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reasonsmandy · 4 months

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Silver Springs

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by @navia3000 — hi hi hi!!! i’m OBSESSED with your writing and i was wondering if you could write an eddie x reader story for me! i thought of this in the shower, but basically, reader is the bassist of the band and has been in love with eddie for a long time, but eddie is in love with camila. everyone knows she’s madly in love with him, but he doesn’t seem to realize it. after cami and eddie get together that one night at the bar, and then when they’re talking at the party, reader overhears the whole thing and is really upset because camila and her are very close and she knew that reader loved eddie. camila walks back to the party but sees reader standing there and realizes she heard everything. reader gets mad and stops talking to both eddie and cami, just ignoring them every time they’re around. it gets to the point where cami gets fed up and says some mean stuff to reader about eddie not wanting her in front of everyone else. reader packs her stuff and leaves the band without saying anything, basically just pulls a houdini. some time later, the band is at a festival and the band performing before them is the reader’s and she’s the lead singer, and they realize it’s her and are like omg. reader sings her hit song silver springs (og by fleetwood mac but im pretending its reader’s song) and it’s obvi about eddie. she sings it while staring at him just like stevie does lindsey. and you can end it however you want. i know this is really long and im sorry 😭 i just love your writing and wanna see how you do this. thank youuuu :))

✧.* summary — a fic based on Silver Springs by fleetwood mac

✧.* warnings — Camila being a jerk :(((

✧.* word count — 3.2k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — This was soooo fun to write, I'm just obsessed with this song

Love is fucked up, and you were living the worst of it since you fell in love with Eddie Roundtree. Of course, it's not about every type of love, but you knew very well that there is nothing as painful as unreciprocated love. It was like being slowly consumed by a feeling that will always be there, and there's nothing you can do to make it stop.

When you guys decided to move to follow the band's dream, it wasn't an easy decision, you were scared to death that you were making the wrong decision but there was comfort in doing it with those you were close to. Now that you were having the chance to create a new album, you felt like it was time for you to grow up in a big way.

The work had been difficult, you spent a lot of time in the studio recording again and again, and only being done when it was perfect. And despite the regrets, you knew that everything was heading towards what you were going to and were living. There is something that was addictive about work, it made you forget about the disaster surrounding your love life, you felt pathetic for futilely insisting on a feeling that had no direction or departure.

You felt yourself falling in love with Eddie when you guys moved to the new town, despite your time performing gigs and also with other gigs out there, you still spent a lot of time together, something that was enough to make you fall in love with him. He was always very kind and understanding with you, even more so when you missed home a lot, slowly as you became closer to each other you couldn't help your feelings anymore… something you just hated.

Everyone knew that he was deeply in love with Camila, including yourself. You knew that when your heart started beating faster everytime he passed by or talked to you, there were several times you tried to hold every feeling back, knowing that it would only lead to heartbreak.

As everyone knew about Eddie's feelings towards Camila, slowly everyone noticed your feelings towards him. Of course there were jokes and teasing (even more coming from Rojas), but it slowly became an unspoken topic that everyone knew but no one said a thing. And you honestly appreciate it!

You had no idea if Eddie knew about it, and you hoped he never did. Because even if you didn't have any hope, or at least tried not to, you wanted to deprive yourself of the look full of pity coming from someone who doesn't feel the same way. Looking to escape all your thoughts, you spent many more hours than necessary in the studio working late, and today was no different.

“God! You're still here?” Daisy says as she opens the studio door, a cigarette hovering on her lips.

“I have a lot to do.” You say shrugging, while giving her a small smile.

“No she doesn't.” You are startled a little when you hear Karen's voice behind you, turning slightly to see her blonde hair.

“Is this some kind of intervention?” Your laugh came out nervously, they look at each other.

“Well, maybe?” Jones gets closer to you, you can smell the cigarettes on her clothes.

“You're working like a dog, so we thought you could come with us to a party?” Karen suggests, her eyes showing her eager for you to agree.

“I don't know guys…” You scribble some things in your notebook, nothing specific other than lines and circles.

“Come on!” Karen holds one of your hands to help you up. “Just try it, I promise that if you don't like it Daisy will take you home.”

“Oh, I will?” Daisy looks at her, you can't help but laugh when you see Karen giving her a threatening look. “Yeah, of course I will.”

You see no escape, so you soon find yourself among a considerable number of people wearing your favorite dress. Karen had been called by a boy to talk better, you hadn't noticed who it was but you knew where she was in case it took too long and you got worried, Daisy was lying on a sun chair around the pool talking to a group of people you had no idea who they were, and you, as expected, were standing there waiting for something interesting to happen.

With your half-full glass in hand, you approach the chairs looking to sit somewhere, your steps stop when you see a familiar figure you blink a few times to make sure you were right, and after a few blinks you confirm that Eddie was there too. Having been alone for a long time and bearing in mind that you wouldn't have company anytime soon, you decide to go to him.

As you make your way into the crowd you see him getting up, you frown trying to get a look at where the hell he was heading to. After a few attempts, bumping into some people and a couple of "I'm sorry" to those who had been pushed past you, you are amazed at what you find. It was unusual to see Camila leaving the house for a party, especially alone, you were immediately surprised, looking around to see if other band members were around.

Well, it wasn't the worst case scenario! At least now you have more company to spend the night with, you continue but immediately notice a different air between them. Your body weakens and your heart races, he gets closer to her and she doesn't step back, you can't help but wonder what the fuck was going on so you decide to sit near them and try your best to hear them.

“Wow, you chose me over sure thing like that?” You barely hear Camila's voice among the others.

“I'll choose you over everyone.” Your heart hurts on your chest, you felt sad.

The silence between them is all you hear even with the noise around you, you turn to see what was happening and bitterly regret what your eyes found. Camila holds Roundtree's face gently, her shaking hands indicated apparent nervousness and her fingers didn't show firmness, she was kissing him.

You couldn't believe what your eyes were showing you, your friend forever was kissing the man you were in love with. It was more than a pain, it was a deep betrayal. You didn't give a shit about the fact that Billy was also being betrayed, he had already done worse to her, but you... She knew your feelings, nothing could justify what your eyes witnessed.

You quickly grab your bag, not bothering to tell Daisy or Karen that you were leaving, you just wanted to disappear.

Knowing that you would eventually have to see Eddie if you returned home, you decide to go to any 24-hour establishment, any place where you could get your head around work in peace. Maybe it was raw feelings, or just lack of attention, but you didn't care if disappearing caused a fuss among your friends. If it were up to you, a complete song would be created that night out of all your frustrations.

…

When Eddie opened the doors to the house he was surprised to see the lights on, Karen was on the sofa with her hands in her hair and her legs kept moving up and down. He frowns and gives a questioning look to Warren who was eating a banana in the corner of the room, he just takes a deep breath and doesn't give another answer.

“I swear to God, if she's not having sex right she better have a good excuse to just disappear!” Karen utters, Graham puts one of his hands on her back as comfort.

“What the fuck is going on?” Roundtre asks, a little bit worried.

“Y/N, Daisy and I went to a party and she just vanished.” Sirko's blonde locks got messy as she frantically ran her hands through it.

“What?” Eddie widens his eyes, worried. "You left her alone?"

“Are you going to keep throwing things in my face? I know I fucked up, alright.”

“I think we all should take a rest, it's late.” Graham says.

“Yeah, and besides… I'm pretty sure she'll be back tomorrow.” Rojas tries to comfort everyone, and after a while he manages to get them all a little bit more calm.

…

You were a mess, your hair was a mess, your papers spread across the table were a mess and you didn't even want to look at your face. But you had a song made, lyrics complete, rhythm organized and the guitar and bass part was done, and even with a lot of anguish, you were proud of your work.

You quickly stuff the papers into your backpack, and order a taxi to the house you shared with the band, knowing that you would be scolded for disappearing last night. But honestly, all you wanted was to forget what happened.

“I'm gonna kill you.” You hear Karen's voice and Immediately let out a long breath, she stops when she sees your face. “Bloody hell you look horrible.”

“Thank you very much” You roll your eyes, trying to pass by her, he holds your arm.

“What happened?” You can see she was worried, but you felt pathetic just thinking about saying any of this out loud.

“I can't say it.”

“Bullshit!” She crosses her arms and stops in front of you, preventing you from going forward.

“Fine, I don't want to say it.”

“Where were you yesterday?” She tries once more.

“Writing.”

“You left in the middle of the party to write?” Karen arches her eyebrows, in disbelief. “Without any extra reasons?”

You see Camila approaching, and it takes a lot for you not to cry when you see the person you trusted who had broken your heart so easily. You avoid her eyes, wiping away the tears that escaped.

“Look, I don't want to cause any fuss.” Your voice was choked, your gaze fixed on your foot.

“Karen called me worried yesterday, what happened? Where were you?" Camila comes with her calm voice, you feel a disappointment growing in your core.

“I left, alright?” You say louder than you expected, closing your eyes to take a deep breath. “And I'm leaving.”

“Who's leaving?” Warren's voice comes behind you, he joins everyone. “Hey Y/N, you good?”

“Not really, no.” You give him a small smile, he for sure would be one of the things that made this harder. “I'm quitting the band.”

“What?” They all say together, you swallow hard.

“Why?” Karen was shocked, in disbelief.

“I love you guys so much.” You say between tears, taking a while to pull yourself together. “But I only get hurt lately, and I need time to heal.”

“Who's hurting you?” Warren says in defence. “I'll kick their ass!”

You let out a laugh, “I don't want to cause a mess between you guys, I'm just going to pack my things and go.”

“I don't get it.” Karen says, so lost.

“Just be honest with us.” Camila asks.

“Look, it's fine.” You shrug, holding your bag close to you. “Just like I said, I don't want scandal.”

“You're being ridiculous.” Sirko let's out, frustrated.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Camila asks, nodding towards the balcony, you go with her. “What's happening to you?"

“I saw what you did yesterday." Your voice became more choked, you tried hard not to cry. “How could you?”

“What are you talking about?” You can see that she is taken by surprise.

“I saw you kissing Eddie yesterday.” Your vision is blurry with tears. “Why?”

“Look, let's not over react this…” Her voice is lower now, as if trying her best to avoid any attention.

“How on earth am I overreacting?” Slowly you got mad, trying to hold back all your emotions. “All this years I told you how I felt about him, how I bad I felt and yet you… you still did it.”

“Y/N, that's no reason to leave the band.” She avoids the subject. “They need a bass player, you can't just leave when they're recording an album…”

“No fucking reason?” You were shocked, your heart racing. “You don't even care about me, you're worried about the band.”

“Stop being like that.” She rolls her eyes. “It's been years of this, he doesn't like you. I know I did wrong but not with you, with my husband…”

“You think that what you did with me was not a betrayal?”

“I honestly don't think so.” She laughs, and that sents you. “He doesn't feel a thing about you, maybe it's time for you to get over it.”

You cry, your chest hurts. “I'm leaving.”

You turn to leave, knowing that your conversation has been heard by the others when you are met with pitying eyes.

…

You said you would and you did, you left there and only kept in touch with Karen after a few months of leaving. Little by little you got good opportunities, and over time you joined a band that was having great success.

Your song 'Silver Springs' had been written on one of the most troubled nights of your life and had now become your ticket to glorious days like this one. Festivals were your favorite days, you just loved to feel the audience's energy and sing along with them.

But besides loving all of this, today was being chaotic… You knew you went on stage in a few minutes and your guitar player was extremely drunk, you were furious and extremely nervous.

“Oh my God!” The British accent said each word slowly, you turned to see your ex bandmate with a wide smile heading towards you. “You look amazing! It's been so long.”

You go to her hugging her for a while, after some usual questions like "how have you been?" "How are the others?" "Any news?" She looks into your eyes with her eyebrows showing concern.

“Is everything alright?” She asks.

“Not actually, our guitar player fucked up.” Your voice was filled with nerves. “And we're up soon, I don't know what to do! He is the only one who can actually sing and—

“I could help.” You jump when you hear Eddie's voice behind you, you're body reacting weirdly at the sight of him after so long.

“Hearing our conversations?” You try to hide your small smile. “I see you didn't change, uh.”

“Not a bit.” He gives you a smile and you remember why you fell for him in the first place. “So, what do you say?”

“Do you really know the song?” You wanted to hide the way your body automatically wanted to go to him.

“You kidding me?” He jokes, adjusting his collar. “Everyone knows this song, it's amazing.”

“I'd love your help Eddie, thank you!” Somehow you feel peace between you two.

…

You feel the lights on your skin as you get yourself ready, amidst the expectant hush of the gathered crowd, the first haunting notes of "Silver Springs" begin to weave through the air. You get to the center of the stage, paying attention to the audience as you let the notes lead you, your presence commanding and vulnerable all at once. Opposite you, Eddie Roundtree appears—a silent sentinel, yet a potent source of the tension that fills the space between you.

The audience goes crazy, everyone knew the rumors about your song and what has inspired you. There was a huge controversy about the release of this song right after you left Daisy Jones and The Six, so when they all see Eddie Roundtree by your side to play it was for sure a fact to cheer for.

As your voice rises, imbued with a raw, piercing emotion, the air seems to thicken. Each word you sing, a testament to love lost and the pain of what could have been, hangs heavy in the atmosphere. Somehow you remember ‘Regret Me’ and how Daisy let out her feelings in the lyrics, you felt connected to her even though you left. Eddie's gaze, intense and unwavering, meets yours. It's a look that speaks volumes, a silent dialogue that only those who have loved and lost can fully comprehend.

You feel the audience’s attention, and your heart softens as you hear their voices sing along with you. As the song goes on, its lyrics casting spells of everything you once felt for the man by your side, the connection between you and Eddie becomes palpable, almost a living thing that reaches out and enfolds every heart in the venue.

With every verse, the space between you seems both to widen and to shrink, a paradox that only deepens the allure of your interaction. It's as if the song is a bridge you're both building back to a moment lost in time, laden with all the things left unsaid. The air vibrates with the tension of the unspoken, the weight of history that both separates and binds you two. It's a tension that speaks to the heartache of love's aftermath, the beauty of art born from pain.

You see in Eddie's eyes curiosity and at the same time regret, you consider looking away, but once you connect like that it is impossible for you to look away. It was like letting your souls show, and dance together. You approach him without taking your eyes off at any time, he accompanies you to the music feeling tense.

As the song reaches its crescendo, a silent conversation occurs in the span of a few heartbeats. It's a moment of vulnerability and power, a clash of emotions that spills over into the audience, leaving an indelible mark on the collective consciousness of the crowd. The applause that follows is thunderous, not just for the technical brilliance of the performance, but for the courage it took to bare such raw emotions in the full view of the world.

“Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen! I hope you enjoyed our show and have an amazing time with my friends… everyone, please welcome Daisy Jones and The Six"

You leave the stage accompanied by your band, you imagined that Eddie would stay on stage to save time, but the touch on your shoulder that makes you turn around tells you no.

“Hey, can we talk?” Eddie says, you can sense his tension.

“But, you guys are up next.” You point to the other band members arranging their instruments.

“I just, I wanted to know…” He holds back, trying to figure out what to say. “I just wanted to know if you still… if you still feel the same way about me.”

You swallow hard, “Do we really have to talk about this?”

“You know I didn't mean to hurt you.” You avoid his eyes. “I really didn't.”

“It's okay, we don't have to talk about it.”

“But I do want to, this song is…”

“Eddie, it's the truth.” You didn't know how to say this in another way. “I was hurt, and I guess I did a good job, because I'm sure you'll never forget the sound of me.”

He avoids your eyes, letting out a chuckle. “Do you think we can be friends?”

“I don't think I'm ready for that.” You say honestly, his eyes, despite being sad, seem to show understanding. “But maybe we'll meet again someday.”

“I really hope so.” He whispers.

“Hey brother, we gotta go.” Warren calls out for Eddie, turning to you. “You guys nailed it up there.” You murmur to him a “thank you.”

“Good-bye guys.” You say goodbye, leaving Eddie with just the sound of your love.

...

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selyeji · 8 days

Text

nouvelle vague

joão felix x reader

summary : you were simply an intern and he was on loan, you’ll blame the full moon.

warnings : not proofread, angst, joao is toxic and stupid, m*gui…

you stood on the elevator, holding onto your bag with both your hands. legs crossing while you lean against the railing, your gaze lowered to the floor. it was your first day as an intern, helping in the clubs social media and journalism.

the chimes of the door open, from your gaze you saw white sneakers, black pants and a pair of football cleats. dangling from his index and middle finger to carry it around. assuming he was a player for the club, you raise your head looking at his face. the bright lights of the elevator made his brown hair glow, his eyes were hooded and dark, ears busy listening to music.

softly sending a smile and a nod towards him, to show proper respect. he smiles back as he places his focus on pressing the buttons for his floor. you started to scrape off a hangnail on a finger of yours, it was a bad habit if yours. you did it to distract yourself or whenever you felt nervous.

the football player arrived on his floor first, footsteps echoed through the empty hallways once he exited the elevator. as you went up, you fixed your posture, eating a mint and fixing your hair. nervous for the new work space.

the moment you entered the office, your boss guided you around to introduce you. arriving to your own table, you started to place your things down. arranging a few files, pens and your laptop.

deciding to check on the photographers kn the training ground, you walk outside to the field. immediately facing the blue sky and green grass. jogging over to the area where most staff sat, creating small talk. until you saw those familiar boots again, white with cuts of grass under its heel.

the brown haired man from earlier, his hair messed up and the sun creating light highlights on his curls. it wasn’t until now you had a good look at him. he was handsome, perfect smile. your pupils darting up and down to look at his muscular but slim form.

…

the day started to pass by, the sun rays peeping out the pink blue clouds. you started to gather the necessities back in your bag, greeting you co-workers on your way out. you waited for the elevator once again to reach your floor, the doors slide open.

the player from earlier, met again. you were surprised, majority already went home. he was still in the building while you were expecting to get back alone. you shrugged it off, it was your first day either way. you wouldn’t know their schedule, maybe you were the one getting into their usual routine. he softly greeted you, recognizing you from earlier that day.

…

in the next days of the week, getting into the same elevator and seeing the same face. this became a daily routine of seeing other. you two got closer and closer, introducing each other and usually creating small talk. it was nice to get closer to someone aside from the people in the shared office.

it was after a long day of work, sun already set as the purple sky blended. you decided to visit a nearby music shop, it was your go-to shop whenever searching for vinyls or cds. the cashier already recognizes your face from the amount of times you visited.

pushing the glass door, entering the warm room. you already had your earphones on walking over to the cd section. looking over the new albums released, the arrangement wasn’t really organized by genre.

your peace was disturbed with a male voice, removing one of your earbuds. you look up to see joão, he smiled at you, showing his straight white teeth.

“i love the smiths” he said, referring to the album you were holding. you were a bit taken back, of course they’re known worldwide but here? not as much. “The Queen Is Dead is my personal favorite album. what about you?” he continued and asked you.

“Louder Than Bombs.” you grin sweetly at him, a bit of pink tint on your cheeks. he still stood on the opposite side, you two separated by the racks of cds on your side while vinyls on his. joão starts to look through the vinyl albums.

“you prefer vinyls over cds?” you ask him. continue to looking for yours. “of course, the albums are big enough to flex your music taste to people.” he joked. you chuckle, “im more of a cd person, you could listen to it everywhere.”

you two continued to talk, wasting the time in the store. recommending albums to each other, you two shared a passion for music, whether it was rap, r&b, jazz, pop or whatever. the two of you said your goodbyes once he left the store. you stood on the counter, deciding to buy the albums he recommended.

you rushed back home, your smile did not leave your face at all even after he left. quickly taking a warm shower, feeding your cat before going over to your desk.

turning on your lamp and cd player, before taking out the cd from the case and putting it on the player. you look at track-list while listening. based from the titles, you were expecting more love songs. you listen through the entire album, it was more of soft songs but it was for sure a great album. turning off the light, deciding to go to sleep.

…

you woke up early as usual, doing your daily routine before going off to work. you usually brought your own burnt cd with your custom playlist, but deciding to bring the other album you bought. deciding to listen to it on the way with your portable cd player.

once you arrived, elevator with him again. you both smile at each other. joao notices the music you were listening to, grinning to himself. but decided not to disturb you as usual.

you arrive to your office, quietly working on your own until you realize you finish the entire tracklist already. deciding to check up on the photographers on the field once again.

joao kept looking at you more than usual, smiling more until you noticed. once it got repetitive you just gave a lazy confused face, making him laugh. you went back to the office continuing your work.

the day ended, stretching your back while walking to the elevator. joao was already there as usual, he raises your brow at you while smiling. giving him a confused look you asked “what?”

“how was the album i gave you? didn’t think you would actually listen to my recommendations.” you connected the dots realizing he heard it blasting too loud earlier.

“surprisingly good from you. both albums were pretty great. plus whats the point of recommending if you’re not gonna listen anyways?” you raise your chin, smiling.

“hey wait surprisingly? what does that mean?” he asks, acting offended.

“nothing, if you heard it earlier, why didn’t you ask beforehand?” you chuckle. “i don’t wanna disturb you while listening to ethereal music. especially coming from me.” he says in a sassy tone. you laugh it off with him.

ever since then the two of you got close, always striking a conversation whenever you saw each other. whether it was on the field or not. the two of you definitely shared a lot of interests. it made you way more comfortable in your work space.

…

the sky was pitch midnight, the glowing of night life clubs became a source or light. you walk around the neon lights finding a specific bar. a friend of yours was performing tonight. they weren’t a big hit band but they still performed gigs often.

you walked in with a large crowd already waiting, the band was already preparing their instruments onstage. deciding to go the bar next to it, ordering a juice. you definitely did not want to deal with a headache in the morning.

before you knew it, the drummer started counting and the performance started. you still sat on the stool, taking sips every so often.

you felt a tap behind your shoulder, you turned your head, checking behind you. joao looking down on you smiling, he wore a white hoodie and black pants.

“mind if i sit next to you?” he asked, his head nodding to the side to the empty seat next to you. you smiled softly and said sure.

“didn’t know you went to these kinds of places.” joao yelled through the loud music and guitar. “im only here to support my friend actually, she’s the bass player over there.” you yelled back, pointing to your friend on the stage.

looking back to joao, the blue and purple lights that spread throughout the room, hitting his face. his eyes were already staring into yours, reflecting the bright lights in the room but kept it on yours.

your faces got closer, elbow leaning on the counter. your eyes going back and forth from his eyes to his full lips. before your lips could even collide, you two were distracted by the sudden yell of the crowd. a impressive guitar solo started playing, the room filled with cheers and claps. you laughed at joaos face while clapping, your romantic session ended.

leaning near to his neck you whisper, “let’s continue this later…” saying in a playful tone. you maintain eye contact as you smile.

once the performance ended, you greeted your friend goodbye after creating small talk. you walk out, already seeing joao waiting for you. he looks up from his phone, smirking. “let’s go, i know a spot.” he said, his hand out inviting you to hold hands.

grabbing his palm, intertwining hands. he walks you to the beach, it had a way nicer view of the ocean, you haven’t discovered this place before. he sat on the sand, tapping the empty spot beside him insisting you sit down.

you sat on the grainy sand, looking up to the night sky. it was a full moon, stars behind it but still shining in their own way. bringing your legs to your chest, you look beside you to see joao. his hands behind to lean on the ground.

moonlight reflected to his defined cheekbones, he raised his hand up to your jaw. dark pupils staring into your eyes, tucking a hair strand behind your ear before kissing you. your body started leaning against his, pushing the kiss further and further.

once you two separated, catching your breath. your head rested on his shoulder, refusing to look him on the face. too embarrassed on what would happen now. joao broke the silence through his giggle, picking you up while your legs hugged around his waist and your arms snake around his neck.

he carried you over to his car, which was surprisingly parked just nearby the beach. putting you down on the passenger seat, kissing your forehead in the process. once he got to the drivers seat, immediately leaning to rest his back.

