#kinda feels like my entire family is cursed to lose things

[chaostified]

Some mf came in our room and stole my damn shoes and heels. Nothing else (nothing else we've noticed at least), just these two things.

Btw, my mum works at this hotel so she's a semi-permanent resident, which means that the cleaning staff, who are the only ones with access to all rooms aren't allowed in here.

Honestly, I'm not even mad, I'm just amused as to why did someone steal my shoes of all the damn things.

[rcksmith]

Brick by Brick - Kaz Brekker

Requests: “Heyy, I wanted to request a Kaz Brekker x reader fic where y/n is Pekka Rollins' innocent and naive daughter, and she stumbles across Kaz when he breaks into Pekka's house. Kaz tells her to stay quiet and stuff and y/n obviously has no idea who Kaz is, only that he's handsome as fuck and she kinda falls in love with him despite the fact that he's literally robbing her father

Love, anon :3

P.S. I love your writing.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing.

Word count: 2k

A/N: Thank you very much for your kindness and sorry for the delay. I love you. My loves, requests are open and I am banning Kaz's smut request rules. U can ask for anything in the original universe, without being in a UA. I hope you like💕 English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

------------

Ketterdam was not a good place. It wasn't safe, it wasn't pretty, it wasn't healthy. Every dark corner, every ghostly street, every edge whispering curses, was fulfilled the entire list of unholy sins and harbored monsters as horrible as the harbor rats on the coast. If the soil in that place was cursed, the people were demons.

Pekka Rollin’s knew this like he knew how to count kruger. He was one of those monsters. He taught profanity and stained the ground on which his feet walked with innocent blood. Pekka destroyed homes, hopes, kicked people's dreams and hit each one soul with his staff of damnation.

Each one.

Because of it that he kept his daughter under lock and key from the ugly world, far from that wretched city that he himself helped build the horrors and desolations. Maybe it was out of love, maybe it was out of sensitivity. Or maybe it was because you were the only healthy and intelligent heiress capable of leading his empire one day. You represent too many precious things for him to risk losing control over you. Maybe Pekka would never be able to love anything or anyone other than his own greed.

Whatever it was, he covered your eyes to Ketterdam. He decorated the blood-stained walls with sparkling pink and said to you that the smoke that covered the tops of Ketterdam's houses at night was Aladdin's magical fog, which pointed the way to a cave full of treasures, and not that it was the incinerated bodies of his enemies, nosy people and families who starved to death on their land. Pekka deceived you with pretty tales that the big mansion you lived in was because he would always give you the best, and not that it was bought with money stolen from honest people and that he liked to see in material forms the extent of his capabilities of evil. Like a trophy.

Rollin’s wove the ties around your limbs like a cursed puppet, and pulled your strings according to his unscrupulous interests of greed. For all of Ketterdam, Pekka was a demon of the worst kind. But for you, he was a bearded, loving father who made you see magic and romance in every corner of that city condemned by God.

The worst types of monsters were those who tricked and manipulated their children like pawns in a game of chess. But, again, perhaps Pekka wasn't capable of loving anything other than his own greed.  And, if the price for having an heir who agreed, trusted him for the rest of the life, who would follow in his footsteps and obey all his order, was to make you believe in his goodness, in the beauty of a life with him only to implant wonderful - and illusory -  memories in your childhood, so be it. After all, you were a girl, and in his view, girls were sentimental. So how would you go against him in the future, or not act according to his orders or not run his business as he wanted when he was too old, if you only had memories of him being an excellent and loving father? You will feel so guilty! You would fall under the weight of your own mind's arguments that everything he once did was to protect and give you the best, so your only obligation would be to be a good girl and return the favor by obeying your father's orders.

Loyalty.

Maybe, if you were someone else and this was a different story, you would have realized the hoax at 16 years old. Maybe you would have born with a strong, inquisitive and responsive personality. Maybe you would have developed that spark and fire that wouldn't let you lower your head to any man, that would make you stamp your foot on the ground, lift your chin with petulance and unravel the mysteries of that dark empire alone and take justice into your own hands.

But this was no different story. And you were just you.

You were born with a sweet aura and gentle personality. You liked butterflies and flowers since birth because their color and beauty attracted you and made you smile. Your romantic nature was not only accepted by your father, but encouraged and recharged every day - for his dark game. 

For 19 years you lived in the theatrical farce that Pekka created with monstrous hands, believing and agreeing with every story in your bubble. But the blame can never fall on the shoulders of the pure in heart, who blindly believed in words and stories just because it didn't have a single wave of malice or disbelief in the veins. One should never condemn the soul that was born naturally sweet and destined to be the breath of light that such a terrible world as Ketterdam needed. 

 You believed in love, fairy tales and pure honesty, and that was not a defect. The Herculean guilt should fall on the shoulders of the devil who abused the innocence of a girl for his greedy benefit.

In your perfect world manipulated and distorted by the unscrupulous Pekka, you blossomed like a dazzling lily in the middle of Plato's allegory of The Cave. You acted with honesty, patience and affection towards everyone who crossed your path: employees, cooks, gardeners, bakers, painters, stylists, delivery people, friends of your father.

You were, genuinely, a kind soul. Your interests were related to literature, cooking and painting, your heart vibrated with the sunset, with the first snowflake falling to the ground and how twilight seemed even more stunning in books when they portrayed a couple in love beneath it.

You always saw the poetic, lyrical, angelic side of life, with the eyes of an artist and a passionate soul, smelling mystery and romance in the air when others only smelled wet grass because of the rain.

And being like that was, perhaps, the reason for your downfall.

It was three o'clock in the morning on a Friday the thirteenth. A combination so full of superticities, curses, fears and prague. While some saw that day and time as a condemned and satanic sign, you saw it as something mystical, mysterious and enigmatic. And maybe that was your mistake. Maybe you should be careful about the things you think, the things you wish. Maybe three in the morning on a Friday really was the devil's time. Because as you crossed the hallway of the mansion's library, unable to sleep, you saw him.

Dressed in black like the darkness outside. Skin as white as the moon's glow. Hair personified as a raven's feathers. He seemed to belong to the mysteries and occultism of the world as sin belonged to hell. The huge Victorian window behind illuminated him like an apparition, a mirage, a nightmare…an erotic dream. Or like a demon.

You should have screamed. You should have ran away. You should have done something other than get stuck in that same place, anything other than feeling inside you squirms and something sinks into your belly like warm honey.

His eyes, as blue as the deadly waters of icy Fjerda, were fixed on you with as much intensity as the dangers of Shadow Fold. For a split second, a human emotion passed through those irises; surprise?

An inattentive observer would not have noticed such a tiny sign, but you lived 19 years analyzing every detail of life.

Would a demon have such a mundane emotion?

“Who are you?” Your voice came out like a breath in winter. 

Your concentration should have been on your dad book under that man's arm, but it wasn't.

A single thick, black eyebrow of his was arched, and only there were you able to run your eyes over the details of his appearance.

“Do you always ask questions for thieves?” His voice was like the scratching of sand on a stone, like a withered willow branch brushing against human skin.

That man, in his entirety, seemed to have come out of the dark romance books that you read hidden in your room in the early hours of the morning. You should have focused on the fact that he just called himself a thief, not the way your soul seemed to be shivering because of his voice.

“Or you´re just stupid?” the thief continued.

Kaz never made decisions based on fear. Only in despair. 

His analytical mind rewound every step of the years he spent investigating Pekka Rollin's; every detail, every day, every season, every strand of gray that appeared in Pekka's red hair. Where had Kaz gone wrong? Pekka had no children. And Kaz made no mistakes. Never. But the girl in front of him, too curious for her own good and common sense, had too similar traits to Pekka to be anything other than his daughter.

Desperation hit.

This made EVERYTHING infinitely more Herculaneum. Your existence meant that Pekka had many more secrets than the Kaz discovered in their constant meticulous investigation. You were a loophole, and that meant there could be others. Loopholes that Kaz had no idea about. Kaz Brekker felt naked, even though he was covered from toes to neck. Being without clothes wouldn't have bothered him any more than the damn fact that he hadn't come up with the perfect plan. He failed. And that disturbed him deeply.

Suddenly, that library seemed sneaky and questionable, even though Brekker had studied the layout of the mansion for months.

How the fuck did he didn't have the knowledge about that girl?!

A daughter meant many things. But being caught by his daughter created a LOT of problems. Problems involving Kaz Brekker on a gallows.

Fucking hell.

The Barril's bastard waited for a scream, for an accusation, waited for the guards to be alerted at any moment and…the silence was sepulcher. A silence so solemn that he heard the sound of his own blood running through his veins. None of his muscles relaxed, but the part of his brain that worked in despair was activated.

Or he could kill you. But a body would add an extreme problem and…

‘’Who are you?’’ Your voice was so feminine that for a second Kaz thought he had fallen backwards and landed in a bed of roses.

Which was bullshit. Because he never falls. And he had never touched a rose in his entire life

Were you really talking to the man who was robbing your house?! Where was your instinct?! Your common sense?! Your discernment?! And where, by the damned Saints, were you all these years?

“…you don’t look like a thief’ That voice again. That damn voice that made him think of roses he never touched.

Why didn't you shut up and run away?

“Have you seen enough thieves to know one?” Normally Kaz had higher control, but he couldn't hold back his whip tongue, which seemed somehow wanting to hurt you the same way he was being hurt.

That atypical creature blushed. You blushed! For the love of the saints! Who blushes face to face with imminent danger?! Were you stupid or just terribly naive?! And why did that sweet blush remind him once again of a rose?

Bloody hell, where have you been all these years?! Why didn't anyone tell him about you?!

“No’’ you replied like a little animal being caught biting the sofa “but common thieves wouldn’t have that much intelligence to be able to bypass the security of this entire mansion’’

You had a point. But why were you worried about arguing with a damn thief instead of running away?

“That's yet another reason why you should keep your mouth shut about what you're seeing here.” His voice dropped to deeper, more threatening tones. “Bypass security is not as difficult for me, just like hiding a body''

That should have scared you. It made you scared; but with less than it really should. He was threatening you with death, his voice as cold and hoarse as a grim reaper, his eyes as serious as prophecies of the apocalypse. So why you could only think that this about him was overwhelmingly enthralling?

Maybe it was because there was a lack of excitement in your life, maybe it was because you've read a lot of erotic books about mysterious men entering the towers at night and taking the girl away, or maybe it was because Pekka deprived you of the world so much that he left you unaware of the true gravitas of situations. Whatever it was, there was something that grounded you like the roots of ancient trees, something that made you want to look at that thief more closely. Perhaps you liked the danger... That nameless man represented a large part of all the danger of Ketterdam that was so diligently hidden from you for 19 years. He represented death. But he also represented the new, the mystery, the unknown. And you, romantic by nature, loved the occult and its secrets. That man came from a world of shadows, mists, risks, deaths. Where every night was full of adrenaline and every second was a fight to stay alive. He smelled like the ghostly five a.m. fog that you watched envelop the mansion every winter, that made your heart clench with the feeling that there was so much more to the world than you knew. Very quickly, Kaz - even though you didn't know his name yet - became everything you'd always wanted to know, but had always been deprived of.

Once again, you weren't a different person to know about Pekka's disgusting game, but you were romantic enough to feel your soul begging for adventure. Even if these adventures meant ruin. A downfall.

Did it only take one handsome, mistery man for you to throw all your comfort in life out the window and want to ruin yourself with him? Want to get lost with him? The same stranger who just threatened to kill you? Apparently, yes.

You took a step into the library, and Kaz stood firm on the ground, his blue eyes boring into yours like a shining knife. Brekker thought you were extremely naive. Who knew that damn Pekka Rollin's daughter would be so pure? He would bet the Crow Club on the certainty that, if Pekka saw you now, he would have a heart attack. The monster sure had kept you in a little pink bubble your entire life, given that you seemed to not have a single ounce of survival instinct left in you. And how would you have? You certainly didn't know what pain, loss, hunger, cruelty were. This was comical and irritating to Brekker. You were a daddy's little girl. But it was in these waters of thought that his ship hit one fact: you must be very valuable to Pekka. Because otherwise that idiot wouldn't have made so many efforts to hide you from the entire world. To hide the wrong eyes from you. Eyes like Kaz's.

A shiver ran through Brekker's body; a damn good chill, a note of music he'd been waiting to hear his whole life. Revenge.

Brick by brick.

Oh, how ironic fate was. The boy who lost everything at Pekka's hands, was face to face with what was everything for the man. Like a breaking violin string, you have become the most valuable item in all of Ketterdam to be stolen. The most valuable item for Kaz Brekker.

The corner of his mouth turned up, as if pulled by the devil's rope as he set the book down again. He had something else to take away.

Kaz advanced towards yoou. And suddenly, as fast as lightning that cuts through the darkness, everything in your vision turned black and you fell into the abyss of unconsciousness as something pressed against your nose and mouth.

[duchezss]

My favorite details/moments from Trolls Band Together because I have a problem.

Lemme just get this out of the way and say the soundtrack is a certified banger oh my god.

When brozone tries and hits the perfect family harmony the first time the colors that they get outlined in are all separate, the three colors don't blend at all.

Just Floyd comforting Branch....😭 😭

Branch's little hops when him and Floyd were talking about the bunker WAHHHH.

The real emotions of Branch missing his brothers while simultaneously not wanting to see them like???

"There goes my back" when JD was throwing Branch LMAOO.

The entire design of Mount Rageous is so whimsical and gorgeous I'm in love.

When the whole screen shakes when JD hits the counter eh oh el.

"If there was a brother I'd do this for...I'd be Floyd" WAHHHH.

