#Buck breaks saying he’ll never be a father

[ikilledyvette]

(Realized I was never gonna finish this long ass 9-1-1 fic before the premiere, so today I’m doing the seriously condensed version for Tumblr—which I still have to break into two parts, ffs.)

It’s Thursday afternoon, three days before Father’s Day, and the atmosphere at the 118 is grim. Gerrard is gone, at least, and everyone celebrated with cake—specifically, a Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead! cake, complete with a chocolate house crushing little black boots—but to everyone’s surprise, Buck isn’t exactly welcoming Bobby home with open arms anymore. He hasn’t forgiven Bobby for resigning in the first place. Making matters worse, Margaret and Philip Buckley are flying in for the weekend. Also, Eddie is depressed because Chris hasn’t called since he left for Texas six weeks ago, and Eddie doesn’t expect to hear from him on Sunday, or possibly ever again.

Hen tells Eddie Christopher will forgive him. “He’ll come home. He just needs a minute.” Eddie says that six weeks is a hell of a minute, but Hen persists. “You’re a good father,” she says, ignoring Eddie’s humorless laugh. “You messed up; I’m not saying you didn’t. But that doesn’t negate all the good you’ve done, too. Kids, they want you to hear them. They want you to show up, so when Christopher calls, pick up the phone and listen. You two love each other, Eddie. It’s going to work out.”

But Eddie’s gaze just drifts to the kitchen, where Bobby is quietly looking at the stack of uneaten fire-engine-shaped mini-waffles that Buck refused to eat, even though he’s the one who bought Bobby that ridiculous novelty waffle-maker in the first place

“You ever think maybe love just isn’t enough,” Eddie says, and Hen isn’t sure how to answer that.

*

Meanwhile, Chimney, thankfully, has the day off and is drinking a beer with Tommy. (Hen, left to deal with these weird morose vibes at the 118 by herself, quite rightly considers this a betrayal and has appropriately sworn revenge.) Chimney and Tommy talk a little about their own families: Tommy hasn’t spoken to his dad in years; meanwhile, Chimney finally gave up months ago after actually telling his dad how he really felt about being abandoned. He just needed to hear his father apologize once, just once—but he couldn’t do that, not even that, and Chimney decided enough was enough. 

Tommy, who’s only ever met the Buckley Parents one time (but has quickly clocked to Buck’s wildly shifting moods whenever discussing them), asks Chimney how much of a disaster this weekend is likely to be. Chimney tells Tommy that—apart from big family secrets and the general emotional trauma—every time the Buckleys visit, someone comes close to death: warehouse fire (Buck), lightning strike (Buck), viral encephalitis (Chimney). 

“Maybe don’t go up in a helicopter till they’re gone?” Chimney suggests, and Tommy says, “Jesus,” and gets another beer.

*

Back at the 118, things have gone from bad to worse. A call leads to Buck recklessly risking his own life to save someone. He walks away with only a few bruises, but Bobby yells at him for nearly getting himself killed. Buck snarks that he must still be that young, impulsive hothead after all. Bobby, a bit at a loss, tells Buck that he has come a long way, but he can’t put himself in danger just because he’s angry at Bobby. 

“What is this really about? You can talk to me, kid. I’m here.”

“Right,” Buck says, scornful. “You’re here. For ... how long again? Seven more, I think you said? No—no, you never actually said, did you? That one’s on me. Right, Cap?”

The bell goes off, ending the argument. Bobby tries to talk to Buck again after the shift, but Buck is already out the door. He barely gets any sleep that day before he and Tommy drive over for The Big Family Dinner. Tommy tries to talk Buck into staying home, suggesting they go tomorrow night instead, but Buck insists it will be a Thing if they don’t go.

Dinner goes badly. Margaret and Phillip aren’t intentionally rude or actively malicious, but there’s still a thread of casual biphobia in much of what they say: Evan’s always going through these phases. Well, if it’s not a phase, Evan, you must have known; how could you not? Please don’t misunderstand, Tommy, of course we like YOU. Very much! Yes, Tommy, thank you for your service. We’re just saying, Evan likes to throw us for a loop now and then. Really, Evan, you’ve had so many girlfriends you’re basically straight, aren’t you?

Buck finally loses it shortly after Maddie goes into the other room to check on Jee Yun. Margaret suggests that while she’s happy that Buck and Tommy are happy, of course—happy for now, at least—she’d just hoped Buck would’ve started to settle down by now, get serious about someone, rather than start experimenting. Phillip also jokes that he’d thought Buck had outgrown making bids for attention, and Buck just—snaps. 

“Why did I have to work so hard to get your attention again? Right. Cause it was too hard to look at me. Cause I was the reminder of what you lost, the screwup you got left with. Maybe if Daniel had grown up and turned out bi, you’d—"

—and Margaret slaps Buck across the face. 

It shocks everyone, very much including Margaret, but when Buck finally blinks and glances at his dad, Phillip automatically moves to stand behind his wife, silently taking her side. Buck, a bit dazed, mutters he’s sorry and tells Chimney not to tell Maddie what happened, right before Tommy all but pushes Buck out the door and drives him home.

Buck, still a little shellshocked, mostly can’t believe he said what he said, insists he shouldn’t have gotten that upset, and tries to brush off Tommy’s efforts to comfort him. Tries to get him to leave. Tries to distract him with sex when Tommy refuses to leave. Tommy, not having any of it, sits Buck down and talks a little about his own childhood, how he’d run away from home after his father had found out Tommy was gay, how—broken and bleeding—Tommy had never called, never looked back. Buck protests it’s not the same because Margaret and Philip aren’t abusive, have never hit him before tonight, aren’t really homophobic—at least, not in the same way—and also, Buck deserved that slap. 

“Who throws a dead kid in their parents face?” Buck asks, miserable.

“Someone who lived under the shadow of a brother he never knew about for 30 years?” Tommy asks, then takes Buck’s hand and makes Buck look at him.

“Look, maybe it’s not the same. You’re never going to convince me you deserved it, Evan, not any of it—but what I’m saying is, when people repeatedly hurt you? You don’t have to look back. You don’t have to keep trying. You can, if that’s what you want—but you don’t have to forgive anyone just because they’re family. That’s not what being a family should be. And, for what it’s worth, that includes Bobby, too. Just ... maybe consider what you’re actually angry about—or if it’s even anger you’re really feeling here—before deciding to cut him off for good.” 

Slowly, Buck sinks into Tommy’s side. Tommy wraps an arm around him. Kisses him gently just above birthmark.

(Part II is finished, coming tomorrow or the next day)

[theotherbuckley]

Ok ok so we all love to give Buck trauma… season 7 Connor and Kameron’s kid gets Leukaemia… Buck feels like he’s fucked up again… leading to the well deserved Buck Breakdown :)

[alittlebitofloveliness]

More Darry Curtis headcanons

-Goes to every single parent/teacher interview night or open house at Ponyboy’s school, even if he has to take off work. Part of it is because he’s determined to be a good guardian but part of it is because he just proud of Pony and likes hearing from teachers how great he is

-Speaking of how great Pony is, Darry brags about Pony SO much. Like his work crew and the gang never stop hearing about how great the kid is…except when the kid is present. Then you couldn’t get a compliment out of him if you pried his jaw open

-He and Sodapop both have a soft spot for soap operas and watch them together super late at night so no one else in the gang- Pony included- will find out. (Steve caught them once but he just sat down quietly, waving away their hasty attempts to explain themselves, muttering for them to shut up, and that he used to watch them with his mom when she was still around. The three of them finished the episode and went to bed without saying anything else.)

-Loves music of all kinds (I just know he’d be one of those guys that is SO into music history and makes it everyone else’s problem) “did you know this song was meant to be an apology to-“ “-to some random broad, we know Dar, now shut up would ya?”

-Is left handed

-He and Two-bit butt heads quite a bit but he’s also closer to Two than almost anyone else in the gang because they’re the closest in age. They have so many inside jokes that the rest of the gang gets confused because Two can sometimes get him to snicker from seemingly innocuous remarks that aren’t funny to anyone but Darry

-Has dragged Soda (and Steve by extension) away from Buck’s too many times to count and is pissed every time

-Worries the whole time when he goes on ski trips with his old buddies. He worries a lot anyway, but it’s always worse when he’s too far from home to get there immediately  if something happened. Both Soda and Pony know this so they’re actually better behaved when he’s gone than when he isn’t

-Speaking of the ski trips, he always comes back glowing, for once looking his age, so the gang encourages him to go as much as possible. They have to be subtle about it though, because he gets suspicious that they’re planning something if they make it too obvious they’re trying to get him to leave, and then there’s no way in hell he’ll go

-Loves rodeos but unlike Soda has never and never wanted to participate in one

-Mother's day and father's day are contentious days in the Curtis house ever since the accident, so Soda and Pony just designated a random day as 'Darry Day" and got him little gifts, and did all the housework because they really do appreciate everything he does for them. Darry was super touched and vehemently denies tearing up when he saw the card Pony made for him

-His bond with Tim Shepard is hard for the gang, Darry himself, and even Tim to figure out, but it’s very strong despite how little they actually interact

-Despite refusing to ever go to the hospital, he’s actually the absolute worst patient when he’s sick. It takes a lot for him to admit that he’s ill, but once he does he’s absolutely insufferable. Pony and Soda takes turns taking care of him because they’re both liable to lose their temper if they have to do it for too long without a break. (“Soda my head hurts” “I know Darry” “Soda I need a glass of water” “you have a glass of water” “but Soda it’s not cold” “I got you a new one five minutes ago” “but Soda it warmed up” “damnit! Pony tag in, you deal with him, I need a smoke” “Pony I’m dying” “you’re not dying Dar” “yes I am” "no you're not")

-He’s a super fast walker. Like, anyone shorter than him has to jog a lil to catch up

-He’s a cat person. Pony and Soda are both dog people, and it has caused more than one argument despite the fact they have no pets and couldn’t afford  one even if they could agree on what they wanted

-He and Soda definitely made a secret handshake when they were little, and he still remembers every single move of it even though they haven’t done it in years and he isn’t sure if Soda even remembers making it

[hotshotsxyz]

6x10 Coda

if that episode wrecked you as bad as it wrecked me, this won't help

Thirty seconds before Eddie got to Buck. 

Maybe another minute before they got him in the ambulance. 

Three minutes to the hospital. 

Five minutes without oxygen before the brain begins to take permanent damage. 

Eddie presses the gas pedal all the way to the floor. It’s still not fast enough. 

He can’t look at Bobby. Can’t risk taking his eyes off the road for even a split second because Buck is in the back of this ambulance and if Eddie loses his concentration for a moment it could cost him his life. 

Drive, he thinks, the only thought that’s safe. Drive. 

Eddie eases off the gas as they enter the ambulance bay, but doesn’t touch the brake until the last possible second. He jerks on the parking brake before the ambulance rolls back even an inch and throws himself outside. He sprints around to the back, and as soon as the gurney’s wheels touch the pavement, he jumps on and begins compressions. 

Eddie doesn’t think. Doesn’t allow himself to think because if he thinks it might occur to him that Buck’s odds of survival are worse than his were when he was shot. It might occur to him that this could easily be the last time he ever touches Buck’s still warm flesh. It might occur to him that Christopher is expecting them both to come home tomorrow, because Buck promised to make them Bobby’s famous chili and Buck never breaks a promise where he and Christopher are concerned. 

Eddie doesn’t think. 

Eddie can’t think. 

They burst through the sliding glass doors of the hospital, and in moments, someone is pulling him off Buck. He fights back. He keeps doing compressions. Buck needs him. 

“Eddie!” someone shouts. 

Eddie ignores them. 

