#BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM GIVEN IDEA PRIVILEGES LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hero-israel · 8 months

Note

I wanted to apologize again for the rant. I barely remember writing it (which is kinda terrifying). I saw your suggestion to breathe and I’m trying lol. But I saw that it angered a number of people in the notes and I wanted to reiterate:

-I try and fight by finding information that combats the vast array of misinformation and spread the correct information. I’m an anxiety ridden non confrontational person and people online tend to be five times more eloquent than me. So basically all I can do is “spread the word.” The more people see the whole picture, the better, right? With my own mental struggles, I’ll see some horrid information, try and find where it came from and how it spread. When it’s everywhere ( on so many news outlets) and I don’t know what to do, I freak out. The awful Congo rumors are an example. Given the government has pulled back on those words, the best thing to call them at this point are rumors, right?

It’s surreal where I am. I am well aware I’m privileged. I count my blessings, and I worry over those that don’t. (Every story and testimony I hear about the female hostages in particular make me feel helpless and sick to my stomach. So much talk about the crisis women in Gaza are facing, but nothing about the conditions of female hostages. You have to actively search to find out, and it’s usually independent sources spreading the word of what released hostages have said).

And all of the conflict where I am is online. In the outside world, off of the local college campus, (which I think I said. I apologize again, I think I wrote the previous message in a panic,) people are only interested in their coffee. I count myself lucky that I have yet to encounter real life anti semitic situations when I know they’re happening a few hours away from me in larger cities. I am in no financial/economical position to volunteer in Israel to help relocate and aid the displaced in the south, as it came to my attention that there are international volunteers going over. I found out about Stand Together, which I tend to look into. I heard it’s a good organization. And then there’s….Tzedaka? Idk. I just know there are some good Israeli based organizations that give aid, but I can’t remember their names. I’d recognize them if someone said them.

I’m astonished I wrote that much? So I’m going to have to step back. I at least know domestically, I can help by getting the right people elected and combat misinformation. Biden will at least give everyone the freedom to fight with words. Trump would take away freedom of the press and chop free speech in half first chance he gets. I wonder about Nikki Haley, but I’m skeptical she will win the primary.

I don’t understand a lot of what’s going on because I feel like I keep wandering through muck. but I try. When I don’t get what I’ll looking for through news sources, I ask here. It’s easy to tell when news is biased these days and what’s telling the whole story these days. I think I struggle to comprehend how small Israel is sometimes and the idea of everyone being out on the field. (And I understand it’s a privilege to struggle to comprehend such a thing, if that makes sense). I keep thinking there must be people at their homes to fight the government when the government is being stupid, like the protests that happened during COVID, while at the same time I read today about a 95 year old man volunteering to work in the IDF. I try and figure out what’s going on with the regular every day people in Israel, knowing there’s active IDF and volunteers helping the displaced and any Gazans fleeing (though I think the border at the moment is closed, I could be wrong). Is it like Ukraine where quite literally anyone that is physically and economically able to do something is doing something to help?

I read yesterday that a vote may be held? That makes me hopeful. But it’s rare to vote a prime minister or president out of office in the middle of war. And it came to my attention that Israeli politics are as divided as American politics are. I knew they were divided before the war began, as I knew about the two massive protests that happened. I didn’t realize /how/ divided they were until recently. It seems are just more lines drawn in the sand in Israel than there are in the States, and there are more factions and coalitions in Israel. And while there’s not as many lines drawn in the States, the existing lines run deep, and they’re getting vicious. I don’t know how bad the lines drawn are in Israel.

So uh yeah, to everyone, I’m sorry for any misunderstandings. I ramble more than I am eloquent. I’ll take my anxiety ridden butt offline for the moment. I’ll come back better. And thank you specifically for reminding me to breathe

The responses from Israelis on the original post are worth reading.

I didn't have the time or space to address every point of the first post and I still don't for this one, but I can say this much:

When someone is struggling with anxiety, it can leave them prone to doom-spirals even during "normal" levels of bad news. Right now for every Jew except the ~240,000 remaining Holocaust survivors, the news is worse than we've ever seen in our lives. We are all feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to help, how to chip in. If it has indeed reached the level of panic - which you described as severe enough to leave you with "missing" time / actions - it's okay to really take some time off from this, to get help. It's okay to set a literal timer on your phone for how much you engage - to give yourself one hour every other day, and stick to it. No one is helped by a person getting so deep into crisis that they can't function.

You mentioned the programs where people can travel to Israel to help keep farms operational and stuff care packages for displaced families - perhaps you yourself aren't in a position to do that, but could you instead try to encourage other people to do it? Can a local synagogue recommend a phone-banking effort?

The Congo stuff is not a "rumor" - it is "jerking off." Someone idly speculating / wishing to do something which they have neither power nor mechanism to do. It is significantly less real than the time Trump talked about buying Greenland; put it in that context.

Israel is a tiny country, with genocidal fascist militias parked on its northern and southern borders; the reason they can't just pull out of the West Bank is because if not properly managed it would immediately turn into another Gaza but bigger and on top of a mountain range with all of Israel's biggest cities at the bottom. The country is now forced to mobilize for self-defense in a way most Americans can't imagine; if my math is correct, about 4% of the entire population is on active duty within Gaza now, and they all left their families and day jobs behind.

Your prior post asked "can't sensible Israelis stop Netanyahu?" - they've been trying very hard and the outside world has no clue. There were massive protests and riots near-nonstop for a year, including a general strike that shut down the entire country - shut down the hotels and the airport! - that actually managed to get the judicial overhaul postponed. When it did come back, it was in a weaker form (still awful), and then the courts were able to erase the very worst of it and postpone other parts. As an American who has done my fair share of door-to-door canvassing, protesting, and """awareness-raising""", I wish American progressives and centrists had been that successful when it came to, say, the Iraq War, or gun control, or protecting Roe...

There is no imminent vote on the current government (there are municipal elections coming very soon, but those are less important). The next national election - the kind you're thinking of - is October 2026. Which is awful to think about and I sincerely hope the government collapses long before then, as Israeli governments have tended to do for the last 5-6 years.

In general, the most reliable news sources are TOI and Ynetnews, and I listed some good resources here.

I hope this was somewhat helpful and that you are able to reach a better place while still finding a way to defend our community.

28 notes · View notes

feralkwe · 2 months

Note

For the DT questions meme, 2, 12, and 18

i love how we nearly same-brained these questions. xoxo

under a cut for spoilers.

2. what was the first thing they did when they arrived in tuliyollal?

kit took a moment to stand on the shore and just absorb everything into her senses. the sound of the waves, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the air, the color of the sky. she was charged with seeing as much of the world as she could, and it's something she takes very seriously. everything about this voyage held the promise of a new adventure, and she was determined not only to commit it to memory, but to pause in the moment and experience it in ways that previous adventures had not allowed for. it marked what she needed and wanted to be a new chapter of life, and she paused to ground herself in that before taking steps forward.

12. what was their opinion of the culture of recycling souls and the use of regulators? did this change as the story progressed?

much like aubrey, she was utterly and wholly horrified. that very much did not change. given all of the loved ones--friends, mentors, lovers--whose souls have returned to the aetherial sea, she could not find any way to be okay with the idea of denying that rest and renewal of life to them. to the very depths of who she is it felt wrong and tragic in a way that made her physically ill. the more she thought about it the more angry she became and the more determined that it had to stop. not only that, but the removal of those souls from the memories of their loved ones terrified and devastated her. being able to remember those loved ones is a responsibility that, sure, comes with pain, but is a privilege to her as well. the charge to remember is what she considers perhaps her most important duty, and one she will see fulfilled in the names of those who carried it before her. there is no world where she would be able to accept it.

18. what important relationships changed or developed throughout dawntrail?

i knew before i read them all you'd pick this one for kit lol. obviously her relationship with thancred and urianger changed. ew ended with things uncertain for them, and dt offered a new opportunity to remember what drew them together in the first place while offering the fun of a friendly rivalry that was oddly healing. it also added another... shall we say element that i am still figuring out much to my own outrage. why do they keep doing this to me? some days i miss the simplicity that was just kit and urianger lol.

kit also always liked erenville, but they really had a chance to develop a friendship through dawntrail. getting to go on a journey with him alone was an incredible experience for her and she's come to care for him deeply. he quickly and easily elevated himself to a place where he is cherished by her.

most interesting to me is the way she was able to finally start the process of healing the rift between herself and g'raha. because my timeline for her has stb/shb/ew all happening one on top of the other, she's not really had the chance to address her harsh, ugly, and slightly unfair feelings toward him. where she'd cooled to indifference to his presence, there was finally a moment where she was able approach the pain. you know the one. she's known for a while that she was being too hard on him, and that he deserves her grace at least as much as emet-selch or elidibus did, but has been resistant to actually taking the steps to change that. i'm actually relieved, and look forward to digging into how that all played out.

also, the mentor/mentee relationship she's built with wuk lamat is something which has been very good for her. it's much different to the one she has with alisaie in ways i'm too tired to try and parse out right now, but probably relates to the hot girl warrior fun times they had. it was something which delighted me throughout the msq.

thanks for the asks! i had such a fun time with dawntrail and will take any opportunity to chatter about it!

