#Did Carl Sagan believe in God?

[a-typical]

In Genesis, we read of angels who couple with 'the daughters of men'. The cultural myths of ancient Greece and Rome told of gods appearing to women as bulls or swans or showers of gold and impregnating them. In one early Christian tradition, philosophy derived not from human ingenuity but out of demonic pillow talk, the fallen angels betraying the secrets of Heaven to their human consorts. Accounts with similar elements appear in cultures around the world. Parallels to incubi include Arabian djinn, Greek satyrs, Hindu bhuts, Samoan hotua poro, Celtic dusii and many others. In an epoch of demon hysteria, it was easy enough to demonize those we feared or hated. So Merlin was said to have been fathered by an incubus. So were Plato, Alexander the Great, Augustus and Martin Luther. Occasionally an entire people - for example the Huns or the inhabitants of Cyprus - were accused by their enemies of having been sired by demons.

In Talmudic tradition, the archetypical succubus was Lilith, whom God made from the dust along with Adam. She was expelled from Eden for insubordination - not to God, but to Adam. Ever since, she spends her nights seducing Adam's descendants. In ancient Iranian and many other cultures, nocturnal seminal emissions were believed to be elicited by succubi. St. Teresa of Avila reported a vivid sexual encounter with an angel - an angel of light, not of darkness, she was sure - as did other women later sanctified by the Catholic Church. Cagliostro, the eighteenth-century magician and con man, let it be understood that he, like Jesus of Nazareth, was a product of the union 'between the children of heaven and earth'.

— The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark - Carl Sagan (1996)

[talenlee]

The Tiny God Of Christianity

The Tiny God Of Christianity

I spent fifteen years in a fundamentalist Christian space, and another five trying to recover from that, reconciling what I was with what I was being shown was okay. In this time, I fervently, aggressively, desperately tried to believe in it, tried to make it so it worked for me because I was terrified of the alternative that was the reality I was slowly coming to terms with.

It was in this time, I keenly began to feel pinched at the edges by the desperate smallnes of the god of the infinite and untouchable universe.

See, in the fundie space, there’s a lot of very empty talk of absolutes. It’s hard to escape, in hindsight, the way that I think of literally every major position and promise as being empty rhetoric. Oh, I know it’s not nice to act like they don’t believe things; we give the benefit of the doubt, and it’s also just flat out impossible to say for sure what a person does or does not believe, because their belief systems are always personal and can be internally unreasonable. People who believe the world is ending in five days still pay their power bills and that can be true because people don’t have to make sense.

It’s not that I think any given individual member of my church didn’t believe what they said, though there were quite a few of them who did let slip that they had doubts and their fundamentalism. There’d be some moment, some serious spiritual conversation with a mentor, and they’d say ‘well of course I have some doubts,’ or even more terrifyingly, ‘act like you have faith, and faith will be granted to you.’ The whole point of the faith is that it’s meant to connect you with an immortal all-powerful creature who has a plan for your life and whose choices have directed the very fundamental materiality of your experience…

And you kinda gotta wing it.

You gotta hope you got it right.

This is the best way for that immortal entity to connect to you, to talk to you, to relate to you and your cohort. Obviously, that’s unsatisfying, it’s meaningless, but the thing that stands out in those same moments, like peeling paint on old walls, when you realise that something you thought was an absolute is still a thing that falls apart and weathers and can get old and fall apart, is how much there is that their god can’t do.

Healing, sure, you get some mention of that, though not in any way you actually know is a miracle. No returned fingers or restored limbs. I know, I did working bees, I knew more than a few people who lost a piece of a hand or a foot in the name of giving the church free labor. God wouldn’t fix that, hospitals fixed that, or nobody fixed that.

Evolution had to be a lie, because it was complicated and difficult. If God used evolution, then it eroded everything that god could be. If the world was older than six thousand years, then the Bible could not be literally true, and that would destroy our icon of God. Homosexuals and feminists had to be wrong, because the Bible had no place to talk kindly of their complexities. Everything had to be seen in terms of if God had a hand in it, and if he did not, then it was discarded, as if it did not exist.

It was an idea better expressed than I ever realised by Carl Sagan, possibly before I was even born. He wrote about how the faith met new discoveries and could only reject them. I think in part this is because of a lack of control, an inability to synthesise or incorporate those ideas into the nature of our faith as we could wield it. I think in part it was because of a limit of understanding; the people I know who confidently dismiss any of these realities are completely uninformed about it. Ken Ham is an internationally successful explainer of evolution and he doesn’t understand it at even a level a child can. Being rock stupid isn’t a function of brains, it’s a function of choices, and Ken Ham sure chooses to be that fucking stupid.

In some respects, science has far surpassed religion in delivering awe. How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, “This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed”? Instead they say, “No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.”

Carl sagan

It’s a kind of rhetorical dead-ending, a drain that sits underneath your soul as you try to keep throwing things down it. The world is full of interesting things, systems and perspectives and art and ideology and even just like material objects doing weird shit and at some point, something, eventually, sometihng mundane enough that you can hold it in your hand is there and present and you realise that the god of the infinite space and Abraham who counted the stars in the sky has about as much power as one shithead can manage to maintain over a hundred people, and that seems very small for a god.

It never made sense! It never got a satisfying explanation! I’d discover something interesting and ask about it, and so, so, so often, the answer is ‘the world is not so complex; god didn’t do that.’ And this sounds bizarre, I know, but fundamentalist christianity involves so much denial, so much ignoring and discarding. Imagine thinking that millions of people working in laboratories are all just playing grab-ass and inventing results, and nobody’s bothering to check or point it out!

The solution that comes in there is conspiracy.

God is small, god is petty, god didn’t do that, can’t do that, can’t be that complicated, those things can’t exist.

because our god is a small god.

And he needs you to think small.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#FundieStuff

[myupostsheadcanons]

OP Chapter 1069 Spoilers

Sweet Magical Quantum Science.

When gods become real because of the collective prayers and dreams of humanity... man made god, god did not make man. mother nature rejects the creations of man.

The original word for “demon” meant what we would call “intrusive thoughts” now days. When random, uncharacteristic thoughts creep into your brain. demons and devils walk hand-in-hand. (see: Carl Sagan’s Demon-Haunted World)

There is some science behind it still, as these fruits are able to change a person’s dna and that dna could be reverse engineered into making a replica of the original fruit. though “lineage factor” is better explained as some kind of added code on top of someone’s dna that records the person’s experiences and could pass those onto future generations... as in “some people are born great” while others have to “strive to achieve greatness” 

The philosophy could be applied in a ‘e*genics’ sort of way, as in how the Celestial Dragons believe they have the divine right of kings (when they do actually work towards a goal they get people like Shanks and Doflamingo cropping up among their kin). It could also explain The Will of D being its own branch of Lineage Factor (Rocks D. Xebec, Gol D. Roger, Monkey D. Garp)

[ecscott]

James Webb and Vincent van Gogh Merge Science and Faith

James Webb and Vincent van Gogh Merge Science and Faith

Like you my mind and heart tripped over one another when I first saw the miraculous photographs from the James Webb Space Telescope. I felt like Lucy in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe opening a door and peering into another world, vast, beautiful, mysterious, and dangerous. Then I saw one where someone combined Van Gogh’s famous Starry Night with an image from the telescope (the opening…

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Nothing like trying to explain to boomers that the mystical bullshit woo woo crap they believe in has fuck all basis in science and they go on about you not “having an open mind” I don’t need an “open mind” to shit that is patently WRONG. Why must these gullible fuckwits not have to have an open mind to fucking science and facts?

What's really remarkable is that these "yOu'Re nOt oPeN mInDeD!!!1!" people think that non-believers have never heard all these claims, apologetics and fallacies before, that we're not surrounded by them day after day. On the other hand, when have they ever had to actually consider the possibility their faith is wrong? They're surrounded by affirmations of it everywhere.

The best answer to them seems to be along the lines of "if you have such an open mind, what would change yours? How could you tell if you were wrong? What would convince you that the world was naturally occurring? What would convince you a different god was real?" The truly faithful will say "nothing. Nothing could ever convince me that [my god] is not real." And be proud of it.

