#Changless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 4 years

Text

Blameless? Shameless? More like Shiftless: Wrap-up

I grumbled and fumbled through the first book in the series Soulless or Brainless. I fumed and gloomed through the second book Changeless or Gormless.

Now we’re onto the last book of the (initial) trilogy Blameless or...how I originally wanted to riff it...

But, I do not have riffs for you for this book. Why? I thought this series would end because I would run out of energy for it. That’s not what happened...the true reason, is that this book is BY FAR the best out of the three, and that because of that most of my riffs aren’t very funny. Despite that, I would not classify this book as GOOD by my standards. I think it’s barely mediocre and fixed a lot of problems the other books had. So I feel as if I have to concede a bit here.

Instead of riffs, you’ll be getting a summary and my review so I feel as if I can tie this off with a nice little bow.

Summary:

Obvious spoilers ahead.

The world is steampunk supernatural Victorian England. Vampires and Werewolves are real things, and there are also soulless. Soulless are another set of supernaturals that can negate the powers of vampires and werewolves with touch. Alexia is a soulless, and is married to an important werewolf Maccon. Alexia becomes pregnant by Maccon, however werewolves are not supposed to be able to have children. So Maccon is convinced she cheated and abandons her.

Alexia goes back to live with her family. She discovers her one vampire friend has split town without warning, and that every other vampire is out to kill her for this pregnancy. However she wants to prove that the child is Maccon, so she decides to go to Italy with her friends. Italy is a country that’s run by religious zealots out to murder every single supernatural person and DESPITE THE OBVIOUS benefits a soulless could provide that organization they treat soulless people shitty too. However, they suspect that with all the research they’ve done, they will have some information which can prove Alexia right. So Alexia travels to Italy with her dead dad’s stoic bodyguard Floote, and with a woman who has a crush on her named LeFoux.

Meanwhile her husband Maccon is being shitfaced and angsting a bunch about this. His 2nd in command Lyall is taking care of all his duties. Eventually Maccon sobers up and publishes a public apology for Alexia and claims that the baby is in fact his. Also on this end it is discovered that Alexia’s vampire friend Akeldama had his boyfriend kidnapped. So Maccon and Lyall manage to rescue the boyfriend, murdering the head vampire and being forced to change the boyfriend into a werewolf to save his life.

On the trip to Italy they battle a bunch of vampires and meet some allies. When they get to Italy they’re captured by the religious Zealots known as the Templars. When the Templars find out she’s with child they lock her in the dungeon. However with the help of her friends and Maccon they rescue her. Maccon and Alexia make up and happy end.

My review:

The story in itself…is simply not good. I could list you plot holes by the dozen by neither of us has the patience for that I’m sure. I think the sticking point for me is that their whole mission feels pretty pointless. They go through all this hassle getting to Italy (which honestly seemed like a super bad idea) while also being attacked by vampires the entire time and for what? To find out that yes she could get pregnant from a werewolf?

….Don’t we already know that since she’s uhh pregnant from a werewolf?

The lore of this book is super bad. All the major plot points hinge on nobody understanding anything about a rare but super fascinating and important race of people. It feels as if the author doesn’t really care about her own lore, and makes everybody in her fictional world the same. Also it’s kinda hard for me to believe, that even if female soulless are super rare that literally in this world’s whole history a female soulless has become pregnant by a supernatural person twice. TWICE! IN IT’S ENTIRE HISTORY! SEEMS LEGIT!

But there is a reason this is the best out of the three I swear!

I think the story starts off really strong with believable and easy-to-understand exposition that draws you in. I legit read the first chapter of this book and was like, “WHAT THE FUCK, WE’RE A GOOD SERIES NOW!?!??!”

I think a large part of what makes it better for me is that they finally treat this series like an action/adventure. There are lot of vampire battles, fighting weird technology, and dramatic escapes using wild steampunk vehicles. We also have Maccon fighting werewolves and vampires, and dramatically saving a person from a glass bubble from the bottom of a river.

The steampunk technology used here is just straight up really lame and forced but I think that’s easily forgiven in a silly action adventure novel.

