#DO NOT COMPETE WITH LUIGI IN MARIO KART

[loserstone220]

sibling rivalry

man the kart is really hard to draw...but their new outfits tho...

real fancy (chef kiss)

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

My Unofficial Mario Character Bio

This is a going to be the first in a series of posts I will be making for unofficial character bios I made for the Mario cast, using official information to craft them. These are intended to help people better grasp these characters and I hope y'all like them.

Mario the is the iconic hero of the Mushroom Kingdom who is always willing to stand up to the Turtle Tribe when they step out of line. Brought to his parents in the Mushroom Kingdom he would grow up with his younger twin brother Luigi, and even attended kindergarten with a Baby Peach. Eventually the Bros. moved to Big City now New Donk City where they could go through many jobs until they eventually became construction plumbers, which has been Mario’s profession ever since. Mario is also a jack-of-all-trades, having even become a doctor researching viruses at the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital's virus research lab. He is a trusted friend of Princess Peach and heavily implied to be dating her. His masterful jumping abilities which he uses in all his adventures have made him very athletic, and have allowed him to excel in all types of sports, and have even helped him out in the Olympics. His jumping skills are what make him popular, and in New Donk City he was given the title Jumpman. He is also famous for his moustache. He has many rivals from the Donkey Kongs to Wario, but neither hold a candle to his arch-rival King Bowser Koopa. Between the Bros. Mario is regarded as the one with the brawn between the two, and while he is strong he is not as strong as his rivals Wario and Donkey Kong. Speaking of rivalry Mario and Luigi have had a friendly rivalry since they were little, when they play sports, race karts, and even in the Olympics which they partake in. They can get into heated contests to the point they will even compete to see who gets the most medals. That being said both of the brothers do care about each other very much where they will defend each other, and in Mario’s case has even hallucinated seeing Luigi when they were apart. They also seem to have a twin sense. Both him and Luigi are famous around the world, though characters can be surprised to see this is the Mushroom Kingdom’s hero, and Mario is more likely to be recognized more for his heroics than Luigi is. Mario is bright, merry, and very cheerful with an indomitable spirit and is an all-around guy who is always ready to help out a friend.. He is meant to represent the perpetual underdog. Mario doesn’t aim to kill his opponents though that doesn’t mean he won’t if he needs to in some cases. In addition, due to adventures like the one he took with Bowser, Geno, Peach, and Mallow he knows there is more to Bowser. This is why he has helped Bowser Junior return Bowser back to normal in one game, and comforted Bowser in another. But he also isn’t going to let Bowser kidnap Peach and force her to marry him, let alone conquer other lands. Mario, also has experienced several opponents who have turned over a new leaf and villains who have been reformed which may also influence how he treats Bowser. He also doesn't punch Yoshies or drop Yoshies into pits, and the same goes for the rest of his friends who ride Yoshies. Let alone his loyal adventuring buddy Yoshi who is a good friend of his. Toad is also one of Mario’s loyal friends. Mario has provided a lot for the Mario Kart Grand Prixs through Mario Motors , Mario Work Gear, and Mario Electrical Support.

[seandwalsh]

Where do the characters get the stuff they use In the Mario Kart Games from? And did the characters design the tracks that have their names?

I’m not quite sure what stuff you’re specifically referring to, but regardless, the answer is quite complicated. Assuming you’re talking about Karts and Items, the answer is “various places”.

Back in Super Mario Kart, while Mario was likely the one who organised, funded or at least initially proposed the event, Lakitu was the coordinator of the event, and ran the tracks. In the beginning they had more conservative rules surrounding the vehicles in use on the courses:

Hi everybody! Thanks for dropping by the Super Mario Kart race track. My name is Lakitu, I run this track. If you need my help, I'll be around. We race one seater, metal pipe frame go carts here. There are two engine sizes to choose from: 50cc or 100cc.

[Source: INTRODUCTION, Page 2, Instruction Booklet of Super Mario Kart, September 1992]

Mario Kart stated out a a fun recreational event with a handful of trophies. That’s the main reason the characters take part, and it has been the reason since the very beginning, in Super Mario Kart. Each one of the characters is competing due to their connection to Mario.

An adorable little kart racetrack has been built in the Mario world! Mario and his happy-go-lucky friends have gotten so enthusiastic about kart racing that they're already causing a ruckus! Even now, they're smack in the middle of a race! Let's take a quick peek at how it's going, shall we? Oh, it's just about to start! Even the usually cute characters look a little tense. Let's watch Mario and friends fight hard!

[Source: Intro, Japanese Store Promo for Super Mario Kart, August 1992]

However, in the years since it has become the Mushroom Kingdom’s premiere racing event and grown significantly. Racers from various Kingdoms take part resulting in an incredibly diverse audience. Mario Kart now has dozens of sponsors for each Grand Prix, extended tournaments, its own television network, branded tracks and inter-dimensional courses and guest racers.

Mario Kart 64 was the first major step in this direction, but Mario Kart: Double Dash!! brought things even further. From its manual:

THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM’S PREMIER RACING EVENT IS BACK! HOWEVER, THERE’S BEEN ONE MAJOR CHANGE TO THE RULES OF THE ROAD… THERE ARE NOW TWO RIDERS PER KART! NOW, RIDERS FROM THROUGHOUT THE LAND HAVE COME TOGETHER NO TEST THEIR DRIVING SKILLS. WHICH PAIR WILL PROVE THE FASTEST?

[Source: The Double Dash Grand Prix!, Page 6, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, November 2003]

When Mario Kart started out, standard Pipe Frames were the only legal builds for the Mario GP. These models were likely built by Mario and his friends themselves.

However, with Mario Kart: Double Dash!! the Pipe Frames were retired in favour of a variety of Karts. Many of these karts were custom-made or modified pre-existing cars. Take Luigi's kart of choice in Mario Kart DS, for example: the Poltergust 4000. This Kart is part of the Poltergust series, a line of inventions created by Professor E. Gadd.

Another pair of examples are the Wario Car, which Wario makes use of in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and Mario Kart Arcade GP 2, and the Wario Bike, which Wario makes use of in Mario Kart Wii. These are Wario's personal car and bike, which he uses in the Wario Land and WarioWare titles, and both were built by Wario's friend Dr. Crygor:

I AM DR. CRYGOR, THE GENIUS SCHOLAR. OTHERS HAVE SAID A "DANGEROUS" SCHOLAR, BUT I PAY NO MIND TO THEIR OPINIONS. MY LABORATORY IS SET UP TO FURTHER MY EXPERIMENTS IN REALITY GAMES. FEEL FREE TO STOP BY AND CONTRIBUTE TO MY RESEARCH. IT IS QUITE FUN. DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED WARIO'S CAR? WHAT? YOU DO NOT KNOW? DO YOUR RESEARCH!

[Source: The Laboratory Authority - Dr. Crygor, Page 21, Instruction Booklet of WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$!, May 2003]

This odd genius lives in seclusion. He built Wario’s bike. Mona’s moped, Kat’s sword, and Jimmy’s cell phone. He wears a cryogenic suit that doesn’t protect his head.

[Source: Dr. Crygor's character profile, WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Party Game$!, April 2004]

The Standard Kart series of builds was then introduced as a replacement for the Pipe Frame in Mario Kart Arcade GP 2 and carried into tournaments from Mario Kart DS onwards. As a result of this, in later tournaments, custom or pre-existing vehicles were allowed to enter the tournament upon being modified to be legal for the Grand Prix. The Pipe Frames did eventually return in tournaments from Mario Kart 7 onwards, which featured more in-depth kart customisation.

Speaking of which, the Mario Kart events are sponsored by other brands Mario owns, such as Mario Motors, Mario Star, etc. These sponsors, as well as the many others not otherwise connected to Mario, likely fund the events and even provide them with parts and supplies.

It stands to reason that Mushroom Piston Engines provides engines, Fuzzy Battery provides batteries, Bob-omb Plugs provides spark plugs, Dream Gliders provides gliders, 1-Up Fuel provides fuel, Bowser Oil provides oil, 100% Organic Antifreeze provides antifreeze, etc.

