#El's boyfriend Orion

[ace-and-ranty]

BTW.

Liesel and Aadhya are 100% part of the polycule in that IT IS CANON that “school allies” is its own specific kind of relationship for indie kids in this setting. They are all basically queerplatonic partners. It is canon. Naomi said it. Right up there next to marriage.

[functionalasfuck]

I love how Liesel is to El what El is to Orion. Someone who forcibly yanks them from the scruff of their neck away from a cliff with sound logic and higher intellect when they’re about to stupidly jump off.

[ellora-borealis]

Has anyone drawn Galadriel Higgins and Orion Lake as that Barbie/Ken meme? I would do it myself but I am untalented please

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #42 – The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik

This is the rare book that I read less than six months after finishing the previous entry in the series, and only the second definite conclusion to a series. It was incredibly readable and never a slog, and the big final climactic set-piece absolutely worked for me, but on the whole I probably enjoyed it rather less than The Last Graduate?

The book picks up the precise moment Graduate lets off, with El getting shoved out of the Scholomance moments before it goes spinning off into the void by Orion – her storybook monster-hunting hero/traumatized child soldier boyfriend. Who she instantly tries to move heaven and earth to drag him out, and then spends a week near catatonic with exhaustion and grief. In the end, the plot comes in the form of Liesel, the valedictorian of her year at the Scholomance, arriving and all but dragging her off to save the London Enclave from imminent collapse and consumption by a rampant Mawmouth, one of the horrifying, deathless monsters that she is one of exactly two people alive to ever kill. From there she’s dragged into the mystery of an unknown malificer destabilizing and destroying enclaves, the brewing war between New York and Shanghai, and convincing Orion’s family to help try and rescue him before the Scholomance vanishes entirely into the void.

Despite being about ostensible adults who have graduated and are properly finding their places in the world, this still very much read like YA to me – moreso, really, without the conceit of the killer magic highschool overshadowing everything else. Or, okay, have gotten disagreement when describing the series as YA before, so to be more specific – El’s romantic and familial drama are quite literally the most important things in the world, as she and her highschool boyfriend are the most important and powerful entities in all creation. With the exception of El’s mom being a saint and providing healing and support, I’m pretty sure literally every consequential act that occurs on-screen is done either by or to someone under 20. El melts down, fucks off for a week, and never answers her phone in a way that is very relatable for an overwhelmed 18-year-old but potentially world-war-starting for a walking WMD. And so on. Without the deliberately artificial setting of the Scholomance, the wires of genre convention just show through more obviously, you know? (Also, my first introduction to Novik was Spinning Silver and I’m still waiting to read anything else of hers that comes near it on the level of prose and style).

None of which is a complaint – the fact that your boyfriend’s mom is literally the worst person in the world just comes with the territory. What is a complaint is how the book treats its supporting cast. This is El and Orion’s story, and I’m pretty sure they are literally the only people in it who get – not even an arc, but just any sense of development or change over time whatsoever. They feel like characters, everyone else feels like cardboard cutouts, or NPCs in a video game. Which is a fair choice to make when space is at a premium, but my copy of this came out to over 400 pages. Even the other characters with enough personality and screentime to make any sort of impression can honestly be counted on one hand.

In consequence, this is an incredibly plot-driven novel. The pacing is both frenetic and frantic, with what feels like basically the entire thing spent either in or rushing to one crisis or big dramatic set-piece after another – a surprising amount of it is spent in airports, honestly. The epilogue mentions that they ‘crammed a decade worth of crises into a fortnight’ or something along those liens and, yeah! The contrast between this and the previous two books spreading their crises across whole school years is inescapable.

That said, that frantic, 400-page-sprint plot did work. Or, at least, the big emotional setpieces and dramatic confrontations that are clearly the heart of the whole thing absolutely hit me like they were supposed to. The finale especially.

There is a certain sort of cliche in old arguments about superhero stories, where one side says that superman is boring because he’s more powerful than the rest of the world put together and impossible to threaten, and the other says that he’s interesting for precisely the same reason. This isn’t actually true of most superman stories as far as I can tell, but it still seems an apt comparison for this book. There is absolutely no point in the entire story where ‘Can El kill this?’ is a question that is in any doubt. The horrifying monsters that the thought of fighting again in Book 2 sent her into panic attacks? She can kill them with a sentence an a wave of her hands. There is simply not a moment in the book where her efforts fail due to a lack of force – so the entire story becomes an exercise in supplying dramatic tension and a compelling action-adventure wizard-battle narrative despite this handicap. And it (mostly) works!

The series has never been big on villains – in both the previous books, the central problem being struggled against was always environmental or systemic or a matter of coordination and planning. This book redoubles the commitment, to the point of dangling the red herring of the sinister dark wizard running around destroying enclaves before eventually revealing that the real villain is, well, the collateral damage of trying to fix (metaphorical) climate change and structural inequality without a full understanding of the problem. Never a really convincing red herring, but I still enjoyed the reveal.

