#But this illustration will have to do for now ;-;

[artinelysian]

Started and finished this piece today, in under 3 hours just to get it out for Elain Day! It’s just my beautiful girl outside in nature, feeling the breeze in her hair, and soaking up the last bit of sun that the day brings!

[valeriehalla]

at this point I just categorically have 90,000,000 times more fun on tumblr than the smoldering wreckage of twitter. like, twitter was already becoming kind of a drag for me before the hostile takeover, and now that cohost (hallowed be her name) is shutting down, it's like, well—i guess we doin’ tumbls again!! “it’s obviously the best one”

honestly, while the queer internet may never recover from the sucking wound that was and is tumblr’s NSFW ban—at least not as long as the united states of america continues to fail to take antitrust action against apple, google, and the payment processors collectively serving as the final boss of what’s allowed to be posted where on the internet—i’m starting to feel like tumblr is moving back into position as The Best Site For Artists regardless. my thoughts on this are half-formed, but it’s like this:

every other social media platform is either 1. tiktok, 2. hyper-obscure, or 3. slow-motion self-destructing to a degree way beyond even what tumblr inflicted upon itself in 2018. this is not a new sentiment i don’t think.

i think the fact that tumblr is unable to capture the literal billions of users every other platform is chasing makes it arguably a lot nicer for the users who are here. there is no way for an application to achieve a tiktok-sized install base that isn’t just naked manipulation and skinnerboxing. tumblr’s leadership seems either too incompetent to pull it off or too wise to try, and so we have what is effectively the last microblogging platform on the internet that’s actually still usable for microblogging.

also, a smaller-but-not-too-small audience is more engaged with what they’re seeing. simple as. a thousand notes on tumblr means more than a million views on tiktok and it always will.

of course, i am in fact making a living off of sexually-explicit art right now, and so tumblr cannot be my One Platform. i get away with it because the art is in service of a story hosted off-site, and so i never need to post The Whole Pussy on here; if i was exclusively an illustrator i’d be even less thrilled with the current state of things than i already ain’t. i guess this is just a testament to how truly bad The State Of Things has gotten, though. congratulations, tumblr: you really did win by doing absolutely nothing.

[genericpuff]

What do you think about Reachel's new redraw?

I feel like the characters look good but the background is too gray compared to the original one 😕

It's pretty rough, ngl. Not even necessarily because of the art itself, but because it's not a panel she should have ever redrawn to begin with.

The whole point of that scene was to showcase Persephone bringing life into the Underworld, a place where only death existed, but in this redraw it completely lacks that messaging, resulting in a scene of Persephone and Hades simply hugging each other in the dark with very dead-looking foliage surrounding them.

On a structural level, the composition has gone from vertical to horizontal, giving us way too much empty space around them which, again, is failed by the background being so dull and lifeless; Persephone's somehow become even smaller; and worst of all (though I'm sure some people will think I'm overreacting) her hair isn't tucked up in Hades' arms anymore, it's just sort of falling perfectly over his shoulder as one solid goop of pink, strangely changing shape as if it's resting on something but there's clearly nothing there.

That said, my opinions should be taken with grains of salt because I also have a lot of personal beef with a redraw like this - that original panel was my phone background for like, 2 years, and the episode it came from is still one of my favorites of all time in spite of all the criticisms I now have of the series, with art that originally inspired me to want to learn how to draw like Rachel.

There's been a lot of evidence over the past year or so to suggest that Rachel has "fallen out of touch" with her own work and these redraws that she's been making lately feel like tangible proof of that. The context in which she created those original panels no longer exists so to try and redraw them fundamentally misses the point of why they were so iconic to begin with.

I can understand that feeling of falling out of touch with your own work, to the point of not even seeing the appeal of it yourself anymore, but that's all the more reason to keep moving forward, not back. The fact that she's still just muddling around with LO stuff despite announcing two more projects and seemingly not making any progress with either the TV show or Rachel Smythe Presents... it really does seem like she's stuck in limbo. The deadlines and contractual obligations aren't there to motivate her anymore, and while that may now have freed her from the burden of creating LO in such a cramped and unhealthy space - now being able to create it simply for herself - I think the years of working on it have definitely taken its toll on her ability to create the way she used to and so we're seeing those growing pains now.

The real bummer about it is that it's being celebrated as "growth" but it's about as much growth as the illustrated environment above - dead and bleak.

[yan-randomfandom]

P!Yandere!Pines Family x GN!Teenager!Reader

[PLATONIC] a continuation to this! decided to just make them all yanderes cuz y not lol errmm just subtle ykwim... i'm not proofreading all this so just have my draft

warnings: staring, violence, alcoholics, abuse, blood, implied murder. woah intense

❤️‍🔥

"Then I saved Ford by slicing its eye! You should have seen it!"

You laughed, settling down from your dramatic gestures that you've been making throughout the entire dinner. The entire Pines family watched you in awe, especially Dipper and Mabel, easily captivated by your personality and story.

"Yes, well, they certainly saved my life," Ford chuckled as he fed himself a spoonful of food.

"You have to stop lettin' kids save your life so much," Stan scoffed.

Dipper grabbed a book out of nowhere, clicking his pen in preparation—

"No writing at the dinner table! We talked about this!" Stan called out, earning a sheepish smile from Dipper who immediately drops the book on the ground.

"But what did the monster look like?" Dipper stammered, eventually turning to you with a curious look on his face. He looked eager to learn more. That's what you can tell anyway, if you remove his reddened face, which is most likely from embarrassment.

Mabel, who sat across from you, leaned towards you with the biggest smile on her lips. You grinned back to return her energy. "Bet it was super gross! Was there a lot of blood?! Blaarrrgghhh!!!"

"No gross sounds at the table, pumpkin!" Even Stanley felt like he's tired of his own voice. This is him trying his best to not let you be uncomfortable. Well, he supposed you and his brother brought up the story in the first place.

