#Ellis said eat the rich

[booksandpaperss]

studying for my climate change test like *angry**extremely sad**angry again**sad**kill all cooperations wtf**angry**a little hopeful**wants to cry*

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Young Old Things

I like the thought of a deaged Dan causing a misunderstanding between Danny, Vlad, and the batfam.

TW: sexual assault hinted at

....

Danny, Dan, and Ellie go to see Jazz in Gotham. They've been waiting to "visit" her for weeks since she moved out. Only waiting for her to get a big enough place for all of them. Danny already said he'd share a room with Ellie and Dan, especially now that they found out if she is her true age she'll start to stabilize more permanently with Danny's ecto. Plus, having Dan be the same size helps, or so she says (he might be desperate for a new family and Ellie is trying to help, Danny and Jazz never bring it up in front of him).

The Fenton parents don't know about Danny being Phantom, instead believing that some big ghostly event caused Danny to have a ghost daughter.

And that he tried to clone himself mixed with a ghost to use that body to stabilize her. They may be proud of their scientist son, they are not proud that he won't let them experiment on his ghostly "creations".

Of course they are entirely wrong:

Ellie is one of Vlads' attempts to clone him, the only one that survived.

And Dan is an amalgamation of Danny and Vlad from an alternate timeline. He doesn't know why he's keeping that from his parents. He owes nothing to that scumbag, but Jazz says many victims try to keep their abusers safe from facing consequences. Before Dan was deaged, and much before he met the Fenton parents, he'd pointed out that he'd be scared who his parents would have chosen to believe too.

Jazz gets a full ride scholarship with Gotham U, the Wayne's new massive donation to the psychology department, as well as her well written letter about being the head of her home, helped immensely.

She felt bad using a slightly blurred version of their story to get a good scholarship, but Danny pushed her to go for it.

Hence her, Danny and his 3 year old "twins" were at a gala for the university.

It was being held in the museum after closing hours. The invitation she got had specified that her brother was invited, each with a plus one.

They couldn't exactly get a babysitter for two super-powered toddlers in the city known for hating metas. Besides it wasn't like they had time to get dates anyway.

The night started out fine. There were scholarship students, student council members, some Gotham U staff, and a few rich folk mingling and eating tiny foods that both Ellie and Dan adored.

Ellie fell asleep in Danny's arms almost the second she'd finished eating, and Dan was overly protective of the both of them as always. Of course the dense crowd and constant noise wasn't helping calm him down.

A Wayne, he wasn't sure which one exactly, had brought Danny a plate of food and sat with him as he tried to distract Dan. At first Dan didn't care for him at all, but he mentioned reading about the constellation on Dan's shirt and he loosened up. He never let go of Danny's pant leg though.

The night turned sour when all three's ghost sense went off. There was no immediate threat, but even the Wayne kid noticed them tense and turned to the hallway.

Dan was the first to spot him. "Vad."

"Bad?" The man mimicked.

"He has trouble with his Ls."

"No! I can say Ellie." Dan huffed, poking the side of her sparkly green shoe.

"Vlad, the guy that walked in." Danny said, decidedly looking down into his daughter's sleeping face, squished into his shirt and drooling.

"Vladimir Masters?"

He nodded, before he could continue however Dan spoke up.

"He is bad. He's the reason I was born. And Ellie too." Dan put himself in front of Danny, his little legs going over Danny's feet like a guard dog.

He could see the Wayne's hands tighten into fists, he tapped the inside of his wrist a bit and watched as he squirmed in his seat.

"Hey, Tim." Another dark haired light eyed Wayne and a girl came up to them. "Who's this?"

"Danny, these are my sibilings. Dick and Cass. Guys, this is Danny."

"Hi, nice to meet you Danny. I'd shake your hand but it looks busy." He gestured towards Ellie. As his hand swept nearer, Dan tried to swipe it away. "Oh, and who's this."

"I'm Dan. You can't touch Mommy." His little face contorted into his best toddler attempt at scaring them off.

"I would never do that. No one here would." Dick said as he crouched down to be eye level with his son.

"He would." Dan pointed at Vlad, all three turned to look at the man. Before anyone else noticed, specifically Vlad himself, Danny pushed his arm down.

"Don't point, it's rude."

"He's a rude butt." Danny laughed softly and Dan continued. "It doesn't mater that I'm half of him, I'll never be evil like him." He yawned and laid his face on Danny's leg.

"I think that's enough signs that we should head home. Thank you for talking with me, Tim."

"No problem, it was m-"

Dan grabbed around Danny's legs and whined "I don't wanna gooOOOooo. I want more of the tiny hot dogs."

Danny looked up to see Vlad infront of the food table. The Wayne sibilings followed his gaze "I'm sorry buddy, but-"

Tim stood up, "I'll get you guys a whole mountain of the tiny hot dogs. Why don't you guys wait for me at the door." Ever so softly he heard Tim whisper, "Go with them." To his brother.

"Where are your things? I'll help you get ready." Dick looked around like he didn't know where the coat closet was. He'd probably been to events like this hundreds of times, but Danny appreciated the sentiment.

"Their stroller is at the entrance, I have to get my sister though."

The girl who hadn't said a word hummed and went off, "Cass can find her, I'll help you and we can meet at the entrance."

"Alright, thank you."

It wasn't until they had both kids in the stroller with their coats on and Dan had a bottle of milk (with a lot of ectoplasm in it) that Danny realized he'd never mentioned who his sister was.

Dick waved towrds the end of the hall and saw his sister and the two Waynes he'd met walking with Brucie Wayne himself.

Jazz looked down and pat Cass' hand. "Thank you for getting me."

"Danger." Her voice was soft, but she didn't seem shy like he had expected.

"All four of you seemed to get along well with my kids. Would you like to come by for dinner next week?" Brucie asked as he looked between the four of them.

"I'd love to!" Jazz said enthusiastically. "Would Tuesday ight work?"

Danny could see the gears start to speed up in her head and he huffed a little. "Jazz, I need to get them in bed."

"Right, of course. Thank you again, for everything."

"Tuesday night works perfectly," Brucie Wayne said with a massive smile on his face, "we'll send someone to pick you up. Have a good night."

With that they walked down the ramp and down a few blocks to their two bed room apartment.

"Jazz," She looked over to Danny, "I think they know more than they are letting on."

She lent over the stroller a bit to check if the kids were asleep, before adding, "I agree, I think there is something up with them, but I don't think they're bad."

"Dan was okay with them mostly, and Ellie was fast asleep even with then around."

"I guess we'll just have to find out, then. Besides, it would be good for you to make friends your age and not at the car shop."

"Yeah, alright."

[les4elliewilliams]

❝SHE’S A MANEATER!❞ – 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. 

LOSER!ELLIE ﾒ MEAN!READER

❝OH-OH HERE SHE COMES WATCH OUT, GIRL, SHE’LL CHEW YOU UP!❞

ᝰ.ᐟ ⌞SUMMARY⌝﹕After bumping into you on her first day of college, Ellie spends the entire year captivated by you from a distance. You're everything she could never be—popular, wealthy, and effortlessly alluring, with a perfect, disgustingly rich family to match. Convinced she didn’t stand a chance, Ellie resigns herself to watching from the sidelines. But when her best friend Dina suggests they work at a public pool for the summer, Ellie agrees, hoping to save up some money. What she never expected was to find you there, commanding the space with a magnetic, dangerous charm that pulls her in. Now, Ellie’s summer is about to take a turn she never saw coming, and she’s about to find out just how close she can get to you before it all falls apart.

✶.ᐟ ⌞THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS⌝﹕ approx 10k words⨾ cursing⨾ angst⨾ cheating⨾ reader being a bitch for no reason⨾ 18+ CONTENT (porn with plot)⨾ fingering (𝑒!receiving)⨾ cum eating??⨾ pussy slapping ⨾ thigh riding (r!receiving)⨾ reader is a milf lover⨾ coworker!ellie⨾ dom!reader⨾ fem!reader⨾ player!reader x loser!ellie⨾ jealousy issues⨾ use of names (babygirl, sweetheart, baby, babe, slut/whore, etc...)⨾ lmk if i missed anything!

.ᐟ.ᐟ ⌞AUTHOR´S NOTE⌝﹕ last chapter of part one, finally!! I will start working on the sequel soon (hopefully), I PROMISE there's gonna be a happy ending + an extra drabble/chapter🙄. proofread by @sapphichotmess!!

#.ᐟ ⌞TAGLIST⌝﹕@pick-me-up-im-scared @rew1nds @satellitespinner @boobdrug @ivying @elliewilliamsbelovedwife @mina-281 @hysteriawillnotsuccumb @chxrryvalxntine @bookpagecandlescent @fionaapplelover2010 @andersonslove @macaroni676 @elliesbabygirl @vampcubus @visupremacysstuff @elssaphica @kaykeryyy @nenas19 @rxreaqia @fatbootymuncher @dying-brb @euphoric-rush @intothespidersweb @d1psht

#.ᐟ ⌞CHAPTERS⌝ ↯

˗ˏˋ 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ⋆ 𝐭𝐰𝐨 ⋆ 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖 ˎˊ˗

palestine masterpost ⋆ read this ⋆ daily clicks

31st of August.

Ellie desperately tried to stay away from you, avoiding you like the plague, but her efforts never lasted long. You were too radiant to ignore, too mesmerizing not to be near, and too addictive to avoid speaking to. She was drawn back to you, just like every time she tried to walk away. It wasn’t just a simple matter of having her wrapped around your finger; she was completely captivated by you in body, mind, and soul. You had a hold on her in a way that felt like possessing a voodoo doll made of her hair and personal trinkets. She was as dependent on you as a flower is on water and the moon is on the sun, although the sun never relied on the moon to shine.

The redhead observed you as you conversed with a local customer at the pool, a middle-aged single mother with sleek black hair and icy blue eyes, the reincarnation of Megan Fox—except that Megan Fox was still alive. Her piercing gaze might have intimidated others, but not you. Instead, you smiled warmly and laughed softly as she spoke, your widest smile on full display each time she said something amusing.

Ellie didn’t think too much of it; after all, you were always overly sweet and nice to clients, everyone but her and the people who worked with you—or for you. She didn’t think too much of it until that woman scribbled something down on a napkin from the box on the counter, right beside her elbow, that comfortably rested on the black marble. The woman handed it to you, and the smile she gave you after was less polite. Was this shit even allowed in here?

Ellie wanted to come at you, yell, and fuss at you about it, but she held back. She knew you would brush her off and act like you weren’t knuckles deep inside her sopping hole last night and like she hadn’t been chanting your name like you were the fucking holy Mary herself. You’d treat her like you usually did in public: like you despised her, so she avoided that.

She stood by the deck, Jesse at her side, both enveloped in a serene silence. Unbeknownst to her, his deep chocolate eyes had been studying her attentively. His gaze followed hers, fixing on you, who appeared to be flirting with a woman twice your age.

Ever since Ellie started working here, she had been behaving strangely, a fact that didn’t escape Dina’s notice. Despite Dina’s efforts to point it out, Jesse claimed he couldn’t quite see what she was talking about. The brunette strongly believed that her best friend was keeping something from them, acting mysteriously and evasively about her whereabouts. Ellie always seemed busy whenever they wanted to hang out, and she would never fully explain where she was or what she was up to.

Jesse nonchalantly dismissed the situation, attributing Ellie’s behavior to her quirks. There was some truth to his comment—Ellie often guarded her feelings like an ancient mummy, whatever she was going through. Yet, as he observed the jealousy creeping over her face like an ominous shadow, her previously soft features hardening, he knew. Her airy scoff confirmed his suspicions, prompting him to address the issue directly, not treading lightly around the matter.

“Is it her that you’re seeing?” the Asian asked abruptly, his words filled with pure curiosity. He spoke in a hushed tone, making sure their conversation remained private. Ellie’s heart sank at his direct question, causing her to freeze as her face lost whatever color it had, turning even paler than usual. 

Her first thought was, “Is he going to tell Dina?” and then, “Dina’s gonna kill me,” though the latter was a common affirmation that popped into her mind whenever she messed up somehow. Dina often acted like an overprotective mother every second of the day, always quick to scold and lecture her. Not even Maria did that, and she was the closest thing she had to a mother figure.

As her mind raced with uncertainty, Jesse quickly interjected, seeking to soothe her fears with a reassuring tone, “Not gonna tell anyone, y’know.” he said, his voice soft but resolute, sensing her internal conflict.

She exhaled shakily and murmured a quiet, “Yes.” Her eyes darted away from his, finding solace in the chaotic beauty of the pool filled with kids and families. “But she doesn’t want anyone to know,” she added quickly, her gaze dropping to her lap as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.

“Did she tell you why?”

“She’s not ready, she’s not even out yet,” the anxious girl explained with a huff, reluctantly meeting his eyes again. She could already feel his judgment, knew he’d think she was being naive, and that she should end things before it got worse.

“Is she serious about it?” he couldn’t help but retort, a hint of disbelief in his voice. He’d just seen you flirting with another woman moments ago, the memory fresh and irritating.

“It’s... we’re just hooking up,” Ellie revealed, her voice barely above a whisper.

“So it’s not.”

“No, it’s just too early to say. She said she needs time to—” Jesse’s sarcastic scoff cut her off. She gave him a puzzled look, her brows arching in confusion. “What?”

“You’re not that fucking dumb, are you?” he rhetorically asked, his voice quiet and scolding, careful to keep their conversation private.

“What—I’m not being stupid. She needs time. We talked about it last night—I can’t force her to come out when she doesn’t feel ready. It’s not fair to her.” Ellie’s tone grew defensive, a shield against his skepticism. But she knew he was right. This whole hookup thing wasn’t something she even wanted. 

“Yeah. How long has she been telling you she needs time?” Jesse shot back quickly, his words like arrows, ready to prove his point.

Ellie stayed quiet for a moment, the weight of his question hanging heavy between them. “‘S not like that,” she finally mumbled.

“What is it like then?” he challenged, not missing a beat. “Look—you do you, man. If you’re happy, I’m happy and all that shit. But she doesn’t exactly have a good reputation. She’s gonna break your heart,” he stated with a frustrating certainty.

“You don’t know that,” she snapped back, her voice laced with desperation.

“Neither do you.” A sarcastic chuckle from her friend broke the tension between them. “I really hope you don’t get hurt in the end,” he concluded, getting up and casually strolling away after a few kids who weren’t wearing their swimming caps, his trustworthy whistle in his hand.

Ellie watched him walk away, a rush of conflicting emotions flooding through her. Anger and doubt churned within her as she turned her gaze back to the pool, the cheerful laughter of the children now fading into the background. Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when you sat down on the white plastic chair beside her. “Hey, Nelly,” you said, your tone cool and composed, maintaining your mean-girl facade, especially in the presence of others. Your mask remained firmly in place, a deliberate refusal to show vulnerability. Despite your determination to be different from your parents, who prioritized outward appearances, you couldn’t help but feel like you were following in their footsteps. The apple did not fall too far from the tree.

“Hey,” Ellie greeted, her usually buoyant tone noticeably absent.

You turned to look at her, your eyebrow raising in a perfect arc as you gazed at her inquisitively. “What’s with the attitude?”

The autumn-haired girl found herself unable to shake off Jesse’s words. They reverberated through her mind, planting seeds of doubt and uncertainty. She desperately wished Jesse had misjudged you; he didn’t know you like she did. How could he possibly pass judgment without truly knowing you? Yet, a rational part of her refused to be silenced, urging her to pay heed to those nagging doubts and not to confuse overthinking with intuition.

Ellie’s words slipped out before she could stop herself, her tone accusatory and colder than she intended. “What’s with that woman who just gave you her number?”

You looked back at her in surprise, and your lips formed an “oh” before you quickly offered a plausible excuse. “Babysitting.”

“Babysitting?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she locked eyes with you, her expression oozing with skepticism. “Since when do you even babysit?”

“It’s always been something I’ve done,” you replied, unfazed by her doubt.

“Sure, like you really need the extra cash,” she quipped, still skeptical.

“I really do. I can’t keep relying on my parents for everything,” you calmly asserted. There was no hint of defensiveness in your voice; you spoke with a sense of certainty, that it made her feel stupid for questioning your commitment, but she didn’t let it show. 

“Okay,” she sighed out, her shoulders slumping as she exhaled, feeling the weight lift off her shoulders.

“Are you coming to the beach tonight? There’s going to be a campfire and free drinks,” you asked, propping your elbows on the arms of the plastic chair as you leaned back, smirking in her direction.

“Yeah, gonna see you there?” the freckled girl inquired with a touch of optimism reflected in her expression. The sun beamed down on her, highlighting her green eyes, making them appear even more vibrant and clear.

“Of course, you’re going to see me there.” your smile grew wider as you replied.

And she did see you there, locked in a passionate kiss with some nameless guy on a bench. 

Ellie’s heart splintered into thousands of fragments. It felt as if her insides plunged deeper than the Titanic, the weight of her emotions pressing them down. Despite the overwhelming urge to scream and cry, she found herself unable to produce any sound. Her eyes remained dry, failing to well up with the salty tears that typically accompanied emotional pain. The sea wind tousled her auburn hair, leaving a faint, familiar saltiness behind. Her skin was ablaze, and her stomach churned with disgust, threatening to expel its contents. 

Everyone had warned her about you, and they had been right all along.

You didn’t give a damn, you never did. Were any of the sweet words you whispered to her even true? Was she just one of many? Ellie’s mind was a whirlwind of endless questions, most of them rooted in self-doubt. She wasn’t good enough for you, she’d never been. She was never going to measure up to your standards, to your expectations. She was never enough. You were flawless, admired, it only made sense that someone like you would never genuinely desire someone like her. Why would you? She wasn’t attractive, wealthy, or widely liked. She was just an unremarkable, tangled mess of poor humor and peculiarities. You, however, were a living Greek god, cruelly playing with her mind, and shamelessly taking more and more of her, each time she gave you everything she had to offer.

It felt as if Cupid himself had conspired against her, allowing her to experience and savor something that would never belong to her. Unbeknownst to her, even something as lovely as a lily, one of the most exquisite blossoms, could conceal danger beneath its pink velvety petals. She was like a curious cat, irresistibly drawn to the intrigue and allure of the forbidden flower, unaware of its poisonous nature.

3rd of September.

The following days were plagued with ignored phone calls and messages left on read. Ellie had given you the cold shoulder; her silent treatment was supposed to be a form of punishment, but it didn’t last long. 

You explained everything, saying it was a misunderstanding, revealing that the guy named Jason had kissed you without your consent and that you had forcefully pushed him away. Ellie left hastily, missing the part where you had angrily stormed off after rejecting his advances. 

The auburnette felt a wave of reassurance, knowing that she was the only one for you, that your eyes were solely for her. She trusted you wholeheartedly.

And you were back in her life, in her house, in her bed, between her thighs. 

Your spit drenched her aching core, cascading over her engorged clit, the pink throbbing bud begging for your attention. The sight of her slick, swollen folds will never stop driving you crazy. Put on display for your eyes only, as sweet as the ripest fruit. Her pussy quivered beneath your gaze, and a sharp slap to her wet cunt echoed through the room, making her whimper, her hips stuttering and jerking, eyes flashing open to meet yours. “Look at this pussy… so fucking messy, baby,” you purred, a wicked grin curling at the corners of your lips. The look in your eyes was one of an insatiable beast, ready to take away from her once again.

“Stop fuckin’ teasing me,” Ellie whined, her hips bucking frantically against the warm palm nestled on her throbbing core. Her breath hitched as your thumb danced with her arousal, teasing her sensitive clit.  “Can’t take it anymore,” she choked out. Desperation began to etch itself into her captivating features as her fluffy, scarred brows contracted together. This subtle expression only seemed to heighten her already striking appearance, adding a sense of vulnerability that made your head spin. 

“Hm... Quit acting like a brat and hold still for me,” you spat, your gaze locked onto hers, “Beg for it, and I might just give it to you.”

Ellie’s heart hammered in her chest at your authoritative tone, her body responding instinctively to your dominance. A shiver coursed through her spine, and a flush of heat spread across her cheeks. She bit her lip, trying to hold still and control the urge to squirm under your touch, her breathing growing shallow with anticipation and need.

Her voice cracked as she begged, “Please.” One of her hands reached out, desperate to grab your free hand. But the freckled girl’s weak pleas met deaf ears; it wasn’t enough for you, she could do better. Her moss-green eyes pleaded with you as she watched your thumb trace small circles on her hip, keeping her in place.

Your lips brushed against the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs, teasing her mercilessly, your touch intentionally calculated to drive her wild. You knew exactly how to play your cards right, how to play her like a finely tuned instrument, and it amused you how easy it was to reduce her to a quivering, whiny mess. But you relished in her simplicity, in how the smallest actions could ignite such a strong reaction from her.

“Please,” Ellie’s breaths came in small, shuddered gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly with each inhale and exhale. Her mind was filled with nothing but you and how you made her feel. “Please, please, I missed you.” Her words’ raspy, vulnerable tone was like music to your ears, pleasing your ego at the knowledge that she depended on you, that she was putty in your hands. Her vulnerability only highlighted how completely she was under your control, and the feeling was flattering and exhilarating. The auburnette submitted to you so easily, without questioning it or fighting back; it was cute, really. She let you play with her body however, whenever, and wherever you liked.

“Missed me, yeah?” You smirked at her, your voice dripping with confidence as you cooed softly. 

Ellie didn’t even need to confirm it to you. You could see how much she had missed you, how much she had craved your touch and sweet lies. The freckled girl melted in your arms the second you drove to her house after hours of begging to see you. She needed to see you, needed to feel you, kiss you, touch you. Her heart skipped a beat as her gaze met yours, your eagerness for her evident in every line and muscle of your body. She felt wanted, desired, and important whenever she was in your presence, and the feeling was addictive. Perhaps that was what she loved the most about being with you—the feeling of being so completely desired, so utterly needed. She found herself questioning if anyone had ever made her feel this way before. Certainly not her ex-girlfriends (or situationships); they paled in comparison to how you made her feel. You had the ability to make her feel like a teenager in love for the first time again, like a virgin exploring uncharted territory.

“Couldn’t get off without your help,” Ellie’s voice was soft and vulnerable as she confessed her weakness for you, the pout on her face almost making your heart lurch.  

“Such a fucking needy slut,” You chuckled dryly, your eyes focused intently on her, drinking in her every reaction as if she was the most fascinating thing you’d ever seen. She was sprawled out before you, all spread out and vulnerable, her core glistening with arousal and your spit, begging for your touch, yet not giving her what she craved the most.

“Please, I need you.” She pleaded one last time, her voice soft and desperate, her body trembling as your thumb began to tease her aching bud. A stifled moan escaped her lips as the pleasure washed over her, causing her to gasp in response. 

“You all good up there?” You taunted her, struggling to contain a small chuckle at her frustration. Her freckled face was flushed, her cheeks tinted with a blush that betrayed her embarrassment. You had barely even touched her, and yet she was already losing her shit, her body responding eagerly to your every caress. 

“Yeah, just…” The auburnette’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, trying with all her might to hold back the lewd noises that threatened to escape. 

“Just?” you prompted, your fingers continuing to move over her sensitive folds, feeling her slickness. You began to rub at her entrance, making her squirm and moan; she had been craving your touch and attention so much that it almost made her insane. “Fuck, look at you, baby girl.” you husked under your breath. “So needy for me.” It was downright lewd how drenched Ellie was for you, her pink pussy glistened with pearly precum, making your mouth water at the sight. It was like homemade chocolate chip cookies, the kind that could make anyone salivate, especially when they were still warm and the aroma of sweetness filled the air. She had the same exact effect on you. She tasted exquisite, and you just couldn't get enough, always craving more of her, just like she craved more of you.

Ellie’s breath hitched as your middle finger teased her entrance, moving painfully slow. She could tell you were doing it on purpose. You were never known for your patience, but you were taking your sweet time with her, making her feel every little movement. The sensations were overwhelming, and she knew you were doing it intentionally to drive her crazy. “M-more… nghh… fuck.” Her back arched in response, her hand gripping yours tightly as she desperately tried to push her hips further down onto your fingers.

Your eyes were glued to her starved cunt and the way your finger disappeared into her so easily, swallowing it shamelessly; her warm walls pulsated around your digit, and tiny, little puffs of breath escaped her lips as she struggled to hold herself together. Every breath she took strained with the effort to keep herself composed, her face a beautiful contradiction of desire and restraint. 

“You weren’t lying, huh? You really did miss me.” You chuckled, amused, the circles on her clit growing faster as your finger moved slowly in and out of her, maintaining a steady, teasing rhythm. 

“I wasn’t,” Ellie said breathlessly, as if a powerful force had drained all the breath away from her. 

You smirked at her confirmation; she depended on you as much as you depended on every little sound she let out for you, urging you to go on. It was what replayed in your head whenever you finger-fucked your own needy hole, clenching her name around your fingers. You had missed her so much. You missed the feeling of her cunt spasming around your fingers, the high-pitched and persistent mewls that came with her impending orgasm, the arch of her back, her abdomen tensing and contracting whenever you fucked her way too fast for her to keep up.

“What about the nudes I sent you, hm?” you questioned, your voice as soft as cotton, caressing all her senses like some melody that haunted her every dream.

Her breaths came in shallow gasps, each one a plea, a prayer for more. The sight of the freckled girl—so vulnerable, so open—stirred something primal within you. You watched how her body responded to your touch, how her skin flushed and her muscles tensed under your fingertips. The slick heat of her, the way she pulsated around your finger, was intoxicating. 

Ellie remembered the late nights, alone in her bed, your photos lighting up her screen. The way she’d trace the curves of your body with her eyes, imagining her hands in their place. The way she’d whisper your name, a litany of desire, as she plunged her fingers into her own wet heat, pretending it was you. But even then, it wasn’t enough. 

Those fantasies paled in comparison to reality. 

“Fucking slut… did you touch yourself thinking of me?” you murmured, your voice a low purr that sent shivers down her spine. “Did you imagine my fingers inside you, like this?”

Her response was a choked moan, her hips rocking against your hand, seeking more. You pressed a kiss to her thigh, your breath hot against her skin, savoring the way she writhed under your touch. 

She gasped as you added another finger, complying with her silent request for more. “Needed m- ahhh… more than—” words failed her as you began to pump them in and out of her faster, her legs twitching each time you brushed that spongy spot inside her just to make her little brain go blank. What a brainless fucking whore.

“Than what? Finish your sentence, sweetheart. What do you need from me?” Your voice was a perfect and deadly mix of sultriness and honey sweetness.

“Needed you to fuck me,” Ellie’s voice turned whiny and high-pitched, sounding like she was about to cry. She sighed complacently when you slammed your fingers deeper inside her in response. She had truly been trying to get off to your pictures, your tits out of your black lacy bra for her to see, but it wasn’t enough. All she could think about was the aching absence of your touch and how desperately she longed to lay her dirty hands on your sacred body. It hit her then that she was utterly ruined, unable to get off without your assistance anymore; you had thoroughly spoiled her and her body, and her mind had been reprogrammed to crave you for every desire, however big or small. 

“Like this, yeah?” A frenetic nod was all you got in return. Your glistening fingers continued their relentless movements, and your thumb flicked her puffy clit.

Each pump drew a curse from her. Her breaths were shallow gasps punctuated by moans that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. You could feel her inner walls contracting around your fingers, her slick heat enveloping you in a way that made your own core ache. 

“Fuck… close?” Her response was a breathless sob, freckled body arching off the bed as her orgasm built, a storm gathering strength. You could see it in the way her muscles tensed, the way her breaths came faster, more erratic.

“Please,” she begged, barely more than a breathy whisper. “Please, I need—”

“I know, baby. I know.” Your thumb circled her clit with a newfound intensity, your fingers curling inside her just right, hitting her g-spot with precision. “Come for me.”

The auburnette’s eyelids fluttered shut and her head fell back into the soft embrace of her light blue pillow. You marveled at the expression of blissful ecstasy dancing across her face, watching her lips form incoherent words that echoed through the room. With a final, shuddering cry, she came apart, her body shaking with the force of her orgasm. Her inner walls pulsed around your fingers, her juices coating your hand as you worked her through it, drawing out every last bit of pleasure, making every moment last longer, leaving her wholly spent and utterly satiated.

When all her nectar coated your fingers, you gently withdrew your digits, eager to taste her. The taste was rather divine, like nothing you had ever tasted, a taste uniquely hers. Something you couldn’t quite find anywhere else. “You taste delicious,” you commented with a sly smile.

Ellie was winded and her face glistening with a sheen of sweat, dilated pupils fixing on yours as she tried to catch breath, her parted lips letting puffs of air in and out, unevenly. “Do I?”

