#Don’t even have the crutch of SI anymore

[cloama]

It’s really me and my DBT workbook against the world.

[k3lynn]

Haikyuu Boys As Songs ||

oikawa, suna, tendou

cw: FUCKBOY OIKAWA AND SUNA, swearing, mention of sex, drugs, etc, the good stuff, also sort of angsty for some pieces

a/n: I’ve seen lot’s of people do this so I figured it was sort of a trend, seemed really fun so I wanted to hop on board- if you know who did it first please pm me so I can credit and tag them <3 oh yeah! I finally finished working on my masterlist- please check it out if you like <3

this is all non-canon, and I ABSOLUTELY do not actually think actual oikawa, suna, and tendou do some these things/believe some of these things, just fun and gives me their overall vibes, I’m just writing a story with it lmao- I really should have titled this “fuckboy oikawa and Suna ft. baby Tendou” because DAMNN lol- NOT PROOF READ this is more of a f! reader type of thing but I could always do a male, non-binary, gender fluid, etc. reader with no problem if requested!

OIKAWA- (fuckboy- /hj)

Don’t Tell Em- Jeremih

my reasoning for this is the fact that oikawa’s ex girlfriend was only ever mentioned once, and just by his nephew (when they had just broken up)

there could have been conversations off screen/panel or something- but I have a really big hunch oikawa just barely talked/interacted with her in public

MAYBE people knew he had a girlfriend (although obviously by the sheer amount of people in his fan base they don’t care)

or MAYBE he kept her a secret- reasoning with himself that it was to “protect their image” and that’s why he said he didn’t know what he did wrong

ANYWAYS HEADCANON OIKAWA FUCKBOY STARTS HERE- will probably make this into a full fic

would probably want to keep your relationship a secret for 2 reasons

1) his fanbase and image

2) he’s not looking for anything other than someone he can go to when he’s “bored” iykyk

type who will promise you things and try and convince you to not leave him because it’s “what’s the best” for you two

“Why would you? Just keep the rythym” would be him asking why your relationship even has to be public in the first place- when he thinks you guys are perfectly ok how you are right now

The Hills- The Weeknd

do I even have to say anything

oikawa may use you as a crutch to fall back on when he’s so broken from volleyball

“When I’m fucked up, that’s the real me”

He keeps this image of the most ideal guy in front of almost everyone every day, he must get tired

he knows you know he doesn’t actually want you-

that’s why he doesn’t feel bad when he breaks your heart

he never promised you anything

“I only love it when you touch me, not feel me”

self explanatory- sex not feelings please

I Was All Over Her- Salvia Palth

lyric by lyric LETS GO!

“We didn’t make out, or do anything. I just remembered, I was lonely.”

Oikawa gets all over people- not sexually or romantically, but in a way to distract himself from the fact that they may not like him for who he truly is

he’s lonely

“It’s not a problem”

it doesn’t bother him- he’s so used to the perfect setter boy image, he refuses to show the same part of him that is actually breaking

“Every stranger makes me feel safer, and every person seems more beautiful”

Iwa mentioned Oikawa rarely ever smiles with actual joy behind it

The strangers (fanbase) around him make him smile all the time, not because he’s happy, but because it won’t hurt to disappoint the people he doesn’t try and know

He doesn’t want to care what you think

SUNA- (fuckboy- /hj)

Swang- Rae Sremmurd

sis stop it right now he’s going to make you cry

There’s not some deep hidden meaning behind it, he just doesn’t seem like the person to care if you hate him or not

Canonly more expressive with his thoughts-

I quote “wishing he could find a reason to poke fun at Kita or make snarky remarks against Tsukishima and Tanaka.”

so when he has the chance to make fun of you- COUNT HIM IN

secretly thinks you hang out with all of them because you want to get in all their pants

“she want the whole crew, shawty brave”

Fast- Sueco The Child

again- he thinks you’re dumb girl that just wants his dick and his clout

(Ik damn well he uses the word clout)

he doesn’t think his personally is all that special (nor does he care) so you’re obviously just wanting to fuck around

THOT!- Tokyo’s Revenge

“You’ll probably fuck the team if someone slide you a lil’ bean hoe.

BYEEEE BAHAHA WONT EVEN EXPLAIN

“She gon' suck the skin off the dick, love me not”

He’ll keep you around in case he wants to fwy a little BAHA-

TENDOU-

Faucet Failure-Ski Mask The Slump God

Take a listen and tell me it isn’t Tendou

it’s because it’s not- ITS THE FACT HE WOULD BE YELLING OUT THE SONG IN THE HALLWAYS BYE-

chaotic energy that is perfect for him

watch him just point at himself during a game and belt out “WHO’S THIS HE SHOULD BE IN COCKPIT”

Walking On A Dream- Empire of The Sun

He cares about Ushi so much- they’re complete opposites and yet fit eachother so well

Tendou understands Ushijima’s stoicness, just like Ushi understands Tendou’s “oddness”

He’s odd. He knows that- and has come to love it (as he should)

“Don't stop, just keep going on. I'm your shoulder, lean upon”

*Timeskip Spoiler* they still keep in touch all the time 🥺 Tendou is so proud to be able to watch him on TV and say “that’s my best friend”

So when Ushi needed someone to talk to, he was there

The song itself is about the writers strong friendship with his bandmate-

And just like that, it’s perfect in describing Tendou and Ushi

Tendou appreciates him so much, he has filled a huge, special, and emotional role in his life

“Two people become one.”

Peaches- Milk and Bone

“Don’t give a fuck about what they say, I turn around and ask ‘Hey is my hair okay?’”

No matter how much we work on our confidence, there will be moments where we all slip and get a feeling of insecurity again.

It’s perfectly normal. Don’t beat yourself over it.

“We paint our faces like you've never seen- Yeah I know, it's not even Halloween”

I find this representing of the fact that Tendou does not care if people see him as creepy or a monster anymore

You’ve never seen someone like him before

It’s fun, it’s crazy, it’s like you’re going 80 mph and hit a speed bump

It’s perfectly Tendou

BACK TO HAIKYUU MASTERLIST

© k3lynn 2021, do not modify or repost without permission

(Reblogging/sharing through Tumblr is okay 💕)

[thevikingtales]

The Following Day

Ivar woke up startled to the loud sound of laughter. The way he sat up straight and reached for his knife only made the laughter grow in volume and intensity. It came from his brothers, of course. "Ivar! What are you dreaming of? Who are you trying to reach? Is it a girl?" Hvitserk managed to ask, wiggling his eyebrows in the most suggestive manner. "Oohh is it Margrethe?" Ubbe seemed interested as well. "Of course it's not Margrethe!" Sigurd frowned, a hint of jealousy in his voice he quickly tried to disguise with a soft laugh. "Are there any girls in Kattegat interested in Ivar, though? He's quite heavy for a guy without legs..." All that mockery made the younger viking mad, and he grunted angrily at Sigurd, throwing the knife in his direction. It flew right past his head, gently brushing his left ear, and stabbed the wooden wall behind him. Eyes wide open, the one known as Snake in the Eye said no more. He knew Ivar never missed a target, so he took his warning seriously. "Come, let's eat something. Then we'll scout around the shore." Ubbe invited, trying to cease his brothers' quarrel. With a nod of his head, Ivar put on his leg braces, grabbed his crutch and followed the older princes to the great hall. While Hvitserk devoured some bread, Ivar only took a few nibbles from an apple, not feeling particularly hungry. Thinking about it, he didn't know exactly how he felt . That dream had made him both curious and worried. He certainly wanted to find out more or even meet those creatures, but he didn't want his brothers to do the same. Was it because he didn't want them to hurt the mysterious beings, or because he wanted to be the first and only one to have them, besting his brothers? He wasn't sure. But he surely wanted to return to the shore.

Meanwhile, inside a deep, rocky cave not far from there, the two lost daughters of Njord woke up. The cut on Nana's tail didn't hurt that much anymore, so she decided to go and get some breakfast for herself and her sister Kori. "Don't worry, sis! I'll be back in no time, and I'll bring your favourite seaweed!" The younger princess promised, smiling cheerfully before she ventured outside. She knew she had to be careful not to swim too close to the shore, but the absence of voices above the surface put her mind at ease a little. What Nana didn't expect, was that there would be traps farther from the shore and deeper into the sea. So the somewhat carefree and clumsy seamaiden got herself caught inside one of them while trying to pluck a particularly tasty-looking seaweed. "Oh no, oh no... how does this thing open?" She panicked, trying to break free. But her frantic movements only served to warn the man in the boat floating above her that his plan had worked. Giggling happily, Floki pulled the rope until the wooden cage resurfaced, and beaming with curiosity, he took a look at its contents. "What in Odin's name..." He giggled some more. This certainly wasn't a fish, but a descendent from Njord himself! Ivar would be so happy! Careful not to attract unwanted attention, the boat builder quickly returned to the shore, and ignoring the creature's loud screeches, carried the trap and hid it inside one of the longboats still under construction. Then, he covered it with a light fabric and sent his wife, sweet Helga, to bring Ivar.

[theteenage-dream]

Bored? Want some Tea? Here:

I just found out my "best friend" of 8+ years got a matching tattoo with her best friend...what the fuck. Let's call her G, well G turned 18 in May and my birthday isn't until the end of this month. We told each other we'd wait for each other so we can get it together...she didn't even tell me right away. The other girl, uhh S drove her (she's 18) and they got Kuromi and MyMelody. G told me 3-4 days afterwards only because she was buzzing with excitement (from what I could tell in her methods of texting). The worst part is that S is the girl she abandoned me for in 5th grade. She never called me her best friend and when people would ask I'd say it and she'd deny it. But G was never so quiet about S. I'm jealous because S is like me but more bold and loud. That's pretty much it. And it makes me sad because now people think I'm trying to be like her.

Fun fact: G once spent the weekend over at my house and actually spent more than 3 hours talking on the phone with S...and worse yet, she didn't want me to hear the convo so she locked herself in my restroom. I mean, I took this time to purge my food out but what the fuck. Who does that? She's always done shit like this and never shows me kindness and is hardly there for me when I put so much effort and love into our relationship. I can't even cut her off because I feel bad for her and don't want her to be alone. But I just think I'm also incapable of doing it because I know how well she'd do without me. She'd make a scene and cry to everybody saying I cut her off for no reason and then get their sympathy and have more fun without me in her life. She's done something similar before. I've told her so many things...deep secrets. Although, not the worst ones nor many. Well I did tell her a LOOOOT but I like to sacrifice the less important stuff and "overshare" so that people never suspect you're actually hiding so much inside. Ugh, I'd always share to try and get her to open up and trust me but she never did. I understand it's hard for her to talk it is for me too! But I'm actively trying to become a better person. That's the difference. But I could never really trust her either. It makes me sad. She never shows me off, gives gifts (besides sometimes on holidays b/c I'm a big gift giver), does favors for me, tells me words of endearment, or spends time with me. She would never say I'm her bsf unless she says "bestie" in a sentence. She isn't as fortunate as I am in money (although my family's broke rn haha) but I always put her needs before mine and she could just give random rocks or flowers she finds on the ground. But she doesn't. Not even a little piece of paper with a smiley face on it or anything. I'd do that all the time. I always try to make sure she knows I'm there for her and say words of affirmation all the time. She'd just roll her eyes or say "ew" "playfully". But at least she knew. I tried to be affectionate and she craves physical touch but yet, she couldn't accept it. So I understood but made it very clear I wouldn't mind holding her hand or hugging her or wtv. And sometimes we did hold hands. But she'd always complain about craving physical touch and I'd just look at her like "hello what did I say? I'm here for you dude". She would also never really do anything for me. Sure she did small favors like plug in something for me but otherwise she didn't even help me turn light switches off when I was using crutches. SHE'D WATCH ME LIMP TO RETRIEVE THINGS LIKE BRO. Sure she had her nice moments but there were a lot more moments where she wasn't so nice.

But maybe well maybe she didn't tell me about her tattoo b/c I never respond (i struggle with depression and social anxiety so I get scared to respond to texts) (i was also sick when she got it). But she could've. She never texts me first :(. I always have to text her and she never checks on me and I randomly make sure she's alive and at least trying to stay hydrated. Holy crap...she never texts me first. I'm starting to realize a lot more things. OH and she wouldn't really try to do stuff together unless it benefited her. Like when she was home alone or stuck babysitting her lil sis, she'd ask if we wanted to hang out and ofc I said yes (unless I was unable). Or like, since my parents are strict, she wouldn't even try to ask me and one time, S picked up G and then asked me if I wanted to go to Sonic with them and I asked my parents and they said yes. We had fun together but I felt like the 3rd wheel. Oh also btw S is dating my ex boyfriend that I had to break up with because my depression was getting severe because I realized I had been raped by another guy. I love him (S's boyfriend not-) but he always had a thing for S. And it hurts me so much, but as long as he's happy...that's all I want for him. Even if it can't be with me... anyways G told S she doesn't ever try to invite me anymore since it's likely my parents'll say no. But like...i could at least try. It's always good to invite someone even if you know they can't or are busy. It's just basic etiquette. She was very two-faced as well. She'd talk behind my back and betray me easily. She'd spill my secrets to S because she wasn't loyal to me and I was...one time, she started hanging out with someone dangerous. Someone who spreads rumors and purposely causes drama. So I warned her about it and she told the girl. I ended up getting into a talk with the other girl. She came up to me "Can I talk to you?". I so should've said no. I will now. I'm growing. I'm learning how to not be duch a doormat and that saying no is my right. It's just really hard when those people try to beat you down because of it. But that was it. G was the closest thing I had to a "best friend". I'm always everyone's last choice. I'm not anyone's favorite or preferred friend. I'm the forgettable one in the group. I'm not special. I really just want to die. I'm all alone. Perpetually alone. I'm not perfect, and I'm fucked up too. But, I try to be the kindest for people. Because I don't want them to feel the way I do. I crave affection. I need validation from others. I care so much about what others think...

I like being alone but it gets tiresome when you've done it all your life ans have felt different from everyone. I think I'm a terrible person because I can't cut her off but want to do it to her before she does it to me so that it protects my dignity and because I have pride...well tbh it's more like if I do it first, I'm not being rejected so that I won't cry as much bevause someone doesn't like me. This post is getting long. There's more but it's 2:52AM. Oh and for those who wanna know, G is a Gemini and I'm a Virgo. S is a Sagittarius and her boyfriend is a Cancer. I miss him dearly. Well time to watch cheesy tween romance characters to fulfill that need.

[somedayonbroadway]

Hi! I know this can be triggering but i haven’t really seen it anywhere and i really wanted to find something like this so could you do some anorexic race? i’ve seen elmer, albert- hell, even spot. but never race

Here’s a little something! Lemme know if you’d like to see more!

Fandom: Newsies

Characters: Racetrack Higgins, Crutchie Morris, Jack Kelly, Katherine Plumber, Albert DaSilva (mentioned)

Words: 3K+

Summary: Jack had called him in hysterics. Four days ago. Crutchie could hardly make out the words. Tyler. Hospital. Please come back. (Bad Things Happens Bingo: Eating Disorder).

TW: EATING DISORDER

Here we go! Another story for my @badthingshappenbingo card!

This ones a bit shorter than the others.

I have written another story previously about an eating disorder and I did get a review telling me that I didn't know what I was writing about. So I'll be honest, I was a little nervous to write this one. I do have to ask that no one assumes anything on any of my works. I love you all dearly, but here's the truth: None of you guys know what I've been through really. I wrote that last fic after I visited my baby cousin in the hospital for having an eating disorder. So please don't tell me what I know or don't know.

Also, these kinds of things are tricky. Every case is different. So please, if you don't like the way I write these things, don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Realize that our experiences are very different and maybe I haven't been where you're at.

Sorry for the rant.

Anyways...

Enjoy!

It was raining. Every drop hit that glass window like it was so desperate to break right through it.

Jack wished it would stop. It made everything feel that much drearier. It made the world feel a little darker, as if the universe knew what was happening. As if it had known that something that seemed so wrong was still happening in the world. Jack was no stranger to the cruelties of the world.

But this was something he hadn't even seen coming. This was something he hadn't prepared for. Something that truly terrified him.

The boy in his arms stirred just a bit when the door creaked open. Jack's heart stuttered. "Shshshshshshshhhhhhh…" he soothed, running a gloved hand over those blond curls. And those big blue eyes barely made an effort to peak up at him before they were hiding again. All Jack could do was sigh in relief and hold the child just a bit tighter just as someone slowly made their way into the room, right towards them. "Si' down, Crutch… I j'st got him ta sleep…" Jack murmured, knowing the younger man didn't have a clue what to do.

Doing as he was told, Crutchie didn't dare take his eyes off of the weakened boy in his bed. He readjusted the gloves on his hands and the mask on his face. Jack wore them just the same. But that didn't stop the child on his chest from cuddling into him like there was no danger in that. "Are you sure ya should be—?"

"It's been four days," Jack breathed, looking up at him. It was only then that Charlie saw the tears in his eyes. "Four days n' he hasn't even taken a ten minute nap. He asked me ta hold him, so I did n' he fell asleep n' now I can't… I just… I ain't gonna wake him now…" He couldn't do it. He couldn't bear to watch it again. To know that the child he held so dearly just couldn't sleep on his own. "I'm sorry…" he breathed in deeply, trying to keep in the tears and calm himself down. "I just didn't know what else ta do…"

The words broke Crutchie's heart. He nodded. "It's okay, Jack… as long as he's gettin' some sleep…" he whispered.

Jack nodded too, clearly a bit on edge. He looked down yet again to the child dozing on top of him. And his heart tightened when he remembered he wasn't allowed to kiss his forehead. "I-I'm glad you're here…" he admitted, still not looking up.