Speaking of, why were you even here? Ford came back in the mystery shack after missing for a day, only to bring a random teen with him. It's a good thing he cooked extra since he thought Soos was coming over.

But he needed answers fast.

"Ford," Stan whispered firmly, catching his brother's attention. Tilting his head, he tried to signal him to move out, but someone interrupted them before they could do anything.

"Hey! No sneaking out the dinner table!" Mabel exclaimed, pointing a fork at her grunkles.

Stanley stood up and Ford followed his actions. They were already heading out the door with Stan holding his twin's wrist. "Well, sweetheart, VERY REASONABLE EXCUSE!"

As soon as they were out of sight, you and the other kids exchanged looks.

"He did say it's reasonable."

"Yeah, I can live with that."

... You snorted. "You guys are a funny bunch. He literally said the excuse, and you let him go just like that? You must trust each other a lot."

"You have no idea, stranger, you have no idea," Mabel laughed. "Sorry, what was your name again?"

💥

Meanwhile, deep inside the mystery shack, where they were sure there'd be no eavesdropping happening...

"You let the kid stay here without telling their parents?!"

Stanley was freaking out. Yet, he really shouldn't be surprised Ford would do this. Ironically, poindexter would even criticize his behavior, his grunkle methods! How ridiculous is this whole thing, huh?!

"It's more complicated than that! Look, I know this sounds bad—"

"It does!" Stan yelped, his hands clenching. "Their parents must be so worried! And we can't just let them—"

"No, no, Stanley, walk with me here," Ford said, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. "It's their parents that are the problem."

A few deep breaths from Stan. Alright, okay. This is making more sense now.

"We'll take them to their house first thing in the morning," Ford explained. "Let's see what we'll do from there."

🔥

"I hope my drawing isn't too bad," you chuckled, giving the journal back to Dipper. His eyes skimmed over your illustration of the monster you killed. "It doesn't match yours and Mabel, but..."

"Are you kidding?! It's perfect! Thank you!" Dipper beamed, writing more notes down the rest of the page.

From above, Mabel had her legs folded over the ceiling wood of the house. You looked up and made eye contact, as much as you can anyway. She's upside down.

"Hi! How old are you again?"

How did she even get up there, you wonder. You glanced around, smiling when you realized, and worked your way up.

They stared at you in awe when you climbed right next to Mabel's side. Now you're hanging upside down too. "Cool tricks, Mabel. Hope you don't mind me copying you?"

She doesn't respond, starstrucked. Glancing at Dipper, his jaw was also on the floor.

"Uhhh," you awkwardly smiled, "But I just turned sixteen! You guys are turning thirteen, right?"

"You're the coolest," Mabel whispered, dragging a hand across your face. Okay. That's a bit weird, but it's welcome.

"Thanks," you grinned, manually removing her hand from your face. You looked down at Dipper again. "Hey, Dipper, what time is it?"

He scrambled around and grabbed a watch from somewhere. "Uh, nine o' clock."

"Nine?!" your sudden outburst caused you to fall to the carpet, a pained groan leaving your lips. At least you managed to drop skillfully. "Oh, that hurt."

"Are you okay?!" Dipper rushed to your side, offering a comforting hand on your back.

"Yeah, I just," you paused. "It's nine already? My parents are gonna kill me, man. I gotta go home."

"What!!"

Mabel also dropped down from her outburst, but her landing isn't painful as yours, because you caught her in time. She gazed at you from your arms, stars forming in her eyes.

"Woah. You have fast reflexes!" she squealed as you gently put her down.

Dipper shook his head. "But you can't go home this late at night. Didn't you say you're from outside of Gravity Falls?"

You crossed your arms, pondering. "Yeah, but... Okay, wait, where's Ford?"

Footsteps followed your words. All of you turned to the doorway, seeing the older set of Pines twins. It's kind of amazing, really, you rarely saw twins and this family has two pairs.

"Oh, there you are!" you grinned, walking over to him. Ford blinked at you. "I'm sorry, dude, but I think I overstayed my welcome. I'll go ahead and—"

"Eh, nah," Stanley chimed in, earning your attention, "It's too dark for ya to go out. Let's take you home tomorrow, yeah?"

"But-"

"No butts, they're for sitting," he continued, gently pushing you down on his recliner. You sat down, albeit confused. "Think of it as a sleepover. That's fun, right kids?"

Mabel skipped to your view, an eager grin on her face. "Yeah! We can paint your nails and everything!"

"While I'll show you more of the journals," Dipper beamed, showing one of them to you.

Their ideas were nice, it truly was, but the circumstances are concerning. You couldn't help the frown forming on your lips. They all noticed.

Ford stepped in between them, kneeling and offering you a smile. "Don't worry, kiddo. We'll take good care of you 'til morning. I'm sure your parents will understand."

"I guess I can't really do anything about it," you muttered, eventually accepting the situation. You stood up with a grin. "Okay! Who wants to be unaware of me stealing cool stuff here?!"

"I do!" Mabel screamed, only to pause. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," Stan squinted, "What?"

You hummed, suddenly behind him, and stared at his wallet. Ford shook his head at you. "You have a very alarming number of IDs. Is this normal? Then again, you're old."

A laugh left Stan as he took his wallet from you. "Oh, I could use that type of skill. Didn't even hear or feel you take it!"

"I can teach you," you smiled.

"Please don't," Dipper groaned.

🌬️

"This journal is amazing! And Ford wrote this? Seriously, no wonder why he was so smart!"

You flipped the book page by page, your jaw dropped the whole time. Sure, a while ago, you saw one page, but only because Dipper told you to draw on it. You didn't expect a whole research surrounding Gravity Falls!

"Interesting enough for you to visit Gravity Falls more often?" Dipper chuckled as he watched you.