“Hmm-hmm,” you hummed, crawling on top of her and settling into her lap. She lazily wrapped her arms around your waist, her damp, freckled back sticking against the headboard as she sat up slightly. The soft sheets rustled beneath you, adding to the moment’s intimacy.

Your eyes locked, an intense connection sparking between you. Ellie’s gaze seemed to drown in your irises, captivated by every little sparkle, every shade and discolored spot. A stupidly soft smile spread across her face, as if she were staring at the most precious thing in her life. The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this shared bubble of affection.

“You’re so pretty, y’know that?” Her voice was like a gentle whisper, with a hint of raspiness as she delicately tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. Her touch sent a shiver down your spine.

You hummed at her words, a playful smirk curling your lips. “Yeah, I get that quite a lot.”

The auburnette scoffed in mock disbelief, her brows arching dramatically. “Oh really? Who dared to compliment my girl, hm?” Feigning jealousy, she pulled you closer by your waist. “Gonna have to beat them up,” she muttered sarcastically under her breath, her tone light and teasing.

You couldn’t help but giggle softly, the sound mingling with the moment’s warmth. Ellie’s playful protectiveness only made your heart swell more, and you leaned in, your foreheads touching. 

She pulled you flush against her, your bare chest sticking to hers, the sweat covering her body almost acting as a glue binding you together. Her face nestled into the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your scent as she closed her eyes, leaving a trail of soft kisses along your skin.

“Hmm… what’re you doing?” you whispered, melting into her touch.

“Tryna make you feel good—can’t I make my favorite girl feel good?” Her voice was a hushed murmur against your neck, a blend of warmth and affection. A small, breathy laugh was all you could manage in response, tilting your head slightly to give her better access. Her hands wandered up and down your sides, leaving a tingling path in their wake.

“You sure your dad won’t be home anytime soon?” you asked, a hint of nervousness lacing your voice as you tried to pull away. Each time you leaned back, she’d draw you closer, unwilling to let go.

“He won’t be until tomorrow,” she muttered between the kisses she peppered along your neck, “Relax and let me take care of you.” Her lips slowly trailed up your jaw, finally capturing yours in a sweet, lingering kiss, pouring all her feelings into it. Her hands pulled you close with a hunger that spoke of a desire to absorb you, to make you a part of her very being.

Your eyes fluttered shut, arms wrapping around her neck as you lost yourselves in the kiss.

One of your hands found its way to her little bun, fingers playing and gently tugging at it. The kiss was slow and tender, a stark contrast to the usual fervor you shared. It felt as if the world around you had shifted, the atmosphere turning more intimate, echoing the same familiar yet foreign sensation that had enveloped you that afternoon in the shower.

A moan reverberated against the freckled girl’s lips, resonating like a tender symphony, compelling her to savor its melody, to capture it and make it her own. Yet, an insatiable yearning gnawed at her core, craving something deeper, something beyond the mere physical.

When you parted, breathless and hearts pounding in synchrony, the connection between your gazes transformed the moment into an eternal tableau. 

“Will you let me take control this time?” Ellie mumbled, her voice soft as silk, her words a delicate caress that brushed against your senses like the first light of dawn. A smile played on her perfect, heart-shaped lips, a subtle curve that promised both mischief and tenderness.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re a pillow princess,” you teased, a smirk tugging at your mouth, the playful jab rolling off your tongue with ease.

Ellie’s eyes sparkled with amusement, softly gasping as if you’d just said the most outrageous thing. "I am not!" she protested, her jaw dropping in a show of mock indignation, though the laughter in her eyes gave her away.

“Are so,” you shot back, not missing a beat.

She shook her head, a pout forming as she defended herself, her voice laced with a mix of defiance and a touch of longing. “You never let me take control,” she countered, eyebrows arching as she tried to make her point.

“As if you’ve ever tried,” you quipped, your smirk widening, knowing exactly how to push her buttons.

“I did try, you just never let me,” she insisted, her tone soft yet pointed, like she was stating an undeniable truth. “You always push me down and do whatever,” she added, her words tinged with just the right amount of accusation.

“Maybe you didn’t try hard enough,” you challenged, the playful edge in your voice unmistakable as the banter continued to flow between you, each word filled with barely contained desire.

Her brows shot up, eyes gleaming with the thrill of the challenge. “Oh, is that so?” Ellie smirked, accepting the unspoken dare. Without missing a beat, she shifted you onto her thigh, her hands firm but gentle as she guided you, ensuring that her thigh was perfectly placed between your own.

“Is that it? You want me to ride your thigh?” you chuckled, a playful glint in your eyes as the absurdity of the situation hit you, making you bite back a laugh.

“C’mon, cowgirl, show me your moves,” she teased, her tone lighthearted, yet there was an undeniable heat beneath her words. Her hands guided your hips, encouraging you to move against her, the friction deliciously teasing, her comical words pulling a soft laugh from you.

“Cowgirl?” you echoed, amusement threading through your voice as your hands found their place on her shoulders for balance. Slowly, you began to move, a back-and-forth rhythm building, her toned thigh pressing against your most sensitive spot.

“Well, I don’t have a strap yet, so…” the redhead offered with a playful shrug, her nonchalance almost comical in its delivery.

“Yet?” you repeated, your eyebrow arching as curiosity piqued, the simple word holding a world of possibilities.

“Mhm, yet,” she confirmed with a sly smile, her hands tightening on your hip bones, pressing you down onto her thigh with just the right amount of pressure. The heat of her skin against your wetness sent a shiver up your spine, her own breath hitching at the intimate contact. 

That’s why she never took control—because, as much as she wanted to, you made her weak in the knees, her heart race, and her breath catch in her throat. 

As you rocked against her, a muffled whimper escaped your lips, a sound she drank in like the sweetest melody, and for a moment, the room was filled with nothing but your breathless sighs, your shared laughter, and the electric tension between you, growing hotter with every passing second.

“Does it feel good, yeah?” Ellie whispered, her face so close to yours that your breaths mingled, a shared warmth in the small space between you.

“Yeah, you feel good,” you murmured back, her green eyes utterly captivated by the rhythm of your hips as they rolled against her. You didn’t need her to guide you, every movement was instinctual, as natural as breathing. Her breath caught in her throat, almost as if she were the one trying to get off on your thigh, mesmerized by the glistening trail you left behind. 

“Fuck, look at that,” she breathed out, her voice thick with awe and desire.

Immaculate mewls spilled from your lips as her hands tightened on your hips, urging you to move faster, her fingers digging into your skin like she never wanted to let you go. “Just like that… atta girl,” the red-brown-haired girl encouraged, her words a soothing balm that only stoked the fire burning in your belly.

You leaned into her, your breasts pressing against her chest, your face nuzzling into the crook of her neck, seeking her out like a lifeline. Ellie responded in kind, her lips finding the beauty marks on your shoulders, kissing them as if tracing an invisible constellation only she could see. Your breathy moans, warm and desperate, hit the back of her neck, sending shivers cascading down her spine, weakening her resolve with each shaky exhale.

“You feel so good,” you purred in her ear, your voice sweet yet intoxicating, like honey laced with something dangerous. Your breath tickled that sensitive spot behind her ear, goosebumps erupting on her skin as butterflies danced wildly in her stomach. Feeling your heat seep into her, feeling you so close, so alive against her—she knew she’d never get enough of you.

“So does your pussy... all wet for me,” she rasped out, pulling you even closer, as if trying to merge your bodies into one. Your ragged breathing was like music to her ears, each pant and whimper a testament to how perfectly she was taking care of you. You continued to grind against her thigh, the tension in your lower abdomen coiling tighter with each roll of your hips, your clit moving in a maddening rhythm that made you whimper against her freckled skin.

“Fuck…” you breathed out, the word slipping from your lips like a prayer. “All wet for you,” you echoed absentmindedly, the urgency in your movements growing, driven by the mounting pressure, each second pulling you closer to the edge. Your fingers tangled in her red hair, tightening as your eyes fluttered shut, your breaths growing more erratic. 

Watching you ride her like this was the hottest thing Ellie had ever seen. It made her pulse quicken and her thoughts spiral into fantasies—fantasies of you riding her strap instead, making you tremble like a leaf, scream her name in ecstasy. She wondered if your sinful moans and cries would haunt her dreams every night; it seemed like a plausible fate.

“Mine… alllll mine,” she murmured in your ear, her hands tracing your sides with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment, holding you as if you were something precious and fragile, something that could shatter at any moment. 

Your soft gasps were like a tantalizing torture, making her sage-hued eyes roll back in bliss. You were so addictive, and she was like an addict, desperate for every sound, every breath you gave her. “Hmm, yeah,” you whispered breathlessly back, your voice mindless yet so full of emotion, causing her heart to flip and twist in ways she never thought possible.

Ellie gently cupped your chin, turning your face toward hers, never once stopping the hypnotic roll of your hips. Her thumb pressed lightly against your chin, holding you there, your eyes locked onto hers, sharing a silent conversation only the two of you could understand.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” she husked, her words like a spell, and you were powerless against them. Your gaze fell to her lips, mesmerized by the way they formed each tender word. She leaned in, kissing you softly but with a passion that ignited every nerve in your body. It was strange and new, yet it felt like something that was always meant to happen. 

Her freckled arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, and your arms looped around her neck, holding her as if letting go would mean losing everything. Your hips never stopped moving, the rhythm growing more frantic, your ragged breaths mingling, creating an orchestral piece of pure, unfiltered desire.

And then, the tension inside you snapped, sending shockwaves through your body. It was an explosion, not just of pleasure, but of everything Ellie had tried to keep buried, every emotion you had stirred up in her. You pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air, both from the intensity of your climax and the kiss that had stolen your breath away. Your damp foreheads pressed together, her eyes boring into yours, one of her hands trailing over your body, touching you with a familiarity that sent shivers down your spine.

“Fuck, Ellie…” Your voice cracked and trembled, a raw, visceral expression of the overwhelming pleasure that had just consumed you.

“I love you.” Three words, so simple and yet so difficult to say out loud. Ellie hadn’t realized she’d let them slip out until your movements halted, a look of confusion veiling your face. 

The sound of heavy breathing—the aftereffects of your activity—filled the room. You were still trying to recover, your body still trembling with euphoria, and the words had become lost in the maelstrom of the intense orgasm. Ellie’s heart felt like a wild animal, a gazelle on the plains of the Serengeti, drumming relentlessly against her ribcage as she waited for your response, anxiously anticipating what you would say next, the tension in the air thick like the humidity in a dense rainforest.

“What?” You asked the question in a meek, quiet voice, your breathing harsh and labored. It was as if life had drained from your face, leaving only a shell of shock and disbelief behind. 

There was absolute silence in the air, everything frozen in that moment. Ellie couldn’t even hear her heartbeat; it felt like time had come to a standstill. Everything seemed to move either unbearably slowly or excruciatingly fast, leaving her overwhelmed and out of control.

“Uh… I—” Ellie’s words stumbled and stuck in her throat as she tried to repeat the three simple words again. She could feel a palpable shift in the air around you, a barrier going up between you despite your physical closeness. 

For a brief moment, vulnerability flickered across your face, your eyes bare and exposed to her gaze, as though you had let your guard down and allowed her to see through you. But the mask quickly returned, your features hardening once more. You slowly withdrew from her thigh, sitting beside her instead, exhaling deeply, a look of disbelief etched on your face. The cinnamon-haired girl watched as your lips parted and your eyelids fluttered shut, knowing that you were trying to make sense of her confession and formulate a response. She held her breath, hoping you would tell her that you felt the same, that you longed for a serious relationship and were ready to take that next step together. But the words that slipped out of your mouth were the opposite of what she was expecting, leaving her heart sinking in her chest.

“I can’t.” Your head shook slightly, a nonverbal “no” that sent a shiver down Ellie’s spine. Her heart plummeted, as though it had leaped off the edge of a towering cliff only to smash into a million pieces upon impact. Her eyes widened in disbelief, and the air was knocked from her lungs as the reality of your rejection sank in. 

“Can’t what?” Her voice sounded hoarse and strained as she somehow managed to speak, her forest-green eyes clouded with the beginnings of tears as she fixated on your bare back, watching with trepidation as you quickly and almost frantically dressed, one piece of clothing after another being pulled on.

Your body momentarily froze as you searched your mind for the right words, an explanation to fill the terrible silence. But you came up empty, your mind consumed by a rising panic, numbing your thoughts and leaving you speechless. You spoke in a cold, sharp voice, your back still turned towards her, “Do this.” The air between you was heavy with tension and despair, your emotional state written clearly on your face, even if she couldn't see it directly.

“Wha- I... but…” Ellie struggled to articulate her thoughts, her mind grappling with conflicting emotions and confusion. Each attempt to form a coherent question or sentence ended in a frustrating tangle of words. The powerful connection that had enveloped her just moments before had vanished, leaving her bewildered and lost in its absence. How was a shift like that possible? Did you not feel it too?

“I don’t understand,” Her voice quivered and cracked as she forced the words out, her body rigid and her muscles tense as she fought to keep the tears at bay. She knew she couldn’t show any vulnerability in front of you, couldn’t let you see how much this was hurting her. Maybe it was just fear getting in the way, maybe there was still a chance for her to sway your decision by talking it out, to make you change your mind. The freckled girl couldn’t shake the feeling that she was trapped in a surreal nightmare, as if none of this was real. She had just bared her soul to you, trusted you with her innermost thoughts and feelings—things she had never shared with anyone else—and now she was consumed by a sense of violation, as if she had exposed too much of herself and in doing so, made herself vulnerable and annoying. She felt disgusted with herself, like she had crossed a line and done something wrong, leaving an acrid taste in her mouth.

“It can’t work,” Your voice was calm, detached, and filled with distance. The redhead watched as you pulled on your shirt, your gaze fixed on the wall of her room, where wrinkled space posters hung. Your composure was icy and uncaring, as if you had been waiting impatiently for the right moment to destroy the fragile bubble of illusion she had constructed with your lies. 

Her eyes roamed your face, searching desperately for a trace of the affection she had felt before, but all she saw was an emotionless mask. Her mind whirled, trying to make sense of the abrupt shift in your demeanor. Every ounce of her being longed to reach out and pull you back, to force you to see what you were throwing away. But she was paralyzed, rooted in place by the weight of your words. She had bared her soul to you, and now she was left exposed, raw, and broken.

The silence in the room thickened, growing heavy and oppressive like a massive storm cloud preparing to let loose. It was a stifling stillness, pressing down on both of you, forcing the air from your lungs and leaving each breath shallow, each word unspoken, lost in the thick atmosphere. Ellie’s forest-green, glassy eyes flicked to you, a desperate pleading in her gaze, like a sailor stranded at sea hoping to spot a flicker of a distant lighthouse, a guide through the dark waters of her impeding breakdown. But your gaze remained distant, fixed on a horizon only you could see, your movements deliberate, devoid of the tenderness that once made her believe in the magic between you.

“…Why?” Her voice was delicate and fragile, barely audible above a whisper. It trembled like a leaf in the wind, “Why can’t it work? We’re so good together. I thought—”

“Oh, please.” The venom in your voice lashed out, sharp and biting, each word dripping with contempt. “Don’t act like you don’t know. This was never supposed to be anything serious. You should have known better.” The words left your lips with a hollow ring, the warmth that the auburnette once craved in your voice now frozen over, an icy detachment that chilled her to the bone.

Tears gathered and spilled over in her eyes, creating a blurry haze that distorted the world around her and your form. The room seemed to whirl before her as her heart crumbled under the burden of your apathy. She struggled to comprehend how you could be so careless. “But-” Her voice faltered, a delicate whisper that fractured under the pressure of the painful reality she found herself grappling with. You had ensnared her like a tarantula, trapping her in an intricate web of deceit and manipulation from which there seemed to be no escape.

You sighed, the sound heavy with impatience, rolling your eyes as if the sound of her heart breaking was nothing more than an inconvenience. “God, Ellie, do you really not get it? It was just sex. Fun while it lasted, but nothing more. I can’t believe you got so attached.” Your words were sharp like swords, each one slicing through the fragile, translucent dreams she had so painstakingly woven around you, leaving deep, bleeding gashes in the delicate fabric of her hopes and illusions. She had been so stupid. “Just a summer fling, an experiment,” You added casually, your tone flat and uncaring.

Ellie’s heart crumbled further, the sharp edges of your words cutting deeper than she ever thought possible. Each syllable felt like salt combined with the strongest alcohol ever on an open wound, the reality of your apathy sinking in. “You don’t mean that,” She pleaded with you, her words carrying the weight of desperate hope, as if grasping onto a rope that could keep her from drowning in the harsh reality. “We were so good together. I felt it. I know you did, too.”

Your lips curled into a sneer, a cruel twist that mocked her naivety. “You really are naive, aren’t you? There was never anything between us, Ellie. I was just bored, and you were convenient,” you scoffed, the derision in your voice felt like a kick in her stomach, the emotional pain becoming physical. “And easy, you were so easy… and so fucking gullible.” The smirk that followed was a bitter slash across her soul, a cruel reminder of how carelessly you had toyed with her emotions. Of how carelessly you had toyed with plenty of people before her. This was a mere game to you, and you couldn’t give two fucks of all the broken pieces you always left behind. 

How could someone so incredibly beautiful and captivating exude such emptiness within? 

Salty tears streamed down her freckled cheeks, her chest tightening with a tumultuous mix of heartbreak and disbelief. The weight of your betrayal felt like a ton of bricks, crushing the hope she had clung to so desperately. You had never been any different from what the others claimed. “But I love you,” she repeated, her voice cracking under the strain of her agony. “Does that mean anything to you?”

You laughed, a sound lacking any warmth or joy, more like the cold echo of a cavernous emptiness inside you. “Honestly? No, it doesn’t. Did you think this was going to turn into some grand romance? Come on, grow up.” It shocked the auburnette how you could effortlessly shift from being warm and kind to completely cold and unsympathetic. It was like watching you switch personalities as easily as changing costumes in a theater, all to your convenience. Adapting and shapeshifting to your liking. “Love doesn’t exist. It’s just a fairytale for people who can’t handle reality.”

Ellie shook her head as if trying to shake off the unfiltered reality you were laying before her, throwing at her in such a callous manner that it left her breathless. Tears cascaded down like a relentless downpour, drenching the delicate, freckled canvas of her flushed cheeks. She held on desperately to the fading remnants of what she believed to be true, “I—I thought we had something real,” She was barely whispering, her voice fragile and on the verge of completely breaking down. Her bottom lip quivered, and that pouty expression on her face tugged at your heartstrings, making it hard to go through with this. But you knew it was something you had to do. It was necessary.

“You thought wrong,” you said with a dismissive wave of your hand, as if casting aside a trivial matter. “And if you had any sense, you’d have figured that out by now. Get real. I never promised you anything beyond what we had.”

Ellie stood up, her legs trembling as she tried to steady herself against the emotional hurricane tearing through her. “I trusted you. I opened up to you. And now you’re just discarding me like I’m nothing?”

You nonchalantly lifted your shoulders in a dismissive gesture, causing her stomach to clench as if the bond you once shared was now as inconsequential as a discarded piece of trash carried away by the wind. “I didn’t ask you to fall for me.”

She stared at you, her eyes desperately searching yours for any trace of the person she thought she had come to understand, but you weren’t there. “I thought you were different.”

“Well, I’m not. I never claimed to be something I’m not.” Your heartrending words landed the critical strike, causing her to lock away her pain deep within. It festered there, leaving behind deep, ugly scars. She wondered if she would ever be able to heal from the emotional wounds you inflicted. Not even when she broke up with her ex-girlfriend, Cat, did she feel this way. 

“You know what?” Ellie’s voice quivered with raw emotion, yet remained steadfast and resolute. The ache in her heart was gradually being consumed by a smoldering, intense anger, “You’re right. I should have seen this coming. But don’t you dare pretend like you didn’t play a part in this. You let me believe something that wasn’t real.” Her voice quivered with emotion, the barely contained anger struggling to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to engulf her beautiful moss-colored eyes once more. “You said you needed time, that eventually, you’d feel ready to…” She halted mid-sentence, realization sinking in. The promises she had once clung to, the words you had whispered in sweet moments of closeness and intimacy, all of it was nothing but a frail illusion you had woven around her to shield her from the bitter and ugly truth. You had never been genuine, always sidestepping, always evading her attempts at sincere connection.

“I never said that,” you stated in a chilly, detached manner, completely lacking any trace of the warmth typically associated with the girl she was infatuated with. It seemed absurd to her. After all, it was still you, but you were revealing your true self. This was the same true self that everyone had cautioned her about, the central figure in all the rumors she had heard. They weren’t falsehoods. They were all painfully real. It was a shame that she was only realizing this now, after falling for your ass.

“Don’t you dare pull that shit on me,” The auburnette growled, her finger pointed at you in an accusatory manner, and she struggled to mask the hurt that was tearing her apart piece by piece.

You averted your gaze, unwilling to meet her eyes any longer; you knew that her words held the truth. You had led her on, selfishly used her to fulfill your own needs and desires, without a care in the world for the trauma and pain you’d leave in her. But deep down, beneath the cold facade you maintained, you couldn’t deny that this moment was tearing you apart as well. Even though you tried to fool yourself, to convince yourself that you didn’t care about her at all, you knew in your heart that it was a lie. You couldn’t ignore the sharp pang of guilt and regret that tugged at your chest like a persistent child pleading for attention. Your heart clamored for acknowledgment, drowning out the rational thoughts, urging you to stay and face the situation rather than retreat like a coward. It swore that things would be different this time, that she could be trusted. But you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it.

“Whatever. I’m done here.” You walked to the door, pausing for a fleeting moment. Turning back to her, your eyes seemed empty. Your voice sounded almost mechanical, having become accustomed to this repetitive cycle, trapped in an endless loop. You found someone new, they became attached, and just as you started to feel something, you would withdraw. “Don’t call me. Don’t text me. We’re done here.”

Ellie’s breath caught in her throat as your words sank in. The tears the auburnette had been holding back spilled over, but she forced herself to stand tall, her voice trembling as she struggled to keep herself composed. “Trust me, I won’t. I don’t ever want to see you again,” she promised, trying to sound firm and unaffected, but both of you knew it was far from the truth. She longed to run after you, to plead for you to stay, to not leave her, but she refused to give you the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable and in desperate need of you. You had already seen enough of her; she had already made herself look like a fool yet that didn’t stop you from stomping on her fragile heart.

“Good.”

And with that, you were gone, leaving behind only the ghost of what could have been, and the shattered pieces of her heart, leaving her alone with the echo of her own heartbreak. The door clicked shut behind you, the sound reverberating through the silence.

Ellie collapsed onto the bed, clutching a fluffy pillow to her chest, tears cascading down her face. The room seemed to chill, the absence of your presence amplifying the feeling of loneliness. She buried her face in the softness of the pillow, her tears leaving damp patches on the fabric. It was as if a part of her had been forcibly wrenched away, leaving a raw, throbbing emptiness that felt impossible to soothe. She clutched at her chest, the emotional anguish translating into a physical ache. Breathing became a struggle as her chest tightened, making it hard to draw in a full breath.

Hours passed in a haze of anguish and despair, her tears eventually tapering off, leaving her feeling empty and exhausted. She lay there, fixating on the stars plastered on her ceiling. The weight of your absence felt like the entire solar system had collapsed upon her, crushing her under the immensity of her grief and sorrow. She was pinned down, each star on her ceiling twinkling mercilessly, mocking her pain with their cheap radiant light.

She reached for her phone, her fingers quivering with a mixture of longing and pain as she typed out a message she knew she could never send: “I miss you already.”

Each keystroke felt like a betrayal of her own heart, an act of masochism as the words coalesced on the screen. The message lingered on the screen, an undelivered declaration of heartbreak, a painful confession trapped within the confines of a glowing screen.

She loathed herself for her own weakness, her own vulnerability towards you. She desperately craved a person who didn’t have the slightest care in the world for her, someone who could so easily discard her without a second thought. She could almost hear Dina’s voice in her head, scolding her for being so fucking stupid and naive, telling her to get her shit together and forget about you altogether—maybe after suggesting to burn your whole house down. But her heart ached with a yearning that couldn’t be so easily dismissed, leaving her feeling lost, pathetic, and wholly powerless. She knew deep down that if you came back she’d be welcoming you with open arms, like none of this had happened.

The words etched on the screen seemed to sneer at her, a cruel reminder of her impotence. She couldn’t change your mind and most importantly… she couldn’t change you. 

With a trembling hand, she erased the message, then tossed the phone aside, curling up into a tight ball on the bed. Exhaustion eventually took over, pulling her into a restless sleep. But even in her dreams, she was haunted by you, a phantom pain that followed her even in the realm of sleep, leaving her tormented and unable to truly escape reality.

The next morning, the sun beamed through the blinds, slicing through the room like a laser, bright and unforgiving. Ellie dragged herself upright in bed, feeling the weight of exhaustion bearing down on her like a heavy blanket. Every part of her felt burdened, as if the weariness had seeped into her bones, settling there as a constant reminder of the emptiness that had taken root in her heart. You had completely destroyed her and she wished she could bring herself to hate you for it, but she couldn’t; no matter how hard she tried.

She moved slowly, each action a deliberate fight against the numbness that threatened to overtake her. Getting dressed felt like going through the motions of a life she no longer recognized. The world outside her window seemed darker, as if the sun itself had dimmed in response to her loss. She knew she had to keep going, force herself to take one step, then another, even though every movement felt like trudging through thick, unforgiving mud.

She knew she had to erase you from her mind, from every little corner where you had once lived. The freckled girl stopped showing up to work, leaving Dina to be the one to tell you she was quitting. It was childish, she knew that, but the idea of facing you, of seeing you, was too much to bear. She knew that if she saw you, she would crumble, her resolve breaking as she begged you to come back, to love her back the way she had believed you once did. Beg you to let her hold you, in her arms, where you belonged. But you didn’t belong to her—if you had, you wouldn’t have left.

Each day that passed by, the redhead was left alone to wrestle with her heartache, a silent and insidious companion that had latched onto her like a parasite, feasting on the very essence of her being. It gnawed at her soul, leeching away her energy and joy, wrapping its cold, inky tendrils around her heart, holding her in an unbreakable ever present embrace of sorrow and despair. 

Her friends noticed the shift in her, the way her laughter had disappeared, replaced by a hollow silence. She seemed distant, as if she was there in body but absent in spirit, a ghost of the girl she used to be. 

No one knew what was going on inside her mind, no one except Jesse. He had seen the signs, had heard the unspoken words in her silence, but he kept it to himself, pretending not to know what had caused the light in her eyes to fade. Even when Dina couldn’t stop worrying about Ellie, but Jesse held his tongue, protecting the secret of her heartbreak. It was up to Ellie to talk about it to her friends—if she ever wanted to; he was certain that she eventually would, she just needed time.

Even Joel noticed the change in his daughter, the way she no longer found joy in the little things that used to make her smile. The eggs and bacon he made her in the mornings went untouched, her chair at the table often empty. She no longer filled the house with her endless chatter, no longer picked on him for his dad jokes. Instead, she withdrew into herself, isolating in her room or disappearing for hours at a time, leaving him to wonder where she was, who she was with. He had tried to find out, but all his searching had led to dead ends. His sweet girl had become a stranger, slipping away from him, slowly.

Summer, once Ellie’s favorite season, had become a cruel reminder of what she had lost. The warm breeze that used to fill her with a sense of freedom now felt like a mockery, a reminder of the momentary happiness that had slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to love summer again, not when it was tainted with memories of you. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get over what happened, the way you had reduced her to nothing while your life carried on, untouched by what you left behind.

She didn’t dare message you. She wasn’t that stupid. Pride held her back, even though the urge to reach out burned like an ember inside her, refusing to die out. You had told her not to, and she had promised she wouldn’t. And so, she kept her distance, even though a part of her hoped you would break the silence. But you never did, and neither did she.

Instead, Ellie focused on erasing every trace of you from her life. She gathered everything that reminded her of you, every small item that held a piece of your memory, and stuffed them into a box. She couldn’t bring herself to throw it away, but she needed them out of sight, out of reach. They were relics of a past she needed to forget.

The auburnette collapsed onto her bed, pulling her sketchbook into her lap. The pages felt heavy in her hands, filled with drawings that now only brought her pain. With a deep breath, she began tearing them out, each rip a cathartic release of the anger that had been building up like a lego tower right beneath her apathetic surface. Sketches of you, peaceful in sleep, your face lit with a smile or lost in thought, fell around her like leaves in autumn, each one a reminder of how deeply she had loved you. How deeply she had fooled herself.