You can tell them that you will believe in anything, literally anything, if they can provide verifiable evidence of it. But if their god is so undetectable, so unverifiable, that science can't find it, despite it being able to conceive of and then find neutrinos and super-massive black holes, then how can they claim it to be "real" - how did they find it?

Buried in a rejection of science and evidence appears to be an admission that it's not possible for evidence of their god to exist, even in principle.

"So, who truly has the open mind between us?"

The Ken Ham/Bill Nye meme really is a classic. It demonstrates where the problem of open mindedness, or lack of, lies exactly.

And they don't know how to come back from that, except to resort to "faith," and there's a ton you can do with that. Peter Boghossian's video on the unreliability of faith is fairly instructive, and I've covered points on thst before: what can't be believed on faith; if faith is reliable, why do people believe different things; how do we tell whose faith is correct; how can we tell whose faith is incorrect, etc, etc.

Open-mindedness to a believer means "accept what I say uncritically and unquestioningly." Because that's what they did, and they don't have a mechanism for finding and correcting false beliefs.

In other domains this is phrased as more explicitly as "listen and believe."

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

-- Carl Sagan

Actual open mindedness means being willing to reconsider your conclusions, if a sufficient case is made. That is, "listen and consider."

"What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence."

-- Christopher Hitchens

If they don't want to substantiate their claims, then you don't need to worry about entertaining them. It mustn't be sufficiently important to them.

In the end though, conversations that go in this direction are rarely worthwhile. You're (hopefully) looking for truth, they're looking for compliance, for you to fall in line and shore up their belief bubble, because asking too many questions could pop it.

At some point you might just have to say something like "look, I just find none of this convincing. You haven't provided any evidence for your god that distinguishes it from any of the other gods. It's possible I'm wrong, and your god exists. But I need evidence, and you don't seem to have any. And if your god is real, I really don't see why asking for it is such a difficult or objectionable request. If I die and am confronted by your god, I'll simply tell it that you [your interlocutor] didn't seem to know of anything that actually proved its existence, and ultimately failed to be convincing. If your god truly is loving, I think it'll be alright with that."

They'll be in more trouble with their god than you are.

1. Peter 3:15

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/burden%20of%20proof

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/open%20minded

For what it's worth, I've observed exactly the same behavior regardless of age - it's not limited merely to those of an older generation. I've had 19 year olds lecture me about my lack of "open mindedness" about the "truth" in the bible or quran.

It's also not exclusive to any particular belief. In my own experience, I've found the "yOu'Re nOt oPeN mInDeD!!!1!" thing to be particularly prevalent among those who have "spiritual not religious" beliefs. Those who look down on the crusty old traditional religions, think the faith beliefs they've constructed for themselves are more enlightened, want to believe that they've found new, higher "knowledge" the world has not yet acknowledged, expect different treatment, and get annoyed when they're treated exactly the same. Since they are.

[joeyhelps]

*    CONTACT  MOVIE  SENTENCE  STARTERS  ( part 1/2 ) .

quotes  lifted  from  the  1997  film  adaptation  of  carl  sagan’s  novel .  feel  free  to  alter  any  gendered  language  to  suit  your  needs .

“ i’ll give you a hint - orange juice. ”

“ aw, [name]. that’s a beauty. ”

“ if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space. ”

“ you had something there. ”

“ i think it’s great that you listen. most people don’t do that anymore. ”

“ does it show? ”

“ what are you studying up there? ”

“ i’m a writer. i’m writing a book. ”

“ i take it you know him/her/them? ”

“ man, that’s fringe. ”

“ you better keep this. might save your life someday. ”

“ will you have dinner with me tonight? ”

“ i don’t make a very good research subject. i’m just not very quotable. ”

“ now i remember why i took that desk job. ”

“ if i’d have known it was gonna take three planes i might have reconsidered. ”

“ looks like it’s gonna be a long night. ”

“ what, you wanna do away with all pure research now? ”

“ what’s wrong with science being practical? ”

“ i’m not against technology, doctor. i’m against the men who deify it at the expense of human truth. ”

“ i think that hurt my chances with that interview. what do you think? ”

“ wanna get out of here? ”

“ when did you know you wanted to be a/n [job title]? ”

“ y’know, there are four hundred billion stars out there, just in our galaxy alone. ”

“ and there’s no chance that you had this experience because some part of you needed to have it? ”

“ i mean, i’m a reasonably intelligent guy/girl/person, but this... ”

“ just leave your number. i’ll call you. ”

“ what are you talking about, [name]? ”

“ i know you can’t see it now but i’m doing you a favor. ”

“ i don’t consider what could potentially be the most important discovery of the human race nonsense, okay? ”

“ so what? it’s my life!”

“ hey, [name] - you were right. screw [name]. ”

“ huh? confrontational? me? what do you mean? ”

“ you’re right. it’s- it’s crazy. in fact it’s even worse than that. ”

“ the truth is you’re my last chance, so... ”

“ i’m sorry i wasted your time. ”

“ could you face reality, please? just this once. ”

“ we lost. it’s over. ”

“ if i have to go it alone, i’ll go it alone. i’ve done it before. ”

“ explain this to me. ”

“ mathematics is the only truly universal language. ”

“ well if it’s attention you want, i think you’ve got that. ”

“ excuse me, um... who are you? ”

“ so i’ll just come right to the point, shall i? ”

“ i’ve got a secret. ”

“ i know a good bet when i see one. ”

“ what am i doing here? ”

“ how do you know you’re not deluding yourself? ”

“ look, [name], nobody’s saying this isn’t dangerous. ”

“ you’re an incredibly brave man/woman/person. ”

“ i consider myself a moral person. ”

“ do you believe in god, [name]?”

“ i believe i’ve already answered that question. ”

“ i told the truth up there, and [name] told you exactly what you wanted to hear. ”

“ [name], i know you must think this is all very unfair. ”

“ i wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line. ”

“ i’ve always believed that the world is what we make of it. ”

“ we only get one shot at this. let’s get it right. ”

[whereforarthur]

Two Heads are Better than One

Requested by @amofbebbanburg: Hello! I know something to write 😝😝😝 if you haven’t written this already, how about a Spencer Reid x reader where they both are geniusses and both can get extremely involved in discussions and the team is always flabbergasted as they don’t understand a thing about them, except.. That Spencer and her have a crush on eachother and they make Spencer fonally act on it? Maybe some NSFW to it ❤

A/N: Takes place during season 5 and mentions Spencer being shot in the knee. Introduction takes place in season 5, episode 5 “Cradle to Grave” Sorry I went a little off of the request I had an idea and I ran with it, I still hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @amofbebbanburg  @thatsonezesty13​ @slutforthegubes​ @hazel-howell​ @rachelssafespace​ @lindaze​

Requests are Closed!

Category: FLUFF and SMUT! (NSFW)

Couple: Spencer Reid x BAU! reader

Warnings: Oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, chocking, Dom!Spencer, degradation 

Word Count: 2,889

******

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

-Albert Einstein 

You were sat at the corner of Spencer's desk as he rambled on about a blog he had just found, you wouldn’t have stayed and listened cause the subject was boring to you, but you stayed because you loved to watch the first genius in the BAU ramble. Especially since he was shot you couldn’t spend a moment away from him, afraid that something like that would happen again.

You were happy to see Derek walk in to the office finally someone else that Reid could talk to besides you. But, before you could give Reid to Derek, he was questioning Reid.

“Reid, what did I miss?”

“Oh, man, you're not gonna believe this. Some moron just posted a blog called "what would Carl Sagan do?" Spencer completely oblivious to what Derek was asking him about.

“No, Reid, the case.” Derek asked him again annoyance clear in his voice. “What's the case?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t know about a case, do you know about a case y/n/n” Spencer now directed his attention to you. You shook your head no “Nope I didn’t hear about any new cases coming in.” You told the boys.

“These emails from Hotch.” "take a look at this, " "new case to review."

“Emails from Hotch? I didn't get any emails from Hotch,” Spencer replied back to Derek while he typed on his computer. “did i? Nothing.” Both you and Spencer were clueless about what Derek was taking about. 

The whole time he talked you and Spencer shared questioning gazes between the two of you as you played with his crutches, him stealing them away from you before you hurt yourself or broke them. 

