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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 7 months

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 3: Thumb War Part 1

~Downtown Swellview, in backstreet alley~

Oh, (y/n) loved this job. Some women got to jet all over the world and drink cocktails for a living, which genuinely happened to this one girl she knew in college - Melanie something or other. Yeah, good old Mel got to spend her evenings in Bora Bora watching the sunset, others got to relax in their penthouse suites after a gruelling day in court as a sleek, successful lawyer, whose biggest worry is what to order at the five-star restaurant they dine at every night.

(y/n)'s nights were different. There was no sunset, the concrete jungle took care of that by hiding the horizon. She certainly wasn't being wined and dined with filet mignon and a Bordeaux, no, she and Ray didn't have that kind of money. What they did have was emergencies coming out of their ears because as usual, the criminals didn't come to Captain Man and co, they went to them.

That's how they'd ended up in one of the grottiest, grossest areas in all of Swellview--and believe me, Swellview had quite a few. It was dark, duh, because there could never be a crime on a nice, sunny day in one of the posh estates, and there was no one around--the perfect place for a nice robbery or murder. Yeah, their criminal had decided to make a shady backstreet carlot his digs, but whatever, they'd been in worse spots.

And the guy wasn't even that big of a deal. Sure, he was a pain in the ass, but whatever criminal wasn't? Stainless Steve was hardly gonna go down as the world's greatest mastermind, rather the wackiest. His entire get-up made him look like an oven-ready turkey--all wrapped up in aluminium clothing. Steel shoes, steel-lined, foil clothing, dyed silver hair with added shiny highlights and gloves with iron knuckledusters under the metallic padding.

He looked weird, really weird, but no matter how tough he thought he was, beating him up was a walk in the park for Captain Man and Miss Danger tag-teamed him, with the kid watching on the sidelines. A few punches from the hero here, a couple of kicks from the heroine there and Steve was getting tired. It wasn't glamorous by any means but god, she loved this job.

Ray grunted as he sucker-punched the metal man across his cheeks, making him collapse onto his knees as his face stung from the impact. Captain Man's strength was living up to its name, but the worse was yet to come. As he knelt, defeated on the ground but just gathering his energy to give the smirk hero a taste of his own medicine, (y/n) swooped in with a sharp kick to the chest, metal boot hitting metal jacket, and Steve stayed down. Probably a wise choice to stay there and wheeze as Ray grinned and pecked at his girl's lips for being so goddamn hot.

"You wanna tag in, kid?" The man asked his other sidekick as he pulled away from his blushing finacée so Henry could get some action. They'd been doing all the heavy lifting for the last ten minutes, wanting to do some couple fighting since they bounced off how hot the other was when throwing fists, but now, the kid looked like he was itching to do something useful. So, they elected to take a break as he was doing now, after all, a mid-battle kiss and cuddle wasn't so bad, was it?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! You work on this sandwich, I'll work on Stainless Steve!" Henry garbled through a mouthful of PB and J. A mid-battle snack wasn't so bad either and Ray was endlessly hungry so he didn't mind splitting it with the kid, who was already springing to his feet at the opportunity of going to pound town on this clown.

"Deal. We'll munch, you punch." Ray grinned as they high-fived on the way past, Ray snatching the half-eaten sandwich as he guided (y/n) over to an oil drum. He could perch her on his knee and lavish his attention on her with kisses, sweet words and soft touches whilst his other sidekick burnt off some steam. And he got an evening morsel--win-win.

"I'd much rather work on you, Captain..." The woman teased her lover as Ray took a seat, causing his smirk to grow even wider. She too sat down, feeling emboldened under his dark gaze and how eating the sandwich was the last thing on his mind when he had an angel tempting him in ways that shouldn't have been possible. Perhaps he had to keep an eye on Henry too, but that didn't mean he could multitask. Kid, sandwich, hot future wife, he could do that.

"I'm gonna wreck you, Kid Danger," Steve growled as he slowly stood up, his chest and face still aching from the couple's assault, but he was less concerned about them. Sure, Captain Man and his girlfriend or whatever she was these days could take him but now it was just him versus a skinny, pathetic child. What could go wrong?

"Yeah, I don't think so, Steve. I have super-fast reflexes, so don't even try--" Henry chuckled with his boss at how cocky the villain was. He was the one with the superpower, he could move super-fast, no one else, Steve was fighting a losing battle, at least that's what they all thought. So, when the metal man backhanded the kid across the face before he could even finish his sentence, it came as quite a shock. Who was the cocky one now?

"Oh! Nice shot, Steve!" Ray exclaimed, shooting up from the oil drum so quickly that (y/n) nearly lost her balance. What gives? She was pulling out all of her best moves; fluttering eyelashes, big, doe eyes, innocent kisses to his cheek that then drifted to his jaw or lips, she wanted to seduce him and yet he was now preoccupied with how much Henry was sucking and that damn sandwich. Huh...rude.

"Don't compliment the criminal!" (y/n) snapped at her stupid doofus, who pouted when she took a speedy bite out of the PB and J to ruffle his feathers. Normally, the girl wasn't in the habit of sharing one snack between herself and two others but if she wasn't gonna get any kisses then she might as well do something else, and her sulking made Ray smile. He couldn't wait to take her home.

"Okay, you know what? That's it." Henry grumbled, having had enough toying with the guy, he just needed to let off some steam. No one punched Kid Danger, made him look like an idiot and got away to tell the tale. Looking over his shoulder, the teen whacked Stainless Steve repeatedly in the nose, his hands moving so fast that they became a red and blue blur. And Ray was loving it, his little movements and shimmies in time with every beat were so adorable as he watched his youngest sidekick beat the crap out of the guy, fists thumping against the metal but never tiring.

Henry gripped the criminal's jacket as his punches jackhammered the man's face, spreading pain throughout his nose until the guy couldn't take it anymore. His eyes rolled back and the kid knew he was done, so he relented to catch his breath and to watch Steve go floppy in unconsciousness.

"Careful, don't fall." He warned him breathlessly, even though he knew that the man was out for the count and couldn't hear him even if he wanted to, so it was no surprise when he fell back onto the ground with a scraping thud. "Aw, you forgot to be careful..."

"Hey, nice job, K-D!" (y/n) grinned at the boy, strolling over to his side to share a fist bump with him since he'd pulled some pretty sick moves there. She never tired of seeing his lightning reflexes in action, just like he never tired of seeing all of her bruises disappear in under ten seconds.

God, he wished he had that, his knuckles seriously needing icing, but that would have to wait until they got back to the Man Cave and he dreaded hearing Ray's complaints about how he wanted his fiancée all to himself after taking down one of the most irritating criminals in the city. Still, what needed to be done had to be done and his hands were sore.

"Thanks, Miss Danger," he grinned at the woman as his tender knuckles met her healed ones before he turned to Ray, who was still munching the sandwich, "okay, let's call the cops and have them come pick up this--yo! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch out! Wath out!"

"Holy shit, turn around, doofus!" But suddenly, there was no option for going back to the Man Cave. The hero stood there obliviously as his sidekicks watched in horror at how a Mini Cooper hurtled towards him in reverse. They had no time to react to how random it was, just that Ray was standing there eating like nothing was wrong because he was completely unaware that he was about to be flattened, and as usual, he thought their warning meant nothing. What a doofus.

"Watch out for what?" He asked in confusion but there was no urgency or worry in his voice and neither was he in a rush to do what they said. The danger was over, they'd caught the bad guy, kicked his ass and now, it was time for them to relax. All this hurrying wasn't his style, not when he had a half-decent sandwich in his hand and his eyes on the most beautiful woman in the world. Who'd want to turn their back on her?

"Just turn around, please!"

"Doofus, for the love of God, just turn around! Please, if you love me, turn around!" The boy and woman pleaded with him, wanting to avert disaster before it struck. Of course, it wasn't as if Ray would die or be seriously injured if he got hit, his indestructibility would protect him but that still didn't make it okay to just stand back and watch. He was their friend, boss, lover, and brother from another mother, whatever their connection, they cared about him and seeing him be run over by a tiny yet powerful British car made them cringe. If only he'd listen.

"Sweet girl, you know I can't take my eyes off you. I'm not losing the sight of you standing there, looking all pretty for you, the kid or anybody..." Oh, god. Should she melt or punch him for being a lovable idiot?

"Move out of the way! We're not joking, dude!"

"I can't hear you, there's like a car coming or--" Too late. Oh well, at least Henry and (y/n) could say that they tried to save him, and it was Ray's fault that he was catapulted halfway across the parking lot when the Mini backed into him. To be fair, if it wasn't her beloved moron, the woman probably would've laughed at how comical it was to see a huge man fly through the air screaming, only to land on the concrete with a small squeak. However, when that squeak had such a familiar groan following it, all her heart could do was tense in worry.

"Oh my god!" She shrieked and ran after him, Henry quickly on her tail as tears sprung in her eyes, although they'd never fall. Now was not the time for sentiment, now was the time to make sure that he was okay--and he was. Captain Man is always okay if a little embarrassed.

"Dude, you all right?" Henry panted as they skidded to the spot where Ray had finally stopped rolling. He was moaning and groaning, perhaps a little delirious from the pain of a fall and blunt force trauma that would kill anyone else, but apart from that, he was still dumb old Ray.

"Yeah, I'm o...okay!" The hero groaned as the pain fizzled out and his vision cleared from the blurriness, bringing his friend and sweet girl back into focus. Aw, she did look all pretty tonight and the only thing that marred her exquisite features was the worry etched across her face from how he stumbled over his words. Well, he'd sooner put an end to that.

"Are you sure, doofus? How are you feeling?" (y/n) asked as she knelt to brush the back of her fingers across his forehead, which was slightly clammy and sticky from the fight and impact but she knew that that dopey look on his face wasn't due to a concussion, neither was her grabbing her hand to squeeze through the pain. He was on manoeuvres.

"Like I'm on cloud nine when I look at you, baby," Ray replied with a toothy grin, making her face burn as Henry groaned. Great, he got all concerned for nothing when in reality, his boss was just gonna use this as an excuse to have a nurse tonight--and he did not want to see or hear that.

"Oh, god. He's fine!" Henry argued, knowing that whilst some doctors might think the man was on some pretty strong hallucinogenic painkillers or something, the reality was that his brain was like that twenty-four-seven.

"I think I might need a kiss to make it better..." was his tongue-in-cheek reply. Oh, the gall of this guy. Whilst (y/n) laughed, Henry wrinkled his nose and turned his back, bored at how with every passing day, with every step closer they got to finally tying the knot, they got touchier and grosser.

He refused to look as the girl bent to seal their lips together, the sweetest medicine Ray could've received and suddenly, the residual pain faded away and in its place, a burst of energy arrived. Call it energy or desire but Ray quickly felt the need to return home as he sat up in that dimly lit parking lot, following her lips as she pulled away after a minute. If they were at home, he could pull her to a private corner or pull her back down for more but it was cold and open here, not the place for him to go in a second time.

"Later, doofus. We still need to deal with Stainless Steve." (y/n) reminded him as she sat back on her haunches before straightening to her full height. She wouldn't mind playing nurse and indulging him when then they were safely back at the Man Cave, just not when they had work to do first. All that needed doing was getting Steve to jail and then they could revert to their normal lives. Duty first, pleasure second, that's how it went for them.

"Ugh, fine! Let's call the cops on this bozo, they can deal with him." Ray conceded, agreeing that they couldn't have another blood bank incident where they leave the criminal to return to his devices. They began to stroll back to the spot where Steve had been lying, but things weren't as they had left them.

Their criminal was gone, no longer on the ground where Henry had dropped him and in his place, there was a camera crew and that pretty young reporter from KLVY News. Huh. Odd. The news must've gotten wind of what they were up to because they hadn't made the call and no one was around to witness the fighting occurring. Very strange, indeed.

"Uh, guys. Why are they here?" (y/n) asked her doofus and friend as their relaxed stroll picked up into a brisk pace. She thought she'd heard voices earlier but she'd just put it down to kids or some low-level criminals hanging around in the shadows; not once had she expected it to be a camera crew ready for an interview. Okay, that was fine, she could do an interview, it wasn't like she was the sole speaker and they didn't frighten her as they once did. No, this was weird but fine, just another factor in a normal night for them.

