#the castle would not be a safe zone when the game is on

[wearepaladin]

Just for fun I’m going to write an outline for an Elden Ring story I’ll never have the time or discipline to write in full, but would be fun to think about. Basically, if Elden Ring were a novel and less bound by the classic Soulsborne mechanic of everyone out to kill you all the time and you could theoretically talk to a bit more folk before they’re running at you with fire and cleavers.

So, more under the cut for those of you inclined for a bit of speculative reading.

So I think the most important thing to get out of the way is the nature of the protagonist, who we have playing the Tarnished of No Renown in this story, because while video games are a fun means of crafting your personalized to fight your way to victory in The Lands Between, for a novel a character who has a presence in the pre established narrative would be ideal. To that end, I have speculated the ToNR’s background based on what can be universally deduced about them based on where they were buried and rose from the Dead when Grace brought them back to life.

So, to that end, I critically went over the game starting zone, The Chapel of Anticipation. It was here where we are interred, along with the ashes of two stormhawks, a recently dead finger maiden, and a Grafted Scion waiting to kill us, with the chapel built on a sea stack with a bridge presumably leading to Stormveil Castle. Stormveil, as a reminder, was originally the fortress of a Storm King, a mysterious figure whose defeat by Godfrey/Hoarah Loux in single combat is considered among the First Elden Lord’s greatest achievements. So, for the sake of the story, based on this little bit of information, I am deciding that the contender for Elden Lord will be played by a Storm King resurrected by the Guidance of Grace, awakened in their tomb to find the Finger Maiden who knew that a lost king was interred here, and where a distant Scion of Godfrey, the Grafted Scion, knew where an old enemy may one day rise.

Thus, a newly risen Storm King would have been active before the existence of the Tarnished as they are now, and indeed, ignorant of much of the current history of the Lands Between and the Shattering of the Elden Ring and ensuing wars. Indeed, depending on the timeline, they would even see Marika as the empress of an invading theocracy and not the long established god queen of the setting. It allows for a protagonist who can fulfill the role of audience surrogate by needing to get caught up on everything, but gives them a more personal motivation than simple power: they are empowered by the force that had slain them and live to see the long wrought consequences of their defeat.

Drawing inspiration from the others titled Storm King in Fromsoftware games, and the nature of Stormveil as the largest and most heavily fortified castle in the game, (arguably anyway) I’m imagining the Storm culture as martial but somewhat isolationist since we don’t see much of their influence beyond what scant remains of their legacy can be found in the castle. The Storm King thus did not combat the Golden Order until Godfrey bested them personally.

The protagonist would then have very personal reasons for removing Godrick from Stormveil castle, not to take his great rune but their ancient home. But in the process of doing so, they meet Melina and the Roundtable Hold, opening doors to a greater understanding of what’s been going on and granting motivation to not just retake Stormveil, but to adress the broken state of the world.

The story the largely goes on as it does in the game: most of the major powers that still remain would be even less inclined to parley with the Storm King than they would some Tarnished with no Renown, but there are some key differences. Limgrave’s population would have a monarch of ancient stock to gather those Sane enough to reside in the safely of Stormveil. The world doesn’t remain static and we see the side of lordship as more than being a godkilling machine, but someone who can lead and have people follow.

Godrick, Radahn, and Rykard are still slain as the three would never be able to be talked down, as they are either determined pretender, ill beyond care, or intending to devour the world respectively. Renalla is never fought as her situation never required a violent resolution. Morgott’s situation becomes much more complex, as while still quite hostile, the growing political influence the Storm King would amass in Limgrave, Liurnia and even remnants of the Redmane army swearing allegiance after the death and liberation of General Radahn, would force a more politically intriguing conflict.

I think that the Storm King would learn that the Erdtree is sealed by thorns by either “diplomacy”’(shouting matches) with Morgott or an intrigue plot involving Black Knives at war with eachother, and lead to the events of the DLC as the SK decides they are unwilling to risk freeing Frenzied Flame or having Melina sacrificed, whatever her willingness. He instead follows a third option, and goes the Lands of Shadow, seeking not Miquella, but Messmer. This would be the beginning of the second book in a theoretical trilogy, as the events in SotE would require the space Rand still culminate with the failed apotheosis of Miquella.

However, as the SK would not arrive in the Lands of Shadow alone, but with political authority tying him to Liurnia and other Golden Order factions, Messmer’s army, having awaited eons for word from home, is receptive enough to allow the SK to engage diplomatically with Rellana and eventually Messmer. Messmer learns of the current status of the Lands Between, meets his sister Melina for the first time, and decides to call off the Crusade after the failed Apotheosis of Miquella. Using his abyssal flame, he then takes his sister’s place at the Mountaintop of Giants, bringing Flame of Mesmer to the tree his mother built her empire from.

While this is happening, the Stormking goes through their own personal journey of discovery as with both the actions committed by the Golden Order and the Hornsent in turn, they find that themself asking the hard question of whether their kingdom’s isolationist policies contributed to the pogroms and cycles of violence by inactivity: could so much harm have been avoided if they or their ancestors been less hostile to the greater lands of the world?

The story then concludes as the ancient powers that have long manipulated behind the scenes interject from various angles as Metyr, the Ancient Dragons, The Frenzied Flame and the Rot all instigate their own attempts regain control of the lands between, with various part of the assembled cast facing their respective foes, Ranni and her Allies facing Metyr and the Fingers, Millicent and remnants Miquella’s followers taking control of their destiny at the Haligtree by facing the Goddess of Rot, Melina and Morgott combining their power against the corrosive influence of Shabriri and the Chaos Flame.

All the while Storm King faces first the Dragons at Farum Azula, revealing ancient ties between the dragons and the Stormking that culminate in a duel between them and Placidusax, and then a rematch between Godfrey and The Storm King, culminating in the final battle against the powers hidden in The Erdtree itself

Then, I think, a variant on the Age of Stars ending would occur. Altered to include influence from the Duskborn and Order endings.

[methoughtsphantom]

DP x DC

not me thinking about imaginary scenarios of ten year old Tim Drake in the ghost zone (pariah’s castle)

where Tim thinks it’s strangely soothing that despite being the only one whose steps connect to the ground, there’s not that eerie silence that befell drake manor

strange blob creatures chitter softly and nip at his hair and swooshes and wisps of wind betray the presence of an invisible ghost

which after following he realizes it’s almost like he’s trailing after the black dark shadow that is batman again

which gives him the idea that, maybe, just this one time, he can play the part of robin

that in mind Tim makes out a game of sneaking to the side of ghosts that look like they’re brooding and if they can spot him he loses

most just grunt in response (very in character) while others fuss over him and ask questions which Tim uses to infodump

he also politely asks the ghost that always asks him how he’s doing to instead say the word “report”

(the ghost looks at him weirdly but humors him and besides the answer would be the same anyways)

Tim also(!!)

gets on the case of why the walls lack tangibility when he is the one leaning on them (he doesn’t live down the time he wanted to look cool only to fall through the wall)

hyperfixates on how gravity works in the ghost zone because he couldn’t do a skateboard trick he has pulled off many many times and he’s salty about it

tries to figure out where they are getting human food from (cause it’s hot enough to be homemade but also there’s no kitchen —so how could it be) (also he wants coffee)

finds out the dude that often gives him a side eye when he finds that Tim knows how to do something (math homework), is next in line for the throne and yet doesn’t have a single “mingle and talk people up” bone in his body. (despite it his networking is a solid 7/10)

gets a ghost horse to adopt him what

discovers pretty quickly that there are rooms to which he can’t phase through (a.k.a. he’s not allowed entry) to which he begrudgingly backs off even though that stands in his way of doing a very thorough layout™ of the place (robin would)

sulks over the lack of extreme sports in the place

(Danny takes him to the Far Frozen where they go tire sliding in the snow and where tim learns how to use a skateboard skate and also that ghost ice cream is just as good as normal ice cream)

sulks again cuz he caught a common cold

also because there’s no sun or moon poor Timmy’s already screwed sleep schedule gets more messed up to the point no one knows when or where he will fall asleep

(ghosts find him in the most unhinged of places with a signature purple cloak draped over him every. single. time.)

overall, be a menace

see-> the time he threatened to build ghost weapons he’d somehow memorized the blueprints of cause Danny wouldn’t let him visit the radium girls factory but yes the renaissance period

see-> that time he went through the whole ghost energy and how to work with it book section in the library and half an hour later had a prototype of a star wars laser beam made

(note: bribing only works for hot chocolate, not for letting him keep cool-looking guns)

just tim having the time of his life

clockwork being no help at all (the ghost loves being a cryptid)

and danny trying not to get attached while he progressively gets more concerned over this chaos child he emotionally adopted as his little brother

(to fit canon cause i want it to this would just be until Danny finds the dimension little Timmy is from, then they can safely yeet the child back to the moment he first went missing)

anyways before anyone knows it’s been three months

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Phantom Boy (5)

When the Doctors Fenton lose their son in a lab accident involving a ghost portal, the distraught parents will do anything to get him back. Even if it means breaking the immutable laws of life and death. But that thing? That’s not their boy.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

Chapter 5: Will to Fight (Read it on AO3)

[No applicable warnings]

When the train re-entered the Ghost Zone, any ghost there immediately ran and hid, but the ghosts aboard shouted out the windows that they were safe, that they'd been freed.

There were scores of parties and celebrations all throughout the Zone in the weeks that followed. Phantom was the guest of honor at so many he lost count. He met hundreds, thousands of ghosts, and even made some new friends.

One of the ghosts he'd saved from the circus, he learned, was an actual ghost princess by the name of Dorathea, who could turn into a dragon, which was pretty stinkin' cool. Her older brother didn't approve of her hanging out with Phantom, for some reason―he got the distinct impression her brother wasn't happy that she'd been rescued at all―but that only made her like him all the more. It wasn't long before she was sneaking out of her castle almost every day to spend time with Phantom and the rest of his friends.

For saving dozens of ghosts from that circus, Phantom had become something of a celebrity in the Ghost Zone, and even weeks later, word was still spreading to the far reaches of the Zone about his feats. The chief of a realm called the Far Frozen came personally to thank Phantom for freeing one of his yetis from Freakshow, and he received letters from leaders and citizens of all sorts of different realms as the ghosts he'd saved started to arrive home safely, thanking him for saving their friends and family members.

It felt good to be a hero.

However, being the center of attention for perhaps the first time in his entire existence was bittersweet. He became hyper-aware of everything he did, terrified of making a mistake and accidentally revealing that he was half human. Even the slightest slip-up could result in him not only losing his friends' trust, but maybe even being driven out of the Ghost Zone entirely. He didn't want to be run out of another home.

He told himself not to linger on his fears. Jazz―his sister, but also not his sister―would have told him to focus on the positives. Like how he thought about her good advice, and not the ache, deep in his chest... in his core when he remembered her apparently telling the Fentons he was against nature. Rather than his fear of being discovered, Phantom decided to spend his time and energy with his friends.

He spent a lot of time in Technus' lab. They were almost finished with the ecto-skeleton, although there were still plenty of bugs to be worked out.

Ember was trying to teach him how to play guitar. He wasn't good at it, but she was a surprisingly patient teacher, and he was enjoying the lessons.

Playing pretend with Youngblood and Skelton was always a fun way to pass the time, and Dora would often join them. Youngblood loved to play the valiant knight, saving the princess by slaying the dragon, with Skelton as his noble steed. Phantom, of course, played the princess. Dora didn't want to, and he wasn't the one who could turn into an actual dragon, anyway.

It was while he was hunting with Skulker, however, that they discovered something that threw the whole Zone into chaos.

In addition to ghost animals and rare game, which he loved to viciously threaten, even though he hardly ever actually hurt his prey, let alone killed it, Skulker was also an occasional artifact hunter. Following clues and outsmarting booby traps wasn't as appealing to him as the thrill of chasing live game. Or... ghost game, anyway.

Sometimes, however, when the mood struck him, or when he caught wind of a particularly interesting ghostly artifact, he would go search for it. Ember would often go on these artifact hunts with him. Skulker thought they made excellent dates, since they were less dangerous and the two of them could work together, unlike his usual hunts, where he would be too focused on his quarry to pay much attention to her. Besides, she didn't care for monster fights.

This time, though, Skulker was only going after the artifact because it was guarded by a ghostly beast called Behemoth, which meant Ember wasn't interested. Not stupid enough to fight the legendary behemoth without at least a spectator, if not possible back-up, Skulker invited Phantom along instead. He was something of a hero now, after all.

Granted, Phantom had absolutely no experience fighting monsters, and honestly hadn't really even properly fought Freakshow, but Skulker didn't seem to care. They were ghosts. That kind of eliminated the fear of death. This was just a way to kill an afternoon and entertain themselves. Worst case scenario for Phantom, as a half-ghost, was that he could end up dying the rest of the way and become a full ghost, which would actually solve his biggest problem at the moment.

At least, that was what he thought.

Until they reached the lair of Behemoth, and the beast was already defeated.

"Behemoth!" Skulker shouted at the beast, who appeared to be moping. "I have come to best you in combat and take your treasure as my own!"

Behemoth licked its wounds pathetically. Upon closer inspection, its body was curled around a splintered wooden chest.

"You're too late," said Behemoth, in a voice like an earthquake, rumbling and indistinct. "I am beaten. My charge, stolen."

"Well, get up, and I will beat you again!" Skulker demanded. "I care not for your Skeleton Key!"

"Wait!" Phantom said, watching the miserable ghost as it nudged the broken chest with a massive paw and moaned like a volcanic eruption.

Skulker had told him that the skeleton key could open any lock in the Infinite Realms. Some may have sought it out for glory, like Skulker himself was, but with an artifact that useful it was entirely likely they had another reason.

"Who did this?" he asked Behemoth. "And why? Do you know?"

"I know not his name, but his purpose I do know," Behemoth rumbled. "He wishes to free the Ghost King, and steal the royal artifacts and thus the throne."