"Woah," you smiled, "You like my company that much, Dipper? Don't you have any friends here— oh shoot, wait, I didn't mean—"

A ghost of a frown spread through his face. Why did you have to ask that?! You were just projecting if you had to be honest, but still!!!

"Sorry, that was insensitive," you blurted, closing the book and focusing all your attention on him. "I only said that because I feel that way. I know, that's pretty lame."

He looked surprised. "Really? But you're so cool?"

"Some people think I'm weird is all. But thanks for finding me cool, Dip," you laughed, glancing at Mabel who was snoring. "I find you and your sister cool too. A lot, actually. So it's nice to know you both like me."

Dipper sniffed. "Man. Ditto."

You grabbed a blanket and placed it over Mabel's body, making sure she's covered head to toe. She snuggled up to it unconsciously.

"Welp, bed time," you murmured, reaching for another one. You stretched the blanket, letting Dipper be able to invite himself in. "Come on."

He happily accepted, nestling his head next to your shoulder. Mabel followed him, her head tilting to your chest.

You slept, content.

🌪️

You woke up, disturbed.

The first thing you saw after sleeping is Dipper and Mabel staring at you in silence. As soon as you noticed them, they scrambled away from you and tried to act natural.

Yet, you couldn't forget the small glimpse of their faces. Wide-eyed, a bit of judgment, but most of all, solemn.

Before you could question them, Dipper yelled, "Grunkles! They're awake!"

You winced from the volume of his voice, having just woken up. He immediately apologized to you, but it's all good.

"Visit us again soon! Byeee!"

The next thing you know, you're in the backseat of a car with Stanley next to you. He was pouting, arms crossed.

"This is literally my car. I can't believe it! You won't even let me drive my own car?" he sneered at Ford who sat on the driver's seat.

Ford rolled his eyes. "I can't have you get in trouble by driving again. Think of the kid."

While driving to your address is certainly much faster than walking, it still took a while. You managed to fall asleep, tilting your head on Stan's shoulder. It seemed that you're not alone in being unconscious, because he snored loudly.

Glancing at the mirror, Ford simply exhaled.

You're here.

He parked in front of your house.

Ford nudged Stan awake, who poked you awake next.

You stood up drowsily, holding Stan's hand while walking up to your house. Ford took the lead and knocked on your front door.

To both grunkles' disappointment, things get messy.

Both your parents, drunk, loudly told them off and took you away roughly from Stan. Tears leaked out of your eyes, saying countless apologies to the Pines twins and your parents.

Without much of a fight, Ford forcibly grabbed you back, carrying your body with one arm. He looked at Stan who placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Psst, I'll handle this," Stanley murmured in the midst of your father yapping nonsense. Maybe the professional con-man can knock some sense into your deadbeat parents.

Ford took you back to the car. You sobbed relentlessly, whispering the most saddening things he wished to unhear. He hugged you tightly, muttering sweet nothings until you fell asleep.

After a long while, Stan finally came back.

His eyes were wide. He was shaking.

"I didn't mean to. They started it—I had no choice!"

Gazing down, Ford realized Stan's hands were covered in blood. He swallowed the thickness in his throat.

"...I'll help you clean it up."

[chamiryokuroi]

Gonna take a moment to talk about one of the things I have noticed artist sometimes do not take into consideration when doing illustrations.

Values.

Because it is something I too had issues with at first but I am slowly getting better at and I feel like sharing this knowledge with you all.

Let’s take this WIP I am currently working on. This is the very first sketch, is messy, is nowhere the final product, but it is the final composition of the piece so I started thinking about the colors.

Very basic idea, Green/Red opposite colors on the color wheel make a very visually appealing color palette, and yet it doesn’t look right to me.

So I screen shot it, and edited it to mono colors, aka black and white, since it allows you to see values easily. FYI Value is nothing more than how light or dark a color appears.

And I can immediately see the issue. Tim and Bernard are in the foreground, yet their values are too similar to the background, so they get lost. And even tho Darla is the main focal point of the piece, I do not want Tim and Bern to just be lost, how do we fix it? Simple, we can either darken them or the background to ensure the difference between both is obvious.

So in this next pass I have darken them considerably, and it does looks better, but we can push it a bit further to ensure nothing get lost anywhere.

Ah rim light, my favorite tool to ensure something pops against the background. Now this? This looks great. Darla is still the center, being the lighter part of the composition, but Tim and Bernard are still visible and do not get lost in the background. Your eyes will first fall on Darla and then move into the other part of the illust, as I want it to do.

If we compare it side to side you can see how with just a few changes it looks way better, and it takes just a few minutes and some screen shots for you to achieve better values for your pieces.

This was a very short art advice from me to you, I am in no way a professional artist but hey any help is good right? 🫡

[theflyingkipper]

A redo of my Edwards Exploit drawing from ages ago, now in traditional mixed media!

I felt like I didn't capture the mood I wanted last time when I looked it over again (to the horror of everyone who got to see this early. Thank you for gassing up the old one, and keeping me motivated through the making of this)

this version is much more directly studied off the Peter and Gunvor Edwards' illustration, because I've grown into the opinion that the model adaptation of exploit was really weak (technical limitations!!! what a shame) and i want to get back into studying these illustrations, there's a lot to pick apart in them.

Here's a bunch of perspective lines i drew over it when I was sketching. (I don't normally do that when I redraw, but that's usually because I'm drawing from model era screencaps and I can rely on those being proportional, most of the time) Edwards face breaks perspective here just a bit to add more drama to the scene, everything else is proportional.

some in-progress pictures, during which I absolutely HATED how it looked and wanted to switch to digital because I feared I'd messed it up irreconcilably 😭 good thing I was able to look at it with fresh eyes after staring at it for like four hours, the first session of drawing ended at 1am. Believe me, if you hate how your drawing is turning out, put it down and come back to it later!!

