#Church Road Records

[blastbeat]

the sun’s journey through the night [united kingdom] // atmospheric black metal.

"abolishing consciousness” is from the album “wordless”, released via church road records in 2023.

[gbhbl]

Album Review: Giant Walker – Silhouettes (Church Road Records)

Giant Walker’s development over the past few years is quite simply astonishing and Silhouettes is all the proof anyone needs of that statement.

Newcastle’s eclectic progressive rock outfit Giant Walker are back to deliver a master class in heaviness and musicianship. Their sophomore LP ‘Silhouettes’ is out through Church Road Records on the 20th of September 2024. Anticipation is high, as high as it could ever be thanks to the singles we’ve had from the new album, but even then, it’s stunning to find a band living up to it and…

[senorboombastic]

Release Rundown - Philip Jon Taylor, PIJN, Other Half and Outlander

Words: Ben Forrester Philip Jon Taylor – De Nada(Wish Fulfilment) Last summer, I went to see Scottish singer / songwriter Philip Jon Taylor open up for Willy Mason at a Church in Chester and it was magic! It also made me get back into Phillip’s band PAWS, who then went on to make one of my favourite records of last year with their superb self titled fifth album. Not only was it great having…

[themetalwanderlust]

Short Album Review: Breaking the Trauma Bond - Voices

Short Album Review: Breaking the Trauma Bond – Voices

Band: Voices Album: Breaking the Trauma Bond Label: Church Road Records Release Date: November 26, 2021 Genre: Progressive Black/Death Metal Location: United Kingdom There is an element to Breaking the Trauma Bond that made me think of hearing Fear Factory for the first time. That excitement of hearing something that truly sounds “new” because of how disparate influences have been brought…

[yourlocalpileofcrows]

Can't believe The doctor has blue hair and pronouns

[chaoticdesertdweller]

Floyd, VA

[conscious-naivete]

my mom is trying to pawn off our many bottles of blackberry wine by telling ppl how the blackberries were picked fresh and the one guy goes, ‘oh where do you pick them?’ and i’m like, ‘oh our yard, we live out by [village]’ and he’s like ‘oh, yeah yk i pick them along [road], up on that bank.’

READER,,, you will not believe who else happens to pick berries on that exact road, up on that bank,, and also live in the house,

[perfect-snaccccccc]

love it when we do bible study 🥰 @ye-olde-trojan-horse

[actual-corpse]

OF COURSE THERES A PLACE CALLED FUCKING "DOOMS CHAPEL" IN CREEP-ASS SYMSONIA!

[hard--headed--woman]

"I had to fight to be myself and to be respected. I'm proud to say I'm a lesbian. I don't talk about it too much, but I don't deny it. I've had to confront society and the Church, which says that homosexuals are condemned. It's absurd! How can they judge someone who was born that way? I didn't learn to be a lesbian, nobody taught me to be the way I am. I was born this way. I've never slept with a man. I've never slept with a man. Yes, I'm a virgin and I'm not ashamed. My Gods made me this way"

- Chavela Vargas

Chavela Vargas (María Isabel Anita Carmen de Jesús Vargas Lizano) was a Mexican singer of Costa Rican origin, born in 1919 in Costa Rica and died in 2012 in Mexico.

She is considered a leading figure in ranchera music, which she sang with strength and emotion. Her voice, rough and warm at the same time, served her theatrical, passionate and human interpretations of standards from the traditional Mexican repertoire.

"And since I have to say it almost everywhere, I'll say it: my parents didn't want me. I suffered for it".

She has an extremely difficult and conflicted relationship with her family, who do not accept her in any way. As a teenager, she left her country and her family for Mexico. The young woman rejected and criticised the ultra-conservative society in which she lives. Once in Mexico, she began singing in the streets.

In the 1940s, she became friends with the painters Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, staying with them for a while and becoming Frida Kahlo's lover.