Mario Kart Arcade GP 2 makes reference to a Grand Prix Committee, which sends letters to Cup winners to invite them to the Cup’s special Challenge stage. Their letters are closed with an “M” stamped seal. This would imply Mario is at least on this committee, if not the head of it. This is presumably the committee that organises the events and decides which participants to invite, what items will be used, etc.

As mentioned previously, all of the participants either know Mario directly or have connections to people who know Mario. The Super Mario Kart manual seems to call attention to how each of the participant racers connect to Mario specifically.

MARIO & LUIGI The Mario Brothers have pretty much the same abilities in cart driving. Mario and Luigi have had a friendly rivalry that goes back to their childhood.

[Source: THE 8 CART DRIVERS, Page 21, Instruction Booklet of Super Mario Kart, September 1992]

PRINCESS & YOSHI At first, you might think that The Princess and Yoshi would have nothing in common (except their fondness for Mario).

[Source: THE 8 CART DRIVERS, Page 22, Instruction Booklet of Super Mario Kart, September 1992]

BOWSER & DONKEY KONG JR. These two drivers have long been Mario's arch enemies.

[Source: THE 8 CART DRIVERS, Page 23, Instruction Booklet of Super Mario Kart, September 1992]

While Toad and Koopa Troopa's descriptions don't specifically connect them to Mario, Toad is of course a long-time friend of Mario and servant to Peach, while Koopa Troopa is a minion of Bowser:

Usually a faithful underling of Bowser, [Koopa Troopa] shows even the big boss no mercy during a race.

[Source: Characters and Special Items, Page 20, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, November 2003]

Koopa Troopa, of the Turtle Tribe. Usually one of Bowser's minions, but as far as races go, it's a different story!?

[Source: Characters, Mario Kart Wii, Nintendo Co., Ltd. website]

In short, Mario is what brings them all together - and in turn they each bring their own special items. The iconic Banana Peels thrown by racers in the Mario Kart series are actually from the Kong's Banana Hoard on Donkey Kong Island, having originally been brought to the races by Donkey Kong Jr. back in Super Mario Kart:

Because of Donkey Kong Jr.! He likes bananas, and the peels are slippery, so they got the okay.

[Source: Tadashi Sugiyama, Director and C.G. Designer of Super Mario Kart, Nintendo Classic Mini: SNES developer interview – Volume 4: Super Mario Kart, September 2017]

In the original game, the only CPU-controlled character who throws banana peels is Donkey Kong Jr., which was a way to characterise the characters.

[Source: Hideki Konno, Director of Super Mario Kart, Nintendo Classic Mini: SNES developer interview – Volume 4: Super Mario Kart, September 2017]

Despite Donkey Kong Jr. not appearing in tournaments after Super Mario Kart, it seems his son, the current Donkey Kong, continued to supply Bananas from Mario Kart 64 onwards. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong even brought along some Giant Bananas in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Mario Kart: Arcade GP 2 and Mario Kart Tour:

Special Item GIANT BANANA Only DK and Diddy know where these monstrous fruit can be found.

[Source: Characters and Special Items, Page 19, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, November 2003] From this we can speculate about the origins of other items. Shells are common clothing/armour worn by Koopas, but seeing as the shells in Mario Kart are standard Koopa Troopa Shells, it stands to reason that the Koopa Troopa racer or perhaps Bowser brought the Red Shells and Green Shells originally used in Super Mario Kart.

These shells are worn by Koopa Troopas, both within and outside of Bowser's Army. We can even see one of Bowser's Airships in Super Mario Galaxy equipped with a shell dispenser:

The Green Shells and Red Shells even function how you'd expect - with Green Shells flying straight forward and Red Shells heading towards the nearest target!

However, with the expansion of Mario Kart in later titles the shells, which are mass-produced, appear to be provided by a company, with sponsors for "Green Shell Strike Equipment" and "Red Shell Strike Equipment" making appearances:

Koopa Troopa and Koopa Paratroopa seem to have their own supply in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!:

Special Items TRIPLE SHELLS (GREEN / RED) Don't let Koopa and Paratroopa worry about not having enough shells.

[Source: Characters and Special Items, Page 20, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, November 2003]

Bowser also provides his own shells for the tournaments in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Mario Kart: Arcade GP 2 and Mario Kart Tour:

Bowser's Shell This big ol' shell on loan from Bowser will crash any karts it hits and keep on going. It can only be thrown forward.

[Source: Items, Tips and Tricks, Mario Kart Tour, September 2019]

On the topic of items, Super Mario Kart used ? Panels to dispense its items. These panels are likely made by the same people in the Mushroom Kingdom who make ? Blocks. While they weren't used in later Mario Kart tournaments, they have still made a few other appearances since, such as in Mario Party 9.

From the Mario Kart 64 Mario GP onwards the ? Panels were replaced with the iconic Item Boxes, which were likely much more convenient for transportation and addition to the racetracks. But it wasn't until Mario Kart Wii where we actually learned where these come from, through the course Toad's Factory.

This is actually the Item Box Factory, as we can see not only from the trackside banners with the Item Box logo and giant sign of Toad with an Item Box, but from the shipping containers with items ready to go into the Item Boxes:

Inside the factory, we can even see the process of how Item Boxes are made. The Items are put inside standard Brick Blocks, before the Brick Blocks are placed on a conveyor belt with stamps of some sort. These stamps appear to be filled with some sort of magical rainbow liquid, likely sourced from Power Stars, which transforms the Brick Blocks into the Item Boxes, giving them their translucent rainbow appearance and their ability to float:

Circling back to the Kongs for a moment, Funky Kong is actually the one responsible for the construction of the DK Barrel Cannons featured prominently throughout Mario Kart courses.

We learn this when Donkey Kong mentions Funky in the context of their creation in Mario Super Sluggers:

Oooook! (Looks like Funky Kong has been busy.)

[Source: Donkey Kong, Best Friend of Funky Kong, Playable Character in Mario Super Sluggers, August 2008]

This isn't all too surprising though, given Funky Kong's previous barrel-based mechanic work and his appearances in Mario Kart Wii and Mario Kart Tour, as well as the barrel-inspired Funky Stadium which he presumably also built:

Speaking of which, it's about time I discuss the stadiums, circuits and other courses and where they came from!

Mario is world-famous and incredibly wealthy from his adventures, businesses and sports stardom. Multiple of the circuits in the games are also clearly built by him or at least in honour of him. He‘s the only character with actual circuits named after him in Super Mario Kart:

State-of-the-art racetracks in the Mario world that are rich in variety. The effectiveness of the pipe obstacles is the key.

[Source: Mario Circuit's description, Japanese Store Promo for Super Mario Kart, August 1992]

Mario Circuits have also been described as the primary circuits of their respective Grand Prix:

Mario Circuit This is the main circuit in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Familiar denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom can be spotted here and there. The road's filled with curves, so this is a good place to practice drifting.

[Source: Courses, Page 31, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, November 2003]

It stands to reason that most characters had a hand in designing the tracks that bear their names. In fact we know that's the case for several courses, such as N64 Wario Stadium:

That rascal Wario was in charge of the design and construction of this course. A fan of motocross races, he brought in major amounts of sand to fill this huge stadium in an attempt to build a course more suitable to bikes than Karts. Each lap's distance is extremely long, making it difficult to stay concentrated on the race.

[Source: MARIO KART 64 COURSE MAPS, Page 30, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart 64, February 1997]

Meanwhile the Bowser's Castle courses are modified from or otherwise based on the real Bowser's Castle:

Surprisingly, the Bowser's Castle has been transformed into a race ground! Because it's inside the building, most of the corners are tricky right angles. However, the most difficult part of the course is where the Thwomps are. They will block your path, and if you run into one, you will spin out. Should you be stepped by one, you'll find yourself squished flat as a pancake.