Ellie’s hands paused as she reached the last page. There, among the sketches of you, was a drawing she hadn’t made. It was of her asleep, her features soft and unguarded. She recognized your handwriting at the bottom of the page, the words you had scrawled there while she was sleeping in her bed, unaware of your restless state that night.

“You’re such a creep. But a cute one. :P P.S. your snoring sounds like a horde of angry, sleep-deprived dinos.”

The storm of anger that had driven her to tear apart her sketchbook faded, replaced by a wave of sadness so intense it took her breath away. Her fingers traced the lines of the drawing, the tenderness in each stroke, the way you had captured her as you saw her, not as she saw herself. You have made her beautiful. You had seen something in her that she had never seen in herself. Her vision blurred as tears welled up, spilling onto the page, dampening the paper. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until a sob broke free, wracking her body with the force of her grief.

She slammed the sketchbook shut, tossing it aside as if it could rid her of the memories that clung to her like thorns. Her hands flew to her face, muffling the cries that echoed in her chest, the screams she was too broken to release. She buried her face in her palms, her body shaking with the effort of holding herself together, even as everything inside her was falling apart.

Ellie wished she would never cross paths with you again, the one who had so cruelly ripped her heart apart with the precision of a surgeon and the callousness of a butcher. You had done it without hesitation, without a second thought, leaving her to pick up the jagged pieces of what was once whole. She had begged and prayed, whispered desperate pleas to every deity that would listen, hoping beyond hope that the universe would grant her one mercy: that she would never have to see you again.

But Cupid, in all his twisted irony, had other plans.

To be continued…

[crumbledcastle28]

Joel Miller: Stay Down

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (she/her; afab)

Word count: 3.2k

Summary: Joel thought he had grown accustomed to fear until he finds you covered in blood.

Excerpt: He swallowed, attempting to choose his words carefully. He had never been good with them, attributing his deficiency to a long line of likewise men before him. His brain poured for sonnets, poetry, prose that he had read in his insignificant time on this planet. Something to impress you, distract you, to take away that crestfallen look in your eye.

He couldn’t do it. He never would be. So, he used his mouth for something else.

Warnings: stitching of a wound, kissing, blood, blood loss, so much yearning, unestablished relationship, probably incorrect gun talk, Joel is scared of feelings.

A/N: This is me coping with the fact that we do not get more last of us in January. Also partially inspired by my favorite song maybe ever.

Pedro Masterlist

All my writing

Joel had found his hands becoming more and more susceptible to the cold as he got older.

They would crack and bleed, flaking dried skin within his decades-old gloves before November had even begun. This not only hurt like hell, but forced him to slow down and think about what he was doing to his body for once in his life. He had a harder time gripping the reins on a horse or fingering the trigger on a shotgun. Noticeably so. And living in a small town with a little brother foaming at the mouth to make old man jokes didn't help matters.

This is what led him to you.

He wouldn't call you a hoarder. Honestly, he would be the first to admit that you were one of the smartest people in Jackson. You had somehow become one of the most materialistically rich people in the town. You consistently managed to find the most randomly useful items on your patrols, things that people before the outbreak would never have even thought to miss.

Things like shoe insoles, ball point pens, Chapstick.

And luckily for him, lotion.

You never charged anyone for taking from what you had. Furthermore, you actively asked people if they needed anything. Even offering to scout around the area in search of specifics. Joel hadn't been around that kind of softness since...

Well, a long time.

This made him uncharacteristically nervous when he first approached your doorstep, but he knocked anyway. He had never in a million years expected to leave that house satisfied in more ways than one.

He blamed it on that stupid crinkle the skin underneath your eyes got whenever you smiled at him. He couldn't help but fall into your light.

This started a... friendship. Of sorts. He would come over when he needed you, and you would happily oblige. As time went on, the visits to yours became more and more frequent, frequent enough that the rest of the town seemed to be catching on. At least, that's what his brother had been hinting at through jabs and side comments.

"You smiled at me the other day, Joel," Tommy had said. "Actually smiled."

Joel responded with a gesture he was hoping Ellie would not pick up anytime soon.

Joel was...happy. Happy with the arrangement. He had a warm body – a fucking gorgeous warm body – to get his energy out with, and the woman inside the body seemingly had no issue with his lack of strings attached.

And yet, for some reason, this annoyed him.

There was some undetectable, bruised part of him that wanted you to…what exactly? Fight him on it? Confess your undying love for him? Pull him back into bed to cuddle?

There had to be either pheromones or crack cocaine in that honeyed floral perfume you always wore. You were beginning to drive him this insane. Unfortunately for him, the place he went when he was beginning to toe that line into insanity was always you.

Joel had checked the schedule posted in the main square, assigning every able-bodied person shifts of patrol. You had a shift earlier in the day, which usually kept you busy until noon. You would then shower, eat, and spend the rest of the afternoon doing whatever the hell you wanted.

Overtime, these mental gymnastics became muscle memory to Joel.

He huffed as he lugged his aching legs up your steps, their typical milk white now coated in an ugly muddy brown. Winter had begun, apparent by the puffs of Joel’s own breaths, and the snow in Jackson was trying desperately to keep up.

Joel balled his hands into fists as he planted both feet onto your porch, blowing into them quickly, before knocking three times. Spaced out enough, but not too much. He envisioned you smiling as you heard his signature knock, but cringed at himself internally, burying the thought instantly.

It fluttered back to the surface when he heard the pads of your footsteps somewhere in the house begin but extinguished itself when they dissipated.

He waited a few more seconds, the rational part of his brain saying that you must be in the middle of something, but the man part of his brain imagining you putting on your silky red robe he loved so much, only for him to take it off you so slowly it made his own fingers shake. He breathed in deep, the laundry detergent from his nylon coat mixed with the beginnings of December filling his nose, and cracked his neck while rocking back and forth on his heels.

His eyebrows came together when he heard another rustle, then nothing.

He knocked again.

Still, nothing,

He knew you were in there – he could hear you, clear as day, and he knew you could hear him – but for some reason, you weren’t coming to the door.

His much too weathered mind began to race, thinking of three possible explanations. One, you heard him knocking, and were ignoring him. Two, you somehow were not hearing him knock on the door. Or three, you for some reason were not able to get to the door.

Meaning, there was a possibility you weren’t alone in there, and not by choice.

“Y/N?” he asked loudly. “Y/N, are you in there?”

Nothing. A bit more rustling, maybe a slight groan, but nothing.

Joel’s fingers began to tingle, and it wasn’t from the cold. He knocked again, harder.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there,” he said loudly, “just…just tell me you’re okay.”

Silence.

He gripped the doorknob and jiggled it, hard enough for the wood to groan underneath his fingertips, but it was locked from the inside. He huffed, knocking again, his hot breaths now clouding his face. He felt an ache in his wrist.

He said your name one more time, hearing the beginnings of a voice he knew better than he should have muffled by the wood, and the door was flat in front of him before he could think twice.

He stomped his way inside, coating the ground with mud and snow, and his eyes darted around the familiar living room. His vision was tunneled, scrounging for the shape of you on the floor, draped over the couch, held at gunpoint. His heart pulsed in his ears.

You weren’t in the living room.

He stomped into the kitchen, the bathroom, the basement, nothing. All that was left was the bedroom.

There was no way in hell you were still asleep.

He practically sprinted to the room, preparing himself. He had seen what men did to women, the remnants of it anyway, and despite his state of denial, he could never in a million years handle the sight of you that way. In your own bed. In your own house. Likely one of your own friends.

He pulled open the door anyway, and was met with gold.

The room was dim except for the lamps you loved so dearly, spreading their warm, glowing, honeyed light across the room in streaks. He blinked his eyes to adjust, focusing in on your body on the bed. You were facing him, skin painted with similar golden streaks, highlighting the tears culminating under your eyes. You were sat crisscrossed, upper body totally bare, back slouched tightly, your body practically folded in on itself. Your right hand was pressed against your left shoulder blade, while your other was filled with wine-colored rags.

Blood-soaked rags.

His eyes met yours quickly, and despite their dampness, they still had that fucking crinkle.

You chuckled, your shoulders dropping up and down quickly as they always do.

“You know,” you said, voice curdled and tired, “if someone doesn’t answer the door, that’s usually them saying ‘leave me the hell alone.”

You chuckled again, this time finishing it off with a wince.

His hand slid slowly from the doorknob as he took a hesitant step towards you, his body tearing itself in half. One side begging to fold your body into him, bubbling you in a cocoon. The other, itching to tear whatever did this to you apart ligament by ligament.

Your eyes slowly drooped from humor to something like shame, like a kicked dog or a broken child, and he stepped forward again.

“Don’t,” you countered weakly. “Just…just don’t.”

You scooted away from him slightly, refusing to look at him, and applied more pressure to whatever was expelling that much blood from your shoulder. Pain was suddenly present in your face.

“You want me to leave?” he quickly countered.

You said nothing.

He walked to you, removing the hand you had pressed against your wound, and sucked in a quick breath.

“Probably the first time you’ve seen a revolver bullet in about twenty years, huh Joel?” you asked, chuckling once more.

He barely heard you.

You had gotten the bullet out, but it had sunken in deep. The skin around it was red and welting, so swollen that Joel had to guess you had already been working on it for at least an hour. He winced, imagining what kind of pain you were in, and the fact that you were dealing with it all yourself.

He swallowed grimly.

“Hand me that rag,” he said. He could tell how little strength you had left to fight him by how quickly the rag flopped into his hand.

He pressed it to the wound, and you hissed.

“Fuck Joel,” you whined, squeezing the covers of your bed so tightly your knuckles went white. He held his pressure, forcing himself to think straight.

He might as well have been feeling the pain in his own shoulder.

He finally eased his pressure, wiping away as much blood from the area as he could.

“You cleaned it pretty well,” he said softly, voice thick in his throat, so thick it was hard to speak. “But…it’s gonna need a stich or two.”

“Or seven,” you said, grabbing the first aid kit sat in the middle of the bed. You opened the bag with shaking hands, taking out the needle and thread. You attempted to begin threading the needle, but with your hands quaking so fiercely you only produced frustrated grunts and sighs. He moved to the front of the bed, the front of his body facing yours, and took the needle and thread from your hands, setting them to the side. He then held your hands in his, squeezing them slightly, before using one to tilt your chin up at him.

He sighed at the storm in your eyes.

“What happened?”

“Did you kick my fucking door down?”

“What happened?”

“I was stupid, that’s what happened.”

He sighed again. “You’ve never once been stupid.”

“Today I was.”

“How?”

“It’s how I always am.” Your voice cracked. “Thought I could pick some apples for Mrs. Lawrence down the street. She always talks about how much she loved that as a kid – a freshly picked apple. Went out too far. Felt a sudden burning in my shoulder and ended up having to take out six hunters all by myself. Six.”

A single tear dripped from your left eye, the gold from the lamps turning it to sunlight.

“I could’ve died. All for a fucking apple.”

You turned away from him again, and it took everything in him not to cup your face in his hands and turn you back to him. He had never seen you like this before. So… raw. Beaten. Trampled. Doused in self-hatred. He hated it.

And yet, he didn’t want to look away. He was slowly realizing that this was the part of you he had been desperate to see. Truth. Undercarriage. Weakness.

Human.

He swallowed, attempting to choose his words carefully. He had never been good with them, attributing his deficiency to a long line of likewise men before him. His brain poured for sonnets, poetry, prose that he had read in his insignificant time on this planet. Something to impress you, distract you, to take away that crestfallen look in your eye.

He couldn’t do it. He never would be. So, he used his mouth for something else.

Slowly, gentler than he ever had in his life, he brought his mouth to your cheekbone. You exhaled a prolonged breath, the heat of it cascading down the left side of his neck. It only prompted him to kiss you more, and more, and more. His lips traveling up into your hairline, across your forehead, down your nose, and finally onto your lips. His kiss there was tongueless, rather a soft press, and yet it meant more to him than any other one you had ever shared.

He could tell by your breathing that you agreed.

He pressed his forehead against yours, swallowing thickly. “I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t know…I don’t know what I would do if you did.”

Your stormy eyes turned into a sunrise, and Joel straightened his aching back to slowly remove his coat and boots. He placed them on the floor beside your bed, keeping his eyes on you the entire time. You watched him just the same, mouth propped open slightly.

He smirked as he set his things down. He then picked up the needle and thread while using his free hand to frame your face.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said, his thumb stroking your chin. “I promise.”

You nodded. “I know you will.”

His lips wanted to meet yours so badly it hurt, but he needed to stitch you. Quickly. For a wound as deep as the one you had, it should have been closed up hours ago.

He wouldn’t think about that now. He couldn’t.

He walked to the edge of the bed and turned you around, leaning you into him slightly to give your pretzeled back some support, and began.  

You were surprisingly unreactive when he first inserted the needle, taking it as delicately as he possibly could. It wasn’t until he began to tug the skin together that your body showed signs of pain.

“You’re going too slow,” you mumbled softly after he finished the second stitch. “Please go faster.”

His hands began to shake at your request. He didn’t blame you. Speed would make it hurt worse, but be over with quicker. He squeezed the top of your shoulder in response, threading the needle quickly and stitching over the center of the wound.

You let out a high-pitched whine, gripping onto the comforter at your side, and he couldn’t help but kiss the back of your neck.

He let your breathing steady, then stitched again, this time kissing your shoulder blade.

Another stitch, a kiss across your shoulders.

Another stitch, a kiss down your spine.

Another stitch, a kiss on your lower back.

After every stitch, he planted one. Something in him couldn’t help it.

He made his final stitch and cut the thread quickly, sealing it with a kiss on the side of your face. He tasted a mix of salty tears and heat from your skin. He watched your throat bobble as he moved away, finishing off the wound with a final cleaning. Alcohol and blood filled the air, along with undertones of sweat.

He had a feeling that last aroma came mostly from him.

He threw the needle and thread away into the small garbage can you kept near your bed before turning back to face you. You rested on the balls of your palms, leaning back to look at him as he walked back towards you. There was pain visible behind your eyes, he could see it, but they were coated in something else. Something somehow rawer than before.

“You should rest now,” he said, scruff evident in his voice from lack of use. He cleared it quickly. “You took a hell of a hit.”

You didn’t move. Joel moved to the first aid kit still sitting in the middle of the bed and used the (what had to be decades old) wet wipes on his hands. He tossed those as well, but you still hadn’t moved.

“There somethin’ on my face?”

You cracked a small smile. “Thank you, Joel,” you said quietly.

He hummed. “Don’t mention it.” He then leaned forward and scooped your body into his arms. You involuntarily rested against him, eyes fluttering already, but he set you down beneath your sheets and swiftly pulled them over you.

He laughed at your fight against your own exhaustion, pushing stray hairs away from your forehead. He pulled away from you, beginning to walk out of the room. A fierce grip pulled him backwards.

“Stay,” you mumbled weakly. “Please stay.”

He inhaled deeply. The sweet cocktail of your voice mixed with those words fucking inebriating him, so much so he was surprised he was still standing up straight. He felt physically winded.

He squeezed your hand. “I’ll be right back. Stay down.”

You smiled, loosening your grip, letting your hand fall back into the bed.

Joel walked quietly out of the room but would be the last to admit how he practically sprinted to your kitchen and scoured your cabinets like a man being chased. He found your pain meds, pouring two into his hand, and filling up a small glass of water. He gave a slow, silent jog back to your room.

He felt equally as winded when he caught the view of the setting sun between your windows, glazing over you like a statue in Rome he had once seen on a traveling magazine. The streaks of leftover tears were highlighted in the light, as well as a small crease in your brow.

That is what told him you were not quite yet out cold.

He brought the meds and water to you, tucking your hair behind your ear to alert you of his presence. You opened your eyes and practically inhaled the medicine before laying back down on your side.

Joel removed his shirt in a blink and tucked himself in behind you, ensuring your stitches were not firmly pressed against him, but pressed just enough to ease soreness. You curved into him perfectly, as he did to you. He wrapped his arm around your frame, taking your hands in his and massaging them gently.

You hummed. “Promise you’ll stay?”

He knew your voice like that better than any man in the world.

He pressed a final kiss to your shoulder. “I’m stayin.’”

Tag List: (if you would like to be added please let me know!)

@untitledarea @avengersfan25 @lexloon @daphne-turner @leeeesahhh

[eucalyptus-lvs]

Your Girl? - Carmen Berzatto x Reader

When I first started writing this it was going to be a stand-alone, but I could also see it as a pt. 2 to Good Luck Charm. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. If you have any thoughts or constructive criticism it's always appreciated. May not be the most canon portrayal of Carmy, but after S3 I need some happy moments. - Elli <3

TW: None. Maybe a suggestive comment or two.

Walking into The Beef you’re immediately hit with the smell of fresh bread and cooked meat. Before you can even make it to the counter Richie's face breaks into a bright smile as he spots you. "You're not supposed to be in today. Couldn't stay away from me, sweetheart?"

Most people found him to be rough around the edges, maybe even misogynistic, but you preferred to think of him as old-fashioned. 

The two of you grew close in the time you spent working together.

Although you started as a dishwasher, Mikey had switched you to the front after two weeks of working there when Richie almost made a kid cry for trying to order a hotdog with ketchup. You quickly learned that your new job was about keeping the peace and making things run as smoothly as the people around you would allow. 

Regardless, it was hard to see the man in front of you as a bad guy after watching him get on his knees to put a Hello Kitty bandaid on Eva's hand at a time when she was adamant about being “champion of the monkey bars”.

"Oh, I never wanna be away from you, honey." You share a laugh. "I just came by to drop something off for the boss. Then I'll be on my way."

"He's in the back if you wanna go on through."

"So I can get sucked into the vortex of chaos on my day off? I don't think so." The fighting has slowed down a bit at the restaurant, but it was still pretty busy. Guaranteeing that the energy level was always high. 

"Good point. I’ll tell him you're here." 

“Thanks, Rich.” You move to stand off to the side in a less crowded part of the restaurant. Taking out your phone, you check the time as you watch him retreat into the back. 

If you make this quick you can still get to the coffee place a couple blocks over before it closes for the day.

After a moment you see them both enter from the kitchen. Richie goes back to the register to attend to the customers, while Carmy heads your way.

"Hey. Richie said you had somethin' for me?" Wiping his hands on a towel and tossing it over his shoulder as he approached you. “Everything okay?”

"Yeah. I was getting ready this morning and saw this on the bathroom counter." You reach into your pocket to pull out a gold chain.

His gold chain.

Dangling between you both from your fingers.

"Shit, I don't even remember takin' it off." Grasping it from your hand to undo the clasp and put it on.

"That's because I did right before we got in the shower. I'm surprised it's still together with all the wear and tear you put it through."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for droppin’ it off. I coulda stopped by tonight though. After I close up?" The phrasing of his statement sounding more like a question.

"I was close by. I wanted to try that coffee shop down the street I was telling you about." You took a step toward him and whispered, "As for tonight, you know I want you over, but we're gonna have to make an effort to get some actual rest before we both develop a sleeping disorder."

"You seem to be doin’ just fine.” A grin broke out on his face.

"Did you forget the part where I told you I have to go get coffee?" You reminded disapprovingly.

"Okay, I get it. Sleep sounds really fuckin' good right now actually." He ran a hand through his hair as he paused. "You eat somethin' already?"

You break eye contact to look around the room aimlessly and avoid the question until your eyes land back on him. “....Huh?”

“We talked about this. You can’t starve yourself all day and then do your fuckin’ girl dinner shit when you get home.”

“First of all, you will never know the joys of girl dinner because you refuse to participate. It's the most well-balanced meal I'm capable of. Second, I've been running around all day and I forgot.”

“First of all, the fact that you call a plate with butter noodles, kimchi, a hard-boiled egg, and some red cherries ‘the most well-balanced meal you're capable of’ is scary. It's really fuckin’ scary. Second, I know you're busy. I'm a chef! What kinda asshole do I look like lettin’ my girl eat like that because you refuse to let me cook you somethin’?” He shot back, growing exasperated with the topic at hand.

“It literally covers all the major food groups! Wait-” You paused, tilting your head. Only just processing his full statement. “your girl?”

You can see the exact moment he processes it too. His eyes widened in panic. “Uh I-I meant, I mean we’ve kinda been-”

“Oh my god, you poor baby boy. You're blushing.” A smirk grows on your face.

“Fuck off” His eyes focusing on the floor, shaking his head. The heavy blush spread up his neck as well as his face.

“I'm afraid I can't do that at this particular moment, but maybe we both will later after you ask me to be your girlfriend.” You replied in a sing-songy voice. “Yknow for future reference you typically ask someone when you want to be exclusive with them.”

He leaned closer to you, eyebrows furrowing as he lowered his tone so he wouldn't be overheard. “I-I thought we've been exclusive. I haven't seen anyone else since you.” 

“I haven't either, but I guess if you want it to stay that way you're gonna have to ask me and make this official. Unless,” You lean away, kissing your teeth as you cross your arms. “you're too scared?”

“You know what? I'm not gonna ask.”

“Wow, you've already backed out. You sure there's not some other girl I should know about?” You mocked, knowing he barely had the time and energy to keep up with you. 

Even if he did, you knew there was no one else. Spending most of your nights at each other's place testing new recipes or wrapped up together in the early hours of the morning before the restaurant needed attending. 

That's why it never occurred to you to define what this is. He was making an active effort to have a life outside of the restaurant and he was doing it with you. 

That doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy making him sweat a little though.

“What?! No. I'm not asking because you're gonna ask me.”

“I’m gonna ask you to be my girlfriend?”

“No, smart-ass.” He let out a breathy chuckle, gesturing vaguely. “Your yknow- boyfriend.”

“Well, that's never gonna happen.” You stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why not?”

“Because you're right. I should get a boyfriend that’ll take care of me and all my food-related needs.” Shrugging your shoulders you wave a hand in the direction of the register. Shouting, “RICH-”

“Stop.” He cut you off, raising his hand. “That's not even funny.”

“Oh, come on. It's a little funny.” You giggle, nudging his arm with your hand.

Shaking his head, he leads you to a table to sit down. “I've gotta get back in there.” Leaning close to your ear he whispers, “Sit tight while I make somethin’ for my girl.” Cupping the underside of your jaw with his calloused hand, he places a quick kiss on your cheek before walking off. 

You smile as you watch him disappear past the doors and back into the kitchen. 

You weren't gonna make it to the coffee shop today, but that was okay. Maybe you could go together on your way to work tomorrow.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Richie came up and put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing. “You call for me?”

You put your hand over his and squeezed back. Looking up at him you replied, “Just fuckin’ with Carm.”

“Good girl.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 16: You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

You and Joel look for Anna and find a new balance in your relationship. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 15, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex. Discussion of drug use and addiction. Mention of parent death Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 10.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter

“You’re sure this is a good idea?” 

You kept your voice low, watching as Joel swayed slowly with Ellie cradled in his arms. 

“She’ll be fine,” he said quietly. “C’mon. Would I do anything that would put this sweet little thing in harm’s way?” 

You sighed, Joel already ignoring you in favor of your niece. Not that you could blame him. In the two months that you’d been basically living with Joel, Ellie had blossomed. She still had her crying jags and was far from an easy baby - from what you could tell, anyway. But she was eating steadily now that you’d found a formula that didn’t upset her stomach so much and sleeping for three hours at a time overnight. She’d gone from being underweight to having charming rolls of baby fat on her arms and legs and she had this tendency to watch whoever was holding her with an intensity that felt uncommon for a baby. You were sure you were biased but you were certain that she was the smartest baby you’d ever seen. Her gaze was keen as she took everything in, her eyes shifting to a deep, rich chocolate brown and it was hard to not just look at her all the time. 

“I’d never let anything happen to you, would I?” Joel said to Ellie, his voice high pitched and lilting. “No I wouldn’t! Uncle Joel loves you so much, yes he does!” 

You smiled a little, letting yourself enjoy the sight of your best friend holding the baby who had become the most important person in the world before looking back in the direction of the kitchen where you knew Tommy was putting a mountain of junk food into the fridge and freezer. 

“Really, Goldie, it’s fine,” Joel said in his more typical baritone. “Tommy watched Sarah for me all the time when she was a baby, he’s actually great with kids, even tiny ones. She’ll be just fine for a night, I promise. We gotta do this.” 

You sighed and then nodded.

“Right,” you said. “You’re right, we do.” 

You held your arms out and Joel passed you Ellie before his lips brushed your temple, a motion that had become so commonplace over the last few weeks. You glanced at him quickly, eyes darting, as he pulled away from you and he flinched a little before grabbing your overnight bags and heading for the living room. 

That was a commonplace occurrence, too. The flinching when he touched you in some intimate, familiar way that seemed to go beyond the bounds of your previous relationship. 

You weren’t sure why he kept doing it. Kissing you, putting his hand on the small of your back when you were near, nuzzling into your hair. He always flinched some after, like these little sparks of closeness were nauseating. You had your theories as to why, of course. He’d told you little of Sarah’s mother but it sounded like she had been around for at least the early days of her daughter’s life. Maybe he was used to these tiny intimacies with a woman he was raising a child alongside, maybe the only way he was used to passing off a baby came with a gentle brush of his lips on skin. Or maybe he thought you needed it, that you were still so fragile even months after you’d shown up on his doorstep with a screaming infant and feeling like you were going to lose yourself if you weren’t careful that he needed to do things like touch you to keep you sane. 

But you wished he’d just stop. It didn’t help when you knew how much he apparently loathed it, it just stung. Even tempering it with the knowledge that he apparently cared enough for you to tolerate something he so clearly didn’t enjoy because he thought it was what you needed, it hurt. 

You and Joel had struck a delicate - if largely unspoken - balance since that first night. You’d all but moved in, Joel giving you two drawers and a corner of his closet, and you’d put a small bassinet in his room. The two of you took shifts overnight, switching out looking after Ellie when she stirred. Since UT’s school year ended a full month before Sarah’s did, you took over making breakfast and getting her out the door in the morning until she was on summer vacation and - now that summer break was in full swing - you watched her and you took care of Ellie while Joel was at work during the day. For all intents and purposes, you functioned like a couple. In all ways except one: you didn’t have sex again. 

You should probably be thankful for that, you knew. It wasn’t like you’d ever say no to him if he’d offered. Even if it destroyed you, you’d always fold the moment he touched you like he wanted you at all. The fact that it hadn’t happened since was a blessing. 

You tried to remind yourself of that when you were lying next to him at night and he didn’t touch you that way. Not that you expected him to at all, especially not with Ellie in the room but still. You wanted it. Longed for it. Ached for it, taking full advantage of what little privacy you got when in the shower or when Sarah was at a friend’s house and Ellie was down for a nap to fuck yourself hard and fast until you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning your best friend’s name. 

Because it was always Joel you thought of now. He was burned into you that way. The first time you’d ever touched yourself had been to the thought of Joel, back before you knew what kissing him and taking him into yourself would be. It had been a losing battle since you’d moved back to Texas, the proximity bringing him to mind so much faster now. Once you’d started dating Stephen, it felt almost like cheating when you made yourself come to the thought of someone else, even though you’d never talked about being exclusive in any sense, let alone in the world of fantasy. Still, you came hard to the thought of your best friend and dealt with the twinge of guilt after. You’d just hoped you’d be able to set this obsession down if you became serious about someone. 

The aftermath of sleeping with Joel again had proved, though, that you were going to be stuck here, feeling like this, for what seemed like forever. You cut things off with Stephen then, using Anna’s vanishing as an excuse to end things. Really, it was just because you couldn’t stomach pretending like it could go anywhere, like you wouldn’t spend your entire relationship wishing he was someone else. 

Since then, you’d thrown yourself into anything - everything - else you could use to distract yourself. Beyond caring for Ellie and Sarah, you’d made some progress on your next book, shifting the story to be about a family more than a romantic relationship. You’d helped Joel with a business plan for Miller Construction, the contracting company he was hoping to start. But, most importantly, you’d gotten some idea about where Anna might be. 

She was, at least, still alive. You’d been able to track down contact information for her sponsor after meeting her once and hearing Anna mention her first name a few times. Marlene had been reluctant to tell you much at all but did at least tell you that she was checking in with Anna daily. She seemed sober, apparently, and Marlene was encouraging her to seek some help but she hadn’t had any luck yet. 

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” she’d sighed when you called a few days earlier. “But she mentioned her ex today. I think she might be with him.” 

You’d all but flown into a panic at that, fighting to hold it together as you watched Sarah swim and you held Ellie carefully while you sat on the steps in the shallow end of the pool. Josh Williams was the worst possible fucking influence your sister could have. He’s who got her into drugs in the first place, their love affair had been a whirlwind even in the best of times. What would being around him do to her now, when she was cracking under the weight of motherhood and what you were certain was postpartum depression? 