Part of the whole YA feel is just the themes being very close to the surface of things and legible to casual reading. What with the enclaves of comfort and luxury that every wizard is fighting for entrance to literally being built on a foundation of eternal and deathless suffering, or the number of monsters in the world being the proliferation of enclaves as China and India began catching up with the Euro-Americans leading to an arms/development race that leaves anyone not part of it just more and more fucked over, and all. Not a bad thing – honestly it’s a compliment to say that the book managed to have such clear themes with such obvious applicability to the real world without ever feeling like it had turned into a lecture. Many similar works fail the test.

It is I think kind of funny how you can use the prominence of queerness in this series to track how the culture of mainstream publishing has changed between releases. From not really mentioned at all in Deadly Education to El sleeping with a woman on-page in this. (I actually can’t remember if she ever, like, realized she was bi or it just got retroactively established as something she was already comfortable with?)

Speaking of themes – this is mostly just on me personally, but the whole resolution with El’s great-grandmother left an intense bad taste in my mouth. I’m sure it was just necessary to make the whole very cute resolution of her whole doom-laden prophecy work, but ‘yes the family matriarch basically threw my mom in the gutter with newborn me in her arms, but it was with the best of intentions! She felt really bad about it, and she was right that it was the only way things would work out well in the end!’ is a trope that just viscerally repels me. Or at least it does when El reconciling and reconnecting with the extended family that abandoned her is clearly portrayed as part of the big happy ending. I’d probably react less harshly if this was a different genre, honestly? But as it is, yeah, in the same way that being so consistent about making The System the only real villain makes the fact that there’s apparently some sort of system of instant karma and doing good things/being a good person actually does make the universe like and do good things for you ring a bit hollow.

Anyway yes, there’s definitely more to talk about – Orion as a character is a whole essay in himself, and so is his mom, but that’s enough for now. It was a very fun, addictively readable book that hit the Big Moments very well, but everything outside of them and the two main characters felt kind of threadbare and perfunctory. Still, not a book I regret reading.

[ao-ihinata]

Relationship struggles in the scholomance series

Ibrahim looking at Orion :😍

El to Jacob : stop your boyfriend from falling in love with my boyfriend

Liesel seducing El :😮‍💨🙄😤😏😏😎　

Orion to Alfee : are you just going to watch your girlfriend seduce my girlfriend ?! No!! El!! please don't fall for her again!!

Khamis tugging Nkoyo's right arm : she's too good to be your friend

El tugging Nkoyo's left arm ( teeth nashing ) : Oh yeah ?! Well I think she's too good to be your girlfriend

[sandange]

I'm starting The Golden Enclaves tomorrow, and I hope we get more insight into what an Absolute Weird Kid Orion was. We've heard a couple anecdotes, Chloe was very admiring while acknowledging the weirdness, because that's who Chloe is. Orion basically admitted he was a bizarre kid obsessed with hunting mals and little else.

We already know El's childhood pretty clearly at this point. El has all the receipts on what a Scary Creepy little girl she was. Now we need the deets on her weird boyfriend. Boy has two settings, Hunting and Head Empty No Thoughts, with nothing in between.

[hrny-song-tournament]

Inspired by other song brackets like @crysongz, @best-overplayed-song, @weird-song-bracket, @lovesongbracket, @songcharshowdown, @songshowdown, @movingmusiccomp.

Also tagging @tournamentdirectory, @ultimate-poll-tournament, @thedilftournament, @ultimatemilvesbracket. Pls let me know if you are uncomfortable with being tagged in this bracket.

Btw, it's a safe space for aspecs if you aren't sex repulsed etc.

It's time for horny. 69 songs, but which is the horniest/makes you most horny?

Cardi B - WAP vs Nine Inch Nails - Closer

Hey Violet - Guys My Age

Hudson Mohawke - Cbat vs Lilianna Wide - Grind Me Down (Jawster Remix)

Ok Go - I Want You So Bad I Can't Breathe vs Prince - Soft and Wet

Arctic Monkeys - I Wanna Be Yours vs Gunther - Ding Dong Song

Britney Spears - 3 vs Daft Punk - Something About Us

Ty Dolla $ign - Or Nah vs MCR - F.T.W.W.W.

Rihanna - S&M

Lady Gaga - G.U.Y. vs Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know

Reinaeiry (Sam Smith Cover) - Unholy vs KiNG MALA - she calls me daddy

Jen Foster - I Didn't Just Kiss Her vs Mariah Carey - Touch My Body

Depeche Mode - Master And Servant vs NEFFEX - Rumors

Justin Timberlake - SexyBack

Heathers: The Musical - Dead Girl Walking vs 5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth

Ayla D'Lyla and Miss Madeline - Life Could Be Sweet vs Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On

Simon Curtis - Flesh vs Hozier - Dinner & Diatribes

Nanne Grönvall - Håll om mig vs Arctic Monkeys - Knee Socks

Beyonce - Rocket vs Transviolet - Girls Your Age

George Michael - Careless Whisper vs Lemon Demon - Two Trucks

Shakira - She Wolf vs K/DA - Villain

Hozier - Talk

The Orion Experience - The Cult of Dionysus vs Moulin Rouge Cast - El Tango De Roxanne

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls vs Miike Snow - Genghis Khan

Lil Nas X - MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) vs Dove Cameron - Boyfriend

