#Christmas makes zero fucking sense as of now

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

If you are trying for a virgin Mary to birth by Christmas you better let God's spirit dump a load of cum in you soon.

[nicomundthered]

I saw the gifts from violent night and he is🥵, I know it’s may but what you say about a story with our Santa daddy, thank youu

Santa May-be?

pairing: Nicomund(Santa) x fem! reader

summary: you are being very naughty, and Santa decides to make a surprise visit.

tags: 18+ this is mostly smut, a little fluff, but it’s really just smut.

word count: 7k | ao3

a/n: just going to be completely honest here, I don't know where this came from. Apparently I've been neglecting David because damn! I got carried away. I hope you were asking for smut because this is f*cking filthy. Like really this is only my second attempt at smut and…I am kinda scared.

Anyway thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy!

masterlist

18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+ 18+

Even Santa gets horny in May as it turns out.

Which was unusual. Nicomund has been Santa Claus for over a thousand years now. Time was different for him. One day out of the year felt like weeks, while the other 364 flew by.

That was at least until he started sleeping with you.

It had become his favorite part about Christmas which in retrospect was unfortunate. It used to be solely–unselfishly, for the kids but now…now he could not wait for his present. Which just so happened to be you.

Yes, since you entered his life he struggled through the other 364 days.

It didn't help that you were being unusually active this week. He sat in his workshop and had your notifications turned up loudly on his naughty/nice list. With each naughty deed you did, Carol of the Bells played loudly in the wrong key- indicating that you were in fact, being naughty.

At first he found it amusing, but after the third time just this morning he was getting pissed.

He knew what you were doing. You weren't a bad girl, at least not in the literal sense. No, you only pinged up naughty when you pleasured yourself or had sex. And that wasn't normal for the list. It normally kept zero tabs on people's sexual encounters. He wasn't exactly sure as to why it focused on yours.

Well he might have an idea – you see he and the list were…connected. And the things that he deemed naughty became naughty. He had that power and he himself had no clue how to control it, it just happened.

And for some reason, whatever did control it, had fixated on you.

He didn't have the tendency for jealousy, but he had grown quite enamored by you. It started a few Christmases ago when he heard you soft gasps as you were masterbating in your bedroom. He wasn't being pervy or anything, but the only thing you wanted that year was a toy. And he had it wrapped and in his hand. He only wanted to help you (at least that's what he told himself).

You were shocked at first but then saw the large and attractive man, and invited him to show you how it worked. He stayed for far so long that he had to practically throw the rest of the presents down their respective chimneys as he quickly darted around the rest of the world.

The year after, he brought you a new toy. One that he had made himself, out of a cast of his own erect penis. He’ll never forget how entranced you were by it. The way you told him how big and beautiful it was. The way you wrapped your fingers around it while making eye contact with him.

And it wasn’t until the Christmas after that that he even fucked you. When you held his cock in your hand the first time you muttered in his ear, “I knew it was yours”.

And last Christmas things had escalated. After three rounds and a few hours, he had told you his name. And then for a reason he had absolutely no fucking clue why, he told you about his past while you were satiated and playing with his chest hair.

It was domestic and he didn't do domestic. He was an ancient mythical being, not a human.

In short he had no clue what you were doing to him. You were always on his mind and you were making him very jealous and painfully horny in May. A point in his year that usually flew by, came to a sudden standstill.

If this happened in July at least he could use Christmas in July as an excuse…but May??? It wasn't even halfway until Christmas.

His head snapped as he heard Carol of the Bells again and just like Pavlov's dog, his cock responded to the sound. Blood quickly engorged his member and his balls tightened as if already ready for release.

He had it bad.

He pulled his cock from his red silk pants. He was already leaking and he knew this wouldn't take long at all. This was his fourth painful erection of the day and he was red and sensitive.

He annoyingly looked over to his trash bin and saw all of the used tissues just from today, mere hours in fact. You were turning him into a damn sex puppet is what you were doing.

He didn't bother wetting his hand as he roughly gripped his aching cock. He wanted the burn, he welcomed the pain. Maybe if he jerked off enough like this it would have an adverse reaction and stop him from getting SO damn hard everytime he thought about you.

It took seven, maybe eight rough tugs, all he had to do was think about you enjoying the toy he made you. Then he cried out as his painfully throbbing member spilled his seed- shooting it out all over his hand, pants, and desk.

This time there was very little satisfaction, he sought this release out of necessity because he didn't have the self discipline to not think about you. His cock was very raw now and he grunted and shuddered as he carefully placed himself back in his underwear.

After his breathing and wandering mind calmed down, he put himself in a bad mood picturing you at someone else's house. He angrily smacked his desk and then threw his stein- still full of steaming hot coffee against the wall of his workshop.

He huffed, dramatically crossed his arms, and sat back in his chair. He thought he was above this but as it turns out he wasn't. He opened his desk drawer and rolled out his large map. He spoke your name and his magical map located you.

Miami, Florida.

That explains it, he thought. At the beach, on a vacation…with whom he wondered. Who was so good that you had to be with them four times in a day?

Turns out you were with a couple of friends, all of which he knew of. But then he came across somebody new. Well not new to him, but most certainly new to you.

And this dude made Nicomund’s skin crawl. He had been on the naughty list his whole life, and not because of something particular that Nicomund just happened to make up. No, this guy was actually by the literal definition naughty. Most alarmingly, he's been known to treat women poorly.

Oh no, this won't do.

You were an angel and deserved to be treated like one. You were way too good for this piece of shit and if Nicomund was thinking clearly, he'd have noticed just how possessive he was becoming over you.

But he wasn't. He changed his clothes with an angry scowl on his face.

Now where was his sunglasses?

You were having an ok time. Your friends were already on the beach and your boyfriend was out buying alcohol for tonight. So you were enjoying a little, much needed alone time.

And by much needed, you mean – you finally got to cum.

Your boyfriend had fucked you three times this morning. Once he came so quickly and you didn't even have time to become lubricated. The second time he got into the shower right after he finished. You had enough time to grab Nicomund’s dildo from your bag, and god did you come quickly as the fullness stretched you.

The third time, if you even count it as such, he just wanted you to blow him before he left. You got on your knees and took his average dick down your throat and had him cumming in under four minutes.

As soon as he left you got out the dildo again and came even quicker than he had. It was nowhere near as satisfying as the real thing, but it most certainly was better than any alternative.

Little did either of you know that the cast he made of himself was magical. And that everytime you used it he could feel the phantom grasp of your wet pussy and you could feel his warm velvet hardness. What he attributed to his Pavlovian response or his imaginative mind was actually just your magical cunt. And what you thought was just being properly filled was actually his perfect erection.

You'd both eventually figure this out and make proper use of it and maybe find out new abilities, but at this time you were both clueless.

You cleaned up your mess. You always flooded any surface you were on when you used the toy. And then you put on your bikini. It was red and the bottoms showed…a lot of your ass, but this was for the most part an adult beach so you didn't find yourself embarrassed or worried about children's eyes.

Just as you grabbed the sunscreen there was a loud banging at the door. On first instinct you grabbed your phone and a heavy sculpture of a seahorse to use for self defense. Which looked ridiculous but you knew how people robbed these beach houses. Then you walked over to the door.

You desperately hoped that it was just one of your friends needing to use the bathroom or your boyfriend with his handful of groceries, but you knew that it hadn't been long enough for that.

The banging happened again, this time louder and more persistent.

“Who is it?” you said as confidently as you could manage.

“Open up,” the voice was muffled through the thick door but it was still loud and to be honest scary as fuck.

“Not until you tell me who it is.”

You could almost hear a growl through the door, which sounded oddly familiar. “If you don’t open this door right now you wont get anything for Christmas this year.”

It only took your brain seconds to put the pieces together, “Nic?”

“Yes, now open up or I’ll break down the door.”

You complied quickly and swung open the door, almost dropping the heavy seahorse in your hand.

Your eyes widened when you saw him. He was wearing a short sleeve red and green Hawaiian shirt and black shorts that almost looked like swim trunks. He had on sunglasses and his hair was in a bun.

This would be funny – this should be funny. Santa Claus in Miami dressed to go to the beach should be humorous. But it soooo wasn't.

It was rare you two were ever standing when you were around one another and if you were, he was holding you up, so you sometimes forgot just how tall he was.

His arms and shoulders looked absolutely massive. You practically gulped when you remembered just how strong they are. He looked a little leaner to you. Probably because of the time of the year. You wanted him healthy but you almost frowned – you really liked his belly.

But what was most striking to you was his skin. True you had seen him naked many times but always at night, with soft lighting. Now you could see just how milky white he was in contrast to his numerous tattoos. How absolutely soft and smooth his skin appeared, which you knew was factual. And now the smattering of dark gray almost black hairs on his forearms stood out.

He made your mouth water.

But when you had snapped out of your daze you got worried. Why was he here?

“Is everything ok?” you asked with true concern displayed on your features. Your only contact with him was on the night before Christmas. What was he doing here in May?

He looked like he was snapping out of a daze of his own, “No, everything's not ok,” he ground out through his clenched teeth.

He opened the door further and stepped inside.

“Where is he?”

“Who?” you knew who he was probably talking about but your brain wasn't exactly functioning currently.

“You know damn well who I'm talking about.” He called out a few times and looked around. When he was satisfied he looked back at you.

Oh, he was jealous. The thought made you press your thighs together.

He noticed and it made him take a deep controlling breath in. He threw off his sunglasses not caring in the slightest where they landed.

“Shut the damn door and come here.”

You turned quickly and shut the door, but struggled to lock it because of what all was in your hands.

You heard him hiss. You then blushed as you realized your almost bare ass was now facing him. You then heard his heavy footsteps behind you.

“You are having such a naughty year,” he grabbed both of your ass cheeks that were hanging out of your skimpy bikini bottoms.

He smacked them a few times and watched them jiggle, he felt himself immediately harden. “On full display for the world to see. Do you have any idea how many people you'll put on the naughty list wearing this?”

He suddenly yanked them down your legs and pressed your front half hard against the door, while bringing your bottom half up and closer to him. You dropped both the seahorse and your phone. Both shattered but thankfully missed your feet, you didn't flinch, there was only one thing on your mind.

He shoved his face into your crease.

With your face to the door you didn't even notice that he had gotten on his knees, and you moaned in surprise and absolute delight as he put his face into you from behind.

He lifted his face by the smallest of margins from your center, “When I passed you I could smell him on you,” he went back to your crease momentarily and hummed, “I only smell you now.”

“Oh gah,” you felt a wave of moisture flood you. You may be naughty but he was dirty, and man was it a turn on for you.

“I was worried,” he used his nose to run through your folds, “Don’t want you to smell like anyone else.” He had no clue what he was admitting to you, you didn't either- you were far too aroused.

“Nic–”

He suddenly added his tongue to the mix. Licking you up and down, “You don't taste like him either,” he lapped at your entrance tasting your wetness, “Just taste like mine.”

You moaned sinfully, “Let’s go to the…”

He lunged his tongue into your tight wet little hole. It made you arch back and jam your ass hard into his face.

“Yes, just like that.” he groaned loudly, vibrating your core. You could barely hear him over his face being absolutely suffocated by you. You weren't worried for him though, he loved it when you sat on his face. And the amount of times he's asked you to do it…you knew that his lung capacity was very good.

Juices and his drool were flowing down your thighs and down his chin soaking the collar of his shirt. The wet lapping of his tongue and your ragged breathing were the only two sounds.

His tongue went farther and somehow farther still, until he started poking at your favorite spot. You start clawing at the door, and you almost couldn't believe it – you were about to come on his tongue.

Now you could blame it on many things, after all you were extremely sensitive and yearning from a day of unfulfilling activities, but regardless, when his tongue started poking your g-spot you started squirting all on him.

He was absolutely relentless until he got a somewhat heavy flow started and then he just opened his mouth and drank you in.

“That's a good girl, give it to me,” he said as you continued to rain down into his mouth.

Your legs started shaking and you suddenly felt like you could no longer stand. He read you perfectly and stood lifting your trembling soaked body up with his.

You put your arms around him and looked at him in such a pleasant daze. You softly gasped as you saw how blown his pupils were, more black than blue. His beard was absolutely soaked making it look a couple of shades darker, and he had a smirk on his handsome face.

