#But also it's so... idk! It's fucking stupid and it's meaningless.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Reading TV Tropes and I get to the part where they explain Fair-Play Whodunit and I get to see most likely the laziest and stupidest slur in existence.

[emptylotfiasco]

wanting to have sex with a character literally makes EVERYONE STUPID!!!!!!!

[genderdog]

chat is it normal to feel completely desensitized to feeling constantly sick that when you’re actually sick you feel like it’s not enough to warrant it

[infizero]

also having now actually seen the whole thing adventure time has skyrocketed into one of my favorite shows ever. like for real i liked it as a kid and have always had a fondness for it ever since but rewatching it now has made me realize Just how fucking good it is and how unlike anything else it is. its so good and appeals to ME specifically in so many ways please for the love of god if you haven't watched adventure time WATCH IT. WATCH IT RIGHT NOW

[vrmxlho]

hii kira !! do u have any hcs for sae abt how he would be as a bf?

SAE ITOSHI 糸師冴

if sae were a love trope he would 100% be belated love epiphany

"i never realised how much i loved them until they were gone." type beat yk

like pride and prejudice, except he's elizabeth and you're darcy ??

where you confess first and he rejects you but once you're not near him he realises that he really did love you

or when he saw how loaded you were, you be the judge (kidding)

y'all already know i think he's a good cook. like he was in spain for ages you bet he picked a few things up. cuz idk about spanish men but ik most italian men know how to cook and well.

he pours all his love into everything he makes, probably his love language honestly.

but he'd never let you know he's cooking for you because he cares

"you look like a ghost have you been eating properly?" "oh, no. unfortunately, i haven't found much time to cook lately..." "how bothersome. am i gonna have to take you all the way to the hospital when you faint from anemia?" "but i'm not even anemic..." "you will be if you don't eat your spinach." "..." "you know what. since you're so incapable i'll just cook for you." "excuse me??"

forgive him, he's just a bit of a cunt, but he loves you i promise

(also if you didn't know fun fact: preparing a homemade meal for someone is akin to confessing your feelings to them)

he's not much for PDA in fact in public he has his same, stupid, emotionless, deadpan face that is so punchable (affectionately?)

but when you're at home he'll find any excuse to lean his whole bodyweight on you

he also loves leaning in to kiss you and then reaching behind you to grab something or whatever, just to leave you flushed and stressed the fuck out

annoying asshole

he also gets very touchy when tired, if you're sleeping next to each other he tends to end up hugging you close to his heart by the time you wake up

he may not seem it but he would genuinely do anything for you

he tends to ignore most messages/texts/emails unless they're super important but he'd reply to you the second you text him

or even if it's a silly tweet

@you: there are 2 many ppl at this café 😞 @officialsaeitoshi: send me your location i got you your usual @you: ayo, how did you have it prepared n everything 😭 @officialsaeitoshi: spidey senses

he also has the most deadpan, sarcastic humour known to man

he's horrible (just my type)

nothing that comes out of his mouth is to be trusted

beware!!!

he is the no.1 gossiper alive, he knows everything about everyone's business even if he looks like the type of person who'd never think of anyone other than himself

somehow he's both at the same time

he could go hours talking about this random guy in his club who's actually the secret son of a drug lord and who ran away from home to save himself from imminent death...

what???? how does he know this?

i'm pretty sure he doesn't know either, anyway

he loves his lil self care night routines

you both sitting on the sofa talking about life (actually it's just him talking and you listening but whatever)

sae itoshi was an evening person. not because he felt most productive then. and not because he enjoyed the peace and quiet of the city. but because he enjoyed his night routines with you right next to him every second. you'd sit on the sink sill as he gently passed a finger with clay on it over your face as you kept talking about your day. "and then when i went to get coffee there were just so many people at the café it was such a hassle. this guy–" "shush. do you want clay in your mouth?" he kept swiping the remaining clay mask on your now stationary chin. once done he lifted you and walked to the sofa. this was no new routine. this was the only way he was able to unwind. with you next to him, just talking about the little, almost meaningless things. "i read somewhere that your coach is having an affair is that true?" you didn't know why you kept instigating him. it was late and you knew if he began talking now he'd only finish once the sun rose or your wake up alarm rang. but seeing him so animated was a rarity so you had to take advantage anytime you could.