I think the POINT of books of this nature. Is the fun action! We also pace this all together well. We have suspense, breaks from the action, and it’s not all the same pow pow fight scene by a long shot. I will say there isn’t a lot of suspense that she won’t be able to make it out alive. Nobody dies or even sustains any kind of serious injury. The protagonists seem to fight as if they’re invincible, but oddly enough LeFoux spends a lot of the later scenes almost instantly getting knocked unconscious. Which I suppose is fine to up the ante of the tension but she’s the only one who gets that treatment and she gets it a lot…which is kind weird.

Speaking of LeFoux, I was really bummed about her and Alexia’s relationship in this book. One of the few enjoyable things about the last book was the lesbian flirting and the unresolved sexual tension between LeFoux and Alexia. Sure Alexia didn’t know lesbians were a THING but it was quite clear that Alexia was attracted to LeFoux. In this book LeFoux continues to flirt with Alexia but Alexia treats it like a droll annoyance. Quite frankly it doesn’t make any sense if you’ve read the last book. Alexia is at her lowest point in her relationship to her shitty husband, there is mutual attraction, LeFoux treats her nicely and is very willing, they’re off on an exciting and at points romantic tour of France, Alexia is on the cusp of a huge life change without her family or her husband’s support, and LeFoux is raising a child too. I get that Maccon/Alexia has got to be OTP and that you don’t want her to look like she would actually cheat since, cause she’s gotta be morally better than the negative reputation she’s getting in the press. Yet at no point is a relationship with LeFoux treated as even a temptation for her. There isn’t even like a sub plot where Alexia worries about hurting LeFoux’s feelings or clearly explains that they can’t be together. LeFoux has no reaction when Alexia reconciles with her husband. It’s not treated as fucking anything more than comedic swatting down of lesbian advances. So honestly? That kinda made me angry. Now Alexia did sexually assault LeFoux last book and totally doesn’t deserve her but to treat her now as they wacky queer who hits on your Mary-Sue so you remember your Mary-Sue is hot is utterly aggravating.

The story still has the major problem of being such a no bummers train that she won’t dare give LeFoux and Alexia a messy relationship. It could have been so much more compelling ugh! A part of me wonders if the author originally intended for the two to get together this novel since there was all that previous build up and the set up here makes it ideal. Yet an editor said BIG NO to it, because apparently a hero cheating in a book is considered one of the most toxic of novel poisons. OH WELL!

But a female/female relationship that is way better in this book? That would be the friendship between Ivy and Alexia. In the last book, Ivy was the stupid comic relief with romantic troubles. Alexia spent the last book just being a condescending asshole to her. Ivy never treated Alexia’s bullshit romantic troubles with anything other than support and respect but did not get the same in return. They did not seem like friends. Ivy was there to make Alexia look better and for a cheap laugh at Ivy’s expense even though she does nothing wrong. That was garbage. In this book however Ivy trusts Alexia that she didn’t cheat, gives her all her love and support, gives her tea for her trip, and competently runs LeFoux’s hat shop while they’re both away. In exchange Alexia appreciates what Ivy is doing and treats her like a smart person capable of doing difficult tasks.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. Ivy is MVP of this series and you CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND!

But while we’re talking about relationships the crux of this series is Alexia and Maccon. I wonder if this is my favorite book of the series because they barely interact in person. The one time at the end where they reconcile was unbearable. Basically the just barely escape the dungeon and the entire crew is standing just outside it. Alexia goes on a tirade about how much she hates Maccon but she’s very obviously pretending to be mad at him, and it’s the most pathetic scene in the series. It was rushed and painfully awkward. We just immediately forget about any possible danger and the other people there so Alexia can pointlessly pout while we all pretend its agency. (It’s not.) We also than very quickly transition them to a RANDOM barn so they can have sex, which is fade to black anyway.

I can’t help but view their reconciliation as a desperate woman who’s been through a lot, wants so badly for things to be less chaotic and familiar again that she capitulates to a shit boy garbage man. She has many, many, many reasons to be properly mad at him. She is shunned by her family, loses her job, becomes a social outcast who can’t walk down the street without being harassed, and is the target of open and constant vampire hostility. But he publishes a public apology and now they’re even. The public apology is talked about as ~humiliating~ but he loses nothing for it. The series tries to sell us that they’re equals in this relationship cause they sass each other. They are not equals in this relationship. The series never seems to acknowledge that Alexia does like 90% of the work and gets way more shit than Maccon could ever dream of. Not that the series has to have a political message, it just seems so doped up by our shit heterosexual culture that it has no self-awareness. I dislike Alexia for being a bad person, but Maccon is a worse person who doesn’t do anything good and lives a charmed life while his wife suffers quicker and more severely. And what do we get out of it? Dialog that can be boiled down to…

“Let’s have sex”

“No you’re a gross terrible very bad man!”