What he failed to notice was that Crutchie wasn't looking up either. The younger man's green eyes were solely set on the boy. He couldn't help but take the child in. Every inch of him.

He was so thin. He could practically see the bones beneath that pale skin.

"Sorry it took so long… I forgot my ID… they wouldn't let me in without knowin' I was older 'n eighteen…" he muttered, leaning forward to get a better look at the frail child. He could see it even in the boy's face. He was practically a stick. It was terrifying. "S-so… wh-what happened?" he asked, still unsure as to how they'd ended up here. How this had all happened.

Jack leaned down to tuck blond curls beneath his chin. He sighed. "We were comin' home… from his school. Kath was with us…"

"I think you chose the movie last weekend, Love," Katherine stated, walking a bit ahead of the two boys behind her.

Jack shook his head. "Are you sure, babe?"

Laughing with a quick nod back in his direction. "We watched 'Jurassic World'. And the weekend before that we watched 'Split' for Race. It's my turn and I chose 'Ever After' and you both have to sit with me the whole time!" she demanded, knowing they'd get bored.

Then she bounded on ahead of them, key in hand.

It was just like any other day.

It was normal.

Except for one thing.

Race lagging behind. He wasn't mouthing off. He wasn't arguing. In fact, he was leaning heavily on the railing of the stairs they were walking up. And he looked horrible.

Jack just assumed he was sick. Like he had for the past couple weeks. Maybe he just wasn't getting enough sleep.

"Hey, baby… ya doin' okay?" he asked, falling back a couple steps to be at his little brother's side. "Ya tired?"

The boy looked over at him and paused on the stairs, offering him a weak smile. "I'm fine, Jackie…" he insisted, taking a deep breath and making a move to continue up the stairs.

A skeptical look came over Jack's face. The boy had gotten into the habit of wearing large, baggy sweats wherever he went, no matter the weather. "Maybe you're hot. It might help ta take the sweatshirt off," he suggested, walking with the fifteen year old as his girl unlocked their apartment door.

"It's fine, bubba… really," the kid insisted again. "I just… I need ta rest for a second…'' The words were weak. And Jack's heart dropped when the boy's eyes rolled back into his head and his knees buckled.

Jack barely caught the child as he began to fall backwards. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Racer?!" he cried, lowering himself onto the steps and holding the boy in his lap. "Tyler?!"

The boy was completely passed out for a long moment as Jack panicked, unsure of what to do as the kid's sweatshirt slid up on his torso.

That's when Jack saw it. He could see the boy's rib cage. "Shit…" he muttered, looking back up to his brother's face. "Tyler! Tyler, wake up!"

Those blue eyes fluttered. But they did not open. "Jackie…?" It was hardly a breath. Jack almost missed it.

"Baby?!"

"I… I think I need a h'spital…" the child admitted drearily.

Without even thinking, Jack just nodded vigorously. "Okay… okay, stay awake, TJ! We're… we're gonna get you help…" he promised, looking up the flight of stairs. "Katherine! Katherine, call an ambulance!" he cried, lifting the boy up.

The young woman rushed back out of the apartment, confused until she saw what was happening. And she grabbed her phone. "Oh my God! Tyler?!"

Jack scooped the boy up the best he could. "Kath, which way's the closest hospital?!"

"Jack, I'm calling. An ambulance is coming!"

Jack whimpered but didn't argue as he cradled the boy to him and bounced him up in his arms. "Stay awake, kiddo… we're getting you help… you're gonna be okay…" For the first time, he realized how light the kid was. How dangerously light the kid was. "Oh bubba, what happened?"

Race did not respond to him. And it just scared Jack even more.

"They're coming, Jack!" Katherine promised. "Tyler, they're coming! What happened?"

Jack didn't answer. He couldn't.

He couldn't answer.

A tear trailed down Jack's cheek and he shook his head. "We got him here n'... the doctor said he had a resting heart rate of forty two beats per minute… they weighed him. He's eighty nine pounds. His immune system is weak. He was dyin' n' I didn't even notice…" he stated, feeling his throat tighten as he thought about it all again.

"Jack…" Crutchie breathed, shaking his head.

"He didn't even seem scared… he just… sat there like he knew this was comin'..." Jack recalled. He wished he could scream.

"So… what? He just wasn't eatin'?"

Jack let out a bitter, humorless laugh. "I don't know! He won't talk about it. He seems ta think that if he pretends everythin's normal, somehow it will be." He steadied his breaths as best he could. He'd been holding it together for days. He was confused and tired and hungry and scared and he just didn't know what to do. "The doctors think he just wasn't eatin' f'r as long as he could n' then when he did, he'd try to burn it all off."

Crutchie only nodded. "Okay… okay, Jack… it's okay… he's here… he's alive…"

"It's not okay, Charlie!" Jack cried. "I almost lost custody of him six years ago because the judge thought I wouldn't be able to take care of him n' now—" He couldn't help it anymore. There were full fledged tears rushing down his face, dripping onto the mask he wore over his mouth.

His younger brother was heartbroken. The younger man carefully placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jack. No one is gonna take him away. They can't just do that—"

"I'm scared." It was rare for Jack to admit things like that. It was even rarer for him to admit that to one of his brothers.

Charlie nodded. "And it's okay to be scared, big brother. It's okay."

"But—" A hand tightening in the front of the scrubs that Jack wore made him pause. Jack looked down, almost horrified.

Big blue eyes looked up at him, still exhausted, but very much awake.

Everything froze for a moment. No one spoke and no one moved. Tears still fell down Jack's face. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His baby brother perched his chin on the young man's chest as he looked up at him and Jack couldn't hope but shake his head. He couldn't help but want to cry even harder.

"Racer, Jack's gonna go get some coffee, okay?" Charlie stated, confusing Jack for only a moment before he could understand.

The look that sparked in Race's eyes nearly broke both of his brothers completely. "Um… okay…" he managed to get out, no matter how shakily it might've been. It was clear the boy was holding back sobs of his own.

But Jack managed to slowly maneuver the teenager onto the mattress and slip out from beneath him. Then he stood and reached to brush the boy's curls back, his hand trembling as he did so. Race did nothing to stop him from leaving. So Jack let the back of his fingers smoothly trail down his baby brother's cheek before he turned and fled the room.

He barely made it before he had to rip the mask off of his face and crumble to the ground in the hallway just outside.

How did he miss this?

When the door shut, Race felt himself swallow hard. His fist curled into the soft blanket that lay beneath him. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and lazily looked up at the young man still sitting beside him. He tried to smile. But it faltered so easily. And the tears came. He didn't get out a word. He couldn't do it.

All he could do was cry.

"Hey… hey, Tyler… hey…" Charlie tried, scooting himself forward.

Race shook his head. "I didn' mean it! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" the child whimpered, trying to hide in his pillows and beneath his blankets. "I don' wan' 'em ta take me away…"

Charlie pulled the blanket from him and scooted even closer to his bedside, his heart unable to handle the small confession. "Tyler James, look at me…" he asked. "Please…" It took a long moment. But the boy's eyes eventually trailed up to his own. "Hey… there you are…" he breathed, earning a sad smile from the boy. "I missed you…"

"I missed you, too…" came the watery reply. He reached out for Charlie's hand. Charlie took it. But he could practically feel the boy's disappointment when he felt the glove rather than his skin. "I'm sorry ya had ta fly out here," the boy whispered.

The young man squinted at him. "Tyler… I'll always come for you… always. I don't care how I gotta get here. You're more important than anythin' else I have, okay?"

Jack had called him in hysterics. Four days ago. Crutchie had hardly been able to make out the words. Tyler. Hospital. Please come back.

He'd been in the middle of a class. His phone had gone off in his pocket so many times. He'd finally excused himself and then he'd gotten that call. The one that made him rush out of class in the middle of a lecture. He had professors emailing him. Telling him he couldn't just leave like this.

He hadn't messaged them back yet.

They weren't as important as his baby brother.

The boy looked up at him with those eyes. Those big, puppy dog eyes that always managed to manipulate him. He sighed as Race played with the hand Crutchie had given him. "I didn't mean ta scare Jack…" he insisted, his voice strained. "I… didn't mean ta do this…"

Nodding, Charlie smiled. "You know Jack, kid. You're his little boy." It was true. This kid was why Jack got up in the morning for so long. Tyler was practically Jack's own. Jack had raised them both. But Crutchie had always tended to learn on his own.

Race had clung to Jack since the day he was born.

"Do… d'ya think he's mad at me?"

The question shocked Charlie. He didn't understand it. He didn't understand this boy. "What? Of course not! He's scared for you!" he said. He knew he shouldn't have. It wasn't something the kid would want to hear. But it was the truth. "Racer… I'm scared for you, too," he admitted. That's when Race wouldn't look him in the eyes.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that this boy was fifteen. Sometimes, all Crutchie could see was that little boy who'd been such a light for him and Jack amidst all the darkness in their lives. Right now was one of those moments. Despite everything that had happened over the course of this poor child's life, he still looked so helplessly innocent.

And he stole his brother's heart all over again.

"I… I thought I could control it…" the child whispered, swallowing hard and focusing down on their hands. The boy traces the lines of Charlie's palm, even over the latex gloves he wore. "I thought… I thought it would be okay… at least at the beginning…" he admitted, only peaking up at his brother every now and again. "I didn't mean f'r it ta get this bad… I didn't think it would…" That's when the tears started coming again. That's when he just couldn't hold them back anymore. "I don't like not bein' able ta touch no one… n' I don't like that I can't see my friends…"

Crutchie shushed him and wiped away at his baby brother's cheeks. "I know, kid… I know…"

"Al tried ta come yesterday… but they wouldn't let him in… they didn't even care if I wan'ed ta see him, they just told him he couldn't come in…" he explained. "I didn't mean ta do this! I was gonna get better, I just—"

"It's okay, kid… ya ain't gonna be stuck here forever," Charlie promised, brushing the curls out of Race's eyes. "Ya wanna… ya wanna tell me how this started?" he asked, skeptical he'd actually get any information. "Ya don't have to. Ya know… If ya don't wanna…"

The boy sniffled and rolled onto his back. Crutchie bit his lip as he saw the whole of him. The kid looked so breakable. So small and thin and so very fragile. Charlie was afraid to touch him. He was so scared he might snap.

"It… I j'st… I wasn't eatin' enough…" the child began, reaching out to grab at his big brother's hand once again. Crutchie nodded, silently begging him to continue. "I… I don't know… I j'st… I ate the same way we did at the last house we was in…" If there was something that could truly worry the young man right then, that was it.

"Tyler, Snyder hardly fed us," he stated, as if it should've been obvious.

But it hit him all a bit too quickly.

Race had never been in a home where they'd truly fed them properly. Not until Jack. Crutchie had no doubts in his mind that Jack had the supplies for three meals a day and then some for this boy.

The kid didn't look up at him at that. "I just figured if I could do it then, I could do it now n' it'd be fine. N' it was… but I… I started runnin' more f'r cross country a couple months ago n'—"

"Hold on, months?!" The boy flinched. But Charlie hadn't expected it. He hadn't expected the boy to have been starving himself for that long. For some reason he's expected it to be a short time.

And then he truly thought about it.

Jack's internship had started about six months ago. He wasn't home with Race as often as he had been for so long.

"Charlie, it was an accident! I just couldn't stop! It just… I didn't know how ta stop once I started…"

The words brought tears to the young man's eyes. "Kid… why didn't you ask for help?" he asked. Had he really failed the boy that much that his baby brother thought he couldn't come to him for anything? He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't angry at the child. He wasn't even disappointed with him. He was just… scared. Scared that maybe he'd done something wrong. Maybe if he'd been there, things would've been different.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." The boy tried to clear his throat. Charlie knew he was holding back sobs.

He knew the kid wanted Jack. But Jack needed a break. Or a breakdown, Charlie commented to himself, wishing he could just be in two places at once. "Okay… okay, we don't gotta talk about that. We can talk about somethin' else. Unless you wanna sleep?" he suggested, his voice filled with hope.

But Race bit his lip and shook his head. "I… I just wanna go home…"

Crutchie tried to smile. "I know, kid…" he sighed, massaging the boy's hand. "I know…"

A comfortable but sad silence fell over them. Crutchie tried to help the boy relax just a bit. He heard the boy's breaths get deeper. He watched the boy's eyes closed. But he knew the boy wasn't asleep. The kid wouldn't fall asleep if he thought Jack was upset with him.

Charlie could only do so much.

He sighed and watched the boy rest his eyes as his mind wandered. He let himself think back to the day he'd held this boy for the first time. He'd only been six. Jack had been ten.

It was the most terrifying thing he'd ever done in his life.

The kid had been screaming. He was scared and confused and so curious. And he'd stolen their hearts from the second they'd met him.

Race sighed, feeling out of breath for a moment and he let his eyes slowly drift open again. Charlie was focused down on his hand. The child couldn't help but let his gaze drift to the door. He just wanted to go home.

He let his eyes fall shut again as he focused on breathing. He was hooked up to too many machines. The feeding tube was the one that he hated the most. He squirmed a bit when his mind was drawn back to it. He didn't like it. Or the IV in his arm. He couldn't relax knowing they were there.

It was why he'd needed Jack to hold him. Jack had always had this gift. A gift that allowed him to distract Race so easily.

Race wished he could do the same for his brother.

He wished he could do the same for both of his brothers.

For a long while he lay there, trying not to think. But he knew the discomfort would win out eventually.

Just as he was about to talk to Charlie again, the door reopened. And a nurse walked in.

Jack was trailing behind her. He was wearing a fresh pair of gloves and a new mask. And he was breathing steadily. Race's eyes lit up when he saw him. But he didn't say anything. He was too nervous.

"How are you feeling, Tyler?" The boy sat himself up and shrugged.

Jack slowly walked over to him, gently bringing a hand down to rub his back. "You um… ya wanna try… ya wanna try eating, baby?"

Race looked up at his brothers. He just wanted things to be normal.

But he truly didn't know if he could do it.

So he shrugged once again, on the verge of tears.

And Crutchie grasped his hand again. "Hey… you're doin' okay, kiddo… everything's gonna be okay…"

Jack looked down between his little brothers and managed an encouraging nod. He sat on the edge of Race's bed. "Baby… you're gonna get better. Don't matta' how long it takes… we're gonna be right here with ya… if you ain't ready t'day… it's okay. We can just try again tomorrow…" Jack promised.

The youngest of them turned to Jack and threw his arms around his big brother, wondering how on earth he'd been given the gift of getting to be raised by this man. Jack just wrapped him up all the same, reaching down for Charlie's hand. The other man laughed as he was pulled up and over to shield this little boy from the rest of the world. "We gotcha, Racer… we always gotcha…"

The boy could do nothing but believe them as he was swallowed up by the two embraces that had kept him alive for fifteen years. "Okay…" he breathed, his voice wobbly and terrified. "Okay…"

Jack ran a gloved hand over the boy's hair. "I love you so much, kid… ya know that?" All Race could do was nod. "Good… we're gonna get through this together. Yeah?"

Charlie let out a breath and held tighter to the boy.

They could do this.

Everything would be okay.

"We gotcha… we gotcha…"

If anyone's asking, Crutchie goes to school in California. That's why he was away.

Alright!

As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, what you'd change or what you'd improve by leaving me a review! Love ya, fansies.

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

A love like silk// Han Jisung pt.8

Bad boy!Jisung

Genre: Angst/ Fluff Summary: Silk, one of the softest fabrics on the planet. It’s breathable and comfortable. Just like how he was to you. He gave you space to breath. He always made sure you were okay. Yet why, do people say he’s bad to you? He gave you a love that’s soft and tender. A love that involves soft touches, tight hugs for comfort and sweet talk, smooth like silk. Word count: 2,0k Warnings: Swearing, themes of bullying, themes of depression.

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The boys ran through the halls of the hospital as soon as they got the information on which room Y/n was staying in. Jisung’s stumbled behind the others who hurried their way past the people. Jisung felt at fault, it was his fault, right?

The younger boys were a mess as they reached the room, wanting to go inside to check on Y/n’s state. Yasmin tried to calm the youngers down alongside with Chan and Woojin, whilst Jisung just watched the scene in front of him happen.

“Are you okay by the way?” Chan asks Yasmin who sat down in front of them. She gave him a nod in responds as she sighed.

“The doctor said she’ll wake up soon.” Yasmin stated calmly. “Can we go inside?” Jeongin asked desperately. “It’s better to wait until she has woken up, the doctors still need to do some check-ups on her.”

The boys stayed silence, not knowing how to react at the sudden situation they were in right now. “Sadly, this has happened before.” Yasmin whispered. The boys shot their head towards her in shock. “W-what?”

“Y/n passed out in the middle of the road, a car came towards her way in high speed and she got hit as she fell to the ground according to the driver.” Yasmin started, the boys staying quite as they listened to her.

Jisung sat a little further from them, his eyes fixed away from them. His body refilling with guilt as he kept listening to Yasmin’s words. “This was the first time she passed out in the middle of the road, but she has passed out before-“ “Miss Yasmin?” A doctor who walked out of Y/n’s room called out. “Yes?” “Miss Y/n has woken up, you can all go see her now, but keep it down please. She suffers from a bad headache.” The doctor says kindly before moving out of the way, letting the guys and Yasmin run in. Jisung hesitated on following them inside and decided to wait outside for a while.

“Y/n! What happened? Yasmin called us, we were so worried!” Chan stressed. “I’m sorry I got you guys worried, it wasn’t my intention. I’m alright though, just some bruised ribs and scratches on my head.” Y/n smiled through the pain as she sat up. Jisung sighed in relief when he heard that Y/n was okay.