now for how he confessed

at first when you confessed he rejected you and didn't think much of it at all

until he started noticing the little things about you, he started obsessing with every bit of you

how you looked, how you dress, how you style your hair

but also how your under eyes crease when you smile

how you're very picky with your food, especially dessert, but you'd eat anything if someone handmade it for you

how you're so patient when you tutor even if the person is being a dumbfuck

after obsessing over everything you did for about a day or two he was sick of the weird, nauseating feeling in his stomach

it had been about three days since the confession. being rejected right on the spot, especially in that cold manner was painful to say the least. but you were sure you had gotten over it. and you hoped with all your heart that he too had forgotten. he had just stood there as you finished telling him how he made you feel and how you had liked him for a while now. he had a horrible scowl on his face, arms crossed and an uninterested posture. you already knew what the answer was when you were done but it hurt so much more when he finally confirmed it all. so it was surprising when you saw sae march up to you as you ate your lunch with your friends. he had the same horrible scowl on his face from before. and you could feel your stomach drop as he pulled your wrist in a gruff manner. careless. he didn't care for you. "itoshi what are you–" he finally stopped once you were in a quiet corner behind the main building, away from curious eyes. "we need to talk." "about what?" "i couldn't sleep." "ok..?" "i couldn't stop thinking about you." "oh. i'm sorry if my confession made you uncomfortable. i didn't mean for it to bother you so much." "yes. it's so bothersome. now every time i see you with anyone but me, it hurts. i can't stand hearing about anyone but me, from you. i don't want you to think of anyone but me."

and then you were just like 😧🫣😏🤩

if you think rin's dramatic just WAIT until you talk to sae he's insane

THE BIGGEST drama queen (i hate him)

although i do think he is secure about himself and knows you wouldn't ever hurt him

i feel like he does have abandonment issues (a bit)

like imagine going through your teen years without family in a foreign country, you'd feel isolated no matter how many friends you made or how nice your host family was

he tries not giving any external reaction so you barely notice at first but every time he sees you with someone, looking a bit too friendly, he always feels his heart tighten

he's very gentle when kissing you

it's not like he's super strong or anything (mans is tiny)

and it's not that he's scared to hurt you, he just doesn't wanna appear too possessive or anything

favourite places to kiss you: why do i wanna say your waist, also knuckles

no idea why i just feel like if he weren't allowed to kiss your lips for any reason he would kiss there

but he definitely needed you to initiate the physical contact when you first started dating

speaking of which

dates with sae

100% movie nights, or just staying at home in general

mans hates going out if it's unnecessary

although, if you want anything he'd do it for you in an instant

or when he's feeling extra energetic

he'll take you dancing; this can either be ballroom dancing (which makes you cringe a bit but it's fun), salsa or literally just clubbing

i think he secretly loves clubbing at techno clubs (is that what they're called?) he hates commercial music cuz it just gets so repetitive

ideal vacation destination: somewhere isolated

like a random island in greece

or some forest in south america

idk man

he absolutely hates tourist destinations, tourists are his no.1 worst enemy

that's why you always end up going on holiday at random times of the year

"hey love, take a few days off next week. we're going to bora–bora." "it's the middle of march..." "not in bora–bora." "that's not how it works..." "i've already bought the tickets and spoken to your boss so you really just have to start packing."

now about pet names

he generally doesn't like them and thinks they're cringe and annoying

which they can be if used excessively ig

he tends to call you by a nickname or just your name

he only uses pet names when he wants something or has something to tell you that he knows you'll be angry/annoyed about

like the fact he planned a whole trip to bora–bora in middle of march and didn't tell you a thing 😞

however, if you're open about how much you hate him doing things without involving you he will change his ways

he's a quick learner after all ❤️‍🔥

[pastadoughie]

Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.

I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.

In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!

i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler

sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group

its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u

and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things

i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender

ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective

i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid

butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person

likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label

like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?

and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you

maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say

idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: How eventful…

• Sienna don’t be mad cuz you decided to spread them legs for Jin and people found out. Be sneakier next time💁🏽‍♀️

• Outfit time!

• This a little too prom for me no shade.

• Gorgeous! Stunning! Magnificent!

• Not Oakley just wanted to check on us. The rest of you boys gon have to step your game up Idk what else to say atp.

• Jin kinda evil omggg why he lie to them bitches for no reason???

• OH NO HE DID KISS SIENNA NOW WE CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER😱😱😱😱😱

• Yeah you are high on my list Liam…my hit list.

• Wait she’s cutesyyyyy!

• Hazel real lucky I like her cuz I coulda just aired her tea out just now.

• Exactly! So glad you get it now😁

• Here Theo go admitting he has a crush on me yet again…are we still supposed to gag at this?