[Source: MARIO KART 64 COURSE MAPS, Page 31, Instruction Booklet of Mario Kart 64, February 1997]

Bowser typically designs his courses with the help of his minions to be filled with traps in the hopes of beating Mario. This goes beyond the Mario Kart tracks and also applies to his Tennis Courts, Golf Courses, etc.:

Lord Bowser designed his course to defeat Mario, so it’s kinda full of lava and bombs and stuff like that.

[Source: Spiny, Minion of Bowser, Non-player Character in Mario Golf: Super Rush, June 2021]

Bowser enlisted his minions to create this course in hopes of defeating Mario with all the traps and hazards.

[Source: Koopa Troopa, Minion of Bowser, Non-player Character in Mario Golf: Super Rush, June 2021]

However, this isn't universally the case. For example, Peach Beach is merely Princess Peach's favourite beach resort in the Southern Isles, while Toad's Turnpike is on a public road in Toad City!

I could go on and on about the Mario Kart series and the depth to its worldbuilding, but I think that's quite enough for today. Thank you for reading!

[enteringdullsville]

Underrated Real Time Fandub Lines 2: Subspace Dubbed Over

“That’s one Reddit upvote right there!”

I had to read the transcript for this humdinger, said as Wario turns Zelda into a trophy.

“Woah! That was Wario and he won…”

That’s probably the best way to cap off Wario’s first appearance.

“My name’s ‘Pit’, like under the arm?”

“Exactly like that.”

There’s a lot of times where someone says something and somebody else’s response is drowned out, such as Palutena’s incredibly blunt response to Pit’s question.

“That’s the weirdest airplane.”

It deserves a prize.

“AAAAUUGHH! I remember when that happened!”

Wasted opportunity not to say “Looks like Team Rocket’s jacking off again”.

“ARM!”

“…Ow.”

The Halberd’s sole line of dialogue, coupled with Fox’s hilarious nonplussed reaction.

“What are we, some kind of Subspace Emissary?”

Because we’re…Super Smash Bros!

“Take that, TUUURTLEEE!”

It’s the weird added emphasis that seals the deal.

“You can’t shoot Donkey Kong!”

DK, as he’s actively being shot at.

“I don’t like the cut of your jib!”

DK, you’ve known Bowser for how long now?

“I did that on purpose!”

As the dub goes on, it becomes obvious that Wario’s the army’s most competent general.

“Am I a f***ing draaagon?”

I like to think the only reason Ray talks like that is because Holly’s voice is shot from Wario’s last scene.

“Tha…at’s right.”

“Pokémon Tower! Not Trainer, Tower!”

“Now I have it-ZELDA.”

Any time the characters acknowledge the character screens.

“I’m back with my GUN THAT KILLS PEOPLE!”

…As opposed to…

“I DO MAGIC, KILL JACKED UP KIDS, I’LL PROBABLY FLY NEXT!”

Porky, seconds before Ness sends him flying.

“I thought that guy was supposed to be Mario, bye!”

This wouldn’t be nearly as funny if Wario wasn’t screaming his name nonstop.

“Did you have lunch today, R.O.B.?”

“No, R.O.B., I didn’t have lunch today!”

The delivery on R.O.B. 2 is what kills me.

“It’s like-a the better pizzuh.”

R.O.B. lets his one guest appearance in Mario Kart go to his head.

“Why is it purple?”

“Because purple’s my favorite color, dumbass.”

“It’s a baaad color!”

“Stupid idiot.”

“Red’s better!”

This’ll be important later on...

“Dude, cookoldry-never mind.”

Hey, reference!

“Nyehh, oh, I’m not even supposed to be here!”

Another gem from “Bozo Dubbed Over” that doesn’t get enough appreciation.

“AH HOPE HE’S DEAD FOREVER!”

I quote this constantly.

“We’re Kirby.”

That’s oddly daunting coming from a bunch of Waddle Dees.

“Whoa, deja vu!”

“It’s happening again!”

Again, I quote Dedede constantly, intonation and all.

“It’s because I’m so scared that I did it!”

Luigi’s voice is just the best thing.

“F***ing, f***ing, f***ing, f***…I GOTTA WIN!”

Wario gets beat up so hard it causes him to talk normally.

“I HOPE THAT GUY’S NOT GETTING JACKED OFF.”

My favorite version of the episode’s running gag.

“HEY, LISTEN!”

Navi’s sole line of dialogue, and she’s inebriated.

“OHHH, that smells so bad! Did you do that?”

“…Yes.”

I adore the quick, off handed way Link says it.

“Who goes there? It’s me!”

Out of context, that’s an incredibly cool one liner.

“He speaks!”

Somebody in the background, talking about Pikachu.

“I think I found the computer room.”

IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN!

“That looks like OH, IT’S ME! KIRBY!”

Mar switching characters mid sentence.

“I think this guy’s about to kill you.”

This line plagues my mind and I love it.

“I killed you.”

“I ALSO KILLED YOU.”

Bowser and Bowser, Bowser’s Inside Bowser.

“I’m here again! BOWSER! I GOTTA WIN!”

Must be a Subspace Army thing.

“Ahh, it’s me! Zelda!”

“Oh no! It’s him! Zelda!”

Bonus points for being the second or third intelligible things Peach says.

“They killed Link! It’s so funny she died!”

‘Zelda’ kind of sucks at his job.

“Oh, I know this guy. He jump on me.”

“Dude, you ever noticed I’m f***ing green?”

“I’m here too; f***!”

“I’m a f***ing animal!”

Yoshi in general is gold.

“EEEYYYYYYYY-”

“WHO THE F*** IS THIS GUY?!”

Kirby’s very abrupt and dynamic entrance on the Wariomobile.

“Well! It’s a good thing I fixed my roof and got Bowser outta here!”

I love the implication that all the branching timelines are literally occurring back to back.

“WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN! WE HATE YOU!”

Bowser takes a page out of Dedede’s book.

“That’s my girlfriend!”

“Don’t kill your girlfriend! That’s my job!”

“I DON’T KNOW HER! KILL HER!”

“That’s my job!”

Same two characters, different princesses.

“Tuck my hand on my head! Hope my hair isn’t gay…”

“His hair is so stupid.”

The first line is funny enough coming from this version of Marth. Ike, however, I’m only just hearing his aside for the first time.

“YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE. YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE. I CAN’T. I’M GONNA BLOW UP, DUDE. YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE. I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE.”

“My main goal is to blow up!”

Tower, you’re pure evil.

“Beep, boop. We’re opening the doors! Come on in!”

“I don’t know what they were talking about, but that’s okay.”

The Wall-E Squad provides some of the series’ best nonsequiturs.

“Hey, you stop that, dumbass!”

Not so funny now, is it R.O.B.?

“AWW, F***! IT’S JET THE HAWK!”

That would be his cousin.

“UGNHF.”

This guy’s about to…

“Now I’m a robot!”

I’ve got nothing. Sam’s incredibly proud delivery is just great.

“How’s the weather up there?”

Pikachu also gets a good burn in.

“I BET MY PENIS IS REAL SMALL!”

Hello to you too, Falcon.

“WAAGH! WAAGH! WAAGH! WAAGH!”

“Get the F*** OUT!”

Falco cares not for Diddy’s eccentricities.

“Okay, I’m-I’m sick of this.”

MK serves as a great voice of reason to the crew.

“I’M A VERY SPECIAL BOY.”

“That is un dog!”

“Iiii’m a furry.”

Because dogs aren’t furries!

“Whoo!”

“What the heck’s going on down there?”

“Me!”

“I’m also here!”

“I’m not supposed to be here!”

Our heroes.

“It’s okay, we’re almost done.”

“…Really?”

“Kept ya waiting, huh?”

A golden bit of timing right there.

“I’m in disguise now!”

Sheik, making no attempt to hide their distinctive voice.

“I’m in love with Samus, actually now!”

“I’M NOT!”

“No, not as much as I am, look-”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“No.”

You’d think being his species’ only dude would teach the Gan-Man some respect.

“This guy’s so horny, let’s kill him!”

R.O.B.’s immediate response to the above.

“That’s your f***ing name? That’s stupid!”