"They're probably here to interview us, sweetheart, y'know, 'cause we're superheroes. Come on..." Ray grinned at the thought of being in the limelight and basking in the glory that came with yet another successful takedown of a pesky criminal who blighted the city. He'd take the lion's share of the camera and fame and (y/n) was fine with that; whatever was left could go to Henry because her idea of hell was performing in front of the nation as they scrutinised her every move.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need to tell them about the fight!" Henry grinned and sped up into a jog with the couple so they could catch the woman and her crew before they left the scene. This was as close as he'd get to being thanked for what he did, so he took every opportunity to let the praise wash over him, even if Henry Hart would never be thanked or acknowledged.

And so, they skidded to a halt in front of the camera and a frankly stunned reporter, panting from the sudden exercise but they'd made it and that's all that mattered. But what was odd was that the woman didn't look happy to see them, more surprised or dare (y/n) guess...disgusted, uninterested? That was new.

"Hey! Hey! What's up?!"

"What's going on? We're here!" The boys rambled as they swiftly smoothed their hair and painted their best smiles on their faces as they stared down the lens of the camera. Miss Danger settled for just standing there with a soft smile on her face; they could do all the talking because she guaranteed that their words would be infinitely better than whatever she could come up with.

"Are we on the news?"

"Are we live right now?"

"Yes!" Well, that answered those questions. Without even batting an eyelid, the reporter pushed her shock to the back of her mind and tightened her smile, moving on like the interruption was a mere bump in the road for her. Three superheroes coming out of nowhere and crashing her report? That was nothing and she quickly accommodated them, including them because after what she'd just witnessed, she'd love to get their reaction.

"As you can see, I am now with Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger." She grinned into the camera, pausing to look at the heroes in turn as they lined up, Ray subtly taking his sweet girl's hand to remind her that he was there. Like he always said when she worried about being on TV, it wasn't something to stress about, only a chance for them to revel in their excellence--y'know, the usual bigheaded crap that she only tolerated from him.

"So...what's up?"

"Huh, what's up? What do you mean?"

"What's up with you? What do you mean?" The question came as a surprise for the trio because it was so basic and generic, not the usual snappy ones they got, which were all about finding out the who, when and why.

"What do you want?" Okay, then... This had suddenly gotten very awkward. They were heroes, they'd just defeated a bad guy and a news crew had turned up. What did she think they wanted?

"Well, I figured you'd wanna interview us about Stainless Steve and uh, the people of Swellview might wanna know that the city is safe once again..." Ray replied, smirking as he inclined his head towards the presumably grateful audience at home, but that was when something became very apparent to his sidekicks. Something was lacking, something missing and it was kind of a problem.

"Uh, dude, dude, dude, dude!"

"....thanks to us, so you're welcome--what, what, what?! You're not seeing me on the news?!" Ray snapped as Henry and (y/n) prodded his arm, vying for his attention so they could point out their problem. It was rather important, so even if he got pissed at them, not that he would over such a trivial thing, they did it anyway.

"Uh, Captain, Stainless Steve is gone."

"What?" Ray gawped at his girl's face before taking a look around. She was right too; Steve was gone, vanished, stolen, whatever, he wasn't in the spot where they'd left him. What the--- did they miss something? They'd only been gone a second and in that time, their man had done a runner right before they could slap the cuffs on him.

"Where'd Stainless Steve go?" Ray stuttered, looking just as lost as his sidekicks because they could swear that he was out for the count when he'd been rammed by that rogue car, Great, that was them not going home tonight, it looks like they were off on a search for the metal man, but strangely, the reporter had all the answers.

"He was captured by The Thumb Buddies!" She told them, changing her voice at the end to sound proud and dramatic, but she wasn't making any sense to the three. The what? Seriously, had they missed something? Was she saying that somebody else had stolen their win?

"What?"

"I'm so sorry, what did you say?" Ray and Henry stuttered as they tried to understand what she was telling them. Not being praised and showered with gratitude was like a slap to the face and Ray found himself needing the support from holding his girl's hand, not the other way around, because what the hell?

"You sound like you said somebodys. Did you say somebody's?"

"We captured Stainless Steve--I don't know what she's saying, I'm just trying to explain to her that they and I captured Stainless Steve..."

"Yeah, I don't think she's listening." (y/n) stopped the boys' ramblings as she caught sight of the woman's glazed, empty stare and how she had that expression on her face that only came with experience. Y'know, that expression you develop after dealing with men for most of your adult life; the nod-and-pretend-you're-listening face for when they keep talking and won't shut up. Most journalists have them and this one was just waiting for the heroes to let her return to work.

"Thank you. I'm Kimberly Cross, crossing off." Ray, Henry and (y/n) were left stunned as the woman spoke loudly over their explanations and excuses before tootling off, taking her mic and cameraman with her and leaving them to stand there in confusion.

"Where are you going? Are you done?"

"That's not the end of the interview, is it? 'Cause I had more to say, he was talking and I was talking and--oh, hey, I found the sandwich!" And as the reporter climbed into her news van and drove off, Ray soon found himself with a lot of questions; where had their guy gone and who had stolen the limelight?

"No, dirty!" (y/n) growled as she watched her lover lunge for the remnants of the sandwich he'd dropped after being hit by the car, which she suspected had belonged to the guys who'd snatched their arrest. It had fallen in the mud after that, with one side of the crisp, white bread now stained black and there was no way she was gonna kiss him if he ate something off the ground. God, was it worth it?

"Aw..." Jeez, it wasn't Ray's night tonight. No capture, no thanks and now, no sandwich. At least he had home to look forward to, after all, that concussion might just make a return the moment he stepped foot in his bedroom. He only hoped that there was a nurse on call.

~One week later, the Man Cave~

For one week, there was peace. Not an easy peace, but peace nonetheless. The Thumb Buddies, as the team discovered, were an up-and-coming duo popping up all over town at various little rescues or missions and whilst it irritated the hell out of Ray and Henry, they didn't do anything to stop and find out who they really were and what they were up to.

So, here they were, one week later, one week older, and (y/n) was still putting up with their bitching and moaning since she wasn't going to get herself worked up over two guys who were just lightening their load. It was the boys who were mumbling and grumbling as they were called out to yet another emergency at the local baseball game, which left their headquarters in the hands of Charlotte, the smart one and Jasper, the not-so-smart one.

"Uh, what are you wearing?" Said smart one asked the not-so-smart one as she stepped out of the elevator and glanced up from her PearPad. Jasper, in all of his genius, had chosen one of the worst shirts he could have possibly chosen to put on that morning and Charlotte knew that the garment was gonna stir up some trouble when Ray got back.

"Oh! This is my Thumb Buddies shirt." That's what was gonna get him hung drawn and quartered.

"Yeah, well, you better take that off," She advised as she strolled past. It was better to warn him now, that way when it all went wrong and Ray was scrambling to wrap his fingers around his neck, Charlotte could at least say she tried to save him. Come on, that shirt was just begging to be ripped off.

"Why?" Jasper frowned, showing just how unaware he was. Had he not met Ray Manchester? The biggest man-child around? (y/n) wasn't always gonna be around to protect him and calm her baby down, so what then? Jasper might as well have betrayal scrawled across his forehead in permanent marker.

"Because, last week, Ray, (y/n) and Henry caught that criminal, Stainless Steve and those Thumb Buddies guys took credit for the capture." The girl explained as if it hadn't been the talk of the Man Cave all week. God, (y/n) must've been exhausted, she had been soothing his bruised ego all week, telling him that it was all right and to focus on her instead, which had been the sole reason for the uneasy peace they'd found.

"So?" And Jasper seemed to have a death wish. Did he want to be thrown into the pot and boiled to death?

"So, Ray and Henry were pretty mad about it and (y/n) can't hold them back forever, so if I was you—" Charlotte's advice ran out as the tubes beeped and dropped, bringing down Kid Danger in the left one and Captain Man in the right one, with Miss Danger wrapped up in his arms. Oh dear, here came the blood bath; if he was smart, he'd take the shirt off now...

"Hey! How'd it go at the baseball game?" Charlotte didn't miss a beat, figuring that if she stayed calm and acted natural, maybe, just maybe, the boys wouldn't notice the abomination that was Jasper's shirt. Ray didn't look in his direction very much anyway and it's not like having two, smiling guys and their names splashed across your chest isn't obvious...right?

"Oh, I don't know, I'd say it went pretty well..." Ray replied with a huge grin on his face as the three came down from the tubes with a certain bounce in their step that hinted to the teens that they knew more than they were letting on. Well, they were in a good mood, that was a positive sign for Jasper's survival and despite how noticeable it was, the hero and sidekicks hadn't seen the shirt yet, rather they were too caught up in whatever it was they had to reveal.

"Uh, yeah, we didn't do that much other than, uh..."

"WE FOUGHT A BEAR!" (y/n) just couldn't hold it in, not when she was still on her adrenaline high. Not to brag but it had been the most awesome mission of her life. Full of danger, full of daring stunts, full of risk, which normally, she wasn't a fan of but she had to admit, seeing Ray tackle the beast head-on was something that wouldn't be leaving her dreams for the next few weeks. It was hot.

"We fought a bear! Yes, we did!" "Oh my god, we did that! We did fight a bear!" Henry and Ray turned into giddy schoolboys as the excitement came flooding out of them too. If (y/n) found it exciting, then they found it unbearable because heaven knows that they sort the danger, stunts and risks a lot more than she did. And judging by how they were screaming in each other's faces, with Ray giggling like a child on Christmas when his nose brushed (y/n)'s, it was quite the battle.

"Hey, hey, hey! What bear?" Jasper butted in, not wanting to ruin their vectoring shrieking but come on, they couldn't just leave them in the dark like that. Screw the bear, him wearing that shirt in front of them and then drawing their attention was risky, but even so, the heroes didn't notice, not yet anyway.

"Okay, okay, so, shall I tell them the story?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Henry asked his boss with a huge grin on his face since he didn't know if Ray wanted to bask in the glory of this and be the one to retell the tale but he was surprisingly fine with it. Of course, he was; he had other business to attend to, such as sharing a post-fight with his sweet girl as the adrenaline high always made it that much better.

"All right, all right," Henry gathered himself as Ray took a moment to tightly hold (y/n) against his chest, her arms wrapping around his neck as their lips met and Henry knew that he had a few seconds to shine, "These college kids brought a real-life bear to the baseball game!"

"Yeah, you know, just to be funny," Ray added as he and (y/n) broke apart. The kiss was good but neither of them could resist being a part of this story, not when it made them seem so epic.

"Which it was. Dangerous, but funny." The woman added, beaming up at her doofus as his hands stayed on her hips, keeping her close and he was inclined to agree with her. Sure, the bear could have killed everyone on the field but it did make everyone chuckle to see several grown men wet themselves. And besides, it wasn't like Swellview's greatest heroes couldn't handle it.

"Oh, it was hilarious."

"So hilarious," Henry and Ray agreed, the latter smiling down at his sweet girl as she drunkenly giggled at the memory. No one got hurt so it was okay to laugh, right? Of course, if someone had lost an arm or had a leg swallowed then she'd be suitably sombre but since that wasn't the case, it was fine...yeah. It was fine.

"Anyway, until the hotdog guy came out." Henry carried on with the story as Jasper munched on some chips. Any second now, they would see the shirt, once the story was over and they weren't so chipper, that would be it and he just wasn't bothered.

"Yeah, you know weiners?"

"Yeah, I love weiners." The boy nodded through a mouthful of the fried potatoes because he was loving hearing this story as much as they loved telling it. Charlotte was just waiting for him to get rinsed; now that would be the real blockbuster.

"So, the bear, he gets a whiff of the weiners, right? And he just loses his mind! Chases the poor Weiner guy right onto the field!" Ray continued, getting visibly more and more animated as he relived those exhilarating moments. He'd just acted on instinct for the next part, maybe a show of bravado for the crowd watching as well as one lovely young woman in particular, but either way, his reputation was shining brighter than ever.

"So, Ray, being the adorable doofus he is, chases the bear onto the field!"

