#DONT WATCH THE MOVIE THOUGH DONT LET THAT BE YOUR INTRODUCTION

[bemorekleinman]

ooooo stranger things fandom you guys wanna listen to dear evan hansen sooooo bad ooooooo do it for gaten matarazzo do it for dustin you know you want to ooooooooo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[angel-eyes05]

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.

You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.

When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.

Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.

The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.

Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.

“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.

“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.

“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.

“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.

He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”

He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”

You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”

He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.

Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

NEXT CHAPTER

[prager-lover]

Recom Prager x F!Recom!Reader

I got so damn bored also this is my first time writing for a Recom, i've been obsessed with them since I saw the second movie. Feel free to send me hc or fic ideas for the recoms cuz I love them so much.

When you cant find the fanfics you want, write em yourself

Content overview: Swearing, reader is straight/bisexual(says they like men, doesnt specify if they are straight or bi), cringe fluff, Prager being dumb (i love him), Prager being a little nerd that can't talk to women, awful writing get over it this is self indulgent

Word count? Dont know. A lot. Ignore how bad my writing is

Pandora, twenty years later.

Being woken up in this new big blue body kind of threw you for a loop. Years ago, we were fighting these giants and now you were them. What the fuck. The first face you saw was Lopez and Christ Almighty he was the wrong person to see. All up in your face, the blue Latino was yelling, probably running off an adrenaline high.

"AYE COÑO WAKE UP"

Prompting you to shove him away and jump off the gurney, backing into a corner. Other large blue bodies closed in on you, yelling to calm down. You took the time to realize they were Marines. Your friends. You calmed down when one of the Na'vi that looked alot like your old friend Ja started talking. He started explaining that you guys were recoms, you'd died and now you're back.

Well Shit.

Y/N's Pov

It's been a few months since I woke up as a Recom. Thankfully, everyone seems to have adjusted. Lyle is still an idiot, flirting with every breathing thing at Hellsgate (Im pretty sure hes even tried making passes at the Colonel). Being in this new body is actually pretty cool once you get used to it. The stripes and shit look awesome. Besides, the improved strength is nothing to sneeze at. When we're not out trying to find Sully, I spend almost every free minute in the gym, or at least outside trying to do something active, any chance to be around my friends. I'm glad Ja is here, back when we were humans, he was my damn rock. Always there with a joke and a smile, it's nice to be so comfortable with someone, considering theres only a few of us recoms. Everyone else on base is either a scientist trying to probe me, or some puny human that jumps a mile high when I go in a room. Tiresome.

There is a new guy though, Prager. He was in the room when I woke up, wide eyed and ready to hold me back if it was needed. Not so good for first impressions. Ja gave us a formal introduction afterwards. Apparently him, Brown, and Ja were pretty good friends. His facial features did look kind of familiar, I probably saw him around base a few times. I can't lie, he was kind of striking. In a weird way. He looked so tired all the time. We got to talking, and eventually became friends as well. He was reallyyy into working out. It was kind of obvious, Jesus his muscles were big. Kind of muscles that you just wanna smack. It started with us running into each other at the gym, polite "Heys" and "How're you?" but after a while we started working out together. He'd spot me on the bench, making it kind of hard to concentrate when he's standing right on top of me. Almost dropped the weight a few times. We'd hang out together for a little bit, going outside on the basketball courts and watch animals flying around, and sometimes when it would be near eclipse, we'd stay and watch. We'd both be hungry, and sometimes he'd forget a snack so I'd bring extra protein bars I snuck from the mess hall. Sometimes when he'd turn away I'd look at him. He was pretty, especially in this lighting. Very soft and relaxed, unlike when we were on missions. When it was just us, no Ja or Lopez coming around the corner to tackle him, he'd let his face fall or just close his eyes. Call me delusional, but I swear he did the same to me. I'd turn my head around and catch him quickly turning, light purple blush spreading across his cheeks. Cute.

3rd person Pov

"Hey, Y/n, wait up!"

Y/n turned around, smiling when she saw Prager jogging towards her, green headband ties swaying behind him.

"Damn girly, what happened to waiting for eachother?" He said, feigning hurt while slightly out of breath.

"Sorry man, maybe you're just too slow. Pick up the pace." She joked, lightly punching his bicep, being met with pure muscle. God Damn. He wont admit it, but that touch sent butterflies right to his stomach. He'd been harbouring this crush on Y/n for months now, and everyday it seemed like it went deeper. Ja would groan loudly when Prager brought up y/n for what seemed the thousandth time that day.

"Just stop being a pussy and ask. her. OUT." He'd say, enunciating the last 3 words with smacks on Prager's head.

"I know but what if she says no, I'd rather get trampled by a direhorse." He lamented, throwing himself onto a bunk like a melodramatic Disney princess. Ja just decides to give up.

Y/n and Prager started their typical workout routine, stretching, muscle building, then cardio if they could bear to look at a treadmill or bike. They didnt talk much during their workouts, mostly shared smiles or raised eyebrows. It was late now, the workout was probably 3, 3.5 hours. Too long. They left the facility, heading out to the basketball courts to cool down.

Y/n's Pov

Fuck. Too long. Way too fuckin long for a workout. I should be used to it at this point, i'm a damn marine but it was too much weight for too many reps. I think Prager feels the same way. Everything feels too light in my hands, the dumb bells ghost weight still pulling my arms down. One upside, Prager still somehow looked good. I'm not sure how its possible but the man just looks handsome without trying. Pisses me off to a point, he probably doesnt realize how good he looks to me right now. Asshole.

We stopped in our tracks and flopped to the ground.

"Fuck almighty." He groans out, sprawled out on the concrete, tail flicking lazily next to him.

"Yeah, you're telling me." I say, sitting down next to him. "It's gonna be a pain in the ass to get up tomorrow."

We sit in silence for a while, just soaking in the fresh and cool air. Thats the beauty of Pandora, all this beautiful scenery, nature preserved and fresh air not polluted by billions of people over-populating the planet. Sometimes I don't like what we're doing here. General Ardmore, all the other humans. We're going to fuck up this planet, just like we did our original one. Prager must have noticed my shift in mood, my tail flicking around, agitated. He sat up on his elbows looking at me.

"You alright there?" He asked, big ol eyes looking up at me. I was knocked out of my trance.

"Yeah i'm good, just thinkin'."

He was about to reply when a loud laugh erupted from the side. There was Lyle, hands on his knees while Z-dog was wiping tears from her eyes. Of course. Those guys were inseparable. And insufferable. Lyle would always be giggling about some stupid shit. I love that bald bastard but when you're trying to unwind it can get on your nerves. Prager and I shared a look. Yeah, he knew. We both started laughing, somehow our two voices still overpowered by Lyle's hacking guffaw across the courtyard. We watched them walk off, Z-dog clapping his back.

"Do you think they have something going on?" Prager asks me. I was taken aback. He said it so nonchalantly, but I never would have thought he was one for gossip.

I chuckled as I answered. " I really doubt it, I think Z-dog's gay. Never seen a girl that looks like that without an ounce of fruit in her. Never knew you were a gossip queen Prag, didn't know you had it in you." I raised my eyebrow suspiciously at him. He threw his head back laughing softly, his Adam's apple withing perfect striking distance. Why did I think about that. We were quiet for a few seconds. when suddenly;

"Are you gay?" He was looking at me again. The question was so quiet I thought I misheard him for a second. Again, taken aback.

"Uh, no. No, I like guys."

He let out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god."

What the fuck. I started laughing. Loud, violent laughs as he quickly gets from his comfortable position, obviously panicking from what he just said.

"Wait wait wait no I- no no I didn't mean it- well I didn't mean it like that no no you got it all wrong." He was shaking his hands at me, cheeks blushing a deep purple. I was rolling on the fucking ground. my sides hurt from how hard I was laughing. I tried gaining composure, but his stupid handsome face was looking at me with a panicked face and I came undone again.

"did-didn't know you didn't agree with-" I hiccupped. "-that sort of lifestyle Prag." I was still giggling when he got louder.

"Wait wait NO I didn't mean it like- like that no no it's- no I have gay friends and stuff-" Again I lost it. His ears were pinned back against his skull, tail swishing adamantly behind him, pupils big.

"No no no no no no no I just meant it like I like you so I hoped you didn't like girls cuz that would suck cuz I like you and I don't want you to not like me..." He covered his face with his hands, mumbling after that sentence. What he said, I don't know but I think it was along the same lines. All that was replaying in my mind was " I like you"

Prager liked me? ME? I turn so I'm Infront of him, he's still babbling on and on, incoherent.

"Prager.."

"I'm sorry I don't know why I asked that-"

"Prager."

"I know I know I'm sorry I can just go I'm sorry I don't know I just got nervous I'm sorry."

Fucking Christ he was cute. I grabbed his wrists, yanking his hands away from his still blushing face.

"PRAGER."

He looks up to me so mopey, poor kitty cat with his ears drooping. I couldn't stop myself. I kissed his nose. That shut him up.

"Prager, I like you too."

He's looking at me with his mouth half open. Idiot. His hand reached for mine, holding me tightly.

"You do?" He sounded so small and helpless, like a kitten.

"Yes, you fucking dipshit" I said with a toothy grin.

His shoulders slumped over and he leaned into me, crushing me in a hug.

"Thank god oh my god you had no idea how long I've wanted to hear that thank GOD-"

I kissed his nose again. I'm finding this to be a very effective way of shutting him up.

"Maybe ask me out now instead of rambling."

He grinned at me. We left the courts a few minutes later, I reached to hold his hand and he took mine gladly. He dropped me off at my room.

"Night y/n, see you tomorrow." He beamed down at me, his ears perked up and tail moving quickly.

"Goodnight hotshot."

Prager scampered off. He felt like singing but he knew no one around would appreciate it, so he settled with whistling. The man wanted to fucking skip. It was obvious to Ja, who was playing cards with Brown and Lopez when Prager came in, that something good had happened.

"Prager? You alright man?" they all turned to look at him, his usually tired looking eyes bright and wide open.

"This guy on meth or something?" Lopez muttered.

"No no nothing like that I'm just a happy camper fellas."

Ja figured it out.

"No..."

"ohhh yes."

"NO."

"YES."

"YOU ASKED HER OUT?"

"FUCK YEAH."

Loud noises, Brown whooping and Lopez hitting Prager's back filled the room. Ja tousled up Prager's hair, laughing at his scaredy-cat friend's (Long overdue) courage. They made him stay up and tell them all the details.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is this my best work? probably not. But I am both sleep deprived and Prager content deprived so let me live my life. I'm living for the recoms right now. tell me what y'all think bye have a nice day

[estelledreamscape]

about me !

∘*✧˚⊹˚✦ hey hey (●’◡’●)ﾉ my name is estelle, and here is my little introduction!

my account's theme is Belphegor from the anime/video game Obey Me!

the reason for this is that i truly relate to Belphie, in more ways than one. but im totally in love with Leviathan and Barbs though don't get me wrong LOL.

here is a little about me, i hope we get along well.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───

⊹ let's start with the basics

! social preferences — i dont mind any nicknames given, in fact i really like them :],, im super shy to interact sometimes so please hmu if you'd like shjdsjhf

! privacy — i prefer not to disclose my irl information, especially my age, but that doesn't mean i don't have boundaries.

! DNI — if you force me into any serious beliefs/arguments, i am completely neutral about things and prefer not to get myself involved in any drama,, if you do not like my humor or posts, one thing to do is to unfollow and block, there are things we like and don't, it's unnecessary to make a big deal as hating and bashing

⊹ some of the things i like

! 🌌 hobbies • video games,, sleeping,, writing,, going out to eat with close friends,, reading, watching anime/movies,, stargazing

! 🐱 animals • cats,, foxes,, owls,, snakes

! ☔ others • rain,, typing in lowercase,, interacting with cats,, being home alone so i can do chores,, earning money with hard work,, sleeping at daytime,, colors purple, black, red, and blue

! 🫐 favorite food • seafood,, sweets,, vegetables,, filipino and japanese dishes

! 🎮 video games • obey me! and obey me! nightbringer,, call of duty mobile,, soul knight,, honkai impact 3rd,, project sekai

! 🔮 anime • yuru camp,, seraph of the end,, stardust telepath,, restaurant in another world,, obey me! the anime,, cells at work!,, jujutsu kaisen

! 🎥 movies/shows • harry potter 1-8,, friday the 13th,, stranger things,, the boy,, friends,, the big bang theory,, the addams family

! 🎶 artists • cavetown,, khai dreams,, melanie martinez, , rebzyyx,, mxmtoon,, mitski,, girl in red,, conan gray,, pierce the veil,, 6arelyhuman

⊹ the things i dislike

— bugs,, crowds,, keeping the lights on,, having to socialize with my battery drained,, losing my charger,, spilling things,, scary dogs,, romantic movies

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───

∘*✧˚⊹˚✦ that's pretty much all, thank for your time, i hope we can all get along!