The old MTV style music video Watch Me Work has.

Floyd singing with the posters of brozone floating around 😭

"Tiny, Poppy, Branch, and this random dude" I SPIT OUT MY DRINK LMAO.

"Are you a narc?" OH I LOST IT IM SO DEAD.

All of Branch's old hairstyles being references to Justin Timberlake's real hairstyles.

"Poppy seed" awwwww.

Branch's little "yay" is so cute.

The ongoing ring pop joke is actually so funny I'm sorry.

The way Bruce and JD just throw Branch on command.

Bruce still being considered the heart throb even though he's got a dad bod, a wife, and children 😭

THE BLEEPED OUT CURSE WORD I WAS IN TEARS.

The amount of songs they fit into Brozone's back is actually impressive, and the way they mesh so well together??? Legitness.

"That's not an idea, those are shoulder pads" I just can't...

When Floyd's hair started turning white and he was going transparent....WAHHH 😭 😭 WHEN I GET YOU VELVET AND VEENER WHEN I GET YOU......(But also the details to show how fast his health was declining? Someone cooked)

Branch's iconic clue board.

Bruce holding tiny diamond since he's also a dad.

Branch trying to be brave and talk to the clown but as soon as Viva came at him he backed up. That's such a real response I love is so much??

Clay's hair being green? Which kinda hints that JD or someone made him dye his hair yellow when he was younger.

Viva calling Clay "Mr. Clay" is actually the cutest thing everrr

Clay and Bruce's handshake, I also kinda like that it implies that they were really close, kinda like how Branch and Floyd were close. I think it really separates JD from them.

Also everyone's reaction to JD being super cold while everyone fawns over Branch.

Clay's so smart 😭 (and autistic) I love him so much.

All the brothers cute dancing in It Takes Two ❤️

The very real response of Viva not wanting to talk about her trauma and also not wanting Poppy to leave.

"I don't wanna lose my brother either" I feel like no one talks about how brave Clay is. He's in the same boat as Viva, he thinks Bergens still attack trolls, and he's going out into the world for the first time in who knows how's long. Just because he wants to help save Floyd, like that's so sweet???

Floyd's dead face was way funnier than it should've been.

"I thought ghosts just floated away" the delivery on this line is unmatched.

Floyd speaking one younger brother to Veener was so 😭, especially cause you know he felt like Veener did when Brozone was still active (on a lesser degree ofc) I can't.

We don't talk enough about how fire all of the choreos are, like they got professional dancers to make these dances, AND YOU CAN TELL OML.

JD's need for perfection constantly getting in the way of the greatness they all could achieve.

Branch being the voice for all younger siblings out there who will never be respected by their families hit me. But I also think there's something to say about the JD's of the world. The older siblings they took charge because they felt they had to. All parties end up getting hurt.

Also Branch actually wanting them to be a family so sweet. It really embodies the naive hope of wanting to stay together that youngest children have, but it's not unattainable. You can still be close with your siblings into adulthood, no matter how much time has passed, and that's what this movie represents as it's core.

"I didn't think we'd both find ourselves tied up on this honeymoon" WHATTTTT.

BRANCH AND FLOYD HUGGING THROUGH THE GLASS WAHHHHHHHH. Also Floyd being the only brother to respect that's he's grown....I just love them so much 😭

The whole interaction of all the brothers reuniting while in the diamonds is so funny for no reason lol.

Viva understanding she was wrong and striving to do better for her sister >>>

BRO THE ENTIRE CLIMAX IS SO GOOD??? THE TENSION?? THE MUSIC??? IT'S JUST PERFECTION. THE SONGS CHOICES WERE SO GOOD, AND THE WAY THEY REARRANGED WATCH ME WORK TO BE SO INTENSE IS BRILLIANT. THE SONG JUST KEEPS BUILDING AND THE STAKES GET HIGHER, IT'S WAY TO GOOD.

"Actually I've got two really brave sisters" When the message of this movie is that found family and blood family are just as important as each other, and that no matter what you get to pick who your family is >>> 😭

When Clay falls hard while in the diamond, Bruce and JD immediately check on him, meanwhile he's just focused on Floyd. The older brotherism... 😭

The message of this movie also being that perfection isn't important, but rather balance, harmony, and communication are key. ❤️

The acapella opening of Better Place....just.....wow.....

Clay's adlibs eating everyone up??? Kid Cudi I was not familiar with your game hold on.....

When they hit the perfect family harmony all their colors start mixing, showing their respect for individualism and also for the group.

The way Floyd eyes light up when they're all singing is just 😭

Branch building the bunker for all of them 💔, Floyd remembering the waterslide, all of them hugging?? Just peak filmmaking idk.

"Jail it is" also apparently someone did the math and in our world the twins would get over 6 life sentences for their crimes hello???

All of the boyband references are so funny idc.

Clay being excited to get to know Branch 😭 also JD reading a book in the back that presumably Clay recommended him?? That's so cute? He's really trying y'all, they're all trying, and that just warms my heart 😭

*NSYNC making their first song in over 20 years for this movie is actually the craziest thing ever I'm obsessed. Also they all designed their little trolls which I think is so cute.

The last songs....just bangers....I can't even, I sound like a broken record, why is every song in this movie so good.

Fav adlibs speedrun (from the last two songs): Floyd little "yeah yeah", Clay's "dohhh, ohhh," one of the nsync members "show the wayyy", Bruce's "so excited", Branch's "ohh" & "ayeee"

The layering when they all sing together is too good. It sounds so gorgeous and if you listen closely you can hear each persons vocals.

Also I just need to talk about the music production and mixing for a second. This movie has three version of Better Place, all of which are unique. The main one is the NSYNC version, which is notable for it's little rap section. The Family Harmony version use's the intro/pre-chorus as the main part of the song. It also lets the song slowly built, and adds instrumentals as the song progresses. The Reunion version doesn't use the intro/pre-chorus, but rather mainly focuses on the chorus. It also uses the bridge from the main song as the post-chorus/refrain. Just a very creative use of the song tbh. Also the instrumental differences between Watch Me Work and Mount Rageous? Like it's the same song, but the way they add more classical elements and more layers to build the tension and the song as a whole?? I have no words. Perfection.

Obsessed with this movie. If you haven't seen it pls go watch it.

[b0rderbunny]

♡ HOLDING TIGHT ♡

A/N: not me posting after disappearing for a month 😩

By the way I have been really sick and have been juggling finals and dealing with this virus. My entire families got it so I'm trying to not get sick but that's kinda hard when you live with 8 people 🤧

Nonetheless let's begin!

Gender neutral reader

Levixlover!reader

Levi Ackerman, a man with many talents.

He's strong, smart, and drop dead gorgeous; That's what people on the outside see. But what did you as his lover see?

You saw a cold man, who only pushes others away because he's scared.

Because he's scared of a repeat.

The repeat of losing.

Most people would take this as immaturity.

"Imagine being afraid of losing? As if"

This man was scared of losing yes. But not what others might think. He was scared of losing people he let in.

The night Isabelle and Furlan passed, you were there.

You held a hand out, a hand that he first slapped away.

Yet.

You were always there.

He didn't know why but he felt comfort in your presence, in your gaze. The way you looked at him, with so much love in your eyes. The way you looked at him as if he were the most perfect thing in the world, the most beautiful man in existence.

And he is, you made sure to remind him every day just how much you loved him.

How much you cared for him.

His voice, his eyes, hell even the way he had to make sure everything was clean. Your treatment towards him was foreign. He wasn't used to being looked at like he was human. He was used to being looked like a machine, a dog, something disgusting.

So the night you two first made love was something he would remember to the day he died.

The way you told him how much he meant to you.

How much you loved him.

He cried.

The first time since his mother's death, he cried.

And unlike others would, you didn't judge him. Didn't take advantage of him in this delicate state. Instead you repeated it again.

"I love you Levi."

And now those were the same words you were whispering as he stared down at you eyes wide, your hand resting on his cheek.

Your bloodied hand.

Blood of your comrades, friends, and your own.

"Promise me something ____." He said as you two stood outside star gazing the night before.

"Anything" you said with a smile.

"Promise me you'll come home, that the two of us will spend the rest of our lives together." He said as he turned to look at you. At your beautiful eyes. The eyes he loved so much, mirroring his gaze of love.

"Only if you also promise that you'll come back to me" you said holding out your pinky.

God, you were always so immature.

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at your immaturity as you let out a small laugh.

"Come on I'm not kidding!" You laughed as he let out a small smile before wrapping his pinky around yours.

"Fine"

And even with your hand becoming limp, you still looked at him as if he was the most important thing.

"I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise" you whispered, wiping the tear that was now trailing down his cheek.

He could see it.

The pain, the same pain everyone before you had.

His mother, Isabelle, Furlan, Kenny.

And now you.

Was he cursed? Did he do this to you? Was this his fault?

He was losing you

And he couldn't do a single thing.

Nothing, as you bled out holding your lovers hand to your heart.

He could feel the way your chest slowly began to still.

Before it completely came to a stop.

The battle of shiganshina.

The battle of life or death.

A battle so vicious, that even after the people regained the land, they were still talking.

"Did you hear about the squad leader who was lost? ____? Was it?"

"I heard them and captain Levi were head on the strongest in the military"

"The two were going to get married after coming back to the walls, no?"

Many scouts were lost.

But they weren't just scouts.

They were Friends

Father's

Mother's

Lovers

Soulmates.

The scouts had won.

Yet everyone came home with a heavy feeling in their heart, the feeling of loss.

They had lost.

More importantly, Levi Ackerman had lost.

What he lost you may ask?

He lost the most important thing in his life.

His lover, his best friend, his everything.

"Hey L?" that dumb nickname you have him, you always had to refer to him as it. "Hm?" Not looking up from his papers he signaled you to continue talking.

"Do you believe in alternate universes?" You asked looking at the book you held in your hands.

"I believe you're a idiot" he replied as you deadpanned.

"Im being serious, what if there's another me and another you" you said excitedly walking towards his desk and around to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

"What if there's one without titans where me and you are married, with a small tea shop, and kitty" you said excitedly as you rested your chin on his shoulder.

"How dumb are you?"

"In another life I'm super smart!"

"Yeah in another life" he replied, rolling his eyes.

In Another life…

Maybe we'll stay together...

[the-tragic-heroine]

死鬼祭 | Shiki Matsuri

fandom: tokyo revengers

characters: kurokawa izana, kakucho, haitani ran, haitani rindou, madarame shion, kokonoi hajime

pairings: tenjiku x female reader

cw: blood, violence, major character death, supernatural elements, mass murder, angst with happy ending, kinda, she/her pronouns used for reader

tags: @akemiixx01​

—✧ SUMMARY ✧—

The villagers say that you cursed them all. You believe that they were the ones who cursed you. (Or, in which the circumstances of your unfortunate birth woke a forgotten, slumbering god.)

Very vague depictions of the supernatural here, and a few cameos of specific yokai if you can spot them! Title is based off of a song by KODOKULOVE! More characters may be added as the story progresses.

Read on AO3 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six

CHAPTER 柒 SEVEN (FINAL)

“Welcome back,” Izana said as you settled back into your own body again. “Are you with me?”

You nodded, staring straight ahead.

“Good. How do you feel?”

“Awful,” you replied bluntly. Then, “Was that really me?”

Izana hummed. “Who knows… but I like to think that it was. Some way or another, you came back—and I believe that somehow, I was given the chance to make things right.” When he looked at you, you were transported centuries back to those same amethyst eyes: divine and ethereal in its majesty, but shedding tears like a heartbroken human man.

“It hurt,” you told him honestly. “It hurt more than the day I was bashed over the head and burned with a torch. I should hate you for making me go through that. Yet…” You trailed off. “Yet, I can’t. I can’t hate you because now, I understand.”

The you who grew up with nothing would have never been able to comprehend the pain of losing absolutely everything.

“The Sano household still stands, even to this day,” you said. “But my family’s old home has long since been built over. They erased both you and us from history and replaced it with the legend of a cunning fox, who tried to disguise itself as a human woman so it could kill the village lord. Not even my mother knew the truth, as it died along with me that night.” You met his piercing gaze. “But you knew, didn’t you? You knew the second you saw me and the blood that came out from between my legs. And the guilt of it followed you forever.”

Izana said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m sorry for deceiving you. I’m sorry for leaving you all alone.” You smiled at him, eyes dry and free from tears. “But I’m here now, so let me help you.”

This time, when Izana smiled back, you found that he had never looked more lovely.

—✧—

The remaining walk to the village did not take very long, and when you both arrived, you could not even be shocked anymore at the sight that awaited you.

It was as if the entire village, from the rooftops to the streets, had been doused with foul, oozing tar. The malevolent spirits clung onto the sides of buildings, adhered themselves to the weary, zombie-like villagers who appeared to have lost all will to live. None even seemed to notice me as I peered out from behind the trees near the village entrance. Farther into the distance, I recognised the looming presence of the painfully familiar Sano household and its demons, sitting at the very top of the sloping hill.

“How unfair,” you said, “that one man’s sin would be enough to doom an entire civilization.”

“Such is the nature of man,” Izana replied, voice carried by the breeze.

Perhaps the long dream had broken something deep inside of you, because when your gaze came to rest on a crumpled heap along the side of an alley, surrounded by bloodied sticks and stones and with a cloud of both flies and demons hovering overhead, you did not even blink. Probably because the body reminded you a bit of yours, all those centuries ago… and you could no longer find within yourself any remaining ounce of sympathy left for the villagers who had shunned you and your bloodline, tortured you throughout your entire life, for a crime you had never even committed.

You did not feel human when you turned to Izana and said with a smile, “Burn them all.”