At the age of 30, she was noticed on Mexico City's Avenida Insurgentes by the composer and famous rancheras singer José Alfredo Jiménez, who became the author of her main hits. With his help, she performed in the cabarets of Mexico City in the mid-1950s before embarking on the road to success in Acapulco, an international tourist destination, where she sang at one of Elizabeth Taylor's weddings.

Chavela Vargas rose to fame in the 1960s and 1970s, touring the world. She became a well-known figure in ranchera song, to which she gave a new lease of life.

Dressed like a man, smoking and drinking like a man, carrying a pistol, "the lady with the red poncho, silver hair and brown flesh" as the Spanish singer Joaquín Sabina described her, is characterised by her red sarape.

In a television interview in 2000, she came out as a homosexual woman. This is where the text at the beginning of the post is from!

Chavela's career reached its peak from the recording of her first album (Noche de Bohemia) in 1961 until the end of the 1970s. This was followed by a long period of fifteen years, during which the singer, suffering from a heavy addiction to alcohol, interrupted her musical career, which she did not resume until 1991.

Encouraged by her friend, the director Pedro Almodóvar, who compared her to Édith Piaf, Chavela embarked on a world tour, performing at the Olympia in Paris and Carnegie Hall in New York. Among her most outstanding performances was Tú me acostumbraste by Frank Domínguez in Pedro Almodóvar's film Babel. Being a close friend of Pedro, she has appeared in several of his films, including The Flower of My Secret.

Following a final concert in Madrid on 10 July 2012 to present her album (La Luna Grande), she was hospitalised in the Spanish capital with serious respiratory problems. She died on 5 August 2012, aged 93.

I am sure you know at least one of her song, La Llorona !

In any case, Chavela was an immense artist who had a profound impact on music, and I'm delighted to have discovered her, or rather re-discovered her. I listened to some of her songs and they're amazing if you like that kind of music ! And please look her up yourself, she was such an interesting person, I couldn't talk about everything in this post or it would have been too long !

[gbhbl]

Album Review: Iress - Sleep Now, In Reverse (Church Road Records / Dune Altar)

Unique, incredibly well thought out, and extraordinary music. This is Iress and this is what the experience of Sleep Now, In Reverse offers.

The stalwart Los Angeles-based dream metal band, Iress, will release their brand-new album, ‘Sleep Now, In Reverse’, on July 26th, 2024, via Church Road Records (ROW) and Dune Altar (USA). With anticipation having reached feverish levels, Iress finally bring us Sleep Now, In Reverse, and it is a very special album. One that can be difficult to describe as Iress’ sound is unconventional. How do…

[senorboombastic]

Album Review: The Sun’s Journey Through The Night - Worldless

Words: Ben Forrester The Sun’s Journey Through The Night is the brainchild of a Birmingham based musician who goes by the alias of ‘No One’. No One has been releasing his full throttle blend of black-metal since 2020, releasing two brutal full lengths in the same year. But with a live band now behind him, this masked crusader of alt-metal is taking the project to the next level with third album…

[blueiscoool]

Viking-age Treasure Came to Scotland From West Asia

Ten years on from the discovery of the Viking-age Galloway Hoard in south Scotland, experts have revealed that part of the collection came from West Asia.

The collection - described as one of the most important UK archaeological finds of the century - was found by metal detectorist Derek McLennan in 2014.

A lidded silver vessel was discovered still wrapped in its ancient textiles, which is extremely rare, and meant that the surface of the vessel could at first only be seen through X-ray scans.

Experts say the vessel is originally from what is now central Iran and it was transported halfway around the world more than 1,000 years ago. The vessel was found to contain other treasures, like silk and brooches.

Its textiles have now been partially removed and preserved, and the vessel has been cleaned using lasers which removed any green corrosion and revealed details of the design, including crowns, fire altars, leopards and tigers.

This imagery is unusual in western Europe but it is linked with the iconography of Zoroastrianism, the state religion of the Sasanian Empire which was the last Persian empire before the early Muslim conquests from 632AD.

The hoard - which contained more than 5kg of silver, gold and other materials - was discovered on what is now Church of Scotland land near Balmaghie in the historical county of Kirkcudbrightshire.