Derek had walked to Hotch’s office before you could ask him what was going on you and Spencer just went back to talking about the blog, you both assumed that Hotch had asked Derek to consul on a case before it was brought up in front of the entire team. 

*****

“Kristie Taylor, runaway, drug addict, Reported missing from Farmington, New Mexico 3 years ago. Yesterday, she turned up off a freeway Outside of Rio Rancho.” JJ had begin debriefing the team about their new case.

“Sexual assault combined with ligature marks on her wrists and ankles.” Spencer stated reading off of the case file. 

“She was asphyxiated.” You shuddered as you stated that as you hand was brought up to your neck, you hated whenever victims died from this, thinking that one day it could be you. In the bedroom you were know as the kinky submissive type, completely different from the dominant personality you used at work. And one of the things that could always get you off was a little bit of breath play, choking, you just loved it when a man took complete control of you, when your life was in his hands.

Those hands, god you had to get over this crush on Spencer ever since he was shot you realized your feelings were more of the “I want you to absolutely destroy me”, then the overprotective family type that they other members of the team had for him.

Spencer shook you out of your thoughts as he mouthed to you “are you okay” you simply nodded your head “yes” and went back to listening to JJ talk about the case.

When you had tuned back in Rossi was talking about how “There are a lot of guys out there who like chains.” You giggled to yourself and girls too, you thought to yourself. Spencer was confused as to way the mention of chains made you giggle, but figured out the answer when he saw the way your pupils were dilated, the rising blush on your checks, and the way you bit you lip with desire. 

He blushed to himself, trying to get the imagine of you tied up in chains for him and only him out of his head. He cleared his throat and tried to get rid of the growing bulge in his tight pants.

Rossi asked JJ  “ Are we sure this is the same unsub?”

“Kristie Taylor's autopsy report also indicates a second connection between these victims.” JJ replied back to him

Spencer informing the team of the connection, “she was pregnant.” Flipping the case file closed as JJ said that she had just given birth, she was killed within minutes of giving birth.

You had a theory, “This unsub isn't your typical sexual sadist. Captivity and assault we've seen before. What we haven't seen is this signature-- The role he forces these women to fulfill before he kills them. Motherhood.” you told the team all of them looking shocked and terrified.

“Journalist William D. Tammeus wrote, "you don't really understand human nature "unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round "will wave at his parents every time around And why his parents will always wave back."

“So why would a sexual sadist make women carry his children?” Emily asked the team with absolute confusion as to the unsubs motive.

“Gary Heidnik kept a harem in a dungeon. His goal was to create a large family As a replacement for his own broken home.” Spencer answered then turned to look at you, you continued his explanation.

“Josef Fritzl kept his daughter in a cell in his own house, And they had several kids together.” 

You and Spencer were always like this, you guys were known to finish each others thoughts almost as if you too shared the same brain. It was absolutely sickening how adorable you two were with each other when you would get into your genius debates, rattling factoids about anything to prove which one was smarter. They were always wondering when you two would finally get together.

And to be honest you had finally had enough of the back and forth of the will they won’t they and you had decided (much to Penelope's constant nagging) that after this case you would finally tell Spencer how you felt, and fingers crossed, jump his bones.

***** The case had finally rapped up after what had felt like forever and you were glad to step foot back into the bullpen, determination coursing through your veins as you eyes landed on Spencer.

“Hey Spencie want to get takeout and do a movie night?, I’ll even let you pick out the first movie” You asked him hoping that he said yes, but he usually always did Spencer could never say no to the puppy dog eyes you were know to give him.

“That sounds amazing,” He replied as he laced your arms together walking you towards the elevator “your place or mine?”

“Yours” If this plan was going to end in the way you hoped it did you wanted it to be done at his place. You wanted him to take you on every surface of his apartment. You felt yourself getting wetter at the idea and before you even realized it Spencer was opening the car door for you to get in, you blushed as you thanked him for being such a gentlemen and got in the car.

*****

You had made your way to Spencer’s apartment without exciting yourself to much, in case he didn’t return the same feeling of attraction.

You sat on the couch as Spencer placed your usual order at your favorite Chinese restaurant. “It’ll be here in 20 minutes” he told you as he joined you on the couch and he set his crutches down on the ground you gathered up some courage to place your hand on his knee. 

“Does it still hurt Spencer?” You began to bring your hand up and down his leg in a teasing manner making sure not to put too much pressure on it. 

“Umm no-o not that much only when I-i try to put too much pressure on it.” Spencer didn’t know what you were trying to do but, he was hoping that you were finally going to tell him how you felt. 

“OK that’s good just tell me if this hurts” 

“If what hur...” Before he could finish his sentence you straddled yourself on his lap combing some hair that had falling in his face behind his ears. You smiled deviously as you felt his growing bulge resting at your core, you moaned at the sensation. 

And in that moment, Spencer had lost all control, the years of him holding in his feelings were finally able to be set free. He grabbed your chin bringing your face inches away from him. You felt his hot breath fan over your face, another moan escaping your mouth.

His pupils were extremely dilated, they were filled with lust and desire. “Is this why you wanted to do a movie night y/n, huhh?” He left one hand on your check as the other wandered down to your throat giving just enough pressure to make you a whimpering mess in his lap.

“Yes, Doctor” That’s all you needed to say to him before he captured your lips in a breathtaking kiss both of you moaning at the sensation of finally being together.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” Spencer manged to get out in between kisses.

Both of you exploring each others bodies like you both had dreamed about. 

His hands now harshly gripping your hips and grinding you against him. You ran your fingers through his lengthy curls, tugging at the ends eliciting several moans from him. He begin to work his kisses from your lips down to your neck leaving love bites in his wake, marking you as his.

With every kiss and bite you were a whimpering mess for him, grinding your hips against his, your core was pulsating and you needed him so badly at this point it hurt.

You finally began to undress each other, the want of him being inside of you taking over your body. You stood up to help remove his clothes making sure that you didn’t hurt his leg.

“Are you able to hold yourself up against a wall” You asked him with a smirk.

“Yes” 

You grabbed his hand and shoved him against the wall before getting down on your knees, you stripped yourself down to your bra and underwear. Spencer had to stop himself from practically cumming at the sight.

“You are so fucking gorgeous” He manged to get out in between moans as you began to palm his erection through his underwear. 

Finally having enough of teasing him you grabbed his underwear and dragged it down to his ankles, him kicking them off. You were shocked at the sight of him.

His tip was pulsating red with pre-cum as it rest against his stomach, you had never felt more aroused then you were in that exact moment you couldn’t wait any longer, you had to feel him.

You wrapped your hand around his erection, staring to stroke him gently. You stuck your tongue out as you drug it up and down his shaft, bringing it up from the base to the tip. You looked at Spencer, having a feeling that eye contact was a turn on for him, he moaned at the sight of you, which only egged you on even more. 

You finally wrapped your lips around the tip, giving it a kiss before you began to to take him in your mouth. You wanted Spencer to fuck your mouth and that is exactly what he did. You felt his grip on the back of your head tighten as he began to thrust rapidly into your mouth, you made sure to relax your jaw to allow him more room inside of you.

He guided your mouth up and down his length, him loving the control that you gave him. 

“You fucking love letting me you use that pretty mouth of yours. Fuck, it feels so good baby, you are taking it so well, like the good, slut that you are.” Between the praising and the degradation you were soaking wet and just dying to feel Spencer inside of you.

You loved that you were the only one to see him like this, the complete opposite of how he acted in work. He never cursed, he barely had the courage to take control. But, in this moment he was in full control and both of you were high off the feeling.

Spencer was so close to the edge as much as the idea of cumming down your throat excited him he needed to know hat it felt like to be inside of you first.

You pouted as Spencer yanked you off of him, dragging you up by the hair. You know stood practically dripping from how wet you were on shaky legs as he had to hold you up as he wiped the spit from your chin and the tears that fell from your eyes.

“As much as I wanted to cum into the pretty mouth of yours I think we would both enjoy it much more if I come in your fucking cunt.” Each word made you wetter by the second, he pushed your ruined panties to the side.