“Eddie, you have to let them do their jobs!”

For the briefest of moments, Eddie falters. Hands find his shoulders and pull him back. 

“We’ll do everything we can,” a woman in scrubs says, and then he’s gone. 

Eddie heaves in a ragged breath and sags against the person behind him. Strong arms hold him up. 

“Eddie, they've got him,” Bobby says. 

I can’t do this again, Eddie thinks. 

…

The waiting room is cold and unnaturally quiet. Eddie’s uniform is soaked through. There’s a dull pain in his arm, one that’s been growing with each passing minute. 

Someone needs to call Maddie. 

Selfishly, Eddie hopes Chimney is the one to do it. He knows he’s going to have to say it out loud eventually, but he can’t. Not yet. Not until he knows exactly what he needs to prepare himself to say. 

Buck’s in the hospital. Again. You’d better bring some of that sparkling water he likes so much. 

Buck’s hurt. He’s going to be fine, but the doctors say he should rest until tomorrow. 

No, Buck’s not okay. The doctor’s don’t know when he’ll wake up. 

No, Buck’s not okay. The doctor’s don’t know if he’ll wake up. 

Buck’s dead. 

A sob jumps from the back of Eddie’s throat, and once the first one is loose, there’s nothing he can do to stop the ones that follow. Eddie hunches in on himself and squeezes his eyes shut. The room around him is closing in, and knowing he’s having another panic attack doesn’t make it any easier to handle. 

Arms encircle his shoulders and pull him tight against a chest he’s cried into before. 

“I– I can’t,” Eddie gasps. 

“I know,” Bobby whispers. 

His voice is wrecked. He sounds just as bad as Eddie, maybe worse. And Eddie– Eddie should be doing something to comfort him, too. Buck is Bobby’s just as much as he’s Eddie’s. But Eddie feels like a child, wrapped in his father’s arms, unable to do anything except cry. 

“It’s Buck,” Eddie sobs. 

“I know.”

“Bobby, I can’t lose him,” he admits. It feels like he’s saying more than that, but he can’t keep it in. “I can’t,” he repeats, over and over. 

I can’t do this again.

[gerrystamour]

cut the lights and make me your oblivion [gift fic]

Explicit★Steddie★2217 words★Complete

Gift fic for the lovely @corrodedbisexual ! Happy birthday!! Steve sits at his desk, looking over some of the plans for a new development his father was looking to build, but if he’s honest he hasn’t been reading them in a while. It’s a battle to not look down. Steve knows he’ll break if he does, so he holds the folder in his hands a bit more strategically to aid in keeping his composure. CW: Soft Dom Steve, sub Eddie, Good Boy Eddie, Cockwarming (Oral), Face-Fucking, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Creampie

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Steve sits at his desk, looking over some of the plans for a new development his father was looking to build, but if he’s honest he hasn’t been reading them in a while. Slouching back in his chair and shifting his hips closer to the edge of the seat, Steve sighs as his half-hard cock slides deeper into the wet heat wrapped around it. A contented, moaning sigh vibrates down the length, and Steve’s eyes cross as they flutter.

It’s a battle to not look down. Steve knows he’ll break if he does, so he holds the folder in his hands a bit more strategically to aid in keeping his composure.

That is, until he feels the slow, torturous trickle of spit down his cock and pooling at the base, dispersing in the thick thatch of curly hair on his balls. It’s ticklish and almost unpleasant, but it’s also so, so good it takes everything in him not to buck his hips up.

With a forced, put-upon sigh, Steve braces himself and says, “You’re drooling again, princess. Should I start calling you puppy instead if you keep this up?” He’s actually quite proud of how bland he was able to keep his tone with his hardening cock sitting inside a pliant, hot mouth.

Steve feels the whimper around his cock shoot up his spine and settle in his brain, hot and hazy, and then the mouth around his girth sucks wetly. It’s filthy, all those slurping and whimpering noises that gurgle up as the mouth on is dick swallows, and every fiber of Steve’s being focuses on not fucking that pretty, obedient mouth. By the time his perfect little cockwarmer is done cleaning up its mess, Steve is at full hardness and more than ready to be done with this particular part of the game.

Tossing the folder onto the desk, Steve finally looks down at Eddie—his perfect, beautiful Eddie, kneeling between his knees, naked except for a full set of leather cuffs, complete with a collar and belt. None of the cuffs are connected to each other or anything, they’re just there like a promise. Steve is struck with a recurring fantasy of putting a ring in the floor right where Eddie was kneeling to latch his wrist cuffs to, to ensure his good behaviour.

But Eddie was always such a good boy for Steve, he never actually had to make him behave like that.

Eddie’s eyes are half-lidded, dazed and hazy, his expression so blissful and faraway that Steve wishes he could endure this exquisite torture just a bit longer. He knows Eddie loves this, loves being used—his eagerness to please, to be useful showing itself. The moment Steve starts to feel another trickle of spit start, Eddie is quick to slurp it back up and swallow, his eyes fluttering as Steve feels his cock pulse.

“You’ve been such a good boy for me, princess,” Steve breathes, and Eddie’s blissed out expression shifts into something so happy, Steve’s heart aches with his affection. “Always so good for me.”

Eddie whimpers happily, the vibrations shivering though Steve’s core, and he obediently holds his mouth still. With another little sound, Eddie tilts his head to rest his cheek against Steve’s thigh, blinking lazily up at Steve as he waits. Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to Eddie being so patient and still.

“I think you’ve earned a reward, even if you’ve been messy,” Steve says, stroking Eddie’s cheek, relishing in the way his eyes roll back at the promise of a reward. “How do you want my cock, sweet boy?”

Eddie—the perfect, gorgeous, good boy that he is—does not lift his mouth off of Steve’s cock without permission, even to answer a direct question. He knows that a question isn’t inherent permission to stop, knows that there are many ways he can answer Steve without his mouth.

Steve watches, eyes hungry and desperate, as Eddie reaches back and grabs his perfect little ass, spreading the cheeks and nudging the base of a thick plug Steve put there at the start of all of this. Eddie looks up at him pleadingly, his eyes glassy now that he was so close to getting his reward, and he arches his back enough that Steve can actually see the edge of the plug’s flared base. There it is, the impatience Steve always expects, but Eddie was still keeping it in check, still waiting and letting Steve control this.

“So sweet, so perfect,” Steve praises, cupping Eddie’s face in both hands. “You mind if I fuck your pretty mouth a bit first, princess?”

The sound Eddie makes is beautiful and needy, and Steve feels him open his throat where a couple of Steve’sfingers are resting just below his jaw. With a low sound, Steve slides his hands into Eddie’s hair and steadily pumps his hips up, his cock sliding deeper with every thrust until he hilts. With Eddie’s mouth and nose buried in the coarse hair at the base of Steve’s dick, eyes fluttering as he struggles to keep his throat open and tears streaming down his face, Steve drops back onto his chair and holds Eddie there.

“Jesus, princess, wanna come down your throat like this,” Steve sighs, smirking at the conflicted furrow of Eddie’s brow before he pulls the man’s mouth off his cock. His lips are red and shiny, his chin and throat slick with spit, and fuck, Steve wants to add the mess of his spend to this filthy picture. However, he’s rewarding Eddie and he gave the man a choice. He’d be a monster to go back on that, even if Eddie was happy to have either hole fucked and filled with cum. “But that will be next time, huh, princess?”

Eddie swallows thickly and looks like he’s about to agree, his brow furrowing as he puzzles out his next words. “Whatever you want, sir,” he manages, voice hoarse before he swallows again.

“Correct answer, sweet boy,” Steve croons, sliding back in his chair as he bends at the waist to drag Eddie into a demanding, sloppy kiss, groaning as he tastes the salt of his precum on Eddie’s tongue. Sitting back up, Steve orders, “Bend over the desk and hold your cheeks open.”

There’s a flurry of motion as Eddie scrambles up onto his feet, ushering over to the desk to do as he’s told, only to hesitate as he sees the papers and folders strewn across the top. Reaching around Eddie, Steve sweeps his arms across the desk and sends the documents and any pens or fidget gadgets to the floor. Eddie lets out a needy whimper before bending over the desk until his torso lay flat, his shaking hands reaching to spread his ass and show off the plug nestled in his hole. Steve can’t help but stare at the pretty picture Eddie makes, his pale, tattooed body cuffed and collared in black leather, quivering with need as he sprawls across the desk, presenting himself prettily, his own cock hanging heavily between his thighs, the tip shiny with precum.

Resting a tear-stained cheek on the desk, Eddie looks over his shoulder at Steve with a pretty pout, and Steve can’t drag this out anymore. When Steve stands, he sighs at how low the desk is and while he knows he can still fuck Eddie just fine, he doesn’t want to bust his back for this.

Lucky for him, his father insisted on standing desks for everyone, even if no one actually used them as such.

With a grunt, Steve grabs the edge of his desk and, hitting the kick-lever to unlock the lifting mechanism, he lifts the desk and Eddie until his cock was resting on Eddie’s tailbone. It wasn’t a huge difference in height, but it was enough and Steve had the delight of watching Eddie’s eyes widen and him biting his lip roughly with a needy whimper.

“What was that, princess?” Steve asks as he fishes the bottle of lube back out of his pocket and starts slicking his cock. “You have my permission to say exactly what was on your mind.”

“That’s so fucking hot when you do that, sir,” Eddie says with a shudder, keening when Steve pulls the plug out of his ass without warning. “When you lift the whole thing like that.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks with a knowing smirk as he lines up against Eddie’s twitching hole.

When Eddie opens his mouth to elaborate, Steve shoves his cock inside, knocking a strangled cry out of him instead as he bottoms out with one, swift thrust. Now that he’s buried to the hilt in tight, clenching heat, Steve can’t stop himself from taking what he needs. Before he’s even consciously aware of it, Steve is fucking Eddie with quick snaps of his hips, gripping the thick leather belt around his midsection for leverage.

Beneath him, Eddie is whining and writhing, gasping out sweet little pleas and encouragements, begging prettily for more, for harder, and Steve is past the point of being able to deny him. Steve drops to his elbows above Eddie, not even pausing the brutal slaps of his hips against his ass before dragging him back just enough to get a hand underneath him and around his cock. Eddie screams as Steve starts to stroke him, using the leftover lube on his hand to ease the way, and begs wordlessly for a kiss.

Steve strains upward, grinding his hips against Eddie as he kisses him sloppily, breathlessly before pulling back to resume his punishing pace.

“Want you to come when you have to, sweet boy,” Steve gasps out, knowing his own release was just a handful of thrusts away. He literally could not drag this out even if he wanted to, and he needs Eddie to come first. “Don’t need to ask, you’ve earned it, princess.”

The way Eddie almost immediately shakes apart beneath Steve—whimpering and sobbing out a litany of gratitude as his hot release spills over Steve’s fist—hits Steve like a punch in the gut. Eddie’s hole clenches with each pulse of his release, squeezing Steve’s cock rhythmically as he fucks the man through and past the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Soon, Eddie’s whimpers become something more pained, overwhelmed, but instead of begging for mercy, Eddie cries, “Please, Stevie, inside me! Cum inside me!”

If Steve wasn’t already so far gone, he would probably be a bit mean. The speaking out of turn, the switch back to his name, the demand—all of this, Eddie knew was against the loose set of rules they had set. If Steve was able to think properly, he would pull out and stroke himself off onto the floor, not even giving Eddie the pleasure of having his back painted with his cum for his slip-up.

Maybe it means that Steve is too soft, but he doesn’t care. He can come inside Eddie now, and punish him for his insubordination later. It was a win-win.

“Here you go, baby,” Steve grunts, the coil in his gut snapping as his release washes over him.

