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babyboibucky · 3 years

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Elevate Thy Hate

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Not a day goes by that you and Bucky don’t argue.

Word Count: 4,642

Warnings: Cliché plot but slight angst, self-doubt and Bucky being a loveable idiot who sucks at communicating

A/N: Surprise one-shot because I just remembered I wrote this like...last year lmfao

MAIN MASTERLIST

You woke up feeling great and excited. The mission was finally finished, debriefings were done and reports have been submitted. Everyone was given an entire week to get some rest and since rest days were pretty rare, you truly looked forward to this day.

Before you could even saunter in the kitchen, you had already heard the chatters from your fellow Avengers. One particular voice irked you though but hell no, you weren’t going to let one Bucky Barnes ruin your day.

A chorus of good mornings greeted you as soon as you walked into the kitchen. Nat and Steve were on one side of the counter sipping their coffee while Sam and Wanda were finishing up their food. Tony and Bruce were out of sight, probably holed up in the lab doing experiments as usual. Bucky didn’t acknowledge you and quickly headed out of the kitchen, thankfully. You weren’t in the mood to pick a fight.

Walking up to the cupboards, you quickly grabbed you favorite cereal and proceeded to pour it out on your bowl. None came out though. You peeked inside bag and saw that only crumbs of it were left.

“Who the—“

Everyone was already pointing at Bucky when you turned around to ask. And of course, Bucky did it on purpose because he stood there at the end of the hallway, watching you with smug grin on his face.

“I hope your day sucks.” He said and flipped you the bird before turning around to walk away.

You groaned out loud, ignoring the amused chuckles from everyone else in the kitchen.

“I’m not stooping down to your level, asshole! I hope your day is average!”

The day was fortunately uneventful, except for your ruined breakfast care of Bucky. You were determined not to let that annoy you for the rest of the day. So far, so good. You could only wish it’d continue that way for the rest of the week.

“I told you not to rush!” Bucky snapped.

“I had him already! If you didn’t throw that goddamn smoke grenade I would’ve killed him!” You explained.

You could see Sam shaking his head in frustration. Bucky always had to blame something on you even though you weren’t the one at fault.

Bucky snorted, “He had a sniper for fuck’s sake! One shot and you’re dead.”

“Oh wow, says the one who got shot before I did.” You rolled your eyes at Bucky.

The two of you continued to bicker until Nat and Steve walked into the living room looking confused as you and Bucky exchanged insults while Sam remained sandwiched between the both of you on the couch.

“Who got shot?” Steve asked, glancing at you and Bucky alternately.

“Did we miss out on a mission or...?” Nat continued.

Sam chuckled, “We were playing Call of Duty and we lost.” He explained, taking the opportunity to get up from the sofa.

Steve still looked lost, something that Nat immediately picked up. “It’s a video game.” She explained.

“You two are fighting over a game?” He asked you and Bucky.

“They fight over everything.” Nat shrugged and walked out of the room with Sam tagging behind her.

“I’m outta here too, I’m so done babysitting the kids.” He muttered under his breath.

It was past midnight when you were in the living room alone, watching television while eating a Whopper. The lights were turned off and it was absolutely quiet in the compound, setting the perfect ambience for the crime documentary you were watching.

Not long after, you heard someone walk into the living room. It was only when your heard the familiar grunt that you realized who it was. Of course, it had to be Bucky.

“Are you eating a burger?” He asked incredulously.

“No, it’s popcorn. Of course it’s a fucking burger, are you blind or just dumb?” You snapped, your eyes still glued on the television.

“Dumbfounded that you’re eating that at this hour. No wonder you suck at cardio.” Bucky said as he sat down on the other end of the sofa.

“Are you body-shaming me?” You gasped.

Bucky snickered, “I didn’t say anything, I just said you suck at cardio.” He said, not looking at you.

You chose to ignore him and brought your attention back to the television. It was quiet for moment. You almost forgot about Bucky’s presence until of course, he decided to annoy you yet again.

“Can you pass the remote?” Bucky asked monotonously.

“No.”

Silence.

“This show sucks.” He commented.

You were focused on the show but noticed that Bucky was staring at you.

“Can you please pass the remote?” He asked again.

“In case you didn’t notice, I’m watching. I was here first. I hold the rights to control the remote.” You deadpanned, refusing to look at him.

There was a flash of black and gold right before your eyes. Everything happened quickly and the next thing you knew, Bucky was hovering above you, trapping you between his body and the arm rest of the sofa.

“The fuck, Barnes?! Get off of me!” You protested and started pushing him away.

“You gotta work on your reflexes, darling.” He said, finally leaning away from you, remote now in his hand.

He grinned triumphantly and switched the channel before placing the remote inside his sweatpants, “Want to switch the channel? Come and get it.” he taunted as he leaned back on the couch, opening his legs wide as he showed off how the remote created a tent in his sweatpants.

That was the remote...right? You mentally slapped yourself for actually thinking about what Bucky was packing beneath those pants and frowned.

“You’re an asshole and a disgusting one.” You told him.

“God, I hate you.” You muttered and crumpled the wrapper of your burger before throwing it at Bucky.

Deciding that you didn’t want to argue any further, you got up and left the living room, but not without telling Bucky again how much you hated him for making your life miserable.

“The feeling is mutual.” You heard him say.

The petty fights with Bucky went on and on during that entire week of rest. Despite the arguments, there were small moments of kindness shared between you and the soldier.

“Where are you going dressed up so nicely?” You asked Bucky upon seeing him walk into the kitchen wearing a leather jacket on top of a black shirt, dark, tight-fitting jeans and a pair of Doc Martens.

It was meant as an insult, of course. You took every opportunity to tease Bucky and his newfound sense of fashion. Said fashion meant his taste for very millennial outfits despite his old age.

“Grocery.” He replied as he went over to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

“Ooh, can you buy me Starbucks on your way back? I’ll pay.” You asked kindly.

Bucky just stared at you as he drank from his glass of water. He slammed it on the counter before walking past you.

“Not a damn chance.”

He did buy you Starbucks though. It didn’t shock you that much considering that the both of you didn’t hate on each other all the damn time. But what surprised you was that he brought you your usual drink and your favorite pastry too.

Steve must have forced him to do so, probably told his best friend your usual orders as well so you made a note to thank him as soon as they got back.

And thank Steve you did, but you didn’t expect the reply that you got.

“Oh was that the reason why Bucky kept bugging me about stopping by Starbucks?” Steve asked.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “What do you mean? I thought he told you I asked him to buy me Starbucks.”

Steve chuckled, “I guess now I know why he wouldn’t shut up about it.” he said, amusement laced in his tone.

“I don’t understand, Cap.” you said.

Steve just smiled at you in response before squeezing your shoulder, “Maybe you will understand soon.”

And with that, he left you feeling even more confused. You honestly didn’t understand the context of the conversation so you decided to just ignore it. Steve sometimes would say weird shit that none of the Avengers knew about. You dismissed it and thought that maybe it was Steve being a decade old, it was probably an old man thing.

You decided to make coffee for Bucky the following day, as a simple gesture to thank him for the Starbucks. He didn’t ask you to pay him back so you felt obligated to do a little something for him. You were an asshole to him sometimes, yes, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to give credit where credit is due.

Okay, so maybe you didn’t really hate Bucky. If you did actually hate him, the entire team would probably do something about it. Maybe force the two of you to talk things out. The hatred was all fun and games, everyone seemed to be amused by it too.

You still considered Bucky your friend despite the constant bickering. You had to admit, the arguments were pretty fun.

Although, you were wondering whether Bucky felt the same about considering you as his friend. Sometimes, his attitude towards you confused the hell out of you.

One day he’d eat the chocolate you’ve been saving up for cheat day just to spite you. And it definitely did because you ended up cursing him out loud when you saw him munching on it. The next day he brought you a new one. You were watching Netflix when he waltzed into the living room and threw a bar of chocolate at your lap before walking out without saying a word.

These exchange of small yet kind (and confusing) gestures remained unacknowledged. You didn’t know why but you also didn’t feel the need to talk about them. You weren’t going to lie but Bucky’s random acts of kindness would always put a smile on your face.

The vacation unfortunately came to an end and everyone had to go back to saving the world. All of you were gathered in the conference room with Fury for a briefing about the next mission. It wasn’t as big as the last one but it still required a lot of planning.

After explaining the mission, Fury let Steve take over the meeting to strategize.

Some were assigned to do surveillance around the parameter while some were appointed to do all the groundwork. Steve of course, just had to partner you with Bucky to do the actual infiltration given that your skills complemented each other’s.

You grinned and was prepared to roast Bucky’s ass when you turned to him and was met with a scowl. He shook his head with what you assumed was disappointment and turned away from you.

It was the first time he ever dismissed you like that. Sure, you were rude to each other but the look that Bucky gave you wasn’t a teasing one. He wasn’t mocking you nor frustrated. Bucky seemed to really hate the idea of being partnered with you. It was the first time that the two of you had to work together without anyone else. Usually, Steve or Sam joined but for this mission, it was just you and Bucky. Concluding that he must have woken up at the wrong side of the bed, you chose to ignore your gut feeling and focused back to Steve.

After the meeting, everyone else exited the room and started with the preparations for the mission. As you walked down the hallway leading to your bedroom, you heard some soft chattering coming from Steve’s bedroom.

You were supposed to ignore it until you heard your name, making you stop in your tracks.

“I can’t be partnered with her, Steve.”

Bucky.

“Buck, just go with it. I can’t be changing assignments at the last minute.” Steve explained.

Bucky sighed, “You know I can’t function properly when she’s around, let alone be partnered with her. She distracts me, Steve. Her skills distract me and I swear on our friendship, I would end up dying on this assignment.”

“You’re being overly dramatic, Buck. Just suck it up, pal. Do the mission and get it over with.”

“Steve, you don’t understand. I really can’t deal with her. Especially if it’s just the two of us. You know how much I fucking—“

“Hate me?”

You couldn’t help but interject in their conversation. How could you not? Bucky was complaining about how he couldn’t deal with you. It really hurt hearing Bucky say all those things about you. Sure, you were somewhat new to the team and you didn’t have superpowers nor years of training like the rest. But you worked your ass off to be in this position. And for him to say that he couldn’t function with you being around struck a nerve. The last thing on your mind was to hold back your teammates, that’s why you train twice, thrice as hard.

Steve and Bucky stared at you as if they’ve seen a ghost. It’s as if all their blood was drained out of their body when they saw you step inside the room. Bucky was about to say something but you decided to cut him off, not wanting to hear more about how he doesn’t want to be partnered with you.

“We don’t get along that well, I get that. But I honestly thought that our arguments were harmless. Hell, I consider us friends. I didn’t think that you actually hated me.” Your voice quivered because you were truly, deeply hurt.

“That’s not what I meant.” Bucky insisted.

“You literally said that you might end up dying because of being partnered with me, Bucky! Look, I know that I don’t have a super serum running through my veins. I can’t move things with my mind and I can’t come up with life-changing tech. I wasn’t trained since childhood nor have the perfect aim. But I worked hard to be in this team. I trained hard not to be a burden to anyone and I’m sorry if my skills aren’t up to your standards.”

What did you even do to Bucky for him to hate you this much?

“Don’t worry, I won’t burden you. Once this mission is over, I won’t bother you anymore. Ever.” You said before walking out of the way, ignoring Bucky when he had repeatedly called your name.

The ride to the location was filled with tension. Although everyone else had no idea what happened, they somehow knew that the tension had something to do with you and Bucky.

Thankfully, the quinjet was big enough for you not to end up sitting beside Bucky.

“You okay?” Wanda asked, noticing how restless you were.

What you heard definitely affected you in more ways than one. You kept on double checking your weapons, your gadgets and you even ended up doubting yourself. Were you really equipped to be an Avenger? Steve said that Bucky was merely overacting but what if he was right? What if you weren’t skilled enough to protect him or your teammates?

“That’s not true.” Wanda said out of the blue. “I didn’t mean to read your mind, though. Your thoughts are coming off too strong, kinda hard to ignore.” She said apologetically.

You softly laughed, “I should really be staying away from you.” You joked.

Wanda smiled and placed her hand on top of yours, “I mean it though. You’re amazing at what you do. I don’t understand why you’re doubting yourself about being an Avenger.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you offered Wanda a grateful smile. You noticed that Bucky had been staring at you the entire time but simply ignored him. You weren’t going to let him snap you out of your focus.

Once on location, everyone started to split up and listened for Steve’s orders through the comms. You and Bucky managed to get inside the base, all thanks to Nat and the Hulk who handled all the guards.

The building was completely empty when the two of you walked around in search of the hidden quarters where all the intel were kept.

Bucky whistled to get your attention, you turned and saw that he was motioning towards what seemed to be a regular brick wall. However, there were a few bricks out of place and upon examining it, you realized it was some sort of a secret door. You managed to figure out which bricks to push and thankfully, it didn’t take you long enough to open the door which revealed an old, steel elevator.

“We found the entrance, Steve.” Bucky said into the comms.

“Careful in there, there were suspiciously a few guards within the parameters. They all might be in there.” Nat warned.

You heaved out a deep breath before stepping into the elevator with Bucky trailing behind you. There was only one button in the elevator, a red one.

“Can someone scan the elevator and make sure this button won’t set off any boobie trap or something?” You asked nervously as you inspected the elevator for any hidden traps.

The comms cracked with Sam’s voice. “Button is safe although...” he trailed.

“Although what?” Bucky asked, examining the elevator as well.

“You’re in for a long ride.”

You frowned, “How long?” You asked.

“Can’t see. It’s way too deep.”

Sam was able to scan the entire base and true enough, the elevator would lead deep down into the hidden laboratory. How deep into the ground it was, none could tell. Neither Sam nor Tony’s technology could see through due to the lack of signal. Steve said it might be dangerous to proceed given that there were no other ways into the lab except for the elevator.

The lack of signal down there meant no communication.

“Guys, I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue with this mission.” Steve said.

“But we’re so close, Steve.” You said.

“I think Steve is right. It’d be hard to call for back up when things go south.” Bucky interjected, not even sparing you a glance.

You snorted. Bucky sure wasn’t overacting when he was complaining about your skills. He definitely didn’t trust you. You weren’t going to settle for that.

“We won’t need any back up.”

And with that, you pressed the red button and completely ignored everyone’s warnings through the comms. Bucky looked at you with disbelief and tried to press the red button again in hopes of halting the elevator. However, the brick wall had closed and the elevator started its descent.

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” He yelled and tried to search the elevator for some sort of stop button.

“We’ll follow soon!” Steve’s voice was the last you heard before your comms completely lost its signal.

“Christ, we don’t even know whether it’s the lab that’s down there!” Bucky said, continuing his search for anything that would bring the both of you up to the ground floor.

“I’m not as stupid as you think I am. All secret doors lead to a top secret room and no, we won’t be needing any back up because I am totally capable of taking down anyone who gets in the way.” You stubbornly replied and leaned against the wall.

You wondered how long the elevator ride was going to be. At the speed that it’s going, it wasn’t impossible to take at least fifteen to twenty minutes if the lab was really far down into the ground. Bucky’s frustration was evident from the way he kept on inspecting the elevator walls. At first it was easy to ignore but Bucky was becoming more and more desperate to find a way to go back up.

“Your desperation to stay away from me is just...astounding.” You said with a bitter chuckle.

“I’m finding a way to get out of here, not away from you.” Bucky explained calmly.

You shook your head, “You don’t trust me to keep you alive, I get it. But can you tone it down even for just a bit?” You spat at him.

Bucky pressed the bridge of his nose and let out an exasperated sigh, “You don’t need to keep me alive.”

“Of course not, you don’t need me to do so ‘cause you’re so capable. How did I not think of that?” At this point, you couldn’t stop the word vomit.

You had tons of things to say to Bucky to prove to him that you were totally good at what you do, that he didn’t need to underestimate you just because you were a new addition to the team.

“That’s not what I mean.” Bucky explained again.

It was starting to annoy you that the more you were becoming agitated, the calmer he was becoming. And he kept on telling you that he meant differently with his statements but he never really attempted to further explain his side.

“Then what do you mean, Bucky?” You pressed. “What did I ever do to you for you to hate me this much? Did I say something offensive? Do I have to train 24/7 for you to think that I deserve to be working alongside the Avengers?” You kept on babbling on and on and on.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand, “I don’t hate you, okay?” He doesn’t even spare you a look.

All this time, he was looking at anything but you and it was really getting on your nerves.

“See? You keep on telling me that you don’t hate me but you can’t even look at me! I mean, if you really loathe me then own up to it! It hurts me more that you keep on denying it when you can’t even explain a damn thing. At least tell me why!” You were never an emotional person and Bucky knew that, so when he finally turned to look at you, he was surprised to see you on the verge of tears.

“Hey, hey...” Bucky coaxed and tried to hold you but you stepped away from him.

“Just please tell me why, Buck. Tell me and I promise to stay away. If you think I suck at being an Avenger to the point of irritating you, tell me so I can train my fucking ass off until you deem me fit to be an Avenger. If my jokes offended you, I’m sorry. If I—“

“It’s because I like you.”

“...what?”

Bucky Barnes...likes you? It’s as if the silence went on forever inside the elevator that seemed to keep going. How long were the two of you inside it anyway? You couldn’t tell anymore and you didn’t know whether Bucky was simply fooling around with you.

“That’s not funny.” You said.

Bucky shook his head, “It’s not a joke.”

You stared at him doubtfully, “Explain.” You demanded.

Bucky licked his lips and let out a soft chuckle, “I’m an idiot.” He said.

“That doesn’t explain anything. If any, I’d think you’re simply fucking with me.” You pointed out and crossed your arms over your chest.

That seemed to urge Bucky to finally explain. “What you heard in Steve’s room was correct.”

“So you really hate me.”

Bucky groaned, “Let me finish, please?” He pleaded. When you remained silent, he continued to explain himself.

“You really do distract me during missions. Because you’re so amazing and I never doubted your skills. But I also get worried and I hate it when I see you in pain or wounded and it fucking distracts me. I didn’t want to be partnered with you because when I see you, I just...fuck. I like you that much. You kick someone’s ass and I’d end up watching you with awe that it’d cause me my own demise. That’s what I meant. That I’d probably end up dying because whenever you’re around, you have my full attention.”

The anger within you dissipated just like that. You could feel your face heat up from Bucky’s unexpected confession.

“But you’re an asshole to me.” You pointed out.

Bucky laughed, “Because that’s how I get your attention. You walk into a room with a kind-hearted super soldier, a witty bird brain and a few more intelligent men and yet I’d be the first one you’d acknowledge. With a snarky comment but still, attention is attention. It’s the only way I get to interact with you without feeling awkward. I suck at conversations, I mean, you heard me and though I was hating on you when I was merely blabbering to Steve about how much I like you.”

This time, you couldn’t hold back your laughter. All along, Bucky was finding a way to talk to you even though it meant constant arguments over the pettiest things. To be fair though, he really did suck at communicating.

“I’m sorry that it came across like that.” Bucky apologized sincerely. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” He admitted.

You shrugged, “Oh but it does. In fact, it changes everything.”

Bucky’s face fell.

“Because I think I like you too and I kinda want for things to change. For the better of course.” You grinned.

Bucky chuckled and scratched his forehead bashfully, “You think, huh? Not sure?” He asked and turned to you just as the elevator doors opened.

Indeed, it led to the lab where almost all of the targets stayed. The man nearest the elevator had his gun pointed at Bucky but before he could even pull the trigger, Bucky had thrown his knife at him without even sparing a glance and choked the next guy to attack with his metal arm before throwing him towards a group of armed men. He was just gazing at you with a smittened smile.

“Still not sure about liking me back?”

Impressed at his gesture, you smirked.

“Now I am.”

By the time Steve, Nat and Sam walked out of the elevator, the mission had already been done. You walked towards the trio and handed Steve a USB.

“All their data is already saved there. Wiped out their entire system clean too.” You told him, voice chirpy and all.

Bucky was right behind you, a couple of folders in his hands before handing them to Sam, “Lotsa confidential info in there too which includes our next targets.” he said and walked past Sam with a certain jump in his steps.

The three exchanged glances before looking around the entire lab. Men were scattered on the floor, most were dead and others heavily injured.

“What the hell happened here?” Nat asked, avoiding the injured men on the ground as she walked around.

“The mission happened, Nat. All that matters now is that everything has been resolved. I mean, everything.” You said meaningfully and threw Bucky a flirty smile before walking into the elevator.

He followed suit and saluted at the three before pushing the red button. The doors weren’t even closed yet when Bucky couldn’t hold back and quickly leaned to press a soft kiss on your lips. An action that definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the three. You couldn’t help but chuckle when you noticed their reactions before the elevator closed.

Said trio stood there dumbfounded and confused as hell. Early on, the tension between you and Bucky was felt by everyone. The kind of tension then wasn’t even a sexual one. It was so intense that Nat was actually expecting to see you and Bucky at each other’s throats when they got down to the lab.

“Guess that the long ass elevator ride did something. Whatever was in that elevator seems interesting. Wanna go check it out, Nat?” Sam asked suggestively.

Steve chuckled and shook his head.

Nat simply smirked and walked past Sam, “In your dreams, Wilson.”

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #sebastian stan

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warmau · 3 years

Text

☆ko-fi au: nostoligic summer romance!au hanbin find other ikon aus here

the sun burns your shoulders and the skin of your heel. you stand on it and bear the pain as you look down at hanbin, whose face is covered by one of those three-dollar nude magazines

"get up"

"can't you see i am asleep?"

the wind blows some small wisps of hair around your face - somewhere in the distance, you hear junhoe chase a beachball down the shore as jiwon yells for him to race back to the rest of your friends

"hanbin, you are not wasting your summer spread out like this, not doing anything. you are not a piece of seaweed."

"you sound like my mother"

you nudge his elbow with your toe

"did you finish your graduate school application?"

"yeah, im working on it right now looking at -"

he lifts the magazine off his face and flips to a random page, turning it around to face you

averting your gaze you make a sound of disappointment

"the deadline already passed, the school is giving you an extension because they know you'll be a great addition to the program. does that not mean anything to you?"

hanbin lets the next gust of wind pull the magazine from his weak grip and float it pathetically to his left

the silence is his answer in a way and search his face, now that you can see it properly, for anything else

his dark eyes are void and highlighted by a shadow of darkness.

his lips are chapped.

the scratch he got from face planting in the public pool's changing room last weak is still sitting on his cheek only half-hidden under a kids bandage

"hanbin, this is your future"

you whisper it - like it's your future too

maybe because somewhere subconsciously buried in both your chests. you both know it is.

"i know"

you turn around and take his apathy as the final stake in the ground

after years of caring about him, of one-sided adoration hidden behind affectionate and worried friendship

you have learned the hanbin is more stubborn than an ox - especially when he gives up

when you find yourself walking home back alone - the sun still blasting an uncomfortable heat onto your skin - you try to pretend the overwhelming feeling of crying isn't itching its way out

i can't help him forever, especially if he doesn't want to help himself

hanbin calls three days later

"do you want to go fishing with me and jinhwan?"

"fishing?"

"jinhwan said he's trying new hobbies."

you are silent for a second, a part of you wants to explode.

what are you talking about fishing! the application asks you to finish an entire song. to show your effort! who gives a fuck about fishing!

the other part of you is dormant. uninterested.

jinhwan is already a successful editor, maybe he can help hanbin find the right path better than i can.

"no thanks."

you hang up first, something you've never done with hanbin

you're both balanced in that sense - you are usually soft and forgiving and never want to hurt anyone's feelings. you just want to keep helping and helping until there's nothing left of you.

hanbin is more strict - people have to prove themselves to him otherwise he cuts them off without a qualm.

you get a text a few minutes later from jinhwan:

are you and your husband fighting?

my husband? i didn't know i finally married that millionaire from my dreams.

haha im talking about hanbin

you purse your lips. everyone in the world wants 'us' to happen.

no. we're not fighting. he doesn't want to go to grad school.

so?

your fingers hover over the keyboard. right, so what? not like it's your business to run your friend's life.

but that's not it. something is so wrong. hanbin will work on music till his eyes and ears bleed. why is it that composing one little thing for this application that is just going to better his life so hard? why is he so against it?

leaving jinhwan without an answer, you throw yourself on your bed and tell yourself that you have to break this habit

you've been putting hanbin over yourself since you were both young

getting in trouble with him when in reality you'd done nothing but try to stop him from doing something stupid

staying up with him when he'd go through bouts of bad insomnia

shoving your own secrets and pain down to comfort him about his own

you have your own life, goal, and dreams

it's your fault for somehow always imagining that hanbin would want to be part of them

"can you please talk to hanbin again."

jiwon, junhoe, and donghyuk take up the space in your car as you pull into the parking lot of the local mall

you turn the key in the ignition, jiwon and junhoe are sitting far apart in the back seat, still managing to look cramped and donghyuk looks at you sympathetically from the passenger side

"im not avoiding him."