[kawaiichaoscomputer]

MY LOVE FOR U IS BIGGER THAN IT IS

James phelps x female reader

Its been 5 years i have met my two best friend, i missed them so much that i had planned to vist them over the summer. Im pretty they are quite with all the travling and Harry Potter movie. We been friends ever seen we were babies and to be honest i have one feelings towards a certain twin, and its been like that ever since we 15, i wanted to suprise them. So as i walked to the building i saw oliver standing talking to a blonde woman , they were chatting and lauging about something But then he turned his head a saw me.

Y/N !!! Oilver shout as the Blond woman laugh

I looked and turned as Oliver ran to hug me, i felt enjoy but then i saw the same blonde girl behind him

Y/n : are u going introduct me to your girlfriend Mr.Phelps

Oliver : hahaha very funny and yes i am ;)

Oliver : Y/n meet katy , katy meet Y/n

Katy : hello Y/n

Y/n : hello katy and btw have u seen james around, i wanna talk to him

Oliver ; YEAH HIS STANDING BEHID ONE TOM FELTON

Y/n : alright thanks oillie

As she was walking through the whole set she finally saw james but what breaks her heart.

She saw james kissing another girl, she is was about to walk out, james spotted her as he looks in her seeing her for first in 5 years

James : Y/N IS THAT U ?? he asked as he let go of girl hand

Instead answering him , you ran out as fast you can but then Oliver dropped You

OLIVER : WHAT in the bloody hell are u running

You stop and stare, as You said...

Y/n : I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

Oliver just looking at You confuse and trying to understand what you were saying ...

Y/n : OLIVER I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HIS WITH ANOTHER , I...I ...CANT..I ..

As You cried in Oliver shoulder, Oliver looked up and see his twin just standing there looking dumbfounded.

OILVER: You met want to turn around

Feeling gulity has he should but he knows its part of the best

You turned Your head around and saw James standing look like he has seen a ghost, even worst he met heard everything.

You try walking up to him but your body wouldn't let you. Between the three of you, Oliver walk up to james and whisper something in his ear

Oliver : good luck mate you need it but dont hurt her ...

Has he left to go meet up with some friends , james decide to ran up to her

James: why you didnt tell me?

Y/n: because its only going to break our friendship , i thought of telling you but then i saw u with her ..

James laugh as he watch Y/n confuse and upset; In which he though it was very aborable to see. The girl he loved for 5 years pass. James explain to her why the girl kiseed him and it does not really matter but what matters the most is seeing his love of life cried in his brother arms

James : I love you and only You

Has he said he pulled y/n close so he could kiss her. She was very shocked on what happening

But she cant help but kiss back slowy; little did they know their friends was placing a bet behid their the backs

Oliver: HAHA Pay Up you shit heads screaming toward tom felton

Tom felton place 10 pounds onto oliver hand, has he accepted his defend

[jenojaemssss]

nct dream as your boyfriend

nct dream x gn!reader

fluffy boyfriend!nct dream headcanons because it's 2 am and i'm all up in my head <3 also because i have no motivation to work on dont need it and am holding it off as much as i possibly can before finalizing it <3

lee mark

just the softest boy

we already know he really enjoys playing the guitar

so i feel like he’s the type to wake up at like 3 in the morning with a melody in mind

like he wakes up in cold sweat because he has such a good idea and he CANNOT forget it

he’d record a snippet of it and send it to you after he perfects it

but this is rare because he’d rather hear your reaction

mark isn’t the type to facetime; he’d rather just call you or just come over to see you in person

so a lot of the time you’d get an incoming phone call

at 3 in the morning

because he forgets the time when he’s immersed in his craft

and because it’s a phone call, he can’t see you squinting at your phone

but you’d try your best to not make it obvious that you were already asleep

and then he’d go on and on about how he was in the middle of writing something and thought about you

his voice literally just wakes you up because he’s so excited over his creation

“ready to hear it?”

and after playing it for you he’d have the widest, goofiest smile on his face

he’d be so proud of yourself after you give him a personal round of applause

but his grin doesn’t stay on for long because there’d be banging on his wall from his housemates telling him to shut up

this happened so often that they don’t even have to say anything, just forcefully tap their wall and he’d get the hint

usually then, he’d finally realize how late-or technically, early- it was getting

“ah shit, fuck were you sleeping when i called?”

and you’d just chuckle because he’s so damn cute

and then you’d remind him how much you love and enjoy his hobby

and how it makes you happy getting to listen to him play his guitar

“you do know you don’t have to pick up, right?”

but you’d just smile even wider and he could hear it over the phone and he’d smile too

your smile is so endearing to him

and when he was the reason you’re smiling, it sends him through the clouds

because how could HE be the cause of such a beautiful smile

“hey, baby?”

“yeah, mark?”

“i love you.”

and you’d giggle so hard because he still gives you butterflies

“i love you, too, mageolli.”

“bro, did hyuck teach you that?” he squeaks

another bang on his wall makes him jump and he ends up whispering to you for about another hour

huang renjun

this man loves to read, so whenever he’s reading a book he really likes, he’d annotate it with the intentions of giving it to you

sometimes he’d highlight funny things and write little notes like “this made me laugh and i thought you’d like it too”

so fucking endearing let me tell you

and when he comes across romantic lines, he’d highlight them in pink and write little notes on how it reminded him of you

when he’s done with the book and gives it to you, you’d find cute little highlighted portions with notes and messages directed for you

sometimes, he’d write you cute little messages on the inside cover, kind of like an introduction to his annotations

he’d also write a mini introduction to the content of the book, but in his own cute way

“i found this book really funny (those funny scenes are highlighted in yellow) and there were a lot of scenes where the interactions between the two main characters reminded me of you and i, so those are highlighted in purple”

and a bunch of other notes related to his annotations

the back cover has a mini summary and all his personal thoughts after finishing the book

“could they BE anymore stupid? he should have confessed to her when…” and many more angry-renjun reactions

there was one time he was reading pride and prejudice and came across this line

“in vain i have struggled. it will not do. my feelings will not be repressed. you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.”

he was about to pull out his highlighter and smear the bright pink across it but pauses

and then he just slams the book closed because he remembers how much of an asshole mr. darcy was in this book

and how much he hated pride and prejudice

he was only reading it again because you asked him to read it with you

the two of you often picked out your favorite books and had the other one read it and discuss it with each other after you both finished

kind of like a personal book club

this time around you picked this wretched book and he was not having it

but then you pulled out the puppy eyes

he gagged in front of you and asked that if he’d read it with you, you wouldn’t pull that shit again

internally he loved it, he just doesn’t like showing it physically

anyways, after slamming the book shut he stood up from the couch but was so pissed off with the fucking book that he called you

“babe, why is lizzy so fucking idiotic?”

you’re just as confused as he is, but for a totally different reason

“i know we’re supposed to discuss when we’re finished but i just cannot read this book anymore.”

lee jeno

the type of boyfriend that has a really hard time expressing his feelings in words

so he’d show it in his actions instead

his love language is most likely physical touch

but at the same time he seems like the type to not enjoy too much physical affection in public

yet he still needs to be touching you: always

just small gestures to keep in physical contact with you

it reassures him that you’re still there

in public, he’d make an effort to hold pinkies

like he’d interlock them when you’re walking around the grocery store or just when you go on walks together

oh yeah, jeno really likes walks

like when the two of you are having a really rough day or when you’re both just not in the best mood, he’d ask to go on walks to clear your minds

it’s his way of telling you that he’s there for you

on the rough days, instead of holding your pinky, he’d intertwine your hands instead

and when you guys argue over things and he doesn’t know what to say, he’d leave the room for a bit so that you don’t say things you don’t really mean to each other

jeno is a good man, he was raised right

so he KNOWS when he’s at fault

and when he realizes what he’s done and takes all the things you say into consideration, you’d hear the sink running or the vacuum turn on

he’d clean your apartment for you as an apology

back to the physical touch aspect of him

rare *public* back hugs here and there but only around people he’s comfortable with

but when you’re alone??

he would literally CLING onto you, personal bubble does not exist to this man

wraps his arms around your waist when you cook or do the dishes, playing footsies when you eat, all of that

sometimes when you’re both on the couch doing work on separate laptops he’d make it a literal mission to be in physical contact with you

like even if it interferes with his work, he’s gotta be touching you

he’d have one leg thrown over your torso if your hands are too busy with something

it’s really endearing because if you moved at all, like even just a little and he wasn’t able to have a part of his body on yours, he’d start pouting

he’d reach his arms or legs out in a grabbing motion and not say anything

and then you’d have to reposition yourself so that the two of you would be able to work and he still be able to touch you

and his smiles, the fucking smiles when he gets to hold your hand after you guys finish working on whatever you needed to work on

his cuddles are top tier too, and he’d make sure you guys get at least 30 minutes of cuddles a day

lee donghyuck

the whiniest, most annoying (but adorable) boyfriend ever

like jeno, he needs to be in physical contact with you, but instead of quietly pouting or reaching for you, he’d YELL

“y/n! hold my hand!”

“but i’m typing-”

“babe, hold my hand!!!!” *intense pouting*

he normally drops it when he knows you’re actually busy, but when he knows you’re just watching a movie or something, he keeps pestering you until you hold his hand

and when you do, he takes the opportunity to POUNCE on you like he just deadass lays on top of you

and you let him because it’s actually really comforting having his weight on top of you

NOSE KISSES!!!!!! lots of those

and forehead pecks

it goes both ways, though, because he likes receiving those too!!!!! fairness!!!!!

he’s the type to play tricks on you, but never takes it too far because he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way

and he spoils you a lot

like not with materialistic things (though sometimes he does) but more with arguments and when it comes to picking what to do/eat for the day

he’s the type to always think before his actions, yet when he’s around you, all logic is thrown to the side

“you wanna go bungee jumping? bet!” (even though he’s afraid of heights)

he gets two of everything when he goes to the store; one for him and one for you

and when you first started dating, you got a bit shy because of this due to the fact that he’s spending extra on you

you felt bad he was spending extra money so whenever you were buying things, you followed his habit and do the same thing

and for the first couple months he’d say that it’s fine and everything but when you both got really comfortable around each other, he’d be really witty with his comebacks

“no, i don’t wanna share with you” or “pay me back then”

sometimes the casual, “no, you’re gonna eat all of it and leave me nothing”

soon enough, the two of you fell into the habit of buying two of everything wherever you went (besides the things that you both know the other person hates)

also, when you first started dating, a lot of it was just casually hanging out at a park or walking around a random neighborhood and getting food nearby

street food you can take on the go >>>> food from fancy restaurants

and also, when you first started getting snacks for each other and he didn’t know what you liked, he got one of everything

like for example, the first time you guys had a movie night at your place, he went to the store but didn’t know what brand of chips you preferred so he bought both kinds

(he learned that day what your favorite snacks and brands were and he remembered it forever)

na jaemin

HUGS!

jaemin is the king of hugs, like no one, absolutely NO ONE can beat him when it comes to hugs

they’re always so warm and he always knows whenever you need one

he’s kind of like a battery pack, so whenever you hug him, you feel recharged and energized

because all his hugs are full of love and you can literally feel it radiating off of him