“Goldie, take a breath,” Joel said that night after Sarah was in bed and he’d plied you with a margarita. “Here, gimme…” He held his hands out and you passed him the baby and he beamed at her for a moment, making her giggle, before he turned his attention back to you. “Drink more. Let’s think on it. When things went real bad for her, was she with Josh or was she on her own?” 

You sighed and took a sip of margarita. 

“On her own,” you said. “She definitely got into trouble with Josh but… he didn’t hurt her. Well, not like that.” 

“So she’s probably safe,” Joel said gently. “That’s good, that’s the important thing right now, right?” 

“Right,” you nodded and sighed again. “Jesus… So what do we do?” 

“Well,” Joel shifted Ellie and she cooed at him before he cooed back as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Lemme just…” He typed something in, pressing a kiss to little Ellie’s cheek as he did. “Alright, looks like that band of his is on tour and they’ll be in Dallas in a few days. We can go, talk to him, see if he knows where she is.” 

You nodded slowly, taking another drink. 

“If I can talk to her, I can see if I can get her to get some help,” you said. “Or at least come home… Even if we still keep Ellie for a while, if she was at least home…” 

“It’s progress, Goldie Girl,” Joel said gently, putting his phone back in his pocket and shifting Ellie again. “It’s a good thing. It is.” 

You drank a few margaritas there on his couch, watching Joel with Ellie. He seemed enraptured with her, making faces to pull little gummy smiles out of her chubby features and peppering her with kisses before coaxing her to sleep on his chest. 

“C’mon,” he said quietly after a while. “Let’s get this one to bed and then get you to bed. You need it.” 

That night was the closest the two of you came to fucking again. You were tipsy enough that Joel had to help keep you from stumbling between the bathroom and the bed, Ellie sleeping soundly in her crib as she had been the last few nights, the distance from her still oddly foreign to you. 

“Careful there,” he caught you. “How many’d you have?” 

“Enough, apparently,” you tried not to laugh, worried you’d wake up the baby. 

“I’ll say,” he said, walking you to the bed and lowering you to the mattress. “Alright, legs in baby.” 

You obeyed and he tucked the sheets around you before turning out the light and climbing into bed beside you. You rolled onto your side and nuzzled against him before he’d even gotten settled, making him laugh. 

“Forgot what a touchy feely drunk you are,” he teased. 

“Shut up,” you said, pressing yourself closer to him all the same. He laughed and then the two of you fit yourselves against each other, your body curving around his. 

“Know it’s not the best circumstances,” he said quietly after a minute. “But… I’m glad you’re here. That you’re not tryin’ to do this shit alone.” 

“Me too,” you said, moving somehow closer to him. His hold on you tightened, his nose nuzzling into your hair. Your lips ghosted over the warm skin of his throat. He groaned a little and your leg hitched over his thigh. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you ground your hips against him.

“Goldie,” he said, a little breathless, pulling back from you enough to look you in the eye. “We… we shouldn’t…” 

You groaned in a way that was closer to a whine and his forehead dropped to yours. 

“You’re drunk,” he whispered. 

“Not that drunk,” you whispered back. 

“Drunk enough,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “This… you still want this in the morning? We can talk about it. Or just forget about it. Whatever you want, but we can’t right now.” 

You fell asleep before too long, feeling achy and needy as you did, and woke up still in Joel’s arms with dawn slipping through the slats of his blinds. Joel was already awake, his large palm resting on the crown of your head, his thumb brushing a gentle trail over your forehead. You looked at him for a moment, memorizing the planes of his face, the scruff on his cheeks, the way his hair was mussed first thing in the morning. 

“She still asleep?” You asked quietly, eventually. 

“Yeah,” he said, just as quiet. “Don’t know that she’s ever slept this late but checked the monitor a little while ago, she’s still breathin’…” 

“That’s good,” you smiled a little. Your stomachs were pressed together, your t-shirt had ridden up in the night so your skin was against his and he was so warm, the heat of him seeping out and spreading over you. 

“Goldie…” he whispered, his face drawn and so close to yours and your heart lurched in your chest. “I can’t…” 

Ellie’s sharp little cry made you both jump, like you’d forgotten for a moment about the little life in the next room that was completely dependent on the two of you. 

“I got ‘er,” Joel said, quickly pulling himself from you and all but running to Ellie’s room. 

The two of you didn’t talk about it again. 

You carried Ellie to the kitchen, Sarah perched on a counter as Tommy made a huge plate of nachos. 

“And we can watch movies and stay up late and…” 

“Just because I’m gonna be out of town for a night don’t mean that all the rules are out the window, baby girl,” Joel said, a small smile on his face all the same. 

“Hey,” Tommy said. “How late she stays up and what junk food we eat while she does it is none of your concern when you ain’t here, old man.”

“Yeah Dad,” Sarah smirked, leaning over and swiping a chip from Tommy’s plate. “You leave Uncle Tommy in charge? You get what you get.” 

“Lord,” Joel sighed, still smiling. “Such a bad influence on my kid…” 

“S’why you love me,” Tommy smirked before winking at you. “Alright, let me see the tiny one, c’mon.” 

You gave Ellie a kiss on her chubby cheek before passing her off to Tommy and he beamed at her. 

“There’s the cutest baby in the world,” he held her with his large hands around her waist, lifting her to blow a raspberry as best he could on her onesie covered stomach. Ellie giggled and he held her to his chest. “There, now I got the important stuff all set. You two get out of here, try to have fun…” 

“Not goin’ for fun,” Joel said, almost like a reprimand. 

“I know,” Tommy said, still calm. “But still. You two have had your hands full lately. Have a damn drink at least.” 

You stepped in before Joel had a chance to try to pick a fight with his brother. 

“You know how to hold her when she has her bottle?” You asked. “And where the extra diapers are in case the ones in the changing table drawers run out? And…” 

“I got ‘er,” Tommy said gently. “And I got your numbers if I need ‘em. Which I won’t.” 

You nodded, not fully able to shake the knot that had settled in your stomach at the thought of leaving Ellie with anyone but yourself or Joel. At the thought of being alone with Joel, no buffer of Ellie or Sarah that had been there ever since you’d slept together again. 

“Thank you for doin’ this,” Joel said earnestly. “It means a lot.” 

“One day, I’ll have kids and I’ll need you to watch ‘em when I want to get my girl out of town,” Tommy said. “Better believe I’m cashing in.” 

You and Joel stopped at a gas station on the way out of town, filling up your car and grabbing snacks from the convenience store and delaying the inevitable awkward silence when the two of you were alone with nothing else to distract you. 

It felt like the two of you were halfway to fucking Waco when Joel finally spoke. 

“You think she’ll be there?” He asked. 

You sighed. 

“I don’t know. I hope so, I hope we can get to her and that she’ll listen and…” 

You ground your teeth for a moment before looking over to him. Joel was driving - it never mattered that it was your car, Joel always drove, it had been like that even when you were teenagers - and there was something so reassuring about him being behind the wheel. 

“Is this stupid?” You asked. “Am I going about this the wrong way?” 

He glanced over to you, looking you up and down before turning his eyes back to the road. 

“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do this,” he said after a moment. “It’s… it’s a shit situation. I just don’t want you gettin’ your hopes up too much is all.” 

“They’re not,” you said quickly. “God, even if she is there, it’s still going to be a fucking mess…” 

“It is,” Joel said. “But you’ll help her through it. You’re real good at that shit.” 

You scoffed. 

“What?” He said. “You are. You’ve been doin’ a great job, Goldie girl. That’s not going to change because Anna actually comes back - or doesn’t.” 

You nodded slowly, looking out the window again, trying not to think about whether you were more afraid that Anna would be at the concert tonight or that she wouldn’t be. 

“Think you’re ready to throw a pool party for a bunch of preteen girls?” You asked, giving him a little smile. 

“Lord,” he laughed once. “No. But thanks for helpin’ plan it all the same. Sarah’s so damn excited, rivals the fuckin’ concert…” 

“Your list is coming along,” you smiled a little wider him.

“Speaking of our lists,” he teased, glancing your way. “How’s that book of yours comin’ along?” 

“Good, shockingly enough,” you said. “You’re in this one, too. Well, kind of you, it’s not like I named the character Joel but…” 

“I am?” He asked, brows raised. You nodded and then he frowned. “Wait, too? What do you mean, too?” 

Your face fell before you could stop it, your eyes going wide. 

“Goldie,” he said, glancing toward you. “What’d you mean, too? Was I in your first book?” 

“OK, don’t start that,” you said. “Come on, I… Look, alright? My first book was more of a coming of age thing and you were my best friend so… yeah, OK, you might have influenced a character a little. Just a bit. That’s all, it’s nothing crazy…” 

Your heart was racing but Joel just smiled, broad enough that it made the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

“Didn’t know I meant so much to you, Goldie Girl,” he teased. 

“Don’t read into it,” you rolled your eyes. “Literally, please don’t read it…” 

“Pretty sure it’s above my reading level, anyway,” he winked.

You glared at him. 

“I hate you,” you said. 

“I know,” he smiled, glancing over at you. “S’why we get along so well.” 

The two of you fell into your usual, comfortable familiarity after that, joking and laughing and singing along to the songs from the playlist Joel made for the drive, you trying to forget about the fact that you were only making this drive to try to save your sister from herself. 

The room Joel had booked for you this time was not nearly as nice as the one from the Taylor Swift weekend - not that you were arguing. Putting the two of you in one hotel room right now felt like tempting fate as it was, let alone one that could be mistaken for romantic. But still, you were disappointed when he opened the motel door to a room with two queen sized beds instead of just one king. 

“Figured you could use some space from me since we don’t gotta listen to a baby monitor all night,” Joel said, carrying the bags in. He dropped your duffle on the bed furthest from the door and checked his watch. “Should probably head out in about an hour if you want to get something to eat first…” 

You nodded, fidgeting with your necklace, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. 

“Well,” Joel said, his voice a little awkward. “Think I’ll… I’ll just… take a nap. Keep my eyes closed. So you can get changed and shit if you need.” 

“Right,” you smiled tightly. “Thanks.” 

“Yup,” he said, lying flat on his back on his bed, his forearm over his eyes as you started going through your bag. 

You checked in with Tommy, already missing Ellie, before you got changed into something that was good for a rock concert. Well, you thought it was, anyway - this was always your sister’s territory - and did your hair and makeup so that you had a shot of trying to talk your way backstage to talk to Josh. Hopefully. Maybe. 

When you gently shook Joel awake he stared at you for a moment, blinking with a look on his face that you couldn’t quite place. 

“You really passed out,” you teased, fighting that awkward feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Yeah,” he shook his head quickly, like he was shaking off the sleep. “Guess so. C’mon Goldie, let’s go see if we can find Anna.”

***

There had to be more Joel could be doing to help you. He was sure there was something he was fucking missing because there had to be something he could do beyond twiddling his fucking thumbs, waiting in line to get into a small concert venue in Dallas on a Saturday night. 

You were twisting your hands around on themselves, lower lip between your teeth as you tried to peer around the line as though you’d have any chance of seeing any of the bands right now. 

“Is this dumb?” You asked eventually, looking at Joel with wide eyes. “I’m worried this is a stupid fucking idea…” 

“How else were you gonna get ahold of the guy?” He asked gently. “You didn’t have his number, it’s not like you can find him in the damn phonebook. You came to him. It’s what you had to do. You have to try, right?” 

You took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. 

“Right,” you said. “You’re right.” 

The words didn’t match your expression, still worrying your lip between your teeth, still knotting your fingers and Joel wondered yet again what the fuck he was missing. It had to be something, there had to be something he could do to make your life easier because, fuck, why was he even here if he couldn’t?

Ever since you’d all but moved into his house, you’d done nothing but improve his life. Sure, you came with an infant and she was nothing if not a challenge but Joel liked having another kid around to take care of. Thrived on it, really. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed Sarah’s newborn days until he was faced with Ellie’s. 

Joel had been so alone then, drowning in the state of his life, in his new identity as Sarah’s father, in the weight of the future heavy in his hands whenever he held his baby girl. It had been hard to really enjoy that time. He knew he’d want to remember it, the way her little legs tucked up into her stomach and the way her nose scrunched when she first woke up - something she still did now if he woke her up abruptly from a deep enough sleep - but it had been a conscious thing. Remember it because he should, because he knew he’d want to keep these parts of his daughter close, not because it came naturally. 

He wondered, sometimes, in hindsight, if there was something wrong with him for that. If he wasn’t a good enough father because his mind had been elsewhere in his daughter’s earliest days, if some vital piece of him was broken because he hadn’t taken naturally to that part of fatherhood even though he loved her more than he realized any human being could love another. 

With Ellie, though, he knew he wasn’t broken. He’d just been so overwhelmed by everything else that the best parts of fatherhood hadn’t found their way to him yet. Now, though, it seemed like he had everything he needed. There was Sarah, you, a new little life that needed care and guidance and love. He felt like he had purpose and so much of that was thanks to you. 

And of course, once you came into yourself again with Ellie, you’d started doing what you always did: make things better. Of course, you just being there would have made things better. But you stepped right into loving his daughter like she was your own. He’d come home from a job site and find you in the yard with the girls, a makeshift soccer goal set up, Ellie in her bouncer in the shade, you in the goal to give Sarah a chance to practice shooting. 

“Dad, look!” She’d yell before Joel even got the door all the way open on the truck. 

“I’m watchin’,” he’d smile and look over her head to you and you’d give him a wink. And he did watch as Sarah dribbled the ball toward you and faked out her kick, making you go one way while the ball went the other. 

“See?” She beamed, her smile huge. “I’m going to score so many goals next season!” 

“You really are,” he kissed her forehead. “Great job, baby girl!” 

You helped him with his business plan. You gave him an audience while he practiced playing guitar with a plan to go talk to Jimmy and see if he’d let him play at the bar again, like he did when he was young. You’d kick him playfully as the two of you sat on opposite ends of the couch with your legs overlapping his in the middle, just like you had when you were kids. You made him dinner and made him laugh and made him want to kiss you so bad he wondered if it was possible to explode with wanting. 

You did so much for him. Why couldn’t he figure out a goddamn way to give it back to you? 

The venue finally opened and you laced your fingers with Joel’s as you worked your way through the press of people, trying to make it close to the stage. 

“This is so weird,” you said, looking back over your shoulder to Joel, standing at your back. “What do we do? Dance? Pretend this is a regular concert? Do we get a beer?” 

“If you want a beer, Goldie, I’ll get you one,” Joel smiled a little. “I think it’s fine if we just stand here until they come on and try and get his attention when they do. But… well, if you feel like you can have a good time, I think you should.” 

Your face pinched at that, like you thought maybe you shouldn’t even consider something as insignificant as your own happiness. 

“Think this’ll be easier with a drink,” he said, making an executive decision. Maybe having fun when trying to track down your sister when she was fuck knows where and left you with her infant daughter was insane but fuck it, being miserable while doing it wasn’t making it any easier. “Be back.” 

You looked like you were about to protest but he slipped away from you and into the people starting to press into the pit, working his way against the flow of bodies to the bar. He got himself a whiskey soda and you a vodka sour because that’s what you’d get with your fake ID when the two of you would sneak into places like this when you were kids. He smiled a little, thinking about that as he went to find you again, how you’d pretended like it wasn’t really breaking the rules since you were just helping Joel do research for how to break into the music business. You’d smile at him, your eyes so bright from the stage lights and say “Someday, that’ll be you up there” and he thought - even then - that you might be the best thing he’d ever seen. 

Joel was working his way back through the crowd to you, living in that time long past for a moment, when he saw you toward the front of the pit. But he didn’t have a chance to really enjoy the sight of you all decked out in your concert clothes. Instead, there was a man next to you, his hand on the small of your back as you leaned away from him and Joel’s blood got hot. 

“…just for a little while,” the man was saying, trying to step closer to you. 

“No thanks,” you said, your tone sharp. 

“C’mon, we’ll get you a drink and…” 

“Hey,” Joel said, stopping right behind the man, crowding his space. The guy was tall but not as tall as Joel and he had to tilt his head back to look him in the face. “You botherin’ my girl?” 

The man’s eyes darted to you before going back to Joel. 

“She didn’t…” the man began before puffing himself up, straightening his spine as much as he could. But the top of his head still only reached Joel’s eyes and he quickly deflated. “Look man, all she had to do was say she had a boyfriend and I would’ve backed off, alright? Think your problem is with your girl…” 

“No,” Joel said, jaw tight. “My problem’s with you. Don’t matter if she’s got a boyfriend or not, she says she ain’t interested? She ain’t interested. Learn some fuckin’ respect. Or do you need me to teach you?” 

The man looked Joel up and down, like he was weighing his chances. Joel just stood his ground. He wasn’t about to let this asshole just touch you without permission. An excuse to hit him would be welcome. 

“Fuckin’ asshole,” the guy muttered, turning to go. Joel watched him leave before turning back to you and handing you your drink. 

“You alright?” He asked. 

“Fine,” you said, watching him closely. “Thank you for that. He just was not backing off. I forgot what it’s like to go to places like this and deal with guys like that…” 

“Shouldn’t have to deal with guys like that,” Joel said, clenching his jaw. “Fuckin’ asshole should know how to take a no. But probably shouldn’t leave you unattended again, apparently the second I walk away some jackass swoops in…” 

You laughed a little and rolled your eyes as the crowd started cheering and you turned to face the stage as the opener came out. Joel slipped his hand around your waist to your stomach, his fingers splaying wide over the satin fabric of your shirt and he wanted to touch the silk of your skin below and he tried not to think about that. He tugged you back against him and you frowned, looking over your shoulder to him. 

“To be safe,” he said in your ear. “Keep other assholes’ hands off ya.” 

You smiled a little and Joel held you close as the first two bands played, your back pressed tightly against his front. The more of your cocktail you drank, the more you moved almost absently to the music and Joel had to focus to not get lost in you. 

It was easier to remember exactly what the two of you were doing here when the headlining band - Josh’s band - took the stage. The crowd became deafening when they came out and you grabbed Joel’s arm when the guitarist jogged to his place under the lights. 

“That’s Josh!” You yelled over your shoulder to Joel. 

He evaluated the man quickly. Your brother-in-law was on the other side of the stage, stocky and shorter than Joel’d expected him to be, in ripped jeans and a tight gray t-shirt, a guitar strapped across his body. He lifted the neck of it and played the first chord, the lead singer running out and taking the mic. 

“C’mon,” Joel said, keeping his grip on you and trying to guide you through the crush of people toward the other side of the stage, hoping that Josh would see you and recognize you in the crowd. “Try and get closer.” 

It took some time, a few songs passing before the two of you could make it over there and even then, getting to the very front of the pit was basically impossible, fans pressed tight to the barricades and reaching for the band. 

Still, it didn’t stop you from trying to get his attention, your arms up over your head and screaming his name. When he thought the set might be winding down and Josh still hadn’t acknowledged you, Joel started looking for where to take you to try to get back stage and, when the band left the stage and you deflated, he took your hand. 

“C’mon,” he said. “Think we can try and get to ‘em this way…” 

He tugged you along behind him, keeping a tight hold on you as he led you to a side door. He jiggled the handle but it was locked. 

“Shit,” you swore, looking back to where people were leaving. 

“Any security?” Joel asked, voice low. 

You frowned and looked around for a moment. 

“No, but…” 

He grimaced but forced the handle down with all his weight, the old lock popping. 

“Did you just break the door?” You asked quietly, brows raised. 

Joel shrugged. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he said, ushering you through it and quickly pulling it shut behind him. 

“Now where?” You whispered it even though there was no one around to hear you. 

“Uh,” he looked around, trying to remember where he thought the green rooms would be as he looked down the hall. “This way, I think.” 

He led you down the cinderblock passage, things getting louder as he did - a good sign, he thought. And then, he turned a corner and walked smack into a security guard. 

“Sorry,” Joel said quickly, tucking you behind him and hoping the guy would forget it and move on. 

No such luck. 

“You two supposed to be back here?” The guard asked, looking you and Joel up and down. “Show me your passes.” 

“We don’t have any,” you said, stepping out from behind Joel before he could stop you. “But I’m trying to talk to Josh Williams from Shine Anthem, he’s my brother-in-law and…” 

“Don’t really give a shit who you say you are,” the guard said, reaching for Joel. “You can’t just come back here so I’m going to have to ask you to…” 

Joel was trying to figure out some kind of plan when he heard your name being called from behind you and then the man from the stage was there, running up and damn near tackling you, bending low to tuck his shoulder into your chest so he could lift you into a hug as you yelped. 

He put you down quickly, though, a broad smile on his face and a glassy look in his eyes. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” He beamed, looking you up and down. “Should’ve called! I’d have gotten you tickets and passes and shit instead of you hangin’ out out there with everyone else!” 

“Well, it’s not like I had your number,” you said, a little incredulous as Josh leaned around you to the guard. 

“They’re good,” Josh said to him. “This is my girl’s sister! She never fuckin’ visits, this is great!” 

You turned to Joel, a look of almost total disbelief on your face as Josh threw an arm around your shoulders and started guiding you down the hall. Joel just shrugged at the security guard and followed, you looking back over your shoulder to make sure he was still there. 

“She didn’t say anything about you coming, either,” he said, an almost odd familiarity to his tone. From what Joel knew, you’d only spent a little time with your sister’s husband, it wasn’t as though the two of you were close. “Could’ve called her, too! She can always get ahold of me, always answer the phone for that girl…” 

“Have you seen her?” You asked. “Because…” 

“Seen her?” He laughed. “She’s here! It’s like old times, s’been great! God I love that girl. She’s with the guys right now, nice to have her around again…” 

“She’s here?” You stopped and turned to stare at him. “Right now?” 

“Yeah!” He said brightly. “This is great, a regular family reunion! She’ll be so excited to see you, she’s always saying she wishes you’d come back home more. Who’s this guy, by the way? Not your husband, he’s that old dude, right?” 

“This is my friend Joel,” you said quickly before trying to refocus him. “Josh, I need to see Anna. Right now.” 

“Alright, alright,” he said, stopping outside a heavy metal door and turning to Joel. “You party? Because we can do shit up, I know this one’s not usually down but…” 

“We’re not here to fucking party, Josh!” You snapped. “I need to see Anna! Right now!” 

“OK!” He put his hands up and gave Joel a look as if to say ‘women, right?’ before opening the door. “She’s right here.”

The space was smaller than Joel had been expecting. Maybe he had idealized expectations for a rockstar’s green room since he’d once dreamed of being one but this one was small, with a few couches that were crowded with people, the air clouded with acrid smoke so thick he couldn’t help but cough. 

“Ahhh!” Anna threw her arms in the air in glee from the corner of one of the couches, where she was perched on the lap of some other band member. “My sister’s here! Look, guys, it’s my big sister!” 

Joel clenched his jaw and looked over to you, ready to help you if you needed it. The look on your face was hard for him to place, your expression so strangely foreign. Of all the faces Joel knew, he knew yours maybe best of all - Sarah the only exception. He knew how you looked when you were lost in thought, when you were about to cry, when you were coming, when you laughed so hard you cried. But you were so rarely angry that he didn’t recognize it, not at first. 

But your eyes narrowed and your hands curled into fists at your sides and for a moment, just a moment, Joel thought you were going to scream. 

But you didn’t. Instead, you steeled yourself and marched purposefully, forcefully, over to your sister. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, standing over her. “This is what you’re doing? You’re here, partying with your ex-husband and the guys you used to fuck around with while I’m home with your daughter?” 

The room had gone silent, Anna staring up at you with wide eyes. 

“Daughter?” Josh said quietly and Joel looked over at him. He was staring at Anna in disbelief and disappointment. “Wait, you had a kid? When…” 

“You didn’t even tell him?” You scoffed at her. “Of course you wouldn’t, why would you? Why would you ever consider anyone but yourself in your decision making process? You never have before! Hell, you never even really think of yourself, do you? Not your future self, not the person you really need to be worried about because if you did, you wouldn’t be fucking high right now!” 

“I’m not high!” She got up quickly, stumbling a little as she did. 

“Bullshit you’re not high,” you snapped. “Look at you!” 

“I’m not…” She lowered her voice, as though that would make much difference in a room as quiet and small as this one. “It’s just some pot, OK? It’s not like…” 

“Oh, because you’re not snorting anything or injecting anything, it doesn’t count?” You asked, brows raised, incredulous. “Because this isn’t the first step to you ending up back in the hospital after you OD again or worse, just dead somewhere?” 

“You ODed?” Josh said weakly, going over to her, running his fingers through her hair. “Baby, you never told me this, why didn’t you tell me this?” 

“It was last year,” she said. “You were touring, it wasn’t that bad…” 

“She almost died,” you said to Josh. “And she had been sober until you came along, so congratulations on dragging her down yet again.” 

You turned your attention back to your sister. 

“Were you ever planning on coming home?” You asked. “Or were you going to just party like a goddamn teenager without a care in the world until you wound up dead?” 

Anna just stared down at her hands and you shook your head. 

“I should have fucking known.” 

You stalked off without another word, slamming the door behind you as you went. 

The room was awkwardly silent for a moment, Josh looking at Joel apologetically. 

“I didn’t know,” he said quietly, his eyes wide, all the casual familiarity gone. Instead, he was almost uncomfortably earnest and almost sad. “I never would have… I didn’t know.” 

Joel looked back toward the door for a moment before he sighed and looked at Josh again. 

“We’re here ’til the morning,” he said. “Gimme your phone.” 

Josh handed it over and Joel typed his number into a text message before sending himself a message that had the name and address of the hotel you were at with the room number. He gave the phone back before he turned to Anna. 

“She loves you,” Joel said. “And she loves Ellie. You should come home.” 

She sniffed but just turned her head, looking away from him. 

“Right,” Joel said. “Well… Should know Ellie misses you. And we’ll be at that hotel until 11 a.m. tomorrow.” 

He had to run to catch up with you, finding you standing outside with tears in your eyes as you paced. 

“Hey,” Joel said and you looked at him, quickly drying your eyes on the insides of your wrists. “You alright?” 

“No,” you sniffed. “No, I just fucked everything up, I shouldn’t have done that, who knows what…” 

“Hey,” Joel cut you off, pulling you into his chest. “S’OK.” 

“Easy for you to say,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. 

He sighed, holding you for a moment, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“C’mon,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “Let’s go back to the hotel. Pick up some beer on the way.” 

You checked in with Tommy on the way and Joel tried to keep his distance from you once the two of you got back to the hotel room and you’d calmed down a little. He’d gotten the two damn beds for a reason and it wasn’t because he wanted to be apart from you. It was because he knew that things between the two of you had gotten too close since you’d shown up on his doorstep with Ellie in your arms. Even if the sex had never happened, it was too much like being with you, going through life with you the way he had been. It couldn’t continue, not without destroying him. 

So Joel stayed on his bed and you stayed on yours, a six pack on the night stand in the middle and he cursed the pretext of it. The space was smart, he knew that. But goddamn, couldn’t he just hold you as long as you’d let him? Couldn’t he just live in that liminal place for as long as he could manage it? Wouldn’t the damage be worth it in the end if he did? He didn’t know. He just stayed on his bed, finding some stupid action movie with a bad TV edit to put on, one where the dialogue choices were bad enough that you were laughing so hard that you spilled beer on your bedspread. 

“Oh shit,” you swore, putting the now nearly empty bottle on the nightstand and jumping up to run to the bathroom and grab towels. Joel joined you, mopping up the mess as best you could. “God, so much for having one night where I don’t end up covered in something. If it’s not spit-up at home it’s beer here…” 

“At least this didn’t end up in your hair,” Joel smiled a little and you laughed. 

“Yeah, thank god for small miracles. And at least it’s just my bed so you don’t have to deal with it, too.” 

“You don’t need to deal with it, either,” he said before he even thought about it. “You can just sleep in my bed.”

Not that he really needed to think about it. 

“You don’t need to do that,” you waved him off. “I’ve already taken over half your bed at home, you deserve your space. I’ll be fine sleeping in spilled beer for a night.” 

“Goldie, c’mon,” he said, realizing just how close he was standing to you. How easy it would be to kiss you. “This ain’t some frat house, not about to just make you sleep in that shit.” 

You bit your lower lip, uncertain, and he had to fight the urge to tug that soft flesh from between your teeth. He wanted to bite that lip, kiss it, run his thumb over it. 

“What?” He asked, desire edging into his voice whether he wanted it to or not. 

“What about distance?” You asked quietly, breathily. 

“Distance is overrated,” he said, tightening his hold on the towels so he wouldn’t grab you and kiss you the way he was so fucking desperate to do. 