"you're totally avoiding him."

again. you want to explode and also say nothing at all. why are there expectations on you as his friend and not the other way around?

"have you guys asked him about his grad school application? you all have your futures planned - and he's lost."

jiwon pops his bubble gum at the worst possible moment and junhoe looks awkward without an answer to come out of his big mouth.

donhyuk puts a hand on your shoulder

"he didn't just give up, you know."

you snort, "it looked that way to me."

opening the door, you step out and tell the little voice in your head that wonders out loud if hanbin needs your help to please shut up

it's two days before the extension deadline. you know this because it pops up as a reminder on your google calendar and you grumble as you delete it.

having his deadlines on my schedule like he's my goddamn boyfriend or something.

you want to enjoy your summer before you go back to school too, so you dig out a big t-shirt and bathing suit to take to the pool

only when you sling the shirt over yourself do you pick at the worn fabric and groan

this is hanbin's isn't it? the coffee stain at the bottom is totally his signature.

someone knocks on the door of your room, half expecting a family member you open it without caution and nearly throw it shut when you see hanbin in the frame

the only thing that stops you from doing so is the look of utter desperation on his face

"hanbin? when is the last time you slept?"

he breaths through his nose and mumbles maybe three or four days ago

you pull him into your room and shut the door, you try to examine him for any other signs of fatigue but he looks otherwise the same

skinny, slightly hunched over and more beautiful than you could ever say out loud in fear of dying on the spot of embarrassment

"is it your insomnia? do you need to go to the doc-"

"i can't compose the song."

you wave your hand to dismiss the sentence, "that doesn't matter right now. you have to take care of your health first and-"

"i can't stop thinking about you."

suddenly irritated with his tone - you snap under the weight of it all

"you cannot blame your inability to finish this application or giving up or not sleeping on me. just because we haven't spoken in a bit-"

"that's not what i meant."

you cross your hands over your chest, you can feel a fire unlike any other of anger lick up your spine

if he is going to pin this on me somehow im going -

"i love you."

"are you crazy?"

you blurt out your words before you really even hear his own. you were expecting him to start spinning some elaborate tale about how not seeing you or you avoiding him had somehow damaged him further

but this is hanbin, and you admit that never has he put the blame on you without you taking it on willingly

so you blink past the initial shock and ask him to repeat himself

he straightens his bad posture, looks at you and sees past the surface level

"i love you. it's making everything else a blur, so i need to tell you."

"you- you should have told me before."

"i thought you'd slap me." he laughs weakly, but it is forced "or that you'd think i was lying to get you off my back about the application."

you soften, your hands uncross and you drop the defensive look on your face

hanbin runs a line from your eyes to your knees

"are you wearing my shirt?"

"i love you too."

the spell of dread that seems to have clung itself into every nook and cranny of hanbin's existence seems to be exorcised when you say those words to him

like a light has entered the part of him that has been pitch black for weeks now

he doesn't kiss you right after you say it, he kisses you two days later when he submits his application with a song he spent thirteen hours on creating

the song is about that light, the kind of easy feeling of being put into the right puzzle with the right person

that's when he kisses you - when he meets the deadline - and you throw your arms around him and the world starts rotating in the right direction again

summer is still left over for you two to enjoy, you rush around the beach with your friends, you go fishing with jinhwan who decides he hates it at some point, and you spend whatever minute you can with hanbin

even if you're with others, your hands are always glued together. you look at him when you think he's distracted. he looks at you regardless, unashamed of the teasing that comes your way

'it finally happened! they realized they're perfect for each other!'

and when you're alone with your legs tangled with his and hanbin's nervous, soft mouth on the slope of your back. that same uncapped love bursts from both of you.

when summer dwindles and hanbin gets an email about his application

he celebrates by pressing you up against the desk and nearly toppling his laptop over

"can i ask you something?" he plays with a strand of your hair after as the sweat sticks you two together "were you so adamant about me getting into grad school because you love me or-"

you rest your chin on his chest and sigh

"yes, but because it'll help you achieve your dreams. and it'll give you a future that's stable. a future that i want for you and-"

you get shy, tucking your face into his skin

"and?"

he asks, but you just kiss him instead.

when it's ten years after - and hanbin has become successful in ways he had never dreamed

you are successful in your own right too

you're equals and your lives are full of each other and your work and everything else

and hanbin realizes when he's looking at rings by himself after work one day what you wanted to say all that time ago

you wanted him to have a good future so that it could tie in with yours

he reminds himself to ask you when he gets home, by what age had you already planned the wedding?

he expects you will stick your tongue out at him when he does, and you do, but he doesn't expect you to cry for half an hour when he pulls the little box out of his pocket.

#nostalgia au #hanbin au #hanbin scenarios #b.i au #b.i scenarios #hanbin #b.i #ikon au #ikon imagines #ikon scenarios #ko fi commissions #slightly suggestive

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redstainedsocks · 3 years

Text

Wrong

I've had this half-written in my docs for a long while, under the heading "doorstep collapse" so I think it was for a prompt or whump event but I don't remember which one...

Normal story this time, not the AU!

Content: sick fic, fainting, delirious whumpee, hospital setting, use of sedatives, reference to noncon drug use, mentioned death threat and manner of death, overwhelmed caretaker

[Masterlist]

One or two of the team had taken to sleeping at the office at a time so that Zach was never there alone. Archer wanted to stay every night, always eager to be nearby in case something happened, but he’d been convinced to go home at least one out of every three nights.

He’d spent last night at home, sleeping guiltily in his own soft bed, miles and miles from where his best friend was holed up in a sparse, grey room that was as far from homely as Archer could imagine. Though he knew for Zach it was probably the most comfort he’d had in years, which made Archer feel even worse.

He’d slept well at home, exhausted from late nights and stress, but he would much rather have been here. The pull out couch in the break room was lumpy and not long enough for his tall frame but he still preferred it these days. Zach was just down the hall and it soothed a tightness in Archer’s chest to be close by. To know he could walk down the corridor and lay eyes on the person he thought he’d lost.

He was still untangling his own mix of grief and disbelief, but he knew it was easier to bear the guilt of having left Zach with his kidnappers if he was at least around to make sure it didn’t happen again; if he could be there to help Zach feel safe now.

It was easier not to have to examine his emotions and thoughts at all, if he was so exhausted that he couldn’t think straight.

Zach had gone to bed a couple of hours ago and he had sat up flicking through paperwork, trying to keep busy even as his eyes itched with tiredness. His ‘bed’ was made up ready for the night but he was sprawled on top of it, putting off the moment of sleep until he could close his eyes and be instantly drawn under.

He was surprised to hear a soft knock at the door, tentative, the sound of someone off balance slumping on the other side. Maybe Zach couldn’t sleep either? Maybe he’d finally had a nightmare and come for company—something none of them had seen him do yet.

“It’s open,” he said, half sitting up.

The door swung inward and Zach teetered on the threshold. His eyes roved across the room, landing on Archer but darting away again.

“Zach?” Archer was up and off the bed in an instant, but paused a meter or so away, as Zach looked flighty and liable to flinch at any contact.

“Ar-cher.”

“Yeah?”

“I think,” Zach spoke and it was slurred and he clung to the doorframe. “I think something is wrong.”

Archer barely had time to react before Zach’s eyes rolled backward and his body crumpled underneath him. Archer caught him just before his head hit the floor.

Time was standing still and moving too fast all at once. The ambulance had taken what felt like hours to arrive, while Archer sat there cradling Zach—delirious, feverish, burning up and shaking like a leaf.

The private hospital they were in now was clean, clinical, and calm. Quiet. Discrete. It was a good place to keep Zach hidden and secure, but being there still set his teeth on edge. He paced the corridor-like waiting room back and forth, glad that no one told him to stop. The team had all been called; Sasha had been the one who turned up and stayed. She was a quiet, steady presence. And though he could tell from the line of her tense muscles that she was as worried as he was, she let him be the one to fall apart while she held it together.

Zach had a fever, something was infected. The doctors just couldn’t find where or what. They hadn’t been allowed to see him. Yet. Archer hoped that would change soon.

He rubbed his face tiredly. “I should get more coffee.”

“I think coffee is the last thing you need,” Sasha replied, calmly. “Come sit down.”

He glanced at her and shook his head. He needed to be moving, doing. “If he—” Archer couldn’t even bring himself to say it. “After everything, if this is too much for his body to handle…”

“Nothing is going to happen, the doctors are gonna fix it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I?” She levelled him with a look that could surely make a mountain bow down and grovel.

“How didn’t we notice something was wrong?”

“He doesn’t let us near him, not really.”

Finally, he slumped into a seat beside her. “I should’ve watched out for him more carefully, checked he was okay. I should’ve… I owe him. We just… we can’t let him down again, we have to do better.”

“Archer, we’re doing everything we can,” she said gently.

“It’s not enough!” He snapped. “We abandoned him! We just left him there and now we can’t even take care of him? Can’t even tell what he needs?”

“Montgomery Archer, sit. Back. Down,” she hissed.

He hadn’t even realised he was standing. He looked down at her, the unfairness still burning through him, how could she not care? Until he saw her face, eyes glistening, and realised the strength of will it was taking for her to hold it together.

“This is a goddamn hospital and this is not the time,” she said, squeezing her hands between her knees. “We thought he was dead, and there’s shit all we can do about it now. You can have a breakdown about it later, but not now, not like this.”

He took a seat, sheepishly. “Sorry. I… seeing him collapse like that has me all churned up.”

“Don’t apologise, you big oaf. Just breathe, and know they’re doing everything they can, and give yourself some damn slack while you’re at it.” She sniffed and turned away.

He scooted down in his chair and leaned against her shoulder, glad she didn't shrug him off, and relieved not to be alone.

They were finally allowed in the room once Zach was stabilised. Allowed in because, in the doctor’s words… Zach was resistant. Archer hadn’t really understood the implications of that, his mind taken up with thoughts of he’s fine, he’s alive, they’ve got it under control.

But now… he could see what they meant. Zach was fighting the sedative, semi-conscious and struggling, suffering. He couldn’t really move, but his eyes were open and he was frightened, terrified, but so obviously not-really-here, either. Whatever had happened these past two years Zach had built up some tolerance to the drugs they’d given him and it was heart-breaking; seeing him foggy but alert, unsure of where he was and unable—but so desperate—for something he couldn't name or do.

“See if you can get him to remain calm, he needs to rest,” the doctor said, arms crossed in concern as his eyes roved over Zach’s prone form. “We can’t try him on anything else until this one is out of his system but even then… He’s been asking for someone, we assumed, well, it might be you?”

Archer nodded, cleared his throat. ‘Right, yeah. He knows me, I can—I’ll do what I can. Anything I should be careful of?”

“Just mind the IV line, and call us in if he gets more agitated or anything changes.”

“Okay, I’ve got this. Thank you, Doctor.”

He did not have this. Not even a little bit. He felt completely out of his depth. He loved Zach like a brother, had loved him and mourned him, and now… felt like he barely knew him. What qualified him to take care of Zach like this? He wrung his hands and stepped closer as Sasha sidled around to the other side of the bed. Zach’s eyes tried to track her, and lost her somewhere along the way. His breathing sped up again, bloodshot eyes wide and aimlessly roving as his fingers twitched on the bed sheets.

“Please, please,” Zach murmured. Whispered, almost. It was slurred but unmistakable.

Sasha gave Archer a look, and nodded to the bed. He shook his head. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms and they stared each other down.

I can’t do this. He hoped she understood what his look implied.

Her answering look seemed to say you’re not even trying.

He threw his hands up in defeat and stepped closer. Zach’s eyes landed on Archer’s face and he twitched feebly, shivering in his sparse hospital bed.

“‘M good, I’ll be good, please.”

Archer leaned against the bed, trying to look reassuring, confident. “Yeah, you’re doing really well, okay? We’ve got you, nothing to worry about.”

Zach’s hand jerked and his mouth opened and closed before he whined. “Hurts.”

“I know, buddy, I know.” He looked at Sasha who nodded, so he took Zach’s hand and lightly squeezed. “It’s alright.”

“Please, you promised. Promised.”

That took Archer by surprise and he sucked in a breath, biting his tongue.” I know, I-I said nothing else bad would happen to you, I didn’t know this would happen…”

There was a frustrated look on Zach’s face and his eyes filled with tears, his head flopped a little, side to side. “You promised.”

Archer did the only thing he could think of, he squeezed Zach’s hand tighter and dragged the chair by the bed closer so he could sit and be a calming presence. He wouldn’t abandon Zach, not again, no matter how much Zach yelled and cried at him, broken-hearted though it made him to know he’d let Zach down another time.

“I’ll do whatever--ever you want. Sir, please,” Zach’s voice cracked and he mumbled into incoherence, all in a pleading, painfully placating tone.

Archer’s eyes shot up and he met Sasha’s across the bed, looking as concerned as he did as realisation dawned on them both. Zach wasn’t here.

“Where do you think you are, Zach?” she asked quietly.

Zach--who had flinched at sound of his own name--whimpered. “Can’t--don’t know.”

“You’re safe, we’re here, me and Sasha, and the team has our back. You’re in hospital,” Archer said.

Zach looked at him, clearly, finally. “Promise? Keep your word, like you promised?”

“What did I promise you?” It was a calculated risk to play into whatever Zach thought he was seeing, but he needed to know, didn’t he?

“You said… said you wouldn’t lemme die like this. Not like this. A bullet, you promised, not--not sick, not slowly.”

Archer couldn’t breathe, he blinked furiously to try to keep the tears at bay. “I promise, no-one is dying, not here. Not like this.”

Zach breathed out and tears ran down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and rested his head heavily on the pillows. “Promise. And I’ll be good.”

It seemed to be enough to make Zach settle, and he fell into a fitful doze. Sasha brushed hair back from his forehead and checked the lines in the IV on his right hand. Archer brought Zach’s left hand to his face and kissed the back of his wrist, rubbed his thumb in a circle and then laid it down on the sheets and sat back to bury his face in his own hands.

He jumped when Sasha touched his shoulder and scrubbed hastily at his eyes. “We don’t leave him, one of us stays with him until he’s himself again,” he said, voice thick. “We can’t let him get lost in his own head.”

“I’ll get us something to eat,” she said. “We’ll see him through this.” She left quietly, slipping out the door with graceful ease so they kept their privacy.

He nodded. They would. But really… what could they do in the face of all this?

“What the hell did they do to you?” he whispered to the quiet room.

Zach was too far gone to answer.

@haro-whumps @whumpthisway @hurting-fictional-people @lonesome--hunter @crowned-avery @extrabitterbrain @firewheeesky @outofangband

#sick fic #fever #delirious whumpee #hospital #drug use #referenced noncon drugging #death mention #death threat #whumpee and caretaker #fainting #sedated whumpee #sick whumpee #fevered whumpee #team whump #Zach and Archer #spy whump #referenced death threat

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bookipsies · 3 years

Text

Hello, and thank you for attending my Tedx talk: Why Spider-Man 2 is a Masterpiece

1. The opening credits that recap the entirety of Spider-Man in case you missed it

2. Guess how many other marvel heroes are in the intro? Fucking zero this movie is about Spider-Man and Spider-Man alone fuck off iron man get a job.

3. Slow pan out from Kirsten Dunst’s creepy half smile that she maintains for the entirety of the movie

4. Within the first 3 fucking minutes of this movie we get the most iconic line of all time “hey, he stole that guys pizza!”

5. Peter Parker gets 30-45 seconds of uninterrupted shot of him trying to get some mops back into a janitor’s closet while Zooey Deschanel’s sister watches.

6. This movie is 2 hours of Sam Raimi beating Tobey Maguire the fuck up. He throws mops at him, he hits him in the head with a book bag, he lets James Franco bitch slap him twice in the face.

7. James Franco is in it back in the days before we knew he had a clone named Dave.

8. Harry Osborne just forces a physicist to hang out with his friend who is failing College. Also yes Peter Parker is flunking College

9. Literally Peter is flunking everything. He can’t pay rent on his shit ass apartment with a communal toilet, his aunt is losing her house, he can’t make it to a show to see Mary Jane on stage, he’s fired constantly, everyone calls him lazy and a disappointment. Even though he is the goddamn Spider-Man saving the city

10. Aunt May is old as shit. As she should be. I shouldn’t watch a Spider-Man movie and want to FUCK Aunt May and/or watch My Cousin Vinny

11. Remember when no one knew how to make super hero movies? So Sam Raimi is just fucking making it up as he goes.

12. Why is Spider-Man at this physics demonstration? Who the hell cares UNPLUG THE MACHINE SPIDER MAN

13. Back up, why is no one like “hey Otto those arms are evil as fuck”

14. Why do the ARMS HAVE AI!?

15. In the most recent Spider-Man movie the villain wants to steal weaponry to support his family. You know grounded down to earth shit. In Spider-Man 2 the villain wants to MAKE THE SUN BECAUSE HIS ROBOT ARMS TOLD HIM TO

16. There is a reason. J. Jonah Jameson has not made an appearance in another Spider-Man film. Because if it’s not JK Simmons. Than get the fuck out. I know JK won his Oscar for Whiplash but we all know it’s really for his portrayal of J. Jonah Jameson featuring such lines as “flowers? If we spend any more on this wedding you can pick the daisies off my grave!”

17. When the evil robot arms first break bad. Sam Raimi films the scene like a classic horror film and it’s FUCKING. BRILLIANT.

18. So many good screaming women in this movie. Zoom IN ON THAT SCREAMING WOMAN HELL YES.

19. Oh back back up there isn’t a scene in this movie I think where Tobey Maguire doesn’t cry. HE IS AN EMOTIONAL SPIDER MAN AND I LOVE IT

20. James Franco cries too.

21. When PP chooses to give up being SM and “Raindrops keep falling on my head” plays to him waltzing through New York CULMINATING in a freeze frame of his dork ass smiling face.

22. He saves an adorable child who, in maybe the cutest exchange I’ve ever seen, attempts to help PP up when he’s dangling from a ledge in a burning building.

23. Doc Oc dressing like a straight up cartoon pimp.

24. Baby Elizabeth Banks plays JJ’s secretary and is so young she’s adorable.

25. The stopping the subway scene is actually literally iconic. I get tense thinking about it. He’s screaming and it clearly hurts and the subway starts to crack and break and it’s AWESOME and everyone promises not to say who he is afterwards

26. Doc Oc ruining the precious moment by forcibly scooting everyone so he can steal Spider-Man to get COMIC BOOK URANIUM TO, I SAY AGAIN, MAKE THE SUN

27. “Your father only obsessed over his work” “GOOD NIGHT BERNARD”

28. The fight choreography between DOC and Spidey is actually awesome because Doc doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and Spider-Man is fighting 4 robot arms attached to a physicist and it’s just them punching each other and falling.

29. MJ doesn’t appear to own a bra so that’s a thrill every time she gets tossed around.

#spider man 2 #is the greatest spider man #tobey mcguire #I care only for spider man

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ratonnhhaketon · 3 years

Text

Still Breathing

Read on Ao3 | Next Chapter

Summary: Six months after the defeat of Thanos, the world is still in chaos. The threat of the Flag Smashers combined with the new headstrong Captain America means it's time for Valencia Zicari to help save the world one more time. But, in doing so, she also has to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship.

Warnings: Major TFATWS spoilers, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Slow-Burn, John Walker (just in general)

A/N: HHH, new fic time! TFATWS has been consuming my brain these past few weeks and it was only a matter of time before I made another oc and wrote for Bucky. I’ve had this in the works since the first episode but I’m super excited to finally be ready to start posting! This fic will be relatively short but I do also plan on doing a prequel fic eventually to further flush out my marvel oc, Valencia Zicari. I apologize that this starts off kinda slow, with just two phone calls at the beginning, but it will pick up a lot in the upcoming chapters. In the meantime if you have any questions or comments about the fic or Val’s story, don’t hesitate to send them my way! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Your Number On Speed Dial

Bucky’s eyes shot open, his throat closing and lungs gasping for air. He felt the sweat covering his body, the thin blanket tangled between his legs. The cool metal of his dog tags swung against his chest as he sat up, chest heaving as he sucked in breaths and tried to regain his breathing. He looked around his surroundings, slowly calming down as he noticed he was in his apartment.

Another goddamn nightmare.

Realizing he was alone, Bucky instinctively reached up onto the chair next to him for his cellphone. He flipped open the phone, eyes squinting to adjust to the light of the small screen in front of him. He noticed the time, 3:08 am. While he knew that she would more than likely still be up and wouldn’t mind talking, he felt guilty for instinctively reaching out for her this late. Still, he let his hand press accept and after only two rings he heard her familiar voice pick up.

“Hi Buck,” she said with a smile, exhaustion evident in her voice.

“Hi,” he replied with a hoarse voice, sleep still clinging to his vocal chords. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she said with a small laugh. “But, yeah. Probably. I’ve been working my ass off trying to get in contact with Fury and nothing is working.”

“Not even through the SHIELD lines?”

She sighed, a hand coming up to rub at her temples. “I’ve tried, but he’s ‘on vacation’ and is only taking messages if they’re life or death.”

“I mean, shouldn’t he be able to make an exception for you? Given, y’know..”

“Unfortunately I lost the ‘you’re my adoptive daughter’ privilege when I decided to grow up and join the Avengers.” Bucky chuckled in response, his nightmare finally starting to fade from the back of his mind. “I’m just.. worried about Wanda. The whole situation still isn’t sitting right with me, especially since any information has been classified and no one at all can access it.”

“Val,” Bucky said quietly, his metal hand coming up to rub against the chain hanging around his neck. “When was the last time you took a break?”

He heard an audible sigh over the phone and a pause before she spoke up. “Not since half of the world disappeared.”

“Well, how about this. Thursday, you finally put all of that aside for a few hours and we can grab lunch. I’ll buy.”

She thought it over for a moment, Bucky’s breath hitching in his throat in the few seconds it took before she spoke up. “Yeah, that sounds nice. We can go to that sushi place you used to take me to.”

“Sounds perfect, doll. I’ll see you then. Now go get some rest.”

“You too, old man.”

~~~~~

Valencia stood in the common room of the compound, a scowl present on her face as she watched the tv. John Walker’s Good Morning America interview was playing at a low volume. She hadn’t even met the man yet and already hated him. Partly because of how he talked about Steve without knowing the first thing about him, and partly because every journalist in the state of New York had been contacting her in an attempt to interview her about the new Captain America. Pulling her eyes away from the screen, she noticed her phone vibrating to announce an incoming call. She answered, a smile tugging at her lips for the first time in the past day. “Hey Bucky.”

“Hi,” he said shortly. She could feel the anger in his voice. “Have you seen the news?”

“Absolutely,” she replied, her scowl returning to her face. “Everyone has been bothering me about it for the past day. I had to tell Pepper that if one more reporter asked to take a statement from me I’d throw someone out of a window.”

“Jeez. Little harsh, don’t ya think?”

“Probably,” she said with a small laugh.

“Hey, have you talked to Sam recently?”

“Yeah, I was just talking to him earlier before you called. He was telling me about having to go to Munich today, something about the Flag Smashers? I don’t know, he didn’t really give me a lot of information.”

“No, that's great. Thanks, doll. See you Thursday.”

“Alright, Buck. See you then.”

~~~~~

Any normal person would be astonished by the amount of trouble one person could get into in the span of 18 hours. But, in terms of being an Avenger, it’s just a normal Wednesday. Especially when it’s Sam and Bucky’s fault. But, Valencia still found a way to be freaking out when Pepper rushed into her room, shoving a phone into her face to announce that Bucky had a warrant out for his arrest. And had subsequently ended up in a Baltimore jail.