Edward is also more referenced off a real K2 here because I really like how they look. Unfortunately they have painful geometry.

something frustrating about my traditional drawings is how they can't be viewed from multiple angles online. I use silver gel pen to highlight some parts (here it's Edward's handrails and the damage) but it doesn't show up well when I photograph it head on. I hope this picture shows a little bit of how it shows up in real life!

(if you can't see, look at the bottom of Edward's boiler bands)

Hopefully you enjoyed reading under the cut :] I like explaining my process and I appreciate it immensely when someone shares my enthusiasm for it.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media

hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.

for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.

so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.

now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.

the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.

(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)

listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!

I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.

and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!

I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!

like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

If you ever doubt it when I complain about having no shelf space for books... This is right next to my bed

[ineffable-xenanigans]

Ineffable divorce and engagement in two Spanish poems

I was inspired by this week's GOetry Monday prompt by @isiaiowin, in which the word was speechless and the form was a décima espinela (a traditionally Spanish 10-line poem with 8 syllables per line and the following rhyming scheme: ABBA ACCDDC).

Oh, and the poems came to me in the language in question (don't worry, I added English translations further down):

Esta tierra es un infierno; arrepiento confesarme desde el día en que mi ángel me abandonó por el cielo.

Una existencia fingiendo que lo nuestro no era amor. Fuimos un grupo de dos, nada dura para siempre, le deseé buena suerte, no cantaba un ruiseñor.

—

Me dijo al arrodillarse y proponer matrimonio: “para un ángel y un demonio nunca es demasiado tarde”.

Ahora me hallo delante de sus dos manos que aman, de sus dos labios que hablan, de sus dos ojos angélicos, de los anillos tan célicos que me dejan sin palabras.

———

This is Hell on Earth; I regret my confession ever since the day my angel abandoned me for Heaven.

A whole existence pretending that what we had wasn’t love. We were a group of the two of us, nothing lasts forever, I wished him good luck, no nightingales sang.

—

He said as he knelt and asked me to marry him: “for an angel and a demon it is never too late”.

Now I find myself in front of his two loving hands, of his two speaking lips, of his two angelic eyes, of the celestial rings that have left me speechless.

————————————

I'd like to gush here for a second about one of my favorite features of Spanish-language poetry, which has to do with the way we count the number of "poetic syllables" in a line.

Basically, we look at the last word in the line.

If the stress falls on the last syllable of that word, we add 1 to the syllable count.

If the stress falls on the second to last syllable, we don't change the syllable count.

If the stress falls on the third to last syllable, we subtract 1 from the syllable count.

There's more that goes into how we count poetic syllables (Wikipedia has a decent summary), but I love this particular feature so much that I made sure to include examples of all 3 cases:

+1 (stress on the last syllable): the lines ending in amor/dos/ruiseñor

±0 (stress on the second to last syllable): most other lines (since most Spanish words have this stress pattern)

-1 (stress on the third to last syllable): the lines ending in angélico/célico

————————————

Oh, and I had a lot of fun making this illustration of their engagement rings. Aziraphale's is yellow gold with feather carvings, and Crowley's is white gold with scale carvings. The gemstones are sapphire and ruby respectively (did you know they are basically the same thing?), and are cut in a half-moon design, so that their rings fit together just like they do 💜

[belovedstill]

svsss 10th anniversary snippets ◀ [ 2/7 ] ▶

If there was one thing the original goods could do well, it was painting.

He was, of course, also well-versed in subterfuge, angry hatred, and attracting 'scheming bastard!' flags left and right. And in making the Sect Leader look like a kicked dog. And in raising everybody's blood pressure. And in avoiding any shred of human kindness. And in—

Anyway. He was good in many things that currently don't serve Shen Qingqiu well, but at least his muscles remembering the movements and amount of pressure to put on a paintbrush for quality paintwork is quite neat!

In his past life, Shen Yuan couldn't draw for shit. His only genuine attempt at an illustration for his then-5-year-old sister's favourite fairy tale was met with frightened sobbing and countless nights spent sharing his bed with her whenever she woke up from yet another nightmare induced by his terrible scribbles. (In his defense, the monster terrorising the town was the coolest thing in that story.)

Having his disciples ohh and ahh at the simple scrolls he paints is quite the difference from terrified tears. If you ask him, he quite enjoys it! The best thing about being able to draw well, though, is getting to finally draw his own fanart—

"What's Shizun painting?"

—away from where anybody can see!

He very gracefully slams his hand over the scroll, completely intentionally smudging the dash of diluted red ink he's just applied to the smiling lips of the pained Luo Binghe as his husband looks over his shoulder. He hasn't even heard him come in!

"Is that...?"

"No," Shen Qingqiu says immediately and for a good measure flips the page over. The small bowl with red ink topples over and spills.

Binghe's breath hitches next to his ear.

Despite being the Peak Lord of the Qing Jing Peak, or maybe exactly because of it, Shen Qingqiu has always been aware that scroll paper is a finite resource and shouldn't be wasted. That's why when he draws in private he uses up every blank spot. The other side of the painting is filled with countless sketches of Luo Binghe in various poses and states of undress. Sleeping. Cooking. Fighting. Commanding. With a laugh on his lips, or tears in his eyes, or suggestive tension rising in the arch of his eyebrows.

"Shizun..."

Shen Qingqiu slowly reaches for his fan, unfolds it, and presses his entire face against it.

Binghe lays his gentle hands on Shen Qingqiu's tense shoulders and presses his forehead against his temple.

"Is this how Husband sees me?"

Any answer would be damning! No, this husband does not see Luo Binghe, the man above all men, as a mess of rough, imperfect, rushed lines! Yes, he does look close enough to commit every minor detail to memory! Anybody would!

For some reason, that final thought settles heavily in his stomach. He turns his head slightly, so his forehead rests against Binghe's.

"Mn."