Khia - My Neck My Back vs Kim Cesarion - Brains Out

Hatsune Miku and Megurine Luka - Magnet vs Rick James - Super Freak

mazie - girls just wanna have sex vs Queen - Get Down, Make Love

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) vs Santana - Smooth

Todrick Hall - I LIKE BOYS vs Dead Or Alive - I Wanna Be A Toy

Olivia Newton-John - Physical

Neon Trees - Animal vs Hozier - Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene

Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom vs Ashnikko - Slumber Party

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Strip Away My Conscience vs Holychild - Bathroom Bitch

Jhameel - Feisty vs Arctic Monkeys - 505

Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment vs Ofenbach - Be Mine

The Weeknd - Earned It vs Jeangu Macrooy - Shake Up This Place

Hozier - Moment's Silence vs annapantsu - Hellfire

[theskyexists]

The golden enclaves

Ok so i like how this starts with: Orion has been unutterably stupid

Please tell me that we will find out why

This was devastating.

But also WHY IS ORION SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT HE PROMISED TO GO WITH HER AND INSTEAD HE MADE HER LOSE HIM FOR NO REASON TO A FUCKING MAWMOUTH LIKE HER DAD WAS FUCKING LOST BUT NOT KILLED BECAUSE THE VICTIMS DONT DIE THEYRE DIGESTED FOREVER IN ETERNAL PAIN Jezus Naomi god it really is horrific what is up with this

Also, and I say this with absolute extreme disdain, El seriously only just now realised that she has perfect combat synergy with Orion and she COULD have destroyed Patience and freed her father from the eternal torment of being digested? Like......seriously? Did Liesel not even realise this, who is the only one with any brains? (I realise that Liesel at least had different priorities)

Also I am going to explain Orion's craziness and personality change in book 2 as such: he didn't have any mals to eat and so he went mad. He decided, like the piece of shit that he is, that he'd prefer to do months of battle against mals because at least he wouldn't be hungry.

The funny thing is that book 2 ESTABLISHED that El has ZERO absolutely ZERO idea of what goes on in Orion's head. Like. She doesn't get him AT ALL. So her prevaricating on how he's so misunderstood and pushed to be what everybody sees in him - he ALREADY TOLD YOU HE JUST LOVES EATING MALS HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING HE JUST LOVES EATING MALS EL STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND PROJECTING YOUR OWN SHIT ON THIS POOR BOY

She's literally comparing herself to him again. Look he was a hero and I was an evil witch. Everybody thought that and wanted that from us. EL HE DIDNT FUCKING CARE OK????? Worse, (and it makes sense in this moment), she somehow threads her mum's direct look at his soul into this narrative as some kind of reinforcement of it. He didn't care El. He didn't care. He's just a hungry boy.....

In fact, I cannot remember her classmates ever hating El. Because....they didn't even know she was fated to be an evil witch archetype? They just avoided her bc she wasn't an asset to their survival they thought which was so absurdly idiotic since EL IS A GODDAMN MAL EXTERMINATOR and she never told anyone because of her stupid fucking hangups she could have been a fucking prep and made everybody's lives so much better so much earlier

'because he thought it was his job to make a way out for everybody but him'

This is why I didn't like the second book so much. El is so obviously delusional about this guy.

I cannot STAND IT!!!! HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU HE HAS NO HERO COMPLEX EL!!!! YOU WERE HAVING YOUR LOVELY FIRST TRY AT SEX WITH THIS COOL GUY AND HE SAID: NAH EL. I JUST LIKE TO EAT!!! MALS!!!!!

And the weird thing is she GOT it. When she was getting his mana as he was zipping around pulverising them she was like: OH he loves this. I guess I was wrong. So why are we back here??? Or do I remember that wrong??

I've forgotten how the magic system works. Shit. Malia? Oh yeah.... There was some sort of prophecy. She was gonna bring the enclaves down and kill lots of people or soemthing. so why the fuck did they leave the payment open???

Oh yeaaaahhh the enclaves got hit

"She really did an excellent job of making it seem perfectly ludicrous for me to be living quietly in my own home instead of keeping close tabs on the latest news from international wizarding circles."

LOL

Can seriously nothing kill a mawmouth but El? How is that even POSSIBLE. How did enclaves ever work then? The moment a mawmouth gets in its over

How the fuck is Liesel THIS good at manipulating El. Oh my god.

Her saying: hey bitch, stop feeling sorry for yourself, your boyfriend being dead, no thank you by the way for saving all of ours lives, I don't care about your other problems, or that you might want a break from the horrors with your mum, also come help me out with the worst most insanely horrible creature in the world AGAIN because I know only you can do it. Bitch. Your house sucks

That worked....

She's going to London to fight another fucking Mawmouth - something her mother doesn't even KNOW SHES DONE YET - and leaves her behind without even a hug of goodbye. AFTER FOR YEARS OF TERROR. I honestly....I'm speechless. I started to suspect El was insanely dumb in book 2 but damn, she really is perhaps the dumbest protag I have ever known barring Korra

I love Liesel. Liesel saw El, FOR WHAT SHE WAS, and she CALLED HER OUT,, and said: you are such a stupid fucking idiot. In book 2. Thank god she's around. She's the only good thing out of book 2 really in my opinion. She says to El: you are insanely powerful. You could change the whole world. Now DO IT! Stop sniveling in the fucking dirt!

