#Beej-machinations

[cuddleswinchester]

Charles & Honoria, things you said over the phone // OR things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

Thank you so much for this one!! I went for the phone option :)

Charles is spared five minutes from OR. He sent ahead a wire to ensure Honoria would be home at the intended time. Of course, he didn’t realize he would be operating, but he could have assumed it with the way his luck has been lately. But Potter knows the nature of the call is important, and grants him the break. He needs to ask a favor for his newest, littlest bunkmate, before they resort to surrendering her to the monks.

Charles stares down at his watch, urgently retrieved from the scrub room purely for this task. Two precious minutes and forty-five seconds pass while Klinger tries to patch the call through to Boston on an increasingly long route. He peels off his gloves and throws them in the bin under Potter’s desk. There’s blood on his gown - on the cuff, on the belly - even a bit on his mask, which he has loosened to rest at his chest. He’s trying to trace each drop and each smudge back to their respective patients but it’s all kind of a blur. Then Klinger jolts up in his chair.

“Is this Miss Honoria Winchester?” Klinger asks, and tosses his hands up, ecstatic. He must’ve gotten a ‘yes.’

Panicking, Charles snatches the phone from his hand, nods in place of thanking him… Klinger whispers ‘good luck’ anyway.

“Hello, Honoria,” he sounds like a songbird. “I’m pleased to hear your voice.”

Klinger stays by the door. It’s a rare treat to hear the Major like this.

“Regrettably, I don’t have much time,” Charles goes on. “Yes. Yes, all of the details in the telegram… that is all we know about her. Yes. My name in every relevant field. Never mind my rep— Precisely... Oh, clever, I adore you. I knew one of our fraternities would come through. Well, in my case, I’m the most fortunate brother in the world.”

Klinger wants to ask exactly what web they’re weaving, but time is precious. He leans in, trying to overhear the other half of the conversation, but the connection must be poor, choppy.

“Airfare is no concern,” she says. “Th-th- thank you for… informing m-me of her.”

Charles thinks of the little girl, abandoned by her mother, without a roof over her head. Between their church and the rotary club and the debs’ charitable work, the paperwork should not be a problem. Is there room in all of that for love?

“Yes, I… I was compelled to, I’m sure you understand.”

“I do.”

“I have to go. Goodbye, and thank you.”

He hangs up on the five minute mark exactly, and looks up at Klinger.

“I told you, I would do anything for that little girl,” Charles says, and that is the end of his explanation.

[variousqueerthings]

ship bingo for sidney/hawkeye?

there's just something about the way sidney comes into and leaves the show that is so compelling to me in connection with hawkeye. then I read a fic where they have sex in lieu of therapy and it was amazing, so that hooked me

I don't ship them romantically, but I do love them along the lines of "surprisingly drama free, considering sidney is his psychiatrist during the war." is it healthy? nah, whatever. is it good stuff? oh yeah! it's more of a warbased thing than an otp thing for me

I think also it's partly that out of the main cast, they're the two that I associate the most with hanging around illegal gay bars outside of the war, and so I see that as a queer-recognises-queer kind of implicit comfort that includes sex (also depending on if headcanoning hawkeye as jewish, that recognition also!)

I circled "used to like them a lot more" because in my big post-mash daydream that is not something to be written down ever, they've mellowed into more of a casual but strong friendship, but that being said whenever I see them on the show I just think... yeah. and I don't even think either of them would angst about it either, they always seem to get where they stand with one another (that recognition again)

also um... allan arbus is just very attractive

maybe I should've ticked the headcanons one too, because I clearly do have a few of them

[summerreign4077]

Frank Burns Returns

One day during a lull in the fighting, the 4077th gets a surprise visitor: Lieutenant Colonel Franklin W. Delano Marion Burns. Frank goes to his old quarters, a tent known both affectionately and unaffectionately as The Swamp and finds his old Swamp mates, Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce and Captain BJ Hunnicutt, inside along with some guy who Frank has never seen before in his life. All three men look up as Frank enters. Hawk and Beej introduce Frank to their new Swamp mate, Major Charles Emerson Winchester III. Charles has heard, or at least absorbed against his will, all about his predecessor; none of it good. After a few exchanges of unpleasantries, Hawkeye and BJ introduce Charles to Frank.

Charles: “Ah, so it was your mental breakdown that lead to my incarceration in this inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world?”

Frank: “uhh, I guess so.”

Charles: “You’re the reason I wound up languishing in this fetid and festering sewer in this horrid cesspool performing meatball surgery on barely pubescent boys forced to act as cogs in a gluttonous war machine?”