He tried to make himself calm down in the few minutes you were in the bathroom, getting changed into pajamas and setting the beer-soaked towels out to dry. He wished he could jerk off because that might be the only thing that actually put him back inside his own goddamn head for a moment. Maybe he could once you were asleep, just lock himself in the bathroom and fuck his hand to the memory of you and try to keep your name off his tongue when he came. 

But that wouldn’t help now as he watched you cross the room in the little shorts and tank top you’d brought to sleep in, all but mesmerized by the bounce of your breasts when free of your bra when you walked or the way the soft cotton of your bottoms just skimmed the edge of your ass and he could see the swell of flesh there, almost out of sight, almost out of reach, close enough to tempt but far enough to not belong to him. 

“I really didn’t mean to put you out again,” you said as you climbed into bed beside him. “I really didn’t mean to the first time, either… In case I haven’t said it, I think I owe you my life for everything you’ve done for me and Ellie. I would have drowned in this alone.” 

“You’re not putting me out, Goldie girl,” he said, smiling a little. “Hell, it’s been nice, having the two of you around. Sarah’s been beggin’ me for a little sister since she could talk, think this is the closest she’s getting for a while…” 

You laughed a little and then sighed, leaning your head back against the headboard. 

“How bad do you think I fucked up with Anna?” You asked, watching him. 

He sighed. 

“I dunno… S’not like I know much about addiction or what she’s going through right now. But I can’t say I blame you for what you said. She knows you love her, that you want what’s best for her.” 

You sighed and looked down at your hands, picking at your thumbnail for a moment. 

“She’s the one who found our mom, did I ever tell you that?” 

“No,” Joel said quietly, watching you closely. 

“She did,” you nodded at your hands. “I can’t imagine what that would have been like for her. I only saw Mom after the funeral home had her, I didn’t have to… I wasn’t there for Anna after that. It’s no wonder she dropped out, found trouble, tried to take care of shit with drugs…” 

“That’s not on you,” Joel said. 

“Isn’t it?” You looked at him. “I was the big sister, I was who she had and I left her to cope with it alone and the first time I try to actually help her with something, I fuck that up, too.” 

“You were young,” Joel said. “Basically a kid.” 

“I was 20 years old,” you replied. “I was old enough to have a fiance and a career path and a life away from here. I could have moved back, I could have stepped up, I could have done something but I just…” 

“It’s not your job to take care of everybody, baby,” he said gently. 

“What if I fucked up so bad this time that she doesn’t come back?” You whispered. “What if she leaves Ellie with me forever and I can’t do it and…” 

You sniffed and looked back at your hands, a tear slipping down your cheek and Joel just tugged you against him, tucking you against his chest, kissing the crown of your head. 

“We’ll deal with it,” he said, tracing his fingertips along your hairline soothingly. “Whatever happens, I’ve got you. It’s OK.” 

You nodded wetly into his chest and he held you like that for a while, your body slowly molding to his until you were soft and warm and pressed entirely against him and your tears slowed. 

“You doin’ better?” He asked eventually and you nodded against him, sitting up and sniffling a little. He smiled, reaching out and trying your tears with a swipe of his thumb, your cheek fitting against his palm. “See? Not so bad.” 

“No,” you smiled a little back. “It’s not.” 

Your eyes were on his and he was so close to you, so close that he could almost touch your nose with his. 

So he did, moving ever so slightly closer so your skin was brushing his own. Your breath hitched when he did and instead of finding relief in the contact, it stoked a fire he hadn’t realized was burning, low and hot and sure, inside him. 

“Joel,” you breathed. “Please…” 

“It’s OK Goldie girl,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.” 

He kissed you then, the concept of distance so far at the back of his mind as he did, the spearmint of your toothpaste tinged with hops from the beer on your breath. 

It was hesitant at first. He wasn’t sure if it was just him holding back or if you were, too, but all pretense was gone almost immediately. You were twisting in the sheets, moving to face him, to put your arms around his neck and press yourself closer to him as his hands ranged over you, trying to touch as much of you as he could reach before you slipped through his fingers yet again. 

He pulled at your clothes, your mouth separating from his only long enough to get your shirts off, and you moaned into him, fingers fumbling with his pants, pulling the waistband down to free his already hard and aching cock. He palmed you through your shorts, your cunt so hot and wet he could feel it through the fabric and if he thought too long about what being inside you would feel like, he was going to come before he even had a chance to fuck you. 

Your hand wrapped around his length and you started working him, making him groan and you seemed hellbent on trying to move closer to him somehow, practically squirming as you worked yourself against his hand while pulling yourself toward him. 

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, breathless, as he tugged your shorts down, watching with rapt attention as your skin was revealed to him. You were glistening between your thighs and he groaned at the sight, tossing your shorts and panties aside before he teased your little, swollen clit. 

“Fuck,” you panted, closing your eyes for a moment. “Holy… I need…” 

“What?” He asked after a moment, working your clit harder. “What do you need, baby?” 

“You inside me,” your eyes opened again, your pupils blown. Your hips moved almost of their own accord against him and he moaned. “Please Joel, please, fuck, it hurts, I need…” 

“Take what you need,” he said, cock aching so bad he thought he might explode with hit. 

You just nodded before moving to straddle him. He sat back against the headboard and took your waist in his hands as your dripping slit brushed against his leaking head, his hips involuntarily jerking up toward you at the temptation of you there, hot and wet and wanting. 

Your eyes met his - so wide and vulnerable - before you lined him up with your grasping entrance and took him inside yourself in one, swift motion, 

He gasped at the feeling of it, how your velvet tightness made room for him inside of you, how your walls stretched over him, how you were so warm and soft inside, your wetness already making a mess of him. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” he breathed, watching you closely. “So goddamn good…” 

You just gave him a strangled little moan as you looked down between your bodies to where he was entering you, panting for breath. You rolled your hips against him, slowly and deliberately at first, pulling a groan from him that made him thankful you were in some shitty hotel room and not home where his daughter would hear him because he didn’t think he could stop it if he tried. He didn’t want to stop it. He wanted to let himself get lost in you and your body and your pleasure until the only thought left in his mind was you. 

You started to ride him in earnest then, your pace increasing, your clit finding his pubic bone and grinding against him there as he thrust up into you, finding those deep, soft places inside your tight heat, places that made your channel start to flutter over him in little shocks of pleasure. 

He watched as you stifled your moan as he hit one of those places inside of you and he pressed there deeper, harder, holding you to him for a moment before his thumb moved to your clit, working you in tight circles. 

“Want to hear you, baby,” he panted before kissing and sucking at the tender skin of your throat. “Don’t gotta be quiet here, lemme hear you.” 

You nodded quickly, desperately, and his hands ran up your back as you arched into him, fingers digging into your flesh, guiding you over him as you rode him hard and fast and he met you stroke for stroke. You moaned, your body tightening around him and he took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing and turning your moan into a needy little cry. 

“That’s it baby,” he panted against your skin. “Just take it. Come for me, make yourself come on my cock, c’mon.” 

Your movements became faster, more uncertain, your pussy so tight around him it would probably hurt in any other context but because it was you, like this, it was heaven. 

“Joel!” You cried, burying him deep inside as you exploded around him, your muscles throbbing over him. He held you close and tight and drank in the sight and sound of your pleasure for a moment before giving over to his own, coming hard and deep inside of you, rope after seemingly endless rope of his spend spilling into you. 

He held you close and tight like that as the two of you came back down from your shared high, buried inside you where it felt so much like he belonged he thought his heart might burst with it. 

Eventually, you sat back from him, your eyes searching his for a moment, a hint of panic at the edges. He ignored the sting in his chest that came with that and instead just cupped your cheek. 

“It’s OK baby,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.” 

You just watched him for another moment before you nodded and slowly, gently, pulled yourself away from him, settling against him on the bed. 

He had the fleeting thought that he should go, get a washcloth, clean the two of you up but he couldn’t bring himself to move, afraid if he lost this closeness with you now he might never get it back. Instead, he stayed there, trailing his fingers up and down your bare arm as he held you. 

“What are we doing?” You asked quietly, eventually. “We can’t keep doing this, Joel, we have responsibilities, we’re not teenagers anymore, there are kids involved now, we….” 

“Why do we have to be doing something?” He asked, adjusting so he could actually look at you. 

You pulled back from him, frowning a little. 

“What?” 

“Why can’t we just…” he paused, trying to find the words. Words he shouldn’t say but that he couldn’t seem to stop. “We’re basically living together. We have so much else goin’ on right now it’s not like we’re dating anyone. Why don’t we just…” 

He trailed off, hoping you’d fill in the rest. 

“Do you mean like…” You paused. “Friends with benefits or something?” 

“Yeah,” he said, even though calling you that felt so wrong that it was something like blasphemy. “Then we can just… do this when we need it. Don’t need to be a big deal, it can just…” 

“Right,” you said, looking from his face to his chest before nodding. “Yeah… That… we can try that. As long as you promise it won’t ruin things with us. I can’t lose you again, Joel. I just can’t.” 

“I know, baby,” he said quietly, kissing your forehead. “Can’t lose you, either.” 

“OK,” you said softly, nuzzling closer. “Friends.” 

“With benefits,” he said. 

“With benefits,” you said. 

The term felt so wrong that it took time to settle in him, reducing what he felt for you to something as simple as just friendship with sex. But there was something hopeful in him, too. Something that clung, vicious and hard, to the thought that he could have this with you, live in that place between worlds where he could pretend that you were his when he came home to you because he got to fit himself inside you every night. This, he thought, would be worth the destruction. 

He tried to dwell on the comfort of that as the two of you got packed the next morning, moving slowly but in sync with each other in the small room, one bed stained with beer and the other your indiscretions. 

Joel had given up hope that Anna would show - glad he hadn’t told you that he’d given Josh the room number so you wouldn’t be let down by it - when he carried your bags to the car in the morning but froze when he saw your brother-in-law standing outside an Uber, his arms crossed, watching the hotel room door. Joel just gave him a nod before going to put the bags in the trunk, Josh meeting him there. 

“Didn’t think you were comin’,” Joel said, closing the lid with a little too much force. 

Josh nodded slowly, staring at Joel’s feet. 

“Needed to talk things through with her first,” he said before meeting his eyes. “I didn’t know any of that shit, swear I didn’t. If I did, I wouldn’t have… I guess it doesn’t matter. I talked with her. She told me everything. I think everything, anyway.” 

Joel just nodded, giving him a chance to continue on his own terms. 

“I’m not good for her right now,” he said. “Shit, probably never was but I’m smart enough to know better now and I love her too much to let her get hurt because of me.” 

“So what are you going to do about it?” Joel asked. “Because saying that kind of shit don’t mean much if you just keep letting it happen.” 

“You’re right,” Josh said. “She’s in the car. She agreed to go home with you guys and go to rehab. Back to rehab, I guess.” 

Joel nodded again, looking toward the car, just making out the outline of Anna sitting in the back through the tinted window. 

“You’re doing the right thing,” Joel said. 

“Is she here?” Josh asked. Joel jerked his thumb toward the hotel room but Josh shook his head. “Not… I mean the baby. Ellie? Is she here?” 

“No,” Joel said. “She’s home, with my brother. He’s takin’ good care of her, he watched my daughter plenty when she was Ellie’s age.” 

Josh clenched his jaw but nodded anyway. 

“Probably for the best,” he said. “I’m not… I should figure my own shit out before I meet her. But I want to. I will. I’m going to.” 

Joel wasn’t sure he believed him but then, he’d done plenty to try to make himself worthy of being Sarah’s dad. Maybe Josh had it in him, too. 

“Joel, do you have the…” 

You fell silent as you came up beside him, one hand in your bag like you were looking for something, your mouth open in shock when you realized who he was standing with. 

“Hey sis,” Josh smiled awkwardly. 

“Hey,” you said quietly, eyes wide. 

“Anna’s in the car,” he said. “We talked. She’s going to head back with you, figure shit out.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, voice wet. 

“Yeah,” Josh said. “It’s… it’s the right thing. Just… don’t be too hard on her. She’s hurting.” 

“I won’t,” you said quickly. “I’m sorry I said what I did last night, I didn’t…” 

“It’s OK,” Anna said. Joel hadn’t even noticed her getting out of the car but she was there now, one arm crossed protectively over herself. “I know I didn’t give you much choice.” 

“Anna,” you breathed before all but throwing yourself at her, flinging your arms around her neck to pull her close. “I’m so glad you’re OK.” 

She laughed wetly as she hugged you back. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

Josh went to help her get her things from the Uber and you looked to Joel, drying your eyes on your wrists. 

“How’d you do it?” You asked quietly. 

He shrugged. 

“Don’t think I did much of anything at all,” he said, watching you closely. “Just told her the truth.” 

“Whatever you did,” you said, stepping closer to him. “Thank you.” 

You hugged him, your arms wrapping around him and he could feel every line of your body against his and he held you close. He couldn’t help but hold you close. 

“‘Course, baby,” he said. “Do anything for you.” 

He tried not to think about how true that was or how much that scared him as he gathered you up and took you and your sister home, where you belonged. 

A/N: I'm so sorry this took an eternity to write. My carpel tunnel flared up something fierce and put me out of commission for a while. Thank you so much for being patient!

Goldie and Joel are doing... something. It's something. I promise they're getting somewhere, they really are! There are just a few more bumps in the road until they do. I just really love writing these two as they work through these long-held assumptions and insecurities! Thank you for wanting to be there for it.

Love you!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 4 (e.w)

we back in this shit like we never left y’all 😳

wc;cw 10.7k ohhh not again, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, FLUFF i know shocker, but slight angst bc i’m devious like that🤭, domestic ellie with a cat, some crack :p, SMUT UH OHHH MDNI, dubcon(ellie is high), weed, sexual tension yall already knowww, thigh riding, fingering, eating out no restaurant, mult. orgasms, squirting, dirty talk, one pussy slap, overstim, ellie’s tongue is pierced yes that’s a warning lol, masturbation, more stunna girl promo someone pay me, this is cute tbh lol

“Your girlfriend is living lavish. GYYYAATTT— “ 

“Arya, can you please shut up! She’s not my girlfriend!” 

“No bitch, you needa shut the hell up! I drove you here and I will leave you!” 

You and an irritated Arya (she’s not herself when she’s hungry!) were parked outside of Ellie’s very… expensive looking apartment building. It looked like there were about thirty floors to it with lots of windows. You knew she had accumulated a following due to the reaction people had to her on New Year’s Eve, but you weren’t expecting her to be living like an actual celebrity. She was fucking rich, now. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

Arya must’ve noticed the nervous, intimidated look on your face as you gazed at the building because you immediately felt a soft hand on yours. “Hey, you’re gonna be fine. She seems more than willing to talk and apologize! I’m gonna be here the whole time and you come down when you’re ready, okay?” 

You looked over to your best friend—the light of your life—and nodded. You’ve never been so appreciative of someone before. She made you feel so calm—

“With that being said, just know if she says anything outta line, I’m telling your sister and we’re jumpin’ her ass, no question!” she said seriously before encouragingly slapping your thigh. “Go ‘head, love you.” 

“…Love you more.” She made you feel calm enough.

Your friends are so…. supportive!

You exited Arya’s car as you waved to her, her giving you two thumbs up in return. 

Here goes nothing. 

You took in the building as you entered…. this was some Michelin star shit! 

Marble floors, white walls edged with gold frames, women wrapped in trench coats with puppies in their purses! What the fuck is going on—

You were even starting to second guess your attire. You wore a simple black puffer, hoodie, and sweatpants. Should you have dressed… better? More presentable? You were starting to get a bit insecure. 

You pulled your phone out to distract yourself from second-guessing your appearance (or lack thereof!) and opened your texts with Ellie. You started typing. 

hey. i’m downstairs. 

You immediately saw her chat bubble pop up before her reply came through. 

cool i’ll be down in 2 mins 

You sighed a heavy sigh as you shut your phone off. Don’t overthink, you thought. You’re here to talk and that’s it! Nothing more, nothing less. 

Don’t lie, slut! 

Your brain hates you! It fucking hates you—!

Your train of thought immediately shut off as you saw Ellie walk out of the elevator. She looked so…warm. She had on a black beanie and sweatsuit, little marijuana fuzzy socks, and slippers. 

You missed seeing this side of her. So relaxed and comfortable. 

She walked over to you with a timid expression before finally muttering a hi, and you muttered one back. 

You could tell she was nervous: her thumbs were fidgeting, she wouldn’t look you in your eyes for too long, and she was licking at her slightly chapped lips. 

“We should, um… go upstairs?” She asked quietly, like speaking too loudly would frighten you. 

You only nodded gently. She nodded back before turning, leading you towards the elevators. 

You found out Ellie lived on the… nineteenth floor. What the fuck? Wasn’t the golden rule of apartments: the higher you are, the more expensive it is?! What the fuck was she doing up here?

“My place is down the hall,” she said over her shoulder. You took note of the shakiness in her voice. You’ve never seen her so skittish before. Was it because of you? 

She unlocked the third from the last door and opened it, allowing you entry. You took in her place and… holy fuck!

Her apartment… her loft was fucking immaculate!

Her living room was huge: plush, gray couch that was stocked with matching pillows, black and green rugs littering the floor, TV mounted on the wall, black glass coffee table, and her dual monitor setup (you see that black kitten ears headset! was she a fucking gamer?!). There were black details everywhere on the walls, floors, and spiral staircase that led into her bedroom what the fuck?! You could see where she slept… and you were still downstairs! 

And her fucking black marble kitchen! You were in love! You never cooked a day in your life, but you will gladly start now if it means you can stay in there forever! 

“Ellie, who the fuck are you?” you asked, shocked and dazed. 

She seemed to relax at your question as she softly chuckled, shyly looking down at her socked feet. 

“I’ll tell you everything you wanna know. Come sit with me.” She said, nodding towards her couch. It was slightly sunken in; she must’ve been napping there! You unlaced your boots and removed your coat, holding it in your hands. As you followed her towards the couch to sling your coat over the back, a soft jingle, followed by soft paddling on the floor caught you off guard. You turned to see a small, green-eyed Bombay cat next to the kitchen counter, curiously staring at you. 

You let out a gasp of excitement at the little baby before looking at a surprised Ellie, grabbing her wrist joyfully. 

“Ellie, oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me you had a cat?! It’s so cute, boy or girl?! How old is it— “ 

“She’s a.. she’s a girl. Seven months.” 

“She’s soooo cute! Oh my god! I always wanted a cat! What’s her name? Oh, look at her little princess collar— “

You turned back to her: she had an expression that you didn’t recognize, and you hadn't realized how close you’d gotten during your jumpy, hyper kitty questions. You felt her breathing against your face as she studied it, and you studied her back. 

Why were you suddenly thinking about that night? You kissing her, her kissing back, her grabbing you like she never wanted to let you go again. Her eyes slowly dropped to your mouth, and yours did the same. All you had to do was lean forward again—

A quiet meow! snapped you out of your lustful haze before you looked down and backed away. You noticed Ellie hadn’t moved from her position when you looked back up, eyes still searching for… something. 

“She’s.. she’s cute,” you said as you cleared your throat, walking towards the cushiony space. “Let’s sit.” 

She silently nodded and sat next to you. 

Deep breath. Exhale. 

Let’s get this over with! your brain shouted. 

“I’m so sorry. I never regretted anything so much in my life. I treated your sister like fucking garbage—I treated you like garbage and I’ve never felt so terrible— “

“Ellie, breathe,” you cut off her nervous mumbles. You just sat down! “I’m not… upset with you anymore. And you're not the only one who fucked up, either. It wouldn’t be an apology if I didn’t take some accountability too.” 

You watched her relax before confusion overtook her expression. You explained yourself, blushing as you recalled the events of that night. “I know… New Year’s wasn’t the best first meeting after…. you know. I wanted to apologize for how I… reacted and what I did. It wasn’t okay at all—” 

There was a moment of silence before she broke it, eyebrows still pulled downward as she stuttered. “You don’t... You don’t have to apologize for that. I um…. like, it was fine. Well, it wasn’t fine—we were drunk and whatever, but, yeah, I don’t think of you differently, or, what I mean is— “

You laughed lightly at her nervousness. She shook her head with a sheepish smile before she hit her mint elf bar that she pulled out of her pocket, blowing the smoke away from your face. 

“I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m scared shitless.” 

“I think you’re making it obvious,” you said as you chuckled and continued. 

She paused as she collected her thoughts, staring down at the couch. “I said a lot of… fucked up shit when I met up with your sister after everything happened. About her… about you. I don't know how much she told you but… I said things that I regretted immediately. I was angry and hurt… and I felt cornered, and I lashed out. Doesn’t excuse it at all, but… yeah, it was gross’n uncalled for.”

“She told me everything. All of it,” You tried to ignore the sting in your heart as you recalled that night. She nodded her head shamefully. You continued. 

“Why didn’t you reach out after your birthday?” You pressed as softly as you could manage. 

She didn’t answer immediately as you watched her breathe deeply. 

“I…” She stuttered before whispering. “I was scared.” 

“Of?” You pressed again, tone more urgent. 

“Of you both never talking to me again,” She said, confusing you before she clarified. “I held it off for so long because I needed to think about my approach. I felt if I immediately called you, you wouldn’t wanna talk to me because of how fresh it was. But I also…I don’t know, it’s fuckin’ stupid.” 

You shook your head at her. “I'm just…I’m confused because I never, like, hated you or anything like that after we left your party. I want you to know that,” you said seriously, your nerves making you stutter. “I was sad and embarrassed, but never… hateful, if that makes sense. Even when I tried to be afterwards, it never came.” 

You noticed her expression drop slightly at the mention of hate before she replied softly. “I’d understand if you did. What I said to you and your sister was fucking disgusting… I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for what I said.” 

“She’s been… stubborn, I won’t lie. I don’t know what state of mind she’s in when it comes to you, to be honest. I just know she’s still hurting.” 

Ellie nodded in acknowledgment as she looked down, but you could see the sorrowful look overtake her face at your admission. It made your heart stutter. You watched as she hit her nic again. 

Just as you were about to move to comfort her, your phone dinged, and dinged, from your pocket. You unlocked your phone and saw a slew of texts from Arya. 

ari: is she giving you “i’m sorry” head yet?

ari: im bored bro being a good friend is tiring 😐🙄

ari: i know her strap is bright red and THICK 

ari: like a fire hydrant!!

ari: how tf r u gonna walk outta that big ass building!!🚷🚷🚷

You clenched and blushed heavily at the suggestion, clicking your phone off and dropping it in your lap out of embarrassment. You looked back up at her with a mortified expression and she… was smirking. And then she smiled. And laughed. She’d been looking at your screen the whole time. Why didn’t you angle the screen away from her?!

She saw them. She saw the messages!

You want to die you want to die you want to die—

“Your friend’s funny,” she said as she blew out a waft of smoke around her giggles. 

“I’m—I’m so fuckin’ sorry, she’s crazy and gross! —“ 

She laughed harder and shook her head. “No, you're good, don’t worry.” 

You fell back on her couch (it felt like a fucking cloud!) with your face in your hands as you thought about the type of casket you wanted for your funeral. 

But… oh, fuck. 

You felt her body move on the couch before you felt her weight crawl on top of you and oh god what the fuck!

She pulled at your forearms to slide your hands off of your warm face, but you refused to open your eyes there was no way you’re opening your fucking eyes right now—

“Look at me.” 

You shook your head. She smelled so good, she smelled so good! Your body clenched tight, you were so horny, and you wanted her bad and was her dick like a fire hydrant?!—

“Open ‘em, c’mon, wanna see you!” you heard the smile in her voice. 

You missed her smile so bad, and you moved on autopilot, slowly opening your eyes and taking in the sight above you. She was cheesing so hard, a light blush painted across her freckles, beanie discarded and hair everywhere from her messing with it out of nervousness when you sat down. She looked so much more comfortable in your presence, and it made your heart skip with joy. You couldn’t help but smile back at her. 

What you didn’t expect was for her to take your wrists in her calloused hands, pin them either side of your head, and bend down to whisper it’s not red, it’s purple, but yeah! before you turned away from her to suffocate yourself in her cushions. They smelled like her why does the universe hate you—!

She started hysterically laughing as she let go of your wrists and plopped down next to you, and it made you want to cry: her laugh is so goofy and stupid and she snorts, but nobody could tell you that her laugh didn’t sound like angels singing in that moment. All you could do was watch her with the widest grin on your face. 

After she wiped the tears from her eyes, she met yours, her smile getting softer and her eyes gentler. She licked her lips before she subtly dropped her eyes to your mouth, and back up to meet your gaze again. You could feel her gently grazing her fingers across your forehead as you looked at each other. Your heart was pounding due to her closeness—

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THROW IT!)—

Your ringtone blared in the living room and you wanted to fucking scream. You sat up to reach for it before plopping back down, answering it. 

“BITCH, I’M STARVING! ARE Y’ALL DONE?!”

You heard Ellie snicker at your friend's blaring before she whispered a soft don’t leave yet. You sent her a reassuring smile and she sent one back. 

“Umm.. Ari?” 

“Girl… what?” 

“I’m staying, m’ sorry for keeping you waiting for this long.” 

You heard her let out a cackle before she wailed, “THE STRAP GOT YOU LIKE THAT?! WHEN’S THE WEDDING—!” 

You hung up before she could say anything more. Ellie’s booming laughter nearly shook the entire building. 

Your entire body was boiling hot. You heard another ding! from your device. You couldn’t help but read it, making sure to block the screen from Ellie's view this time. 

ari: I LOVE U!!!!! PLS BE SAFE 

ari: AND DONT B MAD AT ME BC HER PIPE CRAZY!!! XOXO

“Holy fuck!” Ellie said in between breaths, more tears running down her face. “I have to meet her, oh my god!” 

It was dark and you were still at Ellie’s. 

You’d been laying on the couch talking for hours about any and everything: how you and Arya are roommates on campus, your attempts at music production, your fucking YouTube channel and how she’d been a dedicated subscriber for months?! You let her talk about her life as well: her being a music engineer and producer (she started selling her beats to artists in the city months ago, rich bitches only!), how she, Dina, and Jesse are still very close (poor sissy), her being a literal fucking celebrity and a monarch for the creative community in your town. 

(“It was such a random night, I swear to god!” she squealed out with a smile as you listened to the story, laughing. “But… I felt like I wanted to help them, they were such nice people. And it blew up like crazy, it was insane! We couldn’t believe it.”)

You both rambled on and on! 

But, even with her transparency, there was still something heavy weighing on you that she hadn’t addressed. 

“Ellie?” 

“Hm?” 

“I don’t wanna… press on this, and don’t answer if you don’t feel comfortable, but… why did you and Cat break up?” You asked softly, staring at the wall behind her. 

You felt her shift next to you, and you immediately went to apologize for crossing a boundary, but she spoke before you could. 

“We um… we were kinda… bad for each other? That shit sounds so fuckin’ corny, but it’s true.” She said as she collected her thoughts. She continued when she gathered them. 

“We met really randomly. I was walking home from school, and we just bumped into each other in front of this gas station. She looked so cool to me and I was like oh my god, she’s perfect. I was still in my fucking gym clothes from P.E, like,” She said with a soft laugh. You smiled encouragingly. “I was in a really… bad place and she came in and made me not think about it all the time.” 

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “We’ve always been a little unstable, but it just… all went downhill after we moved to Cali. She was doing things I didn’t like, I was doing things she didn’t like and… yeah. She broke up with me and kicked me out.” 

“I’m really sorry, Ellie,” you said comfortingly. “I know you were together for a really long time, that’s terrible.” 

“No need to apologize, we just grew apart. It happens,” she replied softly, finally meeting your eyes. “And I got cat custody, so.” 

You both let out soft laughs as the familiar jingle rang from the kitchen. 

“I swear to god she was human at some point, she always comes when I mention her,” she commented with an eyeroll. 

“She’s such a sweetie pie, I wanna cuddle!” 

She quietly hummed in agreement before letting out gentle kissy noises to lure her pet over. 

Jingle, jingle, jinglejinglejingle—

And a cat appeared on the back of the couch. 

“Hi, princess!” You said giddily as you sat up, propping yourself up on your elbow as she sniffed your extended hand. “I’m a fuckin’ idiot, what’s the baby’s name?” 

“Duchess, fuckin’ vermin,” She said lightly, grin on her face as she sat up to grab the kitty and placed her in the open space between your bodies, planting kisses on her little head. 

“Hi, baby! You’re so cute!” You squealed out as she purred at your gentle pets, before she froze, looked off into the distance and ran off the couch like she saw a ghost. 

Ellie tsked and rolled her eyes at her fleeing form before she turned back to you. Did she move closer? Or did you? 

“Are you hungry?” She quietly asked, her eyes—once again—locked onto your mouth. 

“A little.” 