"I did, I did!" Ray's cheeks flushed slightly under the adoring gaze of (y/n), who couldn't help but feel her tummy flutter when he'd risked his safety doing something that was admittedly, very stupid but also kinda hot. It was selfless and that wild spark of passion in his eye was just another reason for her to fall in love with him, as was the way his hand found hers without even having to break eye contact.

"And check this out. He tackles the bear!"

"I tackled a bear! I tackled a real-life bear!" Ray couldn't help but skip around a bit at Henry's revelation, even if it meant dropping his girl's hand as quickly as he picked it up to squeeze it. Oh well, he was excited, she knew that and it allowed her to admire the man as he glowed with pride and maybe a bit of ego too. Damn, she knew those muscles were big but today, they seemed even bigger.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the bear gets up, he's like, oooargggghh! And there's spit coming out of his mouth, arrroooghhh! He slashes at me, his claws just scrape right across my face!" Ray exclaimed as if the details of him nearly being mutilated weren't horrific to hear.

Perhaps that had been a bit of a terrifying moment for (y/n), seeing her almost-husband getting shredded until she remembered that he was Captain Man. There was no need to worry, the pain only lasted for a second and he'd been through worse, no matter how much her heart instinctively bled to see him wince from the claws.

"Oh my god!" Charlotte gasped. She certainly felt the same terror (y/n) had and was wondering how the woman could still be smiling because that sounded awful--the sort of thing that she'd work herself until a nervous frenzy over. And yet here she was, giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl as she drooled over her fiancé, nothing new there but why wasn't she laying down the law? Giving them the third degree for being so reckless? Why had she participated?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I guess that he thought that Ray was gonna go down or something like that but--"

"Instead, the bear goes, ooooraggh! Which I guess in bear language probably means...."

"Uh-oh, this doofus is indestructible!" She was laughing because everything had turned out fine. Why stress about something when you can laugh about it instead? The bear had gone in for the kill, expecting Captain Man to have his innards as his outards as he gnarled and viciously pawed at his stomach and face, but when Ray grunted through the pain and stayed in one piece, all of the danger disappeared.

"Stupid bear had no idea that I can't be harmed!" Ray yelled, gesturing wildly to his still perfect face as (y/n) stepped over to wind her arms around his neck, unable to keep her distance any longer. His hands landed on her waist, keeping her close as the story continued with the same energy, the same longing looks, but just a physical connection that couldn't be ignored any longer.

"We are smarter than a bear!"

"We are smart than a bear!"

"We are the smarter species!"

"Yes, that happened!" And that was the end of that. Charlotte and Jasper were left...regaled as (y/n) finally pressed her lips to Ray's for the first time in minutes because neither of them would ever get enough of that. For some reason, they were just drawn to each other today, more than usual and the high from the fight wasn't helping. They were living their best lives and it showed, no wonder they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"Wow..."

"Unreal, man." The teens complimented them on their big win. Charlotte didn't sound particularly thrilled but that was just how she was. It was impressive and like Jasper, she found herself to be quite entertained by the grandeur of it all and speaking of grandeur, (y/n) had a brainwave. If two kids were entertained by the tale, who was to say that others weren't? After all, it's not like that baseball park had been empty, far from it. A couple thousand people from it, to be exact.

"Sweet cheese, we might be on the news! I bet they're talking about us right now," The woman gasped, looking up at her lover with sparkling eyes and his grin grew from the moment she said the word 'news'. Ever since the debacle with Stainless Steve, Ray had been anxious to get a new story in the press to make them all seem like the best team around again, but there had been nothing of substance worth reporting, which left them at a stalemate. Until now.

"I like the way you think, sweet girl..." He smirked and immediately began to lead her over to the supercomputer where they could hear all of their heroic actions being broadcasted to the city. He wouldn't mind seeing an action replay of how she gave the beast a swift jab to the snout after it wandered a little too close to Kid Danger for her liking; even when he was still reeling from being mauled, it was so hot to witness and seeing it again would be a godsend.

"Yeah, let's see what they're saying about us," Henry smiled and so, they all gathered around the computer. The trio stood back a little so they could soak up the story and bask in their awesomeness, which just left Charlotte and Jasper to bring it up on the monitor.

"Okay...coming up, now."

"And Trent, this happened just moments ago?" Mary suddenly appeared on the screen, sporting her usual blonde bob as she looked across at her colleague. Oh good, they hadn't started their report yet, they hadn't missed it. Fresh off the press, that was more like it, so much better than that Thumb Buddies crap.

"That's right, Mary..." Trent nodded, causing a surge of excitement to run up Ray, (y/n) and Henry's spines. Any minute now, they'd announce how awesome they were and then the Thumb Buddies would be history.

"See? They're talking about us!" "Fought a bear, my man!" It was kinda cute just how excited they were and (y/n) wasn't about to complain, not when her hero wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her in close, encasing her in his warmth and the scent of his cologne. She could feel his smile pressed against her neck as he refused to let go of the hug, wanting to hold her there as he heard the praise coming from the news crew. At that moment, life couldn't get any better.

"Okay, now, we're gonna go live to the scene where it all went down and talk with the actual heroes who saved the day." However, you can only go so high until there's nowhere left to go but back down. Their smiles deflated when they heard that because it didn't make any sense. They'd left the baseball field, they were safely anonymous and hidden in the Man Cave, how were they meant to do an interview now?

"What? How are they gonna interview us right now?" Henry asked, looking back at the perplexed couple as the cold seeped into their fluffy warmth. Oh dear, this didn't feel right, (y/n)'s tummy was talking to her, telling her that this next bit of news wasn't gonna be something any of them wanted to hear.

"Yeah, yeah, 'cause we're here..." Ray muttered and just to make sure that they hadn't been tailed or anything, the boys checked behind them to make sure that there were no pesky reporters that needed a Memory Wiper to the face. That was dumb but the young woman with them let it slide; she didn't want to upset them any further, not when she sensed that Trent was about to cause a shitstorm.

"Thanks, Trent," said the reporter who had been with them the other night, bringing their attention back to their screen and oh, it wasn't good, "I'm here live at Nacho Ball, where a local, sweaty man committed a crime just moments ago."

"What, what, what is all this about?" Ray stammered, looking at his sweet girl for answers as they moved closer to the screen with heartbroken, confused expressions. Their big moment was gone, it had been replaced with a crappy fast-food restaurant instead, which stung. His girl could give him the answer, right? She was smart, she knew stuff, she made things clear with that big brain of hers when he didn't understand, she knew what was going on and it was all fine...it had to be.

"Why are they at Nacho Ball?"

"Don't look at me, I know just as much as you about this..." (y/n) told them. For once, she didn't have all the answers, rather, she was in the dark too, with nothing to go off except her gut and that was telling her that this wasn't going to be easy to hear. Oh, her poor doofus, her poor Hen, they were gonna throw fists first and ask questions later because they took so much pride in being the number one heroes in this town. To be outdone on their turf, it didn't look good.

"Can you tell us what happened?" The reporter asked a miserable looking girl, who seemed to have a perpetual wobbly lip and permanent tears in her eyes like someone had just told her the worst news in the world. Sure, she worked at the grossest Nacho Ball in town, but come on, was life that sucky for her?

"Yeah...Um, this guy, I think his name is Jeff, he ordered a three-ball nacho sack and when he paid for it, he handed me a coupon." The whiny girl described. So far, so...normal.

"But there was something wrong with that coupon, wasn't there?"

"Yeah! It was expired!" Jeez, this girl was whiny. It made (y/n) wonder what had happened to make her so teary because surely, getting so upset over one coupon wasn't worth it, not when her mascara was in danger of running down her face and making her look like a panda.

"Kimberly, we've just received cell phone video of the attempted Nacho Ball crime, so we're gonna show that right now," Trent butted in and suddenly, the viewers were being shown some blurry, shaky footage of what had gone down in the restaurant and suddenly, their suffering made sense. This guy was the author of their frustration, rather, because every time something irritated them, he was always there.

"Okay, that'll be twelve-twenty-one."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Here's a Nacho Ball coupon for twenty bucks."

"Great. I will just ring this up." "Thanks, bro!"

"That's Jeff!" Ray pointed out, knowing that tubby belly, moronic voice and dumb cap anywhere. Of course, it was him, where there was trouble for him and his sidekicks to sort out, Jeff was there too. His arms tightened around his sweet girl as he couldn't help but tense his muscles in aggravation, and (y/n) responded in turn. If she allowed her doofus to get worked up every time Jeff did something dumb, she'd be walking a greying old man down the aisle, not a super-hot hero.

"It's okay, doof. Everyone knows how stupid he is." She soothed him, tilting her head back into a rather awkward angle just to peck his chin affectionately. Ray softened at that and instantly relaxed when his mind focused on her tender love rather than stupid Jeff and the woman was left satisfied when the creases on his forehead relaxed and his shoulders slumped a bit, The ensuing kiss to the top of her head wasn't bad either.

"This coupon expired four days ago."

"Oh, I didn't know."

"Oh, sure you didn't." The whiny girl sneered as Jeff frowned at the expired coupon with knitted eyebrows and in a moment of colossal overreacting, the girl slammed her hand onto the panic button on the counter—the one reserved for when they were genuinely being robbed.

"HELP! THIS GUY HERE IS TRYING TO ROB US!" And that's when everything went to shit. To be fair to Jeff, and (y/n) couldn't believe she was sticking up for him, but it was a bit much how she assumed that he was a robber just because he had a dodgy coupon. Dare she say that she felt sorry for him in a way? The ensuing sirens, alarms and flashing lights were a bit much as he stood there and protested his innocence, right up until someone tackled him from behind.

A tall man with an orange cape leapt onto Jeff's back, slamming him into the counter and wrestling him to the floor like he was a WWE champion. Then, as Jeff was wriggling for freedom from the sudden assault, another guy joined the fray, pouncing on his friend's back and pinning Jeff to the tiles even more, possibly squishing his pancreas in the process too. They'd slapped the cuffs on him quicker than Ray, (y/n) and Henry could blink and upon freezing the frame, they saw who'd upstaged them with such a miraculous counter.

The damn Thumb Buddies.

"Whoa! Gosh, that was the bravest thing I've ever seen." Trent grinned, causing Ray and Henry's mouths to drop open. Okay, (y/n) wasn't particularly thrilled by it herself but they took it much more seriously. For them, it was like a betrayal seeing how these two idiots were being praised for taking down one criminal who hadn't even done anything—and they'd dealt with Jeff hundreds of times.

"Whaaaaat?" "Bravest?!" They gasped, staring at the monitor in disbelief because all they'd seen was a mad scramble to rest an idiot, hardly the stuff of legends. They'd nearly been eaten by a bear, that was heroic and deserved praise and yet they weren't getting any, all because of these two.

"I have done braver things on the toilet!" "Yeah, that is a bit ridicul—oh my god, Ray, what?" (y/n)'s nose scrunched up at how disgustingly dramatic her lover was being, which earned her a sharp shushing from Charlotte. The girl was still trying to listen and whatever troubles they were having comprehending being replaced was interrupting that.

"Kimberly, are you with the heroes right now?" Trent pressed further, sending the boys into a cold silence as they begrudgingly started to listen again. Did they have to call them that? So what? They did one rescue and now everyone was fanning over them, had everyone lost their minds? Captain Man and Kid Danger, were the brave ones...and Miss Danger too, of course.

"I sure am, Trent," The reporter grinned as the camera cut back to her, revealing to the heroes' disdain that she was now with their newfound enemies, "And once again, it looks like our city of Swellview owes a big thank you to The Thumb Buddies!"

"You're very welcome." "We appreciate that, yes." They weren't anything spectacular to behold. To (y/n) (and secretly Ray and Henry), they just looked like two guys in costumes, which was technically what they were too. They seemed a bit dorky, a bit starstruck by the cameras and attention suddenly thrust upon them but apart from that, they seemed very polite and respectful, maybe even humble for the praise the news lavished on them. It was so damn aggravating.