#b plays ffxiv #kit hareington #from the annals of my askholebox #yamisnuffles #dawntrail #dawntrail spoilers #7.0 spoilers #character asks #ask memes

2 notes · View notes

onewomancitadel · 2 years

Text

A pop culture post for some reason sorry

Not really a fully expanded thought, but I'll try anyway: what I really don't like about the dismissal of pop culture is that when you study it, and the General Audience's reactions and investment in pop culture, you can see that it's a lot deeper than, 'Ok, average dummie just wants to see something shocking happen, or some smarmy quip.' I don't really agree with the 'people are dumb' refrain at all, especially if your impression of 'people' is the YouTube or Reddit comment section.

What I really bemoan is the underestimation and low opinion Big Studio has of its audience. I think perhaps the archetypal sentiment might be JJ Abrams who told Chris Pine in Star Trek (2009) to just say his lines because no one cares about the substantial content of what his character has to say anyway. Now obviously that comes from an anecdote Chris Pine shared himself, and perhaps in context it didn't sound as bad, but given Abrams and his oeuvre my assumption leans negative.

The idea that people are dumb and just want to see flashy stuff happen is not true. If you've ever paid attention to what people talk about I can tell you - to refute the JJ example above - a lot of people really care about character, not just plot twist or action. Of the recent media series I have spent time discussing with people IRL, lurking comments (not wholly representative of course), and generally paying attention to non-fandom space discussions, some of the stuff that really stuck from the Stranger Things series was Eleven, Steve, and in the first season, the Demogorgon. The lattermost I think is an example of iconographic response because the monster has an iconic design (iconic in the sense of, a real archetype monster with a design that really gets you), but the first two were a mix of well-performed character and actual character development. That substantial content matters, and ironically on the writing end of things character is often considered only secondary to plot.

I was thinking about this because of a similar example can be seen with The Last of Us, and whilst the series is going to get big as a television show, the GA takeaway was to be invested in the Joel and Ellie father-daughter dynamic... it wasn't just the shock value gore of the setting or character deaths.

It's harder for me to make an estimation about Marvel, because it's so huge, and I'm more familiar with SW as an adjacent major property (and that Kylo Ren is one of the very few characters with his own iconography and major audience response is telling... I don't only write this up to privilege but because his character is dynamic, and the other characters suffer across the whole trilogy), and I do think Marvel is guilty of spectacle over substance, there are characters like Iron Man who did a lot of heavy lifting when the movies were otherwise pretty boring. Lol.

So what am I trying to say? Big Studio underestimates its audience, and the people who make me look pretentious underestimate other people and don't look at what has happened to art as it as been corporatised, and neither of them really scrutinise what makes them successful. Where, say, I think you can identify the weakness with something like recent seasons of Stranger Things is when the character writing has fallen to the wayside, or wasn't meant to be the focus (like Steve, who was meant to die after the first season).

Besides, when you look at pop culture historically, the theory that people are dumb kind of falls apart... I do think that some people can be uncritical or not have fully developed palates for reasons beyond their own control or not, but that's not the same as being dumb or worth being underestimated - it's just reason for encouraging discovery. The problem with discovery is that it runs counter to market control, and that's... a much bigger topic than I can get into here lol.

Point being is that even if there are a lot of major media properties I don't find as interesting as they should be, there's still a lot to learn there, and I find it interesting to study in my own way lol. Some Marvel fans take it as a personal attack when you criticise it but I think if you really like something you can be confident about why you like it. What I don't like about Marvel is not necessarily something endemic to the superhero genre - it could have happened to any other malleable property and is happening to SW - and it's a shame that the films can never push the envelope creatively and ideologically (it's impressive when they get... like... kind of close lol).

I guess I also just don't like that cynicism of the imaginary, invisible consumer who just watches and thinks what they're told and the cynicism of my fellow countrymen who think other people are dumb. The cycle repeats and the divide grows.

#stirring the pot #'my fellow countrymen' was meant to be funny but no one's going to find it funny

4 notes · View notes

imptwins · 2 years

Text

Upcoming Teasers!

Thought I’d give y’all a bit of a preview of upcoming stories from me. And you get longer ones than on Twitter, how exciting.

The Gift that Keeps On Giving This will hopefully be done by the weekend, since it’s meant to be for a weekend writing event lol. If not maybe I’ll do half now half later. It’s based on the theme of ‘gift giving’ so it’s a Krusielle-focused smut-comedy story involving Christmas dinner, stealthy sex toys, family hi-jinx, and a few mixed signals.

The Bad Kind of Scary “Noelle has finally admitted her immense crush on the new girl and is working up the nerve to actually ask her out. But Noelle is a Holiday. Her mother is the cut-throat fiscally conservative mayor, her father the man who knew how and where to apply pressure to both get and keep that seat for her, and she's inheriting their privilege but not the acumen that they used to seize it. She's a straight-A student who is used to people bending over for her because everyone local knows she's destined for something greater, a shoe-in for politics, maybe even the kind to outgrow her little town. She hasn't really processed just how 'kill or be killed' the world can be.

It’s fun to have fluffy fantasies about an abrasive bully with a hidden heart of gold ready to bloom at the first show of kindness, a misled soul who just needs to be saved by a noble heart. But it’s not exactly realistic. Noelle's about to learn that the hard way.“

A dead dove Suselle fic mostly focusing on noncon and drugging. The concept started with that ‘The Newest Girl’ blog post and I’m sprinting for the fences with the idea of Noelle trying to ‘fix’ Susie and biting off way more than she can chew. It’s about 50% done so far and honestly features what I think is some of my best-ever work, I’m already incredibly proud of it on a pure writing level. The imagery is kind of awesome and is a microcosm of all the lessons I’ve been trying to learn over the last year.

Under the Ice “A hound can be trained to hunt monsters in the stead of men, and no stains will find your skin. But as you file their teeth to knives and whisper on the tenderness of flesh, as you instruct that copper is a fine wine until life dripping from hot to cold down their chin is just as intoxicating, know that they will never hunger for any throat as they do yours.

For all of the horror, for all of the self-loathing, Kris at least had the guilty comfort that hosting the Soul made them relatively safe. How wrong they are. The Soul taught Noelle to grow stronger, to take what she wants, and now she has decided exactly what that is.”

Dead dove Kriselle fic, featuring noncon and like... Identity tragedy? It’s kind of a weird take on abuse cycles given the supernatural puppeteer element, as well as a little bit of venting about how bored I am of every Snowgrave smut fic being the same.

Echoes in the Distance The fic previously known as Zetarune. Once I’m done with the above this will be getting a huge from-the-top edit spree including a rename because I don’t like its current one. Chapter 1 will also be almost entirely removed though still available separately ‘cus I think it detracts from the narrative and my reasons for having it there were mostly insecurity. The rest of the story will be tightened up, especially lore wise, a couple retcons here and there, and hopefully I can impart a lot of the lessons I’ve recently learned to just up the general quality.

Once I actually pick it back up please look forward to me finally breaking the months-long-at-this-point cliffhanger of what happens when the Bunker is opened. You’ll get to see what I’ve been planning for over a year. =)

Castaway Angels “Ten years ago the Underground opened, the world found out about the existence of monsters and their forgotten history, and even at that young age you knew you couldn't stay away. Lured by the promise of a kinder and fairer society - and perhaps a mildly insensitive fascination - you realize your dream when you secure an enrolment in one of their colleges, sell everything you own, and jump on a boat. You arrive in Ebott City with a wreck of a car you bought in the port town, and little more than the clothes on your back.

But the monsters’ capital city is no paradise. Not for a human. With past generosities betrayed, the seeds of mistrust have long since been sown and outright hostility simmers just under the surface. There's so much in the culture and history and behind-the-curtain dealings that you just don't know. But you really hope you're a fast learner, because it turns out your roommate is a devastatingly hot resurrected Prince Emeritus turned fuckboy slash red flag incarnate and holy shit you are in so over your head.”

A collaboration between myself and Kimberly EAB. 2nd-person POV, Reader x Asriel, post-Undertale, slow-burn dead dove (now there’s a combo you don’t see too often huh?). Biggest kinks/themes on display will be dubcon, pain play, substance abuse/addiction, possessiveness, messed up power dynamics, my usual brand of hyperqueer xenophilia, and just a general case of I Can Fix Him syndrome.

#deltaruined #fanfiction #smut #castawayangels #echoesinthedistance #impfics

3 notes · View notes

nerves-nebula · 2 years

Note

haha yeah she lied to adopt me. It was a foster home for quite a while until they stopped doing that (they sat me down, told me it was expensive and that I no longer wanted a sibling, right? and then just stopped) and she'd test the various kids to see their proficiency in the field, so to speak? There used to be a lot of circle chanting but an older kid reported her. I never could report since my social worker was a noshow lol. Also when I told my social worker that I didn't want to be adopted to them my mother told them that "I thought adoption meant I'd be taken away" and they believed her so. That was destined too xD

I was the chosen child (it was fate) and got special privileges because I could do things for her, but also never got to have a birthday party with friends or hang out with people after school like some of my siblings because of that whole logic of ""the more time I spend with humans the more human I'd get""

She had to lie about her whole deal, but also like. so people kept trying to kill me and other stuff, WHICH LIKE sounds morbid but meh that's just what it's like? I'm quite good at wiggling out of those situations, BUT each time it was just further proof to her that I was ""a star child destined to be on this planet"" and ""I was born to be with them and the rest of the world would've killed me"" sorta stuff.

She also was really big on that "as a star child you were destined to be born, but you already chose your destiny when you were a star" sort of idea so like, if anything happened to me I'd pre-chosen/pre-destined it into reality so it was all my choice/fault. She's built weird.