“How did you suddenly pass out in the middle of the road?” Felix asked carefully. Y/n sighed and shot them an apologetic smile before she started.

“Back when I lived in Singapore or when Yasmin and I were younger, I used to be depressed. I haven’t felt like this in a long time, since Yasmin always helped me over it. Like the time when she ‘forced’ me to explore the city. I was really down that day, because I missed the people and the city where I lived in back in Singapore. When I explored the city, I stared feeling better, also because I started to talk to Jisung that day to be honest. I ran into him in a café and ever since has he been one of the people who, unconsciously, helped me with my mental health.”

Jisung was frozen in his spot, never did he know or think that Y/n would be someone who suffered from depression. She always looked so happy, she had perfected the mask she would put on and Jisung felt sad and guilty for never noticing.

“This of course doesn’t explain why I pass out.” Y/n chuckled to try and clear the thick atmosphere that hung in her room. “When I’m back at my depressing spiral of feeling, I don’t feel like eating, sleeping and I usually isolate myself from the world. My parents know as well and they try to get me outside, but when I do, I just sit there like a zombie. This is how I passed out in the middle of the road, I hadn’t eaten or slept well for the past few days and I guess my system just gave up on me, but it happened before so don’t worry.”

The boys gave her sad apologetic looks, just like Jisung felt they guilty for never noticing or not knowing. They felt disappointed in themselves as somebody who calls himself a friend of hers.

Y/n patted some of the boys’ backs comfortingly, not wanting them to feel sad or guilty about the situation, until she noticed that Jisung wasn’t present in the room.

“Where is Jisung?” She asked Yasmin, who quietly minded her own business. She would look around in confusion when she didn’t see the boy in the room with the rest.

“I don’t know, he was just with us a second ago-“ She started, until she saw a familiar figure slowly making his way into the room. Y/n’s eyes followed where Yasmin was looking and to her shock, she saw the sad state Jisung was in.

He was shaking as he sobbed his heart out with his red puffy eyes. Her heart broke when she saw him and out of reflex she jumped out of her bed, trying to rush to him. But her body failed her as she was still weak, making her fall to the ground. She winced in pain as she did, making Jisung run to her and help her back in her hospital bed. He tucked her back in bed and sat closely to her, his vision still blurry from the tears.

Y/n stared into his eyes, a feeling of confusion filling her mind and chest. After all that happened between the two of them, she still had a soft spot for him. She maybe even thought that she would have that soft spot for him for the rest of her life. She knew she loved him, but he had hurt her so bad.

Jisung knew he hurt her.

He couldn’t bare the overwhelming feeling that had replaced the guilt in his chest, not knowing how to describe it. He took her hands in his and gave it a comforting squeeze, before he got back on his feet and left the building.

He could see the pain in her eyes whenever she looked at him and he couldn’t bare it any longer, but he wanted to promise her that it would be all right.

----------

It’s been two days since the boys had visited Y/n in the hospital. She was sent home the same day, but also told that she needed to rest. Now two days later she wanted to go back to school, not wanting to miss any more classes.

She still had some scratches on her face and her leg. She did need crutches after her little stunt she performed at the hospital. Her legs weren’t checked up completely and the doctors found out that she had bruised her ankle quite badly.

After she had waved her dad goodbye, she slowly made her way to the entrance of the school, where Jisung was waiting for her. She stopped a couple meters in front of him in shock and confusion, especially when he greeted her and took her bag from her.

“What are you-“ “I’m holding your stuff for you.” He muttered. “I’m capable of holding it myself-“ “You have Art class first, right?” He said before he started walking ahead of her, making her sigh.

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As the day went on, the students were confused.

‘Why is Jisung helping her? I thought he ditched her.’ ‘I heard that he was the cause of the accident Y/n was in and wants to make it up.’ ‘Why would he try, he should run her over with a bus or something.’ They would say in the hallways.

But Jisung didn’t care that people were talking about him. He actually felt like he was the one who hit her with a car. He wanted to make up with her and this would be the very start of that process. He didn’t know what happened to himself. It’s like his mind got possessed by somebody else. It needed to stop and Jisung finally realised.

----------

When school ended Jisung still held on to Y/n’s stuff. She tried avoiding him, but the crutched were giving her a disadvantage.

“You know you don’t have to do this right?” “Jisung don’t you have class right now?” She would ask him as he picked her up from her classes, to walk her to her next period.

He kept silence the whole day and quietly put her stuff in front of her when they arrived and gave her a box of juice and some cookies.

Now Jisung was walking Y/n to the car where her dad was waiting for her. He felt anxious of what her parents would think of him after this whole situation, still feeling responsible. But to his surprise, her father was happy to see Jisung again.

“She keeps telling us good things about you, but she never takes you back at our place anymore? You must be busy.” Her dad laughed kindly.

Jisung was bamboozled. She had never said anything bad about him? He wondered why.

“My wife and I are just so glad that a kind young man like you would look out for our only daughter. She has been through some dark times and we were happy to hear that you helped her through them. You’re a great person, thank you.” He smiled as he shook Jisung’s hand, who tried not to break down in front of him. He decided to fix his eyes to the ground and bowed politely, before walking away. He turned around, hopeful that Y/n would watch him walk away, but to his bad, she wasn’t.

The tears that were brimming from his eyes earlier, were now rolling down on his soft cheek. When the car left, he froze in his spot, not knowing what else to do but cry. Just at that emotional moment an angry voice was heard behind him.

“Ji!” The female yelled; it was Jiyeon. “I’ve been calling, texting and looking for you all day! Are you trying to avoid me? Are you playing some kind of game with me? Unbelievable!” She yelled at him even though she saw him in his emotional state.

“I missed you Ji.” She whined as she threw her body on his in an embrace, but Jisung threw her arms off him.

“Can’t you just leave me the fuck alone? You’re so annoying! I can’t stand the sound of your voice and you constantly want to be with me, when you obviously know that I do not love you like that. You’re a cool girl, but you’re not my type.” Jisung snapped in anger. “What do you mean?” “Just leave me alone. I don’t like or love you in the way you want me to! You’re the whole fucking cause of this fucking mess and I’m sick and tired of it!” Jisung yelled, stepping away from her as she tried to touch him.

“But, why did you-“ “I don’t know okay? I was caught up in the moment! And you know what, I’m breaking up with you. I realised it was all in the heat of the moment.” Jisung exclaimed. “What moment? What the fuck are you talking about?” Jiyeon cried out in confusion. “Nothing. Just- We’re over Jiyeon. We’re done. That’s all you need to know.”

And just like that, Jisung left Jiyeon. She watched him walk away as anger filled her veins and revenge came to her mind.

This was probably Y/n’s fault and she was going to pay for this.

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[jamielea81]

A Walk in the Park

Chapter 4

Read Chapter 3 Here

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: A couple of curse words, fluff, mention of character death.

This is purely for fun. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. If you would like to be tagged, please let me know.

Even after your late night out, you still had trouble sleeping in. It was seven in the morning on a Saturday and you couldn’t sleep another wink. Pulling the corner of the quilt off your body, being careful not to jilt your ankle, you gingerly eased out of bed. I can always take a nap later. Your stomach grumbled alerting you that it also did not sleep in on the weekends. After fixing yourself a bowl of cereal and plopping down on your couch, you turned on your television. Saturday mornings were meant for local news and breakfast. One of your little pleasures was watching the news even if they did repeat the stories every fifteen minutes.

After breakfast, you decided to get back in bed to rest and elevate your ankle. You had a couple of texts from Victoria that you responded to. She was mostly just asking how last night was. You kept it vague but promised to call her later. Seeing that it was after ten back in Minnesota, you decided to give your sister in law Vanessa a call. Even if Caleb was no longer with you, his sister would always be your sister. Besides, Vanessa had given you your eight-year-old niece Abby who you adored and probably missed the most. Vanessa is the older sister you never had. You were an only child, so you longed to have that friend that you could share all your secrets with and know that they would always be there. When you learned that Caleb had a sister, you begged to meet her right away. Vanessa, being five years older than you and Caleb, often took on the motherly role. Not that she meant to, but she was married, had a house, had an established career, she couldn’t help herself but give out advice. You were each other’s rock when Caleb passed. She and her husband Brent made up their spare bedroom for you and you stayed with them for weeks. It was too hard to sleep in yours and Caleb’s bed. You’re still not sure how you managed to after moving back home.

After the line rang a few times, your niece Abby picked up the phone. “Aunt Y/N!” She all but screamed into the phone.

Yanking the phone slightly away from your ear in case an additional scream was coming. “Yes, Abby, it’s me. I’ve missed you oh so much. Do you miss me?”

“Everyday. When are you coming home?” She asked.

Oh, she breaks my heart.

“Not for a while yet Bug. I promise you’ll be the first to know when I do.“

A small huff is given. “Ohhhh kay.”

“Could I talk to your mom please?”

“Mommmm! Aunt Y/N is on the phone!” She yells as you once again pull the phone away from your ear.

There’s several moments of silence. It’s evident that she’s abandoned the phone on the counter.

“Hey you.” Vanessa said.

“I can’t believe you guys still have a land line and you actually answer it.” You tease.

“Why don’t you just call my cell phone like a normal person?” She answers back. It’s a game you both play every time you call.

“And miss the chance to talk to my niece, no way! She never answers your cell.”

“If she didn’t manage to drop or lose the last two iPhones I’ve had, she would be allowed to answer it.” She said with a laugh.

“Oh boy. I do miss the adventures of the O’Brien family.” You sighed to yourself mostly. “How’s Brent?”

“He’s doing really well. Busy at work mostly these days. I don’t think I told you, but he got that promotion.” You can tell she’s beaming and you honestly couldn’t happier for them. “He’s taken on more clients so unfortunately he’s gone earlier in the morning. That just means more bus stop duty for me.”

“Vanessa that is great! Not the bus stop duty, but great for Brent. He works his ass off and deserves the success. How are you though? I miss you so much.”

“I’m good. Really good. Of course, I miss you as well. Tell me about California living. I bet you’re sad you moved during the winter and missed most of the snow.”

“Ha Ha. Nah, that’s one thing I don’t miss. I surely don’t miss the salt ring around my jeans from walking in the snow. California is nice. I did underestimate the difficulty of making friends as an adult.” You said with a laugh. “My boss is great and we’ll hangout eventually, when we both aren’t so busy. I told you about that guy at that park, right?” You of course left off his last name. You don’t want the people back home thinking you meet celebrities every day just by walking around LA.

“Yeah. Did something happen there?” A suggestive tone to her voice.

“No. No, nothing like that.”

“Boo.” She said with a little laugh.

“As I was saying. Chris, the guy from the park, he had me over last night with some of his friends and we played some games. It was a lot of fun. I have plans for a girl’s night in a couple of weeks with his friends Emma and Erika.”

“That’s great babe. You deserve this new life. You deserve fun.” Wiping a tear that slowly rolled down your cheek, you smiled.

“Thanks, Vanessa. I did actually call for a reason.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that.”

“What do you say about a girl’s trip of our own? Why don’t you and Abby come out next month. My place is small, but you and Abby can take my bed and I’ll take the couch for a few days. And then I think we should get a nice hotel room for a couple of nights and get spa treatments. I’m sure Abby would love the pampering.” You asked.

“You know your niece too well. Yeah, let me check schedules. Abby’s got a Friday off for a teacher workshop, so I could pull her out for an extra day or two.”

“Yay!” You squealed. OK, just let me know. I’ll have to work out the time off with Victoria, but I know it will pan out. I’m just so excited!”

She laughed. “Love you Y/N. We’ll talk soon.”

“Bye sis. Love you too.”

 Shortly after your call, you fell back to sleep for a couple of hours. Not having anything to do for the day and since you were already laying in your big comfy bed, it wasn’t hard to do.

Nonstop ringing interrupted your slumber. Groaning, you reached for your cell with your eyes still closed. “Hello?”

“Y/N, where exactly do you live?” Asked a male’s voice.

“Huh?” Taking the phone away from your ear to see who it was. Chris? Chris is calling you? “Chris?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Where do you live?”

You gave him the street address and told him your entrance was in the back upstairs. “Why though?”

“I’ll see you soon.” He said and then hung up.

What the fuck?

You’re still in your pajamas and you haven’t showered. You know what your hair looks like without even looking. Did you even brush your teeth?! Deciding that was top priority, you stood up, grabbed your crutches and went into your bathroom to brush your teeth. You then attempted to smooth down your hair. Where’s my bra? Making your way back to the living room/bedroom, you scrambled to find a bra. Remembering you tossed it on your couch when you got home last night, you dropped the crutches and grabbed the bra quickly slipping it on. Moments later there was a knock on your door. Hopping on one foot while grabbing onto anything you could in the apartment to steady yourself, you made it to the door successfully. On the other side was a smiling Chris holding several takeout bags.

“Chris.” You said breathlessly. Get a hold of yourself Y/N. “What are you doing here?”

“Lunch. Obviously.” He said while walking past you as you shuffled to the side. He was wearing a pair of loose light blue jeans, a gray tee with a blue jacket over it. His hair was a little disheveled, but almost like it was purposely done so. And of course, still sporting that gorgeous beard. You sighed, you actually sighed out loud.

“O-okay. Um, but why?” You asked.

“Well, you’re injured and I didn’t want you to be on your feet anymore than you have to.” He smiled while setting the bags on your glass coffee table.

“Are others coming?” Peeking out the door to see if anyone was behind him. “That looks like quite a lot of food.”

He sat down on your couch and started pull out paper plates and plastic silverware. “Well, you see, I wasn’t sure what you liked so I stopped at a few places. I figured whatever we don’t eat, you could have for dinner and maybe lunch tomorrow.”

You gingerly made your way to the couch and sat next to him. “I don’t know what to say. This is really sweet. But just so you know, I have a ton of food in the fridge and can totally make something to eat. Or there’s always Uber Eats.” You said with a smirk. “But thank you, this is really nice.”

“But you shouldn’t have to. I’m sure you’re exhausted from being on your feet last night. It’s no big deal. I was hungry anyway.” Chris said with a shrug.

“Well, what do we have here?” You said while looking down and gesturing with your hand.

“Only the finest cuisine. Lemon chicken with white rice and a couple of eggrolls. A couple of slices of pepperoni pizza, New York style of course.”

“Of course.”

“Chicken burrito bowl. Chili cheese fries and a cheeseburger. And a grilled chicken Caesar salad. You know, just in case.”

“That is quite the menu. How many stops did you have to make?”

He waved his hand dismissing your question. “So, what will it be my lady?”

You gave a shy smile. “An eggroll and a slice of pizza.”

He let out a good chuckle and passed you the food. You both dug in sneaking glances his way while you ate in silence. You noticed he did the same. When you were done, he took your trash and walked to the kitchen to throw it in the bin. He then put the remaining food in your refrigerator. “Are you sure you don’t want to bring anything home with you?”

“Nah, I got it for you. Now you don’t have to cook.” Again, throwing you that winning smile.

He sat back down on your couch angling his body toward you so that his knee was partially laying on the couch. You had your ankle on the coffee table on top of a throw pillow.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Not just your ankle, but with what you shared last night.”

Oh, that’s right. I said it. Out loud.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s been two years. I guess it’s not something that you’re ever good with, but life moves on and you just try your best every day. I’m trying every day.”

“Do you want to talk about it all? Could you tell me about him? If you want to. You don’t at all. You can just tell me to leave and I will totally understand.” Said Chris.

“No, I don’t mind. Caleb, my husband, he was my best friend. We met at work when we were both just a year out of college. We ended up in the same training class. I thought he was really cute, so I kept sitting at his table hoping he would notice me.” You said smiling at the memory. “But Caleb was so serious. I don’t think he even noticed me the first two days.” Chris chuckled.

“I remember he had a yellow highlighter and a stack of pens. He would practically write down word for word what the trainer said in his notebook and when we were on a break, he would highlight most of what was written. On the third day, I stood up, walked right up to him, tapped his shoulder and told him to come with me to get coffee. I didn’t ask, I told him.” Chuckling lightly, you looked up to see Chris have a warm smile on his face.

“What did he say?” Chris asked.

“He said OK, stood up, and followed me to the coffee machine. He asked for my number at the end of the day and we were inseparable going forward. He was the kind of guy who was meant to be a husband. He proposed after a year and we were married a year later. We bought a house right away where he made friends with all the guys in the neighborhood. He’d have them over for beers and football, and cookouts. He was the social one in our relationship. There was always an event he was dragging me too. Caleb really got me out of my bubble. And he was an awesome uncle to our niece Abby. She’s so spoiled and that’s mostly thanks to him. He was a really great guy.”

Chris had his hand on your knee and was rubbing it in a soothing way. “He sounds like he was a great man. Thanks for sharing that with me. But, honestly Y/N, I think you are so brave to be starting over in this crazy place. I consider you a friend and I want you to talk to me if you ever need to vent or cry or whatever. I’m here.”

You were touched. Here’s this man who you barely know and he was already becoming a great friend.

“Thanks, Chris. I really appreciate that.”

Chris left a little later and you dragged yourself back to bed. He sent you a goodnight text that night and a good morning text the next morning. That afternoon you sent him a text that you missed Dodger. Yeah, it had only been a day and a half, but you really wished you had a dog to cuddle with. Especially since you were stuck at home.

Chris: I see how it is. You only like me for my dog.

Y/N: Without Dodger, we wouldn’t have met. He brought us together.

Y/N: I’m just jealous you have an automatic cuddle buddy. Do you rent him out?

Chris: I’m pretty sure Dodger would rather be cuddling with you.