Dr Martin Goldberg from the National Museums Scotland said the vessel was "further evidence of the cosmopolitan make-up of the Galloway Hoard".

He said: "We now know that the Viking-age silver that makes up most of the Hoard was melted down from coins and metalwork from early medieval England.

"Some objects, like the lidded vessel, stood out from the rest and the scientific analysis now confirms this.

"It is incredible to imagine how the vessel made its journey halfway round the known world, from Iran to this distant corner of southwest Scotland.”

The artefact from about 900AD is set to go on public display for the first time next week, on loan to the British Museum’s upcoming Silk Roads exhibition in London.

Other objects from the Galloway Hoard will go on long-term display at the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh, while a portion will go on show at Kirkcudbright Galleries.

Dr Sue Brunning, from the British Museum, said: "We're delighted that visitors to Silk Roads will be the first in the world to see this key object from the Galloway Hoard.

"Among its remarkable contents were Scotland's earliest recorded silk, and so it is a highly appropriate inclusion in the exhibition."

[shalotttower]

Equations

Title: Equations Characters: L Lawliet x Reader (female) Summary: A short snippet of Reader and L moving places. Probably can be counted as imagine. Word count: 990+ Notes: yandere L, kidnapped Reader, captivity, L and Reader were together at Wammy's House, Stockholm Syndrome, L is being a shithead gremlin.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs.

You're not religious at all, but those words glimpsed once on a bookshop wall stuck in your mind when Wammy's House stayed behind, somewhere in-between the pages of your journal, so carelessly flipped through by a boy with a blank expression, who had and still has no idea what those verses mean.

"What is it?" you ask, when Watari enters your room with a suitcase.

"We're leaving in an hour," he says. "Get ready, please."

You don't argue.

L doesn't have many rules, and most of those existing are unspoken. Some can be bent, some can be bargained and twisted into an illusion of freedom until it snaps. But if Watari comes in and tells you to get ready, you obey. It means you're moving somewhere else, another place unknown. So you pack: clothes, shoes (just two pairs, there's nowhere to wear them anyway), hygiene necessities which fit neatly inside one single bag.

When you get in the car, L is already there, looking through the window. The glass tints everything a tone darker.

Watari starts driving.

The first time you used it as a chance to understand where you were, memorize the road signs, the turns. By the eleventh you stopped caring, because it didn't really matter ─ even if the whole world map was imprinted inside your head, what would it do?

So you lean against the seat and watch the cows in the pasture on the right. Everything is green and yellow outside. Some rural town probably ─ a happy little world tucked away. A small part of you wishes to exit this car right here and now, just to see what happens. Intrusive thoughts are like that sometimes. They pop up and disappear without a reason or logic behind.

The sun is bright.

There's a church up ahead, with freshly painted doors and windows which have a stained glass pattern of white lilies among golden rays of light. A beautiful work of art put onto display for whoever cares enough to look.

You wonder: if God existed, what would he think of L's fingers curling over yours. The touch is barely there at all, yet you feel it down to your bones.

Love is patient, love is kind. His thumb brushes over your knuckles.

"What are you doing," you ask flatly, not expecting a reply. It's a reflex, like the knee jerk reaction, to ask him questions, because otherwise who knows what's there in that shaggy-haired head of his.

"Holding your hand," L says.

"I can see that. Why?"

"Why not?"

"That's not an answer."

"Then ask a better question."

You turn to look at him and immediately regret doing so, because his eyes are wide and focused, and you can see your own face reflected there. Between his bony fingers and yours are lifelines crisscrossed together by a forceful hand.

"Stop that," you tell him without much heat behind.

L doesn't look away, nor does he stop staring.

"Stop what?"

"That."

"If I knew what you're referring to, I'd probably have better chances of stopping it."

L tilts his head to the side. So that's what it is. One of those times when he feels a tad more playful, a bit more nagging, and tries to drag you into a verbal game that doesn't end until you surrender and let him have his way.