Ok there we go. There's my El. 'i eyed him in enormous irritation' her fucking disdain for the preps is my endless delight. Even to her enormous personal disadvantage.

Oh I see. It's like Naomi novik read my harry potter post about the wizards being the Fae.

I remember reinterpreting els prophecy into its super obvious good meaning but can't remember what it was.

How the fuck can Enclaves be based in Malia if that's not allowed (murder? But that's illegal.)

Oh what??? There's still working wizards out there working on keeping the enclave running??? Oh damn. Ok so the class hierarchy becomes explicitly about adult production.

Liesel made her angry again. Made El who she is again.

Why isn't everybody fucking fleeing dude??? Why are there still even people there? Grt the fuck out! The enclave is compromised! Get out with your damn lives you preps!

Oh my god. Go after it! It's fucking going after someone else!!! Oh my god go after it guys!!! IT WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM EL???? CAN MAWMOUTHS KNOW SUCH THINGS?

I have to say. Naomi made a deeply op protag and is now taking a more powerful hammer to the self-delusion that El mysteriously developed about her own power.

Liesel, impervious to El's natural intimidation vibes.

Oof i love all the delicate injustices and horrors in Liesel's life. Ok no. I no longer do. It's too painful

'“So it’s better to have power, and it’s stupid not to take it when you have the chance.'

Yeah. In fact. If I was Liesel I'd be beyond furious at El. Somebody so gifted, SO powerful, and she's just pissing it all away.

Jezus christ. Jezus christ! Liesel! A sensible person of intelligence????

Oh right. The prophecy. Killing thousands doom destruction. WHO IS GETTING KILLED EL COME ON THINK!!! THINK FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODSDAMNED LIFE!!!!! or tell Liesel about the stupid prophecy and she'll do it for you -_-

It was a nice thought though, letting the commuters into the garden but damn, yeah they're gonna obviously only be enthralled.

A TERTIARY ORDER ENTITY.

LIESEL WAS TRYING TO SNAG EL THE ELDRITCH WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE IS FOR HER HIGHLY EFFECTIVE POWER THROUPLE?

And I mean. Alfie is literally bound to El too. Wait. Is Orion actually not coming back...? Are we never getting answers? El's gonna fall for Alfie and Liesel? No....

Love how Liesel and Alfie protectively jump up and go: OUR entity. Lol

Oh ok so the compulsions off. She doesn't think he'd help her after she saved his dad, his home, oh yeah saved the whole school that he felt responsible for, and didn't even insist on keeping him as a slave.

I must admit, I did not at all expect El to be hanging out with Alfie and Liesel after all that. I thought, more like her team, but yeah they're not exactly in England. Isn't there travelling magic. Also I expect that Claire or whatever had a family member eaten by the mawmouth.

I was thinking that: won't commute from an enclave be really dangerous? So. Yes. But like. Why then even work for them. Oh ok so you could just go live in a villages with a few other wizards in a circle

Sometimes novik is not consistent about the vulnerability of adult wizards. But this description seems more apt.

Liesel coming in to say 'stop it!' to eldritch monster entity El like she isn't going over the deep end suddenly and very badly. And succeeding. And then getting Yancy to say what El wants to know. Wow they're a good team. I propose Orion/El/Liesel/Alfie super extreme power ..... Thing? Uh. Bridge structure?

El seriously is like: hm. Why is Liesel helping me now? Already turned her down....

El. You saved the whole school. You made that possible. You killed three MAWMOUTHS. You treat Liesel like a person you respect. You are a fucking entity who could do incredible things with a whole lot of help on the bits you suck so terribly at. Liesel owes you, thinks you're a good person, and is probably genuinely into you, also you need HELP. In so many damn ways. Being sensible, getting around in the world, being smart, getting it together.

Liesel has the most practical magic in the world. Wait. Holy fuck. Is Liesel like...Hermione???? Like powerful power top Hermione???

Wow. Damn. Amazing sex scene here. It makes me laugh in delight almost. Wow Liesel is an insanely stabilising influence. Literally kissing the trauma out of her head for a bit. (Edit: uh is there a fanfic version of this out there...?)

There was something so absolutely wrong with Orion and everybody kept trying to tell El and she never saw it because he became a person FOR HER. And she keeps trying to blame his family but his family probably endlessly tried to connect with him but he was just hunting mals. His father responding like this- just absolutely devastated over Orion finally having acted like a human being with somebody is enormous proof. Uh yeah and the rest of the chapter confirms this explicitly.

It really is harry potter but cooler and grittier and more horrifying and more interesting. Our dark'ness dementia ravenway.... The bit about how really witches when caught up in the witch hunt really can't get themselves out because the 'mundanes' negate it by the disbelief.... A direct reference to Rowling's note about witches making the fire tickle and going in for multiple rounds. Also the whimsical magic. But it doesn't have that magic to the magic. It's uneasy.

Man. So that's why novik repeated el's misconceptions of Orion in her time of grief. To finally disembowel them conclusively later in this book.

Yeah. The big question is. Why did Orion become a human being for El?

I love how aadhya and Chloe and Liesel are all instantly INSTANTLY like oh fuck El sees evil she's evil. They are still an extremely well oiled team

Ok but like, El could just grab new York's mana pool right. But yeah she'd become like ophelia

Lol right. By destroying so many mals ( i really didn't think the estimation had been 92 percent but ok) the enclaves lose their power. That's how El has already smashed them....