"The Ghost King?" Skulker blustered. "The Realms have no need of a king, and no ghost needs that kind of power either! It's absurd! What could he possibly hope to accomplish by releasing that tyrant? The risk is too high, and the rewards are paltry!"

"He claimed his goal was to extend his rule into the real world, once he becomes king," Behemoth answered dolefully. "He intends to make the human world a part of the Realms, and command humans as he would ghosts."

"What a fool," Skulker sneered. "I didn't come here for stories, Behemoth! Fight me!"

"I have no reason to fight," the beast refused.

"FIGHT!"

"No." Behemoth turned its back on them and curled into a ball with its tail over its eyes.

Skulker growled in frustration but nonetheless turned his back to leave.

"Fine," he snarled. "Come, whelp. There's no sport in hunting a creature without the will to fight."

Phantom spared Behemoth a concerned glance over his shoulder before following Skulker back out of the creature's lair.

"Skulker... should we... warn the others about this?" Phantom asked. "Whoever stole the Skeleton Key is clearly dangerous. We have to stop them from taking over the human world."

"Why?" Skulker asked, sounding genuinely confused. "There's nothing for us to worry about, at least, not unless he fails and we have to deal with Pariah Dark, but he beat Behemoth easily enough, so I'm sure it won't be an issue. His plans for the human world are no concern of ours."

When the two of them returned to their usual corner of the Zone, Phantom tried to warn the other ghosts, too.

"Someone's trying to become the new ghost king so he can take over the human world!"

"So what?" was usually the response. "What do we care?"

"Humans are the worst," Technus scoffed.

"They fear and despise us," Dora told him, very gently, as if explaining an obvious concept to a small child who'd never come across it before. "They treat us like garbage, or worse, like monsters. I say, let them suffer."

"We have no idea what the repercussions will be if this person tries to merge the human world and the Ghost Zone together," Phantom pointed out. "It could have huge consequences!"

"Oh no!" Ember responded mockingly. "Could we all die?"

"I don't know!" he shouted back. "No one knows! That's the problem!"

"Fear of the unknown is a very... human quality." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned.

"You tell me."

Phantom elected to shake his head and ignore her insinuations. "Look, I get it, you guys hate humans, but does that mean they all deserve to fall victim to some mad ghost trying to merge our two worlds into one? What about your families? Some of them are probably still alive. What about your descendants?"

"You're too soft on the humans," Ember sneered at him. "Some savior you are. What's the good in protecting your own kind if you also protect our enemies? You can't have both, Phantom."

He stilled, and tried not to panic. "I don't know what you're talking about," he responded in a measured voice.

She scoffed and scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. "Right, sure you don't. Just remember something, kid. You're either with us or against us. If you choose to help the humans, how can you even call yourself a ghost?"

"I... I am a ghost!" Phantom insisted. "This could have consequences for us, too! Whoever this is wants to release Pariah Dark!"

"Please, no one's that stupid," Technus snorted. "You must have misunderstood."

"Besides, the Ancients separated Pariah Dark from the royal artifacts when they defeated him," Dora pointed out. "Whoever it is can do whatever he wants to the humans, but we ghosts shouldn't have anything to worry about."

Everyone he spoke to had the same response. They either didn't believe him, or they didn't care. In the time he had left, Phantom told everyone he could about what this stranger was planning, to no avail.

All that time he'd spent worrying about their trust, and he now realized he should have been worried about their prejudice. What good was their trust, their faith in him, if they didn't care about what he was saying. They couldn't know―he couldn't tell them―that the people they so reviled were his people, as much as they were. It was like they'd forgotten that they'd all been human too, once.

As much as he wanted to convince them to take action, he also knew it was hopeless. Almost all of them had seen first-hand the awful way humans treated ghosts. He couldn't garner their sympathy for humanity when they had none to give.

Next Chapter

[blazehedgehog]

The Gradual Degradation of Fortnitemares

Getting to be so let down with Fortnite lately. Much like how people get excited for Scream Fortress, Fortnitemares used to be this incredible thing. All the houses on the map would get decorated with inflatable witches and pumpkins and ghosts. There were spooky graveyards to explore, all kinds of fun stuff

As Fortnite continued and they leaned more and more on the lore, the map got away from urban environments. Fewer houses means fewer decorations. And Fortnite started getting into a habit where chapters got shorter and shorter and shorter -- Chapter 1 was something like three or four years, Chapter 2 was two years or less, and Chapter 3 was almost one year on the nose, ending just after Fortnitemares in 2022. Dataminers suggest that Chapter 4 was also supposed to end after Fortnitemares 2023, but the new map isn't ready yet, so supposedly Epic is considering a tiny interim season just for December so they can take Christmas break in peace and worry about launching the new chapter when they get back. I think that's fair.

Going back to the urban environments -- Chapter 1 Fortnite was all about towns. Greasy Grove, Tomato Town, Pleasant Park, Retail Row, all of them were full of houses. Retail Row would even get a Halloween Store like the map's own personal Spirit Halloween that you could visit if you wanted to see all the Halloween decorations in one room. It also had multiple farms, and farms mean things like corn mazes and more.

Chapter 2 was, in every way, a better Fortnite. Everything was more organic feeling than the Chapter 1 map was. It felt less tile-based. And it still had plenty of towns -- notably, Pleasant Park and Retail Row carried forward, and close to one fourth the map was covered in a vast forest that could be kind of spooky even in the summer. Also, that Halloween store got an upgrade, moving to its own location -- the Halloween MegaStore, which not only housed TONS of decorations, but even displayed previews of Fortnitemares Skins. As Fortnitemares drew close, the entire map was enveloped in spooky, endless fog, showing off Unreal Engine 4's great volumetric lighting, and a special "Nightmare Royale" mode was enabled, where you respawned as ghosts that could terrorize the living.

Chapter 3's map was hard fantasy. Coastal settlements dominated by "The Seven", whose buildings were charitably described as "We have Star Wars at home." What urban environments it had were quickly destroyed -- not much reason to put up decorations in a demilitarized zone, after all. A house or two dotted around the map still featured the very rare Halloween decoration, but things were so dire that they straight up teleported a spooky farm into the middle of the map right before Fortnitemares just so they'd have something. Whereas Halloween would take over large portions of previous maps, the farm and the map's giant "reality tree" were the only places designated as Halloween-safe zones. Getting near them would enable a special vision mode that would suddenly make everything look dark and foggy, but 99% of the map remained un-spooky. It was, bar none, the worst Fortnitemares in the entire history of the game.

Chapter 4's big new feature was its modular map. Sort of like how they dropped a farm into Chapter 3, in Chapter 4, huge segments of the map changed from season to season. Cyberpunk cities just dropped out of the sky one day, as did Japanese pagodas, plus vast (and annoying) jungles dug up from underground. The map even launched with spooky castles built right in by default and maybe the biggest farm the game had ever seen. Even back in January, I was thinking, "this could make Fortnitemares awesome again."

Chapter 4 has been a mess. This Gamespot article talks about what a jumble it is -- and before you ask, yes, Fortnite does have a storyline. Or it used to. Chapter 4 was apparently planned out well in advance and then (as per rumors) the order of everything may have gotten mixed up as crossover plans shifted or were canceled entirely. Friends and I figured this was what also spoiled Fortnitemares 2022 -- a rumored Lady Gaga concert ultimately never materialized, despite the season's "spooky rave" motif. The suggestion now in 2023 was that Epic had apparently been banking on a Persona 5 crossover to launch season 2, and when they weren't allowed to use Joker, it threw all of Chapter 4 out the window with it. The game has spent the last 11 months spinning its wheels and under-delivering on map updates -- sure, each season sees massive changes, but Fortnite used to actually mean a Fort Night, with bi-weekly updates that would shift a dozen mini-stories forward bit by bit.

Chapter 4 does none of that. The map changes once every three and a half months and that's basically all you get outside the thinnest strands of MMO-style quest progression and an overarching narrative that has gone from "not really making much sense" to "beyond a waste of time."

So stop me if you know where I'm about to go with this: Chapter 4, Season 4 launched maybe a month ago, and as of a night or two ago, Fortnitemares 2023 officially began.

That big spooky castle? They dropped a tropical resort on top of it.

The biggest farm in Fortnite history? So far... untouched.

Halloween decorations? The most you get is a candy bowl sitting on a curb of some houses.

There are little bits of Halloween flavor -- the tropical resort is owned and operated by a Playboy Vampire (in the James Bond sense, not the porn sense). Since the launch of Nitemares 2023, he's vamped out, and you get a special shotgun that shoots wooden stakes. But he's also trivially easy to fight, even by the standards of Fortnite's usual PVE "boss" characters.

Nitemares staples like the Pumpkin Launcher and the Witch Broom have returned, though the Broom has less "returned" than been wholesale replaced with something that, to me, feels considerably more nerfed compared to the original item (it also doesn't make the cool sounds anymore).

And, like, it's early, yet. We could still just be getting started. Maybe the best is yet to come. Epic was apparently telling streamers that Fortnitemares this year was "going to be big." But I look at things right now and I feel the same underwhelming feeling I've had all of Chapter 4. And I look at the news lately that a lot of Epic people, guys like Donald Mustard, Sergiy Galyonkin, and one of Fortnite's chief artists, Drew Hill, have all left the company over the course of Chapter 4... plus the state Fortnite itself lately...

And it's starting to feel like there might be writing on the wall.

Over a year ago, half jokingly, a friend told me about his theory for the eternalization of Fortnite. Epic would probably never retire the game, but they would restructure its output so that new seasons would funnel into the game's growing Creative Mode, effectively turning it from a Battle Royale into their equivalent of Roblox. And the more time goes on, the more what he said is starting to feel right. Fortnitemares also features the game's newest UI refresh, which pushes creative maps right on to the main home screen in something that looks more like Amazon Prime Video than a video game.

Now, maybe more than at any point in history, Fortnite feels the most like The Product and not a game. One designed to take less resources to maintain and continue to generate some amount of infinite money.

I never expected the good times to last forever, but it's sobering to think Fortnite's best years may be long gone and never to return.

[bestdogauntever]

reading good omens for the first time to cope with season 2, so I thought I’d make a thread of some of my favorite quotes. hope you enjoy!!

“the Earth’s a Libra” (p. 14)

“Oh he (Crowley) did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think of was half as bad as the stuff they thought of themselves. Thet seemed to have a talent for it… They’ve got what we lack. They’ve got imagination. And electricity, of course. One of them had written it, hadn’t he… ‘Hell is empty and all the devils are here.’” (p. 43)

“You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that’s a good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That’s lunatic. No, said Azriaphale, it’s ineffable.” (p. 44)

“On the whole, neither he (Aziraphale) nor Crowley would have chosen each other’s company, but they were both men, or at least men-shaped creatures, of the world, and the Arrangement had worked to their advantage all this time. Besides, you grow accustomed to the only other face that had been around more or less consistently for six millennia.” (p. 49)

“As they drove past an astonished traffic warden his notebook spontaneously combusted, to Crowley’s amazement. “I’m pretty certain I didn’t mean to do that” he said. Aziraphale blushed. “That was me,” he said.” (p. 55)

“And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the Eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee? And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down somewhere, forget my own head next. And the Lord did not ask him again.” (p. 57)

“They’d come up with some stomach, churning idea that no demon could’ve thought of in a thousand years, so dark and mindless unpleasantness the only a fully functioning human brain could conceive, then shout ‘The Devil Made Me Do It’ and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn’t have to… Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.” (p. 99-100)

“‘Do you know, Aziraphale, that probably if a million human beings were asked to describe modern music, they wouldn’t use the term “be-bop”?’ said Crowley.” (p. 102)

“‘Thank you,’ said Anathema, icily. ‘Can we get on?’ said Crowley. ‘Goodnight, miss. Get in, angel.” Ah. Well, that explained it. She had been perfectly safe after all.” (p. 110)

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort. But he was intelligent, and it was an angelic intelligence which, why not being particularly higher than human intelligence, as much broader, it has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice.” (p. 194)

“But he’d (Aziraphale) known him (Crowley) for thousands of years. They got along. They nearly understood one another. He sometimes suspected they had for more in common with one another than with their respective superiors. They both liked the world, for one thing, rather than viewing it simply as the board on which the cosmic game of chess was being played.” (p. 284)

“It was even better than the candles ag creating ambulance. Ambulance was what mediuming was all about.” (p. 342)

[soconfusedwithmylife]

nahh my guy not the sickness. ive also had fever Twice in just the last week like how in the fuck. the weather is flip flopping here so much even during the day so my body's pretty much like

omg i love subnautica!! ive been playing that shit since early access its one of my favorite games! but!! you foole! you baffone! i just build my base in the safe shallows and farm pretty plants and collect eggs to hatch and live out my best aquatic farmer life. my life philosophy is that any game can be a domestic simulator if you try hard enough. also im even scared of the fucking gasopods and everytime i have to retrieve something from the aurora (its stupid decorative shit and they take multiple runs cause they take so much space even with two storage upgrades on my seamoth and i have to have All Of Them) i am SHITTING myself and trying stay on the surface which makes me seamoth look like a dolphin the way it keeps jumping in and out of water. like mfs out there speedrunning this shit meanwhile it takes me 10 hours just to leave grassy plateaus like please T-T one time i was on the laser island and saw a time capsule near shore and as i was trying to get to it a fucking warper stARTED TO WALK ON SAND TO GET TO ME. so anyways i deleted that save and downloaded a mod to make them extinct. anytime the game tries to spawn a warper the mod nopes it out of existence it feels me with a sick joy. omg i talked too much again hnnng sorry i hope these are not boring oh well you can always delete them

also that tomura and dabi bit is so out of the place did i send the ant message?? i remember writing it but i dont remember if i sent it or not, although if you just wanted to randomly declare tomura god mid sentence thats valid too and i also have an unhealthy habit of randomly declaring tomura god like old ladies with their religions

Dang 💀 we both got it rough rn. I hope you're feeling better though! And the weather where I am has been so cold, it's so nice after the heat of the summer. I wish it was winter all the time.