“jaems, i need-”

you can’t even finish your sentence because he’s already engulfing you

“i know, baby”

sometimes you’d tease him and say things like, “i was gonna ask for some water” or some shit like that and he’d get all pouty

and when he’s about to let go, you just pull him into you more

so obviously, he’s another fan of physical affection

but unlike jeno and hyuck, he’s not quite the clingy type

he will give you your space and will not invade your personal bubble, but instead just show that he’s there by doing other things

whenever he sees that your water glass is half empty, he’d go refill it

would always ask if you wanted a snack

would feed you his food when you were busy working on your laptop

just little actions to show that he’s paying attention to you

you pick up on his habit and slowly become more tentative too

he’s also the type that shows the overprotective type of affection too

like, when it gets cold and he notices you shiver a little, he’d immediately take off his sweater/hoodie/jacket, whatever, and give it to you

or whenever your clothes seem to be bothering you, he’d offer you his shirt or pants or anything for you to feel more comfortable

he really enjoys cooking for you, so you’d have little cooking dates every once in a while where he teaches you a recipe or you teach him something

and it always either ends up in a disaster or a really appetizing success, no mediocre food in this household

the disasters are normally when you’re in charge of the cooking because you get distracted by jaemin’s crackheadery

he talks to the fucking vegetables and asks them how their day was before chopping them up, like what the fuck?

the normally tentative jaemin gets distracted because he’s making you laugh

he loves hearing you laugh, so he keeps doing what he’s doing to get to hear it more

so sometimes you forget you’re boiling something, you forget there’s something on the stove and shit starts spilling out

you’re both panicking and looking for the fire extinguisher

jaemin just ends up smacking it with whatever he’s holding and the flames go out and you both end up laughing and rolling around on the floor for the next 10 minutes

zhong chenle

can be the most evil or the most adoring boyfriend, there is no inbetween

like some days, he’d tease you to the point you ignore him while other days he’s all cuddly, snuggled up against you while hyping you up like you’re some sort of insta baddie

but a constant is that he will ALWAYS call you cute

you say something stupid? “cute.”

you CALL him stupid? “how cute!”

you drop your phone in the toilet? “cute.”

he has an obsession with that word, but it doesn’t really bother or annoy you because you really like hearing him say it

even when you guys play video games

you’re both beast at battle royale games, so you’re both constantly playing with one another

you guys normally don’t play when you see each other/ meet up because you spend that time doing other quality couple things

like bicker over what to order or where to get boba from for the day

so instead you guys normally play video games together at 3 in the morning after finishing up all your work for the day

whenever you’d knock down an enemy, you’d hear him from the other end of the phone shouting things like, “y/n that kill was so sexy!” (he picked that up from jaemin)

when you make noises after either missing or hitting your target, he’d chuckle to himself and mumble a little, “cute.”

soon enough you’re also picking up the habit and calling him cute all the damn time too

at first, he insisted that you stopped calling him cute because it was HIS line

“babe, i know i’m adorable, but stop calling me cute.”

“no.”

more bickering because he is so persistent

eventually got used to it and you two would have little squabbles over how the other is overusing it when you're BOTH doing it

not normally the type to be showing physical affection, but will cuddle when he’s sleepy

he feels safe when he’s holding you so he’s at peace and can fall asleep easily

he probably likes petting your hair when he’s the big spoon, and likes it when you pet his hair when he’s the little spoon

OMG WAIT he’s probably the type to have you lay on his lap (or vice versa) and just play with your hair (or have you play with his hair)!!!!!!!

like y’all are just chilling on the couch watching some basketball game and he just lays on your lap out of nowhere

“time for human contact!”

you’d just laugh and start combing your hand through his hair and he closes his eyes and ends up falling asleep

park jisung

the best friend type of boyfriend where the most couply thing you end up doing is going yo the zoo and feeding animals

he really likes when you guys go to the gift shop and play with the little toys they have

he’s super interested in the little things and is fascinated by everything big and small

you find that shit so cute and secretly take pictures of him staring at the miniature figures of lions

he catches on after seeing you changed your wallpaper to a picture of him holding a giraffe puppet and having it look at him

he holds your finger when you walk around so that you both don’t get lost

but his hands are really big compared to yours, so you switch to holding his finger instead and he physically melts because he thinks it looks so cute

i think your typical dates are the ones that involve a lot of walking around BECAUSE of the fact that you hold onto his finger

(jk, but like...he just thinks it’s really cute)

(so much so that it becomes a habit when you’re just hanging out)

(watching a movie? here, hold my finger. grocery shopping? here, hold it.)

you guys go to the amusement park often too

you hold onto each other’s fingers and wander around the park looking for rides that jisung can ride because he's scared of action

but you like roller coasters, and jisung always feels bad because you never ride them when you two go together

so one time, when there was one you really wanted to go on but you knew it would have scared jisung

so you decided to pass up on it because you didn’t want to leave him alone

but he was noticing how your eyes kept lingering on the coaster and he broke

“y/n, i’ll go on it with you”

and you’re shocked because you didn’t even say you wanted to go on it, like you just looked at it but he caught on

and you tried to brush it off and insisting that you could go on a ride you both liked

but he was so stern about it because he knew how much you wanted to go on it

i think he’s the type of boyfriend that normally gets over his fears when he is encouraged by his partner, and in this case, his form of encouragement was making you happy

he just likes seeing you happy in general

so internally, he’s hyping himself up while you’re cheering for him

and although he’s scared shitless, he goes through with it because he knows that this is a fear he needs to get over, so might as well get it over with while making you smile!

and so when it’s your turn to get on the ride, he gets cold feet, kinda, but you grab onto his hand, not his finger, and rub your thumb over it to reassure him that it’ll be fine

and it was honestly not that bad because he felt safe with you holding his hand the entire time

and when the ride finishes and he sees how happy you are, he thinks to himself that it was so worth it because you’re beaming

he makes a note

holding your hand > holding fingers

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Sun: Three Ducks of the Condor or Now with More Racism!

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my look at Ducktales: Treasure of the Golden Suns!, the pilot episodes that started it all. This look was one of my patreon stretch goals. To explain them in case some of you aren’t familiar with patreon it’s essentially like a kickstarter stretch goal: every milestone I reach in my monthly earnings means a crop of reviews for you guys, with this being 10 and my review of the movie, and the goofy movies in two weeks and September respectively, being the 15 dollar one. So if you want reviews of the OTHER Ducktales mini series Time Is Money and Super DuckTales, then hop on aboard and help me reach my 20 dollar goal so I can keep making these reviews for a living and give you all more. Said goal also includes a Darkwing Duck review eveyr month AND a review of teh Danny Phantom special The ULtimate Enemy so hop on board HERE AT MY PATREON.  Patrons also get exclusive reviews, access to my discord server (Though if anyone would be more intrersted in me making that public let me know), and to pick a short each time I do a birthday special for a character from Looney Tunes, Disney and Beyond. And next month is my boy Donald’s so since you all already sat out goofy NOW is the time. 

So now my very necessary plug is out of the way, i’m very poor, we can get to the review proper:

When last we left off Scrooge and the Boys went on their first proper adventure together, heading to Central America to follow the map from the first episode and running into Dr.Claw  El Capitan and his new best buddy Glomgold. Mild racisim, moonsoons and much better pacing ensued. 

So join me under the cut as my boy Donald returns, some iconic characters are introduced in Webby, Launchpad and Beakly, though this series only made one of them iconic to be fair, and we get some more mild racisim because fuck my life. Onward to the cut! 

So yeah as I’ve mentioned a few times now this episode had a content warning.. which was fair as there is some pretty cringy stuff in here but it had the side effect of me holding my breath until the racisim came up and whapped me in the face. So i’m keeping that tension up for you guys so I don’t have to suffer alone. 

We open at the Mansion. Scrooge is trying to find a governess for the boys, but they keep scaring off all the clients because they don’t like the idea. And for once.. i’m on Scrooge’s side here. Yes I know there’s a sterotype of rich people hiring a nanny to not have to parent. and it’s sadly often true and it’d SEEM like Scrooge is doing that.. but really he just wants the boys to be safe. He’s fully grown to care for them and just wants someone cheap and responsible to look after them while he’s busy and clearly still makes time for them. As someone who is a former nanny, albeit for someone working class, I get that as much as you WANT to spend every moment with your kid you often can’t. I say all this because SO MANY kids movies and shows villianize parents for not spending time with their kid when their clearly just working to support them. There are nuanced exceptions to this and refreshingly Craig of the Creek has outright avoided this: JP’s mom is gone almost all the time due to working as an airline pilot, but while he clearly misses her he never resents her or guilts her over it, he understands sh’es supporting him and goes out of his way to make sure his friends can meet her. It’s really swee.t And while again I get it, this guys a billionare, most examples aren’t, Scrooge still really CAN’T stop working: He has more money than god and like most bilionares REALLY should give most of it to charity or to help with programs instead of hoarding it in a massive bin.. but he’s also got tons of companies, factories, investments... people COUNTING on him to make sure these are working correctly and keep their jobs. So yeah i’ts nice that the show isn’t demonizing scrooge for this or dosen’t even consider it: he’s getting help beacuse he needs it, that’s what’s important. 

So while the boys widdle down the nannies, Scrooge talks to a renowned coin collector. He does show off his collection to the guy, but his main goal is naturally to show him the coin from last time. Turns out that naturally for a five part episode the treasure they lost last time was just a fraction of the real thing and the real titular treasure is a mythical horde even Scrooge, who normally has proved something out of myth is very real 5 times before breakfast, didn’t think existed. 

Something I do love about this five parter is how every treasure hunt has ended up being important each piece of the puzzle leading to the next like any good treasure hunt. As for where this one leads the collector HAS heard of only one other coin like it, up in the Andes Mountains in a mysterious fortress whose mountain habitat and being a fortress makes it hard to get to and the owner is apparently a real piece of work.. but Scrooge isn’t afraid of a little hard work and is ready to go after it.. he just has to find a Nanny first. 

And he does as there’s only one left: Mrs. Beakley, who we FINALLY meet after two episodes. Yeah for some weird reasont his episode choose to cram the rest of the major main and supporting cast into one episode.. it still works, they all still get great introductions it’s just weird to me when you have five episodes to not say introduce Launchpad last time. 

But regardless as I said it’s a good intro.. despite the boys wilding a lasso and a snake.

 Beakly is unphased and even dosen’t remotely fall for them trying to say she got the wrong name. And while Scrooge is a little impressed, he’s even more when she states she’ll work for free... with one condition: Free room and board for her and her grandaughter, Webby, who has been there the whole time and looking cute as a button. Scrooge is unsure but one minute of Webby being adorable later and he’s agreed. She can’t eat much right? He also hopes she’ll help the boys not be douchebags, unaware that their inherent poorly written sexisim means that was never going to work. And why yes I will call it out eveyr time it happens because it happens every time they have an episode together and only gets worse. 

He goes to Gyro for help and Classic Gyro.. is utterly delightful. While I clearly have issues with Classic Scrooge, whose a greedy poorly aged asshat and the boys, who are sterotypes of male children, Gyro? He’s nice, friendlya nd eccentric, using a delightfully wakcky pogo hat thing to think and takes only a mintue to figure out how to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem and only needs a few hours to build his cool looking bird ship, using bird legs to offset the hard to sort out landing conditions. But since it’s a fancy bitch, it needs a pilot and i’m sure we all know where this is going...but since Carol Danver sis busy he has to go with Launchpad. 

Launchpad’s intro is great, cheerful as he does a job testing a plane and naturally crashes it, and when thought dead walks out seconds later unharmed and jolly as ever. Scrooge is naturally terrified of the prospect of flying with him but dosen’t really have another choice “I hope my insurance is paid up.” Scrooge it’s you.. of course it isn't. 

So with that our hero bids a farewell to the boys and ends up unteitonally coming off MASSIVELY unlikeable. No really he leaves them behind for their saftey despite needing help... and then upon finding out Donald is going to be on leave soon in the andes, and just assumes that YOU KNOW, he’d LIKE to go on a dangerous exausting adventure instead of actually get some rest after working in the goddamn navy and STILL dosen’t take the kids along despite having a very tearjerking farewell IN FRONT OF HIM that happened at most a month ago. Granted i’m suprised Donald is getting leave this soon.. but since I genuinely like to look into this sort of thing and the last time I didn’t I was correctly reminded Gulliver’s Travels was a satire.. and found out someone HAD actually watched the Jack Black movie. I only vaugely remember a trailer.. I thinkn it was a trailer? Maybe it was the middle part of a juinor novelzation where htey have all the photos? I really don’t know. I know almost every pokemon on sight but not where I saw pictures of a forgetable jack black movie, what a shock. 