You cupped his face with both hands and kissed him, tasting the salty-sweet tang from yourself along with Nicomund’s wonderfully delicious mouth. And then you pulled away from the kiss and smacked at his frim chest.

“What do you think you're doing?”

He laughed and started walking you to the bedroom.

“You can't just fuck me –”

He threw you to the center of the large bed. That only shut you up for a second.

“I have a boyfriend you can't just —”

He laid halfway across the bed just so he was face to face with your drenched swollen cunt. He roughly parted your legs. “There she is,” his voice was low as he complimented your pussy.

“Nic…OH!”

He roughly pressed his face into you again. Though this time since he is facing it, his tongue and nose kept brushing your overly sensitive clit, making it a very different experience.

He used his hands for the first time and reached up to grab your covered breasts. His large hands covered them as he not so gently massaged them. Your nipples were already painfully hard and that made him hum into your core once again.

“Take this off,” he commanded as he started to make out with your folds. The smacking sounds of his skillful lips just made you wetter.

You complied quickly, jerking the top over your head. You propped yourself on your elbows so you could look down at him.

His mouth then began to suck. He sucked each fold, and then not as an afterthought, but instead to build the anticipation he finally finally sucked your clit.

Your eyes rolled back a little and you gave a throaty exhale.

He paused and chuckled into you. He released your breasts and moved his hands underneath you to slightly tip your hips up for him. “Hold your legs out for me.”

You did as he requested and held your ankles and spread your legs as wide as you could. You felt your muscles stretch but wanted to give him as much access as you were able to.

He tilted you up a little more, and then started moving you up and down on his face as he continued to lick. The rocking motion was helping him reach the whole length of your crease quickly. The sloppy wet sounds kept getting louder as he kept moving you against his face.

You were moaning like crazy now, and just when you felt your legs start to ache from the stretch he pushed your legs together and pushed them up and back towards your head in a half-backwards roll. He held your legs together tightly.

From this position he could tell just how pink and puffy he had made your pussy, “You like this baby?” he playfully smacked your sensitive cunt a few times. The smacking sounded wet and little drops of your arousal splashed all over the bed and drenched his hand.

“Yes!” he barely gave you a chance to yelp out before he pushed his middle finger inside of you.

“Oh sweetheart you are already gripping me like you're about to cum.”

His voice shot straight through you making you grip even tighter and flutter around his large digit. He pumped in and out a few times, moving slowly, driving you insane. Of course now he'd choose to play with you.

“Give me my finger back baby,” he laughed and slowly pulled it out of you. A long strand of your arousal followed and he slurped it all into his mouth, “I’m not done eating you yet. You taste so damn good.”

He pushed your legs back farther behind your head and held your hips high up towards his face. He was now kneeling on the bed, with a huge tent in his shorts, you desperately tried to grab it. He moved his hips just out of your grasp, “Not yet. You don't get what you want yet. You've been a bad girl.”

He held your cunt so high up now he barely had to bow his head to reach it. You crossed your ankles behind your head as he started to move his mouth against you roughly. Your own body was bent far and weighed down by your lower half, it made it hard to breathe, but the constricted airflow somehow turned you on even further.

He sped his licking, with one hand keeping your legs together while the other occasionally smacked your ass. His beard was beginning to burn you in the best way possible.

“Nicomund pleeeaseee.”

It was the sound of his full name that made him give you pity. If this were up to him he would continue to lick and suck you for hours. He loved your taste and smell, and just getting it once a year was nowhere near enough.

Almost reluctantly he slowly placed two fingers inside of you, you moaned at the stretch, and then he focused on sucking your swollen clit while pumping into you, curling his fingers with each insertion.

It took absolutely no time and you exploded on his fingers. Gravity caused your cum to dribble down your stomach past your breasts. You felt the sheets beneath you soak. And this time your vision did fade out but only momentarily.

As you came down you were still pulsing, and then all of the sudden you felt the pressure again. All of the sudden it felt like too much. He was still licking, even quicker it felt like. You desperately tried to back away, the overstimulation was extreme.

“Nic, st- stop.” you kept trying to slide back but he held you firmly. You weren't going anywhere.

His licking and slurping became even more intense, and in record time your eyes rolled way back into your head and your body shook violently. You tried to push his head away, but by the way you were cumming he could tell that you didn't mean it.

When you finally started to come down from your third orgasm he dramatically slowed down his sucking and moved back to slow licks up and down your slit.

You jerk slightly every time he made it past your clit but it was bearable. He was slowly coaxing you down, almost lovingly you thought.

When you finally could open your eyes, you looked up at him and smiled. He gave you a suck on your inner thigh that would leave a mark. You knew that he did it for one specific reason, but you didn't really want to think about what this meant for your relationship…if you could even call it that. But that was to think about later…

After you’ve had his cock.

“Hey,” you said as he slowly laid your lower half down and then crawled his way up your damp body. He was still fully clothed and as he laid gently on top of you and gave you a deep kiss, you had the thought that he was soaking up your juices with his shirt for later. That's how he was, dirty.

“Hey,” he said after the breathtakingly sweet kiss.

“What are you doing here?” you moved a strand of hair that fell from his bun out of the way.

“Christmas is too far away.”

You looked at him as if to say yeaaaah?

“I- I missed you.”

You smiled and kissed him again.

“I missed you too.”

“Did you you?” he looked at you skeptically, his brows furrowing, “Seems like you've been filling your time with –”

“Shut up,” and then you chuckled.

“What?” he said, almost annoyed.

“I am making Father Christmas jealous. Who woulda thought it?” you laughed again.

“It’s not funny. He's not a good guy.”

“I’m a grown woman and I can take care of myself,” you reached down and grabbed his hard as steel cock.

He visibly shuddered as you started slowly moving up and down his clothed erection, “He’s- he is not…been on the – for all, of…his - life.”

“Shhh it's ok,” you soothed as he struggled speaking. “Let me take care of you now.”

He nodded, completely silent except for his deep breaths in and out from his nose.

This was unusual for him and you filed it back into your mind to bring up later. He was normally rough and dominant, which to be fair he has been, but suddenly he had given you all the power. Like he desperately needed this but was too proud to tell you that.

You slid down his shorts and gasped at how purple and engorged he seemed.

“I've had an- eventful day as well.”

You grabbed him softly because he almost looked like he was in pain, and you didn't want to hurt him.

“Don’t you dare. Grab it!”

You did firmly, and his head bowed and touched your forehead, “Fuck you have no- no idea how- how good that feels.” he kissed you again, you bit his bottom lip and he groaned into your mouth.

“Lay back,” you whispered.

He did and your hands left his cock and started unbuttoning his shirt. He grunted in displeasure, “Get back down there now,” he yanked the shirt off buttons flying everywhere and the material ripped in two.

You pussy pulsed at the sight. He was just so fucking strong.

You moved down him slowly wanting to tease but knowing by the look of his purple leaking member, he wasn't up for that.

And besides, now you knew that it was time to treat him. Little did he know that for the past five or so months, ok it was after you begged to suck him off last Christmas but he didn't let you, since then you've been practicing on his dildo. You could now take almost all of it down your throat and you couldn't wait to show him.

You took him in your hand and gave his leaking slit a lick. He was salty and musky just like you liked him.

His hips jerked up and you playfully said, “I believe after what you put me through –”

“Please don’t, I ne- need you now.”

You realized that for him to ask this he was desperate. And judging by the look of him, he was in pain.

You nodded your ok and his shoulders relaxed a little.

Then you laid on your stomach and propped yourself up on his thick thighs. You gave him a few firm strokes and then licked the underside of him. He groaned and you smirked, you were about to blow his mind.

You sucked on his tip and he squirmed. He opened his mouth to beg again, you knew it, you could see it in his body language and so you abruptly opened your throat and swallowed him down.

His upper and lower body jerked up like he was trying to do an abdominal exercise. His eyes shot to you, wide and shocked, and he hissed out “Oh fuck!”

You stayed all the way to his base. Your nose in his curls and your chin pressed to his balls. You counted to fifteen slowly.

For the first time in a long time, he didn't know what to do. His fists gripped the sheets roughly, peeling them from the mattress. His breathing was almost embarrassingly loud and his sole focus was on not spilling down your glorious throat.

You slowly sucked your way off of him. Spit connected you to his cock even as you pulled away to smile at him.

“I can't take much of that baby.”

“Much of what?” you smirked and launched him down your throat again. This time with his cock sheathed you moved your tongue and lapped at his balls. You were proud of yourself and only slightly gagged once.

This time he was better prepared but only just, “Your boyfriend teach you that?”

You knew that he was desperately trying to keep from cumming. He was wound tighter than you'd ever seen him, his muscles were flexed and shaking, but for some reason he didn't want to cum yet. You imagine that mentioning your boyfriend did bring his arousal down a few notches.

“Nope,” you said as your mouth popped off of him. “I've been practicing on your dildo for your Christmas present.”

His mouth opened in disbelief. Naughty!!!

“That’s very –”

You went down again, but this time continued moving at a slow pace – all the way to the tip of him, down all the way to his base.

That sparked something in him and he put one hand on the back of your head and one caressed your throat. He pushed your head up and down roughly, while simultaneously feeling his cock make your throat swell. Believe it or not this was the first time that he'd actually experienced true deepthroat.

Others had tried but he was too long and girthy, but you, you naughty thing- were taking him like it was your only mission.

Controlling your gag reflex made your eyes tear up and turn red. Spit was pouring out of your mouth now and puddling at his base. He was being rough but it was the good kind of rough. You wanted him to enjoy this, you had practiced a lot for this moment.

And by the looks of him he was most certainly enjoying it. More hair had spilled from his bun. His skin was tinged pink and had a thin sheen of sweat. Every line and wrinkle on his face was amplified by his scrunched up expression, fully concentrated on what you were doing.

He had kept your mouth off of him for the most part in your previous encounters. That was because he enjoyed being inside of you so much he didn't want to waste a minute. But what he just found out was that he was still inside of you this way. And it shocked him at how much you seemed to be enjoying it as well.

You pulled away needing a breather and to give your jaw a little break. You gasped for air a few times and spit all the saliva pouring out of your mouth onto his cock.

You went back down quickly taking him off guard this time. You wanted to feel him spill down your throat, and by the way his head shot back and his balls tightened you knew that any second now you were going to get what you wanted.

“Off,” he practically croaked.

You kept sucking, your sounds were getting ridiculously sloppy.

“Get off,” you could tell that his heart wasn't in his command. He tried to move your head back but you stubbornly fought back, taking him deep.

“STOP IT!” his yell made you still and he pulled your head from him, you sucked as hard as you could on the way up. “Fuck!”

He pulled you to him so your mouth was nowhere near his throbbing member. He took a couple of deep breaths and tried his best to get off the edge. He managed but only just, and only with his eyes glued shut.

“Did you like that?” you cooed as you rubbed his broad-heaving chest.

“You know I fucking did.” He pulled you down for a kiss. You lost your balance and landed on top of him.Your lips were sensitive from the work they’d just done, and his beard lightly tickled them.

Then he absolutely claimed your mouth, every nook was his.

He never enjoyed kissing this much, but kissing you was different. There was something he liked about it, a little too much. He loved your soft lips and when your tongue danced with his it turned him on so much.

“I need you to get on all fours. And I need you to cum quickly.” You continued kissing him and made your way down his neck. “You hear me?”

He rubbed his hand on your lower back as you continued to nip and suck on his neck. You made your way to a scar on his clavicle. He hissed and then smacked your ass, stopping your descent.

“Hey!” You whined.

“I said, did you hear me?”

You shook your head no and moved back in for a kiss. Your eyes were heavily lidded and your own arousal was back at full volume. You were so far gone you couldn't concentrate.

He held you back, “Hey, look at me.”

You did. You blinked at him almost lazily, and bit your lip.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that.” His thumb caressed your bottom lip as your teeth released it. You suckled at his digit. His eyes darkened even further and he slowly said, “I need you to get on your hands and your knees and I need you to cum quick sweetheart.”

You complied and slowly got into position. You were thankful that he wanted you this way. You never lasted long when he took you from behind.

He sat up and damn near passed out. There was too much blood heading south and not enough heading to his brain. He waited until his head rush went away and scooted behind you.

