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belethlegwen · 1 year

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The Faerie Spell - Chp 4

Chapter One: Click Here Previous Chapter: Click Here Chapter Directory: Click Here Words: 5542 Summary: Gem, Daphne's nicest friend, takes her out for dinner and a hang out, but wants to have some... uncomfortable conversations.

Gem tried. Gemima really did try, and really did care, and I could always tell that about her. She was an incredibly nice and caring person, always, even before all of this happened! She was one of my favourite people to be around because she just always sort of inspired me to be a better person.

Gem was one of those people who was so nice that it always seemed like it just came so naturally to her. Like she could just sense when someone needed help in some way, and she had already thought of a thousand ways to help that person and was doing the best one, always. I realize now that that whole aura was the result of many many years of practice. She had helped so many people with problems so many times, that she was like a chess Grandmaster in a way; she could tell based on what moves you had already made, what moves you were going to make, and what moves she needed to make in order to set that board up exactly how she wanted it to be.

Sitting in a cup-holder of her car that had been stuffed with soft, fleecy fabrics and cotton balls, I was coming to finally understand that she had never seen these moves before. She hadn’t seen any of these pieces before, when it came to me and my problem.

But she was trying. I guess I can’t really… get mad at her about that.

“I figured this would be easier than the purse or the seatbelt again,” Gem’s voice got my attention and I looked up as she continued to drive us to her house. My arms were braced against the sides of the cup holder as much as they could be, trying to stop me from getting slammed into the sides of it whenever we braked, started moving again, or turned. I was straddling-- to the best of my ability-- the amplifying stone AND the protection stone at the same time to try and make the ride a little bit less… hazardous, and to help her hear me while she had to keep her eyes on the road.

“It’s uh…” I started, shuddering at the thought of the seatbelt and how awful that experiment had been, and the purse hadn’t been awful but at the time I did feel exceptionally removed from all of the conversation going on, like I had been kind of forgotten about in there. That was the second time this had happened though, so… I imagine it would be better by now? Or I hope? Still though, I didn’t want to discourage her from trying. She was the only one who really seemed to consider me in these equations. “It’s better than the seatbelt, for sure,” I offered as cheerfully as I could manage. If it weren’t a cup holder and it weren’t a moving vehicle, this would actually be a nice change from the doll furniture.

“Oh, that’s good,” she replied warmly, sounding relieved. Her eyes dropped down just a second to smile at me before I wound up flopping forward as we braked at another red light. Gem lived clear on the other side of town from me now, and the city was a shit place to drive during rush hour.

There was another long pause. Normally Gem gabbed while she was driving like it was the only way she knew how to exhale, but something had been on her mind ever since she came to get me from the apartment, and this whole adventure had been awkward as all hell. I knew I was to blame for it. Gem hated anyone fighting, and that’s all I had managed to do with damn near everyone, in front of her, the entire day. If I were to put money down, I imagine the hesitating was due to her fighting in her head over whether she needed to focus on making me feel better and helping me through this stupid bout of curse-itis, or whether she needed to make sure I ‘understand the power of my words when dealing with interpersonal matters’ or something.

“Sooo…” she started on a drawl, me trying to listen to her while avoiding motion sickness as best as I could in the rock-tumbler of a seat I was in. “I know… I know things were hard for you this morning. I know things are tense at the apartment with Sheri right now…”

Oh boy, here it comes.

“I just… I wanted to apologize for how our call went earlier. I know it hurts to think we’re talking behind your back, but I want to assure you that’s not the case. Sheri just messaged me to let me know that you were in a bad spot, and she did tell me you two had been fighting when it happened.”

I stared straight ahead. Losing my bet aside, Gem was lying to me.

Cal had told me about their group chat. Like, I know I can’t say much-- I have a group chat with all of them that Sheri isn’t in that I’m sure she also knows about based on her comments this morning about me bitching about her to Cal or whoever she thinks I’m bitching about her to, but of all the people I really expected to just… lie to me in all of this, Gem wasn’t it.