“Oh okay, I’ll go over here to contribute nothing and whine a lot.”

“I MEAN MAYBE IT WON’T BE SO BAD TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU???????????”

“…Is that a yes?”

“YOU VERY BAD MAN WHO IS GROSS AND TERRIBLE! I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU.............................................................

.............................................................….unless?”

I hate it very much.

So let’s talk other characters:

Floote is boring and pointless.

Tunstell shows up briefly to be comedic relief and really bad comedic relief at that. He shows up in LeFoux’s lab and opens with him being very afraid of her wacky technology but then immediately starts sticking his fingers in dangerous stuff. Way to contradict your character in under a paragraph.

The way Channing was established last book, while making him look like a shitbird, gave him personality. In this book he’s there as a protective prop to make Maccon look marginally better. None of his personality comes out at all, and despite the last book showing him as a romantic rival there is 0 of that in this book. I don’t think he has more than 3 lines of dialog.

LeFoux’s one friend was also pointless and personality-less to the point I can’t even be bother to look up his name. He existed so they could dramatically borrow his flying contraption.

The villains of this series are two-fold:

We have the Templars who are religious zealots who want to kill all supernaturals and are disgusted by Alexia’s kind despite how useful she could be. They were not good villains because they are utterly pathetic. They let Alexia and her friends have the run of the place. While they can go outside the compound, once captured, they’re followed to make sure they return. However, the author did not do an adequate job making that atmosphere…even stressful. The pack of them should be frightened by this. They should be treading on eggshells because one wrong move and it’s an inquisition for them! …No they zip around enjoying pesto and don’t seem to have a care in the world.

Even when the fight is brought to them? They spend their whole lives training to kill supernaturals but when they get a chance to do so to protect Alexia they’re not very good at it. 3 podunk humans managed to evade capture by the entire vampire community as they trotted through Europe but zealots trained from birth to stake vampires fall left and right when they’re attacked by them?

OH YEAH, REALLY FEELING LIKE THEY’RE A LEGIT THREAT! THANKS FOR THAT!

Oh but don’t worry we have another villain to help balance things out!

We have Langs-Dorf or whatever the fuck his name is. He is a heartless dude who researches soulless. He basically wants to use her for experiments so he later teams up with the Templars and spills the beans that’s she’s preggorz.

He, like the Templars, are flaccid shit tier babies. He’s the archetypal sniveling scientist, who can’t even outwit them. He honestly doesn’t even really get much screen-time. I am not exaggerating when I say they dedicate more time to describing what his irritating dog gets up to than what he does. They did that for comedic purposes, sure okay whatever. But it’s not funny and the ankle attacking just highlights how harmless he is as well.

So Alexia’s pregnancy?

I mean, they do try to give her a character arc on how she feels about carrying a child. It starts with her calling it an inconvenience and just assuming she’ll miscarry eventually. Yet later is like, “Well I guess it’s okay if it lives.” I’m glad they tried but they didn’t do a good job. Little time is dedicated to her personal feelings on the matter and her steps in pregnancy acceptance feel disjointed. It felt very much like,

Chapter 1:

This sucks.

Chapter 10:

Well I’m not morning sick today.

Chatper 20: I guess it’s okay.

I get we can’t talk about her wanting an abortion cause EVERYTHING IS GOOD TIMES but this no-bummers train cruising straight into never-frown-town we’re on here really stamps down her ability to have a MEANINGFUL arc not just on her role of her impending motherhood but like recognizing it’s going to be whole different human being. ISN’T HER PREGNANCY SUPPOSED TO BE THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS WHOLE BOOK?! Like at least 50 shades had Ana recognize her pregnancy as ANOTHER POTENTIAL PERSON and that she wanted to protect it even after her shitty husband lost his mind over it.

But I mean…for Alexia it’s at least in character cause she doesn’t give a shit about anything besides herself. Alexia has not won me over as a relatable protagonist I want to root for. She’s self-obsessed, and dumb. Yet the whole world clamors about how great she is. She never has consequences tied to her negative choices or personality traits. She never gets in trouble for going into dangerous situations without planning. Nor does she get in trouble for her lack of empathy, or belligerence. What she does get in trouble for is being born a soulless woman. It feeds her smug martyr complex and overall is pretty fucking annoying.