He rammed into you suddenly. You were both so well lubricated he knew that he could without causing you any pain, well real pain at least.

“Nic!”

He took no mercy. He was gone, long gone. His cock disappeared into you fully. He pistoned into you with short, rough strokes. Hitting you right where you needed to be hit repeatedly.

You rested your upper body on the bed, sticking your hips higher. Which made him ram into your spot even harder. You put your arms behind you and he held on to them tightly.

You were going to cum if he kept up his pace. You felt yourself begin to flutter around him.

“That’s it baby. You're such a good girl, listening to me so well.” His hips were smacking into yours with a wet slapping sound that seemed to echo throughout the room.

“Please please please.” You started pushing back into him desperately as he pushed forward.

“I’ve got you.” He reached around and started circling your clit.

“God, I’m gonna, Nic I’m gonna — ”

“Cum for me.”

And you most certainly did. You strangled his cock with your contractions and practically screamed, “Nicomund!”

He almost sobbed at the feeling of you cumming around him. It’s what he’s desperately needed for five long months. He felt your cum coat him as you screamed his real name, and at the last squeeze of your intense orgasm, he came.

He came so hard he yelled your name loudly. His hands grabbed your hips roughly and he wished he could let up, he didn’t want to bruise you, but he needed something to tether him to the earth – to keep him from passing out on top of you.

You made him cum so hard he was dizzy.

He spurted into you, filling you up fully. You felt his hard cock twitching inside of you and you felt his warmth flood you, gushing out as he continued to ram into you.

He came for so long that you were impressed. His cock seemed to twitch inside of you for minutes.

As he slowly regained his senses, he gently attempted to sooth your hips – where he had held on for dear life by softly rubbing them. He pulled out slowly and you both hissed at the loss.

But you knew to stay absolutely still.

He bent down and watched some of your mingled cum pour out of you. Then he licked you clean. Normally he would clean you by eating you out until you came again, but he knew that you were absolutely spent, so he kept it to the bare minimum. Lazily drinking what he could, as you squeezed out what he left behind.

He sighed contently as he laid on the bed and pulled you to him. You immediately snuggled into him and placed your hand on his chest.

You both laid there in a comfortable silence. You felt so at peace when you were in his arms. So very safe and warm. It was your favorite place to be. You cared for him, and you didn’t think that he knew that.

But you also felt like that this whole relationship thing, or whatever it was, was his call. He knew more than you did, and had more riding on it than you. Though, you couldn't help it, you really wanted to tell him what he meant to you.

How you felt when he was around. How you thought about him throughout the year. How you couldn’t wait for December. How he was making you wish your life away by always wanting it to be Christmas Eve.

“What are you thinking?” His voice was so soft and gravely.

“Nothing.”

He lifted his head up and looked down at you, raising his eyebrow in disbelief.

“I just — this was fun.”

He rubbed your back, “It was.” He was silent for a second and then continued, “Listen, maybe we need to come up with a way to do this more than once a year.”

You looked up at him and your face was absolutely beaming up at him. “That sounds good.”

“Yeah?” He smiled.

“Yeah. That would be great Nic.” You moved your hand down to his belly and gave him a hug.

He pulled you tighter into the hug and kissed the top of your head.

“I have one condition.”

You tensed a little having no idea what he was going to say. “What is it?”

“You're mine alone.”

You took a moment to really decide if that was what you wanted. It didn’t take long in all honesty, you just didn’t want him to know just how much this meant to you.

“I’m yours.”

He looked shocked and something almost sinister clouded his eyes, he felt possessive again. Hearing you say that snapped something in him, or rather, maybe it tore something down.

“Can I request the same from you? I- it’s ok if — ”

“You’re it.”

You smiled again, he could feel your cheeks move against his skin, and you pressed a kiss on a deep scar on his chest.

The two of you laid there for a few more minutes. When your eyes became heavy and your breath deepened, he gently shook you.

“I have to leave.”

“I don’t want you to go,” you held him tighter.

“I don’t want to go. Believe me, but I have to.”

“I know. I’d never keep you from being Santa Claus.”

You both slowly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. He looked over at you seriously. His brows furrowed and his hands gripped his knees.

What you had said affected him so deeply.

When you had mentioned him being Santa it was like throwing ice water in his face. He would never stop being Santa Claus, and you only had a couple decades left of your life. He fought the sudden urge to walk away from it all, and stay in this bed for as long as you had left.

You moved in front of him and stood between his legs. You pulled his head to your chest and you rubbed the back of his head lovingly. He wrapped his arms around you and looked up at you.

“Whatever we can have Nicomund. That is what I want.”

His damn eyes teared up and you leaned down and kissed him.

“I don’t want you to but you need to go. You have a lot of work to do.”

He laughed, and then sighed, “It seems like it never ends.” He was thankful you had quickly moved on because he was a heartbeat away from giving you absolutely everything.

You backed away from him. “When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to have to invent a way for us to communicate.”

“No phones?”

“Not at the North Pole I’m afraid.”

“Oh…”

“But don’t worry, I'll think of something. It’s kinda my thing.”

You laughed and he stood up and towered over you. Gosh he was so tall. He kissed you again and then smiled at you.

He put on his shorts and slid on his shoes. He found both halves of his shirt and slung it over his shoulder. He used magic and cleaned and straightened the bed.

You walked him to the door where he used his magic to fix your phone and the stupid seahorse sculpture.

“Why don’t you just fix your shirt?”

He smirked at you, “Oh you know why.” He tilted his head, pressed his nose into the fabric, and took a deep sniff.

You reddened and were about to say something when the son of a bitch touched his nose and disappeared.

He wouldn’t get away with this, you’d make sure of it.

THE END

[cat-mentality]

Silly qsmp headcannons with zero evidences in canon, let's fucking go

The Brazilian version:

Cellbit is a vampire.

How did he get turned? Who the fuck knows. No really, Cellbit himself doesn't even know he is a vampire, man just genuinely believe his past explains everything.

The cannibalism thing was just him not understanding that his body wanted blood

He managed now, by pure accident, to exchange the need for blood for coffee

Felps has accidentaly started cults that see him as a deity many times

What is he? He's Felps. No one has ever tried to dig deeper than that.

Felps doesn't need to sleep. When he does it, for pleasure, he sleeps with his eyes open.

The real reason Forever broke up with Cellbit was because the ghosts haunting their home kept knocking his plants and messing with the painting in their wall with their messages in blood

Forever is an elf and as such he has a very strong connection to nature, it has not occured to him that not everyone names and talks to plants like he does

Also flowers tend to blossom around him when he is really happy

Mike is in fact a wanted criminal in multiple countries in charges related to protests against the government (terrorism), thief was just the one thing they caught him for

Pac drinks his coffee black

Mike has some slime dna in his family but it was never fully acknowledged by anyone? It's just some random fact that it got throw around when he as a kid like "oh remember how grandpa josé used to turn into a gree goo sometimes?" so he just never brings it up in a meaningful way either

Pac is part bat and he is genuinely obsessed with eating moths, Mike build him a spawner so he could snack on them as much as he wants

He also can see in the dark without the potions and it freaks the fuck out of Mike when he wakes up in the middle of the night everything pitch black and Pac is just walking back to bed with a glass of water like normal

Pac however doesn't have the wings so no one realizes he is a hybrid until it gets brought up in conversation

The FavelaSix has been prohibited from playing Monopoly because the last time they did they ended up destroying a good chunk of the Island and Cellbit and Bagi spend three weeks not talking

They once also started an bawl because of Uno

Bagi will try to befriend every single animal she meets, she has literally an army of pets at her side

Bagi is also the only human among them and it shows as she is also the only one with the power of common sense

She has also a incredible sense of direction, girl has never gotten herself lost in her life

Forever once gave vuvuzelas to the Islanders and Cellbit cried himself to sleep

In retaliation Cellbit made sure that all food during Christmas had raisins in it

Pac obsessed for weeks on how to make brigadeiro on the Island and all the Brazilians cried when he succeded

[kerakeriza]

may i ask why you dislike the gray suit of damian, while I don't have an opinion on it I'm genuinely curious to yours

OH I AM HAPPY TO ELABORATE!!! please excuse how angry i sound. that is because i have been frustrated and angry all freaking day and i am so so glad to have an outlet for that anger via totally destroying the absolute TRAINWRECK that is his ugly gray suit.

here is the reference picture i will be using.

literally the worst color balance ever. why are only his mask, belt buckle, and shoelaces green? why is only the inside of his cape yellow? why is everything else gray!?!?!??! just the whole color pallete and the amounts of each color is horrendous. i can't even begin to describe how awful the PLACEMENT of each color is either.

2. his mask doesn't even fucking connect in the middle. he looks stupid. really, really stupid. he's not some mysterious magic guy who would have a reason to have his mask look like big bug eyes. he just looks stupid. we all know he's a powerless vigilante. it's dumb.

3. WHY does his collar splay out so weakly. either go all the way or don't go out at all. and why are the collar and hood's insides suddenly red? is he roleplaying as dracula? is that his problem? notice how it doesn't FUCKING match the mask. there is zero gradient here. straight green to red. he's like if a vampire was being forced to dress up like santa claus. why is he giving christmas? it's stupid. don't even get me STARTED on the random fucking... bars? under his neck. what the fuck ARE those? they're literally pointless. they clearly aren't holding anything together. they look nothing like cape clasps. they're literally just random metal bars on his clavicle for no goddamn reason. it's stupid. he looks stupid.

4. again a horrible awful terrible color gradient. deep vampire red to fucking cool dull gray. WITH YELLOW BEHIND HIM... ughhh. and the R looks so fucking stupid. he looks like he bought a knockoff red R from comic con or something and just pinned it there because that's where the R is ~supposed~ to go and not because it makes any sort of sense. why is it right smack dab in the middle of that red outline? it looks RIDICULOUS!

5. more random pointless garbo. the fuck are these straps for? just to make the suit harder to draw? is he trying to crush his own ribcage? the fuck are these FOR? besides looking ugly and stupid i mean. and why are they a lighter gray? they clash even more with the red than the darker gray does.

6. you look at this tiny baby cuck gloves and tell me that looks even halfway decent. first of all - again the red looks like ass with that yellow backdrop. is he cosplaying a condiment drawer? he's rocking both ketchup AND mustard i guess! and why the fuck are the gloves so SMALL? so SHORT? why have them cuffed to look like armor if they're just gonna be so small they invoke fully cloth gloves instead? the fuck is that for? and where did the SPIKES go? he LIKED the glove spikes. he was very obviously aiming for fatherly approval. it's not as if you can convince me he has his father's approval NOW, looking like such hot garbage. he looks like if condiment king had bad sushi for lunch and threw it back up and damian dug his costume out of the bile.

7. tell me, is it supposed to be a D? or an arrow? you'll notice how neither of those options make for an actual good idea. and why. is. it. GREEN! it matches NOTHING! and once more, the light gray? seriously? over a black belt on top of a darker gray suit? i can't even fully articulate just how ugly that fucking belt buckle is. awful shape, worse color, and it looks like a piece of shiny plastic that's painted to look like metal but really you know damn well it's plastic because you got it at the fucking dollar tree.

8. does the designer of this atrocity know that all the pointed edges only work if it looks intentional? the red tunic with yellow trim made it look good. it slayed. but the same monotone gray all over the tunic just looks sad. weak. like nobody bothered hemming his clothes. but that's not even the worst part. the worst part is how overdone all the sharp pointy triangles get. once you see the boots it's like, oh, he's just all edge and no point, huh?

9. why the fuck are the red outlines so BOLD here. so PROTRUDING... it looks just plain creepy. and why does the actual knee have to be the same color as the red of his pants, which are the same color as his tunic? it's so fucking BORING!

10. oh boy more useless metal bars clinging to his clothes for no reason! again, it's ugly as shit, has no purpose, and only exists to make the design look somehow even worse than it already does. NEXT!