• And I’m annoyed because of the both of you so how about you either grow up or break up!

• GUYS PLEASE STOP MAKING SHAWN PINE AFTER ME ITS ILLOGICAL AND ITS BECOMING VERY AGGRAVATING!

• Our clip was actually so meaningless help.

• Liam unless you want me, me, me to get Oakley to break you, you, you in half I suggest you shut it!

• Why do y’all want me to help you pick who to get with??? Why???

• FINALLY MY SUFFERING ENDS!!!

• Wow every couple here really sucks except us LMAOOOO.

• I love Bea but I really cannot feel bad for her when she complains about Liam. Girl you brought that sorry ass nigga in here like what😭😭😭 Kyle was right there.

• Aww chin up Sie-monster! I’m sure one of the demons in Hell are ready and willing to give you the love and devotion you need😊

• Outfit time!

• This the first sleepwear we’ve gotten that ain’t just a lace bra and coochie cutter thong I’m cryinggg.

• Ain’t no way Liam just creamed all over me and Oakley…sorry my intrusive thoughts made me type that😭😭😭

• You telling me this bitch heard the shower running, obviously indicating someone was in here, and then just decided to walk in…ok.

• Girl why she mad when she the one that walked in on me and my nigga fucking😭

• Hazel…not Liam…no girl you better than this!

• Claudia and Hazel look so damn good in their heart-rate challenge outfits my gawd! Thick thighs DO save lives😩😩😩

• Outfit time!

• Wish I could BEEEEEEEEEEEEE…part of your woooooorrrlllddd!

• Yeah this clears the mermaid fit I’m sorry.

• Hari had to watch Hazel give all her attention to Liam of all people ooouuu I know he wanna kill himself now.

• Damn not only is she not pretty but she also stupid, bless her heart.

• Jin’s football outfit made my 🐱 jump a lil bit jrkslashdhdkd sorry.

• I just busted out laughing.

• Exactly what I asked for😈

• I’m so glad we got to redo our dance cuz we ain’t get freaky like I wanted the first time.

• He mid as hell I’m sorry likekfjfjsksmak. This the best y’all could come up with for the last bombshell?

• Liam at this point just start fucking the boys sis cuz this the 3rd time you done did some sus shit.

• Oh lord I’m so tired of these anticlimactic ass cliffhangers. We already know ain’t no other bitch in here raised our partner’s heartbeat but us, stop playing!

[magicrainbowkitties]

Aight so I know this is the absolute LEAST concerning thing about the Palestinian genocide right now (which, I've probably forgotten to mention in my own words till now:

FREE PALESTINE, FUCK ISRAEL, AND UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW IF YOU SUPPORT THAT GENOCIDAL FUCK NETANYAHU AND HIS ASSHOLE CRONIES).

BUT. In light of them asking us out west to boycott several specific companies, the one in particular I wanna talk about is SodaStream.

Because uh. I'm gonna be so fuckin fr right now cause I thought those guys had gone outta business. Like. My parents bought one cause of the stupid fuckin commercials from when it first came out (admittedly, I asked them to, because I was maybe 7 or 8, and "ooooh at-home soda machine sounds coooooool"), and we all fuckin hated it. And not even like the one part was bad and I grew to like it later, no we ALL (me, my parents, and my brother) tried it multiple times with multiple different flavors of those fuckin pint bottles of syrup you had to buy from like Bed Bath And Beyond or something, and it was all fucking NASTY. It tasted like if sewage waste was in a lead-lined shipping container on the same transport as a can of whatever soda.

We dispised the loathsome thing, to the point where that fuckin soda machine vanished into the ether sometime between us moving and the last time we saw one of those shitty syrups on the shelves. And the latter was well over 7 years ago I think (idk time is hard), so I honestly have no clue in the world where that piece of filth ended up. Nor have I seen anything with a SodaStream logo on it for the last forever.

Like. It's literally the same thing as the fucking Juicero, just for soda. And also like the Juicero, you can't find the bottles of syrup for it literally anywhere, so I assumed that it took the route of Juicero (which is to say, directly into the business void, never to be seen again). The fact it's apparently still around is crazy enough, but the fact they have enough money to be such a powerful influence that Palestinian people are like "hey stop buying from these guys, they're actively making things worse for us" is straight-up mind-boggling to me.

Maybe it's just my ass being firmly planted under a rock, but if anybody would like to let me know where these peddlers of gross have been hiding/exactly why they're being boycotted (not to say I won't or that everyone shouldn't, by the by! Just asking if anyone knows some context plz and thank u), that'd be really cool!