In under an hour she had flown down to the city and found the facility Bucky was being held in. She pulled open the door to the jail, eyes quickly scanning the crowd of people before landing on Bucky’s literal partner in crime.

She made a beeline straight for the dark haired man. “You want to explain to me what’s going on here, Sam Wilson?” Eyes narrowed, lips pulled into a tight line.

Upon seeing her he pushed himself out of his chair. “Val! How ya’ been? You been doing okay?”

“Oh cut the shit, Sam. You better have a good explanation for why I found out that Bucky not only had a warrant out for his arrest, but then ended up in a Baltimore jail leaving me to haul ass down here to figure out what in the hell is happening.”

“First, I need you to calm down. Promise me you won’t freak out?”

She glared at him. “Are you-”

“Val,” he said in a stern tone.

She let out a huff before nodding. “Alright, fine. I’m calm.”

“He helped me with that mission in Munich I told you about and then wanted to introduce me to someone in Baltimore. And he may have missed his therapy appointment in the process.”

“He missed-!” Val immediately yelled out, voice louder than anticipated, which drew the attention of the people around them. Sam put an arm around her shoulder and led the two of them over towards an unoccupied side of the room. “Sam, are you serious? He’s been doing so well! He put in so much effort to make sure he made the appointments and you let him go with you?”

“First of all, I told him repeatedly that I didn’t want him coming, but you know how stubborn he is.”

She let out a defeated sigh and dropped her hands to her sides. “So what do we do now?”

“Well lucky for you they’re actually releasing him.”

Before Val could reply she was cut off by the sound of heels clicking before a familiar voice spoke near them. “Sam. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist. It’s good to see you again, Valencia.”

Val gave her a smile. “Good to see you too, doc.”

“So nice to meet you. You two already know each other?”

“I took Bucky to the first few of his appointments to make sure that he would, y’know, actually go. But that was before..” she waved a hand in the air, “everything.”

Sam nodded. “Well thank you, Dr. Raynor, for getting him out.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me.”

From across the room a booming voice spoke up, instantly grabbing their attention. “Christina!” The three of them all turned in unison and were met with none other than the new Captain America himself, taking pictures with a bunch of fans. “It’s great to see you again.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You know him?” Sam spoke up with a frustrated sigh.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.”

“I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in.” Val watched as he approached the group, her arms instinctively crossing over her chest. “Miss Zicari, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve been trying to reach out for a formal introduction for several days now.”

“It’s Agent, actually. And unlike you I’ve had a lot of other pressing matters that required my attention.”

“Right. Well, anyway. Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.”

“What?”

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?”

“Um,” John used both hands to gesture up towards himself. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up.”

Val’s attention went from John to the sound of a metal door closing behind her. Her head turned towards the sound and she was met with none other than a familiar set of blue eyes side-eyeing the blonde man in front of her. She felt the corner of her mouth turn up in a half-smile as his head turned and saw hers. Almost instantly the token frown he wore at all times faded and turned into his own partial smile. She walked over to him, her arms finding their way around his neck subconsciously. “Hey, Buck,” she breathed as his arms wove around her middle, pulling their bodies flush together.

“Hey to you too,” he said with a small laugh. “Pepper finally let you leave the compound?”

She pulled away to look at him. “Less her letting me leave and more so her immediately getting me a flight and shoving me out the door when she found out you got arrested.”

“Alright lovebirds, break it up.” Dr. Raynor said from behind them. Val’s arms dropped to her side and before she had the chance to correct her, the woman spoke up again. “James, condition of your release, session now.” Bucky let out an audible groan, rolling his eyes slightly, to which Val couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “You too, Sam.”

“That’s okay, I’ll be out here with Val.”

“That wasn’t a request.”

She pulled her phone from the pocket of her leather jacket and noticed an incoming call. “Just go, I’ll be outside. I gotta take this anyway.” Val walked outside of the jailhouse, sliding a thumb across the screen to answer the call in the process. She partially paid attention to what Pepper was telling her as the new Captain America walked past her, obviously checking her out with a side-eye as she leaned against the chipped bricks. Her eyes narrowed at him as he turned to steal another glance her way before turning her eyes away and down the opposite side of the road.

“Yeah, he’s okay… no, I don’t know the specifics of how it works out with the pardon... I’ll keep you updated, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be back any time soon. I kinda feel like I’ll be joining the idiots on whatever they plan on doing next… Alright, I will. Keep me updated on the whole Westview situation and tell Morgan to stop stealing the snacks from my room. Oh, haha. Take care, Pepper.”

As she hung up the phone she saw the door next to her swing open with a visibly angry Sam walking out of it. Bucky trudged out a few seconds later, looking angry but more upset than the man in front of him. As the door started to close behind him he saw Val and walked over to her.

“Do you think Steve was wrong about me?” She could tell he was fighting back tears by the way his voice cracked at the end.

Her hands cupped his face. “Bucky, no, absolutely not. Why would you say that?”

He looked away, not able to look her in the eye. After all the nights they spent together, her talking him down from a nightmare, reassuring him and chasing the negative thoughts away, he couldn’t admit that part of him still felt that same way. “It.. doesn’t matter.”

“If it’s making you this upset, then yes it does.”

He let out a huff as her thumb began to lightly rub against the stubble on his cheek. “Sam shouldn’t have given up the shield.”

“I know, Buck, I know. But there’s nothing we can do now, so let’s just try to figure out what’s happening with..” she lifted a hand from his face and used it to make vague gestures around them. “Everything right now.”

The loud siren from a police cruiser halted their conversation, the sound making Val physically jump. She looked towards the source of the sound and scowled. This asshole again. “Gentlemen,” John’s eyes scanned Val’s figure quickly before adding, “and lady. Good to see you again.” Begrudgingly, she followed Sam and Bucky’s lead and walked towards the blonde haired man and his sidekick. “Look, if we divide ourselves we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “So what do you got?”

“Should she be hearing this?” John gestured to Val.

She scoffed. “I’m on board now, so out with it.”

“Alright. Well the leader’s name is Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians that have been helping Karli move from place to place. They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe. We think that she's taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps.”

“Well there’s been hundreds of those put up across the planet since The Blip,” Valencia interjected. “So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.”

“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” John shot back, annoyance prevalent in his voice.

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky spoke up, patience quickly being stretched thin.

“No, we don’t know, Bucky,” Walker’s voice rose dramatically. “It’s only a matter of time before we find out.”

Bucky cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing at the man in front of him. “Things are really tense for you, aren’t they Walker?” Val rested a gentle hand against Bucky’s chest, holding him back as a reminder not to do anything irrational- although she definitely wanted him to.

Sam approached the super soldier, putting a hand in the air to further make him back off. “Take it easy. Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kinds of authorizations you have to get. We're free agents. We're more.. flexible. So it wouldn't make sense for us to work with you.”

The trio started to walk off before Walker stood up from the cruiser and spoke. “A word of advice, then.” The three of them turned to look at him once again. “Stay the hell out of my way.”

Knowing that it wasn’t worth it to get a final word in, Sam put a hand on either of their shoulders and pushed them to keep walking away. Once they were a reasonable distance down the street, Val turned to Bucky and noticed he was deep in thought. “What’s on your mind, Buck?” she asked with a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder.

“Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said “my people”...” he trailed off, still staring ahead.

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant-” Sam tried to correct him before Bucky cut him off.

“No, he meant HYDRA.” He paused for a moment, feet coming to a stop as he looked between the pair next to him. “HYDRA used to be my people.”

“Bucky,” Val spoke up cautiously.”

Sam scoffed. “Not a chance.”

“Walker doesn’t have any leads.”

“I know where you’re going with this, no.”

“He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia.”

“Oh, you cannot be serious,” Val said as she dragged a tired hand over her face.

“So you’re just gonna sit in a room with this guy?”

Bucky hesitated for a moment, obviously not thinking about his idea that much ahead of time. “Y-yes.”

Val sighed, shaking her head slightly. “Out of all your ideas, this has got to be the dumbest.” She looked at Sam, who shrugged his shoulders and nodded. “Fine. Let’s go see Zemo.”

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badoccultadvice · 4 years

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September 2020 Horrorscopes

Aries

What are you going to do with your life besides cry about it on Facebook chat? You’ve got to find a new way to express your rage at the uncaring void that is the universe. Get on Snapchat.

Your Omen for the Month - Every feather you see on the sidewalk means something. I just don’t know what.

Taurus

Oh hey, good to see you. We were looking through the classifieds earlier. Can you clean bird cages?

Your Omen for the Month - Look out for purple orcas. That would be pretty damn weird, right?

Gemini

You don’t get to solve problems for the rest of the month. Instead you will ask advice from Nextdoor and get to know your neighbors better.

Cancer

Try imitating your favorite muppet. This muppet will come to you in your dreams and tell you your real horoscope, but in indecipherable code.

Aquarius

Why does everyone keep screwing up around you? It’s a conspiracy to make sure you don’t grow complacent. One day, in the distant future, humanity will need you to write the definitive dictionary of all profanity, and you won’t be able to do it unless you’ve got proper ammo.

Leo

Why not take a break and enjoy the sunshine? Remember to apply a generous layer of sunblock. Also, some aloe vera to seal the moisture in. And some coconut oil for more moisturization. Then, stir in some powdered sugar, being careful not to form lumps. Next take your cake out of the fridge where it’s been cooling for the past 34 hours. You’ll have an easy time icing it now. Which is good because I mixed up the doc I was writing horoscopes in with the doc for cake recipes, and I don’t know what actually happens for you this month. Please enjoy the cake instead.

Virgo

It’s ok to open up sometimes. We all have our own inner tragedy. You can finally start talking about the rhinos. The goddamn, goddamn rhinos.

Libra

Take a page from someone else’s book. We suggest the auto repair section of the library--no one looks there.

Scorpio

Don’t feel bad if you skip out on social engagements. Nothing of real importance happens this month.

Sagittarius

When in doubt, try shuffling a deck of cards. Not to tell fortunes, I don’t know how to do that. It just makes you look really cool.

Capricorn

Stop being so negative. When someone asks you if you’d like to do something you don’t like, instead of just shutting them down, say: “Hey, that sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you try it with my alternate universe self? They’re free.”

Pisces

You know what they say: The more the merrier. Well guess what? For this month, as a Pisces, you get all 12 horoscopes at once! Having a hard time picking one? Try a D12!

Ophiuchus

You’re not a real sign, but the internet can’t stop talking about you. I know, it still seems pretty random, but I guess just go with it and maybe start a Twitch stream?

Your Omen for the Month - A stack of half-finished bullet journals falling off a shelf and reminding you of all your old abandoned hobbies.

-----

These are September’s Horrorscopes!

Want the omen for each sign, to be extra prepared for the month to come? Want an expanded version of each piece of advice that’s the length of Leo’s? (Of course Leo’s was the biggest.) Want more?

Check out BOA’s Patreon tier!

Cute image versions for you to share are popping up on Facebook and Instagram, and individual text posts to retweet are on Twitter!

Otherwise, see you next month with a new set of 12 horrorscopes and some omens!

PS: If any of these come true or become useful, feel free to let us know in the notes. I just write them all stream of consciousness, and after everything that’s happened this year, I’m ready to expect anything.

#bad occult advice #horoscopes #horrorscopes #astrology #witchcraft humor #witchcraft

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joe-mazzello-archive · 4 years

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Drops of Jupiter - Part Two

Summary: A story about how one extremely unassuming person became the most important person you had ever met. And then he broke your heart. And then you broke his. Only fair, right?

Word Count: 11k, I AM SO SORRY someone take google docs away from me

Rating: 18+

Warnings: dash of fluff, dash of angst, dash of smut, little of everything my friends

A/N: surprise! almost three months later, and we’re finally back with part two. this monster is going to be at LEAST another two parts. maybe three? we’ll see how wordy i get. i hope you guys enjoy. taglist is still open :)

As soon as you heard the comforting sound of the door clicking, you let out a shaky breath and dropped all of your clothes onto the floor. You glanced at yourself in the mirror; you were quite a sight. Stark naked, hair a mess. You looked absolutely fucked out. Your pussy throbbed with arousal, contracting around nothing. You took a deeper breath and attempted to put yourself together, the distant voices of Joe interacting with your other friends downstairs bringing you back to reality. Once you were as satisfied as you could be (considering you hadn’t been satisfied in that way), you made your way downstairs in what felt like a weird version of the walk of shame.

Joe, Rob, and the rest of the condo’s inhabitants were congregating in the kitchen when you made your awkward entrance.

“Sorry for the cockblock,” Rob said with a chuckle, causing you to roll your eyes. He always did lack a filter.

“It’s okay,” you answered with a shrug. “We’ll just fuck in your bed to make up for it.” Joe threw his head back and let out a deep belly laugh and you beamed. Any time you could make him laugh felt like a victory. Rob rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Still earning that nickname, Miss Chaos,” Rob countered with a smirk. You shook your head, trying to hide your grin while flipping him off.

“Well,” you said, slapping both hands down on the kitchen counter. “I still feel like shit from being fucking drugged and I haven’t eaten yet. So if you will all excuse me.” You shot Joe a quick glance, curious to see how he’d react, before heading towards the front door.

“I’m pretty hungry, too,” came Joe’s voice from behind you and you grinned at your success. Once you had both made it to the hallway, his arm snaked around your back to grip your hip and pull you into him. You giggled as your bodies bumped together as you walked. “Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

The two of you wandered down the street in search of the pizza place your group often frequented when everyone was in town. Once you reached your destination, you each ordered a slice and took a seat at a small table in the corner.

“Hey remember that time we tried to have sex in the condo and then everyone got back and we had to stop?” Joe asked sarcastically. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, gently kicking him under the table.

“Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. Or maybe less than an hour ago,” you replied with a wink. Joe grinned back at you, and, fuck, there wasn’t a more beautiful sight than that man’s smile. You could stare at his face for hours.

“Well, here we are,” he countered. “Fully clothed. Completely sober. Not a roofie in sight.” You cringed and he noticed. “Too soon?” You chuckled.

“Considering it hasn’t even been twenty four hours, I’d say so,” you replied.

“What I’m trying to say is this is the first time we’ve been alone with no distractions,” Joe explained. You arched an eyebrow, curious as to where he was going with this. “So tell me about yourself.”

So you did. You told him about your family back in your home state. You talked about your job and told horror stories about customers you’d encountered. You complained about your roommate. You gushed about your favorite movies and tv shows. All the while, Joe listened. Like, actually listened. He asked questions and laughed along at your jokes. He brought up things that he had seen you post on social media over the past year and you were surprised he had remembered. His eyes lit up every time he learned something new. It felt different…you felt like you could be yourself with no hesitation. Nothing holding you back. It was freeing.

Then it was his turn. He passionately ranted about his life back home. He hated his job but it paid the bills. He was close with his family and had a ride-or-die group of friends he always got into trouble with. He dreamed of traveling the world, a passion instilled in him by his great aunt. He loved video games and his guilty pleasure was reality tv shows.

You were lost in him, transfixed on every word he said. You wanted to listen to him talk for hours and hours and hours. And you quickly realized you had. The pizza had long been eaten, the table long since cleared. The two of you decided to start heading back to the condo to see what the game plan was for the rest of the evening. But you didn’t want him to stop.

“Finish your story,” you requested, nudging him in the shoulder as you began your walk back to your building.

“Oh come on, I’m sure you’ve gotta be tired of me talking by now,” Joe replied, nudging you back. You chuckled and shook your head.

“Not in the slightest.” In fact, you’d never get tired of him talking. You barely watched where you were walking, you were so captivated by him. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. The way his hands never stopped moving as he spoke. The way he got excited whenever you’d ask a question he could answer.

By the time the two of you walked through the front door of your condo, he was excitedly recounting a story from his recent trip to Thailand. The two of you plopped down on your bed as he pulled out his phone, showing you picture after picture of the places he saw and the people he had met.

It suddenly occurred to you what made him so enrapturing. His passion. The man was so goddamn passionate. He was passionate in the way he told stories, so animated and full of life. He was passionate in the way he had kissed you, holding you close and giving it his all. He was just passionate about life. It was both attractive and inspiring. You’d never met someone so fervent and free in your entire life.

And that’s when you knew you were fucked.

No longer was this a hookup between friends, a quick little summer fling to tide you over. You had caught feelings. And as the man in front of you enthusiastically detailed his experiences in Phuket, a slight sadness overcame you. Because in a few days time, this man -- this beautiful, clever, funny, and passionate man -- would board a plane back home. And you wouldn’t see him for another year.

You were so fucked.

The sound of the front door opening brought you out of your trance. You both turned to see Dan and Matt entering, each holding a snow cone. Dan’s face immediately hardened at the sight of Joe. You jumped to your feet in an instant, passing by a confused Matt and grabbing Dan’s arm, pulling him out into the hallway with you and slamming the door behind you.

“I thought I made it clear that he was not welcome--”

“He didn’t do it,” you cut in, shutting him up. “I promise you he didn’t. There was another guy at the bar who did it. I’m certain of it.” Dan was still tense, a frown taking up residence on his face. You adored Dan. As the oldest of your friends, he had accidentally become the leader of the crew. He booked the condo, organized airport pickups, and attempted to rally your friends for group outings when he could. He was your big brother essentially, and you knew he cared about you. He had met Joe last year when you did, so who could blame him for not trusting his character? He didn’t really know him. You hadn’t before now.

“I just--” he began, taking a breath before continuing. “When I saw him try to get into your bed after you had passed out, I snapped. I didn’t want him to try anything.” You reached out and pulled him into a hug, being careful to mind the melting snow cone he still had in his hand.

“Thank you for looking out for me,” you replied before pulling away and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “I appreciate you. But Joe is one of the good ones.” Dan let out a sigh.

“He still needs to sleep in his own bed,” he argued. “But his ban has been lifted.” You enveloped him in another hug, this time forgetting about the snow cone. You squealed as some of the blue liquid dripped onto your skin and finally Dan broke, laughing at your reaction. You nodded towards the door, and the two of you rejoined the rest of your friends who were huddled around the living room, chatting about who knows what.

A hush fell over the room as you and Dan made your entrance.

“Hey, Joe,” Dan said, breaking the awkward silence. He nodded toward the hallway you had just come from. “Wanna chat?”

Joe shot you a look, almost as if he was asking if it was safe. You smiled and nodded, signalling that things were good.

“Yeah, sure,” Joe replied with a slight smile, getting to his feet and following Dan out, but not before giving your hand a quick squeeze as he passed. The touch brought that same heat to your chest you’d been feeling since that first night. Fuck, you wanted him. No, needed him. You two needed to find a way to get privacy while he was here or you were going to burst.

✧✧✧

After grabbing dinner as one big group at a nearby Mexican restaurant, everyone voted to skip the normal nighttime itinerary of heading out to the bars. What with your...incident...and the fact that everyone was exhausted from the first two nights of partying, the group agreed that it was better to have a relaxing night-in.

So you did what a huge group of nerds looking for a calm night-in did best: grabbed every blanket and pillow you could find, made a giant cuddle puddle in the living room, and queued up The Fellowship of the Ring.

You ended up sandwiched between Kayla and Joe on the couch, snuggled under a cozy blanket with a giant bowl of popcorn on your lap. As you watched the movie, passing around the popcorn amongst your friends, you found yourself sneaking peeks at Joe out of the corner of your eye every once in a while. How he could be so effortlessly good-looking clad in a plain t-shirt made absolutely no sense. You noticed him shift slightly and you snuck a peek at him again, only to be met with him looking directly at you with a smile. You felt your face heat up, knowing you had been caught. Joe simply rolled his bottom lip through his teeth and winked at you. And just when you thought your body’s temperature couldn’t increase anymore, you felt Joe’s hand come to a rest on your thigh under the blanket. Fuck, it took every fiber of your being not to jump his bones right then and there. But you kept your composure, letting the man trace gentle shapes across your skin with his thumb. And none of your friends were the wiser.

You hadn’t even realized you had fallen asleep until you felt movement next to you, bringing you back to reality. You had dozed off on Joe’s shoulder, who himself had fallen asleep as well, his hand still resting on your thigh. The movement turned out to be Kayla getting up to move to her bed, and you quickly noticed most of the room had emptied out. You turned towards the slumbering Joe and smiled. God, he was even gorgeous while he was sleeping. You reached up and gently caressed his stubble.

“Hey, you,” you said softly, trying not to startle him. His eyes blinked rapidly a few times as he took in his surroundings before settling on you and smiling.

“Hey, beautiful,” he replied, sending instant heat to your cheeks. How he managed to continue to fluster you, you’d never know. You pinched his cheek, causing him to crinkle his face at the action.

“Bedtime?”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

You stood up first, offering a hand to Joe and yanking him to his feet. He glanced around the room for a few moments, almost as if he was looking for something or someone, and you watched him curiously. When his eyes met yours again, in an instant he slid his arm around you and pulled you into a bruising kiss.

You kissed him back eagerly, a soft moan vibrating through your throat as you slid your hands up his chest. But as fast as he had initiated the kiss he pulled away, staring at you intensely for a moment.

“Walk with me,” he said before grabbing his phone and heading towards the front door. Confused and a tad flustered from the kiss, you followed him obediently, grabbing your own phone and sliding on a pair of flip flops.

Instead of turning left and heading towards his own condo, he turned right and pushed open the door to the stairwell. You had no idea where he was leading you, but of course you were going to follow him. You were right on his heels as he climbed up the steps, passing the other floors of the condo building before leading you to the last door at the top of the staircase, with red letters painted on it: ROOF ACCESS. With a smirk, he opened the door and gestured through it.

“After you.”

Eyeing him with a suspicious look, you passed through the door and out into the night. The warm breeze of the evening hit your skin and you relaxed instantly. You floated over to the railing at the edge of the roof and leaned on it, looking out onto the street below. The city was gorgeous and so full of life. The sounds of cars passing and people enjoying the nightlife echoed below you. You couldn’t help but smile. Joe leaned on the railing right next to you.

“I’m not having sex with you on a dirty rooftop, if that’s what you’re thinking,” you announced, breaking the silence. Joe let out a hearty laugh before placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“As much as I would like to eventually have my way with you,” he replied, sending a chill down your spine at the thought. “I just wanted to talk.”

You turned to look at Joe fully. He truly was breathtaking. The glow of the city lights reflected on his face, painting his skin in blues and pinks and yellows. You wanted to frame the image of him, standing there looking at you like you put the moon in the sky.

“I’ve got two more full days here before I head home,” he said, shattering the illusion. You turned to face the city once again and let out a sigh. Must he bring reality into this? Couldn’t he just be like you and enjoy the moment? Did he have to be so smart and responsible?

“I know,” you answered. “Is that what you brought me up here to tell me?” You raised an eyebrow as you eyed the man next to you. He chuckled at your question.

“I wanted to see...I wanted to ask you…” he paused, trying to find the words. “What happens once I go home? To us?”

You felt your chest tighten. It made your heart soar and break simultaneously. It made you breathe a sigh of relief that he appeared to be feeling the same way you did. He was worried what the future brought because he wanted you, too.

But honestly, you had been dreading this conversation. Not because you knew what you had to say and you didn’t want to say it. No, you weren’t looking forward to this talk because you had no idea what to say. You didn’t want this to end. The selfish part of you wanted to do this for real, to make him yours and let him claim you as his. But long distance was complicated and messy. You had done it before and it had ended poorly, and that guy had only lived an hour from you. Joe lived over 700 miles away. A two-hour plane trip. A fucking fourteen-hour car ride. That was the kind of relationship that took a lot of work.

And to make that commitment to someone you had only just started something with? It seemed crazy. Unrealistic.

But to say goodbye and end whatever the two of you were doing outright? It hurt to think about.

However there was always the third option: decide not to decide.

“How about this?” you began, immediately capturing Joe’s attention. “How about we enjoy ourselves the next two days? And then when you go home, we can just…take it a day at a time. We don’t make any commitments but we don’t end things altogether. We just...see where the wind takes us.”