"Does he, really?" There's a teasing edge in Luo Binghe's voice and Shen Qingqiu knows, even with his eyes closed, that the look on his face must be truly ungodly. "Husband should look whenever he likes."

"...Mn."

"He should open his eyes and look now, too."

Not a chance! Shen Qingqiu does the only thing that ever truly distracts the tempting husband of his: he leans in and steals his lips in a kiss, and holds them captive until they yield in sweet surprised surrender.

The scroll paper gets torn, the fan forgotten aside, and both of them end up with red-ink fingerprints all over their skin.

[technicolorfamiliar]

Der Student von Prag (The Student of Prague) Dir. Henrik Galeen 1926

So I'm going back and rewatching a handful of the titles from the initial 50+ film journey into Conrad Veidt's filmography. Some I'm revisiting because they made such an indelible impression on me the first time, others because I want to give them a second chance. The Student of Prague was among the first films on what wound up being a year-long deep dive into Connie's work and history. I loved it then, but even more so now.

I want to live inside this movie. Galeen and his crew made a hell of a picture, made all the more special by Conrad Veidt doing the literal most.

There is a bewitching quality to The Student of Prague, from Conrad Veidt's dual performances as both Balduin and his Double to the atmospheric cinematography and special effects. It's a dreamy film that really sets itself apart as a dark and lovely supernatural period piece.

Despite some very minor issues, over all it's genuinely pretty perfect. It's one of those films that, even with its faults, sweeps me effortlessly into the gothically Romantic world of the story.

Maybe the film could have benefited from tighter editing, cutting some of the longer sequences and unnecessary shots. But an argument could also be made that these longer scenes aid the spell the film is casting over its audience, the way Sciapinelli weaves his spell on the hilltop to draw Balduin and Margrit together.

The cinematography by Günther Krampf and Erich Nitzschmann is really something special. Shadow was a big motif and standard tool filmmakers used back then, especially those working in the Expressionist style, but for 'Student, maybe because of the early 19th century setting and the proximity of the natural world (both real and fabricated), the use of shadow here makes the film feel more like a fairy tale illustrated by Arthur Rackham than the Uncanny Art Deco of classic German Expressionism. The digital restoration really highlights how successfully they worked with value and contrast to create such a visually rich film.

And it fucken WIMDY. The use of wind throughout the film is really effective -- Sciapinelli's coat billowing out behind him on the hilltop, the rustling foliage behind Balduin after the duel, dead leaves blown into the Countess's bedroom, and the gales that follow Balduin through the city in the film's final act. Whether used on a studio set or in location shots, wind here feels not only atmospheric but also supernatural; it's Sciapinelli's invisible presence when he's not even in the shot.

Even the relatively minimalist score works. It's mostly piano supplemented occasionally by one or two other instruments, a flute or an accordion, and there are only a handful of repeated themes. Apparently the music that's in the most recent restoration was composed only a few years ago by Stephen Horne, so it's really anyone's guess what the original soundtrack by Willy Schmidt-Gentner was like. Regardless, the new music definitely feels appropriate not only to the period the film was made but also the overall Vibes.

On my first watch about a year ago, I was struck by the special effects used in this film. For the time it was made, the effects had to be incredibly impressive. The transitions where the Double appears and disappears in a ghostly fashion are fun, but there's an especially cool shot where he appears to walk through an iron gate, and a really great close up dolly shot towards the end of the film where the Double appears to float toward the back of the room. And I don't know if this was something they touched up in post-production or if the lighting on set was chef's kiss perfect, but Connie's eyes literally glow. There are shots where his eyes, especially as the Double, are like two beacons set in the shadows.

The other performances… they're fine. I mean, everyone who wasn't playing Balduin has to have known it wasn't their movie. Except for Werner Krauss as Sciapinelli who looks like if Alfred Molina was sent back to the 1920s and did as much cocaine as he could find. He's so creature coded that I genuinely don't know what to make of his performance. Everyone else, including Connie, is kind of doing a riff on realism to varying degrees of exaggeration but still relatively tame for the era (compare the acting in 'Student to The Hands of Orlac just two years earlier). But I guess Werner Krauss didn't get the memo, or because Sciapinelli is a supernatural character it's ok for him to be a little out there. He does some really delightfully creepy and borderline upsetting stuff especially in the scene when he makes the deal with Balduin. It's all very weirdly sexual and I hate it. Otherwise, there's unfortunately very little of note in the other performances. Elizza La Porta as the flower girl does the pathetic-cute thing well, but Agnes Esterhazy's Margrit is sadly pretty forgettable.

But the Balduin of it all. This is truly a groundbreaking role for Conrad Veidt at this time in his career. I feel like this film alone slingshot him into his meatier and more interesting roles in the late 1920s. Sure, Connie was doing some interesting and versatile stuff around this time (Ingmarsarvet and Carlos & Elisabeth come to mind), but this just hits different. Everything kind of lines up perfectly for him as this character, and the story is that unique Poe-inspired blend of the uncanny and capital R Romance that really suits him. Because of the nature of the story itself, Connie's free to play big when it works for the character, but also works in these incredibly vulnerable and subtle moments as well. I don't know if this is thanks to the director being hands-on with Connie or just letting him do his thing. Whatever the case, it works.

It's maybe worth mentioning Connie was 33 when they shot this. I don’t know how old Balduin's supposed to be, but he's probably at least ten years younger than Connie was at the time. And I buy it, I buy that Balduin is a young man, foolish and naïve in the way only someone that young could be. His youthfulness isn't just suggested in the character's decisions but also in his physicality. When we first meet Balduin, Connie's doing this sulky, pouty, petulant thing that I love for him. In the first act, he's clearly beloved by his fellow-students and by the flower girl, and he easily slips out of his misery about his money problems into a more lighthearted mood. He's moody one moment and playful the next, joining in a low-stakes fencing match for fun when just moments before he was brooding alone full Morrissey style in the garden. This initial lightness about the character sets him up for his eventual inevitable hard fall into shame and helplessness.