And SAME. I remember watching Markiplier play it during early release and getting it day 1 on my PS4. It's also one of my faves but God, does it give me bad anxiety 💀 anytime I'm not in the safe shallows, grassy plains, or the kelp forest, I'm jumping at every noise. I like to act like I'm a total beast going to the inactive lava zone and standing on top of the lava castle in my prawn suit but the moment I see a warper, I'm out of there. No thanks, nope, not for me 🪦 I also prefer the aquatic farming simulator. It brings me joy to build the alien containment and fill it with eggs. Especially cuddle fish. I also, prefer to have my base totally decked out to the 9's but I DESPISE reapers. If I had enough courage to kill them all, I would but I'm on console so no commands and I'm too scared to shank them to death. WARPERS. no cause explain why I had the EXACT same thing happen to me?!? I almost had a heart attack when I turned around and saw it eye to eye staring at me 💀 then one of those jumping crab things bit me and I turned off my PS4 in a panic and lost an hour worth of gameplay.

You are NEVER boring. I apologize for taking so long to reply. I've been very busy and bey sick but I really do love hearing from you. I could literally talk about Subnautica and below zero for hours. I love those games so much. And I'm so glad you love Subnautica too cause 😫😫 (I wonder if theres a text limit? Cause you said yours was long but mine is longEST)

Yeah that was about the ant message 💀 I didn't want to blow you up so I tried to answer in one. But yes, I have a small alter for both. I am but a pious follower of shigadabi-ism. Praise them 😩 (I'm not crazy, I swear 💀 I just like them an unhealthy amount)

[redoqs]

Good morning bestie! I’m choosing violence today

The Dimitrescu sisters all playing Mario Kart together. I feel like they’re all competitive asf and that’s going to end up with fights because who threw that fucking red shell?

Lord the castle is about to be in shambles

Now listen, the girls have been begging and begging and BEGGING Alcina to get them a Nintendo switch so they could play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (yes the deluxe matters) and finally they walk into a “gaming room” and find that their mother had set up the console up to a new tv she bought, aint she sweet🥰🥰🥰 she tells them to be nice and to not break anything.

“Yes mother🥰🥰🥰”

Alcina leaves and the moment she does this happens:

Cass: I call being player one!!!

Bela: no I’m player one! I’m literally oldest???

Cass: the fuck that got to do with me???

While Bela and Cass are fighting over who gets to be number one, Dani walks over to the console and is so mesmerized! She picks the handheld out of the dock and the screen goes black and now she’s panicking because shit! Did she break it!?!!?! She puts to console back in the doc and the screen comes back “oh it has to be in the thing for the picture to show up!” She unhooks the remotes, handing the red one to Bela and the blue one to Cass, connecting a green one. Bela cheers when she learns she gets to be player one

So now they’re choosing characters. Bela would choose Mario because she’s boring🙄 couldn’t even go with my boy Luigi. Cass chooses Bowers Jr. why not Bowers? Because that’s Alcina’s character and she’ll be damned if she chooses the same main as her mother (which is funny because Alci would main Daisy cmon🙄). Dani couldn’t pick between Yoshi and Toad and eventually she chooses Yoshi because look at his tongue! And the way he says YOSHI is so cute🥰 they pick their karts, turn everything to the most chaotic setting and they’re going!!!

Dani is already pissed because she held the accelerate button too long and ended up exploding in the beginning. Cass laughs at her as she takes her rightful place in first while Bela is concentrated in third. But cmon this is chaos settings and Dani gets a bullet and puts her all the way in second. Bela’s pissssssed because the bullet it her and made her fall off the track, putting her in eighth.

“DANI WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Dani just laughs as Bela tries to keep up. Cass was is still in first but that doesn’t last long because guess what? Dani is now in second and grabbed a green shell. She’s getting the shit ready waiting for Cass to line up and BLAM she fucking gets hit and Dani blazes past her.

“WHAT THE SHIT!?!? HOW DID I GET HIT WITH THE WORST SHELL!??????”

Bela is tryna catch up and she’s blazing. She gets an item box and gets the star and now she’s being a menace and hitting everybody she can and now she’s right behind Cass! She’s in the middle of a drift, her eyes set on the next item box but you know how people do that shit where they take more than one box? That’s what Cass does. She takes all of the item boxes.

“CASS YOU GREEDY BITCH WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?”

Cass responds by throwing fireballs behind her and now they’re on the third lap. Dani is cruising aint nothing about to stop her. Or so she thinks because someone in last place grabbed a blue shell and threw that shit with the quickness. Dani heard the familiar sound and she’s heart starts racing because SHO THREW THAT SHIT! She literally screams as she is hit and so many people pass her!!!!! Now she’s just in front of Bela and Cass and they’re all just competing to beat each other. Bela pulls up behind Cass and Dani just barely manages to stay in front as they cross the finish line

Dani: I WONNNN

Bela: You got fourth place

Dani: and you got sixth so whos the real winner here?

Cass: I would’ve won if you didn’t hit me with the bullet

Dani: you still would’ve lost to me. I almost had first but Bela threw that blue fuck shit

Bela: MEEEEE????? I DIDNT THROW THAT! THAT WAS CASS

Cass: WHOOO??????

Now all of them are bickering and the only way they can settle this is with a rematch. Lord knows how that’ll go

[lesbianator3000]

Hawthorne Traditions / headcanons

A few made up games, occurrences, and interactions. Particularly war.

Gingerbread Castle Siege: each person builds a castle/fortress only using gingerbread and candies; these are often huge. They’re also allowed to build candy weapons, defenses, and create gingerbread soldiers with different specialties. This lasts for the whole month of December. Beginning on December 12th, each brother is allotted a specific number of moves they’re allowed to take throughout the day: firing candy weapons, utilizing gingerbread soldiers, etc. However, they’re not allowed to rebuild/reinforce their castles. Whose kingdom can survive the war? They 100% form alliances, execute betrayals, barter weapons, and attempt to manipulate each other’s moves. Xander won one year by contracting Rebecca to listen carefully to what his brothers were saying/doing and relay the information to him. (Similar to that one game that got vetoed).

Snow plow: on skis, each brother charges at the others with shovels full of snow, ready to launch. There are feasible threats of burying alive.

You think they made normal snowmen? Normal snowforts? As if.

Snowball war: build your snow forts, stock your snow ammo, and hide a pine cone somewhere in your territory. Ceasefires, accidental alliances, and dirty tricks are commonplace. One year, Grayson made an impenetrable ice castle, but was still beaten by Jameson, who aggravatingly chose to build nothing, and instead just buried his pinecone deep near Grayson’s border.

Naked (or dressed only in underwear) snow runs as punishment are not unheard of.

They always wrap their gifts for each other in the incorrect shape.

At New Year’s, Tobias annually revealed the new house addition to them. Before they were allowed to use whatever was built, they had to solve an escape room puzzle within the new addition.

One year around Valentine’s, the brothers each possessed a (nonlethal) bow and arrows, and then played a Hawthorne version of senior assassins. There was a designated amount of times you could be struck. Grayson won.

Easter eggs are hidden inside the lower floor of Hawthorne House and through the land up to Wayback Cottage the night before Easter by the Laughlins. Upon finding an easter egg, they add it to their basket and then must bring it to a “safe storage” zone. If the eggs are not within that zone, the others can attempt to steal them. The goal is to get the most easter eggs by the end of the day. One year, Nash won by puppy-guarding the safety zone and tackling the (younger, considerably smaller) brothers before they stored their eggs, transferring their ownership (and consequently the points) to him. And yes— they do carry real eggs as ammo to throw at each other, because would it really be a Hawthorne tradition if projectiles weren’t somehow involved? There is a ceasefire at dinner because Nan orders them to be present.

They have, on more than one occasion, held mud fights after (or during) a heavy rain. Literal mudslinging.

Annual tennis tourney!

They used to rock skip at a body of water somewhere on their property. Yes, of course it was competitive. Grayson found the nonpareil skipping stone. Yes, war ensued— except it eventually moved inside. The brother in possession of the rock would hide it somewhere in their room, and the other brothers would have to make attempts to retrieve it. However, the crook cannot attempt to thieve the rock while the other brother is present. Booby traps were set. Impossible to reach places were reached. Boundaries were crossed. The new owner of the rock was gifted a week of peace to set up their hiding scheme before the search continued casually in the background of everyday life. Grayson once requested a security guard be constantly posted at his door; Jameson once hid it at the bottom of his dirty laundry bin. Although, the game essentially stagnated when Xander gained possession of the rock for the nth time, and nobody has been able to find it since. Xander refuses to tell his brothers its location, and with a grin, taunts them with fake considerations/bribe offers. Except, Xander doesn’t know where the rock is located either, because he lost it.

Nash took them camping once. It promptly ended after Jameson tried to scare Grayson by creeping around his tent at night. Grayson, trained in martial arts, went out to confront his brother, but was instead met by a bear— well, Jameson under a bear pelt. Grayson will say he wasn’t scared. Jameson remembers things differently.

At one vacation home surrounded by trees, the brothers all worked together to build a tree house, which, over the following visits, grew to a tree village.

Sandcastle building competition! The boys requested Skye be the judge because it gave them an excuse to interact with her. She’d casually stroll by the castles with some fruity alcoholic beverage and stylish sunglasses, judging their individual appeal. Jameson won after making a Skye themed castle, and Zara was promptly promoted to Skye’s role for the next time.

The boys used to join Skye on sea glass walks early in the morning. She made it a competition so that they would do all of the searching while she walked. The brothers scavenged for as many rare colors they could find.

They absolutely purchased one of those on-water floating obstacle courses and held their own modified triathlons.

Jameson and Grayson predictably end up vomiting from sun sickness at some point each summer.

Whenever Grayson wears a suit during the summer, Jameson will do his best to throw him into the pool, full clothed.

Tobias set up a buried treasure hunt for them on the beach once.

One time, there was a boat building competition and subsequent water race. Xander built a cannon into his (as there wasn’t a rule against it, since it was supposed to be a race, and he was quite the fan of loopholes), and it quickly ended.

Nash brings them out for Tex-Mex sometime during the summer.

They brought seashells they liked to Skye, soaking in her praise.

Zara always has a beach read. Jameson joins her.

While at a tropical beachfront home, Skye mentioned wanting coconut water once in passing. The young brothers returned later that night, scratched and bruised, but carrying a coconut.

Whenever they’re somewhere tropical, Xander always ends up befriending a wild parrot. Nobody knows why or how it happens.

They’ve been known to settle on-water disputes by condemning a brother or two to “walk the plank.”

If you asked the Hawthorne boys about botany, you would be shocked to discover their specific knowledge. One year, Mr. Laughlin gave Rebecca pumpkin seeds to grow in a garden behind Wayback Cottage. Soon, Alexander was helping her grow it to the largest size possible. The next year the other brothers joined. Eventually, they gave in to crafting pumpkin slingshots.

Around Halloween, they ordered a bunch of murder mystery kits to solve together. One year, they dedicated themselves wholly to solving Cain’s Jawbone (and are among some of the only people to ever solve it).

Occasionally Tobias Hawthorne turned Hawthorne House into a haunted mansion for the boys to explore only with flashlights. Xander quickly turned it into a ghostbusters rendition.

They buy multiple turkeys around Thanksgiving, and then essentially hold a wishbone breaking bracket tournament before dessert. The winner gets first dibs.

They briefly lost Jameson abroad once— or twice.

When Alisa was in law school, they faked trials pertaining to brotherly arguments for her to practice with. She helped settle many brotherly court cases. To this day, the brothers will occasionally call Alisa to “court.”

When they were younger, Nash would trick Jameson and Grayson into cleaning their playroom (wing?) by—yes, you guessed it—making it a competition. This trick worked up until a certain age.

Jameson loved hot wheels when he was younger, and built a track that spanned as much of the house as possible. He holds the world record for the longest hot wheels track.

Zara read them bedtime stories when they were young.

There’s a room in the house that holds a human-sized chess board.

Sword fighting just happens. Don’t interfere.

Xander built light sabers for fun. Light saber duels are often used to settle debates.

[carlisles-girl]

OMG UR CAIUS FIC WAS SO GOOD COULD YOU DO SOMETHING AB ARO PLEASE

a/n: Thank you so much! I’m very excited to write for Aro, he’s one of my favourite characters, more so because of Michael Sheen’s performance. I put a slight reference to something in this, you might catch it if you know other projects Michael Sheen has been in, but you might not, and that’s alright. Hope you enjoy <3

another a/n: I did put one or two feminine terms in this work, such as ‘mia regina’ which is ‘my queen’ in Italian, so do skip over it or replace it with something else if you’d like. I love writing this type of material in the middle of my classes, it adds so much adrenaline to not get caught.

-

Aro Volturi With A Human Mate

-

Instead of being angry and frustrated like Caius, Aro was more excited.

Like as if he was getting ready for a big party.

A human for a mate was inevitable for some vampires, of course, but Aro didn’t expect to be included in the some.

He was excited since it was rare for such high profile vampires to socialize with humans.

Aro often gushed to his brothers, excited to meet you, but also for them to meet you.

He wanted to host a ball for your welcome.

But Marcus noted that it would probably be slightly frightening for you to be in a room full of vampires.

Most of the vampires would look at you as if you were some sort of a snack.

Because it Marcus’ comment, Aro assumed it would be a greater choice to send an invitation to a tour of the castle.

Free of cost, of course.

When you had received the invitation, you were beyond excited.

An invitation to a tour of an ancient castle with endless legends, for free?

Absolutely.

The tour was the next day, so of course you were slightly nervous.

When the tour commenced, a very pretty woman named Heidi lead the tour group.