Frank: (looking even more confused)“What’s it to ya, pal?”

(Charles looks over at Hawkeye and BJ, who nod. Charles proceeds to kick Frank in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain. Charles turns to leave, turns back towards Frank, and punches him in the face.) “Take that, Ferret Face!” (Charles turns to walk off with Hawkeye and BJ.)

Hawkeye: (laughing and patting Charles on the back) “If anyone asks, he slipped on a bar of soap!”

The End

[youremyheaven]

Can you elaborate on your experiences with goddess worship? 🩷🩷

I started my journey with goddess worship in 2022. Chanting has always appealed to me and chanting mantras (beej mantras of the deity in question) while visualising the deity is how it started for me. I was drawn to a certain Goddess almost instinctively even though I did not know much about her up until that point and connecting with her energy made me feel really good. I felt bodily sensations that felt powerful and by chanting, it's akin to embodying the energy of the Goddess within yourself and making yourself sacred??? I remember how during the height of my practice, I'd get told often that I emanate a certain "glow" and that I had a very sage like aura lmao. I just remember being stared at often and being perceived in an almost exalted way.

However late 2022- much of 2023 was a tough time for me and I fell out of touch with my practice and really suffered as a result. I felt myself go haywire, I gained more weight, my hair was falling out in chunks, my skin was breaking out and it's like I did a 180 😭 I felt really lost spiritually and otherwise and struggled to feel any kind of balance. And these had very physical repercussions for me.

Then obviously, I found my way back and I regained fresh perspective and how important my practices including Goddess worship have been in shaping my internal landscape. Several months ago, I struggled with severe anxiety and it was prayer that helped me get through it. During those times yoga did feel a bit mechanical or robotic but I kept doing it simply because I'd rather do it than not do it.

Finding my way back into the practice has taught me so much. Spirituality is truly a calling and no matter how much you read/research/practice, unless the Divine calls you, you will remain blind to the true nature of living. This is not to discourage anyone, in fact I suggest deep diving into it yourself and see what you gain from it. It's worthwhile to keep showing up everyday until you're called in further.

Also no spiritual practice makes you invulnerable. You're still human and you'll still make mistakes and be hurt/upset but you will have more grace moving through these experiences. You'll suffer less than others who make suffering their entire personality. One cannot embody the Goddess without also embodying her boundless mercy, infinitude reservoir of strength and tranquility.

It's always amusing to me when people say things like "oh why did the goddess not give you $5 billion and your dream life, what's even the purpose of worship them???" or "how can you be spiRitUaL when you watch movies/listen to music/are involved with men???". Being spiritually evolved does not mean you turn into a Zen master who lives in a cave.

The Goddess is not a vending machine. You want xyz things bc we live in a capitalist society where you're taught to value them. The Goddess gives you internally and when you're sorted within, you can make strides in life. Obviously she also often throws miracles your way but it's important to understand that the purpose of prayer and worship is not making $$$ or whatever. Im not saying you shouldn't pray for money or material things just that you shouldn't look at prayer as some kind of quick fix for financial woes???

You can still have a life, hobbies, interests etc and you don't have to "transcend" beyond them. You don't become less Zen by shaking your ass to Nicki Minaj 😬

However it will be hard to be a part of stan culture and celebrity worship because you won't care anymore and it won't feel right?? We worship money, fame and celebrities because our soul craves for connection and worship is inherently a part of our making. But it's important to not worship false gods (like money, fame and celebrities). Remember you are what you worship.

My personality has changed remarkably in the last couple of years and maybe even every few months, i feel like a new person and that's another feature of one's evolution. It's easier to accept and imbibe fresh insights and be comfortable with growth and change.

The concept of mantra purusha (which is different but similar to all the chanting ive been doing all along) is still very new to me (thank you to that anon who lmk about it) but Im reading David Frawley's book and it's all kind of coming together.

Goddess worship helps me feel connected to a profound nurturing spirit, a tranquil cosmic bliss, divine sensuality and ultimate peace and abundance.

All that said, do not start your Goddess worship unless you're prepared to commit to it daily and tbh once you start and feel its effect, you probably will want to worship everyday hehe

its actually helped me embody femininity in a way that did not feel limiting instead more transcendent, powerful and beyond whatever society tells you to be.

[andietries]

I was tagged by @bubblegumflavor for this ask game

I don’t know if this is true or not, but I don’t think I’m intimidating at all!