I'm afraid to admit it took me a whole 24 hours after watching this a second time to realize that Balduin is kind of a dick. But Connie's performance is so good and so empathetic that I didn't notice right away. He himself is stunningly, Byronically beautiful in this film. He's like a painting of a tragic, Romantic hero come to life, I can’t even handle it. And, my god, the yearning! It's palpable. In the wrong hands, I would probably hate this character. I haven't seen Wegener's or Walbrook's versions, but I can't imagine they're as charismatic as Connie is in the role.

But what I love even more than Connie as Balduin is him as the Double. I am FASCINATED by this performance and this character. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. The way he consolidates his movements so that he practically glides through the frame, the way he keeps this performance distinct by slowing everything down and keeping a lot of the Double's anguish internal… it's so good.

I think we only see the Double four times before the last act of the film: first when he steps out of the mirror; much later outside the Countess's party; in the graveyard; and after he kills the Baron in the woods. Initially, when the reflection steps out of the mirror after Balduin signs Sciapinelli's contract, the Double seems pretty soulless. His dead-eyed, mask-like expression as he stalks out of the room makes it seem like he's just going to be a mindless puppet Sciapinelli can use to torment Balduin. And certainly in their first two encounters, Balduin's mirror image slinks out of the shadows as a reminder of his Faustian bargain but also as something of a stand in for his conscience. The first two times we see the Double out in the world are when Balduin is at his happiest, in his most romantic moments with Margrit, who is not only completely out of Balduin's league but also promised to someone else (even if that some one else is her cousin...). Nothing about the Double's presence in these scenes suggests that he's anything more than a phantom, a specter to haunt the protagonist from a distance.

But then, something changes. The Double isn't just a ghost that only Balduin can see; he's just as real as his counterpart, and his actions have consequences. Balduin promises Margrit's father, the Count, to spare her cousin-fiancée in a duel the Baron knows he cannot win -- Balduin is, after all, the best swordsman in Prague. They even say the fight is supposed to be with heavy sabers, which sound like they could really mess you up. But when dueling day arrives, Balduin is delayed by the wheels inexplicably coming off his carriage. He races through the countryside on foot in order to make his appointment, but it's too late. He stops dead in his tracks, frozen in fear, as the Double appears, approaching him slowly from the tree line. When the Double reaches him, Balduin sees the bloody sword and immediately recoils, fearing the worst. But what's most interesting about this scene is that, when the Double finally looks up, his expression is not that of a mindless zombie. When he looks up, the Double looks horrified. Realization slowly rises in his face, and he turns to Balduin with this look of abject horror and helplessness while Balduin cowers in fright. And as the Double turns to walk out of the clearing, he hangs is head in pained resignation and I AM OBSESSED. There are no intertitles in this sequence, but the anguished look he gives Balduin says, "Do you see now? This, and worse than this, is going to keep happening." Connie's performance in this scene suggests the Double may not be able to control his actions but he certainly has feelings about them. So does this mean the Double is in fact Balduin's soul? His goodness? His innocence? I NEED TO KNOW MORE.

The Double is also consistently dressed in the student costume Balduin wears at the beginning of the film. After Sciapinelli gives Balduin the money, Balduin buys a whole new wardrobe (honestly, who wouldn't?). But the mirror version of Balduin doesn't change to reflect Balduin as he is in the present; the Double wears the clothes of a student -- the cap, the velveteen jacket -- because he represents who Balduin was. He's the boy, the youth uncorrupted by excessive wealth and privilege, now made to do horrible things because Balduin so easily handed him over to Sciapinelli when they made their deal. UGH.

The final time Balduin sees his Double, his mirror self hounds him with measured steps, pushing him away from the fragile security of wealth and opulence back to his abandoned student flat. And the expression on the Double's face now is grimly accusatory, it's deeply solemn disappointment, it's a final judgment before an inevitable end. There's sorrow and resentment in the Double's eyes, but kept restrained and subtle, gradually building in wordless intensity until Balduin must finally face himself, literally, in order to end his torment, finding a pistol and shooting his mirror image and therefore killing himself.

Maybe a lot of the descriptors I use for Connie are hyperbole, but his work in this film is remarkable. Anyone interested in getting to know him as an actor, hell, anyone interested in film history period, absolutely should watch The Student of Prague at least once.

Final thoughts: For real, though, it would suck to not have a reflection. I recently had a whole conversation with my (straight, cis male) family members about this; not a one of them owns or even sees the need for a full length mirror. And maybe the big mirror in Balduin's student room came with the place when he moved in, but you get used to having something like that. I know it would drive me crazy not being able to check my whole outfit to make sure I don't look like a doofus before leaving the house.

[autisticlalna]

Avid, your actions have consequences.

shortly before the general chat got consumed by Vivid divorce arc...

there was some theorization about what exactly Cloneman was on about when he said OSSHA was planning to take over the server. it was kinda out of nowhere! Milkman himself cleared it up:

which tracks. rest in peace Cloneman, you had no idea what you were doing at any given time.

oh fuck it's Avid with a steel chair

Avid. Avid, no. Avid, we've talked about this.

it is blatantly obvious in the friday night lore stream that Avid is... coping. with the aftermath of the OSSHA arc. he told Yellow that he's having a crisis over everything he knew being wrong and has flipped sides into full-on Void worship, and is just generally kinda.. unstable?

he's very unconcerned with the aftermath of his actions. hell, he apparently offered to kill Clone Trog to clean up the wreckage of Avid's mistakes:

"Don't worry, I'll be nice to Clone Trog. Clone Trog... Clone Trog is obviously grieving at the moment. I did offer- I did offer to just murder Trog, it'd solve my problems. I just, you know, I said- I said to Trog, when Trog came to me, like 'aww I'm so sad, I miss my husband and my family', I'm like, 'do you want me to just murder you? I'll just murder you, and then you're gone.' and Trog- Clone Trog was like [mocking] 'I'm sentient now, oh, I have problems', like alright, jeez, I'll just-- I could solve them!"