So long story short I DID google it. Here’s what I got

So given clealry more time has passed than we’ve seen on screen, enough time COULD have passed for Donald’s three day pass to kick in. So credit to the crew for actually thinking that out. They still get all the blame though for not only not seeing how bad not taking the kids to see the uncle whose like a father to them a month after he left when he CLEARLY can is bad, but how worse it is that the first break donald gets ina  month.. is spent helping scrooge against his will on a life or death treasure hunt. 

And I get WHY they wanted to try out having Donald on an adventure: he was in most of the carl barks material.... but I also dont’ get it as Launchpad was deisgned entirely to fill in for Donald when needed, we’re only three episodes into the series and this gives the wrong impression Donald will guest star a lot more. In practice while he still did get a meaty 8 episodes on the show including this one, 2 of which were cameos and the pilot only dosne’t count because of the exnteded slapstick sequence, and dosen’t appear at all after season 1, likely because Fenton’s introduction made him reduntant as he was an even more blatant Donald stand-in. It just feels weird to shove him into the pilot movie when we should be focusing on our main cast, epsecially with so many getting intorduced this episode. It woudl’ve made more sense for Gyro to be the third man instead and it woud’ve elmaited Scrooge’s uttelry horrible actions here of depriving his nephews of their surrogate father. 

So Uncle Dickstick leaves with Launchpad to go abduct donald.... and tha’ts not me being funny, that’s what actually happens. Donald is singing out on leave.. with his superior... weirdly doing paper work outside on the flight deck. 

And is angry at Donald because of him taking pictures and stuff and threatens him if he’s not back exactly in time... because look he’s on a boat with a bunch of sweaty men but as the most superior officer he can’t enjoy that so he has to get off SOMEHOW and ruining donald’s life just happens ot be a thing for him. 

So yeah Scrooge straight up naps Donald via claw and Donald is angry, wondering, as you’d expect “What’s the big idea”.. and once Scrooge clairfies he did it.. still asks that because what the fuck. And the episode treats this as comical, as it does Launchpad not understanding Donald.. and don’t get me wrong you CAN make a good “I can’t understand Donald Duck” joke, the 2017 series made PLENTY. But said series also spoiled me as they did it with far more effort, while also still showing just how much it would suck to have everyone around you struggle to hear what you say and never listen to you. They actually cared abotu Donald’s well being where as this one thinks “Gee you knwo what would go great iwth a hard month’s naval work? MORE WORK HELPING YOUR UNCLE GET RICHER FOR NO PERSONAL BENIFIT AFTER HE KIDNAPS YOU”. 

So our heroes.. and scrooge, head to Andes and find the temple and it’s here “Sigh” we met our antagonist. A Conquestador Douche who DOES have a name and it is on the wiki.. but is so generic and unlikeble I’m just going to keep calling him conquestador douche, whose introduced waving his sun coin around while the natives all bow to him because of the coin.

Welcome to the racisim! Admitely it’s not as bad as Treasure of the Lost Lamp, that’s a high bar to clear, but ti’s still not great to have the racist cliche of “character conquers a civilization because of they belivie he’s a messenger for their “silly” god”. And the saddest part is not that I didn’t notice this trope and how bad it was as a kid watching shows like this... but that as an ADULT about 4 years ago when I watched this episode how racist it and this trope in general was didn’t register to me at all. That.. really bothers me that it took me this long to pick up on things like this and i’m sorry for it. 

That’s honestly WHY we need these warnings and WHY i’m so hard on this racisim: it wasn’t necessary, it could’ve been removed and you clearly just didn’t care or didn’t realize it was racist. And even acceptable for the time dosen’t work for anymore: I learned recently that the creators of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, both white, hired black writers..and actually LISTENED, looking to them for personal stories and to check them if one of the white staff wrote something that wasn’t true to the black experience. I know that sounds like the bare minimum but this was the early 90′s, that kind of thinking wasn’t hte norm like it is in most writer’s rooms now.. and sadly not ALL writer’s rooms. Not only that but just today I ran into a MST3K skit that lampooned this kind of bullshit from not long after this episode. People clearly knew better, the writers of this episode just didn’t’t care

 So yeah, I get this was a kids show in the 80′s, I get the writing staff being almost all white.. but they still coudl’ve avoided cliche sterotypes and done something diffrent. It was was still wiithin white people like myselves power to actually think about something other htan themselves and we did not. So i’m never going to stop holding my own people accountable for just how BADLY we’ve fucked up in ways great and small because it still hasn’t stopped , likely never will so I won’t. 

But yeah.... the tribe here are portrayed as ignorant, mindless dumbasses who blindly follow tradition and a clearly corrupt leader. It’s patronizingly stupid to assume just because a belief system is diffrent than yours a person will belieive anything. Religion CAN make people act stupid, the fact many people are homophobic simply because the bible, a centuries old document written and distrbuted by humans that could of been altered by people with a clear homophobic agenda, says they should be. But there’s the very clear very gross implication here that any god but the christian god is invalid and simplifies wonderful and well thought out myths and beliviefs from various cultures into “well they belivie in da sun god because of the shiny coin”. It’s gross, i’m glad it’s stopped and it’s VERY telling that the closest Ducktales 2017 came to this was the most dangerous game night which while a tad cringe inducing at least showed the tribe it used was clever, disposed the person they mistook for a god after it was clear he wasn’t one , and were wholly sympathetic. 

Naturally Conquistadouche orders the tribe to attack Scrooge and it works briefly , though Scrogoe prepares to take on the ENTIRE villiage.. and given this is Scrooge and on this blog we’ve seen him take on an entire town before, and that was a more inexpericed less bastardly scrooge yeah their fucked, and only escape death because the coin falls out of scrooge’s coat when he tries to help donald who naturally injures himself trying to help. 

And since as per white dumbass racist logic, the villiagers thought Conquistadipshit was a messenger of the gods because of his coin, they think the same of Scrooge, this causes them to stop and bow instead and protect scrooge when Conquistadumbass tries to attack our heroes. Their given a room for the night naturally. 

Conquistadick demands they give him the coin and leave, but Scrooge has none of that: he has no reason to leave and has all the leverage so he instead demands to know wha’ts going on. 

Turns out Conquisineart is the decdendant of one of the crew from the ship Scrooge found: their captain rain off with it, leaving two of his men behind, though both had the map to the rest of the treasure and split it: one left for the Arctic, the other stayed and did the whole racist god bit. And somehow despite all the time passing Conquistadoodoohead still has his half and Scrooge aranges a trade for the coin. And why yes their is the obvious problem of “what if Conquistascoobydoo say tells them he’s the true god and attacks scrooge like he ends up doing in the climax”. And Scrooge’s plan.. is to have the plane ready and to run to it, despite Launchpad not being a mechanic and saying as much. Instead of you know... stealing the guy’s coin while he’s asleep or something or just having launchpad, whose bigger and stronger and donald whose not bigger but is also stronger hold the guy while Scrooge steals his sun coin, then simply walks to the plane with the map, the coins and all the leverage. at worst the guy tries to do the same scheme without any coins and as the end of the episode shows, that wouldn’t have worked. He was stupid. Oh and the cherry on  top of this shit sundae is scrooge objects to the guys tyranical rule.. but is okay with letting it keep going if he gets his coin and DOnlad, whose there for the deal, never call shim on it. 

We then get a bit of Launchpad being forced off a cliff to ride a giant Condor...

Look this episode is filled with racisit sterotypes, a generic villian and Scrogoe being awful. I’ll take a fun sequence of Launchpad riding a condor, with Donald providing an assit with his camera  by blinding the beast so Launchpad can ride him properly giving them more leverage now Launchpad is popular. And a deadline to fix things by tommorow. 

The next day Launchapd and Donald have defied logic and their own tendency to screw up and fixed the bird, while Scrooge makes the deal.. and naturally it goes EXACTLY how you’d expect and Scrooge runs, though our real heroes get thigns running. 

That’s when the people arrive on condors to persue, a fight insues yoru standard hero stuff.. not bad but given the racist context I can’t really enjoy it like Launchpad flying a condor.. which had some mild racisim in them making him do that as a ritual clearly deisgned to kill him but i’llt ake mild over pretty damn obvious. Eventually douchebag looses his coins, his ctizens abndon him. Happy end. 

So with the map Scrooge decides to do the logical thing.... have launchpad drop him in the middle of the ocean in a raft and steer there

Launchpad takes Donald home in time and his superior is mad he dosen’t give him a proper salute.. even though he CLEARLY just got home and is diisorented from a crash. Launchpad makes a quip and this episode mercifully ends. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode starts out okay.. but quickly goes downhill fast and steep. There are massive bits of racisim, massive leaps in logic, and massive amoutns of scrooge being a dick.. not his WORST in this series but it’s still bad. It’s just not very good. It’s the second worst episode of Ducktales i’ve seen, only held up by my boys Donald and Launchpad. This was miserable.

Next Time on Treasure of the Golden Suns: Our heroes head to the arctic for another offensive episode to rescue scrooge from his own stupidity.  Next Time on this Blog: We return to Green Eggs and Ham and hop on a train as our raging bitchcanoe mother and daughter duo meat our ambigiouslyg ay duo at last. 

See you at the next rainbow.

[post-modern-prometheus]

As someone who has never seen American Horror Story can you explain it to me - but like badly? (Think cards against humanity type vibes).

Like, I love Evan Peters, but I dont think I can watch ahs and see him the same way again, as I tend to conflate actors with the characters they portray sometimes - and I know ahs is kinda f**ked up.

ok i completely understand and thats my problem with watching svu and the guest stars (also why i immediately Did Not vibe with leonard in umbrella academy. bc he was Not a good guy on svu) but idk why ahs doesnt do that for me. maybe cuz evan peters has been peter maximoff to me for YEARS.

but anyway. basically...

murder house: there is a house. with murder. and plenty of other fucked up things. and ghosts. two of which are teenagers that are wayyyy to edgey for their own good. and everyone else's.

asylum: psychological thriller that for some reason needed aliens and demons and a fake anne frank. the best season if you forget all the Weird stuff like murder santa klaus and just focus on the actual sound writing and legitimate horror and good characters.

coven: witches??? idk there wasn’t a plot but they were hot and one of them was stevie nicks.

freakshow: characters singing bowie and nirvana even though this is set in like early 60s, late 50s? idk, the bowie i’d almost let slide but was kurt cobain even born yet? um also ig there was xmen-type social commentary but circus themed. and a little bitchy pissboy rich white boy who i hated. and murder clowns.

hotel: lady gaga vores someone during her introduction to tear you apart by she wants revenge. that’s all you need to know basically.

roanoke: oh you like meta?? you like documentaries?? what about horror???? have you ever seen the blair witch project?????? how about paranormal activity????? is keeping up with the kardashians your favorite show??? picture that but british sarah paulson.

cult: that blue haired girl from history class looks really different here (i can say that because i had blue hair during apush)

apocalypse: they have the audacity to have billie lourd reference ‘dark phoenix’ to evan peters. ONTOP of the name of the season and after having him cry to time in a bottle. AND while having a more confusing timeline than the xmen movies themselves.

