#Cliff burton angst

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Metallica Masterlist

Masterlist

James Hetfield:

That'll Do It

Don't Stop

Boot Riding

Smutty Headcanons

Secrets in Love

Lunch Break

Stress Relief

Pool Float

Party Favor

Insecure Reader

Somnophilia

Hallway Madness

Lars Ulrich:

Godmorgen

Submissive Lars

Kirk Hammett:

Cliff Burton:

Holding Hands

He's Still playing

Jason Newsted:

Switching Positions

Robert Trijillo:

[aishnico]

#𝘾𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙁 𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙊𝙉: 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

» summary: spending valentine’s day with your beloved one while listening the vinyl he bought for you

» word count: 1.2k

» warnings: major fluff to angst with no happy ending, grammar issues

"hey babe! i have a surprise for you," you called happily while approaching him with a small box.

"oh? is that my late birthday gift?" he asked playfully.

you rolled your eyes. "babe, you know i didn't forget your birthday. indeed, i was the first one to celebrate you."

"yeah, because we live in the same house." he got more playful.

"ugh... i just wanted to connect your birthday with today. i'm not that rich, you know. so i bought only one thing for these two days."

"hey..." he said while taking the small box away from you and putting it on the coffee table. "i'm just messing with you. you don't know how much i appreciate all the things you do for me. i love you and you only. i'm so lucky to have you." he now trapped you between his arms. he was smelling mix of cigarettes and your favorite cologne of his.

"i love you too cliffy. so, so much. and i think we are both lucky to have each other." you looked up to him and met with his sweet smile. he kissed your forehead and then gently pulled you away.

"i have a surprise for you too. wait here." while leaving the living room. making you feel excited.

after a couple of minutes, he returned with a brown paper bag. he then sat next to you.

"first, open yours." you said while grinning. he nodded and took the box from the table and started to open it.

"it's kinda heavy. babe..?" he looked at the thing inside the box. it was a bass pedal he had been looking for a while.

"babe!" he put away it and then hugged you tightly. "you don't know how much i needed this, thank you so much!" he said while hugging you tighter.

you were working hard on your job to buy this. you didn't tell him, but he already knew that. it was the best gift for both his birthday and for valentine's day.

"cliff, babe, i can't breathe-" he finally let you go but the grin on his face didn't.

"now open yours."

you took the paper bag to your lap and took out what was inside of it.

holy shit...

it was pink floyd's wish you were here vinyl.

and it was from the 1975 edition. even so, the cover of it was looking new.

you couldn't help but gasp loudly. he knew this was your favourite album of them. whenever y'all go to vinyl shops you would look for this.

"cliff, babe-"

"shh," he said while taking the vinyl from you and opening the cover of the record player. he then carefully placed the vinyl on it and placed the needle. seconds later, you heard the intro of shine on you crazy diamond. the vinyl sounded so clearly. he really did find the best for you.

you then snuggled each other. him resting his head on your head while you rest yours on his chest.

"you know, this is not the best album to listen to on valentine's day."

"then why did you place it there?"

"just wanted to make you happy."

"well then, let's just relax a little. then i promise to listen with you to motorhead, sabbath, misfits, or whatever you want."

"i'd like that." he said happily before dozing off on you. you joined him minutes later.

you both woke up at the beginning of wish you were here. looking at each other sweetly. he then suddenly got up and reached out to you. you gave him your hand not knowing what's he planning.

he dragged you a few steps from the couch. placing his arm to your waist and other is pulling your arm up. you smiled at him while placing your free hand behind his neck. burying your face in his chest.

so, so you think you can tell

heaven from hell?

blue skies from pain?

can you tell a green field

from a cold steel rain?

a smile from a veil?

do you think you can tell?

"clearly this is also not the best song to listen to on valentines day." you said breathing in his presence. your voice sounded sad. knowing the story behind this song.

"yeah... hey, what's wrong?" he asked and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"i don't know about the other songs but, this song and shine on you crazy diamond were written to group's old band made, to the soul of the group, syd. listening to it now reminds me of him." you paused. "oh, sorry... today is supposed to be our day."

"well, i'm sorry for him, for them. i know this is not going to help but, if you don't pay attention to the lyrics, it sounds like a song to slow dancing with your partner."

you smiled. "you're right though." buried your face further on him.

how i wish, how i wish you were here

we're just two lost souls

swimming in a fishbowl

year after year

"you can't even imagine how much i love you cliff. i always gonna love you, i always gonna support you. as long as you let me, i always gonna be by your side. even if we break up in the future, i'll always wish you and to band the best."

"bold of you to assume that we're going to break up in the future." now both of his hands were on your waist. leaning his head on yours. "i swear to you, i'll never leave you and let you leave from my life. you're all i want, all i need. i love you, more than you'll ever know."

tears were continuously falling from your eyes. he gently pressed his hands on your cheeks and wiped them away with his thumbs.

"hey now, i didn't say all of this just to make you cry." he smiled at you and gently pressed his lips against yours. it was a sensual kiss. after a couple of minutes, you pulled away slowly, smiling at him.

when the last song ended he took out the vinyl carefully and placed it back to its cover.

"don't forget, only death can separate us. i promise." he said and grinned before he went to place the new vinyl on the shelf and pick the vinyl he wanted.

— october, 1986

he really kept his promise.

you didn't know when you finally accepted this to yourself.

you didn't even know if you could visit him, did you really have that strength? could your heart endure?

endless telephone calls, visits from your beloved ones, the newspapers... all of these made you weaker and weaker.

but you had to. you had to fly there and tell things you wanted to say. you had to be strong for his family, you had to be by their side. you had to support the band emotionally like they've supported you.

you finally got up from your couch, went to the bathroom to wash your messy face. after taking a deep breath you started to look for plane tickets to sweden.

running over the same old ground

what have we found?

the same old fears

wish you were here

[munsons-melody]

something that tears me up inside is knowing that eddie died in the spring of ‘86 and cliff burton died in fall of ‘86 so eddie never knew about the bus crash 😭

[ilovepapahet]

Sweetheart

Chapter One

the start of it all, the relationship.

James is 18 reader is 17

Warnings: Angst, James is an asshole, mentions of trauma, mentions of alcohol

Let me know if I missed anything

————————————————————————

You have been dating James since grade nine only cause he was a year older than you. It was great you both loved each other you both got great compliments, went to semi formals together. You were there for him when his mom passed away when he was sixteen and went to prom together. Until James joined a band. Sure you were happy for him more than happy this was his dream, but he was forgetting about you.

It hurt you. You loved him so much he was there for you no matter what and you were there for him.. no matter what.

You’re getting sick of it though, how he doesn’t care anymore. At all. You tell him something that’s been bugging you. Her ignores how it irritates you all together. Your best friend, Lars, who you go to a lot with your troubles. You tell him how you feel about James and what’s going on between you two. “It just.. doesn’t make sense Lars, is it something I did. Did I upset him. Am I annoying?” You flop down on Lars’s bed, Lars listens closely.

Your Parents weren’t…. The greatest and you had to move out. You had no where to go, but Lars’s dad let you stay. Both Lars and you were close since elementary school, grad one to be exact. You’re practically brother and sister.

“I don’t know, I don’t think you did anything. Want me to talk to him?” Lars looks at you over his magazine. “No you don’t-.. LARS WHAT THE HELL!” you notice the magazine he has in his hand. A porn magazine. “That’s disgusting” you laugh as you grab it out of his hand and throw it across the room.

“Hay it’s just a magazine!” He laughs “Just a magazine?! That’s so nasty” you both laugh for a bit. “Seriously though. Do you think James, doesn’t… I don’t know. Love me anymore?” A wave of doubt comes over you.

“Obviously not. You should hear the way he talks about you at band practice” Lars jokes.

“I’m being serious”

“Ok ok and I am too. He only talks about how much he misses you, even though we’re at band practice and he can see you whenever he wants. Ask Cliff”

You look at Lars and roll your eyes. “Ok. Promise me you’re not lying”. Lars looks down at you “I promise”.

————————————————————————

The next day. A few weeks before Lars and James graduate you went to James to talk to him about how he feels about it. “Hay babe” you run up beside James and rap your arm around his, he looks down at you unfazed cause you do that a lot and he’s used to it.

“Hay” he says as he looks away from you. “How are you” “fine”, you look up at him confused by his dry response “How do you feel about graduation?”.

James sighs in annoyance “I don’t know”, “Are you nervous?” You ask wanting a better answer. “Oh my god, stop asking about it” he snaps at you. You pull away from him quickly “Ok.. sorry”.

He looks down at you and rolls his eye, “Ok sorry… just please I don’t want to talk about it. I’m more worried about my band”. My band? His band?… What the hell was he talking about? “What do you mean.. your band?”, James groans in annoyance “the band I’m in” he says as if you didn’t know and he’s telling you this big secret.

“Yeah.. I know it’s just.. why’d you say it like that?”. He looks at you and crosses his arm “Oh so now my tone irritates you”.

“What? No james it’s just.. you’ve been acting different ever since you joined the band”

“Ok look I’m sorry we’ve just been working really hard”

“I know Lars told me… and you don’t tell me anything anymore” you mumble under your breath.

“What was that?” James steps closer to you now angry.

“I said you don’t tell me anything anymore baby. I want to know what’s going on with you. I care about you” you tell him truthfully “You just don’t really care.. anymore…”

James sighs “Ok I’m sorry…. I just really care about this band. How about this. I’ll bring you to band practice after school, how’s that sound”

“ok… thank you”

“Alright bye, see you after school. Will be at Cliff’s house”

“Ok, bye see you later. Love you”

“Yeah I know”

James walks away going to his next class leaving you… he doesn’t say I love you anymore.

————————————————————————

After school you head over to Cliff’s house… without James. In fact you get there before him. You ring the door bell and Ray, Cliff’s dad greets you at the door. “Hi, how are you. I haven’t seen you in awhile” he smiles at you “Hay Ray I’m good. I’ve been.. busy” you smile awkwardly “That’s alright, the boys are in the basement” Ray steps aside to let you through. “Thank you Ray”.

Walking down into the basement you can hear Dave, Cliff and Lars. Of course James was late. “Hi guys.. no James yet?” You wave to the guys. “Hay.. yeah James is always late” Cliff laughs lightly smoking a cigarette like he usually did.

“It’s annoying though. He knows when practice starts” Dave says rolling his eyes. “Where the fuck have you been. I haven seen you in months” Dave says putting his guitar down to go and hug you. “I’ve been… um.. busy”.

“Busy with what.. James” Dave jokingly winks.

You go silent for a second. “No.. not really”

“what?” Cliff raises a brow.