I’m going to tag: @dingoskidneys @lidensword

@spotforme @beej-machinations @frogayyyy @anyonewhowants

[vc55bughead]

SWORD AF S2×E2 SPOILERS BELOW!

Damien calling Fernie "The Inferno" and unlocking some of the biggest lore yet>>>>> : the reason they picked that name was BRILLIANT! To showcase him being a tree and part plant but him also being a literal machine- a furnace. *THE Furnace* 🤯🤯🤯

LADY-BUG 🤏🥺

THE PATTYCAKE MY HEART 😭😭😭

A BEEJ-

THE CLIFFHANGER STOP IT!!!!

we NEED more fun fluffy relaxed episodes that was so cool!

Also......🔥Henry🔥

[meltinginoz]

Weird Al scrubs I sewed when my roommate and I saw him in Melbourne last year, (he was lit as all geddup) I hand sewed these because every time I go to use a sewing machine I can’t find a part or it doesn’t wanna work or it’s in my folks room while my dad is taking a nap I swear it’s as bad as can openers! (Every can opener I’ve ever used except one has broken, we are talking tens of can openers, I also have horrible luck hearing tomato soup, these are my only flaws and none of em are my fault)

Anyhewwww it took SO LOOOONG UGHHH I was finishing the Madonna scrub gown the day before, and the scrub caps, I think I was trying to refrain from hot glue, but after much frustration I finished em, and I added pockets to the pants BEAT DECISION IVE EVER MADE I debated not doing em cos I SOOOOO didn’t wanna but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t so I was like go big or go home and those bad boys fit my keys, phone, wallet, a whole ass shirt, two bigass stickers, my friends stuff, makeup, so much!

ADD POCKETS TO YOUR COSTUMES!!!!!

It’s so useful and you don’t have to worry about a bag affecting your look, it’s one of my fav things about my beej costume, I had so much crap in my pockets, aaaaand it’s perfect for putting all the stuff you inevitably buy at cons, or shove a tote bag in it, or spiders and business cards (I did that for beej)

Oh also the glasses are $9 blue light ones from Kmart, fabulous for costumes, and the stache is alcohol activated paints and I curled my hair with straws overnight while it was damp, add mouse and a chemical warfare amount of hairspray, give your roommate asthma, also bobbypins!

Learn from my mistakes, I made em so you don’t have to, any questions ask away!

Ps due to the hotel having a distinct lack of chainsaws for photo ops I’m holding a can opener (in other pics I’m holding a saucepan and a broken electric toothbrush:)

[remyfire]

ooooohhhh Remy!!!!!!!! 🎲 for beejhawk, if the spirit so moves you???

AAAAA bless you, I was starting to wonder if just no one wanted this meme!! You get! A kiss in greeting!!

Kiss Roulette

It turns out that you can actually get used to anything in ways that you never expected could possibly be true. Hawk got used to the loudness of Boston as a resident. He got used to sleeping through bickering roommates in a little tent in Korea. He's even gotten used to the rhythm of running a medical practice again—family, something that lets him sleep easier through the night with every month that ticks by.

Honestly, the most unexpected thing that's finally become comfortable is how he feels in those rare weekends when he's in close proximity to Beej.

He never thought that could be possible. There was something about living on top of that man at the 4077th that kept Hawk an almost constant live wire. He's pretty sure that two years ago, if scientists sat them down, hooked them up to machines, and asked for Hawk to grab BJ's shirt, the frenetic energy burning his veins and making his heart pound could've probably powered the whole Boston subway system. But the distance, being on opposite sides of the country, it's...it's helped. Really. It's better for them.

Well. It's better for the sanctity of BJ's marriage, at least. Not that Hawk would've ever...not that he...

Listen, dreams need to stay in silent nights where they belong, okay? That's what really matters.

But letters are easier, thick envelopes that contain nothing but the most brotherly of affections. Phone calls, for the past year or so, have been calm, not tinged with a manic rush to fill every piece of silence, their voices sometimes completely overlapping and still somehow managing to understand everything the other was saying. And surprisingly, they've had opportunity to meet up at two separate medical conferences, and it's been fine! Better than fine! They can get dinner together and sit shoulder-to-shoulder during lectures and play poker for pennies, and Hawk can sometimes even sleep at night, knowing that BJ is only a floor or five away from him.

