#Direct Certify

[uw-212]

taps microphone. is this thing on. can anyone hear me

[connectionterminated13]

[trainwreckgenerator]

this might be like an ignorant question but how in the world does one become a university lecturer at 23??

let me tell you a secret. if the position you are applying for isn't "researcher" and is just "guy willing to talk to those kids paying to be in our building" then most university establishments actually have lower hiring standards than the average elementary school

[stfulara]

how do I explain why I'm crying to 'na na na' and 'rock me' in the middle of night-

[fishareglorious]

can’t believe barcarola is following in the footsteps of caroline mfing bartley😭😭😭 but instead of renting a whole ship she just offers her to stay in her cabin😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ladysakurascout]

My Maximus pre-order finally came in and look how frickin’ good he looks!!!! The figure includes a BOS helmet but who needs that when you can see this lil cutie full time tehe

Also loving how my walls are Fallout ready at any time 🥺💖

[tea-cat-arts]

Fuck it, I'm still salty Su She made it past the first round in the official poll

[marimbles]

i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

[excelsior9173]

OKAY FINALLY GOT TO HEAR CARAMEL

VESSEL?!

ouch. that one hurt. like, complete gut punch. but also- the vocals on this album are just. on another level compared to the rest of their catalogue it’s phenomenal

gonna be spinning this one over and over and feeling sick i think lmao

[marcysdreamydays11]

I don't wanna say this and I think I shouldnt say this but why does gunned down sound so freaky everytime I see someone say that stupid CEO got gunned down its so kinky like oh how big was that gun like he was getting his BACK BLOWN(no pun intended) by that BIG gun like damn he was taking that shit I've seen people use the word before for like other gun violence issues like incidents with schools and I take it completely seriously but with this dumbass CEO its been making me not be able to keep a straight face.

ok this should've stayed in the drafts

[shiversdownyourspleen]

Every fibre of my being trying not to become a Jayce hater despite the increasingly overwhelming evidence like

[vaguely-concerned]

kill me

(*wobbly tearstained voice* this is father & son richard plantagenet in henry vi part 3 1983 dir jane howell btw. which is. extremely good)

[what-have-i-unleashed]

contributing to horror x cross (what is even their ship name)

for @qininqinin i am awaiting your response

(cw: petplay, blood, heavy petting, public sex (kinda), yes this is a lemon, yes cross is a feral dogboy in this (you know who to blame))

horror stands in the open snowy field, leaning on his axe as he taps rhythmically on the handle. it has been around ten minutes since he ordered his hound to catch the pesky rabbit - he isn't worried, and he can be patient.

a crunch in the snow. horror whips his skull around, only to see the familiar sight of his hound on all four, his white fur stained with red, the still prey in his mouth. cross paces towards horror, clearly excited by the hunt. he drops the rabbit at the feet of horror's feet then looks up, eyes full of unrestrained anticipation, mouth sticky with animal blood.

not the one to refuse a clear attention for praise, horror kneels down to cross' level and pats his head.

"you've done great, crossy," he coos, smiling wide as cross leans into his touch. "who's a good boy? you are. you're a good boy, aren't ya?"

cross whines under his ministrations. the hunting hound sits on his hinds, eyes closed, panting as horror gives him scritches under his collar. he tilts his head, whining, begging horror with half-lit eyelights to touch behind his acoustic meatus. snickering, horror complies, which earns him an enthusiastic purr.

"ok, lie down, crossy. time to get your treat."

cross hastily obeys, lying down on the snow and exposing his belly. horror carefully traces his hands down cross' body, exploring and playing with it like a fiddle. cross gives little whines and whimpers as he feels himself getting more and more simulated. the heat is getting to his face as he tries to control his reactions to no avail.

horror is adamant to see cross unravel. he places his hand between cross's thighs and starts rubbing through the shorts. cross gives a surprised yelp as he abandons his shame and grinds his crotch against horror's hand. his face flushed purple and his pants are accompanied with messy wet sounds of his saliva drooling from his mouth. he watches, enraptured, as his body is played with, rewarded for his good work.

"good boy deserves a reward," horror murmurs to him, and he nods dumbly.

i'm a good boy, his mind provides, playing the sounds from horror's filthy mouth like a broken record. i'm a good boy. good boy deserves a reward. good boy-

cross comes with a stilted gasp. he almost bites down on his tongue by habit, trying to silence himself. his toes curled in the cold snow, as his body gives an involuntary jerk.

when he comes down, cross pants with half his face buried in the snow, recovering his breath. he sees a shadow cast over him and looks from the corner of his eye, too worn out to lift his head.

horror is kneeling over his head, holding out his hand covered in cross' release, a beatific smile on his face.

"come on, clean up after your mess, crossy."

cross stares at the sticky hand offered to him, then at the glowing bulge in horror's pants. he lolls out his tongue, eyes cast down, and starts to lick. his body is buzzing with magic again.

[gibbearish]

oh boy its my favorite day where nonusamericans condescendingly explain to me that the election effects other countries too and therefore i need to be even more terrified than however terrified i already am

[fishareglorious]

hat size somewhat correlates to how lesbian they are so I say one day bluepoch will release someone who wears a hat with a brim so fucking massive that you can't see any defining features of their face, and in the moment you get her in gacha she will pull out a polaroid and show to you a picture of her wife and tell you about how pretty she is and how much she loves her and have you seen her? well now you have:)

her wife in return has the tallest don dimmadome lookin ass hat. they have been happily married for decades.

[asterias-corner]

HAPPY CLOWN WEEK!!! HERE IS THE MAKEUP I DID TODAY! :3 (under the cut)