Anyhow uh I'm sorry this one was long and rambling, I've been sick all weekend and time is a meaningless soup rn. Take care, and if somehow someone from Palestine ends up seeing this... I see you, I love you, and I'm so, so sorry for everything being done to you and your people. Know that there are millions upon millions of people all over the world crying out for your justice and for your lives, and that those people refuse to leave you to suffer alone so long as we can help it. I hope my little rant at least made you smile a little, and I wish you every ounce of whatever strength you need to get through this. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[mattelektras]

What are some of your gripes with how marvel has written things in the last 20 or so years?

Basically i used to be soo into marvel comics then I stopped being into them but now I'm trying to get back into them but I used to be such a hater and I hated so many writers but now I can't remember why I hated them it's actually infuriating😭 like all I remember is matt fraction hawkeye (yay) and quicksilver no surrender (very good) but ik marvel has committed some crimes against me but I can't remember what they were :(( I remember not liking trial of magneto atleast☹️

i think my biggest thing is changing things to reflect the mcu. like people defend it because it makes comics easier for new readers and. no it fucking doesnt. and its so PETTY. like they killed off the fantastic four because they didnt have the cinematic rights to them. they tried to replace mutants with inhumans because they had the rights to one of them and not the other. but then after a while they DO get the rights to them and have to change it back??? they make themselves look dumb as fuck and its not a writer decision, its a decision made as a company and then everyone else has to work around even when it doesnt make sense. and it affects decades old beloved characters/franchises for the sake of some billion dollar faux cheap 2+ hr minor disappointment. i can experience that for free in my day to day life.

then everything also has to be an Event like. nothing can just happen in one issue anymore. or like 20 issues in the same comic. which is because they wanna change you £28497 instead of just like £20 back in ye olden days. there's a trend going here u will notice

THEN since you bought up matt fraction hawkeye. not paying their fucking writers or artists for using their shit!!!!! everything in comics now seems like its just used for the sake of the mcu. like they either test out stupid shit in comics so they can then do it in the mcu, they take stylistic choices from artists and writers that worked in comics and use them to make way more money than the original creators ever did

the tl;dr is that comics feel like mcu fodder now instead of their own entity like. 99% of them feel very cheap n like. soulless. like the recent death of kamala. why. what is the point. so they can make it match the mcu and bring her back as a mutant. but it makes her whole death meaningless and shes a much better character than that. he first solo was so heartfelt and personal but they make everything too Big and World Ending because in a 2 hours movie, it HAS to be. comics arent like that. where are the filler issues and the team ups just for fun. idk i think theyve changed comics into something more than they are recently n its just not something that works for the medium imo. silly little picture books should just be silly little picture books and some big money making mcu pipeline

[edalynn]

ok an entire year later how do you feel about the owl house season 3........ i rewatched it recently during that one marathon and auhhhhh honestlyyyyy idk it was fineeeee...... the second episode fucking sucks every single time i watch it (other than the luz and camila scene) but i found myself enjoying "watching and dreaming" more than i did the first time. i think the parts that really mattered were fucking amazing, like eda & king & luz reunion, luz's "death" (seriously the music and animation was SO good), the final fight, belos' death. they did the best they could with the extreme time restraint, and i do like how it focused more on just luz and eda and king instead of Those Other Guys (said with love). but i can't believe how bad "for the future" was. it somehow manages to get worse upon every rewatch LOL. what are your thoughts? also hiiiii

HIII!!! I agree entirely, the parts of the episode that mattered were REALLY REALLY good! Everything involving the main story and plot were done insanely well with how much they probably had to cut out with the series being shortened. The final fight still gives me chills and while I wish we got to see more than we did, I'm satisfied with how the main story was wrapped up, and I'm happy that the final episode finally put all the extra side plots going on with the other characters to the side to bring the main three back to the focus like they were at the start of the series. Removing the episode from the rest of the disaster that was the second episode, I actually really enjoy it and like it. That being said, SERIOUSLY. Why was FtF SO FUCKING BAD. Every time I watch it, it makes me find more things to be mad at it for/dislike about it. Easily the worst episode of the entire series, it still feels so out of place and unnecessary. And half the episode feels like it recons certain characters' arcs just to give the episode some "villains". Which is stupid because Belos and the Collector ARE STILL RIGHT FUCKING THERE. Like, there was no reason to make Kiki still power hungry as if Belos telling her to go die in a hole and her helping King because she was just so broken at the end of it all during the Day of Unity never fucking happened. She was always fighting for Belos (and herself by extent, but), so why would she still be trying to rule people? That makes no sense in the context of the story. And Boscha begging Amity to take her back? Also makes no sense. Like, yes, it makes slightly more sense than Kiki, but only for the fact that we don't really see Boscha ever get "better" yet, she mostly just became irrelevant. Although, that' not entirely true either, because we see her being disgusted by Luz and Amity being romantic in the beginning of LR, so actually I take it back. It makes just as little sense as Kiki regressing back to her old ways, now with no purpose behind it. It just reads so much like bad fanfic writing from a 12 year old that just discovered Wattpad lmao.