He cherishes this. There's...something unfathomably lovely in knowing that they have a lifelong friendship, the kind that's gonna last for the rest of their lives. One day, Hawk'll find time to date again. Maybe he'll be able to have kids after...after some more time to... Well, anyway, maybe he'll be able to go to California sometime and meet Erin for real and give Peg a nice kiss on the cheek, and maybe he'll have someone he can bring with him too, right? And it'll be nice. Better than nice.

Hawkeye is pondering all of this as he buttons his shirt after his shower at their third shared medical conference since they got back from the years he has ground down into a powder and blown out the window. He checks his chin to make sure that where he nicked himself shaving has finally stopped bleeding and isn't visibly irritated. The color of his shirt is nice on him. He's finally used to the silver in his hair, and as he flicks a lock away from his forehead, he wonders if BJ's finally succumbed to Peg's teasing and shaved his mustache, or if he's kept the dashing—

Anyway, Hawk's shirt looks good. Better than good.

There's a knock at the door and Hawkeye takes a deep breath, brushes his sleeve off, and wanders toward the door, cool as a cucumber. The moment he opens it, he grins, instantly caught in the warm rays of BJ Hunnicutt's smile. He's in about as loud of a shirt as he could get away with here as a professional, a sunny madras plaid mixed with pink and golden beams that make him think of what a sunset over California's beaches must feel like. Hawk is so overwhelmed by that platonic fondness that he laughs and reaches to pull him in for a hug.

"Hey!" Hawk exclaims just before he presses a kiss to BJ's soft mouth.

And then his heart explodes in his chest.

Hawkeye immediately pulls back with huge eyes. Stops. Breathes.

It turns out that BJ's cheeks can turn pinker than the lines on his shirt.

"Hi," BJ says very, very softly, his mouth hanging open after the word slips out.

Oh god shit fuck you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Okay, he can fix this, actually. He's just gotta...

Hawk forces another laugh, and it might've even worked if Beej hadn't spent so many years hearing the real thing. "Wow! God, have you ever been so happy to see a pal, you just—"

BJ shoves Hawk back hard with one hand on his chest, slams the door behind him, then whips Hawkeye around by the wrist to slam back into the wall. Like a hurricane, Beej breaks forward and buries his fingers in Hawk's wet hair just before he kisses him with smoldering intent.

It turns out that you can actually get used to anything. Like the taste of your best friend's tongue. Like the sting in your scalp that makes you groan. Like the heat of tears rushing down your face from something that can only be described as bone-shaking relief.

[bjfinn]

MOVIE NIGHT

another Charles Deetz story, for @koberet

Charles was heading to the TV room when Beej came over to him and threw an arm around his shoulders. "Hey, Chuck!" he said. "What'cha up to?"

"I thought I'd watch a movie this evening," Charles replied. He hesitated, and then asked, "Would you care to join me?"

"Yeah, sure!" the demon agreed. He followed Charles into the TV room and sat in one of the armchairs. "What are we gonna watch?"

"Let's see ..." Charles murmured, looking at the DVDs neatly arranged on the shelves of the wooden home entertainment cabinet. "How about ... Jaws? 1975, directed by Stephen Spielberg, starring Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss. Based on the novel by Peter Benchley." He knew that a high-seas thriller featuring a mindless killing machine would appeal to Beej -- he was a demon, after all. And it was fast-paced enough that he wouldn't get bored.

"What's it about?"

"Three men hunt down a man-eater," Charles told him.

"A man-eater, huh?" Beej said. "Okay, sounds good."

In truth, the demon had no idea if it would be a good movie or not -- but he and Lydia's father had begun to develop a real relationship since Charles had introduced Beej to bird-watching, and Beej enjoyed spending time with him.

Charles turned on the TV, popped the DVD into the player and settled himself in the other armchair.

The opening credits were followed by a sunset beach party scene that led quickly to Chrissie Watkins' stripping for an evening swim -- something that got Beej's attention immediately. He looked at Charles in surprise.

"I didn't think you were into this kinda thing, Chuck --" he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Then the actress suddenly screamed in terror, attacked by something under the water, and the demon nearly jumped out of his skin. He leaned forward in his seat, his eyes intently focussed on the screen, trying to get a glimpse of the monster, his breath quickening as he watched her flailing about in the ocean, until ... she was gone. Gone -- just like that.

"What -- what killed her?" he asked.

Charles looked over at him and smiled. "You'll see," he replied.

Beej conjured up a family-sized bucket of hot buttered popcorn and set it on the small table between their chairs. He grabbed a huge handful and shoved it into his mouth. "Help yourself, Chuck," he said, his cheeks stuffed like a hamster's. "Don't be shy -- there's plenty more where that came from!"