“My dad made lasagna last night, it’s in the fridge. We can order in too if you don’t want that.” 

“I love lasagna!” 

You watched her grin and look at your mouth one more time before she got up and waddled over to the kitchen. 

The lasagna was in the oven, and you were watching Ellie seal her rolled blunt at the kitchen table. 

She was lightly licking the wrap closed and you were staring hard. Like, really fucking hard. Your devious fucking brain almost allowed you to forget that she had a fucking black tongue piercing, and you were starting to squirm in your chair—

“You smoke?” 

You dazedly shook your head no. “Not really, on very rare occasions.” 

She nodded at you while she licked the paper before speaking. “If you wanna hit, just lemme know.” 

You nodded at her before redirecting your gaze back to her mouth. She was already done with sealing her blunt, but her lips were so fucking pretty and you couldn’t look away. 

Until she started smiling. Fuck. 

“You stare really hard,” she noted with a light laugh. 

“So do you!” You said as you dropped your gaze to her table. 

“Mhm,” She agreed with a nod, squinting her eyes at you. “But you try to act like you're not looking when you are. I want you to catch it, that’s the difference between me’n you.” 

She said it so casually and it made your pussy clench—

Ding!

“Be a doll and light this for me, gonna go get the goods,” She said, sliding the stocked ashtray and lighter over to you before lightly jogging towards the oven. 

You picked up the lighter and flicked it before picking up the blunt, awkwardly guiding it to the flame. 

Was this correct? Or were you supposed to light the other side? What the fuck—

“How the fuck do you live with a stoner like your sister and not know how to spark?” She playfully teased you from the counter, mitt-covered hands holding the hot pan of food. 

“Fuck off! I just told you I don’t smoke!” You said with a pout. 

She walked back over to you, placing the pan in the middle of the table and removing her paw oven mitts before taking the blunt and lighter from you. 

“You’re lighting it like a cig, here, lemme show you.” She said as she sat down. 

You watched her ignite the flame and brought it over to the tip of the blunt. She slowly rotated the blunt so all sides were burnt, a steady stream of smoke releasing from the lit end of it. 

She brought it to her lips and lightly puffed it twice and you didn’t realize how tight you were squeezing your fists together. 

She put the lighter down, properly ripping from the blunt and breathing in a little… sphere? before exhaling and what the fuck was that she’s so fucking sexy—

“See?” 

“I can see your charred lungs—!”

She busted out into laughter before she started choking, pointing towards the kitchen cabinets, whining out a go get the fuckin’ plates!

You giggled as you rushed over to grab two, along with forks and a knife before jogging back to your seat. 

You made Ellie a plate, cutting her a piece of the cheesy corner and sliding it in front of her, placing her fork on the dish. 

You felt her eyes staring holes into your face, and you slowly turned to her, holding her intense gaze as she brought the blunt up to her lips to hit it. She was watching your every move. All you were doing was putting the fucking casserole on the plate, but you felt so hot. 

You shyly turned away from her gaze and made yourself a plate and ate in comfortable silence (this lasagna was so fucking good, it rendered you speechless!) as Ellie smoked her roach down. You could still feel her staring! 

You both finished eating and you got up to stack and wash the dishes before Ellie stopped you with a nope! you’re my guest! go sit!

“Let me at least wash mine!” You said as you snagged your plate from her hand and ran to the sink, water running and sponge already in hand. 

Ellie threw her plate in the sink as you both giggled, reaching for your plate to snatch it back. You tussled with her, dodging her playful grasps for the dirty dish before you felt her front press all the way up against your back, trapping you between the counter and her. And you were immediately still.

And so was she. 

She slowly reached around you to turn the water off, grabbing the plate and sponge from your nonresistant hands to place them into the sink. Your hands and body were frozen as you stood there. You hadn’t realized how much you’d been anticipating her touch until you felt her hands on both your covered arms. She slowly moved them up before she brought her hands to your shoulders to squeeze them, sliding them over to gently massage her thumbs into the back of your neck. 

You nearly bent over this fucking sink! 

Your breathing picked up even more when she whispered out a this okay?, her breath making the hairs on your arms stand up. You nodded eagerly as you bit your lip. Your pussy nodded even faster! 

Desperate slut! I knew it!, your brain screamed, and for once, you didn’t listen. You just felt the hands on you. 

“You wanna know somethin’?” She whispered out against your neck. 

You nodded so hard. Anything anything anything—

She let out a light chuckle before she said, “I thought about you a lot after you left the bar, ‘s kinda embarrassing.” 

You spoke before you could think. “What… what'd you think about?” You breathed out, unsteady. You felt her hands clench tighter on your shoulders. 

You felt her smirk at your greedy tone against your neck, “Fuckin’ you up against that door, wanted to make you cry.” 

You were about to cry right now! Your pussy’s crying! She needs attention! Your hands were glued to the sink, but you slowly wrapped your foot around her ankle to subtly pull her closer to you. You wanted no space between the two of you, you needed her closer. 

You felt her drop her hands before she whispered out a turn around, baby.

You dropped your foot spun—whipped— around and it made her giggle. She was so, so close but you needed her closer, needed to breathe her in, needed her inside—

You looked at her, you looked at her so fucking hard. She's so gorgeous and handsome and sexy and you needed her like you needed air! You missed her so much! You couldn’t fucking breathe—!

Kissmekissmekissme—

“Stay the night,” she whispered out against your mouth. 

“Not fuckin’ going anywhere.” You could barely recognize your own voice; you needed her so badly. 

She hummed, satisfied with your answer before she grabbed your waist to pull you flush against her—just like she did that night—and kissed you. She kissed you breathless and you couldn’t think. She barely touched you and you were brainless! 

She smelled like weed and fucking pine and your legs felt like jelly! 

Her hands were everywhere: grabbing your hips, grabbing your ass, grabbing your tits through your clothes and you were moaning into her mouth, tugging at her sweatshirt to pull her closer. You felt her studded tongue slide against yours and you moaned again, louder. She hummed back, sucking your bottom lip into her mouth before releasing it to lick it again. You felt her thigh shove between yours in a hard grind against your pussy. You squeaked into her mouth as you impulsively moved downward to meet her thigh. 

“Wanted to cum on me so fuckin’ bad, right? Huh?” 

“Yeah, baby, shit— “

“Uh huh,” she hummed at your whines before pulling back, grabbing at your sweatpants with a rough tug downward. “Take these off, c’mon.” 

You yanked them down as Ellie squatted to help you get them from around your ankles. You stumbled as you lifted a leg to step out of one, but one of her hands came up to your hip to steady you, planting a gentle kiss to one of your thighs with a muttered easy. You noticed her catch a glimpse of your underwear as she pulled away from your leg, which were littered with fucking bowls of fruit are you fucking kidding—

“You’re so fuckin’ cute, holy shit,” you felt her chuckle lightly at your bashed reaction, covering your face as you whined into your hands. 

“This is so fucking embarrassing!” 

She ignored you as you felt her press kisses all over your legs, “Look at me.” 

You whined again, shaking your head. 

You felt her kiss her way back up over your panties, over your stomach with a tight grip on your hips, grabbing your tits over your sweatshirt, and you hadn’t even noticed that your hands dropped from your face to grip the counter to steady yourself. She reconnected her lips with yours and you threw your arms around her neck. She pressed her thigh against you, and you slammed a clenching hand down on the counter behind you for balance. She held your hips to help you grind down on her and you were so, so high-strung and ready to cum for her—

“El—Ellie, oh fuck!” 

“Yeah?” She said against your neck, sucking marks into the skin.

“Ye—mmh!” 

“Gonna get m’fuckin’ leg wet? Gonna make me yours?” She slurred raspily. 

The thought of her being yours was enough to make you cum hard in your panties, your body stiffening and your eyes rolling back as it wracked through you. Ellie made sure to keep the gap between your pussy and her leg closed as you rode your high out. You tried to shut your legs as she pressed into you, but your resistance only made her dig her leg harder into your clit with a cocky chuckle against your neck. You couldn’t stop saying her name and you knew she loved it! You were so happy she was standing as close as she was; You would’ve hit the floor the second it washed over you! 

She continued that slow grind as you came down. She pulled away from your neck to kiss your mouth, then your nose, then both your cheeks before mumbling, “Can you make it upstairs or do you want me walk you to the fuckin’ couch?” 

You peeled your eyes open to lightly glare at her flushed face, and she laughed before kissing your cheek again and pulling you away from the counter. “C’mon, baby, wobble your ass upstairs.” 

You did, lightheaded and all. 

Ellie's room was so… her. 

Posters of metal bands all over the black, faux brick wall, green and blue fairy lights above her dresser, little trinkets and action figures and books on her other dresser. It was all dark tones with hints of forest green on her dresser and nightstands. You were surrounded by her scent when you walked up the stairs, and you almost passed out from elation. 

What you didn’t expect to see was her customized fucking guitar that her dad gave her on the stand in the corner of her room. Next to it, on the desk near her producing equipment, was the embroidered guitar pic that you and your sister got for her eighteenth birthday. She still had it, she actually used it. You immediately felt tears prick your eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” she said sympathetically, wrapping her arms around your waist to hold you against her. You sniffled and wiped your eyes. 

“…Nothin’, just happy and missed you,” You hoped she bought it. You weren’t about to tell her that you were crying over a fucking guitar pic. 

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, you don’t understand,” and you felt her squeeze your waist tighter. 

You were on cloud nine. 

After you calmed down and wiped your face as she kissed your neck in comfort, she guided you over to her mussed king bed with a mumbled sit down against your forehead before kissing it. You sat and moved to scoot up towards the middle of the bed, but she quickly grabbed your ankles and pulled you back down to the edge. You let out a shocked squeak. 

“No one told you to move. Stay there,” She scolded quietly before removing her sweatshirt. Your pussy squeezed at the sight of her bare chest and her fucking defined abs and her everything. You examined her upper body closely: flushed chest littered with freckles shaped like stars, small and random scars that you recognized from her skateboarding accidents years ago, how muscular she was. She was so…

She watched your legs squeeze together with a lick of her lips. You watched her gaze peer down as she watched wetness collect on your panties before she turned and walked towards her dresser to turn her dim lamp and dug around for something… a few things. 

Your heartbeat pounded at an alarming pace as you watched her back muscles move with her rummaging. You let out a quiet, dreamy sigh. You’d let her do anything she wanted to you!

She walked back to the bed with full hands, placing the pile of… toys on her exposed, forest green, pine-scented sheets. 

You were staring so hard at the… weaponry she just dumped next to you. The only one you recognized was the rechargeable blue wand, her fucking thick, dark purple strap oh fuck, some cherry-flavored lube, and that clit massager that people always linked under viral Twitter threads. Hey, ladies! —

Ellie must’ve noticed the shocked look on your face as you eyed the toys because you felt her grab your chin to redirect your gaze onto her. You were so wound up. 

“We don’t have to use all of these, we don’t have to use any of you don’t wanna,” Ellie said gently as she looked down at you while gently caressing your jaw with her pointer finger. “Just wanted you to know I have a preeetty good selection to choose from, it’s up to you, though, whatever you want.” 

You got wetter at her consideration and her soft chuckles and her touch and her tits, and oh god, you were about to say I love you—! 

“Ellie, I’ve never—y’know,” You blurted out before your habit of impulsivity took over.  

“Never used a toy?” 

Your face got hotter as you sighed heavily and averted your gaze towards the wall, and you felt her release your chin to lay on her stomach next to you. 

She called out your name softly. You timidly looked at her. 

“You never had sex?” 

You slowly shook your head no. 

You were expecting her to joke around and laugh at your embarrassing confession, but she looked and sounded so attentive, so comforting, and it made you squirm. 

“It's not a big deal, y’know that right? There’s no timeline to do it. You do it when you wanna… and that’s it.” She said with soft finality as you turned to look at her… very high ceiling. Wealth. 

“I wanna, it’s just… like, I don’t know how. Like, where do I put my hands?” You asked with an awkward chuckle as you stiffly held them in the air. 

She snorted in your ear before she shuffled closer, turning onto her side to face you. You felt her lift your hoodie up just under your lounge bra and you felt her hand graze the exposed skin above your panties, not dipping under, yet. Just… touching along them. It made you shudder.

“You put ‘em where you like,” She whispered in your ear as she kissed them, barely nudging her fingers under your panties. “And you just watch. See how they react.” 

You dropped your hand to place lightly on her wrist to rest there. You saw her gauging your reaction for any signs of discomfort from the corner of your eye. There weren’t any, touch me everywhere!, you wanted to scream. 

“El…Ellie..” You whimpered out

“Tell me what you want from me, I’ll do it, anything you want, just need to hear you say it.” She sounded just as eager as you felt and it was making your toes curl. 

“Can you,” You whined out quietly as you gripped her wrist tighter. She nodded encouragingly at you. “Want you to touch me.”��

“Tell me where, baby.” 

“Y-you know where.” 

“Say it.” She demanded. Her voice was going to put you in a casket! 

“My… my pussy, want you to touch my pussy,” you quickly murmured out to her, your eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. 

“Take these off,” she whispered, kissing the side of your head as she snapped the band of your underwear against your skin. You quickly lifted your hips to rip them off your body, harshly kicking them onto the floor. She snickered at you. 

She sat up to instantly straddle your waist and your eyes shot open. She looked so pretty on top of you like this. She bent down to place a quick kiss to your lips before she lifted your hoodie up and over your head and tossed it…. fucking somewhere, you didn’t care where! She started kissing you on your cheeks, down to your jaw, to your neck, to your shoulder (you jerked slightly, you love it when she touches you there!). You felt her slowly lift your bra up and over your tits, your back immediately arching up into her so she could pull it off you, tossing that into the abyss, as well. 

“Put your fuckin’ hands up there,” She said, nodding her head up slightly as she sat up to take your body in. You pushed your self-consciousness aside and immediately followed her instructions, releasing the tight grip you had on her sheets and stretching your arms out above your head. “Don’t move ‘em, either.”

You nodded your head. You won't, you won’t! 

She brought her lips down to meet yours again before she trailed them down your body. She kissed and sucked on both your nipples, the stud in her mouth circling the bud, as you whined and squirmed under her, fingers grasping the blankets above your head, your hips bucking up before she pressed them down with her strong hands. 

“Stop moving.” 

You nodded as you whimpered. 

She left kisses down your stomach, sucking bruises into it as she moved down down down, her feet planting on the floor before she got down on her knees. She yanked you closer to the edge and her, throwing your legs over her shoulders again. Your lower half was nearly hanging off the bed!

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy, I swear to god.” She said against your thighs as she sloppily kissed them. You clenched tighter when she whispered out a so fuckin’ cute. 

You felt her spread your pussy lips with her fingers, exposing the pulsing bud. Another gush of wetness left you and she laughed gently. It made you clench again. 

“Ever put a finger inside?” 

“N-no?” You whimpered between pants.

“You don’t remember?” 

“I’ve never… yeah.” 

She chuckled lightly. “Okay, wanna see if you like it?” 

You let out a shaky mhm!, and you felt her arms tightly wrap around both your thighs before she licked your clit in a slow swipe. 

You moaned out and your back arched and your eyes watered. The jewelry in her mouth was making you see stars and it’s been five seconds. She barely did anything and you felt that tight clench in your core! You were about to cum already!

You felt her tongue move in slow circles on your clit and you couldn’t stop making fucking noise! You were whining out pleads and your pussy was telling her I like it, don’t stop! with every throb, every clench. You could feel her take notes of all your reactions as she slowly massaged your clit with her pierced tongue. You felt that feeling coming back and it was so fast—

“El, mmh!—fuck, ‘m gonna—!”

“You can, ‘m not gonna stop.” She said against your clit. The vibrations sent your brain into overdrive. 

“Ughh! Fuck—!”

You came. You came so fucking hard. You couldn’t fucking run due to the tight grip on your thighs, so you slammed your hand down on her shoulder to ground yourself, digging your nails into it as she moaned out against your clit as she sucked on it. Your head was thrown all the way back as you screamed her name, and she was still sucking on your clit and wasn’t stopping and oh fuck— 

“El, pleasepleaseplease, I can’t—“you called out as you pushed her head away from you. 

She released your clit and slapped it before you could squeeze your thighs together. You let out a squeak and jolted away from her snickering form as you felt her kiss up your legs, to your torso, to your face before resting beside you. 

“You okay?” She asked as she laughed quietly, planting kisses on your ear and neck. You couldn’t move or speak—you could hardly breathe! — and she had the audacity to laugh?!

“I’m not done, I told you that,” She said as she sucked on your shoulder, and you felt a tight squeeze again. 

“Ellie, I can’t take anymore— “

“Yeah, you can, open em’, c’mon, lemme see,” She said as she tapped your stiff thigh. You slowly released the tension in them before letting them fall open and she sat up to prop herself on her elbow. You watched her look down so she could look at and rub your clit again, letting out a quiet fuuuck at the sight of your sticky center. Your legs almost flew shut at the sensitivity, but she held them open with one of her legs. You let out a groan as she laughed louder and rubbed a little harder before she stopped at your whining. Fucking sadist!

“Wanna watch you take my fingers.” 

You whimpered out her name as you met her gaze. 

“Want me to stop, baby?” 

You quickly shook your head. No, no no, don’t stop, don’t leave me! 

She bent down to kiss your neck as she moved her hand to squeeze the inner parts of your thigh before she brought her hand back down to rub your clit again. Your hips bucked, but she didn’t hold you. 

You felt her fingers dip lower and lower until she was at your drippy opening, only to bring them up to her mouth to suck them clean. You moaned when she moaned at the taste and turned to kiss you, gliding her tongue on yours so you could see for yourself. You sucked lightly on her tongue and her tongue ring, and she whined out. 

“Taste so fuckin’ good, such good pussy,” She slurred out against your mouth. You felt her hand go straight back down to your pussy before she lightly nudged her finger in. You went stiff. She kissed your neck to soothe you. 

“This okay?” She asked gently before continuing.  “Always remember you can stop me.” 

“Wan’it, El, I promise, want you everywhere, want you inside,” you sounded just as delirious as she was, drunk off each other. 

She nodded against you. “Okay. Gonna go slow.” 

You nodded back. 

She continued her movements, slowly pushing her pointer finger inside you, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. But you were so fucking wet, you could feel yourself dripping on her fucking sheets, her finger slipped in and you wanted more. 

You felt her slowly rub your clit with her thumb and it made you squeeze tight on her. 

“Can barely move my fuckin’ finger, what the fuck,” She said in shock and it made you squeeze harder! “Want another, baby? Want another inside?” 

You were nodding mindlessly as you listened to the noises your pussy made (yes, please! another inside!) as she rubbed you raw, and you could feel her wiggling around, in search for something—

You moaned aloud as your legs instinctively opened wider so she could get deeper and holy fuck it felt so fucking good when she hit right there—

“Yeah?” She rasped in your ear, pressing on it harder. 

“Yeahyeah, fuck—“

“Yeah babygirl? That’s the spot? Like it right here?” She asked dazed as she slid another finger in to press up against it. You felt the stretch but you didn’t care because you felt something inside you rising and rising—

She wasn’t even fucking you anymore! Just grinding her fingers into right where you needed them while her thumb circled your clit and she was about to make you cum again. The squelching noises of your pussy got louder and louder and your eyes rolled into your skull as your back arched as it hit you. 

“Fuck yeah, fuckin’ give it to me, thaaat’s a good girl, fuck me.” 

You felt a burst of wetness around you and it wouldn’t stop because of how hard Ellie was fucking you. You couldn’t think and all you could say were slurry, wet fuckmefuckmefuckme’s as she took you to the moon and back. 

You finally came down as Ellie pressed kisses on your head while slowly rubbing your clit, talking you back to earth. Your eyes peeled open, bleary and teary-eyed. How were you not dead yet? You felt like you died!

“Welcome back,” you heard a light voice giggle at you. 

You flipped her off and she laughed. She gave it a kitten lick before she sat up. What the fuck—

You watched her get up to run to the bathroom. You heard the sink running before you saw her quickly return with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you up. 

“My sheets are drenched, goddamn,” She said in quiet amazement as she ran her fingers through her hair. It made you blush harder. 

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

Meow! MeowMeow! Meow—

“Oh shit. Needa feed her, I’ll be back,” Ellie said to you, bending down to plant a kiss on your bruised thigh, discarding the towel in her hamper. You watched as she scooped up Duchess to carry her downstairs while pressing kisses to her head. 

Your heart was pounding as you smiled dotingly at her descending form. 

After feeding the purring kitty and smoking another blunt, Ellie made her way upstairs to find you curled up and snoring. 

She snorted and made her way over to you, pressing light kisses to your back as you shuffled around. 

“I gotta change the sheets babe, up you get, c’mon,” She said gently with an encouraging pat to your ass. She did, in fact, watch it jiggle. “You wanna shower?”

You shook your head as you rubbed your eyes, rolling over onto your back. “M’kay, just gonna change them and you can sleep.” 

Ellie made her way over to her linen cabinet to grab the freshly washed sheets before making her way back over to your now upright form. 

She watched you stand up to toss the blankets and pillows off and ripped the… soaking sheets off, everything—including the pile of toys that she never put back— falling onto the rug covered floor. She noticed your avoidant gaze as you caught glimpses of her dick poking out from under the pile of bedding. It made her smile and blush. 

Ellie made the bed while you sat at her desk to drink water, fluffing the pillows and fixing the blankets. 

“Alright, come lay down.” 

She heard you move instantly as you dove headfirst into the plush bed, immediately grabbing a pillow and sliding under the blankets. 

Ellie shook her head with a smile before moving towards her nightstand to turn off the dimly lit lamp. She made her way to the bathroom before she heard a little waaitt. She turned to see you with an outstretched hand, luring her back to you. 

“What’s the matter?” She asked, squatting next to you. 

“Wanna kiss,” You said, pouting, and Ellie's heart rate shot up. Fuck, fuckfuckfuck—

But she only hummed in acknowledgment, bending down to connect your lips in a soft kiss. “Better?” 

You nodded with a grin, looking lovingly at her face. You leaned in for one more and she accepted. She accepted so quickly. 

“Gonna go shower, okay?” She said gently against your mouth. 

“Without me?” You whispered back with a sly grin, pressing another kiss to her mouth. 

“Shut up, I asked you,” She was cheesing so fucking hard, her cheeks were starting to hurt. 

You giggled, kissing her cheek before turning back over. 

Ellie let out a deep sigh as she stood and stripped, removing her sweatpants and damp boxers, and tossing everything—including your fruit bowl covered panties that you would not be getting back—into the hamper as she made her way to the bathroom. 

She shut the bathroom door and leaned back against it and thought. 

What the fuck has she gotten herself into? 

She wanted you close the minute she saw you downstairs, all warm and cozy with the brightest, gentlest eyes she’d ever had the pleasure of looking into. So soft and gentle and filled with longing. 

She hoped you noticed how much she missed you, too. 

And your stares… so filled with want and desire and eagerness. She wanted to touch you all over. 

She was so fucking horny, and her heart was beating at the speed of light and every time she shut her eyes, she could see you smiling and laughing and—

She just made you cum all over her bed… and fingers…and leg and you were so fucking tight on her, and she wanted to fuck you so bad. Want to make you feel good. Wanted to make you see what she sees whenever she looks at you. So fucking gorgeous. 

She was getting hot again. 

She slowly walked towards the shower and turned the water on, checking the temperature before stepping inside. 

She leaned forward slightly to wet her hair and her face before grabbing her loofah and soap, sudsing it up and scrubbing her body with the bubbly, pine-scented wash. She turned her back towards the hot water and immediately felt a sting on her shoulder. She turned her head, pulling the skin towards her to see the little red lines you dug into her when you came on her face. 

All she could think about was making you fucking squirt again. She needed to fucking cum so bad. 

But she didn’t want to wake you: you looked so cuddly and warm nestled under her blankets with your face nuzzled into her pillow. She wanted you to stay like that, content and satisfied and relaxed. Calm. You deserved it. Fuck, you deserved so much. 

Her soft thoughts were cut off when she turned back around and looked up. At her shower head. Her detachable shower head. She let out a sigh and accepted her fate. 

She rinsed her body off, making sure all the soap was running off of her and into the drain before she reached up to unhook the shower head from its latch in the wall. She adjusted the temperature to make it cooler, adjusted the settings to massage and squatted against the wall. She exposed her clit with her free hand and moved so the water could hit it straight on. The strong pulse made her shudder instantly. 

Justneedacumjustneedacum—

Her glossy eyes fluttered shut and she immediately saw you bouncing on her dick. She saw you rubbing your clit and touching your tits telling her how good it’s stretching you out, and it’s all for her. She saw you looking up at her with your glossy, lustful eyes, your trembling thighs, your glistening pussy. How pretty it is. How pretty your face was. How bright your smile was and fuck, it was going to make her fucking cum—

She wanted you to be happy. She loved seeing you happy. She loved it, she loved it!

“Fuck, shit!” 

She felt that sweet, swelling feeling in her cunt and she was so close. She missed your scent: you smelt like fucking sunflowers she wanted it all over her. Wanted to drown in you in any way she could. Any way you’d allow. 

She lov—

And she came so fucking hard, her ears started ringing. Her brain only producing images of you and your giggling face and you playing your fucking violin! Who would’ve thought that would make her eyes roll back into her skull as her clit throbbed in her high?

She felt the sensitivity in her bud as she held the flow of water on it, but she needed more. She wanted you so bad, she couldn’t get enough. She was biting her lip to keep from making noises because you were fucking sleeping, but she couldn’t help the little hums and squeaks of pleasure as she bucked up into the stream. 

She was going to cum again. She was getting tighter and she felt it in her toes and she couldn’t stop shaking. 

It was coming so fast. She threw her head back against the shower wall as it swelled in her lower belly and it’s right there it’s right there—

All she heard was your screams of Ellie! and fuckme! and yes! more! want you everywhere! and she blacked out when it hit her. Her mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t help the moans that left her, saying your name as quietly as she could manage. Fuck, she wanted you next to her. Wants you close, always wants you close. She never wants you away from her again. 

She came down, tossing the still running shower head onto the floor as she slouched in her position. Her vision was spotty as she glanced around at the marble walls, but she could still see you in her mind. And she knew that you wouldn’t be leaving it anytime soon. 

Fuck. 

She was in trouble. 

After Ellie got up on her trembling legs and dried off, she walked back into her room to find you tucked under her dark blankets while Duchess laid across your feet on her back. Her heart stuttered in her chest, and she couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto her face. 

She put on a pair of boxers and Dina’s old Slayer tee before she pulled the covers back to lay next to you. She heard Duchess move around on top of your legs. She carefully sat up to stick her arm out to lure her closer, picking up the tired kitty before she put the fur ball between your bodies. She felt the kitty relax in her grasp. 

Ellie looked up at your tranquil, sleeping form before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. You nuzzled closer even in your resting state. 

Yeah. 

She was in fucking trouble. 

You woke up early. With no scarf on! 

It was around six in the morning when your eyes pulled up, and you were very hot. And there was something fluffy between your neck and chin. 

And then you remembered. Ellie. Kitty. Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Oh, shit. The memories of last night slammed into you like a sixteen-wheeler and you couldn’t stop grinning. You probably looked crazy from another perspective. 

She was holding you to her chest, your bare back flush against her clothed chest. You tried to shuffle as lightly as you could so you wouldn’t wake your cuddler, but she moved with you anyway, pulling you closer. 

And then you felt her nails just barely grazing up and down your arm as you relaxed into her instantly. 

“Ellie?” You whispered. 

“Mhm?” she said hoarsely back. Fuck.

“You awake?” 

“…No.” She said with a snort. You gently kicked her leg as you grinned. 

Duchess had moved from your shoulder and onto the bed when you both started shifting, stretching her back before sitting to lick her paw and wipe her face with it, soft jingles ringing through the silence of the room. 

“She likes you,” Ellie noted softly in your ear before kissing it. 

“I love her,” you whispered back as you turned around to face the warm girl. She was resting her head on her large pillow, softly caressing your other arm. Her eyes slowly trailed down your face, then your neck, to your breasts. You watched her lick her lips before biting them. You blushed and reached out to lightly slap her arm. She smiled. 

“Not gonna touch. Just lookin’,” She whispered with a foxlike grin on her face as she continued to stare. 

You giggled at her as she softly laughed with you. “You can touch if you wanna.” 

“Oh, I’m gonna, just not right now,” she said huskily as she cockily raised her brow at you. It made you shiver in delight. She could touch you anywhere. 

But your smile slowly disappeared when you remembered. 

“Ellie?” 

“Yeah?” She said back quietly, meeting your eyes. 

“I leave in a couple days,” you said sadly. “Back to campus, I mean.” 