—✧—

It was the night of a full moon when you and Izana led an army of a hundred yokai to descend upon the village—but the only person the villagers saw was you. As if in a trance, they watched silently as you walked through the center of all the buildings, eyes set straight ahead, ignoring the chattering monsters that began to crawl close behind. When you reached the foot of the hill leading up to the Sano household, you finally turned around.

Behind you, Izana was already waiting, invisible to the eyes of the mortal men. All he had to do was raise one hand—and then, the massacre began.

Screams blended together with the laughter of Izana’s contracted spirits as one-by-one, the houses burst into flame. Wooden rafters creaked and groaned, snapping and smoldering while people desperately scrambled for safety—only to run headfirst into the jaws of the eagerly awaiting yokai, who devoured their souls and left only empty husks behind. The demonic entities that clung to the village were swept up into the chaos, latching onto and attacking both humans and yokai alike—but they were nothing more than fodder for Izana’s army, who quickly consumed them as well.

You caught glimpses of your shrine’s men in the crowd; Ran and Rindou were all too happy to stomp the demons flat, not caring if any humans were in the way. Shion killed any creature who crossed his path, human or demon, occasionally having to be yanked aside before he could attack an ally by accident. Kokonoi mostly stayed on the sidelines, away from the violence, but did not hesitate to crush any victims who strayed too far from the center of the battle. And you watched as Kakucho, whose eyes once swam with guilt and remorse, guarded the village border—catching whoever made it far enough in their attempt to escape and ripping their hearts from their chests. When he raised his head and briefly caught your gaze, you saw that he wore an expression of nothing but cold dedication to his duty.

As buildings and villagers collapsed and burned alike, you stood at the center of it all. Dying people cried out and begged for their lives like you were a god. How ironic, you thought to yourself as they perished like ants beneath a merciless heel; you had once died here, too, like nothing but a wounded animal, without even the chance to plead to your own beloved god for salvation. You wondered, if you could have chosen how you died, which you would pick: burning together with your people, or bleeding out alone in front of an entire village’s scrutiny.

The sudden touch against the back of your hand dragged you from your thoughts and you found yourself blinking up at Izana, who slipped your hand into his. As he interlaced your fingers together, he leaned in and rested his forehead against yours—mirroring the night of your death. You closed your eyes, letting the sounds of destruction fade into the back of your mind as he spoke.

“This is not the end,” he said, his voice a gentle caress. “This is only the beginning. Let this be the day of our rebirth.”

“Our rebirth,” you echoed, and closed the gap between your lips. In that moment, encircled by death and fire, you had never felt happier.

—✧—

The Sano manor was the only building still standing after the rest of the village was reduced to piles of smoldering ash. You stood before it, matchstick in hand, facing the same doors you had once been thrown out of.

“You tried to erase our bloodline,” you told the house, lifting the match into the air. “How funny that instead, mine will be the only one that remains.”

The match sailed through the air, flame dancing to a familiar melody. When the manor began to burn, instead of the crackling of flames, you heard the humming of your mother while she brushed your hair, woven together with the whimsical laughter of your little brother and sister.

You sat and watched until the house was no more, until all that was left of the fire was the curling of smoke into the air. Until you could no longer hear your family’s song.

“Goodbye,” you said, and cried.

—✧—

“Go sit down,” Rindou snapped at you as you tried to help sweep up some of the debris. “You shouldn’t be here anyway! You should be resting back at home.”

“She’s not a doll, Rin Let her do what she wants,” Ran piped up, standing so that he could stretch from where he had been moving rubble off to the side. “Ugh, some of this stuff is getting into my hair…”

You rolled your eyes at the two of them and huffed. “You guys are absolutely useless at cleaning. Especially Ran. That’s why I’m here, because the mess should have been cleared by now so we can actually start rebuilding everything!”

“Oh, come now,” Kokonoi laughed, sticking out his tongue at your bickering. “Why not pay for some more help? Not that I’m offering to spare some of my own money, though.”

“You’re useless too,” you grumbled right back. “I can’t believe you have the audacity to ask us to pay you to help! Why does Izana still keep you around? Also, where the hell did Shion go?”

As if on cue, a bloodcurdling screech erupted from a rubble pile a short distance away, before Shion popped into view with a disgruntled tanuki dangling by the tail from his clenched fist.

“Ever since we destroyed everything, this place has been crawlin’,” Shion said, eyeing the wriggling creature. “Might as well eat some of ‘em, right?”

You dropped your broom. “Shion! Let it go!”

“It’s lively here, but somehow, it seems that even less work is being done,” came Kakucho’s smooth, deep voice from behind you, right as Shion begrudgingly dropped the poor tanuki. It scampered back into the forest.

You sighed. “It’s like wrangling with children. I don’t know how you and Izana manage it.”

Kakucho laughed, and you were once again struck by the raw beauty of his happy face. “Well, when you’ve been together with these guys for hundreds of years, what’s just a few minutes more in comparison?” He patted your shoulder. “Take a break. I know you’re excited to get things finished, but there’s no real rush. There are no people left aside from you now, after all. And, well, except for…”

A loud yell and crash interrupted him mid-sentence, the two of you looking up just in time to see Izana cheerfully kicking Shion into a mountain of splintered wood. Ran and Rindou guffawed while Kokonoi snickered into one of his fluffy tails. Kakucho rolled his eyes and set off to help Shion up, who was now loudly complaining about splinters, leaving you to watch the scene with a little shake of your head—but unable to wipe the affectionate smile from your face. You were still smiling when Izana made his way over to your side.

“You look happy,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before wrapping his arms around you with a sigh of contentment.

“That’s because I am,” you replied, laughing softly. “I never thought someone like me could ever be happy in this lifetime… but thanks to all of you, I’ve been proven wrong. Even though it took a lot of pain and heartache to get here.” And human sacrifices, your mind added helpfully, though you chose to ignore it.

Izana rested his chin on your shoulder with a pleased hum. “If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”

You closed your eyes and smiled. “If you say so. And what about you? Are you happy?”

You felt the curve of his lips against your neck as he responded without hesitation. “Of course I am. And so are the others. We’ve waited centuries to find our happiness again—and now that we found it, we don’t plan on letting you go.”

“I’m… your happiness?” Your words came out in a shaky whisper.

“…Always have been, from the very start.”

The tears of joy rolling down your cheeks became glistening sparkles underneath the warmth of the noontime sun. “Then, don’t. Don’t let me go. Let me stay by your side for the rest of my life—and for the rest of yours.”

“You’ve gotten better with your words since becoming one with me,” Izana said. “Do you feel any different, now that you’ve joined me in becoming a god?”

“Not really,” you said, after some thought. “I feel exactly the same. Who knows, maybe I was actually god all this time! After all, gods are formed from the power of belief, right?”

Izana hummed. “Indeed. This world works in mysterious ways—but that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?”

“At the very least, I do feel like I’ve been reborn, like you said.” One of your hands found its way atop of Izana’s, where it rested over the slight swell of your stomach. “So I hope that it’s a sign of this village’s eventual rebirth, as well.”

“I’m sure it is,” he replied, closing his eyes. His long eyelashes brushed against your skin in a fluttering kiss. “We’ll rebuild it together, piece by piece.”

—✧—

a/n: Sorry if the ending was rather abrupt kdasjlsl I ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER FIC I PLAN ON DROPPING SOON SO I JUST WANTED TO FINISH THIS UP QUICKLY SO I CAN GET TO IT!! also, what do you guys think of an epilogue?and btw, before anyone asks about the logistics of how they're gonna rebuild an entire village with just y/n and the boyz, there are neighbouring villages and travelers who will eventually move in and settle permanently! as for how repopulating the village with humans as a god is gonna work, idk just go with it LMAO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING THIS WAS A WILD RIDE AND BY FAR THE LONGEST FIC I HAVE EVER WRITTEN I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!! NOW ONTO MY NEXT ONE!!!

[inbarfink]

Much like many ‘What Remain of Edith Finch’ fans, I also subscribe to the theory that there is nothing truly supernatural about the ‘Family Curse’. That it’s more of a bad trauma-coping-mechanism turned self-fulfilling-prophecy that led the Finches to romanticize and obsess over death, take unnecessary risks, and never learn from their mistakes. 

But generally I see folks people point to Molly’s death as the event where this really got going. Like, obviously the ‘Curse’ existed long before this back in Norway - but its Molly’s death and Edie’s inability to process her own guilt in it that led her into a full-on obsession with the ‘Family Curse’ that eventually doomed almost her entire beloved family. And while I don’t deny that the loss of Molly was certainly an important step in Edie’s obsession- I’d say the true inception of it all was quite a bit earlier, back when Edie lost her father and her house.

Because the loss of that old house has clearly left a huge mark on Edie, it haunted her dreams every night of her long life - she spent what was probably her last few days on earth writing a story about it. And what is Edie’s biggest problem? She clings, she never lets the past go. In her own whimsical and cheerful way, she’s in a state of permanent mourning. Every death story is retold and mythologized, every dead child’s room is meticulously preserved as the day they died (to the point of making one of her sons share a room with his dead twin for 11 years), the New Finch House can rarely actually change - it can only grow. And I do believe that this obsession with preserving the past is born of the time Edie had to watch all the past she had at that time drown beneath the waves alongside her father.

We really can’t know what sort of memorialization traditions the Finches had back in Norway. We’ve never being inside of the Old House, not even in Edie’s story. And according to Edith’s narration, Odin built it - so it probably hasn’t been around for enough generations for the Finch tendency to cling to the past to be as evident as with the outside architecture of the New House. 

But I feel like it’s very probable that while Edie really took it to another level, the Finches had a tradition of memorialization for a long time. There’s a reason why Odin was so insistent of sailing his entire damn house across the ocean. And when it drowned, Edie didn’t just lose her daddy and her childhood home - but also everything that connected her to the dead Finches that came before her. There’s a reason why we know almost nothing about Ingeborg, Edie’s mother, all of her possessions and pictures have been lost when the house sunk. Odin probably only kinda avoided that fate on account of being a kinda-known writer, so his books and pictures of him were still available outside the House. But who knows many other Finches’ memories were buried under the waves.

During Edith’s flashback of her last day in the house, you can see some of Edie’s post-it notes about ‘the History of the Finches’, full of names neither Edith nor the player can recognize. 

And when Dawn pulls the book away from Edith, you can see a few lines that were not narrated to us. 

“And I wasn't alone. I started seeing things. The bed I shared with my sister. The chair my grandmother died in. The clock I used to hide inside of.”

All of these people were once just as real as Louis, Dawn and Edie were to Edith - but how much of them was really left after decades of existing only in Edie Finch’s mind? How many of these names Edie remembered and how many did she have to guess at inside the fog of her memories? Does Edie really remember the chair her grandmother died in or did she have to hesitate wandering if it was a sofa instead? Did she even remember her own mother’s face by the end? 

The true tragedy of Edie’s book isn’t really that Edith never got a chance to read more of it. We know the other entrance to the library exists, if Edith was truly driven she could have tried finding that key (gathering up the torn book honestly wouldn’t be that much of a worry, it seems to have basically into two big halves, after all). The reason why the Player never gets to read on is cause I think Edith realized that this book was just pure fantasy.

And not just in the sense that there wasn’t ever any freak earthquake and low tide that allowed the Old Finch House to resurface, in the sense that whatever Edie wrote about meeting or discovering in the Old House was stitched together from the half-remembered memories and wishful thinking of a grief-stricken old woman. There was nothing there that would’ve truly brought Edith (or her son, or the Player) more information about the family history or the ‘Curse’. It could only teach her about what great grandma Edie wanted to be true, and what she wanted most of all is see that Old House again. To once again, for the first time in years... feel like she was home. To meet all these people she lost and can’t preserve eternally like she thought she could with her new family. To have something from them she can preserve. To be able to tell Edith about her sister and uncle and grandmother and mother. To truly remember them again. But she can’t. All of these ideas as such of a fantasy as the Old House rebuilding itself before her eyes. And that’s the true tragedy of ‘The History of the Finches”.

Edie was so resistant to Dawn’s attempts to move away from the family obsession with death because she thought she knew what it feels like to let go, what it feels like to move on. And it feels like all of her family and memories drowning beneath the waves. The roof peeking over the shore a constant reminder of all that she lost. And cause the Finches are not really good at finding a happy medium, all Edie knows is to cling to the past, to everything she can lose, to her house. Even as her obsession exacerbated the ‘Family Curse’ - until all her family died or left her. Until Edit Sr. ‘Edie’ Finch died all alone in her big empty house, surrounded by her perfectly preserved memories of her dead children.

Like I mentioned at the start, I think the ‘Curse’ became a self-fulfilling prophecy partially because it led to a mindset that never learns from mistakes. If every death is a manifestation of a supernatural blight upon the family line, then there’s no point at looking at a tragic death of a child as a mistake that might’ve been prevented, then there’s no attempt to avoid similar mistakes in the future. And Odin’s death is really the encapsulation of that problem. 

Odin supposedly moved to America in the hopes of leaving the curse behind and moving on, but just like his daughter, he was seemingly incapable of actually leaving anything behind. He sailed his entire goddam house across the ocean (and through either the arctic circle or the Panama Canal cause the Finches live on the State of Washington) because he was so unable to part with any of the memories imbued within it. And how did that end? With both Odin and his precious home buried beneath the waves forever. If Odin was able to admit he can’t take everything with him to America, he could’ve simply taken the most important mementos of his dead wife and child and the Finch Family History in general and be able to actually preserve some of his memories in his new home. Or at the very  least let his daughter keep at least some pictures of her own darn mother. Instead of losing everything, including his own life.