11. these disgusting, grody ass pixie boot sneakers make me wanna snap somebody's neck. why are they so short? why do they have a double cuff? why are they literally just fucking sneakers with a rhino horn glued on? why is there a red squiggle down the middle? why are they a light gray? why is the sole red? did he buy them from the toddler section? actually, no, even toddler shoes have better color coordination than whatever the fuck is going on here. those green laces are the worst part of all. couldn't even do a dark gray for that, huh? the literal worst possible choice in color is exactly what they went for each fucking time but ESPECIALLY for these fucking boots. no, they're not boots, they're sneakers. my bad. these fucking SNEAKERS are so goddamn WACK that i think the only way anyone would actually buy them and wear them is if you slapped a 10,000 USD price tag on them and sold them under the gucci label, making way for young money influencers to waste all their cash on ugly garbage just to make a statement about how much money they have instead of spending their time and resources on actually developing a sense of style. but that's being generous, because not even gucci would sell something this fuck-ugly.

i'd waste my time redesigning this suit but i fear it'd drive me insane. my time would be far better spent analyzing costumes that actually look good and talking about why they work and are not so ugly they make me wish i could pour bleach into my eyes without dying.

[beevean]

A theory I've read more than once is that this one frame of Lenore entering Hector's cell for the second time is proof that she is not actually enjoying what she has to do:

The wiki describes it as such: "Lenore has a sad expression when entering the dungeon to visit Hector the second time."

Also this, from a comment I found:

Like for example when she goes to meet Hector the second time, you can see sadness on her face when she is walking alone in the dungeon, but as soon as she approaches Hector she puts on a smile. I.e. may be she already knew she had to use the ring at that point and felt bad about it but didn't want Hector to realize that. A lot of such small animation details really provide a glimpse into what the explicit writing was lacking.

(edit: turns out that they were the same person)

Okay.

First things first: I doubt she has the ring in mind already. It's hard to tell because Lenore pulls it out of her ass with zero foreshadowing whatsoever, but with the way it was framed, the ring was likely a direct response to Striga's idea of buying mercenaries to make Hector unnecessary, which comes later into the story: Lenore even uses the information she eavesdropped from Striga as a way to lie to Hector about her loyalty to the sisters. In theory it makes sense, because Hector needs to be reliable to be allowed to live, but the ring is... a very poor solution the more you think about it, even if you ignore how S4 neutered it, because it only addresses one of the many logistic problems that come with forcing Hector to make an army of Night Creatures, and it's not the dead bodies/living livestock paradox. And going with the story, it's unlikely Lenore was already thinking of raping the ring into Hector: why would the sisters be amazed at her plan if they were the ones suggesting her to speed up things? And if Lenore came up with it, why would she be remorseful at her own idea? Did she have so little faith in her own manipulating skills that she already felt that she had no choice but to use "brute force", after one understandable incident? Then why even bother interrogating him to understand his motivations and needs? Just skip straight to the sexual molestation to make him believe she likes him. As I pointed out, that interrogation was not for the sake of painting herself as particularly caring: she was collecting intel, intel that she wouldn't need if her plan was already tricking Hector into slavery via a magic ring.

Second: that expression honestly doesn't look sad to me. I would be willing to give the interpretation some credit, because she's looking downwards which can be a sign of sadness, but after that one frame, she switches to this expression:

Now she looks mildly pissy, like the idea of talking to Hector is just soooooo annoying, ugh. She even has the sassy cocked eyebrow lmao.

Of course that can't be it, so I propose the most obvious interpretation: she's serious and deep in thought. That is because their first encounter ended up disastrously: Hector assaulted Lenore with the intent of threatening her, which pissed her off, and she assaulted Hector by beating him to an inch of his life, which is not the best way to win a pet's trust. So she's most likely thinking the best way to approach him again.

And I'll even praise a small detail: the first time Lenore fed Hector, she made him crawl towards her to eat from her hand. The second time, however, she tosses an apple to his feet. Both gestures are demeaning, but after that incident she seems to be more cautious towards him, and being more careful into manipulating him. I'm honestly surprised that her final solution is stupid as fuck when she can be intelligent when she wants to. real reason she's hector's soulmate: both of them have braincells like christmas tree lights :V

Third: oh, do you want to talk about explicit writing?

These are not freeze frame bonuses. The scene lingers on this expression on Lenore's face as Hector is screaming in pain over the ring she put on him.

So, you're willing to believe Lenore didn't want to use the ring but felt forced to because in one frame she has an expression that mildly looks displeased... but somehow you ignore this blatantly sadistic reaction? This screams, at the very least, "haha, sucker, I've won"; but add to this that Hector is visibly and audibly in pain, shocked and scared at the curse overtaking his body during a vulnerable moment...

This ties well with how she beat Hector to a pulp not just out of self-defense, but because she wanted to feel strong and powerful when surrounded by people who underestimate her - the writing might imply that she was offended that Hector too saw her as vulnerable and stupid, but she was explicitly laughing and mocking him while showing off her strength (a strength she doesn't display when, say, Isaac enters her cage: he easily intimidates her). You might read the implication that Lenore spoke about Hector so disgustingly to the sisters to be taken seriously as a vampire mistress and didn't actually want to dehumanize him, but explicitly, even ignoring the forced pet play that showed she had fun treating him like a dog, she reduced him to a "problem to be solved" when complaining about her woes, and when she could have apologized or explained herself she minimized or doubled down on the harm she caused, never once expressing any remorse or doing anything worthwile to make up for it (like, for example, talking about the ring and how it's a shame Hector is only there because he has no choice because she feels they'd be good friends without it: that would imply guilt).

In fact, going back to the moment when Lenore decides to use the ring, it is far more likely that it was in response to this part of the conversation Lenore has eavesdropped:

Striga: We can possibly push east as far as Lake Balaton before I run out of soldiers, but that exposes our Western border. Morana: Sleep. Striga: We can't do it without Lenore turning the forgemaster, and she's just taking him out for fucking walkies. Morana: She will land him. Striga: It's going to have to be soon.

Considering that it's shown that Lenore highly resents being seen as a stupid animal lover, it's far easier to think that this is when she got pissy and decided to use a quicker method, even if it destroyed all the hard manipulation work she had done.

One frame might paint her as a reluctant villain only trying to make everyone happy and being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but multiple scenes paint her as a vile bully and abuser who enjoys feeling in power and control, whether she uses kindness or harm to achieve her goal.

I'm sorry, subtext can absolutely enrich the understanding of a story or character, but not when it actively contradicts the text.

Do you want my personal example? I'll play the same game of overanalyzing expressions. When Isaac attacks the castle, Lenore goes to rescue Hector first thing, instead of checking on Carmilla. For one moment, she even looks torn on where to go:

I will praise this moment: this shows her concern for him quite nicely and that she believes his safety is the first priority, without having to spell it out - no declataration of love, no "you're too important to me", the action speaks for itself. However, there is also her reaction when Hector severs his finger to get rid of the ring, after he explains that "command and control flows through [him] to Lenore here and to her friends":

It could be simple disgust because, well, there's a severed finger and pools of blood lying near her. But I also see what the commenter saw in that frame in S3: sadness. Defeat. Lenore has lost control of the Night Creatures. She can't do anything to protect Carmilla and the castle. And she has lost control of Hector, who has gone behind her back and is protecting her at the expense of her sisters and home: he may chose to stay with her, but he also gave Isaac all the tools he needs to destroy her life. She's powerless. Everything she has worked for went up in smokes and was pointless. Which, as it was shown and told, greatly bothers her. (this is also why I believe her suicide makes sense for her state of being, an opinion apparently not shared by her fans)

I see all of this encapsulated into that expression that mixes disgust, concern and quiet, horrified realization: and it's also fully backed up by the context.

This leads to the message I keep insisting on and which is something that more people need to learn, and the reason I keep eviscerating this character because the writing and the fandom piss me off something fierce: abusers can care about you. They can care about your safety and well being, they can want what (they think) it's best for you. What makes them abusers is that they place more importance on their own need of control. Lenore wanting to save Hector because she pitied him, has grown close to him and eventually finds in him someone who listens to her doesn't at all erase in the slightest all the harm she has caused him: which, I reiterate, includes lying to him and taking advantage of his feelings and need for love to trick him into sex with the objective of placing a slave ring on him, and enjoying his suffering when she won - and when Hector called her out on this, her response was "SHUSH, YOU WERE HAVING FUN".

At the end of the day, she has never stopped behaving like a vampire, a creature whose definition of love is "acting to keep something with you for as long as you can". Even in her most wholesome scenes, like this one or the one where she pleads for more of Carmilla's patience, it's easy to see at the core of it all a need to control the situation and people involved, and reluctance to admit her needless cruelty. This is nuance, not "she's actually good deep down, pls ignore all the sexual abuse because it was for Hector's own good 🥺".

On one hand, it's true that when you do character analyses, you will always be biased, because you come in with your ideas and preconceptions. I am biased too, of course, you can tell. On the other, it's dishonest to cling only onto the most convenient hidden details to look like you have fully understood the text, when you dismiss the most obvious ones that are so obvious you have to actively try to.

[jaehyunnie77]

omg hi! Saw that your requests were open hehe yay 🥳 could I request for a secret bf jaehyun x y/n one where they went for a Christmas party and y/n stands under a mistletoe without knowing and her guy friend starts a convo with her below it causing their friends to point it out and make them kiss, so instead, she kisses him on the cheek, making jaehyun jealous and pouty 🥹

Hope it makes sense hahaha! You can switch it up in your way too 🥰❤️ Love your stories so so much ✨

pairing: Jaehyun x f. reader

genre: pure fluff - like the purest i think i've ever written

word count: 2.1k

a/n: i got busy during the holidays, but here's a late christmas fic upon requested. thank you so much anon for sending this in. i hope you enjoy it :)

------------

“I promise it’s going to be really quick babe. One hour max and then we can go home, order take out, and watch movies.” You tell your boyfriend as you adjust his tie.

“I just don’t see the point of why we have to be here when it’s freezing and Christmas is in a couple of days.” He says.

You look up after being satisfy with his tie and see a cute pout on his lips. He may be a twenty-five year old adult, but sometimes he can be a kid. Especially right now when he looks so adorable with his pout.

“Hey look at me.” you tell him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. His hands mindlessly finding your waist and holding you close. “It’s going to be quick Jae and right after you’ll have me for the entire week.”

At that, his pout turns into a smirk and into a big smile. Like you’ve said, he can be a kid sometimes. “That sounds good honestly.” He leans forward and captures your lips together. If you didn’t have this Christmas party to attend to, you’d kiss him all night.

You pull away from him reluctantly, “We’re going to be late.”

He sighs deeply, “Okay. Just remember that I’m doing this for you. I’m guessing nobody has zero idea we’re together, so you go in first and I’ll follow soon after.” You smile at him before giving him another kiss.

“See you soon cutie.” You tease before heading in.

Your Christmas work parties are usually fun, especially when there’s alcohol and you get to see how fun your colleagues are. Usually, you’d enjoy your night out, mingle with everybody, and do small talk, but this year, all you want to do is go home with Jaehyun and spend time with him.

You both work at the same company and have been dating for six months. Of course, you would have to talk to HR about your relationship at one point, but you both like knowing that no one knows you two are together. Why? Well, let’s just say you both didn’t like each other at the very beginning. Yeah, how cliché right?

It all started a year and a half ago when Jaehyun was a new employee and your first interaction wasn’t the happiest one. You pulled an all-nighter the night before and haven’t had your morning coffee. As you walk into the kitchen, your brain automatically was filled with giddiness knowing you’re about to have your fuel for the day. There was a man using the coffee machine and you didn’t think much of it, let alone care who it was.

You stood next to him as you grab your cup and sugar pack and that’s when you heard a loud noise and a ‘fuck’ next to you. You look up to see the coffee machine smoking and you knew you were going to have a horrible day all because of this jerk.

“What the hell happened!?”

“I don’t know. I was just trying to put my brew in there and it just started acting weird and not doing anything so I just pushed all of these buttons and bam.”

“Ugh you idiot. If you don’t know how to work a coffee machine, go to Starbucks next time!” you say angrily.

“Are you questioning my intelligence on how to work a coffee machine?” the man looks at you angrily.

You stand a little straighter, “Yes I am because if you knew how to work this, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

He squints his eyes before retaliating back, “Well maybe you should start being nice to people you don’t know or better yet, how about you make yourself a cup of coffee before coming into work and spoiling everyone’s day.”

Your jaw fell open because never in your life has anyone talked to you like that or have a comeback as he did. You were at a complete lost for words until he turned around to walk back out the kitchen.