“I’ve been… I’ve been a little worried, about your situation in the apartment, if I can be honest,” she said quietly, turning the blinker on and slowing down again. My arms were feeling exhausted from trying to hold me up and away and stopping me from bouncing around the center console like ice in a martini shaker. It was obvious she was waiting for me to reply as I caught her glancing down at me in my periphery, but I really didn’t know how to process any of what was happening.

Like yeah, ok, we started the group chat without Sheri in it so that I had a safe place to vent and ask for help with how to deal with her because we had always kind of been butting heads a bit, and then this shit happened, and yeah I kind of needed a place where I could go to like… have some other eyes but mine on her. Gem encouraged that, Gem said it was good and healthy and a safe space for that kind of thing.

…But shit, did they already have a group chat without me going? I mean, it would make sense that Gem and Sheri would talk about me in DMs and stuff when Sheri needed to, they were the ones who were closer friends before me and Sheri became roomies, but… Sheri and Cal don’t get along. They never really have. Mak gets along with everyone the same, kinda? I’ve never gotten a good read on Mak… fuck, did Mak secretly hate me? I mean, we don’t talk a lot, and maybe he talks to everyone else more-- he used to be roomies with Cal, so he’d invite Cal into a group chat just to shit talk me and stuff, and that would make sense and--

“I didn’t mean to upset you or anything…” Gem’s voice was soft, and I shook myself out of my worry spiral to glance up at her. Somewhere in the middle of all of this we had parked, presumably at her apartment building, and her eyes were the size of two moons as they peered down at me over an extremely concerned expression. “I just… I don’t think that the situation in your apartment is great for you, like this… and if you’d be ok with it, I mean-- I’ve got lots of space at my place. I have a few things in your scale, I don’t know if they’re like… any better than what you have but…”

Oh god.

Gem was asking me to… crash at her place? Move in with her? I hadn’t been paying attention, and I had no idea if I had missed something in the middle here.

“I, uh…” I drawled, my arms lowering and immediately making me flinch from how sore they were. “I mean… it’s my apartment,” I started. “I was there first. I don’t… I feel comfortable there, and--”

“Shhhh,” Gem hushed me from above and I grimaced. “I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like… it’s not a forever thing and I don’t want you to feel pressured. I guess I just wanted you to know that if things are really as bad over there as they seem, especially like… today, that my door is always open, ok?”

She was being nice. I know she was being nice.

But… now I had to wonder. Was this even her idea? Who was she being nice to, right now? Did Sheri bitch about me in their secret group chat so much that Gem thought it’d be best to get me out of Sheri’s way? Let Sheri have some time away from ‘taking care of me all the time’? My eyes dropped to the stones by my feet and I moved a little to start picking them up. Gem’s hand moved in automatically for me to lay them on, ready to take them. “Thanks, Gem,” I managed to get out after swallowing every weird doubt and concern I had. I was so tired. Why even keep fighting, at this point? “I’ll keep it in mind, for sure.”

Gem’s smile was in her voice, and it was one of the few moments I wish I could shrink smaller. So small no one could even see me. “Alright. You ready to go get some food, girlfriend?”

Cal had forbidden me from telling anyone about their secret visit, the weed, or the twinkies, so I just nodded, plastering a smile on my face as I grabbed onto her offered fingers. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Gem, like everyone else, had her own particular way of picking me up. It seemed to have fifty different steps involved, but it was gentle and honestly… it was nice to have someone take their time with me after everything else that had happened already today. She kind of moved me back and forth between her two hands to get me up and out of the cup holder until I was seated in her palm, her hand cupped like a bowl, and then she’d place her free on me whenever she didn’t need it for anything, covering most of me and just keeping me there.

It was… a little suffocating, especially because she made a point to basically press her hands to her chest as well. I guess she did it for stability, or to keep me close enough she could hear me in case I wanted something. We had never talked about it, mostly because Gem did all of the talking, but we were still in this weird, awkward quiet spell again.

“What were you, uh, thinking for food?” I asked as we traveled to her apartment. I shuddered in her hands as the elevator started and stopped, just glad we weren’t running into anyone. Gem knew I wasn’t too keen on being seen like this after the Witch kicked me to the curb, and her reaction was always to just suddenly cover me with both hands and almost force me into a ball. It couldn’t be subtle, not for anyone looking at her, but I guess Gem was just… nice enough? Weird enough? To get away with looking like she was smuggling a small bird around.