And idk about how smart the whole percentages thing is. Honestly I was expected to have full back and forth conversations about the human subconscious and what compels people's behaviours by the time I was 7 or 8 (dEFINTELY by 9) instead of playing games or age-appropriate things so I was very used to how she thought and just.. used not-quite-lies as cover. They key is to take something that's true and leave out whatever amount of details you need and maybe through in something that sounds right.

ex: if you're expected to make the wind stronger to push the flag over there and the flag isn't moving you can say "Due to the lack of pre-existing wind patterns there is less wind to channel into creating a moving flag" or "The speed of the current wind is technically moving the flag with the current power it has available, but if given enough time the wind force will grow". They aren't technically lies nor are they real truths. they're like "yeah, that sounds about right" sorta statements

BUT YO if you want any funky stories I can give you vague words and you can pick a story, but totally no pressure lol. I promise they aren't extremely bad, mostly humorous with a "wtf" twist

Ginneapig

Werewolves

She Listens

A guide of things to do when you die

The Angels

The last in person conversation I had with her

AND ALSO YOOO REALLY COOL ART FOR YOUR OC. I really like your art style btw, it feels unique and it strikes a good mix between detailed and simplistic and can really add depth when it's needed. It's very vibey :]

OK I READ THIS WHEN YOU FIRST SENT IT BUT. COllege! So now i am FINALLY respondingfsdfds (thank you for the compliment about my art style btw)

FIRST OF ALL. It is so DEPRESSINGLY stupid that you told your social worker you didn't want to be adopted by them, and then they lied to your social worker in a very provable way, and your social worker just? what??? didnt look into it??? im fucking fUMING.

I've actually heard of that whole "Before you were born you agreed to everything that happened to you" thing and frankly, it is one of the most horrifying mindsets I can imagine. Thank fuck you're ok now (i'm assuming) cause that shit would've really fucked with me.

*rubs hands together* now for the FUN PART

ok ummm hmm can I choose more than one?

cause I'm interested in 1, 3, 4, and 6, but I'd love to hear all of them. idk if that's like. A LOT for you though. so if I had to pick one or two I think I'd choose 1 and 6.

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #abuse #child abuse

4 notes · View notes

hrefgopuram · 3 months

Text

2021 /blog/start-here/

2023: Layers upon layers - the latest "start here" page is now "ref".

✱

Last updated: ~2021

Like many things in my life, my blog is a delightful mess. It's a sprawling junkyard of notes, links, essays, reflections and it has a life of its own. There have been times when I have attempted to start something new from scratch, but it invariably ends up accumulating junk and mess like the rest of my stuff. I am done resisting this fact, and I choose to embrace it.

Frequently Shared Posts:

The Library Ethos – this is a new post, but I wrote it to be the cornerstone post of my blog – something that I think captures my fundamental philosophy and approach to life, which informs all of my utterances and actions. If you want to get to know me, this is a good place to start.

Bookmarks that I often share with friends – a collection of links to posts that I revisit often.

Relationships are challenging + a lot of work – this is a "threadpost" – ie, a blogpost that's made up of twitter threads that I've written. My wife and I married at 22, and so we've had the unusual privilege of being married a lot longer than our peers (who are starting to get hitched around now). So we have some experience that we'd like to share.

How to build and maintain communities – I have always been passionate about good communities, and dismayed at how fleeting they tend to be. This is a collection of links, thoughts and ideas I've had about them.

Being Smart vs Being Kind – One of the most important changes in my life was about learning to become less of a belligerent asshole.

‘Smart Writing’ is about cultivating taste, suspending judgement and chasing your curiosity – funnily, the trick to smart writing is to worry less about being smart, and pursuing whatever you think is interesting.

Letter To A Young Songwriter – This applies to all creative work. Don't worry too much about making great work, or about having fun – just be prolific, and both will happen as a consequence.

An Analysis of Power And Social Dynamics In 'Mean Girls' – I wrote this in 2014 and it's somehow still one of the best things I've ever written.

One must imagine Sisyphus LOL-ing – existence can be bleak, but it's also funny. This is a pretty decent representation of my personal approach to managing the widely-perceived crisis of existence.

The instructions I wish I was given (As a newbie startup marketer) – this is a 'reflecting on my career' post that I often share with young people starting out in their own careers.

When arguing, seek to understand the other person's context. This is the long game.

Taste is the beating heart of all creative value. I talk about this in (5), but it bears repeating because taste is truly one of the most precious resources on the planet. We need more of it, and we're bad at cultivating it.

Why this blog exists

Love. I've loved the Internet since I was a little boy, the same way people love libraries and bookstores. It gives me a sense of possibility. I've always wanted to have a "Room Of My Own" on the web, and this is it. I've had websites and blogs ever since I was a kid.

Peopling. Derek Sivers has this great quote about how every breakthrough comes from someone you know, so you get out there and know people. Having a blog allows people to find me, via Google or other means.

Storage. I use this blog as a repository, as a thinking tool, as a working space. It's a work in progress, it's messy, it doesn't make a lot of sense a lot of the time. I will try to tidy it up from time to time, but overall I think it's going to always be messy because it's a representation of my mind – which can be a messy place. (2023 update: I'm moving most "storage" type posts over to /archives/)

More later.

What else?

I am most active and prolific on Twitter at @visakanv. People often ask me about the header image in my Twitter bio, which you can check out here.

Check out my my ebooks FRIENDLY AMBITIOUS NERD and INTROSPECT!

I have a Substack! visakanv.substack.com

I'd love it if you subscribed to my youtube channel: youtube.com/visakanv

0 notes

vibesfc · 2 years

Text

in defence of eloise bridgerton

before i post yet another unsolicited thinkpiece, i have to credit @alrightsnaps and @torchwood-99 for inspiring these thoughts in the first place. (they have no idea who i am lol but i'm not about to plaigarise.) i've embedded their posts at the end. i read them when they were first published however many weeks/months ago and they've remained in my brain ever since.

nb. again, i didn't intend for it to be this long lol. not rambling is not my strong suit.

i was surprised to find that so many people dislike show!eloise (and book!eloise as well it seems) because i am such an eloise apologist lmao. i can fully understand that she’s very sheltered and privileged and often presents a very “not like other girls” attitude that we as a culture are trying to move away from. i understand that due to her family's circumstances and her position in society, eloise tends to unfairly judge other women, particularly her peers. however, she is also only 17, maybe 18, years old. as a modern woman in the 21st century, i displayed similar behaviour in my teenagedom despite believing myself to be a big old feminist, progressive, and socially aware. (which i do believe is was, within the context of my age and where i come from, but i also had a lot to learn and reevulate - and am certain still do and will do forevermore.) granted, i didn’t express myself as aggressively as eloise is wont to do, but there were certainly many things i do not know or understand and therefore probably said a few things that i would not even think to say today.

eloise has only just discovered wollstonecraft, she has so much more reading to do, which is crucially something she actively desires. i do not interpret her character as believing she knows all she needs to and that she knows more than anybody else, even if her countenance sometimes suggests otherwise. eloise clearly wants to learn more, to develop her mind by engaging in debate and having her ideas challenged. indeed, i think that’s what drew her to theo in the first place. with both eloise and penelope (whose behaviour warrants even deeper analysis), it seems the audience often forgets just how young they are. yes, legally they are ladies out in society, but they are still very much girls. they don’t even know how babies are made for heaven's sake. they are kept so in the dark about the contractual obligations expected of them and would be naive not to approach "the rigmarole of courtship" with some wariness.

in my opinion, it’s no wonder that eloise is so opposed to marriage and motherhood because of what she has witnessed in violet. in the throes of giving birth to hyacinth, violet had no autonomy over her own life or body, or hyacinth’s life of body, which was very much still attached to (read: inside of) hers. violet's powerlessness in this situation was compounded by the fact the choice, of whether she or the baby would live or die, was given to her totally inexperienced 19 year old son, who had never raised children before and would never know what it feels like to be with child. not only is violet barred by the doctor (until permitted by anthony) to decide the fate of her own life, and her unborn child's, she is forced to relinquish this power to someone she still considers to be a child himself.

although eloise may not be aware of the exact details of hyacinth's birth, her distress at whatever she imagines to be happening is explicit. we see her crying heavily in daphne's arms, surely a vignette of her trauma (and daphne's as well, which is not the same of course, but definitely related). that she probably hasn't been informed about what did go on makes the memory scarier still. when this is the example eloise is given of what motherhood and marriage entail (i.e., no autonomy, no self-control, possibly death), i am not surprised at all that she seeks to avoid such a fate in the strongest terms, and likewise cannot fathom why other women would desire it. in her mind, to wed a man and sire his children is to sacrifice her life, wants and freedom to choose. based on the template provided, a married woman would lose all subjectivity, existing as an object whose only real purpose is to fulfil her husband's wants and needs.

moreover, the way her character arc is structured is problematic. before the audience meets eloise (or daphne, francesca, and hyacinth) or learns her name, we already know she will inevitably fall in love, get married and have children regardless of her personality or ambitions. that her character has been set up to change her mind about marriage and motherhood really stuck with me. by fixing her storyline in such a way, the writers essentially position a woman's desire for singledom or spinsterhood as the immature fancies of a chila. while eloise's criticism of others for desiring such things can be quite severe or inappropriately timed (e.g., anthony’s failed wedding), the underlying message is not what it ought to be as a purportedly feminist programme. at its most basic level, that is, "women should be able to live their lives in whichever way they want", here as spinster or wife. instead, by having eloise “realise” that her original goals were misplaced, that her life is in fact incomplete without the things she railed against, the narrative ignores the fact that there are women who chose not to marry or procreate that remain perfectly happy and fulfilled. to suggest otherwise does these women a great disservice.