Falcon to R.O.B.. Three guesses as to who voices Falcon.

“THAT BETTER NOT BE THE RIDDLE GUY BEHIND US!”

It’s totally the riddle guy behind you.

“I’M THE BEST RACE CAR! F*** YOU!”

Kirby’s freaking pissed.

“My Michael was muted.”

That’s the most adorable way to refer to a microphone.

“You can’t kill me I’m so much too powerful f*** you to death.”

The lack of commas both deliberate and optimal.

“There shalt be no jacking off today…JACK ME OFF!”

“OOHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

“I’m jacking off!”

The climax of the dub, as narrated by Falco.

“Now I’m back alive. WHYYY!?”

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU TWICE!”

Doing things in twos is just the Dedede way.

“AH NEED AH MONSTAH TO CLOBBAH DAT DERE PENIS!”

You like his quote?

“Wario’s gotta lose!”

Luigi finally grows a pair.

“MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW”

The last intelligible thing we hear, presumably Jigglypuff, before Penny banishes everyone for their hubris.

[andorshitdaily]

Next up on Wandor Wednesday Wars......Mario Kart!!

What is up my good Wandor Wednesday Warriors? Today we are coming at you with something truly unhinged: Andor meets Mario Kart.

I have thrown 32 Andor characters into a hat. I have thrown 32 Mario Kart 8 Deluxe characters into a different hat (I have so many hats, y'all). I have pulled one of each out to pair them up for competition. The pairs will compete as a team throughout the bracket. It's really that simple.

For the 1v1 matchups, just picture the Andor characters sitting down with their Nintendo Switch controllers side by side and competing in a Versus battle. Whoever has the best finish in the race is the one to advance (they wouldn't necessarily have to win, just finish better).

And now what we've all been waiting for.....the pairing lineup:

Mario - Mon Mothma Luigi - Brasso Peach - Taramyn Barcona Daisy - Dedra Meero Rosalina - Linus Mosk Tanooki Mario - Lio Partagaz Cat Peach - Cassian Andor Yoshi - Wilmon Paak Toad - Time Grappler Koopa Troopa - Syril Karn Shy Guy - Cinta Kaz Lakitu - Timm Karlo Toadette - Perrin Fertha King Boo - Taga Baby Mario - B2EMO Baby Luigi - Leida Mothma Baby Peach - Ruescott Melshi Baby Daisy - Kino Loy Baby Rosalina - Saw Gerrera Metal Mario - Corv Pink Gold Peach - Lonni Jung Wario - Kleya Marki Waluigi - Karis Nemik Donkey Kong - Tay Kolma Bowser - Vel Sartha Dry Bones - Luthen Rael Bowser Jr. - Arvel Skeen Dry Bowser - Blevin Lemmy - Jezzi Larry - Gorn Wendy - Bix Caleen Ludwig - Eedy Karn

That list is already making this post really long so I won't list the Round one matchups but here is the bracket where you can see them for yourself (or just like, wait a bit and they'll be posted anyway):

What do you think? Who would you main? What track do you picture them racing on? Who's going all the way?

May the best racer win.

[millzysworld]

I've been thinking about sharing some of my headcanons for Spiny Mushroom and little bit Bowuigi and Mareach, I hope you all like this post and tell what do you think about these headcanons!

💙🐢Kipbert/Spiny Mushroom headcanons!🍄💙

Toadbert is the youngest brother of Russ T. (From Paper Mario 64) and Hint Toad from Toad Brigade (which I named him Tyler Toad) as well as the youngest son of Toarge Toad (Toad General) and Toadeliah Toad (My OC)

Parakipper sometimes have a hard time to control his anger issues because of his explosive power and almost ready to crash everything on his way in fury. Luckily, Toadbert is able to calm him down.

Toadbert and Parakipper often share each other some questions about mysteries of worlds, science of species, basics of fighting skills and so on. Even kinds of books they like to read.

Whenever Toadbert gets tired from work in Peach's castle, Parakipper tries to be right here for him, so Bert wouldn't feel lonely (of course if he wish himself)

Parakipper teaches Toadbert the basics of fighting and self-defence skills, so Bert could defend himself in expedition with his older brother and Toad Brigade.

💚🐢Bowuigi headcanons!👨‍🦱💚

Bowser and Luigi love to paint portraits of beautiful places they visited with Bowser Jr. and Koopalings.

Luigi uses pet names such as Bowsie, Bow-Bow, my precious king and so on, while Bowser calls him Lu, Cutie Green, my brave hero.

Luigi likes to pull funny pranks on Bowser with children on April Fools, or sometimes Bowser pulls pranks on him.

❤👨‍🦱 Mareach Headcanons! 👸💖

Mario and Peach always participate in many sorts of activities together, such as karting, tennis, volleyball, golfing, even competing with Luigi and Bowser, having so much fun.

Peach cheers for Mario on friendly armwrestling with Bowser, even if he sometimes loses the round.

Peach loves to call Mario my beautiful knight, Mar and my lovely superstar, while Mario calls her Peachy, dear and my love.

Welp, that's all for now. Thank you for reading and see you soon!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Bowser

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Most of the time, saying a character needs no introduction is a bit of an exaggeration, because there is always the chance, however slim, that someone has not heard of that character. That’s not the case here, though; you could go to the deepest, most isolated jungle tribe on Earth, ask the villagers if they’ve heard of Mario, and they’ll all start singing out the Mario theme music. With that in mind, today’s subject absolutely needs no introduction, but out of respect for the King of Koopas I’ll give him one anyway: This is Bowser.

Bowser is not simply a video game villain. Bowser is THE video game villain. Like Mario, Peach, and Luigi, this big old turtle is pretty much a household name, loved far and wide for his iconic design, simple yet effective boss battles, and his inexplicable yet somehow still understandable sexiness. The question is, can I make it through this review without making some sort of crude comment about the raw sexuality the King of Koopas exudes? Lets find out!

Motivation/Goals: Bowser from day one has always been a pretty simple man. All he wants in life is those peaches, peaches, peaches… And I mean, really, can you blame him?

Yes, his motivations and goals are pretty simple and shallow, but he always manages to make something as trite as rescuing a damsel in distress fun and refreshing. His strict adherence to basic formula leaves a lot of room for mixing things up though, and this same adherence makes the times when he breaks tradition and does something like fight on Mario’s side all the better. And sometimes it’s clear Bowser just wants to relax and fuck around by karting, playing board games, or competing in some sort of sport.

It’s a fun little twist on that old “Knight rescues a princess from a dragon,” except the dragon is a giant turtle and the knight is an Italian plumber (a more powerful force than any knight could hope to be). Of course, the fact Bowser is incredibly obsessed with a woman despite her wanting nothing to do with him means that Bowser is—you guessed it—a

Performance: Hoo boy, are there a lot of Bowser voice actors.

The cartoons used Harvey Atkins, who delivered a fun and cartoonish take on Bowser; Marc Graue voiced him in Hotel Mario, but this isn’t shocking as he was basically every male character in that game; Peter Cullen technically voiced him from 1996 to 2006 due to archival roars he provided for the 1976 remake of King Kong being repurposed for Bowser’s own roars; Charles Martinet provided his iconic evil laughs for 64; Kenny James is his current voice actor; Jack Black turned in a very against type performance in the Illumination movie; and Dennis Hopper of all people portrayed him in the live action film from the 90s. And these are just the ones I wanted to highlight! There are a few English voice actors I skipped as well as his extensive Japanese voice cast! Here’s the complete list, just so I’m not here all day:

The point I’m trying to make is this: Bowser’s iconic status is completely a group effort, and each of these dudes helped contribute to Bowser’s status in our hearts and minds in their own unique ways.

Final Fate: It really depends on the game or movie or whatever, but he is always defeated by Mario at any rate. Sometimes he’s simply defeated and sent on his way; sometimes he’s captured and imprisoned, like in the animated movie; and sometimes he just fucking dies, like in the live action movie and New Super Mario Bros. Don’t worry, he gets better.