1984: idk i didn’t watch it for the same reasons sarah paulson didn’t

i’m not proofreading this so these thoughts are flowing unedited have fun 😙

[davidpastrsnack]

buckle up besties, roommate anon is about to make you literally cry with this recap

(1) ok so. tyler’s family were scary but they ended up being so nice. when we first got there his brother asked me how much tyler paid me to be there 💀 tyler nudged him and said knock it off. then his brother said “well tyler, glad youre finally bringing a girl home” and his mom had come in just then. and scolded ty’s brother lol. his sister just said hi from the couch and ty went up to her and whispered something. and then they did a handshake which was so cute 🥺 i asked ty’s mom if she needed help with dinner. she took me up on that. it was nice talking to her. she was really sweet. we talked and even got to joking around. so thats good. ty’s dad came home in the meantime and said hi. he talked to me a bit too. ty’s sister was still a bit standoff-ish at dinner. she wasnt mean. just didnt really interact with me. she was the hardest to win over. but she did compliment my outfit. i appreciated that i changed three times she mentioned she needed new clothes for when school starts. i told her if she needed a shopping buddy to let me know. and she was like “really? can we go tomorrow?” and i looked at ty bc i had no clue what he had planned. and he sighed and was like “well i had plans to show her around tomorrow” and i gave him a look and he goes “but i guess we can do that after you guys get back” so next day i woke up before ty and got ready. then just sat there until he was up bc i was too scared to go downstairs alone lol. when we did go it was just his parents awake. his mom had me sit with them while ty made coffees lol. his mom told me they enjoyed having me here. and that tyler hasnt brought a girl over since his hs gf. who wasnt allowed to spend the night lol. and she told me he seemed really happy and…in l-word with me 🙈🙈🙈 oh and she said to not pay too much attention to his sister’s behavior bc she’s just jealous she’s not getting all of ty’s attention lmao. then later i took his sister shopping. we found a pair of earrings we both thought were cute so i bought myself and her a pair. she was really thankful and sweet. we ended up talking and she warmed up to me. especially when i said “you know youre just as amazing as tyler says” and she was like “what?” and i said “he talks about you all the time. i was really excited to meet you because he always says youre his best friend” i think she started to like me more after that. idk i tried to show her that im not stealing her brother from her lol. oh and me and her talked about boys and she mentioned this one guy. i was like oh is he cute and she blushed. i go omg do you have a crush on him. she was so red and told me i couldnt tell ty lol. when we got back though, ty’s brother had friends over. they were asking his sister who her friend was. she rolled her eyes lol. so sassy. then they were introducing themselves to me and ty’s brother was like “she’s not interested. she’s in college and is my brother’s girlfriend” i had to hold myself back from laughing that im in college came first and then ty’s gf. but in their introductions i learned that the boy ty’s sister has a crush on is her brother’s friend 🙈 oh girl. i gave her a look. she ran upstairs to put her stuff away lol.

(2) oh and during all this ty was at the store bc his mom sent him to run errands lol. so i chilled with her. helped her get some stuff ready since we were doing a cookout for dinner that night. ty finally came back. his mom shooed us out of the kitchen and told us to go have fun and then when we were putting on our shoes to go she yells “not too much fun though” 🙈 ty’s brother and his friends were snickering. high schoolers smh 🙈 so ty drove us and showed me around. it was fun. it was cute hearing his stories and memories and seeing how excited he got at some things. tbh i think i was giving him heart eyes more than i was looking around 🙈🙈 idk if i can explain it. just seeing him in his element. and a whole new level of relaxed and at home and domestic. idk. maybe youll get it 🙈 he also asked me how shopping with his sister went. so i told him about that minus her crush i aint a snitch. and i told him about his brothers comment lol. he goes “he’s so ridiculous he literally told his friend there was gonna be a college girl at his house. and he told me that you were too hot for me” that one made me giggle. ty said he smacked his brother for that one lol. i said “well i think you’re too hot for me. i mean look at you” he said “what the fuck are you talking about. i’m the luckiest guy in the world for managing to snag you” which 🥺🥺🥺 he was driving so i leaned over and kissed his cheek. bc it was so cute. and kate🙈🙈🙈 bestie 🙈🙈🙈 im only telling you this (and my other anon friends) bc i trust you guys. i havent told anyone else 🙈 but… i was really close to saying the three words to him 🙈🙈 really really close. but i got scared 🙈 it feels too soon. or that maybe its just in my head bc of what his mom said. idk.

(3) i maybe repeated some of this bc i forgot where i left off. we drove around some more. parked and walked around at a few stops. i maybe asked him about his hs gf 🙈 he said they werent really compatible and she was nice but they were better as friends and dated more bc of the pressure of dating. he was very open and honest about it though and that just made me more 🥺 we went to a park with a really nice overlook. then you have to walk through a forest and theres another more secluded one. we were going to kiss but i said “did you take all the girls here” and he said “no, i actually only ever came here alone. youre the only one” and i gave him a 🥺 look. he was a little pink. and i really really wanted to say it again 🙈 but i just kissed him instead. and then we made out 🙈🙈 for a decent amount of time actually. it felt like we were the ones in hs lol. then we were gonna go back. but our lips were a little swollen and red 🙈 so we went to get ice cream instead. then we went back to ty’s. his brother made a comment about us being gone for a while and was smirking. ty flicked him😭 oh and omg kate this was so cute 🥺 so they have these really cute lights in their backyard. his mom is super trendy lol. and they had music playing the whole time. eventually everyone went inside. they refused to let me help bc i had helped enough. i told ty i wanted to sit outside some more. it was so cute out there. the music was playing softly and i was cuddled up with ty and wearing his sweatshirt. it was a good vibe and i wanted to enjoy it.

(4) so we were sitting there quietly. he was just rubbing my shoulder with his thumb since his arm was around my shoulders. and then omg kate 🙈 this is so cheesy 🙈 thinking out loud by ed sheeran came on. ty got up and held his hand out. and asked “dance with me?” i had the biggest grin on my face and nodded. so we danced in his backyard 🙈 just like swayed back and forth nothing fancy. he was spinning me around and i was laughing. eventually we weren’t even dancing just laughing and swaying and trying to get each other to spin 🙈🙈🙈 until he finally pulled me in and we swayed again. i really almost said it again 🙈 but then he leaned down and kissed me. it was soft and sweet. we didnt stay out too long after that. but then we got ready for bed and stuff and he ran downstairs bc his brother used his phone charger and left it downstairs. and when he came back up he was so red. and i was like “are you good? did you just run a marathon or something?” and he flopped down on the bed next to me and groaned. he goes “my whole family saw that” and i said “saw what” and he goes “us dancing and the kiss. i just got hardcore roasted” and then i was like “oh” and he goes “my mom and sister think were adorable. my dad said i need to learn how to dance” which made me laugh. and then he goes “my brother told me my kissing game was weak and my mom glared at him and said it was respectful, which is how you should treat girls.” i hid my face in his chest and said ty this is so embarrassing. he said “your fault for laughing so hard it got their attention” but he said it jokingly lol. i said “maybe take your dads advice and learn to dance so i dont have to laugh” which made him laugh and squeeze my side. that made me squeal and i go oh no that was so loud. tyler was cracking up. but then he got serious and told me he was glad i was getting along with his family 🥺 he told me i fit with them well and that hes glad i was able to bond with his siblings, especially his sister 🥺🥺🥺

(4? 5? fuck i forgot again) and then today i woke up first before anyone else. so i threw on tyler’s sweatshirt and went and sat outside again. just enjoyed the morning. ty’s mom came out and asked me how i slept and all that. then told me she saw us two dancing last night. and she told me her son was clearly in l-word with me and then she smirked over her coffee mug and said “i think the feelings mutual” and took a sip of her drink. SHES SUCH A SAVAGE 🙈🙈🙈 i took a sip of my coffee just so i didnt have to respond and i could feel my whole face was on fire. but then she goes “you two are really sweet and im glad you make him so happy” and i said “he makes me happy too. you raised a great guy” and she smiled at me. then she told me stories about her and her husband meeting and stuff. and also about raising tyler. then his dad came out and brought breakfast. he also added in some stories. oh and his mom asked for my number and she sent me a few pictures she took of me and ty when we were sitting outside and when we were dancing 🙈🙈 idk how neither of us noticed them watching us through the window. but the pictures were cute. ty and his brother came downstairs and also ate with us. then ty and i went on a walk around their neighborhood which was nice and peaceful. when we got back we chilled with his family some more. his sister was awake too and asked me to help her with makeup. so we went to her room. and she was like “you and my brother are cute” 🥺 and she goes “that kiss was like a movie kiss” and i blushed 🙈 she told me how she hasnt had her first kiss and asked me about mine and stuff. it was kinda cute that she trusted me to like ask questions and be open. she was more open about her crush too and told me how he talked to her yesterday and gushed about how cute he was. i just let her go with it lol. and then she told me it was nice having a girl to talk to like a sister bc she cant talk to her brothers about that stuff 🥺🥺 so i told her if she ever wanted to talk she could reach out to me. so now she follows me on insta and has my number lol. then we sat with the fam again and had lunch and then it was time for ty and i to leave. everyone in his family gave me a hug 🥺 and they told me i should visit again 🥺 so it started off really scary but his family dynamic is so cute and they were all nice.

[kibybun]

Teacher Hawks au

tw: grooming, murder, yandere, stalking

Enjoy!

🍎Over time less and less crimes had been happening and villains seemed to disappear or go into hiding. Heroes, being rendered useless, have to pursue different jobs. Most end up being teachers, mainly highschool teachers unless they choose to work with younger kids.

🍎Hawks was excited to no longer have the hero hierarchy and was more than happy to become a teacher. Him and Mirko teach zoology.

🍎It was a new year and the duo were very excited for the next set if kids. They have only been teaching for roughly two years but they seemed to have all the tricks down.

🍎That's when he saw you.

🍎You were a quiet kid but always had a witty remark to those who dare tease you. You fascinated him.

🍎To start off the first day everyone did introductions. Names, ages, quirk, and one thing you like. Everyone boasted about their quirk mainly but you were different. When it came time for you to give your introduction you only stated your first name and that you like wasps.

🍎Everyone was confused. Mr. Hawks tried to ask you about your quirk but you only gave you a bored stare. Adorable.

🍎After your introduction he didnt care to listen to the others. He only wanted to know more about you, even if you clearly didnt want him to.

🍎Then you left to go to first period. He felt odd. He didnt want you to leave his sight.

🍎As the day goes on you see your homeroom teacher almost periodically. As you walk from class to class you'll see a red feather or his face beaming at you. Even at lunch, when you tried to hide from all the judgemental looks from everyone else, he found you. He even sat with you and the two of you ate lunch together. Then you'd see him again at the end of the day for your last period. This became the routine.

🍎Mr. Hawks was more than ecstatic. Not only was he getting to know more about his favorite student but they were starting to trust him too!

🍎Today was different though. You seemed happier and more giddy. He approached you as the bell rang and asked why you were beaming so bright.

🍎You happily explain that you were asked out by the cutest boy you know.

🍎That's when his world shatters.

🍎How could you fall someone besides him? He was always there for you even when no one else was. He knew all your problems before you did, he would always take care of you and provide you an amazing life unlike that pubescent boy.

🍎That night he stalked you as you went on your date. In your opinion it was going lovely but in Mr. Hawks he thought it was torture. He had to suffer watching you hold onto that boy when you should be held by a man like him.

🍎He continues to watch the two of you for the next two months or so. You start talking to him less and less. Your lunchtimes together seem so distant in his memories. He hates this.

🍎That night, after your little date with this boy ends, he follows him home. He waits untill he's asleep to kidnap him and dispose of the body, not before mutilating it beyond recognition. He uses the boy's phone to write you a break up message.

🍎It hurt him to think about how this would hurt you but it was nessicary. He made sure to target personal issues to hurt you farther, he can't have you trying to go and find him.

🍎The next day you come to school a wreck. Eyes red and puffy with a look of anger imprinted on your face.

🍎He tries to talk to you before you travel to first period but you brush him off. He's hurt but he understands.

🍎At break he goes out and buys you your favorite dessert. It was a hidden apology for making you hurt so bad.

🍎At lunch he finds you crying at some hidden part if the school. He slowly pulls you into a hug and rocks you back and forth. You cling onto him, bot realizing it was your teacher, just in dire need of something to ground you.

🍎From that day forward Mr. Hawks became more touchy with you. Bringing you more gifts and showering you in compliments. At the time you didnt notice the red flags, you enjoyed it too much. Feeling wanted and loved.

🍎Days turn into weeks as you continue to spend quality time with you zoology teacher, always being pampered in gifts. Today was no different when he showed up with a tiny bracelet with a little wasp charm on it for you.

🍎It wasnt untill last period that you noticed that he was more antsy than usual. You go up to him after class and ask him what's wrong. You were more than shocked when he asked you out on a date.

🍎You take a moment before answering yes. You simply thought it was a friend date. Why would he find romantic interest in you?

🍎As the two of you meet up from coffee and walking around the autum park, he tells you to call him Keigo. It was awkward to call your teacher by his first name but you got used to it.

🍎The date was nice, ending in a warm hug. He seemed to really like your hugs, you didnt mind his.

🍎Slowly the two of you continue going on more and more dates, still thinking of him as just a friend. Dont be mistaken, he was very attractive but it just felt wrong thinking about dating your bestfriend/teacher.