TL;DR

Plot and characters? Bad

But this time the story has action, suspense, good pacing, and Ivy never did anything wrong. Good!

#soulless #changless #blameless #shameless #riffs #review

2 notes · View notes

filliteapot · 4 years

Text

The new Furubana extra is such a good punch to all those who complained that “things went too smoothly and happily for Akito after everything” because no freaking way it could happen.

One of the things I always loved about the original Furuba was that the painful reality of the ending: the entire mess which is the Sohma family doesn’t get resolved and forgotten after the curse is lifted. There is no forgiveness of all and everything (if you thought it was a total happy end and complete forgiveness, just take a closer look at the last chapters of Furuba), old sins and old scars stay here, as well as the old patterns and habits of blaming someone else and denying your own responsibility that are not so easy to get rid of. I guess it’s more than clear that the supernatural aspect of the curse was the top of the iceberg, and even its deeper meaning such as “the bond” between the cursed ones is not everything: the curse, the bond and everything related to this always existed within this family that has way more problems than just it and is tbh rotten to the core by time the story unfolds. And when the bond is gone, it doesn’t mean that the way the family has lived all this time changes too - it has such a solid history of becoming a toxic and manipulative structure, and it didn’t affect just those who were related by some magical chain and people close to them. So, in fact, the curse breaks, but doesn’t disappear. “It had crept up beside me, wrapped itself around me, and has always been, not very far away” (c) Shiki. So, perhaps what Shiki decides for himself in the end is also the only way to fight against the “curse”: it’s keeping yourself “free of the curse” - trying to change your own life and things you are able to change, and protect yourself.

I love how Shiki describes these ways of family he had to deal with just because he is the son of his mother: "A curse of nothing being allowed to change". It’s probably the closest thing that sums up the curse for me too (since Furuba times). Moreover, this line is said in this extra chapter filled with ginkgo leaves, symbol of changlessness, an ummeasurable past (and also motherhood). I love the way Hajime defines it earlier in the story: “Expecting someone to smile and say thank you to their family, when that ‘family’ is stepping all over them -- that’s just abuse. It’s just a curse”. It’s something different from what I was just talking about, but I guess it shows that despite everyone suffered from the same thing, it was different for each of them, and they got hit by different aspects of this “curse”.

I’m glad Takaya made it more obvious. She impressed me one more time.

#fruits basket #fruits basket another #furuba spoilers #natsuki takaya #teapot and onigiri #shiki sohma #akito sohma #i once said beware of my furubana rants so take this

236 notes · View notes

rjmxrell · 4 years

Quote

The mind changes, thoughts and emotions come and go, obscuring the changless background of awareness which is always there beyond the mind.

1 note · View note

quoteablebooks · 3 years

Text

Genre: Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Paranormal, Romance

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars Summary:

Alexia Maccon, the Lady Woolsey, awakens in the wee hours of the mid-afternoon to find her husband, who should be decently asleep like any normal werewolf, yelling at the top of his lungs. Then he disappears; leaving her to deal with a regiment of supernatural soldiers encamped on her doorstep, a plethora of exorcised ghosts, and an angry Queen Victoria. But Alexia is armed with her trusty parasol, the latest fashions, and an arsenal of biting civility. So even when her investigations take her to Scotland, the backwater of ugly waistcoats, she is prepared: upending werewolf pack dynamics as only the soulless can. She might even find time to track down her wayward husband, if she feels like it. CHANGELESS is the second book of the Parasol Protectorate series: a comedy of manners set in Victorian London, full of werewolves, vampires, dirigibles, and tea-drinking.

*Opinions*

Changeless is the second novel in the parasol protectorate series and starts a couple of months after the events of Soulless. Alexia Tarabotti, now Lady Maccon, has settled into her married life as Alpha female of the Woolsey pack and was appointed muhjah of Queen Victoria to the Shadow Council. However, as with most things in Alexia’s life, nothing stays simple for long and soon her husband is off on Bureau for Unnatural Registration business without telling her, supernaturals have been turned mortal though no one knows why, and there is an entire regiment setting up camp on her front lawn. Alexia is pulled into a plot that could change the face of London’s supernatural scene and politics forever which takes her to the most unexpected place, the Scottish Highlands to solve the mystery of her husband's past and this humanization disease with an unwanted entourage and a parasol in tow.