"Thanks," Charles replied, taking a smaller handful for himself.

*****

"I think I like Matt Hooper the best," Beej said after a while. "He's funny -- and he's kinda hot. I hope he doesn't get eaten. The other two, well ... they're kinda both assholes -- especially that Quint guy."

"Matt's played by Richard Dreyfuss," Charles told him. "This was his break-out role."

"What'd he break out of?"

"Obscurity."

Beej wasn't sure what that meant, but it didn't sound so good.

The demon had to admit that he was enjoying the movie immensely -- it was always fun seeing breathers get torn to pieces by a monster, after all. But there was one problem with this movie, and it was frustrating the hell out of him.

"When do we get to see the shark?" Beej asked.

"Soon, I promise," Charles replied.

"I hope so -- we've been watching for -- what? Five hours now?"

"An hour and ten minutes," Charles told him, chuckling.

"Okay, but still -- that's a long time to wait for the star of the show!"

*****

"There it is! " Beej exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the TV screen. "There's the shark! " His eyes grew wide, captivated by the appearance of the beast. "I think Brody's right -- they're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Charles laughed.

*****

"Why are they putting Hooper in that cage?" Beej asked, a note of concern in his voice. "He's gonna get eaten - that shark'll tear the cage to pieces!"

He watched, wide-eyed, as the cage was lowered into the water and the shark began its approach. "Get the fuck outta there!" he exhorted. "Whaddya think you're doing, you moron? Hurry! Get --"

The shark hit the cage head-on, and Beej let out a whimper. Charles was intrigued -- the demon was showing empathy for a stranger? And a fictional character to boot?

Beej's breathing was coming in short, sharp bursts as he watched his favourite character's life flash before his eyes. For the first time in his unlife, Beej felt the terror experienced by a breather facing a monster. When Hooper drew his knife and stabbed at the shark, Beej's lip curled in satisfaction - at least the shark wasn't going to get away completely uninjured.

Finally, when Hooper managed to get out of the now-battered cage and swim to a safe hiding place, Beej let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close," he said. "I'm glad he got away."

*****

"So?" Charles asked when the movie ended. "What did you think?"

"Why did they hafta blow it up?" Beej said, his eyes welling up. "Fuckin' bastards!"

Charles smiled ruefully. "It was killing people."

"It was just tryna survive, for crissakes!" A tear rolled down his cheek. "Poor guy -- all he wanted was a snack. At least it ate that guy Quint." He looked at Charles. "Sometimes you breathers suck, you know that?"

Charles nodded. "Sadly, you're right about that," he said. "Sometimes we suck."

"Good movie, though," Beej said. He regarded Charles thoughtfully. "That was me, wasn't it?"

"What do you mean, BJ?"

"I'm the shark. I'm the monster." There was no trace of sorrow in his voice -- in fact, he seemed rather pleased with the idea.

Charles didn't know what to say to that.

"Hey -- it's okay, Chuck," Beej said with a grin. "I'm a demon, remember? I'm supposed to be a monster."

"Yes, well ... you're different," Charles told him. "You're a sentient being -- you have the capacity to learn, to become more than just a killing machine. The shark was driven solely by instinct."

"You gettin' sweet on me, Chuck?" Beej teased.

"I'm ... I'm saying that you can be more than just a monster -- you are more than just a monster. You're part of the family now."

"Thanks," Beej said. "I really appreciate you guys bein' so good to me. Nobody was ever nice to me before. Nobody ever cared about me like you guys do."

Charles nodded. "I can't imagine how hard it was."

"Yeah, you're lucky."

"Did you want to tell me about it?" Charles said. "What it was like?"

Beej looked at him. "You really wanna hear about it?"

"Only if you want to -- and only as much as you're comfortable sharing with me."

And so Beej began telling Charles about growing up in the Netherworld -- resented by his mother, despised and shunned by everyone. He told Charles about Sandy, his pet sandworm, and how she was killed by a bully. He told him about growing up not trusting anyone or anything except himself, how he learned to defend himself -- with both magic and humour.

He told Charles everything. Well, almost everything.

"My God," Charles exclaimed when the demon had finished. "I had no idea. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, BJ."

Beej shrugged. "Yeah, well ... that's all over now," he said. "Now I have you guys."

Charles looked at his watch. "It's getting late," he noted. "I should get to bed." He got to his feet. "I'm glad you enjoyed the movie, BJ. And ... thank you for telling me about your life. If you ever feel the need to talk some more, my door is always open."