She began to speak of secrets of the castle, as well as secret corridors and legends.

Some things a normal tour guide would most likely have no idea about.

Heidi then looked in your direction, and smiled brightly at you.

“It’s very lovely here. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Just when she had finished her sentence, she opened the doors where there were three men sitting in thrones, and what seemed to be 4 guards.

The man who sat in the middle, greeted everyone and began speaking greatly of the castle.

He had only stopped when he motioned for your tour guide, Heidi, to come forward.

She did as told, and held her hand out towards him.

You would have thought it was to greet him, but it seemed like he was concentrated, or zoned out.

“Magnifico! I will get Demetri to escort them.” (Translation: “Magnificent! I will get Demetri to escort them.”

A man who you assumed was Demetri, walked in your direction.

“Come with me, all will be alright, rest assured. However, do not look behind you.”

You went with him, doing as he said, but immediately turned around when the rest of the tour began screaming.

“What the hell was that?!”

Demetri just grabbed your wrist and brought you upstairs.

“Just stay in here, I’ve been instructed to keep you under my eye. Aro will explain everything to you.”

“Aro?”

“The man who sat in the middle throne.”

You nodded, and decided to sit on one of the window seats.

You wanted to ask Demetri as many questions as you wanted to, but you didn’t want to bother him, or disrupt him from his job.

When the door had opened and Demetri bid his farewells, you had turned around and saw Aro.

“You must be Y/n, correct?”

“Yeah, and you’re Aro?”

“I am, I assume you have a good amount of questions?”

You nodded, and Aro moved swiftly but smoothly towards the opposite side of the window seat.

“May I?”

“Of course.”

He sat opposite to you, and smiled slightly at you.

“There’s no need to be afraid of me, or the others. You’re the most safe you could ever be in the castle. I promise you, I will keep you safe.”

“May I ask why the rest of the tourists were screaming when I left?”

“I sense that that question should be answered later, appropriately.”

You were slightly frightened as to what the final answer would be, it could be anything.

Perhaps there was a reenactment of the past after you had been escorted, one of the tourists got pushed and the rest screamed since one of them fell, or the worst:

They were murdered.

“I feel like I already know what happened.”

“I sense that you do know, too. I will tell you everything in a moment. But for now, would you care to lend me your hand?”

You trusted Aro, though you were positive your ancestors were screaming from above or below not to trust him.

You held your hand out in front of him, and before he held your hand in his own, he asked for permission or something else.

“I want you to think of the happiest memory you have stored in your mind, I will describe it to you. I will not see anything else besides the things you want to show me, unless I have your permission.”

You thought of a memory, and then placed your hand in Aro’s palm.

He covered the back of your hand with the palm of his other hand, then he began telling you small details of your chosen memories you had even forgotten about.

When he was finished, he brought his head up from looking down, and smiled at your face of bewilderment.

“That is so cool! Is that like your superhero power?”

Aro smiled widely at your interest in his gift, and began explaining what his was.

“I have a gift, it’s called tactile telepathy. I can read everyone’s thoughts and memories with a single touch. The others in this coven have multiple different gifts, they help keep us safe.”

“So you’re all like superheroes?”

“Vampires, darling.”

After that, Aro enjoyed seeing your memories whenever you two were apart for some sort of time.

Especially say you were having a difficult time attempting to explain something to him, he would hold your hand and immediately understand what you were trying to say.

“I understand you, cara mia. I always will.”

And he was right, he understands you in every way possible.

Aro memorized your body language on how you react to different things, as well as your facial expressions.

When you’re uncomfortable with something, he will do absolutely everything in his power to make you comfortable.

Aro will burn down the entire world for you.

When it’s time for you to go to sleep, you best believe that Aro set up the most lavish and comfortable room for you.

The best and most comfortable bed, of course.

You lay down on his chest, and he brushes the hair out of your face, admiring your tired eyes looking back at him.

“Would you like for me to read to you, dearest?”

You nodded your head, and Aro would get up from wherever he was seated, swiftly retrieve a book, lay back down next to you, and begin reading.

He loved having you hold his hand while he read, it lets him see what you’re imagining the scene that he’s reading to you.

And when you fell asleep while he was reading, he would be so very content.

You curled up next to him, sound asleep on his chest.

Aro adored seeing what you were dreaming.

He loved how humans brains worked while they were sleeping, keeping your mind entertained with multiple little scenarios.

When you woke up, however, Aro would prefer to have you describe your dreams, if you remembered them.

He loved to learn more about humans, especially in the modern age.

And you loved to learn more about vampires, especially in the ancient times.

Aro would often tell you stories of each coven he encountered, his old family and friends, and his past human life.

As much as he wants you to be changed into a vampire like the rest, he can’t help but smile whenever you got slightly nervous around him, stuttering over your words, and hiding your face with your hands out of embarrassment.

He pays attention to little details about you.

Especially your eyes.

Even the shade of your eyes stops him from changing you. Your eyes wouldn’t be as unique anymore, they’d be the same red as everyone else’s.

“You have the most magnificent shade of colour in your eyes, mia regina. I simply cannot get enough of them.”

Being absolute best friends with Demetri.

But wherever Demetri was, Felix wasn’t too far behind.

You three are like a troublemaker trio, always causing trouble and pulling pranks on different members of the guard.

Never Jane or Alec, though. Unless it was a scheduled board game night or something along the lines.

Which Alec loved to take away different players senses, allowing him to cheat in the games you’d play.

He doesn’t do it all the time, though.

Marcus was a lot more welcoming towards you, perhaps more than anyone else.

Whenever Aro couldn’t, he’d show you different areas of the castle you hadn’t seen yet, and would give you wonderful pieces of advice along the way.

“Remember to stay true to yourself, never let anyone think for you.”

Aro will spoil you insanely.

If you mention a specific piece of clothing even once, you better expect that when you wake up the next morning, Aro has an elegantly wrapped package placed at the foot of your bed with a note written in fine handwriting.

“Mia amato, I have seen you speak of this article of fabric, and I have gone out of my way to make sure you have every little thing you admire. I need you to be the happiest you can possibly be. Please accept my gift, and meet me by the gardens by noon. I’ll see you then. Cordialmente, Aro.”

You two have annual walks throughout the garden, usually during golden hour. The sun still above, but setting at the same time, making it seem like Aro was made of a trillion Tiffany Yellow Diamonds.

He loved finding a flower that suited your mood for the day, and putting it behind your ear.

“My beautiful.”

You two often walked either arm in arm, or hand in hand, but sometimes you would hold him closer with your arm wrapped around his waist, your head leaning on his side or shoulder.

Often times, when the moon is visible, you would slow dance together, looking at each other with smiles on your faces, just appreciating each other’s presence.

Usually, Aro would come back into the castle around 2 in the morning, carrying your sleeping self up to your shared room, after you had fallen asleep on his shoulder while sitting in the garden.

The rest of the kings and guards would be predominantly more happy than from before you had arrived.

You had given Aro something to look forward to after trials and mountains of work, something he didn’t have for hundreds of years.

Though, Caius was still slightly jealous of you.

You had practically stolen one, if the not the most, needed member of the vampire world. Aro was nearly as focused on you than he was on trials and legislature.

He’d warm up to you eventually.

At least, you hoped.

Speaking of trials, you wanted to sit in and watch the trials, to see what it was about, and how it worked.

You knew the most of it, of course, Aro had already told you. But you wanted to see it live.

Aro was quick to say no, he didn’t want you to get hurt, or worse, killed.

He understood what would happen to him if his mate was killed, Marcus was the example. He couldn’t even bear the thought of you not being by his side.

Though, you owning the key to his heart, convinced him to let you watch, letting both Jane and Alec stay on either side of you, protecting you if anything were to go wrong.

You would usually sit on Aro’s lap, and then the throne when he had to see what was truly going on by using his gift.

Jane usually stood on the left of the throne, and Alec on the right.

Mainly since Caius sat on the throne in the left, and Jane loved to torture the criminals.

He loved the front seat view.

Constant look backs of reassurance to make sure that you’re alright.

Nearly always having your hand in his.

Forehead kisses.

Constantly bringing the back of your hand up to his lips.

Getting the absolute best care in the world, health wise especially.

When Aro proposed, it was in the bedroom the both of you share, and he was reading some poetry to you.

All was going swell, and then he got to one page.

“I can write no stately poem

As a prelude to my lay;

From a poet to a poem

I would dare to say.

For if of these fallen petals

One to you seem fair

Love will waft it till it settles

On your hair.

And when wind and winter harden

All the loveless land.

It will whisper of the garden,

You will understand.”

At the end, you were leaned up closer to him, looking at him in awe.

He closed the book, and placed it aside gracefully, before leaning slightly closer to you. Placing his hands overs yours.

“Do you remember who wrote that, cara mia?”

“I do. That’s Oscar Wilde, right?”

“That’s right. There’s so much I want to say to you, especially in this particular moment, but I don’t think there’s enough words to express my love and affection towards you. I’ve known you for a little while, and I can feel the bond between us, and I know you can feel it, too. The universe has guided us together, and I am so very thankful for every second we have spent together, and I’m even more thankful for the rest of eternity we have. However, I am the most thankful of the fact that I have the most gorgeous human as a mate. I love you so much, anima mia. Will you do me the best thing that could ever happen to me in my thousands of years, and marry me?”

You said yes, obviously, who wouldn’t?

You leaned over to press your lips against his, as he held one side of your face with one hand, and the other hand slid a ring on your ring finger.

While Aro wanted an extremely lavish wedding, with all the diamonds in the world, you wanted something more of a homely essence.

So you compromised, and had a bit of both.

Aro invited nearly every vampire to the wedding, wanting to show you off in every way he could.

The Denali’s, Cullens, Irish coven, everyone was invited.

Except for the Romanian coven, Vladimir and Stefan. Not trusting them to be in your presence.

The wedding was held in the garden, the arch where Aro stood had your favourite flowers intertwining around it, with diamonds pressed in the centre of each individual flower.

Demetri walked you down the isle, smiling proudly when he handed you over to Aro.

Proud that his leader had finally found true love, and that one of his best friends is finally where they need to be.

After the official wedding ceremony, the rest of the night and day were spent smiling and showing off each other to the guests.

When the night ended, it was finally time for you to be changed to a vampire.

Aro sat by the bed were sitting on, making sure that you were absolutely ready to be converted to a vampire for the rest of eternity.

“Are you ready, my darling?”

You nodded your head, and Aro took one final look into your coloured eyes, attempting to remember every small detail of them.

Aro then moved your hair away from your neck, before placing his lips over where he would finally bite down and turn you immortal.

“Just say when, and I’ll see you after.”

[black-dragon1998]

Life at castle Dimitrescu

Summarry: reader (half-human/ half-demon) living at castle Dimitrescu. her interactions with the lady of the castle and her daughters. 

Autor note: I haven’t played through the whole game (Resident Evil Village) but I have played through castle Dimitrescu and know what happens to Alcina, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela. I am not going to follow the canon universe in my fics about RE8 unless specified otherwise. The Dimitrescu ladies deserved more.

Likes and comments are always welcome.

The sound of your heavy boots running over the marble floor almost drowned out the sound of the person chasing you. Unlike you, they weren’t running but still. Your chaser was catching up to you. In your head, you could imagine Lady Dimitrescu casually walking behind you, her tall frame allowing her to cover more distance. This all forced you to be smarter and hope to outsmart them.

In the main hall, you took 10 seconds break. Go up the stairs and to the bedroom halls or go via the courtyard to the music hall. Hearing the buzzing sound coming from upstairs made that decision for you. So you ran to the dining hall. It was winter so too cold for the girls to go outside so you only had to keep an eye out for Lady Dimitrescu outside.

Your heartbeat sped up the closer you got to the door. In your head, you had already reached the safe zone but you willed yourself to stay focused. From pasted experiences, you had learned not to get ahead of yourself when Lady Dimitrescu was involved in the game. The moment you wanted to open the door it opened, revealing Lady Dimitrescu making you stop in your tracks. falling on your ass and skiting forward.

“Well, well little one it seems I have cut off your escape route.” Alcina mocked with her signature wicked smirk. Not giving up just yet you scramble back onto your feet and try to get back to the main hall, hoping the girls had already moved on from the second floor. A hand clamped around your ankle as you reached the threshold, hoisting you up into the air upside down. You can’t help but frown that is forming on your face as Alcina lifts you to look at your face.

“we promised no powers, If I can’t shift then you guys can’t teleport.” Your frown had now turned into a full-blown pout. Alcina couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you were when you pouted. She wouldn’t admit it but she had developed a soft spot for you. Ever since Daniela brought you back to the castle after finding you in the town beaten and bloody. Her youngest daughter had chased away the Lycan that had hurt you before bringing you back. All four Dimitrescu women had became intrigued when they noticed your black blood and only hours after you entered the castle all your wounds were healed.

Almost a year had gone by since your first entered the big castle and over that time you had really warmed up to the Dimitrescu ladies. The girls liked to play hide and seek with you and when they learned you were half-human, half-demon they practically squealed. They didn’t have to be careful when they were playing. Sometimes Alcina joined you and the girls in your little games, but when she joined you always lost.

“no little one, you made that deal with my girls, not me.” Lady Dimitrescu says while letting go of your foot. You make an elegant turn so you land on your feet.

“and don’t think I wasn’t on to your little plan. Going through the courtyard where my girls can’t follow.” Alcina continued raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at you. Having no reply, that was your plan so you didn’t have a comeback so you stayed silent. Alcina took this as confirmation.

 Before the conversation could go on Daniela materializes into the room and latches onto you. Instinctively you pull her closer and drive up your body temperature, making sure she didn’t get cold, handy perk you could do. Bela, Cassandra and Daniela liked to snuggle up to you on cold nights like this.

“did mother find you?” Daniela asks to giggle just sounding a little too sweet. Knowing what it meant if you said yes.

