#so what’s worth this label? it’s like

[ducktracy]

That "there's no such thing toxic positivity" from your blog post has wormed its way into my brain and gave me an epiphany; the behavior that gets labeled as "toxic positivity" (at least when people are using the label on soneone actually being toxic rather than trying to put soneone positive down) is actually a paradoxical form of toxic negativity where target of said negativity is towards negativity itself

I’M SO GLAD IT RESONATED!!! exactly!!!!! “toxic positivity” is one of my most loathed terms. and i understand why it’s used, it’s a shorthand, it gets a point across, but it’s oxymoronic. if any positivity is toxic, it’s not positivity. someone encouraging you to just be grateful or just smile or bootstrap it or whatever else and dismissing your concerns is not positivity—it is a voluntary ignorance that understandably makes the other party feel guilty and worse. nothing is positive about that!

optimism and positivity really mean a lot to me and are integral to me, and i probably get more defensive than necessary over it. but i’m so defensive because i used to know what the other side of the coin was like! i know what it’s like to be jaded and cynical and even hateful and i can owe that to a lot of bad influences in my formative years. and it’s WHY it’s so important for me to dispel the notions about what positivity and optimism and hope are

i’m not saying you should react to every situation with a smile. there are some scenarios where that’s not possible, especially now. doing so and pulling a “well, it could be worse, you could x y z so don’t complain!” is a statement of ignorance and dismissal and, again, that is not positivity. but what is positivity is the drive to incite change. to band together with your allies. to take action. that is making a positive change. to strive for a better world is positivity. and often, to do that, you have to BE aware of the negative. positivity is not sticking your head in a hole in the ground. it’s confronting what needs to be changed, analyzing it, and using that to help inform your next course of action

positivity is patience and understanding and encouragement, not dismissal and ignorance in the vein of manufactured happiness which is actually just a flimsy mask hoping to hide your fear and ignorance. listen to yourself, listen to your friends and neighbors. listen to their problems and offer a safe space. acknowledge their problems and don’t belittle them for it. even if there isn’t much you can do in the moment, depending on the issue, at least take comfort in knowing that you’re one more person giving someone an outlet to feel safe and be listened to. that is more positive and loving and indicative of a positive future than any sort of hasty dismissal with a smile painted on top.

and obviously this is easier for some to do than others. it is much more easy to be dismissive, nihilistic, negative, and so on and so forth. and, again, some situations demand that—contrary to what most “positive” people say (hint: theyre not truly positive), feeling a Bad Emotion does not mean you are unlovable and in some situations, forcing “positivity” would BE the negativity. but it takes more effort to be courageous and optimistic and a champion of positive change.

this is why it is so so so important for me to stress the importance of positivity and love and solidarity. the more people that do it, the easier it will be for others. it’s amazing how basic principles such as “being nice” are dissuaded on the internet because it’s cool to be rude and dismissive to random strangers for internet clout! cynicism breeds more cynicism, and, conversely, optimism breeds more optimism. it’s harder to do the latter, but so much more worth it, and you can take solace in knowing that you may inspire others to do the same. i speak from experience

there is a bright side to most situations and that bright side is worth striving for, even if that bright side is as simple as “i’m offering an extra shoulder to lean on”. this shouldn’t have to be some grand act of charity. if more people decide to be more optimistic and loving and positive, if we learn to drop these stupid false notions about what positivity is and forget about labels and instead just prioritize being a decent human being, this won’t have to be seen as a grand act of charity. it’s a domino reaction. be a domino.

TLDR: don’t be a dick.

[cloama]

It’s really me and my DBT workbook against the world.

[3-aem]

my toxic trait is picking up random hobbies on a whim like today i went shopping for a cardigan but found No cardigan i liked and so i naturally decided that i can just knit one even tho the only thing i have ever knit was a 8” by 3” rectangle in 5th grade that just looked so pathetic-

[crazymecjc]

vashwood week day two- names

[fuckdamn]

everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing

[payasitas]

i saw the tv glow a few days ago, and i still don’t even know how to properly relay the feelings that welled up within me as i was watching. despite desperately attempting to form the words to articulate what it articulated for me, as i try to untie my tongue. i can only really ascribe it to this spiritual and harrowing sensation of fully acknowledging the all encompassing static that had enveloped me in my own life, which was now sharpened and pushing my surroundings further and further away by the minute. a lot of this alienation was amplified by the screen in such a way that magnified my own need for escape and rebirth, but i'm still trying to figure out where those two desires truly begin and what i can unravel within me.