“Umm… me and James.. haven’t been-“. Just as you’re about to tell them what’s been going on James comes around the corner.

James Looks at you a little surprised you actually came. “Oh.. you actually came” he says sounding a little disappointed.

“What’s wrong?” You ask James confused by his tone. “Nothing… I just didn’t think you would actually come” James says looking away from you and setting up his things. You felt upset by his tone it obviously was because he didn’t really want you there, maybe you really were just… annoying.

“What.. did she come on her own?” Lars asks looks at James in confusion, “No. I invited her I just didn’t think she would come… she’s been acting dramatic”. Your head shoots up at James. You stop yourself from saying anything as they start to practice. Dramatic? How are you being dramatic? And that was rude to say. Not only about your girlfriend, but to you’re friends too. You pick up a music magazine that was laying around so you could calm down a bit.

————————————————————————

When the guys finished practicing they decided to have a few beers. Nothing to bad… just Dave taking it a little to far as per usual. He tries to sing but due to him being drunk… it’s not very good, it makes you laugh because he’s so out of it.

Everyone is basically laughing at Dave’s drunkin stupidity… except James. He seems irritated by him being drunk, your not upset bye it. Sometimes it’s a bit overwhelming when people are drunk. You would know… your dad is a drunk, but it’s different with Dave because he’s not mean and scary when he’s drunk. Unless someone makes him mad and agitates him enough.

Cliff ends up having to call Dave’s girlfriend to pick him up. He ended up passing out on the couch.

After Dave left you, James and Lars stayed for a bit longer with Cliff. “I think practice went well today” Lars says keeping the mood light hearted. “Yeah until Dave got drunk” James says, “what do you mean? He was alright today he wasn’t mean”. You reason with James.

“Ok but. You’ve been through enough drunk people.. I don’t think you need that”

“I’m fine James, he wasn’t making me uncomfortable. If he was… I would have walked away or told you”

“He still should know better”

“what do you mean. Know better?” You raise a brow at James.

“I mean.. your dad is a drunk and Dave is usually… an asshole”

”Ohh… but when your dunk. It’s different?”

James looks down at you now frustrated. He pulls you by your arm out of the room so you could talk… alone.

“Can you ever keep your mouth shut. It was one time and it was an accident”

You roll your eyes at his comment “That doesn’t mean it didn’t make me uncomfortable James. You didn’t even apologize. I even told you, I didn’t feel like being around you when you were drunk. Sure sometimes I’m ok with it was I was feeling anxious that night. And you promised me you wouldn’t get drunk”

“Will you ever let that go it was one time”

“Sure… but stop getting mad when Dave’s drunk. Why do you even get mad at him when he’s drunk?” You pause “I get he can be mean sometimes, but he was fine tonight”

”Cause… he.. he’s just irritating and I don’t want to deal with that”

“Than why don’t you walk away?”

James stopped and thought for a second. He makes it seem like you’re gonna leave him for Dave. Sure Dave was cute and funny, but he’s not your type at all. You missed the shy boy you meet. When he could barely look you in the eye or keep up a conversation.

“I miss the shy boy I met back in grad three” you blur out. James looked up at you taken aback by your comment. You leave the room having enough for the night.

When you leave the room you find Cliff and Lars sitting by the door. Lars looks up at you feeling sorry for you.

On your walk back home. You sobbed. Why was James acting like this, why was he treating you like this. What ever happened.

————————————————————————

And that’s chapter one of Sweetheart. I hope you guys liked it I’m currently working on chapter two already.

[saintyveningstar]

Overture to "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Op. 21: Allegro di molto

Cliff gets his little sister out of drug trouble with their parents

Cliff turns down the volume on his bass when he hears shouting coming from the living room. Like a child, he peeks his head out of his bedroom door to snoop. 

"Simone, a fourth of the alcohol is missing, and then this?! Explain this!" Their mother shouts, and Cliff is surprised. His little sister Simone has always been a goody two-shoes, as far as he could remember. 

A fourth of the Alcohol missing? He thought, What else did they find?

"Simone, answer your mother." Ray says, and Cliff has a feeling that whatever they found was bad. Of course, his mother didn't particularly like it, but they let him grow weed in the house and sell it out of his backpack — so whatever Simone had must've been horrible.

He heard his little sister's voice, "I-It's not mine."

"It was in your bathroom, Simone!"

"Mama ... I—" She's at a loss for words now, she doesn't know what to say.

Cliff decided he should intervene. And hey, It probably wasn't hers. Oh, and that alcohol missing? Yeah, that was him. What, he didn't think they'd actually notice.

He pulled the guitar strap over his head, and left his bass on the nearest flat surface he could find — which happened to be his cluttered desk. Whatever, he'd fuckin ... buff out the scratches later, he guesses.

He stalks into the living room, where Simone is standing sheepishly in front of their parents, crying. There was a little baggie of yellow, red, pink, and white pills. Then, there was another little baggie with white powder in it.

Holy shit.

"Oh shit, Ma, you found it! I've been looking everywhere for those!" He said.

"Mind your language, Cliff, c'mon." Ray said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Is that what all this is about, these pills?" He asked.

"So these are yours, then?" Jan asked.

"Yeah, you didn't know? You thought they were Simone's? C'mon, Ma."

"You said you wouldn't use marijuana as a gateway drug, Clifford. That's what we agreed."

"Mom, I have them with the intent to sell. My bass is coming out of the shop soon, which means I have to pay soon. Relax. Hey, maybe you should take one of these." Cliff said, matter of factly.

"Alright, boy." Ray said, "That's enough. Get your ... pills off the table. Take your sister with you."

Jan crossed her arms, practically turning her nose up. Cliff took the drugs off of the end table, looking his sister in her eyes and nodding towards the hallway. Simone followed him back to his room, and he closed the door behind them.

"Have a seat." He said, going over to his radio and turning the volume up. His parents didn't need to hear this conversation. Cliff sat down on the bed across from her, wiping his nose and sniffing. "Ya owe me, Simba."

Simone was still crying, wiping her eyes. "They really aren't mine, Cliff. I swear—"

"Hey, I believe you. You're going to make yourself faint if you don't calm down. Breathe, you're not in trouble anymore." He said. "Now, why do you have PCP ... and whatever this stuff is?" he held them up.

"My friend, Libby, her boyfriend is like a dealer, I guess, and he was going to get in trouble at school. We were on the bus, and she stuffed it in my backpack right before her stop. And I didn't know what to do, so I hid it in the bathroom." She looked up at Cliff, barely meeting his eyes. She expected him to be disappointed in her, but she only saw his heart breaking.

Cliff clicked his tongue,"Libby's not your friend, Simone." He said, softly. "She sees you as a scapegoat. You don't have to snitch or anything, but cut her out of your life. It's as simple as that. Did you take any?"

"No, never." She shook her head.

"Good, that's good. Cause then, I'd have to kick your ass."

Simone smiled and laughed, "But what are we gonna do with them? I can't just keep them."

"What, did you think I was kidding? Those repairs ain't gonna pay for themselves, Simba. These are my drugs now." Cliff chuckled.

"Seriously?"

"Hey, what do you say I give you 'bout .. mm, 20%. Can we call it a deal?"

Simone held out for hand for him to shake, smiling widely, and Cliff took it. Then, he pulled her into a hug. 

"Yeah, we can call it a deal."

[feverinfeveroutfic]

sunburn | ashes to ashes

THE RETURN OF FEVER! I have had these rolling around in the back of my mind ever since fever ended last summer. it was nine books, but there were a myriad of moments where i could have added a little more intimacy to it. mind, i’ve always considered myself more a storyteller than anything, but i was experiencing a lot of emotional distress then, questioning my sexuality and unpacking way too many bad feelings associated with it… i still struggle with it a lot but it’s not as awful as it used to be. (besides, whenever i write anything sexual, it’s meant to help me feel better about myself). i’m feeling 30 stories here and, though we have kinktober as well as kinkmas and fuckuary, i often wonder why we don’t have kink-related stuff for springtime, what with “spring fever” and everything.

“I’m home!”

She thought she would never hear those words again after Metallica had embarked on their tour. It was one of those fears that followed her wherever she went, especially whenever she left New York to visit her parents over there in Reno or even a little trip anywhere in New York City. Cliff had had a narrow escape already at a venue the night before, as someone had tried to nick him with a knife the size of a loaf of bread. He had called her and told her about it after it happened but she knew that it was enough to strike the fear of god into her.

She had hung up the phone and buried her face in her hands even though she was alone in her Bronx apartment. She thought of all the bad things that could have happened while he was out there on the road, and she didn’t want to think of those bad things, either. She slid her fingers down her face and peered out the window to the sunbathed street below. The people of the Bronx out there on the sidewalks, minds of their own, worlds of their own, families and stories of their own, private lives of their own…

Sam had never been one to be very sexual in the past: she had touched herself before, but there was so much that she had to overcome in the meantime. While Cliff had been away on the road with the boys, she had looked on at herself in the mirror in disbelief. She would take off her clothes to examine every inch of her body, and yet she wondered how in the world anyone would love this body, to feel it, to hold it, to love it, to make it feel welcome and like it has a place in this bizarre thing called life. She would listen to The Cherry Suicides’ album given their lyrics had that feeling to them but she still couldn’t feel it for herself. A feeling that oft eluded her no matter how much she wanted to feel it for herself.

Cliff was without question the first boy she had ever really had a crush on in her life, even at the ripe age of twenty-two. She always had the strangest looks whenever she would tell someone about her absence of a first kiss. How could someone that young be so beautiful and yet so undersexed, and she never could say as to why, either. At times, it felt as though there was a language that she had never learned before that very moment there in her apartment 

But since she had moved to New York the year before, and she had met Anthrax as well as Metallica and those neighboring bands out of the Bay Area, Exodus, Death Angel, and The Legacy, she knew that she would have to change things at some point.

Sam sauntered over to the windowsill for a glimpse out there to the street. She merely lived on the third floor but the people down on the sidewalks made her think of army ants. If only she could share her art with some of them somewhere along the line, and she could be the one to watch and desire herself, and she could be the miasma that was the “it” girl. 

Such was the life of the artist in uptown New York.

She spotted Zelda and Louie down on the sidewalk right across the street, and she smiled to herself at the sight of them. Something about Louie cheating on his girlfriend with such a hot babe like Zelda made so much sense that Sam almost didn’t have to think about it twice. That short black hair with that slender wiry body, slender from several years of pounding on drums to stay out of the streets of Narragansett and Providence, slender from living rather poor and isolated most of her life. Louie, meanwhile, had that long smooth hair down past his shoulders with that part that swept across the side of his forehead. 