Eddie practically wails as Steve empties himself inside him, his cock jumping in the hand that was still working the length of it. Distantly, Steve registers that Eddie’s hole was squeezing around him as he came again and he lets out a low, shivering moan as he stutters to a halt.

They rested on top of the desk, Steve’s softening cock buried deep in Eddie’s twitching entrance as he laid on top of him, panting breathlessly against his pale shoulder before giving it a slow, biting kiss. Letting go of Eddie’s cock, Steve mindlessly lifts his cum-soaked hand toward Eddie’s face, and the man immediately begins lapping up his mess with needy, breathy little noises.

Sighing, Steve stands back up on shaking legs to grab the lube. His fingers were still in Eddie’s greedy mouth, so one-handed, he pours a bit of lube over the plug sitting on the desk next to them, rolling the toy in the puddle that formed around it to coat it more thoroughly. With a low sound, Steve finally shifts back enough that his softened cock can slip out of Eddie’s hole, only waiting long enough to see a hint of his cum dripping out before stuffing the plug back inside Eddie.

“Gotta keep you nice and full, princess,” Steve coos, rolling Eddie over so he can coax him into a hungry, desperate kiss that was mostly tongue as they pant against each other.

“Thank you, sir,” Eddie whimpers sweetly when Steve pulls away, his lashes wet with unshed tears.

“Thank you, sweetheart. You were such a good boy for me,” Steve says, grinning at the way Eddie preens before kissing him again. When he pulls back this time, it’s only a hair's breadth away as he whispers, “I love you.”

Eddie’s grin is so bright it feels like Steve should be blinded by it, feeling like he’s undeserving of such unabashed delight and happiness. Yet, somehow it’s still his and Steve wasn’t going to question it anymore like he used to.

“I love you, too, Stevie,” Eddie replies before burying his hands in Steve’s hair and pulling him into a deeper, more demanding kiss.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

So I've never made one of these rec lists before so bear with me but I felt like the authors in this fandom deserved some loving so here's a few that I've read recently(ish) that I wanted to pass on. I’m going to try to do this semi-regularly maybe. 

Pleaseee please don’t get upset if your fic isn’t on the list, my intention is not to upset anyone that being said if you have a fic (yours or someone else's) that you wanna send me to read then please do! I am always looking for new recs for myself) ❤️

REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

drink the river dry by Rianne (@rianneeyre)

It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem.

Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

as the lights go down by BekkaChaos (@bekkachaos)

Buck is trying to adjust the neighbourhood power supply to stop the newly hung Christmas lights from tripping out, but he is not as handy as he thinks. Eddie watches from the bottom of the ladder, knowing things can only end badly.

Under Kitchen Light by WheelsUpIn_Five (@two-cut-lines)

It’s 3am and the left-hand side of the bed is cold. Buck’s tired fingers grasp at the sheets, his brain lagging behind.

“Eddie?” It’s mumbled, barely audible, and receives no answer. He prises his eyes open and fumbles for his bedside lamp to push back the shadows of the pitch-black room. He’s alone, and Eddie’s place is cold.

from the ashes by casfallsinlove (@oliverstarked)

It makes the breath catch in Buck’s lungs. He doesn’t know how it’s possible when he’s just spoken to him but suddenly he misses Eddie with such a fierce intensity that it leaves him aching. He presses the phone to his chest so hard it hurts, but he wants the words inside of him, wants them bruised onto his skin and scratched into his ribs. You’re the love of my fucking life, he wants to say back. What he actually types is just as honest.

Sent 10:53pm I miss you.

In which Buck's father dies and Buck takes the long way home.

Sometime Around Midnight by Bob_loblaws_lawblog (@buddierights)

Every moment Buck feels as if he loves Eddie as much as possible, and every moment he’s proven wrong by falling even more in love. He’s proven wrong again as Eddie shifts so he’s facing Buck, lifting his leg onto the couch so that his shin is flush against Buck’s thigh, bringing them closer.

“Buck.” Eddie speaks his name quietly, like its something precious. And Buck falls even more as Eddie captures his gaze in those warm, brown eyes.

OR a series of miscommunication leads to confusion and mistakes, until everything finally becomes clear.

blue enough to bruise by renecdote (@renecdote)

Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

love finds a way by alkaysani (@alkaysanii)

It was a quiet day after a long shift, and Buck landed in Eddie’s home instead of his own loft afterwards, dead on his feet. After a much-needed shower and takeout, he found himself wrapped in a throw blanket that Abuela made for Eddie that he keeps on the couch, Eddie pressed against him, their legs intertwined after the man just dropped beside him, eyes already on the TV.

For twenty days and twenty nights, the emperor penguin will march to a place so extreme it supports no other life. In the harshest places on earth, love finds a way.

“Love finds a way,” Eddie mutters, so softly that Buck’s not even sure if he realizes that he’s doing it, but he’s turning to look at him anyway. What he finds is beautiful: Eddie’s brown eyes illuminated by the light coming from the television, reflecting the white and blue of the snow on the screen.

OR the one where Buck finds love again while watching March of the Penguins with Eddie

out of ashes by ashavahishta (@ashavahishta)

“They found Buck.”

Hen’s hand goes to her chest. Chim stumbles like he’s been hit, hand curling around the back of a chair for balance.

And Eddie -

Eddie’s knees give out. He’s lucky there’s a chair right under him because he just buckles, head in hands, trying to remember how to breathe.

“Is he - did they - what…what did they find?”

“He’s alive.”

“What?” Eddie’s head snaps up.

If you do read any of these, please show the authors some love. Leave kudos, comments, stalk their tumblrs etc. maybe make a rec list of your own? Share the love around peeps and have a wonderful rest of your week xxxx

[some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too]

The outsiders HC

TW: murder, break ins (literally one hc in dally’s section includes these), abuse (one hc in steve’s section)

i like angst ok 😭

ponyboy

he pretends to absolutely hate when somebody asks him to read a book out loud to him but in reality, ask this man to read out loud to you and it’ll make his day.

i don’t remember where i saw this but i remember one time i saw someone say he had really bad luck and if anything bad/unlucky happened to one of the other guys they’d all call it “pony-luck”

ever since he and soda started sharing a bed, 1. he can’t sleep without someone beside him (that’s actually canon though i think?) 2. he can happily sleep without a blanket (more on that in sodas HCs

Darry

i find it sweet to think that he sleeps with a stuffed bear that one of his parents gave him as a joke present for his 18’th birthday, he never let on, but it’s one of his prized possessions

he absolutely sucked at cooking when his parents died, he had like 2 things that his mom taught him when he was younger and that was like how to bake bread and how to cook pasta right. i think it’d be funny if soda felt bad and pretend he loved pasta sandwiches for a solid month just to help darry feel better

darry isn’t very interested in dating, sure he would love to settle down and have kids some day, but he doesn’t think there’s a rush, he’ll know when the right girl comes along. all the guys tease him saying it’s cause he can’t get a girlfriend but really he’s just not bothered, he doesn’t think he needs one.

even though he isn’t interested in dating he secretly loves a good romance novel, he has a stack of them in his wardrobe, ponyboy found them one day and was traumatised by the…”spicier” moments. they still joke about it

when he and pony fight and pony goes into his room darry just kinda stands outside for like 5 minutes wondering if he should go in and apologise

Sodapop

he’s the type of person to steal all the blankets when he’s sleeping. he always ends up like a little burrito. pony once tried to bring and extra blanket to bed so he could- yk actually have some blankets but soda just stole that too.

he started having nightmares after his parents died, all three of the curtis boys did. he would often wake up in a cold sweat or crying, but he never said anything since he didn’t want to worry anyone. when he had to move in with pony he pretended to be annoyed but secretly he was happy, sleeping next to someone helped soothe his nightmares too

he loves to go for long, late night walks alone. it helps clear his mind. the first few times he got caught sneaking out darry got a bit mad with him but after they sat down and soda explained why he was leaving darry let him go. now when darry sees him leaving he just says something like “stay safe, take as long as you need. when you get back come in and say goodnight.”

sodapop curtis can play piano. that’s all. i’ve just decided he should be able to play piano.

soda does actually drink. he doesn’t tell pony, to kinda “save his innocence”. he only drinks when he and steve go out and pony isn’t with them. he used to drink when pony was there but just put his beer in a pepsi can but one time pony asked for a mouthful and soda just had to chug the entire thing.

Dally

he secretly loves to watch the sunrise. he normally makes himself a cup of coffee, goes up to the roof of bucks place and watches the sunrise while drinking his coffee. he hates the sunset though, he hates that it ends in the dark. it sounds stupid, but when the sunrise ends, it ends in light, and that kinda gives him some sort of hope? i dunno, ask him

dally is an orphan, but he just says that his parents don’t care about him. his mother died during childbirth. his father died when he was nine years old. one night there was a break in, he hid dally in a closet. while he was hiding, he heard a gunshot. he heard a car drive away and he came out. his father was lying on the floor, motionless. rather than go into foster care, dally ran away, lived on the streets. eventually he made his way to tulsa.

he plays music in bucks about twice a week to “earn his stay”. he plays the guitar.

he loves to draw, snakes mainly. but he doesn’t like to draw on paper, he likes to draw on his arms and the arm of whoever is willing. for a while he thought of becoming a tattoo artist, he’d love to. though he realised that it’d probably never happen.

Two-Bit

he’s like- scarily graceful. you’d think he’s clumsy given he’s always drinking and everything, but he acts like a freaking cat. if he drops something he just scoops it up and keeps walking without stopping. if he’s walking around the Curtis house and the coffee table is in the way he just walks over it.

he’s surprisingly good at styling hair because of his little sister (it’s canon that he has a sister right?) he always does her hair before school. whenever he’s stressed he grabs pony or johnny since they have the longest hair and just starts putting tiny braids in their hair.

he just mentally combusts at the first sign of a girl flirting with him, he’s a real flirt until a girl does something back, he doesn’t know how to react.

he normally picks ponyboy up from school, he’s just worried that something will happen to him otherwise. he sees pony as a little brother almost.

steve

this boy is obsessed with bugs and frogs. don’t ask why i have no explanation i just think he does

he’s very self conscious of his teeth, he saves everything he can from working in the DX to put towards braces

he learned to fight to defend his mam from his dad, even when he was little his dad would hit his mother so at like 7 he asked Mr. Curtis to teach him boxing because he wanted to be like “Sonny Liston” (famous boxer at the time) but in reality he wanted to fight back for his mam. eventually she left, she wasn’t able to take steve with her.

Johnny

allergic to peanuts.

he befriends all the stray cats and dogs in tulsa. or at least the ones that appear in the lot.

he and pony have weekly sleepovers, even when they were really little. they only ever went to Johnny’s place once, but after seeing what johnnys parents were like pony decided that from then on they went to the curtis’s place

he’s suprisingly good at baking, especially cookies. he’d love to own a bakery when he’s older. (poor johnny didn’t get his bakery 💀)

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Tim Shepard:

He likes to act tough around his siblings, trying to leave a good impression on them. Tim doesn’t want them to end up getting jumped, so he’ll teach them and act as an example, on how to be tough.

Tim probably takes pretty good care of his curly hair. When he’s in a good mood he lets people (siblings or close) try to style it. But, whenever someone suggests a hairstyle a bit too close to his father’s, he’ll shut the idea down immediately.

I’m gonna say this only once, Tim probably had a small box, that was just filled with trinkets when they were younger. He kept those things as a reminder of when they were still little. It’s hidden inside Angela’s room but it’s more of hers than his now. ^_^

Tim hates touching dirty things, it just ticks him off to feel it, which Dally uses to his extent. He’ll sneak towards Tim’s hand, then grab it, before making it ruffle his hair. (Dally book canonically doesn’t wash his hair, which I find disgusting, even though he doesn’t put grease.)