He started with two of those perfect and long fingers, that slipped with such ease inside of me, he roughly finger fucked me. He had to hold me up with one hand as we made out like horny teenagers.

As he pumped his fingers inside of me he began to rub my clit with his thumb, he could feel how close your were, the way you were clenching around his fingers, you had stopped kissing him to preoccupied with the feeling of his fingers deep inside of you. 

“Are you going to come for me, as I finger that tight pussy up against my apartment wall, for all my neighbors to hear. I want you to fucking scream my name as you moan. I want everyone to know who you belong to.” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, you came hard and quick a sting of curses and the doctors name falling from your lips. He never stopped his assault on your pussy, he kept pumping his fingers in and out of you as you came down from your high.

“Good girl, so fucking responsive to me and the real fun hasn’t even begun.”

He lead you to his bedroom him climbing up on the bed first carefully as to not hurt his leg, as soon as he was situated he told you to take off your bra and underwear as he patted his lap.

As soon as you straddled him he gripped your throat making your eyes roll to the back of your head, as his other hand guided his length into you. 

Your moans were echoing through the bedroom as he entered you, filling you to the brim completely stretching you out. “Fuck, you take my cock so good baby, so fucking tight.” He stated as he began to pound into you from below you ground your hips against him trying to keep up with his pace.

His hand still tighten wrapped around your throat he pulled you towards him capturing your lips in a kiss that seemed a lot softer compared to the situation that the two of you were in now.

“Fuck, Spencer you fill me up so good.” He moaned at your words only pulling you closer to him and thrusting deeper inside of you. You felt yourself coming closer to release as he groaned against your ear.

The hand from your throat was removed only to move to your bundle of nerves circling it, “I want you to come all over my cock baby, before I fill you up with my load. Understood?”

“Yes, Doctor.” 

“Come for me baby,” he pleads as he feels his release is close. A hot panting mess, you still managed to scream his name as you came.

Spencer wasn’t far behind you still thrusting into with such force, your pussy tightening around him added to his orgasm as he came deep inside of you.

“Oh, god, fuck that feels so good baby.” 

You two just sat there for awhile in pure bliss, both of you hot sweaty messes but neither of you cared. After a couple of minutes he pulled out of you you whimpered at the soreness that you felt, but knew that Spencer would take care of it for you. 

He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before he hobbled (since he left his crutches in the living room) his way to the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean you up, you flopped over onto your stomach feeling completely drained.

You couldn’t stop the giddy feeling that coursed throughout your entire body you had never thought this moment was going to happen, especially with a co-worker that you fantasized about on a daily basis. You had finally realized you were also madly in love with this man.

Unbeknownst to you Spencer had felt the same giddy feeling as he stood just there in the bathroom staring at his reflection in the mirror with a smile that spread across his entire face. He had to realized the love he had for you and couldn’t be happy then to tell you.

*****

“Some love stories aren't epic novels. Some are short stories. But that doesn't make them any less filled with love.”

- Carrie Bradshaw 

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

God didn't believe it was possible but Cody Johnson actually made me hate muskrat more than I already did. That little rodent really thought Carl Sagan didn't consider Mars? Like truly???

[darnittumbleweed]

HC: Spencer coming home late after a case and seeing his SO and their horde of children (because you know he would want a ton if you had any at all since he knows how lonely it is being an only child) asleep in their bed. Like his kids are fully sprawled out on his side of the bed but he’s too content to care

If you asked twenty-year-old Spencer Reid if he thought he might ever have children the answer would have probably been “no”

Young Spencer Reid also didn’t believe in love...not really in the emotional sense of the word. He believed people got attached to people and they simply enjoyed the rush of chemicals in the brain that came along with the sensation of being in love.

You changed everything for him

He was absolutely stupid for you from the second you met

You were an old family friend of Rossi’s.

You met at one of Rossi’s dinner parties and one thing led to another.

Reid asked you out for coffee and you never looked back.

You’ve been through a lot together but you’ve always had his back.

You get married within three years and Reid believes in love for the first time ever.

You get pregnant pretty soon after your honeymoon. 

Reid is a mess

He’s thrilled but terrified.

He mans up and takes responsibility because he doesn’t want to be just like his father.

He proves that he’s twice the man his father never was.

He’s so patient during your first pregnancy just the best husband and dad

When your son is born he’s ecstatic and so attentive. Elliot Spencer Reid is so smart and so precious. Just a mini Reid. 

Your son is a toddler when you get pregnant again and Reid is much more chill this time around.

His daughter is just as doted on as his son. Marianne Diana Reid is just as smart as her father and her brother but she totally got your creative side. She is way more art-minded than analytical 

This last pregnancy was a shock.

You didn’t even know twins ran in your family.

The pregnancy was tough and your son and daughter were premature. Jason Derek Reid and Josephine Penelope Reid are fragile at first but they have their father’s strong will to live.

FOUR KIDS. Four baby geniuses. The BAU team can’t believe it.

Dad and Husband Reid compared to newest agent baby Reid is a mile’s difference

Lot’s of jokes about how Reid and Matt Simmons are competing to see who can have the most offspring

Reid just sheepishly admits none of your pregnancies were actually planned. You’re both just super fertile apparently.

Lot’s of jokes about someone needing to tell Reid and you where babies come from. 

After the twins were born Reid started cutting back his time on the field.

He consults more than anything, but if it’s desperate times then he’ll go on the field.

Sometimes he misses not being so involved on the field.

Nights like tonight though, he’s happy to be off that jet and home with his family.

You and the kids must have been having a movie night judging by the DVD of Toy Story on the nightstand

Kids everywhere and two cats all hogging your king sized bed.

He rolls his eyes at the two fat orange furballs Carl and Sagan totally think your bed is their bed.

The kids have totally taken over his side of the bed

His eldest daughter is sleeping in his Caltech shirt. She’s going through a phase where she’s all about Reid and is super clingy.

He’s not shocked to see Elliot is pressed against you. He’s a total momma’s boy. He thinks he has to take care of you when Reid is gone. 

The two youngest are wrapped up together much like they did in the womb.

Reid wishes he had a camera to capture this sight. He has an eidetic memory though, so that’s almost as good.

He strips down to his boxers and is forced to wake you so he can share your side of the bed. Thank God he’s still so thin even if he’s getting older  now.

Whining “they totally stole my side.”

You know by the grin on his face that he’s not too bothered though.

He presses a kiss to your cheek as he allows his body and mind to find peace.

Who needs to be on the field when he has you and your babies at home.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Sex with angels

If you grew up in the Unification Church (like I did), I don’t think it’s really possible to appreciate just how ridiculous an assertion our church makes when it claims that it has good evidence to believe that human beings can have sex with angels. In the 1996 version of the Divine Principle, the evidence put forward is that A ) “there are reported cases of earthly people leading a married life with spirits”, B ) Genesis contains several accounts of angels interacting physically with human beings, and C ) the Fall story can be interpreted as a sexual story.

(Arguments A and B are on page 63 of the 1996 version of the DP; Argument C is covered throughout Chapter 2.)

Argument A holds no power because the DP doesn’t actually cite any of these supposed cases, or show how these cases are not simply unfounded assertions. Arguments B and C are weak because Genesis is not a reliable historical document.    

If you’re going to argue something as bold as the notion that human beings and angels can have sex, you need strong evidence. As Carl Sagan famously said, “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”

______________________________________

“I can’t say this often enough: Adam and Eve never really existed. Once you understand that you know everything you need to know about Divine Principle and the Moon family.” Graham C. Lester

______________________________________

A Korean perspective on Moon and his ‘Fall of Man’ teaching

“Do you see it? Adam and Eve were husband and wife before the Fall, not brother and sister!”

The concept of original sin seems to have been developed about 200 years after Jesus by Irenaeus and later by St Augustine.

If Adam and Eve didn’t exist, then there was no fall and therefore no need for a savior.