Still very much a boy, and Zelda only made him appear that much younger by being next to him.

Sam saw Louie mouth the words “Hold my hand” to her. Zelda showed him a smile and said something to him. Sam was eager to hear Zelda’s Rhode Island accent again after a time. There was something so satisfying about it, especially with Sam having hailed from the West Coast where accents muddied out and sounded homogenous. She watched them cross the street together, and she wondered where they were headed. After the phone call with Cliff, there was no way that she could waste another moment up there in her apartment.

She swiped her keys from the stand and hastily locked the front door. She hoped to catch Zelda and Louie before they headed up the street as she nearly dropped the keys. Everything blurred around her as she sprinted down the stairs to the landing down below. She breezed past Emile’s apartment door, and she never bothered to take a peek inside to find out if Aurora was in there and she needn’t look, anyway.

The front door squeaked open as she emerged into the bright morning sunlight. The glare caused her to squint her eyes but she looked on at the street before her.

“Zelda!” she called out to her, and she and Louie turned their attention to her, and their faces lit up as a result.

“Hey, Sam I Am!” Zelda’s voice sailed through the noise of the street behind them like a high wave of the beaches of Narragansett. Sam padded down the steps to meet up with them with her arms wide open. Louie showed her a little smile as she embraced Zelda.

“Oh, man—it’s only been a few weeks since we saw each other!” Zelda declared.

“I can’t hug my best friends?” Sam asked her as she rested a hand on her shoulder for a moment.

“Of course you can—this was just sort of—”

“Unexpected like me?” Louie chimed in.

“Exactly, yeah!” Zelda laughed at that as Sam put her arms around him and he returned the favor.

“I actually wanted to give you guys a hug because Cliff called me last night to tell me that he got mugged right outside of the concert hall,” Sam explained.

“Holy shit!” Louie declared.

“Oh, my god, is he alright?” Zelda asked her, stunned.

“Yeah, he’s okay—” And Sam shuddered with the feeling of fear once again as she stroked her upper arm with her fingers. “—the guy threatened him with a huge knife, though. Had to give up his belt buckle because he didn’t have anything else on his person to give to him.” She then turned to Zelda, the working class girl from the smallest state in the country who had been intimate with herself from day one. “I also wanted to ask you, Zelda—about something… on the sexual side.”

She glanced over at Louie, who gave his hair a toss with a flick of his head as if he was about to pounce across the front of Playgirl magazine.

“Well, I’m a small town girl from New England,” Zelda told her in a low enough voice for her to hear for herself. “I know my way around that part’a town.”

“I want to do something hot—for Cliff,” Sam sputtered out. “Can we do that?”

“Yes, we can,” Zelda assured her with a twinkle in her eye, and she turned her attention to Louie. “And sweet little Luciano here is more than welcome.”

“Gladly,” Louie proclaimed.

It was a wind, flash, and a blur as Sam followed Zelda and Louie to the place where she had only ever dreamed of going to before as a young kid in California and Nevada, the one street that seemed so seedy and cast in shadow all the time, even at high noon when the sun hung high in the sky and cast everything in the brightest light possible. She was glad that she had locked the door prior to leaving because she knew that they would be in the red light district for a while. She was amazed that she lived so close to it, given it struck her as a mere regular street of New York whilst in passing.

“This is where Mo and Min used to come to when they were working on the weekends,” Zelda explained over the noise of the street. “They couldn’t last long because they missed Narragansett too much and decided to join me in making music instead. I’m glad they did ‘cause I dunno how long I could’ve lasted without my best friends at my side.”

“Music saves, you know,” Louie pointed out.

“It’s saved all of our lives,” Zelda assured him as they strode past a low building on the corner with blacked out windows and bright red buzzing neon on the outside. Sam brought her hand to her upper arm once again as if to protect her chest. They seemed to line the streets all around her as they strode along the sidewalk, all of them faceless, all of them with the presence that sent a chill up her spine as well as the pervading feeling of guilt.

They passed an erotic bakery before they reached the lingerie shop: the first thing that Sam spotted upon Louie holding the door for her and Zelda was a series of sex toys and blindfolds on display. The mere sight of them made her blush as well as breathe at a faster pace. The door closed behind her and the three of them were enshrouded in lush red light, as red as the feeling of the fever.

The toys came in small sets, complete with smoothly crafted special boxes as if someone could take them on a picnic at some point. Sam held a hand to her chest to feel the pounding of her heart from within. It was all happening so fast, and with such conviction that she had no idea as to where to begin with it all. She watched Zelda pick out a new camisole for herself.

Sam swallowed, and then, completely on impulse, she reached for the black tin lunchbox closest to her. She held her breath and took a glimpse inside to find a black satin blindfold, a bottle of lubricant, a silicone dildo, a pair of green metal balls the size of nickels, and what to looked to be a vibrator but about the size of a cork straight from a bottle of wine. She swallowed again, and she couldn’t recall a time where she never felt thirstier before. She skirted along the side of shelf to meet up with Louie, who was looking on at the leather teddies as well as the blow-up dolls hung up on the rack on the wall.

Sam closed the box and gasped for air. Though it wasn’t very warm in the shop, she swore that she was about to suffocate if she breathed a little too hard. She closed her eyes and fanned herself with the tips of her fingers. It was a real struggle to try and contain herself and the anxiety within her. If only she could just relax and feel the sexuality within her, like those metal boys and like the Cherry Suicides themselves—

“Sam, are you alright? You look like you’re about to pass out.” She opened her eyes to find Louie and the look of concern on his face.

“Yeah, I’m just—not really used to this sort of thing,” Sam confessed, and she let out a low whistle.

“Little bit of anxiety?”

She nodded her head.

“I know the feeling,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows at her. “And it sucks, too.”

She gasped and swallowed, as if she had been submerged in water and she struggled to find a single iota of air.

“Believe me when I say this,” he assured her. “The more you get exposed to it, the more you get used to it. The more you get used to it, the more you want to see it.” He flashed her a wink, and the smirk returned to him again. Right at that moment, Zelda stepped out of the dressing room donned in a white camisole that seemed a little extra small than she had warranted: she was so thin that the smallest size they had on hand was still a little too big. Sam glanced down at her own heavier body and wondered how Cliff could found a body like her own attractive.

Then again, Louie and Cliff were two completely different men. The feeling really did overcome her, and she hoped that this little black box could help bring her some peace of mind as well as comfort with Cliff.

And yet, the box sat on her shelf over the couch for a few days, this lingering demon that tempted her from clear across the room when she walked in for the morning. A big black spot against the soft eggshell white color of the walls, and thus, there was no way that she could miss it, even when she bowed her head away from it.

On the third evening, and she had curled up on the couch with a book on her lap, she peered up at the shelf and the end of the box closest to her. It wasn’t that high above her, but she knew that she had to reach up to take it off and open it up once again. She paid more attention to her book, however: only every so often, she glanced up there above her head for a look.

It was if it taunted her all the while, the little repressed girl who froze and flushed at the mere mention of having a first kiss. The mere thought of that spread into more thoughts, and then more and more until she reached the point that she could scarcely concentrate on the words on the page. She lay the book across her lap and looked up at the box. The apartment was silent save for the low hum of the refrigerator in the next room as well as the noise on the street and the neighbors down the hall.

No one was paying attention to her.

Sam tucked the bookmark into the book and set it on the coffee table next to her. Careful not to fall, she stood up on the couch cushion and picked the box off the shelf. She climbed off the couch and took her seat with it in her lap. With another swallow, she opened the lid.

The smooth faces of the Ben wa balls shone under the warm light of the lamp next to her. The satin on the blindfold shimmered with the feeling of being brand-new. She picked up the lubricant, and she knew right away that it was meant for her ass—

A knock on the door broke her concentration, and she hastily closed the lid and tucked it around the arm of the couch, out of sight lest anyone walk into the kitchen for something. She fanned herself once again and straightened out her hair with a swipe of her hand.

Sam fixed the bottom of her shirt as she padded on over to the front door. There he was, wrapped in light denim and with the cowboy hat upon his head to better accentuate the soft hair which spread over his slender shoulders. He towered over her but he showed her the bouquet of yellow tulips all for her and accompanied it with a smile.

“There he is!” she declared.

“Here I am!” He opened his arms for her, and she put her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. Cliff bowed his head as if he was about to blanket her with his hair.

Sam lifted her head and showed him a smile.

“God… I really missed you,” she confessed.

“I really missed you more, though,” he retorted with a kiss on her lips, a move which sent a chill down her spine. Her first kiss for real at that point.

“Is that a challenge?” she asked him.

“Only if you want it to be,” he retorted once more, and once more with another kiss on the lips. It happened all too quickly, and yet it was a pace that she could work with because the anxious feeling had moved along rather quickly as well. She moved back away from his face for a look into those luminous eyes.

“I have a little surprise for you,” she told him in a soft voice. Sam took him by the hand and guided him over to the couch. He kept the smile on his face as he gazed up at her: he reached up for the crown of his hat, but she wagged a finger at him.

“Hat stays on,” she told him: she spoke from the flesh. Sam then reached for the box behind the couch, and she placed it on the coffee table before him. She never thought twice about it as she unbuttoned her jeans and let them slide down her legs to her feet. Cliff leaned back and crossed his legs for her. Sam locked eyes with him as she reached for the Ben wa balls. He raised his eyebrows at them.

“What’re you doing with those, babe?” he asked her in a near whisper. She glanced down at those smooth little orbs, attached together by a narrow string and as smooth as glass. The woman in the shop said they should just slip into her little lips without a drop of lubricant.

She sighed through her nose and peeled off her underwear so she was exposed to him. His eyes widened at the sight.

The first one did in fact slip into her lips, and the second one stayed in place right behind her clit. The cold smooth feeling only made her straighten her spine and buck her hips a little bit in his direction.

“Holy shit,” Cliff breathed.

Sam then reached into the box again, that time for the blindfold. Her mouth was dry once again but she persisted. She slipped the blindfold over her head and eyes, and she was surrounded by complete blackness.

There was nothing behind her, and thus, she sank down to the floor: the balls kept her from closing her legs all the way, and she knew that she was wide open for him.

The rustling of denim caught her ear. Though everything was dark, she could feel his presence there before her. She had only just kissed him, but they had been a thing for months at that point. It was time, her time now.

“I want you to slip it out,” she told him in a low, husky voice. It felt rather odd for it to enunciate itself from her lips, but she still said it to him, and she said it with the utmost seriousness that she could provide for him. The feeling in between her legs was only coupled with a feeling of rising, a feeling of being on the come-up.