Best Scene: Bowser in the earlier games had rather simple boss fights, though they weren’t completely unmemorable. Still, out of his early days it’s hard to deny his epic battle against Yoshi in the finale of Yoshi’s Island, where his child self is grown to gargantuan size and ominously lumbers towards you from the background while a hardcore boss tune blasts through your speakers, is the peak of his NES/SNES days.

Then we have his early forays into 3D, and it’s inarguable that the boss fights he has against Mario in the timeless classic Super Mario 64 are some of his best, even if they are rather simplistic. I mean, this is where we got “So long, Gay Bowser!” from, can you really deny its place in Mario history? And those are just a couple! We could probably sit here all day talking about his great battles in games like Odyssey, New Super Mario Bros, Galaxy, and so on.

Bowser’s most impressive showing outside of the games is The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The initial teaser for the film, which showcased his opening fight against the penguin kingdom, really helps establish Bowser as the threat he is, and the final battle and the wedding scene in the movie are some of his greatest villain moments to date. But I’m going to be cliché and give the spotlight to his villain song, “Peaches.”

Here’s the thing, though: As a song, “Peaches” kind of sucks. It’s just Jack Black saying “Peaches” fifty times in a row and then making Jack Black noises. But that’s also what makes it so genuinely great; in the hands of a lesser actor/musician, this really would just be the dumbest shit imaginable, but in the hamtastic hands of Jack Black the song has become an instant legend. I think the visuals and the beautiful piano playing really help, not to mention the official music video where JB dresses up as Bowser and tosses peaches around. Lyrically it’s nothing to write home about, but man does the performance really sell it.

Oh yeah and there’s this too:

Final Thoughts & Score

It is near impossible to overstate how iconic, important, and downright awesome Bowser is.

Like, this guy is the final boss. He pretty much codified what that means in terms of video games, being one of the first iconic big bads of gaming and the first adversary a lot of gamers fought. It’s kind of hard to believe today, but the original Mario games were genuinely some of the most groundbreaking games of all time, and the only reason it’s hard to believe is because video games have been building off the groundwork they laid down back in the 80s. Bowser is no exception; every single video game villain, especially platformer villains, owes a debt of gratitude to the king of the Koopas.

I think part of the reason Bowser has managed to survive and thrive through console generation after console generation is because he, much like the rest of the core Mario cast, is extremely versatile as a character and can slip into any situation with relative ease. He can be an evil overlord, a bratty child, a loving father, a kart racer, an Olympic champion, a platform fighter combatant, the owner of a Coney Island disco palace, a giant skeleton, a board game player, it doesn’t matter! Bowser can do it all! He can be a goofy, bumbling comedy villain or he can be a galaxy-destroying threat that would make Thanos shit himself, he has range like you wouldn’t believe!

It helps that both times he has shown up in a movie he has managed to be a scene-stealing smorgasbord of ham and cheese. Dennis Hopper’s madcap, in-it-for-the-money-but-not-half-assing-it performance in the live action film is so delightfully over the top that he manages to make the mere act of saying “Monkey” and “Bob-Omb” memorable and meme-worthy. While he’s a bit far off from what you’d totally want from Bowser, and his saurian form gets relegated to a two second cameo before his death, it’s hard for me to really give him less than a solid 7/10. He’s just too damn fun.

Meanwhile, Jack Black delivered a performance so good that it makes it easy to overlook the many problems the movie has (like its terrible needle drops). He’s just so fun, funny, and even genuinely intimidating, perfectly mixing all of the traits that make people love Bowser into one big, juicy package. I think everyone knew this was going to be a 10/10 performance right from the moment it was announced, but still it was pretty impressive just how well Black was able to slip into Bowser to the point he was almost unrecognizable at times.

No one would argue that Bowser deserves less than an 11/10; he is genuinely one of the single most important characters of the 21st century, and has made a mark on gaming that very few villains could match. He is to final bosses what Dracula is to vampires, what the Wicked Witch is to witches, and what Fu Manchu is to racist caricatures of Asian people. Other villains have more depth and complexity than Bowser, but that doesn’t really matter when he kidnaps Peach for the thousandth time and throws an army of freaky mushroom men and crazy turtles at you, because you’re gonna be there helping Mario stomp those Goombas to get to him. Bowser is just an icon, and his place in video game history is absolutely, utterly gargantuan.

JUST LIKE HIS DICK!

[darkvioletwonderland]

Blue Daisies and Pink Cherry Blossoms

Chapter 2 - Wilt

Unnnoticed flowers die if not tendered to. Left out to dry and return to the soil which it grew from. But what if there's no soil to grow on anymore. What if the flower didn't exist in the first place. "Aphelios." The blue haired one snapped out from his disassociated state, turning to the voice speaking to him. The long haired DJ Yone looked at Aphelios with a quite concerned expression on his face. Aphelios on the other hand, looked down at his plate of food. The plate of chicken breast with a side of rice sitting untouched before him. "Is everything okay?" Looking back at Yone, he nodded. Deciding to pick up his plate and set it in the microwave to reheat. Yone watched Aphelios go, concern still lingering in the air.  "FUCK OFF LOSER!" As Aphelios got to the kitchen, he got to witness the highs and lows of a bunch of guys competing in Mario Kart. Wii edition. "HEHHEHE Get FUCKED KAYN" Ezreal's gremlin laugh echoed as he succesfully hit Kayn with a blue shell. "Shouldn't have chosen Princess Peach! Everyone knows Rosalina is the best princess!" "Excuse you!" K'sante elbowed Ezreal. "Daisy is the better princess! She kicks butt anyday of the week" Speaking as he drifts with his Luigi away from a banana peel on the track.  Sett laughed as he simply enjoyed taking the star with Toad and plowing through most of the CPU karts.  Aphelios looked on silently, half smiling at all the chatter from the group. All while letting his plate heat up.  He felt embarassed admiting it, but he still thought about the conversation earlier with Sett.  The fact someone was pursuing him haunted him. The giggling and smile that spread across Sett's face previously replayed in his head with a concerning consistency. Unsure what to make of his feelings, well, what were his feelings?  It's not like Aphelios wasn't spending a lot of time with Sett already, they had the big band debut a few days ago afterall. Sett and him have been friends since childhood. They had always been close.  Maybe he was overthinking over nothing. That had to be it. Returning to the table with the reheated plate, he continued to watch the group from afar as Kayn screeched in victory. Watching the band just have fun and relax, specially after the big HEARTSTEEL debut, was so pleasing. Aphelios found himself smiling and slowly letting himself enjoy the moment. His overwhelming thoughts are probably nothing. His and Sett's friendship was fine. They had to be. For his own sanity.

       -Alune ♥️: Hey, are we still on for tonight? The blue haired man flinched awake hearing the notification ding from his phone. Picking it up quickly.

       -Me 💙: . . .        -Me 💙: The movie right?  Aphelios wouldn't lie, he did sort of forget about their plans. After eating, he had excused himself and immediately crashed in bed.         -Alune ♥️: you forgot about it didn't you        -Me 💙: Ahaha- yeah        -Alune ♥️: brother- okay I won't question. But are you still free?

He thought for a second, trying to recall what the schedule was. He was free for the rest of the night. Maybe this was the distraction he needed for the thoughts from  earlier.        -Me 💙: Uh yeah I am         -Me 💙: what time was the movie?         -Alune ♥️: 7:30 pm         -Me 💙: alrighty- an hour n 30 minutes I got it        -Alune ♥️: Need me to pick you up?        -Me 💙: Please <3

Aphelios got up and quickly scurried to wash up. Letting the water ease him up, pampering his body with warmth. It felt good having something to distract himself with, to give himself time to settle down the confusing storm that was his mindset. Giving it time to settle might just what he needed. Spending time with his favorite person in the world would do it. 

By the time Alune picked Aphelios up, they made their way to the theater. Getting their tickets and buying popcorn for the movie. A chick flick, not really something Aphelios would see regurlarly, but to spend time with Alune he didn't mind.  "Hey bro, let me go to the bathroom real quick." Alune mentioned before handing Aphelios everything. He nodded and held everything as Alune scurried to the bathroom. Standing by the bathrooms and watching people go by. Aphelios felt at ease, happy. Finding himself smiling under his face mask. This was going to be great.  "Phel?"