Your ankle was feeling better but you still stuck to staying in and using the crutches. You had showered that morning and actually put on real clothes. Well, a knee length flowy dress. You didn’t want to deal with pulling your ankle through pant legs if you could help it. You had just put in your favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail in the DVD player and sat on your couch. Yes, you still owned a DVD player. As the saying goes, if it isn’t broke…As Meg Ryan was getting charmed by Tom Hanks in her book store, you heard a knock on your door. You paused the movie, got up being sure to grab your crutches first and walked to the door. You heard a bark and a smile instantly hit your face. You opened the door to see Chris and Dodger standing there.

“Dodger! You’re here! Come here boy.” You placed one of the crutches against the wall and patted your thigh. Dodger walked up to you and licked your hand a few times before accepting you petting him.

“You know, I come all the way here.”

“Two miles.” You interrupted.

“I drive a full two miles and Dodger gets all the love. No, ‘Hi Chris! I can’t believe you are here!’ Where’s the warm welcome?”

“Hi Chris! I’m so glad you are here! Come here boy.” You said while patting your leg.

Chris let out a loud laugh. He closed your door and walked up to you. You gave him a one-armed hug.

“What are you watching?” He asked.

“Only my favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail. Want to watch?”

“Well, I did bring Dodger here for cuddles, I suppose we can watch while you two cuddle.”

You started on the couch, but frankly your couch wasn’t the largest for two adults with a dog who liked to spread out. You and Dodger moved to your bed while Chris stayed on the couch watching the movie.

“You know, you can still see the screen from the bed. You’re more than welcome to come lay with us and watch.” You were honestly offering in a friendly way. Dodger would be between you both and it was easier to chat when your next to a person and they aren’t having to turn their head to see you from the couch. Yep, a strictly friend like way.

Chris hesitated for a moment. Scratching the back of his head and looking back at you and Dodger. “Alright.” He said while getting up and walking toward your bed. You scooted over and pulled Dodger toward you making room for Chris. He plopped down on the bed and adjusted your pillows making himself comfortable. You both laid in silence watching the movie except for when Chris would let out loud chuckles and an abrupt “oh no” here and there.

When the movie was over, you shut off the TV with the remote and just talked. You talked about your families, vacations you took when growing up, your first cars, and pets. During a few minutes of comfortable silence, you had fallen asleep. Before you knew it, your cellphone alarm was going off indicating it was time to get ready for work. Opening your eyes, you almost tumbled out of bed. Dodger and Chris were asleep next to you. Had your life been a rom-com, his arm would have been thrown over your stomach and your legs would be tangled together. There most certainly wouldn’t have been a dog between you. You were never the snuggle in bed while you slept type anyway. Sure, a little cuddling before sleep was nice, but then you wanted your space. Hence why you had a queen-sized mattress just for you.

He really is beautiful. Why can’t I be that pretty while I sleep? I mean, I could take or leave the snores he’s putting out.

You got up as quietly as you could. Dodger’s head peaked up but then he laid it right back down. You grabbed your clothes for the day and went into the bathroom quietly closing the door. After showering, towel drying your hair and pinning it back, you got dressed. You decided to grab a muffin at the coffee shop rather than making breakfast here.

Sitting on the edge of the bed next to Chris, you gently stroked his arm. “Hey hun, I’m leaving for work.”

He slowly started to stir, blinking his eyes open and closed. He finally turned his head toward you and gave you an easy smile. “Good morning.” He said. The sleep still evident in his voice.

“I’m heading off to work.” He sat up and pulled his legs to the ground. “Take your time. Will you just turn the lock on the doorknob on your way out?”

“Of course.” He grabbed your hand. “Thanks for the fun night, sweetheart.” Your heart fluttered. You squeezed his hand and stood up letting go.

“I’ll talk to you later. Bye Dodger.” You said grabbing your bag, crutches, and headed out the door.

Chris texted you later that day just to say hi. Unfortunately, you were too busy to reply or even notice you had a text. Since you weren’t much help running around doing errands for Colleen or Victoria, you were on paper duty. Entering receipts, submitting invoices, making calls. A lot of these tasks were mostly spread out, but since you were out Friday and didn’t come in on Saturday, it was all getting done today. For once, you and Victoria were on the same schedule. She invited you out for drinks at a restaurant down the street from the office. You talked about the get together at Chris’ place and mentioned the possible date with his friend. She was excited for you and frankly you were too. You told her about Chris spending the night, quick to point out that it wasn’t planned and you both had just fallen asleep. “Y/N, wow. Is something happening there?”

“No, I don’t think so. I think he’s just being a good friend. We’re getting to know each other.” You shrugged your shoulders. You both ordered a couple of appetizers and ended up chatting for a while, not getting home until almost 9 PM. 

Reaching your staircase you were startled to see Chris sitting on the stairs with Dodger. “Chris? Did you end up staying all day?” You asked with a giggle.

“Hey Y/N.” Chris getting to his feet he stood out of your way.You started to climb the stairs. 

“Do you want to come up?” You asked glancing behind you as you started to reach the top.Chris was quick to follow. 

“You’re home late.” He said. Unlocking your door and setting your bag and crutches down before taking a seat on your couch. 

“Yeah, my boss and I, Victoria, went out for a couple of drinks. We don’t see much of each other, but since I am on office duty, we had time to catch up.” He nodded, taking a seat next to you. You started up Netflix and passed him the remote. “I picked last night, you pick tonight.”He grabbed the remote from you and started scanning. He decided on the second season of Stranger Things as he said he hadn’t watched the season yet. You were all caught up, but didn’t mind the re-watch. You both sat enjoying the show, chatting between episodes. Chris got up after three episodes to grab a couple of beers from your fridge. It was nice and you were enjoying whatever this friendship was becoming. Chris spent the night again, this time not by accident. It was late and you both decided it was for the best for him to just crash. The next few days were spent texting back and forth. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the attention.

Your ankle was mostly better by Friday and you had plans to meet Chris and Dodger at the park. You had gotten their first so you took a seat at one of the benches facing the fountain. Your phone started to ring with a number you hadn’t recognized. Not one to normally answer unknown numbers, since it was a local number you took a chance thinking it could be someone from work. “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N, it’s Erika’s friend, Tim. How are you?”

“Oh, hi, Tim.” You replied, not realizing Chris had walked up and was right beside you.

Chapter 5

@flamencodiva @the--blackdahlia @thefandomzoneisdangerous @symonlyjen5

[biles-bilinski-24]

Home (Part 4)

Pairing: Stiles x reader

Word Count: 4,181

Warnings: blood, bullet wounds, guns

Summary: A reunion turns into a night of hanging out together, but when hunters show up things get crazy.

Notes: I hope you like it!

“Charlie?” you whisper.

You start to walk toward the man, but your walk quickly turns into a run. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his chest. He hugs you tight, lifting you a few inches off the ground. When you look up at him, you realize that your cheeks are wet with tears. You smile bigger than you’ve ever smiled before, your heart filled with excitement. Scott slowly approaches the two of you, Stiles on his crutches behind Scott. 

“Charlie, what the hell are doing here?” you ask him.

“What do you mean? I’ve been looking for you!” he exclaims.

“Y/N?” Scott asks cautiously.

“Guys, come here. This is my big brother Charlie. Charlie, this is Scott and Stiles,” you say, gesturing between the boys.

“Brother?” Scott asks.

“You never told us you had a brother. What...what happened?” Stiles asks you. 

“I don’t know,” you say. “Charlie was off at college when it happened. I just thought that since my parents left, that meant Charlie was gone, too.”

“Wait, wait. I’ve finally found you, and I’m so incredibly happy, but can you please explain what’s going on?” Charlie asks.

“Okay, but not here. Somewhere private,” you decide.

“How about my house?” Scott suggests.

“Perfect. Charlie, you and Stiles can come with me. Scott’ll meet us there,” you say. 

Scott hops on his bike and starts off toward his house. You help Stiles into the passenger seat of your car as Charlie takes a seat in the back. 

“Seriously? This car is horrible. It’s practically falling apart,” Charlie says playfully.

“I’m a seventeen-year-old girl who goes to school, pays monthly rent for an apartment, and only has time to work one job. I hope you weren’t expecting a Maserati,” you reply. 

He laughs with you as you pull out of the parking lot and head for Scott’s house. 

When you get there, Stiles sits on the couch with you, and Scott and Charlie sit in chairs across the room.

“Okay, Charlie, tell me everything you know,” you say to your brother. 

“Well, like you said I was at college when whatever happened happened. I got an email from Mom and Dad. All it said was, We’re not associating with Y/N anymore. No calls, no texts, no emails, no nothing. Don’t contact her at all. If anyone asks about her, you pretend like she’s never existed. As you can expect, I was really confused. So I went back to our house, but when I got there, everything was gone. The house was empty, except for your room, which was pretty much the same except for some pictures were gone and your drawers were left open. I asked the neighbors where you all went but they didn’t know either. They told me how you just disappeared. That was only a few months before graduation. So, I finished college and started searching for you. I wanted to look for Mom and Dad but you were only twelve so I was more worried about you than them. I’ve been looking for you ever since. There were times when I doubted you were even still alive. I wanted to give up, but I knew that you needed me, so I kept looking,” Charlie explains.

“You’ve been looking for me for five years?” you ask, shocked.

“And now I can finally stop looking.”

“How did you know I was in Beacon Hills?”

“I didn’t. I’ve just been searching the whole state. I mean, you were twelve. You couldn’t have gotten that far.” 

You smile.

“Okay, I told my part of the story. Now it’s your turn,” Charlie says.

You look down at the floor, fiddling with your fingers. You try to come up with a lie that seems believable, but it’s not easy. You settle for one and start your fake explanation.

“I’m a criminal, Charlie. Or at least, I was. When Mom and Dad found out what I’d done, they shut me out. I guess that’s when they sent you the email,” you say, trying to show as little emotion as possible.

“Okay, just because you’ve been missing for five years, doesn’t mean I can’t tell when you’re lying. Tell me the truth, Y/N,” says Charlie.

Your pulse starts racing and your breathing becomes unsteady. You glance up at your brother before quickly looking back down at your dirty sneakers. Stiles takes one of your trembling hands in an attempt to steady it. 

“Y/N, look at me,” Stiles says. 

You look up at his soft honey-colored eyes and he sees for the first time how much pain this whole story really brings you. He sees fear, too, and he knows exactly why. 

“I don’t know what your parents were like, but I can tell your brother is nothing like them at all. He won’t leave you, and if he does, then screw him. You don’t need anyone else to make your life any worse.” His voice softens, “No matter what happens, I’ll be here, right next to you. I won’t let you get hurt again.”

“You’re my sister, I’d never leave you. Even if you told me you’re a...a werewolf or something,” Charlie says and you look at Stiles with uncertainty. 

“You can do this,” Stiles whispers. 

You take one last deep breath before launching into your story. “Well, it’s funny that you said werewolf because...um…” you trail off and look at Stiles who nods, telling you to go on. “Because I am a werewolf. But not like the werewolves in the movies, w-we don’t eat people. Actually, we protect people. Every werewolf belongs to a pack, except for omegas, who are pretty much just lone wolves. I’m a part of Scott’s pack,” you say, glancing at Scott. Scott and Stiles stare at you with looks of surprise on their faces as you continue, “We’re like the protectors of Beacon Hills. Most of the packs we’ve met are pretty chill, but there are also some that are, how should I put this, vicious. I had a pack before I joined Scott’s pack, but I’ll get to that in a minute. For a while, I was an omega, so I just laid low and hid my powers. I was an omega from the time Mom and Dad left until yesterday. 

“Now, I’ll start the real story. I was bitten while you were gone, and a few months after that my pack was killed by hunters. Yes, there are werewolf hunters. No, I didn’t get hurt, not physically, anyway. I ran back home, all covered in blood and tears, and there was no avoiding telling Mom and Dad what I’d become. The next day, I came home from school and the whole house was empty except for my room. Mom and Dad were gone. I took what I needed from my room and left that night. I got on a bus and I ended up at the edge of Beacon Hills. I walked a lot. I walked by these two playing lacrosse in the park. Stiles sucks, by the way.” Stiles pretends to be offended and you smile. “I ran into the sheriff, who is also Stiles’s dad. He took me into the sheriff’s station and tried to get information from me but I didn’t talk. He took me to an orphanage, where I stayed until right after sophomore year. 

“I didn’t really talk to anyone at school until yesterday. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true. I haven’t played soccer in years. I’m friends with these goofballs. I’m a photographer now. Well, sort of. I don’t really have a camera anymore, but I’m making it work. My life’s finally starting to get back on track.” 

You look at Charlie, who sits unmoving, his mouth hanging open. You suddenly have a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach. Stiles pulls you closer to himself, holding onto you tightly. Everyone watches Charlie who is still sitting in shock.

“Charlie?” you ask tentatively.

When he doesn’t answer, you look at Stiles. 

“I got you,” he whispers. 

Charlie’s mouth abruptly shuts and he looks around the room before returning his gaze to his sister. 

“Y/N, that’s…” he trails off and you feel tears sting your eyes as you prepare to watch the last bit of your family leave you. Your heart drops to your stomach as he picks up where he left off, “that’s awesome!” Charlie says with a huge smile. “Now I get to tell people my baby sister is a werewolf! How cool is that?” You sigh, relieved that your brother isn’t going to abandon you like your parents did. 

“Well, you can’t tell anyone that we’re werewolves, but sure,” Scott says.

Stiles looks down at his fingers intertwined with yours.

“Your hands stopped shaking,” he remarks.

“Yeah, I guess they did,” you say, looking up into his eyes. “Thank you,” you say to him.

“For what?” he asks.

“For everything,” you tell him. You watch as his eyes flicker down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You look down at the floor, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Stiles puts a finger under your chin and tilts your face up so he can see your eyes. 

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?” he asks. You feel yourself blush and hope he doesn’t notice. 

“Show me! Show me your powers!” Charlie says suddenly, jumping around giddily like a little kid. 

You and Stiles smile at him. You stand up, breaking away from Stiles’s hold, and shut your eyes, focusing on trying to shift. When they open again, their color has shifted from Y/E/C to a bright, glowing yellow. You eyebrows are more defined and you feel your canines sharpen. You open your mouth and let out a loud howl, instinctively shutting your eyes. When you look at your older brother, all you see on his face is pure joy. Not fear, or shame, or worry, just joy. You shift back and smile at him.

“I missed you so much Charlie,” you say, going to him and hugging him tightly again.

“I missed you too, sis,” he says. 

You feel his warm breath on your neck, which somehow comforts you.

“You wouldn’t, by any chance, have a girlfriend, would you Charlie?” you ask playfully as you pull away a bit and look up at him.

“You always did have the best sense of humor,” he says.

“Humor? I’m being serious,” you say, trying but failing to hold a straight face. The two of you laugh as you pull apart and look at the smiling boys in front of you. 

“So, what do you guys wanna do?” Charlie asks.

“Hmm, how about game night,” you suggest.

“I’m gonna destroy all of you,” Stiles says proudly.

“We’ll see about that,” you say, challenging Stiles.

“Hey, by the way, if you guys ever want some pointers on your lacrosse plays, I’m here,” Charlie says.

“Oh, yeah, Charlie’s amazing. He got a scholarship for lacrosse in college. They called him “The Cyclone” on his high school team because of the way he could plow right through people, and he didn’t even go to Beacon Hills High,” you tell them.

“Wait, wait. You’re kidding, right?” Stiles asks.

“No way! You’re Charlie James? Charlie “The Cyclone” James? Y/N, why didn’t you tell us your brother is a legend,” Scott exclaims.

“I just did.”

“Your family is crazy,” Stiles remarks.

“You’re telling me,” you say.

“Y/N’s pretty great, too. Actually, she’s pretty great at everything. She was the best girls goalie in Southern California,” Charlie says and you blush again.

“Okay, you really need to talk more,” Scott says as he pulls out the first game, Sorry.

You play three rounds of Sorry before Scott and Charlie give up.

“Guys, can we play something else now,” Scott complains.

“This isn’t a game anymore, this is war,” you say.

Scott and Charlie sigh and look at each other as you pull a card and move your last pawn into the home space, winning the game.

“Yes! I won! Take that, Stilinski!” you celebrate. Stiles scowls as you clean up the pieces and put them back in the box. 

“Why don’t we play a team game next. Y/N and Stiles can pick, I need to talk to Charlie really quick,” Scott says, guiding Charlie into the kitchen. 

“Okay, I don’t know if you can see it, but I can. Y/N and Stiles like each other. Stiles is happier now than he’s ever been since his mom died. I don’t know about Y/N, but I think being around Stiles is really good for her. It’s helping her come out of her shell and be herself again. I don’t think either of them is going to say anything to the other, so we need to kind of initiate it, if you know what I mean. I’m thinking you and I are on the same team so that they’ll have to be on the same team. Sound good?” Scott explains.

Charlie nods. “I don’t really know Stiles, but he seems like a good kid. He’s not gonna hurt her, is he? Because if he does I’ll-”

“No, he won’t hurt her. He knows what she’s been through, and, honestly, I think he understands better than anyone else what she’s been dealing with the past few years. I won’t let him hurt her, and if he does, I’ll give him the worst beating he’ll ever receive. Don’t worry, Charlie, she’ll be just fine,” Scott says. 

The two walk back into the living room to see that you and Stiles have set up Pictionary. 

“We decided on a game that I’m not very good at because that only seems fair after how well I did in Sorry,” you tell Scott and Charlie. 

“You can pick the teams,” says Stiles.