She never moved a muscle. She relaxed every inch of her legs, and then she could feel his fingers there. She wanted to close her legs but there was no way she could. Cliff slipped out the Ben wa balls and she treated him to a low, euphoric moan. The fact she couldn’t see it only added to the feeling.

“Shit, I wish I was having as much fun as you just now,” he said; she could feel his soft lips kiss the inside of her thigh. The little line of fuzz on his upper lip only made her rise again.

“I think there’s something in there for you,” she told him, out of breath. A brief pause.

“This little ring here?”

“That’s the one,” she sputtered out.

“This ain’t gonna fit on me, babe,” Cliff assured her. “I’m too big.”

Sam opened her lips to say something but she was cut off by the feeling of his lips on the inside of her thighs. The feeling of anxiety welled up within her once again, but at least she could only see the veil of blackness all around her, and the anxiety had risen in junction with the real feeling that she wanted, and that was his lips on her own for the second orgasm. Sam tilted her head back and let out another moan as he stuck his tongue inside first.

A third and biggest orgasm was coming as she could feel his tongue hit the head of her clit. She needn’t see it as she came twice more for him.

Her elbows shook from holding herself up for so long, and she lay down on the carpet, flat on her back. She could feel his body on top of her own, and it took her a second to realize that he had taken off his shirt at some point: his bare skin caressed over her own.

The darkness lifted away for her to gaze on into his handsome face.

“Stay with me forever,” she whispered to him, and he kissed her on the lips again.

“You know I will,” he vowed, also in a whisper.

[aplaceforyourhearttorest]

Metallica Masterlist

⭒ James Hetfield ⭒ Requests (open)

Playtime (16+) ˚ (suggestive, bondage contemplation, ambiguous ending)

Play Me (18+) ˚ (phone sex, partial long-distance relationship, ambiguous ending)

Taste Test (18+) ⭒ (threesome with jason, vampire!au, ambiguous ending)

Summon Me (18+) ˚ (demon!james au, dorm sex, ambiguous ending)

Deprivation (18+) ˚ (breath play, hotel sex, happy ending)

Sunny Side Up (18+) ˚ (morning sex, kitchen sex, creampie, happy ending)

Missus Eat Pavement (18+) Mister Meet Gravel (18+) ˚ (rockstar!james, smalltown!reader, oral sex, ambiguous ending)

Desert Hills Motel (18+) ˚ (traveling!james, smalltown!reader, hotel sex, happy ending)

Add One More ˚ (domestic fluff, partial angst, happy ending)

Leap Of Faith (18+) ˚ (angst, backstage sex, rough sex, happy ending)

After Afterparty (18+) ˚ (fluff, hotel sex, shower sex, long-distance relationship, happy ending)

Hell's Angel (18+) ˚ (hellsangels!au, angst, violence, sex on top of a desk, drug use, happy ending)

Backseat Paradise (18+) ˚ (car sex, light angst, fluff, partial long-distance relationship, happy ending)

Counterproductive Tendencies (multi-chapter, 18+) ˚ part one, part two, part three, part four (fluff, smut, angst, drug use, alcoholism, semi-public sex, oral sex) ⭒ ongoing series

Needy Little Fucking Thing (18+) ˚ (softdom!james, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, happy ending)

(Un)Still Shots (18+) ˚ (semi-public sex, sexually explicit photography, breath play, fingering, dry humping, happy ending)

A to Z (18+) ˚ (alphabetical sex list, oral sex, semi-public sex, fingering, bondage, phone sex, mutual masturbation, creampie, happy ending)

Backstage Birthday Pass (18+) ˚ (birthday surprise, fluff, smut, oral sex, fingering, dressing room sex, mirror sex, unprotected sex, creampie, happy ending)

⭒ Kirk Hammett

A Nightmare On Elm Street ˚ (fluff, slightly suggestive, happy ending)

Scream (18+) ˚ (couch sex, rough sex, horror movie elements, happy ending)

Unwind Me (18+) ˚ (fluff, backstage sex, happy ending)

Room For More (18+) ˚ (threesome with jason, dominant!jason, submissive!kirk, backstage sex, oral sex, fluff, light angst, happy ending, polyamory)

A to Z (18+) ˚ (alphabetical sex list, oral sex, mutual masturbation, public sex, cumshot, bondage, sex tape, roleplay, voyeurism, happy ending)

Pages Deep (18+) ˚ (fluff, smut, mutual masturbation, fingering, partial edging, unprotected sex, creampie, happy ending)

⭒ Jason Newsted

Taste Test (18+) ⭒ (threesome with james, vampire!au, ambiguous ending)

Extended Cut (18+) ˚ (submissive!jason, studio sex, oral sex, ambiguous ending)

Room For More (18+) ˚ (threesome with kirk, dominant!jason, submissive!kirk, backstage sex, oral sex, fluff, light angst, happy ending, polyamory)

A to Z (18+) ˚ (alphabetical sex list, begging, bondage, fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, sixty-nine, creampie, roleplaying, semi-public sex, voyeurism, vibrators, happy ending)

⭒ Lars Ulrich

Ride The Lightning (18+) ˚ (angst, rough sex, sex against drum set, happy ending)

Baseline (18+) ˚ (partial angst, fluff, oral sex, public sex in shower room, rough sex, creampie, happy ending)

⭒ Cliff Burton

You Make Loving Fun ˚ (domestic fluff, partial long-distance relationship, happy ending)

Follow My Lead ˚ (fluff, surprise birthday party, happy ending)

[metallicaislife]

metallicaislife masterlist

I mainly write for Metallica, but there will be dustings of Guns 'N Roses(mainly Slash and Duff as that is who I know best in the band) scenarios too.

✨ = fluff

🌹= smut

😿 = sad/angst

METALLICA

Christmas Decorating - Metallica ✨

Cliff Burton

Thin Lizzy and Mary Jane ✨

First Time 🌹

Afternoon Delight 🌹

My Girl ✨

Save a Horse, Ride a Bassist 🌹

Early Morning Surprise 🌹

Tag Team 🌹

Day Trip ✨

Tight Fit 🌹

Birthday Boy ✨🌹

What Flusters Cliff ✨

Making You Feel Good 🌹

What's Your Fantasy? 🌹

Dreams 🌹

Childhood Friends ✨

Cliff Burton Headcanons ✨

Talk is Just Talk, Right? 🌹

James Hetfield

Daydream 😿🌹

Daydream Pt 2 😿✨

Daydream Pt 3 ✨

Been Hiding in Plain Sight ✨

Impatient 🌹

Let Me Take Care of You 🌹✨

What's Your Fantasy? 🌹

Brothers Best Friend ✨

Brothers Best Friend pt 2 ✨

My Nemesis, James Hetfield ✨

My Nemesis, James Hetfield pt 2 ✨

My Nemesis, James Hetfield pt 2 Bloopers ✨

Hey Jealousy 😿✨

Kirk Hammett

The Exorcist ✨

Long Day ✨

Phone Call Confession ✨

Tag Team 🌹

A Steamy Halloween 🌹

Bad Mood 😿✨

Pushed to Confess 🌹

After the Show 🌹

The Photographer and the Guitarist ✨🌹

The Photographer and the Guitarist pt 2 ✨🌹

Introverted 😿✨

Slow Mornings ✨

The Interview 🌹

Arguments 🌹

Birthday Wishes ✨🌹

I Want to Learn 🌹

I Want to Learn pt 2 🌹

Overworked 😿✨

Meet and Greet 🌹

Kirk w/ a Clingy gf Headcanon ✨

Embarrassment Leads to… 🌹

Kirk Hammett Headcanons ✨

Lars Ulrich

The Spank Bank Incident ✨

Being Lars Girl Best Friend Headcanon ✨

Dating Lars Headcanons ✨

Jason Newsted

nothing yet

Rob Trujillo

Dating Current!Rob Trujillo Headcanons ✨

News ✨

Lazy Day In ✨

New Sensations 🌹

Dave Mustaine

Talk is Just Talk, Right? 🌹

GUNS 'N ROSES

Christmas Decorating - Guns N Roses ✨

Duff McKagan

Coconut Tequila ✨

Award Show ✨

Slash

The Unintentional Heartbreaker ✨(mentions spicy but not explicit)

Unwell ✨

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 8 - Band Politics

Summary: Eddie is down in the dumps...and the guys know the best way to cheer him up.

Word Count: 991

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Swearing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Eddie's an asshole but hurt people hurt people so...

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

Let the record show that Eddie Munson wasn't an angry man.

Or a violent one.

And he didn't yell very often.

Ok maybe that one was a lie.

Regardless...his bandmates were really testing his fucking patience over the past week, so whatever fate befell them? They fucking deserved it.

It'd been a normal week in the normal month of May where normal things happened.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

And if there was? Well, it wasn't anyone's business but Eddie's.

So it was a good thing nothing happened.

And yeah, because it was such a normal, boring week...he might have been feeling a little bit down.

Leave it to his friends to disturb the peace.

"I think I should have a solo," Dave was the first one to start shit during practice.

"Oh you do, do you?" Eddie questioned the abrupt declaration.

"Gareth and I were talking--"

"Oh you were?"

"--and we think if we added songs that featured bass and drum solos would really make our sound stand out. It can't always be guitar."

He knew Dave had a point; shit, he wanted the band to really showcase all of their abilities but it was the way Dave had done it. Stopping in the middle of a song, while Eddie was working on a solo of his own, to announce his dissatisfaction.

It really made him grind his teeth.

"Alright, take the stage then Cliff Burton," he snapped and whipped his guitar off so he could watch the genius idea unfold. "Put your money where your mouth is."

The next was Jeff.

Jeff of all people; the one person Eddie thought had his back.

"We voted to change the logo for Corroded Coffin," he announced before Eddie even had a chance to sit down at lunch. He passed a stack of notebook paper with different variations scribbled all over them and pointed to a few favorites. "I like this one, but Gareth likes this one. Dave doesn't like any of them. We figured you should get a say."

"Oh," Eddie pressed a hand to his chest. "How considerate of you. I'm only one of the founding members of the band."

"Yeah, you get it," Jeff smiled cheerfully, either missing the sarcasm or ignoring it altogether. "Which one do you like."

"I like the logo we have," Eddie scoffed. "I'm the one that drew it!"

"Yeah well," Jeff shrugged. "There's always room for improvement. You've told us that a million times."

Eddie felt a sting in his chest and at the corners of his eyes. Then he looked down at the stack of paper, at all of the scribbles, and felt the need to tear them all apart.

"Fine! Whatever!" He shouted and pointed vaguely to one of the pages. "Pick whatever you want. That one. Gareth's." He said it, mainly out of spite for Jeff.