I have to start this review by saying that I am thoroughly enjoying all the aspects of this series. It is a wonderful mixture of humor, wit, mystery, and emotion to keep the reader entertained from cover to cover. The main characters are well-rounded with wonderful interactions and the side characters are caricatures that don’t take themselves too seriously, which makes them charming. Well, everyone except Felicity Loontwill whose presence in this story I did not understand and she was a thoroughly unlikable character. However, the part of this series that I find most interesting is the world that Carriger has created that mixes supernatural and science in Victorian England. Mortals know that the supernatural set runs England and it would make sense that they would want to do something to get the upper hand. Unlike in the first novel where scientists were seen as nothing but evil fanatics, we are given a rather neutral and enthusiastic character in Genevieve Lefoux. While it is obvious that Madame Lefoux has her own goals, she is also seen to have a softer side that makes her much more likable than the Hypocras Club scientists.

Madame Lefoux was a rather interesting character in this novel, a true neutral party that was working with every faction of supernatural and scientist. I have to admit that in the Finishing School Series I found Madame Lefoux, then Vieve, but it was because she was a well-written character that was meant to be selfish and focused solely on her own ambitions and scientific advancement. Now we have a grown-up Madame Lefoux who seems to have everything she wanted in the first series, along with a few things that are unexpected, like a son and the ghost of her aunt hanging about. Her quiet confidence was very charming and her flirting with Alexia was both heartwarming and entertaining. I do hope she will continue to be part of the series.

Another familiar face was that of Lady Kingair, previously known as Sidheag Maccon. I had an almost opposite reaction to her grown-up persona, finding her hard to like in this novel due to how abrasive she was. I’m not saying that is a bad thing, Sidheag has been through quite a bit since she left Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality, but as we are supposed to be sympathetic to Alexia she is not set up as a friendly character. I’m not sure if she will reappear, but I am glad to see that even though she wasn’t Mademoiselle Geraldine’s best pupil, she still got her heart's desire.

In the first novel, I made the comment that the plot took a bit of a back seat to the romance, but that was not the case in this novel. Lord Maccon is gone for a lot of the first fourth of the story and even when Alexia follows him to Scotland their affections take a back seat to the investigation as to why the Kingair pack is currently mortal. They are quickly becoming one of my favorite couples, though slightly abrasive at times, I felt as if the romance was perfectly interspersed in the events of the novel. We also see Alexia as more of an active agent instead of a woman that things are happening to, which is always a nice change. While she is not trained in combat, Alexia is smart enough to know how to use her body to her advantage when needed and her sharp mind when physical altercations aren’t necessary. Alexia continues to be a well-rounded heroine that attempts to keep as many social graces as possible while still getting straight to the point.

While I figured out the cause of the humanization curse pretty early on, I have to be very candid that I did not see the twist at the end of the book coming. Not only didn’t I see it coming, but I was also rather emotionally affected by the last chapter of the book. I think part of the reason was that Alexia has taken just about everything that had happened to her in stride but was left completely unprepared and speechless in this situation, which elicits a response in the reader. I was rather upset that I read it before bed so I couldn’t move onto the next book right away. I’ve no idea where the story is going, but I am excited to find out.

This is a wonderful sequel to Soulless as Carriger really starts to play in the world that she created in the first novel. While the stone stays lighthearted, there are moments of true heart and deep questions that make the reader think. After that ending, I literally can’t wait to see what happens next.

#book review #review #booklr #Changless #A Parasol Protectorate Novel #Gail Carriger #5 out of 5 stars

0 notes

parabola-magazine · 5 years

Photo

"You realize you are in an environment that you must adapt to; the environment is not going adapt itself to you. If you are backpacking high up in the mountains, you adapt, go home, or die. In a Zen temple, you either adapt yourself to the procedures of that temple or you go home. There is no use arguing with anybody about it, as the rules are not going to change for you, and if you are stuck in your ego, it can be very difficult."

—Adyashanti explores backpacking in deepest Reality in the Spring Issue: CHANGE & THE CHANGLESS.