Joe studied you for a moment, as if he was trying to get a read on you. Trying to see if there was anything underlying in your proposal. He took a step forward and reached for you, his hands settling on the exposed skin just above your shorts. You instinctively let your arms wrap around his torso as well, pulling him as close to you as you could.

“Sounds like a plan,” he practically whispered before placing a kiss on your forehead. You leaned up and placed a hand on his cheek, bringing his lips to yours.

Something about this kiss was different. While most of your other kisses had been fiery and passionate, exchanged in the heat of the moment, this one was slow and delicate. Like you were taking your time and memorizing the feeling of each other’s lips, knowing you had a finite number of kisses remaining.

You didn’t stay too much longer on the roof, the pair of you completely exhausted. As you both made your way back to the door to the building, Joe’s hand found yours, interlacing his fingers and squeezing. He held your hand all the way back down the stairs to your floor. As you approached the door to your condo, he brought your hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Goodnight.”

You quietly slipped into the condo, knowing that everyone was probably asleep. As you collapsed on your bed, the events of the past three days ran through your head like a highlight reel. As each memory played back, you couldn’t help but think about Joe. In just three days he had woven his way into your life like no one else had before. And you couldn’t be happier.

You drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face, thinking of nothing but the beautiful man two doors down. And you couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about you, too.

✧✧✧

Not waking up with a hangover was a marvelous thing. For the first time since the week began, you actually felt refreshed and ready to conquer the day.

But you were also insanely horny.

Not only had Joe invaded your life in the best way possible (you weren’t complaining by any means), but last night he had also invaded your dreams. Before you woke up, you had been enjoying an extremely arousing vision where Joe’s face had taken up permanent residence between your thighs.

And now you were determined to make that reality.

As you showered and got ready for the day, you wracked your brain for a way to get him alone without the worry of your friends interrupting you. You were exiting the bathroom, headed downstairs to hear what the plan was for the day, when you were greeted with a series of loud cheers.

“HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, MOTHER FUCKERS!” Matt’s booming voice rang out throughout the entire condo. You chuckled as you descended the stairs into the living room.

“Excited are we?” you jested as you plopped down on the couch.

“Fuck yeah! Let’s blow some shit up tonight!” Nick added, pumping his first into the air.

“Considering we’re in the middle of the city, I think we should just let the experts take care of the fireworks,” Kayla countered with a laugh as she took the seat next to you.

“So do we have a gameplan for the day?” you asked as you wrapped your arms around Kayla and pulled her against your chest.

“I was thinking we could go for a swim in the river and then just hang out in the park for the fireworks show later,” Dan replied with a shrug, trying to play it casual as if he hadn’t been planning it all week. The friends that had gathered in the living room all sounded their agreements. You liked the idea yourself until you realized something: you hadn’t packed your bathing suit.

“I’d love to join you guys,” you commented. “But I will have to run up to my apartment to grab my swimsuit.”

And that’s when it clicked. Your apartment. You had a perfectly empty apartment a couple of miles north of the city. That’s how you were going to get your privacy with Joe.

“No worries, we probably won’t be heading there for a few hours,” Dan responded, pulling you from your thoughts. With a nod, you pulled out your phone to shoot Joe a text.

You: Want to go on a short adventure?

His reply was almost instant.

Joe: Should I be afraid?

You: Not at all, haha. I need to run up to my apartment to grab my bathing suit for today. My EMPTY apartment...if you catch my drift.

Joe: Drift definitely caught. I’m on my way over to you.

You took a deep breath, trying to contain your excitement. Almost seconds later there was a knock on the front door.

“I’ll get it!” you shouted, way too enthusiastically, completely dropping your attempt to be casual. You yanked the door open to reveal the source of your sexual frustration that morning. He greeted you with a chaste kiss before stepping inside to say hello to the rest of the condo inhabitants. You snatched up your purse, keys, and phone before sliding on your flip flops and grabbing Joe by the wrist.

“We’ll see you guys in an hour or so!” you called over your shoulder as you practically dragged Joe out the door, eager to get on with the day’s events. You let Joe’s arm go but continued to head down the hallway quickly before being pushed against the wall, letting out an “oof” as Joe’s body covered yours.

“You seem to be in a hurry,” he commented, his hands sliding down your sides before settling on your hips. “Got somewhere you need to be?” You keened into his touch as flashes of last night’s dream played across your mind.

“Just want to get you alone,” you murmured, running your fingernails across his shoulder blades. Your lips connected as he pressed his body firmly against yours. “You trying to get me all riled up? Because I’m already at that point.”

“Oh yeah?” he mumbled into the sensitive skin of your neck. “Already?”

“Might have had a dream about you last night,” you sighed as you slid your hands around his neck to land on his chest. You felt him groan as he pressed his forehead to your chest.

“Okay, as soon as we get to your apartment, you are explaining the dream in detail,” he stated as he pulled away. You chuckled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers with his and leading him towards the parking garage.

Before you knew it the two of you were flying down the highway in your car with the windows rolled down, blasting music and singing along. You glanced over at Joe, still amazed at the man’s effortless beauty. He grinned back at you, and you felt that familiar tickle in your stomach. You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt this way about a person.

The song changed and you couldn’t help but smile as one of your favorite songs ever began to play.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere /

With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey /

She acts like summer and walks like rain /

Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey /

Since the return of her stay on the moon /

She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey /

Hey, hey /

But tell me did you sail across the sun /

Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded /

And that heaven is overrated? /

Tell me did you fall from a shooting star /

One without a permanent scar /

And did you miss me while you were /

looking for yourself out there? /

You sang along as you drove, feeling unafraid to belt out the lyrics. While other people sometimes made you feel self-conscious, Joe’s presence simply calmed you, letting you be yourself, free from judgment. You finished singing the pop song just as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building.

“I could listen to you sing for hours,” Joe commented as he climbed out of your car. You felt your cheeks warm once again.

“You flatter me,” you replied as you joined him on the other side of the car. You grabbed his hand once again before the two of you headed into your building and down the hall.

“So your roommate won’t be home?” Joe clarified as you both made your way towards your apartment door.

“Nah, she’s always at her boyfriend’s,” you explained as you came to a stop in front of your door, sliding your key into the lock. “Especially since today is the Fourth--”

Your words faded away as you opened your apartment door to reveal your roommate, her boyfriend, and two older adults sitting in the living room. Fuck.

“Oh hey!” your roommate greeted. You and Joe awkwardly entered the small apartment, fake smiles plastered on your faces.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to be home!” you stated, trying to hide your annoyance at the situation. The one time you needed the apartment to yourself, she’s home. With guests.

“Oh yeah, my parents are in town for the holiday, and we’re just hanging out here for a little bit before we head to the park to watch fireworks,” she explained, gesturing to the others seated around the room who each waved at you. You gave a quick wave in response before remembering you had Joe next to you.

“Very cool,” you responded awkwardly as you started to make your way towards your bedroom. “Um, this is my friend, Joe.” Joe followed behind you, giving the group a quick wave as well. The group let out a chorus of greetings as the two of you finally closed the distance to your bedroom door.

You pulled Joe inside and closed the door, ending the awkward exchange.

“Well, so much for privacy,” you groaned, plopping down on your bed and throwing an arm across your eyes. When Joe didn’t respond after a few moments, you leaned up on your elbows to see Joe wandering around your room, a slight smile on his face. “What are you doing?”

“A person’s bedroom can tell you a lot about that person,” he replied before his eyes met yours. “I’m learning all I can about you.” You couldn’t help but mirror his smile. You sat up on the bed, reaching your arms out and making grabby hands at him. All you could think about was just touching him. He chuckled and stepped towards you, allowing you to pull him towards you.

“My diabolical plan to fuck you senseless in my apartment has failed,” you commented, your voice low as you ran your hands up and down his sides. Joe let out a long hum as he leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, his hands sliding up your thighs. You held back a whimper at his touch. Fuck, you were so fucking horny and you just needed this man more than anything.

“What if we’re just really quiet?” he proposed, his voice thick with want. You groaned as his fingers strayed closer and closer to the place you wanted them.

“I don’t know if I’m capable of being quiet,” you countered. “Besides, these walls are paper thin. I would know. My roommate and her boyfriend are not as quiet as they think they are.” You cringed at the memory, the night that made you add “ear plugs” to your next shopping list. “They did say they were heading to the park. Maybe we can just wait it out?”

“Fine by me.”

So you waited. The two of you chatted, you sharing stories about objects displayed in your room and him laughing along to those stories. You mutually decided to keep your hands to yourselves for the time being, wordlessly agreeing that it would only lead to more sexual tension. You both kept your ears open to the sounds coming from the living room, hoping to hear a shuffle of feet and a door closing to signal that you were alone.

But an hour later, laughter and idle chatter still sounded from the other side of the wall, leaving you and Joe bored, hungry, and sexually frustrated.

“Well, I have no idea when these people are gonna leave,” you suddenly announced. “So I think I should just grab my bathing suit and we can go grab some food before we head back downtown.” Joe let out a sigh next to you.

“I think that’s probably a good idea,” he agreed. You leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before pushing yourself off of the bed. You yanked open a drawer from your dresser and pulled out the first bathing suit you saw.

“Are you really planning on getting undressed and putting that suit on right now, in front of me, and expecting me not to jump your bones?” Joe asked incredulously, still sprawled across your mattress. You turned to face him with a giggle.

“I would never be that cruel,” you countered before heading into your bathroom and closing the door behind you. You let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You couldn’t remember another time where you had this much sexual tension with someone before. You cursed the universe for presenting you with this beautiful, funny, charming man but not letting you have him the way you wanted.

After pulling on your bikini and throwing your street clothes on top of it, you rejoined Joe in your bedroom, finding him tapping away at his phone. He glanced up at your entrance and that familiar, contagious smile of his appeared.

“Shall we?”

The two of your made your awkward exit from the apartment, you squeaking out a “see ya” to your roommate and her company. You piled back into your car and made your way towards your favorite burger joint that happened to be halfway between your apartment and the downtown condo. The pair of you had realized you hadn’t eaten at all that day and were tearing into your burgers and fries when your phone buzzed.

Kayla: we’re heading over to the river now, so you guys can just meet us there

You replied with a thumbs up emoji and went back to devouring your lunch.

“Who was that?” Joe asked, his voice muffled by the fries he had stuffed into his mouth.

“Kayla,” you replied quickly, not wanting to pause eating for too long. “She said they’re all headed to the river, so we can just go straight there instead of back to the condo.” Joe finally swallowed and reached for his soda.

“Well I don’t have my suit with me, so we have to go back to my condo anyway…”

Joe trailed off as you processed his statement. Then, as if your brains were connected, you both suddenly came to the same realization.

Everyone was already at the river. That meant your condo was empty.

Fuck. Yes.

Your eyes widened as you looked across the table at Joe. His eyes had glazed over and his mouth hung open slightly. You knew that look. It was the same look he had given you when the two of you almost had sex the day before. You let out a deep breath before shooting Joe a quick wink.

“Well,” you said, breaking the silence. “I guess we better finish up and head back to the condos.”

The two of you finished your meals unhealthily fast and quickly climbed back into your car. The ride was brimming with anticipation, made worse by Joe making the tortuous decision to run his hand up and down your thigh as you drove.

By the time the pair of you burst through the condo front door, you were already attached to each other, Joe’s hands gripping your hips and your arms looped around his neck. Joe practically flung you onto your tiny bed before pouncing on top of you, his lips devouring yours. You slid a hand to his chest and gently pushed him away.

“Wait,” you said breathlessly. “Let’s make sure we’re actually alone.” Joe nodded before leaning back down to press a quick peck to your cheek.

“Good idea.”

The two of you split up, you taking the upstairs and him downstairs, searching for any signs that one of your friends was still lingering in the condo somewhere. After not finding a single trace of anyone upstairs, you smirked.

Finally. Fucking privacy.

“We’re clear up here,” you called out as you made your way back down the steps.

“Same here,” Joe responded as you turned the corner and met his gaze. You slowly walked towards him, his eyes watching you intently, waiting to see what you would do next. Your eyes fell to his chest as you gently ran both of your hands across the expanse of his cotton t-shirt. Your touches traveled up towards his neck before finally resting your hands on the side of his face.

“Fuck me, Joe,” you whispered before crashing your lips to his.

It was like a switch had been flipped. The two of you clawed at each other as your lips connected again, all passion and tongue. You practically floated back over to the bed, yanking Joe down on top of you.

Hands yanked at t-shirts and fingers pulled at zippers, and after getting momentarily caught in the straps of your bikini top, the two of you were finally naked, latching onto each other like you couldn’t bear to spend a moment not touching. Joe’s one hand cupped your jaw as he devoured your mouth, his other hand lighting a fiery trail of touches down your ribs, your hip, your thigh. While his touches were slow, like he was trying to memorize your curves, your touches were desperate and needy, running your hands along the expanse of his back before circling his neck. You just couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stop touching him. The feeling of his bare skin against yours was ecstasy, setting your soul aflame. His long fingers found your folds, wet and aching to be massaged. A deep groan vibrated through his chest as he buried his head into your shoulder.

“Fuck, you’re fucking soaked,” Joe mumbled against your skin, his fingers continuing their exploration. You whimpered in response, completely melting against his ministrations. He painted your pussy with your own juices before centering in on the bundle of nerves that had been longing for his attention. The weight of his body kept your hips pinned as he worked, playing your body like a finely-tuned instrument; each knead of his thumb making you sing, filling the room with moans and whines. Two fingers slid into you with ease as his mouth worked to decorate your collarbone with dark marks, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin.

You were at his mercy, left to simply tug at his auburn locks and dig your nails into his back. The man stroked a fire in your belly, the pressure in your core building as every cell of your body cried out with pleasure. Your thoughts were foggy, but the same question from the first night plagued your mind once again: had it ever been this good before? How was it possible that one man had this innate power to flood your heart, your mind, your body with every good feeling in the world?

The edge drew nearer and nearer as Joe’s nimble fingers caressed and rubbed in all the right places. His breath against your neck, his hand gripping your shoulder -- the man was everywhere and you wanted nothing more than to drown in him.

You came with a yell, the noise from deep in your chest escaping like it had been trapped inside. Your walls clenched around those long fingers of his and your nails left little half-moons in his pale flesh, hips bucking hard against his hand. You hadn’t even realized you had squeezed your eyes shut until they shot open, eyesight blurry as rush after rush of bliss racked through your body. Your vision cleared, revealing two piercing amber eyes watching with you with intensity.

Jaw slack and chest heaving, Joe slowly eased his fingers out of you, pushing himself onto his knees, your thighs still trapped beneath him.

“That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen,” he growled, bottom lip rolling between his teeth. You let out a pleasant hum.

“You should probably make me do it again,” you countered with a weary smirk as you pushed yourself onto your elbows. You took the opportunity to shamelessly ogle the man straddling you, your eyes tracing a path down his chest to his soft belly before landing on his cock, hard and pink in his hand. Your gaze shot back up to Joe’s face, his eyes hooded as he stared back at you, leisurely pumping himself. “As sexy as you look right now, I’m going to need you to put that in me ASAP. I don’t even want to entertain the notion of us being interrupted again.”

With a classic Joe grin, the man leaned over to reach his discarded shorts, pulling a condom from his pocket. He rolled it on, the smirk never leaving his face as he felt you watching him. You were entranced by him, the way the muscles in his arm flexed as he fisted himself, the way he bit down on his lip, the way he eyed your body with hunger.

He leaned over you, steadying himself on his elbow while he lined himself up. Your hands found his biceps again, gripping hard as sheathed himself inside of you, twin moans reverberating throughout the condo. Pausing only for a moment to glance down at you, Joe gripped your thigh, hooking it around his hip before giving an experimental thrust.

Your whimper and the way you latched onto him harder must have given him the confirmation he needed. He began to move, grinding deep inside you, impaling you on his cock with each pump of his hips. His grunts mixed with your cries of pleasure as you suffocated in everything that was Joe. Your fingers curled against his scalp as you yanked him down to meet your lips, wanting him to take your mouth, too. He tasted like Dr Pepper and smelled like summer, and you willed yourself to memorize every detail because deep down you knew you were lucky to have this, to have him.

For what felt like hours, the two of you moved as one, clinging to each other with the ferocity of two people who were deprived of one another for far too long. Joe let go of your thigh, leaving soft blue spots behind before planting his palm flat above your shoulder. The new position drove his cock into you deeper and faster and you couldn’t help but cry out. Your eyes bore into his as he pounded into you, his own groans like music to your ears. You were nearing the edge once again, your own hips meeting his with more and more desperation.

“Joe,” you breathed out, the single syllable all you were capable of producing. He understood though, dropping back to his elbow and reaching between the two of you in the same motion. His thumb connected with your clit with a perfectly timed thrust and then...euphoria.

Loudly and roughly, you came, walls tensing around him like a vice. You thrashed against him while you experienced wave after wave of pure elation, but his pace never slowed. His thumb continued to work at you as his hips pistoned against yours. You weakly swiped at his hand to stop his strokes against your overworked bundle of nerves and he finally relented, his own thrusts becoming sloppier.

With a roaring groan, his cock throbbed inside of you while his hips stilled, his body going rigid above you. You watched his face in awe as he lost himself in his own pleasure, etching the image into your brain. And with a deep breath, he collapsed into you, and you reveled in the feeling of his bare chest pressing against yours.

The condo echoed with the sounds of heavy panting as you both came down from your shared high. Joe’s head nestled into the crook of your neck and you instinctively brought a hand up to run your fingers through his locks.

“That was...well worth the wait,” Joe mumbled into your skin, causing you to chuckle in response. Your laugh shook both of your trembling bodies and suddenly you were reminded that he was still inside you.

“Well, it would have been nice to have been able to do that all week,” you countered. You felt Joe smile against your neck before he pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at you.

“To be fair, we did try,” he argued with a grin. That sent you both into a fit of giggles, and you couldn’t help but shake your head at the ridiculous situation the two of you had found yourselves in the day before...and earlier that day. You laid there in each other’s nude embrace for a few moments longer, soaking up the feeling, exchanging soft caresses and gentle kisses. You both knew that it was very likely that you wouldn’t find yourselves in this position again. At least, not in the near future.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you’re crushing me,” you finally said after another minute. Joe let out a mock scoff before slowly easing himself out of you, both of you wincing at the sensation. He came to a stand next to the bed, politely offering a hand to you. You smiled and let him pull you to your feet and into his arms. His lips were heavenly against yours, the soft and slow kiss a stark contrast to the ones that had been exchanged during your escapade.

“Not to ruin this wonderful moment,” Joe murmured against your lips, “but we should probably start making our way to the river.” You groaned. He was right, annoyingly so. It had now been a few hours since you originally left to get your suit. You were both supposed to be spending time with all of your friends, not just each other, no matter how much you wanted to.

You both got yourselves cleaned up and dressed before heading down the hall to retrieve Joe’s swim trunks. Your hand twitched as you instinctively felt the need to reach for Joe’s hand, but you opted against it, suddenly feeling sheepish. Even though the two of you had held hands several times already, and the man had been buried inside you mere minutes ago, holding his hand right then seemed too...intimate all of a sudden.

Joe changed and gathered towels for the two of you before you headed downstairs, out onto the bustling street, and down towards the park, feeling different.

✧✧✧

You didn’t even get a chance to swim in the river.

After all of the effort on your part, the group had decided they were done with swimming and headed to grab some food by the time you made it to the park. You and Joe linked up with Matt and Dan, both sporting their usual snow cones, and found a spot in the grass to lay out your towels and wait for the rest of the group to arrive.

Things were weird right away. You noticed it immediately. As your friends started to trickle over, they greeted you with muted smiles and limited words. Something was brewing, and you seemed to be the only one who didn’t know what it was. Joe, on the other hand, seemed totally unaware, as he conversed with your gaggle of friends as they all got settled on their towels and blankets.

You were exhausted by how much your head was swimming. Most of the week, all you could think about was Joe. You overthought everything you said to him, every time you two touched, every time he glanced your way. You were so caught up in thinking about what to do with this new spark in your life. You practically didn’t have any brain power left to even ponder why everyone was acting so weird around you.

Dan, in his big brother wisdom, seemed to sense your confusion and squatted next to you.

“You should talk to Kayla,” was all he offered before standing up and returning to his spot next to Herbie. You furrowed your brows in confusion. Had you done something to Kayla?

You got your answer almost instantly as the petite brunette in question stomped over to your growing group, giving you a quick glare before plopping down a few towels in front of you beside Nick.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Classic Kayla. If she had a problem with you, she should be the one to tell you what it was. But this was a textbook move for her. Make it abundantly clear she’s upset but not be grown up enough to confront you about it. You sighed and glanced at the back of her head in front of you.

You were suddenly overcome with a sense of loneliness. Joe was a few blankets away, wooing the small crowd with his endless charm and wit, not even paying you any mind. Dan had decided that you were only worth a single sentence explanation before separating himself. And now your closest friend, your confidant, your wifey, was giving you the cold shoulder.

As the sun began to set and the crowd in the park grew around you, you gazed at Joe. He was animatedly telling some story to Rob and your heart panged at the sight. You wanted nothing more than to burrow yourself into his side, to feel his arms around you. Despite your anxiety about what was going to happen once Joe left, you felt safe and comfortable with him.

You continued to stare at him longingly, feeling almost jealous of Rob for having Joe’s attention. You knew you were being irrational; you had spent hours alone with Joe today. It was only fair that everyone else got to spend time with him now. But the selfish part of you wanted him all to yourself.

But he wasn’t yours. Not officially. That was the deal.

You were roused from your thoughts by fireworks exploding above you. It was all too overwhelming. The mobs of people decorating the park. The eruptions in the sky. Dan. Kayla. Joe. The past few days had been a roller coaster full of ups and downs, and it was as if it was finally catching up to you.

You felt a tear escape. Shouldn’t you be happy? You were surrounded by friends, you were smack in the middle of a whirlwind romance. The weather was amazing and you hadn’t had to think about work or real life in days.

So why were you crying? How was it possible to feel so alone when you were completely surrounded?

You stubbornly wiped at your face, annoyed with yourself. You couldn’t even focus on the colorful lights across the evening sky, too caught up in your own bullshit to appreciate it.

Then you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“She’s upset that we ditched the group for so long,” Joe said, loud enough for you to hear over the crashes and bangs but low enough to keep it between the two of you. You didn’t look at him, even as he settled next to you and began to trace soft circles on your knee. “Herbie told me.” You pondered his words, shaking your head in confusion. “Her view is that this week is about spending time with all of us together. So the two of us disappearing for hours and hours just to spend time with each other was a lame move in her eyes.” He paused, most likely hoping for a response from you, but you didn’t say a word, continuing to be annoyed at yourself for crying.

“I get it to a point,” Joe continued. Fuck, you thought, this is the part where he says he regrets everything. You winced, silently hoping he’d let you down easy. “But today was like...the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

You finally looked at him and were greeted with Joe’s soft smile. He wove his fingers with yours and placed a kiss to your knuckles, and it was as if he kissed away every anxiety in your body. You instantly relaxed at the gesture, and just like that, you were back.

“You’re just saying that because you got laid,” you jested, nudging him with your elbow.

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Shut up.”

You pulled him in for a kiss, wordlessly thanking him for just...everything. For making the past few days incredible. For making you laugh. For giving you several orgasms. For just being him. For just being Joe.

Your lips moved against his passionately as you poured every emotion you were feeling into the kiss. Every giddy smile that tugged at your lips when he flirted with you. Every shiver down your spine each time his fingers brushed your skin. Every moment of feeling seen and adored.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, foreheads pressed together. You couldn’t bring yourself to tear your gaze away from those chestnut eyes that seemed to stare right into your soul. Who gives a shit about fireworks when the most beautiful thing in the world was right in front of you?

The next hour passed by in a blur. You were too caught up in the feeling of Joe’s body pressed against your side, the feeling of his thumb caressing the back of your hand, the feeling of your shoulders brushing against each other’s as you walked back towards the condo. You could hear the rambling conversations of your friends around you, but they sounded miles away.