And then Gareth went and stabbed him in the fuckin' back too.

Little shit.

Eddie had been juggling his binders on the way to Hellfire, late thanks to some extended double detention that Coach had given him, as if his week hadn't been shit normal as it was. And when he got to the drama classroom? Gareth was talking way too loudly about dumping Eddie and forming a new band with their own sound.

It was a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings as Eddie processed what he overheard. Feelings of inadequacy and failure, feelings of overwhelming disappointment.

How much had he tried to pull it together and succeed again only to face another barrage of defeat?

Enough was enough.

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie snapped as he shoved the door open and found his friends sitting around the table looking cool and casual. "A fucking mutiny?! Is that what's been happening?"

Dave looked like he was about to shit himself at Eddie's appearance but Gareth and Jeff definitely looked a little too sure of themselves.

Well that ended right here right now.

"If you guys want out of the band, then you're out." He dropped his things on the table and then held the door of the classroom wider, bowing and gesturing for them to go. "All week, all week I've had to deal with all of these bullshit, revolutionary ideas of yours and if it wasn't a bad enough week as it was finding out I'm not graduating again.

"I'm. Fucking. Over it!"

He stood there--shoulders heaving, teeth gnashing, fists balled--as he watched his friends stare blankly back at him.

And then the tears finally came. One by one, dripping down his cheeks silently as the disappointment and rage just became too much to handle.

"Oh shit," Jeff muttered, quick to his feet to cross the distance and pull Eddie into a hug. He held him tightly, even as Eddie tried to push him away. "Hey man, it's ok. Let it out."

There were a few beats of silence as Eddie regained control of his emotions before Jeff took the chance to speak again.

"We knew something was bothering you," he said softly. "But we couldn't figure out what."

"So we figured we'd just be annoying little shits until you blew up," Gareth added.

"Like you usually do," came Dave's hesitant addition.

"We didn't know that..."

"That I failed senior year technically again because of fucking gym?" Eddie let out a watery laugh, earning cries of indignation from the boys. "Yeah I know, it's so stupid."

The following few minutes were filled with more of his enraged shouts and flailing hand gestures and the breaking of several foam props from the drama department before he looked at his friends again.

"So...you guys don't want to quit the band?" he asked softly, looking at each of his friends, and he was met with their resounding support, and promises about how they would see Corroded Coffin through to the end.

Or die trying.

Of course Dave had to add, "I'd still like a bass solo though."

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫: 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 01 of 06 | masterpost

word count: 5,1k | ao3 link | fic's playlist

✦ on this chapter: NSFW!!!, james hetfield x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, grief, mxf sex, unprotected sex

✦ a/n: The epilogue's finally here! As I said before, I had to split it into a few parts because it turned out really long and I wanted to tie all loose ends lol I haven't finished writing it yet, but I'll try to keep posting twice a week. Many things will have changed in this, since it's set mostly in 1992. We will have some flashbacks, but I dated all the parts so it wouldn't get confusing. Hope you enjoy the read, feedback is welcome! ❤

December 31, 1991

San Francisco in December hit me with that familiar chill as soon as I stepped off the plane; I quickly slipped on my gloves and shrugged into my coat, letting out a sigh as the cold nipped at my nose and fogged up my breath. It felt weird being back after so long, back to the city where I'd lived, loved, and grown up all those years ago.

I’d bid farewell to San Francisco two years back when my art career started picking up steam, making the move to LA seem like the logical next step. Coming back to the city stirred up a pain that ran deep in my bones — a constant reminder of the happiness I once knew but could never quite recapture, a bittersweet flashback to all I'd experienced — and all that had slipped away.

Lars had invited friends and family for a massive bash at his vacation home, ringing in the end of the year and welcoming 1992 with a bang. I had a hunch the extravagant party had something to do with his recent divorce, after a rushed marriage which had barely lasted two years. He'd even sent his driver, Simon, to scoop me up from the airport.

It was a relief not to have to wrangle a taxi amidst the chaos of folks flying in for the last flights before New Year's Eve. Slipping into the Jaguar, I peeled off my sunglasses with a sigh; those shades had become my shield against being recognized in the last few months. Ever since I'd started doing TV gigs, getting spotted by strangers and paparazzi was becoming a regular thing. It came with the territory, sure, but sometimes, a girl just wanted a little peace and quiet.

"Good afternoon, Miss Burton," Simon greeted me with a smile as I hopped into the car, and I shot one right back at him. "Mr. Ulrich was really looking forward to your arrival."

"Thanks, Simon. Are the others already there?" I inquired, my gaze drifting out the window as we cruised away from the airport.

"Yes, Mr. Hammett and Mr. Newsted are. Mr. Hetfield will show up later; I'll swing back to get him after dropping you off. And Miss Summers won't be joining us."

I let out a sigh. Ever since Cliff had passed, Leanne had drifted away from the group, moving to another city and cutting most ties. She said it hurt too much to stick around — too many reminders of him . I got where she was coming from and harbored no hard feelings, but her absence had definitely put some distance between us over the years.

"Well, I'll have to shoot her a call later and wish her a Happy New Year," I mused absentmindedly. "Do you know if my aunt and uncle are gonna make it?"

"Yes, I'll pick them up later," Simon replied, earning a small smile from me. Despite Cliff's passing hitting us all hard, Aunt Jan and Uncle Ray had been a steady presence for me and the guys. They'd practically become like second parents to all of us over the years, always there in the Metallica routine, whether it was on the professional front or at family and friends' get-togethers.

It took us a bit to roll up to Lars' vacation home, a big old mansion tucked away in one of San Francisco’s most expensive neighborhoods, a far cry from the tiny house we used to live in back in the day. Simon pulled up at the main entrance; the door was wide open, and I caught a glimpse of the staff buzzing around, putting the final touches on the shindig. Judging by the crates of booze being unloaded, this was gonna be more than just a cozy New Year's bash with a few friends.

"Thanks for the ride, Simon," I said, grabbing my bag and popping open the car door. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Miss."

It didn't take me long to spot Lars; the moment I stepped into the foyer, there he was, barking orders to his assistant at lightning speed, champagne glass already in hand. I couldn't help but grin; classic Lars, hitting the booze before anyone else. He turned my way at the sound of my footsteps echoing on the polished floor, breaking into a smile as he strode over.

"Nore!" he exclaimed, pulling me into a bear hug. "I'm so stoked you made it."

"Hey, Lars," I grinned, returning the hug. It had been a hot minute since I'd seen him or any of the guys; 1991 had been a whirlwind for all of us, and work had pretty much consumed our lives at warp speed.

"How was the trip? Did Simon take good care of you?"

"Yeah, it was smooth sailing. Simon's a pro, always has been. But seriously, Lars, you shouldn't have him grinding away on the last day of the year."

"Oh, he's getting compensated handsomely for it, don't you worry. Hey, you remember your way around the house, right? Kirk and Jason are probably chilling in the sauna. Oh, Allie!" Lars called out to his assistant, a dark-haired girl who looked eager to please. "Got the guest list handy? Can you show our girl here where she'll be crashing tonight?" Allie nodded briskly, and Lars flashed me a smile, turning back to me. "Party kicks off at 9 PM, so I'm just tying up loose ends. Make yourself comfy, grab some grub if you're hungry, alright? Consider the place your own."

I trailed after Allie to my room, a fancy suite with a king-size bed that looked like it had never been slept in. Lars always had a flair for the extravagant, but Metallica's success in recent years seemed to have kicked that into overdrive; his new vacation house was straight-up lavish, with more rooms than I could count, a massive pool, a sauna, and even a private movie theater.

I decided to chill in my room until the party kicked off; as much as I was itching to catch up with everyone, I was straight-up wiped out. Lately, I'd been craving more time alone, away from the chaos of the ragers my friends used to live for. But hey, I knew we'd all cross paths eventually, and sure enough, when I finally made my grand entrance, one of the first faces I spotted was Kirk's, rolling in with James, who apparently had arrived while I was hiding out.

"Nore!" Kirk grinned, pulling me into a hug. I chuckled, hugging him back. "Damn, you're looking good!"

"Thanks, Kirk. It's all Lars' doing; he picked out the dress," I replied, nodding at the long red number I was sporting. I’d found it laid out on the bed in my room with a note telling me to rock it for the night. I eyed Kirk's suit, a slick navy number with gold accents. "You're looking sharp yourself."

"Yeah, that's all Lars' handiwork too. Dude's on a mission to throw the ultimate party. But hey, who am I to complain? There's champagne!" Kirk chuckled, clinking his glass against mine.

"Hey, Nore." I glanced up at the sound of his voice, meeting James' intense blue gaze. A faint smile tugged at my lips; being around him always stirred up a whirlwind of emotions that were hard to untangle. Love, sure, but also heartache. It stung, yet it felt oddly comforting. Like coming home.

"Hi, James," I greeted him softly. Kirk shot us a quick look.

“Well, I'm gonna go track down our host. Catch you guys later!" He excused himself. I watched Kirk saunter off, a slight jolt running through me as James' hand landed on the small of my back.

"Have you grabbed a bite to eat yet? Lars said you got here before me," he murmured, his voice low. I looked up at him, seeing his eyes scanning the crowd of guests, a champagne flute in his other hand.

"Not yet."

"Want me to snag something for you? Lars went all out with the spread this time."

"I'm good, James." 

"Didn't drag your boyfriend along to the party?" he quipped, and I couldn't help but snort.

"What boyfriend?"

"That... Brian guy? I dunno, it's hard to keep up with all the dudes you've cycled through since we split," he remarked, a hint of irony dancing in his eyes. I furrowed my brow; was he joking or dead serious? It was getting tougher to read James these days.

"If you wanna know if I'm seeing someone, just ask," I shot back sharply. He let out a sardonic laugh and rolled his eyes. I held his gaze. "And what about your 'Nothing Else Matters' chick? She bailed on the party?"

"I ended things with her," he replied, a hint of annoyance creeping into his tone. "And I've told you that song wasn't about her."

"Then who was it about?"

"Do I really need to spell it out?" he growled, stepping closer. I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze head-on. James and I had been locked in this dance for a while now, his anger clashing with my pain like sparks flying. It didn't shock me that Kirk wanted no part of our little reunion.

"I'm gonna go track down Lars," I tossed back dryly before strutting off. I could practically feel James rolling his eyes as he polished off the rest of his champagne in one gulp.

I didn't cross paths with James again until much later, well after midnight had come and gone. We’d all gathered on the balcony to catch the fireworks, dishing out Happy New Year wishes and hugs left and right. When the crowd filtered back inside, I lingered behind, a cigarette dangling between my fingers as I stared up at the star-studded sky, grappling with the bitter irony that another year had kicked off without Cliff here to see it.