🍎Today the two of you went and watched a movie. It was a cheesy romance but nonetheless you enjoyed it. He was walking you home when it turned weird. You said goodbye and hugged him but he pulled away, slowly dragging your face closer to him.

🍎You abruptly pull away and question what he's doing. He looks flustered as he explains he was trying to kiss you.

🍎You look at him disturbed. What would he try and kiss you?

🍎He then confesses to you, looking for any sign that you felt the same. You didnt. You run inside your house to hide from him. Monday was going to be real awkward.

🍎Monday comes around and you try you best at avoiding him but fail. There always seems to be red feathers floating nearby and often times he was too. He even left little gifts on you desks in your different classes.

🍎People kept teasing you saying you had a secret admirer. Part of that was true you suppose.

🍎Slowly his gifts become more intimate, causing you to blush. You can feel his eyes stare at you as you look into the little yellow bag containing undergarments that were decorated with bees. You hate to admit it but you love it. You get home and try it on.

🍎You look at yourself in the mirror when your phone bings. You shake and almost drop your phone.

🍎"My gift looks so nice on you".

🍎You've had enough. You rip it off of you, get dressed and block his number in a panicked frenzy. You run downstairs and tell your parents. They dont believe you at first but as you tell them how he bought you numerous gifts they realize the severity.

🍎They let you stay home the rest of the week, promising to transfer you to another school.

🍎You take your week off and throw out all the gifts you've gotten from him except one. The little bracelet you got. He was your bestfriend, those memories cant just so easily be forgotten.

🍎You go to bed, excited for your parents to call the school the next day to transfer you. When you wake up you arent as excited.

🍎You wander your house calling out to your mom and dad. The house was silent and there was no sign of them. You give up and go back to your room. You look at the window and freeze in horror. There on the glass was a big bloody handprint. Next to it was a heart.

🍎You fall to the floor defeated. You had no one. If you go back to school you're sure his advances will get more intense but you cant just run away. You just want to belong and be loved.

🍎He always loved you.

🍎You continue to think about all the things he has done for you. Comforting you, listening, cheering you up, getting you little gifts nearly every day. Everything he has done for you was so kind and thoughtful.

🍎Maybe he'd take care of you if you apologized. Maybe you could live out a luxurious life with this handsome man. You were still only 16, you couldn't go out and live your life.

🍎You slowly get up and walk to school. You didnt care that people were looking at you, you just wanted to feel safe again. You just wanted to be loved. You just wanted to be with him.

This was kinda bad but I'll fine tune it later!

Kiby~💚

[wavbleu]

So stereotypical- jacob elordi

No warnings or tags

____________________________________

I jumped into a high toe touch waving my green and yellow pom-poms in the air, yelling at the top of my lungs "Go leopards go!" , they were a few points away from winning the game.

The crowd grew in volume as the team worked there way to the touchdown line.

The stadium went silent and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife, everyone was on the edge of there seats, watching the one football player, #25 make his way to the touchdown line, i began to bite my fingernails. We needed to win this game.

Thats when he scored the touchdown, the leopard allies went wild, people were ringing bells and the football players were doing chest bumps. Another L for the Lions.

I clapped my pom-poms and did a back flip, cheering with joy.

After a few minutes of celebration people began to leave, that was my cue.

"Come on girls, back to the locker rooms." I said to my fellow cheermates, the all followed me in a single filed order, back to the locker rooms to change.

(tiny time skip)

It was pretty dark, 11:00 pm to be exact, It was an away game and when you have busy parents they will never be able to show, so i have to drive myself. I always had a strange feeling in my guts when it came to walking in dark parking lots but like hey woman things.

I opened my car door and threw my cheer bag in the passenger seat, thats when i heard a voice call for me, i turned around and saw Jacob, the head of the football team, "#25" he was sitting in the back of his truck, drinking a beer.

Jacobs P.O.V

_________________________________

"Hey." I called out to the pretty girl, she turned her head and looked at me, her eyes widened and her expression grew confused. "Yea I'm talking to you." I would give her a light smirk assuring her that im not some crazy person.

"Hi Jacob." She would come up to me giving me a light smile, "Want a beer? I know your tired" I offered her a beer, "Oh no , I dont drink beer." She waved her hand at it in disapproval.

"I have White Claw if that suits your interest, Princess." A cute, angry face grew, "Im not a princess." I nodded sarcastically and laughed.

She took a seat next to me, snatching the White claw from my hand, I chuckled. "Nice game today." She nudged my elbow "Thanks" i say. The silence was killing me softly.

She then popped open the drink, it let out a loud "szzz" until some of it spilled on her sweatpants and shirt. "Shit." She mumbled frustrated.

We both went to grab the towel, making our hands meet, "Sorry." I apologize, beginning to blush, her hand felt like silk and was small and cute, i could fiddle with her fingers all day. She started to wipe off her hands and her pants and shirt, drying it of the liquids.

"I dont think i really remember your name." I question her, "Was it Y/n" i say with a questionable tone in my voice, she then nodded and gave me a smirk. 

"Oh yea! Your in my chemistry class! i copy off your work all the time." I giggle, "Well i suck in that class so good luck." She stated with a small chuckle.

"But you always get good grades in that class, i dont understand." I commented, "I have my ways." she went to sip her drink.

My mind began to ponder, what the fuck does she do to maintain a 95+ thats when it hit, "Oh my god do you suck the teachers dick?" I scrunched my nose in disgust, our chemistry teacher was old and grainy, his dick must be old and shriveled up to. "NO, My parents are very good with there words.." She claimed.

I didn't buy it, not for a second. "You liar you deep throat his dick every day just to keep a good grade." I snapped at her, " And so what if i fucking did, its working aye!" She argued back.

feisty, i like her.

"I already told you my parents are lawyers and lawyers have a great way with there words." she recited, "Okay." I chuckled, finishing off my beer.

The silence grew again.

I glanced at her and examined her body a bit she was shivering and her cheeks were red, the wind blew cold air right at her and her tiny body couldn't take it .

"Here" I turned behind me and grabbed the large blue fleece blanket, wrapping it around her. "Aren't you cold?" She says in a worried tone, i looked her deep into her big eyes, they were full of worry and care.

"Ill be fine." continuing to take another sip of my second beer I was actually really cold but i didn't want to invade her personal space or force myself onto her, The last thing i wanted was for her to become uncomfortable around me.

"You should go easy on those." she said taking the bottle from me. "You need to stay sober and drive."

I loved how she tried to make it seem like she didn't care but she actually cares, a-lot, she reminds me of.. me.

I tried to hide my shivers but that failed tremendously, "Dude just take the blanket with me." She said opening her arms.

I scooted into her arms and she attempted to put the blanket over me, i was twice her size , it was cute watching her throw the blanket over my shoulder repeatedly.

"How about we lay down instead." I said with a light chuckle, "Please."  she insisted.

We laid on the back of the truck looking at the beautiful stars in the sky, it was like those teenage indie movies but better acting.

"Even though we just had our proper introduction, i really like you, i can kinda see myself through you." I said in a sincere and empathetic tone.

She turned to me and looked at me with those beautiful eyes, i stared right back at her, "You make me feel safe." her glance went down to my lips then back at my eyes.

The moonlight hit her skin, making it glitter and glow, her lips were pink and plump and kissable, her hair was as soft as silk. Her eyes were dark and full of mystery.

I couldn't resist not kissing her, it was a small smooch before i pulled back. Hoping she would consent to it.

She swiftly leaned in for a longer, more intense and passionate kiss, who knew i would kiss a girl i barely knew for atleast an hour, but at the same time it felt like we have been talking for years before.

I began to tower myself over her, the pace of the kiss quickening, i lightly grabbed her neck and began to kiss around her ears, she let out a light, and sexy moan.

"Do you want me to slow down?" i say with heavy breaths following, "No." she says , attaching her rosy and sweet lips back onto mines.

I lowered my grip down to her full, breasts.

"Please~" she softly begged with a neck roll, the need  was filling her up fastly, to keep up I took off the great sweatshirt she had on, revealing her perfect boobs, covered with a dark green laced bra. 

We were really about to have sex in a empty parking lot in the back of a black truck, with no regards.

I went behind her and detached the bra with 1 hand, letting it come lose, I connected my mouth to one of her boobs, she let out a whimper as i plastered bright red hickeys all around it.

"Are you a virgin?" I ask, unbuckling my pants. She nods her head no, i give her a mischievous smirk before i tower myself over her again.

I smoothly slid down her pants, following her panties, she gave my sexy and hungry stare which made me even harder.

I threw the blanket over us for some.. privacy, then i slid into her, she let out a gasp at my size. I felt her hands dig into my back as she moaned into my ear, every stroke i gave her.

I began picking up speed, I grabbed her neck with a tight grip and whispered dirty things into her ear, "You feel that baby?" I say sitting up, holding her legs open, i could feel her wanting to close them from embarrassment of how much she enjoyed it, but i held them wide open. She whimpered as she felt like she had no control.

I pressed onto her pelvis area, i could almost feel my dick inside of her.

While she was in a vulnerable position i took the chance to start rubbing her sensitive clit with my thumb, Her breath hitched at the pain so pleasurable.

I pulled out then flipped her around in a swift motion, she let out a squeal from being so startled.

I slapped her bare ass, it jiggled and left a bright red hand print on it in response.  I slowly re-entered myself back into her tight insides. I put my hands on her waist to arch her back, giving me a deeper thrust right onto her g-spot, the sound of her cheeks clapping and her screams filled the air.

"Fuck me!~" She would yell in a deeper more erotic tone, I could tell and feel that she was close to cumming. Her insides tightened, perfectly hugging itself around my cock.

"Im gonna-" She said before abruptly stopping herself from throwing her ass back onto me, her legs began shaking and her whole body was trembling "Fuuc-" She said with a gasp, i smirked mischievously as i watched her turn into a slutty mess.

I slowed down for a bit to make sure she didn't get over-stimulated, allowing herself to calm down so we could continue.

I lifted her by her throat, sliding my two long fingers down her throat making her gag, "Suck." i would forcefully demand, she obeyed.

I started to pick up speed once again, i was getting closer to my breaking point. She could tell because she began tightening herself onto me, I couldn't take it any more, I put her back on all fours then grabbed onto her waist again, beginning to pound her into oblivion.

"Fuck!" I would grunt as she squirted all over me, My thrusts became unbelievably sloppy, "Cum in me~" She would politely ask.

After a few more deep and rough pounds i unleashed all of my creamy cum into her, I could barely breathe from the pain of that, but it felt so amazing.

I pulled out of her the juices dripped all over the back of the truck. Tired, I hunched over her, laying my head on her back, trying to catch a breather from what we just did.

____________________________________

[boasamishipper]

Ethan and Iceman for the character asks?

*arrives to this ask fifty years late with Starbucks*

Ethan Hunt

Why I like them: he’s just so genuinely kind and good and cares about humanity and his team and the world so much. also yes he is the living manifestation of destiny and very intelligent and capable in the field, but he’s also a dork and a nerd and his very seriously asking benji in the middle of the RN car chase if he had his seatbelt on basically endeared me to him forever.

Why I don’t: n/a - but also, like. ethan, PLEASE take care of yourself.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): tie between the opening of RN where he literally clings to the side of a plane as it’s taking off and his wedding to julia in mi3, if only because he looks so happy and it makes me so happy for him in turn. (also him awkwardly apologizing for disrupting that funeral in Fallout in the middle of the chase scene was just. Peak Comedy.)

Favorite season/movie: Fallout.

Favorite line: tie between “mission accomplished!!! [surprised pikachu]” in Ghost Protocol, “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” in Fallout (bc mood), and just ethan’s entire expression after benji is like ‘yeah you can hold your breath for three minutes, that’s nothing!’ in RN.

Favorite outfit: 

OTP: julia/ethan, benji/ethan, luther/ethan, hunley/ethan, brassel/ethan, ethan/jack

Brotp: ethan&luther, ethan&benji, ethan&jane, ethan&ilsa, ethan&jack, ethan&lindsey

Headcanon: ethan has a heavy midwestern accent that only slips out when he’s drunk or tired.