this is not to say that i believe eloise is right, per see – that marriage and motherhood spawn inescapable doom – but that a woman has options, that there are multiple ways to lead a happy life. i wish they would show (even if very briefly) that it is possible for ladies (not just working women) to remain content in singledom and, further, prefer it in some cases to the status quo. by nature, the series will always demonstrate the positive effects of marriage, whether for love (bridgertons, queen charlotte) or convenience (lady danbury, henry granville), so it is a shame that the writers do not acknowledge the alternative.

in fact, the writers seem to double down on eloise’s disdain for these roles precisely because they know she will change her mind. being aware of how her story ends, they could have presented her character as more sceptical/scared of these concepts rather than outright hostile/insulting. i think this would have completely changed the moral of her narrative as well as the tone of her relationship with theo. i think a big part of their relationship arc was to show eloise that perhaps it is not so bad to love a man and desire a life together. i believe it was probably the writers' intention to introduce theo as a way to segue into her love story with phillip. however, it is important to remember that to love and marry a working man does not carry the same implications it does a gentleman.

from the outset, the balance of power between the sexes is more equal with theo and eloise knows this. she can see that theo appreciates her mind for what it is - not an “accomplishment”, as she would say, to increase her stock, but genuine interest in her voice. because of their class differences, she doesn’t owe him anything, nor does she expect anything from him. so, when eloise does share her thoughts with him, she can be secure in the knowledge that theo is spending time with her for no other reason than because he wants to. eloise knows theo takes her opinion seriously and sees her as an independent subject instead of a marriageable object.

in this regard, eloise's fears of marrying a gentleman (a specific type of man) have not been reasonably assuaged because what a man of phillip's rank typically wants/offers a lady is inherently different to a working man. this is not to say that i’m against her relationship with phillip, on the contrary philloise is my favourite ship after hyareth (more so due to fandom lore and ao3 headcanons than to sir phillip, with love, which i have not read and do not intend to). i simply believe the writers could have developed her character more sensitively with regard to her feminist identity.

in defence of the writers, i believe eloise's bravado that so many viewers seem to dislike (her attitude that she is "not like other girls") speaks to her insecurity as a young debutante. early in season 2, eloise admits to peneolope the shame she feels knowing (though, this is surely in her head) that she will forever disappoint her mother, her suitors and the ton for not being daphne ("the perfect diamond"). in the way people so often do, i believe eloise wants people to know that she does not care about their opinions because deep down she actually does.

eloise has shown instances of social anxiety and clearly worries about measuring up to daphne and possibly francesca, who is canonically next season's diamond. i get the impression that eloise wants to reach the punchline before her critics can, to ensure suitors know she has already found them disagreeable and, therefore, does not care if they think the same of her. as is somewhat symptomatic of girls her age, i think eloise is afraid, and perhaps ashamed, to be herself.

when she sneers at other debutantes for desiring courtship and the like, eloise appears to project her insecurities about finding a suitable match onto others. i do not mean to imply that she secretly wants all the things she argues against, rather that she loves her family and wants to please her family (particularly her mother) and is afraid of disappointing them simply by way of who she is. from this perspective, eloise endeavours to keep others' expectations of her as low as possible so as to not let anybody down.

#bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #eloise x theo #i love her your honour #theo sharpe #sir phillip crane #this is what i do to procratinate revising for stats :)#i am fuckeedddddddddd #eloise x phillip #daphne bridgerton #violet bridgerton #trash essay #*

36 notes · View notes

0097linersb · 4 years

Text

Pink Lemonade

CHAPTER 1

Pairings: Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan x Jeno x Mark x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Humor (I guess), Slow burn af

Summary: The dreamies decide to spend some weeks at an Inn in the middle of the nature to relax and enjoy some outdoor adventures, far away from their crazy idol life. What they didn’t expect was the nice girl running said Inn.

Word count: 3k

You should read the intro first so this story makes sense <3

☼ previous / next ☼

A/N: Honestly guys this fic will probably be long and detaild af ‘cause I’m using it as a distraction from real life lol guess who just finished their engagement. If u would like it to be more straightforward and go right to the fun parts let me know, I’d really like some opinions! Also, it’s like 2 AM so I’ll proofread it tomorrow

As you woke up the next day, you were not shocked to find that the boys were not up yet. Last night you were surprised to come downstairs to an already fully cleaned kitchen and as much as it made you embarrassed, it also made you immensely grateful. You thanked them and told them to stop being so nice and doing your job for you, to which Mark only responded that seven guys could be really messy sometimes.

You had given them the folders that informed all the activities the Inn (well, you) offered and the ones they could book in the city a few minutes away, it made you smile at how excited they got reading the paper and planning their days. Haechan was already asking if they could go stargazing that same night but the rest of them groaned saying they were way too tired to move after the long trip (and you felt bad once again for having them clean the kitchen).

Everyone eventually agreed on a time for breakfast and you were just sure they wouldn’t wake up that early by the dark circles under their eyes and, turns out you were right. They did go to sleep pretty early the other night, showering after the meal you had and just going straight to bed.

You lazily stretched as you left your room with Koda and Kenai tracing after you, to find a very much awake Jaemin sitting on the living room’s couch holding a cup.

“Good morning, did you make coffee?” You yawned at the boy, scolding Koda so he would get off the couch.

“Good morning. Yeah, sorry for taking the liberty, I really needed to wake up,” He smiled at you, petting your disobedient dog with his free hand so he could get distracted from the way your shirt had ridden up. Damn morning horniness.

“It’s ok, smells good. Are the rest of the boys awake?”

“Nop, and probably won’t be for a while. I know we agreed on going to the lake at 8 but everyone’s dead, I can wake them up if-“

“No, it’s ok,” You laughed. “I imagined this would happen, not a fan of waking up early myself.”

“Oh, you can go back to sleep if you want, I can knock when everyone starts waking up.”

“Don’t worry. You just really made me want some coffee.”

“I left it downstairs, I can go get you a cup.”

“Jaemin, we’re playing opposites here, don’t make me feel useless,” You joked, already making your way to the stairs, missing how the man stared at your legs in your little pajama shorts. “Plus, I need to take the boys on a walk before they become too fidgety.”

“Can I come with?”

“Of course.”

Jaemin was quick to stand up and follow you downstairs, where you quickly poured yourself a cup of coffee and opened the door, the dogs running past you excitedly. You silently lead the way out of your property and into the unpaved road, warming your hands with the coffee mug – The days were hot but the nights and early mornings could be quite chilly, especially with all the trees surrounding you and blocking the sunshine from reaching you.

“Do they sleep with you?” Jaemin asked, pointing at the dogs who were sniffing around the bushes on the side of the road, like they didn’t do this same route every day.

“Sometimes, they often prefer to stay outside, lots of animals to chase when I’m not there to scream at them.”

“They don’t wear leashes?”

“No need to, there’s barely people here and they are really well-behaved. I trained them well, Koda just gets a little bold when we have new guests over,” You smiled, remembering not even 5 minutes ago said dog was trying to get on Jaemin’s lap on the couch. “Do you like tangerines?”

The boy looked at you confused but nodded.

“Wait a second,” You asked before leaving him, walking off the road and into the trees. After a minute or so, you were back, throwing one of the orange fruits at Jaemin. “I steal them from the neighbors sometimes.”

“Will we get in trouble?” He asked but was already peeling the tangerine with his hands.

“Nah, they are never here. These would just rot.”

“Seems only fair then.”

You walked for another few minutes in silence, eating happily as you appreciated the sound of your feet crushing the small rocks on the floor.

“Ok, tangerines do not go well with coffee,” You make a face after eating half of your fruit, only now stopping to pay attention to the actual taste in your mouth.

Jaemin laughs at you before putting his last slice into his mouth, “Cute.”

“There’s nothing cute about this flavor.”

“Didn’t bother me,” He shrugged, smiling down at you.

Damn that boy was too attractive for his own good. You meant, all of them were.

It was just unfair, really.

The two of you talked a bit more until you hit the end of the road and then made your way back, it was a light-hearted comfortable conversation and you liked the way it made you feel warm inside. You learnt that Jaemin likes to photograph stuff and you asked him to take lots of pictures during their stay so you could use them on the Inn’s social media, telling him you shared that hobby with him. You then started a discussion about digital vs. film photography, in which you two clearly didn’t agree on, but it kept you entertained for a long time.

“Listen, technology evolved to this point to make life comfortable and easier for a reason!” Jaemin whined as you two were entering your property once again. “Is there something worse than developing your pictures only to find out your film was ruined?”

“That’s the thrill of it!” You exasperated.

“I call that heartbreak.”

“It’s a raw form of art for the strong hearted,” You sigh dramatically, opening the door for the man.

After your half an hour walk, as you got back home, only Renjun was up, pouring himself some coffee and looking super sleepy.

“Good morning, slept well?” You asked as Jaemin made his way to sit down on the table after getting Renjun to pour him some more coffee.

“Yeah, this is the first time I dreamt in months,” He smiled at you but his eyes were still half closed. Like you, Renjun was still in his pajamas, light sweatpants and a wrinkled white t-shirt.