"I did wanna know, actually," a voice cut through the silence, jolting me. I turned to find James leaning against one of the pillars, his gaze fixed on me with a serious edge.

"What?" I murmured, my heart picking up its pace as he closed the gap between us.

"You said if I wanted to know if you were seeing someone, I just had to ask. And I did wanna know," he replied, so close now I could smell the booze on his breath.

"I'm not," I answered, and he grunted, satisfied, before pulling me into his arms, his lips finding mine.

He tasted like beer and tobacco, his lips moving against mine in a familiar dance, the echoes of an old tune. No matter how much time passed or how much it hurt, James and I always found our way back to each other.

"You know that song was about you," he murmured, his kisses trailing down my neck, his grip tightening on my hips as he pulled me closer, our bodies pressed together. "Do you really have to mess with me like this?"

I didn't answer; instead, I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him back to me, his arms holding me tight as he kissed me with urgency, nipping at my lower lip. He wasn't holding back as he pushed me against the balcony railing, his hands hiking up the skirt of my dress, his touch igniting a fire in my belly.

"My room or yours?" I gasped against his lips.

"Does yours come with a bathroom?" he quipped, and I chuckled softly, nodding. "Figures. Lars always hooks you up with the best ones."

"Mine, then," I murmured, a faint smile playing on my lips.

We made our way up to my room, James guiding me through the labyrinth of hallways and rooms in the house with his hand in mine. The moment the door clicked shut behind us, his hands were back on me, pulling me close as his lips trailed hungrily along my neck, tugging at the straps of my dress.

"James, you're gonna wreck the dress..." I protested weakly, my fingers tangled in his hair. He grunted, yanking it down, and I heard a rip that probably meant the garment was already ruined anyway.

"I'll get you another one," he grumbled. "As many as you want."

With urgency matching his, I stripped off his shirt, a few buttons popping off and bouncing across the bedroom floor. Before I could even blink, he lifted me, depositing me on the bed and positioning himself over me. I kicked off my heels, sending them flying into some forgotten corner, releasing a low moan as he pressed against me, his arousal evident through the fabric of his pants. There was no time for calm contemplation, no room for hesitation or second-guessing if this was the right move; our desire for each other was insatiable, ravenous and desperate, and I felt it would consume me completely if we didn't satisfy it right then and there.

I sighed as his lips reclaimed mine, his hand tangled in my hair, gripping it firmly as I worked on unbuttoning his pants, easing them down. He pulled back for a moment, shedding the rest of his clothes before sliding off my panties, emitting a low groan as he entered me. I shut my eyes, clutching onto his arms tightly, my nails digging into his skin. He wasn't holding back; and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Look at me," he growled, his hand guiding my chin as he thrust into me, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body. I obeyed, meeting his gaze as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, my mouth slightly agape as I let out small, sharp moans. He shifted his hand to my neck, pressing his forehead against mine.

"James..." I moaned, my grip on his arms tightening as he picked up the pace, sending shivers down my spine. "James..."

"I wanna ruin you. You get that?" he growled, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body at his words. Of course, I got it. What were we if not each other's downfall? What more could I want than for him to consume me entirely, even if just for a moment? For all the pain and heartache to vanish, if only while he was inside me. "I want you to be mine, all mine, all mine... Fuck..." he buried his face in my neck as my climax washed over me, my body clenching around him, my legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him deeper. "Nore..." he groaned, his own release crashing over him, filling me completely as he continued to move until the intensity of his peak forced him to collapse onto me.

He rolled away, settling beside me, leaving a pulsating void inside me where pain and pleasure danced together in my womb and heart. I shut my eyes, focusing on steadying my breath, and let out a soft chuckle when I felt his lips on my neck, his arms pulling me close in a fleeting but genuine comfort.

"My girl..." he murmured against my ear, sending a delicious shiver down my spine. I'd lost track of how many times he'd called me that, but it never failed to stir something in me. "Why do you keep running from me? Don't you know I love you so?"

I opened my eyes, locking onto his gaze, a blend of longing and yearning reflected back at me. Nestling into his embrace, I placed a soft kiss on his lips, feeling his gaze soften into a tender warmth that sent tingles down my spine.

"I'm here now," I murmured, tracing my fingers gently over his face. He sighed, closing his eyes, intertwining our hands and pressing kisses to my palm, one, two, three times before pulling me close in a tight hug.

Peace hadn't been a frequent visitor in my life for a while, but in that moment, I found it. I'd always find my way back to James, and he'd always find his way back to me. That certainty coursed through my veins, leaving me feeling whole in a way I hadn't in ages.

The next day, we'd be back in the spotlight, the distance between us creeping back in like a toxic fog. But for now, on that night, I was content. I was at peace.

I was home.

September 28, 1986

The shrill ring of the phone pierced through the silence of the empty house, yanking me out of a deep slumber with a groan. I blinked, the heavy rain drumming against the bedroom windows registering in my foggy mind. Stretching out across the bed, I groped for James, only to remember he wasn't there; my boyfriend was off on tour with my cousin and my friends. That left just Leanne and me holding down the fort.

Dragging myself out of bed, my eyes still weighed down by sleep, I shrugged into my robe and slipped on my slippers before trudging out of the room, descending the stairs at a snail's pace. Flicking on the lights in the living room, I scowled at the clock — it wasn't even seven in the morning. This better be an important call, I grumbled inwardly. I was itching to crawl back under the covers.

"Hey," I mumbled, stifling a yawn and rubbing my eyes in an attempt to shake off the sleepiness.

"Hey, Nore," James' voice crackled through the receiver, but in my grogginess, I barely registered the tense undertone, so unlike his usual laid-back demeanor.

"Babe..." I murmured, another yawn threatening to escape. "I know you're in a different time zone, but it's way early here. I was out cold..."

"I'm sorry. I had to call," he replied, and this time, the strain in his voice didn't go unnoticed. I furrowed my brow, sinking down onto the couch beside the phone, suddenly wide awake.

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, something happened. Is Leanne there with you?"

"I think she's asleep. Why?"

"We had a crash," he said, and my heart clenched, a surge of unease and dread knotting my stomach. "We were on the road... Late at night. The driver lost control..."

My breath hitched, and in that instant, a sense of foreboding washed over me. Something felt off, deeply unsettling. It just didn't add up. I knew I should be getting this call from someone else. I knew my cousin; I knew Cliff would want to speak to me and Leanne directly, to break the news himself.

Like when he shared he was leaving Long Beach for San Francisco. Like when he announced he was joining Metallica. Like when he called to tell me Dave got booted from the band, or when he rang to say Metallica was wrapping up tour and he wanted me there for their first hometown gig after dropping the first album.

Something wasn't right.

"James," I whispered, my voice trembling, tears pricking at my eyes as if I already knew what he was going to say. "What happened to Cliff?"

January 1st, 1992

I jolted awake, my cheeks damp with tears that refused to cease flowing. I sighed heavily, my breath shaky, the early morning sunlight just beginning to seep through the curtains. James' arms were wrapped snugly around me, his breath warm against my shoulder as he softly snored.

That dream, again.

It always seemed to resurface whenever I was near James. Maybe my subconscious still linked him to that chilly morning, to that phone call that’d shattered any hope of happiness for the rest of that year and beyond. A call that tore a hole in the fabric of my world, leaving an ache in my heart that felt like it would never mend.

The call that had shattered my heart for good, leaving no chance of putting the pieces back together.

I carefully shifted James' arm away from me, slipping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I took in my tired blue eyes framed by dark circles, my brown hair tumbling in waves over my shoulders, and the red marks on my neck and collarbone left by James the night before. With a sigh, I opened the bathroom cabinet, my hands trembling slightly as I reached for the pills I knew would help ease my anxiety.

I lacked the courage to return to bed, so I nestled into one of the armchairs in the corner of the room, observing James' peaceful slumber as the daylight gradually filled the space. He stirred awake soon after, as if sensing my absence beside him, his eyelids fluttering before he groggily opened his eyes. With a puzzled frown, he reached out for the bed, only to find it empty, prompting him to scan the room. A sigh escaped him when he spotted me, a sense of relief washing over his features that tugged at my heartstrings.

"Bad dream?" he inquired, and I simply nodded in response. "You wanna hop back into bed?"

"I'd rather not risk slipping into another nightmare," I admitted, and he sighed, sitting upright.

"Well, I know a surefire way to keep you awake, if you're interested," he quipped, and I managed a shaky laugh. I much preferred this relaxed and caring version of James to the sarcastic and irritable one from the night before. "So, spill. What was haunting you this time?"

"The usual. That day," I murmured. It wasn't anything new; I'd replayed that nightmare countless times, and James was well aware. My demons weren't a mystery to us, but that didn't make them any less terrifying.

With a sigh, he got up and strolled over to me, scooping me up effortlessly, which elicited a surprised gasp from me. He carried me back to bed, settling me down beside him, his hand securing my waist while the other supported the underside of my thighs, lifting one leg and tucking it around his waist. I hugged him tightly, nuzzling into his chest. It was a brief moment of warmth and solace, a fleeting calmness that I knew would vanish as soon as the day kicked into gear and he walked out that door.

"Are you taking off today?" I whispered softly. I understood that once James and I dove back into our regular routines — fame, commitments, the whole mess — things would get complicated again. I'd lose him once more; I'd been through that too many times in the last few years to entertain any other outcome. But as long as we were together, there, shielded from everything else, he was mine. And I craved his presence. I craved his warmth.

"Do you want me to jet today?" he countered, and I shook my head no. He grumbled under his breath, the rumble vibrating against my cheek as I snuggled closer. "Then I'll hang tight. I suppose we can annoy Lars a bit longer."

"I'm too scared to doze off," I admitted weakly, grappling with the heaviness of my eyelids, which threatened to seal shut from exhaustion. James planted a kiss on the top of my head, gently stroking my hair.

"I ain't budging. If you slip into that nightmare again, I'll be right here when you wake up. Deal?" he whispered, and I nodded.

I knew that as soon as I drifted off, that same haunting dream would likely rear its ugly head. It was just one more cruel reminder of the growing chasm between James and me. It felt like we were broken, perpetually out of sync, and his nearness both healed and wounded me in equal measure. But in that moment, I was willing to bear the pain if it meant he'd stick by my side.

"I love you, Jamie," I murmured, and he sighed, pulling me close as my body surrendered to sleep.

"I love you too, Nore," his voice was the last thing I heard before drifting off.

