#Dark Bumper

[clarktooncrossing]

HEY THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT'S ME, CLARK! There is a madness deep in the dark catacombs of Castle Clarkenstein. For years these claustrophobic corridors have been the home of the ghoulish giraffe himself, watching as the world passes by. He prefers it this way. It gives him more time alone with the voices. The voices tell him many strange things. Yet they always come back to one: make more monsters! Everyday they tell him this. Everyday he is unable to comply. Hey, being a mad scientist on a budget means he can’t afford the fancy scientific equipment needed to breathe life into newborn abominations. Guy’s gotta afford pizza somehow. Luckily, he has discovered a way of sorts to please the voices. During all those years of watching, Dr. Clarkenstein noticed a particular pattern. Every night during October saw artists posting new pictures based on peculiar prompts. Many of them based on children of the night. While the spotted specter might not be able to craft new zombies, he can sure as heck sketch’m! As such, I provide this friendly warning to you all now: Be afraid. Few people can survive the horrors that are DUDELZ of the Damned!

By that I mean I decided to do my own take on Sketchtober this year just minus the prompts. Anybody gotta problem with that? Tough, cuz I already drew this crap so you might as well check it out.

Bumper is a mystery. Nobody knows when he died, how long ago the deed was done, or who did it. All we know now is that he is a child-like spirit who can only speak one word: Boo. Despite not knowing much about his own origin, the floating marshmallow is more than contempt with living an adventurous life with his family whenever not making new friends. However, one shouldn’t be caught assuming the friendly specter doesn’t have a dark side. It rarely comes out, but is a sight to behold nonetheless. Revealed only when the spirit is angry or agitated, the small spook becomes a hulking, haunting mass of fear! Gone are his pudgy digits in favor of sharp claws, his round, caring eyes swapped out for white, lifeless dots surrounded by a ghoulish gray, even his Boo becomes a deafening wail! For others this form proves frightening. For the Swamp Gang it’s a sign that the little ghostly goober needs a nap.

Just like this drawing needs an explanation! Back in 2017 I had sketched a ‘scary’ version of Bumper for no particular reason. Whether it was an idea for a story or just a random scribbling didn’t really matter, so the idea was left behind. That is until June of this year when the Dungeon Moron @burningthrucelluloid decided to pull the wool out from under me. During the Curse of Strahd campaign, Crocie managed to find his otherworldly companion within the titular blood sucker’s domicile. However, by then a week had passed and Strahd had gaslit the spirit into thinking the reptile had abandoned him. Why Bumper would believe that when the vampire was the one who torched his original body and held him hostage for all the time is anybody’s guess. Gaps in logic aside, the floating marshmallow transformed a dark, snarling, horrendous version of himself Alec referred to as 'Dark Bumper'. Making it all the more spookier was the fact that I hadn't shown him my sketch until after that session. It was after doing so I realized I shouldn't let a cool design go to waste, thus utilizing it for this DUDEL. Here’s hoping you all enjoy it and that Bumper is really just a double agent.

MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!

HAVING SAID ALL THAT: Two Bumper DUDELZ in a row? Jee Clark, I love the undead goober but don't you have other characters to draw? Yes, and I do plan on drawing more of them soon. However, do to prior art projects demanding my attention, there won't be any more DUDELZ for the next few days. This was the last one I had in the reserves, scheduled to be posted later on this month, but I didn't wanna leave you folks hanging. So here's one last DUDEL before we enter a temporary pause. 

[kaijuno]

I once shamed a cop out of giving me a ticket because he was obviously new and didn’t know his shit and very easily could have caught himself an entrapment case and I sure as fuck let him know

[danrifics]

hii everyone i got home safe!!!!

[setaflow]

"Hell doesn't exist--" wrong. Hell is located here. Hope this helps! 😘 🥰 ❤️

[spoldhamauthor]

Bumper Christmas 2023 Competition!

I enjoyed running those Random Giveaways. They were good fun - you are an inventive bunch! I am missing them. Time to run my bumper Christmas competitions I think.

To be in with a chance of winning a mystery bumper prize, simply answer the question: In my short Christmas ghost story 'Silent Night' which ghostly character haunts the pub?

All correct answers will be entered into a draw and two winners will be picked at random. Competition ends Midnight GMT December 15th. If winners do not come forward, runners up will be chosen. In no way associated with Tumblr. UK ONLY! Good luck!