Tim and Dallas have a weird ass relationship, you’ll see them beating each other over slashing a tire, then popping beers at midnight. Most likely sitting on Buck’s front steps, watching as the smoke from Dally’s cigarettes fills the cold air.

He can't tolerate alcohol that well, getting real tired after a while, usually 35 minutes. Tim isn't a huge fan of drinking because of that, but definitely won’t decline a drink if he’s given the chance.

Tim probably has a talent for dark humor, and he occasionally surprises his gang members with witty remarks that break the tension. It’ll be at random moments, leaving the gang confused, but creating a sound of snickering.

Despite his neutral relationship with Ponyboy's gang, Tim has a favorite member among them, someone he respects but would never openly admit, in other words Darry. :3

Here are some random headcanons I came up with for Tim Shepard! If you couldn’t tell he is one of my favorites and is pretty underrated in my opinion, of course. — 🎀 ヽ(´▽｀)/

Sugar-bow, sugar-bow, sugar-bow, you’re way too good to me <3 I love each and every one of these, I’m so glad you’re paying Tim some attention, he deserves all of it and more. This time, I think you should be the one getting a tip *slides you a few coins over the bartop* thanks for these Bow <3

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 12 - Will be posted soon.

I’m excited to keep working on Chapter 12 because in Chapter 11, after their argument on Friday, September 1st, Buck and Eddie made their love confessions and they shared their first kiss. By the end of the chapter, they had spent all three days of the Labor Day weekend talking. On Monday, September 4th, before Buck returned to the loft, they discussed if they would tell anyone they're together and they decided to only tell Chris the next time they're both available since Eddie's Paramedic Certification Course starts Tuesday, September 5th and Buck told Eddie he wanted to schedule a Cancer Screening. There's still a lot more to come especially since they're getting ready for their first "official" date as a couple. Also, Buck told Eddie he wants to find his biological father who lives in London, England and he asked Eddie if him and Chris will go with him👀✈️.

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Currently 11 chapters completed: 296.3K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 12 of one of Buck's and Eddie's conversations.

___________

Buck’s watching Eddie prepare dinner and even though he’s happy Eddie finally knows how to cook, he has to admit, he’s a little jealous since he wanted to teach him how to do it.

He stops slicing the tomatoes for the salad and asks, “Why didn’t you ask me to teach you how to cook?”

Eddie turns around and raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“I mean, um... you know Bobby taught me and I know how to cook so… I’m trying to figure out why you didn’t learn how until after you left the 118.”

Eddie moves his head from side to side then admits, “It just kind of happened and it wasn't intentional.  Linda and I would talk about food and coffee every day and it progressed to us trading recipes.”

“But we were still talking to each other so... why didn’t you ask me?”

Eddie can hear the jealousy in Buck’s voice.  He knows he’ll never admit he is but he's seen how Buck reacted in the past when he was dating someone and even though other people didn't catch it, he did since he knows Buck inside and out.

He chuckles.  “Buck?”  He sits the spoon he's using to stir the rice on top of the stove, steps in front of him, wraps his arms around his waist and says, “From now on… you’re the only person I want to teach me how to do anything... including cook.”  He smiles then he kisses Buck on the cheek. “Are you happy now?”

Buck smiles brightly because he is happy since Eddie's going to let him teach him how to cook some of the recipes he knows. He leans in and kisses him nice and slow and after he breaks the kiss, he smiles again. “Yes... because I’m going to teach you my famous lasagna recipe.”

“That’s right, you said you perfected Bobby’s recipe and added four more cheeses so I can’t wait for you to teach me how to prepare it.”

“You and Chris are going to love it.”

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-11 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[suaine]

6x15 coda | Eddie goes to El Paso and talks to his mom | 1.5k

read on AO3

Even though he thinks of LA as home these days, El Paso is where he grew up, where he met Shannon, where Chris was born. El Paso has his heart in ways that LA could never understand and never replicate. Eddie sits on his parents’ porch late at night and listens to the noise of late spring in Texas. They are far enough outside the city for nature to replace the sounds of humans and it’s a symphony he knows well, white noise that is working away at the noise in his head.

Eddie knows it won’t drown it out altogether, but maybe if he just sits here for a while, he’ll be able to sleep.

It’s entirely dark when he hears the screen door open and close, a distinct sound that reminds him of a childhood running after his sisters as they start a new game and draw him in. Eddie smiles to himself but it feels heavy somehow, like he’s saying goodbye to something.

His mother sits next to him without a word but she hands him a steaming mug of coffee, the way he used to drink it, a little more bitter and less frivolous than he has come to enjoy it. There’s a softness to him now he has never allowed himself to feel when he was younger.

“Thanks,” Eddie says, eyes still on the horizon. The desert stares back at him with a vastness that would be terrifying if he was here alone. But he’s not alone and that’s something he’s slowly letting himself believe.

His mother hums and takes a sip from her own mug. “You looked like you needed it.”

Eddie has never doubted his mother’s love for him, not the way Buck always struggled with his own parents, but she has a way about her that makes it hard to be truly open. They have that in common, walls so high that no one can climb over them, only knock them down.

“Pepa talked to you,” he says, suddenly certain that this is why she’s been pushing for them to come visit.

His mother sighs. “She means well. Ramon and Pepa and your abuela, they all love you so much. They only want the best for you, all in their own way.” She rests her hand on his knee. “But they don’t know you like I do.”

Eddie shakes his head, but not because she is wrong. There is a connection between them, something so primal it’s hard to put into words. They’re too similar to get along, sometimes, too broken in the same ways to really communicate. “I’ve been thinking about Shannon a lot,” he says and his mother tenses.

“Ah.” It’s a sound that stands alone, that encompasses so much hurt and misunderstanding and guilt.

“I know you never liked her,” he says, weary and unwilling to fight over choices he made long ago.

But his mother huffs. “I liked her fine,” she says, “I just didn’t like her for you.”

A brittle, nasty laugh breaks out of Eddie’s chest. “Yeah, that’s just the same thing dressed up for church.”

“Eddie,” she says. She sounds weary, too. “You are my son.” Her voice suddenly sounds foreign, harder, like she’s speaking from a place far north, half a world away. “You are my son and that’s something I’ve tried to shield you from more than you know.”

Eddie thinks about all of the times in his childhood when his mother insisted to cook his abuela’s recipes, to celebrate their holidays the Mexican way, to hide herself in his father’s culture. How he calls her abuela when he speaks to Christopher and never thought to learn Swedish, a language that was never spoken in this house.

“When I met your father, he was warm and full of life, and I knew that I would follow him anywhere. But I was glad it was here.” She looks out at the desert. “It is easy to say I love you in English.”

Growing up, he and his sisters sometimes laughed about his mother’s accent when she spoke Spanish, but it’s only now that he’s letting himself think about the fact she learned two languages for them and never spoke her own.

“Shannon was a good girl, but you and her were two kids clinging to each other because the world was a scary place and you recognized a kindred spirit. I know, because I saw a lot of myself in her. And there is too much of me in you.”

Eddie is silent. There is nothing he can say.

“She died before either of you could find out that you were walking the same path in different directions.”

Eddie swallows hard, a sudden lump constricting his throat. “Before, uh, before she died. Shannon, she wanted a divorce.”

He’s never told his mother this because he was afraid of the vindication she would feel. Knowing that she was always right and showing it, making him feel young and foolish. But she doesn’t do that now, only sighs and leans closer, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh, Eddie, my poor boy.”

And he doesn’t know why this is what sets him off, that lets the tears finally run freely. But he is burning with it, tears running hot and wet down his face, his every breath a sob that shakes him to the core. “She- she said she needed to learn to be a mother first. That she couldn’t be both.”

His mother is running soft hands down his back and through his hair, humming something that could be a lullaby, but one he’s never heard before. Eddie lets himself be held and allows his tears to fall freely.

It takes hours, years, minutes, a moment. But the weight on his chest is lighter and the noise in his head is quieter. It feels like the desert just after a thunderstorm.

His mother lets him go as he pushes away slowly, but her eyes are on his, searching for something. She nods when she finds what she’s looking for and puts her hands on his face, rubbing the tear tracks with her thumbs. There is a light in her that Eddie has never let himself see, always eclipsed by the Texas sun.

“When you find the one you want to be with, you will know, because they will burn brighter than the sun. They will make you feel warm and safe and loved like no one else ever has.”

She smiles and Eddie feels the way she carefully avoids gender like a punch to the chest. How could she know when he hasn’t let himself even think about that part of himself? Has it always been there? And worse than that, when her words fall on him, each one stings with the knowledge that he has found his person long ago, has found exactly this feeling and is maybe too scared to ever do something about it.

“What if- what if they don’t want me back?” It’s the fear that keeps him locked up tight, running everywhere but where he wants to be.

His mother smiles. “Eddito,” she says, her accent so familiar it wraps around him like a blanket, “anyone would be lucky to have you. When he sees you, he will love you.”

He already does, Eddie knows that, just maybe not the way Eddie wants. And oh.

Oh, his mother knows this, too. Eddie doesn’t talk about Buck to his parents, tries to keep what they have, this weird, fragile little family that is always, always on a deadline, to himself as much as possible. But of course, his mother talks to her grandson and Chris has no such problems gushing about the man that’s taking up so much space in their lives.

What Eddie doesn’t say is as loud as the things he does and his mother has been hearing him his whole life. But she is like him, and he is like her, unable to put words to the emotions that are so heavy and vast in his chest. It’s not that they don’t feel, the two of them, it’s that they feel in ways that are hard to translate.

“Mom, I-” He stops, frustrated with himself and his silence.

She puts a finger to her lips and taps twice, shaking her head. “You don’t have to explain. You don’t have to say anything before you’re ready. But I think you will be ready soon and we will be here when you are.”

A new silence falls between them. It feels lighter, more complicit, like they are sharing a secret in the dark. Eddie drinks the last of his coffee, long since cooled to the ambient temperature. It tastes bitter.

“Mom, I have to tell you something. I actually like my coffee with oat milk and sugar these days,” he says, because he can’t say everything else.

She pats his back and nods. “Then we’ll make another pot.”

Eddie smiles at her. “That sounds like a great idea.”

[rainbow-nerdss]

Forged

Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 17 (Joker prompt) - Western Buddie (pre-relationship), 1.3k Read on AO3

The sun’s high in the sky when Buck steps out for a break. There’s no relief from the heat, though, save from dunking his head in a bucket of water.  He’s just eyeing up the horse’s trough, debating whether or not it’ll be worth it, when he hears a shout coming from the edge of town.

A call for help.

“Bobby!” Buck ducks his head back inside the workshop, and Bobby looks up from the fire he’d been stoking. 

“There’s someone calling for help, I’m gonna go check on ‘em!”

Bobby waves him off, and Buck grabs his hat, setting off in the direction of the shout. He finds a man walking towards him, clothes dirty, opening his mouth to call for help again.

“Hey, whoa!” Buck holds out his hands. “What’s going on here?”

The man sags in relief when he sees Buck, but he quickly pulls himself back upright, shoulders back, not someone to be messed with. 

“What’s all the racket for?” Buck asks, leaning against a fence post.

“My horse,” the man says, a little short of breath. “Threw a shoe about two miles back, by the river, and I can’t—” The man pulls his hat off, runs a hand through his hair before putting the hat back on. He’s got a bit of a drawl, Buck notes — Texas, probably.

“You ran all this way, in this heat, shouting for anyone to hear, for a horse with a thrown shoe?” Buck raises an eyebrow.