But for Edie, this whole story didn’t seem like an almost-parable-like narrative about how clinging too hard to the past might just mean destroying it more thoroughly. It just seemed to her like the Curse striking again, making it clear it will follow the Finches everywhere in the most poetic way possible. So instead of learning any sort of lesson from what happened to Odin, she glorified and romanticized the actions of her father. Built him a monument that made him seem like some sort of hero. She reveled in the story of the house that sailed across the ocean and almost made it ashore. And then just set on making his exact same mistake, over and over again.

[pagesoflauren]

Money's Worth - Birth(s)day

soft dad!Ransom x reader

Summary: Your new baby couldn't have picked a better time (or day) to make their grand entrance.

Warnings: mentions of familial conflict, angst, descriptions of c-section delivery

A/N: lol remember this? I kinda missed THB!Ransom and his little growing family, so here they are, slowly expanding. I have a lot outlined for them, so let me know if y'all still wanna hear from them. Thanks @eightcevanscentral for your help.

The Highest Bidder Masterlist

Money’s Worth Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Nobody could have really accounted for this party going sideways. 

Well, now that you think about it, Ransom did try to warn you. 

Staying away from the fray, you try to keep yourself calm as a contraction rolls through your body. They’re getting closer together now. 

Linda shouts at Walt–you mentally curse him again for showing up uninvited and stirring up trouble under the guise of wanting to talk to Harlan. In the back of your mind, you consider getting a restraining order. 

Harlan stands with Ransom, holding him back from getting involved. You want to get up and completely remove him from the situation; this isn’t how he should be spending his birthday. 

Your muscles tighten once more and now you know it’s time to go to the hospital. 

Rising from your seat, you approach Marta on the green as she keeps Junior occupied with a game of ring toss. You place a hand on her shoulder and tell her you need to leave. 

“What?” she asks incredulously, looking down at your belly. 

“It’s time,” you manage between breaths. “I should’ve said something to Ransom earlier but there’s no time. I feel like if I say something it’ll just cause the world to implode.” 

“Let me and Junior come with you, I’ll drive,” she offers. 

You shake your head. “No, no, just let them know where I am when the time is right.” 

She doesn’t have time to respond as you squat down as much as possible when your son arrives. “I’ll see you soon, sweetie.” 

You kiss his forehead. “Where you going, mommy?”

“Your baby sibling is on their way,” you tell him. “I have to go to the hospital so that the doctors and nurses can help me and keep him healthy.” 

“Why? Stay home,” he argues, “I help mommy.”

Pushing down the pain and controlling your face, you fight another contraction. “My sweet boy,” you sigh. “You’ll be a good big brother.”

Worry cloaks his face and you kiss his cheek, slowly losing chubbiness and you miss the soft cushion of it despite the joy of watching him grow. “Mommy will be okay, I promise.” 

He nods, letting go of your hand as you sneak out the side gate and hop into the car.

- - - - -

Fed up, Ransom shouts, ordering Walt to get out of his house with a threat to call the police. This is the last thing his family needs, wishing Junior wasn’t exposed to this, and his wife needing to be in stress-free situations as much as possible. 

Craning his neck to look back at you, he finds the outdoor table empty. He turns to look at the green by the pool, only finding Marta entertaining Junior. 

Ransom thinks out loud, asking where you are. All heads begin to turn, eyes scanning the yard. You couldn’t have gone into the house without his knowledge; he was facing the screen door the entire time. 

Linda disappears into the guest house to search for you as he goes into the pool house in case you had gone to use the bathroom there. 

Coming up empty, he approaches Marta. 

“Where’s my wife?” he demands. 

“I…” Her eyes are wide, caught like a deer in headlights. 

“Marta…” his voice lowers, slightly threatening. He knows it’s not necessary, but his protective instincts override any form of rational thinking. “Where is she?”

Two taps land on his knee and he looks down at his son. 

“Daddy,” he reaches up.

Ransom picks him up, settling him on his hip. “What is it, sunbeam?”

“Mommy go have baby!” he whispers excitedly. 

Feeling his heart drop, Ransom’s eyes go as wide as Marta’s. He looks at her and shouts, “What?!”

“I…she…she said–!”

“You knew?!” 

“Ransom, what’s the problem?” Harlan hobbles over, trying again to diffuse an emotionally charged situation. 

“Y/N,” Ransom says, “Junior said she left to go to the hospital!” 

“Well you have to go!” the older man says, reaching for the young boy. “Come here, Junior, your dad has to go see your mom.”

“I want to go with Daddy!” 

“Junior, listen to grandad,” Ransom tells him, trying to hand him off, but the little boy won’t budge, fisting his father’s shirt in his hands. He cries and Ransom’s brain melts under the stress, unsure what to do.

“We’ll take you to McDonald’s,” Harlan bargains. The tears immediately stop and Junior reaches for his great-grandad. Once in his arms, Ransom makes his escape.

Running through the house, he sweeps up the bag he had packed for this very moment, though he had imagined it going down very differently. 

He drives with his heartbeat in his ears, wildly pulling up to the valet station and shouting at the poor man to ask which way Labor & Delivery is. He should know where it is; he’d been there when Junior was born and he had toured the newly remodeled wing when his wife created the birth plan for right now.

“Uh…”

“Labor. And. Delivery!” he shouts, “Where is it?!”

“I just park cars, sir!” the valet cowers, “You have to ask reception!” 

Slapping the keys into the poor guy’s hand, Ransom runs in and finds the reception desk to ask the same question. Once pointed in the right direction, he runs down the hall, ignoring the staff shouting that he needs to walk. 

Crashing into a second desk, he shouts your name at the receptionist. “Which room is she in?!” 

“Can I have your name first?”

“Drysdale, Ransom Drysdale, I’m her husband, where is she?” 

“Oh,” the nurse says, looking at the computer.

“What? What is it?!” 

“She needed an emergency c-section.”

Ransom’s heart drops. “What-what, what do you mean?”

“Come with me, there’s still time for you to scrub up.”

“Scrub up–wait just tell me what’s wrong!” he shouts as he follows her to the elevator.

The nurse explains on the ride up, before telling him he’ll need to change before entering the operating room. 

“Operating room,” he breathes. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Of course, she will,” she reassures him with a hand on his shoulder. “This procedure is pretty typical.”

“What about the baby?” 

“They’ll be okay too.”

The elevator dings and Ransom continues to follow her as she taps her key card to open a door. Leading him into a locker room, she tells him to store the bag while she turns to another cabinet and pulls out a set of clothes and a hairnet. 

“You can go into one of the stalls and change. Make sure the hair net is below your hairline at the back of your neck, too.” 

In his new set of clothes, Ransom steps out and puts on the shoe covers and follows the nurse again to the operating room. 

Another nurse approaches and they speak for a moment before Ransom is told to follow the second one. 

“Remember to speak quietly since the procedure is underway. There will be a curtain covering the lower half of your wife’s body, so stay on that side of the curtain and don’t look over it until the team tells you to.”

Nodding, Ransom watches the nurse open the door and walk straight to you, whispering in your ear. 

Your neck cranes to look at him. “Ransom,” you smile before your face wrinkles, “Hey.” 

“What the fuck, sunshine?” he sighs exasperatedly as he sits down on the stool the nurse provides for him.

“You seemed pretty tied up at the party.” 

“Tied up enough that you had to sneak off to this hospital on your own?” He takes your hand and moves some hair out of your face. 

You shrug. “You think you can get mad at me later? I’m kind of in the middle of something.” 

He manages a laugh, kissing your forehead, “Sure.” 

As time passes, the minutes are slow as you and Ransom keep yourselves occupied, talking quietly about menial things like what you want to eat afterward. 

Hearing some chatter on the other side of the curtain, Ransom begins to stand, wondering if he’s heard the signal.

“Sir, wait, you need to sit down–”

All the muscles in his face go lax, eyes unable to turn away from the horrific sight of his wife under the knife and–

“Sir,” the nurse calls again, motioning for him to sit down. 

He realizes they didn’t want him to see because nothing would be worse than a man passing out while an operating team cuts open a woman to retrieve a baby from inside her. With that, he plops back into his seat, still dazed.

“Ransom, are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” he wonders, looking down at you. “I feel like you should be in a world of pain right now.”

“I can’t feel anything. Or any pain, I should say. I can feel some movement, though.” You reach up and touch his face, “You sure you’re okay? You're a little pale.”

He swallows, “Yes, of course,” he nods. “I just…saw a little bit more of you than I would’ve liked.”

You hum a laugh. “I hope that doesn’t ruin my sex appeal for you.”

Flustered at your flirting, Ransom snaps out of it, laughing and trying to focus on you. “Never, though…I can’t say it won’t haunt me for a little bit.”

“That’s understandable,” you nod with a sigh. 

You’re interrupted by the sound of crying, your heart leaping knowing your baby is here. 

A nurse brings the infant to you and offers her congratulations. “It’s a boy,” she says. 

“Oh,” you sigh happily, gathering him close and laying him on your shoulder. “Hey, little guy.”

He coos and wails, tiny sounds bringing you to tears yourself. You look up at Ransom, adoring the awe-stricken look on his face. 

“Your second son,” you tell him. “Your birthday buddy.” 

Placing a gentle hand on the baby’s back, Ransom sighs. “What is up with our kids stealing people’s birthdays?” 

You laugh and Ransom couldn’t be happier.

- - – - -

After standing at the top of the world, Ransom should’ve known coming back down would have hurt. 

It was important to remember his son was perfectly healthy. All ten fingers and all ten toes, bright eyes that looked around curiously, strong lungs and heart. 

Then, he failed the hearing screening. And the second one after that. And the third one. 

He stared at him in the nursery, feeling trapped in the hospital as he stayed with you while you recovered after surgery. Even when going back to the house to check on Junior and Linda, his mind was still with you and Spencer. 

He loved the name; it made his heart sink to consider that he may not ever hear it. 

“Is there…something you want to talk about?” Linda offers as she sits on the opposite side of the couch, the two of them watching Junior lounge on the floor as he watches a TV show.

There’s a part of Ransom that wants to keep it in, that barrier between himself and his mother still constructed and difficult to look past. This time, he’s unable to hold everything back.

“Spencer…the baby. He can’t hear,” he shakes his head. “Y/N said sometimes it’s genetic, but neither of us has a history of hearing loss in our families. It’s just the cards he was dealt.”

“Ransom,” his mother sighs, “There’s something you should know.” 

“What?”

“Your father has a history of hearing loss in his family. One of his siblings can’t hear.” 

Ransom presses his hands into his face. 

He has to tell you.

- - - - - 

Ransom sits next to you, watching as you hold Spencer to your breast to have him feed. It’s a wonderful image, something he wants to stow away in a corner of his mind to remember on difficult days. 

You’ve given him everything; made him change for the better and turned him into a family man. 

He’s done his best to provide for you in ways he knows how. He loves you with every fiber of his being, tries to be a good father. 

What kind of father gives his child a hearing loss?

“I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” you reply, slowly looking away from Spencer and toward your husband.

His eyes sting with tears, “I know why he can’t hear.”

You smile and shake your head, “Ransom, there doesn’t need to be a reason, things like this happen. And who knows, it might not even be anything. We just have to wait until we see the audiologist–”

“But, sunshine…hearing loss runs in my dad’s family,” his eyes drift downward. “My mom told me. One of my dad’s siblings is deaf.” 

You’re quiet and the guilt consumes him, tears falling. “It’s my fault.” 

“Hey,” you call to him. “Look at me.”

He wipes his eyes, meeting your gaze.

“You did nothing wrong. Nobody blames you for anything. Look at him.”

Both of you spare a glance at your son before you speak again. “He’s perfect just the way he is. We knew he wouldn’t be exactly like Junior; we knew he’d come with his own needs and conditions. This is one of them.”

“How can I be a father to him? I can’t even talk to him.” 

“I know sign language,” you tell him. “I use it all the time to talk to the nonverbal kids.”

“But…we both look after Junior, I can’t just not parent Spencer too–”

“I’ll teach you and Junior. You’ll both learn. And there are other options, too. We just have to talk to the audiologist when we can. Ransom,” you reach for him, wincing at the pain in your stomach. “We can do this. I know you can do this.” 

Squeezing your hand, Ransom cups the back of his son’s head. Pursing his lips, he nods, believing he could do anything with you. 

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Ransom tag: @jeremyrennermakesmesmile

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[damn-it-a-hogwarts-legacy-blog]

Some questions for your HC

do you think Ominis would remarry if Isabel died, and vice versa? If Isabel is cursed the same curse as Anne, do you think Ominis would be like Sebastian when finding a cure? If we follow the same timeline as HP, then Marvolo would have Merope and Morfin, so do you think Ominis would have any involvement with that entire mess? If so, where does Isabel and their children fall into that situation? Tysm 😃

OOH, so many questions, thank you!

1: oh noooo this is so sad 😭 well they’re both super super old and still alive together bc I say so lmao but hmm, I think Isabel might remarry? No idea who she would marry, tho. I kinda don’t feel like thinking about it, I’ve never been the type who could write my faves going through that level of angst lol. I can’t see Ominis recovering from that tho. He’s not quite as resilient as Isabel.