Aphelios turned as that specific deep voice called for him. Immediately crossing eyes with Sett, dressed up as if he was going to a cocktail party or ceremony. Though Aphelios quickly realized he wasn't alone, as beside him hugging his arm was a stunning woman. Staring up and down at Aphelios, almost like a snake it's prey.

-------------------------------------

Hope you guys enjoyed! It's short but I still love the Settphel ship. I promise I'm cooking <3 If you guys wish to support my writing in AO3, it'll be greatly appreciated

[spaceself]

Thinking about who my f/os & comfort characters would main (in ref to the mario kart poll) in-depth now. under the 'read more' cus i ramble on for a while lol

Luke strikes me as a Shy Guy or Luigi player. Probably played a lot of video games including Mario Kart when younger, especially with MC! He says he's rusty, as he hasn't had the time as an adult to spend on video games like he did when he was a kid, but ends up winning in 1st place anyways (he doesn't actually secretly play games during his downtime, he really hasn't picked up a game in ages, but somehow those skills just haven't left him (it's most definitely because he treasure those memories, because most of the time he had played those types of games with his loved ones, so in a way, he never really forgot how to play)). He will most definitely let you win to make you happy, probably slowing down at last second so you could get 1st place (expect a lot of "wooaahhh good job!"s and "i knew you could do it!"s) Wouldn't ever do it for anyone else though. Especially Marius LMAO

Marius is taking Pauline hands down, maybe would make an exception for either of the princesses (Peach & Daisy) if Pauline is taken by another player. Will be annoying if he has to play as anyone else. I imagine him as another gamer when he was younger, but still plays video games during his downtime as an adult! He doesn't want to strain his hands by playing for too long, so he doesn't ever play for long stretches of time and would probably play for about an hour per day at max, but he would most likely be the one to bring up playing Mario Kart as a fun group NXX activity! Ends up having a very strong vendetta against Luke and Vyn (we'll get to him in a bit) afterwards

Artem, my beloved, is a very simple man with simple pleasures. i initially said he'd main peach (i can def see him finding her cute and liking her aesthetic-wise), but realistically he'd only play as Mario and wouldn't choose any other character unless he has to. his 2nd best choice would he Yoshi (who he also finds just as cute!). has probably never picked up a game never and, if he would, would only stick to incredibly cozy and casual games. visual novels, farming simulators and slice of life games galore. when first introduced to mario kart, he'd probably think he'd get the hang of it as he's an incredibly skilled driver irl! but then would struggle to even accelerate or steer properly, and would also continuously crash into the walls of the course or fall off the map entirely. he needed luke to tell him how to even go forward when they first started. marius is laughing. he'd rather be playing hello kitty picross for the 3ds instead. my poor bbg

Vyn is a wild card through and through, so I can see him bouncing from character to character (ESPECIALLY if any unlisted characters are involved or we're talking about Mario Kart 8 with dlc characters), but enjoys playing as Rosalina the most specifically for the aesthetics. his playstyle is to get on everyone else's nerves. like artem, he has no experience with games at all and would also struggle with the controls (although not to such a serious of an extent as artem LMAO), but would catch on quickly! because he's not as skilled of a driver, he utilizes the item boxes to the best of his ability. it doesn't matter how slow he's going if everyone else is getting hit with shells! whenever marius is in his vicinity, it is On Sight. he ALWAYS makes sure to save at least ONE shell, banana peel, etc. for his favorite student <3 he isn't skilled enough to out-manoeuvre luke but IS competent (and spiteful) enough to stop Marius from winning. marius is dying on the inside.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[silenzahra]

My beloved bestie... this was TOO GOOD not to do something about it 🤭 I hope I did justice to your funny idea as you really made me laugh with it 😂

Hopefully this'll make you laugh too, my dear @bberetd 🥰💖

One more time

Mario can't remember feeling so ashamed in his life.

He can jump very high. He can drive his go-kart with his eyes closed. He knows he’d never fall off his motorbike, because he can do all kinds of stunts on it and he’s never once feared for his physical integrity.

Who would have thought that a bicycle would be his Achilles heel?

“Are you okay, Dad?”

His seven-year-old daughter's voice brings him back to the present. Apricot looks at him with bright blue eyes, like her mother's, full of concern, framed by her brown curls which, just like when she was little, she still ties back into two buns on either side of her head. Now they stick out from under the blue helmet she’s wearing, matching her wristbands and knee pads. Since his child began to show her own tastes, Mario has never ceased to be surprised by the fact that Apricot almost always wears blue and pink. Her protective gear? Blue. Her bicycle, a gift made entirely by her uncle Luigi? Pink. Her hooded T-shirt? Pink. The overalls she’s insisted on wearing since she was little to imitate him and Luigi? Blue.

In the midst of the pain caused by the umpteenth fall, Mario smiles. Luckily his mother is good with a needle and Luigi has learned from her. The two of them have always made sure that Apricot has her precious overalls as she has grown. And in her favorite, signature colors. Just like Mario has red and Luigi has green.

But now his daughter is uneasy and Mario cannot allow it.

Immediately, he broadens his smile and jumps to his feet, ignoring the pull he feels in his calf. He wouldn't want to worry his daughter for the world.

He wouldn't want to disappoint his daughter for the world.

“Of course!” he exclaims, exaggerating his joy, and puts his fists on his hips. “Ready to try again!”

“Are you sure?” Apricot doesn't seem very convinced. “You don't have to...”

“Marioooooooooo!”

Daisy's singing voice, passing by at full speed behind him, distracts him. As he turns, Mario watches her ride her bike with total skill and ease, waving cheerfully at him and winking. The plumber crosses his arms and shakes his head in resignation. His friend won't stop teasing him until he succeeds.

Competing against Daisy should be motivation enough.

But Mario's real motivation is by his side, riding her pink bike and waving back at her aunt. He really wants to triumph; he really wants to ride his bike with her so they have something more to share. He never thought it’d be so difficult... He never thought he’d fall so many times that he might end up embarrassing his daughter, and that's not even taking into account the fact that he already feels quite ashamed of himself having had to reluctantly accept that his younger brother, an expert in mechanics, would install a couple of training wheels on his red bicycle.

Not even his seven-year-old daughter has training wheels anymore.

How embarrassing.

Just then, a pair of hands grab his bike and lift it. A moment later, Mario meets the gaze of his twin, also concerned.

Although he can't help but detect the small flash of amusement that shines in his blue eyes.

“Everything all right, Mario?” Luigi asks, looking him up and down.

“All good, little bro,” he nods, giving a thumbs up and trying to appear as confident as possible.

“Are you sure...?” Luigi seems as unconvinced as Apricot. “Sure you don't want me to add another pair of training wheels to your bike?”

Apricot lets out a snort that causes Luigi to bite his lower lip so as not to burst out laughing. Mario glares at him, frowning, lips tight, and realizes too late that he’s pouting. Luigi and Apricot, now unable to contain themselves, roar with laughter.

“Mariooooooooooo!”

Daisy distracts him again, but this time Mario is left open-mouthed when he turns to her, because his friend is riding her bike... backwards. Literally. She’s sitting on the seat with her elbows and back resting on the handlebars, and she’s waving her legs over the rear wheel while her bicycle moves forward at full speed.

Mario is unable to wipe the astonishment from his face.

“She can do that?” he asks, amazed, pointing at her.

“She's had a lot of practice,” replies Luigi, rubbing his stomach.

“Aunt Daisy is great!” Apricot exclaims enthusiastically. “I want to learn to ride like her!”

“I'm sure she'll teach you, Albicocca,” Luigi says, patting her back affectionately.

Mario has had enough. He understands his daughter's admiration for Daisy, as he himself is fascinated by her skills, but he wants to be the one to go out cycling with Apricot. He knows he's too late to teach her, as he himself is not capable of doing so, but it's only a matter of time.