“open up the compartment.” joao said, smirking as his hands rise up to the back of his head. you raise a brow while pouting your lips, wondering what he was talking about, your muscles immediately soften. the compartment was filled with cd cases.

“woah… i thought you were a vinyl person…” you said, still amazed looking at the different music you still haven’t listened to.

“can’t play them in a car no?” he laughs it off. you look over to him, the muscles in his arm clearly defined and showing. his white teeth showing through his perfect smile. you blush, admiring his features.

…

since that night, you and joao have gotten way closer than before. more than friends, but you weren’t even sure what was going on between you two.

he’d often let you stay at his house, play video games, cook, eat, shower together, make love. you two were like a couple, not publicly.

you laid down on joaos couch, waiting for him to get back home. scrolling through the internet finding something to entertain yourself with, you come across an interview. it was pretty recent from twitter, you play it to see joao.

smiling to yourself until the interview asked, “are you currently in a relationship? seeing someone?”

“no, im not seeing anyone right now.”

“so you’re available?”

“yes.”

his answer echoed in your head, repeating and repeating. sure you were fine with being private, especially with pressure in social media, but this?

publicly saying you’re available, acting like a person wasn’t waiting for you back home. you were tipped off, pissed even. did he not consider you worthy? were you just a replacement until he found someone new?

you turned off your phone, hand hanging off the side of the couch as you grip onto your device. staring onto the blank ceiling, the white light bulb still lighting up the room. the door creaks open, you raise your head to see joao entering the house. removing his shoes before stepping in. he walked over to you as you stood up, embracing you into a hug.

“hey babyy…” he mumbled. he was soft with you, in the field he’s fiery and aggressive but now he’s just soft and sweet. you heart warmed up, forgetting about the interview, passing it off as wanting to keep things more private and secured.

“let’s just take a shower can we… scrub my back for me?” he asked, using his dark puppy eyes again to get what he wants, his cheeks pouting. “fine…” you smiled, before leading him into the bathroom.

…

you forgot about that day, what happened. well you tried, you kept getting reminded about it. you were paranoid if he was out with someone else. you never showed it to him or anyone else. you acted unbothered.

you were at your office, getting off your seat for lunch break. you decide to go out to eat, forgetting to pack your own lunch. you walked to a nearby cafe, it was a local shop, not much customers around this time. you ordered a coffee and pasta. you sat down waiting for your order, scrolling in tiktok until you come across and familiar face, with another one.

you look closer to find joao, sat with magui in a restaurant. he only got back from international break a few days ago. you were heartbroken, everything inside you shattered to pieces.

scrolling through the comments on how he doesn’t learn his lesson and never move on. they were always right, he never made an effort to move on. your name was called, you order was already ready. turning off your phone to clear your thoughts and to bring back your tray.

you began eating your food, staring out the cafes glass window. blankly staring as people walked pass, going on with their day. you were finished with him, he was an asshole from the start.

after you finished your food, you went back to work. letting the hours pass by. but your thoughts never left, your legs bounced the whole time, you couldn’t focus properly.

your shift ended, you quickly grabbed your bag and things. going onto the elevator, unfortunately he was already there. you kept the gaze of your eyes lowered, not getting even a view of his face. quickly just wanting to get out.

you had your earphones on, nothing played. you just wanted joao to get off your back for now, once the doors opened. you rushed out, quickly running out the building. unfortunately joao caught up, he knew something happened to you.

he grabbed your wrist, making you turn to him. you stopped on your tracks, facing him, your eyes filled with hatred. joao was taken back.

“what happened baby?” he asked, his tone filled with pure sweetness.

this time you didn’t soften, you were done with him.

“seriously you’re gonna act nothing happened? with magui?” you took your hand back.

he was shock, his eyes widened. he didn’t expect her to find out, nor anyone.

“please i can explain darling-“ his face turned into a worry look.

“oh so you can call me a pet name but can’t even place a label between us?” you cut him off. “us? you really think friends would do anything like we do? after everything? don’t try to establish a relationship you don’t want.” you continued. tears started to build up in your eyes.

you ran off, before anyone could see you. getting into your apartment before breaking down. everything felt heavy, like the world was against you. your bedsheets stained with tears that will last.

…

it’s been weeks since then, you decide to walk over to the shore. its late at night, you couldn’t sleep from all the energy drinks you consumed from wanting to study longer. the moon was bright as ever.

you saw that same spot again, where everything started. you internship has ended while joaos loan contract wasn’t extended. you were glad you didn’t get to see him anymore. he’s back at portugal, but you also knew he would get to see magui again.

there was nothing you could do now, joao was cruel and deep like the ocean. but it would make sense if magui was the moon, affecting him like the ocean depended on her. you were simply a star, something you look for when the moon is not at sight.

daily click to help palestine

a/n : w2e save me… please save me w2e if you can hear me please😭😭 sorry but every good romcom mentions the smiths therefore it needs a place here

#joao felix #joao felix x reader #joao felix imagine #joao felix angst #football x reader #football imagine #footballer x reader #football oneshot #fanfic

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fortheloveofwonderland · 1 year

Text

Midnight | Chapter 1 | S.R

Chapter Summary - Spencer is running out of time to evade capture and he reflects on the journey he’s been on. You drop a bombshell that could change everything.

A/N - this chapter is present day, all other chapters will be set a few months prior leading up to this chapter. Chapter title from the Set it Off album “Midnight”. Song lyrics at the end of the chapter.

Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending

Warnings - unsub Spencer, murder, vigilante, swearing, talk of suicide by cop, getting caught.

WC - 5k

Chapter One - Killer in the Mirror

“Sometimes there is no darker place than our thoughts, the moonless midnight of the mind.”

It all unravelled a lot faster than he could have ever anticipated. His carefully wound ball of yarn in which he weaved his secret life was untangling before his very eyes, his meticulously curated alter ego coming apart at the seams.

Never let your guards down, the cardinal rule. Never trust anyone, never let them in. What was the point in creating these walls if he was going to be so quick to take them down and let someone in?

He was smarter than this. He was so much smarter than this. He should never have found himself in this position, covering his tracks should have been the easy part.

He had years of experience under his belt studying the crimes of morons who inevitably got themselves caught. When he’d found himself on this path, he swore he’d never fall victim to the idiocy of human behaviour. Most specifically: affairs of the heart.

Love had a way of wrapping its evil talons around you, sneaking in through cracks you weren’t even aware had formed. He’d been so sure he’d built those walls air tight, thrown away the keys to the gates surrounding his heart. Love infected you, little by little, day by day. And not only his heart had been affected, but his mind too.

Sex was one thing. Sex was carnal, primitive. Sex was a basic human desire, one that he craved just as much as the next person. Pleasure, not necessarily intimacy, a fulfilling of a base need. Sex allowed him to still keep his guards intact and unscathed. If it had just been about sex he might not have found himself in this position.

The lust had intertwined itself with love somewhere deep within his soul. He’d no longer been thinking solely of his own survival, he’d gotten distracted. You had distracted him from his goal. And now there was no going back, no way to undo all the miss steps he’d taken.

He could blame you but he knew it was entirely pointless. He couldn’t hold you accountable for the fact he’d become preoccupied because he was the only one at fault here. Every decision he’d made, he’d made alone. You’d diverted his attention, but he was the catalyst that ultimately led to this situation.

Every choice he’d made since leaving the BAU had been his own doing. Taking justice into his own hands, ridding the world of one evil at a time, the literal and metaphoric blood was on his hands and his hands alone. You’d simply found yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time and been catapulted into his new, twisted idea of law enforcement.

What confused him the most was how, in the space of a few months, you’d gotten your clutches into his heart. It had to be something to do with the intense, high pressure nature of the situation that had caused him to believe he was feeling things that weren’t really there. He’d known you countless years before all of this and he was sure his heart had never called to you the way it did now.

Maybe it was all in his head and not in his heart at all. Maybe being in love with you was an easier explanation for how he’d gotten distracted than admitting he may have just gotten sloppy. He supposed ultimately it didn’t matter much why it had happened, only that it did. And laying the blame elsewhere was an easier pill to swallow.

It was probably inevitable that his wrong doings would catch up on him eventually, he just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. He’d been prepared since day one, since the day he decided to embark on this new life; he’d always known how he would choose for it to end should it come to this.

He was not going back to prison, to the place that had led him here in the first place. No, he wasn’t getting caught. He would sooner die than go back there, and that seemed as though it would be a likely outcome.

He could run. Again. He’d gotten so good at that. He still had a small window of time before the place was surrounded, he could flee once more into the night. But then what? His time was running out and he knew it, it wouldn’t be long before they found him again, they were the best at what they did after all.

He could probably evade them a little longer if he wanted to but what if he didn’t want to? The truth was, he was tired, maybe too tired to fight the inevitable anymore. Running could only get him so far. But he wouldn’t give up without one last fight, he would go down in a blaze of glory.

Who knows, death might even be a reprieve, there was something so bittersweet about the idea of being dragged down into his own demise by people he had once called friends. He could get off a couple of shots, over their heads so as not to injure them, but enough to cause the trigger happy local cops to return fire. It was the only way he could picture it ending, in a shower of bullets.

He picked up the gun from where it sat on the edge of the sink and tucked it into the back of his waistband. He hadn’t used a firearm in some months, preferring a more brutal and hands on method for his extra curricular activities.

He swallowed thickly as he gripped the sides of the basin and let his eyes cast upwards to the grimy old mirror over the sink. The smirk adorned on his lips was menacing as he took in the reflection of the man he’d become. Or maybe it was the man he’d always been somewhere deep inside.

It was possible he’d simply managed to keep this side of himself locked up, but over the years the cage had been rattled and eventually the monster had been set free. And once he’d been released, there was no stopping him.

He’d been twenty three years old the first time he’d had to kill someone on the job. Philip Dowd, the LDSK who had taken him and Hotch hostage. The only way out was for him to shoot the guy. For months, maybe even years after, the look in Dowd’s eyes as he realised he was about to die haunted his dreams. The nightmares that had ensued and the guilt that flooded every fibre of his being was a feeling he’d never wanted to experience again.

It wasn’t until he was in his forties that he first killed for pleasure, slashing the throat of a serial murderer who had evaded capture. He’d purposefully tracked him down and taken the hunting knife to the man’s neck. He was sure he’d been grinning when the blood spilled from the other man’s carotid artery. The warm, sticky substance coating his hands had permeated his sleeping hours, only this time it didn’t scare him. It excited him.

At forty two years old, Spencer Reid finally found his reason for living. And he didn’t miss the irony that his life’s purpose was death. Killing those people who had flown under the radar of cops and FBI, who’s crimes had gone unpunished, filled him with a kind of ecstasy nothing else in his life ever had. It wasn’t as though they didn’t deserve it, he’d never kill an innocent person, he was simply speeding up the slow turning wheels of justice.

And he’d never felt more alive.

The eyes staring back at him were darker than he’d ever seen them, black like his soul had become. His pupils bled into his irises, it was like looking into the eyes of the devil himself. He didn’t recognise what he’d become, but surprisingly that didn’t bother him.

He reached up and ran one hand through his tangled mess of hair which had long grown down his neck and he often needed to push strands back off of his face and out of his eyes. His hand moved down the side of his face, cupping his beared jaw which hadn’t seen a razor in months. He found he liked the rugged look, it made him appear more dangerous, just as he felt.

He straightened up, adjusted his tie and brushed out the creases in the front of his crisp white button down. If he was going to let them take him down, he would at least leave a good looking, well dressed corpse.

As he adjusted the firearm in its position at his lower back, he heard the motel door creak loudly as it was opened, followed swiftly by it slamming shut noisily. He kept his eyes trained on the mirror while footsteps padded his way and then the bathroom door flew open against its hinges.

You caught his eye in the mirror, a slightly wild look on your face as you glared at him. Your eyebrows were so high they practically reached your hairline. He offered you a look that told you to speak, as opposed to just staring at him like he could somehow read your mind.

“What are you doing? Come on, we’ve gotta go!” You sounded exasperated.

Spencer’s eyes flicked back over his own reflection as his hands languidly moved to straighten his tie again, like he had all the time in the world and not at all as though his crimes were about to catch up on him.

“Why run? I’m tired of running.” He spoke without looking at you.

“You’re throwing in the towel?” You huffed, stepping closer to him. “They’ll send you back to prison.”

“Not if I have my way.” He smirked into the mirror, feeling you moving even closer to him.

“No, no way.” You shook your head, suddenly clutching him by the shoulders and turning him to face you.

He spun around on his heels, pressing his back up against the basin and crossing his arms over his chest. He looked down on you with manic eyes, eyebrows furrowed deeply showcasing his frustrations.

“Y/N,” he began in that cool, collected tone you’d grown used to. Usually that timbre was enough to stop you in your tracks, but not today.

“No,” You spoke again, shaking your head in defiance. “I will not let you go out that way. Suicide by cop? Nuh uh, not on my watch.”

Spencer’s eyes turned impossibly blacker and his lip tugged up at the corner in a threatening smirk. He unfolded his arms and you swallowed thickly as his hands came to rest on your shoulders. It was a similar gesture to what you’d previously just done to him only his hands were heavy on you, blunt fingernails pressing into the muscles diligently. You wouldn’t be surprised if he left bruises, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

“When do you think you started to have a say in what I choose to do?” He spoke softly, an odd juxtaposition from the way he surveyed you and held you.

“Maybe when I ended up being dragged into this mess. This isn’t just about you, Spencer. I don’t want to die like this.”

“And I’m not stopping you from leaving. I have never once stopped you from leaving, in fact I seem to remember I actively encouraged your doing so. Run away, Y/N, tell them that I kidnapped you or something. Tell them I held you against your will. It doesn't matter to me, I won’t be around to find out.” His hands slid from your shoulders, down your biceps and forearms before falling to his sides, physically and metaphorically letting you go.

“No,” You shook your head again. “Not after everything we’ve been through to get here. Not after all the trouble I’ve gone through for you. This is not how this ends.”

Spencer chuckled murderously, stepping even closer to you which caused you to take a few steps back until your back was pressing up against the bathroom door. He towered over you, his height once a thing that made you feel safe but he was now using it against you.

This time he only raised one hand and it came to nestle against your throat, almost delicately at first. His long, nimble fingers caressed the soft flesh of your neck but it was over in a second and soon he was tightening his hold on you, like a snake coiling itself around its prey.

His eyes briefly flit down to the necklace hanging from your neck, the one you hadn’t taken off since the day he brought it for you. It was a symbol, an emblem that you belonged to him and you wore it with pride.

“Princess,” He breathed, pressing his palm against your windpipe. “I never asked for your help. And you don’t get a say in this. So either run away or face off with the cops with me. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me.”

He gave you a firm squeeze, causing you to choke a little before he was suddenly letting you go and pushing you aside so he could leave the bathroom. You coughed to clear your throat, scrambling after him into the motel bedroom. You watched as he strolled to the window, pushed the curtains aside a few inches and peered between the crack.

Nothing but a few cars in the desolate parking lot and dark desert sky awaited him. They should be here by now. By all accounts they should have had the place surrounded by now, what was keeping them? He would smile and wave as he took his final encore, shooting his bullets into the dusty air while his old team greeted him and he fell to his knees in the dirt as the bullets ripped through him.

Goodbye Emily. Goodbye JJ. Goodbye Luke, Matt and Tara. Goodbye Rossi. Goodbye Garcia, I hope they caught this on tape for you.

“Spencer!” You called his name with an urgency he’d never heard from your lips and it caused him to turn to you with a frustrated frown.

“You should leave now if you’re going to. They will be here any minute.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head and he noticed the way your eyes glossed over.

Frown deepening, he took a few steps away from the window, meeting you in the middle of the grimy room. The closer he got, the more he could see the tears filling your beautiful eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, hand raising once more only this time it settled on your face. He cupped your cheek with delicate precision, such a stark contrast to the way he’d wrapped his hand around your throat moments before. “Can’t bear to leave me?”

“It’s not that.” You nuzzled against his hand. “I can’t let you do this, Spencer.”

A single tear fell from your eye, rolling down your cheek but Spencer caught it on his thumb and brushed it away. Your lip trembled and you sniffed noisily to try and stave off anymore.

“What is it you aren’t saying? If this is just about feelings, Y/N, you’ll find someone else. Trust me.”

“No, it’s not about…” You swallowed, pouting at him. “This is bigger than just us now.”

As if a damn had broken, tears started cascading down your face at an alarming rate but Spencer wiped away each one. His eyes narrowed on you, trying to read your thoughts, trying to ascertain the things you weren’t vocalising.

It wasn’t until you tore your eyes off of him and he followed your gaze downwards that he realised what was happening. At first he thought you were looking at the floor but he quickly discerned your eyes had stopped somewhere higher. Trailing upwards from your feet he distinguished you were looking right at your stomach.

His hand abruptly fell from your face to his side and his eyes snapped up to look at your face once more. You met his confused and slightly bewildered gaze, all the while tears were still rolling down your cheeks. He stumbled a little on his feet, looking like he had been punched in the gut. You’d never seen him look so lost before.

“Say something,” you choked on a sob, hands coming to cradle your stomach out of instinct.

Spencer opened his mouth before quickly closing it again, rolling his bottom lip briefly between his teeth before trying to find his words once more. Again, he opened and closed his mouth, the only discernible sound was a small whimper he let leave his parted lips. His hands were noticeably jittering, his thumb tapping against the side of his thigh as if the rhythm was helping calm him.

You stared at him, waiting for him to speak, begging him with your eyes to say anything, anything other than just staring at you this way. You watched his eyes flit from your face to your stomach and back again several times before they finally settled on your eyes.

“You’re…?” He croaked hoarsely. “We’re…?”

“Yes.” You nodded, using one hand to wipe the tears that were hindering your vision. “Eleven weeks.”

He opened his mouth to speak again but this time before he could get any words out he heard something off in the distance. Judging by the way your eyes widened, you heard it too. Your tears fell heavier and Spencer turned back to the window, creeping towards it and cracking the curtains barely an inch. The pitch black desert was lit up by the unmistakable blue halos, somewhere far off but certainly heading your way. The wail of the sirens quickly grew louder as they closed in on the motel.

“Shit.” He spat, hurriedly pulling the curtains again and turning to regard you. “Shit.”

“This can’t be how it ends.” You held your stomach tighter, even more tears now breaking free.

Spencer made quick work of crossing the room to you and placing his large hands over your smaller, delicate ones. His own eyes gave away to his fear, and if Spencer was scared you knew to be petrified. Spencer Reid was scared of nothing.

“I won’t let it, I’ll think of something.” He closed his eyes like that might help him form a coherent thought.

Wake up, snap out of it. Or you may well never wake up again.

His earlier conviction for his death at the hands of law enforcement had flown out the window the second you’d shared your news. He couldn’t exit this mortal coil in such a way, not now he had a child on the way. He was not leaving his child like his own father had abandoned him. There had to be a way. There just had to be.

It was funny how one simple thing could change his mind so drastically. Spencer had been sure he was ready for where this was heading, ready to stop running, to stop fighting the inevitable. He didn’t think anything or anyone could change his mind. But this wasn’t just about him or you anymore. There was so much more on the line. Getting caught suddenly wasn’t an option.

The sirens grew louder and he could hear the gravel under tires as the vehicles got closer. The blue light of the flashing beacons bathed the room ominously, he could see it even behind his closed lids.

“Spencer!” You cried, jiggling up and down. “Spencer, do something!”

His eyes shot open and landed on the timepiece hanging on the wall. As he watched the clock roll to midnight, Spencer knew whatever he did next he had to be sure of. If he wasn’t then the three of you might not make it out of this alive. In a perfect world, you would all get away, but as long as Spencer could secure your safety then he would have to be ok with that. As long as you lived to bring their child into the world he could worry about everything else later.

But he had to do everything in his power for all three of you to make it out of this.

“Spencer!” You screamed as the sirens reached fever pitch, tires screeching on the asphalt outside as multiple vehicles came to abrupt stops outside the window.

The blue light completely encompassed the room, glowing harshly against your skin. Car doors started to slam closed and heavy footsteps on the gravelly parking lot got closer. He was sure he could hear weapons being drawn, sharp intakes of breath as the people outside his room took aim.

“Spencer Reid, we know you’re in there.” A voice sounded over a megaphone, causing you to gasp in recognition. “Spencer, we just want to help you, please?”

Emily Prentiss’ tone was stern yet held the sadness of chasing one of her own. You looked petrified and that was only intensified when Spencer started smiling. He surprised you when he took off past you back towards the bathroom. Frowning, you quickly followed.

“What are you doing? Spencer!” You chased after him and found him standing in the bathtub on his tiptoes and toying with a vent above the shower head.

You watched in confusion as he made quick work of the four screws holding the vent in place before yanking it off the wall and tossing it aside. He turned back to you with a smile.

“You think I didn’t scope out an escape route?” He chuckled, holding out his hand for you which you took as you stepped into the tub. “It’s just big enough for a human body to fit through on their front. It’s a straight path, the vent on the outside is already loosened, I made sure of it. As soon as you’re out, you’re going to run. Run as fast as you fucking can and do not look back. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Spencer Reid! If you can hear me, you need to come out with your hands up!” Emily’s voice sounded angrier now and he knew he didn’t have much time.

“What about you? You’ll be right behind me, right?” You grabbed his face in your hands, cloying to him like he was your only lifeline.

“Don’t worry about me, princess.” He smiled, bowing his head to capture your lips in a chaste kiss as he placed his hand on your belly. “I need you to focus on yourself and this little one.”

“Spencer, do not get yourself killed.” You sobbed. “We can’t do this without you.”

“And you won’t.” He tried to insist, although he wasn’t entirely sure of that fact himself. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”

He kissed you again, this time laced with slightly more passion. Then he took a step back in the tub, bent down and placed a kiss on your stomach.

“Reid, if you don’t come out in the next sixty seconds we will breach the room.” This time it was Luke’s voice that permeated your momentary solitude.

“Spencer, I’m scared.” You whimpered when he stood back to his full height.

“I know. But trust me when I say, everything will be ok.” He wiped your tears once more whilst reaching behind himself with his free hand.

When he grasped your wrist and placed his firearm in your palm, you gasped, shaking your head frantically.

“Spence?”

“Take it, just in case.” He curled your fingers around it before ushering you towards the vent.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you from behind, closer to the vent opening. You turned your head and placed one last kiss on his lips.

“I lo…” you choked, quickly correcting yourself. “You’re my partner in crime, Spencer Reid.”

“And you’re mine. But I promise you I will see you sooner than you think.” He hoisted you higher and you tossed the gun up inside the vent before reaching out and grabbing the ledge.

He knew it wasn’t a promise he could keep, you probably knew it too, but he hoped it helped in any small way.

You pulled yourself up with Spencer’s help and wriggled onto your stomach in the small opening. When his hands left your body you suddenly felt desperately alone, wanting to immediately drop back down, fall into his arms and never let him go.

“Go, Y/N, please. You have to go.” He encouraged you.

“Thirty seconds, Reid! Don’t be stupid. Come out with your hands up!” Luke’s voice engulfed you both and with a small whimper you started to crawl forward down the vent, leaving half of your heart behind.