“Yeah, well it still doesn’t fix the problem you created by not knowing how to work this thing.”

All the man could do was laugh at you before waving you off and exiting.

Just who the hell does he think he is?

Since that day, you made your own coffee at home before coming into work. Little did you know, he always saw you with coffee in your hand and notices how your smile captures your beauty. Sure, you were probably having an off day that first encounter, but he still couldn’t help that you somehow took his words into consideration by bringing your own coffee into work.

You’ve seen him around a couple of times, but never interacted with him until you both had an assignment together.

“Oh look who it is. The coffee machine breaker.”

“Good morning to you too Cruella.”

You make a face at him, “Trust me I don’t want to work on this assignment with you either.”

Jaehyun eyes you before playfully saying, “Who says I didn’t want to work with you?”

Surprise, you look at him to see his eyes twinkling and a smirk on his lips. Once again, you’re at a lost for words and don’t bother saying anything back. Instead, you focus on your laptop in front of you putting random ideas on Word.

Jaehyun sees the affect he has on you and couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Cute.

Who knew that assignment would change the interjectory of your outlook on Jaehyun. You ended up spending your long days at work with him figuring and coming up with ways for this assignment and on days off, you both somehow manage to meet up and talk about things you had in common.

After said assignment project was finished, you both found yourselves spending more time together. You no longer were annoyed by him or called him ‘the coffee machine breaker’, but instead, you called him by his name or his nickname Jae. Eventually things fell into place soon after.

What can you say? The universe does work in mysterious ways.

As you grab a flute of champagne by the bar, you turn around to see your boyfriend walking through the door. Even if it has been six months you’ve been dating or see him walk around for almost two years, he still takes your breath away.  The man knows how to capture everyone’s attention by his gaze and his well mannerism. Not to mention how hot he looks in his black and white suite.

I really can’t believe this man is my man.

As the party continues on, you manage to talk to a few colleagues and steal glances at Jaehyun from afar. It came to the point where you were almost playing a game of hide and seek.

“Wow. Look at you. Who knew you could dress up nicely.” Josh, your friend and ass kisser tells you.

“Everyone has their secrets. You clean up pretty nicely as well.”

“Thanks! Oh by the way, I just want to tell you that I think you’re an amazing person to look up to.”

“How many have you had to drink?” you chuckle. “But thank you for the kind words. If you’ll excuse me I –“

“Oh my god! Mistletoe! Y/N and Josh are under the mistletoe!” Someone on your right yells excitedly.

You see everyone near turn towards you as you look up and sure enough there is a mistletoe above you and Josh.

“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.” Your colleagues chant in unison.

You shake your head from pure embarrassment, but also trying to find Jaehyun to somehow tell him it isn’t what it looked like. You finally see him in the back, his gaze intently on yours with an expression you haven’t seen before.

“Just one kiss.” Your coworker Joy says.

You look back to Josh who’s hoping more than anything you’d kiss him. Without wanting unwanted attention on you, you kiss Josh on the cheek. “There. Done.”

“No, that’s not –“

“Technically, that was a kiss. It doesn’t mean we have to kiss on the lips and we are not like that.” You explain yourself. Your eyes search for Jaehyun once again only to see him pouting and heading outside the balcony.

You follow him right out, not caring anymore about what took place or the people around you. The only focus you had in mind was your boyfriend. Once outside, Jaehyun was overlooking the city and even when he stands with his back facing you, he’s still handsome. You walk towards him until you’re standing beside him and taking in the city night lights.

“Babe-“

“There’s people around Y/N.” his tone is cold with a hint of frustration.

“Please Jae, it’s not what you think. I didn’t even know there would be a mistletoe, let alone be under one.”

“Do you know that he likes you? I heard him talking about you one day and telling everyone he was going to shoot his shot with you because he thinks you feel the same way.”

“Are you jealous?” the more he talked the more you couldn’t help but smile.

“I bet he made sure to stop under that mistletoe just so he could get a kiss from you.” he sneers.

“You know I don’t feel the same way he does. I only have feelings for you.” you step closer to him until you could feel his warmth embracing you.

Jaehyun exhales frustratingly, “I just wish it was me under that mistletoe.” He says quietly.

You look at your boyfriend and want more than anything for that to also be him. An idea pops into your head and you know what you have to do. It was either now or never.

“Come with me.” You take out your hand for him to hold.

“Where are we going?”

“On an adventure.” You smile up at him with round eyes.

How could he say no to that face and to you. He takes your hand and follows your lead back into the Christmas party. Once inside, you still don’t let his hand go even if he tried to let go of yours. All that did was make you hold onto him tighter.

You found a mistletoe and walked over to it and stopped underneath it. Jaehyun has zero idea what’s going on until he looks at his surroundings and finally up to see the mistletoe.

“Y/N –“

“Y/N and Jaehyun are under the mistletoe.” You hear someone whispering loudly to someone and soon enough the entire room has their eyes on you both.

“There’s people watching.” He says nervously.

“Let them. I don’t want to be here with no one else but you. I don’t care what people say as long as I have you by my side and I don’t want to hide us forever because I’m in love with you. Only you Jaehyun.”

At your confession he smiles widely and you couldn’t help but smile wider if that’s possible. You crane your neck up as he bends down to meet you halfway as your lips meet each other. You’ve had many kisses with Jaehyun, but this kiss is the first kiss to seal how you truly felt for one another and to show everyone that you love each other. His hands cradle the side of your face before one goes to your back as he dips you down. You yelp in surprise as the room gets louder from all the clapping and celebration.

He takes you back up and you’re left winded. The smile on his face is the only thing you see and the only one that matters.

“You’re crazy but I love you Y/N.” he pecks your lips.

“And I love you coffee machine breaker.” At that you both laugh at how far you’ve come.

“How about we get out of here and go watch movies?”

“Please. My feet has been killing me for the last hour.”

“Babe, that’s literally the time the party started.” He giggles.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t want to be here, I just want to be with you.”

“God you’re so cute. Let’s go.”

At that, you both left the party hand in hand and no longer hiding your relationship. Starting tonight, you get to show the world who makes you the happiest person on the planet.

Also … you may or may not be already planning for many more kisses underneath the mistletoe with the love of your life Jeong Jaehyun.

[one-coming-is-enough]

I wanna hear about your beef with Mr. Claus, if you don't mind.

I've been sleeping on this ask for a minute, and it's time, honestly. I've had such a busy holiday season already, it's crazy! I mean, this year in addition to all the zombies, I'm trying to get through the training videos for taking over Hell, and they're meandering, awkward, and full of incoherent jargon. It's just a lot!

But the 6th was St. Nicholas's Day, and tonight it's Hanukkah, so I should definitely answer this one.

St. Nicholas is a decent guy, if a little stiff-necked. His thing is giving dowries to poor women so they don't have to go into sex work. And also bringing poor children back to life after they're sold for stew meat.

(Also, he was the one who proposed at the Council of Nicea that Easter be celebrated on the first full moon after the spring equinox, which tied it to the solar calendar instead of the lunar calendar. Granted, this was to reduce the Jewish influence on the religion, but it also made it easier for Me to celebrate Passover, and I really like Passover.)

So St. Nicholas Day ends up being a day where, instead of finding the nearest whore and offering to fund her marriage (sex work is work), you give money and presents to children. You can see the connection, yeah? Make sure kids have what they need growing up and they won't go hoing to make ends meet. Or have to be made into stew.

Meanwhile, we have this spirit over in the East called Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost. He's just, like, an old guy who freezes stuff. He'll take your kids if they wander out in the cold like you told the little bastards not to do.

And because of cultural drift, the duties of Ded Moroz get shifted over to Odin, another dude from the East. Originated somewhere between the steppes of Mongolia and Turkey, as far as anyone knows, finally made his way to Sweden and even the British Isles. Odin is now the Yulefather, the freezer of water and collector of the dead in the dying part of the year. Makes sense, because He's a wind god, since air is the element connected with Spirit at this time. (This is true for Hebrew and Latin, too! Pneuma and ru'ach.)

Well, the church doesn't like that Ded Moroz is a spooky guy who takes souls, decides he's a demon. But people like their Ded Moroz a lot. So now, instead of being a demon who takes souls, he's... Well, who do we have that's also from the East, Turkey specifically, and who is associated with giving or taking something, especially regarding children?

We have St. Nicholas! Who gives children presents instead of taking their souls, and coincidentally can calm the storm (of wind) that so often takes the souls of those lost outside in the cold. And his holiday is just under 20 days before Yule Xmas it's Christmas now. (Or, Yuletide. You know, whatever. Sheol is Hades now, who gives a shit.)

So it all gets kinda muddled up. Odin, St. Nick, Ded Moroz. Father Frost, Father Solstice, Father Christmas.

Well, I'm hanging out in the Holy Roman Empire, and I hear about this guy known as Sinterklaas. I think it's my old buddy and trusted employee Nicholas of Myra, who as far as I know has been buying, freeing, and funding the education and/or startups of slaves for as long as that's been possible. (He has six to eight African guys he ended up hiring on as assistants.) And I hear he's giving out not just coins and oranges, which prevent scurvy, but also toys and candy. And Nicholas of Myra is a good man, but he had zero sense of humor or fun and would never give a kid candy ("it rots your teeth, at least have an orange").

So I track down this Klaus, whom the kids also call Kris Kringle. I hear the kids have been doing all sorts of weird rituals to him, like the Spanish Yule log that shits candy, or the little pooping guy they hide in the Nativity scene (also Spanish, now that I think about it. What the fuck did the Inquisition do to people's brains over there?). And that he has a creepy BDSM goat called the Krampus for an assistant, who's in charge of dealing out the punishment to bad kids (that one's German and I thought it was just, like, the nation's id or something).

And he's smol. I mean, this guy is fucking Thumbelina sized. Roughly round, jolly as fuck, red fur trimmed in white, pointy toque beanie to match, and a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. Telltale pointed ears. Sparkling all over like they do.

Eight transmuted beings. Sleipnir (Dasher), Shiva and Baal Marquad (Dancer, Prancer), a kitsune (Vixen), a fallen star (Comet), Eros Himself (Cupid), and Thunder and Lightning -- Thor and Loki. Donner and Blitzen.

It's an entire Neil Gaiman novella of folks who've, I dunno, lost some kind of bet to him.

Okay. So he's one of The Neighbors. Gotta be careful.

I greet him like he's my old buddy Nicholas. I ask him how the soul collection is going and ask to see his inventory. He demurs, but I remind him that I'm his boss and they'll all come to Me eventually anyway. I just want to see if I think he ought to put any back. Oh, and can I just scan your company badge so I can establish that you made your check-in?

Well, I'm bluffing really hard, but he doesn't know that. He says he lost it. I tell him I'll wait with the souls until he gets back -- actually, whoa, looks like he's got a full load there. I'll take them in Myself.

That's when he laughs and says, "Well, Jesus, looks like You caught Me fair and square tonight. But how's about you and I make a deal? I'll spread Your Word and tell children to be good. And I will tell them to give to others all year round, because that's the spirit of Christmas. If they are good all year round, doing what their parents say, I will give them presents. If they are not good all year round -- which is to say, they don't do what their parents tell them to earn Christmas presents -- I will not give them presents. Fair?"

Note the wording carefully. Note where there's an and, and where there's not an and.

This works for a while. And then this song comes out.

Something seems wrong if kids are getting Santa presents according to the wealth of their parents, not their goodness over the year.

Then I find out that the primary metric by which Santa distributes presents is no longer behavior, but belief.

Not in Me.

In SANTA CLAUS.

I storm into his North Pole office yelling idolatry and he's got a fucking elven lawyer underlining shit. He didn't convert. He only promised to encourage charity. He didn't promise presents for charity, it's just for kids doing what their parents say they need to in order to get gifts, and right now that's belief in him.

I'm fucking steamed and he points out that I do exactly the same thing. Instead of doing good works or seeing the Divine in others regardless of social status or even fighting for equality here on Earth, Heaven has gotten twisted around to the point where believing in Me alone -- not what I stand for, which at this point can be nearly anything, but just the idea that I existed and did the Thing -- is considered sufficient acceptance criteria.

And I can't argue with that but I hate it. I hate that it's come to that. I hate what My section of Heaven looks like these days. I personally have been pleading for them to enact stringent, clearer, and above all objective metrics of entry, but I'm outnumbered in My own 5D connected consciousness in that opinion!!!