By the time you stumbled back into the condo, you were exhausted. It had been a long day, and you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up into Joe’s arms and pass out. It seemed like everyone was on a similar wavelength as you noticed the condo begin to settle down a lot earlier than usual. The awkwardness from the park had seemingly vanished for the most part; you assumed it was because everyone who knew why Kayla was upset with you had either forgotten about it or didn’t care themselves.

After grabbing a cup of water and heading back towards your bed to join Joe, you found he was not alone.

“We should talk,” Kayla stated, glaring at you. Your eyes immediately found Joe’s, his face offering nothing but sympathy.

He said goodnight with a chaste kiss to your temple and a squeeze of your hand before disappearing through the front door, leaving you alone with the angry brunette perched on the edge of your bed.

“I guess you’re done giving me the silent treatment?” you accused, dropping onto the bed and stretching out your legs behind her.

“Well I mean considering you ditched us all for like five hours today, I assumed you didn’t want to talk to me,” she countered. You rolled your eyes.

“Come on,” you grumbled, crossing your arms. “Can we be fucking adults here? Why is it so bad that Joe and I spent some time alone today? I mean you were the one who suggested I hook up with him in the first place--”

“It was a joke! I didn’t think you’d actually take me seriously! And now…” she trailed off. You furrowed your brow as you waited for her to continue. She turned to you, a pained look on her face as if she was dreading the words she was about to say. “I’m worried about whatever this is turning into.”

“What what is turning into?” you questioned, your brows remaining knitted together, trying to decipher what she was trying to say.

“You and Joe.”

Her confession did nothing to ease your confusion, so you simply sat there and stared at her, silently asking for further explanation.

“It just seems like...with the way you’re acting...I don’t know. It just seems a lot more serious than a quick fling.”

You pondered her words. There was definitely a truth to them; the status of your...connection with Joe was practically all you could think about. It was definitely beyond just a simple fling. But Kayla’s concern about it just confused you even more. It took several moments for you to finally respond.

“Are you...are you jealous?” You almost felt bad asking. Kayla had a long-term boyfriend back home. He hadn’t been able to get the time off from work to join the group during the yearly get-together this time. But her actions and words gave off an air of jealousy. Hell, she had said it herself: she was mad that you had spent time with Joe away from everyone else.

“No, not at all,” she confirmed, shaking her head. “I’m...I’m just concerned that this isn’t going to end well. One or both of you are going to get hurt.”

Of course you had entertained that possibility. Fuck, you’d spent most of the week overanalyzing everything about the situation. As hard as you were trying to maintain that this thing with Joe was casual, that you were gonna take it a day at a time, all it took was his hundred-watt smile to make you melt. This thing was what, five days old? But you had to face it, you had it bad.

But at the end of the day, if this whole thing was a mistake, it was your mistake to make.

You let out a sigh, your frustration with Kayla fading away.

“I appreciate you worrying about me,” you admitted, scooting closer to her on the bed, signaling you were backing down. “But Joe and I have talked about it. We’re not jumping into this head first. We’re gonna take it a day at a time.”

Her face revealed she wasn’t convinced. She eyed you warily, looking for something, you weren’t sure what.

“Just...be careful, okay?” she insisted, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. “You know I love you a lot.” The frustrated frown that had taken up residence on your face ebbed away and you offered a soft smile.

“I love you too, wifey.”

✧✧✧

You were roused from your peaceful sleep by a buzzing under your head. With a groan, you flopped onto your stomach, pulling the vibrating phone out from under your pillow, revealing your boss’s name in big bold letters.

“Aaron, it’s eight in the morning, dude,” you grumbled into the phone.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m desperate. I know you’re supposed to be off today, but is there any way you can close tonight? Both of the other managers called out with the flu.”

You let out another groan, making sure your boss knew exactly how grumpy you were. Of course you would have to go into work. The last few days had been too good and the universe needed to balance itself out. After a long silence, you finally relented, knowing you really didn’t have a choice.

“I’ll be there at two.”

“Oh my god, thank you! I owe you lunch or something! Thank you so much.”

After hanging up with your boss, you let out another loud groan, knowing you were going to have to break the news to your friends. And Joe.

Fuck. You were gonna lose your last day with Joe.

You waited until the rest of the condo was up and moving, or at least relatively close, before letting them know, collecting your ragtag group of friends, Joe included, into the condo living room to break the news. Everyone was disappointed, as you expected, especially at the fact that logistically, you wouldn’t be able to come back to the condo after work, as you were supposed to work an early shift the next day. When your eyes landed on Joe, instead of disappointment, you were met with what could only be described as a focused glare.

As your gaggle of friends debated where they were going to go for lunch, you moved towards him, his concentrated gaze watching your movements.

“You look like you’re scheming, Mazzello,” you commented as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His arms looped around your waist, the two of you fitting together like puzzle pieces.

“What if when you leave for work, the two of us didn’t have to say our goodbyes yet?”

The plan was simple. The second you were off work, Joe would Uber up to your apartment where he’d stay with you before you would take him to the airport for his ungodly early flight. You’d be able to have a few more hours together before reality would kick in and the past few days of absolute joy would come to an end.

You were passed around the room as each one of your friends pulled you in for a hug, exchanging words of love and about how next year couldn’t come fast enough.

Joe helped you finish packing your suitcase and walked you to the parking garage, leaving you with a passionate kiss and a strong internal battle over whether or not to call your boss and let him know you changed your mind.

But instead you drove yourself home, throwing on some more work-appropriate garb and heading down the street to rejoin the world of retail.

✧✧✧

It didn’t feel like it was possible for time to pass so slowly. But each second was like a minute, each minute an hour. Customers were grinding your gears more so than normal. The associates seemed determined to anything except their jobs. It was oddly busy for a weeknight, meaning more to straighten up and a longer shift. And all you could think about was the night you had ahead of you the second you clocked out.

You could barely concentrate as you counted the night’s deposit. You barely heard the associates wishing you a good night as you locked up the door, your entire focus centered on determinedly tapping away at your phone as you walked towards your apartment.

You: FREEDOM

Joe: I’m on my way.

Two minutes later, you arrived at your apartment to find it completely empty and you sighed in relief. Another fifteen agonizing minutes later, you yanked Joe through your front door, his suitcase falling to the ground behind him. You kissed him as if you hadn’t seen him in days, instead of only a few hours. He kissed you back just as hungrily, holding you impossibly close.

Joe eventually collected his forgotten suitcase and the two of you settled into your bed, cuddling close as you recounted your stressful workday. He caressed your back and patiently listened while you complained, shaking his head lovingly at your overdramatic retellings of the events of your night. You ran your fingers through his hair as he told you about his day, telling you about the condo’s shenanigans while trying not to make you upset for missing out. At this point you didn’t care. You had Joe in your arms right then and that’s all that mattered to you.

After your third yawn, Joe suggested the two of you attempt to get some sleep before your early alarm would go off, signaling the end of your slowly dwindling time together. You burrowed under the covers as Joe spooned up behind you, his arm protectively wrapping around your middle. He whispered a soft goodnight into your ear, and as soon as you relaxed into his embrace, you were out like a light.

Somewhere in your dreaming you noticed something. There was a gentle tickle against your neck and shoulders. It was soft and you relaxed into the touch as if you were afraid it would disappear. You slowly began to come to and as your mind became more clear, it suddenly registered that the pleasant touch was Joe’s lips against your skin. You let out a soft moan as you stretched, arching into his kisses.

“We have a half hour until we have to leave,” Joe mumbled into your hair, his hands sliding up to caress your ribs now that he knew you were awake. You hummed in response, immediately understanding what he was saying. You gave your hips an experimental roll backwards against him, meeting with his rigid cock behind you and earning a growl in your ear.

In retrospect, it was silly of the two of you to wear clothes to bed, knowing full well you’d be stripped of them at some point. Clumsily and sleepily, the two of you shed each other of your sleepwear, the need to feel each other’s skin driving your actions. His lips found yours in the dark, greedily licking into your mouth like a starved man. His grip on you was like a vice as he rolled his hips against yours, his hard on trapped between your bellies. The pitch black of your room made everything more intense, it felt like that first night all over again. Joe was everywhere all at once, kissing you, stroking the heat between your thighs, massaging your breasts. When he thrust into you, locking his hips into place like he belonged there, you couldn’t help but whine. Every time was better than the last and you had a feeling this man was about to ruin you in the best way. No one was ever going to be able to bring you to pleasure like this ever again. The thought was both scary and exhilarating.

His large hands yanked you and pushed you where he pleased, and you gladly moved with him, his touch pulling nothing but pleasure. No matter what happened next, no matter what happened once the two of you got into your car and drove to the airport, you knew in this moment that you were his. You wanted to give yourself to him. You needed him to take you.

“Please, Joe,” you whimpered out. “Just fuckin’....use me.”

In an instant you were flipped on to your stomach and dragged to the edge of the bed, your feet hitting the floor, your body folded in half under Joe’s. He railed into you, groaning into your ear. You couldn’t make out the mumbled words against your skin, too lost in your own pleasure as he drove deeper and deeper inside you. You reached behind you to grip his wrists where his hands rested on your hips, holding on as if he’d disappear if you let go, as if this was nothing more than a dream.

You came with a loud moan, pleasure rushing through every cell in your body. Joe continued to impale you on his cock as you rode out your high, then with a strangled groan, he pulled out and panted your bare back with white streaks. He left you slumped over the bed, absolutely boneless and blissed out while he fumbled through your dark bathroom for a washcloth.

You let out a pleased hum as he cleaned you up, and again as he placed a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. You pushed yourself up on shaky legs, turning around and reaching for Joe instinctively. You knew you had minutes left and you wanted to make sure you were touching him at all times. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him, willing your brain to memorize every aspect of the moment, because you had no idea when or even if you’d be lucky enough to have him again. The softness of his lips, the way he pressed his chest against yours, the little noises he made as you pressed your lips to his neck. You etched it all into your brain before pulling back to gaze into his eyes.

“We better get going,” he said before pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. He smiled at you, but his eyes were sad, as if he regretted being the one to pull you both back to reality.

You threw your sleep clothes back on, uncaring of your appearance considering the sun wasn’t even up yet. You helped him make sure that he had all of his things, and then the two of you piled into your car for the last time.

You hummed along to your shuffling playlist as you drove down the empty highway, your car the only one for miles on account of the ungodly hour. One hand steered the car and the other held Joe’s hand tightly, your fingers woven together. No words were spoken; they weren’t needed. You both knew how you felt about each other. You both knew that this sucked. And you both were afraid of what was going to come next.

But you were in it together. Taking it one day at a time. That was the deal.

The song on the stereo changed to “Don’t You Forget About Me” as you passed the welcome sign for the airport, and you rolled your eyes at the spot-on song choice.

You slowed the car to a stop at the curb below the sign for Joe’s airline, hopping out to help him free his suitcase from your trunk. The two of you stared at each other for a few moments before Joe pulled you into a crushing embrace, tucking his head into your shoulder.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You were a bit choked up, unable to get words out, so you simply nodded, hoping to whatever higher power there was that his words would ring true.

You reluctantly let go of him and watched him with a smile as he wheeled his suitcase through the doors before you, throwing a glance over his shoulder to see you waving back at him.

It wasn’t until you were halfway home that you let yourself cry.

✧✧✧

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goose-books · 3 years

Photo

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

#max.txt #and that's a wrap!!! what a goddamn year.#okay. breath in. tags:#quark tag #third eye tag #(i think there are like. two posts in that one?)#amt tag #darkling tag #tmr tag #vvvid tag #wow that was a lot of text. if you read all this... [blows you a kiss] thank you!#max actually writes #year in review

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Photo

Title: snowbound pt 2 of 3

Theme: holiday party

Fandom / Character(s):Ben Solo/Kylo Ren x Earth!FemaleReader.

Warnings: Honestly, if you read the first part, you knwo already. I am not a medical professional, nor am I a hardcore Star Wars fangirl, merely a casual fan. There is no blood!tw here, but.. There is still an injury!tw, because he ain’t just gonna heal over night. Oh and if you can handle reading my own personal take on Ben Solo (his father’s son, fyi) then you’ll be okay with him being construed as OOC. If not, sorry? Pls don’t murder me?

Word Count: 4k. Shit. I got carried away again, didn’t I?

Okay, so here’s the thing... That first part really got me in the mood to write a follow up. So, here we are. Even if it’s the biggest flop on my entire goddamn blog, I got these ideas out of my head and... materialized somehow. This is my second daily entry for my bb @champbucks over on the @12daysofchristmas challenge blog...

OH YEAH.. for the sake of a timeline here.. This part takes place two and a half weeks later and part three will take part a day or so, maybe two, after part two. Trust me, this needed to be said.

Also, again.. I made the banner for this. Don’t steal or repost.

TAGGING:

@andie01 @helluvawriter and @kyleoreillysknee

@champbucks and @12daysofchristmas

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

“Are you even listening to me right now, Katie?”

My sister’s question and the annoyed tone she asked it in had me shifting my focus from watching Ben chop firewood down in the yard to at least making an honest attempt to keep up with our conversation. I rolled my eyes when I heard her annoyed sigh.

It took everything in me to remind her that I wasn’t a child.

She’s always been like this, and frankly, it has everything to do with why I don’t try to see her more than once or twice a year, when she insists on all of us siblings gathering at Grandma’s cabin to have a family dinner and pictures.

“What?” I asked, gazing out the window already, distracted all over again. Ben had shed the black thermal shirt now, it was tied around his waist. Each swing of the axe sent muscular arms and broad shoulders to flexing and that had me more than a little mesmerized at the moment. I tried to tear my eyes away.

,, just like this morning when we had that awkward moment in the bathroom.” my mind taunted me and I sighed, turning away from the window and wandering into the kitchen. “I gotcha. You’ll do the turkey because I can’t cook. It’s already baking and you guys will all be here at 4:30. I need to have the oven turned on so things can finish. I’m not stupid. We do this every single year.”

“I’m doing you a huge favor, trust me, Katie. You wouldn’t be interested in all of this stuff. You’re barely listening to me now. Did you get the girls what I told you to get them both for Christmas?”

I glared at the phone in my hands, dragging one of them through my hair, tousling it a little. “You do realize I actually cook. And I’m pretty good at it. Oh and by the way… I’m not a child. I’d prefer it if you called me Katherine.”

She paused, hesitating. “I’d… really rather not risk the Christmas dinner on your hurt feelings. I’ll prepare most of it, you can do the potatoes!” she said it cheerfully, as if she were offering an olive branch.

She made it seem as if I were incapable of the simplest tasks. She probably didn’t even trust me to do the mashed potatoes either and that thought had me exhaling sharply in irritation as I pinched the bridge of my nose and grumbled to myself about her always doing this. And honestly, I didn’t care if she heard me or not.

The chopping stopped outside and I saw Ben walking from the pile of wood and up onto the porch. The door creaked open and Ben leaned in the doorway, filling it, gazing at me with a brow raised and arms folded over a bare chest.

I held up a finger and turned my attention back to the phone conversation with my older sister, pacing the area right in front of him as I did, lightly kicking at the little wooden table beside the door when she sighed again and for the fourth time, she reminded me calmly, “We’ll have it at 5. Like always.”

Ben tensed a little nearby and he eyed the phone in my hands as if he were picking up on my tension and current level of irritation. I mouthed to him, “It’s my nag of an older sister. The one you heard me talking to last Tuesday?”

He spoke up. “Katherine, I’ve gotten the firewood cut.” an amused smirk played at lips I’ve only dreamed of kissing practically every single night for the better part of two weeks now.

And almost immediately, I froze, biting my lip. Now, I wasn’t dumb. I knew that I’d have to explain Ben being here to my older sisters, but I just… I hadn’t bothered to do so as of yet.

“Is there someone there with you, Katie?”

“Again, it’s Katherine. And yes. My boyfriend, actually. He’s been staying out here with me. But you wouldn’t know, because you only call before Thanksgiving or Christmas and every night until we get together for those occasions. Now I’m gonna get off here. That oven’s not gonna turn itself on. Bye.” I said it pointedly and before my sister could ask anything else or bother me further, I disconnected the call.

I could feel the weight of his stare, I didn’t even have to be looking at him. And honestly, I didn’t dare.

Instead, I made my way into the kitchen, fuming out loud as I turned on the oven. Then again, as I rummaged through cabinets to find pots and pans and my grandma’s old recipe book.

I was so caught up in my tantrum, I didn’t hear Ben slip into the kitchen behind me.

I turned abruptly and found myself body to body with him.

“Why do you insist on putting everything out of your reach?” Ben smirked down at me as he stepped closer, reaching out to grab the pot that I’d been trying to get. He held it out to me and I swallowed hard. I tried to answer his question, but nothing was coming. All I could focus on was how close we stood. And of course, the way he was staring down at me right now.

I shrugged in lieu of an answer and put the pot to the side. For a few hot and heavy seconds, all either one of us really did was stare at the other. Finally, Ben spoke.

“Boyfriend, hm?”

,, think, think, oh my god, holy shit, think..” my brain was going into panic shutdown mode. I eyed him and gave a sheepish shrug. “It was the first thing I could think of. Trust me, my sister is NOT someone you want knowing exactly what happened to you. She’d probably break her neck to go report it to that damn base. And they’d be down here, breathing down everyone’s neck. It’s… Better this way.” I licked my lips, swallowing hard as I stared up at him intently.

He chuckled, shrugging himself as if it didn’t bother him at all. And why would it, you absolute goof? My brain immediately saw fit to remind me, this is just a ruse. When he’s healed completely and he’s got his ship going again, he’ll just leave.” and the thought had a pout forming. I was staring down at the old wooden floorboards.

Or at least I was until Ben’s fingers tucked beneath my chin and he made me look right up at him, that shit-eating smirk plastered on his face as he did so.

I’ve learned over the course of the past two and a half weeks… Ben’s a little on the cocky side sometimes. When he’s not being all broody and quiet. Or almost borderline teasing me on occasion.

“If it keeps this military you speak of out of my way, I’ll do it.”

And the exact second that his tongue trailed over his lips and he gave that smirk again, it was all I could do not to melt.

I digress, I will be a raw bundle of nerves before he’s all healed and he’s gotten his ship repaired.

We were doing it again, that thing where we wind up migrating closer together. Hips brushing against each other. I cleared my throat and glanced down at the walking cast that Doc had swapped him over to at the beginning of the week. “Excuse me, sir.. But I distinctly recall Doc saying to stay off your foot as much as possible.”

“And I would if I hadn’t seen that our heat source was about to run out, woman. How is someone so small still somehow so bossy?” Ben chuckled, that hint of teasing in his tone. I gulped and managed to grumble a little as I shrugged in answer to what he’d said.

“Go sit down.”

“You come sit down too. If she’s so determined to do it all herself, let her.”

I tensed a little and eyed him. Pretty sure my anger was written all over my face because he chuckled and eyed me, making himself taller. “You let her get to you.”

“I’ve always let her get to me.” I sighed, shrugging it off as best as I could. We were inching closer all over again and my breath caught in my throat as I felt his hand lingering at my hip. “Perhaps you shouldn’t.”

“Oh trust me. After you’ve had her around a few hours later tonight, you’ll see exactly why she gets so far under my skin.”

“Or maybe, she just needs someone who knows how to get under her skin.”

I laughed a little, eyeing him. “Oh, you’re confident now. But her royal naggingness has not arrived yet, either.. Neither have the other two, Margo and Cecilia.”

He chuckled, leaning down a little, his face almost well within kissing distance. “Did you just challenge me,hm?”

“Nope. Just know how crazy my older sisters tend to drive pretty much fucking everyone with their micromanagement and overall nosiness and assholery.” I dared to raise up a little, my face inching just a smidge closer to his. To a point where we lightly bumped noses. But Ben still wasn’t backing away. In fact… If I didn’t know better, I’d almost swear he moved just a little closer. And smirked down at me the entire time he was doing so.

The sound of a vehicle idling outside had me swallowing hard and turning a little, groaning almost the second I realized that apparently, Cecilia had decided to get here earlier than Margo or Dinah. “Well shit. This is a first.”

Ben’s gaze followed mine and he nodded towards Cecilia. Who as usual bought wine and a few presents and was wearing clothing that I honestly didn’t see how she wasn’t going to catch her death in.

“Margo and Dinah are gonna have a field day now. Dinah will have an absolute shit fit, because she wants us all to dress similar in the photos she’s gonna make us take.”

“Photos?” Ben questioned, a brow raised. I held up my cell phone and explained with a shrug, “It’s basically the same thing here as what you all do with your data pads back where you’re from, I’d think.”

The door was being knocked on and I caught eyes with Ben, taking a few shaky breaths. “And we’re up… Are you sure you’re okay with this, Ben?”

“You said this was the only way. And from what you’ve told me about this military, I’d really rather not have to deal with them. Make no mistake. I could, easily. But I’d rather not.” that cocky smirk was back and there was this look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite get a proper read on.

It had my knees feeling as if they were going to go all weak and rubbery on me.

XXX

My sisters had finally all gotten to the cabin. My nieces and my nephew were running all over the yard, with my sisters husbands outside to supervise.

Ben had kind of wandered outside himself, leaning against the side of the cabin, arms folded over his chest as he watched my nieces and nephew laughing and playing. And I felt bad for him because I knew exactly just how much of this kind of thing he didn’t have as a kid. His early years had been all about training. Control.

Dinah cleared her throat and I turned around, facing my sisters. “What?”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Cecilia mused, giving me a teasing grin. Of my three sisters, Cecilia was probably the one I got along with decently. So I knew when she said it, it was kind of her being wistful because she is a magnet… For all the worst guys.

“You’re always saying you’re too busy. And your internship takes up all your time.” Margo echoed, giving a suspicious gaze in Ben’s general direction. I bit my cheek to keep from snapping out an answer at her, because as usual, Margo seemed to be almost accusing me of something.

Dinah eyed Ben and then looked at me. “Where on Earth did you meet him? I mean… He doesn’t seem like your type, Katie.”

I shrugged. Why was it their business? Anyway, I’m at least 90 percent sure that a man like Ben can have his pick of women. It’s highly illogical to think he’d choose me to begin with. And I knew that. I guess that’s why it bothered me so much because my sisters questions since all of them arrived seemed to further imply and echo my own thoughts.

I cut my eyes at Dinah and gave her a dirty look. “It’s Katherine. And what the hell does that mean?”

“Well,I just mean that I always pictured the guy you wound up with a little more like… That guy from X files.. And not an actual hunk.”

“Fox Mulder is a hunk, by the way. But what the hell does that mean?”

“Are you sure you really know him? I mean it seems sudden.” Dinah went quiet, biting her cheek as she shuffled her feet and eyed me expectantly. “You never mentioned him and then Bam, today, you’re telling me you have a live in boyfriend.”

“Oh my god, wait.. You two are living together?” Margo’s eyes widened as she looked at me.

“And she barely knows him.” Dinah interrupted, irritated because whatever she’d been trying to say without saying before was obviously being interrupted and cast to the side.

I glared at Dinah and shrugged, answering Margo. “Kind of. It’s temporary. Kind of like a test drive?” I did my best at being convincing, but the entire time I was saying it, the feeling of dread I’d been having about Ben’s upcoming departure rushed right back to the forefront. But I shoved it down again. I already know I don’t have a shot in hell there, there’s no sense in dreading it or letting it get to me.

Not when we were already such good friends. Anything further would be risking the total ruin of that. And I didn’t want to.

“Since when? And are there more out there like him?” Cecilia asked quietly, staring dead at him and fanning herself as she did.

“Since like… a week after Thanksgiving?” I scratched my head as I thought back. Had it really been that long? My mind was blown because it honestly felt like only yesterday that I was finding the crash site for his ship.

The weeks following seemed to have just flown by. And the realization of just how much time had really passed only made me stop and think about just how much I was dreading Ben’s departure.

“You two don’t act like a couple.” Dinah spoke up, insistent. Margo glared at her and I sighed, shrugging. “Not everybody is into over the top PDA. Why do you always insist there’s more to something than there really is?”

“Yeah, Di? Can’t you just let Katherine be happy?”

“If she didn’t have crap judgement..” Dinah trailed off, glancing at me awkwardly. I tensed and rolled my eyes. “If you ever wonder why we never talk more than twice a year, Di? This. This is exactly why. You’re not my mother and I’m not a fucking child.”