Unpopular opinion: he is NOT a generic action movie protagonist with no personality (glares at Screenrant)

A wish: let him be happy and alive at the end of mi8

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: mcquarrie if i have to watch ethan hunt die onscreen i will hunt you down and beat you up in the paramount parking lot.

5 words to best describe them: kind, determined, loyal, empathetic, clever.

My nickname for them: n/a

Iceman Kazansky

Why I like them: i love his hair and his face and his very pretty eyes (whose color i can STILL not discern after many rewatches) but more than that, i love that despite his absolutely warranted confidence in himself (and as a pilot), he still appreciates mav’s outside the box thinking - he specifically calls mav out for being unsafe, and never accuses him of being a bad pilot - and he’s got a big heart (as evidenced by the ‘i’m sorry about goose’ scene which gives me All The Feels to this day) behind those ice cold walls.

Why I don’t: n/a

Favorite episode (scene if movie): tie between the entire ‘i’m sorry about goose scene’ and his introduction in the O Club. the #bde was through the roof. (also Why Were You Wearing Sunglasses Inside, Ice. Was That All Part Of Your Plan.)

Favorite season/movie: Top Gun and TG2 if they don’t kill him

Favorite line: “You can be my wingman anytime.”

Favorite outfit: gotta love how the only times he’s seen in in the movie, he’s either in uniform or shirtless and/or only in a towel lmao. (not that i’m complaining.) my favorite outfit of his is probably this though:

OTP: iceman/maverick

Brotp: iceman&slider, iceman&goose

Headcanon: ice has an older sister who’s an air force pilot and five inches taller than him (and never lets him forget it).

Unpopular opinion: iceman kazansky is jewish, i don’t make the rules.

A wish: i’m always out here wishing for canon icemav, but @ mcq please just let him and mav be friends (and have a wingman hug).

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: as much as i don’t want to see ice die, i don’t want canon to clint barton him and randomly give him a wife and children and a farmhouse even more. ALSO i have been hearing speculation that hangman in tg2 is ice’s son, which. PLEASE don’t let that happen and let hangman be a rival to bradley in his own right.

5 words to best describe them: confident, loyal, intelligent, disciplined, caring. (bonus word: dramatic)

My nickname for them: ice.

send me a character!

[justanotherweedinthelawn]

For the prompt list, maybe ”I'm sorry for asking.” with an s/o that asks to be in a poly relationship with Tenko and Himiko after realizing they're in love with both of them? I think this would be a pretty cute idea. 🥰

Oh my god you're right that is a really cute idea anon! I hope I do it justice. ;v; Sorry if Tenko and/or Himiko are ooc btw, I dont know too, too much about their in-game personalities. This is also probably my longest post so far, so yeah. Lemme know if you want a rewrite! Stay safe!

S/o confesses to Tenko and Himiko and ask to be in a poly relationship after realizing they're in love with both of them

You had begun talking to Tenko because she had been walking around the school advertising a magic show between classes. She pretty much went up to every person she saw and at least gave them a flyer. When you saw her walking up to you, you were actually kind of excited. You honestly had your eyes on her for the past week or so. She had just. Caught your eye if you're being honest. You weren't entirely sure why. Maybe it was her enthusiasm.. or maybe her beautiful long hair put into those twisted twintails.. or-

"Hey, there's going to be a magic show on Saturday! You should totally come!"

"O-oh.. uhh.. yeah! Yeah, I'll be there!"

"Seriously?! Thank you! Here's a flyer with more info!"

She hands you a flyer that's pretty well made.

'Come see the amazing Himiko preform tonight!'

That was the header of the flyer. The rest was some info about 'The amazing Himiko' and where she was performing. There was also a picture of her in the middle doing a magic trick.

Oh fuck shes actually kinda cute-

What the hell? You thought you were attracted to Tenko?! Welp. The only way to find out if you're actually attracted to 'The amazing Himiko' is to go to her show.

Well.. you were already planning on going, but you know what you mean!

Saturday comes faster than you anticipate, and you already find yourself in the school gymnasium where the magic show was being held. You walk in and see at least a small group of people in some chairs. You take a seat and like the others wait for the show to begin.

After about 5 minutes, the same girl on the flyer appears on a small stage. She gives an introduction speech and the show begins. She actually performs some really cool tricks!

After the show, everyone else leaves, but you figured right now was better than ever to confront Tenko. And now that you knew you seemed to have a crush on this Himiko girl, might as well talk to them both.

So you walk over to them and introduce yourself.

"Uh, hey, my name is y/n. I just wanted to say that that was really impressive!"

"Nyeh? You really think so?"

"Heck yeah!"

After that, you started talking with the two in the halls, going to lunch together, then outside of school, and soon enough, you three would all hang out often.

Tonight was movie night.

You were so excited, you could barely sit still in your seat during your classes. When lunch came, you noticed Tenko wasnt there.

"Hey Himiko, where's Tenko?"

"Nyeh? Oh, she's sick."

Sick? On movie night? Would it be canceled?

You ask Himiko if movie night is canceled, hoping it's not, as it was the only thing you were looking foward to today.

"Well, I thought we should let her get better and reschedule, but Tenko said she was fine, and that if it got worse, she would reschedule."

Oh thank heavens.

After school, you and Himiko walk to Tenko's house together, which is where you three decided to have movie night tonight. You two walk in and see Tenko on her couch, seemingly half asleep.

"Tenko?"

"Huh..? Oh!"

She immediately jolts up after realizing it's you two.

"Sorry theres no snacks, I'll go get some."

She gets up and slowly walks to the kitchen as you two walk in and close the door. You stop Tenko before she reaches the kitchen.

"You sit down. I'll handle the snacks."

"But-"

"No buts. You're sick. Now go, sit."

You turn Tenko around and lightly push her towards the couch. She complies and sits down next to Himiko, who begins talking to her. You begin making snacks. Popcorn, some drinks, etc., plus some soup for Tenko. (It was canned, so you weren't sure if it was actually gonna do anything, but the gesture was still there.)

After you're done making snacks, you sit down next to Himiko. You realize Tenko had gotten up. You look around a little trying to see where she went, when you suddenly see Tenko headed straight for you two with a giant blanket. You barely have time to react before Tenko tackles you both, hugging you close.

Tenko begins laughing and you two join her. Once you three get settled in the blanket on the couch, you begin to pick out a movie.

You three decide on watching the classic, A Nightmare On Elm Street. After you three watch that, you kinda just put on a cheesy romance film so you can just relax.

You three end up snuggling up close and falling asleep. Before you fell asleep, you had a thought about how nice this was, and how you wish it could last forever. After you fell asleep, you had an amazing dream where all three of you were just huddled close and sitting peacefully in a field.

Then, Himiko kisses you.

You immediately shoot awake, your face going red. As you begin to calm down, you start to think about it.

You absolutely had feelings for both of them.

You didnt wanna choose between them though...

Was there a way to..?

You doubted it.

But the thought just kept appearing. It had literally been two days and you kept wondering.

Alright, that's enough.

As soon as you got home, you got onto your computer to do some research.

It only takes you a few minutes to find out about polyamorous relationships. You do some deeper digging for about an hour before coming to the conclusion that you think you want to be in a polyamorous relationship with the two people you love the most.

But would they agree on it?

You hoped so, especially since the two had known eachother for longer than you had known them.

You decided to wait until your next hangout to ask them. Luckily, the next hangout was at your house, so you decide to do something special.

You three were supposed to have a study session together and then have a sleepover.

So you decide to add a few things you hope mix all three of your personalities and interests.

You three had given eachother access to each others music playlists, so you decide to take a bunch of songs from all of your playlists and put them into one special playlist. You even add in a few songs that just remind you of the three of you.

You buy some magic supplies that Himiko particularly likes, and you also grab a spare yoga mat you have so you can make some padding for Tenko to practice some of her moves on. You had also added a few things you liked.

You had also decided to buy a little projector that projects a galaxy onto the ceiling as if you were stargazing outside. The galaxy even moved as if it were the real sky! A few shooting stars pop up as well at some points.

And to top it all off, you had bought everyone's favorite snacks.

*Knock, knock, knock*

Perfect.

You answer the door and see two beautiful smiling faces that you adored.

"Come on in!"

You three complete your study session in about three hours, with Himiko almost falling asleep about four times.

At this rate you were afraid Himiko wasnt even gonna stay awake long enough for your confession.

They were also a little shocked by the special playlist.

"Who's music are we gonna play for this session?"

"Well actually, I made a special playlist with a mix of our songs on it, if you'd like to play it."

"Woah, really y/n? Of course we're gonna play it! You worked hard on it afterall!"

You play it, and you find its actually really nice to have a mix of songs you all love.

After that, you three head to your room for the sleepover part of your hangout.

You tell the two about your setup of activities and they both smile.

"Wow y/n, you really did a lot for this hangout!"

"Yeah.. just felt like doing something special today."

"Well me and Himiko really appreciate it!"

Tenko then grabs you and Himiko and hugs the two of you close.

You feel your heart stop and your face grow red.

Oh my god they're sO CUTE-

You three each do separate activities and show off for a few hours while eating snacks. Himiko didnt even seem to be tired, so you hoped she would last until your confession.

After you three show off to eachother, you all lie down and you turn on the little projector, to which you smile.

Perfect.

This is perfect.

"Hey, are you guys still awake?"

"Yep."

"Mhmm."

"I wanted to ask you guys something really important."

Tenko sits up.

"Yeah of course, what's up?"

Your heart begins racing faster than Usain Bolt and you can feel your face grow as red as an apple, and you are so glad the other two cant see you right now.

"I- er- uh..."

You sit up as well.

"I... like you guys.."

You barely whisper it, but they seem to hear you.

Himiko sits up surprisingly quick and you can see Tenko go wide eyed.

"Huh?"

"Wha?!"

You get up and turn the light on so you can see their faces.

Tenko is indeed wide eyed and her face looks like someone had painted it red.

Himiko is also wide eyed and almost as red as her hair.

"Are.. are you serious y/n?"

"Yes. One hundred percent."

"Well.. I think I like you too. I just never really wanted to acknowledge it.."

"Really?"

"Yeah.."

"Himiko?"

"Nyeh.. I uh.. I like you too.."

So that part went well.

Now for the bigger question.

"Do you guys wanna.. be in a polyamorous relationship?"

...

Both of them seemed to grow confused.

"I'm sorry for asking, that was kinda sudden!"

Tenko gets up and walks towards you.

She has a soft smile on her still flushed face.

"We have no idea what that means y/n."

"Oh."

You sit back down and end up explaining what a polyamorous relationship is, and throughout it you can feel your face get warmer, and you can see the same happening to Himiko and Tenko.

After you're done explaining, the room is silent, but all of you were extremely red.

"Sooo..."

"I agree."

Tenko said that and you looked up to see her looking at you with the same soft smile.

You loved that smile.

She took both of your hands into hers.

"I really do like- no- love, both of you. I've honestly had a crush on Himiko for the longest time. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything like y/n. But.. now that you're both here, my life truly is complete."

Wow. You had always suspected Tenko had a thing for Himiko.

"Nyeh.. I swear, if you two get any cuter, I'm gonna kiss you."

You turn around to look at Himiko who was smiling.

"I love you both as well."

You're heart flutters at this.

The two people you loved the most were now your lovers.

Lovers. Heh. You never thought this dream would come true.

Himiko did in fact kiss you two, and you both kissed her back. It was really cute, but clearly none of you knew how to kiss.

[docmurph12]

Ok review time!! Been a while, its good to be back. Im a little behind on requests so the first is going to be one from my wife, who I think chose this because she wants to simultaneously torture me and because she doesn't like it either and wants to confirm the quality (or lack thereof). At the least I know this movie split audiences, and I know the music, while.......well enough composed is painfully simple and bland to the point of being tropey. It will be interesting enough to see how they manage to Disney-ize the world's best known racist exploitative exhibitionist. If you wanna know I'll do 5 about Barnum at the end, for the sake of historical reference.

To start, Hugh Jackman is predictably fantastic vocally. I absolutely loved him in Les Miserables and he is definitely in voice here. The interesting thing I noticed is that the music is REALLY canned, but mostly its not a bad thing. It's just really obvious they did the music in ADR style recordings after or maybe even before the fact. It is REALLY clean and sometimes is just a touch jarring that the performer's movements don't seem to appear at all audibly. It is all very well mixed though, the sound effects are not at all distracting, but also not distractably absent (Thanks CATS for making that a thing I notice now).