“Scott and I are gonna be on the same team. I don’t know if you remember, Y/N, but you and I have a bit of a rivalry in Pictionary,” Charlie tells you.

“I do, I do. But if I recall correctly, you can’t draw any better than I can, so I think we’re pretty evenly matched,” you smirk as your rest your arm on Stiles’s shoulder. 

“Okay, let’s get started then. Youngest goes first,” Charlie says.

“Ugh, why do you always have to do that,” you groan.

“Just following the rules, little sis. Keyword little,”  he says, smiling mischievously. 

You roll your eyes as you grab a card and walk over to the dry erase board. You look at Scott to flip the timer and you start drawing. This process is repeated many times, Stiles, Scott, and Charlie replacing you at the dry erase board. The four of you finish your games and sit in the living room, talking and laughing. The clock eventually ticks to eleven, and you yawn as you glance down at your phone. 

“Charlie, we should probably get going, it’s getting late,” you say. 

“Okay. Thanks, guys,” he says as the two of you head to the door. 

When you open it, you see three men standing in front of you wearing all black, each holding a gun. 

“Scott, I think you have some visitors,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. 

Charlie quickly steps in front of you and you peek around him to see what happens. Scott walks up to the door, but his pace slows when he sees who’s waiting for him.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Scott asks, readying himself to attack if needed.

Stiles hobbles up behind him and his eyes widen as he sees the threat. He looks at you with concern. You stand with your back to Charlie who’s guarding you against the men. Your hands are shaking again and you don’t even try to hold back your tears. They fall to the floor as you open your eyes again to see Stiles looking at you. You can tell he wants to go over to you and comfort you, but he can’t. There’s no way he can get to you without the men seeing. He watches you lose yourself as you listen to the conversation between Scott and the men. It’s happening, you think. It’s happening all over again. They’re gonna go through and kill the pack one by one. I’ll be alone again. I’ll have no one left.

The man in the middle answers, saying, “One of those questions we cannot answer, but we can tell you why we are here.” He pauses. “We’re here to kill you.” 

“I can negotiate. I’ll give you whatever you want, just leave us alone,” Scott says.

“We’re hunters. We want you dead,” the man replies harshly. 

You glance toward one of the windows on the side of the house. You see Derek run past it and you feel a faint glimmer of hope. 

“Fine, fine, but can you at least be decent and take this outside, I don’t want them watching,” Scott says. He turns to Stiles and sees the look in his eyes. He gives Stiles a look telling him not to move but Stiles ignores him. He drops his crutches and starts limping towards you.

“Stiles stop! Don’t-” you’re cut off by the sound of a bullet being fired and your eyes dart up to Scott and you’re confused when you see no sign of injury on him. You look back down at Stiles and your eyes widen in horror as you see dark red blood soak through Stiles’s shirt and drip down his arm. 

“Stiles!” you scream. You run to him only to be stopped by a pang in your thigh. You fall to the ground next to Stiles as Derek shows up behind the three men and knocks them out before they can even react. Charlie grabs you and Stiles and pulls you out of the doorway. 

“Scott, call the sheriff. I’ll help get them in the cars,” Derek says as he goes over to Stiles. 

Stiles doesn’t pay any attention to his injury, only to you. 

“Hey, stay with me, Y/N. You have to stay awake,” he says, grabbing hold of your hand. “Look at me. Look at me! You can’t give up, not this easily, okay?” he squeezes your hand as you fight to stay awake. Your eyelids feel as heavy as bricks. 

“We need to get you guys into your cars. Stiles, think you can walk?” Derek says.

“Not really, but I’ll try,” Stiles says and he forces himself up. 

Derek puts Stiles’s arm around his neck and drags him out to the jeep. Charlie picks you up and carries you out to your car. 

“Come on, you’re stronger than this. You’ve survived on your own for five years, you can take one bullet,” Charlie says as he lays you in the backseat and jumps into the driver’s seat. 

Derek does the same with Stiles and in no time both cars are speeding down the street with Scott not far behind on his dirtbike. Charlie frequently checks on you, making sure you stay awake. When you get to the hospital, the sheriff runs out into the parking lot to help Derek with Stiles. Scott and Charlie work together to carry you into the hospital. Your vision is fuzzy and you hear a faint ringing. You just barely make out what Stiles says as he’s laid on a gurney next to you, “I’ll be fine. Just-just don’t let her die. I’d never forgive myself.” You smile softly as you hear Mrs. McCall’s voice echoing in your ears. 

“Y/N, honey, you gotta stay awake, just a few minutes longer. You can do this, just keep your eyes open. Focus on my words, keep your eyes open…” she keeps talking but you don’t hear her as your eyes fall shut and you give in to the pain. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake up to bright lights and pristine white walls. You hear the beeping of machines and notice that you’re lying in a hospital bed. You look around until you see the boy with the honey colored eyes and you sigh with relief.

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” he says. 

“We do,” you agree.

“How’s your leg?” he asks and you suddenly remember what happened. 

You look down at your thigh for the first time and notice it covered by a bandage with a red spot in the middle. You feel an ache throughout your whole leg, but you play it off like it’s nothing.

“Not bad. How’s your arm?” you ask him.

“Pretty good. I’m not supposed to move it much,” he says.

“You really are a cripple now,” you say. 

“I guess I am,” he agrees.

“How long have you been here?” you ask.

“Me? Well, I was in my own room for a day, but then they said I was fine. I’ve been here ever since,” he explains.

“How long have I been here?” you ask apprehensively.

“Three days,” he tells you.

You look down at your hands as you remember something.

“Stiles,” you say and he looks at you questioningly, “it’s not your fault.”

His gaze lowers in shame as he registers what you’re talking about.

“It’s not. I know you think it is, but it’s not. None of this is your fault,” you tell him.

He looks up at you with sad eyes and all you want to do is hug him, hold him, lay your head on his chest and let him know how you feel about him. The only problem is up until recently, you didn’t feel any special way about him, but when you saw the blood dripping down his arm you realized how much he means to you. You realized that you love him.

“Stop that,” you say in a stern voice as he looks back down at the floor. You’ve never talked to him this way before. You sit up as he looks up at you.

“Stop...acting like you caused all these problems, like you’re the reason I’m hurt. I won’t let you put yourself down like that,” you say to him. Your chest heaves up and down with each breath you take and you grimace as you lay back down. 

“Are you okay?” he asks and you can hear the fear in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt that much,” you say.

“I’m gonna go get Scott and Charlie,” Stiles decides.

“No, Stiles. Just-” you try to stop him but he’s already out the door. 

Stiles comes back in a minute later with Charlie and Scott in tow. You try to mask your pain, but Charlie sees right through you.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m totally fine, Charlie. It’s not that bad,” you lie.

Scott walks over to you and takes your hand, taking your pain. 

“Oh my gosh, this is...ugh” he grunts with all the pain he’s taking in.

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt that much,” Stiles says.

You don’t say anything as you look down at your fingers fiddling with the blanket. 

“Why’d you lie?” Charlie asks.

“Because I didn’t want you to worry about me,” you say, “and I didn’t want you feeling guilty,” you look at Stiles. “Charlie, I know you wanna do everything you can to help me, but for right now can you just give me some space? I’m not mad, I just need to figure some things out. And you look horrible. Go back to my apartment and get some sleep, there’s a key on the key ring. The boys will call you if anything happens.”

“But-”

“Charlie, please,” you cut him off. He opens the door, and right before he walks out you say something.

 “I love you, Big Cyclone,” you call after him, using the nickname you gave him when you were little.

“I love you, too, Little Bear,” he says with one last look before shutting the door behind himself.

“You guys are so cute. Big Cyclone?” Scott says.

“What? I was six,” you defend yourself.

“No, I think it’s awesome. Wish I had a little sister,” Scott says. 

“Yeah, Little Bear. I may have to steal that one every once in a while,” Stiles remarks.

“No, no. That’s Charlie’s. You’ll have to come up with your own,” you say, smiling.

“Okay,” he pouts. 

The three of you sit silently, thinking. 

“Stiles, why were you out in the woods that night?” you ask out of nowhere.

“I went out there to think. It’s where I’ve always gone since I was little. I sit at the top of the hill and listen to the sounds of the woods. I think best at night,” he explains.

“What were you thinking about?” you ask.

“A lot of things,” he sighs. “School, graduating, you, college, where we’ll all be in a few years,” he says.

“Wait, back up. What’d you say before college?” you ask him.

“You,” he says, not meeting your eyes.

Tags: @screamxqueenx94

[fidgeteen]

I came to your blog for autism & ADHD stuff but then saw that you use a cane and was wondering what you think about people using a cane for relatively minor chronic pain? I have a chronic hip problem and have considered using a cane or crutches when the pain gets really bad but it’s normally pretty manageable and I kind of worry about taking resources away from people who need them more, you know?

Personally, I’m not offended by the question and want to start off by saying that canes can basically be considered an unlimited resource in the U.S. and other developed countries which makes your last point moot. Only thing I can think of is side effects of having a cane, like people abusing the system for financial/other gain or acting like they can suddenly speak for all disabled people as a unified entity.

First, I would make sure you’ve seen an orthopedist or maybe even go see a rehab med specialist if your issue has been diagnosed as chronic and you’re still having issues. And don’t be afraid to bring up a cane w a rehab specialist- I was scared I would be judged by the most recent one I saw but he actually told me he was so glad I was using it. And with the next point, make sure you get an updated PT prescription.

always be in PT!!! Physical therapy is the single most important thing anyone with a chronic musculoskeletal condition should be doing. If cost/insurance limits are an issue, you can space out your visits and do prescribed exercises at home. If for whatever reason you can’t get to see a PT, there are plenty of PT youtubers who demonstrate how to do exercises correctly and you can look up research articles on the most effective exercises for your condition. Believe me, PT sucks and I hate it, but it is so so so important.

Also, I wouldn’t consider your chronic pain “relatively minor” if you are unable to walk at times- that would probably be more accurately described as being intermittent or of fluctuating severity. There’s a difference between not letting your condition take over your life/personality and bending to appear more PC or not weak. It’s important to be honest about how your condition is affecting your life.

Lastly, I can’t make that decision for you! But I always like to say that my cane allows me to be active when I would otherwise be sitting at home, and it also improves my gait which reduces potential for pain later. I first started using a cane after I messed up my left SI/hip and using the cane allowed my hip to heal from the trap of recurring injury. I don’t use it every day and would recommend only using it when you do need it- a folding cane is good for this- but it has been a lifesaver for me.

I’m going to warn you abt crutches in that axillary (underarm) crutches can and do cause nerve damage under the arms when used long term or incorrectly which is also part of why I’d recommend starting with less support. Also make sure your cane or crutches are fit correctly, ideally by your PT.

With canes, if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. Wrist hurts? It’s bent too much and needs to be vertical as you walk. Shoulder hurts? It’s too short. I prefer two (ideal) or four point gait on canes/sticks/crutches to avoid messing up the other side.

The goal is always to not need it anymore- but if you’re not using it every day and it would improve your quality of life (ETHICALLY lol), I don’t see why not. Feel free to reach out if you want/need help learning to use it etc. btw- and I’m sorry this was so long haha.

[shardminds]

i’m watching the dust storm and drinking wine (liveblogging below the cut)

fuck colin with long hair and long beard haha nope 2 seconds in and i already had to pause. LOOK AT HIM! LOOK! 

i have no pics to offer but i love him? i love this colin. brennan? i can’t remember. he’s so cute. look at HIM! LOOK! look at him! HE’S SINGING AND IM GOING TO CRY

sorry but? who allowed him to be so talented? what? and look so good whilst also looking like he hasn’t had a shower in years?

SEVEN YEARS LATER? clean-shaven!!!!! hello!!!!! i have a lot of emotions. and colin is most of them. with a name like brennan, i half expected him to be irish. 

OH GOD SHE’S... oh brennan, oh honey. brennan is cute i’m sad i love him

i don’t know who nora is but i sense a lot of tension there– oh that’s why.

OH SHE’S THERE AND HE’S THERE AND!!!!! !!!! BRENNAN!!!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!  HIS CUTE FACE!!! i want to cry and i love him. TELL HIM YOU WERE ENGAGED, NORA! TELL HIM!

“i’ve seen your facebook!” “we’re not friends...” big mood

he’s so cute LOOK AT HIM. oh he’s going to miss his flight. i also want to do shots with colin, enchanted 3 baybeeeeeee!

nora... babe... why are you... not picking up on... any cues... 

“i didn’t breathe for a minute.” “I’m glad you didn’t die.” wow... same

oh he’s for real gonna miss his flight. damn. 

OH HE SAW A PICTURE OF HER FIANCE(ex fiance? david? idk?)

nora... you’re somethin... for sure... 

THEY KISSED YIKES. O DAMN. DAMN. 

ok sex in the bathroom stall is a great idea! HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA fuck i’ve seen gifs of this scene but aww actually it’s cute. 

ah her room is a mess because her fiance tore it up also brennan is cute and i’m overemotional. he’s also very drunk which i can relate to.

WHY ARE YOU SINGING. STOP I’M NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED. WHO ARE YOU. STOP IT.  he tucked her in and i’m weak.

AT WE SAW A GLIMPSE OF CHEST HAIR FOR A SECOND!!!!! suddenly i am alive.

when people say colin is benjamin button they really mean it like... damn he looks so young when he’s clean shaven... who are u. his face!!!!!! who!!!! thank u to mr and mrs o’donoghue for blessing us with this gift! 

this film makes me want to smoke 200 cigarettes and cry.

NORA STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTIONS

“do you want to... um... share some mozzarella sticks with me?” yes. 

LOOK AT HIS FACE! you can really see his cheek scar in this light.

He found a piano for her i love him HFeuhgufhiwefe i don’t know how to take the accent it isn’t great but it’s better than carrie pilby

ok so she’s playing the piano and that’s fine but brennan looks absolutely ENAMOURED. mate you’re getting in so deep there’s still just under an hour of this movie left and i’m EMOTIONAL at brennan’s face and how they cut to soft kisses yes thank you i love that for me i love this 

OK THEY’RE GONNA HAVE SEX ON THE PIANO FUCK ALRIGHT.

grammarly is going mad at me because i’m not capitalising anything or spelling anything right. 

OK THAT IS STRAIGHT UP PIANO SEX ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OK ALRIGHT OK OK ALRIGHT OK OK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OK NICE OK LOVE THAT OK I LOVE THAT FOR US OK NICE OK OK GREAT OK also he’s crying which is nice but also they’re straight up having sex on the piano and i love that for us nice thank you whoever wrote this for that kind of content 

ok but now nora seems not interested anymore and i’m sad because brennan is like heart eyes emoji why is she flirting with other people i mean– NO HE’S AT THE TABLE ON HIS OWN LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO CUTE NO BRENNAN I LOVE HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

“if we had a kid, what would we name it?” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

i’ve got to the point where i cannot fully comprehend this movie... nora, you are looking for outs mate... stop stringing our guy brennan along. also brennan mate stop trying to pour all your feelings into another person. life aint work that way.

damn... nora are you ok???? SHE WOULDN’T HOLD HIS HAND... NORA... U OK?????? ok but nora what u doing... are u ok sis? are you??? 

i don’t even have anything else to say other than brennan is hot and nora is flirting with other guys and eeeeeee yikes. 

did she... in the bathroom... with that other dude???? yikes. oh she denying it. 

“THAT I LOVE YOU” shit okay brennan okay calm down.

O WAIT HIS WHOLE SPEECH THERE WHAT THE FUCK... at this point i am convinced that these two are not really meant to be together... and that’s probably the whole point of the movie.

ok but... he went back tho... also, the cuddling is cute. i’m here for that. 

is he really gonna do that... okay brennan... ok. you do that. you make that choice. 

ok but nora you need to find yourself sweetheart and not in someone else, same goes for brennan. you don’t need anyone else to complete you.

OK SO Y’ALL BOTH GONNA ACT LIKE LAST NIGHT DIDN’T HAPPEN? SURE! THAT’S HEALTHY! 

“did you just ask me to move in?” “yeah” colin’s cute whistle thank you The Dust Storm film. AAAA LOOK AT HIM PRETENDING TO PLAY THE UKELELE FUCK BRENNAN IS CUTE!!!!! 

Brennan said ‘Emily’ and i’m dead. More Wine Please!

okay but does she have a drinking problem because at this point most of their whole thing seems to be based around drinking together.  i also need a wee but i cannot go because Brennan is here being cute and asleep. colin’s abundance of bodyhair is so sos os ossosososososososososooososo lovely thank you to whatever genetic disposition blessed him with the gene that made him super hairy and you can quote me on that

oh nora honey

also brennan looking real hot here, looking real nice. i zoned out of what he said because he’s so 100% beautiful.

his accent is... not great. but i still love him. 

“STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY, BRENNAN!” love that for me. love this. 

damn they really are both leaning on alcohol as a crutch to their relationship. can’t relate *sips wine*

ahh hhhhh hh he’s so CUTE AAAAaAAAAAA aAAAAAAAAA  filming them kiss hello thanks for that content i love that for me. 

do people really use their phone at the urinal???? is that like... a thing??????

“in your next life who you coming back as?” “your boyfriend” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa AAAAAAAAAAA ah 

ok i need to wee PAUSE! 