Oh wow. I forgot about that malia is stealing life force.... And mals come from Malia....

Which means.....that Ophelia is a huge maleficar and Orion is a big old mal. But she certainly is smart enough to say: we should look into reproducing what you did

Damn.ophelia is smart. She's really doing some magic economics

I really didn't know enclaves were built on malia. I think that's a retcon actually. Not just that El didn't know though also that naturally. It's to make this numbers game fit - to say - there's another numbers game beneath the numbers game - to make the mana and malia interactions fit. And well done novik for that

Because the golden enclave really does become the better solution.

I'm not sure how El going in to kill patience is going to help her recover the scholomance though. I mean. Turns out El could have just cleaned the whole place up all along but yknow. I already knew that.

Why did they ever even send Orion away. They could have just unleashed him endlessly on the enclave's mals. Probably infinitely safer and more pleasant for the enclaves children.

Is El really going forward with this? His mum is a maleficer oh poor poor hero boy Orion.... He was never loved. HE LOVED THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR THE MALS EL NOT BECAUSE HIS MOM HIS AN ETHICAL EVIL MAGIC HACKER

Oh no...please tell me that isn't Chloe's only role. She came late to the team but she was fourth!

Aadhya??? WHAT is Liesel's deal? Uhhhh she ran the whole thing? She made everything possible? Do you think she did that because she's a steely selfish bitch? No.

It was a moment of both weakness and total insanity in the literal senses of the word. So maybe you can thank Liesel for sexing El back into a somewhat functional state Aad

'Liesel made an impatient dismissive gesture. “Yes! You have a hook in her yourself. And why will we yank on these hooks? To make her protect us, save our lives? She will do that for strangers, for nothing. What else? You are her ally. Have you asked her to do anything for you? To make someone give you an enclave place, or an artificer contract? Why not?Because you are also a great martyr, who does not want these things?” She snorted as Aadhya scowled at her. “No! You don���t ask because you know she would say no. I tried asking myself. But she will do nothing selfish for herself, much less anyone else. And she is not wrong,” she added, in a grudging tone of having been unwillingly persuaded. “She is too powerful. Once she started, there would be nowhere to stop. So there is only one use of our hooks: to help her stop. You had better be glad that I have one, and hold tight to yours, too.”'

I fucking love Liesel. What the fuck

Lololololol

Oh my god. El angry at Liesel AGAIN for....offering exactly what she needs and wants and doing so perfectly. Lolololololloll

Oh my god is this the garden in sintra with all its fun fake-magic masonry caves and structures???

IT IS!!! I LOVE THAT GARDEN!!! If you're just out to chill and stroll and tramp around lovely fake natural structures that still look cool!

Sad the characters are experiencing such frustration in such a lovely place.

Adult Disneyland....you're killing me novik. It really was a nice place. I mean I was there when there weren't many other people. It was just nice gardens with caves.

Novik describes the portalling system for the scholomance. Yes. It still doesn't make any sense.

Ok but like the gardens are closed at night. Mals can get in no problem.

What im getting from this is that i had incredible timing and normally that garden is packed with horrible tourists

So....how is it that El has a direct link to New York's mana pool THROUGH the pool right into the scholomance?? Because all the wards are down? Ok but uhhhhh it's out in the void??? That's the whole point

UHHHH actually El I don't think you felt Patience scrying for Orion you just felt Orion

How the fuck is Liesel like, exactly the sharp cold sense that El actually WANTS every time?

Ohh ok so Ophelia somehow did make Orion as he is. Somehow.

Well OBVIOUSLY the Malia source is fucking horrible if it can bring an enclave into being. Like come on. Probably produces a mawmouth or something. And you gotta feed it 50 people or whateve

Damn. They're gonna turn Liu into a mawmouth. Its a sacrifice. Uh Novik. You better not go there.

Wow they were gonna make Liu a mawmouth and make her eat her closest full grown wizard family? I think so. Lets see. Go El!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE WORST AND MOST POWERFUL MAL? WHAT IS THE GREATEST PIECE OF MAGIC AND MALIA? AN ENCLAVE

fucking hell. They're squeezing Liu into a mawmouth. Fuck.

No..her hand...

When I am very moved by a scene, i read it out, the first time. This was the scene.

Oof. Orion just ate some wizards. Surely he has less deadly weapons???? He really is a mal

Uh

Oh he actually really is a maw mouth mal? He's a fucking maw mouth? Her dads now inside fortitude inside patience inside Orion, still getting endlessly tortured. Uh...

'for all I knew' NO. DEFINITELY YOUR DAD

Well idk he's had pretty good control so far. Just unfortunate those damn Beijing council guys tried to kill El

Aadhya and Liesel going into negotiations as proxies for El who'd absolutely fuck them up lol

What a coincidence! You wanted to go to India. Now youve been invited to India! She gets angry

OH. MY. GOD. El actually learned a lesson. Asking for help. And of the right person. Liesel.

Wait a minute. She's been destroying the enclaves. By destroying the maw mouths. The maw mouths REMAIN the foundation. So those 'random' attacks. They were her destroying the enclave foundations while still on scholomance. They're lined up.