I don’t know what got into me, but I was snapping and storming away before I could bother to censor myself or stop. And it felt so good. I stormed into the house to check on the food and just be alone for a few minutes.

To my surprise, Ben cleared his throat from the doorway of the kitchen before stepping in and sliding the doors closed.

“Are you alright? I heard what your sister was saying.”

I took a deep breath and shrugged. “Just ready for the afternoon to be over. She’s second guessing the whole thing and if she pushes too hard, digs too much I’m afraid that she’ll... “ I trailed off, going quiet. Ben swallowed hard and nodded, giving me this look that showed he understood.

And from the doorway, Dinah’s throat cleared.

“I came to talk to my sister.”

Ben tensed.

“She’s got nothing to say to you.”

His tone came out so calm and yet so angry that it had me glancing up at him. He was glaring at Dinah. Dinah’s mouth opened and closed and she looked from me to Ben. I gave her a half hearted smirk and she eyed us both, almost like she were determined to believe that we were lying and she wanted to dig the truth out.

Ben’s arms slipped around my waist and before I could stop myself, I gasped quietly, sort of melting right against him. “Katherine, all that’s wrong with your sister is that she’s jealous. She’s always been jealous.”

I eyed Dinah and a brow raised when I realized that Ben’s words had hit a very tangible mark. She flinched and her mouth opened and closed, and then when she had nothing to say, her lips pursed and she grumbled quietly, “I don’t trust you, Ben.”

“And I don’t particularly care for you, Dinah.” Ben snapped, giving a shrug when she gaped at him as if she were shocked that he’d dare to speak to her that way.

“You’re going to let him talk to me like this?” Dinah gaped at me and I shrugged, snuggling myself against Ben just a little bit, gazing up at him over my shoulder before turning my attention back to her. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re the one who’s acting like an asshole.”

“I literally cannot deal with you. I’m leaving.” Dinah stormed out of the kitchen, calling to her husband and my nieces. “Kids, get in the car.”

Margo and Cecilia eyed my sister and gave each other a look before hurrying inside, shutting the door behind them.

“Whatever you two did, we’re gonna need you to do it again next year.”

Ben chuckled, shrugging. “I just pointed out that she seemed to be jealous of Katherine.”

“Oh, damn.. That went well.” Margo laughed, smiling as she shook her head. Cecilia turned to me and nodded her head back at Ben. “I like him.”

“Wait.. you two weren’t on her side every single time?”

“What? No.”

“I just never said anything because I know she’s been having problems in her own life for years.” Margo mused and this got her a look from both Cecilia and I. Margo gave a shrug and explained calmly, “Her husband’s leaving her in January. For the secretary at his firm. Not only that, she’s got laid off last year and she decided to do the stay at home mom thing and it’s been depressing her. And when we were kids, she was jealous of you and Cecilia because you two were always doing things and she never really got to do any of that… Especially after dad died…”

“She didn’t have to take care of us? We had grandma. Everything was fine.”

“She didn’t think so. You know what a control freak she is, Katherine.” Margo sighed and shook her head. “I have wanted to tell her to grow up and get over it for years now. Just never had the heart to because I knew why she was like that.”

Cecilia and I shared a look.

Ben cleared his throat.

“Is the food in the oven supposed to be burning? Because it smells like it’s starting to.”

“Shit.”

“Listen.. We all know Dinah’s turkey is dry every single year. Let’s just find a pizza place or something?”

I nodded, laughing. “If she were here, she’d be throwing a fit.”

“You three can’t even wait until I’ve actually left to let everything go to shit?” Dinah wandered back into the kitchen, opening the oven and glaring at my sisters and I.

“You let the turkey burn?”

“I thought you were going home.”

“And I was… Until I realized that grandma would be disappointed in all of us. Me, especially.” Dinah was squirming. She’s never enjoyed apologizing. I laughed and shook my head. “Listen, if Jim is going to walk out, let him. The guy’s a fucking jerk anyway. I just never said so because I thought you liked… that kind of guy.” I advised.

Cecilia dug around in the drawers for the corkscrew to open her wine and Margo spoke up after a few seconds. “Just let everything go, Di. Life’s too fucking short, okay? We’re literally all we have left now.”

Dinah mulled it over, nodding. She eyed Ben, who was hanging back, leaning in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. “Maybe I was wrong about you. I just… I got suspicious because that one,” she nodded towards me, “Doesn’t typically get involved with anyone, let alone let her guard down enough to trust.”

I could feel Ben’s eyes on me, but I didn’t dare look up to meet his gaze, instead, I focused on pouring myself a glass of wine.

XXX

I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. “Thank God. That’s done for another year.” I laughed out the words and Ben chuckled quietly. “Wasn’t that bad.”

“I mean..” I trailed off, going quiet. I knew from the little bits about himself that he’d told me, he’d never really been that close to his family. And when he’d chosen the path that he’d chosen in life, they’d only gotten further apart.

I got the feeling there was so much more to it than that, but I didn’t push. It wasn’t my business. Even though I hurt for him, because there had been points throughout the day that I could look at him and tell that he longed to have a family, even if all they did was fight. Like… maybe he regretted whatever he’d done immensely.

I sank down on the couch beside him, staring at my hands for a few seconds, nothing but the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace filling the room.

“I’m almost healed.” Ben muttered. I glanced up at him, biting my lip and nodding, forcing a smile. “You are! Hey, if you want… I can get one of Doc’s friends to come out and move your ship back to the cabin… So you can use the garage and the barn out back to work on it?”

Ben nodded after a few seconds, muttering quietly, “Yes.”

After he’d fallen silent for seconds that seemed to stretch into hours on my end, he spoke up again. “I’ve actually enjoyed being here.”

“Honestly, I’ve enjoyed you being here. And I’m not really a people person.”

Ben chuckled. “Neither am I.”

I scooted a little close, tentatively leaning against him. “Sorry you got pulled into all that crap.”

He shrugged. “Wasn’t that bad.” as he chuckled and asked quietly, “Is it like that every year?”

I shook my head. “No, because usually, Margo and Cecilia and I just ignore her. Or do whatever she’s nagging at us to do. Just to keep the peace.”

“Oh.”

“But it’s fine, she honestly needed to hear everything we were all saying earlier. She’s always been… Overbearing.”

“Overbearing is just one word.” Ben mused, making me laugh and reassure him quietly, “I’m fine. I have a thick skin.”

He chuckled and nodded in agreement as he eyed the glass of wine I was sipping. I held it out and he took a sip, spitting it out.

“That’s awful.”

“It’s not!”

“It’s utter swill, woman.” Ben dragged a hand over his mouth and my eyes caught on the movement. I gulped and stood abruptly. Because if I didn’t, if I kept sitting there, I was going to do something dumb.. Like kiss him.

And if he’s going to leave soon, that’s the last thing I want to do.

I’ll only wind up getting hurt if I keep getting too close. I have to remind myself of that a lot lately.

#12 days of christmas #12daysofchristmas #ben solo fanfiction #ben solo fanfic #ben solo imagine #ben solo imagines #my writing; ben solo #my fics; ben solo #my moodboards; ben solo #SUBTITLE HERE: the one in which ben and reader are fake dating

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justalittleofyourlove-fic · 4 years

Text

A LoYL snippet...

Day 6: Trick or Treat from Clextober2020 featured Clarke, Lexa, and Xander!!

Most days, Clarke really loved her job. As a detective, she solved crime that tore families apart. Sometimes she even worked on finding a missing kid. Those days were her favorite. The days where she can find a missing piece and make a family whole again, she loved those days.

Her work as the head of the Polis PD’s Search and Rescue was just as important. Sure, those stories took tragic turns more often than she’d like. Still, she wasn’t ready to give that up yet. She had more helicopters to jump out of before she could even consider giving it up!

But when her work took her away from her family, she hated that. Seeing Xander’s shoulders drop when her phone rang, knowing it meant Clarke had to head to a crime scene or the precinct, she hated it. She knew the little girl was proud of the work she did, but she knew Xander struggled with sharing Kork with others.

It wasn’t often that Clarke pushed her team to the breaking point on missions but that Halloween, she did just that. She’d been able to talk to Lexa and Xander briefly the night before. Lexa made her promise to just be safe, a promise Clarke was ready and willing to make. But then Xander had taken the phone from her mother and told Clarke it was okay if she had to miss Halloween to save someone. She would understand.

And dammit, Clarke didn’t want the six-year-old to have to understand.

She never spoke the words out loud but she’d made a promise to Xander that she’d try her hardest to get home in time to get dressed up and take her trick or treating.

The mission and debriefing really hadn’t been too bad. Maybe that was because Clarke had been given an excuse to leave early though. Needing an x-ray or two was a good way to get out of the boring bits of the job.

Nursing her side, Clarke slowly made her way up the front walk to Lexa’s house. She hadn’t officially moved in or anything but since most of her stuff was there, she might as well have. It was only a matter of time before it was official anyway.

Reaching for the doorknob, she whimpered when she found it locked. Her keys were in her pocket, reaching for them meant moving muscles that had been strained and possibly jostling bones that were bruised. Biting her lip, she breathed heavily through her nose as she dug into her pocket for the keys.

She had to take a few seconds, blinking back tears the whole time, before she slid the key into the lock.

Once inside, she slowly made her way to Badas’ kennel, letting the puppy into the backyard for a little while. She pulled a Gatorade from the fridge, taking a long drink from it before she reached in for the lunch meats. A quick sandwich before an even quicker shower seemed in order.

Badas was ready to join her inside just as she finished her drink and sandwich. He ran to the door, skidding to a stop just before he bashed into the glass, and sat down. Clarke slid the door open, greeting the puppy with scratches to his ears.

“Come on,” She said as she turned toward the living room.

Normally she and Lexa didn’t let him up on their bed. There were times when exceptions were made though, including Clarke feeling like she’d gone white water rafting without the raft.

Badas jumped onto the bed and settled at the foot, lazing onto his side with a grumbled sort of sigh.

“I feel you, buddy,” Clarke muttered as she shuffled by. She grabbed the first set of comfy clothes she spotted in the closet, knowing full well the shirt was Lexa’s and she was only going to stretch it out. She smirked at that. Lexa had a thing for her stretching out her shirts.

The shower wasn’t as quick as Clarke had planned. The hot water spraying at her from the side jets and falling onto her head from the rainfall head... well, it seemed like just what the doctor would have ordered had the doctor known she had access to such wonderfulness.

Soon enough though, Clarke turned off the water and prepared for her first sleep in a real bed in over a week. The cot in her tent had not been the most comfortable. She toweled herself off, pulling her hair up into a messy bun, and pulled on the clothes.

As soon as she exited the bathroom she was snorting out a laugh. Badas was doing his best impression of a starfish. The puppy had grown a great deal in the months since she and Xander had found him in the forest. Clarke knew he still had more goring left to do and he was already huge.

“Better make room for me,” Clarke said as she lifted the blankets. When the puppy only groaned and huffed at her, she slid her knee up onto the bed and shot a glare his way. “Badas, I will fight you. You do not scare me.”

More grumbled huffs came her way, but at least this time the puppy sat up, allowing Clarke to get her legs into the bed. He watched her, and though she may have imagined in her sleep-deprived mind, Clarke was pretty sure he narrowed his eyes at her.

Clarke waved off his grumbling, already half asleep. “I fell down a fucking mountain, Badas. Leave me alone!”

*************************************************

The next thing Clarke knew, she was being gently shaken awake. She opened the eye not buried in the plush pillow, immediately smiling sleepily when she spotted Lexa leaning over her.

“Hey, you,” Clarke whispered, her voice scratchy and huskier than usual. She lifted her arm and scooted back a bit on the bed, eager to feel Lexa pressed against her. “I missed you.”

Lexa obliged without needing to be asked. She slid right into the bed, smiling when Clarke’s arm dropped over her, her hand rubbing at her back. She leaned in, eager for a kiss. It always seemed like she was never convinced Clarke was actually home unless she was given a kiss.

Even three-quarters of the way asleep, Clarke responded to the kiss right away.

“Love you,” Clarke whispered, her hand pulling at Lexa’s back, urging her closer until their legs were tangled and Lexa’s arm was draped over Clarke’s side too.

That was when Lexa noticed the grimace on Clarke’s face when she touched her. And then she spotted the small cuts on her face and neck. She leaned in and kissed each one she could see.

“So… you fell down a mountain?” she asked.

“I was pushed down a mountain,” Clarke corrected, not even bothering to open her eyes. Her hand squeezed Lexa’s hip. “I’m fine, love.”

Arching a brow and pushing herself up onto her elbow, Lexa reached for the hem of Clarke’s shirt. She eased it up. When she spotted the purple and black bruises, she bit her lips. As carefully as she could, she leaned down and pressed soft kisses over the injuries.

“What happened?” She asked as she settled again.

“Fucking Finn,” Clarke bit out. She opened an eye then and pouted. “He’s such a little bitch. Bats he can handle with no issue. The bugs in caves? No big deal to him. But a bumblebee? A goddamn bee buzzing around his head and he turns into the biggest wimp on the East coast.”

Lexa bit back a smile. She nodded and waited for more ranting. It didn’t come though.

“He ran from a bee?”

“He fucking shrieked and ran like he was being chased by killer bees!” Clarke replied. She rolled to her back as carefully as she could. “And did it matter that I was in his way on the path? Do you think that mattered?”

Lexa shook her head and leaned her head on her hand. “No, I don’t suppose it did.”

“It’s been months since I got hurt on a mission. And this time, it wasn’t even the mission!”

“I know, love.”

Clarke groaned and turned her head so she could meet Lexa’s eye. “I could kill him.”

“You’ll have to get in line behind Raven, Octavia, Anya, Lincoln, Kane, your mother, me and Xander.”

“You’re pretty far down that list,” Clarke cocked a brow.

Lexa shrugged. “The others know where he lives. I haven’t been given that information yet.”

Laughing quietly, Clarke clutched at her ribs when they pulled a little. “I did try to not get hurt though. I want that noted!”

“You’re okay? Other than scrapes and bruises?”

“A couple of bruised ribs and strained muscles,” Clarke informed her with a whine. “I’m on desk duty for, like, a month now. I’m going to make Finn clean and sanitize every single piece of equipment in our inventory. Twice! And then I’ll have him disassemble all of our weapons and clean them too.”

“Clarke.”

Shaking her head, Clarke stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend. “Then, when I’m done with him, I’ll send him to the precinct so Kane can use him too.”

“You don’t have to go tonight, you know that right?” Lexa said softly, reaching to cup Clarke’s face. Her thumb moved back and forth along her cheek. “Xander will understand.”

“I don’t want Xander to have to understand.” Clarke replied quickly. “What time is it?”

“About half four.”

Nodding, Clarke pulled herself into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard. “Okay. So I have an hour and half to get ready.”

“Clarke, my love,” Lexa breathed and shook her head. “You can stay here.”

“I’ll take some of the pills the doc gave me, spray on some lidocaine stuff and I’ll be good to go.”

Lexa chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. Then she sighed. “What are the chances I’ll be able to talk you out of this?”

“Slim to none,” Clarke replied. She puckered her lips. “Now give me a kiss and help me out of bed. We’ve got costumes to put on!”

************************************************

Trick or Treating started at six o’clock sharp. Clarke had managed to finish getting ready ten minutes before the family of three piled into Lexa’s SUV. They drove to the big houses first, Clarke eagerly sharing all the best spots to get the big candy bars with a giddy Xander in the back seat.

She wasn’t wrong about a single house. Xander’s candy haul was massive.

Soon, they ended up at Abby and Kane’s house, the agreed upon meeting place for their friends and family for the night. Abby hosted a costume party every year, offering a gift certificate to a spa to the winner of the costume party. Making their way around to the back yard, Xander took off at a sprint when she spotted Declan and Mags on the impromptu dance floor Kane had set up.

Clarke found herself pulled into the house and up to her old bedroom.

“Are you planning on having your way with me?” She husked as Lexa pushed her inside.

“Yeah, right,” Lexa replied with a laugh. She pulled Clarke’s pills out of the little purse that was part of her costume. “It’s time for you to take some more pills. And,” She pulled out the lidocaine spray, “To reapply this.”

Fifteen minutes later, and only after Lexa agreed to a quick teenage-style make-out, they rejoined the party. This time, Raven and Anya, Lincoln and Octavia, and the rest of their friends were there. As soon as Raven spotted them, she threw her head back and laughed loudly.

“No way!” She breathed before she started laughing again at the sight of them. “No fucking way!”

“Swear jar!” Xander and Declan shouted at the same time, holding out their hands as they raced toward her.

The sight of Xander in her costume was Raven’s undoing. “This is the greatest day of my life. Where’s Abby? Clexander wins this year. Hands down. No way there are better costumes here.”

Lexa looped her arm around Clarke carefully before pressing a smiling kiss to her cheek. She motioned for Xander to join them, each of them placing a hand on her shoulder.

The picture Octavia snapped of them became one of their favorites.

“What?” Clarke asked as she arched a brow. She grinned at her family. “Haven’t you ever seen a goomba just chilling with Princess Peach and Princess Daisy?”

#Clexander #Xander #Drabble #Halloween #clextober20 #Day 6: Trick or Treat #I miss this family...

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randomguywithwords · 3 years

Text

As The Dust Settles: Chapter 22 (Geten X Dabi Slowburn)

Chapter 22: Lost Memories

AO3 Link

Previous Chapters: 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

–––––––––––

On Friday, Dabi found himself surrounded by four figures, recognising only one by his still-long silver hair like strands of moonlight, his hardened, battle-scarred face and calm expression.

“This is a nice reunion. I can’t say I remember all of you – mostly because I don’t care to do so, but if Nine let you guys into his special club, you guys are likely decent.” Dabi smirked, eyeing each of them in turn.

The rightmost one, an imposing wolf-man gave a growl. “Decent? I’ll show you decent.”

“Chimera,” Nine, to his left, spoke softly. To Dabi’s surprise, the subordinate huffed and stayed silent. Turning back to face Dabi, Nine said, “It has indeed been a while. You understand the logistics of this experiment?”

“Shigaraki put me to it, of course I do.”

“Then let us proceed.” Nine stepped towards him, while his minions tensed up.

“Nine, are you sure about this?” The skinny man directed a glare towards Dabi. Dabi didn’t need that to tell him they were suspicious of him.

“I’ll be in safe hands. We will meet at the location I’ve given you all. Take care, friends.” Nine gave a wave of dismissal, and with some reluctance, the remaining three departed in silence.

“Alright, let’s go.” Dabi pocketed his hands and began leaving the forest clearing, heading back towards Deika City. He heard Nine’s footsteps behind him.

“Your demeanour has certainly shifted. What happened to the old Vengeance?”

“Who?”

“You, obviously.”

Dabi racked his brain, but the name didn’t ring a bell. “Well, I don’t call myself that horrible name now.”

“I’ve heard. Numerous cases of burnt corpses or piles of ashes, blue flames. They call you Dabi now. I thought it was peculiar, but it made sense when I could no longer contact your old mentor.”

“Your squadmate.” Dabi corrected, the fact returning to his memories. As Nine’s voice entered his head, it hummed in resonance with old recollections where he had met the man in his teenagehood. He now recalled the one encounter, out of the few, where Dabi had first seen that calm, controlled countenance contort with rage, born from the ideology he stole.

“It confused me initially. I wondered why a man you respected and perhaps even cared for would be subject to your flames. The possibilities ranged from hallucinogens to collateral damage. But no.” Nine murmured. “You killed Dabi intentionally, didn’t you?”

Dabi was silent for three seconds, the air cold as winter storms. “You were right,” Touya said. “He left me for dead, but I escaped, and then...yeah.”

Nine sighed. “How poetic. To die by his partner’s hands, as he let his squad die all those years ago. But that brings me to my other question.”

They were drawing near to civilization, weaving through pine trees and stepping over brooks.

“Why take his name?”

“Figure it out yourself,” Dabi said with a forceful tone of finality. “We’re almost reaching the place.”

To his credit, Nine dropped the subject. Perhaps he did so because he needed what Shigaraki had to offer. Antagonising Dabi wouldn’t be smart.

They were reaching one of the tunnels that led to the Liberation Front’s assembly square, now empty. It was empty, likely only watched by Skeptic’s surveillance. But a few raised eyebrows is all it would draw; Skeptic was too cowardly to question Dabi’s tasks or Shigaraki’s plans.

“Here?” Dabi heard disgust in Nine’s tone as the musty air rushed out of the opening doors.

“Can’t let anyone see us. This is good.” Dabi shut the doors behind them. Tapping his earpiece, he said, “We’re good, Doc.”

“I’ve been waiting for a while now,” Ujiko huffed on the other end of the line. “Give me a second.”

“Have a safe trip, Nine, I’ll see you on Monday.” Dabi waved, concealing a grin.

Nine gave a nod, before Ujiko’s teleportation took hold of his form, and Nine’s body disappeared within the swampy goo.

Dabi leaned against the wall, feeling more memories return of the other Dabi. The first Dabi. Did I ever know his name? I don’t think he, nor Nine, ever told me. Special forces… all that secrecy.

He felt his fire ignite on his arm out of instinct. He willed it to die, and instead, let the past engulf him.

––––––––––

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Touya.” I rubbed my hands out of instinct. What time is it? How long did I sleep?

“Quirk?”

“I can shoot fire.”

“Was it you back there? The fire at that mall in the afternoon?”

“No,” I lied.

The stranger cocked his head. “I ain’t gonna report you to the police, kid. I’m not exactly on best terms with them myself.”

“Are you…” The word on the tip of my tongue was like a matchstick to a fuse.

“A villain?” He scoffed. “I just fixed you up and gave you a place to sleep for the night. Do I look like one?”

I looked him up and down. Grey coat, green goggles on his forehead, a cigarette in his hand. “No,” I said.

“Well, your perception needs some work.” He leaned back on the creaky folding chair. “Officially, I’m considered one, but unlike the thugs in alleys like this, I have standards. And I don’t take kids hostage, even if you’re Endeavour’s kid.”

I backed away, my back slamming against the mouldy bricks. “How did you —“

“Please, a fire quirk, and recent sightings of Endeavour at the same mall that was set on fire? Don’t play dumb with me.”

“That was his doing,” I argued.

He took a puff and clucked his tongue. “Now you’re blaming it on your dad? Not very filial.”

“I hate my dad.” The venom coursed through every word I spat out, which seemed to startle even the stranger.

“Hm, some spirit in you. Well, take that bravado and run off now, why don’t you?”

“What?”

He quirked his eyebrow. “You heard me, shoo.”

“But…” My head drooped. “I’ve nowhere to go. I’m running away.”

“Well, you should have thought of a plan before setting fire to a mall, using that as an escape, and nearly choking to death in the flames you made.” Every word in that sentence made my skin shudder.

I was desperate, I wanted to say, but desperation would only paint me as prey in the underbelly of society, my next stage of hell that the gods were benevolent enough to throw me into.

“I can help you,” I decided to say, raising my head, mustering the drops of defiance in myself.

The man snorted. “How exactly does a 13 year old kid benefit me? I don’t do teams, boy.”

“What if I beat you in a fight?” I clenched my fists, which still stung from the wounds.

He scanned my form and the guise of confidence on my face. “Oh, so you were trained by Endeavour. I thought you were one of those prissy boys enjoying a rich life.”

My face drained of heat and colour. How did he know?

“Look, I’m not a smart guy, but I’m smarter than you. I can make my own assumptions, one of which is that I’d win you in a fight. No contest.”

“I…” My voice trailed off.

“How about this?” The man said, throwing his cigarette behind him. “You know hide and seek?”

I frowned. “Yes. It’s a childish game.”

“I don’t think so. I think it’s one of the best strategies for its simplicity. Let’s play that game. Give me a minute, then go to the nearby park. It’s midnight, no one will see you. And if you get caught by a stray policeman, I’m not saving you again. Anyway, if you can find me, I’ll let you in. Got it?”

I gulped, hoping this wasn’t dangerous for myself, but considering how I’d be unconscious for a couple of hours and he hadn’t done anything, I felt a sense of trust in this stranger.

“Ok, tha – thank you. How long do I have?”

“60 seconds. Start counting.” With that, he left the alley.