2: this is a super interesting question! A part of me thinks Ominis would be like Sebastian, tbh. Like, it’s one thing to be on the other side fearing for the wellbeing of your friends, but quite another to actually be in Sebastian’s place. I could see Ominis’ spiral being more gradual, idk if it would end quite like Sebastian, but I kinda love the idea of an alternate timeline in which Ominis goes down that path for the love of his life. It would take way more to scare Isabel and Sebastian than it would Anne, Solomon and Ominis, so Ominis could go unchecked much longer than Sebby lol. Perhaps if the Gaunts cursed Isabel, Ominis would be the one to exterminate all of them except Marvolo and whoever his spouse was for whatever reason… DAMN that would be an excellent story, I’ve been looking for an excuse to write Dark!Ominis, that would be super fun. Ok I’m adding it to my drafts after I finish answering this lmao. No guarantees when it will be done, but it will be there for me to chip away at. Thank you, anon, for your inspiration >:)

3: in my HCs, Ominis has totally cut off his family, having zero contact except for the times when the Gaunts find him and Isabel. I like to think Ominis doesn’t even know Merope and Morfin exist until that whole mess is reported in the papers in the 1920s. There is one small exception, tho, in that when his and Isabel’s kids are old enough to go to Hogwarts, Isabel takes her kids aside and says “if you ever come across anyone with the last name of Gaunt, kick their asses for mommy—just don’t tell your father” 😂

That’s something I started writing a few months ago, actually—I ended up scrapping it because it went nowhere and just rambled, but I like to imagine Ominis had thus far been living a peaceful, happy life with his new family and not being too bothered by the fact that the rest of the Gaunts stopped harassing him and his family as they slowly killed each other off, then he reads the Prophet article about them in the 1920s and it’s like he’s right back to being a teenager again, reminded of everything his old family did to him as all the trauma rushes back and he grieves for the fact that they never even gave him the opportunity to reconcile with them.

If you’ve ever seen that famous Bojack Horseman episode with the funeral, there’s one part where Bojack talks about what losing a parent is like (here, from 0:52 onward). That’s kinda what I’m going for with Ominis learning all the other Gaunts are dead: his relationship with them was never good, but he didn’t even realize he had been holding onto that hope of things getting better until they were long dead. Ominis still knows his real family is with Isabel and their now-grown children and possibly grandchildren, but he is still devastated.

I think this is really at the crux of why Ominis is my favorite. I’ve experienced this irl, and it’s why I have such a hard time doing things like imagining the scenarios in the first question; I like being able to go through this alongside a fictional character like Ominis, but I also need him to be happy in other parts of his life because I do too. Sort of wish fulfillment I guess, it’s sometimes difficult to describe lol

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 35 IS HITTING LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE TROPES,, the ao3 outage earlier this week KILLED me right during my standard "rereading the latest chapter over and over" frenzy,,,

this one had me throwing my phone on my bed and covering my face w my hands like a flustered maiden. losing my fucking shit the entire time

the sudden "theres something going on that all the staff are whispering about" had me like,, what the fuck is going on,, is someone DEAD? and a momentary "HOW MANY MONTHS HAS IT BEEN SINCE THAT ULTIMATUM" and then its naoya's dumb ass getting himself sick. i'd be annoyed at him if it weren't for the incredible scenes this grants us later in the chapter

(and its also SO FUNNY *how* he got sick-- literally stranded in some cursed energy zone all pathetic and alone. just like my sad kicked dog description i keep using for him. he is embodying it fully and truly.)

when naoya's staff came up to y/n like "its about naoya's health we need you" i was like "ohh the drama is he gonna die without her there or something" and,, turns out thats exactly it he probably would've died from refusing to take medicine if she weren't there. glorious. hes so pathetic its unreal (affectionate)

THEYRE FINALLY ALONE TOGETHER AGAIN,, it feels like its been so long and it apparently has been for him-- feeling like its been centuries since hes seen her. ME TOO MF MAYBE IF YOU WERE LESS OF AN ASSHOLE WE COULDVE BEEN HERE EARLIER

"it feels like you could literally do just about anything with him and he wouldn't be able to stop it" - "you were sure you could control him" Y/N,, GIRL,, YOU WANNA TOP HIM SO BAD OOO YOU WANT TO DOM HIM SO BAD. IM CHEERING FOR YOU (she might've been thinking more about murder. but i know what i was thinking) that followed by the "holding the cup directly to his lips to make him drink" scene is killing me. im going insane for them.

she FINALLY gets to interrogate his ass and he CAN'T go anywhere or do anything about it this whole scene was AMAZING. we get so much added dimension to both of them with y/n finally getting to snap on him somewhat and say/ask all the things she's been hiding, and naoya finally showing a little bit of that vulnerability with the discussion about the records and his mother. there's SO much going on here and i can't WAIT to see how that's gonna unfold in the next chapter ft. all sorts of flashbacks

i would read like 35 more chapters of just these sick shenanigans going on tbh. naoya's pov during this kinda thing would be so interesting too-- how deliriously out of it is he actually? is he gonna be absolutely mortified at this behavior when he's more lucid? i could also imagine him pretending to be sick for wayyy longer than he really is just so y/n won't leave,,,

outstanding showstopping amazing. i cant wait to see whats next!

Hi!!!! AAAA sorry for taking a while to get back to your ask, however I must say that when I saw this pop up on my inbox I was going through somewhat of a sad moment, and this made me very happy :’) So thank you!! 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

Now onto the juicy details…

I’m 100% aware that I’ve been writing nothing less than indulging tropes… AND I’M GLAD ABOUT IT HAHAHAH I’M NEVER GONNA STOP

I think I might’ve been a bit dramatic when writing the reaction from the staff. But after everything that happened… there’s no other way for them to react 😂 The never-ending drama in the Naoya-Y/N soap opera has them on edge, they saw this coming and was only a matter of waiting when it would occur.

It makes me wonder what Naobito’s opinion about this whole charade was 🤔 From disappointment towards his son, to amusement when hearing that Naoya has been incessantly calling for Y/N. He probably lurked around as close as he could to get a better look of what was happening, maybe even bringing some popcorn to enjoy the show. Y/N was right to assume that his family would’ve intervened to force her into aiding Naoya, although… not because they cared but rather because Naobito was tired of things being boring.

Omg… who does he ship Y/N with? Naoya or Naoaki? WTF am I even saying lmao 😂 I need to log off.

As for the timeline… please don’t ask me about it AHAHAH I feel like after all the things that happened, if I were to sit down and determine how much time has passed since the beginning of the story… it would probably be like 5 years or so lol —well, it certainly feels like it anyways. But I will set a time frame in the following chapters to give you an example of how long it’s been, if it’s believable anyways 😂 Thank god it’s fiction AMIRITE? (excuse my lazy writing 😭)

Anyways, the way he got sick is exactly as you described: overall pathetic. There really is no better words to say, serves to show how he’s slowly losing himself 💀😂 ah, poor Naoya, but can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. I wonder what he actually did in those missing days?

I’m very surprised y/n was involved at all for there’s no way the staff didn’t know of their tumultuous relationship. This more likely than not could’ve worsened his situation… and if she was truly vengeful she could’ve taken this chance to kill him and yet, they still had faith on her, believed she would somehow ignore all the horrible things he had done to her and do the right thing. And in that matter, they don’t deserve Y/N lol. Once again if she were a bit more unhinged, she could easily be a Tomie-type of character… but where’s the fun in that? (at least for what I have in mind, not gonna say that writing that kind of story isn’t intriguing hehe)

Well, the threat of her being forced by her in-laws lingered in the back of her mind, perhaps even her main motivator, but all things considered she decided to do so because, well, she’s not completely evil. She should’ve been a bit harsher… but well, that doesn’t really align to the values she was taught with.

Talking about the alone part… wow. It has been a while since we saw them together like that; like what, 10 chapters? Lol Still, if Y/N had been that unhinged she could’ve been like “I’m taking my ladies with me AND Naoaki for my well-being” and that would’ve murdered Naoya and his staff immediately. HAHAHAH Can you imagine that though? Still, I won’t say that doesn’t sound a bit ridiculous 😂 the whole family reunited in his room lol.

But yeah!! It’s been so long, and it’s finally happening… under relatively normal conditions where Naoya isn’t terrorizing her. It does make me wonder how their time at the ryokan during their honeymoon was like… I might write about it… some snippets here and there (or if someone wants to send in an ask of what they think happened heheh) anyways, her being in this position of power is a bit unnerving to her, and within reason. From being berated almost daily, to being in a situation where she can literally do anything and who’s gonna stop her?????

Well, Y/N isn’t that crazy like Naoya, but I’m sure she’ll make the most out of this situation anyways.

AS FOR THE TOPPING IMPLICATION…. Damn. I didn’t even think about it like that hahah I was out here imagining how “Y/N wants to beat him up, make him suffer, so he can get a taste of what she’s been through………….” And then you show me the other side of the coin where she might want to top him DAMN that’s an interesting perspective of something that might happen further down the road…. AHAHAHHAHA I won’t say anything more.

Either way, not that the aspect of “intimacy” has been brought up, for me those moments that Y/N was taking care of Naoya felt… well, intimate, if that makes sense. Probably a delusion from my side, but it’s the kind of domestic things I want to see happening between the two 😭 no more drama or fighting, just the two being in a healthy, happy relationship. Like Naoya coming back injured from a mission and Y/N tending for him because she cares for him, not because she’s being forced or because Naoya was acting stupid or whatever.

But we shall see, we’re getting somewhere after all :>

The highlights of this chapter would definitely be Naoya opening up to Y/N (although a bit, and when he’s not 100% him, but it’s something…) and Y/N talking (or more like demanding) to know about the records and why he’s acting like that… even though she doesn’t believe him that much lol.

NGL I’m excited for the next chapter, it’s going to be flashbacks that will certainly affect their relationship—something I’ve been wanting to write too! Like, I hadn’t said anything about Tomoko outside of Naoaki’s perspective, but what about Naoya?! What’s his relationship with her like? How was she during her last days at the Estate? And for Y/N, HOW DID MINAKO DIE? Oof, very interesting indeed.

The following chapter, whether for the worse or for the better, is necessary for their marriage. As well as his sickness :> We’re finally getting development for the two yall!!

Anyways, thank you so much for your patience and support! We’re slowly moving forward to the “good stuff” that I cannot WAIT to post!!! There’s also a few more tropes (I guess) that I want to introduce… some that I think are very obvious (of course, because I know what’s happening lmao) 😂 but I can’t help but indulge on them!!!! It’s like an addiction, I must… have… it.

Once again, thank you so much for being patient with me during this short break 🥺❤️ I hope you like the next chapters!! Take care, have a wonderful week, and hope to see you soon!!

[jazzy-art-time]

Ramblings about Ulbrecht below the cut because I’m having feelings and slapping down useless character shit into the public space is my job

Warning for sensitive content mentioned under the cut (will tag accordingly)

Originally Ulbrecht was just gonna be a kinda one off guy for AskScrafty. Just someone to be “competition” with Solo, to help him gain some courage and such.

Someone older than Jody that Solo despised their relationship over. Enough to become brave enough to stand up to Ulbrecht and confess his true feelings to Jody. Then Ulbrecht would just kinda fade into irrelevance after a bit, same with Oxide.

But then Solo kinda developed in his own way. Then the addition of Priest and other concepts made Ulbrecht’s addition obsolete and kinda pointless.

So I started working more on the Arc that Ulbrecht/Oxide appear in. Making it more about Jody being separated from everyone else and how that effects her and how it effects Diane (who becomes afflicted with her curse in Jody’s absence).

But then I thought about Jody and what I could do to bring more to the table on her relationship building.

Ulbrecht originally was just. Something she could smash like I’m sorry it’s blunt and vulgar but that was basically it. And Oxide was just Ulbrecht’s little “lacky” that occasionally swore. Nothing major

So then I started to develop Ulbrecht and Oxide more to add flavor. Giving Ulbrecht some basic bitch “oh I’m a assassin I kill people ooooo aren’t I sexy” kinda thing. And Oxide becoming more of a “loveable sidekick” to Ulbrecht. Less “dumb lacky for Ulbrecht to pick on and bring him his slippers” but more of a legit person with a actual personality

Then I looked into Ulbrecht and Oxide in general. Oxide was a orphan that Ulbrecht picked up to use as a lacky. So I went huh. Now that their relationship is better, maybe we can kinda get some “adopted this lost child” going on. Cuz I’m a sucker for found family.

Then their relationship got more wholesome and whatnot and I was satisfied. But then I just. Ulbrecht I just didn’t see anything with him. I didn’t have anything for him other than “crybaby backstory now I kill people for money”.

So naturally I had to work into it deeper and what IS Ulbrecht’s backstory. And at THAT point I realized I needed to make a drastic change to everything in a way that I enjoyed.

So here we are now.

Ulbrecht grew up with his sister and his parents. His father is a horrible person, real into illegal gambling and other things of that nature. Naturally the father drags his family down with him.

Ulbrecht eventually loses his mother after his father gambles with some Russian Roulette (using her as the subject) and it kills her.

Once his mother is gone, Ulbrecht and his sister are entirely under his fathers control.

His father decides to use Ulbrecht for little odd dangerous errands on his behalf. Usually to have Ulbrecht take the beating for not paying gambling losses.

Eventually father begins to see how “sturdy” Ulbrecht is and how quickly he seems to heal.

Father gets like. Trademark BigDollarSign Eyes. And decides to enter Ulbrecht into those under ground fight rings, basically forcing a 15 year old to fight grown adults in a under ground ring.

Ulbrecht learns to get good at fighting (he snaps a bit) and father ends up making a lot of money off him.