So. Fuck that guy. I'd literally rather you just worship Odin for Yule flat-out than fuck with Santa Claus, because at least He has solid advice for living and a comprehensive afterlife system.

I don't know what Santa Claus is doing with all that belief except get bigger, and it really scares Me.

[archerygun]

Wowee. This is a bit of an emotional one. Just warning you now.

I’ve been watching Ghosts pretty much since it came out. My dad surprised me with the first episode and refused to let me know what we were watching until I saw Ben Willbond’s face and was like “HOLD ON.”

(Nobody asked, but my favourite has always been the Captain because I’ve been obsessed with the Second World War since I was 7. My dad’s favourite is Robin, my mum’s is Kitty and my sister likes Pat).

It wasn’t niche then by any stretch of it. It’s always been popular, but it certainly wasn’t something your teachers plus the whole internet were cracking out the good wine for. (I proceeded to annoy everyone in my life by talking about it, little did they know that 3 years later they’d become equally obsessed by it).

And that doesn’t sound too special, but like. When Ghosts came out, I was in Primary School. Now I’m sitting my GCSEs. That’s fucking insane. Not even mentioning how it singlehandedly carried me through lockdown when I was dealing with a bigger workload than ever (online school just means strictish parents get to cross over into actually strict) and only had one friend to communicate with.

The first (and last) time I read proper fanfiction was when I was like 12 and looking through the Ghosts fandom because I was having a really, really bad time with paranoia and couldn’t sleep.

When we had our Year 10 mocks, my friend showed up half an hour late to our Chemistry exam after doing zero revision because she was bingewatching every episode of Ghosts to cope with exams. She gave me a rose for valentine’s this year with “I’m from Yorkshire mate, I’m practically made of tea.” on it. Her Yearbook quote is gonna be “I’m going to drown myself in the lake! I mean it!”

My Media Studies teacher found out I watched the show and started enthusiastically taking me through all of her theories about it before Season 4 came out. (She’s like sixty and her favourite show is Line of Duty by the way). Before Season 5 came out I asked her how she felt and she gave me a very excited “We’re getting out the good wine!!!”

So. My grandad died in 2022. Just before Christmas. They thought he’d make it to celebrate Christmas with us, but they’d overestimated. He had lung cancer, caused by working around asbestos as an industrial electrician. I genuinely cannot describe how much of a wonderful man he was. He was the best person I ever met, and more of a second dad than a grandad.

The last thing my grandad watched with us (we put a lot of importance on watching things as a family, at least in my family. Not sure if this is the same for everyone) was an episode of Ghosts. We thought it would be a laugh, because his end of the family are all from Sheffield and they’d introduced Maddocks. He was very out of it, and on an oxygen drip. He couldn’t really pay attention but he insisted on trying because he wanted to make us happy.

He died that week, on the day we had to leave. We were in the house when he started failing and all we could do was drive back down to London.

(Ghosts actually got a shoutout in the funeral. We’re a family with a sense of humour, and my grandad was the kind of man that results in a family debate about whether Ça Plane Pour Moi is an appropriate song for a funeral).

The Christmas episode that year broke me. In a good way. When they played Pat’s video tapes, I saw every photo of my dad’s family in the eighties in Yorkshire. It can’t be too hard to capture the energy, I’m sure, but I’ll tell you this. There wasn’t a dry bloody eye in the sitting room. My aunt even got their Christmas pictures out afterwards. My Sheffield family saw their childhoods on the screen and my London family saw my grandad.

It’s funny how things can end up being an accidental allegory or feel cosmically intentional.

I’m not saying this for pity, or to one-up anyone about my connection to the show. I just feel like if I don’t describe every detail, Ghosts’ impact on my life is going to be understated. And I’m more than happy that it will impact so many more people.

So, yeah. Thank you, Ghosts. I can’t think of a single piece of other media that’s been as impactful on my life. Thank you for being made with care and love and attention to detail and terminal levels of Britishness. Thank you for dealing with death and grief and healing in an entertaining way.

Thank you. For everything.

[dakogutin]

DAY18 of @dzaddyjamespotter‘s advent calendar prompts:

SNOW

(read my other christmas prompts here!)

cw: explicit smut

All they wanted was to spice up their Christmas this year.

James rented a cabin at a ski lodge and invited them over. But it was now three days before the big day, exactly when Sirius and Remus said they would arrive. They were the only ones missing up there. A warm bed and an even warmer company awaits them, it was supposed to be perfect, making their journey all the more worth it.

Except there was a snow storm.

Remus gave up on driving at this point. Visibility was down to zero, despite the restless effort of the windshield wipers. It’s not just that, anyway, the road was thick with snow. The car wouldn’t move even if they tried.

Remus sighed, sitting back. “We have to wait this out.”

“Makes sense.” Sirius shifted on his seat, trying to stretch his legs in the little space. He stopped when he took note of Remus. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just thought we’d already be there by now. Not cramped in this machine with a sad heater for an unforeseeable amount of time.”

“It’s fine, Moons. At least we’re not out freezing in that storm. Here,” he said, opening his arms in an invitation. When Remus gave him a wry smile, Sirius shrugged. “It’s freezing. You’re warm. Now, hug.”

“Yeah, there’s nothing to do anyways.” Remus lowered their seats and scooted closer so they could cuddle. Sirius settled between his legs as Remus’ head rested on top of Sirius’.

“I could think of something,” Sirius eventually spoke.

Remus’ had figured they were about to sleep in their cozy position, so it took a considerable amount of time for him to comprehend Sirius’ delayed response.

Eyes still shut, Remus hummed, playing coy. “What?” he murmured, voice low and gravelly as he squeezed Sirius tight in his arms.

“It’s a lot more strenuous than sleeping, that’s for sure.” Sirius turned over, arms bracketing Remus’ figure to pin him down. He ghosted over Remus’ lips. “Not to mention it will help keep us warm.”

Remus blinked his eyes open to the gorgeous sight of Sirius inches away from his face. The scarce light tracing his silhouette and the sharp angles of his face. Remus’ back ached from the awkward support of the car door behind him, but it was nothing to what awaits him.  “I wonder what that could be,” he whispered before leaning forward to kiss Sirius.

Sirius was instantly on him– each kiss deep and each touch purposeful.

He shoved his hand inside Remus’ trousers and wasted no time squeezing. All while never drawing back from their heated kiss. Remus could only moan against him, grip tight on Sirius’ shirt and hair. It was sharp and raw and so very Sirius. Remus loved it.

When he managed to pull off for air, he choked out, “What’s the rush? It’s not like we have anything else to do while waiting.”

“Need it.” Sirius said between kisses, his fingers tugging on Remus’ buttons. “Been thinking about this all day.”

“Fuck,” Remus hissed. “You could’ve just said.”

“And risk your driving?” Sirius countered. “It’s better this way because now, you need it, too. You’ve been so stressed about being on time.” He trailed his kisses to Remus’ neck, biting and sucking as he finally pulled Remus’ cock out of his pants.

Remus squirmed, moaning helplessly. Even with Sirius’ large and warm hand stroking him, it was cold, and the kisses on his neck were only making his nerves more alight. His head spun. It was a lot all at once, but also, Sirius was right. He needed this.

And all too suddenly, Sirius’ mouth left him, but only to transfer to Remus’ cock. His pace was relentless. He sucked deep, keeping Remus in this throat while his hands would fondle his bollocks.

“Fuck… Sirius, I’m gonna come really fast if you keep this up.”

Sirius did pull off, but his hands continued jerking Remus. “That’s the whole point.” He threw a wink before sinking back in.

The breath was knocked out of Remus’ lungs. He could only lie there and take what Sirius gave. He tried warning Sirius despite knowing Sirius was very much aware when Remus was close, but Sirius only doubled his efforts, leaving Remus panting and spent.

“I think that may have been the quickest…” Remus giggled breathlessly when he returned to reality, and met Sirius’ lips. He never got to finish his sentence, but it didn't matter.

“Don’t you think I deserve a reward for that?” Sirius murmured, catching Remus’ bottom lip.

Perhaps Remus’ brain hasn’t completely recovered yet, or maybe he wanted it just as bad. Either way he was already lifting his hips to fully remove his pants.

He could gladly not make it to the cabin any time soon.

[mermaidsirennikita]

also now that rwarb was such a successful adaptation, which queer romances would you like to see them tackle next?

Weeeeelll if there were zero budgetary and casting restrictions in place, if I could just wave a magic wand and make great adaptations--

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid--SEEMS like one of the easiest options, comes built in with a sequel, and it's like. Along the same lines as RWARB, while being.... a lot more sexual and a good bit angstier because the stakes are arguably HIGHER (mostly I'm thinking of Ilya being a world-famous Russian athlete who's also like. Bi.). I feel like it's funny and swooningly romantic in a manner similar to RWARB, but it's the next level up in a sense re: maturity. I also think, again, they could actually do this... albeit with a lot of obstacles re: both sexual content and like, casting dudes who could be fake hockey players lol. And one of them has to either be Russian or miraculously do a bang-up Russian accent. Both of these things are challenges.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian--would be SUCH a good mini? A historical romcom with the soft bisexual former highwayman and the flashiest motherfucker who's ever walked into the tavern or whatever like "HELP ME ROB MY DAD... and I will consider letting you look at my ankles". And then he SWORDFIGHTS LMAO? Perfect perfect perfect. then you could have the Marian book as a sequel.

Something Fabulous/Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall--you begin with a mini on the ultimate m/m romcom roadtrip romance, then you transition to the equally funny but also deeply emotionally stirring book about two nonbinary characters falling in love? and one of them is BASICALLY a rockstar?

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger--the sapphic Interview with the Vampire, incredibly good and wry and dark and funny and ROMANTIC

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--would be an amazing sweeping four part period drama; I just love the premise so much, with the heroine transitioning by faking her death at Waterloo and her best friend never emotionally getting over it and then meeting her again after her transition and not recognizing her until he realizes she has THE SAME FRECKLES??? JESUS. A full-stop ROMANCE romance.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles--JOSS DOOMSDAY and his gay exploits in the marsh! Blackmailing his old hookup to continue his smuggling operation and then following that old hookup home and going "so like... you down to fuck or....?"

This is completely impossible but I'm gonna pie in the sky and say Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners would make the most demented borderline-impossible explicit TV series ever. Imagine the ongoing antics of a bisexual dominatrix, her ex-boyfriend except actually not except the love of her life who is a Catholic priest that gets sexual pleasure out of inflicting pain, a totally straight man (according to himself) who has nonetheless been in a 20+year off/on thing with a bisexual French guy who runs the kink underworld of New York City or something. And they all fuck together sometimes. Like at Christmas. Complete with a snowball moment! Because Christmas!

New Camelot Trilogy--will never happen, but in my wiiiiiiildest dreeeeeeams this would be like, a 10-episode miniseries (or more??? Like a full outlander-style 13 episode series..... or a three season deal with 8 episodes per season...). It's just one of my favorite romance series of all time, it does such a good job of melting from the simple love triangle to this complex menage a trois of possessive wounded messy people? And somehow two of them are the president and the vice president lmao??? Of course, in the same sense... I'd love a Thornchapel miniseries. Like, you'd get a m/m/f throuple, a f/f couple, and this one bi priest guy they all fuck with at points? But nobody wants me to have the Gothic polyamorous friend group romance I want.

[arcplaysgames]

Omg Yosuke that's so thoughtful of you, organizing the "we ain't got dates" conciliatory orgy event for the holiday! I mean, we all know it's his in with Reverie but I am not gonna rat him out, let him shoot his shot! Literally! Or, figuratively, but-- you know what I mean.

ALSO THIS IS A WONDERFUL FUCKING DETAIL BUT this game is set in the era of flip phones, not smartphones, and the specific way that Yosuke types is emblematic of the way you would use a shitty ten-keypad for typing, and it's SUCH a specific touch.

oh my god now i'm curious how Japanese text messaging worked in that era. if i remember, I wanna look into that later.

yeah you know what that's fair you all can stay here forever. i grew up in florida is palmetto bugs, aka The Big Roaches That Can Fly. my fear is intense and well-founded.