"Okay, who are these Thumb Buddies? Where did they come from?" Ray asked darkly, needing more than a hug from his sweet girl to let this one go. He needed answers because, despite the report being muted, he could still feel the rage burning through him. This was his city, he'd been protecting it for years and now that there were two newbies on the scene, he'd lost the loyalty of his fans, and everyone knows how Captain Man thrives on the attention—simply doing it as a good deed was okay but doing it to be loved was better.

"Yeah, and why are they in our town, doing our job?" Henry asked too, his lips pursed into a thin, firm line. In his years as a sidekick, he'd grown used to the praise too, after all, he never got any as Henry Hart, being praised as Kid Danger was all he had left to fill that need to be loved. If they were the heroes now, where would that leave them? The professionals, the dependable ones, the ones who knew what they were doing?

"Well, technically, they're making our job easier." (y/n) pointed out, which caused Ray to whip around to face her with a murderous look, almost like she'd prodded her finger in a sore wound. It was a betrayal, how dare she side with the enemy, even if she did make a valid point. His sweet girl, did she like these Thumb Buddies too?

"Whose side are you on?!" He asked her furiously, but the woman didn't flinch under his intense gaze or bat an eyelid when his face got close to hers. If anything, her heart rate increased for a different reason entirely, not that she'd ever let him know that since he was being his ridiculous, doofy self right now. She'd only make a move on the adorable doofus when he was being reasonable, not irrational.

"Oh, we're picking sides now?" She smirked, raising her eyebrows in a way that said she wasn't taking him seriously, more like finding his fury amusing, "You know I'm with you, doofus, calm down.

"...Charlotte, I told you last week that I wanted a full report on these guys. Now, where is it?" Ray switched targets after taking a split second to calm down. Right, his girl would never side with two guys she'd never met and had no plans on joining, which was crazy when he snapped back into the moment and realised just how close her smirking lips were to his. So, he quickly redirected his anger onto someone else, namely Charlotte since he'd given her a task to complete after the incident last week.

"I sent you an email, last week." The teen stated dryly, giving him one of her dead-eyed stares because he was accusing her of slacking off. She was Charlotte, the reliable one, if her boss needed something she'd do it and she wasn't gonna be held responsible if he was too busy getting it on with his girl to realise that his order had been delivered.

"You know I don't read my emails unless you send me a text telling me to read my emails," Ray replied petulantly, trying to not seem like the idiot in this situation. (y/n) knew that all too well, he was so...forgetful, so distracted by things he deemed more important than a boring, old email, so he needed several reminders since he was usually busy eating, showering, napping, training, playing games or loving up her to notice.

"I also sent you a text," Charlotte stated, which was grinding for the man to hear, so much that he couldn't help but growl and reach out with grabbing hands, only for Henry to shove (y/n) into them instead. He could hold onto her for a bit, she could help him calm down a bit because God knows that he needed it and she craved it and it came with the bonus that Ray wouldn't kill Charlotte for his mistake.

"All right, all right, just...hug (y/n), there you go...will you just tell us who these Thumb Buddies are?" The boy then turned to his friend, who didn't know how to tell them that there wasn't much to tell. She'd trawled through every newspaper, every magazine, every gossip column, social media accounts, private records and public information to work out just who they were dealing with. Dorks. Normal, kooky dorks with nothing exciting and nothing to fear, hardly worth getting so upset over because they were people. Merely people.

"They're just...they're just guys. Regular guys, who started fighting crime." She said slowly, trying to phrase it gently, but just how gentle could she be when telling them that there was no dirt to sell to the press or legitimate reason for the city to be fawning over them?

"Then, why is everyone making such a big deal about them?" Ray asked in a distraught tone as his fingers danced up and down his sweet girl's satin-covered spine. It soothed him, feeling the curves and contours of her body, which he practically had memorised at this point, and feeling her forehead rested against his shoulder calmed him even more. He couldn't get mad when he had to stay still and give her affection.

"Well, they're new and they seem nice." Well, he could when Jasper was the one stating facts. God, he said it in such a plain, obvious way and it aggravated everything, making Ray see red. His hands seized (y/n)'s hips and squeezed and he couldn't help but shout, though he did take care to not shout directly into her ear.

"We're very nice!"

"Yeah, we're delightful, Jasper!" Even Henry couldn't help but snap too because he felt the same; they had everything the Thumb Buddies had and more, it was just because he lived in a throw-away society that it wasn't good enough. He'd finally reached the point where he was no longer new and exciting, the same with (y/n) and she'd been the latest to join. They were nothing new, so that meant they weren't wanted anymore...how depressing.

"Jeez, stop shouting, doofus. I think you're overreacting to this." (y/n) grumbled when her moment of peace was shattered because of her stupidly loud fiancé. She'd been enjoying that, had liked just breathing him in for a moment with just his hands on her back and his cologne in her nose, it was intimate yet softly so, just enough to satisfy the unending need to have him close. That is until they got upset again and she accidentally poured petrol on the bonfire.

"Overreacting?! We're overreacting? This is underreacting!"

"Overreacting? Oh-ho-ho, this--this is subtle!" The boys hissed, once again feeling betrayed by her cool response to the news that these new heroes were the greatest thing since sliced bread. That gained them an eye roll because with how many good times they shared, it was easy to forget how childish and proud Ray could be and how that had rubbed off on his most impressionable sidekick. She adored him, both of them, but god, could they be any more annoying?

"Hey! Look how popular those guys are," Jasper suddenly drew their attention back to the news and once it was unmuted, Ray and Henry found themselves with more cause for clenching their jaws.

In the time they had been "underreacting", tons of fans had seen the Thumb Buddies on the news and had gathered in the grungy Nacho Ball, almost to the point where no one else could fit into the restaurant. Each one was waving bits of nacho sacks for autographs or PearPhones for selfies, shouting and proclaiming their newfound love just as they used to do for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger. All that just for them?

"And as you can see, it looks like everyone wants their tacos signed by the Thumb Buddies. Back to you, Trent."

"And Mary!"

"Looks like the Thumb Buddies are gonna be autographing tacos for quite a while, so if you're in the area of Nacho Ball, you might wanna head on over there and meet them." The report finished with the shining smiles of Trent and Mary and the dark frowns of Henry and Ray, who'd grown more and more livid with each swirl of the pens held by the Thumb Buddies. When was the last time they'd been swamped by fans wanting an autograph? Right, before these clowns turned up with their stupid kneepads and orange jackets.

"Are they--are they kidding me?! Not even a mention of the thing we did at the baseball game?" Ray whined as he plonked himself onto the back of the couch with a sour pout on his face. That prompted (y/n) to wander over with a sympathetic expression written on hers. He might have been annoying her but that didn't mean she didn't understand what he was feeling and looking so sad she couldn't help but intervene.

"Just let it go, sweetheart. We don't need a party for every mission we complete." The woman told him gently, standing in between his legs and stroking her hands over his scratchy cheeks that would be due a shave in a couple of days. The praise was nice but by no means necessary, just knowing that they'd do the right thing should've been enough.

"But sweet girl, I--"

"Wait, wait, wait, stop kissing, shhh!" Henry suddenly shushed their little pep talk when the next story flashed up on the monitor and it was like the producers could hear their prayers. Okay, his assumption that they'd sloped off to the back to makeout was misplaced and a bit annoying but Ray didn't care, not when he saw that the city's baseball match was up next.

"Didn't even get one kiss, let alone kissing..." (y/n) muttered under her breath as Ray scrambled to stand next to Henry. She'd been building up to that and had been hoping for some adoration from the man since they'd been talking about these Thumb Buddies for far too long. Couldn't they just change out of their uniforms and watch a movie or two? Laze the rest of the afternoon away?

"And now, some news about today's baseball game. The Swellview Sailors lost seven to three..." Trent reported the score and left an awkward gap, which made everyone hang on to his every word for that crucial addition, "Captain Man and sidekicks save the day". However, he said nothing and didn't even crack a smile as his viewers waited for an explanation or development that never came, much to the heartbreak of the boys. "That's it."

"All right, that does it! We're going down to Nacho Ball and we're gonna tell those rotten thumb buddies that Swellview is our town!"

"Our town!" Ray and Henry growled because Trent's failure to mention their heroism for the day meant one thing. All-out war. If these Thumb Buddies wanted to take over their turf then they were just gonna have to fight them for it and they'd see who was the best when they had a proton blaster being waved in their faces.

"Who needs the Thumb Buddies?"

"Nobody!" It was safe to say that they were ranting and blinded by the red haze of frustration from being ranked second place behind two bozos from nowhere. Were they gonna march into a Nacho Ball and cause a scene because they were jealous? Hell yeah.

"Nobody I know!"

"Exactly!"

"I fought a bear!" Ray exclaimed as they marched off towards the tubes again. It didn't matter that they were tired from an eventful mission, it didn't matter that (y/n) groaned and looked up to the ceiling with a silent plea for some invisible for to make them see sense but it wasn't happening. It was either stay in the Man Cave and hear all about how Captain Man and Kid Danger made fools out of themselves or she bit the bullet and went with them to try and avert disaster. Why did she love this job again?

"Are you gonna go with them?" Charlotte asked her with the same bored tone and the dry look she'd been wearing all afternoon, ever since this problem fell into her lap. In some ways, she admired the woman for being so loyal since not many people would still work after being led into reckless decisions so many times but then again, there was being loyal and then there was being dumb. Which one was (y/n)? Love made her do dumb things for all the right reasons.

"Yeah, someone needs to care since they don't." The heroine sighed tiredly and trudged along behind them, mentally preparing her camera face again since she'd end up in the papers one way or another. It would be something ridiculous like "Miss Danger spotted with Thumb Buddy, has she moved on?" or "Have Miss Danger and Captain Man called it quits?". Stupid, irrelevant headlines that were always far from the truth.

"If I come with you, do you promise to watch that new rom-com with me? The one with Tom Hiddleston in it?" (y/n) asked her doofus as she ascended the steps and wrapped her arms around his neck, ready to go up the tube.

That was a toughie; on one hand, he loved sitting down to watch a rom-com with her since they were boring but the perfect opportunity to just...admire her. But on the other hand, he'd have to admire her as she admired Tim Hiddlestick or whatever he was called with his stupid suave accent and perfect face. A celebrity crush was a celebrity crush, hardly anything substantial but still. Did he have to see her drool over someone who wasn't him?

"...Fine. Just because I love you." Ray conceded, deciding to indulge his darling girl since she was so graciously following him on a personal mission to bitch and moan at two men he'd never met. Precious girl, keeping him from sinking into self-ruin, he could survive one movie for her, after all, Theo Piddleson wasn't the one who was gonna be waiting for her at the end of the aisle.

"Thanks, doofus. I lo--"

"W-w-wait--wait! Since you guys are going to Nacho Ball, can you pick me up a three-ball nacho sack?" Jasper butted in, thinking with his stomach and not his head--a grave error to make. (y/n) didn't think anything of it, to be fair, she'd probably pick up a snack once they were done berating the Thumb Buddies, but Ray took it much more seriously. He was enjoying a moment with his fiancée, she was about to say those three words that he'd never thought he'd have the privilege of hearing and he'd cut her off. Not cool, man.

"No, we're not gonna pick you up a three---what are you wearing?" Ray stammered and took a double-take when he finally saw what the boy was wearing. This was his gravest error. It was obvious now he was looking at him properly and with those faces smiling up at him, it was impossible not to notice. The lettering, the photo, and him interrupting the moment were infuriating and all of a sudden, he was breaking away from (y/n) to pick another fight.

"What do you mean?" Jasper's hands moved to cover his chest as if he'd been burnt, quick and reflexive. Charlotte couldn't help but grin; her warning had not been heeded and now, he was about to face the consequences for thinking he knew everything.

"Move your hands," Ray ordered him. He didn't want to sound too harsh, deep down he knew that Jasper was still a kid and he wasn't about to yell, not when his sweet girl and other employees were in earshot but damn it, he knew what he'd seen. Jasper could move his hands over the pattern as much as he wanted, but he could still see those eyes peeking out.

"Jasper, just move your hands away from your shirt,"

"Yeah, you're not in any trouble," (y/n) agreed with Henry after Ray turned to them for help. It was no secret that the kid wasn't slightly afraid of them like he was with Ray, so they'd be able to get through to him hopefully, but those were famous last words that the woman couldn't guarantee. With her, he wasn't in any trouble at all but with Ray, that was a different matter because he'd labelled those men as enemies and he was supporting them, even if he didn't see it that way.