Spencer bent down and retrieved his second weapon from its hiding place inside his boot. He only had seconds to pull off a miracle. If this went wrong he would be killed, or worse, arrested.

Quickly stepping out of the tub and opening the cabinet beneath the sink he pulled out the large canister he’d stashed under there earlier in the day. It had been his back plan of sorts, if for whatever reason he changed his mind and decided to fight this. And now he was glad he’d had the forethought. This could quite literally blow up in his face. But he had to try, for the sake of his unborn baby.

“Twenty seconds!” Luke yelled again but Spencer wasn’t perturbed.

Taking a deep breath he uncapped the bottle and rushed back into the bedroom where he poured two thirds of it onto the strategic pile of clothes he’d left on the floor next to the bed. He walked backwards towards the bathroom, drizzling a trail from the clothes to the bathroom door.

“Ten seconds!” Luke called once again.

Spencer dropped the now empty container on the floor and stepped back inside the tub. He manoeuvred under the shower head and clambered up onto the lip of the tub, only just able to grip the edge of the vent opening.

His hand shook a little as he pointed his gun over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes on his target. One false move and it would all be over. He had one shot to get this right or he would never have the chance to meet his child.

He curled his finger around the trigger at the exact moment he heard the front door come crashing down and a flurry of law enforcement breach the motel. He took aim, he tightened his grip on the gun. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, he caught a glimpse of his reflection and he smiled at himself.

There was a killer in the mirror. And that killer was him.

Look out, they're closing in on you now,

Wake up, or you'll wake up six feet down.

Nobody's got your back in this town,

Knock 'em in the teeth now.

Out here, there's no negotiation,

No room to start a conversation.

Before you get a taste, it's taken,

Never let your guard down.

Get back, put your hands up, kinda messed up, but it's tough luck,

And I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for you.

'Cause I know if you could switch this,

You'd be dishing out the same shit,

Saying sorry, but I don't feel bad.

Now I know there's no one I can trust,

I used to think there was.

Tell me that I'm cutthroat,

I think you got your eyes closed.

Feel the fear and swallow back the tears,

Let weakness disappear.

There's nobody but me here,

The killer in the mirror.

Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror.

Where did all of the good people go?

They hide behind the bars on windows.

In hopes they can forget we're close,

Tryna get some of what they've got.

'Cause I used to believe in justice,

A place where there was better judgement.

But now I'm feeling so disgusted,

By the "have its" and the "have nots".

Get back, put your hands up, kinda messed up, but it's tough luck,

And I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for you.

'Cause I know if you could switch this,

You'd be dishing out the same shit,

Saying sorry, but I don't feel bad.

Now I know there's no one I can trust,

I used to think there was.

Tell me that I'm cutthroat,

I think you got your eyes closed.

Feel the fear and swallow back the tears,

Let weakness disappear.

There's nobody but me here,

The killer in the mirror.

Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror.

Knock 'em in the teeth now,

Never let your guard down.

Get some of what they've got,

"Have its" and the "have nots".

Knock 'em in the teeth now,

Never let your guard down.

When they step in your house,

Knock, knock, knock, knock 'em all the fuck out.

Now I know there's no one I can trust,

I used to think there was.

Tell me that I'm cutthroat (yeah, tell me that I'm cutthroat),

I think you got your eyes closed (I think you got your eyes closed).

Feel the fear and swallow back the tears,

Let weakness disappear.

There's nobody but me here,

The killer in the mirror.

Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror (killer in the mirror).

Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror (kill, oh yeah).

Feel the fear and swallow back the tears,

Let weakness disappear.

There's nobody but me here,

The killer in the mirror.

Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror.

Next chapter

Taglist

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @thebloomingeagle @dreatine @dr-spencerr-reidd @spenxerslut @radtwinkie @drayshadow @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @safespacespence @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme @dielgonacoffee @hotchandspencearedilfs @spencer-reid-wonderland

#spencer reid #unsub spencer #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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bananaofswifts · 8 months

Text

BY RACHEL SONIS

It came to her in a dream (an embarrassing one, at that), Taylor Swift recalled about the origin of her song, “All You Had To Do Was Stay.” On the cusp of her ascent into stratospheric superstardom with the release of her fifth studio album 1989 in 2014, Swift explained to TIME that in the dream, her ex had come to her front door to get her back, and all she could say back was a high-pitched “Stay.”

“It was almost operatic,” Swift said. “I woke up from the dream, saying the weird part into my phone, figuring I had to include it in something because it was just too strange not to. In pop, it’s fun to play around with little weird noises like that.”

It’s how some of our greatest pop songs have come about: making music out of the weird or the strange. That's why it is all the more surprising that “All You Had To Do Was Stay” has never gotten its due. With the release of Swift’s rerecording of 1989 bringing Taylor’s version of the song, nine years after the original, the time has come to reassess the long underappreciated track.

There’s a science, of course, behind “All You Had To Do Was Stay” and its placement on 1989. The song falls into what Swifties call the “Track Five” factor. If you look at Swift’s albums, the story goes, the fifth track of each one is the saddest and most cathartic of the project—and typically best captures its mood and message. On Fearless, it was “White Horse.” On Speak Now, it was “Dear John” and on Red, “All Too Well.” The list goes on, and for the release of her seventh studio album Lover (with “The Archer” as track five), Swift acknowledged the clear pattern.

Contrary to popular opinion, this is also true of “All You Had To Do Was Stay.” It’s one of the saddest songs in Swift’s discography, but it’s created in a way that feels foreign to those who have been following her music since she cried tears on her guitar. In fact, it’s worth asking if it’s a strategic move for the self-proclaimed “mastermind” of subtext.

Saying so long to the country darling we once knew, 1989 marked Swift’s entry squarely into the pop arena. We heard inklings of this in Red two years prior, but this time, the shift in sound was unmistakable: Swift was charting a path toward a kind of pop stardom where her music was going to become ubiquitous and permeable—heard in your bedroom, your mom’s car, or even on the dance floor.

In many ways, this album was meant to be a light-hearted pop forward soundtrack to Swift’s life. “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space” were devil-may-care responses to the media circus and Swift’s romantic throes while “Welcome to New York” was a gleeful proclamation of young adulthood and finding one’s footing in a world that is electric and full of possibility. Even the most pointed of songs, “Bad Blood,” still feels coy and playful. But as any Swiftie knows, you can never have fun without the pain. And that’s where “All You Had To Do Was Stay” plays its critical role.

Perhaps that’s part of the brilliance of 1989, but also of Swift’s mastery. Behind the pulsing synths, drum pads, and processed backing vocals, lyrically, the story she’s trying to tell is just as vulnerable, relatable, and cutting. “People like you always want back the love they pushed aside. But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye”—a line that lands with a sinister calm before an explosive “stay!” carries us into the chorus. There, with brutal honesty, Swift battles how complicated breakups can be: how you might hate someone and still want them back. How people inflict their deepest wounds on each other despite their best intentions. And how you can dance through the sadness and feel release—from that person and sometimes, even, from yourself.

Catharsis comes in many forms and from places where you’d least expect. Sometimes it’s tender and quiet. But it can also be loud and raise hell. With “All You Had To Do Was Stay,” Swift made clear that catharsis in the form of the latter was OK—that loudness and spectacle is OK. The song’s drama, sharp storytelling, and dreamlike quality are unmistakably Swiftian. At the same time, it shows the beauty of how pop music works: How weird and crazy sounds and your most embarrassing stories and dreams can be operatic and accessible. If only you give yourself enough room to lean into it and dance.

#taylor swift #1989 tv

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merrybloomwrites · 1 year

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You Can Start a Family (Chapter 6)

Summary:

The trio spends a weekend together before parting ways when tour picks back up.

Mitch and Sarah have a special surprise for Y/N.

Previous Chapters: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five

TW for this chapter: More smut!

The group takes a trip away and this is the cottage I based their Aribnb on.

Hope you enjoy!

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For the rest of the week, you only work mornings. Ryan’s mom is still off from work for spring break, and she uses the mornings to catch up on things around the house and other tasks before sending you home around lunchtime so she can have more one-on-one time with her son. You definitely don’t mind. As much as you love the little boy, you’re ecstatic to spend as much time with Mitch and Sarah as possible.

They’re back to spending almost all of their time in the studio. Mitch had written more than you realized, and he got a recording band together to create an album. You stop by each afternoon for a little while to watch, but don’t want to distract or get in the way. You’re so excited for him, knowing how big a deal it is to create a solo record. Any time he starts to second guess himself, you remind him how many people will support him and love his music.

You have dinner at the Rowland’s Thursday night, and the three of you have to constantly remind yourselves that you cannot be obvious about your relationship. You know keeping it a secret is the best option for now. Maybe someday you could let their families in, but it’s way too soon to even consider that.

You try not to feel a twinge of sadness when Mitch and Sarah hold hands or share a small kiss. You won’t lie to yourself; you always looked forward to being in a relationship where you could do that too. You’re grateful to be with them but you realize this is one of those difficulties you guys had mentioned the other night.

After awhile you notice that it’s getting pretty late, so you get up to head home. You had been hoping to maybe get a good night kiss, but the whole family walks you to the door and you settle for a quick hug from everyone. Sarah does sneak in a quick peck to the side of your head during her hug, and that alone raises your mood.

That weekend you don’t get to see Mitch and Sarah, as you had previously agreed to babysit for another family in your building while the parents were away at a wedding.

The next two weeks, everyone is in full swing with their jobs. You’re back to full time nannying, and Mitch’s album is coming together nicely thanks to the long hours at the studio. You still make time for each other, spending one dinner a week at Mitch’s house, and one dinner a week at your apartment.

You all block off the last weekend in April to spend together. It works out wonderfully for everyone, as you only need to work a half day that Friday, and Mitch’s album is already fully recorded and only needs some final touches before it’s totally done.

Earlier that week, Mitch and Sarah surprised you by letting you know they’d rented a small cottage in a quaint town about an hour away. The second you’re done working on Friday you run home to grab your bag and check on the cats, setting out plenty of food and water for the weekend.

You drive back to pick up Mitch and Sarah and they walk out to your car right as you pull up. Mitch walks to the driver’s side and you roll down your window, curious why they didn’t just get in.

“I’m driving, kid,” Mitch says to you.

“What, don’t trust my skills?”

“I just want you to enjoy the scenery on the way.” You can’t help but smile at how thoughtful that is and relinquish all driving responsibility to him. You decide to give Sarah shotgun and hop into the back seat.

You do enjoy the scenery, but more so, you enjoy not having to drive for once. You’ve had to completely rely on yourself for everything for so long that you forgot what it was like to have someone else take over. You make sure to uphold road trip tradition and point out every cow and horse you see during the journey.

After an hour Mitch pulls off the main road onto a long gravel driveway lined by trees. It takes a minute before the cottage comes into view, and you’re immediately in love with how adorable it is.

Mitch opens your door and gives you a hand out of the car like a true gentleman as Sarah unlocks the cottage. You grab your bag and the cooler and head inside. It’s adorably small. There’s one main space that has the living room, kitchen, and a small dining area. There are two doors off the living room, one that leads to the bedroom and the other to the bathroom. In the bedroom is a ladder that goes up to a cozy loft, full of soft cushions, pillows, and blankets. Off of the kitchen is a door that leads out back, and you’re excited when you peek outside and see a hot tub.

Mitch and Sarah watch as you run around exploring, practically bouncing off the walls.

You run up to the two of them and wrap them in a group hug saying, “Thank you so much for planning this!”

“Of course, love,” Sarah replies. “Figured we could all use a weekend away.”

She starts unpacking all the food and you go to help but Mitch grabs you from behind, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you close to him. “Nuh-uh, no work for you. Just let us handle it all.” Your smile grows even wider at this.

A few minutes later everything is where it should be, and they lead you outside.

“So, there is another surprise for you,” Sarah says. Your eyes light up as you follow her down another path on the property. The walk takes a couple of minutes, but you soon see what the surprise is, and it takes everything in you not to run ahead immediately.

At the end of the path, you see a fenced in area that contains sheep, goats, and chickens. As a huge animal lover, this is truly a dream come true.

“Can we pet them?” You ask.

“Absolutely. We can even go in with them, and there’s some food over in the barn we can give them,” Sarah answers. You can’t contain your joy anymore and lean to press a kiss to her lips before running to the fence to pet the animals. They join you and you spend the afternoon playing with the animals and exploring the trails in the nearby woods.

Only when you all start to feel hungry do you head back to the cottage. In the kitchen Sarah starts making dinner and you go to assist her when Mitch once again holds you back. He lifts you and sets you on the counter and hands you a glass of wine before he starts to chop vegetables.

You watch and are purely content in that moment. You sit there, taking it all in. You watch the couple who continually take care of you in so many different ways, who know exactly how to make you happy, and for the first time in years, you feel like you can take a deep breath and shut your brain off and simply enjoy life.

That all changes with one phone call.

The music you’re listening to gets cut off when Mitch’s phone begins to ring. He looks at the screen before answering with a “Hey man, what’s up?”

He listens for a second before saying, “Yea, gimme a second and I’ll check.” He pulls the phone away from his ear so he can open another app.

“Who is it?” Sarah asks.

“Harry, he’s checking if we got the final email about tour. Oh, here it is.” He pauses to read the email before putting the phone back to his ear and saying, “Yea we have it. Our flight leaves next Saturday afternoon, so we’ll get in early Sunday.” He pauses again before answering, “Yes we have the hotel info and rehearsal schedule too.”

Your mood immediately drops when you realize they’ll be leaving in a week. Leaving for nearly 3 full months. You knew they were going back on tour, knew it was coming up, but somehow hadn’t realized it would be so soon. You hadn’t let yourself think about the fact that you would have to go so long without seeing them.

You quickly push down your emotions, trying to make sure that neither of them notice your change in mood. It works for a while.

It isn’t until partway through dinner that they realize you’re much quieter than usual. They don’t question you right away but share worried and confused looks with each other.

After everyone is done eating Sarah turns to you and says, “Why don’t you change into a bathing suit and get the hot tub going while we finish in here?” You feel slightly paranoid, like she’s trying to get rid of you, but figure you’re probably just being oversensitive because you’re upset. While you’re doing what she suggests, Mitch and Sarah have a hushed conversation as they clean up dinner.

“Does Y/N seem off to you?” Mitch asks.

“Yea, she was strangely quiet during dinner. I’m a bit worried that something’s wrong.”

“Do we ask her or wait until she brings it up?”

“I guess we can give her some more time and see if she says something. Maybe remind her she can tell us anything, that we’re here for her.”

You walk back into the kitchen, now dressed in your bathing suit and cover up, carrying a stack of towels. Mitch and Sarah both turn to you with soft smiles, and you stop to kiss each of them.

While changing you had decided that you’d make the most of the time you have with them instead of dwelling on how soon they’d be leaving. You were still in a bit of a sad mood but don’t want to ruin the weekend.

You head out the back door and go over to the hot tub, looking at the dials to figure out how to get the bubbles going. Once you turn it on you take off your cover up and slide in the water.

A few minutes later they join you, just in time to enjoy the beautiful sunset. They sit on either side of you, and you rest your head on Sarah’s shoulder and reach out to hold Mitch’s hand. For awhile it’s quiet, just the sounds of the bubbling water and the birds chirping as they settle in a nearby tree for the night.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sarah questions after a long period of silence. You thought you had been hiding your feelings well, but it seems she knows you better than you thought.

“Nothing’s wrong,” You reply, still trying to keep your sadness a secret.

“Y/N, you can tell us what it is,” Mitch continues.

You pause, taking a deep breath before answering. “I guess I just didn’t realize that you were going to be leaving next week. It kinda caught me off guard. I’m just gonna miss you guys.” You finish speaking and tuck your face more into Sarah’s neck.

Her hand comes up to the side of your head and you immediately feel comforted by her touch. Mitch turns towards you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He looks at Sarah over your head and sees her eyes swimming with tears.

“I’m gonna miss you too, babe. So, so much.” You hear the emotion in Sarah’s voice and lift your head to look at her. When you too notice her tears you pull her to straddle your lap, needing to have her as close as possible. Your arms wrap tightly around her waist as hers wrap around your neck.

It’s her turn to tuck her face in your shoulder, and you feel more than hear when she lets out a sob. One of your hands travels to her head, holding her close. You hadn’t realized that the upcoming separation might be affecting them as much as it was affecting you. For years it had just been the two of them, and you figured they would be okay together. The fact that leaving you behind was hurting them as much as it was you made you realize how important you are to them. It also made you realize you aren’t the only one struggling.

Mitch keeps one hand on your side and moves his other to Sarah’s back, rubbing comforting circles. He places a kiss to your head saying, “I’m really going to miss you too.”

“I’ve gotten so used to being alone, good at it actually. I forgot what it’s like to have people around that I care about. I hate good-byes, even if they are temporary.”

Sarah murmurs into your neck. “What was that?” you ask her.

She lifts her head to look in your eyes and says, “I won’t say goodbye. Because it won’t be goodbye. We’ll never say goodbye to you, only see you soon. Okay?” You blink the tears out of your eyes and whisper okay in response.

She surges forward connecting her lips to yours. This isn’t a kiss that will lead to more, but rather one that is full of emotion. Your lips are crushed together, and you can feel the unspoken words that no one knows how to say.

After a few minutes you break apart and lock eyes for a moment. You turn your head and Mitch leans in, kissing you gently before he does the same to Sarah. The three of you get lost in one another, exchanging kisses, hands roaming over bare skin. The water is the perfect temperature, and the clear sky is filled with more stars than you’ve ever seen before.

You let out a deep breath and a smile spreads on your face. Mitch and Sarah notice and pick up on your change in mood, enjoying this peaceful moment together. It isn’t until a little later when Sarah starts to nod off on your shoulder that you all decide to head inside to go to sleep.

The first to change and fall into bed is Sarah, who is immediately knocked out directly in the middle. You and Mitch share a fond look when you notice and then slide in on either side of her. She shifts to lay her head on your chest and Mitch spoons her from behind, his hand reaching to hold on to yours. He falls asleep quickly, and you stay up for a bit thinking about all the time you’ve spent with the pair over the past months.

You can’t deny how happy they make you, and you definitely can’t deny the feelings you’ve developed. What started as minor crushes has become so much more. You’ve never been in love before, but you imagine this must be what it feels like. You watch them sleep, relishing the moments where Sarah snuggles in closer, or when Mitch unconsciously tightens his grip on your hand.

The next thing you know it’s morning, and you’re waking up to a murmured conversation beside you. You shift until you’ve placed yourself in between the other two, demanding cuddles. It’s a slow start to the day, lazing in bed for a while before Sarah informs you that she made reservations at a nearby spa for you all.

Everyone eats a quick breakfast and gets ready for the day. The spa is absolutely wonderful. It’s been forever since you’ve gotten a massage and it feels heavenly. Next you go to an art studio to do a Paint and Sip, following the instructor to each create a summer beach scene. Everyone tries to sneak peaks of each other’s work but you all keep it a secret until the end.

Painting has never really been your thing, always preferring performing arts over visual arts. At the end of the session, you’re happy to see that is something the three of you share. You all keep your commentary to yourselves, thanking the instructor for a lovely afternoon. Once in the car though, none of you can hold back your laughter at how truly awful all your paintings turned out.

You’re all in a silly mood that continues for the rest of the day. Back at the cottage, bottles of wine are opened and shared while you teach them an absurd card game you and your cousin made up when you were children.

Thirty minutes in Mitch finally gives up, shouting, “I just don’t understand how the 4 and the 3 add up to 11!” You crack up at his outburst, laughing so hard that tears are streaming down your face.

He pouts playfully before walking in the kitchen claiming it’s time to make dinner. The three of you dance around the kitchen while putting toppings on your individual pizza crusts. While they’re baking you treat Mitch and Sarah to a one-woman Broadway review, belting your favorite songs and putting on a full performance. Sarah does join you for ‘Take Me or Leave Me’ from Rent, as Mitch sneakily records the duet.

The timer beeps alerting you that the pizzas are done, and you suddenly ask, “Can we eat in the loft?”

“There’s no furniture in the loft,” Mitch replies very matter-of-factly.

“There’s cushions on the floor.”

“You want to eat on the floor?”

“The floor is superior to furniture.”

There’s a moment of amused silence before Mitch answers, “Sure, kid, whatever you want.”

It’s not exactly easy to get all the food and drinks up to the loft, seeing as it’s a ladder instead of stairs, but you manage. A few minutes in, you move to sit in Mitch’s lap, making yourself very comfortable. “Oh, so you just wanted me to be your furniture?”

“You’re very comfy,” you say before twisting to peck his lips. He wraps one arm around you, and you all continue eating dinner. Once everyone is done eating you pop up to take the plates to the kitchen, happy that it’s an incredibly easy clean up. You open a second bottle of white wine and bring it back to the loft to refill your and Sarah’s glasses, noting that Mitch is still working on his bottle of red.

You plop yourself back in Mitch’s lap, settling in deeper than before, and smirk when you hear him let out a quiet groan in your ear. You look back so he sees your teasing look and he wraps his arms around you. He quickly picks up on your game and decides to play along. He starts by running his fingers up and down your inner thighs, slowly inching higher under your loose shorts. You grind back onto him, and think you’ve gained the upper hand when you feel him lean down to bite at your shoulder in order to hold back another groan.

Sarah slides closer. Your eyes meet hers and you notice the mischievous glint. She slides Mitch’s hair out of the way and begins to kiss and bite at his neck. You think she’s on your side, helping you rile him up, until she quickly moves her hand to slide inside your shorts and rub against your clit. You gasp at the sudden onslaught of pleasure and realize she’s not on anyone’s side. It’s every man for themselves, and she’s just defeated both of you.

She continues to rub circles on your sensitive nub and says, “I want both of you downstairs, on the bed, clothes off.” You shiver at the sensual and commanding tone of her voice and try to do as she says, but both your brain and legs have turned to jelly. Noticing this, she helps you stand, and Mitch goes down the ladder first, keeping a hand on your waist to steady you as you climb down into the bedroom.

You watch for a moment as he takes off his clothes before doing the same. You glance up and see Sarah watching you both from the top of the ladder, and quickly move to sit in the bed as she had instructed. Mitch sits beside you, a grounding hand placed on your thigh, and Sarah comes down into the room. She slowly removes her clothing, and you watch intently, simply amazed by the gorgeous woman in front of you.

Since you and Mitch are seated against the headboard with your legs stretched out, Sarah is able to straddle one leg over each of you. She leans in to kiss Mitch first, and you watch as their tongues move together. It’s an erotic sight, and you go to clench your legs together to relieve some of the tension in your core, but Sarah’s leg in between yours blocks you from doing so.

She notices what you’re trying to do, and switches to start kissing you. Your eyes roll back at the first swipe of her tongue against yours, and she swallows the whines that escape your lips. Your hands immediately find her, one resting on her hip and the other reaching to grab at her breast.

You get lost in the pure bliss of making out with her, and whimper when she pulls away. You try to chase her mouth with yours, but she places her finger on your lips to stop you. In an almost unconscious gesture, you open your mouth to suck on her finger. She and Mitch groan in unison, not expecting that move from you, and you feel Sarah rub against your thigh.

She regains her composure and says, “Y/N, I want you to sit on Mitch’s face while I ride him. Does that sound good to everyone?”

You immediately nod your head yes. You’re no longer nervous about trying something new, purely excited at the thought of all three of you feeling pleasure at the same time. You do need some help maneuvering into position, but soon you’re hovering over Mitch’s mouth facing Sarah. You feel his hands on your thighs, encouraging you to sit down on his face, but you hold back until you see Sarah sink down on his cock.