[wild-at-mind]

I really think if you have deprogrammed yourself from being hard right (well done btw) then you should at all costs avoid throwing yourself into hard left politics, especially anything that involves hating people who you consider too moderate....just maybe practice some radical compassion for 'moderates', try and understand where they are coming from, and extend them the same goodwill you presumably were extended in order to extracate yourself from the hard right. Basically what I'm saying is avoid extremes of the political spectrum for a while. And by for a while I mean like a decade. It'll be a good idea trust me.

[biscuityskies]

Consumerist culture is going to be the end of me.

Trying to beat it back with a stick as I drag myself to work and then to the grocery store and then to the department store where they have things that they don’t have at the grocery store is hard enough. BUT NOW I HAVE TO BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK IN FIC WRITING???? WITH MY SILLY LITTLE BLORBOS????? WHERE I GO TO GET AWAY FROM CONSUMERIST CULTURE???????

I’m sorry I don’t write long, drawn out, multi-chaptered fics that have a beginning a middle and an end. I’m sorry I can’t spare the time or the energy trying to figure out how best to navigate my writing, because I’m just trying to survive the real world. I’m sorry I can’t write the amazing cinematic masterpieces. Doesn’t mean I don’t dream about it.

Perhaps more importantly, I’m sorry to the other authors whose works I no longer have time to read. And I’m sorry to the other authors who are feeling this way.

My stick is breaking, and I don’t have another one.

[daz4i]

in the same vein as i talk about cannibalism and the likes, so like purely fantasy and with all parties enthusiastically consenting and everything is done out of passion. do you agree with me that there can be romance in necrophilia.

[kazoologist]

not to be a colossal fucking cowabummer about everything but it really does suck that like. my really chill and like. supposedly more realistic type of career goal feels about as unattainable as like a kid saying he wants to be a singer or something

[bumblingbabooshka]

Worst Guy Ever - Also, Unfortunately, Very Homosexual Convo. (subtextually)

[separatismor]

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[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

Is my toxic trait psychoanalyzing other people and thinking I’m the exception because I’m actually soooo observant and aware of the signs

[emry-stars-art]

emry how do you decide what do you post on intagram and here? i want to comment and go insane over things but i only have my personal ig 😅😅

Uh oh uhhhhh I don’t really have a method? 😅 i try to post most things on both at some point or another, it’s just going to be a whole different beast putting the royal au stuff over there because it’s such a different format, and the kind of posting I’ve been doing for the au requires a long form posting ability that insta just can’t do well. It isn’t a blog like over here on tumblr 🤷

I’ll probably forget to cross post things - between my discord, insta, and tumblr, it gets confusing to my little goldfish brain when I have a lot of content at once that I’m putting in different places at different times. If I remember, the biggest thing that’s on insta and not here atm is the little beach chibis, but I do plan to have them here very soon!

I hope that was your question anyway, and if I misunderstood please come back and correct me lol but yeah most of the questions about my confusing social media habits can be boiled down to 1) I refuse (read: am mentally unable) to bow to any other social’s algorithm and 2) I have adhd memory and serotonin seeking 😂 thank you so much for wanting to comment and yell about my stuff though, it’s actually literally the highlight of my days!! 💕

[youareinlove]

I’m sorry you got hate in may from the shippers, that sounds awful

thanks, anon. i tried not to let it get to me- and for the most part, it didn't- but it did suck a little

[deus-and-the-machina]

one of my absolute least favorite ways to view a story is “wow something sad and pointlessly horrible happened to this character that was so unfair. This is BAD WRITING” like yeah sometimes it can be but also maybe that was…the writers point…to write a tragedy…famously not stories that make you feel good. And there’s meaning in that too and I wish people would try to interact with that more instead of assuming bad faith on the writers part