And obviously, don't even get me started on the Willow bullshit from the episode. I feel like I've repeated myself a million times about how that episode fully put the anchor on the sinking of her character & arc. And the fact that they used Hunter as a way of doing it, which also made Hunter extremely OOC and made half his arc and growth meaningless. Just makes me SO fucking mad.

[norondor]

I'm not sure it's possible to get a bingo with this card but pick any or all of Nearl/Siege/Horn and give me your Opinions

it IS possible to get a bingo! but you may not like me after this.

NEARL

Nearl is such a fucking chad. the first real events i got to do anything with when i started last year were the maria nearl rerun/pinus sylvestris/near light trilogy and holy shit. after being only mildly plussed by her in the intro chapters, nearl became a favorite almost immediately. I don't usually love super chivalrous knight type characters, they're fine, i have no particular bias towards them, but marge is a really well realized modern version of this trope that lands super well with all we see of kazimierz and its hellish culture. obviously as a huge lesbian i was immediately enchanted by her behavior in her event, the dance with liz melted my heart, the homoerotic light and darkness sword duel with viviana made me go insane, she's SO COOL dealing with the blood knight... i wasn't that into the kazimierz plot to start with but nearl (and flametail!) made it my second-favorite subplot in the game all on her own. red circle above is because i cannot tell, due to my somewhat insular choice of fan circles, whether the general fanon is that she's in a poly thing with the Followers or something stupider and more wrong than that; if that's the take, we have a bingo! If not, move that circle over to "everyone but me is wrong."

I know people don't like her staying in kazimierz, but if i can drop a hot take -- and i can, it's my fucking blog and you've chosen to be here, sucker -- i actually like the vibe in near light that you cannot just stride in and crush societal ills and overthrow Capital just like that. helping people is still meaningful; doing the work of dismantling oppression is meaningless without making sure people survive to do it in the first place. her decision comes from a place of altruism and care for the people of her homeland, not from a misguided belief that she can work from within to change the cops or whatever the fuck. i get with that; it's a different character motivation than i'm used to and i'm really for it. moving the decimal place still matters to the people who will survive because you did, and that's what nearl and the doctor are doing the whole time in near light.

SIEGE

I'm sorry. idk her at all. I've never pulled her, only used her once, and i haven't started episode 10 yet (SORRY) -- i expect this rating to change when i DO know more about her but right now i'm just scared they'll do some lame shit True King Returns plotline with her and somehow make act 2 worse than it started out. she's hotter than all fuck though.

HORN

Second blonde woman bingo! Anyway you can unfollow me now if you wanna.

I'm sorry to be so hard on her but again; having completed episode 9 but not yet started 10+ i despise her. my dear friend @deneviere put it well yesterday; they tried to make her the sympathetic authority figure in ep9 but she is, objectively, here to do some bootboy shit, so what she really is is a massive centrist. no, horn, i DIDN'T consider that trying to preserve a culture under threat of ethnocide could damage unity in the imperial core, because i'm not a fucking imperialist. shut the fuck up, you dumb dog.

It's entirely possible a lot of her bad writing is a symptom of ep9 just being a complete shitshow overall; her interactions with Hamilton Von Racist are incredibly fucking pointless for what actually goes down in them, and the ending after 9-19 was so cartoonishly stupid i couldn't even be angry (this is a lie). she's still very hot and stupid overpowered as an operator, but i'm leaving Horn at level 1 forever because i already have Ashlock leveled, and also i hate her. this rating is also subject to change but, uh, we'll see.