If Bowser couldn't make him give up when he kept kidnapping his beloved princess, how is he going to let something as simple as riding a bicycle get in his way?

“All right.”

Clenching his fists and more determined than ever, Mario turns back to his bike. His helmet is half off his head, but he doesn't care. He grabs the handlebars of his bike and gets back on. He has a scratch on his calf, another on his forearm, and his back and shoulder ache from his many previous falls.

But he's going to try again. One more time.

“Hey.”

A hand on his shoulder stops him just before he starts to move. Looking up, he comes face to face with the warm smile of his younger sibling, who looks at him fondly and gives him a supportive squeeze, before carefully readjusting the helmet on his head.

“You can do it, Mario,” he assures him. “I believe in you.”

Something suddenly wells up inside Mario. A bit of warmth rises in his heart and slowly envelops him as Luigi's words sink in. His little brother, always so loyal, always full of unshakeable faith in him, always ready to encourage him and make him believe in himself despite his many teases and jokes.

After all, he’s his little brother. It’s his job to make fun of him.

But Luigi adores him as much as Mario adores him back, and he knows that he can always count on him. Always.

“Thanks, Lu,” he nods, returning a smile full of affection.

“You got this, Dad!”

Mario laughs at his daughter's enthusiasm as she applauds him, and his heart warms even more. His precious little girl, with her mother's eyes and her gap-toothed smile, as she recently lost her first tooth, also encourages him and believes in him. And, through her, Mario can feel the support of Peach, his beloved princess, who would also applaud him if she could be there with him. Mario knows it.

“Mario! Mario! Mario!” Daisy's singing rings out as she circles around them on her bike. “You're so amaziiiiiing!”

The three of them laugh at Daisy's encouragement. Mario is extremely grateful for his friend's support and feels more ready than ever to try again.

“One more time,” he tells himself.

And, with that, he sets off on his bike.

something I’d find funny is Mario being able to do all these cool maneuvers and trick shots with his go-karts and electric motorcycles but cannot FOR THE LIFE OF HIM ride a bicycle.

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

My Unofficial Luigi Character Bio

Luigi is Mario’s younger twin brother who is taller than his older brother, and his moustache has big swooshes as opposed to his brother’s fluffy moustache. His profession like his brother is plumbing, and like his brother he was brought to his parents in the Mushroom Kingdom he would grow up with his brother. He even attended kindergarten with a Baby Peach. Eventually the moved to Big City now New Donk City where they could go through many jobs with his brother. While his abilities are mostly on par with Mario he is a bit weaker than Mario, and is able to jump higher than him as well. Luigi is smarter than Mario, being regarded as the one with the brains between the 2 siblings. Often using his intelligence in adventures or strategizing on the tennis court, and his wits in party events. Luigi, having gone on many adventures like his brother, is athletic and is able to do well in sports and the Olympics. While he is often low-key he is described as a dark horse. He has a friendly rivalry with Mario since his childhood which comes out in events like Mario Kart resulting in heated competitions, to the point where in the Olympics they compete to see who gets the most medals. Luigi is famous like his brother though he is less recognized for his heroics often being put down because people have underestimated him, with even Bowser calling him Green Mario at times. Though he does get his time to shine with his green fireballs. He has gone on many adventures but there are some adventures he rather sit out or he needs to stay home to watch the house. But he has also gone on his own adventures like one in which he rescued Princess Eclair, and several of which he rescued Mario. Luigi also seems to have this weird envy of Peach often dressing up in her dress, and would even use the Super Crown if he could. Luigi is cautious and at times cowardly, nervous, and even a bit lazy at times. However, he has a strong sense of justice and is overall an all-around great guy while being a bit shy. Luigi's primary fear is ghosts, but will overcome these fears due to the bond he has with his brother aka his best pal. This is shown in his rivalry with King Boo. He is also not afraid of Waluigi and takes him as a joke. In the end whenever he and his brother team up, there is nothing the 2 of them can’t achieve. He is also heavily implied to be dating Princess Daisy. Luigi has provided oil and tires for Mario kart events through Luigi Oil and Luigi Tires. Luigi even has his own racing team such as Luigi Racing Team and Luigi Gusters, and he even had a Luigi Grand Prix.

[lilyclawthorne]

Bruno's eyes glazed over as the blue shell slammed on the unsuspecting Luigi; he gave Julieta a betrayed hiss while Pepa guffawed in the background.

11/30

(Every time I read this prompt today I went “oh! I should play Mario kart and then did that instead of anything I was supposed to do)

“Yeah!! Get his ass tía,” Camilo yelled, while the rest of the kids also cheered on the two who were left playing.

“Camilo!! Watch your language!!” Pepa scolded as she whipped her head around towards her son, “But yeah Juli, get his ass!!”

“I don’t understand why we’re all so excited for this,” Alma said as she watched the screen

Mirabel was the first to question, “What do you mean, Abuela?”

“Well because, everyone else finished. They’re only competing to see who doesn’t get last place.”

[keylovesstuff]

Imagine that the initial visit was just so they could all just take Luigi go-karting for the first time because they want to show him the many fun things this fantasy world has to offer, and even though all that stuff happened the first time, Mario genuinely enjoyed himself and wants to experience that with Luigi they want to all just want to smile and laugh together 🥹🥹🥹 and I like to think that they eventually do but we have to get through a little angst first huehuehuehue 😈😈.

The whole Rainbow Road and eel thing coming up as they're either customizing their karts or driving on the road in general ( oh, what if there's still people on that road repairing it as they drive on it) of course the Weeg's questions and Mario tries to avoid it at first but eventually tells him about it.

Dk definitely cherishes his family, friends, and just everyone in the kingdom in general (of course, he does he's their prince). I like to think that's another reason why everyone idolizes and loves him too he's just a good guy who loves showing off his muscles whenever he can, lol. Cranky definitely instilled a strong family in Dk since he was a baby, They both recognized that with the bros.

Oooh, interesting headcanon I can get behind!!! That makes Cranky an even better leader, and another reason why respects and adores him as their ruler, and he's trying to train his son to eventually take on that wisdom when its his turn to inherent the throne. (Side note this made me think about how I wished Toadsworth was in the movie cause as competent and as strong of a leader as Peach is... she still needs that guidance). Now I'm thinking about all the other kingdoms and how their oldest people have to offer their current leaders 🤔 Gosh that headcanon has so much to offer if you ever get around to writing up something about that plz do share 🥹🥹🥹.

Luigi deserves all the warmest of welcomes, and with everyone he meets, they can't help but to be nice to the guys he's so sweet (well except Bowser and his minions but he had his own agenda)!!!

Cranky realising that he has to put up with this bs every time Mario comes visiting.

[docexe-mx]

Some belated general thoughts regarding the Super Mario Bros. movie after the trailers and other footage they have showed so far (not to mention, the TV ads that… ehem… leaked):

The animation and art style looks impressive. From a visual standpoint, it’s probably the prettiest movie Illumination has produced to date.

The characters’ designs weirded me out at first, not because they looked bad but rather because they actually looked very faithful to the game renders while still being very different in key respects (particularly in the facial shapes). That combination of “familiar yet also different” caused me a reaction akin to an “uncanny valley” effect of sorts, but by this point I have become pretty accustomed to the movie designs so I don’t really mind them anymore.

Talking about faithfulness, I’m honestly (and pleasantly) surprised by the amount of cues the movie is taking from the games. So far we have seen references that go from the mainline Mario platformers (both 2D and 3D), to Mario Kart, to Super Mario Maker, to even Donkey Kong Country and Super Smash Bros. Considering how the original live action film (not to mention several other videogame movies, for that matter) took lots of questionable liberties with the source material, seeing this one being this faithful it’s actually refreshing.

The story seems like it’s going to be relatively simple: Bowser wants to conquer the world and is invading other kingdoms to obtain the Power Stars, Mario will go through a “Chosen One”/”Fish out of Water”/”Zero to Hero” journey in order to stop him. Nothing particularly original or out of this world, but I think it ultimately works well for a Super Mario movie.