Ulbrecht also ends up getting someone pregnant at 15 and gets stuck with the baby (I won’t go into much detail about this as it involves grooming)

Father kills the woman who Ulbrecht was with because she was a creep, but forces Ulbrecht to keep the baby as “real men stand behind their mistakes” or some bullshit reasoning. His father is a awful person just reiterating. So his morals and things he shoved on Ulbrecht are supposed to be irrational and stupid (much like irl people deal with these situations COUGH I’mnotprojecting COUGH)

So Ulbrecht begins to have to juggle with raising a baby at 15 along with continuing his fathers fight club. (With SOME help from his sister when father wasn’t watching, as he told her to not help Ulbrecht)

So the baby is, quite simply. That is Oxide. Oxide is now Ulbrecht’s biological father. So that explains their connection now.

Ulbrecht grows up and such, eventually leaving the “underground fighting” and becoming a more well known legit fighter. He uses most of his money to help raise Oxide and get him what he needs (the other half goes to Father)

And reaching the point to where he’s in the blog, he’s a full on lethal ass higher dude. I don’t wanna say boxing because his fights are still more brutal. Like those underground fights but more legal if that makes sense. So now he’s a big beefy guy with his 19 year old son.

He still works for his father and such but he’s accepted it by now.

Until Jody comes into play. Lost and away from everyone else she ends up in Ulbrecht’s company (I can’t say more spoilers or something idk I’m working on it)

Eventually they enjoy each others company. Both eventually confide in one another with their CSA experiences. Because both really just shove it out of their head but seeing the other deal with it helps both of them really “come to terms” with it and begin proper healing

And blahblahblagblag did anyone even read all of this? I don’t care I typed it out anyways

But yeah. Ulbrecht has come a long way for me as my character and honestly I just am happy he’s like. A character now? And not like… NPC who speaks twice then explodes.

I know nobody really cares that much about ask-Scrafty but listen. Listen to me. I have spent a unholy amount of time on the characters and story for that specific thing. They are important to me in more ways than one and I will DIE on this hill over these stupid lizards.

[aquadestinyswriting]

Happy Muse Monday!

For any one of your characters, or even all of them if they all feel like answering, what is the scariest thing you have encountered so far in your adventures?

(Answering this for the 'Main Cast' since I have a bunch of stories for this question. All of it is under a cut because this is going to get long due to banter. Tagging @druidx and @blind-the-winds because you're going to love the answers here.)

Meredith: Hi there, sorry it took so long to get back to ye. There was some sort of lurgy making the rounds this past week. We're all fine now, so we can finally get around to answering this. I'll start us off then. The scariest thing I've encountered? Well, I have two things that're tied fer that... honour? Dishonour? Eh, whatever. The first one is flooded mineshafts. Our entire party kinda... forgot that our kit would weigh us down when we decided to tak' the quickest route to Torg's lair the first time. Needless to say two of our party drowned and the rest of us almost followed suit. It's not an experience I'd like to repeat at any time in the near future.

Yoruk: Ye did what?!

Meredith; *cringing* Ah, aye... I forgot I didn't tell ye that bit...

Yoruk: ....

Meredith: Anywho... The second one is that damn giant Dire Weasel. If ye don't know what a Dire Weasel is, it's a weasel, but bigger and spikier. They're generally around... two, three feet long usually. This one was around 5 feet long, spikier and with tonnes more teeth. It's a bit disconcerting when there's a rat-like face full o' teeth that's at the same level as yer face chasing ye through the Underpass. That one is tied in top place because it did manage to kill one of our party pretty much outright and just days after we lost Alphonse and Lorcian, so it wasn't the best time.

Yoruk: *muttering* Moradin give me strength. Are there any other instances ye almost died that I don't know about?

Meredith: noooooo....

Selene: *steps into the middle of the incoming domestic* Scariest thing we've ever encountered you say? Well, I could say something about losing my original library to the Hellmouth, but honestly? The scariest thing I've ever encountered was actually a trap in an abandoned temple. If I recall correctly we made it past the first trap ok (a simple corridor-long pit trap, nothing too challenging), but the second one was... well. I don't like spells that affect the mind, especially if they're malicious. And the trap in that second corridor was both. Now, I didn't end up getting trapped myself, so I was spared that particular trauma. Unfortunately, out of our whole six person party, I was the only one who wasn't. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to see all of your friends fall into a catatonic state with no idea how to snap them out of it in a place that has so many other dangers and is hundreds of miles from the nearest village? I can handle physical dangers just fine, throw a big enough fireball in its face and it'll probably run off with its tail between its legs. Mental ones? *shudders*

Edwin: *blinking* Ok, that just makes my scariest thing look like peanuts in comparison, but I might as well say what it was. Frankly it was the demon scorpion - or was it spider?- thing that burst out of Granny Apple at the start of the Demon War. Now it wasn't that I was afraid of the demon itself. It was more the fact that it had been able to infest then kill one of the most ancient Treants on Titan that also happens to be a direct creation of Galana Herself. Being faced with a creature that could kill something that was so powerful was a bit terrfying.

Yoruk: *sighs* I mean, mine is going to be a wee bit cliché by now, but for me it was seeing what my birth-giver became once she had the opportunity to amass as much power as she wanted. I mean, she was always probably more demon than dwarf, but seeing that physically was... aye... Were it not for my friends and remaining family, I'd begin to think her line was Cursed or summat and worry about heading down the same path.

Meredith: I honestly dinna think that's anywhere near cliché, love. It'd be a wee bit worrying if it was. Anyway, I hope all that answered yer question.

[dirtytransmasc]

when I agreed to Tumblrs terms and services, I also agreed to find the most traumatized, skrunkly, saddest, repressed and depressed, prettiest, morally reprehensible yet completely blameless little guy in every piece of media I consume in my lifetime and I must defend him with my life no matter his actions.

I watched house of the dragons, and I'm now fighting for my life to defend this little shit;

Listen, hear me out, if anyone had intervened at one of many important points of his life or shown him (or really any of Alicent's kids, cause from the looks of it, she never truly loved those kids) any amount of love or attention OR treated these kids as anything more than political pieces; this little shit may have been more than an attention seeking brat.

his whole childhood he was bullied by his big brother and his cousins (who he was constantly told were scum beneath his boots, which first off a child should never have been involved in moral politics like that at such a young age, but knowing what he did had to feel even worse when his cousins poked and prodded him), the only person who seemed to give the tiniest shit was his bitter mother, his own father played dumb to his abuse and neglect. his entire childhood he was taught that your worth was in your strength and ability, in your smarts, your dragon. so when he was always behind his brother, his cousins (the bastards), when he never had a dragon, he was made to feel lesser then. he was taunted by his own parents for acting out against the mistreatment.

Then when he makes a stupid, childish mistake (he was definitely in the wrong, but also, it kinda makes sense why he did it, he was young, stupid, and so desperate for anything to make him seem worthwhile in anyone's eyes, even if it wasn't his parents), of stealing laena's dragon from her girls, and he subsequently engages in a childish fight where more childish decisions were made that cost him his eye; he was once again treated as nothing more then a political piece, in a political race, that he is set to lose. he lost his eye and the discussion at hand became that of politics and infighting amongst a drama that had festered between his mother and aunt since they were young. what happened, from him takin the dragon to him losing his eye and everything in between never mattered, it was what stabs could be taken against either family that mattered, how Alicent could hurt Rhaenyra. it was proven once again, he as a person, didn't matter, he was just a pawn.

he grew up with no sense of self, seeing as the only people of worth were higher on the food chain, so he spent his time trying to attract any sort of attention (good or bad), and having his eye set on the race, wanting to bring himself higher so he would mean something. he was stupid and childish because he was never taught to be another way. he inherited his mother's bitterness and his father's naivety, he hid behind a mask of confidence, fighting ability, and study's. that's how he survived, that's how he had always survived, and it never worked. throughout his time on the show we see the small bit of kindness, sense of self, and humanity that remained at his premiere at around 10, be snuffed out and smothered over the course of the show. he was miserable

I think what he did to Lucerys was intentional, but in the way a child intends to kill another. deep down, I don't think that was his intention, not really. his want was surface level but it wasn't until after the deed was done he realized the true impact of his actions. they were no longer words or thoughts, it was an irreversible action that I believe his felt remorse for.