“Do you guys want to eat something before breakfast?” You asked, not knowing how long they would have to wait for the others.

“It’s ok,” Jaemin answered.

“If you change your mind just let me know,” You smiled, wondering on what to do now, since you had already prepared the food for today last night and didn’t have any other chores until everyone was up so you could make their beds.

You figured the boys would drink their coffees and go talk or lay down in the hammocks, maybe even try to nap a bit but you were proven wrong when Renjun pointed at the end of the table suddenly excited, “Are those cards?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we play?”

“Of course.”

The man was quick to pick up the little box and sit down across the table from Jaemin, who tapped the place next to him before you had the chance to leave. You happily took on the offer, content with finally spending some fun time with people your age. No, scratch that: Attractive men your age.

“Let’s play Rummy!” Renjun suggested, the sleepiness leaving his body at the simple thought.

“I have no idea how to play that,” You informed.

“It’s ok, I’ll teach you. Come closer,” Jaemin smiled at you and you obeyed, heart beating fast at your thighs suddenly touching. What were you? 12?

The game was way too complicated for your morning brain to understand so you basically just watched the boys play, giving your input here and there.

“Jaemin, here!” You excitedly pointed at one of the cards he was holding.

“Oh, I had missed that, smart girl,” He smiled at you, patting your thigh as a thank you or maybe a praise, making your heart almost leave your body through your mouth.

Freaking pet names dude.

After an hour or so playing, Jeno and Haechan appeared already fully clothed and awake. The second boy gave you and Jaemin a weird look, noticing how the boy’s right hand was just casually resting on your thigh. At some point it just happened and it felt comfortable (if you ignored your blood pumping through your body twice the normal speed, of course), it had been months since you had flirted with someone and you were enjoying the touch fully, thoughts of being professional nowhere to be found.

You greeted the boys and they sat down too, informing Mark and Chenle would be down in a second and Jisung would just skip breakfast to sleep. You decided then to get up and leave them to chat as you went into the pantry to organize the food you had prepared yesterday, into the baskets.

“Dude,” Haechan whispered to Jaemin.

Just by looking at the boy, Jaemin already knew what he wanted to comment on so he just, “Don’t.”

“Game on, bro.”

“What? This is not a game, we were just-“

“I said game on, bro.”

Jaemin sighed and gave up, knowing Haechan was just joking and being annoying as usual.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After all the men (minus Jisung) were downstairs and ready to go, you guided them down to the lake, setting up one of those cliché plaid towels for everyone to sit on. As you and Mark organized the foods around, you smiled at the others running around the grass and taking pictures, impressed at the view. The lake really was pretty and your property had a privileged clearing to sit down and enjoy it.

“I would love to say they are normally not this energetic,” Mark smiled at you, placing the bowl with the grapes and strawberries down. “But I’d be lying.”

“It’s refreshing, I rarely deal with people my age around here. We didn’t add bingo to the activities’ folder for no reason.”

“There are no clubs or bars around here?”

“The biggest city around has barely 2.000 habitants so I’ll say no to that. Although this region is becoming really famous for the ecotourism these days, they opened a nice pub for the tourists like last month but there’s only ever people during the weekends.”

“Well, if you ever go to Seoul, let me take you out,” Mark offered before realizing what he had said and stiffening, cheeks going red like the watermelon juice in your hands. “I mean, like, to show you the places and-“

“That sounds fun,” You smiled at him, deciding to end his misery right from the start. He was cute. “Boys, the food is ready.”

Jeno excitedly dropped Haechan down (who he was holding for a picture) and ran over, leaving a very whiny boy on the floor. Jaemin took a picture of that and soon enough, everyone was sitting down on the picnic clot.

“Wow, it looks like we’re in a movie,” Renjun awed, looking around.

It really did, that’s why you liked bringing the guests to this spot on their first day. After everything was set, the scenery resembled a Renaissance painting and you loved it. It was a bit hotter than normally since it was a few hours later then the time the guests usually have breakfast, but the gentle breeze of the wind was enough to not make it unbearable.

The meal was fun, the boys made you feel so comfortable that it felt like you have known each other for a longer time than the actual truth. You all chatted, joked around and posed for pictures with the food. You had brought your analog camera just to tease Jaemin, asking him to take a picture with it for you.

“How do you want it?” The boy groaned, pretending to be annoyed.

“Here, I have an idea,” Haechan shared, excitedly, holding up one of the strawberries from the bowl in front of your face. “Bite it on the side.”

You accepted the advice confused, not understanding where he was trying to go with it but excited, you loved a good old-fashioned improvised picture. Jaemin pointed the camera at you and counted to three, and you smiled around the strawberry when on the count of one, Haechan bit on the other side of the strawberry and looked at you cross-eyed. After you saw the flash of the camera going off, you decided to take a big bite of the strawberry to play around with Haechan but apparently the boy had the same idea and your lips ended up touching, slightly. Since when has your life become a cliché teenage movie?

You quickly took the stem of the fruit from between your mouths, pulling away from the boy to tease him, “Damn. Didn’t even buy me dinner first.”

The others joined in on teasing Haechan but the man simply winked at you, “Would be my pleasure.”

You didn’t even have time to giggle before the other men pretended to puke and Renjun legit slapped Haechan.

_____________________________________________

The boys decided to not do any activities that day because Jisung would simply not wake up and after a while waiting, Chenle decided to join him on the hibernation. It made you feel sad for them, that their days were so busy and tiring that at the first sight of some time off, they would sleep for hours and hours to make up for it.

The rest of you decided to play some volleyball in the parking lot (which was not the best idea considering it was noon). As expected by the almost 40 degrees climate, one by one, every single boy started taking off their shirts, body dripping and glistening with sweat and you just felt in heaven. This could just not be real, you even looked around for cameras, scenes like that just didn’t happen in real life. One hot shirtless guy was the acceptable quota for normality.

But also, you didn’t miss the way they looked at you in your little shorts and top (equal rights after all). It made you feel powerful even though you knew it was just their hormones talking, yours were screaming too after all. If it was already like that on their second day here, you couldn’t imagine how you would survive for the next few weeks, you just wanted to cry every time Jeno (who was on your team) approached you to celebrate when either of you scored, high-fiving you with his huge arms (you would die a happy woman if you were choked by them).

After the game was over, the boys decided to go swim on the lake to cool off and you figured it would be a good time to shower and organize their beds, which you quickly did before starting to make some lunch for everyone. The youngest ones of the group didn’t even wake up to eat so you decided to leave them some food in the microwave in case they got hungry in the afternoon.

Unfortunately the Wi-Fi was being annoying as usual and refused to work, so you couldn’t even google about the boys yet, the curiosity was almost killing you. Maybe it was better like that, right now you were just seeing them as 7 young men living their normal lives and you liked it, it kept you from being nervous at the fact they were probably some big stars that had the world at their feet – They all just seemed so chill sprawled around the living room floor playing the bingo you had joked about earlier, it was hard to believe they probably had hoards of screaming girls around them daily.

They thanked you for cleaning their rooms and told you that you didn’t have to, which technically you did, considering it was literally your job and the whole reason you were there.

You could be wrong, considering you have known them for barely 2 days, but you quickly noticed some little things about them: Like how Jaemin liked to touch you, even if it was just a light brush of his hand on your arm (in his defense, he was touchy with everyone, but when he touched you, it just lingered for a bit longer), or how Haechan liked to playfully flirt with you, that boy just had no shame and you admired him for that. You saw how Renjun often stared at you but when you looked at him, he looked away (which could mean either he was shy or he just didn’t like you very much), but at least he was more subtle about it, as opposite to Mark, who became a blushing mess every time you caught his eyes (and you just wanted to squeeze him). You realized Jeno was a manlier guy, you hadn’t gotten what his deal was yet but you loved the way his eyes disappeared when he smiled and that was enough for you.

It was funny, really, how everyone decided to ignore the tension in the air and go on with the day normally – You did only meet the day before after all.

After getting bored with bingo, the boys told you they planned on going water skiing tomorrow and you agreed happily, telling them you could have a little barbecue party in the camping next to the docks where your parents kept the Inn’s water sports gears, which got them even more excited.

“Can we go camping too?” Jeno asked, receiving a groan from Haechan. Classic city boy.

“Like at night?” You asked and Jeno nodded. “Yeah, actually the stars here are crazy pretty since there’s no light pollution.”

“See?” The boy told Haechan excitedly, who only sighed, accepting his fate.

Barbecue, bonfire, alcohol and a beautiful sky: You were a city girl too but you were also a sucker for a good camping night.

taglist: @eggbutnotyolk @lauraneuuh @geeisaclown @jenotation @riemm @junguwuuu @prettychaeng @satanssugaraddiction @luvlyjaemin @sweetjaemss @oofimdumb @junglekooks @unknown5tar @rosedchae@

766 notes · View notes

luna-rainbow · 3 years

Note

Hey, I am genuinely curious about what explanation the people from What If are gonna give to the Steve Winter Soldier, they kind of backed themselves into a corner, because when it was just the stucky moments before the war, they could just say we misunderstood the scenes, and just liked to imagine two hot guys kissing and any gay subtext we saw it was just in our heads. But with Steve being the WS they basically are saying that it was romantic UNLESS the robot isn't Steve, which is not happening because they are trying to sell us the idea that they are soulmates, so they can't be happy with anyone else. And I think this is going to be a corner they can't get out of, and i think this is the line that the stucky shippers are going to draw, and going to collectively drop MCU, or at least I am, love the fics and the drawings but not going to spend my money to watch anything else they do. What do you think?