[raazberry]

(obm rant ahead it's long)

kinda really pisses me off when people dismiss the demand for good writing in dating sims by simply saying "it's a dating sim what do you expect." (and yes this is about a stupid take i saw about obey me specifically on twitter how did you guess.)

like, maybe this is a me thing but if a game is heavily driven by gacha then i am even more obligated to be critical of it. and if i'm going to be investing that much time (and money) into it, i think i deserve Something out of it???

i've complained about this on here so many times but it's genuinely so hard to actually keep progressing in the story (normal mode at least), especially if you're a new player - unless you whale a whole lot, or get extremely unbelievably lucky. and when you get past like, lesson 20 i think? the struggle just seems... meaningless.

why am i waiting four whole days just to level up one card by ONE level, just so that i can get past this one really annoying dance battle, only for the next story to be just... plain bad? and then i have to do it all over again?

like okay, maybe the story does get better in fucking season 3 which is like twenty more chapters away (btw from what i've heard, it kind of just doesn't get better) but as a new player it is just so hard to keep that level of commitment especially if all you're rewarded with is horrible writing and negative character development.

i've played free dating sims with better played out plots and stories than this and it just pisses me off so much because the general "idea" of obey me is SO good and so fun! and the characters you meet are genuinely interesting. although some jokes were objectively cringe i can live with that (i am playing a dating sim, after all...) like spoilers for lesson 16 and above i guess but in my opinion the execution of the whole belphie hating humans and quite literally killing MC was done in a pretty nice way! as well as the backstory cards regarding the brothers (and everyone else other than the MC) and their relationships with each other! for example anytime i think about satan and lucifer's strained relationship i get a little bit emotional - and yes of course sometimes satan's almost childish annoyance towards him can be pretty funny, it's almost always treated as a running gag (even after they "sort it out") - to the point where it's one of satan's defining characteristics (the other is his love for cats and books). and that's it! that's all there is to his presence in the main story for the most part.

the events are somehow even more annoying - (those i can actually play without being frustrated about my level) and the stories always try so hard to squeeze every single dateable character in one scenario. and this ends with all of them feeling like caricatures of themselves and i hate it! so much! because again - these are genuinely really fun characters and they have so much potential! even if the devs want to make MC your typical harem protagonist, they can still do it well but they just aren't and it makes me so mad 😭😭😭

"well raaz stop playing the game then!" i did do that actually for a good amount of time and i came back because solomon birth (fire emoji), also anniversary. but also i feel like the players kinda deserve better. especially given the gacha aspect.

although i do think that the anime and music are genuinely pretty good - it's just kinda frustrating that they're not improving their main product first.

"what was the point of saying all of this?" there was no point at all. im just annoyed that i actually spent time and money on this game. though i will say that i do love the fan creations and people kinda treating the characters like their OCs and giving them the plot and development they deserve.

"this is a really long post why do you complain so much?" at this point im just criticising myself for no reason but also idk! i play a couple of gacha games other than obey me and i've honestly realised that it's the worst and shittiest way to monetise your game. and gacha games deserve at LEAST twice the amount of critical analysis because it could literally be the reason for someone's fucking gambling addiction. idk

good night it is almost three am and i have a road trip to be on tomorrow

[e2019]

the sub doctor upped my dose cuz he thinks i'm a high relapse risk tho personally i feel that my risk of relapsing is lower than it ever has been before for where i'm currently at but i guess thats kinda a hollow n meaningless statement as i've already decided to do it pretty much i just want to delay it as long as possible

idk for how long i can keep benefitting from what i've been doing tho cuz i almost thought the way i'm using the subs would put me in a position where i'm withdrawing from them too but it seems more like the opposite actually i have to keep decreasing the dose because taking the same amount even 2x in a row my tolerance drops in btwn atp if i take 4mg+ i'll probably be nodding.

so what i'm realizing is there's a limited window of time during which it's possible to use subs "therapeutically" without committing to being on maintenance cuz i don't wanna get fucked up on em but eventually any dose no matter how small will be too much it seems. it's hard to find people to ask for opinions or talk about stuff for advice cuz other ppl on subs are, for the most part, uppity squares who are retarded &/or whipped enough to do unquestioningly whatever their doctor tells them

so anyways idk it kinda feels like no matter what i do i'm only going backwards. by some metrics i think i am making observable/measurable progress tho like i don't wanna count my eggs before they hatch or whatever but i'm only a few days shy of 1.5mo off heroin so i just have to do again what i've already done and that'll be 3mo which in the grand scheme of things isn't very long at all but it's nonetheless very important because it's the biggest milestone in getting off opioids imo because thats the point at which you start feeling significantly better like significantly significantly

and i've only ever made it that far like a laughably small number of times considering that i've tried to quit heroin a countably infinite number of times. and each attempt was such a struggle for me each day felt like a week and each week felt like a month each month felt like a year like i'm sure this sounds so stupid & overdramatic like omg it's only 3mo just suck it up but it feels impossible and it's not even like you're completely better after 3mo it's just after that point the lingering symptoms are no longer entirely incapacitating.