You watch as they come together and then you lean in to kiss the milky skin of Sarah’s throat. Mitch groans beneath you and pulls harder, so you go where he leads you. At the first swipe of his tongue on your center you cry out and your hands go to Sarah’s legs to steady yourself.

She pulls your face up and you make eye contact before you’re too overwhelmed to even keep your eyes open. You feel her pull you in for a sloppy kiss and let her tongue take control of your mouth. You follow her as she moves up and down over Mitch, and his mouth quickly brings you to immense pleasure as your orgasm crashes over you. You pant into Sarah’s mouth and both of their hands roam your body as you ride the waves of your high.

You move off to the side, oversensitive and needing a moment to collect yourself. You take a few deep breaths before swiping your thumb through the wetness left on Mitch’s face and using that finger to circle Sarah’s clit. After another minute you get to once again watch her fall apart so beautifully, her sounds of pleasure music to your years.

She pulls off of Mitch and lays on your other side. You run your hands along her torso, easing her down from her high. After a minute, Mitch moves to pull you on top of him. You’re straddling his still hard cock, and you understand what he’s asking. A new wave of arousal rushes through your body at the thought and you move to line yourself up over him before Sarah pushes you back.

You look at her, confused and nervous that maybe you overstepped somehow, but Mitch seems to understand why she made you pause. He leans over the side of the bed, and you’re almost thrown off him with how quickly he moves. You watch as he grabs something from his bag on the floor and immediately understand what the delay is about.

Once the condom is in place, Mitch is moving you back into position over him. You slowly sink down on his cock, feeling as he once again stretches you out. Maybe it’s due to the position, or the fact that you’re still so pliant from your first orgasm, but there’s no discomfort at all this time, only pure bliss.

Once you are flush to him, you lean forward to capture his mouth with yours and move your hips in a way that feels natural. It doesn’t take long for that familiar tingle to build in your stomach, and you know Mitch is already close. He grips your hips, taking over thrusting into you until you’re both cumming together.

You both breathe deeply as you recover from such intense satisfaction. You’ve never felt anything like the two back-to-back orgasms you just experienced, and you’re overwhelmed by the feeling. You lay with Mitch still inside you for a minute, enjoying the feeling of being full, and of being so close to him. You know it’s not just a physical moment of intimacy that you’re sharing, but an emotional one as well.

They seem to pick up on your desire in that moment, and both spend a few minutes running their hands soothingly on your back until you’re ready to pull off of him. Once you do, you immediately latch on to Sarah, who wraps her arms around you and continues to rub your back while quietly telling you how well you did, how proud they are of you.

This time you’re so out of it that don’t even notice Mitch leave, just that he’s back a minute later with a damp cloth to clean up both you and Sarah. You sigh at his gentle touch and sink further into Sarah’s embrace. He once again grabs some clothes and tosses them on the bed, but you ignore them, choosing instead to just climb under the covers. They follow your lead and do the same, cuddling you from either side. You fall asleep to the feeling of their caresses on your skin and the sound of their praises in your ears.

The next morning you wake up to the feeling of two naked bodies wrapped around yours, and it only takes seconds for your brain to conjure up memories of the night before. You feel content, happy, loved.

You relax into the feeling of Mitch and Sarah against you. It’s another slow morning, you all exchange lazy kisses and gentle caresses until you finally leave the bed.

After breakfast you go back to the field with the animals, spending time playing with them before you need to head back to pack up and check out.

You all clean up and load the car. Sarah announces she’ll be driving to the next location, and you’re excited to see what they have in store for the day. You start laughing when she pulls into the parking lot for minigolf, but it ends up being a fun outing. You feel nostalgic throughout, remembering the times you used to do this activity on vacations with your family.

The next stop is horseback riding, something you haven’t done in years. You connect with your horse, Stardust, and love the whole trail ride, especially when you’re all allowed to move at a trot and you can feel the rush of the wind in your hair.

You then stop at a market nearby for some snacks before making the drive back home. Mitch takes over driving again and you fall asleep shortly after beginning the journey, exhausted from the weekend. They drive to your apartment, Mitch once again carrying you inside while you remain sleeping.

He places you in your bed, and your cats immediately join, cuddling up beside you. Mitch and Sarah are both disappointed that their spots next to you have been taken but smile when you subconsciously reach out to rest your hands on your pets. They can hear the cats purring from across the room and it’s easy for them to see the deep connection you all have. It brings them peace to know that you'll have companions even when they're not there.

It doesn’t take long for you to wake up and you find Mitch and Sarah sitting on your couch. Obviously you immediately lay down across their laps and make yourself comfortable. For awhile you all just relax, absently watching the movie they put on.

Once it ends you sit up and ask if they need a ride home. You don’t want them to leave but know that it’s inevitable, and it is getting late in the day.

“My dad will come pick us up in a little while,” Mitch answers. You nod and hold on to each of their hands, enjoying the last few moments of uninterrupted quality time. Once Mitch’s receives a text that his dad is on the way you realize there’s only a few minutes left. You lean to Sarah to share a passionate kiss before turning to share the same with Mitch. You need that closeness before you can let them leave.

“We’ll plan another night together before we leave for tour, alright love?” Sarah says. You nod and pull them both into another hug. You let go when Mitch’s phone buzzes again. You know his dad is there and the weekend is about to end. You press one more firm kiss to each of their lips before they pick up their bags and head out the door.

For a moment you just stand there in your quiet apartment, at a loss now that you’re alone. It only takes a minute before your cats are demanding attention and you’re grateful for their distraction. You do your normal Sunday night routine, setting out anything you’d need for work that week and taking a shower before getting into bed.

*****

On Tuesday night you go to the Rowland’s house for dinner. It’s the last one you’ll all have together before tour starts and you’re determined to enjoy it. You leave Ryan’s house at 5:00 and immediately go across the street to spend as much time with the family as possible.

Dinner is a group effort, and you’re tasked with making the salad. Chopping the vegetables is calming to you and you get lost in the rhythm of it. Once dinner is ready you all sit around the dining room table. You can tell you’re not the only one sad that Mitch and Sarah will be leaving soon. Mitch’s parents are definitely clinging to him more than they have over the past weeks.

You stay later than you normally would on a weeknight, wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. Mark and Tammy head up to bed, but still you hang around. You’re on the couch with Mitch and Sarah when they pull out an envelope and hand it to you.

“What is this?” you ask, a confused expression on your face.

“It’s a surprise. Open it!” Sarah replies. You glance at both of them and see how excited they look.

You immediately open the envelope and read through the pages inside. There’s plane tickets, hotel and transportation details, passes to shows.

“What is this?” you ask again, unable to make sense of what you’re seeing.

“You’re going to be joining us for two weeks of Love on Tour,” Mitch answers.

“No way!”

“Yes way! Sarah beams.

“How is this possible? What about work?”

“We already talked to Ryan’s parents. His mom finishes her school year on June 9 and doesn’t start summer school for a couple weeks so she’s giving you some time off. Your flight leaves on the 9th so you’ll be able to come for Slane Castle and Wembly and the following week of shows.”

“This is unbelievable. I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much!” You turn and give each of them a quick kiss, unable to control the smile on your face.

“We couldn’t go 3 months without you,” Mitch says, “and we knew you’d enjoy coming to the shows, so it just made sense.”

“This is truly the best surprise ever! Oh my gosh I’m so excited! I’ll get to meet everyone! Harry and Elin and oh my goodness-” you cut yourself off, once again speechless at the opportunity you’ve been given.

Mitch and Sarah watch you like parents on Christmas morning, elated at the pure joy they’ve given you. They start to tell you all about their plans for your time together in Europe and you grow more and more excited.

After a while you decide it really is time to get home and reluctantly say goodnight. You’re able to share kisses with them at the door, and drive home with a new sense of joy knowing that you’ll only have to go a few weeks without seeing Mitch and Sarah as opposed to three months.

You see them every day that week, even if it’s just for a little while. They stay with you Friday night, the plan being that Mitch’s parents will pick them up to have lunch with them before taking them to the airport Saturday afternoon.

It’s a laid back night, the three of you just wanting to spend time together. You order food and play movies in the background while talking about anything and everything you can think of. You head to your bed and spend time exploring each other’s bodies, connecting repeatedly in such a physical and visceral way that leaves you feeling closer to them than ever.

You refuse to open your eyes Saturday morning, knowing that you’ll soon have to say good-bye to them. You try not to let your emotions get the best of you, but you know you’ve failed when you feel Sarah wipe away the tears that have escaped your eyes.

All too soon Mitch gets a text that his parents are on the way to pick them up. You don’t even try anymore, letting your tears fall freely as you clutch on to both of them as tightly as possible. They rub your back and place kisses on your head until you’ve calmed down enough to even out your breathing.

You hear Mitch’s phone buzz again and know that it’s time for them to leave. You choke back a sob and turn to kiss Mitch through your tears.

“We’ll see you in a couple of weeks, okay baby?” he says. “We’ll call, and Facetime as much as we possibly can.” He holds you tightly for another moment before allowing Sarah to pull you to her.

You’re both sniffling as you cling to one another. “We’ll see you soon love,” she whispers into your ear. All you can do is nod, too choked up to speak. You kiss her, then Mitch, hug each of them one more time, and then lock the door behind them as they leave.

You stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. You truly don’t know how long you remain immobile, only moving once your cat rubs against your legs. You sit on the floor petting him as tears stream down your face. Finally, you take a deep breath, get off the floor, and start your normal weekend routine.

It’s a rough few weeks without Mitch and Sarah, but you’ve spent plenty of time alone before and fall back into that mindset. You keep as busy as possible, and love sending them updates about your day or getting to Facetime with them. You watch as many livestreams of shows as you can, focusing on Mitch and Sarah whenever they’re on screen.

You also continue to visit Mark and Tammy, having dinner with them at least once a week. You realize they’ve kind of adopted you at that point and this thought brings you a sense of comfort. You also get to see old videos and pictures of Mitch and learn all about him as a little kid which brings you joy.

Sometimes you visit them with Ryan, knowing how much Tammy loves to be around the little one. What you don’t realize is that she takes videos of you two and sends them to Mitch and Sarah.

Before you know it, it’s Thursday, June 8. All you have is one day of work, a long flight and a couple hour drive, and you’ll be reunited with Mitch and Sarah. You cannot wait.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N: Thank you so much for reading! If there's any specific scenarios you'd like to see with this dynamic, let me know! Next chapter will see Y/N reuniting with Mitch and Sarah at Love on Tour and finally meeting Harry!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby

Comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

#harry styles x reader #mitch rowland x reader #mitch rowland x sarah jones x reader #sarah jones x reader #mitch rowland x harry styles #sarah jones x mitch rowland x reader

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hyuuukais · 5 months

Text

.・゜-: ✧ :- FICTIONAL REALITY .・゜-: ✧ :-

pairing • bang chan x fem reader

synopsis • fiction or reality? y/n preferred the former, escaping into another world, escaping her problems. so what happens when reality takes that away from her; wiping her own story-in-progress off both her laptop and beloved usb? and what happens when she opens the door in the middle of a crisis to none other then the love interest of her novel... and he's holding her usb?

warnings • general, memories of y/n's past abusive relationship brought up

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER FIFTEEN • WATER LILIES (1.8k)

You scramble away from your phone, stumbling upward. Around you is a world you've long since forgotten, or at least, one you've shoved back enough to ignore. The apartment is modest in size, a one-bed, one-bath, colours exploding all over the place.

Closest to you is the living room, which you carefully step into. Every step is with caution, daring something to step out of the shadows. Cold moonlight seeps into the room through thin curtains blowing in the slight breeze an open window allows, painting the room in a blue hue. A framed painting hangs above the red chaise lounge, one-of-a-kind by yours truly. Before it captured two hands clasped together, a symbol of love, but now it shows a hand holding a pair of scissors and another, a red string to match the couch.

Lying open on the small, square coffee table is an album you remember making in commemoration of your six-month anniversary, all photos from the monthly dates Yeonjun would take you on and one thing you loved about him next to each photo. You thought he would love it, the thought, the dedication.

He was furious. It was the first time he had raised his voice at you, about how much he had spent on the diamond necklace for you, how you had given him a scrapbook in return. Yeji had let you stay at her house that night, endless tears spilling from your eyes. She never pressured you to tell her what happened, nothing more than understanding you'd had a fight and needed to get out.

The next morning he showed up with flowers and an apology, promising he loved your gift and he was just stressed from work. Never in his life would he want to hurt you.

Never, with the exception of stressful nights and small mistakes.

For the next six months, tension grew between you two. You never knew how he'd react anymore, scared to do something that would make him snap. So you played your part, the dutiful girlfriend, and said what he wanted to hear, did what he wanted you to, wore the clothes he picked, ate the food he bought.

On the wall opposite the sofa is supposed to be your TV, but hanging there instead is a collage of photos, each from a month in your relationship. You can barely look, watching yourself deteriorate in real time. How did no one notice?

Or did they, and they said nothing?

Dark circles under your eyes and a faded smile, weariness personified. Two years in, you wince. There's no smile in this one, just you and him sitting across from each other at the dining room table with a laptop in between. You remember that night clearly, the way he calmly stood up after confronting you about the man you were writing about, convinced he was a real person and that you were cheating. You remember him picking up the laptop and walking over to the edge of the table closest to you, raising it above his head.

For a moment, you thought he would use it against you. But then came the sound of electronics hitting hard wood and you flinched, splinters and sparks flying in every direction. One good hit was all it took, the laptop beyond repair, your story lost.

Tears welled in your eyes, both then and now. The little comfort of escapism you had gone, along with your growing passion for writing. He killed those parts of you, the pieces of love and creativity, creating a shell of a human in your place. You didn't try writing again until after you left.

Where there should be a photo of you in your wedding dress is a blank frame. You're about to turn away when you spot it, a paper tucked underneath.

Carefully, you lift the frame off the wall. The paper is partially tucked inside, hidden in the front by a piece of thin cardboard. You sit on the sofa, unfolding the note.

Meet me at midnight, water lily.

Breathing becomes hard for you. Only one person calls you water lily, and you know exactly where to find him.

Throwing on a coat, you leave the apartment, not caring enough to explore more. Midnight, thirty minutes away. Could you make it there in time? What if you had gotten the location wrong? But where else would he mean?

You arrive with two minutes to spare, looking out at the stars reflecting in the river. The city across from you was alive with lights and sound, but here was quiet, the perfect place to paint.

The clock strikes twelve.

At ten after, you start to doubt the message. Maybe it had been there much longer than you have been, intended to be seen by you earlier. The sound of a car rumbling drifts into your mind and you're partially convinced it's your imagination until the doors slam shut.

"Water lily?"

Spinning around, you see two figures descending down the small hill from the parking lot down to the rocky beach-like area you stand on. His hair is longer than you remember it being, half pulled back into a small ponytail. Before you know it, he's engulfing you in a tight hug.

"Where the hell have you been?"

For a moment you wonder how he knows about you leaving considering you're back in time and haven't left yet, but then you remember.

"Oh, um." You struggle to talk into his chest. "Pre-wedding nerves got to me and I went on a spontaneous trip back home for the week."

Not true and he knew it, pulling back to look at you with confusion.

"But you don't talk to your parents?"

"I thought I'd tell them about the wedding," you say quickly. "They deserve to know their only kid is getting married. They aren't coming, but still."

"Of course, they aren't," someone behind your hugging figures scoffs.

You look around to see your best friend standing there and can't help the smile that breaks across your face. Seeing her here, unharmed, still intact, it's reassuring.

"Fuck 'em." Hyunjin finally pulls away completely.

"Yeah, what he said."

Yeji comes to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Now that she's closer, you spot a sliver of a scar running down just below her eye and down to her jaw, extending right underneath. That's new.

"We have a lot to tell you, and not much time." Hyunjin looks around the empty beach as if expecting others to join. "We should go."

"Did Minho say-"

"Minho?" You blurt. "He's here too?"

Yeji glances over to Hyunjin, eyes unreadable. You swear the two have a secret language only they can understand.

"Like I said," Hyunjin sighs. "We have a lot to tell you. Now, did he say his place or ours?"

"Not ours," Yeji says sharply. "He knows where to find us. He doesn't know Minho is back too."

"He..." your breathing picks up. "As in...?"

"Yes." She looks down briefly, then back at you with soft eyes. "Yeonjun. We think he's behind all of this."

A vibration in your pocket catches your attention; your phone. How did it get there? Didn't you leave it at home?

Better hurry, it reads. Foxes get hungry.

"Jeongin?" Chan shakes his arm.

Since he went into the other realm, no one's come into your room. No doctors, no nurses, no other visitors, nobody. Looking outside, the lights in the hall have dimmed immensely making it hard to see down the hallway. Chan dared to open the door, staring into the darkness with an eerie feeling creeping up on him. He didn't leave the room, just sat back down and waited.

And now he's here, seemingly alone with anxiety gnawing at his very soul, not knowing what's happening to you or Jeongin or Minho. Although he doesn't know Minho as well, leaving him unprotected felt wrong. He shouldn't be alone with all this uncertainty in the air.

A door slamming somewhere down the hall alerts Chan in his near sleeping state. No activity for the past hour, but now he hears running. He's quick to leap up and close the blinds, turning your lights off completely so as to not show life in this room. There aren't any weapons to defend you, only a lone abandoned scalpel on the nightstand left by a nurse from earlier. The footsteps stop right outside the door.

"Let me in," a voice Chan doesn't recognize calls out. "I know she's in there. You can make this easy for yourself and everyone else."

Chan can't breathe, back settled on the door and scalpel held tightly against his chest. All he can hear is his heartbeat, fast and uneven.

"Do me a favour and look at her, really look at her." For some reason, Chan obeys. "She isn't the perfect soulmate you think she is. The one you think she should be."

This, this is what insults Chan. Why would he think of you that way? Why would he hold you to an unrealistic standard? He understands you have flaws and won't be "perfect" all the time. You're human. He's learned a lot from you. How could he ever be mad at you for that?

The door opens aggressively, knocking Chan stumbling forward. Scalpel in hand, he turns toward the intruder walking through the door. At first, he doesn't recognize him, but the who he is becomes obvious. Who else would be trying to get into your hospital room?

"How did you find her?" Chan asks through gritted teeth.

"Simple," Yeonjun laughs. "I'll always find her."

"Why'd it take so long then?" Chan moves into the space between your bed and the intruder, trying to buy time. "It's been what, a year?"

"A year and a half." Yeonjun looks annoyed, leaning against the doorframe. "Not that it matters, I still got here."

"Did you though?"

As the conversation continues, Chan notices the way Yeonjun's body doesn't quite hit the doorframe or the way his voice sounds more distant than it should be. Somehow he's here, but he's not here.

"Does he know he's not real either?" Yeonjun turns the focus onto Jeongin, who still sits next to you with his head down on the bed. "None of this is?"

"No," Chan starts, shaking his head. "I'm the only one who's not supposed to exist. He wasn't apart of her story-"

"There's a lot you don't know yet." Yeonjun strides up to Chan, looking down at him with dark eyes. "Maybe I should leave you to figure it out, or maybe I should end this all now."

Chan strikes quickly, but the scalpel doesn't pierce. Instead, he stumbles through a fog and turns around to see Yeonjun's back. He barely catches himself, standing up straight as Yeonjun just watches your unmoving body. Chan goes to strike again, knowing it won't do anything, but at least he'll be back between your bodies.

His leg goes numb and he falls to the ground. The scalpel rolls out of where his hand should be, emptiness found in place of an arm.

●

notes • enjoy the first hiatus chapter lol

taglist • @yongbbokkie @chaeryred @tenebrisirae @toplinelix @chansdoll @amaranth-writing @3rachachoo @linosjureumi @thebrownemo @tfshouldidohere @channie-143 @frogieeheart @kangaracharacha @skzswife @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad

TAGLIST CLOSED ^^^blue means i can't tag you

#.・゜-: ✧ :- FICTIONAL REALITY .・゜-: ✧ :-#bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan x fem reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz #stray kids #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #bang chan fanfic #bang chan series #skz series

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beybaldes · 1 year

Text

yesterday once more

Eddie Roundtree × Fem!Reader

djats masterlist

word count: 2.4k

request! : Okay I'm doing my fourth rewatch of fleabag and the confession between her and the priest is the holy grail of angstiness. So something along those lines. "awfully right person, terribly wrong time" They deeply love each other but won't end up together, a very bittersweet ending. It could be because he leaves the band or even some other third force that will come into action. Take what you need, you'll do a great job anyway!!

thank you for the request @thefemininemystiquee I hope you enjoy <3

a/n I wrote this and then realised you could've meant confession like in the confessional scene or 'I love you' 'it'll pass' - this is heavily based on the latter but if you want one based off the scene in the confessional I'd love to write it !!!

Warning!! I have not read the book or the show!!! All info I have gathered has been from other x readers I have read. sorry in advance if I have butchered vour fav show/book because I have plainly made shit up in favour of satiating my own need for more Eddie fics xoxo

"I'm not in love with you anymore, Eddie."

A beat of silence. Eddie's tear-filled eyes met your own, a frown etched deeply onto his lips. You looked heartbroken by the words you'd just spoke, completely devastated, as if saying it had created a reality you never wanted to occur.

It wasn't that you weren't in love with him, he knew that, it was that you weren't going to let yourself be any longer. You'd spent too many years dancing around each other and you'd had enough; you'd never dare ask Eddie if he returned the sentiment in fear of breaking your own heart. You'd never have guessed that that was what would cause your heart to break.

How many times had you almost kissed? How many times had you danced around your room late at night, your favourite record playing as you became one in the moonlight? How many times had he pushed his hook ups right back out of the door at your appearance? How many times had you slept in the same bed together, cuddling throughout the night and staring silently at the other in the early morning light in hopes of studying every detail of their face before they woke up?

If only you'd have said something sooner, rather then revealing your love for the blonde by denying it, then you would've known he loved you just as much as you loved him. And while he may have spent time pining after Camilla, being infatuated with the thought of her, he fell in love with you; but now it was far too late for him to say anything. The damage had been dually done.

"I didn't know you ever were, birdie."

What would've been better? He couldn't undo the years he'd lost from plain obliviousness and even ignorance, he couldn't fix the parts of you he'd silently hurt across the years - and Eddie decided then that he wouldn't hurt you again, not now the choice so easily presented itself. So, he lied.

Eddie had been in love with you since the night when he stumbled into his room in the house with some just as drunk blonde wrapped around his arm. He hadn't been expecting to find you sat in his bed; though the sight wasn't an unwelcome one. Before either you or the blonde could comment on the situation, he asked her to show herself out, ignoring the nasty words she started throwing at him and continuing to ignore her complaints even as he closed the door in her face. Eddie was quick to kick off his shoes and make his way over to his bed, joining you against the pillows. The two of you spent the night dancing to both sides of the carpenters album 'close to you,' and then fell asleep together in Eddie's bed, both of you in his clothes and wrapped in each others arms.

That was the first of many nights like that, and one of the last nights either of you attempted to hook up with some stranger or some groupie despite the many that would flock to you over the years to come.

Eddie also knew you were in love with him ever since that day. The following morning, he woke up to the feeling of your finger ghosting over his temple, brushing the hair of his face every time it fell back in the way of your view. He let you stare at him for over a hour before he pretended to wake up, allowing you to commit every crack, wrinkle, freckle and scar to memory.

Over two decades on from that night you could still draw his expression from that morning.