February 18, 1992

The bouquet of red roses James had given me was beginning to droop, the once vibrant petals shriveling and browning with each passing day. Yet, the fragrance lingering in the air remained sweet and evocative, as if the flowers were still in full bloom.

I sighed as I ran a brush through my hair, eyeing the dress laid out on the bed for the evening bash. It was the launch party for the new TV network schedule I'd been hired for, and showing up was not just a courtesy but a must.

I hadn't crossed paths with James much since our time at Lars' getaway spot. His absence had become a familiar ache over the last few years, a kind of shield we'd unintentionally built between us over time. Yet, there was always that tiny flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd call out of the blue and bring back that sense of ease with his voice.

To my surprise, the phone did ring that day. I set the brush down on the vanity, hurriedly making my way to the bedside table to answer it, a rush of excitement coursing through me.

“Nore?” the voice on the other end wasn't James', but it still warmed my heart, prompting a smile to spread across my face as I sank back onto the bed, cradling the phone to my ear.

“Lea!” I exclaimed, feeling a surge of joy. “It's been too long! How've you been?”

“I'm great! And you?”

“Oh, you know. Just hanging in there. How's Joe?” I swiftly changed the subject. As much as I adored Leanne, I wasn't ready to spill my guts about how I was really feeling.

“Oh, he's doing fantastic. Actually, that's why I rang you up. We're getting married!” she announced, her excitement palpable, and I couldn't help but smile.

“Lea, that's incredible! When's the big day?”

“It's in August. We figured summer would be perfect. I'm calling to extend the invite; would you do me the honor of being one of my bridesmaids?”

I leaped up, my grin stretching wider across my face. Leanne and I had been thick as thieves since day one; seeing her so thrilled about tying the knot, and knowing she wanted me to be part of her big day, warmed my heart.

“Oh, absolutely!” I exclaimed, a bubbling laugh of joy and surprise escaping my lips. Lea chuckled in response, matching my excitement. “Thank you! I know it's going to be beautiful. Can you fill me in on all the details later?”

The rest of my day sparkled with newfound energy after the news; I even caught myself humming an old song as I finished getting dolled up for the evening bash, weaving my hair into an intricate hairdo my mom had insisted on teaching me.

When I finished getting ready, I checked myself out in the mirror, pretty pleased with the result; the dark blue spaghetti-strap dress hugged my curves just right, with the skirt flaring out at the waist and skimming down to my ankles. A dainty golden choker with crystals adorned my neck, and my long brown locks were styled to perfection, framing my face in all the right places, with my eyes sparkling, cheeks a touch flushed, and lips painted red.

But, of course, I couldn't roll up to an event like that on my own; right on the dot at 7 p.m., I heard the honk signaling my ride had arrived. I sauntered down the stairs, arching an eyebrow in surprise as I stepped outside and spotted the limo parked up front. My old friend Charlotte rolled down the window from the backseat, flashing me a big grin.

“Hey, Nore!” she chirped as I slid into the car, handing over a glass of champagne, which earned a soft chuckle from me. “Ready to rock?”

“I guess I’m a bit jittery. First time going to a party like this one,” I admitted. Now that I was on my way, the thought of facing a swarm of photographers and journalists at the event’s entrance was making me more nervous than I cared to admit, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it.

“Well, it's gonna be a blast, trust me! Everyone who's anyone will be there. I'll be your wingwoman, so don't worry about a thing. I'll make sure you rub elbows with all the big shots you haven't bumped into yet during the shoots.”

I nodded, taking a bit of champagne to settle my nerves, the bubbles dancing on my tongue and momentarily diverting my attention. If my acting career was taking flight now, it was all thanks to Charlie; she'd been the driving force behind my return to the scene after I’d graduated High School, persuading me to switch gears from the Visual Arts program up in San Francisco to Drama School down in Los Angeles, and had even helped me snag my first TV gig.

I'd recently jumped into acting over at the same TV network where Charlotte had been working as an actress for a while. Even though I hadn't wrapped up recording my first project yet, the buzz around a relatively unknown actress snagging the lead in the latest drama series had caught the media’s attention. In just about a year, my life had changed completely, going from being just another face in the crowd to even having paparazzi tail me. But truth be told, I was still getting the lay of the land at the network. Charlie had hit the nail on the head; this party was prime time to make some connections.

We rolled up to the party spot; I soon realized that navigating through the sea of photographers and reporters on that red carpet was no joke. But once I got past the Q&A, which mostly revolved around my work and career, it was time to get down to business. Charlotte ushered me into conversations with all sorts of folks: actors, musicians, executives, and even some of the network's shareholders. It hit me quick that networking at these parties was just as much a part of the job in the entertainment industry as being good at your craft.

The hours zoomed by amid chats, laughter, drinks, and nibbles. Soon, I was feeling drained and decided to grab a bite from the buffet before taking a breather. As I was fixing my plate, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting it to be Charlie, ready to introduce me to someone new.

Never in a million years could I have guessed what awaited me in the next few seconds.

"Nore... Is that really you?" the man exclaimed, looking utterly astonished, and suddenly I was eighteen again, my heart racing in completely uncontrollable pirouettes as my breath hitched, my surprised gaze meeting his, the world filling with color and song as I stared into the eyes of Dave Mustaine.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9 @twice360noscope

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

He’s Still Playing

A/n: I thought of this and now you have to cry too

Warnings: Cliffs death, angst, fluff, reader is James’ sibling

You got yourself set up on the couch, all of Cliffs favourite snacks, his favourite movies. It was all just perfect.

Cliff came back from tour a few weeks ago but he’d just seemed off and you wanted to cheer him up in any way you could, what better way than movie marathon?

You waited and waited, making sure to keep everything perfect and finally the door opened and in came Cliff.

You smiled wifey at him, patting the spot next to you on the couch. Cliff smiled, though it was tired and not all there. He came and sat beside you, pulling you into him and kissing your forehead.

“Hi, love, how are you?” He asked. Always putting you first.

You nuzzled into him. “I’m happy now that you’re here.” He didn’t say anything and just held you close.

You started the first movie and got to eating, though you couldn’t help but tell him all about your day all while he listened, smiling down at you and occasionally kissing you, your forehead, cheeks, top of your head. His arm stayed around you, keeping you close to him.

Thunder struck and you looked out the window to see it was pouring, you wondered how you hadn’t noticed it before.

“Y/n?” A familiar voice called. Your brother, James, had come downstairs and was now standing just inside the living room. “You’re doing it again.”

Your brows furrowed. “Doing what?”

“Y/n, he’s gone.” He said.

You shook your head, tears already forming in your eyes. “No, no it’s not, he’s here, he’s right-“ You glanced to your side and Cliff was gone. He was gone.

James sat beside you, right where Cliff had been, and pulled you close to his side. “This happens every time it rains.” He mumbled, rubbing your arm.

“But…” You started but trailed off.

Cliff died. He was crushed under a bus. He was gone.

Thunder struck again, both you and James looked outside. “He’s still playing.” James said with a sad smile.

[r0syr3a]

Letters to lovers

Cliff Burton x Reader

Words: 565

Genre: Fluff and angst

Warnings: Discussion of Cliff's passing and swearing

Author note: omg I can't believe I finally got the balls to start posting my writing RAAAHHH! This is for Isa, aka @metallicaislife, one of my favorite blogs! Jewel anon is finally revealed lol. I did use the wiki page on the tour for the order of where they played so it makes a bit of sense. Now, on with the story~

Dear, Y/N

I knew you'd end up looking into my shirt drawer once I left for tour, so I figured I would leave you a little surprise. I knew you'd miss me too much that you would just HAVE to wear one of my shirts to bed ;)

Alright, I'll stop being a jackass now. You told me how much you love letters so I figured I'd write some for you while I'm on the road. As I'm writing this, I haven't even left yet and I already miss you so much. This is gonna suck mega balls, I know it.

Try and get some sleep and take care of yourself while I'm gone, My Star. I'll try and see you whenever I can and I'll call as often as possible.

Love always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

I hope you enjoyed my first letter, we just made it to St. Louis. I don't know how many of these I'll be able to write and receive just because we'll be moving so fast, but I'll write as many as I can, I pinky promise. (See? I do remember things)

Every show so far has been FUCKING WILD! God, I wish you could be here to see it all, I think you'd love it.

I miss you, Y/N. I don't wanna be sad and sappy but it's true. You're My Star, how am I supposed to be a rockstar without My Star? Right now, I'm just a rock and that's not nearly as cool. I'm gonna stop writing this so I can call you.

I love you always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

Fuck, I'm so sorry. I haven't written in forever. I'll try and do better after these next California shows. At least we'll get to see each other for those, right? It's gonna feel amazing to hug you and finally have you in my arms again. The guys miss you too. Kirk says he needs you to paint his nails again before we leave again like it won't be gone in like three days.

I hope you're taking good care of yourself and I'll see you soon.

Love always, your rock, Cliff

Dear, Y/N

WE'RE IN EUROPE BABE!!!!!

It's honestly so cool, we explored some old castles and shit yesterday. The time zones keep waking me out so I don't know when to try and call you, I'm sorry I haven't.

I have been taking pictures for you though. We could make a little scrapbook with them when I get home! We are currently in Ireland so you best believe we are drinking THE BEST beer ever.

I honestly don't know what to write about. All I know is that I love you and I miss you and I can't wait to come home or at least fly you out for a show in some random country.

Soon, My Star,

I love you always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

Hey, it's Lars. I know you already got the news by the time it gets to you, but I know he'd want me to send it anyway, even if it isn't finished. We'll be there soon. Hang tight, please. We love you.

Dear, Y/N

Europe is officially my favorite. The best breakfasts and the best beers? What more could I need other than you here? I am definitely bringing you here one day. I promise.

[lvst4lifee]

MY MASTER LIST

COLOUR CODE:

smut

fluff

angst

random facts etc

------------------------------------------------------------

things abt me/navigations

Introduction/rules

RORY CULKIN(characters)

★ more in the future.....(please request)

KIRK HAMMETT

★ #1

★ #2

more in the future...

SAMI YAFA

more in the future...

IZZY STRADLIN

★ #1

DUFF MCKAGAN

more in the future...

CLIFF BURTON

more in the future...

AXL ROSE

more in the future...

DAVE GROHL

more in the future...

KURT COBAIN

more in the future...

[ilovepapahet]

Sweetheart

Chapter Two

Life it seems to fade away, drifting further every day

Warnings: Angst, Break Up, Alcohol, mentions of trauma, mentions of drugs

let me know if I missed anything

————————————————————————

As you walk through the door you see Lars’s dad sitting in the living room of the house. He greats you as you walk in heading to your room, on your way to your room you feel very overwhelmed with emotions. Why was James being such a dick?