anyways the time is just flying by i know for sure i'll make it to 3mo with relatively little effort i have confidence i can stay sober for at least 6mo this time but after that idk all bets are off but no matter what happens i'll feel really good about that because i've only ever done that once before so it'll be like a new personal best almost. idk i have high hopes cuz i'm able to think about all kinds of other things that i want/want to do that will motivate me to not spend all my time/money on drugs.

i get i have not been sober for very long atp so it's really too early to say what will happen like maybe i shouldnt be so hopeful but honestly i think it's a good sign because it's hardest at first & gets easier with time, liek usually i would be so much more obsessive atp i wouldn't be able to think about anything but getting high i would be out of my literal mind fiending but i feel like i have the control/patience to wait until i've made the (somewhat) "rational" decision that it's worth it which at this point in time it's definitely not, except that has literally never stopped me before.

no matter what i decide to do i think this is a W for me because i didn't go in to this with the intention of staying sober forever i just wanted to slow down and regain some control over my use and i'm learning to do that i think

oh and i also haven't done, and have hardly even thought about doing, seriously retarded shit like shooting up water which typically it's a real challenge for me to make myself stop doing that. even if i never stop using i'm cautiously beginning to wonder if i could, at the very least, eventually get myself to stop shooting up but idk because i know it would take a looooooot of work, not to mention it'd mean i'd have to smoke crack.

[lannisterdaddyissues]

Mar im gonna need 3, 16, 20, 23 and 27 with bill cage <3

@calkale @sliderkerner WAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU MY BELOVED FRIENDS FOR INDULGING MY INSANITY I LOVE YOU GUYS <3333

1. My first impression of them hmm its funny bc i think i first watched edge of tomorrow in august and i was normal about it actually? i was like hm that was a good film but not the best of his movies for sure. i dont think i really understood most of it though so a rewatch was necessary, but that didn't happen until february and idk what clicked that didn't the first time but oh i am SOOOOOOOOOO insane about it now the lights are all flipped on

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like) i knew as soon as he tripped over the chair that i was going to love his stupid pathetic ass <3

3. A song that reminds me of them ill NEVER STOP SAYING THIS but 'the proof of your love' by for king & country it is SO bill-coded, so billrita-coded, it's literally their theme song idk what else you want me to say

however since i've said that one before i'm reccing 'undercover angel' by alan o'day because it would be one of those classics he used to love growing up and when he hears it again on the radio some time after they've gotten together he's like "rita oh my GOD do you know how to dance 🥺🥺🥺" and she's like "nooooooo not the fucking angel song, cage, come on-" but he teaches her how to waltz to it and . let me be delusional okay

16. A childhood headcanon wawawa.... baby bill.... hm i have several small ones but i firmly subscribe to the headcanon that he was actually born in georgia because his mom is from there (it would explain EVERYTHING about him, especially because i also hc that his personality was just copy-pasted directly from his mom) but he moved to cranbury when he was like one or two so he considers himself "from cranbury, born and raised" anyway

20. A weird headcanon ok uhhhh idk if this is weird but it IS oddly specific so! he can make one (1) pie recipe! it's blueberry pie (cranbury is famous for it, according to google) and rita LOVES it. she's definitely not a sugar person and rarely indulges in anything at all but she's such a sucker for that fucking pie and bill is always over the moon whenever she gives him That Look that means she wants another slice but is too proud to ask

23. Future headcanon he takes rita to visit cranbury a couple years after they both fall into place beside each other and it's a very emotionally healing experience for both of them. he tells her lots of silly meaningless little anecdotes from when he was growing up while giving her the grand tour and rita isn't a very sentimental person either but she can't help how easy it is to picture him living in that cute little town when he gets so chatty about it :,)

(also rita eventually takes him to her hometown in wolverhampton and reluctantly introduces him to her very alive, very normal parents because i said so)

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet? in my mind he and fix it felix jr get brunch every sunday to catch up about the horrors they have been through and gush about their sexy muscular action girlfriends. nobody can take this idea away from me

[sugared-violets]

most of the time i'm literally fine and like living my life the best way i can or whatever but sometimes i'm like. idk fully spiralling and in pain and so achingly lonely i can't function but i have to keep cooking dinner and getting good sleep and going to work and coming home and consuming whatever stupid meaningless piece of media is making me feel slightly less empty that day and rinse and repeat on and on every single day and nothing changes and that's good because i'm actually, really, genuinely happy most of the time but it's also miserable and i feel trapped with no way out and nobody to ask for help and honestly i shouldn't even NEED help because i'm fine!!! my life is going well and i'm stable and i don't try to hurt myself anymore so i shouldn't need to be helped but. fuck. it would be nice, you know? it would be nice to be helped.