She nodded in understanding, but you saw her brows pulled down in a slight frown. She looked a little sad at the sound of you leaving and you wanted to hold her so tight. 

“When do you come back, do you know?” she asked in a whisper as she mindlessly played with your fingers under the blanket.

“Not ‘til April,” you said with a sad smile. “Spring break.” 

She let out a sigh before she leaned forward to plant a kiss to your lips, you instantly reciprocating. 

She pulled back to whisper, “Do you needa leave today?” 

You reluctantly shook your head yes. “Not right now, but later, yeah.” 

She said nothing, but she grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer into her chest, nuzzling your neck to plant kisses on it. You didn’t want to leave, and you could feel tears pricking your eyes. You blinked rapidly so she wouldn’t notice how upset you were getting. 

“Wanna make you breakfast, at least.” 

You let out a wet laugh as you sniffed lightly. “You almost burned your house down when you made Jesse those cupcakes for his birthday way back! You’re never allowed in the kitchen again.” 

“Oh, fuck you! I was ten and didn’t know what the numbers were on the knob, leave me alone,” She muffled with a smile into your neck. You let out an even louder laugh at her admission. She pressed one more kiss to your neck before sitting up and removing the blankets. Your nipples hardened as the cold air hit them. 

“What are you lookin’ at? Hm?” You heard her ask. You propped yourself up to see who she was talking to. You followed her line of sight onto the floor to see a… very judgmental looking Duchess giving her owner a feed me now! glare. 

“She’s a fuckin’ homophobe. Make out with me so we can piss her off more!” She said jokingly, making kissy faces and grabby hands at you. Even though you wanted her tongue in your mouth again, you declined. 

“No! Go feed the baby right now!” You said with a laugh as you moved away from her. She laughed at you before she jumped up from the bed. 

“Come on, m’love,” Ellie said as she clicked her tongue at her cat, moving towards the stairs. Small jingles and soft scratches on the hardwood filled the room. 

“Ellie, can I use your shower?” You yelled from upstairs. 

“…Course you can!” You heard her yell back. 

You hadn’t noticed as you moved towards the bathroom, but Ellie flushed bright red at the mention of the shower. 

After washing up and stealing some of Ellie’s pine-scented lotion, you put your hoodie and sweatpants from yesterday back on—bare pussy, where the fuck did your underwear go?!—and flew down the stairs at the smell of sausages and syrup. 

You saw Ellie standing over the burning stove, spatula in hand, toaster filled with blueberry Eggos. Your heart raced at the sight. 

“Oh my god, you weren’t joking about breakfast!” You said excitedly while trying to act like your heart wasn’t about to burst out of your chest. You hoped it was working. 

“Oh, you think this is for you? This is mine, you’re making your own!” Ellie said as she looked at you in mocked shock. 

“Fuck you! Put my eggs on the damn plate!” You yelled back to her as you walked over the table. 

She laughed as she stacked two waffles on your plate before topping them with whipped cream, along with your crispy sausages and (slightly burnt) eggs. She's so cute! 

The little chef walked over to you, towel slung over her shoulder as you giggled giddily. She sets your plate in front of you, calling the masterpiece chef Ellie’s surprise! with a dramatic wave of her towel. You clapped for her as she bowed. 

You drenched your waffles in syrup and dug in, as she lightly jogged over to you with a you couldn’t fuckin’ wait for me?!, plate in hand. 

You ate and talked and joked and laughed so hard, you nearly choked on your orange juice. The two of you were in your own little universe and you never wanted to leave. 

But you had to eventually, and you felt devastation wash over you every hour that passed. 

It was noon, and you had to go home. 

Ellie held your hand the entire walk down the stairs. You got your puffer from the couch and put it back on as you both walked towards the front door. 

She bought your Uber after your denial of her offer to drive you home, sadly claiming I don’t know if sissy’ll be there, and you could tell that the mention of your sister saddened her, but she accepted with a soft okay. 

She squatted to lace up your boots, planting a gentle kiss to your clothed knee before she rose to your height. She’s so tall, fuck. 

“Ready, babe?” She asked gently, wrapping her arms around your neck. You waddled closer, rubbing your nose against hers. She pressed a kiss to your mouth, and you pressed another to hers.

“Don’t wanna go,” you barely whispered out. You felt your eyes getting a little glossy. Don’t fucking cry. 

“Don’t want you to go, but you gotta,” She said gently. “Fucking scholar.” 

You were going to say something, but a notification came from her phone in her pocket. She grabbed it, softly saying your car was downstairs. 

“Text me when you get home, okay?” 

You nodded, giving her one more kiss before pulling away from her warmth, slowly walking towards the front door with her following behind. You pulled it open before turning to wrap your arms around her, and she held you just as tightly. You could see Duchess sleeping on the couch on her back, and your tears fell as you shut them. Don’t cry don’t fucking cry—

You knew you weren’t going to be able to see her before you left, so you inhaled her scent one last time until you saw her again. 

And you turned to leave before she could see your tear-stained face. 

You sent a quick text to Ellie as you exited the car saying that you made it safely. She sent you a im glad baby. get some rest and ill see u soon. And it made you sob. And horny. You want to fuck again. 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket when you got up to your room, wiping your damp cheeks. You opened your STUNNA GIRL RIDERS👩🏾‍🦳💯 group chat. 

y: hi guys lol 

And you nearly jumped at how fast the messages came through. 

ari: BITCH DKNT FUCCKINGNSAY HI LIKE SHIT IS SWEET HOW WASS THE PIPE 

krissy: hi honey! 

shining starr: U HOE

ari: SHES SO YRJXIDNFN I KNOW SHE LAID IT DOWNNNNN DDDDEEEEOWNNNNN 

y: y’all r so annoying 

y: not u kris ily so much ur everything to me

krissy: ur my baby! ilym 

ari: SHUTHT EYFHCJCXUPPP GIMME THE DETAILS I NEED EVERY DETAIL RIGHRNFUCKDINGNNOW IM NOT FUXKING PLAYING

shining starr: 😛😛

y: she made me cum when she did the knee thing and sucked my tits and ate me out and made me squirt when she fingered me

You quickly typed the message and sent it before you regretted it. Your cheeks ran hot even thinking about it. You missed her so fucking much. 

shining starr: oh wow.

ari: OHTNMTCUXKDKSIEIEIEISISJSKAKDBHDJS 

krissy: eeeek i’m so glad u had fun!! 

shining starr: u freak. always the fucking quiet ones i told u bitches that

ari: FUCKKDMFMEKWISDJJDJKOOEOEKWJWN 

ari: SHES S ABOUT TO TURN YOU OUT FUCKCDINNG THATS SO FUCKIRGNNHOT 

y: we didn’t even get to fuck fully but she has so many toys

y: i miss her so bad already 

y: she has a kitty🥺

ari: BITCH FUCK THE CAT!!!! NOBODY CARES!! WHAT COLOR IS HER STRAP 

ari: FUCKIGNNGG. FIRE HYDRANT DICK CONFIRMED???

shining starr: LMFAAOOOOO 

You giggled as you sent them (Arya) the details about what happened last night and this morning and you fucking missed Ellie. You couldn’t believe how much you missed her. 

You used to hate the Spring, but now, you couldn't wait for it to come. 

they getting freaakyyy mmmm everybody clap.

everyone pray 2 the proofread gods 4 me they aint answering my calls no more

shoutout to my lil taglist :p. @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong, @gold-dustwomxn

pt. 5 :p

[erxxi3]

— Head Over Pussy ♡

Pairings: Pussy ♡ Drunk! Ellie x Fem! Reader

♡ Summary: Ellie eating you out like you are her last meal and it’s been a couple hours.

♡ CW: f receiving, cunnilingus, praise, and overstimulation?

♡ Pussy drunk! Ellie eating you out, she has you on top of her face your knees bent on either side of her head. This girl can’t get enough of you because she pushes you over your limit, while lapping and sucking your pussy harshly to her content.

“Mmh…so fucking good…” She says moaning into your cunt, while her tongue works on you like magic putting you to a eternal bliss like state.

“Oh god— Oh~! f-fuck els…” You said uncontrollably drowning in pleasure from her tongue, and sweet rich pornographic moans are filling the air in her bedroom along with wet/sappy sounds coming from your cunt as her tongue travels deeper inside of you quickening the pace.

♡ Ellie is not going to stopping anytime soon, she just can’t get enough of how good you taste. <33

Holding you by your ass squeezing it bc of how soft it is, yet she is taking her time with you making it feel like it’s been more than a couple hours. “…please….ellie…” you begged for your release in whines trying to keep yourself upright bc your legs were starting to hurt, they were giving up on you.

Ellie moves her hands to hold your hips still praising you for being so good for her and holding out this long, her words vibrate against your cunt causing you to reach your high.

“e-ellie! oh god….” You said before ending your high with cumming all over her face that making ellie happy when she can make you feel good in order to earn every last drop of your juices.

Praising you as such: “You did so good f` me, my love....” and “You tasted just like heaven, so sweet..”, She said as she got out from underneath you, moving closer to you while her hand came up to caress your cheek planting a kiss on your soft lips, before biting down gently on them.

♡ After that Ellie makes sure to check up on you, taking you to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and then dressed for bed so the two of you can cuddle.

A/N: I really loved how this fic turned out and I’m very proud of myself! Bc I just craved for pussy drunk ellie fic for some reason like the idea came to me at like 3:00am, but I waited till it was 6:30am I was hella tired and wanted to sleep before writing. Sorry for the low quality image…

[echo-goes-mmm]

Ambrose and Elliot #18

Masterpost

Previous

Next

Warnings: sickness

Elliot had an itch in his throat. At first he thought it was leftover from screaming during James’s visit, but that was a while ago and it hadn’t gone away. 

He kept on with his chores regardless. It was his place to serve, and a little cold shouldn’t stop him. Master had been rewarding him at the end of every day with a shiny gold coin and Elliot didn’t want to disappoint him. It would be just as bad as the beating that would follow.

He was tired now, too. It wasn’t the satisfying kind that he’d gotten used to after a day of being a good boy. Instead of sleeping pleasant and deep, he tossed and turned at night. Cold and hot all at once, and his beloved blanket wasn’t doing its job. It wasn’t fair. Elliot had been eating more than he’d ever gotten before. He slept well. He had no open wounds (the scratches had faded just like Ambrose said), so there was nothing to infect. It wasn’t fair!

And it wouldn’t be fair to Master Ambrose to stop working. So he didn’t.

___________________

He couldn’t get out of bed. Oh gods, he couldn’t get out of bed.

The fire had gone out during the night, and the fall air chilled him. He shivered, burrowing into the quilt, blanket, and pillows. His jaw barely creaked open enough to breathe, as his nose was clogged. Why did everything hurt? His limbs weighed him down and his muscles protested at the slightest movement.

Light began to filter through the windows. Dawn was approaching. His room faced the sunrise, and it was too bright. Just yesterday, he’d cleaned the windows and now he couldn’t get up to draw the curtains closed. How pathetic. 

He watched the beams of light grow longer on his floor. Master Ambrose would be awake soon. Please help me. 

___________________

Elliot wasn’t up and about yet. Odd. He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the dining room, or even outside watching the sunrise. 

Ambrose knocked on the bedroom door. He heard a faint whine from behind the wood.

“Ellie,” he called, turning the knob, “I’m coming in, sweetheart.”

Elliot was bundled in both his quilt and blanket. Shivering and squinting, he panted and looked absolutely awful. The fire was out, and cold. 

Ambrose crossed the room, closing the curtains. Dimming the light would help Elliot’s obvious headache. 

He arranged a few logs in the fireplace, striking a flint to light them. He would need to bring more wood from a neighboring room later.

___________________

“Oh Ellie,” said Master, sitting on the edge of his bed. “I’m so sorry.” 

Master’s cool hand brushed away his sweaty hair to take his temperature. Master tutted, and guilt swirled in his gut. If Ambrose wasn’t panicked, it must not be that bad. If it wasn’t that bad, Elliot should be working. 

He tried getting up, but Master Ambrose gently pushed him back onto the bed.

“None of that, love. Just stay in bed, and I’ll take care of everything.” Elliot was relieved. Now he could rest and obey at the same time. He’d make it up to Master later.

He let Ambrose rearrange the blankets, untangling them from between his legs. The fire was already warming the room and the pleasantness made his eyelids heavy. 

___________________

Ambrose let Elliot doze as he tiptoed down the stairs. Luckily, he’d made and canned a huge batch of chicken stock for soup season. Made with roasted chicken bones and bits with peppercorns, bundles of herbs, garlic, and vegetables, the hearty stock would be perfect for Elliot. And it would provide some fluid and nutrients. 

He grabbed a pint from the storeroom and set to work. He drizzled some oil in a copper pot and set the heat. Ambrose minced some garlic and ginger and tossed it in the pot. Ginger would help reduce the croaking pain in Elliot’s throat. He diced an onion while the aromatics became fragrant. He added the onion and gave it a stir. Ambrose uncapped the pint of stock, and carefully plopped it into the pot. It was so rich, it had partially congealed. Perfect.

Ambrose held off on adding potatoes. They would be fine for Elliot if cut small enough, but Ambrose knew swallowing would be tough for him. Better to start off with a thinner soup and gradually thicken it as Elliot recovered. Instead, he added some cream for protein. A generous amount of salt, and it was nearly ready.

Soon it was the perfect temperature and the scent was delightful. He ladled a portion into a wooden bowl and carried it up to Elliot’s room.

___________________

Elliot tried to sleep, but the rumble of his stomach kept the fuzziness in his brain from working. The ache in his joints was uncomfortable, and he just wanted everything to go away. He felt so heavy.

“Love, I’m coming in,” said Master.

Elliot saw the bowl and spoon as Master entered. His stuffy nose kept him from smelling anything, but even the promise of food made his mouth water. Master Ambrose sat the bowl on his nightstand, and helped him sit up. Ambrose even propped up the pillows to keep his head from lolling, and Elliot was too tired to even feel ashamed for being useless. 

___________________

He couldn’t lift the spoon. Damn. He should have thought of that.

Elliot stared at the soup, despair on his face. Elliot was so fond of food, and for good reason. Sympathy panged in Ambrose’s heart. It must be killer for Elliot to be so close and yet unable to eat without assistance. 

Ambrose put the bowl to Elliot’s lips, tilting it ever so slightly. He’d intentionally made it just warm enough to eat right away, thank goodness. Elliot drank, his eyes fluttering. After a moment, Ambrose pulled away to let him breathe. 

The look Elliot gave him was halfway murderous and it was almost comical if it weren’t for everything else. 

“I don’t want you to choke,” explained Ambrose, and Elliot settled down. Hiccups wouldn’t help either. They were unpleasant if your throat was raw. 

Ambrose fed him until the bowl was empty. Elliot had finished it quickly, drinking it down as greedily as a bottle-fed lamb. 

“Let’s wait to see how your stomach does,” said Ambrose. “I’ll get you more if you can keep it down, okay?”

Elliot gave him a small smile; he understood. 

“Do you want to sleep?” 

“Mhm.”

Ambrose helped him lay down again. He’d have to stay by Elliot’s side today. Thankfully it was the third day of the week, so he didn’t have to put out notice that he had closed.

But as he grabbed a book from his shelves and went back to Elliot’s side, he wondered. How did he get sick so fast? He understood why Elliot was hit so hard; he was still not physically recovered from before, and the stress of the recent fight must have contributed. But these things didn’t happen overnight. 

He watched Elliot’s chest rise and fall. The soup had loosened his stuffy nose a little, but he still couldn’t breathe through it. Ambrose would have to whip up some medicine to make that easier.

If Elliot had hidden his developing sickness from him, Ambrose needed to know. He’d ask as soon as Elliot could tell him.

___________________

Elliot’s fever broke as he slept, but a cough had taken its place. Ambrose dashed downstairs and hastily made a salve for Elliot’s chest. It was a sticky thing, full of strong scented herbs that would help Elliot breathe. 

Carefully, he pulled back the bedclothes and reached under Elliot’s nightshirt. The salve was still warm as he didn’t wait for it to set. He smeared a generous amount on Elliot. 

He barely stirred at the touch. It worried Ambrose, but at least he was sleeping. 

___________________

Elliot woke up groggy. His head was stuffed with cotton but he could breathe a bit better. Ambrose sat next to him, a book in his hands. He had stayed, and that meant the world to him.

“How are you feeling?” asked Ambrose, setting aside the book. 

“Better,” he croaked. And then he coughed and Ambrose sighed a little. His shirt stuck to his chest when he coughed and it felt… sticky under there. Alarmed, he clutched at his shirt and looked down. No blood. And hey, his arm was responding now. But what was it?

“What- what’s on-” he coughed again. 

“Just some breathing cream. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you to put it on. You needed to rest.”

Oh. That was nice. It seemed to be working, at least.

“Do you want some more soup?”

“Mhm.”

___________________

The next few days were a blur of tissues and various teas and soups. Elliot’s fever had returned a couple times, and scared the hell out of Ambrose. He’d even gone delirious at one point and begged Ambrose to let him go. It broke his heart.

Elliot had nightmares, too. Eventually Ambrose started reading to him, and that seemed to help.

His cough had gone from a dry nuisance to a wet hack but a steady treatment of the cream and hearty, steaming food kept the worst of it at bay. At one point he’d hacked up something green and nasty and the cough significantly diminished. 

Elliot kept everything he ate down, and Ambrose was proud to say Elliot hadn’t lost any weight while bedridden. 

By the third day, Elliot was up and moving. His cough was gone, and the weakness subsided into a simple tiredness that could be treated with an afternoon nap. The worst of it was over, and Elliot would be fine.

Thank the gods. 

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings @zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

[starsoftheeye]

TMAGP Episode 15 Live Reaction

I'm destressing after an exam so we're doing this again baby wooo

Pre-Episode

My YouTube keeps not showing the episode, it's been like an hour since the release and its still not up for me

It's not even up for my laptop this is so annoying

I can't remember how I got it to show up last time as well

Bro I keep refreshing my page and its not there WHERE ARE YOU???

Screw it Spotify get over here

THANK YOU SPOTIFY

who is this man and why is he just doing the toffee/gum in mouth/ face stretching exercise from every drama rehearsal i've ever been to

this is oddly scary

as a physics student... probably

oh its a gum ad

oooh implications

this podcast sounds cool

hi simon!!

i'm gonna stop talking about the ads now this post is so long already lmao

i love it when people dedicate episodes to their friends its so sweet

Pre-Statement

sam and celia!!

:0 he got them tickets? thats so sweet i love him

Theatre tickets can be fucking expensive as well jesus he is down bad

ah yes, my favourite piece of theatre to bring a date to: The Pillowman

i love them

alice!!

oooh luke mention

every thursday i listen to a new tmagp episode and every thursday my samalicelia post becomes a little more plausible

she has really thought this through huh

okay this is probably alice meddling out of jealousy but seriously you cannot expect me to hear her basically asking these two to hangout after theyve been on a date and expect my samalicelia brain to not go insane over it

aw alice :(

jack mention jack mention

"babys are cool" shes so me

aw celia i love her

uh oh sam and alice conversation

oh so now youtube decides to work

i cannot understand what sam said there but i'm assuming it was funny and only a bit passive agressive

Statement

Ah another voicemail

this guy sounds like tim but not

oh god what fucked up dinner party are the rich doing now

"they wanted to know whos kill they were eating" oh this is gonna be interesting

oh no theyre watching

ah yes, very informative "prepare"

whos gonna die

ooooh a fucked up woman i love fucked up women

i know this is probably a very important character and i should be paying attention but i am a mere lesbian and i am finding this woman very attractive right now

thats when you realised something was up?

oh im so gay

theyre gonna aim for the caterers they are not safe

bingo

theyre gonna make them run methinks

they killed all the birds

oh are they gonna make the caterers kill something/someone?

oh no steven :(

these people are being very vague id be asking so many questions

each other?

EACH OTHER

PLEASE BE EACH OTHER THATS SO COOL

EACH OTHER YES

I LOVE HUNTING STORIES

this guys enjoying this a little too much

go on boris

oh no boris :(

is she following him?

OH NO HE GOT CAUGHT

AHHHH WOMAN

SHES HOT

HUH????

CELIA RUN

actually no dont you have a better chance if you stay i think

SLAY CELIA

lena what did you do

this is weirdly homoerotic

GWEN???

GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

GWEN I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT

CHESIRE BOUCHARDS WHAT

GWEN?????

Post-Statement

ooooh is this lukes band?

theyre good i like it

awww these two arent gonna survive together

damn hes doing well

pfffft weedy git i love luke already

hello?? whos this??

lady are you okay??

alice run

ALICE RUN

ALICE HONEY WHAT HAPPENED

yippee more trauma for her to cover up with jokes

is she doing ellie the elephant oh my god

oh shes back

yeah alice you should run

im betting this was the stranger from the magnus institute

i shouldve paid attention to her little ramble lol

oh my god so much is happening in this show and we're only on episode 15

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Jude: "............"

Business partner: "I-I'm surprised that you took the trouble to come all the way here! We have only first-class products, so feel free to inspect them...!"

Jude: "You have lots that aren't shown here. Where are the rest?"

Business partner: "....Excuse me!?"

Jude: "What? Are you deaf? I said show me everything that isn't here."

Business partner: "Ah! T-That's..Umm..they're in the warehouse, far away from here. It will take time to get everything right now. Haha"

Ellis: "I knew this might happen, so I brought everything beforehand. Please check, these belong to you, right?"

Business partner: "W-W-What!?! When did you...!?!?"

Jude: "....The quality of these ones doesn't look the same compared to the ones you send to the head office."

Jude: "These ones look different."

Ellis: "You can tell? They all look the same to me."

Jude: "Shut your mouth if your eyes are rotting."

Ellis: "Yesss."

Jude: "So, care to explain this to me?"

Business partner: "Um..Ah..W-Well..it was a mistake..."

Jude: "No. You were trying to hide the inferior products and sell them at the high quality price, but you got caught."

Business partner: "......Ngh."

Jude: "Well, I'll let you off the hook this time."

Jude: "It's our fault that we made you believe that we're first timers and you guys could fool us with your shallow wits, right?"

Business partner: "Ha...Eh..?"

Jude: "Now you know, you can't fool me easily, right?"

Jude: "So if you try anything stupid like this again, I'll sink your whole ship, okay?"

Business partner: "Y-Yes...!! I understand. I'm sorry! Also...thank you very much."

............

Alphonse: *gasps* "Did you see that, Lord El? That evil look on his face. That's a scary blackmail, right? right?"

Elbert: "It's not nice to scam people.....we must also see this from Jude's perspective too."

Alphonse: "Yes yes. Thank you for your textbook answer."

Alphonse: "But that doesn't make the report interesting. Let's make some amendments."

Alphonse: "They were seen torturing and humiliating innocent civilians and Mr. Jude smiled at them cruelly...."

Elbert: "Al, lying is bad."

............

Ellis: "Ah....then."

Business partner: "Ah!?"

Ellis: "There have been some disturbing people going in and out the warehouse we rented these days...do you know anything about that?"

Business partner: "....!"

Ellis: "Ah, it's okay if you don't know. I just want to make sure you're not breaching the contract."

The counterparty, blue-faced and trembling, turns his gaze for a moment in horror towards the warehouse district.

He immediately returned his gaze to the front and shook his head sideways like a broken toy.

Ellis: "..............."

Jude: "....Whatever."

Jude: "You know what happens if you breach the contract anyways."

Ellis: "There's a trading company that buys these defective lots at a low price for shoddy goods, so you can take them there."

Ellis: "Here's the contact details of the representative. Good luck."

..............

Alphonse: "....Mr. Ellis, is taking care of the person who they themselves threated by helping them dispose their inventory..."

Alphonse: "He's so good....not worthy of being a Crown member to conquer evil with evil."

Alphonse: "We have to exaggerate this point as much as possible El......El?"

When Alphonse turned around, Elbert was...

Young woman: "Umm....I love you! Please tell me your name...Please...!!"

Sexy woman: "I'm rich and powerful in my home country. How about throwing away your mundane troublesome life here and let me keep you....what do you say?"

Painter with suspicious eyes: "You're a miracle of god...please come to my atelier, please...?"

Elbert was surrounded by passengers disembarking from a luxury cruise ship that had just arrived.

Elbert: "I...got some business over there-----"

Elbert was pushed further and further away by the waves of people approaching him one after another.

Alphonse: *sighs* "Looks like ducks eating breadcrumbs...."

Alphonse: "Let's cut the matter short and get on with it?"

Alphonse: "I hope they didn't notice us following them."

...........

Jude: ".....Ellis, you saw it too right?"

Ellis: "Yeah....what should we do? Do we catch them?"

Jude: "Nah."

Jude: ".......If you're going to do it, do it in one go."

............

Liam: "I wonder how El and Al are doing?"

William: "Let's wait for them patiently, first."

Liam: "Ah! They are here! ....Welcome home!!"

Alphonse: "............"

William: "You look gloomy. Did something happen?"

Liam: "Maybe they are spies after all...huh?"

Alphonse: "I have to reveal this terrible truth to you all."

Elbert: "...................Really?"

Alphonse: "Those two......have only been working all this time!!"

Liam: "Eeehhh!!? They are working!!??"

Elbert: "I don't think it's that shocking of a fact..."

Harrison: *sighs*"....What's going on?"

Alphonse: "They have been working so hard that I have nothing special to report. Isn't that insane?"

Elbert: "Jude is feared by people but Ellis is liked by people."

William: "So, do you think they are trustworthy?"

Elbert: "I don't know....yet."

Alphonse: "To be honest, I don't care."

Harrison: "......This didn't produce any results at all."

Liam: "Hahaha, the road ahead looks tough."

William: "Now that I think....I remembered something."

Harrison: ".....?"

William: "Roger must have known those two before they joined the Crown."

Harrison: "Huh!?"

William: "I think his story will help in determining whether they can be trusted or not."

Harrison: *sighs* "......It's lie when you said you just now remembered about asking Roger, isn't it?"

William: "Who can say?"

...........

Roger: "Yeah, so what do you want?"

Harrison: "Can you tell me anything you knew about Jude and Ellis before you came here?"

[ereardon]

My Girl [Chapter 5][Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC]

Summary: Jake Seresin could be the answer to all of your dating woes. He’s the full package: steady job, mature, dependable, attractive to a fault. The polar opposite of every guy your age and he’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. But there’s one roadblock: he’s a single father to four-year-old Ellie. Jake is looking for a level of commitment you’re not quite sure you’re ready to give, and he’s not willing to bring someone into his daughter’s life who isn’t there for the long haul. And even if you are stepmom material, is Jake ready to let someone back in his life while still mourning the recent loss of his late wife? 

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Lawyer Natalie West]

WC: 3.8K

Warning: Age gap, cursing, smut, mention of death

Series masterlist here

Please fill out this form here to join my tag list

“This is our estate Cabernet Sauvignon.” 

You lifted the glass to your lips and copied the sommelier — swirling the wine around in the glass and taking a deep sniff before taking a sip. 

“You’ll taste the rich, dark berry profile, as well as a hint of tobacco. Now this wine in particular has a medium tannin build, so it’s slightly dry, but with a very smooth finish.” 

Jake took a second sip of his wine and you could have sworn he worked for the CIA for how little information his facial features gave away about whether or not he enjoyed it. 

“Now I’m going to go grab our next bottle from the cellar and we will open that in fifteen minutes,” the sommelier, a tall man with broad shoulders, said. “I’ll let you enjoy the cab.” 

You smiled as he passed your table before turning to Jake. 

“What do you think?” you asked him, nodding toward the selection of wine glasses on the table. You had tried four different bottles over the course of the last ninety minutes, and the alcohol was going to your head. 

“Can I be honest?” Jake whispered softly, leaning over the table, the collar of his polo almost skimming the lip of one of his discarded glasses. 

“Of course.” 

“They all taste the damn same.” 

You laughed, a loud cackle, and had to lean back with your hand pressed over your mouth while Jake’s face cracked into a smile. “You’re going to get us kicked out,” you whispered after the laughter subsided and Jake simply shook his head, leaning back and pushing his sunglasses back over his eyes. He was effortlessly handsome. You had watched multiple women follow him with their eyes as he got up earlier to use the bathroom. There was something almost primal in the pride you had knowing he was yours. . 

After the tasting wrapped, Jake took your hand and led you out to the gardens. “Are you having a nice time?” he asked softly. 

You stopped walking, pulling him in closer and knotting your hands behind his neck. “Jake, I’m having the absolute best time. Thank you for bringing me here.” As you leaned up to kiss him, his fingers found your waist, pulling you flush against him and you moaned into his mouth as you felt his erection brush against your upper hips. 