______________________________________

Sun Myung Moon’s Theology of the Fall, Tamar, Jesus and Mary

1. Jesus, Judas and Mary – Graham C. Lester 2. Sun Myung Moon said he “came through the fallen lineage” and had original sin. 3. How did Moon remove his original sin? & Finding the “wife of Jehovah” 4. Kirsti L. Nevalainen explains about “the wife of Jehovah” in Pyongyang in 1946 5. Ruth A. Tucker, PhD: Moon’s Other Gospel of Sex Rituals to “Womb Cleanse” 6. Three testimonies about Sun Myung Moon’s pikareum sex rituals 7. Sun Myung Moon: “God himself nursed Adam and Eve” 8. Tamarism is a key theology upon which Moon based his mission 9. Five of the many ways in which the Divine Principle view of the Fall is nonsensical – Graham C. Lester 10. Sun Myung Moon’s Divine Principle Theory Applied – John H.

______________________________________

Unification Church member never allowed herself to enjoy sex because “sex was evil”

[thefolioarchives]

Reading of 2021, VI

30-33. The Murderbot Diaries 1-4 by Martha Wells (books: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol & Exit Strategy)

I have a lot to say about these books. I read the first one while finishing my master thesis and I honestly remembered so little of what had happened in that book (even though I read book #2 earlier this year lol) that while I was reading the third and the fourth one I felt compelled to re-visit the entire series again because I felt like I was truly missing out. I often find it challenging to not read book series back-to-back because my memory isn't great. And that can sometimes be a challenge because I'm so keen to read all the things all the time and sometimes I can think to myself "you need to be reading other stuff, not just this stuff". So that's fun. Anyway.

Turned out, that was not a bad idea. The story of Murderbot starts on an alien planet where they're part of a research team doing a survey on an uninhabitable planet. Needless to say, things do not go well and from there the story evolves into a mystery of discovering why things went so wrong, how they were allowed to go so wrong, but it's also a narrative that explores discovering who you are, dealing with new and terrifying stuff in an environment that basically treats you like a rampant, unstable killer. Murderbot's journey is incredibly relateable, even though they're flying about in outer space, there is something incredibly human about them and what they're going through and I think a lot of people can find solace in these books.

Firstly, I really enjoy (not enjoy but like and appreciate) the world Wells has created. It feels so blatantly familiar and, to me, is definitely the course of action that would occur should humanity (god forbid) colonise the stars: capitalism becomes religion influencing terrible worker's right that also extend to bots and AI because you always gotta oppress someone right? Secondly, Murderbot is such a great character and the turmoil they experience as they're coming to grips with who they are is so universal and touching and UGH I just want to hold them and say it's all going to be ok! You're ok! (I went back to see what I read about the second book and included it in my summary for 2021 and I referred to Murderbot as a she! I'm sorry for misgendering you, please accept my humble apology.) Thirdly, all the relationships Murderbot forms with other bots (ok this is a lie, this is actually my favourite aspect of these books) on their journey to self-discovery is another highlight. The bots are all so different with distinct characteristics and voices and they all have different reactions to Murderbot. But what they all have in common is this desire to protect humans which is probably the most heart breaking of all. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that these books make me feel a lot of feelings and I think everyone should read them.

34. The Galaxy and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers (Wayfarers series #4)

Ugh… what can I say about this book? Like the Murderbot diaries, it's a book that makes me feel a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings. I'm in love with the world Chambers has created. Her alien races are so inspiring and they feel real, meaty. And humans aren't at the center (this story doesn't have a single human character) of the story or the universe. This is a story about how five strangers end up working together and helping each other during a minor-ish emergency, like "we're all stuck here for a while, how can we make the best of it?" so please don't be expecting much in the way of plot. That's not what Chambers does. Chambers does communities and relationships and how we struggle with those sometimes and how we struggle with finding our own place in the universe, trying to get by, trying to find happiness. I would read about her characters forever and I mean that, I honestly do. I'm quite heartbroken that this series have come to an end, but these are definitely books I will revisit time and time again and I'm so excited for whatever she does next.

35. Lynn Margulis: The Life and Legacy of a Scientific Rebel edited by Dorian Sagan.

This is an important book about a phenomenal woman. Margulis was instrumental in showing how symbiosis is at the heart of evolution, making us re-think Darwin's "survival of the fittest". Margulis argued, alongside others, that eukaryotic cells didn't devour each other all those millions of years ago, but instead absorbed each other and started "working" together. However, a lot of the essays included here are heavily repetitive. Does everyone have to provide us with a summary of Margulis' career in order to tell their one anecdote about her? Also, where are all the stories/essays written by other women? I refuse to believe that Margulis was only connected to men both in her life and career.

I did really enjoy the introduction by Sagan (her son, she was married to Carl Sagan from 1957-1965) and it includes this line about death that I found oddly comforting: "Death is a mystery, but it is also a sublation, a rising up to another realm, a reckoning, not just a negation but a planting and possible flowering, an archiving, a setting of the seed of the soul as information into the fertile if not eternal field of collective memory." I have been thinking about death a lot recently (if you're living in 2021 and not thinking about death constantly what are you even doing??) and however sad and tragic it is, those who leave never truly leave because we're here to still love and remember them until we eventually leave and I truly find that so beautiful, even though it might be a cliché, it's incredibly true.

[accumulus]

I’m really fucking sick of the anti-Elon Musk rhetoric that is just running rampant on this site. Yes for sure there is a lot of valid criticism of him, and he should be scrutinised because he is wealthy and has a lot of influence and may just be the most influential person alive when it comes to the future of humanity (with great power comes great responsibility and all). But like the death threats and imagery are getting beyond hyperbole and it’s frankly really gross.

I just commented on a post that said that every autistic person hates him, and I don’t (not to the level of wanting him totally removed from society through death). And frankly a lot of criticism levelled at him in the past has made fun of his autistic traits (probably unknowingly), such as being robotic, speaking with a monotone, having a one-track mind, missing social cues, moving strangely, having unusual interests, and appearing to be insensitive (apart from valid criticism of him being actually insensitive. So for example him saying people will die getting to Mars wasn’t him saying that he’s going to throw bodies at the problem, it was him setting expectations about how hard the problem is—it will be one of the most difficult things humanity will do. Contrast this with him making gross, dumb offhand comments about Covid, which he later backtracked.)

Anyway. There’s a risk in all this that you are blinding yourselves with anger to the point that you can’t make valid criticism of his actions, and that you will risk excluding yourselves from a very important discussion that needs to happen in the next few decades.

I’ve been a space enthusiast for as long as I can remember and I understand the history that got us to where we are now. Most of what Musk is doing with SpaceX has completely obliterated old modes of thinking when it comes to rocket development. The fact that there are actually people working on colonisation plans and not just some anemic manned mission to plant a flag is more than anything I could have dreamed of when I was a kid (especially when I saw Challenger explode live and it felt like everything was going to grind to a halt and never go anywhere).

The most frequent criticism I see is that space exploration should be halted to focus on solving Earth based problems. This belies a near total ignorance of what is involved and how much it actually costs (and Musk has dramatically lowered the cost to LEO by several orders of magnitude, so it’s even more ignorant now than a decade ago). Developing technology for space exploration helps solve Earth based problems (things like recycling water and filtering carbon have direct application in the climate crisis). If Sputnik hadn’t launched when it did we might not even be fully aware of the climate crisis because we probably wouldn’t be where we are now with weather satellites (and the first space race came in for the same criticism as now). Personally I wish people would waste less resources on buying crap they don’t need but no one ever seems to complain that that money should instead go into solving global poverty or the climate crisis (except Greta Thunberg, another autistic person who gets a lot of shit heaped on her).

It’s fine if you have no interest in space exploration but don’t shit on those of us who are. Don’t lump your disinterest into some lame excuse about solving ‘real’ problems.

I do wish you would all take an interest though because what we are going through now is transformative. I firmly believe we are at the beginning of human history, we are just now about to leave the cradle. What we value and prioritise will have a huge impact on the course of human history. You get to have a say, but you need to bring some real thoughts to the table not just blind rage for one man. You can have influence so that the libertarians are tempered by socialist ideas. Or that direct democracy prevails over corporate hegemony. Your voice and your compassion is needed. Do not fuck it up because you couldn’t see the stars in front of you because you had so much hate focused on one man.

And for gods sake, read Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan (another problematic man with an outsize ego but that book really gets to the meat of why space exploration is important). You will understand where Musk is coming from (with space exploration. He’s a douchecanoe for hyping cryptocurrency.)