“you already know the answer to that darling, she always manages to find me.” You replay while following lady Dimitrescu further inside, leading Daniela to the fireplace. She was feeling too cold for your liking and you wanted to warm her up.

The moment you sit down on the couch Infront of the fireplace Daniela was immediately on your lap. Bela manifested on your left and Cassandra on your right. Before either of them could strike you warned them.

“each gets one bite. Remember I do bite back.” Each of the girls gives you an affirmative sound before they take a chuck out of you. Bela bites into your arm, Cassandra does the same but on the other side. Daniela decides she wants a taste of your blood and sinks her fangs into your neck. After a few tugs, you give Daniela’s side a little pinch telling her to knock it off. Bela and Cassandra already retreated.

“I said one bite, Dani, not suck me dry.” You grumble as you pry her off your neck, Bela and Cassandra giggled among themselves. The only thing you caught was Cassandra’s reply to Bela.

“I think Dani would love for (Y/N) to take a piece out of her. They are always all over each other.” Cassandra giggles seeing your face heat up. Instead of denying anything Daniela just throws gasoline on the fire.

“they aren’t wrong, I do love it when you leave your marks on me,” Dani replies in her most sluttery voice she could muster, making your face flush and a couple of fires pop up around the room. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the sisters who couldn’t help but laugh at your expense. You wanted to be mad at them you did but at moments like this, they looked the most human and happy. So if it had to be at your expanse so be it.

 The night went on, with the sisters talking under themselves. Dani not leaving the spot on your lap. Lady Dimitrescu came checking on the four of you once in a while but mostly kept to her chambers. As a mother, she baskets in how happy her daughters and she admitted at least to herself that part of it was because of you and she was forever grateful for it.

 When they kept on teasing you, you threatened with tacking away their toys and forbid them from going into the village the moment it became warmer. Lady Dimitrescu herself had given you that privilege and the girls knew this. The threat alone made them stop.

You basket in the silence that emitted around you, knowing it wouldn’t last long. The girls were good at many things, staying quiet and sitting still wasn’t one of them. Only minutes later the sister started begging you if they could watch a movie on your laptop.

The only electronics meant for entertainment were in your chambers after you asked, begged Lady Dimitrescu to keep them. After that, the girls were hooked on Disney movies and occasionally one of them would ask to get them something. The only reason lady Dimitrescu allowed it was because it was the only activity the girls could do without bickering or fighting.

Even though the girls wanted to watch a movie. The moment you were all installed and sat down on the bed, the girls scattered around your bed. The moment it came to choosing they couldn’t decide. When the bickering became too loud you made the decision yourself and put on Beauty and the Beast. Relaxing into your cushions in the middle of the bed.

Bela was the first to notice it and stopped bickering with her sister to snuggle into your side. Daniela was next , she laid down on your other side and rested her head on your chest. Cassandra eventually laid down next to Bela and rested her head on your hip.

 That is how Alcina found you the next morning. She was happy with how affectionate you were with her daughters. Even though you and Daniela shared a lovers bond you never forgot Bela and Cassandra. You tried to give all three the same amount of attention and Alcina couldn’t be happier. Deciding to let the four of you sleep for a little while longer she retreated to her chamber letting the maids know not to disturb you.

[powdermelonkeg]

Hyrule Brochure: A Potential for BotW’s Future

Hyrule’s map in BotW is pretty sparse as far as cities go. Yes, it’s got more than any other Zelda game, but it also has like, 90% of its map being pure dead space.

So I decided to play around and make what I imagine Hyrule would look like, as far as cities go, if it were allowed to properly rebuild and not get totally wrecked by Ganon again.

Credit to Eragon2589 on DeviantArt for the free-to-use map icons. I love these little buttons so much.

So, these are the canon towns we get in BotW; Hateno, Lurelin, Tarrey, Zora’s Domain, Goron City, Korok Forest, Rito Village, Yiga Hideout, and Gerudo Town. I’m counting Yiga Hideout as a town because if the Yiga were a little nicer, it WOULD be marked one.

Adding the various stables on makes the place look MUCH less empty, but still; what can we do with this?

Well, I’ve spent the last several days locating all the significant ruins and landmarks, with one or two extra things thrown in, that I think would make this place much more populated.

Maps are free to use if you want them, btw. Have fun!

As a general rule of thumb, I want to make the towers and stables their own cities. The towers are a good landmark and beacon of safety, and the stables have all the building blocks to start building up a village.

If I’m particularly inspired, I’ll give some background on what the town is/does!

Starting off with the Rito! Their village has grown into a town, and the stable at its foothill is its own village now. I called it “fledgeling” because that’s where the Rito and Hylians would intermingle most, so the Rito aren’t exactly flying around here.

Beacon City is built around Tabantha Tower; the Rito have turned it into a sort of lighthouse, reflecting light off into the distance to help guide nighttime fliers home. Because of this, it’s a very popular stop for mail carriers, and where they go, development and cultural mixing follows.

Kaysa Town is built around Great Fairy Kaysa’s fountain; it’s a popular tourist attraction, and she gets plenty of offerings, so win-win!

For the Gorons, we’ve only got two more cities: Silversmith Village and Din’s Spire. Silversmith is built around the culture in the southern mines, and it has down-the-road access to the Goron Hot Springs. Din’s Spire is less of a town and more of a landmark, due to the sheer cliffs all around it, but the huge (and notably not in the burning death zone) hot spring lake makes it a popular rest stop for people on their way through.

I decided not to rebuild the northern mines; they’re pretty busted up and lava soaked, so my assumption is that they were abandoned either due to hazards or due to the ore being stripped out.

Korok Forest wouldn’t change much, besides the Royal Family declaring it a protected area. The Koroks don’t seem to have much interest in expansion, and they, as far as I know, don’t live in houses.

Gerudo Territory is MUCH more expansive than the others so far, and with good reason.

Gerudo Town itself is now Gerudo City, and the Kara Kara Bazaar has grown into a town. Canyon Stable has developed a village (mostly full of Gerudo husbands so they don’t have to travel a million miles just to see their families).

The Gerudo have control of one of the towers in their region, and the town built around it is Overlook Town. It mostly serves as a training grounds for young Gerudo warriors.

The City of the Seven developed when the Seven Heroine statues were recovered and restored; the town around them was built to honor them, and then it got a LOT of foot traffic from those wanting to see the legendary statues.

Tera Town rose up much in the same way Kaysa Town did up in Rito territory, centered around the Great Fairy Fountain.

Mesa Village and West Gerudo Town are both smaller Gerudo settlements; West Gerudo sprung up out of access to snowmelt from the Gerudo Highlands, and Mesa Village, because of its relative safety from Molduga and access to oasis water.

Finally, Gerudo Valley, in reference to Ocarina of Time. This town is a Gerudo-only zone, and is more a fortress than a town. It exists both to keep an eye on the Yiga and to gain control of the mountain pass, making people go through Canyon Village to get to Gerudo instead of avoiding Gerudo customs.

Speaking of the Yiga, they’ve taken two new spots for themselves; Gerudo Tower, which they’ve renamed Kohga Tower in honor of their late Master, and Banana Labyrinth, which serves as their highest security area. Imagine if you’d had to go through the LABYRINTH to get the Thunder Helm back.

Up next we’ve got the Zora. Truthfully, their territory spans as long as Zora river and WELL into the ocean, but these are the only cities that, technically, a Hylian with adequate gear can enter.

Mipha’s Landing is an above-water city built expressly for doing trade. It got its name from the late Mipha; since the tower reaches up into the sky, it was hoped that someday, her spirit would sit atop it for a rest and see all that her people had been able to do thanks to her sacrifice.

Lakebed Village is in Lake Hylia, and it’s actually a slowly-repopulating Lakebed Temple, from Twilight Princess. Meanwhile, Great Bay City is a port town above water and an aquatic metropolis below, full of music and dance and exotic wares.

And finally, Hylians.

Hoo boy.

I’ve split this up region by region but

THIS is how many living spots they’ve got.

Silver stars indicate military towns. Red stars indicate military outposts.

I USE THE TERM MILITARY VERY LOOSELY HERE. Hyrule, since it doesn’t interact with its neighbors, only has the Yiga and the various monsters to fight against. Anything labeled “military” means that it’s staffed by royal employ, meaning knights and Sheikah and the like.

Let’s start with Akkala. The northeast labyrinth has been converted into an emergency bunker, in case Calamity strikes and people need a safe place to hide. Not only is it difficult to break into, it also has a completely empty lower level that’s PERFECT for long-term seige.

City Tempest got its name for being near-constantly wracked by storms. Despite this, though, it remains a popular vacation spot for people who don’t mind a little rain; the Skull Lake and the giant flowers are worth it.

Valley Town rose up out of both East Akkala Stable and Robbie’s workshop. It doesn’t get too much foot traffic, but it doesn’t really need to.

Midna Village, I built where the ruins of Shadow Hamlet are. I figured it was a fitting name, and the area is almost constantly covered in the shadow of Death Mountain.

Four Brothers’ Base is a knight outpost that’s up extremely high, spanning huge bridges between the four Tingle isles.

Then Parapa Palace, in reference to Zelda II: Adventure of Link, was built in place of the Akkala Citadel and functions as a mini Hyrule Castle + Castle Town. In real life, monarchs would have several palaces to go between, kind of like how well-off people nowadays would have a summer home. So, I followed that trend! This is Zel’s summer palace.

And you guys know what Tarrey Town is. Although interestingly, as it expands, it goes vertical into the stone column it was built on.

Onto Central Hyrule.

Camp Rauru is training camp and lodging for new knights. Rebonae Village and Kasuto City were made out of the Wetland and Riverside stables respectively, though Kasuto (also an Adventure of Link reference) gets substantially more foot traffic due to being on the way from Castle Town to Dueling Peaks.

Outset Town got its name, lore-wise, from the fact that it’s the first bit of land Link from BotW visited after leaving the Great Plateau, and meta-wise, because it’s the starting point for Wind Waker Link.

Aquame City surrounds the Coliseum, which is how it grew to be so popular. The grand stage holds sparring matches and various other shows regularly, and it’s a pleasant boat trip from Castle Town to get there.

Saria Town was built out of the old exchange ruins, and it’s in walking distance of the ruined Sage Temple—which, at this point in time, would have been rebuilt—and its existence is both an AoL reference and an OoT one (but mostly AoL, I’ve kind of fallen in love with its map).

New Mabe is where you can find the new Lon Lon Ranch! The ruins there are actually called the Mabe Town Ruins in game, and they’re right by the Ranch Ruins!

Eldin’s pretty sparse as far as Hylian towns go. It’s got Gut Check Camp, where Sheikah train for endurance and elemental resistance, and Windfall Town, a place that sees a LOT of gemstones pass through, freshly mined. That includes rupee ore, mind you!

Faron Province is a little more spaced out, due to the nature of the region. Lurelin’s grown since BotW, becoming a trading bay; meanwhile Cora Lake’s Sheikah Tower has expanded into Parache Town, and the Highland Stable has become Malanya Village. Both of those locations are VERY fond of horses, and they’re a bit competitive, especially during archery season.

Ordona Hamlet is a tiny village tucked away into the middle of Faron. It came about due to the Lakeside Stable, and it’s named that because I am STILL salty that the Zeldevs didn’t put an Ordon Village reference in the game.

Eventide Outpost is more of a testing ground for boats than anything particularly significant, population-wise. The even tides that gave the isle its name make it an ideal location to work out the kinks in new watercraft (and occasionally, the lieutenant in charge of that base demonstrates how to launch a raft into the sky with octo balloons).

Hebra’s the most militarized area of Hyrule, and ideally, it functions as a reserve of men and tech in case Calamity rises again. If there’s anything that BotW’s era learned, it’s to never underprepare for Gann’s return.

Fort Lomei is a converted base, just like the Banana Labyrinth is to the Yiga. This one, though, is patrolled diligently by knights who use daily-changing codes, and it’s impossible to navigate without the locals’ help.

Fort Pikida is situated in that weird stone cavern-y area, and it’s a supply stach and Hebran monster patrol site. It’s the soldiers there’s job to make sure that the Lynels that like to roam the region don’t get too close to residential areas.

Hia Miu Outpost is a training spot for knights sent to the Hebra region; any new soldier to the area has to prove they can handle themselves by going into the Hia Miu shrine and taking on the Major Test of Strength Trial. (Fun fact, did you know that the X-test-of-strength trials reset themselves every blood moon?)

Snowpeak Fortress exists both because it makes a fantastic secondary base for the Hyrulean royals to plan, and because i am once again salty about the lack of Twilight Princess in this game.

Sturnida Resort is built around hot springs! It’s a nice spot for people living around Rito Town and Fledgling Village to take a vacation without having to trek all the way across the country to do it.

Snowfield City came from Snowfield Stable, and it’s the Windfall of Hebra; it sees a LOT of people coming in and out of the region, and the view of the northern lights you can get from there? You’d be hard-pressed to find a Hylian that didn’t have it on their bucket list.

New Tabantha was built on the ruined spot of the original Tabantha Village; you can visit there in-game! It’s a quiet town that raises highland sheep for a living, and its team won the Hebran Triathlon three whole years in a row.

Then, the Tanagar Restricted Zone. If you’ve ever been there, you know EXACTLY why it’s restricted.

Most of the Guardians inside have been dealt with, but the ruined temple remains a hazard testing ground for new tech. It’s off limits to everyone but those with the HIGHEST clearance; I’m talking a direct letter from Zelda herself.

The Thyphlo Secret Camp is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a place for Hyrulean lieutenants to meet for top-secret missions, and it’s one of those places that you need to be SERIOUSLY high rank to even KNOW about.

Over on the edge of Lanayru, we’ve got New Goponga, built where the old Goponga ruins are, and the Crenel Garrison. The Garrison was built to take care of the Lizalfos problems in the waterways, keeping it safe for Hylians and Zora travelers alike. Goponga, on the other hand, is what Lurelin was in game; nice, friendly, and centered around fishery.