(side note: Avid, what the fuck?)

there's another clip from the same stream of him mentioning that he wanted to kill both Clone Trog and Cloneby, but i don't have that one on hand and this one illustrates Avid's current thought process pretty well. as do his attempts to justify himself afterwards.

yeah, Avid's hoping he can get out of this one scott-free. kidnapping, tubing, and cloning his friends while under orders from an evil god is just water under the bridge, right?

not shown: The Skyblock Kingdoms Community Discord Attempts To Give Avid A Moral Compass. it does not work.

so, uh. yeah. Avid is in big trouble and he's hoping he can denial his way out of it. expect him to get hunted for sport or something

[antianakin]

Hello, I like to share this quote said by Jedi Bob in the last Lego Series which really illustrates the light and dark side, giving my opinion after that.

"The dark side is loud and obvious like a big, mean Gamorrean kicking you in the head over and over. But the light side, the light side of the Force is just a whisper in the back of your mind."

In my opinion, Jedi Bob's quote really shows about how violent and visceral the dark side could be to the person who hears it, against the gentleness of the light side but harder to hear if you don't feel balanced enough. Something that the Jedi could understand. Ignoring the loud and brutal darkness and let the light to comfort and guide them. And it's up to each person to decide which sound to follow. What do you think about this quote?

I don't hate it, I can kind-of see what it's getting at here, but it's not quite how I see the Force working.

I also don't really love "the light side" as a thing, it didn't used to exist in Star Wars at all when Lucas was in charge, and I think it's confused some of what the worldbuilding of Star Wars actually is. Balance and "the light side" are, in effect, the exact same thing. So I don't think that "the light side" LEADS to balance, that's not how it works. Darkness is a thing and it's always there, in everyone and everything, but balance isn't "light," it's just choosing to acknowledge darkness and reject it. That's what balance IS.

So I don't see "the light side" as a whisper, because balance is a CHOICE, it's active. Things happen to you that are outside of your control, but how you choose to react to them is up to you. Your ability to remain balanced and reject darkness in yourself will always have to be your own choice to make. Balance is about standing firm on the stormiest seas or planting your feet against the strongest winds. That's not a whisper at all, that's a very strong, loud, intentional choice that you make in the face of everyone and everything trying to tear you down.

Balance is Obi-Wan living through the death and destruction of everyone and everything he knows and loves and remaining kind and compassionate afterwards. Balance is living in isolation in the desert for twenty years and surviving on pure hope and faith in a better future.

Whereas darkness can often creep up on you. It's temptation. It's that little whisper in your head that tells you that it's okay to let yourself be selfish just this once, it's the voice that convinces you that you're doing the right thing even if it hurts people. Darkness is the desire for just one more every time.

Darkness is Palpatine quietly dripping poison into Anakin's ears for a decade, slowly driving a wedge between Anakin and the Jedi, eroding Anakin's compassion bit by bit and encouraging his selfish tendencies, convincing him each time that it was for the best no matter what the consequences were and surely doing it just once more couldn't hurt.

As Yoda tells Luke, using the dark side is easier and faster, but it is NOT stronger than using the Force the way it's intended to be used. Using the dark side is like building a house that isn't up to safety codes and so the first time a storm hits, everything falls apart. You got a house a lot faster and with a lot less effort, sure, but it was pretty weak in the long run and now you don't have a house anymore. Whereas if you'd taken the time to give the house a strong foundation and put the energy into making it safe, it would've stayed standing during that storm. Maybe it would've taken a little damage, but it wouldn't be GONE.

This metaphor seems to be more about what darkness and balance look like from the OUTSIDE, perhaps, but not the reality of them. The dark side (and the people who use it) can maybe look big and strong and loud, while balance (and those who achieve it) is perhaps less obvious and seems weaker because it doesn't always show immediate results. But the reality is, in fact, the exact opposite. Darkness doesn't just come in and kick you in the head once and now you're a bad guy; it comes up slowly day by day, choice by choice, until everything you used to be, everything you once loved, is gone. And balance might not give immediate results and it might seem weaker at the beginning, but it will stand the test of time and hold firm against whatever tries to break it down.

[bananabreadcaramel-4]

Disclaimer: this isn't a jab at Tonny and I do understand that he is a complex character that is neither entirely evil nor good.

!!Might contain minor spoilers to episode 57!!

Anyways, I believe the author of Marionetta to be very intentional with what she illustrates and how she portrays her characters, including their actions. With that in mind, there must have been more to that part where Sahed was contained in a cage for two months. There have been plenty of discussions revolving around that and why Tonny would do something like that, given Sahed's history. While his excuse was that Sahed was dangerous and that he wasn't sure what to do with him, I think the author is giving us early signs or red flags.

Regarding that, I'll share two potential reasons:

He might be covertly racist, but at a very subconscious level.

So far, we have seen the overt racism of the citizens, soldiers and how Julia was at the beginning. Then the covert form which was Dottys comments. While Tonny isn't necessarily like the two given examples, he might have some lingering biases which can be shown in his interactions with Sahed, and his biases might be so subconscious that he doesn't notice them. Someone like Tonny might have been marinating in a lot of negative narratives about the ah'kon and it can be difficult to get it completely out of your system or notice the subtle differences in treatment and attitude towards them compared to Kalgratti people. Why wont he treat Rainah like that then? Typically, men of colour are seen as more aggressive, hypersexual and violent, and perhaps Tonny, and some of the other circus members (I'm looking at you Dotty) feel like he needs to be tamed and contained- like an animal or a beast. And perhaps those sentiments are also further fueled by something Sahed did in the past that might have made his relationship with Tonny rocky.