Hint: A Jester.

[nerdie-faerie]

My hair hasn't seen a professional since pre-pandemic but who cares its cheaper than therapy to do it yourself

[dazzlerazz]

It is about Dark Souls

THANK YOU ANON I LOVE YOU

[green-and-grey]

gonna throw hands with an old lady over parking on our street

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

I have to go to work tomorrow and I fear ibuprofen is the only thing stopping me from killing myself in front of my boss

[beskad]

.

[zentendo]

Dragon Quest Monsters: The Dark Prince Gets Reborn With Version 1.0.3 Update - Monster Wrangling Just Got Sweeter

Dragon Quest fans, assemble! Square Enix hasn’t forgotten about you, and they’re here to prove it with a juicy update for Dragon Quest Monsters: The Dark Prince on Switch. Version 1.0.3 brings a boatload of improvements, bug fixes, and quality-of-life tweaks that make befriending beasties more addictive than ever. Gone are the days of monster egg scarcity – Version 1.0.3 throws open the barn…

[monstersofsilence]

played a bit of Lies Of P

it's really damn fun!

this is the closest thing to a Bloodborne-esque game on modern hardware

why Sony have not put out the green light for a Bloodborne remake or remaster is literally baffling to me

INSTANT MONEY especially considering FromSoft finally gaining huge recognition after their success with Elden Ring, bringing not just die hard fans but also new playerd that never played a SoulsBorne game

anyway, Lies Of P is good so far! I reccommend it to anyone who likes the EldenSoulsBorne games cause these devs seem to get FromSoft's gaming formula so far

I don't usually reccommend games so you know this is serious

I'm not giving any of ya'll a choice .w. (jk)

[grimtaleslb]

my.knee.

[sukunasteeth]

Picking You Up From Work

Sukuna leans on the bumper of his Camaro, hoping a drop of rain doesn’t land perfectly on the tip of his cigarette and snuff it out. He’s pretending not to watch the front door of your workplace, like an anxious dog waiting for his owner to come home, but it’s ten minutes past the time you said you’d be out, and he was ready to take you to his apartment and settle down for the night. It had been a long day- he wanted to forget it in the taste of your whimpering on his tongue.

Customers pass him on their way into your workplace. Sukuna wonders briefly what has them whispering to each other and sneaking glances over at him: the nearly sixty year old car or the man covered in tattoos leaning against it?

Fifteen minutes pass before he checks his phone again. It was unlike you to be late, you knew Sukuna had a pet peeve of not being on time and, despite how hairbrained you were, he knew you tried to meet him halfway. Looking over his shoulder, he peeks at the flowers sitting on the passenger seat waiting for you. If he had known you'd be a minute, he would have put a splash of water in the bottom of the flower wrap holding the bouquet together. He clicks his tongue in disappointment, hoping they don’t wilt by the time you get to them.

“I’m sorry, I have to get going-” Your voice chimes through the sound of the rainfall like a cleansing bell, bringing Sukuna’s attention snapping back towards the exit of your work.

You're standing halfway between his car and the building, directly in the middle of the parking lot. A man dressed in a similar uniform to yours is standing a little too close to you for Sukuna’s comfort.

He flicks the ash off of the end of his cigarette and takes a drag.

~

“Are you sure?”

It’s been a long day.

“We could go get some coffee and just hangout for a bit-”

A really long day.

Granted: working customer service you expected long days. Grating days. Days in which you questioned your faith in humanity. But, that all usually ended when you clocked out for the night and headed home. You could easily forget all of it at the door. Tonight, however, the annoyance of having to save face continues.

You had been trying to give this guy a hint all day as he followed you around, desperate to catch your attention and doing anything to gain a brownie point. It was really starting to tick you off.

Not only that, you knew Sukuna was waiting for you somewhere in the parking lot and it was only a matter of time before this man was decapitated before your very eyes.

Dammit, you just wanted to go home.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I’ve got someone waiting for me. Have a good night!” You try to wave him off, offering a polite smile before you turn your back to him.

"Who's waiting for you?" Sam calls out, still not catching the hint.

Before you can reply, a hand reaches around your waist, securing you to a familiar side- but you've been on edge all day, just waiting for your coworker to make one bold wrong move. On instinct, you snatch the wrist at your hip with a deathgrip before realization is able to save you.