[lemony-snickers]

I don’t think anyone here believes you to be pathetic. I certainly don’t leaving anon hate is pathetic. I imagine it was more of what you said that no one wanted to continue to perpetuate that hate and start a fight. I on the other hand will, I just didn’t see these until right now.

wherever that anon is now I find it absolutely disgusting to leave a comment like this on the page of someone you consider yourself to be a ‘fan’ of. You never know what people are going through and struggle with so really who the fuck are you to come in with your unfounded opinions?

I don’t know any creator that doesn’t struggle with their work and or self image in relation to that work—some are just better at hiding it than others. what do you mean promotion? Sharing here or on ao3 is promotion, and yes it clearly is a problem other writers are facing in which a work will receive 40likes and 2reblogs. Or 500 hits and 10comments. People don’t want to engage when they can read it and leave it, tiktok only reenforces that, so I don’t understand why you mention that here. How about you share some of the works your a “fan” of instead?? You’ve read the comments but have you left one? On lemony work or others?

That anon must not be a creator, as they clearly do not know how difficult it is to first find the time and drive to write and second find the courage to share those works.

Lemony do not listen to them no one who is a true fan here thinks this of you 💙

let me be clear about a few things:

no bashing or negativity aimed at an anon is ever necessary to still show support for a person who receives a less than ideal ask;

when i rb a "tell me honestly" ask game, i do not expect every response to be positive;

however, i also only rb those things when i know i am in an emotional space to take potential criticism.

so i was pretty fucking blindsided when i woke up on tuesday morning and the very first thing i saw was a long, fairly aggressively worded diatribe about how i am a "nagging girlfriend" fishing for attention in response to an ask game i had reblogged a whole week prior.

TW: talk of animal death in next paragraph.

and not that it's actually anyone's business, but it was particularly awful given that i spent monday night cradling my cat in my arms as he was euthanized after developing sudden & unexpected heart failure. so i wasn't in the headspace to deal with criticism at all. i could barely fucking get out of bed & was actually considering offering commissioned fics out of desperation to go toward the huge vet bill i had to suddenly pay out of pocket.

and then, to receive another anon ask insinuating that i sent the fucking thing to myself to garner... what? attention and sympathy? (lol if i wanted to do that i would've just talked about my dead cat, thanks!) really fucking cut deep. especially when not a soul voiced any support - publicly or privately - that that is not a thing i would do. because, true or not, the way my super cool nagging girlfriend brain works is to take that as confirmation that people agree:

(see anon # 1, i don't throw all of my insecure complaints onto this blog and here, anon # 2, a preview of what a mean ask i sent myself might actually sound like.)

i spent the whole of tuesday crying - at my desk, on the bus home from work, during my therapy session that afternoon, and long, long after. and maybe it's stupid to feel so attacked by meaningless shit on tumblr or lonely because of the lack of response in its wake, but goddamn, y'all. there are nicer ways to air your grievances with me than to be insulting. and if you think i'm the kind of person who would send a lengthy hurtful message to myself for fucking likes or kind asks or whatever (lol joke's on you, i guess), honestly, why are you even here?

tbh, i don't know why i'm here at this point. maybe another hibernation is overdue or maybe i should've stayed gone, idk. what i do know is i didn't login all day yesterday and it felt pretty great. because it just fucking hurt to watch countless folks like and rb all the fanart from my queue that day with nary a, "hey lem, saw those asks, hope you're doing all right" in the same span of time.

(i will acknowledge that one mutual sent a totally unrelated ask re: an opinion on food & drink to change topics which i answered privately because by that point in the day i was so fucking depressed the thought of trying to be fun & lighthearted made me physically ill & i was of the resolute opinion that not a single person would give a shit what i had to say about it anyway.)

i'm sorry to vent on your ask, anon. i probably shouldn't post this but who even cares at this point, lol. people will think what they will of me and i'm too exhausted to attempt a curation of something better or more well-adjusted or self-assured.

i hope you're having a good week, blue heart anon. for better or worse, i hope the anons who made me cry on tuesday are, too. but i'm down in The Pit now (which is what my therapist and i call my deep dark depression spirals) and idk when i'll claw my way back out.

hopefully soon. take care of yourselves in the meantime, yeah? <3