In Necluda, we’ve got New Deya where old Deya was ruined (I think BotW Link was born in old Deya!), Watchtower Village built around the lakeside of the Dueling Peaks tower, and then Dueling Peaks City, a HUGE trade hub that was once the Dueling Peaks stable.

Kakariko Village is now a Town, Hateno has grown into a full blown trade harbor, and a tiny village has started to form around the Hateno Tower, making Firly Overlook.

But what I most love is the City of Hylanay.

Back in the game, it was the ruins of the Lanayru Promenade. So I had the promenade rebuilt, then people moved in around it, and now, Hylanay’s basically Hyrulean Venice! I want to visit it.

On the Great Plateau, we’ve got Aboda Town, named after Spirit Tracks’ Aboda Village in reference to the starting point in each game. This Town has access to the original Temple of Time, but because of the nature of the isolated plateau, it doesn’t see a lot of new faces often.

Over around Thundra, we’ve got Tanagar Village overlooking the canyon, built out of the old Tabantha Stable. The village actually builds downwards into the canyon; people have windows carved right out of the cliff face!

Thundra Village is built into the rocky slopes surrounding Thundra Plateau and the Ridgeland Tower. Their houses are built in the shelter of the giant mushroom things that grow so well in the area, and they’re famous for their signature dish of escargot.

The Serenne Exchange is up north, encompassing both the old Serenne Stable and the Maritta exchange ruins. You can buy practically ANYTHING there; if ever there was a supermarket in Hyrule, it would be right there.

The Royal Lab was rebuilt out of its ruins post Calamity, and it’s directed by Purah, who still hasn’t cured her immortality yet. It’s not uncommon to hear explosions as you pass by that place.

And then Camp Rutile is a small observational outpost, meant to keep track of the activity on Satori Mountain. Supposedly, the mountain’s health reflects the state of the rest of the kingdom, so the researchers assigned there are tasked with monitoring it EXTREMELY closely.

And Hyrule Castle. It’s Hyrule Castle.

Now completely bolted into the ground! :D

If we put all these locations together, we get a very nice, very well populated Hyrule, with LOTS to see. This is how I would design the future of BotW’s Hyrule.

Thanks for reading!

[moxfirefly]

Maybe a story or head canon list of Heisenberg with a daughter? Like father and daughter bonding. The daughter getting his ability with metal but is super sweet and playful. I have a lot of stuff to go with this, if you wanna message me about more of this go ahead :)

My time has come to unleash dad!Karl on y’all. Hope you don’t mind a headcanon list (it’s easier right now for me)

Listen for sure he’s gonna have some hang ups about being a dad and while he may not be the best camper at first, boy does he do a 180 when that kid is in his arms.

Karl isn’t a silly person by nature. Eccentric? Yes. Boastful? Absolutely. A showmen? You bet your ass he is. But being a dad for sure will unlock a part of him he probably never got to indulge in. Be playful and silly.

Yes he will stop whatever and play a round of I Spy. You wanna play some convoluted patty cake like game? He’ll listen, he’ll fuck up, he’ll learn it. Hide and Go Seek at the Dimitrescu castle? Fine it’s a wonderful opportunity to hopefully steal or break some of Alcina’s shit anyways.

That kid has basically unlocked his or hers own personal toy store. Karl will make ANYTHING and what he can’t make he’ll either get Duke on it or in the village. Big on gift giving, just wow, it’s Tuesday the baby deserves a new train set so what?

Forget about you having to hold that baby for more than 10 minutes. Karl hogs that kid as much as he hogs the blankets. He will create, design, fix etc all while that kid is on his lap or on his hip.

He’s got a confidant now. Do not be surprised to find him having a whole ass conversation with that kid. I’m talking running ideas and very difficult schematics by her or him.

Showing her some designs for soldats like “what if I put a jet pack on this son of a bitch? That would pretty stinking genius of me, huh?” And that baby will just be drooling and giggly all the way. He takes the giggles as a yes.

Wants to show off his kid but for sure is the parent that doesn’t want anyone to hold the kid.

Except Donna, he’s kinda soft on her, but it’s supervised and Angie needs to back the fuck up.

FYI he commissions Donna for the dolls.

He triple checks they are JUST dolls.

Lord almighty that kid is doomed when they grow up. Nobody and nothing is worthy of that kid. The first second some lad tries to talk to them, Karl’s gonna glaring daggers.

Goes without saying, he will teach her or him to fight. How to deliver a proper punch is important.

If the kid has inherited his powers oh looooooord

Takes her or him out the junk field and just goes ham on teaching them how to use their powers. Expect a fun evening of watch your child throw giant metal scraps across the front yard while dad celebrates like a fucking mad man.

Once this kid is old enough he teaches them the entire layout of the Factory. Safe zones, danger zones, emergency exits, secret exits. Haulers and Soldats are programmed now to defend this kid with everything they’ve got.

Afternoon naps 🥺

Karl’s sleep schedule is garbage but man does this kid know how to persuade him to slow the fuck down better than you ever could. So if baby falls a sleep on him he does everything to not wake baby which means he might as well get some shut eye.

He never thought he’d have a little rug rat so invested in wanting to brush and braid his hair so much!

And want to have so many imaginary tea parties

She colors his designs. Sturm is now pink by the looks of it and instead of propellors he has sun flowers, well alright but it’s impractical he thinks.

All the haulers have names (they are the slowest and often times enjoys watching them go about)

“Papa, Winston is stuck again and Geoffrey fell down” and Karl will blink and well ok, off to fix Winston and RIP Geoffrey it is.

Honestly that kid is the god damn sun for him. The brightest little spot in his life. From absolute fear to just pure fucking enchantment. It’s more cause to fight and get her out to really have a good life.

[theladyismyshepard]

37 kill for Daniela the red head, She kills one of the servents because of jealousy but the maiden is into it?? Maybe kinda nsfw

Sorry for the wait, my friend

I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me (NSFW)

TW: Violence

The sun was beating down on your back as you tended to the garden that you grew in the back courtyard. You had appealed to the Dimitrescus the benefits of planting your own vegetables and fruits and possibly the occasional pretty flower here or there. The Lady seemed uninterested in the thought altogether, making it clear that her mind was reserved for more stimulating subjects. Bela seemed halfhearted with her thoughtfulness, quickly zoning out. Cassandra had rolled her eyes and walked away after the word “garden”. Daniela was smiling though, her eyes glittery before she nodded along almost vehemently.

“I agree,” she said unabashed, ignoring her mother’s arched brow and Bela’s scoff. “Think of the ingredients we could grow ourselves instead of sending for delivery every other week.”

“Daniela, dear,” started Alcina, sighing almost exasperatedly, “Do you plan on going out and tending to this “garden”, hmm?”

You wanted to interject, it was the perfect moment to take responsibility for the care of the garden, and possibly even the grounds just to improve your worth around the castle. Yet, it required a lack in manners to interrupt a Lady when she’s speaking, and Alcina had a severe standard when it came to manners. And so you were forced to go with the smart move and bite your tongue as Daniela’s face dropped. That didn’t stop you from attempting to gain eye contact to give her a beseeching look.

“I’m sure we can find someone.” insisted Daniela, her eyes cutting to you before snapping back to her mother. “Someone very dependable,”

“I can do it,” you piped up, taking the opportunity, eyes dropping to the floor once Alcina’s gaze fell onto you.

“The question is will you,” drawled Alcina, eyes narrow as they looked you up and down. “As in, will I allow a human thing as yourself to control anything that is mine?”

You would have fell to your knees beneath the weight of the Lady’s attention had it not been for a certain redhead to stepped closer to you. You wanted to grab her hand, pull her close, wrap yourself around her for comfort, but you don’t. You never act on it, and she never dragged you to her bedroom cackling and giggling wildly as she did with other maids when she needed to get off. Though you were also the only one who didn’t emerge scarred and torn up.

“Of course, my Lady,” you conceded, bowing your head to show a sign of submission.

“Mother,” said Bela quietly, calmly interjecting, and waited until Alcina turned to address her. “I also think that a garden would be beneficial.”

Daniela had clapped happily when she realized her sister was aiding her in swaying their mother. Your eyes couldn’t settle between the three of the Dimitrescus. Alcina cocked her head to the side, adopting a fake look of thoughtfulness to cover how unimpressed she was.

“Oh, you do, darling?”

“Yes,” pressed Bela before her mother could continue on. “Imagine the access to ingredients for remedies to give the livestock. We could even grow foreign plants required for different potions!”

Fuck the fruits and vegetables, I guess.

And that was how the Lady was worn down and forced to give into her daughters desires. The garden didn’t necessarily consist of the produces that you originally planned for, but it got you out of the castle for extended points of time, and you weren’t complaining one bit. Castle Dimitrescu was a rather large estate, so there was plenty of room for the several varieties of roots, plants, and flowers that the Dimitrescus requested you take care of.

The heat of the sun had you pulling at the hem of your shirt to bring it up and wipe the sweat from your brow. The warm breeze hit you squarely on your exposed midsection, and you felt the dripping sweat drying grossly against your flesh. It felt as though eyes were upon you and when you let go of your shirt, ready to turn to check the windows of the castle, a person standing next to you nearly had you jumping out of your skin.

“Oh!” gasped the woman — a maid, “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s alright,” you assured, breathless and attempting to return your heart rate back to normal. “What’re you doing out here?”

Being outside was a luxury that none of the other maids could afford, so you were confused as to how this maid, Elle, had managed to avoid the lingering eyes that were everywhere. Her eyes averted as a slight blush came to her cheeks, and that’s when you saw the glass of water in her hand and your brain put two and two together. Oh.

“It’s hot today,” said Elle nonchalantly, even shrugging. “I figured you might need this.”

“Thank you,” you replied earnestly, grabbing the glass and taking greedy sips before you handed it back. “I appreciate it.”

“Well, I can’t have you fainting and bringing attention to yourself, now can I?” joked Elle, smiling bashfully.

You could’ve sworn that eyes were upon you, and you even went as far as to turn and check the windows, and while you thought you saw one of the curtains shifting, it also could’ve been a trick on your eyes. You furrowed your brow but turned back to Elle, who was looking at you expectantly, and for what, you weren’t sure. You smiled warmly.

“Thank you again, Elle, but I don’t want to hold you up any longer than I have.” You warned, making a face to emphasize, and she nodded in disappointment but reached forward to squeeze your hand.

“Stay safe,” she said, the maids’ usual words of departure.

“Stay safe,”

Eyes were watching you, but you couldn’t see from where, and that was the most dangerous predator: the one who hides before striking, and there was one predator who always had her watchful eye on you. Daniela. You gulped at the thought of Daniela catching another maid outside just to talk to you... no one, not even you were allowed to bend any of the rules, not even once... not when you were so easily replaced. Hopefully if you just went back to attending to the garden (rather stiffly), you could pretend that nothing would be amiss when you went back inside.

***

There was tension hanging in the air, thick enough to choke, and it had your spine as straight as a rod as you trudged through the pristine castle with your overall dirtiness, your shoes abandoned at the door. It was oddly quiet, and when the maids spotted you, they turned away quick, eyes wide with fright. Every step you took towards any of them, the maids took about six or seven steps away from you. Castle Dimitrescu might’ve been weird, but that was a new one...

You gave up on making conversation and instead wandered off to find a clean uniform to change out of the more comfortable wear you wore to tend to the ingredients. There was the nagging feeling that something was off in the air... Where were the Lady’s daughters? Their signature cackles failed to echo off the walls, and it left an uneasy silence in its wake. Now that you thought about it, you weren’t running into Elle either as you wandered deeper into the castle and found the maids’ quarters.

You quickly changed and made yourself presentable for your next task, and then you were again walking through the silent halls as you made your way to the kitchen. There was no real warmth to the kitchen, not when the stove had gone untouched for as long as you had been there. It wasn’t your place to question things around there, but you couldn’t help but to ask questions when you stepped inside and there was a silver platter with the cover still hiding what was underneath. What had you puzzled was the note that simply read your name propped right up against the cover.

You craned your neck when you felt eyes upon you yet again, but nobody was there... you knew better though and that’s what had needles prickling your skin and a cold sweat to break out. All that was missing was the giggling, but this really seemed like one of Daniela’s games she enjoyed playing. You turned back to the platter, and reached for the handle of the lid. After a shaky moment of building yourself up, you ripped the cover off like a bandaid, and froze, arm still raised.

Placed neatly upon the silver platter was Elle’s severed head. Her eyes were closed, and for that, you were grateful... you were too ashamed to look her in the eye seeing as this was all your fault. As your breathing hollowed out, that was when you finally heard a deep chuckle, one that had you going rigid... this wasn’t the Daniela that you had gotten used to, but it was one you were aware she could possess. Was she directing it towards you? You dropped the lid with a clatter.

“I didn’t like her very much.” said Daniela simply, and you gulped. “She liked you too much.”

You couldn’t miss the edge in her voice on the word. You finally blinked (your eyes suddenly burned) and looked away from the platter to connect eyes with the redhead. She wasn’t smiling and that was never a good sign. You forced a smile, one that you were scared was too obviously false.

“I didn’t like her either.” You choked out, fully turning your body away.

“You didn’t?” asked Daniela, her voice suddenly small and seeking reassurance, and you were struggling to keep up with her complete 180.

“Daniela...” You couldn’t say what you really wanted to... She was just bringing me water! “Why does it really matter to you so much?”

“Because you are mine!” She snapped, and you frowned.

“Doesn’t every maid here belong to you?” You countered, though you had to admit, you have more leeway than others did.

“They belong to the family, but you, you are mine, darling.” purred Daniela, stalking forward very slowly until she was before you. “No one else can even look at you the way I do.”

“But the other maids that you’ve...” You cringed, unwilling to finish, but Daniela picked up on what you were trying to say.