“I prepped veggies earlier to make a stir-fry,” she said happily over me, the sound of her voice reverberating against me with her hands pressed up against her chest like they were. God it was unsettling the first few times it happened whenever we wound up like this. “I was thinking if nothing else, the rice and sauce should be ok if I can’t get the veggies small enough for you?”

“The rice and the sauce would be perfect,” I lied.

I didn’t have plates and cutlery at my size. We honestly hadn’t figured anything like that out yet. I had seen a bit online when I was shopping for the furniture but I just… refused to get any. That seemed like I was giving up; like I was accepting this, somehow, and I wasn’t ready for that, I guess. I normally made do by just… eating dry foods or things that were easier to handle. Something swimming in sauce, when I would basically be using my bare hands, in literally just my pajamas that I’d be stuck in for I have no idea how long… not ideal.

But Gem was happy, and I was just so fucking tired of disappointing people or upsetting people or arguing with people today. So, why the hell not let her have this?

Turns out that plates and cutlery were uh… not going to be a problem, though.

I remember when the door opened and I immediately felt a bit creeped out. I knew that Gem had collected dollhouses and stuff, she had been the one to turn me onto those miniatures kits I kinda wanted to get into before it became, y’know, my life. She had ordered me the ‘beach house bungalo’ kit after the Witch refused to break my curse and this looked like it was going to be a more long-term problem.

But to wander in and see just… doll-furniture, set up everywhere… It was upsetting and I couldn’t quite pin down why. Like, should I have been upset about this? She had asked earlier in the day if I wanted her to come get me and I didn’t say no, it’s not totally out-there to assume she would’ve been expecting me to drop by at some point while this was happening it just--

“Again, no pressure,” she said as her hands suddenly pushed away from her body and we went on the agonizingly slow-and-steady descent to the dining room table that was just around the corner from her entrance hall, “but I just… I feel like it would be more comfortable here, for you? At least better than back home until Sheri calms down a bit and you two can relax a bit more around each other.”

“I don’t see why Sheridan can’t relax,” I snapped as she finally lifted the ‘safety hand’ off the top of me and let me stand. “It’s not like I’m hard to avoid while I’m down here, and aside from getting set up with food I don’t need anyone’s help.”

Gem sighed as she stood back up and started to take off her coat and things. She had forgotten to give me back my stones. “You do need help when you’re down there, traveling around the house isn’t exactly easy for someone your size and--”

“That’s why I bought the stairs and ladders, actually,” I called as I approached the chair and table set-up she’d presumably put out for me on one of the placemats. She had set up two chairs with it but only one place-setting. I picked up a tiny fork and grimaced; it was plastic, and didn’t feel extremely sturdy even at my own size, but I guess it was better than nothing. “I even gave myself a way to get in and out of the cupboard I keep my snacks in, so I can just--”

“That’s not safe,” Gem’s voice shot back softly but firmly as she hung her coat on the back of one of the chairs and went back to the porch to kick off her shoes into the boot tray. She was literally too far away to argue with, especially with my amplifying stone somewhere in her pocket, still. “What if you got trapped in there? No one would know where to find you.”

I kind of wanted to kick over this stupid little table. I knew for certain that I could get out of the cupboard, I had done all the testing myself when this had happened while Sheridan was at work; it was one of the times I was lucky enough to have my phone on me. None of them had even known it had happened until hours into it when I felt I had no choice but to let someone know. I was preparing to argue as she made her way back, but she detoured into the kitchen instead and just kept shouting to me.

I hated the way people shouting sounded, even from a distance. There was a weird rattle and strain in their voices that you don’t really notice when you’re normal that comes through when you’re this pathetically small, and no matter how much I tell them I can hear them even if they talk at a regular volume, they either forget or just never listen in the first place.

I had stopped reminding them when I realized that they were stepping into other rooms to ‘discuss’ me when this happened. Most of the time they were just worrying, and trying to figure out ways to help me out without upsetting me more, but still… I just wish I could be part of those conversations.