The stranger sighs. “I’ve got a kid. A son. He’s—”

“Dad?” Buck hears the kid before he sees him. He’d been hiding behind a wall, but when he steps out, he’s got crutches under his arms. Buck suddenly understands why this guy is so worn out after walking just a mile.

“Christopher!” The stranger warns, and Buck sees the kid duck back behind. 

“Did you carry him all this way?” Buck asks. 

The man closes his eyes, grits his teeth, and nods. 

“Alright,” Buck says. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. Can you come out here, kid?”

The kid waits until his father gives the go-ahead, then hops out towards them. Buck gets down on one knee, to the kid’s eye level. 

“Christopher, right?” he asks. The kid nods. “Well, my name’s Evan, but most people call me Buck. See that building up there?” He points to the forge, then glances up at the stranger with a reassuring smile. 

“I’m a blacksmith’s apprentice,” he says. “So I know a thing or two about shoeing horses. Why don’t you and your dad go up to the workshop there, let my friend Bobby know what’s going on, and I’ll go look after your horse.”

“Bobby’s the blacksmith?” the kid checks.

“He sure is! I’m sure if you ask him nicely, he’ll let you try your hand at the bellows.” 

Buck winks, then tips his hat to the kid’s dad and starts walking towards where the horse was.

“Buck?” he hears the man call after him. Buck turns to him. “Thank you.” 

There’s an emotion in his face Buck’s not quite clear on, but the gratitude is there. 

When Buck gets back, just over an hour later with the horse limping behind him and the packs she’d been hauling on his back, he finds the two strangers sitting in the forge, Christopher laughing over something Bobby’s telling him, his dad standing off to the side, staring down at a glass in his hand like it might hold the answers to some very big questions. 

“Horse is tied up out front,” Buck says, calling attention to himself. 

“I’ll go take a look.” Bobby stands and makes for the door, warning Christopher to stay away from the flames. The kid seems happy where he is, though, playing with one of those wrought iron figurines Bobby makes for the local kids.

The stranger downs the whiskey in his glass and makes his way over to Buck. There’s a glimmer of sweat on his brow, over the red line where his hat had rested.

“I never introduced myself before,” he says. “My name’s Eddie.” 

Buck takes the hand offered to him and shakes it. 

He feels a tug, something inside of him that doesn’t want to let him let go of Eddie’s hand.

Eddie lets go first, stepping back to go check on Christopher.

Buck watches them together with a pang. He’s always wanted that, to be a father, that is. Marriage has never really been on the horizon for him, though. 

Before he can sink too far into melancholy, Bobby comes back, hands him the measurements for a whole new set of shoes for Eddie’s horse and tells him to get to work. 

He grabs his apron, rolls his sleeves up, and starts working. He can feel Eddie’s eyes on him, even as he sends Chris outside to keep him away from the sparks. Buck does call him back just long enough to let him pump the bellows, just once. 

He wraps an arm around the kid, to keep him steady, and points to how the flames bloom under the puff of air. 

“Wow!” Christopher gasps, practically bouncing in excitement. “Did you see that, dad?”

“Sure did, Chris.” Buck lets Chris go, and gets back to heating the iron to be shaped.

He loves working the metal, heating and hammering it into shape, sparks flying, creating something useful or beautiful or both from a hunk of metal.

Soon enough, he has four shoes cast, and he quenches them in a barrel, steam filling the air. He sets them aside to cool the rest of the way. When he turns to Eddie, he sees the other man look away. His face is red, probably from the heat of the forge — god knows Buck himself is about one gust of warm air away from pulling his shirt off and dousing himself in water like the hot iron.

“Ready to go!” he announces. “We’ll have you on your way soon enough.” Buck doesn’t know why he feels a pang as he says those words, why the thought of Eddie and Christopher leaving again is so hard to swallow.

“Yeah, well… We’ll see,” Eddie shrugs. 

“Where were you two headed, anyway?”

Buck leans back against a work table, wiping his brow with a cloth. Eddie’s eyes follow the cloth to where it lands on the floor when Buck tosses it aside. 

“I don’t know, honestly. Just… away.”

Buck knows a lost soul when he sees one — he’d been one for too long not to. He knows it’s probably overstepping, that it’s not really his place to intrude, but he feels like he has to.

“You know, this town has a pretty good schoolhouse. Carla, the teacher, she’s really got a way with kids. And my sister runs an inn just up the way, I can put in a word for you, if you need a place to stay while you find your feet.”

Eddie frowns, doesn’t say anything for long enough for the horseshoes to feel cool to the touch.

“Why?” he asks, finally. Just one word.

Buck shrugs, gathering the horseshoes. “I don’t know,” he says, honestly. “But you seem like a decent fella, and I think the kid would like it here.”

Eddie nods, looking a little to the left of Buck’s face. He looks like he had when Buck found him earlier, a little lost, a little hopeless, desperately trying to hold it together.

“Eddie, look at me,” Buck says, resting a hand right at the junction of his neck and shoulder, trying to emulate Bobby’s reassuring demeanor, the one he’d used to get Buck to settle when he was the one rolling into town desperate for somewhere to call home. “It’s okay. We’ve got you, here. You’ll be okay.”

And when Eddie meets Buck’s eyes — a small, grateful smile on his face — it feels like maybe he didn’t quite match Bobby’s tone, but whatever Eddie saw in his face, it was enough.

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 68)

Summary: Bucky confides in you about his fears and Steve calls in the team for a mission none of the expected

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Angst! Language! FLUFF!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 68: Shred of Hope

In the following weeks after the first attempt to remove the brainwashing from Bucky’s brain, the Wakandan scientists worked tirelessly to finally solve the issue. With every attempt, you and Steve were present to see the outcome. You occasionally going alone if Steve was away on a mission.

You were sat alone in the apartment while Steve was away taking out some Italian mob. You were scrolling through different websites trying to find all the baby furniture you wanted. You had just gotten up to grab yourself a drink when you heard a knock on the door. Putting your glass down on the side you make your way over. Surprised to find Bucky standing on the other side with a nervous look on his face.

“Hey Bucky, is everything okay?” You ask him brows furrowing in concern.

“Is Steve in?” Bucky asks glancing over your shoulder and into the apartment.

“No he’s away on a mission but he’ll be back-“ you start shaking your head before he interrupts.

“Good because I want to talk to you,” Bucky tells you making your eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh yeah sure, come on in” you nod stepping aside to let him in.

“Do you want a drink? Water? Juice? Something stronger?” You offer walking into the kitchen to refill your drink.

“Um just water is fine,” Bucky says with a small smile as he follows you.

“Sure coming right up, go get comfy on the couch I’ll bring it over,” you tell him nodding over to the couch.

“Uh yeah sure” Bucky nods before quickly turning and walking away.

You frown slightly as you watch him go. His behaviour was worrying you, and the fact that he didn’t want to talk to Steve was just as concerning. You bite your lip considering whether to contact Steve, ultimately deciding to wait and see what Bucky had to say first. It might be nothing.

You walk over to the couch putting the drinks down on the coffee table before sitting down with a sigh, hand resting on your bump.

“How is the mini Steve?” Bucky asks nodding to your bump.

“Well, he likes using my bladder as a punching bag so he’s definitely like his father” you chuckle seeing a small smile pulling at Bucky’s lips before fading completely.

“What’s up Bucky? Is it about the next test?” You ask him earning a heavy sigh in response.

“Yeah… I’m not sure we should carry on” Bucky admits looking down at the floor.

“But we’re so close Buck, they think this time it’ll work,” you tell him shifting to face him.

“But what if it doesn’t? What if it never works? I- I don’t think I can carry on like this” Bucky confesses welling up as he looks over at you.

“Oh Buck” you sigh shifting closer to him, wrapping your arm around him.

At your touch, he completely breaks down dropping his head into his hand. His body shook as he sobbed. You bit back your own tears, hating seeing him this broken. You remained silent, rubbing his back soothingly, waiting until he was ready. Eventually, his sobs receded into sniffles, and you passed him a box of tissues.

"I’m sorry” he sniffles as he wipes away his tears.

“Don’t apologise” you tell him gently “why didn’t you want to tell Steve this?” You ask after a moment.

“Because he wouldn’t understand it like you would, you know what it’s like to be held captive, have control taken away from you, wanting it to end even if it meant permanently” Bucky admits looking back over at you.

You sigh sadly as you remember your time in the raft. Feeling so broken that you wanted to die, just so that it would end.

“Honestly…I don’t understand what you’re going through, not really, because even at my lowest moments I still had that shred of hope that it would get better. That Steve would rescue me and I’d be safe” you tell him making him look down at the floor.

“And it will get better Bucky I promise, I know it doesn’t seem like it will right now but it will, there’s a shred of hope. They will find a way to cure you, we can fight to get you pardoned, you have a whole life ahead of you, you deserve to live it” you continue taking his hand and squeezing it.

“Really?” He whispers uncertainty clear in his voice.

“Yes, 100% yes. You’ll be able to do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy” you smile reassuringly.

“Thank you Y/N” Bucky sighs with a thankful smile.

“It’s nothing, you can always talk to me about stuff, and if you think you need a break from the treatment then do that,” you tell him squeezing his hand.

Bucky nods his head slightly “I’ll see how this next one goes and see how I feel” Bucky smiles.

“Good, it’ll all be okay I promise” you reassure him.

That weekend you held on tightly to Steve’s hand as you once again made the trip out onto the grasslands. You felt incredibly nervous this time, feeling anxious for Bucky and how he was feeling.

“Hey, you okay doll?” Steve asks looking down at you.

“Yeah just nervous for him that’s all, I really want it to work this time” you sigh looking back up at him.

“It will, I’m feeling good about this one” Steve smiles reassuringly.

You give him a small smile before looking back ahead. You hadn’t told Steve about your conversation with Bucky a couple of days ago. You didn’t feel like it was your place to, Bucky would tell him if he wanted to. As you approach you saw Bucky sitting by the fire, giving you a nervous smile when he saw you.

“How you feeling pal?” Steve asks patting Bucky on the shoulder.

“Okay I think, everyone else seems confident so hopefully that rubs off" Bucky sighs looking up at you.

“Just remember if it doesn’t work this time it doesn’t mean it won’t in the future” you remind him gently.

“Thank you Y/N,” Bucky says giving you a small but sincere smile.

“We’ll be just over that ridge rooting for you,” Steve tells him nodding to the ridge.

“Ready to give you a massive hug no matter the outcome” you smile.

Okoye then leads you over the ridge to the spot where you could watch. Your view was blocked slightly by the trees that surrounded the fire. But you could still see Bucky which was all that mattered.

You watch with bated breath as Ayo started saying the trigger words. You could see Bucky tensing and rocking slightly and you worry that it wasn’t working.

Then it all goes quiet.

Ayo wasn’t saying anything and Bucky was frozen. You grab Steve’s hand as you wait to see if it worked or not. You well up when you see Ayo beckon you over.

As you approach she nods proudly before stepping away to leave the three of you alone. Bucky looks up at you and Steve tears of relief streaming down his face. He goes to say something but his voice broke and you surged forward hugging him tightly. He rests his hand on your back burying his head in your shoulder.

“It worked… it worked” he wept.

“I’m so, so happy for you” you smile pulling away enough to kiss his forehead.

You stand back up turning to Steve who was also crying as he watched the scene in front of him. He didn’t need to say anything Bucky stood up and instantly hugged him tightly. Steve patted him on the back.

"You did it pal, I’m so proud of you” Steve smiled squeezing his shoulder.

“Thank you, I wouldn’t have done it without you two” Bucky smiles looking between you and Steve.

You smile wiping away your tears as he smiles back at you.

“Look at us” Bucky chuckles wiping away his tears.