The movie is very well shot, this early in the film the thing thats bugging me is that they have some great shots, but they never let anything sit. There are a lot of cuts. I am obviously a fan of long shots, but you have to let the shot sit for a second. Camera movement is not a bad thing, and it adds a little continuity and relation to your characters to your visual storytelling. Watch how David Fincher tends to use a camera. Looooong cuts that precisely follow character movements. Lots of this is his specific style but man it draws you in.

Interesting introduction to Zack Efron's character. He is an awful big actor (with what im understanding will be a big part) to have been introduced with nothing more than a throwaway line about a specific rich family that hasn't been mentioned at all prior to this. Kind of removes the stakes or any level of interest in who this person even is or why Barnum wants him involved at all.

I really liked the scene transition from the bar to the circus. Well shot, interesting visual trickery, nice use of long cut shots to establish where you are supposed to be, so that when it changes incrementally it is very visually stunning and exciting.

The bearded lady has a trash application. Im surprised that made it into a big budget tent pole film. My God is that thing bad.

The whole "This is Me" "Rise up" thing really is tragic considering the people who were basically used by Barnum never were anything to him but a money making venture. They were made celebrities under Barnum but arguably never made what they deserved with him, and after the fact were still ridiculed and shamed. In fact riots were started because of Barnum's "den of evil".

Man, Zack Efron slays with his voice but he totally just bounced Zendaya's head off the ground. Holy shit.

Interesting that the one thing negative they focus on with Barnum is his inability to focus his energy on his family and the trouble it got him into.

Oh hey that's Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. Strange that its not even a bit part that he got. He's awesome. Shame they didn't use his talent to better effect. I really enjoy watching his performances. I mean the awfully bearded lady got more of a speaking role than one of the most talented actors on the cast.

Nice that some of the performances later in the film appear to be recorded live. Hugh Jackman should really have gone whole hog in performing live for the whole film. He's really very good.

The choreography in this is remarkably complex. They had to have spent a crazy amount of time in rehearsals on this, especially on the pieces in smaller spaces.

Oh man the VFX of Tom Thumb riding the elephant was REALLY bad. I wasn't sure if it was just me when I saw it earlier in the movie when he was riding the horse, but nope. Just bad.

And of course the obligatory positive quote from the famous historical main character.

Alright so the final verdict. This wasn't the atrocious train wreck I thought it was going to be. That said, there were a lot of things that left me pretty disappointed. The devil truly is in the details and there were things that had me wondering how they got through the final approval door. Bad makeup/prosthetics, good audio mixes combined with jarring combinations of live and pre/post recorded music, inconsistency in the editing room in terms of length of shots for effect, oddly throwaway introductions of main characters, bad VFX and unused talent really leave one wanting more out of this. Now the really tragic thing here is that there might be a way better film here if they grimed it up and really went for the more accurate story of PT Barnum, a little closer to "There Will Be Blood", where the tale of narcissism driven obsession of exploitation and profit takes center stage. Folks please let it be known this is just a movie. PT Barnum was not a good person. He exploited people for profit, and continued to put people on display as freaks in spite of the negative attention it brought them. THE EXHIBITION WAS KNOWN COMMONLY AS A DEN OF EVIL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE AND ALL HE DID WAS LABEL THESE PEOPLE AS FREAKS AND PUT THEM ON DISPLAY. He was only a philanthropist in the sense that for him to be so, he needed to see a profit on the back end. If you really need to know how bad things were take a second and look up the name Joice Heth. You might thank me, you probably won't. That said, I truly feel this was a wasted opportunity to tell a well written cautionary tale. Lots of good in this version of the film, but not enough to overshadow some very strange oversights.

Final Verdict?

C-. I dont see myself revisiting this. So much left on the table.

Next up? Either The Platform or Circle (I think that is the name of it). REALLY looking forward to those ones.

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[monicalorandavis]

“Queen & Slim“ is, for the most part, excellent

“Queen & Slim” ends how you expect it to. No, Bonnie and Clyde won’t get away this time. Its soundtrack features no mind-blowing cello renditions of “Bitch Better Have My Money” or other mash-ups of strings in an unexpected way. Which is not to say that the soundtrack is not exactly what you want it to be. It is. (Dev Hynes gifts the world with his rendition of ‘Runnin Away’ that is so good all is forgiven.) Even the performances haunt you with a sense of deja-vu lived-in realness. These are people you might’ve seen across from you at a restaurant and never thought about again.

This is a movie, by and large, that feels like a warm blanket but for whatever reason the metaphoric window was left open, letting the cool air in. An imperfect, near perfect, film. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that was intentional. But more on that later.

First, the acting. The lead actors are grounded and complicated in the way that good performances make your heart feel all those wonderful pangs. Daniel Kaluuya perhaps has the most impeccable taste in Hollywood and Jodie Turner-Smith breaks out in the lead role with an aloofness that feels like a defense mechanism and totally justified.

Next, the directing. Melina Matsoukas delivers on her reputation as one of the most aesthetic young directors in the biz. The film is beautiful and balanced, navigating the grit of deep south dive bars and trap houses with the same attention given to stately mansions and wide open fields. “Queen & Slim” is familiar, and original, so why is the film not wholly and entirely excellent? The answer is complicated.

We have a breakdown in the final link of the holy trinity (of film-making, that is), the writing. The writing is where this thing falters ever so slightly. And, believe me, it doesn’t feel awesome to criticize the very talented Lena Waithe. But a perfect script this is not. So here it goes...

The story suffers, as most things do, from editing - or lack thereof. Now, I will say, the first 10 minutes of the film are a master class in pacing. The action kicks off almost immediately and at times I felt like I was somehow watching a hidden camera show. Everything felt natural and right and weighted and awkward in all the right places.

We open on a diner where our protagonists are on a first date. Neither of them are in a rush to speak. You wonder, is this going poorly...or are these people already relaxed enough to lean into those silences? The answer is both. (While we don’t know either protagonist’s name until the final scene, I’ll refer to our leads for now as ‘He’ and ‘She’.) He is overly familiar and she’s judgmental. An attorney, she’s reached out to him after several weeks because her client has been executed. His feelings are hurt and he seems to be acting out on purpose, smacking his lips and chewing loudly, even eating her food off her plate (although invited to this is a very bold move) and, moreover, behaving a little too cavalier. These are two people who are not on the same page. And yet as soon as they leave said diner, their lives are turned upside down, together. A traffic stop turns into a self-defense killing. She’s even shot in the melee (though this is somehow not taken very seriously). In spite of the large wound across her leg, she insists they must flee and they’ve got to do it right now.

They know (and we know) this story doesn’t end well for them. What’s done is done. This is America. So, Instead of turning on each other, these near perfect strangers, band together and run. We watch a love story in reverse. They protect each other first then learn to love each other later. Now that premise alone is entirely delightful. It taps into my romantic notions of emotionally complicated people learning to love the crazy in someone else. Plus, it is so anti-authority and overdue to have some retributive justice paid to the police. Why not watch these gorgeous black people inflict some hurt onto the failed institution that is policing in our country?

And, again, this film starts so strong. This all happens in the first 7-10 minutes. We are on their side right away. Yes, he killed someone but this cop certainly would’ve killed him. You can judge their decision to skip town as harshly as you choose to, but I got it. Inertia would mean certain death. So in place of a firm plan, they go. And on their journey we encounter a cast of characters that doesn’t always push the story forward. In fact, I don’t know if I loved any of the characters they come across. The first person who offers help to our protagonists winds up in the trunk of a car which was too bad because I rather liked what he contributed to the story. After that, a greasy-haired white gas station attendant successfully gets Daniel Kaluuya’s charcter’s gun in his hands and playfully (I guess) points it at his head. It’s an unnecessary tension. We know he won’t kill him (we have another 90 minutes of movie left!). And, it makes Daniel Kaluuya‘s character seem stupid in a way that isn’t supported by any other information we know about him. He’s a little naive, you could argue, but he’s not dumb. And I would be willing to let those things slide if it didn’t seem to be such a pattern with the introduction of characters. That leads us to my largest issue with the whole film, the protest scene.

Now, with all due respect, what in the world was that protest scene about? It is, for whatever reason, spliced together with the first (and only) love scene of the film. We’ve been waiting patiently for some tenderness, more specifically, for something romantic to finally happen for our main characters. We’ve endured their constant running for their lives and it feels only fair that they get to enjoy their lives, and each other, before the cops eventually pay them back for killing their brother in blue. So, it made absolutely no narrative sense nor, if the filmmakers were going for a larger political theme here, thematic sense to put that love making scene together with aforementioned protest scene. Up until then, I was on board with all editing decisions. But this one simply won’t stand! Their sex scene is passionate and a little dirty (read: fun!). And the whole thing goes down in a baby blue Pontiac Catalina that is absolutely stunning (read: even better). The car alone makes the colors in the frame mesmerizing. Plus, these actors are so nice to look at I simply could not complain. Plus, I appreciated that there were no rose petals or champagne. This was not a pretty, or safe, or delicate love scene. These are two people who have been growing closer and closer to each other and have been so afraid to let their guards down. So when they finally get intimate you can feel their longing. Clothes are flying. The kisses are sloppy. Basically, this is a good old-fashioned good time. So, with all of that being said, why, oh why, would you interject the murdering of a cop in this one moment of romantic passion? The film has been building to our leads getting together. They deserved their moment. Uninterrupted.

Now that was a lot of criticism for a movie that I said was nearly excellent. And that’s fair. So allow me to now herald the film’s strengths because they overshadow the weaknesses that, while few, are distracting.

What this film does well, very well in fact, is depict a complicated circumstance compounded by the complicated reality of being black in America. We don’t see these stories often (or ever). We’ve seen stories about the trauma of slavery, the Civil Rights era, shootings. But we don’t see the subtle stories of racial violence and we rarely see the capacity black people have to love in spite of it all. So “Queen & Slim” is the first of its kind. The police brutality love story. That sounds like a crude oversimplification but this is a story worth watching. And because it is such a new storyform, we are bearing witness to a truly original film. So, naturally, as is the case with all new things, there are some wrinkles to iron out (which I’ve already gone on and on about, dont @ me). But the larger message is one to pay attention to. Black people are being allowed the space here to screw up and still fall in love. Perhaps not a revolutionary concept for you. But to me, this marks this movie as an instant classic. There will be copycats. Remember that this was the first.

Black people in film are rarely afforded the same frivolity and silliness as white characters are. There’s no black version of Ross and Rachel getting married in Vegas. There’s no black “What Happens in Vegas”. I realize now that all of my examples happen in Las Vegas... But let’s go with it. Las Vegas, the hotbed of bad decisions and overindulgence, has largely been depicted as the white person’s playground. That’s not true in real life. Vegas, if nothing else, caters to everybody’s bad decisions. So why don’t we see that on screen? I don’t know. White executives are simply out of touch comes to mind. But what also comes to mind is the larger responsibility black people carry from childhood on. Black kids are punished harsher. They’re given less strikes. So, their lives and, thus, their art don’t often get to be as free from the weight of the world. They don’t get the reckless Crazy Beautiful moment. What a delight it was to see the lead characters be free in this film. It struck me that they were totally free in light (and perhaps because) of the murder of that cop. Somewhere in the back of their mind they were unburdened by responsibility because they were already dead. How tragically beautiful.

So, in spite of my criticism of the plot and editing, know that this film already occupies a special place in my heart. I’m a grown-up. I can love something and see its faults. Isn’t love about accepting something (someone) in spite of their faults? Isn’t that what we witness with Kaluuya and Turner-Smith’s characters in the end? 

And that leads me to the final reason the film is not entirely excellent and the most controversial reason of all: it doesn’t have to be.

Nope. It doesn’t owe you excellence. Just like black people do not have to be excellent to exist in this country. It is not my own idea. It’s an idea thrown out in the first act of the film. Kaluuya’s character retorts to Turner-Smith, “Why do black people feel the need to be excellent...[why can’t they just] be themselves?” And with that, I rest my case.

This film is not entirely excellent because excellent is just another standard, another loop to jump through. Black art doesn’t have to prove anything. This film just is. It is important and honest and deserves to exist.