“Sheri also doesn’t like the stairs and ladders,” Gem was continuing from the kitchen, “she thinks they’re in the way.”

“What are they in the way of, vacuuming?” I muttered, huffing as I plopped into one of the dining chairs and trying to find a position that was comfortable. It was unsanded, so my pajamas kept getting stuck a bit on the pressboard fibers.

“I don’t think they’re actually in the way, I think she might just be worried about you maybe getting under foot when she’s moving around the house and doesn’t want to hurt you.”

Was this another lie? Was she trying to cover for Sheri or just trying to make me feel better, or both? My arms wrapped around myself as I heard Gem get started on cooking. She was probably going to be in the kitchen for a while, and unsurprisingly all of her preparations for my visit didn’t involve letting me access the floor or anything else.

“Maybe it’d be a good idea to put them away once you're normal again. I’m sure if you say you’re doing it out of respect for her, she’d be willing to put them back for you when this happened.”

Fat fucking chance. I have to go into her room once a week to clear out the soda cans before black mold starts to form, the woman was never going to take any kind of initiative to carefully put my actually pretty expensive stairs and ladders back around the house unless I asked, and then I’m sure it would just turn into more bitching about how I’m always on her case.

“Are you listening?” Gem asked with concern as she leaned her head out through the weird kitchen-window situation that all of the apartments from this era came with. I cupped my hands around my mouth and then did a large gesture with one arm, pretending to be shouting. I had learned pretty early that it was easier on my throat to fake it until they got the point in moments like this. “Oh, shoot… right.”

Gem muttered apologies as she scurried out of the kitchen with the stones in hand, and I futilely tried to point at the blue one while she tried to remember which was which. “TURQUOISE,” I shouted up at her when it was obvious she wasn’t going to bring them remotely near me until she had solved this puzzle on her own, and she almost jumped at the sound.

“You don’t need to yell,” she reprimanded me while laying the stones on the table and pushing the blue one closer to me with a finger. God, she was like my mother. “Come on, we’ll have this conversation while I cook.”

Her hands landed in the shape of a boat next to me as I walked over and put my bare foot on the stone. “I’m fine to talk from here now, actually, so--”

“Daph,” she said. Again: way too much like my mother. “I’d like to have this conversation with you, I think it’s important that you hear me out and we talk through--”

“I can do that fine from here now, really,” I said firmly, crossing my arms as I looked up at her. I needed to remind myself to see a chiropractor when I was finally back to normal again, or a massage therapist. Something for my aching neck, anyway. Speaking of setting reminders, actually; “Could I have my phone back, too, please? I want to set some notes for myself, for when this is done.”

Gem left her hands on the table and just stared at me with an unamused expression. “I’ll let you have your phone in the kitchen. C’mon, the pan’s almost heated and I don’t want the oil to start smoking.”

Just. Like. My mother.

This is why I stopped going home for Christmas.

I sighed, making sure it was audible with the enchantment before I took my foot off of the stone and hefted it into my arms. At my current height it was the same size as a corgi, so not the easiest thing to lug around, but it at least didn’t weigh anymore than like, fifteen pounds or something by my guess. The crew always said I looked kind of like an ant the way I could lug things around at my size. Kind of hated that comparison, but anyway… Gem tipped one of her hands down for me to walk onto and we did the slightly-awkward shuffling as she insisted on doing this boat-carry. I refused to look up at her face any more, for one: because my neck hurt, and for two: I didn’t want to see that ‘proud’-- and kinda condescending-- smile she made when someone made a ‘hard but important choice for themselves’.

“I’m fine on the little table behind you,” I tried to direct her as she seemed to be lining up to put me on the counter right next to the stove-top.

“I want to be able to look at you while we have a conversation,” she said, her hands still slowly lowering, undeterred. She seemed to be fine with not looking at me while we were ‘having a conversation’ as she yelled at me from here earlier, but I didn’t want to bring it up.

“Can I go up in one of the cupboards, then? It’d keep me more at eye-level, my neck is starting to--”

“That’s a bit high for you, isn’t it?” She asked, jostling me just a little with a sudden stop as she looked up at the wall-mounted cupboards and frowned in thought.