So, slowly, very, very slowly, Jasper parted his fingers, revealing his Thumb Buddies shirt in all of its glory, much to his terror and Ray's disappointment. Someone get (y/n) on hand, he preferred to have his head on his shoulders, not rolling along the floor...

"Wow..."

"Calm down, calm down, it's fine, just look at me, doofus..." (y/n) moved like lightning as she watched Ray's eyes darken. Henry was gonna let her do most of the work since she was the expert at taming Ray but he still offered a hand on his boss' shoulder as another force guiding him back to the tubes. If they could just get him out of the Man Cave, he'd probably forget about this and Jasper would live to make another mistake, another day.

"It's fine..."

"We're all good, just come with me."

"It's totally fine..."

"You good?"

"I'mma just walk away..." So far, so good. Ray melted into his girl's touch like her soft words were working and with Henry helping out, for a moment, the sidekicks thought that they were gonna get away with this one. The man seemed calm and suspiciously reasonable for a guy famed for having a ridiculously short temper and childish personality, almost too suspiciously as if it was all too good to be true.

And it was. Ray just couldn't take it, he couldn't have those sorry excuses for superheroes being showcased in his secret hideout and in a moment of madness, he went berserk. No thought, no beforehand, no thinking things through, he just grabbed a spare blaster from a rogue and began firing to the beat of his frustrated grunts and groans. So much for having a magic touch, Henry and (y/n) were instantly wrangling to get him under control rather than treating him with the utmost care.

"Raymond, put it down, you moron!" (y/n) screeched as Jasper hit the deck and Charlotte hastily opened an umbrella. Oh yeah, that was gonna keep her nice and safe. Jasper was in a similar position, although he at least had the sense to clumsily scramble for cover as (y/n) did her best to get her rogue lover under control, mainly by jumping on his back and trying to steer his fire away from the boy. It was a damn good job that Ray was a shit shot with an even shittier aim because otherwise, Jasper would be a goner as her weight was doing nothing to make those muscles move.

"Ray!"

"Raymond Manchester, I swear to god, if you don't stop trying to kill one of our employees, you'll be walking down the aisle by yourself!" The woman played her trump card by shouting the warning into his ear and as the threat wormed its way through the labyrinth of Ray's brain, his lasers slowly tapered off.

Alone? On his wedding day? No sweet girl? No Mrs Manchester? Well, he'd wrap Jasper up in cotton wool, beg on his knees for the rest of his life and worship that boy if it made her happy and prevented that terrible possibility from becoming true.

That gave Jasper enough time to wriggle through one of the holes in the sprocket and hide behind the thick metal as Ray lowered his weapon and Charlotte closed her umbrella. Right, in future, they'd be using the no wedding warning to get him to cease because Jesus, he could've hurt someone.

"Dude! That was dangerous! What if you hit him?" Henry asked sternly as (y/n) frowned and folded her arms. What had he been thinking? She'd never cancel the wedding, not unless something heartbreakingly catastrophic happened, but it had been enough to shock him into stopping, not that Ray shared their worry about hurting Jasper. The only thing he cared about was giving his best puppy dog eyes to his fiancée. Yeah, she'd be needing a bit more than that.

"Oh, it was set to a light stun!...ooh! Wait...yikes!" Ray brushed their worries away because he'd assumed that the weapon was just zapping lightly and Jasper, had he been hit, would have been fine...or not. To his and (y/n)'s and Henry's horror, the blaster had actually been programmed to burn and sear flesh, a setting reserved for their greatest and most hated enemies, not for the kid they were all so fond of.

"Raymond. Get your ass up those stairs before I kick it from here to Nacho Bell." (y/n) glowered at her dumb doofus and he ashamedly shuffled up to the tubes with eyes meeting the ground. He hated how angry she was and how she gave him the cold shoulder as they were packed into a single tube, his arms being the only thing keeping them pressed together because right now, she could barely look at him.

It stung and as the seconds passed, he found himself growing more and more embarrassed by his outburst as they whooshed off without Jasper left behind to lick his wounds. She'd forgive him in a bit but in the meantime? Ray Manchester was firmly on the naughty step.

~Nacho Ball~

Well, this was homey. As shown on the news, Nacho Ball was packed full of people and whether they had gone there for the food or not was irrelevant. The only thing that mattered to Ray and Henry was that everyone and they meant everyone, was collecting their order and then pandering to the Thumb Buddies like over-excited children--which most of them were.

Everyone boy, girl man, woman and toddler giggled and blushed as they approached the small table that the staff had set up for the men so they could hand out free t-shirts, selfies and sign tacos, and for the boys, it was enraging, perhaps even humiliating. There was a time when people used to do that for them, they'd queue around the block just to get a glimpse of their red and blue uniform but now? They were old news, pushed aside for the newest toys in the toybox.

And that wasn't the worst bit.

"Hey, isn't that your obnoxious little sister in there with the Thumb Buddies?" Ray asked as the trio peered through the glass door and assessed the situation, which was when they saw the biggest betrayal of all. There was Piper, fawning over the Thumb Buddies as they gave her a free shirt and signed everything she pushed in front of them. What the hell? She was supposed to love them and be their biggest fan, but that was not what they were seeing. Traitor.

"Yeah...what is she doing?" Henry breathed out as he watched his sister take an obnoxiously happy selfie with their rivals, something which made their skin bristle. Well, his and Ray's skin, (y/n) wasn't particularly bothered, not when she could smell that greasy, not-good-for-you-at-all goodness just waiting for her to buy. They hadn't had lunch yet, couldn't they forget about these guys and just move on, much like she was trying to do about the whole Ray-Jasper blaster incident? Was that too much to ask?

"Uh, I thought she was supposed to be the president of the Captain Man fan club," The hero stated bitterly as he stared at the alarmingly pink shirt that Piper had thrown over her cute outfit and how it proclaimed all her love for those idiots. He, out of the kindness of his heart and perhaps just a little bit of simping for his then-best friend, had made her president of the Man Fans all those years ago and this was how she repaid him? Et Tu, Piper?

"Yeah, she is, but you can like two things, doo--oh, sweet cheese, here she comes..." (y/n) muttered before trailing off as the girl abruptly turned around and headed for the door, straight for the ensnaring superheroes. Oh dear, (y/n) would hold them back as much as she could but even with her best, this was gonna be excruciating.

"Hello." Yep, it was excruciating and they'd only said one word. Before the heroine could tell them that confrontation was a bad idea, y'know, caring so they didn't have to again even though she had every right in the world to just leave them to it, they marched into the restaurant and that was where the awkwardness began.

Ray stood with his hip jutted out at an angle and even lanky Henry cut an imposing figure as he towered over his shocked sister with a sour expression on his face. There was nowhere for the girl to go and when she looked at Miss Danger for an explanation, all she got was a wince because they were in too deep now to go back, like they were a jealous girlfriend confronting her boyfriend for being with someone else. This shit was getting weird.

"Yeah, hi, Pi---Hello, little girl," Henry added, switching his voice at the last minute when he realised that Kid Danger did not know Piper Hart on a personal level, no matter how many times they'd interacted.

"Ah, jeez..."

"Uhhh, h--hey, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger. I, uh, didn't expect to see you guys here," Piper stammered awkwardly as her palms grew clammy around her tray of food. It truly was like she'd been caught out, stuck between her new lover and her old one, especially when the boys pettily folded their arms like she was in the wrong. God, (y/n) felt first-hand embarrassment, second-hand embarrassment, third-hand embarrassment, fourth-hand...and so on.

"Yeah, we bet you didn't."

"Yeah, we bet you didn't." Ray and Henry spat, giving a pretty good impression of Regina George as they stood there like a couple of mean girls, bored yet spiteful looks on their faces and for what? Piper hadn't done anything wrong, who said she was switching sides?

"Yeah, well, I--I..."

"Nice t-shirt."

"Yeah, with the Thumb Buddies on it," Ray flicked his fingers towards the hot pink material Piper was wearing, specifically the spot on her chest that had that stupid smiley pic of them together. He could feel his sweet girl glaring daggers into the side of his head and the way she was growing more and more restless by the scene they were causing but he wasn't done yet. Oh, he had a lot more to say, no matter how much his heart was tugging his brain towards the door and the idea of going home, where he could make all of his wrongs right.

"Oh, come on, this is just a t-shirt. It's not like I'm their number one fan!" Piper chuckled nervously and tried to play down the reasons why she'd put the shirt on in the first place. It wasn't a big deal, just a freebie she'd been given by two new celebrities, hardly the legends that were Captain Man and his sidekicks. Of course, she still loved them, but that's not what they were hearing.

"Oh, really? Then explain this!" Ray snapped and pushed the girl to turn around so they could see the back of her t-shirt, which had the icing to go on the traitorous cake. In big, white, stupid lettering, Piper's back read "thumber 1 fan" and as if the pun wasn't bad enough, the meaning behind the words was just another knife in their hearts. She could lie to them all she wanted but they knew the truth; the cold, heartbreaking truth.

"Thumber one fan?"

"Jeez, man..." She made them sick, and if (y/n) was just a little bit braver, she might've mocked them for that. She could tell them that all kids make mistakes but on second thought, she wasn't even sure that Piper had. So she was wearing a shirt with a dumb pun on it that promoted other heroes, so what?

"Don't you think you're overreacting now, Captain Man?" The woman hissed to the man, slightly turning her back on Piper so she would struggle to hear her. The last thing she wanted was for Piper's view of her fiancée to dip, he deserved to be loved for his bravery, just not his partial stupidity, which was working against her right now. Piper didn't hear her, thank god, but neither did Ray, not when he didn't want to listen.

"Okay, look, I know this was wrong, I just really wanted to meet them, and have them sign a taco and take a selfie but it was just this one time, I swear! It didn't mean anything!" Piper begged them desperately, and alarmingly, she was starting to cross into the "yeah, I cheated but it didn't mean anything" territory of being caught red-handed. Things were starting to echo a really bad teen breakup movie and the boys weren't helping, not even caring when (y/n) tiredly pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She gave up staying at home for this shit...

"You know what? Just forget it."

"Yeah, we have something to do, so..." And here came the awkward confrontation of meeting "the new guy", or in this case, the Thumb Buddies. They'd had a go at the cheater and now it was time to slag off the one who dared to take their place, which made (y/n) groan loudly and unapologetically as she stomped after them, and Piper watching on forlorn.

"Hey, what's up? How's it going?"

"All right, okay..."

"Hi, yeah, sorry--ooh, nice shirt, where'd you get that?... Yeah, just following my idiot of a fia--boyfriend...hey..." Of course, slagging off "the new guy" had to come with a little showing off too, just to show them who they were messing with and the cheater who they'd given up in the process.

The room's reaction was instantaneous; once Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger made themselves apparent in the middle of the restaurant, people began to switch sides. What the Thumb Buddies had previously had was given to them, the adoration, the excited squeals, the constant hellos and how are yous, the phones that were suddenly shoved in their faces because holy shit, it was Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger! Cue the fangirling/boying.

Piper stomped off humiliated and (y/n) made a mental note to make it up to her later as she graciously smiled at everyone who greeted her, from the cutest kids with their colour-in menus to the cocky high school seniors who thought they had a chance at taking her on a date.

Hell, on second glance, even the Thumb Buddies seemed to be stunned and hyperventilating from their presence, which was a huge ego boost for Henry and Ray as they preened under all of the attention that had found its way back to the right people. This was more like it.

"MARRY ME, MISS DANGER!" A churlish voice came from the back, probably from the table of football players in the corner, who thought they were so clever with their cheap cologne and playground popularity. Okay, Ray loved the attention but not when it reached this point, not when the odd idiot around the room failed to read the signs that those shoes were already filled, never to be empty again if everything went smoothly.

So, much to the squeals, jealousy and thrill of the others in the Nacho Ball, he slung an arm around (y/n)'s waist and pulled her close to his chest to show those morons, wherever they were in the sea of people, that this little fling of theirs as the magazines called it, that he was already set to have her as his wife. (y/n) blushed and shyly rested her palm on his chest as she ignored the camera flashes, acutely aware that this was gonna be posted online in a few hours, and the last thing she needed was to be scrutinised for all the wrong reasons.