"Okay, thanks!" Beej said, grinning and giving Charles a thumb's-up as the breather exited the TV room. "G'night ... Dad."

Charles looked back at the demon, surprised. "Uh ... good night, son." He smiled to himself. "Dad," he said softly as he headed for the bedroom. "I like that." By the time he got into bed, he was grinning from ear to ear.

[tuttle-4077]

The 2024 Papa Bear Awards Nominees Continued

Best Portrayal of a Canon Character

Carter in A Brother's Bond by PicassoPenguin

Newkirk in A Deserved Gift by Cardinal Rose

Klink in Ashes by LightShiner14

Newkirk in Autumn Winds by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Kinch in Card Games, Vampires, and a Very Late Letter by TheSailingRabbit

Newkirk in Cracking the Vault by Sierra Sutherwind

Hogan in Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Newkirk in Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Carter in Exit, Pursued By A Bear by pronker

Klink in Klink's Brother by Sam Worth

Kinch in Mama Bear by PicassoPenguin

Newkirk in Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

LeBeau in Operation Mother Hen by Tuttle4077

Hogan in Sergeant 'Don't You Sass Me, Hogan' Wilson by whatisthismandoinghere

LeBeau in Spring Flowers by Tuttle4077

Newkirk in The Assassin by lonewolfette9846

Newkirk in Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Hogan in Well and Truly Got by Cardinal Rose

Klink in Yoga Session by Deepbluethinking

Best Portrayal of a Canon Extra

Lagenscheidt in A Brief Moment by TheSailingRabbit

Gertrude Linkmeyer in In Too Deep by Crystal Rose of Pollux

General Burkhalter in No Rest For the Weary by Frau Wilhelm Klink

Hochstetter in Of Defectors and Strawberries by Hochstetter's Lady

Marya in Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

Wilson in Sergeant 'Don't You Sass Me, Hogan' Wilson by whatisthismandoinghere

Hochstetter in The Major's Malaise by Vintronics

Olsen in The Pigeons Strike Back by TheSailingRabbit

Lagenscheidt in Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Marya in Unfair by PicassoPenguin

Wilson in Words of a Wise Wilson by whatisthismandoinghere

Best Original Character

Kurt Vedit in A Gathering of Friends Old and New by TheSailingRabbit

Lothar in Cracking the Vault by Sierra Sutherwind

MacDonald in Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Veidt in Focus by TheSailingRabbit

Adam Jones in Heroes by Sam Worth

Aunt Millie in My Dear Bob by Dabbled-at-Euchre

Karl Unger in Of Defectors and Strawberries by Hochstetter's Lady

Sasha in Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

Pitts, Potts, & P. 'Gregory" Putter in The Murder That Never Happened by Khebidecia

Reiger in The Pigeons Strike Back by TheSailingRabbit

The Pigeon with the Monocle in The Pigeons Strike Back by TheSailingRabbit

The Wind in The Winds of the World by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Best Story of 2023

Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Heroes by Sam Worth

Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

The Winds of the World by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Well and Truly Got by Cardinal Rose

Best Multimedia Entry

Bullet Proof Vest by taylorsshitposts

Englishman in New York by Vielmouse

Every Group Needs by beej-machinations

Gin by Benevolenterrancy

Go Ask Mother by Benevolenterrancy

He's Blue by taylorsheroes

Hogan's Sea Shanty by Vielmouse

Hogan's Senses by Vielmouse

Marya: Unstoppable by Oconee Belle

Newkirk's Cap by Benevolenterrancy

Reality Vs Perception by Frau Wilhelm Klink

Rewired by Vielmouse

Subterfuge by Benevolenterrancy

Here's the rest of them! Congratulations to everyone, and thank you to those who participated in the Nomination Round. Please join us for the Voting Round. Votes are due April 21st. You can fill out the ballot found on the website and send it to papabearawards@yahoo.com or send it via PM to the Papa Bear Awards FFN account. Or you can fill out this easy-peasy survey.

@benevolenterrancy @beej-machinations @frau-wilhelm-klink  @whatisthismandoinghere @rose-of-pollux @radarsteddybear

[itsdefinitely]

my favorite things in the performance of beetlejuice i saw live

TLDR; this is an unfinished list and i love beetlejuice the musical

- alex brightman being in the show

- literally all of it

- everyone cheers when beej says "Holy crap, a ballad already"

- "Hey guys, ain't it pretty? Look who's back in New York City! Since your live have been super shitty, let's start on, y'know the whole being dead thing."