Why did he act like he didn’t love you anymore? As soon as you closed your door to your bed room, you broke down. Sobbing as your back slid against the door. This isn’t fair to you. At all. Why is it that now all of a sudden as soon as he’s in a band. He acts like he’s everything.

A soft knock on your door pulls you out of your sobbing state. Opening the door you find Lars. “Hay-“ he says gently “-you alright. I heard everything” Lars pushes his way in. You look at Lars and hug him, sobbing in his arms.

“Why is he acting like this? Why did I do? Is he getting tired of me?” You sob.

“I don’t know…. I’m.. I’m sorry”

Lars takes you to your bed as lays you down. “I’ll talk to him. He’s my best friend”. You look up at Lars, “But what if he doesn’t listen. I don’t think it’s a good idea Lars…. I appreciate it though”. You knew it would end up in an argument.

Lars soothes you as you cry slowly calming down. “Thank you Lars… you’re the best” “Of course… you’re like a sister to me”. Lars gets up to leave, “Call me if you need anything… alright” you nod and pull the covers over you. Your deep in thought. You knew you had to talk to James. Find out what was going on you loved him too much to leave him and you couldn’t. No, you wouldn’t let this continue.

————————————————————————

The next day was a Saturday. Lucky for you. You woke up to smell something downstairs as you get up and head downstairs. You find Lars trying to make breakfast for you and him, “Morning. Sorry I’m trying my best to uh… make breakfast”. You giggle “Thank you Lars. Your the best”.

“Cliff is better at this stuff” he joked.

“No lars it’s alright. I appreciate it.. deeply”

Lars sets you a plate as you start to eat. “Want anything to drink.. water? juice?” “Waters fine”. Lars gets you a glass and gives it to you.

“I’m going to try and talk to James… I think it would be better than arguing with him”

“I think so too.. you’ll figure it out. I promise.”

————————————————————————

After breakfast you get ready for work. You worked at a record store not too far from where you lived, you usually opened and the pay wasn’t too bad.

Unlocking the front door and turning on the lights you started to set up everything. Setting up the cash register bring some of the extra vinyl carts out side and setting up the window display and turning on the Open sign. You liked the job it was kinda fun.

“Hay girl” you look over and see you girl best friend and coworker Dawn. Dawn was a very happy bubbly girl. She’s dressed like she listened to pop music. Always in pink, but she loved and lived for the hard rock and metal music. She loves Motorhead.

It was her favourite band. “Sooo.. what you’ve been up too” she asked gluing herself your side. “Nothing… just trying to get through the last few weeks of school” you sigh “Yeah I get it”.

“So… How’s you and James?” She asked innocently

You groan in exhaustion.

“That bad?”

“I feel like he doesn’t care anymore. Like I’m ghost to him now” you shake your head. There was a pause between you two

“You ready for grade eleven?” You ask Dawn. “UGHHHH. Please don’t remind me”. Dawn was only a year younger than you. “I’m nervous. Your going to help me get through since your going into grade twelve already” “yeah I know… my last year”.

A guy walks into the store and he looks to be around Dawns age. “He’s cute” you look to Dawn. She eyes him a bit “Kinda…. He’s always coming in here” she tells you “Go talk to him” you joke.

“No!-“ she whispered in a yell “-I mean he is cute, but… no I’m not his type”. You laugh a bit at her.

“Come on. Your always telling me about how you want a boyfriend”

“Yeah I know…. Ok fine. I’ll go talk to him” Dawn sighs walking around the counter.

It was a thing between you two to tease each other she was literally your sole sister like how Lars was your sole brother. You watch as Dawn talks to the regular who came in, he was always looking for something new to listen to, he was nice. You wondered how happy James would be if the bands first album would be on vinyl, how he would come to you first and tell you how cool it looked and how he wants to to be the first to listen to it.

You smiled at the thought as Dawn comes back around with the boy following shortly behind her.

“I got this” she smiled and winked at you.

“You sure that’s it?

“Yeah that’s it. Thank you.” The boy smiled. “Can I get your name?” He asks Dawn

“My names Dawn, yours?”

“Robert”

You watch from a distance at the painful yet cute intersection between them. You watch as Robert leave with a big smile on his face, Dawn turns to you her face flushed. “That was painful to see” you tease her.

“I’m not good at talking to boys, you know that” she wines “Yeah no kidding” you laugh lightly at her.

“So… do you think you’d date him?” You ask her jokingly.

“We just met. I need to get to know him more.”

“I’m joking with you Dawn. I don’t rush things”

For the rest of the day, you sold a couple of vinyls joked with Dawn and got ready to close for the day. “I’ll close up today, you can head home” Dawn tells you. “You think you can do it?” “Yeah I’ve watched you and Daniel do it a few times I’m good” Dawn reassures you.

————————————————————————

Back home you walk in and it’s about seven, no one was home so you had the whole house to yourself. Something that doesn’t happen a lot considering Lars was jobless, but he was probably out with the guys.

You chilled on the couch watching a few horror movies, nothing too scary. You sat there for a few minutes until a knock came at the door. You groaned and got up and open the door. As you open the door you find James, “James? What are you-“ “Can I come in” he cuts you off. Stepping aside to let him in “What are you doing here?” You ask him. “To talk about you”.

“Me?”

“Yes you, why’d you’ve been acting like a brat”

“Excuse me? You’ve been treating me like shit James”

“Why is it always me who’s the bad guy! You’ve been annoying me nonstop” James yelled.

“So why didn’t you tell me? I’ve just been trying to be nice to you. All you care about is your band”

“But you got mad at me for when I called it my band?”

You sigh in frustration “It was just your tone James. And I was overthinking-“

“Overthinking What?!” James yells.

“I’ve been overthinking that you don’t love me anymore and… that.. I’m just in your way. I just panicked and I’ve been bugging you because I don’t want you to leave me.” You start to sob. “James.. I really love you. I love you so much and to many people have left me and treated me like shit… you’ve been so sweet to me and… I’m sorry I was just scared”.

You both looked at each other tears running down your face. James says nothing.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“When was there ever a good time to tell you?!” You yelled “Your so caught up in this band bullshit to even realize how I feel James. I’ve tried so hard… so fucking hard to be a good girlfriend to you, but you don’t care anymore” you cry as you wipe your tears away with the sleeve of James’s hoodie you wore.

“I think we should break up….” James says. You look up at him shocked and horrified.

“You don’t mean that…”

“…. I do”

You fall to the floor in tears at his words. Why did it have to end like this.

James moves closer to you and sits in front of you. He holds you for a little bit and mumbles an apology. A halfhearted apology. “I have more important things in life now” he hold your face in his hands. “Maybe another time” he says as he kisses you one last time. “I want my hoodie back”. You sniffed and took off his hoodie. “Bye”. You hear the front door close, you got up off the floor and head for your room.

In a fit of rage and sadness you start throwing things. How could he? And why like that?

————————————————————————

Later that night Lars came home. He called for you but got no answer, he went up to your room to check you. He looks around at the messy room from the things you threw around. Lars sighs as he sees you sobbing in bed. “… Hay what happened?” He asks as he sees your red puffy eyes.

“He broke up with him” you cry. Lars says nothing. He just lets you cry. “I’m so sorry”. It was kinda hard for Lars to comfort you he’s not used to the break up things, but he tried.

All you could do, was cry.

————————————————————————

That was a six years ago though, things have changed… a lot. You’re now twenty two living in your own bungalow. It was a cute home.

After the break up things got worse. Lars started drinking and doing drugs which affected your relationship. He got mean feeding into his ego. Dave got more rude the more he drank becoming an alcoholic. Cliff was… well he was Cliff. The only thing he really did was smoke weed. As for James…. You didn’t care about him anymore…. He was fuckin dead to you.

You now worked at a guitar centre in San Francisco, it was a nice place. Nice people. Hopefully things can get better. You haven’t heard from anyone at all. You knew Metallica became bigger than where they started, but you didn’t care. Their now just this big stuck up band.

————————————————————————

and that’s chapter two, chapter three coming soon loves

[distorted59]

Masterlist

Enjoy your stay here, babe!

Metallica

oneshots/stories ❂

A Week In San Francisco (part 1 - part2) 80s!James Hetfield x Hammett!Reader - (eventual) smut

Breakfast is Served (request) 97!Jason Newsted x reader - (angst/fluff/slight smut)

Bite me please (request) 93!Kirk Hammet x reader - (smut)

drabbles ✯

aftercare with current!James

modern!90s Jason bf

Jason taking care of you (while on ur period)

headcanons 𓆃

Cliff Burton

Lars Ulrich

James Hetfield

Kirk Hammett

prom with 80s James

working on !

80s!Lars Ulrich x Reader - smut

[cliffburtonscig]

MASTERLIST

SMUT: ⁎ FLUFF: ~ ANGST: ৻

METALLICA

James Hetfield

feel it *

Kirk Hammett

Lars Ulrich

Cliff Burton

Jason Newsted

Robert Trujillo

GNR

Axl Rose

Steven Adler

Saul "Slash" Hudson

Izzy Stradlin

quiet *

Duff McKagan

MOTLEY CRUE

Nikki Sixx

Mick Mars

Tommy Lee

Vince Neil

QUEEN

Freddie Mercury

Roger Taylor

John Deacon

Brian May

NIRVANA

Dave Grohl

Krist Novoselic

CRIMINAL MINDS

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Others

MARVEL

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rodgers

Peter Parker

Tony Stark

Thor Odinson

Wade Wilson

Others

THE WALKING DEAD

Rick Grimes

Daryl Dixson

Carl Grimes

Glenn Rhee

Negan

Others

STRANGER THINGS

Billy Hargrove

001

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Will Byers (aged up)

Dustin Henderson (aged up)

Mike Wheeler (aged up)

Jim Hopper

Jonathan Byers

Lucas Sinclair (aged up)

others

HARRY POTTER

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Tom Riddle

Draco Malfoy

Severus Snape

Ron Weasley

Luna Lovegood

Sirius Black

Cedric Diggory

Neville Longbottom

Remus Lupin

Bellatrix Lestrange

Regulus Black

Lucius Malfoy

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Lorenzo Berkshire

Theodore Nott

Blaise Zambini

Oliver Wood

METAL LORDS

Kevin Schlieb

Hunter Slyvester

OUTERBANKS

Rafe Cameron

JJ Maybank

John Rutledge

Pope Heyward

BTS

Kim Seokjin

Min Yoongi

Jung Hoseok

Kim Namjoon

Park Jimin

Kim Taehyung

Jeon Jungkook