Read it here. Pictured: Landscape. Kanō Isen’in. Edo period, c. 1802-1816, ink and color on paper. Honolulu Museum of Art

#Adyashanti #Parabola Magazine #backpacking #change #changeless

13 notes · View notes

ariannasart · 3 years

Text

Wider World Research

In my little black penguin book(remember, body...) there is quite a few mentions of someone called "Eros" the two main ones are "a simple and true child of Eros" (40) and "Eros surged within his perfect limbs and on his lips"(36) . From research of this book and the author , this is an erotic novel, which would explain why Eros has been mentioned, the writer is also greek and the book it set in Alexandria, a city in Egypt.

Eros is the Greek God of love, lust and sex aswell as fertility, the word erotic was actually taken from his name. Many believe his is son of Aphrodite (goddess of love). Eros is personified in both hetero and homosexual relationships to represent lust. Many consider him as the protector of same sex relationships and is also thought to have evolved into cupid. Cupid is typically shown blindfolded which implies the well known quote "love is blind". As cupid he is often invoked as god of pure love , especially around valentines day but in his original form he is mainly about lust and passion.

Along with Hermes and Heracles , Eros is part of the triad that played a role in homoerotic relationships. Eros also played a large bit in courtship aswell. Many people leave offerings at his temple , these are in the form of: plants, flowers, vessels filled with sacred oils and wine ,jewellery and sacrifices.

This can then be linked to Ishtar, the pagan, assyrian and babylonian goddess of fertility and sex. Easter was originally the celebration of Ishtar but was almost forgotten about after christianity. Her symbols are the things we still see at Easter today like bunnies or eggs.

"The Goddess" is the wicca giver of fertility, love and abundance. She is also the embodiment of fertility. She is seen in the moon, sea and the green growth of the spring. Many names have been given to her, such as: Queen of heaven, Mother of the Gods that made the Gods, the divine source, the Universal Matrix, the great mother and many more.

Symbols are used to honour her, these can include cauldrons , cups, labrys, spetaled flower, the mirror, necklaces, seashells , Pearl's , silvers, emerald and others. The goddess also has sacred animals , these animals are rabbits, bears, owls, wrens, dolphins and bees to name a few. The goddess is envisioned in many ways , some are : a crone walking by waning moonlight seeking out the weak and forlorn, a celestial diety striding across the sky with stardust falling from her heels, but no matter how shes envisioned she is an omnipresent, changless, and eternal being.

The asemic writing we did earlier in the project is also very similar to the witches alphabet . It shows something that only certain people should be able to read and holds a secret message, just like the witches alphabet.

1 note · View note

fuckyeahgailcarriger · 7 years

Photo

We’re running a Biffy/Lyall Read Along to build up to the release of Romancing the Werewolf on November 5th!

Are you ready to re-live all the Biffy/Lyall feels before Miss Gail gives us our happy ending? We are! Here’s our schedule:

October 1-7: Soulless

October 8-14: Changless

October 15-21: Blameless

October 22-28: Heartless

October 29-November 4: Timeless

For our intrepid readers who can read more than a book a week, feel free to also read Prudence and Imprudence in preparation as well!

Also remember these dates:

November 5, 2017: Romancing the Werewolf comes out!

November 13, 2017: Romancing the Werewolf Facebook Live Launch Event! Now that you’ve read the book, go ask Gail all of your questions about it! (Or just fangirl a lot with other fans!)

Remember to pre-order Romancing the Werewolf so you can get it as soon as it releases! We can’t wait to read-along with you!

#gail carriger #gailcarriger #romancing the werewolf #randolph lyall #sandalio de rabbifino #gay romance #werewolf romance #werewolf #mlm fiction #science fiction #christmas romance #mlm romance #mlm

98 notes · View notes

druggeddraccus · 6 years

Text

I’ve been listening to Changless by Gail Carriger...and I’ve been struggling to finish it...the first book was good, but this one is a little annoying...It’s just not my cup of tea, I probably won’t listen to any more of the series after I finish this one.

#changeless #gail carriger #parasol protectorate

4 notes · View notes

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it. Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke. Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke. Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning. Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~ But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die. Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident. A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit? But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac. She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman. I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY? To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed. She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair. Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!” To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal. Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered. Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is. But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy. We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible. Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her. But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her. The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be. I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight. So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up. It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting. I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest. I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL! YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO! But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it. She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around. LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!) It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!” To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born. She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW! What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that. Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality. And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.

#changless #gormless #riffs #soulless #riffing

2 notes · View notes