I dunno, just can people not just step back and think with kindness? Why does everything have to be so fucking stark? I’m not asking you to worship him (worshiping anyone is bad), but just like try to be a bit more objective and do your research.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 279

ARE RELIGION AND SCIENCE COMPATIBLE?: Part 1

The heated debate about whether religion and science are complimentary or not has been raging for years. Several theologians, philosophers, and scientists have put forward different views on this subject. In this article, we focus on the relation between religion and science from the Islamic perspective, and try to answer the question if the two disciplines are complimentary to one another or fundamentally opposed to one another with the help of verses from the Qur’an, the Hadith and views of different scholars.

Before analyzing the relationship between these two disciplines, it is necessary to understand what they are. To this end, we should first start by defining what religion and science are.

Religion is a belief system and way of life that attributes all power and order to the Supreme Being, God, Who has offered guidance to human beings through His books and Messengers. The goal of religion is the success of human beings, both on the Earth and in the hereafter. Science is knowledge about the universe, based on experiments, observations and facts that can be proven. Its goal is to explain the relationship between particular events. According to these definitions and goals, religion and science seem to be two different disciplines. Increasingly, in recent centuries, they have been perceived as being two conflicting disciplines, as they seem to disagree on some scientific theories, such as evolution.

At this point, a question arises. Are science and religion really contradictory to one another and how is this situation perceived in Islam? From an Islamic perspective, religion and science are not in conflict with one another. First of all, the universe is a book written by God and is a collection of Divine signs; therefore science and religion cannot be conflicting disciplines. Rather, they are two different expressions of the same truth.

In the Qur’an there are about 750 verses that urge humanity to gain knowledge and which are related to knowledge. Even in the very first verses sent to humanity, God begins His revelation with the actions of reading and writing:

Read! In the name of your Lord, Who created. He created man, from a clot (of congealed blood). Read, by your Most Generous Lord, Who taught by the pen. He taught man what he did not know. (96:1-5)

Now let us look what Carl Sagan said in his book, Cosmos: “Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.” Muslims believe that the Qur’an contains everything, but not to the same degree. This fact is pointed out in the following verse:

With Him are the keys of the Unseen. None but He knows them. And He knows what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falls but with His Knowledge, not a grain amid the darkness of the Earth, nothing of wet or dry but (it is noted) in a Manifest Book. (6:59)

The Qur’an pursues four purposes:

a.existence and unity of God,

b.prophethood,

c.resurrection,

d.concentration on worship of God and justice.

While realizing these purposes, it draws our attention to the acts of God in the universe, His art that is displayed throughout creation, the manifestations of His names and attributes and the magnificent perfect order and harmony that there is in existence. In the Qur’an, God gives examples about some scientific facts, natural events, and even more, He indicates some scientific and technological wonders, such as airplanes, electricity, motor vehicles, and means of radio and telecommunication. At this point, let us look at the verses that are related to science, scientific knowledge, and the importance of gaining scientific knowledge.

THE VERSES THAT URGE US TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE

Say: Are those who know and those who do not know alike? It is those who are endued with understanding that receive admonition. (39:9)

And so amongst men and crawling creatures and cattle, they are of various colors. Those truly fear God, among His Servants, who have knowledge: for God is Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving. (35:28)

And such are the Parables We set forth for mankind, but only those understand them who have knowledge. (29:43)

QUR’ANIC VERSES RELATED TO SCIENTIFIC FACTS

The Big Bang and the Beginning of Life:

Have the unbelievers not beheld that the Heavens and the Earth were a solid mass, then We separated them? (21:30)

The Expansion of the Universe Theory:

And it is We who have built the universe with our power; and, verily, it is We who are steadily expanding it. And We made the Earth habitable; a perfect design. (51:47-48) Embryology:

We have created man from an extract of clay. Then We placed him as (a drop of) sperm in a place of rest, firmly fixed. Then We made the sperm into a clot of congealed blood; then made from the clot a lump of flesh; then made the lump of flesh into bones, and clothed the bones with flesh, then we fashioned him into another creation. So blessed be God, the best to create. Then after that, you will surely die. Then, on the Day of Judgment, you will surely be raised up. (23:12-16)

Genetic Code:

Does man think that we cannot assemble his bones? Yes indeed, we are able to put together in perfect order the very tips of his fingers. (75:3-4)

[myupostsheadcanons]

Again, i randomly ran into something that made me think of Ivan... more specifically why he was named Ivan by the author.

I was listening to “Pale Blue Dot” by Carl Sagan and he brought up a concept called “Ivan’s Hammer” which is when someone uses a large space object and drops it onto a planet to cause mass destruction. Ivan (the character) has two different themes going on, Space and Mythology,  It so happens a lot of Space Objects are named after Mythological People. Which is why his alias of Fornax doubles as a space object and a complementary to Tori’s alias of Hephaestus. In the story itself Ivan was given the name of Fornax because they believed a Black Hole was in the system (which later turned out to be a galaxy) and he was likened to “destroy everything in his path.” it also doubles that Fornax is a Goddess, of ovens, which plays into the gendered name swap that Tori evoked with Hephaestus, god of forges and volcanoes. Ivan being named after Ivan’s Hammer aligns with his theme, in that he can cause massive damage and it is part of his space theme.

Lodestar also follows the Mythology and Space theme as well. A lodestar is a guiding star, much like the North Star. Her name is also Helen, while it doesn’t seam very significant on the surface, her daughter is named Penelope, evoking The Iliad and the Odyssey. The famous Helen of Troy and Penelope was the wife of Odysseus. Helen of Troy was “the face that launched a thousand ships” meaning that her presence in Troy drew the Greeks to their shores. The mythological Helen and Penelope are both characters separated from their husbands by circumstance of the war. In story, we don’t know who or where or what happened to the father of Penelope (Lodestar’s daughter). But, Ivan chose to step in and be supportive to Helen, as she did the same for him (getting him out of jail, telling him of his son, got his life turned around, and then-recently helping him after his own divorce to Janet). The two of them found themselves alone and with kids from previous relationships. It is yet to see if Ivan is playing the role of Paris, whom Mythological Helen spends the next 10 years with before she was reclaimed by Menelaus.

[joonclouds]

A space situation

You sigh heavily and shut your eyes. The man was so intelligent, but days like this you wonder if sometimes his brain took unpaid leave.

“My house is literally a third the size of your closet.”

If this wasn’t your house you might have found it a little bit funny. But it is your house.

- 

Joon is your very rich very endearing sugar daddy but also very clumsy and sometimes rash in buying you whatever what he sees fit but it’s not very practical all the time. 

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: It’s a fluff party guys

Word Count: 3k

Note: Quarantine can be inspiring lol

- 

You don’t know you’re smiling, but it’s there. A tiny little smile lingering on your face as you watch the man in your kitchen from your crummy two-seater couch that barely fits into your living room.

It’s not a sight you’ll ever get used to seeing, you think, Namjoon with his designer suits and perfectly swept back hair, fumbling around in the drawers. He was wearing that new Dior shirt you had picked out for him last week.

When he’d came in to your dingy apartment, he’d removed his (probably very expensive) cufflinks and tossed them in your countertop dish.

“You shouldn’t treat your things so carelessly,” you chastised, taking them from the dish and moving them somewhere safer. Even in the cheap incandescent light, the large stones twinkle softly and you wondered how much they cost.

“They’re very pretty.”

‘What?” He’d glanced up briefly from his phone to see what you were holding. “Oh you like those? I can send them to my jeweler and get them set into earrings for you if you want.”

You nearly drop the cufflinks.

-

When he stands he bumps his head on an open cabinet.

He’s a bit befuddled for a moment and sends the cabinet door a look, but it quickly melts into a grin when he hears you giggle.

“Hey, don’t laugh. I’m six foot and this kitchen is literally made for someone who’s like five-nothing.”

God, you wanted to take a swim in those dimples.

You get off the couch and walk over, opening the second drawer to pull out a whisk and offer it to him.

“You’re the one who wanted to come to the dump which is my apartment, Joon.” It’s a matter-of-fact tone, but you can’t hide the twinkle in your eyes.

“I wanted to make you that dalgona coffee thing. But I don't have instant coffee at home. I didn’t know if it works with normal espresso.”