So if she kills this maw mouth - but still, why wouldn't her new foundation hold up. Oh she realises it completely too. Shit. I forgot that Salta and Bangkok simply died. She did that

Well honestly, Orion isn't such a bad solution, except the mawmouths in him don't die and also apparently he can't help himself eat people now....

LIESEL KNEW???????? WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!! SHES EVEN SMARTER THAN ME??????

Then surely there must be a foundation in the scholomance. And perhaps Orion is now carrying the mawmouth that pins it.

What the fuck do you mean this ain't a trolley problem. Just start in on propping up all the damn foundations with some real ones El. Then go on a lil maw mouth hunt

Ok but she doesn't even call her mother. Right. She can't. Forgot. She doesn't even DREAM AT HER MOTHER. Or some other magical communication. Not even about the family welcoming her after all or the true meaning of the prophecy

Actually since when is El capable of just catching others spells. And get mana from them?? Like some sort of scholomance? Oh yeah she s just so horrridly op

She's....catching bullets out of the air. And...turning people into stone temporarily with them. Fucking absolute lol

I get the sense that novik got lost in the Sintra garden... Like multiple times. Which is very hilarious because my god. It is very easy.

So weird to have fond and vague memories of this precise settting

Ok so i was right. And Naomi novik is a little bit of a genius for this. Real Orion, the realest Orion, was the Orion of book 1. The genuine hero. When there were fewer and fewer mals to eat in book 2, he became more and more maw mouth, started behaving strangely.

Oof. Better run El. He's about to start..... Eating.

What a fucking BASTARD. COULD HAVE AT LEAST HELD ON ONTO EL WAS NOT AT LEAST S HUNDRED STEPS AWAY

Damn El people are getting EATEN OVER THERE HELLO STOP FUCKING STALLING

The thing is all this time I've been thinking CANT YOU KILL THE BITS AND NOT THE BOY. KILL THE MAW MOUTH BITS BUT NOT THE BOY? THE BOY ISNT SOME ORGAN THAT CANT BE AUTONOMOUS. YOU COULD SURELY EXTRACT HIM WHOLE BECAUSE HE IS. YOU HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL INDIVIDUALLY REALLY ANYWAY

Oh my god. No

She did something much more

Damn. I remember wishing el would become child guardian in the scholomance but it's true that Orion would also do very well

But he's not getting mana out ...wait. he can still extract mana out of mals he snaps into the void? Uh ok.

That book made a lot of sense. And was very very very good.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Bloody Valentines

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Young Justice 98, Titans, GL Corps, Legion of Super Heroes, Flashfam, New Gods, Shadowpact, Superfam

Summary: 90s vampire slasher AU

Chapters: 9/?

Characters: Dick Grayson, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Charley Parker, Zatanna, Eddie Bloomberg, Daniel Cassidy, Chester Williams DC, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, Lilith Clay, Raven Roth, Kole Weathers, Bette Kane, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, Jenni Ognats, Bart Allen, Virgil Hawkins, Richie Foley, Ayla Ranzz, Zoe Saugin, Rol Purtha, Darla Aquista, Lori Zechlin, Hal Jordan, Helen Jordan II, Orion DC, Lightray DC, Jonathan Lane Kent, Conner Kent, Mia Kent, Roxy Leech, Kara Danvers, Chris Kent, Thara Ak-Var, Match DC, Thaddeus Thawne

Relationships: DickJoey, Daniel Cassidy/Zatanna, DonnaRoy, Jenni Ognats/Virgil Hawkins, Raven/Lilith Clay, Lightrion, MatchThad

Additional Tags: POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator(s), Vampires, No Capes AU, 90s Slasher AU, Homoeroticism, Horror, Slasher

Chapter Nine: The First Blood (Laney's POV)

Kara wanted to take us on a family trip like the El family did in the old country. Mom and Dad were out of town with Jon, so it was my sister, my brothers, their partners, and me. My little brother, Chris’s girlfriend from the Kryptonian cultural club at his high school. They’re old-fashioned, cute high school sweethearts. Sugary-sweet and almost nauseatingly innocent. They’ve been friends since they were twelve, and this is their first real trip as more than friends. I was surprised her parents let her go, but our family was famous back home in Krypton. 

Conner didn’t bring a date, but he did bring Roxy. She saved his life when he needed a kidney a few years ago. Now, Roxy’s our honorary sister. She also happens to be a cop. Or a cop in training. They whispered the whole car ride about something, but I couldn’t hear. It seemed like they were arguing. 

Match came with his weird little blonde boyfriend. He came out to Mom and Dad last year, so we couldn’t judge his partners. Between you and me, I don’t think anyone would mind him dating boys if he didn’t pick such strange guys. Oh… His boyfriend’s name is Thad. And I know we call my brother Match or whatever, but his name is Max. Match is just a nickname. His boyfriend’s given name was Thaddeus. I’m not judging the guy, but he could’ve been more friendly when he met us.

Kara, Mia, and I didn’t bring anyone, which was nice. We took turns driving, but Roxy had to take over for good after sunset. She was the only one who could see in the dense darkness and the rain. The rest of us wore glasses. And in Thara and Chris’s case, they were too young to drive. Roxy wasn’t the safest driver, so I sat in the back with the kids, and they fell asleep on either side of me. I nearly nodded off before Roxy hit something with the station wagon. I heard a whine or a screech, and Conner gasped awake. “What happened?” I asked. 