- "that was an old Scandinavian folk song, i like to think i put my own spin on it"

- all of the transitions between scenes but especially when the graveyard turns into the house and beej says "it's a lot bigger on the inside!" because it was genuinely epic

- when Barbara says "look at these jugs!" beej turns around excited

- "this is what life is, it's just a bunch of Howards and then you die"

- Barbara gets her hand caught on fire i don't know how they did that

- Barbara "you give me the creeps" Beej "you give me a boner!" [pulls out a bone] "that's a femur"

- beej has a whistle during the whole being dead thing pt. 2

- the house retracts during dead mom and lydia stands on an empty stage during the long notes

- Adam gets turned around by beej when Barbara is doing the screams so that Barbara can focus

- a whole choir shows up during beej's soliloquy in fright of their lives

- "don't text in the middle of the night saying 'you up' because-" [pause because he's trying to hold back tears] "-new phone [sing song] whoooooooooooo~ [normal] dis?"

- *throws smoke bomb* "BAM! I'm gone." *jazz hands*

- "The Maitlands, more boring than Brigadoon."

- when beej takes the door down instead of saying "fuck you guys" he says "fuck brigadoon"

- Adam and Barbara with sheets over their heads

- Delia fortnite dancing during no reason

- beej complaining about his mom to lydia

- beej's hair turning purple during the roof scene

- smoke coming out of where beej falls during say my name

- during say my name Barbara learns to throw her voice

- during day-o beej comes out of the table (so proud of him) when lydia says his name

- the lights going dark when the skye goes inside to change to the inside of the house + skye had a flashlight

- during that beautiful sound, after the rip-off joke the actor holds the fake arm in between their legs (cuz no arms obvi) and beej says "that looks like a penis!"

- the pie gets flung out of the door, the actor doesn't even catch it

- i forgot when, but at some point Delia ran into the wall while exiting the stage

- the actor playing otho/Kevin looked like a discount jesus (not making fun of the actor just a thing i noticed that enhanced the character to me)

- "exorcism. death for the dead!"

- during the while being dead thing pt. 4 (good old fashioned wedding) beej's hair turns red

- "it's a green card thing!"

- the entire netherworld scene (especially the chase part)

-what i know now but one guy fell fully over, like they slipped and fell. i dont think anyone noticed but me. i noticed. i see you chorus member that fell.

- the whole life or death scene but specifically Adam's jeopardy podium thing says 'sexy' instead of his name

- "HOLD ON JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE" *everyone cheers*

- during Adam and beej's kiss (#lovewins) beej got REALLY into it

- Barbara slaps Adam and then they both say "Maitlands 2.0" to make sure they're on the same page

- Charles and Adam distracting beej while lydia gets the plan moving during creepy old guy

- beej with the tear away costume and slicked back hair

-the lights changing to pink when they say "i can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright" and the entire on-stage cast singing (including beej he doesn't even use the demon voice)

- beej coming alive, feeling emotions, and then dying in the span of 4-5 minutes (y'know, fair)

- Juno having a smoke machine around her chest and making it seem like she's smoking

- when beej says "this guy knows what im talking about" the third time he starts laughing a lot and saying stuff like "three times!" and breaking the fourth wall while all the other characters stand there confused

-"YOU TRICKED ME but with love" -beej as hes pushed off the stage by juno

- beej riding sandy (the sandworm) and wearing a cowboy hat

- "Look lydia, now we both have dead moms!"

-beej giving Adam his dead mother's leg and saying "you're boring, but you're sexy. own that."

- "maybe I'll find my father." [gasp] "sequel??" *bad imitation of airhorns*

- when beej goes to the netherworld he says "fuck brigadoon" again instead of "tell my story"

- lydia floating during jump in the line- the stage going dark and the deetzes + maitlands being spotlighted in pink in a hug during the last "im home"

[liaislying]

Doodle of beej I did w copics/pencil. I love him I wanna toss him in a washing machine and wash him go through a sanitizing cycle

[obsessive-ego]

Y/n: I really appreciate you helping out around the house, it means alot

Beej: no prob toots♡

Cuts to Beetlejuice sitting on top of the washing machine as it runs through the spin cycle, his hair buzzing magneta

[amrv-5]

Parker I am literally here just to ask if giving Beej a danger kink was intentional or if I misread his reaction here because my erotic-monster-romance writing ass has been haunted. HAUNTED, I SAY.

BJ returned his hand to Hawkeye’s hair, his pulse spiking. He shoved up against Hawkeye’s weight, but Hawkeye pinned him easily with his forearm, and BJ let out a quiet moan, his hips jumping, his belly heaving in reactive pleasure.