Yosuke you lie like a fucking rug, you literally texted everyone and picked the folks. It would have been JUST as easy to invite EVERYONE to Aiya or something. You cannot fool me, Hanamura, I'm a higher level gay than you are.

TROY BAKER SING TO ME /slams hands on table

I see u blushu, Kanji. /bats eyelashes at Kanji

also the sad hilarity of Teddie knowing the social script more than Yosuke does occur to me, yep.

YURI LOWENTHAL, SING FOR MY AMUSEMENT

gdi no one fucking sings in this scene, what a fucking rip off! booo! zero out of five, worst game i ever played.

anyway, for Christmas proper, NANAKO AND DOJIMA ARE HOME AND I COULD FUCKING CRY ABOUT IT. nanako i am gonna squish ur lil round face i love you mwah mwah

anyway

GOT MY INSURANCE CARD MIGHT LITERALLY BE THE FUNNIEST LINE IN THIS FUCKING GAME, I'M WHEEZING. god the line read is so fucking good on it too, I love Kanji. I would kill for Kanji. He's the best fucking character in Persona and it's not even close.

anyway, shock of shocks, the cake is not poisonous this time and everyone gets to enjoy it (tho Naoto reveals it was their third attempt at making one, lol)

Teddie made Nanako a teddie doll and I want a fucking teddie doll, goddammit

don't even fucking worry about it, dojima, it's fine

Dojima accidentally brings up the fact that Reverie is leaving soon, which Fucking Sucks. but! it sucks less than being a human sacrifice to fuel a seal to prevent the fall of Nyx, The God Of The Dark Hour, so really, can't complain!

I am pretty sure Reverie is gonna live through all this. I think getting his ass shot by Adachi was the only chance of for real dying, so we should be good.

god, I would sacrifice Reverie for, uh, P3P Reverie in a heartbeat.

(I remembered in literally the middle of that sentence that all of my characters are named Reverie Vantas lol)

NANAKO I LOVE YOU can we finally finish your fucking slink tho, is that now allowed again?????

anyway the game is wrapping up and I am anticipating another P3P-style time skip to when Reverie leaves but

one, I am still sort of... not actively sour on but ambivalent about the entire Midnight Channel thing. I feel like the final explanation had a lot of plot holes and didn't really make sense if you thought about it.

two, this is not a game about dying like P3P was so there is a lack of finality to everything honestly, which has less bombast than i anticipated

three, I STILL WISH I FUCKING KNEW WHY NAMATAME, ADACHI, AND REVERIE HAD THIS POWER. like, the big eyeball mentioned it granted powers to those with the fortitude to traverse the hollow forest but WHY SPECIFICALLY THESE THREE DUDES ugh whatever

four, i hope the bonus dungeon boss has some fucking Shenanigans bc Ameno-sagiri just does not compare to Ryoji-Nyx and the multiphase shit that was so fun.

sigh! sigh!!!!!

I did max out Marie tho so I will see about that at some point I guess?

[thetarttfuldickhead]

A Jamie-centric pre-OT3 Christmas story told in 25 short chapters.

Masterpost / AO3

17.

Roy wasn’t stupid: as he parked his car next to Jamie’s ugly Aston Martin on the drive outside what Higgins had reluctantly revealed to be Tartt’s home, he knew fully well that this might not be a great idea. He’d even promised Keeley that he’d let her be the one to reach out to Jamie, “because obviously it was a mistake thinking the two of you could talk this through like adults”, but the little prick had dodged her calls all day and now Keeley was doing some mingle thing with other PR people downtown and Roy had tried to let it go, he had, but he was slowly going out of his mind, so. Here he was.

What the fuck was going on with Jamie Tartt? It was a question Roy had not thought he’d need to bother with after he quit playing, but he’d been proved wrong again and again in the past two weeks, hadn’t he, and ever since Jamie was revealed as his secret benefactor/pranker, it had not left him a moment’s peace. What the fuck was going on with Jamie Tartt, and why would he bother messing with Roy now that Roy was yesterday’s news? Jamie might be a world class prick but surely he had better things to do, and easier marks if he wanted to make someone miserable?

And even if he did want to mess with Roy, getting Roy a bunch of expensive and thoughtful gifts seemed a fucking odd way to do it. Yes, realising it had been Tartt behind if after Roy – stupidly, pathetically – started getting a little fucking invested in and excited about the whole thing had been a proper and unexpected punch to the gut. Had felt like a trick, because what else could it be? It was Jamie Tartt! And with the way he acted so weirdly cagey about it when confronted and then especially when he slipped right back into being the biggest cunt in existence, bragging about the game he was about to play while Roy—

Even thinking about it now had Roy’s jaw hurting for the way he was clenching it. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. Because the point was… once Roy had had some time to calm down and think about it properly, he was forced to admit (reluctantly, and at Keeley’s insistence) that it didn’t fucking make sense.

Sure, Jamie had always been clever about zeroing in on people’s weaknesses and insecurities, as accurate with his digs as he was with a ball on the pitch, but there was no way he could have figured out that the once mighty Roy Kent was now enough of a moping little bitch that the mere idea of someone still finding him worthy of this kind of attention would have him – or at least part of him – giddy like a fucking child. Jamie couldn’t have planned the icy, numbing hurt that spread through Roy when he thought he’d been played for a fool, that all of it had been nothing but Jamie Tartt having having a laugh while climbing his way back up to the top of the footballing world. It had taken Roy by surprise, for fuck’s sake.

And then there was that moment, just one tiny short instant, right before Jamie opened his big fat mouth and Roy saw red, when there’d been something else on the younger player’s face. He’d looked… Well, if Roy didn’t know better he would have said on the brink of tears, but that was just fucking nuts, wasn’t it?

Then again, this whole thing was. Nuts, and bewildering to the point of driving Roy mental, which was why Roy was here, getting out of his car and walking up to Jamie’s bricked two-storey house, instead of hoovering Keeley’s kitchen and then having yesterday’s leftovers in front of the telly.

It was a surprisingly modest building, surrounded by a wall and winter-bare trees and bushes, and with some of kind of evergreen – too thick and bushy to be ivy – climbing part of façade. Expensive as fuck, of course, given its location in the actual village of Richmond, but cosier than what Roy would have thought expected Tartt to go for. The lights were on inside, and thank fuck for that. It would have been a pain in the arse if Jamie wasn’t home and Roy had to track him down.

Roy raised his fist to bang on the door, but paused at the sound of muffled shouting carrying  through the heavy wood. Someone in there was clearly in a very bad mood, and though he couldn’t quite make out the words, Roy was pretty sure it wasn’t Jamie. The voice was deeper, more ragged.

Before Roy could decided whether to knock anyway, there was a dull thumd and a loud crash, followed by the sound of glass shattering.

Roy forgot about knocking; he pushed the door open.

[bayisdying]

Lucky Penny- Chapter Four

A/N: I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE SOME FUCKING ANGST. THIS CHAPTER IS ALL ANGST. SORRY NOT SORRY.

(Okay I'm a little sorry) As always feedback is much appreciated and encouraged 🥰

Dogfight football had to be the dumbest thing Lucky had ever heard of. It made zero sense, and it hurt her brain. Plus while she worked out, sports were not her strong suit. She was however enjoying herself by tackling Fanboy as often as possible.

"Why are you so mean to me Lucky?"

"You make such an easy target!"

She couldn't deny the fact that her man looked damn good running around shirtless either.

Poor Fanboy's brain had short-circuited when he saw Lucky in her bikini top and shorts. He didn't even pretend to look away when she had shed the shorts. Standing there looking like a goddess in her tiny, black bikini. He noticed Hangman staring too, he didn't even blame the blonde. Lucky was hot as hell, but Fanboy knew who she would be sleeping next to tonight and it wasn't Jake Seresin.

As the sun went down the group decided to spread out a couple beach towels to chill on. Beers were drank, jokes were told, and Lucky never felt so close to a group of people before.

----

Now that Maverick was satisfied with their dogfighting skills, they were moving on to actually running the mission's course. After several mess ups, they moved into having four planes in the air at once.

Dagger One was Coyote, Dagger Two was Lucky, Dagger Three was Payback and Fanboy, and Dagger Four was Phoenix and Bob. It was going so well even with Maverick acting like a bogey trying to throw them off their groove. That was until they reached the 10G climb. Lucky watched in horror as Coyote went into G-Lock.

Even when he came back to, Lucky still felt like something wasn't right. That's when the bird strike happened and she plummeted towards the ground.

-----

The last time she had gone home to see her Mom, it ended in the same argument that always happened. Delilah Steele was a strong woman, and she was damn proud to have raised a daughter just as strong as she was. However, she still held a little resentment that her daughter had left her so soon after they had lost William.

Everytime Baylie came home it was the same. They would both play nice for the first few days, filling each other in on their lives. Then her mother would bring up her retiring from the Navy, coming home to settle down, and giving her grandkids.

Baylie wasn't ready to give up her wings, and she sure as hell wasn't settling down in Illinois. Mickey and her had talked a couple times about marriage and babies. They decided that California was only fair, that was where they had met and fallen in love. Plus that way neither of their families would feel inferior to the other.

Baylie had stormed out of her childhood home and flown out to California to spend the rest of her time off alone, in the home she'd created with Mickey. Crying herself to sleep, because she never wanted to hurt her mother.

Now as she spun out of control, she wished she had made up with her mother. Wished she hadn't stormed out, had instead hugged her mother and told her that she loved her one last time.

-----

The last time her and Mickey had been on leave at the same time had been over a year ago. They had only a week until they were both shipped out again and had spent that whole week in New York. It had been around Christmas time so they walked hand in hand around Times Square taking in the beautiful sights, while sipping hot cocoa. They had declared a snowball war in Central Park (Lucky had won, but Fanboy swears he let her win). And they spent every night under the sheets in a hotel room that was far too expensive for the accommodations.

When their week was up it had been a bittersweet goodbye. It never got easier leaving the person you loved behind.

"I love you so much mí amor."

"I know."

"Did you just Star Wars me?"

"I did, nerd."

As the ground came closer and closer she heard that same voice ringing in her ears telling her to eject. She couldn't respond, but she hoped that her nerd knew how much she had loved him for all these years. That if he had ever asked her, she would have said yes.

-----

The very last time she saw her father, she had been saying goodbye. He was so fragile and so pale. The past five months on chemotherapy had destroyed him. She knew it was the end. He wasn't getting better and the cancer had spread too much. It was only two weeks before her high school graduation and she hated that he was going to miss it. That had been his goal, he told every nurse and every doctor.

"I want to see my little girl graduate."

He wouldn't get that wish, but she knew he would be watching from somewhere much nicer than here. A place where he was no longer in pain.

"You can let go Dad, I promise we will be okay." She whispered. "It'll be hard but me and momma will take care of each other."

Then William Michael Steele took his last breath and his daughter's life would forever be changed. She would chase clouds across the sky, knowing that she was as close to heaven as she could get. Hoping that he could see her, and was proud of the path she had forged. Praying for more pennies from heaven.

As she pulled the eject handle, she could almost hear her father's voice.

"That's right, Lucky girl. It's not your time."

-----

IM SORRY FOR ENDING IT RIGHT THERE. BUT ALSO NOT SORRY. ANGST IS THE NAME OF THIS CHAPTER FOR A REASON.

I hope you enjoyed! As always thank you for reading and shoutout to my bestest friends on this silly app for loving these two as much as I do!

The Forevers: @kloofspeaks @notyoursbutlewis @roosterscockpit @callsign-milano @callsignthirsty @callmemana @likelyrowdy

The Discord Loves: @mtnofgrace @callsign-dragonbaron @cycbaby @askmarinaandothers @persephonesportal @callsignscupcake @mrsjaderogers @biehnybaby

[wrapnrappp]

feeling silly rn so...

ramuda headcanons !