“Conner, I think I hit something—.” 

“I’m Laney,” I answered. Oh, yeah. Match, Conner, and I are identical triplets. I don’t feel like we’re that identical. Conner always kept his hair curly and had earrings. Match is bulkier than both of us. And me… I almost lost complete sight in my left eye after a fight our sophomore year, so it was duller and weaker than my right one. “What’d you hit?” I was almost angry because it scared me awake. 

“I don’t know. I’ll get out and see—.” 

“It’s pitch black out there. I’ll get out and look,” Conner interrupted. I climbed from the backseat and followed Conner out. Conner covered his mouth and turned away. 

“Don’t throw up,” I warned him. Conner was the most sensitive of the three of us. He cried at movies and lived for the sake of romance while being the coolest of us. But he was no help when it came to things like this. “Conner, look at me. Do not—.” Conner gagged. “Stop.” 

“It’s still alive,” Conner whimpered. 

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Go get Match,” I replied. Conner obeyed. I was the oldest of the three of us. It was me, then Conner, and Match. Match was a surprise. Match got out of the car and gave me a pair of gloves. “What are—?” 

Match put his gloves on and pointed toward the injured animal in the road. I followed him. When we approached the animal, a car stopped in the middle of the road and offered to help. “No, thanks! Can you get around?” I asked. He nodded and got in his car. “Come on, Match. We gotta move this dog out of the road—.”

“No… Coyote,” Match whispered. I took my pocket knife out and shut my eyes. I had to do it a few times before when we were kids. I didn’t like to talk about it. “Laney?” 

“I’m okay. Let’s get it out of the road,” I commanded. We carried it to the side of the road, took off our gloves, and got in the car. Conner glanced at us and pressed his palms to his eyelids. “Don’t you dare throw up in this car.” I didn’t like vomit… Okay? 

“Was it quick?” Conner asked. 

“Yeah. Let’s go,” I answered. Roxy nodded and kept on the path to our cabin. Match and Thad got the master bedroom. The girls shared a room, and I shared a room with Conner and Chris. Our room had three beds, so we didn’t have to share one. I went straight to bed, but the thunderstorm woke me up. Actually… Chris woke me up. He shoved me awake. Chris didn’t mean to be rough. He was always unnaturally strong for a little kid. 

“What’s the matter?” I whispered. 

“Well—. Laney, can I—?” Chris jolted when lightning struck, and I nodded. 

“Get in. It’s okay,” I replied, “It’s alright.” He lay his head on my shoulder, and I kissed his forehead. I wasn’t soft with anyone but him. “Hey, it’s okay. One-one-thousand… Two-one-thousand. Three-one-thousand. Four-one-thousand—.” Thunder and lightning. Chris turned toward me. “It’s alright. Lay down. I’ve got you.” 

Chris scrunched down in the bed. It wasn’t until he closed his eyes that I realized… Conner wasn’t in his bed. “Chris? Christopher? Christopher, where’s Conner?” I asked. 

“I don’t know… Conner was leaving when I woke up,” Chris whispered, “I thought he had to go to the bathroom or somethin’.” 

“Alright… Well, I guess Conner will be back in a little while,” I replied, “Go on. Go to sleep.” 

I lay awake, waiting for Conner. It was almost thirty minutes before Conner returned, soaking wet. “Conner? Conner, what the hell are you doing?” I asked. I was careful not to wake Chris.

“I don’t—.” Conner shivered, and I left the bed to look for a towel to wrap around him. “I don’t remember. Laney, don’t tell anyone, please.” 

“I won’t… Go shower and put something warm on,” I commanded. There was a time when Conner was the confident one. I don’t know what happened to him, but I miss the bubbly person he used to be. He was still the same old Conner to everyone else, but they don’t know him like I do. It’s fake. Something changed when we were teenagers. 

Oh! The sleepwalking. That was new. Conner started climbing out of bed in the middle of the night a few weeks before our trip. We lived together, so I knew his comings and goings. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him because the one thing you don’t want to be in a family with six kids is the kid with issues. To be fair, though… We were born with our fair share of problems. 

No one thought we’d make it when we were born. We were misdiagnosed with a terminal illness, poked and prodded for years until a doctor found out what was wrong. It was rare but treatable… Which meant the years of painful tests and hospital stays were pointless. We came out of it okay, but there was permanent damage for all of us. It messed up my central nervous system, and sometimes I shake. I don’t know why, but I do. Conner’s kidneys were fucked… And Match. He died and came back. He had it the worst. When he was dead, he ended up with permanent brain damage. Or at least we think it’s permanent. Match had years of speech therapy before he could form sentences again… And even then, it’s no more than two or three words at a time. Anyway… I waited for Conner to return from his shower. I made him sleep beside me. I didn’t make a fuss because he was upset, but I insisted quietly. Conner wrapped his arms around my right arm. I wouldn’t have slept if he didn’t.