“You’re telling me you have a thirteen thousand dollar coffee machine at your place, and no instant coffee.”

Namjoon makes a face. “Instant coffee tastes like dishwater.”

You grab the bottle of instant coffee and shove it in his face.

“I love it.”

Namjoon shakes his head and grabs the glass jar from you, delivering a swift peck on your cheek.

“I love you.”

You blush, one hand going up to cup your face. To hell with butterflies in your stomach, this man truly gave the zoo a run for its money.

-

You’d met him while waitressing at one of those fancy fundraiser gala dinners. It paid the best, and between struggling to feed yourself and those overdue college bills, you were ready to swallow your pride and deal with the pompous crowd for a little while.

Namjoon had always thought it was a blessing he’d survived thirty three years not having broken a bone (well, he’s caused other people to break their bones, but that doesn’t count.) But that night, accidentally spilling his wine on you was the one time Namjoon ever felt truly lucky that he was a clumsy oaf.

You looked like a little deer, flustered and apologising, reaching for the nearest stack of napkins to fuss over the cuff of his jacket, when he should have been the one apologising to you. The two of you at a later point have recounted this first meeting and you still can’t believe he finds it hilarious that you were horrified, on the verge of tears because you thought he’d expect you to pay for his jacket.

Though you later understand why he’d find that funny. One thing more genuinely beautiful than his face was Namjoon’s heart. He’d insisted he book you a cab home (after understanding you didn’t have a spare shirt), and settled with your manager that you’d be taking the rest of the night off.

The next day he caught you by surprise, showing up on your doorstep in a cream cable knit sweater, and a black gift box adorned with a white camellia in hand (half out of apology, but also because he needed an excuse to see you). You’d opened the door, let out a strangled squeak and promptly slammed the door shut in his face. Later, he did get invited in when you didn’t so closely resemble a drenched version of Dobby, but it was unlikely you’d ever forget the horror of that moment.

-

Of course at first, your relationship was merely transactional - he paid you for your company, mostly at more of these fancy galas where he needed someone to distract the crowd while he really talked shop with the important people, and you.. well who were you, a mere mortal, to say no to that? It would get your bills paid, put food on the table, and Namjoon was kind, intelligent and not bad to look at.

Okay fine, he was great to look at.

Sure he’d been divorced once, but everyone has skeletons in their closets, right? Namjoon’s closet was three times the size of your apartment so there’d be plenty space to hide them. (Later, much later, you also become privy to the information that the guy could fuck you six ways from Sunday, but that’s besides the point… you think.)

-

After the parties on the way home you’d started to linger in his car. He’d walk you up the stairs of your dingy apartment complex. You hold hands, his large one dwarfing yours as the both of you walk as slowly as possible up the entire ten flights.

It was dangerous for you to walk alone, he said, but really, Namjoon wanted to talk to you a little while longer. You were nothing like he’d ever known. You were quiet. Listening. But really listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. So different to the ditzy socialites in his circle who wanted only to talk about themselves.

Its not long before you're inviting him in for coffee - he drank your dishwater coffee quietly for the next three months before he suggested going to his place where the ‘real coffee’ was.

You fell fast, and you fell hard.

-

Not that you didn’t have your share of heated romances with people your age, but none of them really got you, listened to you as intently as he did when you rambled on about the inequality and hegemony of this world. You chalk it up to the fact that you’ve always been more mature than others - a result of circumstance. Not by choice, really, but it was what it was.

Namjoon always carried an air of introspection around him. Not intentionally. Many people took that for pride, but you realised quickly it was quiet confidence. He liked to listen and learn and observe.

On your coffee nights he begins to give you a glimpse of who he really is. Undoubtedly, he’s a Kim. That cool, nonchalant disposition was his battle armor. But beneath that you come to see the man who when you ask him about the telescope in the corner of his study, tells you he still entertains his childhood dream of being an astronaut. That on clear nights he likes to read Carl Sagan and look at the stars, wondering about the kind of lives they lead.

You learn he’s a great big klutz that breaks the handles off his cabinets ‘by accident’. You see the soft side that sometimes likes to read children’s books because ‘some of the best lessons in life are simple and humble ones’. And eventually the side that suddenly pulls you in closer in his sleep to his chest on rainy nights because he hates thunder. You always wake because you’re a light sleeper, but you’re glad you are, reaching up to smooth the furrow between his brows gently with a thumb before cuddling deeper into his embrace.

It’s also the first time he smiled at you. It was the week before his birthday, you’d given him a little resin keychain with little pressed wildflowers. He’d gone silent for quite a while and you didn’t know if he hated it or loved it.

“It’s a keychain.”

“Yeah.. It’s not much but I made it in a resin art workshop I went to, you have everything already and I hadn’t any idea what I could afford that you’d need-“

“You made this?” He interrupts, looking up at you.

You feel your gut shrivel. Jesus Christ. He hates it.

Immediately you move toward him to remove your offending gift. You were a Tiny Bit Hurt, but what had you been expecting with a cheap thing like that?

“If you don’t like it, it’s okay. You don’t have to use it! I just thought because you call me your little wildflower you’d like - “

You can’t finish your sentence because your face is smushed into Namjoon’s (very nice, very broad) chest as he pulls you into a crushing hug.

Horror takes over slightly and you struggle to move away. “Namjoon, I’m wearing so much foundation, and you’re in a cream Givenchy sweater - “

“I love it.”

You stop struggling. His warm breath tickles your ear, one large hand cradling the back of your head.

“You do?”

“I do. I love that you put in all this effort. You are my little wildflower. Always blooming in surprising places.’

You hug him back, nuzzling into his scent. The Givenchy sweater could wait. There was always drycleaning.

“And now I’ll have something to remind me of you wherever I go.”

When he pulls back to look at you he’s sporting not just one of those polite half smiles, but a full on beaming grin that make his eyes into smiling crescents. You get to see how deep his dimples actually are.

You swooned so hard you thought you might’ve given yourself an aneurysm.

-

Well, fast forward a year and here you are.

Watching the owner of a global business conglomerate make you some silly whipped coffee drink in the kitchen of your tiny apartment with water stains on the wallpaper, his diamond cufflinks sitting in a repurposed butter spread tray that held coins and keys on your countertop.

Watching your klutz boyfriends, ad he jerks the whisk at an odd angle and gets foamy coffee splattered all over the front of his white shirt.

'Joon, that’s Dior.” Your face crumples. Grabbing a towel out of the drawer, you wet it and try to dab the coffee stains off. That shirt was so expensive, it could pay your rent for three months.

You knew and had come to terms with the fact that money would always worry him far, far less than it worried you, but seeing such an expensive item go to waste would never stop making you a little bit unhappy. Well, there was more to it, but you shoved those thoughts away.

Namjoon sets the bowl down on the counter.

“It’s okay, love. I’ll just get a new one if the stains don't come off.”

You scrub harder.

After a silent moment, Namjoon puts his hands over yours to still them. “It’s not just about the shirt, is it?”

He waits for you, like he always does because he knows you need a little time. He’d wormed his way into the deepest parts of your heart, but there would always be a final little fence you had to decide to take down. He was okay with that.

After a minute, you nod. Gently, he takes the dishcloth from you and sets it aside so he can hold your hands properly. Times like these he just wants to hug you and hope that would be enough to protect you from the world. You taught him that money, as much as it solved problems, was not everything.

He puts a finger under your chin and tips it up so he can see your face.

“I just..”

“Go on.” He encourages.

“I know we’ve been through this before, but I can’t help but feel like I’m a… I’m a burden.”

Funny, considering how you two started out. The sugar baby/parent lifestyle just wasn’t for you. You were a Bad Ass Bitch who didn't need anyone, and it was important to stay on brand.

“Like, I keep being on the receiving end and sometimes I just feel like I can’t do anything for you. You spend so much money on me. The other day after we went shopping you bought me such lovely fruits to stock my fridge, and even got me a new heater for my room when it’s cold, and now you’re making me coffee because I sent you that post on Instagram and I just….

“If you didn’t have to come to my stupid old apartment you shirt would still be clean and I …“ You gesture vaguely at him and then at yourself.

“You give me so much. And well, I’m… just me.” You say finally.