had anyone intervened in his early life, ever so slightly, I think aemond had the chance to be good and beautiful; but he was cursed from the womb, just like his brother, and just like the rest of his family. power corrupted him because he was taught power was your only value.

~~~

I am fighting so hard for him, I am truly pulling things from my ass. I don't know why my chemically unbalanced brain has taken such an affinity to him, I shouldhate him and his smarmy little attitude. but he is just my little guy I guess, my poor little meow meow.

there were so many points in the show where I was just yelling at the screen because it was so clear to me how he could have been saved from a life of angst and anger and no one stepped up to give him a chance. I was just sitting there, begging someone to hug him or something, show him he was more then just his power. had I been their aemond would have been raised right, he would have been good and kind.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ask about BTS and the clarification of hiatus

i hope u dont mind me venting but honestly the announcement came at such a horrible time for me :( i was already struggling with my mental health, having to deal with moving forward in life (and being absolutely lost), lack of a social life and studying problems for the past couple of months. and just this morning all that bottled emotion finally burst and i had a rather embarrasing mental breakdown in the middle of a big crowd. on top of being sick this past weekend, assuming it to be just fever only to find out it was freaking covid. and also being far from family and not being able to go back home despite already making plans - it was just a very horrible day for me. and then BAM bts hiatus 😦

i watched the live and although i was insanely shocked (found out about it on twt) and feeling incredibly sad, i get where the members are coming from. as i reached this new stage in my life, where (hehe) life goes on, i find myself…stuck. just like the members, covid had a big impact on my life and me personally. it disrupted all the plans i had for my life and i truly think my life right now would be so different if the pandemic had never happened. and along the way i kinda lost myself and i just do not know what the hell im doing anymore. to the point where i question my entire existence like, is this really who i want to be? and the members feeling the same way, wanting to express themselves freely, rediscovering their identity idk theyre really brave to be able to do that :’) i just wish i am able to do the same for myself. as disappointed i was when i heard the news, i understood that this was a much needed thing for bts as a whole and i’ll continue supporting them as much as i do now

also to add on, i turned to bts a lot whenever i feel down so the word ‘hiatus’ really scared me a lot bc of the curse it has on other groups. where hiatus would usually mean unofficial disbandment, i was afraid that i would lose yet another thing in my life that made me genuinely happy. i know im being a tid bit overdramatic but damn the worst possible scenario came to mind when i found out and i was SCARED. but after the live, them clarifying what would happen during the break and i have had time to process it, i was confused as to why they used the word hiatus cause they would still have some group activities, right? right??

As far as I interpreted it, it is a hiatus from BTS music as a group, and they will currently be putting their efforts into the members' solo work. BTS said themselves that they were not disbanding.

It is a shift in focus. They were telling ARMY that, at the moment, the music they were trying to make as a group was lacking the sincerity or story they used to have. It wasn't moving in a direction that they liked and they were feeling at a loss for what to do, so they decided they needed some time apart to pour themselves into their own identities and interests.

BTS will be continuing group activities but of course they can't say what (hello, spoilers? XD). They did mention filming one-off Run BTS! episodes! :D And (assuming HYBE has business sense) I feel that there is a high likelihood they will continue things like ARMY Membership content, Seasons Greetings, stuff like that. They have always said the fans are most important and I believe they will push out content that they think the fans will like. :)

I would like to think of it as new and different content rather than the content we used to expect from them.

Mmm, think of SHINee for example. Each individual member has really strong solo careers: ONEW in musical / theater acting, Minho in drama acting, KEY in fashion / variety shows, Taemin has album upon album of solo music (the rest of the members also have solo albums but not as much as Taemin LMAO). They are part of SM Entertainment (ew, sorry I don't like the company, bleh), so obviously the situation is different; SM have much more of a "factory" style of releases.

HYBE and BTS have a symbiotic relationship. HYBE do not control BTS (they couldn't even if they tried lol) and, also, they understand that good music comes from a personal place but when you've already written about that place over and over and over, it won't be as good anymore, you know? BTS talk about real experiences... so that's what they're going to do, have experiences, yet they're all different people and some of them don't want to game for 20 hours a day, eating two meals in four days LOL

(can't imagine why, it's great, not healthy but great :D)

ANYWAY

Remember Taehyung said he's marrying all of BTS (regardless of Seokjin's protests) so there's no need to worry, they will be together for a long time. :)

I don't want to discount the hardships you're going though. Sounds tough, but don't think of this as one of them, okay? This is a unique chance to see the individual members' colors, to see their creativity and their polished shine, and tbh I'm sure they will make cameos in each other's work (Yoongi already told JK to use him as a producer, I'm sure JK makes enough to pay that expensive rate it's probably in lamb skewers anyway).

Everyone moves at a different pace and encounters different obstacles in life. You may feel like you're aimlessly wandering now, on a island all alone, but there's much in learn even when lost in the forest, even when you feel that there's danger in every corner. BTS are still here and they aren't going anywhere. Is this not the best universe because BTS are here? :)

And, remember BTS In The SEOM is coming out the end of this month, we'll have a step-by-step guide on how to survive being marooned on an island on the back of a flying whale, shupshup

plus Yoongi gaming OST, POGGIES!

[khaleesiofalicante]

"In retrospective, I can see you gave me very little and I tried to build an entire future with it. You must understand, I had never been remembered like that, before. With purpose. Without begging for it. I took what I was offered and I ran away."

Malec being so fricking cheesy and in love in this trying times is superior 😎 They are idiots in love 😂😂

Magnus saying all the Super Babes have cool powers and shit as if this man isn't one of the most powerful and amazing of all times, owns a hell dimension, and ffs, he created the portal!!!

Maybe love was Alec’s superpower. Who taught you to love like that, Alec Lightwood?

I can confirm we are attracted to him anyway😌

No, no, no. Catarina is literally the most precious babe ever!! Leave her out of this😭

Keep an eye on your family!! Fuck! Also I love how this time, he feels rage. In lbaf he felt grief and pain and fear, but now he is feeling rage. And that is something else!

Yeah Magnus, call her bullshit out!! But omg both Alec and Magnus have suicidal wishes?

He can fucking teleport!!!! How fucking cooler can this man get???

I should make a list of all the things that are going wrong at this point 😂

MY FAVE PARABATAI 😍

“We should just kill them both,” Lexi shrugged. “Actually, let’s kill all the Devlins.” I don't know why no one is listening to her, she seems the most rational one

Ben and Lexi jshdididi THE SASS OF MY QUEER KIDS 😎

Izzy is so Iconic for this tbh

“And because you look like you make questionable life choices.” this is literally my friends asking for something they wouldn't ask someone else

Although I do agree Raziel is an idiot, their interactions always make me laugh so much😂😂

They have the wrong Max?? Jfc, Max is getting popular now

Luci, man, can you come back a few centuries from now on? We are kinda in the middle of something

His power is cool af!!! Wait, so if Raziel had smitten Ben with heavenly fire, what would have happened?

The warlock smiled. “Do you know the secret to defeating a monster, Lexi?”

“What is it?”

“You find a bigger one."

So we get the Prince of Darkness or Lucifer? No big deal at all :))

Max is really Maryse's favorite grandchild, huh?

Sometimes getting back something you lost hurt more than losing it. I didn't expect Maryse and Max Trueblood angst rn😭

Everyone being a little annoyed by Magnus' power and Alec being a little turned on is the most Alec thing ever kdhdkdjdkdn

They were gone for .5 seconds. Mavid are unhinged!! If Magnus was already cursed on walking in on every couple, this will get worse!!

If they don't get to zip zap our way out of this, I am suing!!!

Hunter saying some of the most cryptic shit ever and Mallory thinking how Max will look like 🙂🔪

Look, I fucking hate them all, but that was peak manipulation by Hunter. I say we should all go with Lexi's plan and kill them all

.... And I thought this family couldn't get any creepier?!?!? Now Zombi-Marcus-searching-for-Camilla is out there 🙂 FUCK

This family is unbelievable!!! Claire was practically asking for it, but...bitch wtf???

This quote kinda had me 🥹

Also this is literally Alec/Max about their SO I can’t 🤭

[possibly-in-wonderland]

tw/cw: me venting about having a past with a restrictive ed under the cut, view at your own risk

i'm NOT going back to eating so little and starving myself, but ever since i started recovering i have no place i can openly talk about anything and everything. the dragonfly's nest (which is what i call the ed forum i was apart of) was practically my lifeline, where i would talk to people and we wouldn't have to hide our true selves. i was the splenda-addicted, eating-disordered hobbit (literally what i called myself). i was notorious for coffee with unholy amounts of splenda. i would openly say, "man, only a couple more hours left and then i can eat" or i'd even talk about things not ed-related (like my rabbit or guitar).

but i still need an outlet where i can talk.

i got so use to using the dragonfly's nest as an outlet that now i second guess every little thing i post here on tumblr for fear of losing people i've grown close to (even if we don't actually talk, i still feel connections to my mutuals, and idk their backgrounds or what they secretly struggle with, so i dont wanna accidentally trigger them with something ed related, even if it's recovery-related, this is the best i can do to vent and make sure everyone knows what topic is under the cut above).

i know i'm not alone in this, but i still feel alone. the dragonfly's nest felt like family. people get things about ed forums and pro-ana wrong all the time.

we don't force eachother to get skinny or anything, in fact we encourage others to get better and go into recovery, but we're not the type to harp on anyone about it, we know it's hard af.

and pro-ana doesn't mean "i want everyone to be anorexic" it means "i'm anorexic, and i'm not ready to recover". maybe it meant a different thing in the early-2000s, but it means something different now.

i wasted a majority of last year with this fucking curse, and, luckily, now the only thing im scared of is eating poptarts (granted, they taste awful anyway).

although i don't like the thought of wasting my days away thinking about the next calorie i put in my mouth, i also kinda miss it. it was something to do and i felt in control of something. i know people feel "nostalgia" for their ed's and it's not uncommon. i had an addiction to the feeling of being empty and the feeling of standing up and almost blacking out and being dizzy (even though i almost cracked my skull on the corner of the kitchen counter one time).

the only things that pulled me out of my ed was working with hephaestus and getting obsessed with the hobbit/lotr. at this point, if im not thinking about being a witchy princess warrior lady in the realm of middle earth, then i start to slowly hate my body. not entirely, just...a little.

[venusiansilk]

⋆˙⟢ STRAWBERRY FIELDS.

in a fear of losing you, satoru lets a guy on reddit convince him he wants to pick strawberries with you, but bees are so jealous of him.

f!reader ⊹ no curses, slice of life au ⊹ domestic fluff. humor. est rel ⊹ satoru is a rich, successful nepotism baby. reader is a girl boss ig /endearingly. there’s kinda crude humor from the subreddit gang, but it is brief. sukuna is a menace no matter what reality. yuuta tries. geto tries. megumi megumis. yuuji, my wholesome son. ⊹ 4.9k. ⊹ footnote. i posted yesterday for baby’s birthday and del by accident so not cash money of me.

꒰ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 ! ꒱

satoru is aware that he isn’t a largely romantic kind of man, but he is indeed quite needy where your time is concerned. lately, he’s having a difficult time shaking this strange feeling that he’s not enough for you anymore. he can’t alleviate this budding insecurity that you’re tired of being with him.

he doesn’t necessarily have a lot of time to spend with you, to begin with, so when his schedule is clear, he wants nothing more than to lay in bed with you and pretend the rest of the world is only partially real for the entire day. of course, he knows you understand that he works hard and he’s exhausted most of the time. because of that, you don’t make remarks about how idle he prefers to be during your time together, but he notices how distant you’ve become over the last couple of weeks, even when you’re securely wrapped in his embrace. he doesn’t typically catch cues all that well, but there’s no mistaking the way you’re glued to your phone, never really paying attention to the movie or the drama you both choose, not paying as much attention to him. he notices how you tell him you’re going out halfway through the day. he’s only been home from his business trip for three weeks and you already have other things you’d rather do than be with him? he was just gone for two full months, flying all over the world, securing deals and building partnerships that make his family’s legacy golden with pride. and of those months, he saw you for only one week in total out of it. none of it was consecutive. it was arguably the most difficult obstacle your long relationship has faced, but you got through it and he’s home now with no intention of taking on such a big project ever again, at least not where his presence is such a necessity. so why does he get the feeling that he can’t possibly get enough of you but you’ve already had enough of him? the last few days you kiss him quickly and rush out the door, he only offers a disappointed pout you can never see and a nod. it hurts a little, but only because he doesn’t know why you would rather leave than talk about it so you can both work it out together. he considers, perhaps, you’re not ready to say quite yet. he supposes everyone is entitled to their unspoken worry, even himself. it does cause a small fissure to etch itself inside the chasm of his chest, though, allowing that worry and doubt to seep into the rest of him.

is she growing bored of me?

it’s been five years and the last few have been riddled with lengthy absences and sleeping together over facetime calls because of his work. his schedule is already always a chaotic tsunami made of time consumption, but despite it, satoru always makes it a priority to fulfill his personal boyfriend quota to ensure he spends quality time with you. although, lately, it feels like you don’t want that. this morning when he woke up, you were already rushing around so fast, he felt dizzy watching you desperately trying to dress yourself and dash out the door with hardly even a kiss or a word. it felt like you were trying to get away before he even had the opportunity to ask to keep you for the day. he knows if he utters the words ‘baby, please stay’ then you will with no questions asked, so it feels like you won’t let him get even a simple good morning in.

is she avoiding me now?

satoru finds himself very seriously posting in a subreddit he frequents, r/mensupportmen, full of men ꒰ supposedly ꒱ trying to help other men, and now crawling through the forum results of his own post.

sunboytoru: sooo, tldr. my girlfriend and i have been together for five years and i think she’s getting bored with me because i’m not good with dates or smth. i’m actually getting kind of nervous she might break up with me. pls help?

he hopes to find something that you might enjoy doing with him. no, he isn’t usually the type to plan impromptu trips or take you out for a spontaneous day like this, but he feels he might need to quickly become that type or he’ll lose you and all five of the years you’ve been building this love in devoted hands. being without you is nowhere near the realm of things he wants.

rysukun replies: getting nervous n posting here that she’s gonna leave instead of leaving first? ngl this is why she’s probably cheating bro lol you’re clearly a fucking loser.

— sunboytoru replies: why are you here? don’t you have someone’s day to ruin or something?

— rusukun replies: yeah yours.

getostraphe replies: a lot of times, girls have their own things going on. it probably has nothing to do with you tbh. maybe she’s just stressed. try asking her how she’s feeling.

— rysukun replies: nah it’s definitely bc he’s a fucking loser. he should cheat.

— getostraphe replies: you’re in every subreddit known to man being a bully.

— rysukun replies: better that i tell em than the bitches they don’t get.

— getostraphe replies: this is incel behavior.

yutangclan: i agree with getostraphe. it’s probably nothing. you know most girls get periods, right? she’s probably pmsing. or has a stomachace? girls have a lot on their plate.

— sunboytoru replies: i know you think you’re standing with women by saying this, but sit down.

megumind replies: idk rysukun sucks but he’s got a point. you’re a loser. /:

— sunboytoru replies: big ass head filled with everything but a clue. down vote.

— megumind replies: not saying i hope she leaves you, but i am saying i can’t imagine she’d stay.

lips pursed and tongue poking out slightly through the part of his mouth, narrowed eyes staring at the screen intently, satoru has to sift through strings of insulting and misogynistic comments to find one, singular helpful one.

yuujiatsix replies: try a strawberry farm. i took my love to pick strawberries. she wore the cutest sun dress and i spent the day taking pictures of her. she said she had a lot of fun when we left and smiled the whole way home. would recommend it for guys like me who aren’t that great at putting together spectacular dates but have a spectacular girl who deserves it. it was simple and she was so damn happy, it would have been worth it even if it wasn’t simple. some guys might think that following your pretty girlfriend around and taking her picture sounds like an awful time, but i’ve got roughly 50 candid photos of her now and she’s smiling in every single one. i feel like a semi-decent boyfriend lol.

— rysukun replies: damn you’re a loser too. god it’s an epidemic. megumind is the only one here with potential.

— yuujiatsix replies: cannot wait for the day you get your ass beat.

— rysukun replies: shit, you n i both. 💀