Your eyes whip up to meet Sukuna's smirking gaze, his smile flashing into that serpentine grin that makes your fight or flight mode go off.

"Ohoho-" He chuckles, and there’s a mischievous darkness lurking beneath it. 

"'Kuna!" You ease your grip immediately, cradling his hand in sympathy. Part of you is instantly relieved he’s here to sweep you away, and the other part is sweating over how he’s going to handle this situation.  

Sukuna could be a bit possessive. 

"Good grip." He purrs, snatching up your own hand instead and continuing his original plan of tucking you securely into his side. "You turned your back to the scum bag, though." He tsks quietly. "My brat should know better."

Sukuna easily turns the both of you around, lifting you slightly to move without tripping you. You’re forced to face your coworker once again, although you notice that your unease has dissipated with Sukuna next to you now. 

“Is this...? A-Are you guys…” Sam sneers at Sukuna's sudden appearance, his poorly shaven lip curling up in disgust. 

Sukuna merely hums in response, “Every night while you’re wet dreamin’ about it.”

“S-Sukuna!” You interrupt, squeezing his fingers. Heat burns in your ears and you can feel them going pink under Sam’s now incredulous stare. “Is… my… yes.” You finish quietly, trying to avoid either one of the men watching you. Letting people into your personal life was not something you liked to do, even though you're sure your fiance would love it if you screamed it from the rooftops.

“Aw,” Sukuna makes a fond, sentimental noise and you press your elbow into his rib cage when you hear a mischievous lilt to his tone. 

“You and this guy?” Sam gives Sukuna an obvious once over, crossing his gangly arms over his chest in disapproval. “He’s not even your type!”

Oh.

Maybe this guy deserved a good beating.

Even you were too afraid to look at your fiance at that moment, you could tell by the look on Sam’s face that Sukuna wasn’t happy. 

The scariest part about Sukuna getting angry, was the lack of reaction. There was no glaring. No muscles going rigid. No shouting. There was only this overwhelming sense of danger, like a prey animal realizing it was about to meet its predator. 

Sam tries to fix it, sensing the murderous intent hanging in the air, but his ego still tries to bite: “Look, dude, I don’t mean any harm. I just think she needs a gentleman.”

…

Now that piques your interest.

You need a gentleman?

You almost completely forget about Sukuna for a moment, your head snapping in your coworker's direction with breakneck speed. 

“Gentleman?” You repeat, scoffing. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been breathing down my neck like a fucking animal in heat all day. Practically begging for half a second of female attention in any form you can get it and you’re standing here-after trying to follow me to my car like some fucking pervert- and you’re trying to tell me you’re a gentleman?”

When you try to take a step forward, you're reminded of Sukuna's unrelenting grip on your hip bone, holding you in place.

“Calm down- all I wanted to do was walk you to your car.” Your ill-favored coworker rolls his eyes, although you can sense his discomfort in the way he takes a few steps away from you. His ego speaks again, and you see red. “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” 

What.

“Alright, alright” Sukuna is shoving something cold and jagged into your hands, distracting the sudden confused rage that washes over you. Before you can expel it, he unfastens his hand from around your waist and nudges you in the direction behind him. “Go start the car.”

You blink up at him, taken back by the entire situation. His keys dangle in your frozen fingers, clinking together. 

Sukuna knows you're mad. Knows the only thing on your mind is curb stomping the man in front of you. And you know he won't let you get anywhere near that.

“Come on, Duckie.” He purses his lower lip in a mock pout when you don't turn to leave immediately. There’s something dark glittering behind the faux playfulness in his eyes, reassuring you that nobody was going to get off easy, asking you politely to turn your gaze from what he was about to do.

His calloused thumb sweeps over your fingertips, gliding over the deep red nail polish there. The kiss he presses against your knuckles is one meant for royalty. Soft and sweet. And incredibly persuasive. “I just got these nails done. Lemme keep ‘em pretty for ya.” 

~

When Sukuna opens the driver side door and slides in, fifteen minutes have passed. There’s a smear of blood on his cheek that matches the one on his knuckles, the red catches his eye in the review mirror. He licks his finger, using his spit to try and wipe it off before he turns to meet you, smiling sweetly. 

“What should we get for dinner?"

[fbrd]

[cozmikvi]

MORE. MORE. MORE!