Namjoon’s just been listening as you ramble, face unreadable. He;s got his business face on and you can’t tell if he’s angry with you or not.

“So you feel like you can’t do anything for me.”

You nod.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding the topic every time I ask you to move in with me?”

You nod again.

“Look, _____. I want you to listen to me. Like really listen.” His hands move to cup your face, eyes now staring intently into yours.

“You give me something in this world no amount of money can buy. You make me feel whole. You make me feel excited that I get to do life’s most mundane things with you. Even if it involves drinking dishwater coffee.”

That last part gets a small smile out of you, so he knows you’re in the clear.

“I know you’re not used to receiving nice things, because the world hasn’t given you much of it. I hate that. What I do for you, I do with my whole heart. I will continue to want to do these things for you for as long as you’ll let me.

“And maybe if I keep doing them one day you will see how everything, everything I do for you pales terribly in comparison to what you give to me by just existing.”

You’re so overwhelmed with emotion so you just respond lamely “o..okay.”

In your head, your two braincells clap enthusiastically as they crown you honorary president of the Idiot Club.

Namjoon sighs and rests his hands on the countertop on either side of you so he can look at you eye to eye. You look so pretty like this, he thinks. Eyes vulnerable and lips soft, just like you should be. He hates the world for treating you so cruelly.

“And for the record, I insist on spending time here I noticed you’re more… yourself than at my place. I want you to feel comfortable.”

“That’s not true.” You raise your chin petulantly, because you’re slightly prideful that way and don't want to acknowledge that Namjoon sees through you clear as day.

“Don’t argue with me.”

Namjoon narrows his eyes fractionally, his gaze darkening, and suddenly you’re very aware that you’re caged in. Not that you were complaining but was it suddenly really hot in here?

“I’m not arguing.”

“Yes you are." He's lowered his voice and its taken on a huskier tone. 

“You know that everything I do, I do out of love for you. And I will damn well put up with your apartment with no complaints if it means you will feel more at ease.”

This man was going to give you whiplash with the way he made the most loving words sound like filth.

You lower your gaze, just the way you know he likes, and look up at him through your lashes. Two could play that game. You see a spark ignite in his eyes.

“I know.”

“You know, what?”

“I know, sir.”

“Good. Now why don’t I finish making you that coffee, and then we can go back to my place and we’ll see what you really know.”

With that, he releases you to get the milk from the fridge, and you spin around to place one hand on the countertop and one hand over your chest. You suck in a breath you didn’t know you were holding. A few seconds longer and you’d have -

A sharp cracking noise from behind you quickly sweeps any indecent thoughts clean out of your mind.

You turn to find Namjoon looking at you with an incredibly apologetic expression, holding a black piece of plastic which what seems to be -

“Did you break the handle off my fridge?”

-

Three days later he’s sporting the same apologetic expression, the only difference is that you two are separated by a towering, stainless steel monstrosity that now sits in the middle of your living room, leaving you two to converse by having to look around the sides of it.

“I’m sorry, ___. I didn’t know it’d be this big.”

“That’s what she said.”

You peer around the corner with a cheeky grin. He gives you a look that’s half withering and half amused. “Mature.”

Reassessing the appliance in front of you, you throw your hands up in the air.

“For the love of sweet god, Namjoon. This fridge is ridiculous. I’m not feeding the entire village. You’ve seen my apartment, how did you think this was going to work?!”

“I dont know, okay? I just called my home decor guys and told them to send you the same fridge I have!”

You sigh heavily and shut your eyes. The man was so intelligent, but days like this you wonder if sometimes his brain took unpaid leave.

“My house is literally a third the size of your closet.”

If this wasn’t your house you might have found it a little bit funny. But it is your house.

You wait, but there’s just silence from his end, so you continue.

“What do you expect me to do with this monstrosity? Take a fucking winter holiday in it?! We can’t even -“ you kick the sofa for emphasis.

Pausing because he’s still unusually quiet, you stretch to look around the fridge again. He’s on his phone, tapping away in furious concentration.

“What are you doing?”

“Give me a minute.”

Oh no.

“What are you doing.”

“Relax, my love, I’m fixing the problem.” He waves you off nonchalantly. “Give me a minute.”

“Are you calling the delivery men to take this back?”

There is a genuinely confused look on his face when he looks up.

“What? No. Don’t be silly. I’m texting my real estate agents. They’re getting you a new house so this fridge will fit.”

[bucklemonster]

07/09/2020 Dream Three

07/09/2020 Dream Three: It is day, yet there are stars in the sky and meteors flying. I'm walking in a big grass field towards the top of a hill. The man in the orange jogging suit is with me. I'm following him. "If we go up there, we will see it." He says with a voice filled with promise.

I feel peaceful and exited to what I might see. We arrive at the top and he says "There it is! ...The organisation!" I see on the horizon a town filled with huge orange buildings. In the middle of the town there is a giant skyscraper going literally as high as the eye can see, possibly into space. The skyscraper has weird extensions in the sky as if they made extra buildings in the sky and connected them to the skyscraper. The extensions are also connected with tubes, perhaps for support and possibly to supply water, gas and electricity. I assume the tubes are also used to expel waste. I can't be certain because I feel the orange man very wise and the town is very advanced. Perhaps they have different energy sources and other ways of living.

The meteors pose no thread to the city or us. The meteors simply remind us of beauty. We go back a little to the other side of the hill to watch the green grass that extends into the horizon. I lay down in the grass, the man a meter or so next to me does the same. "You did a great job." he says. I wear the ring. I make a fist with my hand and hold it in the air, while I'm still laying in the grass. I fire lasers out of the diamond. "Pew! Pew!" I say laughing. The man smiles. "We planted the seed, you know, you were not the only one." "We have planted the seed and you guys are spreading it." I listen. "We have to go to the stars now, to plant more seeds." "We will return, four years later, same date, I promise." He says. "What's the seed?" I ask. "It's the ring!" he says. I look at the ring. "So, what's the ring?" "Well that's the funny part, the ring was within humanity all along, we just helped humanity remember." I ask "Remember what?" "You may call it god, the universe, love, happiness, all that stuff..." "Humans seem to forget, they divide, fight and murder." He says it while looking at the ground. "I know it sounds like some hippie bullshit but humans forget there is hope, no need to fight, were all in this together, where all children of the universe, of god, of love, whatever you want to call it." I feel happy, I look in the sky, meteors pass by. The man waves to the meteors, so I do too. "What will happen when you return?" "Today was the wedding." the man says "Next comes the big harvest." the man says. "Harvest?" I ask. "Yes, humanity may interpret it as the end, death, pain and war but in reality its a new beginning. It will be beautiful..." I start to get creeped out, the same dread returns. The man smiles, "Goodbye." he says and waves. "You have done well, you have done well." Then I wake up. It sounds as if a war will start at 5 September 2024. It also sounds as if the man wants me to become part of some sort of suicide cult. I feel bad about this, I started to really like the orange man but maybe his intentions are dangerous. Damned! I wanted to ask him if he was running some sort of cult or if there will be war…

Anyway I don't think anything will happen 5 September 2024 except some weird dreams. If anyone dreams of this orange man, remain suspicious but he does not seem to be a physical danger within dreams. If he suggests suicide or something stupid don't do it. I must admit, the thing he said about "the ring" and "the seed" fills me with warmth. He has a point, we all need to love ourselves, maybe love god or love the universe. It seems as if we forgot to do that keep running after money, status and sex. Although there is nothing wrong with money, status and sex there is more in life and life is not that long so enjoy it and don't ruin it for other people. I mentioned loving god even though I'm non-theist. I think the existence of a god is highly unlikely and it also depends on what one means with god, but if religion helps people I wont criticize that. Enjoy the small things. And yes the orange man was right, what he said does sound like hippie bullshit but that's okay. I still believe these same dreams multiple people are having are inspired by something we saw, in the media or our culture. I do not believe in telepathy and visiting other worlds in our dreams. I think there is still a logical explanation for all this. This is a vivid, strange, sociological and psychosocial experience. We must keep an open mind, listen to new ideas and multiple angles but also be sceptical. As Carl Sagan once said "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." Many love and greetings Benno Sameyn