UNPAUSE!

brennan is cute aaaa the filmed footage from the phone is so cute aaaaaaa fuck i’m emotional OH SHIT HER EX IS HERE... and she’s making brennan leave... damn... ok. oh and there’s his colleague and the escort from earlier on... ok... damn. “i don’t think i’ll be doing that steve.” BRENNAN!!!!!!! OH NO.

i wanna cry because i know brennan is gonna get his heart broken over this yikes i’m so sorry. OH HE’S GETTING INTO A FIGHT! ok

the pool screaming scene is a direct rip of perfect blue but it’s ok bc i love that film too. colin’s chest is too good to not be on show for 90% of his roles i’m sorry i don’t make the rules. 

this whole kid talk i’m sad. i don’t even want kids but like... brennan would try his best to be a good dad and i know this. 

why she putting out cigarettes on herself... that’s not good. i’ve done that... it’s not nice. nora and brennan, we need to get you both into a good therapist and get you talking about your problems and addressing them and coming to terms with them. 

damn, brennan singing is great thank you for sharing this with the world. also nora is going to cry and me too bitch me too.

MORE WINE.

i don’t even know how this movie ends but i know that i’m already sad with the anticipation. OH LOOK AT HIM PLAYING SONGS I N PLAID AND A BEANIE! 

oh... oh s he left in the night... nora... nora why... ok yeah we saw this coming it’s ok brennan we can work through it we got this. also that song at the end thank you colin for singing thank you cheers thanks thanks a million.

ok so i finished it and... brennan deserved better. 

i’m sorry to anyone that actually read through this whole thing. thanks though!

we need to protect brennan at all costs. 

[randomlerson75]

Stuff people at my high school have said or done

• “I’ll just pretend I broke my ankle. I’ll limp a little”

• “You’re face doesn’t even have many bones”

• “Do you wipe your ass with your fingers”

• “I look cute though so I’m saving it”

• “They’re not dirty minded they just have a sexy brain”

• “This is not a good situation now. I’m not happy”

• *sleeping in class and randomly screams* “STOP!!!”

• “I’m coloring my weed symbol”

• “I stretch pretty violently I’m sorry”

• “I look like I’m more full of life than you”

•”I’m a good person” “haha ok”

• “I’m gonna round it to the nearest 11”

• “You don’t always have to swallow”

• “What a fucking time to be alive”

• “why are you harissing me”

• “That’s why you turn around and punch him in the face”. “I don’t have time”

• “You are the highest grade”

• “Does it taste normal”. “No it tastes good”

• “Why are we all up in this cold ass blueberry”

• “The sun can’t be that hot”

• “I could have overreached but that would make me stupid”

• “I’m all muscle bro, it’s tight on me”

• ”I’m a stripper that’s how I make my money”

• “You’re my mom” *talking to the teacher*

• “Are you high” “just get it off”

• *laughs normally* “you sound like a pedophile”

• “Pinkie ring until I roll”

• *about to jump off a cliff in a video for free diving* “push her”

• “Capitalism is ok”

• “It’s so funny how you can be alive one second and dead the next”

• “Change the m in marijuana to a j. Jarijuana”

• *teacher puts desk in the hallway*

• “He smoked water”

• “You can’t speak Latin” “Can you?”

• “May I acquire a pencil” “yes you may” “have a blessed day”

• “I’m going to write a book about how depressed I am”

• “God has forsaken me”

• *girls trying to stab each other with scissors*

• “I got a pretty long weenus. It looks like a penis”

• “My skeleton is twerking”

• *draws a skeleton twerking* “this is why it’s fun to learn art”

• “Why does he have eye holes?” “He’s a skeleton”

• “Don’t get my businesses ”

• “YOU ARE A WHORE”

• “love is so good”

• “Happy 17th day of birth”

• “You know it’s cold when you walk outside and it’s cold

• “why are you smiling like a creep Jess?” “That’s my normal face”

• “I’m living my best life, right here right now”

• *About thirty kids doing nothing but snapping*

• “Yes, I am very racist about smart boards”

• “I used to be like ;) but now I’m like :|”

• “Physically I’m here but mentally I’m still at home”

• “Emotions are like hurricanes. They never go where they are suppose too”

• “it took me a whole 27 minutes”

• “I would pay for the fire alarm to go off again”

• “Why did we get such a gay name like Florence”

• “this is my dad” *points to Albert Einstein

• *A REAL debate on wether to rip the clippy part off of mechanical pencils*

• “Not gonna lie. I grinded a friends marathon this weekend”

• “FINISH THE TEA”

• “You should know to never mess with another persons tech deck”

• “She has a thing against white people even though she’s white”

• “Speak of the devil. All white, what a fright”

• “You are a children”

• “You think a bull in a china shop? How about a bomb in a restaurant”

• “Me do”

• “I cheesed myself”

• “I never said I was going to jump you at Bojangles”

• “Knitting is VERY fun”

• “I’m not good enough, I’m great enough”

• “North Korea, South Korea, Same thing”

• *drops pencil* “NOOOOOOOOO”

• *light flickers* “excuse you”

• “You can make Australia bigger?”

• “Why don’t we burn people at the stake anymore for doing crimes. It was proven very effective”

• “It’s like I went into the pits of hell”

• “Can I borrow her crutches” “She has a lot”

• “You have arms?”

• “I was born thick”

• “I wasn’t sick I was drunk”

• “be a good person. Go go go”

• “Lotion and ravioli”

• “It smells like weed in here”

• “F*ck oxygen”

• “bring it back tomorrow or you die”

• “Tables are for glasses, not asses”

• “Stick it in between her boobs”

• “A lot of religions end in ism” “Christianiaism”

• “I just want someone to snort my ashes. That would be cool. Mix it with a little cocaine”

• “The United States of Australia”

• “Clark Kent who. I’m kidding, that’s not even Spider-Man”

• “Mental cheese”

• “Your blood is not supposed to make whistling noises”

• “Who sleeps on a Friday night”

• “A whole ass race”

• “that’s a sexy button” “I know right”

• *Screams* “and....”

• “Judaism is neither a religion or race”

• “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘wow. I would feel no remorse killing you’”

•“I hate this school with a burning passion”

•“Beep beep in your seats”

•“What is wrong with the world? The simulation is breaking”

•“What if we’re each other’s dad”

•“You use mental gymnastics to get around your head and get what you want”

•”You can’t just roll up to North Korea. You have to beat me in bingo”

•*teachers wear a dress and played despacito on the trumpet*

• “He’s a stingy boi”

• “A for anarchy? Dude i wish”

• “shut up I’m choking”

• “The snack the smiles back” “GOLDFISH!!!”

• “Where’s the pointy boi?” “I don’t know. I have the thick boi”

• “Dude. Fish can’t talk”

• “Stop taking my eraser” “it’s a ruler” “it can be whatever it wants to be”

• “A female vacuum is attractive”

• “I can love you but not like you”

• “I am mother gothel mentally, physically and spiritually

• “Mother gothel is my religion”

• “IM GETTING A COW!!!!”

• “It’s like Leonardo Da’Vinchi but instead it’s Leonardo Decaprio”

• “I wish I had some crippling disease. Schizophrenia would be nice”

• “I’m gonna kill someone for the rush of adrenaline I’ll get. I’ll get pumped, then I’ll work out”

• “Should I become an important political figure”

• “My cats might have eaten him”

• “Who else is trying to overthrow the government”

• “Where’s our kid?” “He looked at me funny and I had to teach him a lesson. I flushed him down the toilet”

• “I text Jesus all the time”

• “You are a saucy boi”

• “Your neck is really soft. Do you know that?”

• “Um. No professor. I don’t give a fuck”

• “Bro I look like a whole ass beetle”

• “You know? I’m definitely going to hell. But I’ve accepted that”

• “We need to go to the woods and have a collective cry”

• “Moths = whore”

• “Can we watch more food videos”

• “Just outlive the old people and health care prices can go back to normal”

• “Let’s just start the gladiator games again to handle population”

• “I’ll be Michael Phelps”

• “Don’t you just hate it when Nolan steps on your 69 Barbie head”

• “He’s so 20”

• “LITTLE BOY! WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES”

• “You guys disgust me”

• “I thought I had a good nights sleep but then I stood up and was like ‘oh no’”

• “you look better as an apple”

• “Why the fuck does it smell like weed in here. Mrs. Burch be blazing it up”

• “What is the coast of South Carolina growing” “Fish”

• “Why are we here on Halloween but not on Thanksgiving”

• “Even though I’m 18 I still might go trick or treating”

• “All minors should be allowed to trick or treat”

• “Tomorrow is not today, is it?”

• “ah yes, the glorious uno and dos”

• “I think Kanye is a crackhead”

• “Like. She’s not hideous”

• “Casserole and Gatorade?”

• “That’s what Google’s for girly”

• “this class has corrupted me”

• “You stepped on my fat”

• “What would Jesus do?”

• *Squeaks kazoo in anguish*

• “We’re going to watch a video about the depression” “weird, nobody has been following me around with cameras”

• “Approximately 50 minutes till ice cream”

• “Did you know heroin is not good for you?”

• “I have the constant need to fight myself and my demons”

• “what the hell?” “I know”

• “you are crack-a-lakin me up”

• “I have no muscles so what’s the point”

• “Flex on the legless”

• “didn’t that movie come out in November? Fifty shades of green?”

• *County music blares from another class down the hall*

• “I got a twin brother” “What’s his name” “Pj”

• “Keep the iPhone in your ear”

• “Super white red lipstick”

• “They just need a lot more dollars”

• “Don’t be like Anthony” “Isn’t he your son”

• “There’s a lot that needs to happen in the next.... today”

• *Plays bagpipe music walking down the hallway*

• “Say sorry to Billie Eilish”

• “We should make army merch”

• “Some of us have bitch lips”

• “Time is moco loco”

• “Alfred Adler sounds like Adolf Hitler”

• “Albert Einstein is my favorite president” “YES”

• “It’s winter berries”

• “She just unfollowed your ass”

• “Do you ever get so mad you’re like rrrrr”

• “Bear Grills filtered that shit”

• “The US army is trying to recruit us with socks and bandannas”

• “This dude tastes bad”

• “I’m a sophisticated retard”

• “It’ll get your heart rate up” “I think asthma will make my heart rate go down”

• “She was like egh and the he was like EGH”

• *Door won’t open* “DISRESPECTFUL”

• “if she wasn’t my sister she would be my baby”

• “Will you let me make love to an Oreo”

• “Directions turn me on”

• “I’ll eat you” “Dude that’s gay”

• “you’ve been had a 69 in here”

• “I’m gonna be real with you. Hayden is a whole ass lesbian”

• “I’m sorry that picture is ugly. Sorry sis”

• “A whole jump suit with pikachu on it”

• “He’s been birthed”

• “Ru Paul’s drag race has been dragged”

• “Imma sip some chlorine”

• “why do you gotta throw up”

• “suicidal dog collar”

• “I’m pulling out Murphy’s head ass”

• “you’re gonna be single forever”

• “Do you trust me?” “No” “why” “you know why” “I told the truth after”

• “I didn’t mean to make her suicidal”

• “I did it in the most respectful way I possible could” “oh Jesus”

• “it’s not my fault she had that much of a connection”

• “she’s a sly bitch”

• *dresses in a Thomas the train hat and plays Thomas the train theme song on a piano*

• “I’m getting better at this” “what” “this”

• “It’s just my master plan to manipulate people’s emotions and have many successes in my future”

• “How do you do that” “I just empty my eyes”

• “You know what. Give me my birthday back”

• “Bitch bye. Not even cousins”

• “they go away. They don’t putt putt”

• “why” “so you don’t die in a police chase”

• “are you a virgin” “yes” *throws paper* “there’s my virginity for you”

• “I’m not stupid. I’m just not smart”

• *tries to hit someone with a decapitated mannequin head that has swim goggles on and fake blood coming out of its eyes*

• “you ignant”

• “I hope she chokes”

• “I had to sit at the edge of my chair, feet flat on the floor and hold my horn”

• “I don’t want to get my freaking hair done”

• “he hates my moms guts” “yeah no shit”

• “ok. Can you go cry over there”

• “Fuckin Jurassic world”

• “will you please beat up my mom”

• *drops phone purposefully* *immediately gets scared*

• “I want a new mom” “then break her”

• “did you just say what’s frog juice”

• *freshman walk by* “oh shit there’s a parade of them”

• “that five year old king is a queen”

• “Join the ranks”

• “Garrett’s carressing the computer” “cool”

• “You’re going into my dragons mouth”

• “Don’t snap my crab”

• “Crab breaking black belt”

• “are you milking the crab”

• “Cameron buttered my lemons”

• “Mixed with god”

• “What’s the juice”

• “I’m your bestie and you won’t even tell me the juice”

• “Let’s amazon.com this”

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Fathers and Well-Wishers

{Semi-Direct Sequel to This}

There are moments that the words don’t reach. There’s a grace too powerful to name.

“I’m DONE TODAY.”

Whirl sighed, disappointed, as Mimi gathered her crutches with grinding teeth and situated them under her arms. The heavy sounds of unsteady and new steps was loud in his ears as she passed through the back door into the house.

He shook his head.

It was more of the same through the day.

It was Perceptor and Mimi reduced to a screaming match because “You need to be ACTIVE Froggy- sedentary activities could have disastrous side-effects and I don’t want you suffering anymore than you have!”

It was Drift and Mimi snarling at each other when he told her to listen to her father because “He has your best interests in mind, and you need SOMEONE to look after you!”

It was Brainstorm trying his best to be gentle, and ending up being heavyhanded enough for Mimi to shakily get up on new prosthetics and limp away from him with a stormcloud expression.

It was Ratchet knocking on her shut bedroom door, and getting no answer but the sound of a dresser being shoved in front of it.

It was Whirl, after Mimi had stalked in and set off the house, shaking his head and rubbing his temple from the headache that had formed. Ratchet sat in his usual armchair, Perceptor perched on his thigh while Drift lounged on the floor in his feline way.

Brainstorm paced angrily, wracking his brain for a solution to a problem that was still clouded in his vision when Cyclonus returned along the sound of rampaging feet. The gathered adults looked up at the kids who ran in, only to tip toe down the hall and listen at the door for a moment.

They watched, and Quickdraw knocked softly.

“Hey Mimi? You okay in there?”

“I’m fine.”, was the sighed answer, “Just... having a day, okay?”

��‘S all good, sis. We’ll be playing a couple rounds on the tv in my room, if you wanna join later. You want first shower tonight?”

“I’m fine, QD.”

“Okay.”

Ratchet raised an eyebrow as Quickdraw shepherded his siblings away from Mimi’s bedroom door with hushed tones.

Cyclonus looked over the silent living-room gathering, and frowned deeper as his gaze froze over at the visible stress on each face. Perceptor breathed a sigh of relief when Cyclonus’s back went ramrod straight, and he stepped silently to Mimi’s door.

Tap, tap, tap. Overlong nails, perfectly kept, rapped on Mimi’s door.

“I am coming in, little one.”

He pushed against the door, and frowned at the weight for a moment until the sound of furniture sliding on the floor was suddenly loud in the air. The door opened to show a glimpse of Mimi pulling herself back onto her bed, prosthetics left beside it, and then Cyclonus closed the door behind him.

“He’ll talk some sense into her.”, said Perceptor matter-of-factly, “It’s a specialty of his with the kids.”

“Not sure about that, Perce.”, said Brainstorm, “His expression didn’t exactly say Not In My House.”

“Then what do you think he’s going to do?”, snorted Whirl as Ratchet chuckled.

Brainstorm glanced back at the door, “The look on his face was like an angry hen discovering their brood’s been messed with.”

Cyclonus was in Mimi’s room until night fell. The moon had begun to rise, the other children tapping on Mimi’s door and softly calling their “G’night!” even though there was no answer.

Once again, worried parents gathered in the living room, television playing but the volume too low to bother noticing. Ratchet’s foot tapped a rapid two-time tempo out on the carpet as the door finally opened, and Mimi stood with Cyclonus’s arm around her shoulders.

His face looked like thunder and lightning; like hurricanes and hellstorms as the crags and sharp cliff-edges of a long life stood in stark relief.

He led her out; gentle in his touches but still shaking with anger.

He sent a look from parent to parent, before he growled his words like a dragon breathing fire.

“I have never seen so stupid and insensitive a group in my long life.”

Stunned silence. Cyclonus held Mimi closer, letting her arms go around his waist and her face bury itself against his side as she murmured, “Don’t be upset, Papa-Cy-”

“Your eldest has lost her LEGS. She has lost her sense of SAFETY she has sacrificed the only DUTY that MATTERED to her... And the lot of you do nothing but poke and prod and pinch at her. She has been home from surgery for LESS THAN A MONTH.”

The sea of shocked and paling faces simply ramped Cyclonus’s anger higher.

“YOU ARE ALL AN EMBARRASSMENT.”

He looked to Brainstorm, “When you were tearing your hair out over that Quark fellow- what did the ones around you do?!”

“N-Nothing, really they-”

“They let you be, they let you realign, did they NOT?”

Brainstorm squeaked softly at the sharp uptick in Cyclonus’s barked words but nodded.

Cyclonus looked to Ratchet, “And you, old medic- when your hands were damaged, when you were lamenting your loss of importance- were crewmates hassling you to work more, work harder after experiencing pain?!”

Ratchet said nothing, but gave a short shake of his head.

Cyclonus looked to Drift, and narrowed his eyes, “I will not mention the coddling you received from Rodimus- I still find it distasteful; if, in the end, necessary. And yet you did not afford your CHILD the same respect. Pathetic.”

And then to Whirl, “You, who knew firsthand how being disregarded felt; how could you, Whirl. How could you simply ignore what she was working through in order to sate your desire for The Way Things Were.”

Perceptor opened his mouth to speak- a terrible decision as it were. Cyclonus rounded on him, in highest of tempers and coldest of rage.

“I didn’t need so much time after I lost-”

“You refused to ACCEPT such time, Perceptor; and we all know how that colored your treatment of Mimosa for HOW LONG exactly?”