- if you've seen my hypmi body hcs post, u know the basics... so ill put them all here. shes a polyamorous bisexual bigender transfem nd uses she/he pronouns... and shes fat👍

- cant cook or clean or do most basic human tasks cause he never learned how to. he always feels horrible whenever he tries to do these things since it reminds him hes not human

- despite her lack of basic human knowledge, she knows a lot about random things like playing cards and picking locks nd just like. things that rei found important, that was basically all he taught her. so whilst she has no idea how to file taxes, she can roll a MEAN joint

- he enjoys kids media and just childish things in general since he never got to be a child. it makes him feel a little more human

- her and hifumi are close friends, and have been even before the drb! they loveeee talking about fashion and makeup, nd just have a lot of fun together. hifumi was the ONLY person she felt comfortable telling about her little (HUGE.) crushes on gentaro & dice... she didnt stfu about them for AWHILE. but hifumi happily listened and provided the best advice he could. it was only fair really, considering how much he talks about doppo... btw ramuda being transfem doesnt conflict with all this, shes bigender. NOT a trans woman. so despite how feminine she looks hifumi is totally fine around her

- in addition to sewing, she also likes making jewlery!! particularly enjoys making earrings, she has all kinds of cute earrings to match all her outfits. and if she doesnt have a pair to match, shell make one !

- he jumps at ANY opportunity to make cute clothes for his friends, and especially so for his partners. christmas and birthday presents for gentaro & dice r ALWAYS made by ramuda. pouring his heart into making something unique for someone he loves just makes him so happy

- he refuses to wear ANY clothes he didnt make. part of it is cause. its pretty hard for him to find clothing he likes thats his size. but its mainly cause it makes him feel more like his own person?? if that makes sense. like hes not just another clone wearing the exact same thing as everyone else

- she picked up her love of sweets from hanabi. they had incredibly similar eating habits to what ramuda does now, and since that was what she was around she kinda just. thought that was a normal human thing and went with it. sweets r pretty much all she eats

- tried her hardest to not develop feelings for dice & gentaro bcause. obvious reasons. and keep her distance but fell in love HARD the more time they spent together... theres a bit of a trend with her falling in love with people shes not supposed to

- adding onto that a little, gentaro & dice got together before she confessed and it ATE HER UP inside. she wanted to b happy for them but she was so jealous, she felt so horrible. up until she couldnt take it anymore and confessed she cried over it almost every night and hated herself for feeling the way she did about them which led to her hating herself even more for having feelings in the first place and it all spiraled into a big ball of self hatred that she couldnt get rid of

- shes completely fine with sex, but TOTALLY hopeless with romance. mainly cause shes not used to being genuinely loved and has ZERO idea how to handle it. shell have no problem doing... anything sexual with her partners, but becomes a blushing mess when one of them does something as simple as hold her hand

- AND ADDING ONTO THATTT hes so sexual bcause its the only way he thinks hes allowed to fill his need for intimacy. he desperately wants to be loved, but he doesnt feel like he deserves genuine love, so he just FUCKS all the time. since hookups dont require feelings its the perfect solution in his mind. yet, he never feels satisfied in the end... likely hooked up with gentaro and dice individually (before gendice started dating ofc) to try and satisfy his need to be with them. needles to say, that did not work and just made him want them even more

- LOVESSS doing her makeup and nails, ull never find her with her nails undone and rarely find her without makeup on. hanabi taught her how, so its something fun shes always liked to do! her and hifumi do eachothers nails and/or makeup sometimes for funsies... even have little skincare days on occasion! she also paints gentaro and dices nails, and always makes sure they match. shes tried to talk both of them into letting her do their makeup for funsies, but neither of them were very excited abt that...

as always, will possibly be added to later💪

[bitbrumal]

                                                   QUESTION    ↤  @galactia​  ::  👫 + our ship & i’ll give you 4 facts  ↩

       ‘👫 (Zhong and Kaeya? ;D)’

i hate u ( affectionate ) for sending me this bc istg i TRIED to just write 4 snappy points but kaeya’s everything in response to zhongli is so juicy i kept writing whole posts on his psyche. i cut that shit & it’s still long as balls. this could have been about goddamn pancakes but i wanted to dig deeper & then it went too deep & now-

I.

kaeya goes out of his way to have possessions, tokens, or even parts of zhongli to physically entwine with him especially in his absence. the man’s generous in his affections, but the distance between them is generous too. whether it be braiding brown & gold into his own blue, voluntarily gifted- donning the fine robe zhongli had gifted him around christmas- piercing his ear a second & third time to wear cor lapis as close to inside him as is medically reasonable.          yes he eyes zhongli’s personal possessions when he’s over. yes he leaves his own most intimate ones when he leaves.

II.

although kaeya’s never bothered to learn to love anything, he’s so enamoured that he will try his best to enjoy bamboo shoot soup. it’s just... he hates bamboo.

III.

frequently breaks his brain over what to gift zhongli, & is RomanticTM enough to feel like,,, maybe to a man who sees how feral & rotten hollow he is about the concept of ‘love’... perhaps his heart is finally a fitting gift?           but then that seems stupid, so kaeya silently makes use of his inheritance & designs something achingly lovely. its weight & texture will be pleasant to the touch; the picture it makes a delight for the eyes. kaeya’s incredibly embarrassed about the wall of but i want my heart to be the gift he wants that continually gets in the way of any of these feats. just seems a bit rude to consider that burnt out husk of a heart an appropriate return gift.

IV.

zhongli’s endless dignity is the feathery lure to kaeya’s naughty, shameless cat behaviour. he gives exactly zero fucks about the man / god’s reputation--( since he’s fully convinced he can handle whatever's thrown at him anyway )--& will proceed to drag his own through the mud by smacking the man’s ass when he’s in the middle of a conversation, climbing him like a tree as they stroll through the market, snuggling up to him like a well-fed alley cat, & generally be affectionate in all the silly physical ways better suited to privacy.                    naturally, he has no intentions of actually crossing any real boundaries - just the ✨annoying✨ ones~~.

[ classified redacted essay under the cut. ]

I.

zhongli brings him a sense of belonging that outstrips the cold, horrible confidence that he’ll always be allowed back with his first ‘family’. a kindness that is fair, just, & lacks the blind willingness to sell himself cheap that diluc had had as a boy ( & possibly still has ). he brings an authority to the table that is more competent & dignified than varkas’, or all the current captains manning the ship in his wake combined. warmer than diluc by being less intense- & cold in warmth’s excess -than heat. more tempered--              hasn’t drawn a blade on him, fine, we’ll say it.        he comes with a stability that kaeya has never experienced - a sort of security that no doubt comes in part from his faux endlessness. but it’s the way he goes about being a person that grants someone in his company all these boons. it’s a shockingly ravenous thing. hadn’t known it could be this luxurious- just being around someone. is it less shallow for being more personal? or can he not say he loves him deeply, hah.

kaeya, in comparison, is only beneficial to be around when under duress. his qualities are mainly feigned so as to be wanted around long enough to do some benefiting himself. he tries very hard not to do that around zhongli unless he’s been too much of a bore. depression is a buzz kill.

II.

there is a special way zhongli clicks into his trauma & unlocks it, lets it flow freely 'away’. because much of kaeya’s terror toward him is direct. it’s morax he’s afraid of; one of celestia’s approved archons, one of those who fought in the war ( even if kaeya has apparently, deliciously / gratefully, misunderstood how )... all his life kaeya has been terrified because he now lives within the ‘eye of the seven’ or whatever. it could not be confronted with absent barbatos... even if kaeya after a few years deliberately went to a statue of him to see if he would, perhaps, be punished for existing some more.                  but zhongli not only allowed him to face & process his terror, he... despite kaeya having definitely not earned himself any points with a gentle, self-deprecating tone - by being forgiving, by blaming himself, by making it easy for rex lapis... being charming, being nice, being manipulative-

            he was allowed to hate & grieve & claw.

zhongli could have done actually anything. & continues to be able to. but does not. & not only is that true, but he makes a massive fucking point out of it.            kaeya never asked to be healed. he wanted to be dealt with, to be done with it all. if he had to fear something he had no hope at all to control- kill me or yield to me. the dragon does neither,..     fairly, kindly, honestly. wouldn’t stand for false accusations but stood for anything else-

the best man he’s ever met is a god & he’s furious about it. or perhaps, perhaps he’s just- perhaps this is another kind of passion. ah, yes -- all that hatred ( & boy is there hatred ) transmuted into love. recontextualised by the mind yet, stemming from the same generous part of the brain.

           it is the strongest emotion kaeya can give,                & it is breathtaking to be proud to gift it to him.

        my condemner, love me whole.

III.

kaeya is a little worried he’s just met a god so kind he’s... in a relationship founded on pity. but zhongli continues to be kind & open, & while it is impossible not to doubt - it is shockingly hard to have no reason to believe in something far too good to be true.

          it’s just that kaeya trusts in vulnerability & cruelty,     & the balance makes some sense. he could be strung along for a greater payoff later -- but kaeya has met one other impossibly kind man. even if they no longer speak. diluc made it possible at all for him to believe something like this, but that’s not anywhere near enough. zhongli-

[anandabrat]

Nightmare Warehouse, day 4! With, as always, @starshipblueberry.

“What’s the last thing you remember? Or maybe the first thing… I think my brain is leaves, Helena. Leaves. How am I even thinking? I have no synapses to fire! And if I did get near fire I’m pretty sure I’m very, very flammable.”

Helena chuckles and squeezes Myka’s hand with her boney phalanges. “I was already on fire, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Okay, so either you are taking this very well, or I’m in the middle of a full blown panic attack, and I’m not sure what is worse!” Myka snaps and tries to hit Helena with her other hand. but it is still missing. “I miss my arm. I would like my arm back, please.”

Helena scratches her skull, in a mannerism that does not belong to her, but that in this world feels very pensive. “Well then. I think we should make that our first stop. Do you remember where in town you were when you lost your arm?”

Myka takes a deep breath. “I do. But first I think we need to see if what we remember from before is the same. Maybe there is a clue that can help us…. Get out of here.” The ghost dog Zero whines a little when Myka says that.

“Oh, Zero, don’t take it personally,” Helena says warmly, and scratches at his ghosty ears. “We were at a party. At the BnB. A Halloween party. And Claudia said she had a surprise.”

“Right. Halloween party. And Claudia started playing music.”

“And it felt like falling.”

“Curiouser and curiouser. Right, falling. And I woke up…”

“...In a hallway with doors,” Helena supplies.

“Now that,Alice in Wonderland. No, I woke up in a movie theater, red chairs and everything… did you wake up somewhere else?”

“It appears so, I woke up in a hallway. Four doors or so. I went into one, and a red headed man with tinted glasses looked me up and down and shrugged in an ‘you’ll do’ sort of way. He did my makeup” Helena gestures at her face. Perhaps it started off as makeup, but it is becoming more and more believable by the minute. “And then he sent me to another door, and another man with prominent cheekbones helped me into this fine suit. He sent me into the theater room you describe and the screen went all shimmery…”

“And you stepped through. I did, too. I don’t remember the other two men you mention, just the theater and then I felt pulled –”

“From your belly button?”

“Right. Like being late for a math test. I had to get here. I had a job to do.”

“Hmmmmmm.” Helena strokes her chin. “Do you smell fudge?”

“No. I smell leaves. Decay. Do you?”

“I appear to have lost olfactory senses. And possibly my nose?”

“Fucking hell, Helena. Are we in a movie? The theater, makeup, costumes… but this doesn’t feel pretend. I mean. Arm. Missing.” She gestures at Helena’s face. “ Nose. Missing”

“Indeed. Movie Magic. It is rather amusing.”

“Is it though?”

*** 

“Pay up!” Pete whoops and does a victory dance.

“With what? Anyways she didn’t figure out what movie,” Steve protests, but not with a lot of  oomph. “Who hasn’t seen Nightmare Before Christmas?”

“Those two!” Claudia whines. “Having the best adventure in the history of adventures, and we are just stuck sitting here watching it. I would have this solved like that!” She snaps her fingers.

“No doubt that is why the whammy picked them, “Pete injects sagely. “ That and all the, you know. Sexual tension. No sense pouting about it, Claud. And as much fun as sitting here watching this is, we probably need to… explore? Try and help?”

“You’re just outta cookies,” Claudia says, sticking her tongue out.

“Also that. And I’m dying to see if who is in makeup is who I think it is.”

“He’s a master of fright and a demon of light,” Steve sings. “God I love this movie. Okay. I think. You two go check out makeup and see what you find, and I’ll stay here and keep an eye on Myka and Helena. None of us are onstage for ages, so I think we can move around?”

“Solid plan. C’mon Pete, let’s go get scary.”