“Hormones,” you say with a watery chuckle.

“C’mere you two” Steve smiles holding his arm out to you.

You smile moving into his embrace hugging the both of them tightly. Steve smiles kissing the top of your head unbelievably happy to have the two most important people in his life back with him. 3 if you included his unborn son who was named after the strongest man he knew.

Steve groaned as he pushed himself up from the pilot seat. As he walked away from the front of the jet he spotted Nat smirking as she shouldered her pack. She goes to say something he holds up his hand to stop her.

“Yeah yeah, old man joke” he grumbles running his hand through his hair.

“Just wait until the little one comes along” she smirks as they walk off the jet.

“Hopefully he’ll just be keeping me up not beating me up” Steve points out making Nat chuckle.

“Not until the terrible two’s anyway, go rest up cap thank you for your help on this one” Nat smiles patting him on the shoulder.

“It’s nothing, see you later Nat” Steve smiles heading off the apartment.

As he walked through the palace towards the apartment all he could think about was getting back to you. He was completely exhausted from the mission and just wanted to get home and relax. Preferably curled up next to you.

Finally, he got to the apartment door breathing out a deep sigh before pushing it open. However, he flinched when heard and felt the door hit something behind it. Furrowing his brows in confusion he steps inside spotting the large collection of flatpack furniture.

“Doll?” Steve calls out as he manoeuvres himself around everything.

“Oh hey, you’re home!” You smile stepping out of the bedroom.

“Yeah, what? What is all this stuff?” He asks walking over to greet you with a kiss.

“You know you told me to go ahead and order all the stuff for the nursery,” you tell him glancing around the room.

“This is all that?” Steve asks surprised.

“Yeah, it turns out they need a lot of stuff” you confirm nodding your head.

“Right okay, why is it all out here and not in the room?” Steve asks pointing behind him to the spare room.

“Well, we still haven’t painted it yet so I thought it made sense to keep all the furniture out until we did that but that was before I realised how much there would be” you explain gesturing at it all.

“That does make sense, but how have you been getting around?” Steve asks turning to you.

“Well I can get to the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom so I just stayed there” you explain making Steve chuckle.

“Right okay, well let me just have a shower and I’ll try and move some of these boxes around so we can get to the couch” Steve chuckles kissing the top of your head.

“No leave it until the morning, you’ve just gotten back and you’re exhausted, just rest up,” you say turning to face him and running your hands up and down his arms.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks his hand moving to rest on your hip.

“Of course Steve, go have a shower and I’ll sort you out some food” you smile reaching up to kiss him.

“Thank you doll, you’re amazing” he smiles kissing the top of your head.

“Anything got you Stevie” you smile before stepping aside towards the kitchen.

The next morning Steve woke up before you, carefully climbing out of bed making sure not to wake you. He opens the bedroom door he groans under his breath seeing all the boxes that he’d forgotten about. He manoeuvres himself through the boxes into the kitchen.

He sighs making a pot of coffee, turning around to look out at all the boxes. Even if he did move them around it would still be cramped, the only way to clear some space was to sort the room out. Steve had a lot of work to do, and there was no way he was letting you help. The only thing you’ll be doing is directing.

As he poured himself some coffee an idea popped into his head. Smiling to himself as he grabbed his phone sending a simple text to Sam, Nat and Wanda. It was a short while later there was a knock on the apartment door. Heading over as quickly as he could he opened the door to the three of them.

“What’s wrong? What’s the mission?” Nat asks him.

“This,” Steve says stepping aside to show them all the boxes.

“Whoa did you buy the whole shop?” Sam exclaims looking around at it all.

“I’m not sure, most likely” Steve sighs “but I want to get this all sorted today so I’ll need your help” he explains.

“On it, where do we start?” Wanda asks.

"Painting” Steve explains.

When you woke up the space beside was cold telling you Steve had been up for a while now. As you make your way out of the bedroom you spotted all the boxes had moved, creating more space in the apartment. You then hear movement in the spare room.

Walking in your jaw drops when you see Steve, Sam, Nat and Wanda all painting. They’d all taken a wall each, Wanda using her powers to paint in two places at once.

“Hey you’re awake” Steve smiles putting down his roller before walking over.

“And you have paint on your face” you chuckle ducking out of the way as he tries to kiss you.

“I do?” Steve asks surprised.

“Yep, here and here” you smile pointing out the blue paint on his nose and forehead.

Steve frowns rubbing his forehead and nose trying and failing to get rid of the paint on his face.

“Is it gone?” He asks looking back down at you.

“Sure” you laugh knowing it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

There was then a knock on the door “that must be Bucky” Steve says stepping out of the nursery with you.

“Hey pal thanks for coming” Steve smiles opening the door and letting him in.

“It's okay, I’m not sure how much help I’ll be though” Bucky shrugs holding up his one hand.

“You can keep my company while these guys work, give me a heads up on what Steve was like as a kid in case this one follows in his footsteps” you smirk nodding down to your bump.

“Oh don’t you worry I have plenty of stories” Bucky smirks winking at you.

“I look forward to them, you get back to work I have stories to listen to,” you tell Steve, linking your arm with Bucky and leading him inside.

“Yes ma’am” Steve chuckles giving you a small salute before heading back into the nursery.

For the rest of the day the team worked hard to get the nursery ready. Once the room was painted they set about putting the furniture together, working in teams to get it done quicker. You kept yourself busy organising all the clothes into piles ready to be put away listening to all the stories Bucky told you.

“We need a medic” Sam chuckles as he and Steve walk out of the nursery, Steve clutching his finger.

“What did you do?” You chuckle walking over and having a look at Steve’s finger.

In all the injuries you’d seen Steve sustain this definitely wasn’t the worst but it was a deep gash which was bleeding a fair amount.

“Screw slipped and caught his finger” Sam explains.

“It's fine, it’s nothing,” Steve says shaking his head.

“Still needs cleaning up though before you get blood everywhere, Barnes I’m tapping you in while Rogers gets some medical attention,” you say looking over your shoulder at Bucky, Steve rolling his eyes.

“Yes ma’am” Bucky chuckles standing up to go help Sam.

“C’mon soldier let's get you patched up” you smile up at Steve leading him into the bathroom.

Steve leans against the side as you grab the first aid kit and start cleaning up the cut.

“You know I can do this myself” Steve points out as he looks down at you.

“I know, but we both know you secretly like being patched up by me” you smirk looking up at him as you bandage up his finger.

“You are my favourite nurse” Steve smirks.

“There all better now head back out to work soldier” you smile putting away the first aid kit.

“Are you not gonna kiss it better?” Steve asks with a lopsided grin.

You smile walking back over and seeing him close his eyes waiting for you to kiss him. You smirk kissing his finger instead making Steve huff in annoyance.

You start making your way out of the bathroom but Steve grabs your hand pulling you back to him. He cups your cheek guiding your lips up to his and you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

“That’s better” Steve smirks making you chuckle leaning up to kiss him again.

In the evening everything was built and put in its proper place. You had cooked everyone dinner to thank them for their help. Especially since they should has spent their time post-mission relaxing.

Once they’d all gone you stepped into the nursery admiring all the work they’d done. You couldn’t help but smile as you took it all in, they’d done such an amazing job. You then felt Steve wrapping his arms around you, kissing your shoulder.

“You guys did such a good job, it's perfect” you smile resting your head back against his chest.

“You directed everything, we just did the heavy lifting” Steve smiles kissing your temple.

“I can’t wait for little JJ to be in here, playing with the toys” you smile running your hand over your bump.

“Screaming bloody murder at 3 am for a diaper change” Steve adds making you laugh.

“I’m excited too, it's just another 13 weeks and then he’ll be getting the guided tour” Steve smiles his hand joining yours.

“Those 13 weeks can’t come soon enough” you sigh smiling when you felt a small kick.

“It’ll fly I promise, now c’mon let’s get some rest” Steve smiles kissing the top of your head.

“Okay” you hum as he wraps his arm around you leading you out, turning off the light and closing the door.

Sharing is caring so please reblog if you enjoyed this and maybe even leave a comment to make my day!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notifications for updates!

[dinogoose]

the sweet heat of his breath in my mouth (i’m alive)

Eddie’s fingers shake with every movement. Every line he touches he can feel himself tremble harder, his body ready to give in to every emotion coursing through him.

And yet- he still continues to trace the scars on Bucks chest. The deep red, lightning strike scars, that are still an angry mess. He starts at the top, slowly working himself around each of them, pointer finger never lifting.

(or, eddie traces buck's scars, and confesses everything.)

Eddie’s fingers shake with every movement. Every line he touches he can feel himself tremble harder, his body ready to give in to every emotion coursing through him.

And yet- he still continues to trace the scars on Bucks chest. The deep red, lightning strike scars, that are still an angry mess. He starts at the top, slowly working himself around each of them, pointer finger never lifting.

He knows they will disappear soon, but still, seeing how vivid and real they look before him he can’t help but want to touch them, absorb them.

A droplet of water lands on his canvas- the very man he is laying next to- Buck.

Eddie is aware now that the water is coming from him, as his face and neck have become damp and salty. He tries to stop crying, to contain himself, but he can’t. Not with Buck so alive, and real in front of him.

“Shh…” Buck coos, running his hand through Eddie’s unruly hair. Eddie himself was unaware he was crying out loud, but couldn't find it in himself to stop.

“I just- you almost-“ He takes a gasping breath, “I can’t do this without you.” Eddie buries his face into Buck’s chest, muffling his cries.

The blonde continues to comfort him, running his hand up and down Eddie’s back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I won’t leave you though, okay?” Buck stares down at him, his big blue eyes soft and pleading. Eddie clenches his eyes shut, shaking his head, tears falling faster.

“You can’t promise me that. Not in our line of work.” Eddie tells him, almost bitterly.

He knows it wasn’t Buck’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just a shitty thunderstorm that decided to take out Buck’s heart. Because of course it did.

Eddie remembers all of it. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.

The storm, hooking Buck into a harness. Telling him ‘Go get em’ cowboy’. Watching as he climbed up the truck. Seeing the strike before ever hearing it.

Eddie, after getting knocked off the truck, looking up to see Buck’s limp body, dangling in the rain. His climb up the ladder in order to get Buck down, let his team help him. Let his team find out if it was too late.

Eddie remembers driving the ambulance, vividly. The knowledge of Buck being dead just behind him, his heart stopped, and only living through Chimney’s compressions. There being nothing he could do about it except drive. Drive and get them to the hospital where he could potentially never see Buck leave from.

“Maybe I can’t,” Buck finally says, breaking Eddie from his thoughts. “But what I can promise is that I will never leave you. This universe might try and take me, but I’ll fight against it. I’ll fight for our family. I’ll fight for you. Always.”

Buck’s words are reverent, honest, and Eddie can feel something inside of himself cracking. Tearing down the walls he’s had up his whole life.

Eddie used to be a man who never cried, who ‘sucked it up’ just as his father instructed. But, as he lies here clinging to Buck, sobs wracking his body, he thinks that was never who he truly was.

He’s finally himself, finally a real person, when he’s with Buck.

And he almost lost that.

He wouldn't have survived losing another partner.

Bucks arms tighten around him despite the soreness that Eddie knows he still feels.

“There’s so much I still want to do with you.” Eddie admits, his voice hoarse. He looks up at Buck, taking him in.

How his eyes glow from the exposed moonlight peaking through his bedroom curtains. How his hair is extra curly, free of product. How his chest is exposed, clearly showing Eddie the extensive scarring that runs all the way up his neck.

It’s beautiful, in a horrifying kind of way. The kind of way, where Eddie will never be able to fully stomach thinking of how they got there. Stomach the loss he felt- feels. Each time he looks at Buck he can see his face wet with rain, heart stopped, body pliant.