The church is long gone by now, and the cows too. Just empty space surrounded by trees which line up along the sides of the road.

You wish you were tired enough to nap through the rest of the ride, but since Watari brought a humidifier for your room, your night sleep has never been better. That leaves reading, and you pull an e-book from your bag to continue the novel started a few days ago.

You feel his head lean closer to your shoulder halfway through chapter six. His hair has grown a bit and tickles.

"Find your own book," you murmur and flip to the next page.

L hums and stays in place.

Ten minutes pass, then fifteen, he doesn't move and you wonder ─ when. His fingers are linked loosely with yours and you haven't tried to pry them off yet. Why haven't you?

When did you start tolerating his presence to this extent?

It's quiet save for the tires noise. Your index finger taps a pattern against the screen. Tap-tap-tap.

"The killer is-" L begins right when you get to the chapter nine.

"-male-" he continues despite your elbow hitting his side.

"-mid-thirties, dark hair-"

You slam your palm over his mouth, and the e-book falls from your lap onto the car floor. L blinks once before licking your hand like he's five years old instead of twenty three stepping into twenty four. You yelp and wipe it off against your jeans while Watari coughs in the front seat.

"You-" you catch yourself mid-sentence, then take a deep breath. "I would appreciate if you didn't spoil the books I'm currently reading."

Or movies you're watching; or games you play; or anything at all really whenever it catches your attention long enough to become invested. He doesn't do it often when he's on a case, but off those L tends to get very bored very quickly and finds entertainment in your reactions.

His lips twitch, and you know 100% percent that he's going to do it again until you give up on reading altogether and spend the rest of the ride talking to him instead, though "talking" is a loose term here. More like indulging whatever topic L decides to fixate on this time around, because if you ignore him, he will be just as content with staring at you for hours on end with nothing but silence between you both.

[intuitive-revelations]

I've got a kind-of crack theory about Ruby's mother...

Back in The Church on Ruby Road, Ruby is invited onto Long Lost Family, a genealogy TV program hosted by Davina McCall, with the hope of finding some information about her bio family. Unfortunately, they come up with nothing.

[ID: 6 gifs showing Ruby and Davina McCall talking to each other on the phone from The Church on Ruby Road. Davina apologies to Ruby, who tries to hide her upset at the news.

DAVINA: "There is no trace of your mum or dad. I'm sorry. It happens sometimes." RUBY: "No, that's fine... Thanks but, um, could you keep looking?" DAVINA: "No, there's nothing more we can do. If your parents aren't on some kind of database, we can't find them." RUBY: "Ok, um... isn't that unusual though? There's not a single trace anywhere? I mean... in the whole wide world, my mother's never left a blood sample or anythin'?"]

Now obviously, I know tracking down family is hard and, especially for orphans and adopted children, there's no gurantee that you'll be able to get the information you need. But I do find it odd there's seemingly "no trace" of Ruby's parents.

The section where I go on an odd tangent about genealogy

Speaking as someone who isn't a genealogist, but does enjoy researching family history in what little spare time they have... in my experience, close DNA matches aren't that hard to find. Especially if you're of white european descent, as Ruby is (presumably).

(It's generally harder for other ethnicities, as most research resources are white english/american focused. I know this is especially tricky for people like african-americans, where many of one's ancestors may have been enslaved. I've personally also found it tricky with Jewish communities as historically many of them used patronymic names prior to the 1800s, plus you have to account for immigration name changes, pogroms etc.)

For example, as someone who is white, with a mix of various british, mainland european, and ashkenazi ancestors, I actually have thousands of DNA matches, just from an autosomal test on Ancestry alone, let alone something like an mtDNA, xDNA or yDNA test:

[ID: Edited screenshot showing maternal and paternal DNA matches on my AncestryDNA profile. There are 16279 maternal matches and 9745 paternal matches.]