They'd been so careful with what they'd fed to the press. Sure, there had been speculation on just what stage their relationship was at but there had been no official, definitive announcement for the world to savage, pull apart and sulk about. No hearts had been too broken because for most, they were still boyfriend and girlfriend. That wasn't serious, it couldn't be, please, tell them that Captain Man hadn't settled down and please, tell them that Miss Danger hadn't settled for less than she deserved. Still, no time like the present and some provoking to shove things in the right direction.

"All right, everybody out! Right now! Customers, employees and the gunches who keep asking my fiancée to marry them, we have official business with the Thumb Buddies, so goodbye!" Ray gave no fucks.

Without a second thought, he and Henry grabbed the portable tannoy system from their belts, which were rarely used, and ushered the crowd from the restaurant, although they weren't as obstructive and annoyed as you might think. No, they were far too preoccupied with Captain Man's very public announcement that he and Miss Danger were...engaged?

Someone call KLVY because sweet cheese, this was huge! Some were shocked, some were whispering excitedly with their friends, some were disappointed and one girl was straight-up crying. Guess she had quite the crush on one of the heroes that had now been obliterated.

"That's right, one foot in front of the other! You can walk and murmur about what I just said at the same time! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here..." The man was shameless and having Henry back him up wasn't helping as the trembling Thumb Buddies rose from their seats and (y/n) stood frozen like a statue. Had he just told a room full of people that they were getting married or was she just crazy? It was gonna happen at one point but jeez, she wasn't expecting that...

"You okay, sweet girl?" A soft voice suddenly sounded and she snapped out of her daydream to see that Ray was back by her side after shoving the last person through the doors. For such a huge guy, he sure could be silent when he wanted to be and despite his bumbling size, he was never rough, not with her. Well, not unless she wanted him to be, but right now, she wasn't talking to moron Ray, she was speaking to darling Ray, the one who'd gotten down on one knee and given her a ring with the sweetest words she'd ever heard.

"Yeah...you do know you just told everyone we're engaged, right? The whole world will know now..." (y/n) whispered to him as one hand settled in her lower back and the other picked up her left hand, one finger stroking over the place where her engagement ring would be if she wasn't in uniform.

It was...new, maybe a bit overwhelming but still a good feeling to know that everyone else was caught with them, which meant no more lies and rumours about how they secretly hated each other and everything was for show. This was nice, impromptu, but nice.

"Let them know. I want the whole world to see how much I love you," Ray whispered after tenderly kissing her cheek, his lips moving across to ghost past her ear. It tickled, made her blush and caused a grin to spread on her face at the sentiment; she would've thought he'd be shy and reluctant to let everyone know his business since professions of love weren't gonna bolster his tough-guy reputation, but this was the opposite. Newsflash: Captain Man's soft spot revealed.

"Is that...okay with you?" This man. This fucking man, could he be any more perfect? Sure, it was too late to go back on his words but still, her comfort came above everything for him and unlike most, he never missed a chance to make sure everything was okay between them.

"More than okay. It's perfect, doofus...I love you," (y/n) replied gently, unable to stop herself from saying the words she'd been denied earlier because this was just a micro-step in them getting closer and closer to the big day. Everything was still in the infancy stage with very little planned apart from a rough idea of who was going to be there and doing what yet they were getting there, very slowly but very surely.

Now, Henry was a patient boy, especially when it came to these two. He could take the kissing, the random breaks they seemed to take to say some mushy stuff and even their borderline obsessive behaviour when it came to needing physical affection every five seconds, but he had his limits. Okay, one smooch and that was him done; this was a Nacho Ball, for god's sake, hardly the time or place and the Thumb Buddies were getting restless. Time to intervene.

"Uh, Captain Man? Miss Danger?" He cleared his throat as the kiss lingered on and on and on. Maybe he was a killjoy but when they had interrogations to do about who these idiots were and where they had come from, he had to draw the line somewhere, especially when he'd allowed the moment to stretch on for as long as he had.

"Ugh, fine, you can have him back..." (y/n) pouted as she relinquished her hold on her doofus and accepted that he couldn't be soft and squishy forever. Out here in the world, he wasn't Ray Manchester, he was Captain Man and she was Miss Danger, with nothing to shield them if they revealed who they truly were. He'd go back to being an ass and she'd have to wait until they were back home to see the real him again.

"Now..."

"You two..." And just like that, they were back to it like nothing had happened in between. The boys descended into intimidation again and (y/n) prepared herself for awkwardness by folding her arms and acting as uninterested as humanly possible. What was though, was how excited the Thumb Buddies looked. To most people, Ray and Henry would look pretty terrifying right now but all they could muster was a constipated look of delight. Maybe it was nerves?

"We don't know where you came from..."

"We don't wanna know..." Still, no change in their expressions, even as they edge closer. Could it be possible that the Thumb Buddies weren't the dastardly villains that Ray and Henry had painted them out to be? (y/n) couldn't say for certain, but they looked so happy, perhaps a little too happy...

"But I'm gonna tell you something right now...okay, why are you smiling at us like that?" Ray asked as their grins unnerved him. It was kinda difficult to act all mean and serious when they weren't flinching or shaking, this was the opposite of what he had been expecting. Why weren't they scared? Why weren't they begging for forgiveness? Come on, he was supposed to be giving them what for.

"Joey...I--I--I think I'm gonna faint..." The smallest of the men stuttered to his friend as his wide eyes stayed on the three heroes, his hands grabbing onto the taller man's arm as if he needed to steady himself. Jeez, were they that imposing? (y/n) had always seen herself as quite friendly and approachable, but when she gave them a reassuring smile, his eye did a funny twitching thing.

"Just--just hold onto me."

"I'm gonna faint!"

"Just live in the moment, okay? Just breathe and live this moment," The tallest of the two, Joey apparently, encouraged his friend, who began to take deep, calming breaths that seemed to settle his nerves. Joey was hyper too but he hid it much better than his friend with the moustache, who, despite his breathing, still needed to hold his arm for support as Captain Man swapped some confused looks with his sidekicks.

"Okay...OH, GOD, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL LIFE!" All of their attempts to stay calm were in vain because the moment they let down their guards, it all came pouring out. It was slightly alarming to be shouted at about how much they were loved, so (y/n)'s hand sought out Ray's as her calming measure, but they were used to it. Screeching fans were an occupational hazard for them and these guys were no different, even if this was a complete three-sixty on what they had been expecting; "the new guy" was chill? Go figure.

"Okay, what is going on?" Henry demanded as he watched two normal if slightly oafish men fanboy over him, his boss and his boss's fiancée. Had he missed something? He'd expected this confrontation to be dramatic and angsty, not dorky and amicable because they were supposed to be the replacement and they were supposed to be the jilted exes...or something to that metaphoric effect.

"I think they're a lot nicer than you originally thought," (y/n) murmured without taking her eyes off of the men. Ray's hand squeezed hers and it was enough to not get nervous but the confusion was still there; Charlotte had been right, these two were nothing special, just two dorks in strange costumes who decided to be vigilantes. Oh, how she hated to say I told you so...

"It's just...the only reason we ever decided to be crimefighters--"

"--Is 'cause we want to be exactly like you three!"

"We humble ourselves before you..." Ray, Henry and (y/n) were speechless as the THumb Buddies revealed their almost devout love and loyalty for them but also knelt to the ground and bowed their heads as if they were in the presence of royalty.

Okay, perhaps it was a bit extra, demeaning to them, and embarrassing for the trio to be revered as superiors but it was also kind of flattering, and definitely a slap in the face for Henry and Ray. You could say that they hadn't just got the wrong end of the stick, they'd chosen a completely different stick entirely, one that was far from the truth.

"These guys are all right."

"Yeah, I'm starting to like these guys..." And just like that, Henry and Ray's opinions were turned on their heads, much to the frustration of (y/n). They changed theories as quickly as they had formed them and only when they were faced with irrefutable evidence, not someone else's wisdom. Her wisdom, they'd ignored it and now, they looked like idiots. Jealous, moronic idiots.

"You could've just listened to me, but nooooo. Miss Danger just likes to listen to herself say smart stuff, she doesn't want anyone to actually follow it." The woman growled sarcastically and slapped them both upside the head for pissing her off. One of these days, they'd listened to her when she said something to save them from trouble and then, they wouldn't end up in tricky situations. Y'know, like having two men kneeling before them.

"Sorry, sweet girl--I mean, uh, fellas, you may rise before us." Ray stammered a quick apology to his precious girl before grabbing his microphone and addressing the Thumb Buddies like he was their king and they were pitiful peasants. He was loving this; as much as he'd. hanged his mind to see them as equals, not enemies, he refused to let them know that because he was the experienced, dog-eared hero who'd saved the city from peril for twenty years or more. They were just starting out and as such, needed to show him some respect.

"Look, guys. Y'know, the whole superhero thing, it's sort of my--oh..."

"Emergency..." (y/n) muttered as Ray was interrupted by the quiet beeping of his phone. An emergency call was being put through and it wasn't like he could ignore it, even if he was about to tell the Thumb Buddies that Swellview was his city, no matter how much they helped or won the hearts of its people.

"They're getting a real emergency call!"

"I know, I know! Shhhh! Shhhh! Shhhhhhhhh!" The smaller man shushed Joey as he freaked out. So far, all they'd managed to pull off was stopping petty thieves and scavenging the leftovers of Captain Man's fights, so they'd not properly sunk their teeth into a meaty crime yet. Therefore, the notion of a genuine emergency, one fit for only the best, was cause for them to get giddy again.

"I should probably take this. If you'll excuse me..." Ray inclined his head towards the vigilantes politely and sloped off to the side to answer the call as the Thumb Buddies spluttered every respectful phrase they knew. To be honest, Ray could kick their dog and spit on their grandmothers and they'd probably say thank you, that was just how much they loved him. (y/n) and Henry, however, had no idea what to say, their boss normally led the talking for them.

"Where are you going?"

"We don't know these--we don't know what to say! Don't you dare walk out--oh, god." The sidekicks spluttered as Ray walked out the door with just a loving look over his shoulder at his sweet girl and nothing more. Oh, that was chivalrous, leaving them in it. Now, it was gonna be awkward and the pair prayed for a conversation point to make itself known as they slowly turned around to face the Thumb Buddies again.

"So..." Good start from Henry, certainly better than whatever (y/n) had planned as their watery smiles paled in comparison to their enormous grins, "The Thumb Buddies. Cool name."

"Nah. It's stupid..." Joey said bashfully, making (y/n) smile softly at how friendly they seemed. They weren't the brightest pair she'd ever met and they definitely had a childish streak in their personalities but it kinda reminded her of Ray and the playfulness that endeared him to her. They were dorks but she was famous for liking those, doofuses specifically, so hearing them be so hard on themselves strangely struck a nerve.

"Don't be so hard on yourselves, it's cute. How did you come up with it?" She asked with as much interest as she could muster in her voice.

"Well, Mark and I used to be dance instructors," Joey started. He and the smaller, moustache man, now known as Mark, began to lazily demonstrate one of their old routines, making Henry's smile falter from the awkwardness and (y/n)'s grow from how...endearingly quaint they were. What was it with her and dorks? She didn't fancy them or anything, far from it, she'd already found her perfect doofus for that, but they were so nerdy and weird she couldn't help but relax.

"We taught the elderly to dance," And with an explanation like that, she was sold. She liked these guys, they were the kind of people she would've hung out with in college. Misfits and weirdos.

"But we never really felt fulfilled, y'know?"

"We felt like a couple of...nobodies." They went on, making Henry nervously look back at the door every five seconds as (y/n) kindly listened intently. He wanted Ray to come back now, he wouldn't tolerate a long-winded life story that made him want to tear his eyeballs from their sockets, he'd tell them straight and that'd be it. How long could one phone call take?

"But then, one night, we were having dinner with my sister and she says, you guysth!"