Eddie looks away.

“I want to take you on a first date. I want to kiss you for the first time. I want to go to sleep and wake up with you. I want you to see Chris grow up, help me raise him just as you’ve already been doing.” Again, he looks up at Buck, who’s just watching him, tender look in his eyes.

“I want you to be with me, and never doubt for one second that I love you.”

Buck’s breath hitches for a tiny moment, before he’s leaning down to close the gap between them. When their lips meet it’s soft, slow, gentle, and full of love that words could never explain.

“I love you.” Buck whispers against his lips. Eddie kisses him harder, trying to taste his words. He breaks away in order to trail his lips down, kissing his jaw, tracing the bolt scars with his mouth.

He lets himself feel the heat they admit, the way they are slightly raised, marring Buck’s skin.

Eddie loves them.

Not because of how they look, but because he loves Buck. He loves every part of Buck, every inch of him. He loves Buck and all of his scars. Loves the one on his leg, that grew less visible with time, but still makes Buck apprehensive of wearing shorts. His tracheotomy scar that still embarrasses him. All of them prove that Buck is alive, that he survived, and is with Eddie now, holding him.

Eddie begins to move sluggishly, the exhaustion of the past few weeks catching up to him.

Buck seems to take notice of this as he runs his hand through Eddie’s hair soothing him.

“Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Eddie rests his head placing his ear to Buck’s chest, the thump, thump, thump, of his heart putting him to sleep.

(this is my comeback! sorry it’s poorly written I’m rusty and lazy. if you have anything specific you want me to write please message me with any ideas! okay bye)

[neverhangd]

Anne Bonny in Baldur’s Gate

Since the brainrot is in full swing and there will likely be more forthcoming, here’s some assorted verse info! Character sheet to follow later.

Anne is still a pirate. She was adventuring out in the Sea of Swords, serving as boatswain (mate) of the Ranger; shortly before everything went to shit, she and Jack had a final row and agreed to part ways when they docked in Baldur’s Gate. The ship never quite made it to dock, though, and Anne ended up abducted by the mindflayers. Anne’s primary motivation sans-tadpole is to make a name for herself apart from Jack, as it so often is with her; unlike usual, however, she’s open to making that name for herself through any means possible (rather than exclusively through piracy).

The nitties and gritties are below the cut, for convenience’s sake!

Race: Human (half-elf but the dumbass doesn’t know it)

Class: Barbarian

Subclass: Wildheart (bg3) or Totem Warrior (5e)

Background: Folk Hero Legend (if you know bg3 more) or Sailor/Pirate (if you know 5e more)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral to Good, depending current company

Appearance: 6’2”/186.96 cm, well-defined but not built-out; long red hair; freckled, sunburned, and scarred - mostly old bucks and bruises; there is a J branded into her back left side near the shoulder blade; pale green eyes.

Age: 24-28

Questline: The Dread Pirate. Highlights include a quest to find and kill (or at least maim) her ex-husband (could be either one tbh), find a way to get her a captaincy (which is A Route but not the preferred one) or otherwise help her establish herself as her own living legend (her ultimate goal and one achievable through a number of routes!). There are several romantic scenes as well, including one early on when your character can overhear another party member loudly saying a drawing “looks nothing like [pronoun],” and on choosing to investigate will find a flustered Anne trying to hide an open journal from the party member and now you. She will loudly complain that she “just don’t know how to feckin draw” and it’s “a way to practice for better cartography,” but it’s definitely supposed to be you. There’s a cute sidebar to this scene where if Astarion is in the party, even if as the romanced party, he’ll see a sketch of himself and may comment on it without realizing it’s a sketch of himself. When triggered, Anne will use that as proof that she’s an incredibly bad artist and this is all just practice for something practical and not her working through her feels at all.

In The Past

Anne’s (5e, pirate variant) background is that she served as the second in command to a pirate captain, her ex-husband Jack Rackham. She is a capable sailor, but ultimately a much better fighter.

Her (bg3) background is that she served specifically on the Ranger, and was Calico Jack’s right hand woman. Few people realize/know they were married, but most assume they were “bunking together.” Anne’s questline goal as The Dread Pirate is to find a way to recapture her folk hlegend status, this time for herself.

Going further back, Anne was the daughter of a minor lord from a kingdom in Laerakond, which they fled for Faerûn when Anne was quite young. She grew up a wealthy attorney’s daughter before eloping with her first husband, James Bonny, and trying her luck at sea. Their marriage…ended poorly. Despite his threats, Anne’s father never disowned her, and now lives in Baldur’s Gate—facts which Anne is unaware of.

This is around the time where it’s revealed that Anne’s genuinely a half-elf, her father’s bastard child, instead of just being a human with some weird but ultimately explainable similarities to elves (which is just some yada yada tbh). This can and will break Anne’s heart, who’s always believed and behaved like a human and who will now realize the likelihood of outliving all of this and who will probably break for a little bit at this juncture. H/C at its angstiest. Depending on your party makeup, this could ultimately serve as the less-tragic conclusion, as it ultimately allows Anne more time alive to pursue her/your/the party’s goals.

Anne is “surprisingly smart for a barbarian” largely because her youth was spent independently studying as a clerk in her father’s law firm.

In The Party

Anne is a wildheart/totem warrior (way of the bear) barbarian. Despite this—and because of her snobby upbringing—Anne trained for some time before going to sea as a fighter. It never fully suited her, for obvious reasons.

Anne is a reckless idiot and will fling herself bodily between you and danger if she decides you’re someone worth fighting for. If you’re someone worth fighting with, don’t worry: she’ll smack whatever caused the danger real hard for you later. She’s the first one in the fight and the last one out, given her way.

She has a dry, snarky manner about her that trends towards the hurtful and the obscene; charisma is her dump stat, and it shows. In spite of this, getting to know Anne is well worth the struggle, as she is a loyal, reliable, hardworking person at her core and only needs to be set upon some new direction to power through even the worst of circumstances.

Anne approves of decisions honoring free will and autonomy, favoring risky or violent behavior, and being insulted in return/being taken inoffensively when she says something in her less-than-congenial way. Anne disapproves of decisions honoring any form of forced servitude or action taken without prior permission/consent, favoring passive or deceptive behavior (with disadvantage if she has to act and her approval isn’t won first), and people being offended by her blunt and vulgar manner.

Thanks to years of backstory abuse you don’t need to worry about, Anne’s perception and insight are exceptional, and thanks to piracy she rolls with advantage on intimidation despite her low charisma.

Anne will refuse to be the “face” of the party as often as possible, as she prefers to lead fights, not conversations. (Despite this, it’s advantageous to have Anne in your party when having run-ins with most legal entities—she’s good in a fight, verbal and physical.)

In Play

Anne favors two-handed axes. (-insert swings both ways joke here-) She favors an unarmored/lightly armored approach and likes to throw things that’ll really mess up someone’s day—an unexpected weapon, a heavy item, an AOE thrown weapon, whatever.

Dexterity is Anne’s second lowest stat. Whenever possible, she’ll rely on brute strength or snap observations to get out of trouble.

[adampage]

Bestie..i havent watched AEW in like..three months. Please..what is happening 🤣 i wanna watch the hangmox fight

okay so basically hangman and the dark order went for the trios titles and lost against kenny and the bucks (it was basically hangman’s fault because he went to easy on them and was holding silver and reynolds back the whole time) this was all for nothing because then cm punk went on a tirade about hangman, Colt cabana, the bucks and Kenny during the after-ppv media scrum. Kenny and the bucks were still in the arena when it happened and went to confront punk about it. NONE OF THIS WAS PLANNED. they got into a physical altercation and all four men were suspended.

the elite and punk were all stripped of their titles and never spoken about again. until LAST week when hangman had his third confrontation with mox, because he won one of the big multi-mans at aew grand slam (rampage edition) for number one contendership of the title.

my mind is so scrambled right now so this isn’t going to be done chronologically.

anyway so hangman’s last big promo with mox last week basically amounted to hangman appreciating what mox said the week before about respecting him and believing him to be a good person and a great wrestler etc. But the one thing he didn’t like was that mox called him a sweet kid. it implied to hangman that although mox respects him, he thinks he’s not mature enough to handle being a champion or much of anything else (which almost, to me, seems like a shot at hangman for what happened with punk, because punk’s reason for going off at the scrum on hangman was that he was empty headed and dumb for not taking older wrestlers’ advice). hangman said that he was a husband, a father (much like mox), he’s BEEN a champ, he’s gone through hell and back etc. he got so amped up and he said yes I’m depressed I’m angry at myself I’m upset all my best friends keep disappearing (the dark order) and my old friends they HAVE disappeared (the elite!!!!! First mention of them since the scrum on television), then he says “the medicine is not working but I am STILL HERE because I am a man!!” and he is beating his eyebrow with his fist literally and cuts himself open because he was so fired up.

and mox had said that the reason he’ll hold on to the title is because he does what it takes, no matter what. he’s an indiscriminate fighter and he shows no mercy, basically. so hangman brings this up and says he knows he didn’t finish the job in may and that’s why he lost the title but this time, in Cincinnati, he’ll do what it takes. and then, he rubbed at his eyebrow, and with the blood on his fingers (very little blood it wasn’t too bad), he wiped the blood on Mox’s shirt and said “the only thing I have left is my shot and my word. On Tuesday I take my shot. and that (the blood) is my word.” Or at least that’s what it sounded like to me anyway.

the promo before this was like, mox coming out to save hangman from getting jumped after a match by private party, who were forced to go out there by Jose the assistant and stokeley Hathaway I think. and so when mox came out private party backed away because mox looked at them like “nuh uh”. mox complimented hangman and how much he’s been waiting for this match for over three years because they’ve hardly ever stepped into the ring all this time together etc and then he said but in Cincinnati I’m gonna break your face and choke you until you turn blue. and hangy was like turned on by it and mox made to leave but hangy stopped him and said if you’re so ready for this fight why don’t we just fight it out right now??? and THIS is where mox called him a kid and told him like a lot of kids, you say stupid shit (which, while this was a more relevant shot to Sammy guevara, who talked shit about andrade on twitter in public and then Andrade ended up shoot fighting him in the locker room, I also think it was a shot at hangman bc of the cm punk thing). And then he told hangy to watch his mouth.

anyway I’m so pumped idk about everyone else but I’ve been waiting for this match for literally three years since before the first aew dynamite show. me and my friends like. have always wanted to see how these two would behave around each other. love it. this match is gonna break me.

oh both promos had maxwell up top in the arenas watching them both with his casino chip that he can cash in for a title shot, by the way. it’s heavily believed that no matter who wins this match, maxwell will cash in and be champion. the other two won’t be champs for long.

sorry if this is so badly worded but I’m on my lunch break and I gotta eat shsjsjsjsjfj

[banannabethchase]

Take a Chance on Me Chapter 4: Lay All Your Love on Me

~

We get a look into Mox's encounter with the first of the possible fathers: Mr. William Regal. And my first time writing daddy kink what who said that

~

Two little disclaimers at the top of this chapter: 1) Mox is telling the story to his kid, yes, but it's written as flashbacks from Mox's perspective. If I only wrote what he specifically said, that wouldn't have been nearly as fun, would it? :) 2) Mox experiences mild gender dysphoria at the start of the chapter. Skip to the line that begins with "Seth grins" to skip that section.

And, again, heed the tags on AO3 my dears. I hope you enjoy!

~

Mox adjusts his binder, trying to get his stupid chest as flat as possible. It works, he supposes. He stares at himself in the mirror. To him, all he can see is what he wishes was gone. And then he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and looks again. It’s better. It’s so much better.