A killing blow, as the color drained from Perceptor’s face rapidly and all who gathered looked to the shivering young woman clinging to Cyclonus’s side.

He spoke again, “This is not wartime. This is peace, after a fashion. This is new- and so is she. You have all blinded yourself with your dependency on her active showing of love. Blinded yourselves to the point where you forgot one simple thing.”

He looked at them all, disgust and some kind of disappointment on his face.

“She is a child, compared to us. She may be the eldest of the younglings but for Primus’s sake she is a CHILD. She is far younger than any of us were when we experienced this kind of LOSS.”

“She is no wide-known scientist. She is no premier CMO. She is not a star Aerial Corps member turned Clockmaker,  no artisan defiled in his decline.”

He rubbed Mimi’s arm, gently murmuring comfort to her a moment before continuing, “She is no deahtbringer wounded in battle. She is no nightmare turned hero. She is our Mimi, and she has not yet graduated school- She is our eldest daughter, and she has experienced a sudden and painful loss.”

His eyebrows tilted down.

“How dare all of you deny her the chance to MOURN.”

Whirl stared at his metallic hands; oddly fingered and scuffed and remembered how long it took him to accept them as part of himself. He winced, remembering as he berated Mimi to simply “Get with the program, Froggy- they’re your legs now, no going back!”

Brainstorm covered his trembling mouth as he looked back on his “well-meaning” prodding, seeing it a new and nagging light and turning his back on Cyclonus.

Ratchet let his exaustion and worry show, trying to say his apologies for looking away from behaviors he had known shouldn’t happen, shouldn’t be promoted- and yet were allowed under his watch.

Drift gnawed his lip and hung his head, hugging his knees for a moment before he remembers seeing Mimi trying to do the same in the hospital while he sat by her bed- remembering hearing her fidget and begin to sob and realizing what she had tried to do, what she had realized had been taken, “...You tried to... You cry when you hold your....”

Perceptor was stunned, silent; Mimi looked at him, and looked away. All this time he had thought he had been comforting her, consoling her, when- He simply had assumed it was his place to...

“Thankfully, our other children respect such things. And act accordingly. I am glad to know our eldest raised them right.”

The room was heavy and silent; pained and regretful. Cyclonus nudged Mimi to give him room to move, and took her face in his rough hands before kissing her forehead.

“I am sorry, for what has happened. Take the time you need, youngling- I will be here when you are ready. Now... Go wash up, tomorrow is yet another day. If you would like; you may come with me to the Primal Temple, and see the gardens, or pray if you like to.”

She nodded, “...Yeah, yeah I think I’d like to do that, Papa Cy.”

“Very well. Get ready for bed, little one. It’s late.”

No eyes followed her as she limped; as her slow steps took her away- unsteady as a fledgling and measured as a mourning widow.

When the bathroom door closed, Quickdraw stepped out and shot a glance at his fathers, and he shook his head; tapping at the bathroom door and murmuring loud enough for Mimi to hear that if she needed help, to call for him.

Cyclonus nodded his approval, turning once more to the silently gathered.

“She is proud, and strong, and resilient. But she is not untouchable. She has experienced a new kind of pain- a pain we all may be familiar with, but a pain we were given time to deal with.”, he said, low and level and calm, “I am ashamed of you all right now, that you would act this way. I expect every last one of you to apologize to her; it is the least you could do.”

And with that, he walked away. A pause by the bathroom, listening to be sure Mimi was not having difficulties, and then he continued- safe in the knowledge that the second she was in trouble, Quickdraw, at least, would answer her call.

And for the night, the house was quiet.

When Mimi awoke the next morning- it was not to her normal blaring alarm clock; the sun was long up, the house quiet, and Cyclonus gently shook her shoulder with a tiny smile.

“Come, the gardens await you- and, perhaps, peace on some level.”

Mimi paused, listening for the usual calls of her name and giggles of her siblings and heard nothing. She blinked, and laughed weakly.

“...Papa Cy?”

“Yes?”

“....Can you... Can you help me grab some clothes? I still haven’t rearranged things to make them... easier to get.”

“Of course, little one. When we arrive home, perhaps that will be something that can be taken care of- if and only if you feel up to it. Otherwise, I would happy to start on it for you.”

“That... That would be really helpful, actually.”

She dressed in immodest silence, leaning on Cyclonus when she needed to and teaching him the way she adjusted the straps on her new legs. The door creaked, and she looked up.

Brainstorm waved slightly, his smile tight and his eyes averted.

“Hey kiddo- I... I brought some things, to help with the pressure of the, uhm. Legs. I know Whirl mentioned they can rub pretty bad.”

“...Thanks Bee.”

“Of course. You two have a good day, okay? And... And I’m sorry. For not understanding.”

Mimi looked down, holding padding and covers for the ends of her thighs, and nodded, “...It’s okay.”

“It’s... It’s really not.”

Brainstorm stepped closer, kneeling down and putting his hands over hers as she set aside what he brought, “I always brag about how smart I am, and here I am making some really stupid decisions for my own dumb reasons. It’s okay to be hurting- it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay for all those things to be confusing and hard to deal with. I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to do just that. I’m sorry for trying to make everything be what it used to be. It’s okay for things to change- it’s not your fault; but some of this stuff? The blame falls right on me- on all of us.”

“Bee, it’s okay, really, you and all the dads are only human-”

“You’re human too.”

Mimi jolted, looking to meet Brainstorm’s gaze before blinking away the dampness in her eyes, “... Thank you.”

“You go see those gardens, okay? You and Cy make a day of it. We’ll hold down the fort here.”

He kissed her cheek, making a grand and goofy display until she cackled and whined “Beeeeeee!” before he ruffled her hair.

With a nod to Cyclonus, he got to his feet, smoothed out his rumpled shirt, and took his leave. 

Mimi sat for a moment before trying to push herself to her feet and huffing when it was hard to get it just right- And two iron hands came into her vision. Cyclonus raised his eyebrows, his smile widening slight as Whirl stood in his just-awake glory. Mimi looked up to him. 

He smiled weakly, tired, apologetically.

“C’mon, I’ll anchor ya, ‘kay?”, he rumbled, “It’s tricky, gettin’ used to new balance.”

“So you’ve said.”, she mumbled, almost bitter but mostly tired.

A wince, and a sigh, “...Yeah. It... It takes a while to get used to but- if you decide you want me to, I’ll help ya figure things out. When you’re ready.”

She got up slow, Cyclonus following, and stumbled onto her still-new feet and landing against Whirl’s chest. His arms went around her and he kissed the top of her wavy mop of hair as he hugged her tight. She was still for a moment, then returned the embrace.

The moment passed, and then Whirl released her and stepped back- his hands cold but gentle on her shoulders, “You have a good day with Cy, m’kay? The kids are already off to school- Perce and Ratch’ll get ‘em in a few minutes. They’re on half days for a bit longer. Drift is on dinner duty, and Brainstorm’s got dibs on homework hour.”

Mimi nodded.

A careful squeeze of her shoulders, and he was gone. Cyclonus offered his arm to steady her, and they walked through the quiet house and out the front door.

Mimi’s alarm clock sat silent- the digital face dark. The cord hung limp, unplugged from the wall.

Later, it would be replaced by a small envelope. Marked with shakily written glyphs for Dri, filled with words he had never been good at saying.

She liked the Primal Temple’s gardens.

They were quiet, they were calm. They were walled and lonely in all the right ways....

They were safe, to someone who’s dreams felt the exact opposite.

[vvigilantes]

This Town is Full of Monsters ch. 2

Chapter 1

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless x Reader Words: 3,106 Summary: Nothing is as it seems anymore. Modern supernatural AU. Warnings: Mentions of a murder scene/victim but nothing too graphic.

Tagging @tiyetiye @ceridwenofwales @lordavanti @dani-si @brightlycoloredteacups @peachykenn @sweetvengeancee @ivarinleatherpants @mcuimxgine @rachiieee @sparklemichele @bloodyivar @weareabunchofheathens + if I’m missing any of you, please let me know! Also let me know if you wish to be tagged in future chapters.

A/N: IT’S FINALLY FUCKING HERE!

It doesn’t take long for the police to swarm campus, a plague of crisp-shirted locusts. The forest is cordoned off and the head of the university’s announcement is still ringing in your ears. His voice had been stiff and hollow, just as disbelieving as the students listening. Students, I regret to inform you…

They clump together in packs; the concept of safety in numbers driving even the lone wolves of the campus to stick together. If not for safety then for a distraction; you do not need to run faster than whatever is after you, only who is running with you.

They said it was probably an animal attack, that the police investigation is just a formality to confirm what they already knew, but it’s enough to shake up most of the student population anyways.

You and Paulina haven’t left each other’s side since it started and were now camped out in the common room of your dormitory, both of you too jumpy to want to be alone in your room. It seems everyone else who lives there had the same idea and you’ve never seen the modestly sized area so full.

People are throwing their two cents in left and right, each new rumor more elaborate and gruesome than the last. You hope desperately that it’s only a random animal attack; but maybe it’s the horror movies you find yourself watching or those true crime books that seem to find their way into your hands, but something’s lingering on the edges of your mind that tells you that you should be afraid.

“Here,” Hvitserk’s voice startles you, making you jump against your roommate -you were practically attached at the hip- before you remember that he had gone off in search of something to drink for you all. The two of you smile and gratefully take the drinks, murmuring your thanks and ignoring Ivar’s scoff to your left.

Hvitserk had called his brother right after he hung up with Bjorn while doubling back and catching you before you were about to enter your dorm. Since then he has circled you protectively; his way of coping with the sudden news seeming to be making sure that his friends were okay and you aren’t going to complain.

Ivar had found you all shortly after the call, spending the journey from one dormitory to the next cursing the entire situation. He hasn’t offered to get you anything like Hvitserk has or let you hug him for reassurance; instead he stands off to the side, glowering and making snarky comments when he overhears a theory he thinks is particularly stupid.

He hasn’t gone more than five feet from you though and you feel his eyes on you more often than you don’t.

A girl that lives on the same floor as you suddenly speaks up, feeling like she’s in a horror movie she didn’t audition for. “Hilde Morssun said she saw wolf tracks last week,”

“They could’ve been from a big dog and you know it.” A boy you’ve never seen in this dorm bites back and the girl rolls her eyes. He has a point though; people like to take their dogs when they camp or hike the forest and dog tracks aren’t a rare sight, but she trusts Hilde.

“She’s a wildlife biology major, I think she’d know wolf tracks when she sees them.” And all of a sudden several debates are launched at once; Hilde Morssun’s credibility, if there are even still wolves in the forest after the culling local hunters did years ago when one took a little girl who wandered too far from her campsite. And if there are wolves, would they risk coming so close to so many drunk college students armed with a bonfire and bad decisions?

                                                                            ✥ ✥ ✥

Bjorn feels ill. He has seen gruesome crime scenes before, has seen victims of animal attacks before, but he has never seen a body so clearly eaten. He regrets having breakfast and has to walk away from the body like so many other officers have had to do since they arrived, his stomach not nearly living up to his name. Not for the first time he pities the coroners.

“We need to start questioning the students,” The lieutenant is standing a good ten feet from the body with his back to it; he has seen it once, he does not need to see it again. “Find everyone who was at the party last night and ask them if they saw or heard anything strange or out of the ordinary. Ask them if they’ve seen any predators in the area recently.” The bonfire is the worst kept secret in the city. It’s seen as just another wild college party and everyone and their mother ignores the cringe that bubbles up when they speak about it.

The officers surrounding the older man nod and start for the campus, grateful to get away from the scene. Bjorn goes with them and they already know he will be the one to question his brothers. They do not ask if his father knows about the body or even cares that was found so close to the university that has and is housing so many of his sons. They already know the answer to that, too. The only answer they do not know for sure is how he stays chief of police.

Three classrooms being taken over and turned into interrogation rooms are the first thing that happens. The police want statements, and they know it’s easier to get scared teenagers and early-twenty-somethings to talk by themselves than when they're surrounded by their friends.

Sigurd is the first brother Bjorn calls into his room, and unlike the others he is not joined by another officer, at least not for now. They have always been careful around their chief’s sons, and they don’t want to step on toes by insisting the eldest follow protocol to ensure he doesn’t coerce answers out of his own brothers.

The younger blonde is shaken up, on edge. He has charcoal smudges on his hands and in his hair from running his fingers through it too many times to count since the news broke. He was at the party last night like most everyone, but he can’t remember anything aside from the taste of alcohol on his tongue and music in his ears. Waking up in a room that wasn’t his own with his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and a headache pounding in his temples.

“Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?” Bjorn asks the question a second time just to be sure, but he knows Sigurd. He’s the softest out of all of them and out of all of them he will probably have the most trouble sleeping tonight.

Sigurd shakes his head, guilt making his eyes go glassy. The body had been found less than one hundred feet from the bonfire itself, someone should have heard something. If he hadn’t gotten so drunk last night, maybe that someone would have been him and he could’ve gotten them help.

Bjorn nods slowly, jotting down notes for the sake of it in a small notebook. “Tell Hvitserk it’s his turn.”

Sigurd murmurs something that sounds like a yes and stands, feeling jumpier than before when the chair legs squeak against the floor. Before he could pretend it was all some kind of bad hangover dream, but the glare from the fluorescent lights bouncing off Bjorn’s badge made everything click horribly into place.

His fingers shake as he pulls out his phone and hits the right buttons, not being able to deny that he’s walking faster than usual back to his dorm. Hvitserk picks up on the first ring and isn’t given a chance to speak before Sigurd is, his voice thin and fluttery. “Bjorn says you’re next,”

“Right, thanks.” Hvitserk says, his own voice stilted. He slides his phone back into his pocket and takes a deep breath, looking from his brother to you and then finally to Paulina and back again.

“I guess I’m up next,” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes but at least he’s trying. You and Paulina don’t have such death grips on your drinks anymore and have drifted inches apart, so he takes that to mean you both are starting to calm down a little and it makes him glad.

He nods, moreso to himself than to any of you, before raising his eyebrows at Ivar in a way that makes the younger roll his eyes. After that he walks away to be interrogated his oldest brother.

Ivar shifts on his crutches, watching you watch his brother out of the corner of his eye. He’s been in a bad mood since he woke up and it’s only getting worse. You being so upset about the whole thing isn’t helping, but at least the nervous energy has started to seep out of you. It’s been putting him on edge since he got here.

He’s convinced that all this is is some sort of animal attack. Someone wandered too far in the wrong direction, maybe passed out in the wrong place. He thinks so many police for this is a waste and that it’s only scaring the other students; which is annoying him and he’ll tell that much to Bjorn when it’s his turn.

For now he stays where he is, if for nothing else than to save himself from Hvitserk giving him grief about leaving you.

                                                                            ✥ ✥ ✥

Hvitserk has not seen his brother in nearly a month but he knows that the lines in his face and the set of his mouth is a new occurrence. He’s serious at the best of times, but now his brother is downright grim and it makes his insides go cold.

“When I said we should see each other more, this isn’t what I meant,” Hvitserk tries his best to lighten the mood, falling back on comedy as a coping mechanism, but he can hear the desperate edge to his own voice. The one that’s pleading for this all to be some nightmare or an elaborate early April Fools joke.

Bjorn’s lips thin into a tight smile, a short hum being the only acknowledgement to the admittedly poor attempt. “Was anyone acting odd- was there anyone missing? Or were there when they shouldn’t be?” He’s grasping at straws at this point, but he’s still trying to do his job.

He watches as Hvitserk shakes his head slowly, eyes downcast but flitting around as he tries to remember something that would be useful. “Everything was too loud- the music and everybody was laughing and drinking and I…” Hvitserk trails off, the defeated sigh leaving his mouth succeeding in making him seem smaller in the chair. “I don’t know. It was just a regular party,” He rubs at his eyes, wishes that the dull ache that’s been throbbing away in his head ever since Bjorn’s first call would go away.

“It’s alright, Hvitserk,” Bjorn tries to comfort but his brother’s posture and attitude remain exactly the same and he knows he’s failed. “There was a lot going on.” A minute nod is his only response to that one. He sighs, deciding to quit while he’s behind. “Get Ivar.”

                                                                            ✥ ✥ ✥

Ivar is grinning as he sits down, propping his crutches against the table and leaning back in the chair with a mean twist of his lips. He thinks this is ridiculous, thinks that this is a waste of time for one single freshman. A freshman who had gotten drunk and and passed out or hit his head when he tripped, and the scavengers in the woods had taken advantage of the easy meal.

Bjorn only shakes his head and flips to a fresh page; by now he is used to Ivar’s apparent lack of empathy. “Bjorn!” His brother greets, all mocking excitement and sharp white teeth. “I’m surprised you’re still here. Isn’t there real police work for you to do somewhere?” He bites the inside of his cheek but otherwise doesn’t react, too strained to deal with Ivar’s attitude right now.

“Did you see anything? Hear anything?” He asks, hoping he won’t have to repeat himself.

Ivar purses his lips, shrugs his shoulders, acts like he’s sifting through his alcohol soaked memories of last night. “Not a thing,” When he finishes speaking a sound echoes through his mind for a split second, fuzzy and fleeting. He doesn’t dwell a moment on it, thinking it must have been some nearby noise that simply carried through the walls.

He notices the way his brother’s shoulders sag a millimeter in defeat and his lips quirk at the sight; the proud, justice-craving Bjorn stooping to investigating an animal attack. It was the best thing he’s heard all week.

He answers the rest of the questions flippantly, truly not remembering anything significant about last night that wasn’t the way your hair shone in the light from the fire and how you cupped your hands to your mouth when you got a chill. He’s blaming those thoughts, and the itch he’s had since he left you, on his hangover.