Why didn't he ever say anything? As the two of you stared each other down backstage, neither moving, neither wanting to be the first to leave, all he could think about was all the opportunities he'd had over the past decade to confess his feelings to you - non of which he'd ever taken.

After the shit-show that was the performance you'd just done and the day you'd just had, the both of you knew the end was near, even if you didn't want to say it out loud. For all he knew, this was the last time Eddie was ever going to see you again.

Eddie closed the gap between the two of you, cupping your face in his hands and running his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks that were flushed and tear stained. Another position you were familiar with when it came to Eddie, many of your almost kisses beginning from something along these lines, except this time there was no almost; just an actual kiss.

Pensively, Eddie leant forward, pressing his lips to yours softly, cradling your face close to his with a tension in the hold he had on your face. You would've waited another ten years if it meant you could kiss Eddie again; if that meant he'd kiss you like this, hold you like this.

The both of you melded together, holding onto the kiss for as long as you could, knowing it was a hello and a goodbye and an I love you, I love you, I love you all in one.

But someone has to leave first. That is a very old story of which there is no other version.

You pulled away from Eddie's touch, resting your forehead against his as you regained your breath. Your eyes stayed downcast to the floor, knowing if you met his gaze, you'd never want to look away - you wouldn't be able to go on and live and find the life you deserved. Eddie didn't push you, instead respecting the space you'd created between the two of you. He let you walk away without another word and didn't chase after you, even when his heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest and everything in him told him to.

The following morning, after a restless night without you in his arms for the first time in a long time, a smile finally graced Eddie's face. He hadn't been earlier enough to see you get in your cab, but he'd arrived just in time to know you weren't getting back in that your bus, and neither was he.

It felt like closure in a way - knowing that neither of you were going to continue with the life that was the band, that both of you were beginning a new chapter in your life. It stung deeper then any weapon could though that going forward you weren't going to be friends; only strangers who'd happened to cross paths.

When Julia showed up on his doorstep 20 years later he knew it would cause him a world of hurt to talk about the band, but when she inevitably brought up your name, he was truly and completely crushed. He'd spent 20 years trying not to think about you and what could've been and here he was recounting every moment of your relationship like he was okay with it.

"I never did find anyone else." Eddie answered honestly to the camera, a fond and longing smile curled on his lips. "There was no one better then y/n. You couldn't help but fall in love with her, even then... even now."

It was six months later, to the day, that he received an email with a copy of the documentary attached and was quick to open the file and watch it.

Seeing your face for the first time in two decades was bittersweet. You looked just like, well, you, but older, more beautiful if that was possible. And when his name inevitably came up, the same soft and loving smile that had crossed his face graced yours.

"Eddie?" You rhetorically asked, thinking on your words in a long moment of gentle silence. "We spent so many years worried about admitting our feelings to each other - and potentially loosing each other because of it."

Julia let you sit in the silence, your eyes glazing over with what looked like tears through the camera. "I never loved anyone like I loved Eddie, and I still haven't, I don't think I ever will. And I spent years thinking about how the last thing I said to him that day was that I didn't love him anymore."

"But you lied?" Juli prompted.

"Kind of. I think Eddie knew the truth - we always did when it came to each other - I really hope he knew that when I said that, I meant quite the opposite."

"And if he's out there watching this, what would you want to say to him?" Eddie's eyes widened at the question, not having been asked that himself and now wondering which of the two of you had been interviewed first, or If fate was pulling some twisted and long frayed strings on his behalf through Julia.

A longer pause. You avoided the camera and Julia's gaze, looking down at your hands as you picked at the skin around your nails, unsure of where to begin or what to say. "My Eddie." You mused, looking back to camera. It felt to Eddie, that even through the screen, you were looking directly at him. "I hope that we work out in another lifetime. I'll come and find you in the next one and we'll start over again."