“Hey, man,” says Seth, coming up behind him. “It looks good. You need help with the back?”

Mox nods, frowning. “I think something’s stuck.”

Seth checks and, lo and behold, part of the band was flipped underneath, and he fixes it. “There you go,” Seth says, clapping him on the back. “You feel good? You look good.”

Mox takes a deep breath. “I feel great,” Mox says, looking at himself in the mirror. “Once I own this place, I’m chopping these titties off.”

Seth grins. “Own the place?”

“Or one like it,” Mox says, pulling his shirt on. It falls smoothly for the first time in his life. Something about the moment feels like peace. “You and me, dude. Running the gym circuit.”

“We’ll have to make money first,” Seth says. “As nice as fifteen bucks an hour is, that’s not going to go far with me and Roman trying to find a new place.”

Mox and Seth work their asses off. For the next few months, Mox learns how to safely bind and work out at the same time, which clients he meshes with and which he wants to throw through the windows. He gives those clients to Paige, who is much better at being bitchy in a nice way.

His, boss, though. He never lets up. For Seth, Paige, and the other trainers, Regal gives a couple of compliments, enough to balance out the critiques. When it comes to clients, he pushes them gently, checks in with them through the day to ensure the trainers, classes, and equipment are of exemplary quality, but he doesn’t leave Mox alone. He insists on perfection from Mox. That’s fine, Mox decides, he’ll give him perfection. His clients love him. He finishes all paperwork well before deadlines. He speaks to sponsors and gets them to donate more than strictly necessary to the gym

Mox goes above and beyond for William Regal and the gym. But, no matter what he does, it’s not good enough.

“Mr. Moxley,” Regal says, “your form is mediocre. Should you wish to work in my gym, I insist you improve to ensure you don’t poorly educate our clients.”

“Mr. Moxley,” Regal says, “I do not endeavor to house street rats in my establishment. This is a place of business, not a hovel in a back alley. Do get a haircut within the week.”

“Mr. Moxley,” Regal says, “please refrain from making love to clients in the showers. While I appreciate your attempts to keep the ring unsullied, it is a bit uncouth, wouldn’t you say?”

It’s the last one, on an already bad morning, that gets him. Natalya had asked him. It’d been her idea, something to blow off steam after a fucking terrible first class of bitchy clients. And, somehow, Mox was getting all the blame.

The rage stews in him through the morning until it’s the break for lunch. Regal is alone, checking inventory in the locker room when Mox goes in, and, well. Mox can’t resist.

“So,” Mox says, before he can stop himself, “what’s your problem with me nailing people in the locker rooms? Trust me, I clean everything.”

Regal’s face pinches, just a bit. Enough to let Mox know he’s getting under his skin. “It’s not appropriate for employees to engage in amorous activities with other employees.” There’s something tiny in the way Regal’s eyes flicker, the way they can’t seem to meet Mox’s.

Mox raises an eyebrow. Now they’re getting somewhere. “Oh, are you jealous?” Mox asks. He gets into Regal’s space, hands in his pockets. “You want some of this? Jealous I’m not getting on you?”

Regal’s careful lack of expression doesn’t fail, but Mox doesn’t miss the way his eyes flick down, briefly, to Mox’s lips. He can work with that. “I’d rather say I’d be getting on you, darling.”

Mox doesn’t think before he reacts, getting into Regal’s space just a little bit more, so they could be kissing if Regal makes the move. “Yeah? Prove it, bitch.”

There’s a hand around his throat before he can move, shoving him up against the lockers. It’s exactly where Regal had caught Mox and Natalya earlier that morning. Mox can’t help but smile. “You have an attitude on you, Mr. Moxley. One would expect an employee to know his place.”

Mox laughs, licking his lips. “One would expect the owner of a gym to have less of a stick up his ass, but here we fuckin’ are.”

Regal presses harder, crowding even farther into Mox’s space. “Such a mouth on you.” He rubs his thumb across Mox’s lips.

“Yeah?” And Mox knows where this is going. He knows. “Why don’t you shut me up, then?”

With a groan that sounds less turned on and more infuriated, Regal crushes his mouth against Mox’s, hand dropping from his throat and going for the back of his thigh. He hitches Mox’s thigh up around his waist, and Mox slips down the side of the lockers, just a little bit, until Regal presses between his legs, slamming him into the wall.

Sensations flood through him. Regal had interrupted his moment with Natalya before he’d gotten his, so he’d been worked up all day and gotten no release. He grinds against Regal’s thigh.

“Uh, you should probably know,” he says, arching into the way the guy grabs at his sides, “I’m trans.”

“I’m aware of that, Mr. Moxley,” Regal says.

Mox blinks. “Oh. Right.”

“Does that change anything?” Regal asks in his controlled British accent. He backs away, just in a little, and it makes Mox want to haul him back in. “Change your interest in this,” he pushes his thigh up, and Mox almost collapses on the spot, “encounter?”

Mox gets a little hot, a little shivery. “Some people…”

“I am not,” Regal says, biting at Mox’s jawline, “some people.”

Mox’s world is whirling as Regal shoves him up onto the bathroom counter. “I want to ensure I have your permission?”

“Permission to what?” Mox asks, because it’s unfair of this guy to rail him without being a little annoying about it.

Regal’s laugh is low. “Take you,” he says into Mox’s ear, serious and stern, “on this counter, however you want, until you scream.”

“Yeah, all the permission,” Mox says, hands scrabbling for Regal’s belt.

Regal grins, and there’s a hint of something mean behind it, something Mox is almost aching to taste. “Wonderful. You will tell me if you object to any of my,” he pauses, a little grin on his lips, “ministrations, will you not?”

“I will,” Mox says, trying to keep himself from squirming against Regal. He’s desperate for some little kind of friction. “I will, just. Get your dick in me. C’mon.”

“Hmm,” Regal says, biting at Mox’s throat, “maybe I want to hear your ask nicely?”

“Please,” Mox says, like he’s got no qualms about being desperate, “please, fuck me.”

“So polite,” Regal says. “I knew you would behave with a little motivation.”

Regal fucks him, hard, on the counter of the gym bathroom, one rhythm, steady pounding, not an ounce of hesitation. Mox holds onto his shoulder, reaching down between them to slide his fingers against his clit. He’s baffled, when he’s able to think, about how easily Regal props him up, holds him where he wants him, how devastatingly he drives into him.

“Close,” Mox whimpers, fingers stroking at hit clit with single minded focus, “c’mon, fuck me harder,” and he pauses, because he’s always down to try something, “Daddy.”

Regal’s gaze burns him. “Louder, pet, so Daddy can hear you.”

“Please,” Mox moans, “Daddy, harder.”

Regal laughs, not unkind, exactly, “Knew you could be a sweet thing.” He picks up the pace. “Go ahead, little prince, come for me.”

Mox hate that he does, hates that he comes on command for this demanding asshole of a boss, but it hits like him like an 18 wheeler. His words come out as something close to the word Daddy, not quite, but close enough he’s annoyed about it. “Want you to come in me,” he gasp. It’s a stupid idea, he knows. But he needs it. “Come on, Daddy.”

Regal lets out this strange little sound, something desperate and unhinged Mox knows Regal would never admit to outside of this moment. He feels Regal get a little frantic, and then it’s his cock pulsing inside of Mox.

“This was fucking stupid,” Mox says, still pinned up against the wall. He’s hot and sweaty and his head is in the fucking stratosphere, but he’s still annoyed. “I shouldn’t have let you come in me.”

“Petulant arse,” Regal says, but he punctuates it with a kiss to Mox’s cheek, something so charming it makes Mox want to strangle him. “I trust you would have told me if that was no longer on the table, however.” He steps back, giving Mox the space to slide off the table and pull his gym shorts and boxers back up his hips, well aware he’ll need to change within the next twenty minutes.

“I would’a,” Mox says. He runs his hand through his hair, trying to get it back to the casual messiness instead of the sex-mussed chaos. “Was fun.” He looks up at Regal again, feeling strangely hesitant to meet his eyes. “I, uh. I got a client at the top of the hour. First timer, so I gotta look my best. According to my boss, I mean.” He grins, trying to look cocky. “I don’t give a shit.”

“I���m sure you don’t,” Regal says. Before Mox leaves, though, he reaches up and rubs a thumb against Mox’s jaw. “Be well, Jon.” It’s almost a caress. There’s almost something sweet behind Regal’s eyes.

It’s the first time he’s called Mox by his first name.

It’s also, as Mox discovers the next day, the last time.

Regal’s gone at the end of the day, leaving Mox and Paige to close up, but Mox doesn’t think anything of it until the next day.

“Where the fuck is Regal?” he asks, walking through the gym. He figures the amount he’s run up and down the stairs trying to find him counts as his cardio for the day. “Yo! Seth! Where’s the boss?”

He blinks. “Dude, you don’t know?”

Mox shakes his head. “Know what?”

Seth studies his face, and Mox is suddenly convinced his time with Regal is written all over his face. “Oh, man. Yesterday was his last day.”

Something ice cold and cruel slides down Mox’s back. “What?” The room isn’t spinning, exactly. But it’s not steady.

Seth’s eyes glance around the place as he steps up to Mox. “Do you need to sit down?”

Mox finds himself nodding, a little baffled. “He left?”

“He left,” Seth said. He frowns, staring at Mox. “What’s wrong with you?”

Mox falls, a little too hard, onto a weight bench. “Uh.”

“Mox, what the fuck did you do?” Seth stares at him, and Mox half hopes he figures it out without Mox having to say a single word.

Mox looks up at Seth, trying to look pitiful enough to not get mocked. “Don’t judge me.”

Seth groans. “You fucked him, didn’t you.”

“I didn’t plan on it!” Mox says. “Just. Yesterday, he was being annoying, And I. It just happened.”

“I really wish you would stop sleeping with people because they pissed you off.” Seth sits down across from Mox. “Are you okay?”

Mox shrugs. “I – I guess? I just though, if he’d, he would have…” He pauses, looking up. “He just left?”

“Maybe it was his version of going out with a bang?” Seth asks. “Fuck. Not what I meant. I mean, maybe it was his way of saying goodbye.”

Mox shrugs. “Wish he’d just talked to me.”

He’s a little out of sorts the rest of the day, a cloud hanging over him even with his favorite clients. By the last few minutes, all he wants to do is burn some of this anxiety.

“You want to get dinner or something?” Seth asks as they pick up their things.

Mox shrugs as he changes out of his gym gear and into clean, dry clothes. “Or we go out to a club.”

With a long suffering sigh, Seth pulls out his phone. “Let me call Roman. If he doesn’t have plans tonight, sure.”

“Cool,” Mox says, grinning. “Let’s go fuck shit up.”

“Sometimes I miss being single and fucking everything that moves,” Seth says, holding the door for Mox, “and then, I see you being all weird like this, and I’m so goddamn glad I’m with Roman.”

~~~

“Still am,” says Seth, yawning. “I’m heading to bed, you two. Mox, don’t lie about anything!”

“I wouldn’t lie,” Mox insists, and Wheeler sees himself in the way he rolls his eyes. “Do I lie, Wheeler?”

“Not as far as I know,” he answers.

Seth stands, stretching as he yawns louder than strictly necessary. Like he always has.

Wheeler waves. “Night, Uncle Seffie.”

“Night, potato.” He stumbles down the hall, and Wheeler can hear Roman’s low grumble as Seth inevitably wakes him up.

Mox eyes Wheeler. “You want to crash? Seth and Ro are in your old room, but you’re welcome to sleep on the couch.”

Wheeler shakes his head. “No. I want to hear the whole story. Tonight.”

Mox sighs. “Hold on, then. I’m gonna need another slice of pizza.”