Hawkeye opened his mouth wider, teeth scraping against BJ’s skin. Not breaking it. Not quite. Not yet. It wasn’t time. 

“You could kill me,” BJ said, a gasp, a revelation. 

Hawkeye growled again, possessive, baring his teeth, spit smearing across his chin, slicking BJ’s neck, blood running hot just below the skin. He could. It would be easy. The first time was simple. And that had been a hunt. But this time, with the thing laid out underneath him willingly, open, inviting, baring its neck to him, completely submissive, deferential to his sheer power? It’d be the simplest thing in the world. 

“But you wouldn’t,” BJ breathed. “You wouldn’t, would you? You could, but you’d never—” BJ’s pulse was picking up, his hold on the back of Hawkeye’s neck intensifying, until, with a shattered gasp, he came, and tightened his grip so suddenly Hawkeye’s fangs punctured BJ’s neck. 

ahehehehe hiiiiiiii thank you for the ask love this. answer below the cut for length pretentiousness and NSFW:

anyway YES!!! HAHAHAHA YES!!!! YOU READ THAT RIGHT!!!!

For me this was running a balance between a danger kink and BJ getting off on some really complex power dynamics he's only just realized he's into. There's the obvious sexiness of the very present danger, Hawk essentially with a weapon to his throat, but he's also really into I think both the fact that 1. Hawkeye has overpowered him in the moment... and 2. that, in some ways, BJ thinks HE has the true power in the situation. He's both extremely vulnerable and yet believes that he's possibly in control because this Extremely Strong and Dangerous Thing (...so he thinks) would never actually hurt him.

Meanwhile Hawkeye ALSO isn't quite sure how those dynamics are going to play out, either. He's maybe hungry, thinking more than half-seriously about how easy it would be to kill BJ, and yet at the same time he's genuinely focused on bringing him pleasure, and feels possessive of him.

But then again does it only seem to BJ like he's in control because Hawk isn't particularly hungry in that moment? Is he aware that his safety is in fact extremely situational, thus bringing us back to a more straightforward danger kink? There's a reason I didn't have Hawkeye resolve his thought about whether or not he wants to eat or fuck BJ, or if he can even delineate his appetites from each other any more.

So (minor aside that will make sense in a second I promise) when I was writing this fic (as is I think desperately obvious) I was in my senior year of college and taking at the same time a class on the religion, poetry, philosophy and culture of death, and a class on Cronenberg and Lynch. When we watched "They Fly" for seminar, my professor framed flies (and things with fly-like characteristics, like *ahem* Brundlefly) as unsettling because they're "appetitive machines," and that phrasing stuck with me as a central image for the entirety of this fic.

That--this idea of the "appetitive machine"--comes out big time in the feeding AND sex scenes in Aspirin/Sorrow, because I was trying to frame vampirism as this state of mind where all desire starts to meld. So even the objects of that desire (in this case BJ) can't quite tell if they're, you know, going to be eaten or eaten.

So tl;dr absolutely he was getting off on the danger and power because I was blatantly stealing from Cronenberg and a bunch of my fellow classmates' talking points for the whole of that fic thank you to my boy Cronenberg for making his body horror sexy thank you to my overeducated liberal arts hippie pals for having such good thoughts about the sexiness of transformation in Cronenberg's work last year and THANK YOU for READING!!!!!

[movietonight]

Since I combined both Hyde timelines and @beej-machinations combined the Tuttle and Bombshells timelines what other episodes would be fun if they happened at the same time?

Discuss.

[old-wild-child]

Ohhhhhhh, The Second Apartment please!

Ok, so this is kind of an extended take on this post of mind about The Apartment. (And yes, I titled it “Second Apartment” because I am LAME when it comes to naming shit).

Basically I find Fran a very interesting character and I think she has a lot of potential for a well studied background while C.C. gets to know her better. I also was wondering if her suicide attempt we see in the movie was her acting out of character in a moment of pain, or if her heartbreak was the straw that broke the camel’s back so to say. (Also shoutout to @beej-machinations who thought the original post was a galaxy take on The Nanny, which kept me laughing for days).

I feel awful because I actually haven’t written anything except this exchange, which Fran has another suicide attempt that happens around the time she and C.C. are scheduled for a nice courthouse wedding.

Fran: “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

C.C.: “Only if you’re up for it.”

Again, this is a fic I just started THINKING about, so apologies if this isn’t the answer you are hoping for :(