1...2...3

Ten seconds in, I wondered if he was simply leaving me as a twisted joke. How far could he run in a minute? What was his quirk anyway?

Twenty seconds in, I contemplated scrounging this hideout for whatever I could find and running from him, but the guilt of betraying his hospitality stopped me.

Thirty seconds in, in a moment of panic, I thought he was going to turn me in. What if people died in the fire? I would be held responsible, wouldn’t I? What if everything he said about himself being a villain was a lie?

The minute felt stretched into eternity with the unceasing torrent of worries flooding my mind. But after being frozen in one spot throughout, I heard myself say 60. Taking a deep breath, I got up and left the hideout, entering the cold night.

––––––––––

Dabi heard the door groan open. He opened his eyes to see a familiar form, shrouded by a recognizable parka hood.

“You?” Dabi frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Geten’s form went rigid, like a burglar who had been caught by a flashlight.

“I thought...there was a meeting,” She said.

“And you chose to enter by this tunnel?” His tone was acidly amused.

Geten didn’t reply for a couple of seconds. “Yes.”

Dabi sighed. “For a lieutenant, you’re shit at lying. You were following me, weren’t you? Why would you enter an empty place where you know your entrance would be heard so goddamn clearly?”

“You were in there for a while. I thought,” She caught herself, but relented. “I thought something happened to you. That man. He looked dangerous.”

Dabi’s breath was stuck in his throat. It was his turn to be stunned. “I was fine, alright. I’m just thinking. So, how much did you hear?” He folded his arms in annoyance, but he found it suddenly difficult to muster anger against her.

“Next to nothing, apart from your farewell. What are you doing when the Festival starts?”

“I’ll be there during the Festival. Don’t worry.” Dabi figured Twice could simply generate a copy of him. Technically, it was the truth.

“You’re a liar.” The emotion in her words took him aback, as if that really struck a painful chord in her. “You wouldn’t sound so reassuring. What’s going on?”

Ugh. Shigaraki won’t be happy if I told her.

“I’m not going to divulge this to anyone. I’ve no intention to, anyway,” She added.

“It’s just a side task, okay? You can handle the regiment just fine.”

Geten was quiet, then she spoke, “Can we continue this somewhere else?”

“Why?”

“Wouldn’t want to make the amateur mistake you did when speaking to that man.” She gestured around them.

Ah. Dabi had an idea what she intended to say. “If you say so. Where’s a good place?”

But Geten responded only by opening the door and motioned for him to follow.

#ATDS #bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #geten #bnha geten #dabi #bnha dabi #dabi x geten #geten x dabi #dabiten

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lavishedinjimin · 5 years

Text

brother’s best friend - jjk (M)

↳ Pairing: jungkook x reader

↳ genre: SMUT

↳ Word count: 5.3k

↳ Warnings: intense smut, overstimulation, choking, spanking, dirty talk, dom!jungkook, oral sex (receiving), bbf!jungkook, and all unholy things that would put me to hell

— synopsis: In which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you.

a/n: since tumblr links aren’t working, I suggest you to go to my blog description and check out my masterlist!

“Y/n! Come here quickly!” You heard your mom shout from the living room, quickly closing your laptop and ran downstairs. You tried not to lose your balance as you simultaneously fixed your hair up in a messy bun as you took quick steps down. “Y/n, I swear … calm down, or else you’re gonna fall.” You heard your brother Taehyung, said with complete worry evident in his voice.

Your mom was already attired in a business casual uniform with her hair up in a neat ponytail. She swung her bag over her shoulder and took the car keys from the empty jar that was set in the middle of the dining table. “I’m about to go now,” she started, grabbing ahold of her suitcase, “you two better not fight and always be good to each other okay?"

You can feel that Taehyung rolled his eyes, yet it doesn’t surprise you if he really did. "You,” your mom tended to your brother, “don’t do anything stupid in this house. Don’t hold any parties whatsoever, don’t invite people over, and especially don’t trash this whole place down.” Taehyung smiled, promising an ‘okay’ to her. You scoffed.

“And you, Y/n, make sure that your brother doesn’t do anything stupid."

"Mom~” Taehyung whined, “Mom we’re not eleven anymore."

"I know that, but you sometimes act like one."

Saying goodbye to your mom was kinda sad, as she was about to go in a one week business trip to Bangkok. Part of you was glad that you’d finally have some sort of freedom, but part of you will always miss her. When her uber drove off, you proceeded to go back upstairs to your room to finish what you were previously doing.

As you were taking a hot and steamy shower, you can’t help but fantasize about him again. You know that musing about your brother’s best friend remains messed up, but the way how he looks at you and the way that he presents himself makes you head over heels for him.

Jeon Jungkook, 21, and a natural flirt believe it or not.

Some may call it revolting, but you run a blog dedicated to all of your thirsty thoughts about him; not saying his name, of course. You post your deepest and darkest fantasies about him, and no one knows that it’s about your brother’s best friend.

You often saw him shirtless, exposing his hot abs and muscular body to your own eyes. Your imagination drifted to the time where Taehyung held a little pool party between his friends. But when your mother found out that you weren’t invited, she persuaded Taehyung to invite his own little sister too. You didn’t really like the idea of swimming with a bunch of dudes and no ladies, but when you overheard that Jungkook was also coming, your judgment changed completely.

“Hey, Y/n, lookin’ good.” One of his friends, Seokjin, wooed when you first stepped out of the house with a one-piece bikini. Taehyung rolled his eyes and smacked him on his arm, “Ouch! Okay, okay, sorry.”

You couldn’t help but sneak a few glances to Jungkook. He was shirtless, only wearing his swimming trunks as he laid on one of the long chairs by the pool. He had his head tilted back as the sun kissed his skin, providing a stunning glow on his skin. You bit your lip, shaking your head. Now’s not the time.

You masturbated and used your trusty vibrator to the thought of him. And it would be an utter hell if Taehyung ever finds out.

You were knocked out of your dark thoughts when you heard rapid knocks to the door, "Y/n! Are you here?” Taehyung’s voice asked. “Yeah, why?” You turned out the water for a second to hear what he has to say.

“Can we borrow your laptop? It’s for a project!"

You groaned, tilting your head back, "No! Use your own!"

"We’re already using mine. We need two."

You rolled your eyes, already annoyed. "Whatever, fine."

"Yay, thanks.” You can hear him already stepping away from the door until another question pops up inside your mind, “Wait! Who are you with? Who’s gonna use mine?"

"Jeon Jungkook!"

Your eyes went completely wide, mouth open in hysteria. Your brain couldn’t seem to function, and no other words were spilling out of your mouth. You wanted to scream, to bring back every word you said and to just run out of the shower to grab your laptop away from him – but you know you were too late.

Jungkook’s point of view:

"So what did she say?” I asked as I saw Taehyung returning back from upstairs. He grinned, revealing Y/n’s laptop from his back where he was previously hiding it. Seeing all of the cute stickers that surfaced the most part of her laptop made me smirk. “Here,” he gave the laptop to me as I set it up on top of the marble island.

“Does it have a password?"

"Yeah, it’s ’mypassword’. All lowercase, no space.”

A chuckle emitted from my lips as I looked at Taehyung, who sat across from me, already indulged in his own laptop. “How do you know that?"

"I just notice her typing it in sometimes."

My fingers typed the password the way how Taehyung said, and it unlocks. The first thing that appeared on the screen made my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Examining the whole page, I noticed that it was run by her. It was her account, and it was filled with all kinds of dirty fantasies. I bit my lip scrolling down to search for more. I knew that it was so wrong to invade someone’s privacy like this and just pretend that I didn’t see anything – but I couldn’t believe that someone like her thinks about all these nasty thoughts.

[ Imagine your dom fucking you against the wall, lifting one of your legs up as he chokes you with his other hand ]

[ Your dom overstimulating you to the point where your legs shake, begging that you can’t take it any further but it just fuels him to fuck you harder ]

[ ughhhh just the thought of someone wrapping their hand around your throat, whispering praises in your ear for how good you’ve been for them ]

[ fuck, when a guy has that cocky smirk turns me on so much ]

[ Your dom spanking you to the point where your ass turns red as he punishes you for being bad ]

I gulped, feeling a little bit turned on. I always saw Y/n as an innocent and a serene girl, but fuck was I wrong. My eyes go to an anonymous question that was sent to her, asking;

[ Q: ‘Do you have a dom??’ ]

[ - no, just someone who inspires me lmao ]

[ Q: ‘who is it then???’ ]

[ - i can’t say the name obviously, woman. ]

[ Q: Initials? ]

[ - jjk ;) ]

I almost choked on my own saliva after I saw the letters. I didn’t want to assume too fast, but I was certain that I’m the only person that she knows that has those initials. I smirk at the thought of Y/n having these dirty thoughts about me when she looks like an actual angel – so pure.

I look up at Taehyung, who was apparently already staring at me with a confused look. “You good there?” he asked, nodding his head in my direction. I smirk furthermore, “Yeah.”

“Okay. Now go to google docs.”

You were panicking like shit, trying to put your clothes on properly. You were struggling to hike up your leggings, resulting in hopping on one foot as you almost lost your balance. You ran downstairs as fast as you could, praying that Jungkook has not opened your laptop yet.

But as soon you were at the end of the staircase, you turned to your left and saw the two boys sitting at the marble islands, looking at your drained state.

Your breathing was heavy, and you looked like you had just run a marathon. “What’s up with you, Y/n?” Taehyung asked, completely annoyed by your presence.

You meet Jungkook’s eyes across the room who was staring at you intensely with a smirk. You gulped, seeing how he eyed you up and down. You suddenly felt small. “I-I need my laptop back.”

“What? Why? We’re using it already.” Taehyung groaned.

“Please, can I have it back? I-I forgot that I had work to do as well.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook, “What do you say?”

“It’s okay,” he replied but never keeping his eyes away from you, “you can have it back.” He closed the cover, waiting for you to take your laptop back. You held your breath as you took the courage to walk over to them and retrieve your laptop from him. You seized a quick glance at Jungkook, and you noticed how he smirked at gave you a quick wink. Your eyes widen, quickly turning around as you were clutching your laptop tightly to your chest.

You were fucked.

Next day:

You were almost considering about deleting your account just because of how humiliated you’ve become.

Taehyung said that Jungkook was going to come back again just to finish their project. Meaning, another day of hiding all day inside the comfort of your room. Your laptop – that goddamn thing – was on the other side of your room, charging as you were staring blankly at the white ceiling above you. Your hair was all messy and tangled from all of the tuggings you have been doing for the past hour.

‘He must’ve seen everything’, you thought to yourself as you closed your eyes. You reminisced about your recent posts that he might have seen and you immediately remembered the questions about having a ‘dom’. “Fuck!” you yelled, rubbing your face with your hands. You continuously kicked the sheets below you in rage, even throwing a pillow aimed to your laptop. “Why did I even think about posting his initials?” you whined, trapping your face with a pillow and let out a muffled groan.

You stayed like that for a couple of minutes until you calmed yourself down. You stood up from the comfort of your bed and looked at yourself in the mirror. Letting out a chuckle, you shook your head. “You fucking idiot,” you told yourself. You grabbed a comb and fixed your hair, taking your time to relax.

Just the thought of your crush finding out that you run a filthy blog just for him made you insane. You probably couldn’t even look at his eyes anymore, and you just pray to God that he doesn’t tell Taehyung about this. Because if he does, you were seriously deliberating about moving out of the house, blocking every connection from him and just disappear.

But did you regret doing the blog, though? Not really. Jungkook was seriously a hot guy. The way how he walks like he’s better than any other model there is, how the veins on his forearms are so prominent and visible, or how luscious his thighs are - makes you drool. He can literally be a cute bunny and turn into a hot daddy afterward. His fucking duality.

You found yourself daydreaming about him again and you mentally slapped yourself. You groaned at yourself and continued your little grooming session.

It was after a while until Taehyung literally texted your phone saying that Jungkook has just arrived; as if you needed the alarm. You replied with a simple “k” and decided to open your laptop. You logged in into your account and uploaded a post.

[ Okay, update. My crush knows that this blog is about him 💀]

After a moment, someone replied.

[ - Is this the jjk guy? ]

[ Yup. ]

[ - oh. Im the anon who asked the initals. woops #sorrynotsorry ]

[ you’re gonna pay for this, anon. I swear eye– ]

[ - girl, maybe I just made you a favor ]

“What?” you furrowed your eyebrows, about to type a reply before a knock the door refrained you from your actions. You looked up, waiting for the person on the other side to say anything. Nothing. Tilting your head to the side in confusion, you stood up from your desk and walked over to the door, about to open it but another set of knocks came.

With a huff, you finally opened the door. “What do you wa—”

The person you were least expecting was on the other side, almost making you lose your balance.

“J-Jungkook?”

He smirked smugly, combing his hair back, making his arms flex involuntarily. He stepped forward, making you take a shy step back as he leaned himself against the doorframe. “Y/n,” he smiles, crossing his arms in front of him. Your breathing was heavy and you tried your hardest to look away, but something in his eyes prevents you from doing it. He caught you within him, and Jungkook has something planned.

“W-where’s Tae?” You asked quietly, not trusting your voice. Jungkook laughs silently as he steps forward, coming inside of your room. He looks at your bed then turns to you again, “Can I sit here?”

“Oh, um, of course.” You forced a little smile. He smiles back at you as he sits down at the edge of your bed as you try not to literally drool. He wore black skinny jeans and with a white shirt tucked in. Even when he wore the simplest clothing he’ll still look good in them. You stood there awkwardly, playing with your nimble fingers until he signaled you to come closer. Your eyes widen for a second and you gulp. You obeyed him and you were now standing between his knees. He looks up at you and smiled. “Tae has gone to the mall to get a few things for our project.”

“And you didn’t go with him?” You asked. He chuckles, carefully holding your left hand and caressing it. Your breath hitched, biting your lip unconsciously.

“No, I told him I’d stay here. And besides,” Jungkook suddenly tugs on your arm, making you jolt forward and lay on his lap, “we have a lot to talk about.” You couldn’t breathe, everything seems to happen so fast. You heard him chuckle, caressing your backside. He holds your hips in place so that you couldn’t move. His stern grip on your sides makes you want to let out a moan, but you tried your hardest to prevent that.

“Jungkook…I –”

“Tell me, y/n. Was your blog dedicated to me?” he asked as he raised one brow up. You looked down in humiliation. You were about to say some lame excuse until he firmly gripped your chin, making you look deep into his brown irises. You tried to look away but his hold didn’t let you. He chuckled, “One word, baby. We’re you thinking about me when you post in that filthy little blog of yours?”

You sighed, the pet name making you feel some time of way, “Yes.”

Your answer resulted in him smirking, shaking his head. “You’re such a naughty little girl, aren’t you? Thinking about your brother’s best friend to fuck you. Is that what you want?”

The bluntness in his voice made you gasp lightly, not believing what you just heard. “Jungkook, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“A simple sorry isn’t gonna fix this, Y/n. Now, lay across my lap.”

You couldn’t believe what was happening, your every fantasy was about to come to life, and to be honest, you weren’t ready. You obeyed his instruction and you had your stomach pressed against his thighs, your knees touching the floor. He grabbed both of your wrists and encaptured them in one of his hands, pressing it against your back. You took a deep breath, knowing what was about to come. “Look at you,” he says, “laid across my lap like this. Do you know why you’re in this position, babygirl?” You whined at the name that he used, closing your eyes. “Answer me.” He grips your wrists tighter, making you wince. “Y-yes.”

“And why’s that?”

“B-because…” he started to remove your leggings down slowly, teasing you. “Because? Hmm?”

“Because I’ve been bad.”

He hums in approval, removing the material from your ass completely. Your white laced underwear exposed to him makes him growl, his member starting to grow. He runs a hand over your soft skin gently, caressing it carefully then squeezing it right after. You yelped in surprise. “Should I spank you for that, baby? Should I spank this pretty ass of yours until it’s red?”

You moaned, nodding your head as he chuckles. “Count for me.”

His right hand meets your right cheek harshly, leaving a filthy sound from the collision. You jolted forward, not expecting that he’d go hard immediately. “One.”

“You dirty little slut,” he hits you again, much harder than before as you mumble a ‘two’, “You like to be spanked, don’t you?” he hits you again, this time moaning out loud. “Three.” The lewd noises that the impact makes with the pleasurable pain already made you wet. His hold on your wrists tightens as he smacks you again. “Fucking answer.” He growls, and you obey him. “Y-yes. I do like it.”

He hits you for the fifth, sixth, seventh, and until it climbs up to the twentieth and you were knocked out. “Jungkook, p-please stop.” You had tears coming out from the corners of your eyes, both from the pain and the pleasure that every hit brings. He scoffs as he clashes his big hand on your left cheek for the last time. “T-twenty one,” you sniff. He removes your leggings off of your legs entirely as he lifts you up. He places you back on his lap in a straddling position. He wipes your tears off of your cheeks with his thumb gently, looking at your flushed face tenderly.

“So good for me, angel.” He whispers.

He himself looks flushed, his cheeks were red and so were yours. Spanking was one of his kinks as well, and we just loves how your body reacts to him. He lifts his hand up to your hair and removes your ponytail, leaving your gorgeous hair to fall down and frame your face. He smiles up at you and caresses your cheeks, pressing your face into his palm.

He looks at your lips for a second and locks his eyes back to yours, “Can I kiss you, Y/n?”

You nodded, forcing a small smile. Within a flash, he pressed his lips into yours. Your mouths fit perfectly, dancing together with a hot rhythm. He controls the kiss, pulling you closer to him. He swipes his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance as you submitted to him, opening your mouth slightly so that his tongue can slip in. You moaned in the kiss as your tongues fought for dominance which he easily won.

His right hand slid down your stomach until it reached the hem of your shirt, tugging it playfully. His hand was so close to where you badly needed him, but you were too shy to ask. You whined as you teasingly wiggled your ass. He groaned at your movements, his dick already painfully hard against his jeans. He moves his hand further down until he ghosts it above your underwear. “Can I touch you here babygirl?”

“Yes, p-please.” You closed your eyes as you felt his hand cup your heat, you can feel your wetness soaking through the fabric. “Shit, Y/n. You’re so wet.” He presses his long fingers against the thin cloth firmly, making you moan. You can feel his member twitch beneath you. “Did your punishment made you this wet, huh? You’re so goddamn naughty, baby.” He growls as he pushes your underwear to the side as he collects your juices with two fingers, sliding them up and down teasingly. You moan out his name, the feeling of his fingers were already too much for you. He slid his digits up and down, soaking them until he brings his hand in front of your mouth. “Taste yourself, baby.”

You brought your face closer as you wrapped your mouth around his fingers, sucking them clean. Your own taste wasn’t unfamiliar, as you have done that many times before. He bit his lip as he groaned, loving the feeling of your mouth sucking on his digits as you would on his cock. He bought his hand back down and abruptly slid two fingers inside your pussy, making you gasp loudly. You rolled your eyes back and your mouth formed an ‘o’. “F-fuck, Jungkook.”

He slowly thrusts his digits in and out, producing lewd and wet noises. “A-ahh, p-please. Faster.” You begged, making him smirk. “Hmm, faster? Want it faster?”

You nod vigorously as he complies, fucking your hole faster and harder. The lustful sounds that it made plus seeing how his arms flex makes you moan out loud. You rest your forehead on his right shoulder, your body giving up on you. He chuckles, fucking you even faster. “You like that, baby?”

“Yes.” You moaned, closing your eyes tightly as you felt a familiar knot on your stomach. He can feel you clenching around his fingers, signaling your high.

“You look so fucking hot, Y/n. You gonna come for me baby? Come on, spill your cum all over my fingers.” He suddenly presses his thumb on your clit, making you jump from the addition of pleasure. He rubs your clit roughly, making you whine against his tshirt. “I-I’m gonna…”

You couldn’t finish your sentence as you clenched your walls around his fingers tightly, your cum coating his digits. “Fuuuuck”, you dragged out, legs shaking. You haven’t come this hard before, and the feeling was all new for you. It was addicting. “Shit,” he chuckles, removing his fingers and tasting your cum. He made you look at him as he wraps his mouth around his own fingers, keeping his eye contact on yours. “Taste better than I imagined it, love.”

He places his hands underneath your arms as he lifts you up, and placed you down on the soft mattress of your bed. He hovers above you, removing his shirt and exposing his abs that you’ve seen countless of times. You whined, crossing your legs together at the sight. He chuckles, moving a hand in between your thighs and parting them away from each other. “I’m gonna clean you up, babygirl.”

He moves himself down, removes your underwear as he positions his head in between your thighs. He licks a bold stripe from your entrance up to your clit, making you moan out loud. You were still so sensitive from the orgasm you had earlier, and your legs were shaking from the pleasure. He held your hips down with his hands as he licks you clean. “You taste so fucking sweet baby.” He groans, diving in into your wetness and collecting your juices. You tugged on his hair, making him moan against your pussy. The vibration made your insides turn from the immense pleasure. He starts wrapping his lips around your little bundle of nerves, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue around it at the same time. His actions made you tug on his hair harder and scream out loud.

Little did you know you were cumming for a second time, legs frantically shaking as you spilled on his mouth. He was quick to catch everything with his mouth, not wanting to waste even a little drop of your cum.

He brings his mouth upwards to yours, making you taste yourself on him for a second time. “Jungkook…” you whined, wanting more.

He removes your shirt, exposing your bare chest for him that results to a guttural moan coming from him. He kneads your breasts, making you whimper, the little buds hardening. He kneels in front of you, undoing the buttons of his jeans and pulling the zip down. Being impatient, you reached out to remove his jeans but his hands were faster and he refrained you from doing your plan. “Nuh-uh, be patient,” he smirks. He pulls his jeans down with his boxers, revealing his manhood.

You whined, seeing how hard he has become because of you made you bit you lip. He strokes his cock a couple of times, his precum helping him in sliding his hand much smoother. You loved watching him like this in front of you, how his abs and biceps flex in front of you, his forehead sweaty and how he groans your name out lout. You couldn’t even believe that this was actually happening in front of you.

He positions himself at your entrance, supporting his weight with his forearms. “W-wait, Jungkook!” Your eyes widen from the sudden realization, placing your hands on his sweaty chest. He stops his tracks, furrowing his brows. “Yes, baby?”

“Protection.” You smirk at him as you reached towards your bedside drawer and grabbing a condom from the box you hid by covering it with colored paper, so no one could suspect a thing. Jungkook chuckles as you hand him the rubber, sliding it down his shaft. “You’re so fucking cute, you know that?”

He places the tip at your entrance, sliding just the tip until you’ve gotten used to his size. You breathed heavily, clawing his back. “Go on.” You whispered and he slid his cock inside of you. The both of you moaned, closing your eyes and getting used to the feeling. You were so tight around him, your walls clenching and it took him lots of self-control to not pound into you just like that.

“Jungkook – ah shit, you’re so big.”

He groans, followed by a chuckle, “Yeah?”

“Yes, so big.”

After a moment, you motioned for him to move. You were so wet already that it was easy for him to ease himself in and out of you. He pulled out until the very tip was at your entrance, then abruptly pounds into you unexpectedly. He did this a few times, making you scream out in pleasure. “O-oh, Jungkook!”

“That’s right baby, scream out my name so that the neighbors can hear who’s making you feel this good.” He groans in your ear, fucking you roughly. Rapid breathing, moans, and the skin-slapping sounds were the only noise thing filling this room. You just hoped that your brother wasn’t home yet.

He suddenly brings his right up to your neck, wrapping it around your throat as he chokes you just right. You roll your eyes back from the pleasure. The feeling of his big hand wrapped around your jugular plus his hard and deep thrusts almost made you cum then and there.

“You liked being choked, don’t you, Y/n?” he chuckles, gripping your throat a little tighter and fucking you harder, “You said it in your blog, right? Its one of your dirty little fantasies.” He whispers. You only nod, struggling to form any sentence in your brain.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me, hmm? Letting me take over your cute little body as I ruin you,” he smirks cockily as he pounds harder, making you scream as you close your eyes tight. “Have you been dreaming about this, baby? Do you have dreams about me fucking you hard and rough like this?”