"Yeah." Eddie answered, though he knew you couldn't hear him, that you'd never get to hear him tell you that's all he wanted as well. He knew you'd know, though, you always did when it came to gather. "Yeah, that'd be nice, birdie. Be real nice."

~~~ non-angst/bittersweet bonus ending ~~~

It had taken 12 minutes exactly after finishing Julia's documentary for Eddie to book a flight to Pittsburgh. Though you'd never said it in the documentary, he'd recognise the house behind you as your childhood home even centuries on. He'd spent countless days and nights in his adolescence in that garden, that kitchen, that bedroom.

By the afternoon of the same day, he was standing on your doorstep, hands shaking as he raised them to knock of your door, and after 10 minutes of debating whether what he was doing was crazy or not, he finally got the courage to do so.

Even your call of 'one second' and footsteps rushing through the house had Eddie weak in the knees. He was terrified of what you would say - would you kick him to the curb, tell him that he was 20 years too late for you love? Would you welcome him back into your life with open arms? Would you have a family? Kids? A husband? A wife?

"Sorry, I-" You were just as beautiful as the day he'd last seen you. "Eddie?"

Eddie had spent the entire flight practising what he was going to say to you when he got here, but now he was in front of you, he found himself speechless. Where could he even begin in terms of making things right? Making things how they were supposed to be?

"I want to pay bills and slow dance with you, birdie, until we're old and wrinkled and you regret ever being with me." You stepped out from inside of your house, one step closer to Eddie on your porch and the life you'd spent years dreaming about and he was now offering to you. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I should've said something as soon as the day I met you, but I'm here and saying it now and-"

You'd be a fool not to.

You grabbed Eddie's face, clashing your lips to his in a sudden, swift motion. Despite being stunned by the kiss, Eddie was quick to lean into it, pulling you flush against him and lifting you off the ground, spinning the two of you around as you laughed into him, breaking away from the kiss with a smile.

Eddie placed you back down on the ground, but his hands never left your waist now that they'd found it. A series of ruby red kissed were pressed to his cheeks, his jaw and his lips once again, staining his skin though he'd never mind, not as long as it was you doing it.

"I'm old." You whispered into the space between you, though there wasn't much to begin with, your lips brushing against his as you moved them to speak. "I'm not the girl you fell in love with all those years ago."

"I don't care." Eddie answered back, holding your cheeks so carefully you'd think he was holding the world in the palm of his hand: as far as he was concerned, he was. "I could fall in love with you anywhere in any form. As long as you let me, I want to do this and I want to do it with you. I don't want to spend another second without you in my life, not again."

"You sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Eddie pressed another kiss to your lips, cradling the back of your neck with the hand that wasn't cradling your cheek and keeping you close to him. "I love you birdie. I always have and I always will."

"My Eddie." You hummed, smiling up at the blonde you'd loved since you were 13, him finally and permanently in your arms. "I love you too."

#daisy jones and the six imagine #daisy jones and the six x reader #djats x reader #eddie roundtree x reader #djats imagine #eddie loving x reader #eddie roundtree oneshot #eddie roundtree imagine #eddie loving #eddie roundtree

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just-another-consciousness · 2 months

Text

On the mountain tall:

This song does a great job of setting the tone, of being that known world that we as the protagonists find ourselves in. As we look at this through a couple different lenses we can either think of this entire work as either a story about deconstructing christian evangelical fundamentalism or we can think of the entire work of the four winds as a metaphorical piece about the process of growing as a person, of challenging the systems of the world that we live in and finding out how to be better. Because both of these are fundamentally correct ways to think about the four winds I’ll analyze each song and album from both perspectives.

We start with On the Mountain Tall and even the title itself is setting, the entire song gives you a very good idea of the level of comfort we have in the known and in the way that we think about the world around us. This does not mean that the song is passive in any way, however. The song is very active and shows how you believe, when you are in this system, that you are a part of the creation of a great thing and how good that feels and, to a certain extent how scary anything outside of the great thing you’re building feels.

Within the context of evangelical christianity the song talks about having a connection to your god and trying to build the belief in that religion because of not only the connection to your god but also the connection that you have with all of the stories that you were taught. You were taught that there is a kind and loving god who will save you from torment and because of that there is a feeling of comfort and fear at the same time.

Within a context of a more general idea of growth and backstory the song talks about what it feels like to be complacent in a system, maybe not quite as active in the perpetration of the ideas of the system but you nonetheless feel like this is a part of you, and that there is a piece of you or a community that you would alienate by questioning these norms.

On the Mountain Tall is very much about the setting of complacency and the comfort that comes from being in a system that works for you.

Ok time for analysis of specific lyrics with both of these contexts:

On the Mountain Tall

Whisper to me words in a voice so small

Like the one that to Elijah called

Quiet as a candle and bright as the morning sun

There is a clear sense of connection to the purpose of the thing that created this community, whether that be a sense of purpose or to a specific deity depends on the analytical context. The call to it, no matter which of these things it is, is generally something that is almost subconscious in your thinking in that its existence in your life is obvious, it underscores everything that you do.

Though the fire and wind

Shattered down the hills with a rage unbent

And a fear that shook the firmament

He was not within them, the clatter of brass and drums

This section talks about the existence of other things and people outside of the community that you have for yourself within this connection, the existence of these people creates a sense of fear within your community. This could even be interpreted to talk about the fear for someone who is outside of your community because you believe that this thing that is so intrinsic to you and so important has to have the same importance for everyone.

I know you want me to be afraid

I know you want me to love you

These lyrics are repeated multiple times throughout the song, it starts to talk about the fear that happens within a community towards the outside of it. Whether that fear be a fear of those outside that group, a fear for those outside the group or a fear of becoming an outsider of the group. All of these fears are present but so is the love that was mentioned in the first part of the first verse.

Still the wild wind blows

Up out of the grave of an angry ghost

Firing bricks from broken canon and prose

To build a wall so high it reaches the heavens in the sky

This is the part where we start to talk about building something bigger within this community, taking the pieces that fit the narrative that the community wants and turning it into something greater.

Can we take a sec and talk about the brilliance of the lyricism here? Firing bricks from broken canon and prose? Beautiful, we are misled by the firing to think that it’s about conquest when it’s actually talking about construction. This is where the biblical references become obvious by talking about building a wall so high it reaches the heavens in the sky, a reference to the tower of babel, the excitement of everyone around it about its construction, of the idea of reaching the heavens and really of being a part of something with lofty goals about changing the world is intoxicating. The sounds of doubt from others is something that you consider either unimportant or long gone, coming out of a grave because you’re caught up in the creation of something greater with the core of your being in mind.

Also a quick note that broken canon and prose is a little nod to the amount of cherry-picking in the church of bible verses.

After this we have a repetition of

I know you want me to be afraid,

I know you want me to love you

Which really just stresses that in the back of your head the fear is still there to a certain extent even with this great project and all of its intoxicating idealistic beauty.

Still you beat your drums

Raising holy war with every strum

Shouting down the quiet kingdom come

Brushing at your fingers, hoping you’ll come around

These lyrics vaguely allude to the idea that everyone in these kinds of situations believes that everyone around them who doesn’t is either evil or misguided for not falling into step with them. Everyone who is not helping in the creation of the tower is obviously against it but it’s okay because they’ll come around to it as it happens, they will all be saved eventually and all of the objections of the rest of the world won’t matter.

Musical analysis:

Not a ton of different notes right now, (please leave your own thoughts in comments/reblogs) I just really like how the music matches the song’s content so well, there’s pounding drums in the background from the beginning that moves the content forwards. The music is intentionally creating a moving but comforting piece that rouses the spirit. I have been told that it is in a very similar style to the music that is used at youth church camps once you get too smart for the songs that just repeat the same things over and over again, although since I was never part of evangelical christian circles I will just have to take that at face value. After listening specifically to make notes on the musicality I’ve noticed that after the first verse we get tyler joining maggie and creating harmonies as soon as the point of the song itself moves outside of the first person and more on the person’s relationship with their community.

The harmony focusing on being even and almost muted compared to the other parts of the song in ‘I know you want me to be afraid, I know you want me to love you’ really shows that idea of falling into place within the community, especially since it is echoed right after even softer. The second repetition of this being much louder is because this person has become more comfortable in the community as they find a role within it.

I also really like the part where it musically creates a beautifully complex upward moving harmony for ‘reaches the heavens in the sky’ for its own reason but combining it with the idea of working together to reach an otherwise deemed impossible goal is chef’s kiss.

As the song continues on, it adds more and more parts and it could just be because it sounds cool but I would think of it as a fun way to show that there are several different pieces that come together to form the beautiful community in an almost overly idyllic way, but that is pure english teacher why-was-the-door-blue level of speculation.

Song link (spotify):https://open.spotify.com/track/24nbKu7Yydp3G3TPd7OAhO?si=583273855d2347c6

#the oh hellos #the four winds #song analysis

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harrytheehottie · 1 year

Text

SPINNING OUT SNEAK PEEK -- COMING SOON

As the playback came to an end the entire room clapped as he shyly bowed his head down. You didn’t know him at all but the gesture was enough for you to make your first assumption - his inability to take in too much praise is probably what kept him grounded enough to be an artist at his caliber and attend a playback in tier B level music magazines offices. You had your run ins with a fair share of artists but there was something about him that was different and you could immediately feel it. And as if he could read your mind, right as they opened the door to the conference room to let everyone back to their work, Harry stood in the doorway, shaking the hands of your colleagues and giving them personal thank you’s on their way out.

Suddenly, those butterflies you felt in the pit of your stomach came flushing back. You counted the number of people in front of you and watched intently as they one by one had a moment with Harry, he must have done this all the time, it felt like an autoresponder was turned around the amount fo ‘thank you mates’ and ‘lovely to meet you’s’ he was handing out.

You were growing more nervous as the line in front of you got smaller, now more aware of the fact that the only people left behind you were your boss and other higher ups. People who definitely weren’t as nervous and have some sort of working relationship with him. Fuck, you thought to yourself as your rubbed your sweaty palms against your jeans, okay the game plan had to be - you shake hands, say nice to meet you, love the album and keep it moving or completely avoid shaking of hands because - sweaty palms - and just say nice to meet you, love the album and keeping it moving.

It was down to one person in front of you, Abby from the PR department and you watched as Harry looked her in the eyes deeply like whatever she was saying to him was the only important thing in the world. The cynical part of your brain was telling you of course he’s going to be that way to the employee who is the head of publicity - that’s what this industry was about the give and take. Just as she said her final goodbyes and walked towards her desk it was your turn to go up to him.

You took a deep breath in and out before walking towards him with a smile and your right hand ready to shake his that was firmly placed in front of his body,

“Thank you so much for stopping by, I really loved the album. That song where you talked about drinking wine alone in the garden and the one that had that line about karma -- those two instantly spoke to me. It really feels like a cohesive body of work and you should really be proud of yourself for creating this and It’s really nice to meet you and-” You spoke a mile a minute, unaware of how much was coming out of your mouth and how fast you were saying the words before being cut off by Harry

“Slow down love, s’only me.” Harry spoke up, the dimples on his face more present that you imagined them to be as he broke out into a soft chuckle, it wasn’t until now that you realized your right hand was still in his and his left was holding your right arm up.

#harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #ahhhhhhhHHHHHhhhhhhh okay! :D #let me know your thoughts im SO excited to share #and equally nervous #spinning out

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reasonsmandy · 1 year

Text

You Intrigue Me

Billy Dunne x Fem!Reader

✧.* part two — is there something lost in the sky?

✧.* requested by anon — Hi! If you're still taking requests can you do one for Billy dunne? The reader is a pretty popular well liked girl in the same way Billy was and she's basically the one for Billy but they never really cross paths so she doesn't know he likes her like that, they just stay friends. She's not in the band so she doesn't see them often but when she visits during the tour daisy realises she's who Billy's crazy about. Thanks in advance!

✧.* summary — He made you curious in so many ways and you wanted to know why, it was like looking at yourself in a mirror. It was curious how you mirrored each other and at the same time showed each other a new world.

✧.* warnings — none.

✧.* word count — 4.6k

✧.* 🎤 — Billy Dunne's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I didn't put Camila in this story because I didn't want her to be cheated on or have her heart broken, so we're left without her in this universe :)

There were layers in you that weren't easy to access, not even for you, moments and experiences that shaped your being that were so complex to disentangle that just guide you along the way to where you are. Every passion, frustration and new encounter arising in your being during your life was demonstrated by you to others in only one way: music.

You've always shown everything you felt in music and you knew that's what you wanted to do in life from the beginning, and you followed that path with perseverance until you conquered where you are now.

Every chorus the audience screamed at the top of their lungs reverberated through your body and made your bones tremble, while your band played the songs you knew by heart since you were fourteen when you started creating them in your room, you danced around the stage, interacted with the audience and gave your all for each of those individuals who made you so proud of your work.

They jumped up and down as if it was the last night of their lives, the signs with funny phrases, praise for you, and of course several lyrics of your songs, some looked at you with tears in their eyes others with so much emotion that you couldn't help thinking that some drug was involved, but who were you to judge if the one you had this morning was still on your system?

Those were usually the best nights of your life, you loved the shows, the energy of the audience vibrating so intensely full of energy feeling every lyric just like you felt living what you write and sing on each album. It was her way of connecting with the world, of feeling seen by someone, of being heard. And it seemed to work when you looked at those faces.

The spotlights focus on you for a few seconds while you sing the last notes to finish, you close your eyes feeling that adrenaline through your veins once more, it was good to be sober to witness the ecstasy of it, the wonder it was to hear the applause and achieve what you'd always wanted.

You walk backstage with a washcloth slung over your shoulder, panting from everything you've just experienced. Someone from the staff you don't recognize because of the dark offers you a bottle of water and you gladly accept it, taking quick sips eager to quench the thirst that has grown in you since the fourth song. Your back was leaning against some speakers while you caught your breath, from time to time wiping the beads of sweat that descended from your forehead, you heard a few steps behind you and opened your eyes in curiosity.

"You were rocking up there." A man with curly hair and a waistcoat says with a broad smile, Warren Rojas, you'll soon recognize it.

"Thank you Rojas." You say while nodding your head, soon the other band members join you.

You knew very little about The Six, they were new to your label and they were buzzing around, you were happy for their success, after all it wasn't easy to get off the ground that way in the first place. But no one in their right mind could deny that 'Look Me in The Eye' was sensational, they were very good and deserved the recognition they gradually gained. They were on their first tour and Teddy Price had asked you for a favor to open their first show, you were a little reluctant to accept because you didn't know if your songs fit theirs, but something inside you told him to accept the invitation.

It was their first night and you could see the nervousness mixed with the longing to meet their audience, little by little they headed to the stage and again the crowd was agitated amid screams and applause. You tried to ignore the heavy presence of Billy Dunne a little far from you, he looked thoughtful, as if thousands of things danced in his mind driving him crazy with their jumps and twirls. You think about approaching him but are reluctant... There is something so intimate in his figure, almost similar to a mirror.

You had never talked much, and you weren't sure if you wanted this closeness with him, something in you said that getting closer to him meant getting in touch with those layers in you that were so unreachable. You blatantly stare at him, and when he looks back at you it's like a vulnerability attacks your body, you straighten your posture.

"They're waiting for you." You say nodding towards the stage exit, The older Dunne looks straight into your eyes and sighs. "Look, I know it sounds scary, but when you get there, the music takes you with it. At least that's how it is with me."

He listens to you, which surprises you, on the outside he doesn't seem like a good listener at all. Something inside you gives a twinge, you recognize yourself in his eyes in a way.

"They are here for you, take your moment and feel that energy in your bones. I assure you there is nothing like it." You say lighting a cigarette and bringing it to your lips, your words emboldened the word him and you could see it by the way he took a deep breath.

He walks up the stairs listening to the crowd cheer as Warren begins the countdown to the entrance of the song noticing the figure of Billy at the foot of the stage, he looks at you before putting the guitar around your neck.

"Thank you." He murmurs, you just smile.

…

The show had been spectacular, it had been a while since you had witnessed such energy as an audience and you had to admit that you had been ignorant to think that your music styles didn't match theirs. From the balcony of your hotel room you could hear the city quieting down, there is something curious about the early mornings that make your thoughts wake up, it was always difficult to fall asleep during these days on the road, it was like a constant reminder that moving through various cities was more belonging than what you called home.

When the energy of the shows wore off and you found yourself alone in that hotel room at your own mercy, it was almost bizarre how you managed to entertain thousands of people but never yourself. The early morning breeze hit your skin like a call to the earth, bringing you back to the scene in front of you as you felt your hair stand on end in the frigid air. Your gaze goes to the clock, three in the morning.

You sigh, engaging your body in a hobby, deciding to go for a walk when you notice that you wouldn't quiet your thoughts so easily. Yellow lights illuminated the hotel lobby, you can see the surprise of the two employees who were behind the counter when they saw you exiting the elevator, you offer them a small smile and head for the exit.

It wasn't much different from the balcony in your room, maybe just a little cooler. Maybe now it was more vivid to be able to notice the details of what you admired from afar with a better perspective. At the same time that environment is so distant and apathetic towards you, it brings you a strange comfort.

There is something admirable about silence, about questions that cannot be answered, about the curiosity that surrounds each individual. Being there in the insignificance of your being through the greatness of it all, was a call to question yourself every time you caught yourself admiring the sky too much. Was there any purpose in this relentless pursuit?

"Is there something lost in the sky?" A low voice brings you back to reality once more, you bring your attention to the man with long hair who slowly approaches you.

"Not that I know of." You shrug, opening a small smile. "But there probably is, if I'm lost here, imagine whoever is up there."

You didn't understand why you were being so honest with him, it was the second time you interacted with him but it felt natural, and necessary. Billy looks at you in curiosity, understanding you, you notice.

"Do you think there's someone up there?" He asks, the question makes you think, you shrug deciding not to answer. He looks at you arching his eyebrows. "You intrigue me Y/N."

You light a cigarette, offering him another, he accepts. "And why's that?"

He takes a long drag, you watch the way his lips wrap around the object and that for some reason captures your attention. "There's a fine line between identifying with someone and wanting to be like them." He blows the smoke to the other side, "I don't know how I feel about you"

His answer makes your legs weak, you swallow hard trying to understand if the intensity of your day confused the discernment you were having of this moment, or if it was those eyes that simply made it impossible for you to respond.

"I just think you're an interesting person." He adds, you can't help noticing that now he was looking at the sky like you. "You know, I would love to write a song about you."

This captures your attention more, you turn your body fully towards him now, turning your face in curiosity. "Look, it usually works, I've been doing it for a few years."

Your comment makes him laugh, you notice that such a sound warms your stomach, it was good. "But I doubt you can do a better job than me." You shrug, he smirks at you with a curious look in his eyes.

"It's a challenge?" You can see that he was shivering a little, probably regretting his choice of outfit as he left his room.

You cross your arms with a bigger smile on your lips, the cigarette was already ending at this point. "Let's do it like this, I write about you and you about me. And we will see which album does better."

His eyes gleamed with the idea, it wasn't a fight between you, but a competition surrounded by curiosity and eagerness to see where it would all go. You were full of talent, reigns of genius in every line and musical note, from there wonderful things would come out for the music industry for sure.

"It's a deal!" He extends his hand towards you, you notice his calloused fingers probably because of the guitar, you shake his hand.

"See you around Billy Dunne." You throw your cigarette butt in the trash can next to you, entering the hotel once again.

…

The "See you around Billy Dunne" was in fact a prediction of what would happen in the coming months, you didn't have much time together even more with the continuation of the 'SevenEighNine' tour and later your own. You exchanged glances and several conversations during some early mornings from time to time, as time went by the line that connected you two was gradually pulled closer and you strangely loved it.

When you returned to the day of the record company, you saw each other in some meetings and among the halls of the place, the tension grew with each look, with each simple touch between you, with each non-verbal conversation. It was like a growing need that yearned to be satisfied, and how to satisfy that? You two had an escape from such needs, a way to demonstrate what words themselves could not do, it was the melodies that you showed all of that.

Each new song was a new hook to create more, a quest to light and increase that flame, it was addictive and you loved it.

You hummed softly as you strummed the guitar in the empty sound room, from time to time removing the pencil that is resting behind your ear to write in the notebook in front of you, days like that were good... Being inspired and proud of what you created was sensational.

A sound makes you come out of the trance, your eyes go to the big door that is opened by the figure of Billy Dunne, surprised you raise your eyebrow without saying anything. He tosses a notebook above yours, sitting by your side, you remain silent he then runs his hands through his hair.

"I wanted you to see this one." He says with a sigh, you open a small smile taking the object in your hands.

His handwriting was complicated, but you decide not to comment on it, making an effort to understand his notes. You feel his gaze on you, you know exactly what that feeling of vulnerability was, having your writing in someone's hands at the mercy of their judgment is as vulnerable as sex. He was nervous to know your opinion, his eyes analyzed every corner of your face in search of something that showed what you had found, you made sure not to let it show.

The lyrics were like the mold of his core, it was deep, delicate, at the same time harsh and brazen, it screamed at you while holding you in its comfort, it made you think and question and be sure about the little you already know. It was like delving into his soul, it was intimate and vulnerable, the feeling that you know so much about someone while not having exchanged a word with him in your life was peculiar. With each verse you delve deeper and deeper into the knowledge and meaning it brings to a new vision, and you understand that the magnitude of such sets was not just for being a demonstration of his vulnerability but also because it made you question and go in search of your own vulnerability. The peculiar thing was that, you felt like you knew about him when in fact the music was leading you to yourself from the beginning.

You only notice that you are crying when your tear hits the page, you are quick to suck your cheeks trying to recover from the wave of emotions that invaded you after the bridge of the song, how he did it you had no idea but he was able to access the layers you never got in yourself. You bring your gaze to him, a small smile on his face shows he is proud of his work.

"You intrigue me Billy Dunne." You quote him, then applauding what he had read. "Do you already have an idea for a melody?"

"Daisy is helping me with this, I mean, we fight more than we help each other but..." He says through a weak laugh. "I'm sure it will come out eventually."

"I want to be the first to hear it when it's ready." The smile on your face was inevitable, as was the need to be closer to him. For an instant you swear you can swim in the depths of his blue eyes.

His sapphire eyes wander in looking at yours and your lips, he slowly approaches you, another silent need hovering between you, but it was no secret to either of you that there was little left for that line to be crossed, his hands gradually approached your thigh and you allow him to touch you, feeling the great wave of electricity through you.

You take one of your hands to his cheeks, and kiss him unprecedentedly. As your lips meet, the atmosphere around you crackles with an electric charge. The kiss is a fusion of urgency and tenderness, a long-awaited culmination of desire. Your hands find their way to each other, intertwining and exploring with a delicate, passionate touch.

The kiss is a revelation, a meeting of souls that transcends words. It is an exploration of unspoken desires and hidden depths, an intimate connection that takes both of you by surprise. Time seems to stand still as your lips dance in perfect harmony, each movement deepening the connection between you.

The taste of the kiss is intoxicating, a blend of sweetness and longing that leaves you craving more. It is a sensory experience, heightened by the touch of your hands on each other's bodies, creating a symphony of sensations that sends shivers down your spine.

In that moment, the world outside fades away, and it's just the two of you, lost in the intensity of the kiss. It is a meeting of minds, a collision of emotions, where every touch and every breath speaks volumes. The chemistry between you is undeniable, and the passion that courses through your veins is palpable.

As the kiss reaches its peak, a mixture of desire, vulnerability, and connection fills the air. It is a moment of surrender, where inhibitions melt away and the depth of your connection becomes undeniable.

As the kiss slowly comes to an end, you find yourselves breathless, your lips tingling with the remnants of the shared passion. The silence remains, almost as present between you as the other feelings, he licks his lips and soon smiles, picking up his notebook.

"I'll call you when it's ready." He speaks in a hoarse voice, you open a big smile watching him leave through the same door he entered.

…

For Daisy Jones, Billy's creativity operated in a very complex and different way from her own, after all, she rarely did this sober. For her it was like seeing a rare phenomenon happen before her eyes, and besides, it was very curious to know what was the basis for such inspiration in the songs that were entrusted to him. He was a quiet person, he didn't even open up to his brother who had been there forever, so Jones's biggest hobby together with Warren was to go in search of who was the inspiring muse of the older Dunne.

They had become addicted to it, searching for little clues and hints Billy left in the lyrics, or analyzing every change in attitude, every longer exchange of glances, but they had nothing but big guesses. Warren swore it was one of the helpers Teddy had hired over the past month, but Daisy maintained that the songs were too deep to be about someone the Dunne knew for such little time.

But the redhead didn't know you, she couldn't take her guesses to you because she had no idea of your existence until that day. Eddie played around doing some riffs, catching Graham's attention, who wrote it down in a notebook nearby—noticing only later that it wasn't his, but Warren's. Karen hunched over the keyboard sleepily waiting for Billy to show up, Warren had gathered several cans and was drumming on them as he talked to Daisy, both of them smoking cigarettes.

When opening the studio doors it was like shouting at a room that had just entered, because everyone immediately turned their eyes to you, you smile small as a way to avoid more extensive hellos, Billy doesn't take long to come after you with a huge smile on his face, which does not go unnoticed by Daisy.

She looks at Warren with wide eyes, as if begging him to understand what she was trying to say, Rojas doesn't even notice. She rolls her eyes and walks over to her microphone putting her headphones, the musical aura has always been a home for you so it's not uncomfortable being there with these people at any time.

You really wanted to hear how they had shaped those lyrics as a team, creating and bringing music to life was always and will be the best art form for you, and to see that magic happen before your eyes was always spectacular. The song didn't disappoint you in any way, you were too proud of what they had done there, you wanted to cry again but maybe it was too intimate for you to let that happen there.

You close your eyes letting the melody invade your eardrums, your hair shivers, the butterflies in your stomach grow again and you feel like you belong. When the melody drops and you notice the song gradually fading away, you applaud them with a gigantic, proud smile. Interestingly, Teddy does the same on the other side of the glass.

Daisy comes to her senses then, she notices the look in the older Dunne's eyes, the way he seems light in her presence, the way he seems to involuntarily reach out to you. She asks Teddy and Tobias if they had finished recording and they release her, she doesn't take long to grab Rojas by the hands and pull him out of the room.

"What happened?" Warren was high, she could tell because she was coming off her own.

"It's her!” Jones exclaims, pointing to the room that had the doors closed beside them. The drummer frowns, she sighs. "Billy's inspirational muse is that girl inside."

"Y/N?" He questions as if trying to connect the dots, he moves his fingers as if he's doing the math. "You think?"

"I'm sure!" The redhead exclaims excitedly, it was as if looking at you she could read Billy's lyrics. "I've never seen him smile like that."

"It must be because he hates you." Warren shrugs, smoothing his mustache. She frowns. "Are you sure it's not Gabriela?"

"He never exchanged a word with her Warren!" Daisy looked irritated, the drummer thought it was funny.

"You never saw the two of them talking either." He snaps his fingers pointing to the door like he's made the best argument in the world.

"Looking at her is like I'm looking at songs from this album, Warren!" She says hitting the key of her argument, Rojas is thoughtful. "I mean, apart from my songs."

"I still don't think we can rule out the idea that Gabi..." He starts to speak but is interrupted by the door being opened.

You walk out the door with Billy Dunne at your side, you guys laugh at something he had commented about Graham inside, it was curious how good and comfortable you felt next to him. Daisy looks at Warren with emphasizing what she had already said with just a fixed look, Warren closes his eyes still uncertain.

"Teddy gave us a few minutes to spare before the next round." Billy clarifies, running his hands through his hair. "We're going to the diner nearby, do you guys want something?"

"No no, enjoy." Daisy smiles small, almost like a smirk on her lips.

"I want a natural sandwich, an orange juice and if you can, bring me a granola bar too." Rojas says adjusting his vest, getting a chuckle from you, an annoyed look from Billy and an incredulous one from Daisy.

…

The background music was yours, you smile small with pride in your chest but try not to show it. You decide to sit at a table farther apart, avoiding prying eyes, you both knew you weren't very talkative people at times like these. Billy asks what he wanted to eat, you do the same and remind him to order for Warren too.