satoru deeply considers the idea of taking you to a strawberry farm to pick fruit. you’re certainly no nature girl, but he thinks you might be a meadow girl, sun-kissed and glittering skin, bathing in a pool of light while you lay on a bed of chrysanthemums. yes, you’re much more like that, and this seems right up that very pleasant alley. he thinks you would enjoy something like this, looking adorable while holding his hand and picking berries, letting him kiss your temple while you wander and help you out if you can’t reach. and he says he’s no romantic, but he’ll do anything for even a spark of your smile directed at him. and he says he doesn’t normally do this, but just the gentle thought of it makes him question if he should. neither of you ever do things like hiking or going for long walks through the woods. you both would likely scrunch your nose in disgust at the idea of going camping for fun, but this looks like it could be cute, and this one comment from yuujiatsix solidifies the idea. you in a sun dress? yes, please. he knows exactly which one he’ll ask you to wear. it’s white, cotton fabric, sleeveless, and clings to your waist but flows around your thighs. it’s his favorite thing for you to wear in the spring. and the thought of spending the entire day filling up his camera roll with photos of you and your gorgeous smile? yes, please. knowing it’s of his orchestration that which the smile in question exists? yes, please. he grins happily to himself as he adds a few items to his amazon cart to deliver by the end of the day. he wants this to be as enjoyable for you as possible.

when you come home, satoru’s terribly excited to see you, terribly excited to discuss his plans with you for tomorrow, and terribly excited to watch your lips quirk up with a smile before he captures them with a kiss ꒰ a needy one that will likely become a silent plea to stay. don’t grow distant. don’t let it get cold. keep him as close as you always have and stay warm; stay with him where you belong ꒱. “toru?” you call absently, kicking your shoes off at the door. he approaches you with the warmest smile, arms immediately wrapping you into a cacoon of amber and spice. “ah, welcome home, baby. i missed you so much today.” “hi,” you murmur against his chest. he can hear the smile in your mumble. an exhale of relief follows the observation.  he holds on to you for much longer than usual and you don’t budge. maybe you feel it, too, the distance that’s slowly building between you. he hopes to pulverize it with his newfound romantic intention.

꒰ while you were gone, he went out and picked up a bouquet of your favorite flowers, placed them in a crystal vase his mother got for you both as a housewarming gift, and placed it on your desk in your office. you won’t notice it right away, perhaps not for days, but he’ll care for them until you do. the moment you notice, he hopes your heart swells. if at that time, your day feels unbearably long, let his little lingers of affection give you comfort. if at that time, you’re full of joy, as he always strives for you to be, he hopes when you notice, it’s the cherry on top. ꒱

gojo satoru will never willingly lose you. he knows he’ll fight for you until the bitter end if he has to, but the best part about loving you is knowing he’ll never have to. there might be little humps to toddle over together, but he’ll never let anything get so big and foundationally fracturing. you’ll never let resentment take the place of your love, but maybe that doesn’t mean it isn’t still hard to say when you want something more. it’s okay. he doesn’t want you to have to say this one. he wants to show you that he sees it anyway and he’s trying. 

i’ll give you anything you need as long as you’ll let me.

he decides he’s simply going to hold you until you tell him he can’t anymore, but that’s an unlikely outcome seeing as to how you get comfortable in his arms rather quickly, enjoying his soft rocking and tender embrace, pleased hums and content sighs lingering around your heads. “and just where did you scurry off to this morning without even so much as an ‘i love you so much, my favorite handsome good boy’, huh?” he presses playfully. a snort and a giggle. “i’m oh so sorry, my favorite handsome good boy.” “my forgiveness is entirely reliant on what you abandoned me for. go on, sweetheart. explain yourself. why don’t you love me anymore?” it’s playful but it still pangs in his chest. “so dramatic,” you grumble quietly. “first of all, i had an early meeting i forgot about until i was already twenty minutes late to it — looked great on me as an employee, in case you’re wondering — and it went on all day because a group of old, traditional men are way too resistant to change for the day and age we currently exist in, but we’ve finally come to an understanding, and i can stop living in my emails about this project.” you say it all, releasing an exhausted sigh. he can somehow feel every one of the days that built up to this in your words and he aches for you, pressing soft kisses to your temple. he hates that you work. you don’t need to, per se. he’s literally a multi-millionaire and he’s 99.9% sure he’s going to be your husband sometime soon, but you say you enjoy your career. you studied hard for your degrees and worked even harder for your position. “baby,” he whines and pouts even though you don’t see it. “i don’t like how you let this job stress you out…and take you from me. you know you don’t need the money, right? we’re fine where we are right now. i got us.” sometimes he worries you’ll feel like you failed if you just slow down a little bit. in the same breath, he learned a long time ago that you’re momentum in the flesh. you have a relentless kind of spirit that he so deeply admires. he doesn’t even know if you work for the money, just for the hell of it, just as a ‘fuck you’ to all the people who routinely attempt to belittle you but still have to answer to you, or if you have additional motives.  you have your little ways of playing games and building outcomes sometimes. “i know, toru. it has all of nothing to do with the money, though.” your arms slide around his waist, squeezing him, voice sympathetic but resolute. “it’s just…i have a personal responsibility. i represent an entire demographic in that office: women and people who come from the working class. i’m the only woman in a room full of disgustingly rich men who have no idea what it’s like to be in the working class and because of that, it’s too easy for our employees to be faced with unrealistic and borderline inhumane working circumstances. i only have this job because my competence is undeniable. i take pride in that. i stay on their necks about their policies and what the result looks like for our employees, and i make them care. if i leave, no one else is going to be willing to do the work i do to protect the people who work under us.” there he goes forgetting you’re a warrior of a woman again. and this is why he so freely falls into you, why he’s so ready to offer his heart to you with no strings attached. he’s decidedly going to love you regardless. he can only love someone like you, someone who treats softness and strength like metonyms. everyone who brings up marriage with him always asks if he’ll have you to sign a prenup and he laughs at even the thought.

“what do you mean? she’ll burn my money out of spite if i cross her and the prenup along with it at even the suggestion that she wants to take off with any of it. she doesn’t care about that. she would love me even if all i could afford was ramen from the convenience store for the two of us. she would still hold on to the tips of my fingers, smile, and tell me she ate well. when she met me, she told me even if i could get by for being handsome and coming from a well-off family, i should still work hard to show that i’m also great in my own merit. and greatness is earned. as a woman and a person, she is great. i’ve worked hard to earn her. i would never insult her that way.”

“and here i was getting worried you were getting bored of me.” he admits sheepishly and chuckles. “i feel silly now.” you scoff and pull back to look at him. your gaze is somewhat akin to being aghast. “gojo satoru, are you kidding? me? get bored of you? my favorite, most handsome good boy in the flesh? my sun boy? who do you think i am?” heat crawls across his cheeks. “ah, i’m sorry, baby. i was just feeling this distance between us and it felt…personal.” “no, baby, not at all.” you promise, a pout claiming your lips. “i felt distance, too, but i knew it was because of my work. i know i haven’t been all the way there. i’m sorry to make you worry about how i feel about you or us. i love you and i love us.” nervously chewing at his lower lip, he asks. “even though we don’t go out all the time?” “baby, i especially love that we don’t go out all the time. i thought we agreed on me being introverted and lazy, somewhat reminiscent of the pokemon slowpoke?” he laughs then, shaking his head. “how could i forget? well, i hope you don’t hate me for the impromptu date i planned for tomorrow out of my fear of losing you.” “what?” a gentle question followed by a lengthy whine. “god, toto, i leave you alone for a bit and that’s the conclusion you come to? i must be the worst girlfriend ever.” “no!” he protests. “no, not at all. you’re incredible. my favorite part of all my days. but i did already plan for this extravaganza and i have the mental image of you in that white sun dress i love burned into my brain lobes, so…can we still go?” smiling, you give him an approving nod. “i’d love to. what’s our extravaganza?” “right now, ‘the honored one and baby take the great outdoors’ is the working title to the adventure, but i’ll give you an official one tomorrow.” you hum thoughtfully. “the title should work much harder on itself and get back to me.”

when tomorrow comes, satoru is absolutely giddy. when you come out wearing the dress he spent the entire day prior fantasizing about, he almost melts on sight. you always look so lovely and you remind him so much of spring, all newness and blossoms and blooms. when he hands you an oversized floppy hat with a grin, you laugh so hard and abruptly, you snort. simpering, you ask, “what exactly is this place you’re taking me to? and what are we doing that requires your ridiculous gardener’s getup, these outlandishly large floppy hats, and a basket?” you hold up the woven basket he places in your grip. he looks down at his outfit. it’s nothing unusual: khaki cargos, a white polo, his floppy hat, and a handkerchief tied around his neck to complete the look. he even sprayed some of your fruity, floral perfume so he can smell the part. “first off, it’s an ensemble, not a getup. secondly, i look great. i look like i’m ready to take the great outdoors with baby. finally, my love, we’re going to a farm to pick strawberries together.” the pride he clutches when a smile spreads across your face in response is instant. “wait, that sounds really fucking cute actually. really?” satoru nods triumphantly. “yes, really. i miss you and i want to take candid pictures of you in your dress. so make sure you pose extra pretty for me today, okay, peach?” “toto…i don’t know if you’re aware, but…you’re not supposed to pose for candid shots.” “oh…sounds blurry, but okay.” his brows furrow for a moment before he shakes the concern for the matter away entirely. “well, still…be extra pretty for me. shouldn’t be too hard for you, yeah? now, come. join me for the season special episode of the honored one and baby take the great outdoors!” “so the title did absolutely zero work on itself whatsoever, i see.” you chuckle but he catches your mumble. “taking the great outdoors when you should just take it down a notch.” “i heard that.” “and i said it.” you smirk. “look at us both verbing.”

when you get to the strawberry farm, you’re overwhelmed by how much more ridiculous satoru looks than everyone else in the nearby vicinity, especially after he puts on these giant sunglasses. still, in one hand, you hold his confidently, and in the other, you clutch the handle of a woven basket that the two of you enjoy filling up with your findings. satoru, being ever adventurous, decides the strawberries in the tent and the strawberries grown on low bushels that are right there and very readily available to pick through, simply aren’t good enough for the date and the experience he’s trying to curate. he keeps saying the tent is destroying the ambience. he complains that he has some good photos of you but the lighting inside the tent isn’t doing you justice and is starting to upset him a bit. he wants the fresh air experience of this and thus, he proceeds to wander outside, much deeper into the large field. he goes where the more seasoned pickers go, a seemingly endless field with row after row of berries, and finds a small section where the plants are staked and climbing. satoru decides then that the two of you are suddenly good enough at this on your first attempt that it’s fine for him to up the ante and get some ‘honor-worthy’ strawberries.  but, as is the case in many other situations, satoru is not fully paying attention when he gets aggressively excited about the sheer size of strawberries he finds, repeatedly stating he can’t believe no one has taken them yet. and you believe you’re staring at the exact reason why. your eyes remain fixated on the clustered hive directly adjacent to where he was reaching, worry beginning to take over the display of your features.

“baby…i don’t know if we should bother with those. look,” you gesture toward the hive where an alarming number of bees are just buzzing, humming, fluttering, and working. satoru waves a flippant hand, uncaring and unfazed.

“but these look the juiciest and the ripest. we’re going to have the best strawberries here!” he proclaims. “and they’re just bees. besides, it’s spring and they’re very busy. too busy to worry about me.” you’re the epitome of frightened and unsure, but you know how he is about things. he’s more of a ‘fuck around and find out’ kind of man. “ah…okay, toru, but please be careful. you’re really close to their hive.” he stands on his toes reaching for the strawberry he’s been eyeing that’s making him risk it all just to possess it. “god, these are huge! and so tall!” and then every single fear you have about this particular situation is confirmed as you watch several bees start to hover closer and closer to satoru’s completely oblivious frame. a squeak leaves you as your heart rate picks up and you slowly begin backing away. “uh…baby?” your voice is quivering with fear as you watch one small bee land on the back of his neck. then another. and another. “satoru…don’t freak out…but…” the distance you’re placing is gradually increasing. satoru turns to see you, face contorting with perplexity as he takes in your fearful stance and receding steps. his voice is panicky when he speaks. “but what? is everything okay?” “don’t move, okay? there’s…about four bees on your neck.” your voice is quiet because you’re desperately trying not to frighten him so much he makes an incorrect move. “do you not feel them?” you don’t believe there’s any approach that would have made him react without screaming at the top of his lungs. “they’re on me?! oh my fucking god, help! help!”

he’s screaming, body unmoved with his eyes shut tight and his face completely scrunched up in fear. he doesn’t want to see but if he doesn’t see then he feels more, feels them crawling on his neck, and hears their little bumbled hums. finally catching wind of his terrified cries, one of the farmers comes jogging towards you. you haven’t moved anymore since he started screaming. your eyes are locked on his neck. you drop your strawberries on the ground to cover your mouth and avoid screaming, making matters much worse as another now lands on his shoulders. the farmer looks between the two of you, in complete distress thinking someone’s managed to wound themselves out here. “what’s going on? is everything okay?” satoru screams, his body still stiff as a board. “no! not at all! please save me from them! don’t you dare let them kill me!” all of his anger must be vibrating in his body because one of the bees flies up and lands back down on a different spot. “be still, baby! don’t freak out or they might think you’re a threat and seriously kill you.” “what?!” the farmer laughs at both of your outbursts. “those bees won’t hurt you, but they’re mighty attracted to you. are you wearing any cologne or perfume?” satoru nods very slightly. “yes…uh, my girlfriend’s perfume? i like…the way it smells. i thought it would fit with the general aesthetic of the day.” “what’s the smell got in it?” he seems fretfully contemplative, hum sounding closer to a groan. “ah, it’s a very fresh, floral scent…jasmine, lavender, and lychee.” the farmer nods then, knowing. he proceeds to explain their conundrum. “well, right there’s your problem. has no one ever told you not to wear floral scents near bees? they love it. you smell like a hard day’s work to them. bees take pride in their work.” “no!” satoru squeaks. “no one has ever thought to mention that to me!” the farmer sighs, growing frustrated with his whininess. he can definitely tell satoru is a city boy even without the unnecessary reaction to god’s greatest helpers.

“well, you’ll be fine. just be still. i’ll help you out.” he helps carefully guide the bees away from his neck and shoulders. “there you go. they’re all gone. might wanna make your way back to the tented area before they come back.” satoru freaks out then and swats away at his body, squirming while squeaking as he makes his way next to you, dropping his entire basket of strawberries on the ground in the process. he looks back angrily at the hive, pointing towards them and going on a heated rant. “how dare you disrupt my date with baby! all my life i’ve been told you won’t hurt me and you don’t care about me, but that’s not true, is it?! you’re lucky i’m done taking the great outdoors or that’d be the end of you and all your little friends’ lives. come on. we’re done here.” the farmer looks stunned and you look embarrassed by the entire event but especially by the ending fairy of his hysterics. you trail along to join him, rubbing his back comfortingly. although he did overreact a bit, you understand he’s just frightened. “are you okay?” a curt nod and a sardonic yelp. “fantastic!” “i know that was scary, toto. i’m sorry.” you link your fingers together and he lets you with a sigh. “let’s go home, yeah?”

you decide it’s best if you don’t press about this at the moment. when you get in the car, he sounds exasperated. “at least we got fresh strawberries.” “ah…about that, baby. you and i both…kind of frightfully threw our strawberries? neither of us has a basket anymore…” “what?!” he laments. “that’s great. just great. my one attempt at having a date and i failed. i’m sorry, baby. i know lately i’ve been boring. i was…trying something new but none of the guys on reddit said anything about bees at a strawberry farm!” for some reason, the string of words that construct his declaration causes you to giggle and that giggle ascends into full-blown laughter at the absurdity of it all, in the end. he’s always doing something so outlandish. his failed attempt to be less boring turned out to be much more fun than one would think. despite the fear as it occurred, today would be a day you both look back on in a year and smile so fully at the remembrance of.

“toto, you’re not boring and you didn’t fail. we had a good time. the bees…they just…” he nods, seeming to know what you’re trying to convey. “it’s okay to say the truth. they’re jealous. i’m so handsome, they mistook me for a flower and when they realized that i’m no flower, i’m just that striking, they tried to gang up on me. what is it that the temptations said?” he starts to sing, his lovely tenor filling up the small space and dragging a loving smile out of you. “i’ve got sooo much honey, the bees envy me.” rolling your eyes, you giggle and tug on his shirt. “give me a kiss, big goofball.” but of course, he does, and although you never ask and he never freely tells, the user yuujiatsix on reddit is spot-on. you smile the entire way home.

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