“I feed from them and that is all... Getting them a little scared makes the blood just a bit sweeter.” chuckled Daniela, and you frowned yet again.

“I thought you-”

“Slept with them?” Daniela drawled, now it was her turn to frown at you. “As tempting as it was, I think there’s one delicacy that I’m saving my pallet for.”

Her eyes roamed over your body with no holds barred, and you weren’t sure how you felt about the shiver that tingled down your spine. The fact that there was a severed head behind you was kinda throwing you for a loop. Daniela had her index finger and her middle finger tiptoeing up your arm until she was gingerly holding the side of your neck with obvious care. You gazed into her eyes and you were thoroughly entranced by the red headed beauty that would kill for you.

“Do you love me?” You whispered, almost afraid that what you were asking was a stupid question. Daniela’s face softened.

“I absolutely adore you, my love,” cooed Daniela, pulling you into a searing kiss that had your heart stuttering in your chest, and when the need for air had you pulling back, she already had her eyes open and watching you. “No one can take you away from me.”

Any sane person would hear the threat for what it really was, but there was nothing sane about the feelings she evoked from you just by being near you, even with Elle’s head served up right beside you. There was something about her possessiveness that could make you either feel very secured, or somewhat aroused, and you could hardly think of anything else but the fingers scratching at the hair at the base of your neck.

“I doubt anyone would be capable of taking me away from you.” You mused, and it was true. Bless the soul who tried to free you from the clutches of Daniela.

“Hm,” she hummed, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully as her eyes cut over every inch of your face. “Perhaps I should leave my mark for all to see?”

What surprised you the most was it seemed as though she was genuinely asking you. Her hand was still scratching the back of your neck, and her free hand reached up to rub soothing circles along your jugular with the pad of her thumb. Daniela’s compulsive attitude can lead her to doing whatever the hell she wanted without fear, but here she was, asking for your permission to drink from you. This redhead never failed to be full of surprises, and you found that you kinda liked that Daniela was so crazy for you.

“I belong to you,” You said quietly, unwilling to break the atmosphere that was enveloping the two of you, and you knew you said the right thing when her eyes shone with nothing but adoration and if you looked closer, love.

Daniela continued to cup the back of your neck with one hand, and used the other to hold you carefully by your shoulder, and she gently guided you to expose your throat just a bit more before she slowly bit into your throat. You gasped at the initial sting of your flesh giving way beneath the power of her teeth, but you allowed her to continue what she needed to do and permitted the subtle pull at your bloodstream. You felt the vibration of her own moan against your skin and it had you lightheaded.

“Daniela,” you groaned, feeling her teeth still inside of your skin with every syllable, and it also felt good when the hand on your shoulder rubbed down your arm and up your back.

“Does that feel good, darling?” pressed Daniela, unlatching just long enough to pull back and bat her eyelashes at you. “Do you love this as much as I do?”

Her tongue flattened against your bite mark, cleaning you of any trickling blood before she moved to the opposite side. She placed an open mouthed kiss there before she latched on once more, prompting your whole body to flinch within her grasp, but trust Daniela to hold on tight. It felt as though there would be a couple bruises by the time the next morning rolled around, but something told you that was a good thing to have within Castle Dimitrescu. It was like your own charm to ward off the evil that could lurk around the many hidden corridors.

You felt her pushing you back up against the table, and your foot brushed against the lid, causing it to scratch against the floor with an unflattering sound. The small of your back connected with the table, leaving you no more room to go backwards. Your hands flew to the edge as you used the table as support as Daniela basically leaned her full weight into you as she fed and marked you.

Your eyes flew open when she abruptly pulled away, her chin smeared with your blood and her eyes crazed with desire, but also soft with emotion and it was directed right at you. She never broke eye contact as she slowly dropped to her knees before you, and your breathing became irregular as she reached forward to push the end of your uniform up higher and higher until you had to shiver at how exposed you felt.

“Do you love me?” asked Daniela suddenly, bringing your wandering mind to a complete halt, and you looked down into her wide, almost innocent eyes as she stared earnestly up at you. “I never heard you say it to me.”

“I love you more than life itself,” You responded and you were surprised at just how honest it felt... You could die tomorrow and you’d have felt content enough to just allow it.

Daniela’s megawatt grin was so wide that you knew there was no way of it coming off anytime soon, not with the pure happiness radiating from it, and certainly not with the way it reached itself to her eyes. She giggled madly and soon it was the only indication of her because she disappeared beneath the skirt of your uniform and you jumped at the warm tongue that was persistent in searching your body. Your knuckles turned white as your grip on the table tightened and you lost yourself to the wetness of Daniela’s tongue on you, and you found that it was true...

No one could ever steal you away from the perfection that was Daniela. Not when she was the only one that could turn you on with a familiar severed head just inches away..

[beevean]

@spinningbuster98​

I don’t really know what to think of Order of Ecclesia overall. It took me until near the end of the game to understand where my grievances came from and why I suddenly stopped to have them. It seems to be a rather 50/50 game: half meh, half great... in this order.

How to make a reference to an unpopular mechanic of an unpopular game exquisitely badass :’)

The structure feels simplified, compared to PoR, SoTN and even AoS, which makes me think that at the time fans were getting bored with the Metroidvania style. There are many maps, but most of them are rather small, with the barest amount of secrets and rarely an incentive to go back. The locations aren’t even interconnected: if you exit an area, you can select where to go next, which is much more convenient than a big castle full of teleporters but also de-Metroidvania-fies the experience. The game also outright tells you that it unlocked a “new” area to visit, or even worse re-visit, cutting down the process of exploration that reached a comfortable level in PoR.

Probably the most Metroidvania moment was in the Kalidus Channel: at first Shanoa can only swim on the surface, so you can only go from left to right, but then she learns how to swim in deep waters and you can explore the entire area, which is much bigger than it first seemed. That’s cool! But it’s just one of the few examples. And as I mentioned above, when I got the Serpent Scale I was like “ah-ha! I know where to use it!”, but then I exited the area... and the map placed a neon sign on the Channel, invalidating my realization. C’mon, way to make me feel stupid :\

I was hoping that the game would be similar to SoTN in the sense of being strictly railroaded at first until a certain point where the maps open up for you - and I thought that getting the Ordinary Rock would be that point. After getting it, the game wants you to go to Somnus Reef... but nothing is stopping you from exploring the second part of Tymeo Mountains, which you couldn’t access to before. Finally, some Metroidvania :P it’s very short lived, though, as not long after that you’re railroaded again. Shame.

“But Bee, you love Metroid Fusion which is also a linear Metroidvania, how come you’re not as enthusiastic with this one?” because Fusion’s pillars are a strong narrative present throughout the entire game, a memorable gimmick in the form of the SA-X, many revisitable areas, and most importantly stellar level design. OoE doesn’t have stellar level design.

I mean, this is literally Marble Zone from Sonic 1!

And that’s still moderately complex for this game.

Bruh.

Some later levels even reuse assets and music. Argila Swamp is Ruvas Forest but more annoying, and Mystery Manor, the first climax of the game where you fight Albus, is just a reskinned Giant’s Dwelling. I can’t help feeling very disappointed by the last one :\

At least the plot is great! The best one in the series so far. I like Shanoa a lot, she has a memorable design and gimmick, and watching her losing her memories and emotions due to the adopted-brother-turned-villain was a great incentive to keep going - I really felt for her everytime she pointed out that she can’t feel anything and cannot even smile or cry. It’s hard to make you care for an emotionless protagonist, but she’s self aware and sensitive enough that it works. Then at the end, twist! Albus really was doing everything for Shanoa’s sake, because Barlowe was evil all along (as you can see in the bad ending)! The first scenes sure hit different now. You thought that Albus was just a jealous asshole, but no, he was a big bro until his death :( and when Shanoa uses Dominus to defeat Dracula, Albus gives his soul to not sacrifice Shanoa’s. Stop I can’t handle this D:

“You gave up your life for my safe, and I don’t feel anything. I can’t even shed a tear... Why was everything stolen from me?!” ;A;

“Now I've lost everything... my past, my emotions, my brother, and my purpose... I'm empty. ...there's nothing left for me.” ;AAAA;

You see this? You know what it is? It’s precious and to be protected at all costs, that’s what. I want to hug her so bad :(

(I’m just a little bothered by how, in other cutscenes Albus is in, he sounds too smug and patronizing. I can’t read his dialogue in any other way than “evil”. Bit of a missed opportunity)

Speaking of the good ending, I have to praise how you get it: save all 13 villagers before facing Albus. Some of them are in your way, others are hidden behind secret walls It’s by far the best requirement I’ve seen so far: it’s tied with the plot, it’s something you’ll be doing naturally, requires only the minimum amount of effort in exploring, there’s a strong plot reason that explains why doing this allows to progress, and it doesn’t turn the fake final boss into an irritating slog :^)

And the fake final boss, Albus, that’s probably the most fun boss in the game. Maybe also the easiest because for some reason he doesn’t damage you on contact but hey. If you bother to collect the Vol Umbra glyph in the dark trap room, and also if you have the presence of mind to absorb Albus’ own Acerbatus glyph, it becomes a rhythm game of shooting, sliding behind him, shooting, sliding behind him, and it was super engaging. (also my heart broke everytime I died and he uttered “Shanoa, kill me” :( )

(the bad ending is also much more poignant than in the other games. It’s not just “oh well, nothing more we can do now, let’s go home”; Shanoa, who hasn’t learned the truth, dies by using the compete Dominus! And since you probably don’t know the truth either, it comes as a shock to you too! And you have to personally equip the glyphs and use them, almost making you an accomplice! Not only Dracula is free to do as he pleases, but your negligence killed the protagonist! Man that just makes me feel bad :( )

(on another note, the game is kind enough to show you the villagers that you’ve missed, although not exactly where, and for a few seconds each, just enough to guess where the rooms could be. That is very nice)

So, as I think it’s clear, I was ready to consider this game a downgrade compared to PoR. But then the second half of the game threw me for a loop. I beat Barlowe, got to Dracula’s Castle, and...

Excuse me???? Now you’ve decided to go back to the Metroidvania roots?

The castle is still more or less railroaded and it’s more of a labyrinth full of dead ends, where you have to cycle anti-clockwise to get to the top (the only choice I could find was whether to fight Eligor or Death first), but look at that! Passageways I need to backtrack to once I have the right abilities! Oh how I missed you! And the castle is big, made of multiple areas, with great glyphs to find, and full of vicious enemies that force you to be at the top of your game - it's funny how the game with the easiest requirement for the good ending gives you the biggest, juiciest treat :p

The combat is interesting and probably the most fleshed out part of the game, it reminds me of AoS’s Soul System but far less randomized. Shanoa gains weapons by absorbing glyphs, which is done by pressing Up for a few seconds, and the game sometimes puts you in situations where you have to be very quick while absorbing a glyph or simply surrounding you with enemies. The weapons at the beginning are... very much not great, and you’d better wait for their Vol version, which for me meant that I spent roughly the first third of the game feeling somewhat frustrated, but they do improve later on. You can double attack if you assign the same weapon to both attack buttons (and ngl double smashing the hammer became addictive pretty quickly), but attacking temporarily drains your MP, for some reason. I got used to it, but it felt like an arbitrary limitation at first.

The elemental spells were really fun, though, and I especially abused the Ignis spell with its triple projectile and Nitesco with its long range - this game also places much more importance on weapon weakness, which is nice, as it forces you to use everything you have and not just the weapon with the highest ATK stat. It’s been a thing since SOTN, but this is the first time where it felt important. There is some element of customization with the Glyph Union, that changes depending on which Glyphs you’ve equipped, which is pretty cool: I especially love Universitas (Light + Dark), it reminds me of how OP Sonic Boom was in Metroid Prime 2 <3

(and it is so funny to me that, at any time after the Albus fight, you can use the full Dominus glyph: it is extremely awesome to witness, but rip shanoa. sorry for breaking the promise albus, the flames of the apocalypse were pretty)

The back glyphs are some of my favorites. There’s Magnes, which allows for some engaging platforming, especially in the Mechanical Tower (and you can even avoid some of the early bosses’ attacks); there’s Paries, which makes you phase into walls; there’s Refectio, which makes you heal (what a literal life saver in Dracula’s castle); there’s Rapidus Fio, which makes you nyoom lol; and there’s the Arma glyphs, which are just fun - the Werecat’s attacks are fast and strong, and it’s so cute how the other Werecats help you; the automaton is slow but nearly invincible and destroys those annoying spikes in the Clock Mechanical Tower; and launching bats on top of Rusalka’s head as a Werebat was the highlight of the game for me.

I also like how you can steal the glyphs from some enemies and bosses as they’re getting ready to use their attack lol, what a power move.

Then there’s the fabled difficulty.

Similarly to SoTN, OoE suffers from Early Game Hell, in that you start off as very weak and with mediocre attacks, and only halfway through you feel relatively strong. To compensate for this, the enemies suddenly become tanks, killing you in a few seconds if you’re not at the top of your game. The enemy placement can be rather mean too :\ Dracula’s castle is downright evil, with some of the nastiest enemies since the NES era, to the point where the Death Ring feels like a joke. Oh, I’m stronger but I die in one hit? So pretty much my experience already?

Speaking of which, those stages that are nothing but straight lines? They’re like this because the point isn’t to explore, but it’s to defend yourself against swarms of annoying enemies. Are they meant to evoke the feeling of a Classicvania? Were people missing the Classicvania style? Is this the equivalent of the 2D sections in Unleashed? I can’t say I’m a fan of them. I’ll take Argila Swamp as an example, which was easily the lowest point for me. A clone of Ruvas Forest down to the music, with the added gimmick of weed that slows you down, full of fast, strong enemies that swoop on you or enemies that create weed for you to kill? It’s boring! At least the Classicvanias had more complex, well though out design!