"And? What do you think of the result? "He questions drinking some of her juice. Looking deeply into your eyes.

"It was perfect, I had no doubt it was going to be so fucking good." You say, biting the sandwich that rested in front of you.

"To hear that from you means a lot." He sounded sincere, you decide to believe him. "Don't ask me why, it's complex."

You raise your hands in surrender, causing him to chuckle. You then open your bag and take out your notebook, he watches your every move with curiosity.

"My turn to surprise you." You hand it to him gently, you felt very vulnerable now, he accessed his layers slowly and it was scary, but it was good when it was done with him.

As Billy receives the notebook from you, his eyes flicker with a mix of anticipation and curiosity. He holds the notebook gently, his fingertips tracing the worn cover before opening it, revealing the pages that hold your musical creation.

As he starts to read the lyrics and notes, a range of emotions flicker across his face. His brows furrow slightly, indicating deep concentration as he absorbs the words and melodies you've crafted. The lines etched on his forehead soften, transitioning into a subtle smile that tugs at the corners of his lips.

You notice a glimmer in his eyes, a spark of recognition and appreciation. It's as if your song has struck a chord within him, resonating with his own emotions and experiences. The way he leans into the notebook, immersing himself in your creation, speaks volumes about his genuine interest and investment in your art.

He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, his gaze shifting between the notebook and your expectant face. When he finally speaks, his voice carries a mix of awe and reverence.

"This is incredible," he says, his voice filled with sincerity. "Fuck Y/N… This is indeed a masterpiece."

A smile spreads across your face, mirroring the warmth and pride that swells within your chest. His genuine admiration and appreciation for your work validate the vulnerability you felt in sharing it with him.

"I still have things to polish on it." You make it clear, taking another bite of your sandwich. "But I think something really good is going to come out of it."

"You think? I'm sure." He looked proud of you, it was a good feeling.

Billy looks up at you, his eyes shining with admiration and gratitude. He reaches out to place a hand gently on yours, a silent gesture of connection and understanding. The unspoken bond between you deepens in that moment, as your artistic expressions have transcended words and touched something profound within him.

His reaction is a testament to the power of your song, and you feel a surge of confidence and joy. This exchange of creativity and vulnerability strengthens your connection, reminding you both of the unique bond you share as artists and individuals.

"When is the album ready?" He asks, the french fries in front of him didn't look very good but he kept eating them every now and then. "I don't want to rush you or anything, I just want to hear you sing again."

"You don't need any excuse to hear me sing Billy Dunne." You smile small, admiring his beautiful eyes.

He doesn't know much what to say, so he watches you intrigued, trying to decipher where you're going with this.

"Meet me tonight at the studio, I'll sing for you." You offer by opening your purse and leaving money on the table for your order.

"Are you asking me on a date?" He asks without taking his eyes off yours, you feel your legs go weak.

"Come and find out." You wink at him leaving the room.

Daisy pushes Warren a little to the side, he complains about the slight pain he feels in his arm but continues with his role of observing the table of the two from afar.

"You see? They're clearly having something!" She says proudly at having figured out her big mystery.

"I never would have guessed, really." He shrugs, playing with one of his curls.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?" Billy asks when he notices familiar voices when he goes to pay the bill.

"Eating dinner?" Warren tries to coax him with a wide smile. Billy rolls his eyes, leaving the place. "Hey wait, did you buy my granola bar?"

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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bonesandthebees · 3 months

Note

Hey, just wanted to check in on you. I know a lot of your fics center around cwilbur/ctommy. I hope you’re doing ok with the news. I’m so proud of the community not tolerating this.

I feel kind of guilty though. I listened heavily to love joy as I related to it and it’s been helping me get through rough times. But now I’m sitting here wondering “does that make me a bad person?”. I stopped listening to Lovejoy YCMGA and MSR but am I a bad person for relating to those songs?

I can’t listen to them anymore without feeling sick, knowing something that once brought me so much comfort was created by a man doing the same thing I’m trying to escape from.

I still want to listen to them sometimes though, but I refuse to support a man like that. I’m also a little nervous about fics. Me and my brother would read your fics together as a way to bond even through long distance living. cwilbur was one of my brother’s favorite characters and he loves your fics.

I haven’t talked with him about it yet, though I probably should. I feel like all in all I just need time to plant my feet and get it back together.

But in the meantime I am so endlessly proud for seeing how everyone has been encouraging and supporting Shelby. I know how scary it is to speak up about what has been done to you and I’m so proud of her. I’m also proud of how the community has refused to support him at all.

Shutting down accounts, turning the Wilbur subreddit into a Wilbur Wright subreddit, I’m proud that so many people have taken action while the rest of us are still reeling

Thank you for letting me vent, I hope you are taking time and space to care for yourself during this as well

thank you anon, I spent the last week talking extensively with people in my inbox about the whole wilbur situation and it really helped me process a lot of my emotions at the time so I'm doing alright now. while I'm not taking any of my old fics down, I'm still figuring out what I'm going to do with my ongoing fics that center around c!wilbur, so we'll see where I end up landing with that

I'm also so incredibly proud of the community for not tolerating this. like, you gotta admit, this was one of the most cohesive ways I've ever seen a fanbase dissolve. sure there are still some freaks sticking around, but the vast majority of us got up and left.

now, don't ever feel like you're a bad person for relating to the lyrics wilbur wrote. although many of the songs feel different now with this new information about him as a person, he wrote about mental struggles in a way that MANY people connected with. there's nothing wrong with having those kinds of struggles. what's wrong is when someone dealing with those kinds of things is hurting other people, is made aware they're hurting other people, and then refuses to do anything to try and change for the better. wilbur refused to try and be a better person. he chose to keep abusing his partner and hurting the people around him. that's what makes a bad person.

I do think separation of art vs artist is possible, but it gets trickier when financial support comes in. that's why I suggest if you want to keep listening to lovejoy, piracy is always an option. the mp3 youtube downloader is your best friend there. MSR is a bit trickier though given that we know MSR was entirely written about wilbur's perspective of his and shelby's relationship, and now we know the truth of what that relationship was actually like. his own narrative that disregards the abuse is what makes up the album itself. personally, I don't think I could ever listen to MSR again without feeling gross.

that makes me really happy to hear you and your brother bonded while reading my fics. like man that's so sweet, I really hope you two will be able to keep enjoying the same things. whether you're both able to separate character from cc and continue reading c!wilbur content, or finding another interest to share in the future. take your time though. there's no rush to talk to him. let your feelings settle.

and yes I'm also incredibly proud of shubble as I'm sure we all are. coming forward like this is a terrifying thing to do but I'm so grateful she did, because now we all are aware and aren't unintentionally platforming a dangerous person like that. I'm so proud of this community. we really all came together in the end.

take care of yourself <3

#ask #anon #wilbur situation

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milligramspoison · 1 year

Text

Killjoy Legacy Challenge

Hey! You! Are you a My Chemical Romance fan who wants their sim to live the Killjoy life? Or are you just a sims player who wants their sim to live a post-apocalyptic lifestyle? Well…we may have the right challenge for you!

This is the Killjoy Legacy Challenge, a challenge based around Danger Days, the 4th studio album by My Chemical Romance, it’s music videos, and The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys comics, California and National Anthem, written by MCR’s lead singer Gerard Way and Shaun Simon…and maybe some headcanons by fans as well.

This challenge was created by my best friend Niamh, who is @frankierosbackbends on here, and myself- we’re both huge MCR fans who love the Killjoys universe and the sims!

Apologies if this may not be the best- this is our first time doing something like this.

General Rules:

You can use money cheats, but not to an extent. You can use freerealestate on to move onto the lot you desire but that’s it. You’re in the apocalypse, you’re gonna have to work hard for your money- or carbons, in the Killjoy universe.

You can be the Killjoy of each generation, but you don’t have to- you can also create your own sim! Just as long as you follow the rules of each generation and all, you’re good to go!

You’re in the apocalypse, your kids won’t be going to school. You can either use mods for this or not send your kids to school. Be careful though, the game will threaten to take them away if they get a grade F!

The partner for each generation doesn’t matter as they aren’t a part of this challenge unless specified.

Feel free to create a storyline with each generation! As long as you follow the rules of each generation, you’re all good to go and go wild with your imagination!

Keep the lifespan of a sim on normal.

With all of that out of the way, let’s get into each generation and their rules!

Generation One: Mike Milligram

You always loved riding around with your friends and soulmate, blasting your music, especially the Ramones. You adored the Ramones. You could be pretty annoying about it too. You also love going adventures with your friends- anything to distract yourself from the apocalypse.

Traits - Adventurous, Music Lover, Perfectionist

Aspiration - Successful Lineage

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Date but never marry your soulmate

Have only one child

Master the charisma skill

Generation Two: Val Velocity

You’re an asshole. And you’re pretty irrational. Those are the two best ways to describe you. You don’t think before you do things and you don’t think before you say something. Your friends and family tolerate you (somehow) but you can definitely be difficult to be around. Except for your best friend. They’re pretty cool, you guess.

Traits - Mean, Jealous, Self-Absorbed

Aspiration - Public Enemy

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Make a best friend that has at least one same trait as you

Have at least 5 enemies

Have 3 close friends (excluding your family)

Master the mischief skill (for mean interactions)

Generation Three: Show Pony

You just adored rollerblading! It was always hard to get those things off your feet. You either rollerbladed down the road or always took yourself to the abandoned roller rink. It was a big difference from your parents who were…well, y’know. You loved them but they could be difficult. Anyways- you also don’t talk much. You necessarily aren’t an introvert, but you were always on the move and didn’t have the time to talk to anyone.

Traits - Active, Dance Machine, Cheerful

Aspiration - Bodybuilder

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Master the athletic, skating, and dance skills (skating is a hidden skill- the way to tell if your sim is improving is by how well they can skate. Stating this for those who may not know!!)

Have only 3 close friends other than your family

Flirt with at least 3-5 people before finding your partner

Generation Four: DJ Hot Chimp

You just loved music, all kinds of music. You always heard something different whenever your parent took you to the roller rink. Because of that, it eventually turned into a dream of being a DJ. Luckily, there were a few abandoned clubs across the desert that Killjoys loved to party in where you could live your dream. You were loud with bright colors and loud with your music.

Traits - Party Animal, Music Lover, Outgoing

Aspiration - Party Animal

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Master the DJ mixing skill

Meet your partner at one of your sets

Be best friends with your child

Generation Five: Cherri Cola

You were the introvert of your family…your very extroverted family. Yes, you loved them, you loved them a lot. But they definitely could be a lot sometimes. While you did pick up some of their interests such as music, you fell in love with books. You just read and read…it’s your favorite thing to do, besides writing poetry. Despite being a world certified introvert, you’re also the best shot in the desert. You looked around your enemies, not at them.

Traits - Bookworm, Loner, Socially Awkward

Aspiration - Nerd Brain

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Master the logic and wellness skills

Write in your journal everyday/every other day of your life (this will act as you writing your poems)

Must have Great Storyteller trait (can be bought in the reward store- needed pack is Outdoor Retreat)

Read and tuck your child in every night

Generation Six: Jet Star

You were always calm and the most rational one. It took a lot to piss you off. And when you did get pissed off…well, it wasn’t pretty. It always caught everyone off guard. You’re the most mature of the group, besides your parent, and treat others how they would like to be treated. You’re the one-eyed hero that always tried to keep everyone levelheaded…and alive.

Traits - Proper, Genius, Self-Assured

Aspiration - Inner Peace

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Master the guitar and charisma skills

Complete the Artistic Prodigy aspiration as a child

Earn at least 3 positive character value traits

Generation Seven: Fun Ghoul

You’re the biggest goofball of them all. You love pulling pranks and being mischievous. It was the one thing that brought joy (or anger) to others. Your joy can practically light up a room. You also love building things with any scrap that you can find. You’re also a bit clumsy, which doesn’t help when you’re building, uh…explosives.

Traits - Goofball, Clumsy, Outgoing

Aspiration - Chief of Mischief

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Master the mischief, handiness, and comedy skills (master the mischief skill for mischievous interactions)

Have a 100/100 relationship with your partner

Create animal sculptures on the woodworking table to give to your child

Generation Eight: Kobra Kid

You’re the master of having a resting bitch face. And you also wear sunglasses pretty much 24/7. So no one can tell if you’re happy, mad, sad- any emotion that a person can feel basically. You’re also pretty fascinated with snakes, rocks/crystals, cameras, and motorcycles, one of the few things that brings joy to your life.

Traits - Loner, Hot-Headed, Geek

Aspiration - The Curator

Career - Odd Job

Rules:

Have at least 5 flings

Have one failed relationship but remain friends

Collect crystals (you don’t have to complete the collection)

Master the photography skill

Generation Nine: Party Poison

Your color is yellow, which is surprising, considering you have vibrant red hair and are a hothead. Despite this flaw though, you’ve managed to make a decent amount of friends and best of all…find your soulmate. And make some enemies too. All of them make the better side of you come out more…except your enemies, obviously. You also love expressing yourself whenever you get the chance too, whether it’s the clothes you wear, the stuff you sing, or the stuff you paint/draw.

Traits - Hot Headed, Creative, Ambitious

Aspiration - Painter Extraordinaire

Career - Odd Jobs

Rules:

Must marry a goofball

Must have one ex boyfriend/girlfriend

Must adopt one child

Make at least 5 good friends and enemies

Master the singing and painting skills

Generation Ten: The Girl

Growing up you were always told that you were the next hope for this world. At first, you never really understood why. Yeah, you didn’t have a typical childhood, but your parents always tried to make it the best childhood possible. But as you got older, you started to understand more and more. You were gonna be the hero of this world.

Traits - Insider, Cat Lover, Self-Assured

Aspiration - StrangerVille Mystery

Career - Odd Jobs

Rules:

Adopt a stray black cat (can be created in cas if one isn’t found in game)

Defeat The Mother

Master the StrangerVille Mystery aspiration

Again, apologies if this isn’t the best, this is our first time doing something like this. But if you do decide to play this, we hope you have fun! :)

77 notes · View notes

smolwritingchick · 4 months

Text

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 86- WINGS 8

Chapter Summary: After 3 years, Jennie finally dyes her hair for a BTS comeback and films her WINGS 8 Concept video.

Words: 9,000+

Author's Note: Some smol angst regarding Jimin's diet during the BST era. And mentions of anxiety. I apologize in advance :(

I'm going to create a smol chapter when it's around that time for the love yourself videos. I'd like to put my spin on it, not going too much into the crazy theories. I'm hoping to write more of Jen's story for it. And I wonder if I made it obvious who found Jennie for her WINGS video at the end of the chapter. I'll write about all that when it's around 2017 in the story. Some ideas sparked in my head when those videos were released years ago and I kept them in my old documents. I gotta revisit them and check out everything.

I had thought of this idea for her concept video and decided to just stick with it and have fun with it instead of stressing about making her fit "perfectly" in this comeback. Supernatural type of shiz. And I did some research on using a Damien quote from the book to add to it. I think it fits quite well imo.

I lost count of how many times I changed Jennie's WINGS song. It's getting ridiculous at this point. But for this, I decided to go a different route. Jennie has said that she wants to be a versatile artist, especially as she looked up to Rihanna as an inspiration for that, singing in different genres.

I LOVE PVRIS! One of my favorite groups. I'm not too big on their new music and the direction they're going musically these days but am always vibing to their old stuff. I truly miss their old sound tbh.

I decided to choose a song called I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore from PVRIS' latest album, for Jen's song. I really like the vibe as it would showcase her skills on the launchpad and I love the lyrics. I'll probably switch it up a little bit. I wanted her song for WINGS to be blunt and a bit sad. Like literally she is telling people she does not want to do this anymore. She does not want to perform, she does not want to be famous, she wants out, which was how she felt during the situation of her sister's play and getting mobbed by all those people. So, she'll express those negative feelings in the song. And I thought of her changing the lyrics to be more optimistic as the song goes on. Maybe for the chorus. I even thought of the fan chant ARMY would do. She would sing negatively, and they'd respond positively. For instance, when RM sang "I wish I could love myself." for Reflection and ARMY shouted, "WE LOVE YOU!"

So yeah, I think that's it. I'm rambling but I'm not going to overthink it too much when it comes to her song for this album. I had a vision for her WINGS video and I kind of hope it makes sense. So I'm just going to go with the flow :) Happy reading!!

--------

Jennie made it back to America safely and Facetimed the boys to let them know. She was lying on her bed, feeling the jetlag as the boys expressed how much they were already missing her. After speaking to them, she finally had one on one time with Yoongi.

"And thanks again for the cookies. I tried to make them stretch but it was too good," he said. "Now I have to impatiently wait for you to return to make me some more,"

She giggled at that. "Sounds like a plan. I'm happy the mixtape is being well received,"

"Me too. So many streams on SoundCloud. Thank you again for your help,"

"Always. I knew it would do well,"

Once July 31/August 1 hit, How's This was finally released and Jennie got to watch the two Music Videos as well as the jacket shooting. She and Hyuna looked fun and the visuals were astounding. Now, of course, there were those kinds of fans that would complain that Jennie was acting 'too grown'. She already saw tweets about it with fans babying her and saying that she shouldn't act too sexy. But she chose to ignore it and just enjoy what she and Hyuna created.

She thought about the filming as she watched the jacket shooting video.

-------

Dressed in one of many outfits for the video, Jennie and Hyuna awaited instructions while they stood on the set that resembled a club different from the first music video.

"I'm getting more comfortable with this sexy vibe because of you. Doing this with you, I feel at ease. So, I am so stoked to be here with you today," Jennie told her with a smile.

Hyuna looked relieved. "I'm happy. I was a little nervous asking you if you wanted to do this. I sighed out of relief when I got confirmation that this collab was a go,"

When they saw that Cube wanted to film a documentary on this music video, they waved at the camera.

"Today Jennie is with me to film! I am so happy that she is a part of this fun song," Hyuna said, clapping her hands.

"Hi~!" Jennie hugged her from behind, waving to the camera. "We are ready to shoot~!"

"This is going to be fun! Stay tuned!"

Jennie let go of her and cheered, "Fighting!"

"Fighting!" she high fived her.

Jennie was filmed first and they started with shots of her being sexy and having fun inside the club while lip-syncing the song. Walking through the club, she met up with Hyuna who danced along with her. For How's This with the version with Jennie in it, the choreography was different and looked more fluid instead of all the body shaking. In Jen's opinion, this choreography fit better for the song after working on new moves with Hyuna. They performed the choreography in the crowd and then did some twerking shots.

As the crew prepared for the next take, the camera showed Jen and Hyuna talking again.

"How was the first music video shoot?" Jennie asked.

"It was fun! It went well. I kissed one of the guys on camera," Hyuna felt flustered about the mature kiss.

"OOP!" Jen covered her mouth, making her giggle and hold onto her. She turned to the camera and repeated herself, "OOP!"

For another shot, after an outfit change, Hyuna and Jennie danced together behind a background. It reminded them of a honeycomb as they lip-synced.

Before Jen knew it, she was in the area she wanted to film at the most. The DJ booth.

"My happy place. Look at it. I am in love," she pointed over to the DJ booth. "Errbody throw yo hands up, we getting' hot, hot, hot, hotter!" she sang her verse from fire cutely before giggling.

When filming commenced, she approached the DJ and asked if she could take over. Winking at him, she placed the headset on and began mixing for the party while dancing around. The party got more lively once she began to DJ while Hyuna joined her as they lip-synced the chorus.

eottae igeon eottae

eottae chumchuja

Up dwae igeon Up dwae

Up dwae chumchuja

Jen was filmed all over the place for her shots. Hyuna had a lot of shots already from the previous music video and Cube just needed more Jen and then her together with Hyuna. Shots consisted of her lying across a table while lip-syncing, dancing on the table, then filmed against the wall as she flipped her hair and swayed her hips around.

"Is this too much?" Jen giggled as she watched her shots with Hyuna.

'As if looks could kill. Her piercing gaze against the screen flusters Jennie'

"Oh no, I bit my lip," she laughed. "I didn't even notice. Pure instinct. We look good, though,"

The last shot consisted of a dance battle. Jennie had a group of black dancers with her against Hyuna and her dancers.

----------

Jennie smiled at the memory and was excited to perform it live near award season. After watching the videos, she scrolled through Twitter and saw what was going on. BlackPink had recently debuted and she loved their debut music videos. Although she was still hurt about 2NE1, she loved seeing new groups debut.

But because one of the BlackPink members was also named Jennie, it started some fan wars, which made no sense at all.

'Netizens compare BTS' Jennie to BlackPink's Jennie. Who is better?' read the latest controversial ALLKPOP article.

It didn't sit right with BlackPink and BTS fans as the comment section was filled with mixed reactions. It was drama waiting to explode.

'So we have a Black Jennie and a Korean Jennie'

'There can only be ONE Jennie and I choose BTS' Jennie'

'BP's Jennie is what BTS' Jennie wishes she was'

'Ugh STOP already'

'I think BTS' Jennie is better.'

'BP's Jennie has more charisma. BTS' Jennie still hasn't shown what she is all about. Her part in fire was cute but I wish she did more. I kinda gave up on her as my bias and moved on to Jimin'

'LOL I bet BTS' Jennie is threatened by BP's Jennie'

'BlackPink's Jennie showed more effort and energy in her debut than BTS' Jennie. Just stating facts. I'd take BlackPink's debut over BTS' any day'

'Jennie and Jennie. I love it. I hope they meet'

'Are you serious?!'

'Ew wtf is this article?'

'BlackPink's Jennie is still a rookie. She has a long way to go before getting up to BTS' Jennie's level'

'Can you not? This is disrespectful to both girls. They both are doing great'

'I'm tired of people comparing groups. Just love and support both'

'I hope they become friends'

'Eh...BP's Jennie is better and prettier. She wears better outfits too. BTS' Jennie has been looking rough for a while. She gained a few pounds too. I miss her debut look'

'Who cares? They both flop'

'BlackPink's Jennie ain't even all that.'

'The difference is BlackPink's Jennie knows how to rap. BTS' Jennie's little Full Moon cover wasn't that great. She annoying af'

'BTS' Jennie just doesn't have that IT factor like BP's Jennie does.'

'I like Blackpink's Jennie more'

''Stop pitting women against women. It's disgusting'

'Delete this article. They're both great'

Jennie frowned and rolled her eyes at the name of the article and scrolled past to look at something more positive. It seemed like they were trying to get her to reply and react but she refused. First, they did this with Alex Reid, and now BlackPink's Jennie. It needed to stop. She was not going to be the "mean girl" that the media wanted her to be and make people think that she hated or was jealous of other female idols like Alex and Jennie Kim.

The last thing she was going to do was let the media try to make her think negatively about someone whom she hadn't met. She refused to be sucked into this jealous and petty scenario with BlackPink's Jennie. She was excited about what BlackPink would be doing and wished the best for them.

Suddenly she received a notification from V-Live about Hobi going live and began to watch it.

"Oh, that's right. Bangtan is in Japan for their concerts," she murmured.

"We had our concert, tonight. It didn't feel the same without Munchkin with us. Jennie, if you are watching, I hope you are doing well," Hobi said on camera in his hotel room.

"Doing good, missing you guys," she sighed.

But then something weird happened on the live. The comments started bringing up other members. Fans then began to ask for Jungkook, V, Jimin, and Yoongi.

"No, they didn't..." Jennie looked on in disbelief at the comments.

All Hobi wanted was to spend time with Armies and now this happened. It made her upset and then she watched as he went to Jimin's room and then left abruptly after a few minutes. Jimin was also stunned because it was Hobi's phone on the live so what in the world?

Unable to keep her thoughts to herself, she went to Twitter to tweet about it.

'Are you KIDDING me? Did you REALLY just ask for other members while J-Hope was trying to talk to you? #Jen'

'No, like really the amount of disrespect is completely unacceptable. The hell is wrong with some of y'all? #Jen'

'You got me ALL the way f'ed up! Don't ever do that to Hobi #Jen'

'We take time out of our day to talk to you one on one but you ask for the others? You need to consider our feelings and how bad it makes us feel. #Jen'

Her tweets blew up and spread like wildfire as fans were commenting sorry and tweeted sad emojis. A lot agreed with her tweets while some others began to complain that she was overreacting.

'I know right!? Like how dare them?!'

'Ennie, we're sorry'

'These fans are so disrespectful. Please don't think all ARMY are like this.'

'I am so bothered by them doing that crap.'

'omg shut up,'

'You must be one of them asking for other members if you're telling her to shut up. YOU shut up! Jennie is speaking facts!'

'What are you so extra for? Calm down,'

'Here she goes always sticking her nose in everyone's business. All the way in America. Just stay in America and go away,'

'I cannot believe they did that. Ugh'

'GO OFF SIS! This infuriates me! Hobi don't deserve this'

'I'm so sad...'

'We don't deserve him'

'I cannot believe this. And they call themselves an Army?'

'Yeah...my heart is broken'

'IM SOOOOO MAD!'

'The sweetest sunshine ever and gets treated like this. I want to cry'

Jen then tweeted one final tweet before going on a social media break.

'ARMY, don't apologize to me. Apologize to Hobi...#Jen'

Later that evening after Jimin ended the live that was supposed to be him and Hobi, she facetimed him after he got his phone back.

"Hey, Jennie," J-Hope greeted with a fake smile but she saw right through it.

"Nah uh. Don't do that. Screw them for making you feel like that,"

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," he shook his head. "They just want to see the other members,"

"No. I will worry about it. You're upset and bummed out. I understand. I wish I was there to take you out and treat you to food or something. That was so rude of them and they are so ungrateful. Those aren't real fans. Don't let them get to you, okay? You have real fans who love and appreciate you. Love and respect you. Love and support you," she went on as he listened.

"Hobi, they can call me annoying or whatever for my tweets, I don't care. What just happened was wrong and unfair," she declared. "And if you don't want to be vocal about it, then I will because I refuse to sit here and let people do this to you. You don't deserve that. You should get just as much love and affection as the rest of us. I love and cherish you. Always. Don't ever forget that. I'm going to always have your back,"

Hobi broke out into a huge smile at her words and began to feel better. "Thank you, Jennie. I appreciate you cheering me up,"

--------

While being home, Jen spent the majority of her time in her room which was also her mini studio. Although she wasn't physically there with the group to work on their upcoming album, she still did her part and sent in her vocals and instrumentals.

For the WINGS album, she was going to be more involved in the music. For now, everyone is focused on their solo songs. She was first involved in working on Jungkook's song, Begin. Since she had been home, Jungkook had sent her his vocals and asked if he sounded OK. Every time was better than the last which boosted his confidence as he recorded. Jennie's role in his song was to play the guitar.

With her headphones on her ears, she played the guitar smoothly under his angelic vocals. Begin was about his journey to Seoul and meeting Bangtan. It was beautiful. The lyrics did not mention her but talked more about the rest of the boys. His brothers. Jungkook kept apologizing to her about it and said he had something planned for her in the future. She was not bothered by it at all and understood. If anything, her curiosity towards what he had planned for her rose as she thought about what he was going to do.

After sending the music back to Big Hit, she got confirmation that it was great and continued working on the rest of her assigned songs. Next up was Jimin's song called Lie. She worked on the background vocals and guitar for his song. Out of every solo song by the guys, this one was her favorite and she was so proud of him for his efforts. She couldn't help but smile as she listened to the demo track after putting her recorded guitar chords in it.

Closing her eyes, she began to focus on the emotion of the song and pondered on her background vocals. This song was about lying and the conflict due to lies and temptation. So, she wanted to try to have some emotion and desperation in her vocals to fit the tone. She recorded her light breathy 'yeahs' in the beginning and sang 'Naega malhae' under his voice.

Be smooth like a like a snake

beoseonago sipeunde

Hearing an opening instrumental part after his voice, she hummed but shook her head, stopping the song.

"Nah...maybe it should be better. Humming is too common. I should do something different," she pondered, taking off her headphones.

She spent the next hour working on what would fit during that part. Her notebook with crossed out words and random lyrics was all over her papers as she worked on thinking what would work for his song. She wanted something to pop and to be memorable.

"Ah...woo...woo." she wrote down.

She began to sing it out several times in diverse ways until she found a tone that fit with the song.

"I should make it a little haunting when I edit it. A tad bit of autotune or something..."

Putting her headphones back on, she stood by her microphone and pressed record as it played Jimin's song. The first opening notes were clear enough to give listeners one hell of an eargasm. The producers that put the violin and other string instruments were geniuses.

"Yeah," she said in a high, breathy tone while looking at her notebook in her hands.

As soon as Jimin's voice filled her ears, she sang softly under his vocals, "Naege malhae..."

Neoui dalkomhan misoro naege

"Naege malhae..."

soksagideut nae gwitgae malhae

"Yeah. Don't be like a prey, be smooth like a like a snake,"

beoseonago sipeunde

Finding that inner strength in her voice, she belted out, "Ah woo woo~"

naegeseo tteona tteona tteonajwo

naegeseo tteona tteonajwo

"Ah woo woo~"

mworado nareul nareul guhaejwo

nareul guhaejwo

This song was such a bop as she swayed around to the song, focused.

gyesokdwae domangchyeobwado

geojit soge ppajyeoisseo

Caught in a lie!

"I'm drowning, I'm losing myself. I can't disobey, I can't break away..." she sang emotionally under his vocals.

nae useumeul dollyeonwajwo

Caught in a lie!

"This torment gets worse every day."

i gotongeseo heeonal su eobseo

beolbanneun nareul guhaejwo

After recording everything multiple times, she went on to edit and made sure her vocals fit nicely under his. Things were coming together as that bright smile appeared on her face. She was so satisfied with this. She hoped he and the producers like it when they did their final touches.

Her phone buzzed and she sat back in her seat to read a text from Jimin.

Jimin: Ennie, I know you're awake! Don't stress over it too much. Get some sleep, okay? We can work on the song tomorrow.

Jen: Facetime me. I just sent you what I created :D

It didn't take long for them to be on Facetime together as Jimin was thrilled to see her face.

"Ennie! What time is it over there?"

"Late but it's okay," she said and yawned.

"You should really go to bed. You look so sleepy," he looked concerned for her when he noticed her tired eyes.

"I know, I know. I will."

"I miss you," he pouted.

"And I miss you, too. Don't worry, I'll be back in Korea before you know it,"

"Well, I hope it's soon! It's not the same without you here," the 95 Liner shook his head. "The guys...I...we're kind of all over the place without our Bangtan Girl to keep us in order. We're a bit of a mess. It's weird without you. We just want you to come home,"

His words made her heart leap as she felt emotional, yet again. But then the word 'home' struck her. She was already 'home' in America. But the fact that he said 'home' as in living with them in Korea made tears appear in her eyes.

"Jimin..." she smiled sadly. "It won't be much longer, I hope. Being away from you and everyone else in Korea is a struggle. As soon as I come back, I will nap this jetlag off and we can all go out to eat,"