Sorry I got completely off topic on this ask so had to delete and rewrite.

To be honest I get the sense most Stucky shippers have already stopped acknowledging canon since EG, no? LOL.

I honestly don’t know how they’re going to explain Steve being in the current timeline. How did he survive? Are they going to say he got the super soldier serum elsewhere? But if he’s in the mobile suit robot does that mean he didn’t go through the Winter Soldier timeline of torture and brainwashing?

And uh…the other thing is a fundamental misunderstanding of the dynamic. Like, personally I’m more than happy to take a non-romantic reading of Steve-Bucky, but that doesn’t minimise how special their bond was. The Steve-Bucky-Peggy trio actually consists of three very strong personalities. The reason it doesn’t seem that way with Steve and Bucky is because they are Steve and Bucky. If you take the two of them away from each other — you have Steve who won’t back down in front of someone like the director of SHIELD or the to-be-king of Wakanda. There’s less available of Bucky but we can infer from the fact he survived 70 years of torture with his morality intact and the way he deals with his recovery that he’s got a very stubborn streak. And then you have Peggy who’s quite bullish in her capabilities.

The reason Steve and Bucky seem fairly mild in front of each other is because of their long histories with each other. They’ve worked out how to love each other despite their stubborn tempers, and a big part of that is the fact they share much of their morality and values. They know their goals will align, which I think is part of the reason Bucky was happy to step back and let Steve into the leadership role post-serum and in all later encounters, because there’s an implicit trust that Steve will do what Bucky himself also believes in. And let’s face it, the trust also comes from the fact they know they have each other’s best interests at heart.

The same dynamic does not exist with Peggy. It can’t and it’s shown very clearly in the first episode of What If that she definitely does not have Steve’s best interests at heart. While we the audience might see Bucky as Steve’s sidekick (and maybe even Bucky himself does), Steve doesn’t. Bucky’s safety and personal choice are never treated by Steve as an afterthought. I may be wrong but I get the sense that WI!Steve is being written as an afterthought to Peggy’s own heroic conquests, the traditional MCU love interest, if you will.

WI!Steve is a disabled, second generation Irish immigrant from a single parent family who has to live with the consequences of Peggy’s choice in a world where ventolin and insulin were very new or did not exist. WI!Peggy is a well-off Englishwoman who had no concept of the privilege she already possessed and revelled in the added boost given by the serum. It’s ludicrous that their arcs can at all parallel CATWS, a situation where two people who had known each other their whole lives broke through the conditioning with their mutual trust and care for each other…romantically read or not.

Add: I feel like I derailed myself LOL What I was meaning to get at in the middle is that Steve and Bucky gets along despite their personalities because their morality align. Steve and Peggy’s don’t align (some of their goals might but they are so different in their experiences and perspectives, and the implicit trust isn’t there) that they’re bound to have a lot of friction and disagreements if the series actually wrote their characters properly.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #asks

79 notes · View notes

bubble-tea-bunny · 4 years

Text

come fly with me

[hermes x reader]

author’s note: every time i see his name i pronounce it like the brand out of habit even if there’s no accent grave lol

word count: 2,572

You sense the bright light of morning through your closed lids and it prompts you to wake. But even as your eyes slide open, you still feel as though you’re dreaming.

A man is kneeling down next to you. You don’t know who he is but perceive he means no harm, for his gaze as he observes you is concerned, no doubt wondering what you’re doing out here. You don’t remember falling asleep outside, but the weather has been so nice as of late, you wouldn’t put it past yourself to have drifted off after laying beneath the stars, simply appreciating their magnificence.

As your vision comes more into focus, and the blurred edges merge into finer lines, you note that the sun shines behind this stranger’s head, and it appears remarkably like a halo. Your focus slides lower, drifts over brown hair pulled back into a neat braid to avoid obscuring his face, the highlight of which are his eyes—brilliantly blue, like crystals, and putting the backdrop behind him to shame. He’s beautiful.

Suddenly you’re nervous to be the center of his attention, so rapt it’s like he can see right through you. You must look a disheveled mess in contrast, your own hair tousled, your eyes bleary with the last bits of sleep. But as if he can hear your thoughts, he smiles gently, a gesture to put you at ease.

“Hello,” he greets you. His voice is hushed, taking care not to disturb the peace of these early hours, and it’s warm, washing over your skin and fighting away the chill of the cool evening.

You open your mouth, poised to speak, but at first nothing comes out, though from nervousness or from the fact your vocal chords are still waking up after hours of not being used, you don’t know.

“I… I must have fallen asleep out here,” you state rather dumbly, because what else could it have been? It’s not as if anyone had carried you out here in the middle of the night. Your cheeks redden from embarrassment but the man’s smile widens, amused and—if you aren’t imagining things, owed to the idea that maybe you really are dreaming—charmed. Though for what reason, you haven’t the slightest clue. You struggle to call yourself a picture of grace at any other point in a day, least of all fresh from sleep.

“It seems you have,” he responds. “I imagine it was comfortable?”

Not wanting to continue this conversation while still laying down, since it’s a little awkward, you sit up, and he backs away slightly to give you space. The notion of sleeping on the ground certainly doesn’t sound comfortable, and so you assume he asks this in light jest, but oddly enough, you don’t feel any stiffness or aches. Your body is relaxed, pliant. You feel well-rested.

“It was, yes…” you trail off, absentmindedly pondering on this anomaly.

The man nods, satisfied with your answer, and stands. You have to crane your neck to look at him, and as he turns his head to look out at the rolling hills, lush green and divided in the middle by a dirt path, you see a string around his neck which is attached to a golden helmet. The brim swoops and lifts in the back, colored silver to resemble a pair of wings.

Then he turns to you again, now offering you his hand. “Well the day is too nice to waste staying here. Would you like to take a walk with me?”

You’ve been aware this entire time that you don’t know who he is, and logic would dictate you turn down his invitation. No matter how nice he may be, it would be unreasonable as well as unsafe. But even for all that, you find yourself not tied down by any semblance of reason, and perhaps it’s against your better judgment that you accept.

You take his hand and he pulls you up easily. Maybe it’s his smile that does well to quell any apprehension, for you think you would follow him anywhere. Maybe you were incorrect and to go with him now was the better judgment on your part, because you don’t feel that this is wrong or dangerous. And he’s right: the day is splendid and it would make no sense to stay on the ground alone. It’s better enjoyed with companions.

The two of you follow the trail for a while, pausing whenever small creatures cross from one side to the other: mostly bunnies and deer, but at one point when passing by a lake there’s a duck and her ducklings plodding single-file behind her. As the world around you wakes and you walk in comfortable silence, your anxiety melts away and you instigate a conversation.

“Were you just passing by and happened to see me?” you inquire.

The man glances down at you briefly before looking ahead once more. “I was.” He nods. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He’s sincere as he says it, and it makes you grin. “Well I’m glad it was you who found me.”

The smile on his lips mirrors yours. “I am too.”

Flowers line the path, leaning inward as if to welcome any who walk past. They grab your attention, and you skip ahead to pick some of them. They only require a gentle tug for the stems to snap and you gather them until you’re holding a small bunch of the white flower in one hand. You bring them closer to your face so you can smell them: the scent is subtle and fresh, like the air after it rains. The man finally catches up to you and you twist around. There’s that expression in his eyes again, one of amusement, and again you blush, attempting to hide it by the flowers as you duck your head, but you don’t think you’re successful.

He peers over your shoulder. “Let’s go this way now. There’s bound to be more flowers in that direction.”

You turn and follow his line of sight. The trail has led to a forest, and veering off here would lead you into the thick of it. The man takes the last few steps to close the distance and stand next to you, and you look up at him. “Okay.”

Sunlight pierces the gaps in the foliage, the rays which light the ground soothing to behold and to walk through. It’s like a painting, calm and peaceful, displayed on the finest marble and you’re honored to be in the midst of it, maybe not as the subject, for you think the birds who cast shadows as they soar above you are more worthy of the privilege, but you’re content to be there at all, even just off to the side.

The woods lead to a meadow and the man was correct: there are more flowers here. Their colors vary, from white to lavender to yellow, and the sun envelopes them all in its heat, unhindered in this clearing. The tall grass shifts with your every footstep and brushes your calves, light as a feather, and you giggle. It tickles.

Your eyes rove over the expanse before you. There are more trees, another portion of forest, on the other side, but this place is so peaceful, and the sun is in the perfect position, centered in the sky, that you would hate to leave so soon.

“I’d like to lay among these flowers…” you murmur. It’s an aside you mean to mutter only to yourself, but given your proximity to the stranger—no, not a stranger anymore, but more of a friend—he hears you fine despite the low volume with which you said it.

“Why don’t we?”

At this, you blink and glance up at him. He’s already watching you with a twinkle in his gaze and he’s smiling. You can’t help smiling too and you feel so warm to be in his presence.

So in the middle of the clearing you find a suitable spot and settle down, lying on your back with the bunch of white flowers still clutched in one hand. You have to squint and use your free hand to shield your eyes from the glare of the sun, but then you close them and the furrow of your brow relaxes, and you can fully enjoy the nature which surrounds you.