“Y-yes,” you faintly reply, scratching his back with your nails. That action made him throw his head back in pleasure, revealing his neck that had protruding veins on the sides. “I always thought that you were such a pure and innocent little girl, baby. I never thought that you’d be this dirty.” His thrusts were even roughly than before – and boy does he have good stamina.

“A-ahh, Jungkook, I’m gonna…” You can feel yourself pulsing around him again and he groans darkly, using his free hand to rub your clit harshly. “You gonna come for me again, yeah? Come on baby, you can do it.”

You were feeling so fucked out already but you want to cum for the third time today. He presses his chest on yours, both sweaty bodies colliding and as close as you could possibly get. His thrusts became sloppy, signaling that his high was close as well. “Hold it in.”

Your eyes widen at him, creasing your brows. “W-what?”

You couldn’t hold it it, you couldn’t. The way how he pounds into you makes it hard for you to prevent your cum to spill all over his member. “I-I can’t,” you shake your head. Jungkook groans, feeling how tight you’ve become. “I know you can. Fucking hold it in, baby. We’re gonna come together.”

He fucked you faster and harder until he was almost about to come, “Now, angel, cum with me.” The both of you released together and it was pure bliss. You couldn’t contain how hard your legs were trembling from how intense your orgasm was. You covered your mouth with your hand as your orgasm kept going. “S-shit, baby.” Jungkook chuckles, “You came so fucking hard.” He tilts his head to the side, admiring your exquisite body quivering from the pleasure. He removed the condom that was filled with cum and tied it, throwing it on the bin at the corner of your room. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss on your lips, trying to calm you down as he ran his hands down your sides. “Hey, hey,” he smiles, pressing down on your hips and trapping them on the mattress, “breathe, babygirl.”

You mustered out a weak smile and you giggled, “Jungkook…” you tried to form words but your body didn’t let you, you were absolutely fucked out. He laughs quietly, brushing away the strands of hair that were stuck on your forehead. “You did so good for me, really. So good.” He whispered, pressing a kiss on your lips once again.

Jungkook stands up and swoops you bridal style and carried you towards your bathroom. He sat you on top of the marble counter as he searches the cupboards for a towel. You were still breathing a little rapidly, your chest heaving up and down. He returns back to you with a towel and he cleans you up with it. The rough side of Jungkook that you had just seen has now disappeared and you were greeted with a sweet and caring side of him. “Jungkook, uh, for real…” you started, he looked at you for a mere second and continued his little duty on you, “Hmm?”

“Im sorry for, well, making that blog. I, um…I just really, really like you a lot and I couldn’t help myself.” You looked down with a blush creeping your face. You heard him scoff playfully and he made you focus your gaze at him. “Y/n, don’t be sorry about that. It’s normal for us humans to feel like that for another person, okay? I like you too.”

Your eyes widen and your heartbeat almost stops from his sudden confession, “Y-you do?”

“Yes, silly. Why would I fuck you like that if I’m not attracted to you?”

“Oh,” you begin to blush even more, making him chuckle. “You’re so cute, really, Y/n.”

“Wait, what about Taehyung though? W-what if he finds out about us?”

Jungkook smiles as he positions himself in between your legs. He pressed a gently kiss on your chin, to your nose, then up to your forehead. “Angel,” he starts, “I’ve actually told Tae countless of times how much I like her little sister.” He chuckles when your eyes enlarge once again, “he knows that I like you, and I think he’s gonna be fine with it.”

You couldn’t help but to feel a sudden relief. Thank god.

Abruptly, a loud knock on the bedroom door interrupts your mood, “Hey, assholes! I hope you know that Y/n’s room isn’t soundproof at all, and I heard everything!”

You and Jungkook looked at each other at the same time with a cheeky smile plastered on your faces, “Shit.”

____________

Check out my masterlist on my blog for more and leave a note if you enjoyed, it will really inspire me to continue <3

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omniswords · 4 years

Text

Chronicles of a Parisian Dumbass 3

also known, in my list of docs, as “chill your chichis, luka.”

i think this might be becoming a habit

hey siri, when does a habit become a problem?

actually i don’t think i wanna know the answer to that.

Luka goes back to Tom and Sabine’s at least two more times within the week, and at least one more time after that. And every single time, the girl with the dark hair and the sketchbook and the blue, blue eyes is at the counter. Tapping that pencil, playing that tasteful music, so focused it’s almost scary. He even tries to space out his visits, just so he won’t look desperate or like he’s coming by just for her. (Even if… admittedly… part of the reason he does come by was in the hopes that she’s there.) He just happens to be, it seems, the victim of dumb good luck.

Or maybe just dumb luck.

To his credit, he carries himself pretty well whenever he talks to her. Keeps their transactions and conversations short and simple, waits for his orders in the relative quiet of the shop—mostly because he’s afraid of making a fool of himself any more than he already has. The second time, she’s already speaking with another customer; her eyes are bright, her smile just as sweet, and even though it isn’t directed at him, a part of him feels so goddamn blessed to hear her say, “Enjoy, monsieur! Have a good day!”

And then she gets to him, and her expression mellows out. “Oh, yes,” she says, her nails trailing over the spine of her trusty, mysterious sketchbook. “I remember you. What can I get for you today?”

In the moment, he doesn’t care if she doesn’t remember his name. The fact that she remembers his face is enough to quietly send him over the moon. “Just the napoleon this time,” he says, and then, after the pause when he hands her his card, “So… about that macaron.”

(He’s already kicking himself.)

The girl seems unaffected. “What macaron?”

“The first time I came,” he says. “I didn’t order one, but there was one in my box.”

“Oh, that.” She hands him back his card, along with a receipt to sign. (This time, he notices his name at the bottom.) “It was a special promo we had going. Buy five pastries, get a macaron for free.”

Luka looks up from the receipt, stomach churning, fingers twitching. “I only bought four.”

The girl seems to freeze for a moment, and this time around, the pink on her cheeks is unmistakeable. “Sorry about that, then,” she murmurs. “I guess I was just excited about it.”

It isn’t until after she’s called his name and handed him the little box, after he’s walked out of the shop with the sound of his name still ringing in his ears, that he realizes there was no promo advertised anywhere in the bakery.

It makes him consider leaving the note again.

He’s been thinking about doing it since the first day—when he was waiting for his order and minding his tongue over the music—and he still can’t tell if he regrets not doing it. He’ll be the first to admit he isn’t exactly the best at speaking words, and he’d probably make an even bigger fool of himself if he whipped out his guitar and started playing all the things he felt himself wanting to say in the moment. Like a walking anyway, here’s “Wonderwall” guy in the corner of a house party.

A note, though. That feels like a happy medium. Getting the feelings out without it being too intrusive, or too much of a sentimental tryhard. It seems more and more doable with each time he stops by. And it’s really only a matter of composing the message in his head: Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted you to know that I think you’re pretty—

Wait, no…

I wanted you to know that I couldn’t stop watching you that first day—

Oh, God, no. That actually is creepy.

Maybe this is a wild guess, but I think your name starts with an M because of the macaron, and there are lots of nice names that starts with the letter M, and whatever yours is, I’m sure it’s pretty—

Now it’s just getting worse. He’s not even totally sure about the letter M thing. For all he knows, it could stand for “macaron.” The literal thing he ate.

Why is this so much harder than actually talking to her? It’s supposed to be the other way around. It’s always been the other way around, no matter how much it looks like he can get away with it or cover it up.

He knows one thing for sure. He can’t leave his number on the note. Because leaving his number is effectively hitting on her, and he knows better than to hit on someone while they’re working. He heard it in a podcast once: never ask someone out if they don’t have a way to get away. Not to mention the fact that she’s there to do her job, not waste her time on people trying to chat her up and tie up the business line. He knows better. He knows better.

But something in him says that life is too short not to compliment people, genuinely. Life is too short to hold in your heart every nice thing you could say to someone—to lock it away where they’re guaranteed to never hear it. He’s told himself this, even tweeted it with slightly clammy hands right in the middle of refusing to take his own advice.

He figures it out eventually. It only takes days on end, but it comes to him as a flash just before work, the way the right melody tends to do. He scribbles it on a shred of paper from the lyric notebook he shares with Rose and stuffs it in his pocket before he can even give himself the opportunity to reread it or throw it away, and then he’s walking his bike down the gangplank of the Liberty and pedaling away like his life depends on it. Because if he doesn’t do it now, he never will. Because life is too short, and he’d like to get busy actually spending the rest of it.

Hey there. I don’t mean to intrude on your day or anything, and feel free to toss this if it makes you roll your eyes or whatever. I just wanted to tell you that your eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I’ve ever seen. And that you’re incredibly pretty. That’s all. I hope you have a good rest of your day, because you deserve it.

--Luka

P.S. You already know my name. I hope one day I’ll get to know yours.

P.P.S. If that’s cool.

It’s the best he’s going to get. And it’s everything he can do not to write any more postscripts.

When he gets to Tom and Sabine’s, the shop is—as it has been the last few times he’s come by—empty except for the music and the girl. Except this time, she’s looking at him directly as soon as the bell over the door rings. Like she’s been expecting him. He won’t be so presumptuous about it, but he can’t help hoping that that might be the case. She looks curious at first, but then her expression melts into familiarity, and she closes her sketchbook. “Let me guess,” she says by way of greeting, already tightening up her apron and her high ponytail and tapping at the screen at the register. “A pear tart and a napoleon.”

Well, it’s better than what he thought she might say.

Luka heaves a nervous laugh as he approaches the register, but manages to say, “Just for that, I’m ordering a pain au chocolat.” If anything, he’ll give all the credit to his customer service experience. Knowing the worst of what’s happened to him is sometimes enough to remind him that he can get through a conversation, even with the bumps in the road.

The girl grins, her eyes sparkling. Just the eyes he wrote about—maybe doesn’t want to “Oh yeah? Keeping me on my toes, huh?”

“Someone has to,” he says; he pauses to wonder why he even said that, if they’re even friendly enough that he could say something like that. If they could even technically be friends. He gets the sense, though, that the girl can’t tell what he’s thinking, which means he’s doing all right at hiding it. He reaches for his back pocket to cover it up even more, not wanting to think about how much money he’s spent here this week.

It’s when his fingers brush against the crease of the note that his stomach twists, seems to pop open and let every ounce of adrenaline spill into him. He clutches the note, too, before he can overthink giving it away—before he can regret writing it or not handing it over. He focuses on his debit card first, lets the overhead music attempt to calm him as he goes through all the motions of paying. It happens to be from one of his favorite bands—well, technically, it’s one guy with a rotation of musicians, but it’s still a band—and he finds himself tapping his sneakers to the beat, faintly humming along. She really does have good taste…

“Here,” Luka says a little too fast when she slides a paper bag across the counter. He trades it for the note, which is a little wrinkled from being in his pocket but otherwise intact. He holds his breath, meets her eyes, the blue that’s been getting to him these days. “This is for you.” A part of him wants to say, I promise it’s not my number, but even that seems like a downward spiral of bad choices. Justifications that won’t come out quite right.

Luka takes the box and turns on his heel before he can think to take it back, or before she can say no thank you. Because hearing that means insisting in return, and he doesn’t know if he has the constitution to do that when he’s never wanted to push, when it feels like his mind is swimming and his face is burning. He already knows what he’s going to post online as soon as he gets out of here and rounds the corner: “life’s too short not to tell people you think they’re pretty,” i say, choking up and bolting out of the best bakery in paris. and then, it’s official, i can never come here again. He hasn’t decided whether he wants to tack an lmao on the end of that one, or whether that would be too cynical.

But the girl doesn’t say no thank you. In fact, she doesn’t say anything at all. There’s only the crinkle of paper as she unfolds the note behind him, which makes him pause at the door. He feigns checking the time on his phone; still half an hour before he needs to report to work. Maybe if he holds out long enough, she might call out to him or something.

But what if she tosses the note after all?

But, God, what if she doesn’t?

He can’t bear to turn around.

“Marinette!” a voice calls from the back—it’s Mr. Dupain’s, gruff but hearty and adoring, the way he seems to speak to almost everyone. Luka tries not to jolt too much in surprise. “I need some help with these baguettes!”

There’s another crinkle of paper, another snap of a notebook. “I’m coming,” the girl calls back, and Luka would swear that something about her voice sounds… sweeter. Something from the sparkle of her eyes trickled in.

He smiles to himself, and pushes the door open, and tries in vain to ease the pounding of his heart.

Marinette. What a name. It’s as beautiful as her eyes. He mouths it when he has a moment alone, because saying it out loud feels a little sacred even for someone he’s only really met a few days ago, and maybe partly because if he says it once, he won’t want to stop saying it, and someone’s bound to think he’s off his rocker if they find him like that.

Marinette. Even her name sounded like it belonged to the sea. He wants to say it to the Seine, tell it a secret the way he’s done ever since he was a kid.

Instead, he plays the song from the bakery in his head again, and savors every bite of his bread, and licks the chocolate off his thumb before he dares to pull out his phone.

okay, fine. life is too short, not to tell people they’re pretty, period.

so CBG, i don’t know if you needed to hear that or something, but i can’t say i regret telling you.

#fic: chronicles of a parisian dumbass #lukanette #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng

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shannygoatgruff · 4 years

Text

My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter V

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Characters: Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk

Rating: MA 18+

Overall Warning: Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.

Chapter Warning: Angst, talk of violence, drug use

Summary: Mama always said to be their brothers’ keeper. Now there is absolutely nothing these two won’t do for each other. Boys will be boys…

Chapter V

I can't figure out why I'm so edgy today. For all intents and purposes, I should be pretty fucking happy. I had a great time last night. I slept well, took a good shit this morning, and had a delicious breakfast with Ivar. Instead of pancakes, today, he made French toast. I was thoroughly impressed.

I even worked on a few things in the basement while I waited for Thora’s morning classes to be done. I meant it last night when I told her I wanted to spend the day with her today. I just wish that I was in a better mood now. ‘Cause right now, everything is annoying the fuck out of me.

Sometimes, I can’t stand how childish Thora is. I mean, she’s a grown-ass woman, so why does her room look like a five-year-old’s? Everything in here is a hideous shade of pink. Stupid fucking unicorns, teddy bears, and little porcelain things decorate her shelves and her bed is always perfectly made up with a fluffy pink and white comforter. It’s just all so…innocent.

I shouldn’t be all that surprised – her room reminds me of her. Sweet…girly…fucking perfect, just like her. It’s fucking sickening. Sometimes everything I love about her, the fact that she’s so different from the people I like to party with is the one thing about her that drives me fucking insane.

I need to get out of this room and get some air before I break every fucking thing in here.

I walk out of her dorm and outside into the chilly afternoon. The autumn breeze is cool on my face and helps me focus on something other than my uneasiness. It’s so crisp out here, today. Believe it or not, this is my favorite time of year to party. I don’t know what it is about the fall, but people seem to be out more than they are in the spring or the summer. Maybe it’s the wonderful colors of the season or the smell of the decaying leaves? Whatever it is, people seem to come out in droves and I’m fucking here for it. There are so many more adventurous people that are willing to party this time of year, it gets my blood racing.

Jesus, am I still thinking about partying? Normally, the day after Ivar and I go out, I just concentrate on being with my girl. Being with her helps me put my life back in perspective. She’s my reminder of what my other life is going to be like when I get this hunger under control. She helps dull the cravings for a few more days before the gnawing starts again and I need to feed it. I know I’ve been wanting to party more often than I usually do, but it’s never been the next day. Being around her is supposed to help me forget about it.

But, right now it’s not working.

I need to get myself together because when I’m with Thora, she depends on me to take care of her. I do for her what Ivar does for me. Besides giving me something else to concentrate on other than finding the next one, when I’m with her, I just want to comfort her. Especially, since she cries a lot. She's like a little girl that's not in control of her emotions. Whether she's happy, sad, or scared, the tears are the same. I know it sounds weird, but I like when she cries. I think it’s because I can usually make it all better. At least, I'm so busy trying, that partying doesn't cross my mind…not a lot anyway.

Today, though, I can’t comfort a damn soul. Not with my heart about to jump out of my chest. This fucking anxiety is overwhelming. I had fun last night so I shouldn't even want to again this soon.

I should be able to ignore this. It's not like I can't function without it. It's more irritating than anything, like a constant nagging. I like I can hear it calling me from far away, but it's getting louder by the minute. I bet it was because I had to rush last night. I was so busy trying to finish before that guy died and shitted on me that I finished too quickly. That’s got to be the reason. That is exactly why I hate rushing.

If we go out tonight I'm gonna do it slowly; take my time and do it right. I'm going to do everything I want and I won't give myself a time limit. That's the only way to make my palms stop sweating and get my heart to stop beating like I’m running a goddamn marathon. Yeah, going slow will make it better. It has to because I hate this feeling.

I reach my forefinger and thumb into the small change pocket of my jeans and retrieve the two pills there. Without hesitation, I pop the two Klonopin in my mouth before taking a healthy sip from my water bottle. I wish I had something stronger. That reminds me that Ivar and I need to visit that guy he knows across town to reup on party favors. What kind of hosts would we be if we didn’t keep libations to put our guests in the mood? We’ve really been slacking, lately. I know for at least the past week, I haven’t been all that impressed with our selection. I’ve just been reaching in the bottom of the bowl and using whatever I pick up. I haven’t been properly stoned in at least 5 days. This shit is amateur hour. But, it’s better than nothing to take the edge off.

My hand shakes as I bring that guy’s lighter to the end of my cigarette, but it stops as soon as the taste of menthol enters my mouth. My lungs open up, clouding with thick smoke and a sudden calm washes over me. My eyes close on their own as the head rush takes over. It's not as good as I’ll feel when these pills kick in, but it'll do for right now.

Thora’s arms come around my waist and I roll my head over to look at her. She looks like she's worried about me. I have been a little quiet today, and there's no good explanation I can give her. She just thinks I'm not feeling well.

I'm not.

"You okay?" Her lips poke out in a pout as she rests her chin on my arm. She can't see the bruise on my shoulder under my long sleeve shirt, but it hurts. I think it happened carrying the blonde from the front seat to the warehouse. It was hard to maneuver him from the way he was sitting in the car to draping him over my shoulder. I must have bumped up against the car door or something because now I have a huge bruise.

Trying not to flinch, my arm comes around her shoulder and I pull her closer to me. "Fine." For the most part that's true. I do feel better holding her, I just don’t know long this reprieve will last.

"Let's go for a walk." She grabs my hand and I follow behind her.

My lips start to turn up into a smirk and Thora turns to me and smiles. I feel a little twinge of guilt because she thinks my look is about her. Honestly, I’m thinking about the fact that her campus is crawling with people that I could party with. If Ivar were here right now, we'd have a fucking field day. There are so many bored people around just looking to have fun. We could have our pick of them and show them the best time. There no telling some of the shit we could get to if we just let our imaginations run wild.

As the leaves crunch under my feet, I watch the way Thora kicks them with each step she takes. She's so graceful and childlike; she's going to make the perfect mother for my children. This hobby is just that, a hobby. I don’t understand how Ivar can doubt my decision. Watching the impish way Thora moves, the concerned way she stares, the careful way she worries about me, I know that when this over it'll work out with us. She's exactly the transition I need from this phase of life to my next one.

She loves me and I think I love her. At least that's what I tell myself all the time. I love that I'm going to marry her and that she's going to raise my children. I love that she's so innocent and that she knows that I won't hurt her. I love the way she needs me. That means I love her, right? It doesn't matter really. I will love the life that I'm supposed to have with her.

Her hand grips mine tighter as we approach the people standing in the middle of the quad. Something is off. They're all huddled around one guy, hanging on his every word, whispering to each other, shrugging, and offering sympathy every now and again. Thora's arms wrap around mine and her head leans on my shoulder like she's feeling their pain. "His boyfriend didn't come home last night," she says quietly to me.

I look from her worried blue eyes to the blue-green eyes of the dark-haired man standing there. His red-rimmed eyes are swollen from crying and yet look sunken in on his pale face. The look of terror in his eyes is reminiscent of the way Thora looks when she talks about Ivar. He's petrified and for some reason, my stomach starts to drop because of it.

The toe of my Doc Marten creates a small hole in the ground as I twist my foot to extinguish the cigarette. I can't stop staring as Thora moves to stand in front of the tall, brunette. She must know him. Looking at her face, I can tell she’s feeling his pain. It's enough to make me want to hurt him so he can stop hurting her.

"Kalf, still no word?"

Fresh tears spring to Kalf’s eyes when he shakes his head. "We fought last night.” He uses his entire hand to wipe the tears running down his face, “A few people said they saw him dancing at Danger, but then he just disappeared.” His voice starts to crack with each word as his fear starts to get the better of him, “We fight all the time, but he always comes home. He hasn't called or anything. Erlendur always calls."

"Maybe he just needs time to get his head together." My voice comes out soft and unsure. I don't even know why I spoke.

When Thora's teary eyes turn in my turn in my direction, my throat starts to close.

Erlendur. This Erlendur is the guy from last night, he has to be. He was the one at Danger. He was the one that talked about his boyfriend with Ivar as we walked to the car.

Shit! His name was Erlendur. He wasn't just the blonde tramp that we met at a club, but a kid; a college student with a boyfriend and friends, including my girl. He had a real-life like he was a real person. Why the fuck did he have to be real? He was just supposed to be a good time, not a person with a life outside of that moment.

By the time I open my eyes and steady myself on my feet, Thora's arms are around me again. I can't stand to be around her right now. Those innocent blue eyes are tearing into me at a level like I've never known before. Thora is hurting and it's because of me. She's worried about her friend because of something I did. I'm supposed to be the one to protect her and I've done just the opposite.

Kalf's concerned eyes for Erlendur are exactly how Thora's eyes cloud over with concern for me. "Hvitserk? Are you alright?"

My head shakes as I try to keep myself from throwing up. "I don't feel so hot. I'm gonna take off." I offer her a smile to keep her calm, but she doesn't seem to be convinced by it. Her forehead is warm on my lips and her body is soft in my arms, but this is all I can give her right now. The guilt is like molten lava creeping up my neck. I know my cheeks are turning red and the pounded in my head lets me know right away that this isn't going to end well. "I'll call you later."

Turning to Kalf, I stuff my hands in my pockets and refuse to meet his eyes. "I hope your friend turns up soon."

I barely manage to get around the building before I bend at the waist and try to catch my breath. I hate to hyperventilate. My hands rest on the top of my thighs as I try to control my breathing. I'm almost gulping in the air but it isn't helping. The only thing it's doing is making my throat burn and my lungs feel like they're going to explode.

"Fucking, Erlendur. Motherfucker." Muffled curses pour from my lips, while I stumble my way to the car door. The wheezing in my chest doesn't stop, but it slows when I focus my attention on the fact that that fucker had a fucking name.

I don't give a fuck about him or what we did to him. It does bother me though that the people he left behind are worried. They have no idea how we partied with him. They don't know that my face was the last one he saw before he stopped breathing altogether. Would Thora cry if she knew that Ivar beat him and skinned parts of his body? Would she be devastated if she knew that his skull was probably cracked when I slammed his head on the table repeatedly? Would it break her heart to know that we set him on fire and stood around to watch his body burn?

I can't hurt Thora. She needs me and I did this to her. I can't handle knowing that.

I don't know how I make it home, but when I look up, I'm already barefoot and climbing the stairs.

I feel sick, shaky... confused. I don't know what to do. The only thing I can do is open Ivar's door and close it quietly behind me. He's taking a nap, but he must have heard me come in because his head rises from his pillow right before he pulls back his covers.

My movements are slow, but I manage to make it to his bed and tuck myself in close to him. "Erlendur. His fucking name was Erlendur." My voice cracks while I try to catch my breath. "He was real, Ivar. He had a name and a life and friends, and…"

"Shhhh, baby. It's alright." His voice is a gentle whisper and his safe arms wrap protectively around me. He lovingly rubs my back while rocking me softly, "I'm here, Serk."

Nodding my head against his chest, I feel the tears slip from my eyes. "Make it better." This is where I need to be. “Hold me tight.” I just need to be in his arms and let him protect me as only he can. "Promise me you won’t let me go."

His warm lips kiss the tears falling from the corner of my eye before he presses them to my forehead, “Never,” I feel him whisper against my skin.

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