"I would like that very much, Ennie. So, you wanted me to call you?"

"Yes. Check the email. I sent my work for your song. I hope it sounds okay."

"Wait, you finished it?! All of it? Your background vocals and all?"

"Yeah! I just gotta finish up Stigma and the others,"

"You worked on it so quickly."

"Well, you are a priority," she smiled softly, earning an adorable eye smile from him.

Him a priority? That made his heart leap.

"I played around with it and I like how it sounds. Play it. If you like it, I will send it to the producers to see if they give it the OK. And if you want me to change something, let me know."

Opening up the file, Jimin played it for both of them. The look in his eyes when he heard her guitar was priceless.

"Oh-my-God," he blurted out in English, causing her to laugh. "They have to accept this! This is-this is so good! Thank you for doing this for me. I hope this version makes it on the album after they do their final touches. And if they reject it, let us release it on SoundCloud. Army should hear this,"

"Sounds like a plan,"

After shutting down her computer and ending her call, Jen sat on her bed and tuned in to Jin's Eat Jin V-Live on her laptop. There he was with Jungkook and Jimin rambling about various things. And they had her cracking up with their bickering when they playfully fought over snacks.

But once fans brought up Jennie in the comments, her heart ached as she realized how much she missed the guys. Especially Jungkook. She missed his hugs. How he would hold her firmly and gaze down at her with that adorable smile of his. This visa needed to hurry up and go through. She wanted to wrap her arms around her man again.

"How is Jennie?" Jin read the comment. "My sweetie is doing fine. She has been working very hard. Please look forward to her return. Jennie, you are missed dearly,"

She let out a chuckle, "I miss you, too..."

"I miss your baking, too," he added, making her laugh at the screen. "Bake for me when you come back. Just don't tell the others,"

"We're sitting right here, Hyung!" Jimin called out. "Bake for me, not him!"

"Hush!" Jin playfully smacked him while Jungkook laughed. Turning back to the camera like he knew she was watching, he continued. "The dorm doesn't smell that great without your bath and body works items. You know, the ones you always buy for us. Please return soon and get the visa straightened out. I look at your picture in my wallet every day," he showed Armies the photo of him and her back in 2015.

"He still has that picture?" Jen murmured as she smiled.

"Jungkookie misses her the most," Jimin teased, making the Golden Maknae blush and look down shyly.

"Of course, she's my best friend. I bet she misses me more than you two," Jungkook added.

"Lies! I am Jennie's favorite," Jin stated.

Laughing, Jennie went on to text Jungkook.

Jen: Awwww this live is too cute. I miss you guys, more. I'll be back soon. P.S: I miss you the most, Kookie. I love you. Can't wait to hug and kiss you again

Ding!

The sound of bells was heard as Jungkook looked down at his phone. He read her text with a big smile and looked up at the camera like he felt her looking back at him. It made her heart flip and her face warm up with the way he stared at the camera. Meanwhile, Armies were gushing over the loving gaze Jungkook was showing out of nowhere.

'Why tf is he staring so hard like that?! He looks so hot!'

'Omg Jungkook is showing so much boyfriend material right now.'

'That stare! He's making me blush!'

'Jungkook a warning would have been nice!'

"Who was that?" Jin asked.

"Jennie. She's watching the live," Jungkook smiled brightly.

"She texted YOU and not me!?" he complained.

"Hey, that ringtone sounded familiar. Like a bell. Why a bell?" Jimin teased.

"No reason, Hyung. I thought it sounded nice," Jungkook shrugged.

------

The next day, Jennie started to work on her solo song. Bangtan's solos were supposed to go by age. The plan was for her song to be the first but Big Hit switched it and made her song last. The boys had begun filming for their WINGS films while she hadn't yet. A lot of big things will be happening for this comeback. One of them was her hair was finally going to get dyed. She was nervous because everyone had anticipated her having a new hair color since debut and she wanted it to be worth the wait.

With her solo song, she thought the lyrics and instrumentals were fine. But every time she sent it to the producers, they told her something was missing and it frustrated her. How come everyone else's song was fine but her song was getting the most criticism? Her song was different. Experimental even. This wasn't a sound that is usually in BTS. She'd showcase her DJ skills on the launch pad and guitar.

"Do you feel like singing today?" Pdogg asked as she sat on a video call with him and Slow Rabbit.

Jennie furrowed her eyebrows. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because to me, it seems like you don't feel like singing,"

She sighed sharply, trying to not let her annoyance get to her. "I'm doing the best I can,"

"It's missing something, Jennie. It's almost there but something is missing," Slow Rabbit added.

"Look, this is the best I can do," she exclaimed.

"No, it isn't," he shook his head. "I know you can do better to make this song even more enhanced. Shout it out. Scream it,"

"I'm trying to shout it,"

"Well, you aren't shouting it," Pdogg said. "You need to dig down deep and sing out what you're feeling for this song,"

"Here, take a break from working on your song, today. Work on the guitar for 2! 3! and Lost. Send it when you're finished," Slow Rabbit said.

"Fine," she nodded and ended the call.

She sighed loudly out of annoyance and ran her hair back with her hands.

"Fuck my life..." she complained.

She didn't want to work on anything at this point, she was so bothered by what they told her. After a moment of getting herself together, she did what she was told, playing the guitar for Lost and 2! 3!

After she sent it in, she was praised for her efforts and had the rest of the day off from working on music. But her song continued to be on her mind. How much better can she do for this song? What else did they want? What was missing? She did want to sing. She sang as passionately as she could.

"What do you want me to do...?" she complained softly.

She went back to the document for her song and stripped all her vocals to start over. She listened to the instrumental of her song and sighed, understanding what she had to do.

'You want me to go back to that dark place...' she thought.

She didn't want to. She didn't want to think about it. She even had second thoughts about picking this song for this album but it was way too late to change now. This song was to express how she felt the day she got mobbed during her sister's play. Sure, it happened last year but that anxiety she felt and the whole experience still traumatized her. All those hate comments, the pressure, the high expectations, and the growing fame, began to overwhelm her as she realized that she was not a normal teenager anymore.

She'd always appear to have a smile on her face but deep down she was scared and in the back of her mind would always wonder when this would all come crashing down.

That dreaded day of Vienna's play made Jen want to stop performing entirely and just go back home and deal with school, no longer being in the spotlight. To try to grasp what normality she had left. But after the support from everyone after that incident, she wanted to try to face all that negativity and destroy it with positive thoughts once and for all. This would be a start to that. To sing about it and twist it to optimism.

As she sat by her desk, she put her headphones on.

"Okay...let's go back to that nightmare..."

---------

After crying, belting out high notes, and singing out her pain, she made the producers happy with her new and improved vocals and took a break from singing to dance.

Jen continued practicing the choreography for Blood, Sweat, and Tears, which will be BTS' comeback song in October. She was in the living room, performing a demo version of the song while Vienna and Alani were on their phones chilling nearby. Mr. Son and J-Hope sent her videos of where she will be and her choreography for the comeback.

It was...very sexy. This seemed like it was going to be a sexy comeback.

As she worked on perfecting her movements, she sent them recordings of her craft to get feedback.

After dancing for a few hours, she took a break and watched Family Guy with her sisters on the couch.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

A video from Jimin? What was he up to now? Since she left, the boys had sent her funny videos and photos. This was probably one of them.

"Ooo another video? Let's watch it! They crack me up!" Alani said.

"Yeah, why not?" Jennie pressed play while her sisters joined her in to watch.

The video showed Jimin, V, and Jungkook goofing around and practicing BST in the practice room.

"Jungkook! Imagine the floor is Jennie!" Jimin called out.

Out of nowhere, Jungkook did his signature handstand for the song, slowly lowering himself on the floor to grind against it.

"Jennie..." he said in a low voice, smirking at the camera.

"AHHHHHHH~!" her sisters screamed around her while Jen dropped her phone and shrieked.

"He did NOT just do that!" Alani shouted.

"And said your name like that! Are you two-"

"No!" Jen exclaimed, cutting Vienna off with her face flushed.

"You sure!?"

"Yes!"

"I dunno man, that sounded like that's not the first time he said your name like that~!" Alani added.

"Oh my God! Stop!" Jennie covered her face.

Vienna grabbed the phone and replayed it so they could watch the entire video. Her sisters continued to freak out around her from his floor grind.

Jennie was NOT expecting a video like this. She thought it would be meme faces. Not him grinding against the floor.

'Wow, I wish I was under him...' she thought before shaking the dirty thoughts away.

My gosh, what was he doing to her? Everything he was doing made her squirm.

After he finished grinding on the floor, Jin was heard yelling to stay professional while Jimin and V laughed.

Her sisters kept replaying the video, expressing how surprised they were.

"Is this really your boyfriend? Because whew, the duality...girl..." Vienna fanned herself.

"I'm a little nervous about how he can turn into such a cute boy to something like this," Alani added.

"Right? He is so adorable and then he ends up popping out like this. No wonder so many girls swoon over him. Jen, watch out for all them female idols after your man," she teased.

"You know, you were staring kind of hard at the screen," Alani called Jennie out.

"I was not!" Jennie exclaimed as she grabbed her phone.

"She's so flustered," Vienna laughed with Alani.

Alani snatched the phone from her hands and ran to their mom who walked out of the kitchen to see what the ruckus was about.

"Mom! Get a load of this!" Alani laughed.

"Stop it! Give it! Mom, it's not what it looks like! Get off me, V!" Jen shouted as Vienna held her down while Alani showed the video.

"Um...what is he doing to my youngest?" their mom asked, wondering what the heck was happening.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! He was just messing around!" Jen said and got let go.

"You think he was? He looked pretty serious," Vienna teased.

He was just joking...right?

Or perhaps he wasn't. Because her head began to go crazy with the way he said her name so low like that. It'll be something that wouldn't be out of her mind for a while as she plotted a way to get him back for making her so flustered in front of her family.

---------

With Jimin and V, they waited for her to reply. Curious as to why she had not responded yet, they looked back at the message and saw that she had read it. The two burst out into laughter.

"Jungkook, I think you killed your girlfriend," Jimin giggled.

"I did?" he asked, surprised. "What happened?"

"She hasn't responded to the video and left us on read this entire time," V laughed.

"I-I didn't make her uncomfortable, did I?" Jungkook asked with worry.

"Nah, don't worry, it's the other way around, Jungkookie! Hehe, you'll see. Just give her a moment to pull herself together. I'm sure she's quite flustered as we speak because of you," Jimin smiled confidently.

-------

Back with Jennie, she continued to pull herself together. This man may just be the death of her. She then thought about the time she and Jungkook performed the coming of age ceremony in the practice room and recorded themselves. Man, those lyrics...

Jen: Jimin wtf!?

Jen: Wtf is he grinding on the floor so hard for!?

Jimin: kekekeke it took you a while to reply. You liked it, didn't you!?

Yes. Yes, she did.

Very much actually. To the point, she wanted to be the floor.

Jen: Okay yes but he needs to calm tf down! He can't be doing stuff like that when I'm not there! I'm suffering here!

Jen: omfg wait don't tell him I said that!

Jimin: Tell Jungkook. Okay. Got it

Jen: Jimin! NO!

"She liked it," Jimin laughed and showed Jungkook the messages.

Jungkook laughed, feeling his cheeks warm up. A large part of him felt relieved that she liked it.

Maybe they could make it a reality soon.

---------

As the days went by she continued to finish up working on the choreography, and went to Facetime with Jimin. Things were beginning to appear...off about him. And the sad part about it was that she knew.

She knew all too well what was going on.

She didn't want to believe it. She thought that her mind was playing tricks on her but his face was slimming down at a rapid rate and it began to worry her.

"Jimin?" she called out his name softly after he stopped laughing at his story about pranking Hobi.

"Yes, Ennie?"

"Did you eat today?"

Jimin's stomach dropped at her question. Of all days she had to be so observant. He would only eat once a day and tried not to eat a lot to lose as much weight as possible for their next comeback. It was an intense choice and he had already been feeling the side effects such as dizziness and fainting as he tried to work hard on his dancing.

"Yeah, why?" he lied, feeling his heart ache.

He hated lying to her. He knew she would do anything to get him to stop if she had known what he was doing in Korea.

Jennie narrowed her eyes slightly, watching his body language.

'You're lying to me...' she thought sadly.

"I dunno, to me you just look a little smaller in the face," she admitted.

"I'm eating, don't you worry, Ennie," he flashed her an eye smile

"I really hope you are..." she murmured. "Just take care of yourself, please. Promise me that?"

"...I promise."

"Okay...I have to go. I'll talk to you later,"

"A-all right. Bye Ennie,"

"Bye, Chim Chim," she ended the call and exhaled.

"I truly hope you're okay..." she murmured, fearing for the worst.

After her conversation with him, she scrolled on Twitter to check out what Armies had been saying about her while she was away. She was pleased to see how much she was missed.

'I'm so upset Jennie isn't in the ISAC this time because of her visa.'

That made her realize that today was the day everyone would be filming for ISAC. She was bummed she couldn't play volleyball this year. Instead, she would be cheering Bangtan on miles away whenever they sent her videos and photos.

'Whatever team she was supposed to be in volleyball would have won'

'ISAC probably made sure to schedule it when she couldn't attend since they know the other girl idols can't beat her in volleyball. Their loss'

'ISAC knows damn well Jennie will beat every single female idol in volleyball. They just don't want her to shine. They did that for The Boss Is Watching. We didn't forget!'

Snickering at the comment and agreeing, Jennie went on and liked it on BTS' Twitter which quickly got a reaction from fans.

'OMG I KNOW SHE WAS THE ONE THAT LIKED IT!'

'She liked!!'

'Who else would like it from their page? Jennie knows what's up!'

'Ooooo she's watching us'

'Lmaooooo she knows!'

'She soooo petty. The shade!'

'This confirms it!'

-----------

With Jungkook, after filming for the show, he went to visit Namjoon in his studio. He had a lot on his mind regarding his relationship with Jennie. And he felt like Namjoon was the best person to talk to.

"Hyung," Jungkook spoke up.

"Jungkook," he greeted with a smile and gestured for him to come in. "What brings you here?"

"I uh...can I talk to you? I figured you were the best one to talk to about something like this,"

"Yeah, of course. Shut the door and take a seat,"

As soon as Jungkook plopped down on the seat next to him, he sighed. "It's about Jennie,"

"Is everything all right between you two? I know you've been feeling down because of the distance,"

"I'm fine. And yeah, things are great. It's just that...well she...she's just...on my mind a lot lately and I can't stop thinking about her in that way."

Namjoon immediately knew what he meant and nodded.

So, it was about that time, huh?

He had a feeling this was going to be happening sooner or later with how touchy he's been with her, lately. And with that floor grinding video, it didn't just look like a simple video to mess with her.

"I had a feeling this was going to happen sooner or later. Have you told her any of this?"

"No, I...I want to but part of me chickens out,"

"You two talk about everything. Why do you think this conversation will be different?"

"I just don't want to turn her off or scare her away, I guess. Or make things awkward if she's not ready like I am,"

"Communication is key and Nini is extremely understanding. You're overthinking it. She loves you and is not going to be scared away that easily. When you feel ready, speak to her about this. And make sure you two are alone for this conversation. Not when the boys are around and acting loud,"

--------

After spinning around in her seat, Jennie played what she had worked on for Taehyung's solo song, Stigma. She helped with the background vocals with jazzy oohs and ahs. She smiled at how his voice sounded. His high note was astonishing to hear and she couldn't wait to hear it live when they go on tour.

For Suga's solo, First Love, she played the guitar for it and noticed the hidden melody of So Far Away which had gotten her emotional.

"Take a break!" a loud voice startled her. Jennie turned her head to see Alani by her door, arms crossed. "You've been on that thing all day. A break won't hurt. The album ain't going nowhere. And you finished everything so just chill for once,"

"Nooooo, I feel like there is still work to be done," Jen complained.

Alani simply rolled her eyes and left.

"Well, that was easy to get her to leave me alone," she murmured.

While she continued working, she suddenly heard music blasting which happened to be Rihanna's Pon De Replay. Before she knew it, Vienna and Alani came in with a large speaker, dancing.

Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replay

Come, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?

"Oh my God..." Jennie covered her face with her hands, laughing softly. "Really?"

"Come on~! Living room, let's go!" Alani said over the music, holding the speaker.

"Rihanna dance party! Take a break! No more album work, today!" Vienna grabbed Jennie and dragged her downstairs with them.

After Alani set the speaker on the floor, she continued to dance around Jennie with Vienna.

"No more thinking about work today. Loosen up and dance with us. It's Rihanna! Come on~!" Alani exclaimed, earning a sigh from her youngest sister. "If you ready to move say,'"

"Yeah, yeah!" Jen sang with a smile.

"One time for your mind say it,"

"Yeah, yeah!" her smile got wider and she joined in to dance with them. "Well, I'm ready for ya, come let me show ya. You want to groove, I'ma show you how to move. Come, come,"

"There you go~!" Vienna cheered.

It was good to take a break and Jen was thankful for her sisters. She did feel overwhelmed with this album dropping in October. There were high expectations and she wanted to make sure she did everything she could to make the songs great with the small role she was given.

Where Have You Been came on as Vienna tried to remember the choreography.

Where have you been?

'Cause I never see you out

Are you hiding from me, yeah?

Somewhere in the crowd

"I learned it in a dance class a while back. Hold on," Vienna began to think as she stood in the middle of her sisters.

Once the beat dropped, she executed the dance break with no errors while her sisters followed her.

"Oh~! I remember! From the music video!" Alani added.

"When Rihanna and the dancers did that pose that looked like an eye? Top tier!" Jen praised.

"Yeah, that was the coolest thing," Vienna beamed.

As songs like What's My Name, Hard, and Umbrella came on, the trio sang their hearts out while bouncing around the living room and on the couch. Once Breakin' Dishes blasted on the speaker, they became excited since it was one of their favorite Rihanna songs.

"I was waiting for this one!" Vienna yelled happily.

"Are we singing it like we usually do?" Jennie asked with anticipation.

"Let's switch it up!" Alani suggested.

"All right, I'll go," Vienna offered.

He been gone since 3:30

"3:30!" Jen shouted.

Been coming home lately at 3:30

"3:30!"

As the chorus came on, the trio danced around, pretending to be angry while shouting out the lyrics.

I'm breakin' dishes up in here, all night

I ain't gon' stop until I see police lights

"I'm still waiting, come through the door. I'm killing time, you know, bleaching your clothes!" Jennie sang the second verse like she was tired of a man's BS. "I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire. And what I'm burning is your attire. I'm getting restless,"

"Uh!" Alani shouted.

"I'm getting tested!"

"Let him know!"

"And I can't believe he's always out every night and never checks in!"

"He cheating?"

"Is he cheating? Man, I don't know. I'm looking 'round for something else to throw!" Jennie grabbed a pillow and threw it.

After spending the next hour partying to Rihanna's songs, Jennie went to plug in her music and pressed shuffle. Fall Out Boy's Irresistible came on which made her smile.

"Hey, didn't you make a cover of this song recently?" Vienna asked.

"Uh huh!" she beamed, thinking about the series of covers she had done and posted on BTS' SoundCloud for ARMY.

"Did Fall Out Boy notice you, yet?"

"Yeah! I met them! They're so cool! I hope we can collaborate, soon!"

---------

With Matt Rife, he continued to search on social media about Jennie, getting to understand who she was and what she did. He even checked out some fan accounts about her and thought she was even cuter than he anticipated. What surprised him the most was that she was taking self-defense classes. Her teacher had posted a recent video of her throwing him over her hip for a quick takedown after grappling him. Matt was astonished by how strong she was.

What a beauty.

He scrolled through the comments as fans geeked out that she was doing fine in America and raved about how strong she was.

'Omg she really did that!'

'I feel bad for the members if they try to mess with her now, lol'

'RIP Jin! She's preparing for their wrestling match!'

'Can she throw me like that on the ground?'

'If she throws me like that, I would say thank you'

'She can punch me in the face anytime!'

'MOM!'

'Wow, she's so strong'

'I love that she's taking self-defense classes. I want to take them now.'

Soon after, he couldn't help himself and wrote a comment too.

'@JJennie_JW you can throw me like that anytime ;)'

And of course, he was told by Armies to back off.

---------

For a while, ARMY began to notice a shift in Jungkook's demeanor. He did not seem as happy as he usually was and his jokes weren't common like they used to be. Sure he'd smile and laugh whenever he was with the members but the truth was that this distance between him and Jennie was difficult to adjust to. It did make him ponder about this being a preview for when he goes off to the military.

Twitter noticed his attitude change and made threads about him being unhappy. Along with that, people were asking about Jennie and her future with BTS because it seemed like she wasn't doing anything or being involved anymore.

'Okay WHERE is Jennie? Thread'

'Guys Jennie has not been active with BTS in a while. She has not been with them for their recent concerts or V-Lives and I am worried something bad happened'

The thread went on to come up with various theories on the matter while armies were quick to put in their two cents.

'I hope she isn't leaving BTS.'

'Yeah, where tf is she? And she hasn't posted anything in a while! That's unusual! BTS stay posting but there is nothing about her these days'

'They talk about her on vlive so that's a good sign things are fine, right?'

'You think she fought with a member or something?'

'Come to think of it, maybe that's why Jungkook has been looking off these days. They may have fought and aren't on speaking terms'

'Like you see the body language of Jungkook lately? They had a bad argument and aren't friends anymore'

'What? What kind of mess is that? That's a dumb theory'

'You guys are dumb. It's her VISA'

'A visa doesn't take that long to go through. She should be back by now'

'Come to think of it, yeah, you may be right. I'm sure things are finished by now and she could come back to Korea'

'I think her visa is taking longer than usual and that's why. Relax,'

'Maybe Big Hit is just letting her spend more time with her family like the perfect company they are!'

'Nah, Big Hit is sabotaging her. She should be back with Bangtan'

'No, they're probably letting her spend more time in America before coming back. They're a great company and allowing her to spend time with her family. Calm down'

'No, they're not a great company! They are ruining her! She needs to get out of there. I hate seeing her inactive'

'All y'all need to just trust that things with Jennie are going to be fine. Stop making everyone anxious about this. Jennie is still with BTS'

Since Jennie still couldn't go back to Korea yet, the staff decided to fly to America to film her Wings 8 video. They rented a big space to make sure they had all they needed for the short film. The company decided to have her video and song be the last ones out of the group. The solo videos were going to begin getting released around September 4th and her video was scheduled for September 19th before they changed plans and made her show up last.

Despite working on the album, Big Hit still wanted her to remain off social media. It had been hard since she wanted to engage with fans and shout out other idol groups for their comebacks like Monsta X and Got7 but she did what she was told.

'Short Film Making Story'

'#Evermore'

With the camera filming her getting ready, she happily waved to it and began to speak.

"Hey, it's your girl Jennie and today I am here to film my Wings short film! And look! My hair is finally dyed! Frickin red! Ahhh~!" she cutely jumped up and down and showed it off before letting the stylist continue their work. "Now y'all can stop asking me every single comeback! I mean look at this! Look! This hair is amazing! I look so good! I'm glad I went through with it. Red looks great on me! Rihanna vibes!"

"She cried," the stylist put her on blast.

'Miss Bangtan Is Put On Blast'

Jennie stared at the stylist, astounded. "I-I didn't cry!"

"Yes, you did. You were like, 'Oh God please let my hair be okay. Please don't let it fall out or get damaged,'" the stylist teased.

"Shut it!"

Jen went over to the set that looked similar to an airport as she wore jeans and a black and white hoodie with a messy bun.

"I have no idea what the guys are doing for their short films," she added. "But since I'm here in America, the staff came here so we can film. Even though I'm having some visa issues, that doesn't mean I'm stopping my bag. We're making this work. I want you to see a different side of me for this comeback. I hope you look forward to it and keep cheering me on,"

She was given a bag to carry as the stylists did the finishing touches to her hair and makeup.

"I'm supposed to be playing three people today," she announced to the camera with a nervous expression. "My regular self as you see now and then my dark and good personas. Kind of like an angel and a devil on your shoulders. It's going to be cool how the video is going to be created."

"Action!" the director announced.

Jen went on with the role, walking through the airport, clutching her bag. She looked around frantically before rushing into the women's bathroom.

After recording her walking a couple of times to get all the right angles, she was then filmed in front of a bathroom sink. She placed her palms on it with a troubled facial expression as she stared at herself in the mirror. Before she knew it, she backed away, startled, and began to look confused.

For the scene with her back in the home she was in for the I Need U MV, she did a costume change, wearing a black suit with a black lace bodysuit under it. This time she was playing her evil persona with her hair down.

"I lowkey always wanted to play an evil person. I wonder how long it'll take for me to get into character. My sister helped me practice for the role. I hope she likes my acting and doesn't roast me for it. My acting lessons will pay off too!" she laughed. "I'm supposed to be speaking to myself. It'll be weird speaking to air but in the video, it'll have all three of me in the shot. So, you'll see how it all develops,"

Once she heard action, Jennie leaned her back against the counter and glanced over nonchalantly at her dead ex who was on the floor.

"Welp..." she murmured coldly and turned to where her other self would be leaning over the counter. "Hey. Pull yourself together."

'Jennie channels her inner evil self with charisma'

"Come on, let me take over. I'm tired of this 50/50 fight," she said smugly like she was looking at the good persona of herself.

For the last shot, Jennie sat in the waiting room of the airport, playing some notes from her solo song on the guitar. While she played, someone walked over to her which caused her to stop and acknowledge the person. The camera remained on her, only showing the person's footsteps to keep viewers guessing who had found her.

Once the director announced that the shot was finished, everyone cheered while Jennie happily jumped out of her seat and bowed politely.

"Thank you! Woo! I'm done~! Yay! I can't wait for the video to drop! Look forward to it ARMY!" she waved goodbye to the camera.

-----

Wings 8: Evermore

"I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?" Jennie narrated from Demain before the screen faded in to reveal her feet running through the airport.

It panned up to her back as footsteps and her heavy breathing were heard. She had been running and slowed down the pace to speed walk. There was hardly anyone in the airport as she looked around, clutching her bag tightly with her guitar on her back. She appeared troubled as several thoughts went through her mind like she did something regretful and thought someone was going to find her.

All that was on her mind was that she had to leave. Asap. She could not stay here. Not after what happened.

Finding the women's bathroom, she rushed into it and set her bag and guitar down against the wall. Jen exhaled sharply, and approached a sink, placing her palms on it. Slowly, she looked up to meet her reflection in the mirror.

"You're okay..." she whispered to herself.

She looked fine but on the inside, she felt like hell. Upon looking at herself, she was startled when a woman that looked exactly like her, stared at her from behind. Only not in a bun but with her hair down and black clothing.

This dark figure she stared at smirked softly, which caused Jennie to look confused.

What was going on? Why was she staring at herself wearing different clothes and hair? The dark figure even had the same white butterfly necklace in contrast with the dark clothes.

Jen tilted her head to the side and watched as the figure copied her movements. She then tilted her head to the other side and watched as the figure did the same. Swiftly turning around, she was met with nothing. The woman was gone.

She took a few steps forward. Okay, maybe she was imagining things.

But little did she know, the dark figure was behind her. When Jennie turned around, her face was cupped into the dark figure's hands, and her forehead pressed against hers, ending the shot as the screen went black.

For the next shot, Jennie was back at home where she was in for the I Need U MV. She had on the same white dress from the MV with the messy bun still intact.

She stood against the kitchen counter with her forearms on it. Her face remained emotionless as she thought about what had just happened.

The camera panned over to the feet on the floor that belonged to her ex. To ease her nerves, she tapped her shaky fingers against the glass of water she had in her hands. Her mind began to fog up with negative thoughts about her fate.

Abruptly, the dark persona of hers leaned her back against the counter, crossing her arms. She glanced at the body nonchalantly.

"Welp..." her dark persona spoke coldly. She had no remorse for the man. She turned to Jennie and watched as she was still in a state of shock. "Hey. Pull yourself together..."

A loud sigh was heard as Jennie's good persona stood on the other side, facing the counter. She wore a white suit and her red hair was straightened. A black butterfly necklace was placed around her neck as she stared at the body sympathetically. She placed a hand on Jennie's shoulder.

"Are you all right?" her good persona asked.

"Of course, she is. He got what he deserved," her dark persona answered, earning a frown in return.

"It was an accident,"

"An accident? Please...if he's dead, he deserved it," her dark persona bluntly replied.

"She is not a bad person," her good persona denied and removed her hand from Jennie.

"That's where you're wrong. There's a bit of evil in all of us and you know it," her dark persona turned to Jennie who continued to look forward. A wicked smile crept on her lips. "I bet that felt good...tempting..."

"It was a scary situation she was put in. It didn't feel good at all. She's full of remorse,"

"To you. She's more like me now and soon she will become all of me,"

"She will never become what you are. Not while I'm here,"

"Look around you," the dark persona gestured, briefly looking around. "Look at what happened. This is her true self,"

"This is not her,"

"Yes, it is. She won't be needing you, anymore. Come on, let me take over, I'm tired of this 50/50 fight,"

"She'll atone. I'm not giving up on her,"

"Well, it certainly wasn't you that she channeled to do what she did. You're too soft. Enough was enough."

The good persona ignored her and leaned toward Jennie's ear. "You are still a good person. You defended yourself. It was self defense."

Having enough, the dark persona grabbed Jen by the chin and turned her head slightly, speaking in her ear as she glared at his body. "Look at what you've done. Look at him suffer! He deserved every bit of it! This was what you wanted to do for a very long time. This was building for weeks!" she began to shout angrily. "These men think they can do whatever they want to us, say whatever they want, disrespect us, and hurt us?! No. They did it to the wrong one this time,"

Jennie seemed to have slowly gotten out of her shocked state when she heard a loud groan from the floor.

So he was still alive...

That calmed her nerves a bit as Jennie managed to walk across the counter to stand and look at his weakened state. He faintly called out her name in anger, uttering out curses.

"Huh. So, the piece of shit is still alive," her dark persona said with a scowl as she stood next to Jennie with her arms crossed.

"Good. There's still time," her good persona said, standing on her other side.

"No..." her dark persona turned to Jennie. "You know exactly what to do...end it,"

"No. Don't throw it all away. You're better than this. You are not alone and you know which route to take," her good persona said as the trio looked at the man on the floor.

Back to reality, Jennie had awakened in the waiting area of her flight thanks to her phone notifications going off. She also noticed that it was getting close to her flight arrival and more people were showing up at the airport.

Curious about the messages, she went through them and noticed it was all about whether she was all right which made her tear up. Everyone was asking for her whereabouts. But she had to ignore it and keep moving forward. She needed to leave.

Before she could turn her phone off, the person she wanted to avoid the most began to call. She hesitated to answer as she stared at the caller ID while the camera didn't show who was calling.

Placing her phone back into her bag, she grabbed her guitar out of the case and began to play the opening notes of her song to distract herself.

The camera panned to the floor to show footsteps approaching her and they stopped near the row she sat at. As Jen stopped playing, the instrumental of her song continued to play in the background.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she let out a breath and acknowledged the hand. She then slowly turned her head to look up in the direction of the individual she predicted to find her as the screen faded to black.

"Looks like you found me..."

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