2. He might feel threatened or have an inferiority complex.

During the confrontation of episode 9, Tonny emphasized that he was the leader and that only he could decide who could enter or leave the circus. Then Sahed threatened that his position could be taken. Tonny doesn't feel like he is in control of his life, is under a lot of pressure and may, as a result, lead the circus carefully, in fear of everything he built crumbling. Someone like Sahed or Julia might threaten his control and, again, he might try to contain them.

Regarding inferiority complex, he probably doesn't feel adequate as a leader. He might have made a lot of promises to Sahed in the past which weren't met, or maybe he even got involved with Steinheimer. Now Saheds resentment and presence might be a constant reminder that he isn't that great of a leader. This could make him resent Sahed back as a result and thus his actions.

This is a minor and not well thought out idea lacking backing, but what if he also feels slightly inferior as a man??? Kalgratt being a patriarchal society, they probably have standards for what an "ideal man" should be like, similar to episode 59. While Tonny and the circus members do a good job at dismantling gender norms within the circus, perhaps Tonny has some lingering ingrained beliefs about masculinity that are also subconscious. Take for example, both him and Sahed are pining after Julia, and perhaps he feels like he isn't "manly" enough, since he is shy and isn't bold or aggressive in his pursuit. Take episode 57 as an example when he tries to use the "Saheds grab technique". Maybe it clicked for him (in episode 49 maybe?) that Julia is interested in Sahed. Though I don't think this is some kind of "team Jacob vs team Edward" setting where they are both competing for Julia.

What a long post. I've got some other theories and head canons that aren't relevant to this topic and will probably make other posts about.

[mrs-stans]

Sebastian Stan’s Crash Course in Becoming Trump

After a long tour of duty in the Marvel universe, the Romanian-born actor is conquering the festival circuit, with starring roles in “The Apprentice” and “A Different Man.”

Illustration by João Fazenda

By Alex Barasch

The actor Sebastian Stan glanced approvingly at the neon signage and old-school menus at the Pearl Diner, in the financial district, the other day. He’s lived in and near New York since he was twelve—around the time Donald Trump swapped his first wife, Ivana, for Marla Maples—and has watched the city evolve. “It’s funny. It’s changed, but it’s also the same buildings,” he said. “And then you’re, like, ‘The buildings are there, but you are not the same.’ ”

Stan took off a white ball cap and ordered coffee with cream; he was jet-lagged, fresh from the Deauville American Film Festival, where he’d received the Hollywood Rising-Star Award. “Rising” is a stretch for the forty-two-year-old, who’s appeared in a dozen Marvel projects, but Stan has lately reached a different echelon. In May, he went to Cannes for “The Apprentice,” in which he plays seventies-era Trump. In Berlin, he’d won the Silver Bear, an award whose previous recipients include Denzel Washington and Paul Newman. “Everyone was, like, ‘Oh, the Silver Bear!’ ” Stan said. “Then you go back and you’re, like, ‘Do we know what the Silver Bear is in America?’ ”

The prize was for his role in “A Different Man,” Aaron Schimberg’s surreal black comedy, which nods to “Cyrano de Bergerac.” Stan stars as a man whose lifelong disfigurement is miraculously reversed; the shoot included a grisly three-and-a-half-hour session spent peeling off chunks of his face.

“The Apprentice” demanded a transformation of a different sort. At the diner, Stan pulled out his phone and swiped through an album labelled “DT physicality”—a hundred and thirty videos of Trump, which capture his tiniest gestures and his over-all mien. Marinating in Trump content was, Stan said cheerfully, “a psychotic experience.” He watched the clips so many times that when the director, Ali Abbasi, asked him to improvise in a scene about marketing Trump Tower, he could rattle off the stats: sixty-eight stories of marble in a peachy hue chosen by Ivana, because, as the real Trump put it in a promo, “people feel they look better in the pink.” (It turned out that he’d also memorized Trump’s lie: the tower is actually fifty-eight floors.)

Growing up in Communist Romania, Stan had just an hour of TV news each night; New Year’s Eve was an event because it meant twelve hours of programming. His instinct for mimicry—he had a habit of imitating family members and neighbors—was the earliest tell that he might be an actor. After he and his mother fled to Vienna, in 1989, Stan got his first credit, in a Michael Haneke film—an experience that nearly put him off show business. “I stood in line with, like, a thousand kids, for I don’t know how many hours—which I hated,” he said. “If I could fucking meet Haneke now, it would be amazing!”

When the family moved again, to America, he experienced pop-culture shock. He binged every movie he’d missed—from “Back to the Future” to “Ace Ventura”—in a pal’s basement. Another friend roped him into the school play. “My high school was really, really small, so I didn’t have a lot of competition,” Stan said. “They were, like, ‘Please be in the play!’ ” Soon he was playing Cyrano himself.

After stints on Broadway, and on “Gossip Girl,” Stan was scooped up by Marvel. “I’ve been lucky to play a character for fifteen years,” he said. The blockbuster paychecks freed him up to explore edgier material. “I, Tonya,” in which he played the ice-skater Tonya Harding’s dirtbag husband, was a turning point. “It allowed me to see that a good director will bring out more in you than you can,” Stan said. It was also his first time portraying a real person—a feat that he repeated in “Pam & Tommy,” as the Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, and now in “The Apprentice.”

“It’s like learning a piece of music,” Stan said, of nailing an impression. “You’ve got to start out slow—it requires practice. Suddenly, you’re getting it more. You’re still making mistakes—but you’re playing the music. You’re playing the music every day until you can do it in your sleep. That’s when the fun starts.” He sliced the air for emphasis, then caught himself and grinned. “And sometimes it’s months later at a diner, and you’re, like, ‘Why am I doing that with my hands?’ ”

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem