#Direct Certify
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taps microphone. is this thing on. can anyone hear me
#in stars and time#siffrin isat#limbus company#dante lcb#sekaiju#ingwaz sekaiju#certified halcpost#i might have a favorite hyperspecific character trope idk#oh yeah both ingwaz and dante have in-universe religious connections if you squint#and i feel like dante going siffrins direction is a very real possibility#they should all get group therapy#anyway hope you enjoyed this post made for like two and a half people
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#fnaf#fnaf sotm#I don't know......#I'm still certified mimica Hater but like maybe you'll be good#Like the designs are cool even if it feels a lot more generic mascot horror than fnaf.#But they're trying to go in a different direction which is fun I guess#I don't know maybe it's just this isn't my really current hyperfixation anymore so I don't care as much
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this might be like an ignorant question but how in the world does one become a university lecturer at 23??
let me tell you a secret. if the position you are applying for isn't "researcher" and is just "guy willing to talk to those kids paying to be in our building" then most university establishments actually have lower hiring standards than the average elementary school
#you dont need a pgche for an associate position is the less facetious answer#rambles#also it helps if you teach where you studied cause they know youre familiar with the curriculum#but even without that most lecturers are hired for their direct work experience with the subject theyre teaching#unlike schools universities dont require their staff to be certified educators most of the time. you just need to#1. prove you know things 2. be reasonably competent at explaining them
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how do I explain why I'm crying to 'na na na' and 'rock me' in the middle of night-
#one direction#liam opens literally every song in up all night and take me home#screaming crying throwing up#this is girlhood#this is a girlblog#im just a girl#desiblr#liam payne#1d ot5#1d#harry styles#louis tomilson#zayn malik#niall horan#certified yapper#i don't have a life#it's so hard#desi tumblr
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My Maximus pre-order finally came in and look how frickin’ good he looks!!!! The figure includes a BOS helmet but who needs that when you can see this lil cutie full time tehe
Also loving how my walls are Fallout ready at any time 🥺💖
#plus my bathroom has blue walls like vault-tec certified af#I feel his hair is a little off but maybe S2 will show some growth#Maximus fallout#fallout maximus#maximus#dark horse direct#fallout tv#fallout tv series#fallout#fallout tv show#dark horse comics
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Fuck it, I'm still salty Su She made it past the first round in the official poll

#tgcf#svsss#hua cheng#luo binghe#heaven official's blessing#scum villian self saving system#danmei poll#but anyways- heres the poll i think we should've gotten round if people weren't fools and cowards who kept Su She in#I'm not going to write any Luo Binghe propaganda because I think tumblr more or less understands his menace levels#but i saw people in the Hua Cheng vs Su She match saying Hua Cheng is only a menace when defending XL is involved and like???#no. that is not true#I'm pretty sure him telling Shi Wudu and Pei Ming to go kill themselves was not for XL's benefit#Man is a certified menace to everyone at all times#if op of the original tournament sees this- hi. thanks for running that. none of my disses here are directed at you
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hat size somewhat correlates to how lesbian they are so I say one day bluepoch will release someone who wears a hat with a brim so fucking massive that you can't see any defining features of their face, and in the moment you get her in gacha she will pull out a polaroid and show to you a picture of her wife and tell you about how pretty she is and how much she loves her and have you seen her? well now you have:)
her wife in return has the tallest don dimmadome lookin ass hat. they have been happily married for decades.
#reverse 1999#certified storm moments#their sapphic swag together is too strong that whatever doomed yuri beam bluepoch tries to direct at them reflects and hits someone else#i say somewhat because blossica is literally right there#this character is the one that breaks the woman in her twenties curse most of the gacha women get by being middle aged#or even older
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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OKAY FINALLY GOT TO HEAR CARAMEL
VESSEL?!
ouch. that one hurt. like, complete gut punch. but also- the vocals on this album are just. on another level compared to the rest of their catalogue it’s phenomenal
gonna be spinning this one over and over and feeling sick i think lmao
#ramble on exie#sleep token#it’s very very direct. pulled no punches#and it made me sad#but also it’s a certified banger what the hell
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I don't wanna say this and I think I shouldnt say this but why does gunned down sound so freaky everytime I see someone say that stupid CEO got gunned down its so kinky like oh how big was that gun like he was getting his BACK BLOWN(no pun intended) by that BIG gun like damn he was taking that shit I've seen people use the word before for like other gun violence issues like incidents with schools and I take it completely seriously but with this dumbass CEO its been making me not be able to keep a straight face.
ok this should've stayed in the drafts
#brian thompson#luigi mangione#CEO down#claims adjuster#deny defend depose#fuck ceos#fuck united healthcare#rip bozo#rest in piss#certified fatherless behavior#thats directed towards me💀#marcypostings!
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Every fibre of my being trying not to become a Jayce hater despite the increasingly overwhelming evidence like
#WHY#I feel like I know the direction the story is going but I also don’t at all#I mean he clearly has a reason for doing that shit but RIGHT THEN?!#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane season two#So close to being a certified jayce hater
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kill me
(*wobbly tearstained voice* this is father & son richard plantagenet in henry vi part 3 1983 dir jane howell btw. which is. extremely good)
#HIM. DAD!!!?!?! YOU SEE#I thought the ian holm (1965) version of richard and york's relationship was devastating. I had no idea what was coming for me#henry vi part 3#shakespeare#richard iii#he just folds into the hug so completely and without trepidation even when he thinks he's being reprimanded. is the thing#'love forswore me in my mother's womb'#WHAT WAS YOUR DAD THEN RICHARD??? CHOPPED LIVER???????#*on my knees on the bare earth rending my garments and clawing at my bloodied face*#your brothers kind of suck I will grant you but they frankly seem to love you just as much or more than they love each other lol#I'm fine. the self-fulfilling prophecy and utter desolate isolation of abject self-loathing just got in my eyes again#I suppose a lifetime of your mum going 'shame of my womb' would do that to a motherfucker but STILL#honestly nothing beats moving through henry vi parts 2 and 3 before hitting richard iii. especially in this version#when you see the desperation verging on mania of york deciding to claim the throne reflected in his son later and it's like. ah. oh.#'not like the dam or the sire' are u sure about that margaret lmao#even the way richard will eventually do his asides are direct mirrors to how his father does it in this version#the matching limp after york gets wounded by clifford. the way they clearly share a sense of humour. *sounds of agony*#never have I witnessed a york I actually rooted for so deeply as bernard hill's even WITH that worrying intensity tho#among other high points of this version: a neverending cavalcade of some of the best noses you'll ever see in your life#also an unusual but SO fucking good take on richard. laurence olivier's version is certifiably Iconic of course (for better or worse)#but he is also like. transparently a disney villain haha I believe I coined the term 'murderscamp' to describe him#lots of fun to watch but it makes everyone else look like such absolute dumbasses for not seeing him for what he is#and lots of performances to my mind go way too far into the creep factor way too quickly#with ron cook's softspoken more believeably vulnerable richard from the outset it's easier to see how he flies under the radar#he's short and slight his voice doesn't rise that much even when he's in a rage and he's the softest with their father#you see how edward and george could still categorize him as their baby brother and not take him seriously -- not realize that some things#have uh. Shifted!! under the surface! over the years! in ways they probably should have been paying attention to!#to them he's still the kid warwick carried off stage on his shoulders.#frighteningly capable in battle but still more to be protected than protected from. until... god. augh. ow.
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contributing to horror x cross (what is even their ship name)
for @qininqinin i am awaiting your response
(cw: petplay, blood, heavy petting, public sex (kinda), yes this is a lemon, yes cross is a feral dogboy in this (you know who to blame))
horror stands in the open snowy field, leaning on his axe as he taps rhythmically on the handle. it has been around ten minutes since he ordered his hound to catch the pesky rabbit - he isn't worried, and he can be patient.
a crunch in the snow. horror whips his skull around, only to see the familiar sight of his hound on all four, his white fur stained with red, the still prey in his mouth. cross paces towards horror, clearly excited by the hunt. he drops the rabbit at the feet of horror's feet then looks up, eyes full of unrestrained anticipation, mouth sticky with animal blood.
not the one to refuse a clear attention for praise, horror kneels down to cross' level and pats his head.
"you've done great, crossy," he coos, smiling wide as cross leans into his touch. "who's a good boy? you are. you're a good boy, aren't ya?"
cross whines under his ministrations. the hunting hound sits on his hinds, eyes closed, panting as horror gives him scritches under his collar. he tilts his head, whining, begging horror with half-lit eyelights to touch behind his acoustic meatus. snickering, horror complies, which earns him an enthusiastic purr.
"ok, lie down, crossy. time to get your treat."
cross hastily obeys, lying down on the snow and exposing his belly. horror carefully traces his hands down cross' body, exploring and playing with it like a fiddle. cross gives little whines and whimpers as he feels himself getting more and more simulated. the heat is getting to his face as he tries to control his reactions to no avail.
horror is adamant to see cross unravel. he places his hand between cross's thighs and starts rubbing through the shorts. cross gives a surprised yelp as he abandons his shame and grinds his crotch against horror's hand. his face flushed purple and his pants are accompanied with messy wet sounds of his saliva drooling from his mouth. he watches, enraptured, as his body is played with, rewarded for his good work.
"good boy deserves a reward," horror murmurs to him, and he nods dumbly.
i'm a good boy, his mind provides, playing the sounds from horror's filthy mouth like a broken record. i'm a good boy. good boy deserves a reward. good boy-
cross comes with a stilted gasp. he almost bites down on his tongue by habit, trying to silence himself. his toes curled in the cold snow, as his body gives an involuntary jerk.
when he comes down, cross pants with half his face buried in the snow, recovering his breath. he sees a shadow cast over him and looks from the corner of his eye, too worn out to lift his head.
horror is kneeling over his head, holding out his hand covered in cross' release, a beatific smile on his face.
"come on, clean up after your mess, crossy."
cross stares at the sticky hand offered to him, then at the glowing bulge in horror's pants. he lolls out his tongue, eyes cast down, and starts to lick. his body is buzzing with magic again.
#going to superhell with this one#i hope no one around me is looking over my direction right now#i hope you're happy moot#certified freaky post#cross sans#horror sans#horror x cross#sanshipping#sanscest#cw kink#cw bd/sm#cw nsft#cw ns/fw
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oh boy its my favorite day where nonusamericans condescendingly explain to me that the election effects other countries too and therefore i need to be even more terrified than however terrified i already am
#like. yeah. i know it effects yall too. however as a person Living In The Country In Question i feel like assuming we have no idea that#the results of this election could be bad is uhhhhh a bad assumption to make#as a Certified Transgender™ i already bave enough anxiety abt this on my plate#like. take a minute to think abt ur audience here. do yall rlly think the people on tumblr dot com arent already scared of what will happen#if trump wins. do you for real think you need to be adding extra anxiety into the mix. do you actually think we are unaware of the stakes#or do you think maybe. perhaps. possibly. we already know. and just havent been talking about it because We Already Know#idk i just get fucking exhausted coming on here to be greeted by ppl going umm you stupid americans have no idea how important this is#no actually /you/ have no idea how important this is because you Dont Fucking Live Here#we're fucking aware that this will have knock on effects across the world. right now im more concerned about the Direct Effects#origibberish#idk. ive just been getting the impression lately that a lot of yall see yourselves as inherently smarter irt us politics than the average#us citizen / that us citizens are by default Stupid And Uneducated. and it starts to grate after a bit.#We Fucking Know. we're strapped to the trolley tracks right beside you. like. the idea that we're the ones steering the trolley is#propaganda.#it's like when europeans get all haughty abt 'lmaooo imagine not having free healthcare' like. bbgirl you are not punching up.
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HAPPY CLOWN WEEK!!! HERE IS THE MAKEUP I DID TODAY! :3 (under the cut)



#Certified clown⭐️#Imma have to redo this in a better fit#Clowncore#clownblr#sfw interaction only#Clown makeup#clown posting#circuscore#WHY DO MY EYES LOOK LIKE THEY ARE LOOKING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS :((#Slowly building the confidence to show my makeup again#Did i cook or did i cook? :3
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rest in peace hofmann you really would've loved internet slang. if you lived till the 20th century you could've been doing the fine modern tradition of hitting people with 'IDGAF' every time anyone discusses anything related to the arts
#reverse 1999#1.7 spoilers#chapter 6 spoilers#whenever anything related to the arts comes up in her direction you HAVE to know she does not understand it. nor does she care. this is#literally canon and has happened multiple times.#i want to take her to an art museum and watch her blankly look at the exhibits so i can giggle and twirl my hair and bat my eyes at her lik#a lovesick idiot. she asks me if we can go back to the foundation for work. i drag her to another exhibit. rinse and repeat#i do wonder what year she comes from like before the storm came in and fucked everything up#likely the 1990s but who knows really#certified storm moments#greta hofmann
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