“I’m not going to be trying to get down without your help,” I said, trying to sound as neutral as I could manage. If I got annoyed, I imagine this probably wouldn’t go anywhere I wanted to. I felt her hands almost start to lower again and pulled out the last card. “It’d keep me out of the hot-oil splash zone.”

Gem’s hands redirected so quickly I felt myself sink deeper into her palms and my stomach lurched. I took a glance at her face as she raised me up almost level with it and saw that she seemed almost embarrassed she hadn’t thought of that. There was some shuffling as she carefully-- almost painfully slowly-- tipped me into one palm and then put me in the cupboard. I hopped off quickly with my stone under one arm and turned around to help guide my phone in, but she had already turned to the pan below.

“Anyway,” she started, and it became obvious I’d be waiting at least a bit more on the phone, “I just think there should be a bit more compromise for what the living situation is back at your apartment right now to keep everyone happy.”

“Gem, I do literally all of the cleaning.” Maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt about it, but I was kind of done with this entire day, and this whole entire situation. The past two months had been hell and there was basically no end in sight. Gem’s mouth opened to argue and I cut her off, sitting down on the stack of “small” plates next to me. “I’m not kidding, Gem. I do her laundry-- which I know she’s been bitching about because this has happened twice now before I was able to get laundry done and she always waits until the end of the week to bring me any. I do the floors, I do the counters and the bathroom. I don’t know if she realizes you can unload a dishwasher almost the exact same as you load it, but loading the dishwasher and sometimes remembering to run it is the only stuff she does.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Gem said, her eyes jumping up to look at me. “She feels under appreciated, and it’s causing her a lot of stress, especially with how she’s been--”

“Been what, exactly?” I asked, crossing my legs and leaning back. It was actually kind of nice to be eye-level with someone; at the very least, Gem’s expression seemed like she was taking me more seriously up here.

“Well,” my gigantic friend drawled, her eyes dropping back to the pan as she dumped more veggies in. The noise was irritating as all hell at this size, and at this close, but the cupboard did an ok-enough job of drowning out the worst of it, I suppose. “She has to be the one to drive to the grocery store and pick things up now, and when you need to go anywhere, she’s always on call to drive you--”

“Groceries, another thing I was doing completely by myself before this all happened,” I shot back. “She’s had to do them two times since this all happened and both of those times she just tagged along as a babysitter for me. The other times I’ve gone, I had Cal or you with me, remember?”

“I’m trying to have a conversation with you,” Gem grumbled, shooting me a look as she started reaching for her spices and sauces. “The point is that she’s having to do more than she was used to, and it’s been hard for her to adjust.”

“Gem.”

I watched her sigh and pretend she didn’t hear me as she stirred everything. I had to admit, it at least all smelled really good.

“Gem,” I repeated, a bit louder.

“I know this is a harder adjustment for you,” she said defeatedly after a minute, shooting me another look, “but I’m just trying to find something that makes everyone happy!”

“That’s not going to happen, Gemmie,” I said, legitimately starting to feel sorry for her. Yeah, she was being stupid about this, but it was the kind of stupid that came from being too nice to actually think about something. “This whole thing fucking sucks. I hate this, and--”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“I hate this,” I reiterated, staring at her. “I hate being this small. I hate how loud it is, I hate how uncomfortable it is. I hate how hard it is to do anything.” I was on a roll, I didn’t even care whether or not she was listening as her eyes bounced between me and the pan. I just wanted to get it off my chest. “I hate getting grabbed and pinched without being asked, I hate that I can’t do things without people feeling like they need to interject, even when I specifically tell them not to. I hate that no one understands what this is like.”

“You’re upset,” she said firmly, dismissively, as she cranked the stove off and did a quick taste test. “I’m not saying it isn’t hard for you, I know it’s got to be very hard, but you’re blowing this all out of proportion because you’ve had a bad day.”

“They’re all bad days now,” I sighed, getting frustrated again, “that’s what no one seems to--”

“You’re normal most of the time!” She shot back, aggressively bright-siding me. “Those are good days!”