By the time they’re through Bjorn is frustrated, bordering on angry, that he hasn’t been able to pry a serious answer from his youngest sibling. He sends him away before he snaps, not a single word written in his notebook.

                                                                            ✥ ✥ ✥

Ubbe looks up from his plate as his brother takes a seat across from him, looking tired. It has been two days since the body was found in the woods and people are on the story like flies to honey, morbid fascination driving them into becoming armchair detectives and discussing theories over breakfast.

Bjorn runs a hand over his face, shaking his head when Ubbe tips his plate towards him in a silent offer. He’s seen a lot in his career, but the evidence photos at his desk are still making him queasy.

“I take it you have no leads?” Ubbe asks casually, waving the waitress over to pour his brother a cup of coffee. The diner they’re seated might as well be deserted at the late hour, but the journalist knows that it will be open until midnight. He comes at least once a week, sometimes days in a row, when being stuck in his office and sat at his computer isn’t working for him. The food is always hot and the coffee is fresh, and the waitresses know not to disturb him aside from refills once he gets to writing.

Bjorn heaves a sigh and takes a gulp of coffee. “The autopsy is inconclusive. The most the coroner can tell is that the skull is fractured, most likely blunt force trauma from a fall, and that the marks on the bones show that scavengers made a meal out of him.” He remembers how the coroner was just as frustrated as he was, maybe even more, that the case is a mess of could bes and most likelys. The woman is a closet perfectionist who loathes loose ends; there’s nothing she hates more than inconclusive results and not being able to prove a cause of death.

Ubbe hums once, eyes unfocused as he shovels scrambled eggs into his mouth and chews slowly. It is not the first time someone has been eaten in that forest, and it will not be the last. At least once a year someone goes missing; an amateur hiker or camper biting off more than they could chew. A tourist not expecting that they couldn’t find their way out again. Sometimes the bodies aren’t found for weeks, months. Sometimes there’s still bodies waiting to be dug up, nothing but bones.

“And what do you think?” He asks after he swallows, leaning back against the seat and crossing his arms. Bjorn is resting his elbows on the table, tired eyes flickering as the gears turn in his head.

“Do you remember the Blacks?” The question is slow, hanging in the air between them.

Ubbe scoffs. Of course he remembers them. Ten years ago Harald and Halfdan Black terrorized the city for nearly a year and a half before they were finally caught, leaving an almost unprecedented amount of bodies behind. They were the most productive serial killers he had ever seen, and Ubbe had them to thank for putting his name on the map. When it all began he was nothing but a start up, fresh out of university and still bright eyed. His coverage of the whole thing was what made his career.

“In case you’ve forgotten, brother, they’ve been in a maximum security prison for the past nine years.”

Bjorn shakes his head in a way that makes Ubbe glad his mug is on the table instead of his hand, otherwise he might have dropped it. “They’ve escaped.”

“What?”

Bjorn glances around, double checking that they are, in fact, alone in the diner. The only exceptions are the cook and the waitress, but they’re both chatting at the counter and out of earshot if he keeps his voice low. “They were being transferred to a Supermax-”

“Together?” One of the stipulations the prosecution rallied for -and got- during the trial was that the brothers were to kept separate at all times.

Bjorn’s hackles raise and he gives his brother a cutting look, making it clear that he knows that it was a bad idea from the start, but he is only a police officer. If he had anything to say in how the Blacks were moved then they wouldn’t have this situation.

“Together. They overpowered the guards and got out, the transport truck was found a little less than halfway to the Supermax.”

Ubbe rubs his mouth, shaking his head. He can’t bring himself to pick up his fork again. “You’re telling me that the Blacks are free men and that you think they did this?”

“It fits the timeline. Maybe the kid saw something he shouldn’t have,”

“Fuck me,” The two words are harsh in Ubbe’s mouth and the darkness that surrounds the diner, broken only by the neon signs and street lights, seems a little darker now. He stares out the window, eyes searching for movement in the shadows before he knows he’s doing it, mind conjuring up very real boogeymen that could be lurking in the alleys and behind the trees.

“We don’t have any leads on them; Ragnar’s going to make the announcement on Friday.”

“People are going to panic,”

“With Harald and Halfdan Black running around, maybe a little paranoia is good for them.”

[nopethatsnotembarrassing]

So I've calmed down quite a bit and have gotten to that numb feeling of indifference

Still a bit pissed off when I think about it but not enough to hurt anyone

Just need to vent a bit in the read more (just ignore this)

I'm gonna put it up to the fact of it was a difficult morning for my sis (and me but hey I don't get to complain right? )

But even then I'm not going to talk to or be around her unless I have to be

Cause you don't pull the "you act like your the only cripple here" Cause then you can go fuck yourself

I've had chronic pain since I was fucking 11

And undiagnosed mental issues since around the same age that I still haven't been able to deal with and get diagnosed cause no matter how much I dont want to exist anymore I know I can't do anything more than punch myself out of fear of hurting my family, but physical issues could potentially kill me. So I see physical doctors before mental ones.

It just hurts cause out of everyone in the house I expected that from her the least.

But now I know I can't trust her at fucking all so that's good to know now

Like I've dealt with shit from people at school about how I get treated differently but I never fucking expected her to pull that fucking shit

14 year old me said it best I guess when we were joking around and she asked why I got to have cool crutches and braces "Thanks they're for my pain and my limp, I can give you one if you like"

[mermaidblue20]

Scarlet Night

Hey, so I also like to write original stories as well as fanfiction and I wanna share the first chapter of one I have been working on for quite a while. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

Summer break began a week ago and I’m already going crazy. Thank god I am leaving this weekend because I don’t think I’d be able to stand a whole summer with my mother. I love her, but she is seriously batshit crazy.

“Angelica! Can you come here for a minute?!” I hear her call from downstairs. Speak of the devil.

“Alright, be down in a bit!” I called down to her. I swear she has a sixth sense for when I’m avoiding her. I throw the covers off of me and go sit at my vanity. I decide to throw my hair up into a ponytail before heading down, it’s quick, easy, and makes my hair look fiery. I’ve been dying my hair a bright, scarlet red for the past two years because I was tired of people comparing me to my mother. We had the same hair, same eyes, same face, same everything; so I dyed my hair. She was so pissed but it was worth it. I was so tired of hearing comments about how much I look like her and how I’m her spitting image. It’s not that my mom isn’t beautiful, I just hate being compared to her. My mom is not a kind individual, in fact she is a raging bitch 90% of the time. People automatically start to judge me and who I am because of her. Most of the people at my school hate me because of her, that’s why I stopped telling her about any school events I had.

“What’s taking so long, Angie? Get down here!” she yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Coming!” Geez, I wonder who pissed her off today. I hope it’s not anything I did, I really don’t wanna get on her bad side before I leave. I’ve done my chores and I even did work that wasn’t on the list. I guess it’s time to face the music though. I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where she was leaning against the counter. 

“I was wondering if you got lost or something, I mean god damn. Anyway, I’ve got a couple of questions for you Angelica.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. “First off, what kind of plans do you have for the summer?”

Shit, she knows. I know that she knows, and she’s just messing with me. No, I am not gonna let her ruin this for me, I have a great summer planned and she can’t stop me. I am almost out of here, I can do this. Besides, there’s a .01% that she doesn’t know and that she’s genuinely curious about my plans so I’ll just play it cool.

“Well, Lexi’s mom invited me to go with them to Mississippi for the summer. They leave Friday and I was hoping I could go with them,” I told her. Which wasn’t a complete lie. When I was over there earlier her mom did invite me to go with them, but they don’t leave for another week and I wasn’t even considering it. I love Lexi but a whole summer with her dysfunctional family? No thanks, I can barely deal with my dysfunctional mom for a week.

“Oh, that’s nice of her! Now for my next question, what are you really doing this summer?” 

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying my best to look innocent. I know it’s not working but there’s no turning back now.

“Okay, have it your way. Follow me!” she commanded. She turned to walk towards the front room and when I didn’t move she grabbed my arm and yanked me after her. I flinched but I had no choice but to go with her. When we got into the front room she pushed me into a chair and walked over to where the phone was. Before I could ask what was going on she pressed play on the voicemail. Audrey’s voice filled the room:

“Hey Angie, it’s Audrey. I’ve tried texting and calling your cell but you haven’t gotten back to me and your voicemail box is still full. You really need to clear that out girl! Anyway, I’m calling to let you know that everything is ready for when you get here on Friday; however, I’m not gonna be there when you arrive. My mom is cleaning out my old room to turn it into a guest bedroom and she needs my help. I’m gonna be gone til Sunday afternoon, but I can leave the key somewhere for you to get into the house. I’ll probably just  tape it to the underside of one of the chairs on the front porch. I wanted to call you about it because I’m leaving for my mom’s tomorrow morning and I don’t have any signal down there. If you get this before then, call or text me to let me know you got it. I can’t wait to see you again, it’s been too long. Love you, sis. Bye!”

Well, it’s official. I’m dead. I’ve avoided looking at my mom throughout the message, but for some idiotic reason I decide to glance over at her. Bad decision. Her eyes are widened and her pupils are dilated so that only a small ring of hazel is peeking out around the dark black. Her nostrils are flared and I can see every shaky breath in her tense shoulders, almost as if she’s trying to refrain herself from swinging at me. The only other time I’ve seen her this angry is when Audrey introduced herself to us at my dad’s funeral three years ago.  

“What the hell Angelica?!” She blew up, “Why are you still in contact with her? Why are you going over to her house?! I told you to stay away from her. She is only trying to tear this family apart, why else would she be telling this horrible lie? I cannot believe you would do something like this, betraying me and your father. You are not allowed to  contact her again, do you understand me?”

I am so tired of hearing this stupid bullshit, I can’t take it anymore. So I do the one thing I never thought I would have the guts to do. I fight back. 

“You need to shut up and not talk about my sister that way. She is not lying. Why on Earth would she lie about being Dad’s daughter?! You need to get over yourself and accept that she is family and that I want her in my life. We both knew that there was something Dad was hiding from us, why else would he be going on weekend long business trips every month. He was a goddamn plumber, what kind of plumber has that many business trips. He hid her from us all these years, but now I am fixing his mistakes. I am going to her house this summer. I am going to get to know her. My sister is going to be a part of this family. Get. Over. It.” 

My mom stood there, her mouth stretched into a thin line and shoulders shaking slightly. I could tell I didn’t have much longer before things got really bad, so I ran. I got out of that room and upstairs as fast as I could. As soon as I got to my room I slammed the door and locked it. Thank god I still had that lock because almost as soon as I turned it, she was banging on the other side trying to get in. 

I needed to get out of here, I can’t stay here for another 3 days. I packed up the rest of my belongings and slipped my converse on. I only have 2 suitcases so getting them out of the window without her noticing should be easy enough, especially since she’s still screaming and banging on my door. I opened my window and tossed them haphazardly onto the lawn. There’s nothing fragile in them so whatever. Next comes the hard part, getting myself out of the window. Last time I attempted this, I slid down the roof and landed on my ankle funny. I wound up spraining it and had crutches for a week and a half. I can’t risk hurting myself this time, I gotta make a quick getaway. 

Very carefully I straddle the window sill and make sure that my foot has a good enough grip to not slip. I turn so that both of my feet are on the roof and then slide my butt onto it as well, the easiest way to do this is to treat it like a slide. A slide that just so happens to have a 8 foot drop off at the end. Just as I’m starting to slide slowly down the roof I heard my mom stop banging on the door. I know she must’ve given up and started heading downstairs, which normally would’ve been a relief but my bags were sitting on the front lawn in plain view of the living room window. I don’t have time to take this slowly anymore, I had to get there before she saw them and caught me. I needed to hurry.

I quickly scoot my way down the roof trying to be careful yet fast. When I hit the edge I dug my hands and feet in so that I could stop before I fell onto my face. I turn around to grab onto the edge and drop myself to the ground. As I’m dangling I heard the front door slam open.

“ANGELICA WHAT-“ 

I dropped as soon as I heard my name, picked up my bags and ran for it.

“IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, YOU’RE GONNA REGRET IT. ANGELICA!” I can hear her calling after me down the street. “FINE. DON’T COME BACK THEN! ENJOY LIVING IN THAT LYING BITCH’S HOME.”

I continue to run until I can no longer see the house. I am so glad to be out of that suffocating environment, but at the same time I feel a pang in  my chest. My own mother just kicked me out of our- HER house. I never thought this would happen to me. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I know that if I don’t distract myself with something that they are going to come flooding out. Straightening my back, I resolved not to let her get to me. I called Lexi to see if I can stay with her until Friday, God I am so lucky to have her in my life.

[personalitypie]

Why is Ti-si loop the worst? How does your intp act like in it?

@fridahidle this is for you too since you sent an ask about this as well! 

I’ll preface by saying my intp is just starting to come out of his loop and has been really deep in it for almost two years, so his behavior will obviously be on the more extreme side. I won’t say this applies to every looping intp, but I do believe the general gist will remain the same. My intp is (tentatively) a 5w6 (593) sp/so if that makes some of these make more sense.

Enfp once explained looping Si in any position to me like a wheel. All the information they need to survive is stored somewhere on this wheel that’s constantly spinning in between their ears. So if you say something that contradicts what they have on their wheel, the information will go in one ear, go over the top of the wheel, and will immediately fall off of it before it gets to the bottom, and whatever you said may as well have never happened.

So going off of that, intps in a Ti-Si loop exemplify this behavior in a few ways:

they can’t understand your emotions, so if you react a certain way (negatively) because of something they do (unfiltered Ti+inf Fe being rude without understanding how or why it’s rude) they’ll just claim you’re overly emotional and completely disregard how you feel 

since they can’t understand your emotions, they DEFINITELY can’t understand their own, so for example, when they do get angry, they won’t admit that they’re angry because they don’t know how to identify when they are feeling the emotion of anger (let alone any other emotion) so if you try to calm them down, they’ll just say they’re not angry at all even though they’ll continue acting like they are. This will completely drain them of energy without them knowing it and they’ll need to retreat immediately

if you try to communicate any of this to them, like I said, Ti-Si has this incredible way of letting things go in one ear and out the other because if they don’t understand you (i.e. if what you’re saying doesn’t fit into their extraordinarily limited Ti-Si hard logic system), what you’re saying cannot be valid and nothing you say will ever be heard

intps can become much more rigid and schedule-based, they lose their “cool, calm, and collected” demeanor and get very easily and visibly stressed and frustrated if anyone messes with their predetermined way of doing things (tert Si completely taking over Ne and also why my intp tested istj mid-looping)

completely incapable of balance due to their off-kilter relationship with Ne, which inherently WANTS to explore new and fun things. So this can be with anything…diet, exercise, games, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, etc. They’ll swear off it, and then after even the smallest stressor, will binge for a whole day i.e. work out too hard and completely murder their muscles so they can’t work out again for at least a week, get completely trashed even though it’s a Wednesday and no one else is, buy 15 stalks of corn in an attempt to be healthy and then eat none of them, stay high for an entire day, etc. Basically it’s all regular tert Si stuff, but taken to an extreme level

they’ll follow extremely arbitrary “rules” that make sense to them, but literally no one else, and these rules may or may not be based on one small thing from their past or something they read somewhere one time before they started looping

they will CLING to anything in their past that makes them feel comfortable and safe (especially when combined with an enneagram 5 or dominant sp). It’ll be one or two things that they’ll just continually cycle through and retreat to in times of stress. The same movies, the same books, the same games, etc. And whatever it is will become a substitute for actually dealing with whatever issues they encounter, so they will do it a lot. For my intp it’s nintendo. Despite his progress, if our “emotional” conversations goes even a minute over his capacity, he has to play nintendo for an hour to calm down, recharge, digest, get away. It really was, and still is, a crutch (this is all absent Ne+tert Si manifestation)

By this point the structure of my intp and I’s conversations had completely degenerated into something like this:

intp/enfj: says somethingenfj/intp: disagrees intp: says the same thing + I’m right thoughenfj: gives evidence upon evidence upon evidence of why intp is actually really wrongintp: gives some variation of “this is too in-depth” “I don’t care enough abt this topic to consider what you said” “you’re too emotional”  “you’re dumb and just don’t understand what I’m saying” “ok well you’re still wrong because…you just are and I don’t have to explain why” * 

*(translation: my brain literally can’t handle intaking any new info therefore I’m incapable of understanding you therefore I must stop you right now lest my perfectly sculpted wall of Ti-Si defense gets a big ass canon sized hole blown right through the center of it)

It was only when I really understood Si that I could begin to see this pattern and stop these pointless and completely unhelpful conversations before they began.

And I really think it’s easy to tell when someone is on this track because they never ask themselves “why” and therefore never really know why they’re doing what they’re doing. And if you ask them why, they’ll constantly go in circles. Eventually they’ll just be saying the same thing different ways. Nothing gets analyzed in depth anymore, it just is because it is. You can imagine that in this mindset, any talk of anything even remotely abstract goes out the window. My intp couldn’t stand any theoretical or philosophical conversations. They would visibly stress him out.

This basically negates everything an intp does well, which is constantly question everything around them and learn about a bunch of cool shit in the process! It’s also completely impossible to have any real conversations with. How can you talk to someone who says the same thing over and over again?

SO why is Ti-Si worse than any of the other type of looping? Of course this is my personal opinion, but it’s largely due to 1) inferior Fe, which is already sometimes tough to deal with normally and 2) the fact that introverted thought processes are entirely internal, so you can’t see it, can’t access it, and DEFINITELY can’t change it, and therefore their loops are much harder to break.