"'Cause she talks with a lisp!" Mark chuckled as Joey slurred his speech to be a bit more comical, enough for (y/n)'s gentle smile to twinge as they enjoyed retelling the story. Someone kill Henry now, he was having a dork overload and it was bad enough spending eighty per cent of her time with her and Ray being dorks in love.

"She does! She says, you guysth! You don't have to be nobodiesth! You can be sthomebodies!"

"And we were like, Sthombodies?!"

"Which sounded like Thumb...Buddies!"

"So now, that's who we are."

"The Thumb Buddies!...Boop!" Well, that was an adorkable story and to top it all off, they seemed to have like a strange, handshake thing which involved pressing their thumbs together and squeaking, which was...normal. Henry was getting a vibe here, a very specific vibe that came from a very specific kind of dork.

Y'see, over these years he'd become an expert in what he called dorkology--the study of dorks, mainly because he worked for one. Ray was a dork, specifically a doofus, and on the chart of dorks, he was somewhere in between a nerd and a dweeb, possibly edging on being a sap but nowhere near being a dunce. Frankly, he was a dork but not a Thumb Buddy dork.

It all sounded very complicated but by Henry's calculations, Ray might have been a dork but he was a dork who got the ladies, very well by previous accounts. A dork who found themselves a mate in the wild was rare and it was only specific groups who could be so lucky. Many dorks found themselves unappealing to the females of the world and often, there were not nearly enough dorkettes to go around, so Ray finding his perfect bookworm dorkette match in (y/n) was a stroke of star-crossed fortune.

The Thumb Buddies weren't so lucky though. From where he was standing, he noticed that they weren't blessed with the looks to accompany the personality so, unlike Ray, they weren't doofus, they were dimwits. Dorkette-less dimwits.

"So...I'm guessing you two aren't married." He stated after a brief second of study and placing them securely in the dimwit section of the dork chart. Judging by their amused scoffs and chuckles he was right and judging by how (y/n) knitted her eyebrows and glared at him, she didn't like that. Yeah, on the female dork chart, she was a bookworm, bordering on being a nerd, techie or weenie.

"Nah...just wait for the right girl!"

"That special someone!"

"Where is she?"

"Keep looking! If Captain Man can get someone as perfect as Miss Danger, we can too!" They laughed awkwardly as (y/n)'s cheeks flushed. Dorks couldn't go for the same dorkettes, doofuses were a higher ranking of dork so they got the prettier dorkettes, which was how a moron like Ray won the heart of (y/n), the borderline genius. The Thumb Buddies were on a lower rung, less likely to find themselves a girl since they weren't super-hot, super-cool walls of muscles like Captain Man.

"Trust me, it's worth the wait," (y/n) advised with a gentle smile as they awkwardly tittered about being loveless, much to Henry's amusement. Oh, he loved studying dorks, especially after spending a few years in the field waiting for two to finally discover that they were true dorks. A very complicated science, but rather interesting too, and speak of the dorky devil...

"Kid, sweet girl...Stainless Steve is on the loose." Ray panted as he sprinted back into the restaurant, having just gotten off the phone with Charlotte with some bad news. All of that hard work last week and for nothing because that metal bastard had evaded the useless police before he could be locked up.

"What? Again? I thought the cops had him," (y/n) practically deflated when she heard the news, although she perked back up again when his arm curled around her back and rested his hand just above her butt. Y'know, she'd get to go home at some point, she'd get to change into some comfy pyjamas and nap at some point too, but of course, the job came first.

"They did, but he got away and now, we gotta go get him again," Ray replied tiredly, soothing her worries by rubbing his thumb against her satin-covered skin. He hated the idea of going through all that effort again but they were the guys to do it. Who else would?

"All right, okay, all right, we're sorry guys--" Henry sighed and turned to the Thumb Buddies, expecting them to understand that they had to go do some serious hero work but to his surprise, they had other ideas. This was their chance to do some proper crime-fighting, not the odd punch-up they had been doing recently.

"No! No, no, no, no, can we go with you?"

"Oh, please, let us come with you!"

"You gotta let us come with you!" Joey and Mark yelled, screamed, and begged the heroes to let them accompany them. Getting in on the action of a real Captain Man and Co fight would be a huge boost to their confidence and they'd finally get a taste of what being a superhero really meant. It was the chance of a lifetime and even if it made them seem a bit desperate, they couldn't help but run and circle the heroes to stop them from walking through the door without taking them first.

"Uh, no..."

"I don't think that's a good idea..."

"We don't usually do guided tours of crime scenes..." Their excuses came quickly as they thought about the prospect of having two inexperienced, untrained noobs following them into what could be a highly dangerous situation. What would happen if Steve was particularly vicious on his return?

Sure, the Thumb Buddies' enthusiasm and endless energy were a bit annoying, the upstaging even more so, but they couldn't let them get hurt. No, having them in the background would just leave them to make mistakes because it was just another thing to worry about.

"I'll rub your shoulders on the way!" Joey offered, which was an odd thing to put on the table. Ray's shoulders were tense, fair enough, he carried the weight of the world on them at times, but he had a very willing girlfriend to do it. (y/n) was more than happy to lavish her doofus with affection as she eased his pain. Seeing him tilt his head back and hearing him groan and praise her dextrous fingers was a dream, but admiring and having her lips on his broad shoulders and neck was bliss.

"What? No, I'm sorry, boys, but I'm the only one who rubs Cap--"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Or not. (y/n) snapped her head in Ray's direction when he interrupted her gentle protests with a raised hand. Okay, was he considering this? She wasn't going to but she could rub his shoulders if he wanted that, he didn't need a Thumb Buddy to help out. Consider her thoroughly confused. "You'll rub my shoulders?"

"Sure!"

"You got good hands?" Rude, much? Her hands were great, probably smaller than Joey's but still powerful. She punched people for a living, there was power in those paws. And yet, apparently, he didn't want her doing that. What was Raymond's game?

"Yeah!" Joey exclaimed and raised his hands to show Captain Man just how big they were. He could cover more ground and get at those knots. He just needed to say the word.

"All right, let's go..." There was the word. Henry and (y/n) stammered and staggered after the hero as he casually walked past the celebrating Thumb Buddies and out the door. (y/n) had to practically jog just to keep up with him as the men put on their serious faces and swaggered behind them, which left her with a minute to ask a question. Why?

"My shoulder rubs not good enough anymore, doofus?" The woman asked as she caught up enough to speedily walk beside him, although there was no malice in her tone, just a genuine curiosity as to why he'd allowed two amateur vigilantes to tag along. There had to be an ulterior motive, she just couldn't see it.

"You know I love them, sweet girl, but if you're behind me, I can't do this..." Ray smirked as he slowed down to a casual walking pace, one that was much more suited to her shorter legs and the Thumb Buddies' out-of-shape bodies. For a dork, he sure could be cryptic at times and despite her borderline genius, she couldn't always figure his riddles out, not until he put the engima into practice.

"Do what? I don't under--oh my god, Raymond, that's so good..." Her knitted eyebrows soon relaxed--all of her muscles did from their tense, confused state--when Ray dipped behind her and two huge, enormous, massive, colossal, warm hands rested on her small shoulders and began to manipulate her muscles in a way that could only be described as magical.

Seriously, he was clumsy and poorly coordinated at other stuff but with this, he was an artisan., so much that she didn't realise her slip-up as the pleasured sighs fell from her lips every time his thumbs ran across her spine.

"That's Captain Man to you, sweetheart," Ray purred into her ear as his body forced hers to keep walking, even if it was barely a crawl from how much they'd slowed down. The Thumb Buddies were enthralling Henry in another one of their fascinating stories and even though they were distracted, they were catching up, not that (y/n) could even think about going faster. It was hard enough putting one foot in front of the other as his fingers swirled across her shoulders, let alone coming up the brainpower to focus on anything else.

"Yes, Captain..." She whined breathlessly, trudging along with only him on her mind. It wouldn't last forever, eventually, his fingers would cramp up and her muscles would stop feeling so good but for now, she was gonna soak it all up. It was worth it just to feel him shiver against her when she called him by that name.

~A shady house, the backyard~

It wasn't unheard of for athletes to have their shoulders rubbed before a big match, rather, it was common amongst boxers and the like, y'know, the ones who got riled up too quickly and needed to calm down before their focus snapped. That wasn't the situation for Ray, he never got wound up enough for that to happen but one thing was for sure, his mind had never been calmer in the buildup to a fight.

Joey was right, he did have good hands and they were working magic on Ray as they approached a suspicious-looking house in a quiet neighbourhood of Swellview--a little too quiet if you asked (y/n). Much like he'd done with her, Ray was loving the shoulder rub, so much that (y/n) was happily hearing him mumble rubbish to her as he loosely held her hand and rambled. Something about prettiness, weddings and...food? That pretty much summed him up.

As they approached the backyard, things started to get creepy, so it was a good thing that at least one of them could relax. The Thumb Buddies felt fine; with Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger leading the way, they felt unbelievably protected and the sidekicks wished they could say that. Sure, they were confident in their abilities but (y/n)'s tummy was talking to her as they snuck around the old, creaking house and into the backyard, the last known location of Stainless Steve.

Of course, he couldn't have chosen the park or the rich estate to hide, no, he had to hide in the dark and in the neighbourhood where the trash collectors seemed to be on strike. There was crap scattered everywhere, ranging from an old, abandoned sofa to chip packets to an old orange cone, this place was gross, not that Ray seemed to mind that much as he sneakily checked their surroundings with Joey massaging his shoulders and (y/n) safely tucked into his side with her fists ready to swing.

"Kid, you see anything?" He questioned Henry as he walked in behind him, Mark on his tail since they'd each decided to take a Thumb Buddy into their responsibility. They'd hopefully stay safe that way but it was so dark and the bushes were so built up that it was almost impossible to catch a glimpse of shiny metal anywhere. An ambush would be so easy in a place like this...

"No, nothing. You sure Stainless Steve ran this way?" Henry asked as Joey began chopping at the man's spine, causing his ensuing groan to sound funny. They'd been walking around for ages and had seen nothing, which was starting to make him nervous.

"That's what the cop in the police helicopter said, maybe he---ahhhh. Ahhhh, this guy's hands are like magic," Ray grinned as the guy behind him kept rubbing for much longer than his sweet girl ever could. Not to be mean or anything since he'd adore her until his dying day but sometimes bigger hands were just better. They could cover more ground and go on for longer, not to mention the fact that this way, he could have a massage and look at her.

"Thank you..."

"You know, if you're not careful, he'll grab onto you and never let go. It's what happened with me." (y/n) joked as she witnessed Ray's dopey smile and Joey laughed as the hero's cheeks flushed pink. It was a fairly accurate description of how they'd ended up the way they are now; they met, they fell in love, they latched onto each other, never to let go again. It was that simple.

"Hey, hey, hey, look! Footprints...leading up to the shed," Henry suddenly interrupted, pushing all of the jokings to one side as he noticed some familiar prints etched into the dirt below their feet. Too deep to be any of theirs, kinda like the wearer had been weighed down, possibly due to the impossibly heavy metal jacket they always wore. It was him, wasn't it? Steve was in the shed and all they had to do was sneak up to it and nab him, Easy.

"Oh, hey! Do you guys think that Stainless Steve is hiding in there?" Mark asked under his breath. Ten points to the Thumb Buddies for a brilliant deduction; he might have been hiding in there, might being the keyword. Steve could be sneaky when he wanted to be, so every clue was to be taken with a pinch of salt because, in this game, there was no chance to restart if you walked into a trap.

"Yes."

"Probably..."

"Well, we don't know until we look..." The trio replied as they cautiously eyed the shed, pondering about how they were gonna go about this one but for Joey and Mark, that wasn't an option. This seemed like a simple enough mission, just going in and grabbing the villain, so what they asked next seemed like a no-brainer.

"Ooooh, let us go in there and get him!"

"Yeah! Let us do it!" They begged yet again, wanting a chance to do some real crime-fighting for once without having to stick to small operations or mere lucky finds. The last time they'd dealt with Steve, they'd just stumbled upon someone else's hard work and stolen the glory, but this time, they wanted to do things properly. If they'd let them, that is.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..."

"That's not a good idea, guys..."