Dragonflies buzz and you can hear them flittering along, the beating of their wings louder as they approach, then becoming quieter as they pass. The grass shifts as your friend comes to join you now. He sits, and you hear a brief shuffling before he follows suit and lays down. Together you bask in the sunlight, but for how long, you aren’t sure. Not that you’re interested in tracking the time.

“Your suggestion to tarry a while was a good one,” he compliments, breaking the silence. “It feels pleasant to rest here.”

His compliment makes you grin and your eyes open. You turn your head to look at him. He’d removed his helmet from where it was hanging around his neck and placed it next to him to allow him to lie back comfortably. “The sun makes you feel so refreshed, doesn’t it?”

He hums. “I think it has more to do with the company.” He opens his eyes and also turns to look at you, and the blueness of them is incredibly soft. Your smile grows.

And though you’re confident you could pass the rest of the day in that meadow, the two of you move on. It’s done with a bit of reluctance on your part, but it fades quickly because you agree with him: it’s the company which makes you feel refreshed. The colors of the sky are shifting as mid-afternoon turns into early evening and it occurs to you that you have been walking since the morning yet you aren’t tired, nor has it felt like many hours have transpired. You know it has to do with him. You think you could do this forever, walking with him.

When the sky is a blend of indigo and orange, you ask if anyone is expecting him. We’ve been together all day, you explain. No one might wonder where you are?

He chuckles. “That’s kind of you to be concerned.”

Your cheeks feel warm. He’s awfully good at getting that reaction out of you.

“No one’s expecting me,” he continues. “But even if someone were, they’d understand my lateness, given I’m with someone so sweet. I’m not keen to part ways too soon.”

Your chest feels tight, like your heart is wrenching and you’re scared it might break. “Me neither,” you state shyly.

Then gradually the indigos and oranges transition to black as the sun fully disappears below the horizon and you are sad to see it leave. You’ve also long since left the meadow and the forest surrounding it behind. The land you walk through is wide, flat, empty. There aren’t any plants or animals and it feels foreign, adjusted as you had been to the lush scenery of this afternoon. The only feature worth noting are the mountains that come into view now, which, while you’d already assumed them to be tall, are taller than you first thought as you get closer, so high they seem to touch the clouds, perhaps even extending past them.

“This way.” The man’s voice pulls your attention away from staring up at the clouds. There’s a path that leads farther into the mountain. “Watch your step. It’s rather dark.”

What light of the moon reaches through small gaps in the mountain reflects off the helmet strung around his neck. He takes care to move slowly to ensure you don’t lose him but the glint of his helmet serves as a beacon. The more you venture in, you wonder where you’re going. Should you ask him? The idea of doing so hadn’t crossed your mind all day because you’d been happy just to be with him, no apprehension about the destination, or whether or not there was one. But now…

The words are on the tip of your tongue, about to be voiced, but they die out once you turn a final corner and spot a river. The water is dark, almost black, and a haze settles above it that obscures what might possibly be on the opposite shore. Once you do speak, it’s still a question, but it’s no longer about where the two of you are headed. He doesn’t need to tell you that.

“Wanted to let me down gently, didn’t you?” The manner in which you ask this is quiet, lightly teasing but also laced with a sadness you do little to hide.

Hermes—for now you know confidently who he is—leads you right to the edge of the water and then stops, twisting around. “I chose to take the longer route with you.”

You meet his gaze. His eyes are sorrowful, yet for their melancholy they are still just as beautiful, and they’re tender as he looks at you. “Why?”

He takes a deep breath, momentarily glancing at the water then returning his focus to you. “You hadn’t realized what happened, and I didn’t want to tell you. I decided we would venture through the nature you love so much, taking breaks where you desired, to listen to the bugs and to feel the sun.”

Thinking back to this morning, you recall that when you’d woken up, you hadn’t checked behind you. If you had, you would’ve noticed your body there. You’d been too enamored by Hermes to do that. Though you suppose there are worse ways of being led to the Underworld, and you’d always be grateful to Hermes for choosing to take the long way.

“Through it I’ve grown very fond of you,” he confesses. He offers a small smile, and you surmise it’s a struggle, at odds with a frown because of where he has brought you, and what it implies. “A day with you was a lifetime, and it still didn’t feel long enough.”

You muster a smile of your own. “One day or an eternity, I don’t suppose any length of time ever would.”

A boat comes into view, appearing to materialize through the fog, and once it stops at the small dock, the front bumping gently and the water lapping against the support beams, Hermes gives the ferryman two coins. Treat her well, he instructs. And then he turns to you a final time, and when your heart squeezes, you really think it has broken.

Glancing down, your eyes settle on the flowers you’re gripping. You’d kept them with you the entire journey. But now you hold them out to Hermes, and the heaviness in your chest seems to lighten slightly as he takes them and the expression on his face becomes a little less crestfallen. You would hate to leave him in such a forlorn state.

“Thank you, Hermes.” You hope he can detect the sincerity, and when he smiles faintly, you know that he has.

He helps you onto the boat, clasping your much smaller hand in his to provide support, and he stands on the shore as the ferryman pushes away, watching you until the fog engulfs the boat once more. And though he’s alone, the flowers in his hand make him feel far from lonely.

#hermes x reader #hermes imagine #blood of zeus x reader #blood of zeus imagine #blood of zeus #hermes #bubble-tea-bunny #queue

514 notes · View notes

hannigramficrecs · 3 years

Text

Tristhad

Tristhad is the ship of Mads’ and Hugh’s characters from King Arthurt (2004), which they both starred in! I haven’t emboldened my favorites because I read these a while ago... so just assume they’re all good! lol

To the Place I Belong by halotolerant [words: 14,823]

“I am going to have to see you eventually, Galahad,” Tristan pointed out. “Or else undertake this mission blindfolded.” Abruptly, the door in front of him was flung open. He had to fight not to take a reflexive step backwards. “If you even begin to laugh…” Galahad threatened, hissing. Tristan surveyed the sight of him. No, he still didn’t feel like laughing at all.

Over the Mountains and Under the Stars by starkaryen [words: 19,397]

Galahad wasn’t a fool. He knew perfectly well that the feelings he had harbored for Tristan for some time now would never be requited. But Tristan had never joined the knights’ jokes about this particular matter, and he had always inwardly thanked him for that…

Not-So-Innocent by QueenofLit [words: 1,238]

Tristan had been warned off Gawain’s little brother quite violently. In fact, he wasn’t allowed to so much as see the younger man until Gawain was certain he wouldn’t try to seduce him. As a brunette angel serves Tristan’s coffee with promises of sweeter things to come, the universe proves how monumentally bad that decision was.

The Tale of Sir Galahad and the Ridiculous Chicken by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 4,928]

Tristan’s hawk takes a sudden interest in Galahad, stealing his things whenever Galahad isn’t looking. Tristan is unhelpful at solving this problem. Fluff and crack in the time of chain-mail.

Courtship by Chifuyu [words: 2,837]

Galahad can’t stand Tristan. Tristan can’t stand Galahad. Everybody else is pretty much done with their antics.

Alphabet by cognomen [words: 2,392]

“I don’t know how to get through to him, Gawain,” he laments. It is pointless to protest - they have been brothers in arms long enough to read each other this well at least. “Have you tried getting in his tent and arranging yourself naked on his bedroll?” Gawain suggests outlandishly, but Galahad is willing to consider even such a dramatic gesture.

Late Bloom by victorine [words: 4,318]

Galahad and Tristan are constantly arguing. The other knights are done. There’s only one way to sort this… FIGHT!

Skirts by stratumgermanitivum, whiskeyandspite [words: 3,702]

Come nightfall, the boy’s stance had developed a bit of a falter, but he had no complaints. He sat by the fire, one knee drawn up, and Tristan knew that if he shifted just an inch, he’d flash the lot of them. Something had to be done. Otherwise, the skirt would be nothing more than a belt by morning.

Blood Red Apples by kipsi [words: 1,032]

He had always been secretly jealous of how Tristan handled his knife, his movements precise and steady.

A Bride’s Price by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 5,930]

Galahad doesn’t know how to woo Tristan, so he asks for advice from the knights. All of their advice is terrible. Please don’t ever ask these idiots for advice.

Bondless by Llewcie [words: 9,305]

Galahad runs an Omega club with the best security on the eastern seaboard. Tuesday nights are Alpha Night, where alphas can pay dearly for the privilege of buying an omega a drink. Tristan is willing to pay just to look on Galahad from behind the glass security wall. Galahad is pretty sure he wants more.

Firewood Duty by berlynn_wohl [words: 1,776]

“The others might be well-mannered enough to pretend they don’t notice what is happening to you, but I am not.”

L'âme Sœur (Soulmate) by the_heart_and_the_brain [words: 3,706]

Will starts to have visions of a dark haired warrior scout with tattoos on his cheeks, but when his younger companion appears things seem to make sense...My take on the idea of Hannibal and Will being reincarnations of Tristan and Galahad.

Freely Given by Devereauxs_Disease [words: 3,130]

Tristan tries to teach Galahad many things, especially the meaning of enthusiastic consent.

What Else Could I Do by Dormchi [words: 3,466]

“Be still.” He doesn’t know if it’s the low rumble of that voice or knowing who it belongs to that makes Galahad’s face flush hot and his cock leak against his thigh. Tristan. Tristan is sharing his bed.

Stories of Home by drinkbloodlikewine, whiskeyandspite [words: 3,520]

The origin story, of sorts, for Tristan, his bird, his exotic armor and his sexy tattoos.