“They aren’t, though,” I said, standing up off of the plates and walking toward the edge of the cupboard, stone in my hands. “That’s what nobody seems to care about! I can’t go anywhere on my own, and I’m living in constant fe--”

“You can’t go anywhere alone because of this!”

Gem’s voice was sharper than I think I’ve ever heard it before; her cheeks were flushed and she seemed mad-- the pointing of the massive, sauce-and-veggie covered wooden spoon didn’t really soften the mood either. I stumbled backwards a bit as she railed on, looking back down, aggravated, at the food below. “I don’t understand how someone who’s already almost had to go to the hospital because of birds can just… delude themselves into thinking this isn’t extremely dangerous.”

“Girlfriend, I love you,” she continued, simmering down like the stirfry while shaking her head, “but your attitude really sucks. I don’t know what we need to do to get it through to you that we’re just trying to keep you safe, and just helping you through this. I know you didn’t ask for this, but neither did anyone else, and I really think you should appreciate at least Sheridan more, if not everyone else, for what you’re making them go through, even though-- yes-- your thing is still hard, despite all the work we’re doing to make it easier on you.”

You’re not making it easier, though, I wanted to argue. A part of me was red hot and ready to melt through straight to the floor, wanting to just scream that nothing was easier when I was terrified every day of my normal life that I’d somehow have to be this again; wanting to scream that nothing was easier when I was constantly being grabbed and dropped and moved places against my will when I was perfectly fine doing those things on my own.

I wanted to argue my point that I never said it wasn’t dangerous, that was my point! That I can’t go anywhere or do anything because of this! And somehow that got turned on me?!

But for all the utterly explosive rage I knew was in me, somewhere, there was a massive blast-resistant door that just said ‘she’s right’.

She’s right: None of them asked for this.

She’s right: It could be so much worse than this.

She’s right: None of them have to do anything, so I should be glad they’re doing something.

Gem started to get that sad, apologetic look all over her again, and her guilt just made me feel more guilty as she went to the rice cooker and started plating dinner. I sulked in the cupboard, hugging my stupid corgi-sized rock to myself as my rage kept trying to counter all of those blast-resistant points.

She’s right, but: It’s just a decent thing to do to help a friend in need. It’s what I would do for them.

She’s right, but: Just because it could be worse doesn’t automatically make this better, somehow.

She’s right, but: That something probably shouldn’t hurt or humiliate or upset me so god damn much.

“Here.” Her voice was soft again, and the hurt parts of me were craving it; desperately wanting to latch onto that comfort. She was good at that. I knew she was good at that. “Sorry I forgot to give it to you sooner. Give me a minute to cut this up smaller and we’ll go eat, ok girly?”

I nodded as she slipped the phone in, noticing a little too late as she let it go, leaning it against the back of the cupboard that it was her phone, not mine; we had the exact same phone, and similar colored cases.

I was about to give her the heads up, when a notification flashed on her screen; a message from Cal, in that private group chat they had told me about.

A group chat named: Problem Solvers

Guess that’s all I really am, in the end.

I swiped to clear the notification and waited for the screen to go back to black, and tried to keep myself level.

“Hey, uh, this is your phone,” I said, and the look of vague panic that came over her for even a second really just kind of set all of my doubts and worries in stone.

“Oh,” she said, reaching in and hauling it out, swapping it with mine quickly. I punched in my lockscreen code and pretended not to notice her immediately checking the notifications before she shoved it back in her pocket. “Sorry about that, I always forget how similar they are.”

“Me too,” I said, and started slowly typing ‘massage’ into the reminder widget.

‘Break curse’ was already there.

I swallowed down a lot of bile and shame, and erased it. Slowly, I replaced it with: ‘Solve everyone’s problem’.

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Next Chapter: Click Here

#This poor girl #Daphne needs a breath of fresh air I think #Daphne and the No Good Very Bad Day indeed #Friends THINKING they're good people #and friends ACTUALLY BEING good people #are two different things #but it's super hard to see that when you're deep in there #and kinda hard to go hit up social clubs when you're walking birdfood #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #g/t author #g/t writing #gtauthor #Daphne's Curse #The Faerie Spell

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