[number63liveblogs]

The Golden Enclaves, Chapter 9

I found myself feeling protective of El’s choices, here. She can fuck Liesel just for physical release or because she thinks Liesel’s hot, as long as any nonmonogamy is done ethically. And also the Scholomance was an extremely high stress and high stakes environment, and people are often much more pleasant to be around when they aren’t competing over everything and under a tremendous amount of pressure.

But Aadhya is just looking out for El, and jumping straight into a relationship right after the apparent death of her first ever boyfriend, and with someone who’s basically in a political marriage, is not the healthiest pattern, especially when I doubt that Aadhya has noticed El’s physical attraction towards Liesel.

We’re also just about to get answers in the Orion plot. Now, it might be that the answers are going to be that everything is much more complicated than they thought. If nothing else, they’ll have a base to build plans on.

I’m just planting my flag in the “Orion is still alive” camp, and manifesting it true with sheer power of shipping.

(I just hope that the book doesn’t completely derail into a relationship drama if Orion is really alive, there’s still a whole enclave killer to catch.)

[ace-and-ranty]

Once again I would like to tell Balthasar Lake to eat his own dick.

[functionalasfuck]

Orion: *pointing at El* this is my girlfriend

Orion: *pointing at Leisel* this is my girlfriend’s girlfriend

Orion: *pointing at Alfie* and this is my girlfriend’s girlfriend’s boyfriend.

The Malefecaria he’s in a fight with: 👁👄👁

[unopenablebox]

golden enclaves spoilers

i’m mad that they saved orion. like i’m glad she got him back out so she could kill him herself but he should have stayed dead at the end. the middle bits were reasonably interesting and horrible but the ending as is is hideously predictable and unmade all the stakes for el herself. “oh boo hoo now i have to only do half of the important work i care about and my boyfriend works at a boarding school” is not a convincing bittersweet tradeoff

i’m glad she and liu and liesel and aadhya are going around doing infrastructure now but i wish she had kept having irritable no-strings-attached sex with liesel forever

i understand that this is a middle school series but it already almost went there, i think they could have handled it

[whimsyandbooks]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ We find ourselves right back at Scholomance, starting El's senior year, and the School has a whole set of plans in store for her and her unconventional group of wizards. El forms an alliance with Liu and Aadhya, while Orion occupies the not-yet-boyfriend spot with a deal to ignore romance now and explore romance "if we make it out of here alive." Senior year is notorious for being the most perilous, cranking up the danger to prepare students for the treacherous graduation gauntlet. However, this year's schedule springs some surprises on El, and suddenly, she's handed everything she's ever desired, only to discover that maybe she didn't truly want it after all.

El still wrestles with her prickly personality and those maddeningly long inner monologues, but this book had me completely hooked. The groundwork laid in the previous installment, with all its foreshadowing, combined with the faster pacing in most parts of this book, made for a lightning-fast read.

“The Last Graduate” felt swifter because there was less info-dumping through inner monologue to explain the school's intricacies. Don't worry, there were still a few drawn-out moments, but they were far between, and the story's momentum kept me pushing forward to uncover the answers. El's character has become more likable in this second book of the series. It's heartening to see her growth continue, and it carries on throughout the narrative. Despite some people labeling this series as a romance, it plays a minute role, and the book would remain just as compelling without it.

The ending delivers a massive cliffhanger, but it's the kind you see coming from a mile away – not in a negative sense, but in that satisfying, "I love Novik's use of foreshadowing" way. Overall, I found this book even more enjoyable than the first installment, mainly because there was less time spent waxing poetic about the Scholomance's inner workings. I particularly appreciated the character development, not just of El but also her alliance and the rest of the cast. If El's inner voice grated on you in the first book, you might still encounter it here, but rest assured she's grown and is much more relatable now.I currently have a one week wait at the library for the third book “The Golden Enclaves” and it has already become excruciating. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for providing me with this Advanced Reader Copy.

[highmoonpence]

7/10 Imaginative World

This book was interesting to get started. The author writes how the mc thinks and honestly sometimes it was real fast for me. But it’s interesting how she subtly but aggressively makes jibes about how powerful she is.

It takes us into the Scholomance, a school of young magic kin from 13-18 who live in the school all 4 years with no communication with the outside world so they can learn craft. Upon graduation you have to fight your way out the graduation hall to freedom and rejoin the real world. Success rate looks about 50% coming out alive.

Main character, Galadriel, or El, has demonstrations of her intense evil power in the book and their so glossed over. She doesn’t revel in any of it. The maw mouth? Those images of that scene will fill my brain til I can cleanse my mind.

Orion gives off just MC vibes and I really felt the bond form between him and El since their first encounter. I was all for an introduction of romance and I was facepalming how they decided to end things. I was just starting to get those bubbly butterfly feelings for him until that final twist.

Overall for book 2 I’m hoping for El getting some of the recognition she deserves and hopefully a successful graduation with minimal death, and possibly boyfriend?

[o-daintyduck]

Orion didn’t look over at me again, even when he surfaced in between the killing waves; he was too busy. It was just as well, because if he’d looked over at me, I’d have smiled stupidly back at him. I was glad, so glad, even pinned down in this room with all the monsters in the world trying to come at me, at Orion, because it wasn’t despair in his way after all; it was just the clumsiness of learning. He could want other things. I wasn’t the only thing he’d ever want; I was just the first other thing he’d wanted.