Obviously, due to the way family trees work, most of these are distant matches, however it does include plenty of close ones too, which I've been able to trace to real records and identify relationships with. Personally, my matches even already include many 1st and 2nd cousins, albeit usually a one or two degrees removed, especially as the userbase tends to swing older on these websites. This includes a few people close enough for me to have already known them from family functions and shared annecdotes. Meanwhile, where I did have blank spots, from immigrations, estranged family members, early deaths etc, I've been able to fill in a lot of information.

So what does it mean that there's "no trace" of Ruby's family?

Deliberate or not?

The big question I've had since The Church on Ruby Road is: just how untraceable is Ruby's family?

On one hand, I feel like if this was real life and professional TV genealogists were helping you, you'd get a bit more information than a quick phone call saying they've got zilch. If they're sharing nothing... do they literally have nothing?

On the other hand, this also feels like a writing shortcut. We don't really need 3 hours of Davina McCall sat with Ruby at a computer breaking down every question and theory about possible family members. Ultimately, this was probably just a way to quickly get some major exposition out there, plus throw in a Christmas celebrity cameo for casual viewers. The fact they only talk about Ruby's "parents" being in a DNA database, and no-one else, doesn't give me a lot of faith in the care for accuracy RTD took with this plot point tbh.

Indeed Davina does say 'it happens sometimes', which could indicate it's not as extreme as having zero close relatives...

...but Ruby also asks if it's unusual for there to be no trace of anything, which Davina doesn't answer. If we're asking that question, it sounds like things really could have turned up that blank.

It may not be easy for orphans and adoptees to find family, but I assume it must be quite rare to have zero possible leads? Especially if you're a younger person, and thus may have a good number of people of the right generation to know/remember your family members still alive. Worst case scenario, I can imagine having some leads, only for someone to be uncontactable, or lack the information that would be useful. That being said, maybe I'm being too optimistic, as someone who had the priviledge of never having as much difficulty.

The weird sci-fi parallel (TW: incest (kinda), intersexism)

This is where we get to my theorising. Because in a science fiction context, and specifically a time-travel one, there is one quite famous short story that has a protagonist with zero family connections: '—All You Zombies—' by Robert A Heinlein.

(Fun fact: "All You Zombies" is also the name of a planned Class Ongoing story, once I get the time to resume that.)

You may also be familiar with the movie adaptation: 'Predestination'. It's also seemingly the inspiration for all sorts of similar stories, from 'The Man Who Folded Himself' to Red Dwarf and Futurama.

You might see where i'm going from that last one...

(Again disclaimer: if you seek it out, that this story may be quite triggering. It also was written in 1959. While it's actually somewhat respectable of a trans (kind-of, you'll see what I mean - I'll generally use the pronouns used in the text below) protagonist, it includes sexism, intersexism bordering on medical horror, and selfcest/incest.)

In 1963 (funnily enough), a lonely, orphaned 18 year old woman named Jane has a sexual encounter with a man in a park which ends up leaving her pregnant. When complications arise, the doctor discovers during a successful caesarian she's actually intersex, with a form of ovotesticular syndrome, with her immature, partially developed organs "a mess". He removes the now damaged womb, ovaries etc and, without consent, 'rearranged things so that [they] can develop properly as a man".

A few weeks later, the baby is stolen from the hospital by a man.

Despite all this tragedy, they do decide to complete their transition, restarting life as a man. He struggles to find work, but eventually finds himself making a living selling fake confession stories to magazines as "the Unmarried Mother".

Years later In a bar, he tells his story to a Bartender. After it all, the Bartender reveals he's actually a time agent and offers the chance to see his baby's father again. He drops him off in 1963 to find the man.

Meanwhile, in 1964, the Bartender steals a baby from a hospital, and drops her off at an orphanage in 1945.

The Bartender returns to the Unmarried Mother a month later in 1963, just in time to see him leaving a lonely young woman he met with in a park...

"Now you know who he is", the Bartender says, "—and after you think it over you’ll know who you are... and if you think hard enough, you’ll figure out who the baby is... and who I am.” He drops the Unmarried Mother off in 1983, where he can be recruited by the Temporal Bureau.