The above being said, there are two things that I do find fascinating regarding what’s been shown so far of the movie’s story. The first is that they are going back to the OG backstory of the Mario brothers being Italian plumbers living in Brooklyn who accidentally end up in the Mushroom Kingdom while doing their jobs. I saw some people online confused/annoyed by this “Isekai-like” take, but that’s actually the original background the characters had in the arcade Mario Bros. game, and which was later used in both The Super Mario Bros. Super Show cartoon and the original live action movie.

The second thing that caught my attention is the apparent role inversion between Luigi and Peach. It seems that, this time, Peach is taking a more proactive role in actively defending her kingdom and will be Mario’s primary companion at the beginning of the movie, while Luigi is going to be the “distressed dude” whose kidnapping by Bowser will incite Mario’s quest to stop the villain. It’s an interesting variation on what we usually see in the mainline games. Of course, given this is still a Super Mario movie, I’m expecting Mario will reunite with Luigi at the end of the second act/beginning of the third act only for Peach to be captured instead, which will then lead into the final confrontation with Bowser. That would be slightly disappointing if it happens, but it wouldn’t surprise me given that, again, it’s a Super Mario movie.

So far it seems that the humor will be comprised primarily of self-referential jokes and slapstick. It probably won’t land with everyone, but I think this style of comedy is appropriate for a Mario movie and some of the gags do have made me chuckle. Mercifully, there hasn’t been a single fart joke so far, I just hope that remains true during the entire film.

Regarding the slapstick, I also have seen some people annoyed that Mario looks so bumbling in the footage shown so far. It certainly clashes with his general depiction these days where he is presented as a hyper-competent and confident hero, but given this is supposed to be an origin story of sorts, I don’t mind his clumsiness that much. It kind of mimics the pitfalls (heh!) people tend to find when they play platforming games for the first time, and besides, some of the ads that have leaked imply that he becomes more skilled later on.

The overall online discourse regarding the film still revolves a lot around the casting situation (which is annoying for reasons I have already pointed out before). The only thing I will say on this matter is that Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key and Charlie Day are all killing it in their respective roles, while Chris Pratt and Anya Taylor-Joy sound unimpressive, not because their performances are particularly bad so much as that they sound extremely flat. Mind you, Pratt does sound better in the footage that was shown at the Game Awards, but it remains to be seen if his performance will be better in the final reel.

All things considered, I’m very excited for this movie. I’m not exactly expecting something out of this world, as Illumination is not exactly one of the best animation studios in the business (although I also don’t think they are actually as bad as the Internet tends to paint them, Minions notwithstanding of course). That being said, what has been shown so far looks really promising and it seems like it will make for a good time at the cinema. So, fingers crossed.

[earthnashes]

Out of curiosity, since Sports are the major settlement on many disagreements in your AU, do any of the Major characters have a favorite or preferred Sport they're the best at, or enjoy playing in particular?

-Mario loves the Super Star event; not necessarily because he's really good at it but because it's just tons of fun. He likes the challenges Bowser thinks up for the event and often finds them very clever. Alternatively, he loves playing Basketball.

-Luigi loves Kart Racing; Luigi isn't typically competitive but when it comes to racing? Oh shit is on. He's almost like a completely different person when he races; not mean of course, but man he becomes very competitive.

-Peach loves Tennis, and is particularly good at it. She mostly only plays it for leisure but often wipes the floor with her competition.

-Bowser loves Golf. He isn't actually good at it, but like Peach he plays it for the fun of it, not because of his skill. He finds it rather relaxing and loves bringing the kids to play as well.

-Bowsette loves Roller Derby; it's probably the first sport she's ever played because Kamek figured it'd be an excellent way to get all of her aggressive energy out without actually hurting anyone. He was right. She loves the rush and the speed of the sport, and absolutely loves being able to get as physical as she can. She's prone to shittalking her opponents.

-Daisy loves Soccer; Brawling is her sport of career choice and while she does indeed enjoy it, it's still essentially her job. She loves playing soccer for the hell of it, specifically Strikers Soccer for it's more aggressive style.

-Pauline loves Surfing. Like Peach she doesn't actually do it for the sake of competing, although when she was young she used to be on a surfing highschool team; she was good enough to consider going pro but ultimately pursued a career in politics. She often takes vacations to places with oceans so she can catch a few waves.

[redoqs]

Good morning bestie! I’m choosing violence today

The Dimitrescu sisters all playing Mario Kart together. I feel like they’re all competitive asf and that’s going to end up with fights because who threw that fucking red shell?

Lord the castle is about to be in shambles

Now listen, the girls have been begging and begging and BEGGING Alcina to get them a Nintendo switch so they could play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (yes the deluxe matters) and finally they walk into a “gaming room” and find that their mother had set up the console up to a new tv she bought, aint she sweet🥰🥰🥰 she tells them to be nice and to not break anything.

“Yes mother🥰🥰🥰”

Alcina leaves and the moment she does this happens:

Cass: I call being player one!!!

Bela: no I’m player one! I’m literally oldest???

Cass: the fuck that got to do with me???

While Bela and Cass are fighting over who gets to be number one, Dani walks over to the console and is so mesmerized! She picks the handheld out of the dock and the screen goes black and now she’s panicking because shit! Did she break it!?!!?! She puts to console back in the doc and the screen comes back “oh it has to be in the thing for the picture to show up!” She unhooks the remotes, handing the red one to Bela and the blue one to Cass, connecting a green one. Bela cheers when she learns she gets to be player one

So now they’re choosing characters. Bela would choose Mario because she’s boring🙄 couldn’t even go with my boy Luigi. Cass chooses Bowers Jr. why not Bowers? Because that’s Alcina’s character and she’ll be damned if she chooses the same main as her mother (which is funny because Alci would main Daisy cmon🙄). Dani couldn’t pick between Yoshi and Toad and eventually she chooses Yoshi because look at his tongue! And the way he says YOSHI is so cute🥰 they pick their karts, turn everything to the most chaotic setting and they’re going!!!

Dani is already pissed because she held the accelerate button too long and ended up exploding in the beginning. Cass laughs at her as she takes her rightful place in first while Bela is concentrated in third. But cmon this is chaos settings and Dani gets a bullet and puts her all the way in second. Bela’s pissssssed because the bullet it her and made her fall off the track, putting her in eighth.

“DANI WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Dani just laughs as Bela tries to keep up. Cass was is still in first but that doesn’t last long because guess what? Dani is now in second and grabbed a green shell. She’s getting the shit ready waiting for Cass to line up and BLAM she fucking gets hit and Dani blazes past her.

“WHAT THE SHIT!?!? HOW DID I GET HIT WITH THE WORST SHELL!??????”

Bela is tryna catch up and she’s blazing. She gets an item box and gets the star and now she’s being a menace and hitting everybody she can and now she’s right behind Cass! She’s in the middle of a drift, her eyes set on the next item box but you know how people do that shit where they take more than one box? That’s what Cass does. She takes all of the item boxes.

“CASS YOU GREEDY BITCH WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?”

Cass responds by throwing fireballs behind her and now they’re on the third lap. Dani is cruising aint nothing about to stop her. Or so she thinks because someone in last place grabbed a blue shell and threw that shit with the quickness. Dani heard the familiar sound and she’s heart starts racing because SHO THREW THAT SHIT! She literally screams as she is hit and so many people pass her!!!!! Now she’s just in front of Bela and Cass and they’re all just competing to beat each other. Bela pulls up behind Cass and Dani just barely manages to stay in front as they cross the finish line

Dani: I WONNNN

Bela: You got fourth place

Dani: and you got sixth so whos the real winner here?

Cass: I would’ve won if you didn’t hit me with the bullet

Dani: you still would’ve lost to me. I almost had first but Bela threw that blue fuck shit

Bela: MEEEEE????? I DIDNT THROW THAT! THAT WAS CASS

Cass: WHOOO??????

Now all of them are bickering and the only way they can settle this is with a rematch. Lord knows how that’ll go