Cuddles by CaptainCupkirk

The Sarmatian knights just finished their training and are about to be send on their first mission, but young Galahad has other things on his mind.

Fairest by Llewcie

Galahad and Tristan are rivals on the jousting field and casual acquaintances off. Galahad is keeping his secondary gender a secret, after all, and it's just easier not to be close to anyone who might discover it and start treating him differently. It's a great plan.

Respice, Adspice, Prospice by shellikybookie [words: 6,285]

Britannia. They have crossed a world to come here, and Galahad has never felt the distance so keenly as he does now that the end of their journey is in sight.

A Secret Shared by ishipthemsogoddamnhard [words: 1,514]

Galahad has felt the tension growing between him and Tristan, but what will happen when Tristan feels it too...?

Schooled by vix_spes [words: 2,957]

Galahad's choice of attire may be different to the rest of them but Tristan doesn't care. In fact, he seems to rather appreciate it.

Happy Birthday, Pup. by OpenHeart_WickedMind [words: 2,519]

It's Galahad's birthday. The boys decide to surprise him.

Locked out by qwertysweetea [words: 1,999]

Galahad locks himself out of his room and ends up spending the night in Tristan's. Some interesting feelings come to light. Just... pure self-indulgent, inexcusable fluff.

Proprietorship by AndreaLyn [words: 266]

Tristan makes a mark in things that are his.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal fanfiction #hannigram fanfiction #hannibal fanfic #hannigram fanfic #heu #hannibal extended universe #heu fanfiction #tristhad #tristhad fanfiction #tristhad fanfic #king arthur #trist

122 notes · View notes

gutouhua · 2 years

Note

hi I’m back after rereading all the updates LOL and I have questions/thoughts!!!!

I forgot OC doesn’t know how to read 😢 would Sukuna teach her? Momoka? That would be such a cute bonding moment

When did Sukuna fall in love with OC?? and vice versa? I’m so curious as it seemed rather quick. Was it because of a specific moment?

the audacity of Hikaru to challenge Sukuna to a “friendly match” when he’s literally a god??? I’m so confused ma’am like she’s got some nerve wow 😵‍💫

Rereading the latest update makes me think the next one will be slightly angsty since OC is thinking Sukuna is going ti have all these questions and potentially abandon her after Hikaru’s audacity? Maybe I’m wrong but I am HERE for the angst ugh I’m going through a phase LOL

okay this is early considering they just got married but OC is a human so what’s gonna happen when she gets older and Sukuna just stays the same.. I probably already know the answer but I’m already not ready?????

also generally just curious if you have an outline for this series and how long it’ll be? or is it more of a go with the flow type of thing? idk just wondering hah

hiii anon! thank you for reading & for your comments <3 i'm gonna put answers underneath the cut cause it might get long (tw: emotional & physical abuse, power imbalance, dark/toxic romance -- it's sukuna lol)...

Yes, I am planning on writing a scene where reader learns to read or at least mentioning it happen. I love reading so it's important to me that reader learns how to (& it's something that she deserves!)

Okay so I'm going to say that Sukuna doesn't "love" reader...at least not in the traditional sense that we're thinking. He's like some centuries old being, so his idea of love is a bit warped and he himself doesn't understand the caring, affectionate feelings he feels towards reader.

For reader, you have to understand her bg of being emotionally and physically neglected, being abused, not really having any caretaker/provider for most of her life, just overall emotionally repressed as well which sorta makes her latch onto the first person who shows her any sort of care. This is also part of the reason why she wants to be vulnerable in front of Sukuna, relax in his presence, but is simultaneously afraid of screwing things up. So does she love him? Yes, in her own way. Is it romantic love you feel for your partner...not quite but we'll get there. They're two broken people trying to do their best.

Yeah Hikaru is insane. But that's entitlement and privilege for you :D Some people really do be out there wildlin' like ma'aam hello??? have you seen yourself???

Yeah next part will have some angst because I like watching my characters suffer hehe.

Ah, the time old issue of an immortal lover paired with a mortal one...only time will tell what'll happen...

I don't have an outline but I have some ideas about events I want to happen in the middle & I sorta have an idea of how I want it to end. And that's also the reason why I'm planning on rewriting the series when I finish & have time to tighten some things up editorially, fix any discrepancies (esp timeline issues), etc etc. I wasn't expecting to get so attached to my first series, but I suppose it's expected since it's quite self-indulgent, and I relate to reader in some ways.

Anyway, thank you so much for your comments again! I read every single comment people leave me & they always make my day!!

me at any given moment when i read a nice comment:

#hua!answers

3 notes · View notes

him-e · 3 years

Note

what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there.

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected.

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable.

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic.

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part).

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned.

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no.

#anon #asks #*#sab for ts #long post #darklina for ts #malina for ts #sorry it took me a while but i wanted to see the whole season first

65 notes · View notes

bleachbleachbleach · 3 years

Text

Soul Society tattoo culture

These thoughts are inspired by @anza-redstar and @recurring-polynya's post about Hisana and SS’s tattoo culture, which I think is just fabulous.

I was thinking about this with Akon and like, whether the horns are something he grew into organically as a certain type of soul or whether it was a conscious body mod and if it’s the latter is Akon the guy everyone else goes to for all their body mod/fashion consults, because IF SO I am VERY into that!!

I do not know much about tattoos inside or outside of the Japanese context, but it did make me think about Okinawan hajichi and Ainu tattoo practices, which have come up in discussion at my work recently. This is something I’m still learning about, and I feel weird about bringing these topics into a headcanon about manga, even fleetingly, because the real-world conversations are very much about historical and ongoing Indigenous oppression, genocide, and cultural erasure. So I’ll just leave that at links to information, because I think the topic is important and definitely worth checking out! And say that it inspired me to think about how many tattoo cultures exist in Japan and where the contemporary taboo against tattoos/association with yakuza came from.

PRINT CULTURE

In addition to evergreen histories of violent colonization, it turns out that the Edo period was a big turning point in terms of tattooing in Japan. It was simultaneously the point at which modern tattooing developed in Japan as well as the period in which laws outlawing it started getting passed. (Of course!) Apparently the rise in modern tattooing was partially inspired by the development of woodblock printing, which showed tattooed heroes and began integrating these visuals into the popular culture, which is interesting to think about in the context of SS because I imagine these were also crucial in popularizing the practice in SS, too, since they are participants in cultural flows with the living realm (perhaps an even greater capacity back then than when Bleach takes place, given that mainstream belief in the existence of youkai in the living realm at that point would have been stronger). I would bet money on shinigami having also developed their own tattoo culture in-house, but I love the idea of there being critical interplay there, too!

WHO ENDED UP IN POWER?

Anyway, like the outlawing of most practices, in living-realm Edo it comes down to control (and a desire to "appear civilized" to other powers/to avoid their own colonization). The Tumblr post that inspired this one mentioned that most of the tattoos etc. we see are from shinigami, often noble families, rather than commoners, so it definitely seems like SS’s cultural history has unfolded as the reverse: There’s a sense of it being a high-end practice in SS/Seireitei (like it is in many cultures in our world too!), whether by birth or by virtue of high standing as a Gotei 13 officer. Perhaps the element of control exists in who is allowed to be tattooed, instead. Inasmuch as SS is modeled off the Edo period and inasmuch as its system of government reflects that, maybe it’s also a historical alternative in terms of who has ended up in power at the end of the violent pre-SS/Seireitei history that Yamamoto/Unohana/Kyouraku/Ukitake have alluded to.

It also makes me wonder whether these social mores would have been different, or would have changed, had their various dust-ups with other communities (i.e. the Quincy) gone differently. I remember like four things about TYBW, two of them are Rukia’s bankai, and none of them are about why anything happened or what the Wandenreich is, so CAN’T SAY MUCH BEYOND THAT UNTIL I FINISH MY RE-READ, but.

INDIVIDUALITY FOR WHOM?

The Seireitei seems to like order and uniformity at least to some degree (Yamamoto loves him some uniforms). But I imagine zanpakutou being so central to their society would definitely impact how they thought about these things, given how incredibly individual that relationship and its physical manifestation gets in its highest forms. (I mean, to bring in movie canon, if we’re willing to execute Kusaka because it is SACRILEGE to glitch and have the same zanpakutou as someone else, LOL, I guess individuality has to be somewhat important. Because like, my dudes, anyone who can summon shikai seems like someone you want to keep! There aren’t that many of you! You need all the help you can get!) Do you get to be individual if you’re not seated, or is that a privilege you have to earn? Do cannon fodder shinigami dream of the day they, too, might get to relish in the bold act of braiding their hair? Does Komamura still consider himself undeserving of such a privilege, hence the helmet? (Because god knows he is easily one of the most normal out of all this weirdo coworkers... Like Matsumoto implied, he needn’t have worried about standing out.)

This probably needs to be its own post, but I’m also interested in general about shinigami and their relationship to their bodies, which are clearly still important but also like… can’t possibly be the same relationship that regular humans have to theirs. Bringing reiryoku into one’s bodily conception (centering it, even) affords so many cool/interesting potentials! (As always please feel free to share your own hcs on this!)

#akon #bleach sociology #bleach headcanons #not a historian of japan #nor of tattoos #though LOL one time my sister suggested we all get a tattoo to honor the memory of my (japanese) grandmother #and i was like YOU GOOF i cannot imagine something she would be less proud of #she doesn't even like ear piercings!#both my sisters are tattooed though #just not with my grandma's handwriting #....yet

45 notes · View notes