The Bartender, Jane, the Unmarried Mother, the kidnapper, the Father, and the Baby are revealed to all be one person, a family tree onto themself. The perfect time agent, causally disconnected from the rest of humanity and thus safe from Faction Paradox - if they are truly human at all (possibly explaining their biological bi-sexuality).

Thus, literally, having no relatives.

NO, OF COURSE I don't think this is what's up with Ruby!

But...

A lot of people have suggested that the woman who drops off Ruby could be herself. Obviously this doesn't necessarily mean Ruby is her own mother - let alone her own intersex father, child, and recruiter too!

But the story did come to my mind watching the Christmas special, and I do think the less squicky side of it, the 'perfect time agent' angle is worth considering. Could Ruby really be causally/genetically disconnected from the rest of humanity? Could she literally have no close relatives?

Assuming her DNA is not taken from any other person, but some semi-random mix of genes, she really may not match with anyone. At most, she would have some distant false matches, who share very small portions of DNA with her just by statistical fluke.

"BUT", I hear you say, "Didn't she get rewritten by the literal butterfly effect in episode one? She must be connected to humanity!"

Yes she did. But you know else happened?

She was still there.

Seriously think about it. Time travel fiction often doesn't think about the full consequences of time being altered even slightly, especially for a gag, but think about it literally. If all of human history was changed and a whole new species, possibly descended from Silurians, became dominant on the planet...

... why would the Doctor still happen to be travelling with someone with a name beginning with 'Rub-' who looks like Millie Gibson? Remember her name comes from Ruby Road... so does 'Ruby Road' exist on Rubathon's Earth? The Church presumably doesn't, unless there's a lizard Jesus...

At the very least we can point to the Web of Time being particularly reinforced around Ruby for some reason, even after all the damage it's taken between Flux and now, letting Ruby persist into the new timeline. This is explicitly confirmed in the last episode, with the Doctor calling it a fixed point.

At worst, it may imply whatever 'designed' Ruby just needs her to meet the Doctor, no matter what the dominant species on Earth is.

Mind you, both of these do open questions about what happened in the timeline where Ruby was eaten by the Goblin King. Maybe targetting her after her birth left her temporally vulnerable? Or maybe it was a necessary event, to bring the Doctor to Ruby Road...

Add this to some other things we've seen this season:

In Space Babies, we're introduced to the concept of 'baby farms', allowing people to be loomed born without a parent.

We also know, at least, that Ruby registers as human to the TARDIS (though given Sutekh's influence, who knows how trustworthy that scan was now!).

In The Devil's Chord, Ruby is not erased by Maestro destroying humanity. Granted we can put this down to the Doctor/TARDIS, and how time travel effects people's biodata, but I think it could be a misdirect.

(Interestingly there was a very similar plotpoint in "City of the Daleks", the Eleventh Doctor adventure game, which saw the New Dalek Paradigm invading Earth in...1963. Unlike Ruby, Amy eventually actually does start to fade, needing a 'chronon blocker' to stabilise her. Hey remember how we just heard the word 'chronon' used a bunch in the show.)

In Boom, the Ambulance is entirely unable to find a next of kin for Ruby, despite seemingly having her in its records. This is a little hard to dissect, as you could take a lot of different interpretations away from it. At the very least, it suggests Ruby doesn't have any living descendents in the 51st century. Carla probably doesn't either (which makes sense with her not having any bio-kids, and Ruby seemingly being the only child she fully adopted rather than fostered?) But for its extensive records, it's notable it still couldn't find anyone after that, even presumably with access to Ruby's DNA like the genealogists had.

Everything in 73 Yards.

Between the snow falling in each episode, plus context in The Legend of Ruby Sunday, we know that Christmas Eve on Ruby Road, while fixed, is also uniquely vulnerable and 'raw'. With the woman's changing reactions to the Doctor, it's also flexible enough to change, somewhat.

Similarly, the possible connection between the woman who dropped Ruby off and the woman in 73 Yards, between her face not being visible and the CCTV camera being around 73 yards / 66.6 metres away. And if that woman really was Ruby, then maybe the parallels to All You Zombies may not be as insane as they sound.