The shop also adds to the difficulty: it’s nearly empty if you don’t bother to complete quests. The village becoming more lively as you rescue people is another good incentive to explore the maps, some NPCs are charming (I especially like the old lady with a mysterious past and the jeweler who’s totally into Shanoa lol), and the quests are rarely annoying anyway. Still, you have to work to get those helpful items.

The bosses got progressively better, and not just because I got stronger, but man were most of them a challenge. The first ones, like Arthroverta and the giant skeleton, were pretty boring and unmemorable. Brachyura was original but annoying and took forever to die. The Man Eater was forgettable, and so was the Gravedorcus. Rusalka is strong but really cool and the Arma Chiroptera exploit is both cheap and hilarious. Goliath was just strong. But by the end, you have the fun Albus fight, the engaging Barlowe fight (with a memorable move where he punches you as he berates for betraying him), and all the bosses in the castle, who are hard as balls (except for Wallman lol) but very memorable. Eligor, marathon boss that he was, was very, very satisfying to beat.

This is sick and by far the best moment in the game.

Wallman’s death is also sick in a funny way. He uses a glyph to hide in the walls, Shanoa absorbs it... and he fucking dies crushed in the wall. Shanoa is brutal.

A nitpick that I have is that at the end of the Dracula fight, Shanoa outright tells the player to use the full Dominus glyph. I think it would have been better if the player was left to realize it for themselves. Having to manually select the glyphs at the climax of the game also takes away from the tension. Oh well, the moment is still epic.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that there’s little to no nostalgia factor here. I think some of the enemies were reused, and there are two reused tracks, Tower of Dolls from Akumajou Dracula and Enterprising Mercantilism from Dawn of Sorrow. But there are no nostalgia bosses, no other musical references to more famous games (you know, the Holy Trinity :P), no plot connection to other games... Odd, considering how reliant on nostalgia this series is :P

Graphically, what else? This game is stunning. From the 30-frame animation of Shanoa’s hair to the gorgeous stormy sea, this game came out in the middle of the DS lifespan and it shows. I also vastly prefer the return to the gothic artsyle for the portraits - PoR’s cutscenes were hard to take seriously at times. PoR used 3D effects a little more frequently, but that’s okay, OoE has also great effects like the ship in the Kalidus Channel.

Some locations were fairly boring, like the forests, others were much more memorable, like the Kalidus Channel and the Somnus Reef (I have a thing for sea levels :P). And that’s not mentioning some clever setpieces - my favorite moment was stumbling upon a wrecked ship full of treasures in the Kalidus Channel! Or what about the frozen waterfall that you have to thaw by absorbing the Vol Grando glyph?

(I don’t know where to include this, but I really like how some glyphs aren’t just a game mechanic, but part of the world. Albus uses the Torpore glyph to trap the villagers, the Lighthouse’s light is the Luminatio glyph, absorbing the Vol Umbra glyph illuminates a room, there’s the aforementioned Vol Grando glyph... it’s intriguing world building :) )

(I also love how you have to find the 3 Custos glyphs, that is the three Cerberus heads, to open the gate to Dracula. It is a little weird how you have to go up and not down though, but I guess Lord Dracula refuses to live underground :P)

Musically... eh? For the first half of the game, I struggle to remember most of the tracks from the top of my head. The problem is not that the tracks are bad, it’s that I struggle to associate most of them with their areas - the recycling of levels and themes later on doesn’t help matters. For example, I can’t distinguish Chapel Hidden in Smoke and Unholy Vespers and I find them bland for the standards of the series; Rhapsody of the Forsaken is good, but I always forget that it plays in the Prison Island level. Some themes are good but play in weird locations - why is the funky and light Jaws of a Scorched Earth the theme of the harsh, steep, cloudy Tymeo Mountains? (and what’s with the name? it’s awesome but again not what I’d call that track)

But then there’s the second half, full of nothing but bangers. Albus’ theme, Sorrow’s Distortion, starts off with a creepy organ but then becomes a rock piece and so hype-inducing. Lament to the Master feels like a sad dance to me, almost conveying the two fighters’ mutual sense of betrayal. When An Empty Tome played in Dracula’s Castle? Chills <3 Malak’s Labyrinth? Ebony Wings (which to me sounds like the intro of Sailor Moon)? The Colossus? Why is this area so good??

(also Rituals stabs me in the heart and it hurts.)

So, final thoughts? I think I’d have to replay the game, maybe not immediately but in the near future. The game got better and better as I continued, but some factors are objective flaws for me. As I said in the beginning, the second half, as mean as it is, overshadows the first half, which is funny because I can tell that OoE tried to be different, maybe to shake up the formula. Well, the old formula still works better in my opinion :P but yeah, it feels like the opposite of SoTN, where the main game is a blast and the “extra” part drags on.

But at least I can say, that the best part of this game is that it had a Morb(i)us reference in 2008.

Truly the movie of all time.

But seriously, a pretty good game to end the main series with.

[anthemxix]

Had an interesting conversation with my best friend in the car today, and I thought you might be interested in a bit of Warriors angst we came up with.

So, it started as a different conversation, but basically we realized that in order to be a good ruler you can't be a good person. Rulers are forced, constantly, to choose between bad things. You have to make sacrifices to make sure your people are safe and cared for. You need to be selfish and focus solely on your people.

And you can see this in LoZ sometimes. Lullaby flees her castle and goes in hiding, since she's the only one who can help Time defeat Ganon and save Hyrule in the long run, but she's forced to watch her kingdom curmble and people suffer in the meantime. Short-term sacrifice for long-term victory. Dusk is forced to surrender to Zant because the other option it worse, she just gets lucky Twilight shows up when he did. Rhoam is a great example. He's looking down the apocalypse, and in order to be a good King, he feels forced to be a bad father (and he does realize later being a bad father won't save the kingdom, he just realizes it a bit too late). But he is, for all intents, a good ruler.

So, the Warriors angst.

Hyrule Warriors shows a war. Artemis is very much a good ruler but not a good person. She can't afford to be a good person. I have abandoned keeps playing that game, and the men in those keeps. In universe, those men died. And she had to let them. She had to sacrifice her troops because the alternative was far, far worse. It's not a good situation, and you couldn't call her a good person after some of those calls, but she is a good ruler.

And Warriors has to make those same calls. He has to let some men die, not even counting the ones he actually had to kill himself. He's had to make calls that he probably hated having to. He isn't a good person anymore, because he can't afford to be. He's led a war, and people leading wars can't be good people. He's a good leader instead.

And then compare to the other Links, who are good people. They had the privilege of being good people. A privilege that Warriors didn't get. And yet the others still think he did. They still think he's a good person instead of just a good leader. And he's probably clinging to that as hard as he can. Because he wants to be a good person, but he's not, he's a good leader.

(I also imagine he probably realized he can't be both around the time he ended up in Skyloft. Which is actually good, since he's paired there with Fi, who is very logical and factual. Percentages and numbers. Her advice don't care about how he feels. His emotions are irrelevant. Which would suck to hear, but she's right, his feelings don't matter here. They don't. And he needs to deal with that and adjust. And he does. And it sucks, but he does, and he ends up a good leader.)

(Also, now imagine in LU, Time realizing now that being a leader is a lot harder than he thought it would be. He was pretty sheltered from the war, I feel, and probably saw Wars in a very positive light. He's a Hero, and he saves people, and he's a good person and a good leader. And so he doesn't realize you can't be both, not really. And so he goes to Warriors for leadership advice, and has to come to the abrupt realization that Warriors is not who he thought he was, but that doesn't make Wars a bad person either.

"How do I save everyone?"

"You don't,"

And Warriors is right, and is sucks, but it's true. You save who you can, and feel bad about the ones you can't, and then you move on. And it's going to force Time to do a lot of reevaluating.)

-Attllhak

@attllhak thank you for sharing your thoughts! what an impressive and, in my opinion, very accurate analysis~

compared to the other links, warriors did have a unique experience. he regularly faced dilemmas with no positive outcomes and with immediate life-or-death consequences. i’ve had the same experience in hw that you described: sometimes you have no choice but to leave soldiers to die. logistically, it’s just not possible to protect everyone.

i appreciate that you used rhoam as an example of a good leader. folks tend to vilify him for the way he treated zelda, but he was doing what he thought would best serve his kingdom. in such dire circumstances as an impending apocalypse or a war, people have to sacrifice their own needs and emotions in favor of “the greater good,” so to speak. the situation is more complicated than “he didn’t respect his daughter, so he’s a bad person.” (and after all, wasn’t he right in the end, that zelda’s goddess-given powers were key to hyrule’s salvation?) and as you noted, warriors’ morality also occupies this complex grey zone.

your analysis here also raises some bigger questions that don’t really have answers. what truly makes someone a “good” person? warriors didn’t want people to die; he made these choices out of necessity. does that matter?

and the classic question of ethics: if ethical behavior means behavior that minimizes suffering, how do we quantify that suffering? is it the overall number of people suffering, or is it the amount of suffering each individual endures? that is to say, is it ethical to allow a few soldiers to die violent deaths in order to win, and thus end, a war? is it ethical to sacrifice a few in order to save the many? or is this sacrifice unethical because it causes a great amount of suffering for those few individuals?

ANYWAY, thank you again for sharing your thought-provoking ideas~ <3 <3

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Headcanons: The Sand Castle

While I don’t know if it is ever confirmed in-game, the massive Sand Castle at Bravo Beach is likely the same one featured in the C:KND episode, “Operation: B.E.A.C.H.”  In that case, while it was originally washed away in said episode, I imagine it was later reconstructed by King Sandy with the help of his cousins and their friends--reinforcing it with other materials and new additions such as the multiple slides.  Unfortunately for them, it wouldn’t stay under their control for much longer when it became an infected zone, forcing them to abandon it and allowing fusion monsters to move in.

While I do think it’s possible some other kid(s) may have taken inspiration from King Sandy’s original castle to build one of their own, the main reasons why I think this one is also owned by King Sandy are simply his promise in “Operation B.E.A.C.H” that he would build a new one and the control he has over the beach.  His teenage cousins, the Knights of the Round Towel, act as bullies keeping anyone else from building a sandcastle and they were able to get a lifeguard--who seems to be their close friend, given his later appearance with this same group--to officiate his and Numbuh 3′s “wedding.”  Therefore, even if King Sandy wasn’t around the beach for any reason, he’d have the influence to keep it around as a more permanent structure because of those connections. 

When his new castle was built, Numbuh 3′s sister, Mushi was very much welcome there by King Sandy.  Meanwhile, other children on the beach would continue to be bullied and harassed.  These incidents have caught the attention of the KND as a whole rather than just Sector V, with the kid-tyrant and his teenage forces climbing up on their list of enemies.

Things added to the castle since its reconstruction besides the slides would include a moat to keep rising waves from eroding the structure and evidence a large wall cutting it off from the rest of the beach.  Since becoming an infected zone, much of that wall has fallen away, instead leaving large mounds of sand in its place.

Fuse actually targeted the castle on accident, thinking it was a lot more important than it actually was due to its size in comparison to the various structures around it and his initial spies only alerting him of Sandy’s importance as the “king,” unaware of that mainly being a self-declaration.  When the fusion matter infection set in and he and his cousins were forced to abandon it, the kids they’d tormented honestly didn’t care as they thought it was a bit of karma he very much deserved.  The only issue was that the infection kept spreading and could’ve contaminated the whole beach if it wasn’t contained.  It holds little to no strategic value, so it’s a zone that often gets dismissed unless a fusion tries to hide out in it or expand the rate of the infection.       

Despite King Sandy’s best efforts, due to the infection and lack of up-keep, the Sand Castle is gradually falling apart and is no where near in the same condition as when it was built.  It’s greatly misshapen and there’s even large, alien plants growing from it that thrive on fusion matter.

People sent inside the castle on missions often complain about it being the worst due to how unstable the interior is.  Because it’s still made mostly of sand, it’s hard to know which areas of it are safe to move through and the floor can swallow you at any point.  There’s also a dark, dank series of tunnels beneath it that once made up the dungeons and some secret passages.  In the mission, “These are a Few of His Favorite Things,” we travel through some of these tunnels and can recognize them as part of the castle due to the fact that a few, small turrets have submerged there.  (The three beach chairs at the end of the fusion lair in that mission may also hint to King Sandy’s three cousins.)  

Ice King saw the Sand Castle when he first arrived and, mistakenly believing the same thing Fuse did, made his ice spire bigger just to say, “top that.”  He was disappointed to learn that there wasn’t an actual princess over it, but doesn’t show much aggression toward King Sandy personally: It’s the other way around.  Not only did Ice King manage to get on King Sandy’s and his cousins’ nerves for building the spire on the beach--one that they can’t easily strike down either thanks to it being made from ice and that Ice King can easily fix it--but he also infuriated them because he won’t play along.  

Gonna put this side note here for more context on that last point: Originally, the confusion with the castle and King Sandy’s insistence on being a legitimate ruler did convince the Ice King, and it almost caused a ton of trouble, because the Ice King would’ve accepted their demands to “fight for control of the beach” after his “intrusion on their domain.”  The group didn’t know what they were getting into, so he would’ve destroyed them with his ice powers and caused a lot of collateral damage to the beach itself.  The fusion fighters looking after the Ice King had to rein him back and explain the truth of the situation, which he actually accepted pretty well.  He just sees them as kids playing pretend and will invite the group into the spire every now and then, which of course only enrages King Sandy further since he’s not being taken seriously.  It doesn’t help that the Ice King won’t take Mushi seriously either as Sandy’s new “princess of the beach”: The Ice King won’t capture her because she’s not a real princess and because of her age, his words often paralleling the same things Sandy was told countless times when he went after Numbuh 3.  Their relationship is that of a weird, but typically chill neighbor and a brat that keeps trying to get a rise out of him to make him either retaliate or leave town.  His cousins, meanwhile, kind of go back and forth: They know the Ice King’s strange and erratic, and they won’t turn on Sandy... but sometimes the Ice King offers them food and they can’t say no.