"It's probably best to let us handle this one..." (y/n) said in line with her friends. In her experience, no mission was ever as easy as it appeared and if they allowed the Thumb Buddies to proceed and then they got hurt, well, that was on them. They were the professionals, they had the knowledge, weapons and backup ready if something went wrong. Mark and Joey didn't, not that they were listening to that reason.

"Please! If you guys will just let us do this, it'll make us feel like we really did something..."

"Like--like our lives have meaning..." Well, when they put it like that, it was nearly impossible to hold the tears in. (y/n)'s watery eyes met Ray's as she and Henry looked to him for the final say and she wondered which side was winning the war in his mind.

She'd seen it before, hell, she used to be like that, an inconsequential nerd with nothing more than a nine-to-five life as her future when all her heart secretly longed for was an adventure. An odd longing for one so naturally nervous but she understood what they were feeling--the need to belong to something, even if that something wasn't something tangible, like morality or the belief that some things were still good and wholesome and worth fighting for.

"Captain Man?" She asked with hope in her voice, wanting to hear his judgement on the matter so they could put the men out of their misery. He was the boss, he made the call, not her, not Henry, him. What had he decided?

"Well...all right."

"Okay, you guys can get him," He caved, that was his decision. (y/n) broke out into a smile when his softer side came out to play again. Maybe he didn't need his name on this capture, perhaps letting them get a taste of what fighting the big dogs felt like, after all, he remembered what it was like being the newest hero on the scene and trying to find his big break. And seeing the proud smile on his sweet girl's face as they celebrated just sealed the deal; yeah, he'd chosen correctly.

"For real?!"

"Seriously?!" You could say that they were a bit happy at the news, possibly ecstatic. Just a bit.

"But be careful! We don't want to have to scrape you up off the ground and into a bucket..." (y/n) quelled their excitement as Henry shushed their squeals; the last thing they needed was to give away their position because rule number one for espionage was to always try and have the element of surprise. That was their first lesson, the next lesson was not getting yourself killed before you'd even started because they didn't need the guilt on their consciences.

"Yeah, I don't want those fabulous hands getting hurt," Ray added, which made (y/n) frown at his simping as the Thumb Buddies grinned and blushed. This was it, their moment had come just as Joey's sister had said; time for the dorks to find their place in the world.

"Totally get it, totally get it!" Joey laughed it off as Mark came to face him and then, their smiles dropped into serious, stern expressions, which were completely ill-suited to their natural goofy personalities and whacky costumes. "Okay, man...this is it."

"I love you." Bit much? Bit of bromance going on? It made the heroes share a slightly confused look at how bluntly Mark said it but they understand the sentiment, it was cute. Ray loved (y/n), (y/n) loved Ray, Henry loved (y/n), (y/n) loved Henry, Henry loved Ray, and Ray loved Henry, their unit was built upon trust and a strong friendship, more in the couple's case. It was a good sign and lesson three was to always have your partner's back.

"Yeah...who are we?!" Nobody batted an eyelid at how Joey didn't reciprocate because of how weirdly touching the scene was as they entered lesson four - opening lines must always be cool and must always boost your confidence.

"THUMB BUDDIES!!! Boop!" They shouted as they mashed their thumbs together before charging into the shed with a battle cry sounding out into the night sky. Mark went in first with Joey stumbling over his heels as the wide-eyed superheroes watched on, ready to step in if they needed to but then the doors slammed shut and they assumed that they had everything under control. Until they didn't.

To their absolute horror, shock, terror, surprise and whatever, the shed wasn't a shed. Instead, it was a cleverly disguised trap, revealed when the flimsy, wooden walls fell to the ground with a slam. The trap itself was rather disturbing yet brilliant; a tiny, compact rocket with just enough room for two or three people to squeeze into it if they wanted an uncomfortable jaunt into space and through the small viewing window at the front, they could see the men's terrified faces pressing their noses against the glass. Oh god, they'd said to be careful.

Lesson five, charging in is nearly always a dumb idea. Be the tortoise, not the hare.

"Well, that's weird..." Ray stated as he blinked at the rocket. (y/n) was unable to form words as her hand slapped over her mouth at the peril the Thumb Buddies found themselves in and it didn't take a genius to work out that they were panicking. Well, they would be somebodies after this, the first idiots to not want to go to space. How had it all gone so wrong, so quickly?

"Hey!"

"What's happened?!" Joey and Mark screamed above the noise of the engines starting up, the strange hissing and gentle vibrations of the metal making them feel sick as they realised that the door had been bolted after they ran into the pod. All heroes had bad days but these guys had the worst luck in the world. Not to be a pessimist but it looked like their bad day would be their last...

"Uhhh, uhhhh, we don't know!"

"You seem to be in a rocket," Henry told them as they tried to think of something, anything to help out. They should've known it was a trap, just walking into the shed to make an arrest was too easy but they were the ones who'd wanted to save the day. Their mission, their rules, their tactics. How could they help when they were still figuring out exactly what had happened and how?

"Uh, but don't worry! Everything's gonna be--"

"Activate main engine... Prepare for launch..." (y/n) could tell them not to panic all she wanted but when the rocket's automated voice came on and the thrusters started to fire up and spark flames, it didn't matter. They were panicking, she was panicking because she just knew that they were meant to be the ones in that damn rocket, not the Thumb Buddies, who were just fledging fighters, totally unequipped to go into space.

"Fine?---"

"Ignition...goodbye." Before she could offer any counsel or advice on how to shut the rocket down, the remaining thrusters kicked in and the shuttle started to shake, rattle and...fly. Screaming and pleading for their lives, the Thumb Buddies watched with pale faces and bloodshot eyes as Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger stood frozen on the lawn, getting smaller and smaller until they were like ants on the ground.

They were up in the stratosphere before they even spoke again, unable to process that the one time they decided to accept some superhero interns and they accidentally sent them to the moon or something. Definitely not a mission to give to KLVY and certainly not their brightest moment.

"Well, I'll be darned..." Ray muttered as their necks stayed craned at the stars, watching the rocket into it was nothing more than a shooting star crossing the galaxies. (y/n) could swear that a tear rolled down her cheek as they became yet another star in the inky darkness; it was all so damn poetic, they'd wanted to shine and now they would but no one would ever know who they were admiring when they looked up at the sky and happened to see them floating past. They'd be immortalised in space and free to wander the cosmos as the Earth kept spinning...would anyone miss them?

Her thoughtful reflection was broken as delighted cheers broke the quiet of the night and when she finally brought her gaze back down, she saw that it was Stainless Steve. He'd crept back into the garden and was cheering at the sky as he watched his rocket disappear, which was no doubt his cunning method of getting rid of them once and for all. If only he noticed how he'd only succeeded in sending the wrong heroes.

"Goodbye, Captain Man and Kid Danger! And you're stupid little fiancée! Enjoy getting hitched in outer space for the rest of your---lives..." His screams were cut off as Ray, henry and (y/n) took a few steps forward and when the metal man turned around, he was met with their stony expressions. Oh, how they wanted to kick his ass into space too, maybe he'd bring their newfound friends back when he returned.

"You tried to trick us!" Ray realised as he looked from Stainless Steve to the path the Thumb Buddies took and back to his stupid shiny face. Right, it all made sense now, they were meant to run in there and get caught, not those guys. They had just been a very unfortunate accident, sneaky, little...

"You tried to shoot us into space!"

"No! No, I didn't!" Liar, liar...aluminium foil on fire. Steve cooly looked off to the right as they caught him out as if lying about what had just happened right in front of them would change anything. They might have looked dumb but they weren't, unlike him in his stupid metal outfit and facepaint. Why couldn't he just use a ski mask like most villains?

"You did too! We just watched your rocket fly away!" (y/n) spat, stepping forward as if she was about to punch the guy, but Ray's hand quickly caught her wrist to stop her from doing anything rash. She was upset, he could see that from her quivering bottom lip, so there was no knowing what was going through her mind and he didn't fancy letting her stand up to Steve alone, not when he was ready for a fight too.

"Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it, girlie? Run and hide while Captain Man saves your pretty little ass?" Steve growled, taking one step closer so (y/n) could feel his breath fan across her face as he sneered. Contrary to popular belief, Miss Danger did not need the assistance of Captain Man because she was not a damsel in distress, nor was she afraid to fight her own battles, no matter how much Ray wrapped her in cotton wool sometimes.

"I hope for your sake that you've got metal everywhere..." She smiled sourly, watching as the confusion flickered over his features for a second before she took the plunge and kneed him right in the balls. Yeah, it was all well and good having metal plates sewn into your jacket but when you forget about the squishy parts, none of that really matters.

Steve crumpled to the dirt and Ray and Henry witnessed the scene with wide eyes and their breath caught in their throats as the small girl took down a guy, who thought he could intimidate her. Well, here's to no little Steve's running around in the future.

And just for good measure, Henry found a discarded, crusty soda cup lying on the ground, which was filled with a suspicious liquid that could have been soda or something more human, so naturally, he savagely threw it at the man's body, hoping the smell stayed with him for days.

Ray would've done something too, he would've ensured that the villain stayed down until the cops arrived but he couldn't take his eyes off his sweet girl, who couldn't take her eyes off the rocket above their heads. It was just a speck at this point, only just in view and whilst she lamented the loss of the Thumb Buddies with Henry, he struggled to control his racing heart. It wasn't his fault that she was so hot when she fought.

"This is bad..." Henry said after a minute or two and he wasn't wrong. What could they do? They could muster the Schwoz's love shuttle and follow them but there was a strong chance they'd be dead by the time they managed to launch. Everything came back down to Earth eventually; the rocket wasn't big enough to fully explore the depths of space, and nor did it have the fuel to do so. It would circle the planet a few times, perhaps stray away just a little and then get caught by gravity again, at least, that's what (y/n) predicted. Was that good or bad though?

"Shhhh! We don't know what happened..." Ray silenced his sidekick as he snapped out of his filthy thoughts and promptly made a ruling on the matter. What the news didn't know wouldn't hurt them, right? As far as he was concerned, the Thumb Buddies were strangers to the Man Cave team and the night's events never occurred, which was cruel but what else could he do?

"Doofus, what are you talking about?" (y/n) asked with a frowning face. Sometimes, her dorkette just didn't get his dorkiness, not when she was racking her brain for a solution that didn't involve spending millions of dollars on a rescue mission.

"We were never here."

"We were never where?"

"We were somewhere else..."

"Where?"

"I wasn't here, and neither were you. In fact, I was at home with my fiancé all evening..." Oh, now she understood. Henry jumped onto his almost evil plan almost immediately as the man seized his girl by the arms and began to drag her away from the "scene of the crime". (y/n) didn't like it not one bit, but she allowed him to take her anyway--the mens rea to follow the actus reus as it were. Were they just gonna walk away and deny everything if the Thumb Buddies ever cropped up in conversation again? Yep, looked like it.

"Said Captain Man today in court when the prosecuting attorney questioned his whereabouts on the night of the disappearance," The heroine muttered bitterly as they scampered away from the house and back towards the Nacho Ball where they'd left the Man Van.

It wasn't a long walk but it certainly looked suspicious for any lowlife witnessing three superheroes running away like they were the bad guys. Perhaps they wouldn't snitch when the police came knocking on doors and asking questions?

"You got a better idea, sweet girl? Other than going home and watching that rom-com with Ted Iggle-Piggle?" Ray asked with soft yet serious eyes because he was up for suggestions, anything she could give him, he'd take. She had to believe him, he wanted to do something about their...predicament but he had no idea how to get those fellow dorks back. Maybe a good night's sleep in each other's arms would bring some inspiration.

"His name is Tom Hiddleston, and no, I don't. I have nothing..." (y/n) replied tiredly, not even having the energy to twitch the corners of her mouth into a smile. Going to bed and chilling with a crap movie did sound nice and her doofus always knew how to take her mind off the bad stuff that waited outside the four walls of their bedroom.

Sleep always brought better thoughts to her and who knows? Tomorrow might just give her an idea of what to do or maybe her worry would fade in the night, and honestly, she didn't know which was better. A hopeless struggle that might just fail or the prospect of carrying the guilt of never knowing for the rest of their lives? Her famous last words:

"Perhaps it's better to just forget. After all, I doubt we'll ever see them again..."

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