[honkhonk-ducky]

I typed this out at the same time as my attempts at putting things into the computer, so if someone's already done this already I'm sorry :(

I'll edit as I find more and/or see more mentioned on the internet or from friends.

SPOILERS under cut.

Hectoring - A funny little song accompanied by a preacher narrating the tale of when someone in church confessed to meeting Bill Cipher.

Bill Cipher/Cipher - Takes you to the Wikipedia page on triangles.

Dipper - A note from Bill pops up telling Dipper there's secret messages in TBOB that one can only be seen if he stares at the sun for 13 hours.

Mabel - Stickers start popping up around the workspace. If you enter Mabel enough times the computer says 'Lab now fully Mabelized".

Stanley/Stan - Takes you to ebay where you can purchase a set of brass knuckles! If you enter it repeatedly it takes you to even more ebay pages with Stan-themed items, and eventually to the "Wheel! Of! Shame!" where Bill offers some commentary on Stan.

Stanford/Sixer/Ford - A case report pops up on Ford talking about his extra finger.

Soos - A long letter from Soos pops up that is a little bit of him warning us not to read TBOB, and a lot of him rambling about himself.

McGucket/Fiddleford/Old Man McGucket - Takes you to the Cotton Eye Joe music video.

Wendy - A note from Wendy pops up (don't look in the bottom right corner).

Pacifica - A note from Pacifica pops up with her version of a warning not to read TBOB.

Robbie - Brings up excerpts from a chat between Robbie and Thompson talking about searching for Bill in the woods. There's also an image from a video of them running away from him.

Gideon - An audio recording of Gideon humming a song comes on (I don't know what song), before he whispers "I'll love you forever Mabel".

Waddles - Takes you to the website pigplacementnetwork.org

Tad Strange - A video of someone cutting bread plays on the computer, with romantic saxophone music in the background.

Mystery Shack - Brings you to a Google search on Confusion Hill, California.

Axolotl - Text shoes up on the computer saying "You Ask Alotl Questions".

Blendin Blandin - Text shows up on the computer saying "Time Agent Lost and Presumed Incompetent".

Theraprism - A card pops up saying "IN CASE OF (symbols) DO NOT USE ELEVATORS". There's a picture like a road sign of a man running down the stairs from Cthulu(?)

Globnar - Takes you to a 90s commercial titled "CROSSFIRE".

Euclydia - Text shows up on the computer saying "Dimension Not Found".

Weirdmageddon - An excerpt from the Gravity Falls Gossiper shows up, presumably displaying an article from directly after Weirdmageddon.

Gravity Falls - Text shows up on the computer saying "Never heard of it".

Toby Determined - Brings you to a Google search on restraining orders.

Bill - Takes you to a Sesame Street video titled "Jazzy Triangle Meets A Square Square"

Journal 1 - Text shows up on the computer saying "The Journal of Fun"

Journal 2 - Text shows up on the computer saying "The Journal for You"

Journal 3 - Text shows up on the computer saying "The Journal for Me"

Sevral Times - Text shows up on the computer saying "Sevral Times - Luv u Girl/Dawg/Fool/Beef"

Baby/Baby Bill - An ultrasound image if baby Bill shows up with text underneath saying "CONGRATS, GUESS WHAT'S GROWING INSIDE YOU RIGHT NOW! SEE YOU IN 9 MONTHS PAPA!"

Deer Teeth - Text shows up on the screen saying "FOR YOU, KID!"

Glass Shard Beach - A picture from "The Wildwoods by the Sea, New Jersey" shows up. I think it's from an amusement park??

Gun - Text shows up on the computer saying "Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both" (the Tik Tok trend???????)

Portal - Text shows up on the computer saying "Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build one."

Pines - Text shows up on the computer saying "A Good Family Tree."

Trigonometry/Pythagorus/Math/Shapes - A note from Bill shows up talking about his experience with Plato and Pythagorus in Ancient Greece.

T.J. Eckleburg - Text shows up on the computer saying "Never mention that name again".

Triangle - Text shows up on screen, alternating from ")" to "Tri Harder".

Universe - Text shows up on the computer saying "Hologram"

Book of Bill - Text shows up on the computer saying "Hide it Under Shirt During Pledge of Allegiance".

Alex Hirsch - Takes you to a Google search on flannel.

Blind Eye - Takes you to one of those eye exam posters with all the letters. There's a colour code at the bottom, but if you click on the poster it gets progressively blurier and I don't know if I can revert it.

Weird - A video of someone (It might be Weird Al but I'm not sure???) shows up on the computer. The guy was apparently trapped inside the computer by Bill.

Mystery - A question mark shows up on the computer.

Life - Text shows up on the computer saying "Life: 72% Complete. Now Loading: Death"

Death - Text shows up on the computer saying "Life's Goth Cousin".

Blanchin' - Takes you to a Youtube video explaining how to blanch vegetables.

Dippy Fresh - Takes you to a Reddit post with a picture of the Burger King Kid's Club.

Morality - A fun game pops up where someone (Bill, probably) asks you to find morality in the natural world.

Disney - Text shows up on the computer saying "Rat.gif Censored for Your Protection".

Giffany - If you enter Giffany repeatedly she eventually downloads a bunch of files onto your actual computer.

Matpat - A video of Matpat shows up saying we're on our own for TBOB. (NO, PLEASE COME BACCCKKKKK)

Vallis Cineris - An animated gif of child Bill being held by two staticky triangles shows up on the computer. Is also accompanied by a robotic voice saying "WHY DID YOU DO IT?"

Mason - A note from Dipper regarding anagrams pops up.

Tyrone - A picture of Paper Jam Dipper pops up with the caption "Here, he's your problem now! Just keep this guy from liquids!"

Sorry - A picture of McGucket and Ford in college pops up. Flipping over the picture gives writing from McGucket on how he became friends with Ford.

Monster - Brings you to a Google search on the book "THERE'S A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK"

BABBA - An audio recording of Dipper singing Disco Girl (with an interruption from Grunkle Stan that I think is from Dipper vs. Manliness?) plays.

Creepypasta - Brings up a photo of The"Always Garden" with some commentary from Bill.

Skibidi/Rizz/Gyatt - Text appears on the computer saying "Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas."

Titans Blood - Text shows up on the computer saying "Hoot Hoot. Password please!" (This is a reference to The Owl House)

Pinata - A video of someone beating a pinata of Bill appears on the computer.

Ad Astra Per Aspera - A two page journal entry from Ford pops up detailing what he and Mabel did when they discovered Bill's statue.

Love - A book titled "The Love Triangle" pops up on screen. If you click it, someone begins reading it like an audio book.

God/Help Me/Save Me - A video of a real life axolotl swimming by a statue of Bill plays on the computer.

Even His Lies Are Lies - An excerpt from, presumably, one of Bill's therapy sessions from the Theraprism pops up.

Caryn - Text shows up on the computer saying "I knew you were gonna write that."

Filbrick - Text shows up on the computer saying "I'm not impressed."

Fuck/Shit/Bitch/Milf - A paper with an image of soap appears on screen, captioned with "Not S&P approved. Wash your mouth out with soap!"

Platinum Paz - A story shows up on screen of the night after Northwest Mansion Mystery. It details how Pacifica has a dream where Bill disguises himself as Nathaniel Northwest to try to trick her into making a deal to steal a "snowglobe" (the dimensional rift) from the shack. Pacifica doesn't take the deal and the dream ends.

Divorce - An image of the O' Sadley's logo pops up on screen. (THIS IS WHAT BILL DRANK AFTER FORD STARTED HATING HIM, LMAO)

Lies - A vintage image of people playing The Game of Lies (a spin on the boardgame Game of Life) pops up on screen. Underneath is a several paragraphs long commentary of Bill talking about how lying is amazing and we shouldn't shy away from it.