Now that you knew what it was like to fuck Jake, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to go back to anything else. Anyone else.

“What’s next on the agenda?” you asked, your lips still bruised from the night before. 

“We have dinner reservations at 8:30 in St. Helena,” he said. “They’re supposed to have a great halibut.”

You nodded. “That sounds nice. Or, we could go back to the hotel, order room service, and eat in bed naked.” 

Jake’s eyes widened and you felt his hand slip down to the pocket of your jeans, squeezing your ass. “God, woman, you read my mind.” 

Your chuckle was cut short by his mouth on yours, and when he pulled away you felt a gust of fresh air that left you cold and needy. “Where are you going?” you whined as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. 

“Calling to cancel our reservation,” he said, “and to have the driver pull around. I’m taking you home now.” 

“But the cellar tour doesn’t start for fifteen more minutes!” 

He shook his head. “We’re not gonna make it, sweetheart.” You saw the lust in his eyes. “Tell them we’ll take three bottles of the 2015 estate cabs.” 

Jake ducked and pressed the slim phone to his ear and you smiled as he walked off, admiring him from afar. 

Once the flood gates had opened, it was hard to keep your hands off each other. Jake’s fingers inched dangerously close to your core as he rested his hand on your leg during the drive back to the vineyard, the driver up front blissfully unaware of how badly you wanted to straddle Jake in the back seat. 

“I can’t wait to be inside of you again,” he whispered into your ear as the car turned onto the resort’s main road and you felt yourself pulsating around nothing, growing more desperate as the minutes ticked by. 

The sun started to dip down as Jake tugged your hand, practically dragging you into the room and you giggled as he shut the door behind him, a tent already forming in his pants. 

“Aren’t you a little eager,” you tutted, running your hand over his crotch and he whimpered, shutting his eyes and leaning back against the door. 

“Don’t tease me, baby,” he whispered gruffly but you knew that he loved it. 

“That’s all I know how to do,” you replied, already shrugging off your jeans and sweater, shoes long discarded, and Jake licked his lips, ripping his shirt off and meeting you, breathless, in the middle of the room, your bare chests pressed together. 

When you broke apart, your hands were already on his belt, pushing down his pants. Jake grunted into your shoulder as you took him into your hand, slowly pumping down his full length. 

“Sit down,” you whispered softly and Jake took a seat on the edge of the bed, fully naked. You knelt down between his legs, fingers skimming over his thighs, before leaning forward and taking his cock into your mouth, tongue pressed up flat against the underside of his tip. 

He threw his head back with an open-mouth moan, which only spurred you on more. You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock, tipping forward and taking him deeper into your throat and one of Jake’s hands came out to brush your hair out of your face, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail. “Fuck, Nat, you’re so good at that. Such a pretty little mouth all over my cock,” he whispered, his voice breaking as another moan ripped through him. 

You felt Jake’s hips lift up from the bed, trying desperately to get you to take all of him in your mouth. It caused you to choke, a strangled sound bubbling out of the corners of your mouth along with saliva as he rammed hard into your mouth, and Jake immediately pulled back once he saw the wetness in your eyes, lifting your face off of him and wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Shit, honey, are you OK? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” There was a hint of panic in his deep voice. 

You chuckled and leaned back on your ankles. “Jake, it’s fine, honestly. I’ve been choked by dick before.”

The hardness in Jake’s eyes scared you. He wasn’t laughing with you. For a second, you were almost worried he was going to get up and walk away. You’d been judged by men in the past for your sexual history. There was an unfair bias against women who had experienced multiple partners, but for men it was a point of pride. 

You just had never thought Jake would be one of those guys. Maybe you were finally unearthing one of his red flags. 

You stood up, wiping at your mouth. “What is it?” Your voice was hard, unrelenting. It was difficult to feel powerful when you were standing in nothing but a light blue thong but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had caught you off guard. 

Jake shook his head. “I just never want to be the kind of guy who does something to you that you don’t enjoy, solely for my benefit.” 

Those were the last words you expected to fall from his mouth. 

Jake stood, cupping his hands around your cheeks. “Natalie, sweetheart, you deserve the world. Inside and outside of the bedroom. Now come here, let me make it up to you.” 

His hands slid down and grabbed you under your ass, pulling you into his arms, pressing his mouth against yours and your body instantly reacted to him, fingers tugging at his hair, wetness pooling in your panties as his cock dragged across your pelvis. 

He laid you down gently on the bed, snuggling in next to you until you two were spooning. Jake pulled your panties down and flung them over the edge of the bed, settling his large fingers between your legs. While lying on your left side, you lifted your right leg over his, giving Jake more access to your core, and he pressed down on your swollen clit, making you gasp. “Like that, baby?” he whispered softly in your ear, trailing light kisses down your neck and you laid back against him, moaning under his tongue. Jake sped up his pace before dipping lower, circling your entrance and finally pushing two fingers in, filling you up as you chanted his name. His other hand slid beneath your body, holding your waist firmly, and you could feel how hard he was against your ass. 

“Please, Jake,” you moaned, “need you in me.” 

Behind you, Jake grunted and you shifted your hips back against him, feeling him line himself up with your entrance. The tip of his cock was warm and wet and he swore lightly as he pushed the head inside of you, feeling your walls suck him in greedily. “Shit,” he murmured against your shoulder. 

“Yes, baby,” you muttered, gripping the sheets as he pressed in deeper. 

Jake’s hand moved up to cup your breast, fingers tight across your nipple, as his hips snapped against yours from behind. “Fuck, you’re so perfect,” Jake whispered raggedly in your ear, picking up his pace. “Such a good girl,” he muttered, rutting into you harder and you gasped as his cock hit deeper inside of you. 

You could feel yourself edging closer to orgasm, even without Jake touching your clit, the pressure building as he repeatedly hit your front wall. “Jake, yes,” you moaned as his fingers trailed over your stomach and pressed firmly into your lower abdomen. “Fuck, please, make me cum.” 

“Cum for me sweetheart,” he murmured against you, arms tightening and pulling your body against him as his hips smacked against yours, the loud sound filling the room. “Want to feel your perfect pussy clenching around me.” 

“Shit!” you cried out, convulsing against Jake as he grunted, hand digging into your hip, cock sliding in and out faster as he chased his own high. 

“Fuck, Nat!” he sobbed, pushing into your deeper one last time and you felt his cock twitch inside of you as he poured into your core. 

Jake didn’t pull out immediately. Instead, he moved his arms up until he was holding you around the middle, kissing your shoulder. 

“Baby,” he whispered softly and you closed your eyes. “I am so damn lucky.” 

Your fingers pressed against his. You didn’t need to say anything. He knew what you were thinking, because he was thinking it, too. 

You loved Jake Seresin. 

And you were pretty sure he loved you back. 

***

“I think it’s time.” Jake’s voice was velvety over the phone. 

“Time for what?” you said, yawning. You were lying in bed, about to go to sleep. It had been a long day at the office and your brain was scrambled eggs. 

“For you to meet Ellie.” You shot up in bed to a seated position, your eyes wide. You and Jake had been together nearly three months at this point. “Are you sure?” 

“I’m just deciding things as I go, Nat,” he said quietly into the phone. “I haven’t done this before. As a parent, you have to be really careful about who you introduce to your child. You need to make sure they’re someone who is going to stick around. I can’t bring people into Ellie’s life who are just going to be fleeting characters.” 

He paused. 

“So I guess I’m asking you, sweetheart. Are you ready?” 

You nodded and then realized he couldn’t see you through the phone. “Yes, Jake, I want to meet her. I’m ready.” 

***

Standing on the wrap around porch of Jake’s house, you could almost feel the warmth inside. Jake had invited you over for their annual Christmas tree night: set up the tree, bake cookies, watch a movie. You got the feeling that it was a tradition that he and Ellie held very dearly, and you were honored to be included. 

Taking a few deep breaths, you lifted your fingers and knocked on the door. 

It swung open to reveal Jake wearing a green cable knit sweater and jeans, smiling broadly. 

“Hi,” you whispered softly. 

“Hey there,” he said and you had expected him to lean in for a kiss, until you saw the small fingers wrapped around his leg. “Come on in.” 

He shut the door behind you and you smiled, Ellie’s small golden head peeking out from behind Jake. 

“Ellie, honey, this is daddy’s friend Natalie. Can you say hi?” 

You crouched down and smiled and Ellie slowly let go of her dad’s leg, stepping to the side. “Hi!” Her voice was squeaky and delightful. She wore a small red dress with white tights, her lips a shiny pink, her blonde curls pulled back from her face with a small bow clip. 

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” you said softly. “Your dad has told me so much about you.” 

She smiled. “You’re pretty.” 

Jake laughed and held out a hand, pulling you to standing. “Yes, she is,” he said gently. “Come on, sweetpea, let’s go check on the cookies.” 

Ellie grinned, and you saw Jake so plainly etched across her features, before darting down the hallway toward what you could only assume was the kitchen. Jake turned to you and once Ellie was out of view, pressed his lips to yours softly. 

“Thanks for coming,” he murmured. 

“Thanks for inviting me.” 

He placed his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the kitchen. Jake’s house was traditional, with white walls and mid-wall paneling, soft wooden accents, and hardwood floors. It felt straight out of a southern magazine. You had to stop yourself from searching for photos of Lizzie to make comparisons with yourself. 

In the kitchen, Ellie kneeled on a stool, her small hands pressing into a blob of pale cookie dough and she had somehow managed to get white flour all down the front of her dress in the thirty seconds it had taken you and Jake to follow her down the hall. 

“Sweetheart, did you spill?” Jake asked softly, crossing the room and pulling Ellie into his arms, dusting the flour from her dress as she laughed.

“Daddy!” she squealed. “Let me go!” 

He set her back down on the chair she had been kneeling on, and waved you over. “Come help us, Nat. We’re terrible at cutting the cookies.”

“I’m making Santa hats,” Ellie said, looking up at you. You recognized Jake’s green eyes looking out at you from her delicate face and stepped closer, rolling up the sleeves of your sweater and turning to the sink. 

“Wow Santa hats,” you said, washing your hands and patting them dry with a towel before returning to the other side of the kitchen island. “How are you going to decorate them?” 

“With frosting!” 

Her smile was infectious. Jake patted her head softly. “The frosting is her favorite part. Well that, and eating the raw cookie dough.” 

You watched Ellie sneak an edge of raw dough in her mouth and give you a sly grin. You reached down and popped a scrap of sugar cookie dough into your mouth and Ellie giggled. “That’s my favorite part too,” you whispered.  

It felt almost surreal watching Jake interact with Ellie. You knew that he was sweet and kind, but this was a new side of him that you got a front row seat to. The way he grinned at her and laughed as she wiped her flour-covered hands on his sweater. How his voice dipped into a softer register when he was showing her how to transfer the cookies onto the baking tray, the way he seamlessly chatted with her while mixing food coloring into the frosting bowls. 

Jake had tied an apron around you, but by the time the cookies were done baking you were still covered in flour and frosting and sprinkles. At one point you had accidently dropped almost an entire bottle of green sprinkles on the counter, and Ellie proceeded to dip her Santa hat cookie in it, resulting in a hybrid of elf hats alongside the red Santas. 

“We’ll be right back, sweetheart,” Jake said to Ellie, patting her head where she sat on the couch. “Going to find Natalie a clean shirt to wear and when I come back we can start getting the Christmas tree decorated, OK?” 

She nodded excitedly and he pressed the TV on, starting The Grinch, the Jim Carrey version, and placed his hand on your lower back, leading you upstairs to the master bedroom. Jake opened a drawer and pulled out a soft flannel button down. 

“Does this work?” he asked, eyeing your dirty sweater. 

“Perfect.” 

You reached out and took it in your hands, skin brushing against Jake. For a moment, you could tell there was something he wanted to say. But then he simply smiled. “I should get back down there,” he replied. “Come down whenever you’re ready.” 

You nodded and watched him disappear down the stairs. Stripping off your dirty sweater, you pulled on Jake’s flannel, which fell to your knees but you didn’t care. You folded the used sweater and placed it on the ground before standing up and coming face-to-face with a wedding photo of Jake and Lizzie. 

To your horror, she looked just like the woman from your dream. She was unapologetically beautiful. Creamy skin, shiny blonde hair that fell in silky waves, bright white smile, piercing blue eyes. Her nose was slightly crooked, like Ellie’s, and the way Jake looked at her in the photo made your heart plummet in your chest. You had never once seen him look so happy. So at ease. It broke your heart a little to know that Jake had lost someone who made him look that way. 

The knowledge that you were standing in the bedroom that Jake once, in not the too distant past, shared with his wife was too much. It felt stifling. You took a deep breath and hurried down the stairs. 

From around the corner, you saw Jake bent over a green storage container, handing a small woven ornament to Ellie. She grabbed it lightly and then you watched as he picked her up, holding her out so she could place it on a branch at his eye level. When he put her back down she excitedly reached back into the storage container for another ornament. 

Watching them felt like looking at a stopped movie frame. Fire roaring away, a Christmas movie playing in the background, the scent of fresh cookies still clinging to the air. 

It scared you how much you wanted to stay there in that moment. Just a slice of time, perfectly frozen. 

How much you wanted to be part of their lives. 

The rest of the night was spent helping Jake and Ellie decorate the tree. You loved that they used colored lights, and packed the ornaments onto every available space. There were ones from places they had traveled together, like a Disneyland ornament from the year before, and homemade ones Ellie had done at daycare. 

When you sat down to finish the movie, Jake seamlessly handed you a glass of wine from your Napa trip, pulling Ellie onto his lap, her tiny feet in her white stockings kicking at his legs until he whispered into her ear and she giggled before settling down. 

By the time the Grinch had returned the Whos’ Christmas gifts and decorations, you looked over to see Ellie asleep on Jake’s chest. He leaned over and pressed the remote, pausing the movie, and you saw Ellie stir in his arms. 

“Daddy?” she whispered softly. “Is it over?” 

“It is,” he said back quietly. “Time for bed princess. Did you have a nice night?” 

She nodded and wiped at her eyes with small balled up fists before turning to you. “Natalie?” Her voice was soft and groggy. 

“Yeah hon?” 

“Will you come back for our next movie night?” 

Your heart swelled. Above Ellie’s head, you saw Jake’s eyes light up. You reached out and patted her knee. “I’d love to.” 

“Good.” 

Jake lifted her up into his arms, her chin resting on his shoulder. He mouthed to you. I’ll be right back. And then they were disappearing around the corner, up the stairs. 

You drained the rest of your wine by the time Jake came back downstairs. He caught you leaning over the sink, eating an elf hat cookie and wiping the crumbs on his flannel and he laughed. 

“Busted.”

You turned around, cookie crumbs on the corners of your mouth, and Jake stepped forward, wiping them away with his thumb. 

“There, all clean.” 

“What can I say, the kid makes a damn good cookie.” 

He reached down and threaded his fingers in yours. “You were amazing with her.” 

“She’s lovely, Jake. Honestly. I wasn’t sure what to expect but it’s obvious you’ve done a phenomenal job raising her.” 

There was a pause and you saw the lump growing in Jake’s throat. “It was mostly Lizzie,” he said softly. “Up until last year, I was barely around. I didn’t even know her, really. She grew so much every time I would see her between deployments, it was like she was a whole new person every time I came home. But now that I’m here with her, every day, it’s different.” 

“You can take some credit,” you whispered, leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re an amazing dad.” 

He smiled but you saw the sadness that had made itself a home in his eyes. 

“Thank you for letting me meet her,” you said quietly. “For taking a risk on me.” 

Jake leaned down and brushed the hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. His lips pressed against yours softly before he pulled away, leaning his forehead down against yours. “You’re worth the risk, Nat,” he murmured softly. “You’re exactly what I didn’t even know I was looking for.” 

Tag list: @double-j @seresinhangmanjake @topguncultleader @hangmandruigandmav @momc95 @minamisulemisa @shawnsblue @blue-aconite @brehonodea @crthurston @angelbabyange @jason-toddsthighs @secretsicanthideanymore @taytaylala12 @mandylove1000 @mizzzpink @showmethewayhomehoney @tvjunkie08 @mygyn @wkndwlff @sadpetalsstuff @shanimallina87 @averyhotchner @oneelleandaneye @starrynightskyz @daddymack01 @buxkybarnez @pookie-cleary @clairedelarosa-blog  @princessofglitterland  @tiredqueen73 @lovingjakeseresin @lilyevanswhore @kurtkunkle17 @amortentiadrops @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @abaker74 @xoxabs88xox @novagreen04 @townmoondaltwistle @rosiahills22 @indynerdgirl @entertainmentgal8 @misshoneypaper @starkleila @ebonyhogan24 @rosewritesitout @starrynightskyz

[nalgenewhore]

the way old friends do

rowan x aelin, elide x lorcan, modern au/neighbours au/platonic soulmates au, word count: 2920

Winter had finally arrived in Orynth, and Aelin could not have been happier. She used to loathe her commute home, when she had to trudge through the dreary downtown core which was a jungle of concrete and glass skyscrapers. Snow made everything better, she decided. 

Aelin loved everything about winter. The snow was her favourite part, of course, and the fashion. With all the necessary layers, the possibilities were endless.

She tucked her chin into her soft scarf as the wind picked up and blew snowflakes into her red cheeks, but even that wasn’t enough to dim her cheer.

Her love for layering inevitably bit her in the ass when she got to her door after having climbed up to the fourth floor. Aelin panted a bit, positively drowning in her sweat. 

She swung her bag around to dig for her keys. Just as she found them, buried under all her other junk, the door across from hers opened. Aelin turned and smiled easily at her handsome neighbour. “Hey there. Fancy meeting you here,” she teased.

Rowan huffed a soft laugh, stepping out into the hall. “I thought I heard someone huffing and puffing up those stairs.” He walked over to her.

Aelin gasped in offence. “How dare you?” She hit his chest with her leather gloves. 

He cupped her face in his hands, still chuckling when he leaned down to kiss her. “Come over,” Rowan murmured. “Feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Humming against her boyfriend’s lips, Aelin thought for a moment. “I don’t know…” she said as she pulled away, “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your peace and quiet with all my huffing and puffing, would I?”

Rowan smirked, “Well, maybe I can make you huff and puff for another reason.” The moment the words left his mouth, he wrinkled his nose and grimaced. Aelin did the same. “That was… bad. But still, come over? Please?”

She laughed before kissing him again and letting him pull her over to his door. “Yeah, I’ll let you make it up to me for that horrible line.”

The look he gave her, pine green eyes smouldering, made her stomach twist deliciously.

“Oh, I will.”

✵✵✵✵✵

A while later, the only sound that filled Rowan’s room was soft pants, though it wasn’t Aelin huffing and puffing this time. 

She grinned proudly as he rolled over, effectively pinning her to the bed, again. “Round three, already?” Aelin purred, her arms twisting around his neck. 

Rowan kissed her, but he didn’t push further than that. “Not yet,” he said. He brushed her hair back from her forehead, looking utterly satisfied with himself. Pushing himself off of her, Rowan got out of bed and donned his previously discarded pants. “I’m going to shower.”

Aelin lifted her arms above her head and shamelessly stretched her bare body like a cat. “Mmm,” she groaned, easing the light strain in her muscles. A smug grin pulled at her plump lips when Rowan’s appreciative gaze burned over her skin. “I’m gonna eat something and call Ellie.”

Her boyfriend made a little face. “Why’re you calling Elide? You saw her this morning, didn’t you?”

“So?” Aelin asked, frowning. “I have to tell her I won’t be home tonight. She’ll worry if I don’t.”

Aelin lounged in his bed for a couple more minutes before finally rousing. She put on one of his t-shirts and used a pair of his boxers as shorts. 

She wandered into his apartment while she tapped Elide’s number into her phone, but when she passed by Rowan’s roommate’s room, she paused. “Ellie?” she said, moving to stand in Lorcan’s doorway.

Elide was in her own boyfriend’s bed, although while he slept, she was working on a knitting project Aelin hadn’t seen yet. She was about seventy-five percent sure that it was her birthday gift. Aelin was excited – that rich maroon wool was gorgeous, and she’d always wanted a piece made exclusively by Elide. 

Her friend smiled, her hands stilling. “Ae,” she all but squealed. Elide put down her knitting, then covertly covered it with the blanket. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were working late tonight.”

“Oh,” Aelin waved her hand dismissively, “I finished early, and Rowan caught me outside.”

Elide smiled, gesturing her inside. 

Aelin didn’t hesitate, nevermind the unconscious man. “Have we ever spent the night at the same time?” She gasped, oddly ecstatic about that. It seemed fun, for whatever reason.

“I don’t think so,” Elide said, clutching hands with Aelin. “It’s kinda fun.”

“Right?”

They went silent when Lorcan sighed deeply, but the man only turned over mid-sleep and slept facing away from them. Elide capitalised on the opportune space. “Sit, sit with me.”

Aelin frowned a bit, nodding her chin towards the mass of man behind Elide. “He won’t think it’s weird?”

“Probably, but he’s asleep,” Elide reasoned. 

Aelin didn’t need to be told twice. 

✵✵✵✵✵

When Lorcan woke up, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. He could feel someone next to him. The knowledge that it was Elide made the corners of his mouth curl up. He turned over, instinctively reaching for her. 

He froze when his hand landed on a waist that was certainly not Elide’s. Without daring to breathe, Lorcan looked over and saw his worst nightmare. Quickly, he snatched his hand back, but not quickly enough to avoid waking Elide and Aelin.

Two pairs of eyes opened up to stare at him, though the girls themselves remained motionless as they spooned. 

“Are you serious,” he asked, his voice deadpanned. “In my bed, right next to me?” Lorcan glared at Aelin before levelling his eyes on his girlfriend.

Elide gently moved Aelin’s arm to sit up. She smiled sleepily at him, looking so soft and joyful that he couldn’t stay mad. “Hi, baby,” she whispered. Her fingers came to rest on his jaw and the side of his neck while she kissed him. 

He melted a bit, wrapping his arm around Elide’s waist, fully indulging in her embrace. 

She hummed in appreciation. Elide pressed a little closer, putting her other hand on his chest while she sucked on his bottom lip. 

The thought of Aelin was shoved to the back of his mind, out of sight.

At least it was, until someone started flicking the back of his hand. 

Lorcan pulled away from Elide abruptly. “What the fuck?” Over Elide’s shoulder, he narrowed his eyes at the blonde menace, who was still flicking his hand. “Aelin.”

“You’re interrupting.”

Elide looked over at her friend. She clicked her tongue, “Honey, play nice” She batted Aelin’s hand away from Lorcan, then distractedly kissed his cheek. “Sorry, baby. Aelin, say sorry to Lorcan.”

“Sorry to Lorcan.”

“Aelin,” Elide chided.

“It’s fine.” Lorcan wasn’t the smartest man, but he knew when to pick his battles. Even if he was the smartest man, he would never try to come between Elide and Aelin. It was a suicide mission. Instead, Lorcan just smoothed his hand over Elide’s head. “Do you two want tea?”

“Ooh, yes,” Elide said.

Aelin piped up as she wrapped her arms around Elide from behind. “Yes, please.” She addressed Elide, “Ain’t he sweet? You trained him good.”

He gave her a simpering smile. Admitting defeat, he got out of bed and scrubbed his eyes. He grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over his head. “Alright, I’ll be back.”

As he left, Aelin and Elide resumed their cuddling position, though they faced each other.

Nothing about their friendship was what he considered normal. When he first started dating Elide, it freaked him out, but he’d gotten used to it. It took him a while to learn his lesson, though. Lorcan still didn’t completely understand it. All he knew was that Elide loved Aelin like no one else, and Aelin felt the same about Elide. 

In the hallway, he ran into Rowan, who was exiting the bathroom. “Hey.”

“Hey, man. Is Elide over?”

He nodded, “Yeah, she’s with Aelin.”

Rowan frowned a bit. “Where?”

“In my bed.” Lorcan answered with a flat look.

His roommate started a bit. “Wha- doing what?”

He shrugged, “Napping, I guess.”

Rowan crossed his arms. “Napping?”

“Mm-hmm. They’re cuddling.”

“In your bed?”

“What did I just say?” Lorcan frowned. “Are you stupid, or something?” He shook his head and made to go into the kitchen. He was hungry. Lorcan figured after he made their tea, he’d make dinner too. Maybe a stir-fry.

Of course, he’d make enough for Elide, and if he made enough for Elide, he’d have to make some for Aelin. Neither of them ate meat, but he had tofu, so that wasn’t an issue. He’d probably have to make some for Rowan too. “You want stir-fry? I’m making some for Lee and Aelin.”

Rowan snorted, “My girlfriend just kicked you out of your own bed to cuddle with your girlfriend, and you’re making her food.”

“So?”

His shoulders shook with laughter. “You’re whipped, man. What happened to you?”

Again, Lorcan shrugged. It didn’t really bother him anymore. He’d been dating Elide longer than Rowan had been dating Aelin, and he’d known her before then, too. “If you wanna go and tell Aelin to get out, be my guest.” It’s your funeral, he thought.

Rowan straightened his shoulders and rolled his neck. “Maybe I will.”

Lorcan held in his laughter. “Maybe you should. What are you, chicken?” He taunted his friend with an arched brow. 

“I’m not chicken.”

Laughing, Lorcan went, “Bawk, bawk, bawk.”

“If I’m a chicken, then you’re a little bitch. You let them walk all over you,” Rowan accused. He lifted his chin in challenge. “Watch this.”

“Oh, I will.” Lorcan leaned against the counter as he watched his friend saunter towards his room. 

Less than a minute later, Rowan came back, looking like a whipped dog with its tail between its legs. High-pitched cackles followed him, and Lorcan didn’t bother hiding his smirk. “How’d it go?”

“Shut it,” Rowan growled. “Fuck, they’re terrifying, why didn’t you tell me?”

Lorcan chuckled unkindly, “You had to learn.” His roommate sent him a murderous glare. The kettle started to boil, and he nodded his chin towards it. “Can you get that? They want tea.”

It seemed Rowan had gotten the message that Elide and Aelin’s requests should always be acquiesced. He filled two mugs, leaving them to steep. Leaning his hip against the counter, he pressed, “C’mon, don’t you find it a bit,” Rowan made a face, “weird that they cuddle like that?”

“Not really. They tell me we’re missing out on the,” Lorcan made air quotes, “‘joys of platonic physical intimacy’, whatever that means.”

“I hope you know I’m perfectly fine missing out on physical intimacy with you,” Rowan retorted.

Lorcan held his hand to his heart like he’d been shot. “Damn, Ro. You really know how to let a guy down easy.”

“Shut up, dumbass.”

After another minute, the girls came out of Lorcan’s room, chatting amongst themselves. Elide pranced over to Lorcan and wound her arms around his waist. “Can I help with dinner?”

“Mmm, no, it’s ok,” Lorcan told her. “I'm thinking mee goreng."

“Ooh, that sounds good,” Elide smiled. She half-turned to address the other couple who were similarly entwined by the island. “Do you two want to watch a movie tonight? There’s that new whodunit that looks fun.”

Aelin nodded, “Movie night! Rowan, you in?”

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded. He exchanged a look with Lorcan, the both of them communicating that neither one of them really had a choice in the matter. 

Lorcan leaned down to kiss Elide’s head. “Why don’t you go sit down, and I’ll make dinner?”

Elide didn’t need much convincing to seat herself at the kitchen island and wait for their meal to be made. Shortly after she did, Aelin joined her while Rowan fixed their teas to each of their likings. 

“What agreeable boyfriends we have,” Elide teased. She delicately sipped, then grinned at Rowan, “Thank you, Rowan. It’s perfect.”

The silver-haired man inclined his head. “My pleasure.” He left the women to their teas, first going to change before he returned to help Lorcan with dinner.

Some years ago, the two of them had met while working in the same restaurant. They had both been hired as chefs until Rowan decided he preferred being behind the bar than in the kitchen. While neither still worked at the same restaurant and Rowan had moved on from the industry entirely, they’d stayed close friends after. 

When Aelin and Elide finished their mugs of tea, Rowan made them their preferred cocktails – a French 75 and a gin and tonic, respectively. He gave them a plate of snacks to tide them over for the time being. 

The women took their appetisers and moved to the living room to start their movie.

In the kitchen, Rowan and Lorcan moved just like old times. Efficient, flawless, knowing what one another needed with minimal communication. 

Aelin sipped on her delicate, sparkling drink. She studied Elide with twinkling eyes. “So, Ellie, I saw your new knitting project. Anything special?”

Her friend looked back at her, a knowing grin ghosting over her heart-shaped lips. “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, my dear,” she answered. 

“Alright, Lochan,” Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Keep your secrets. You know I won’t rest until I figure it out.”

“Things will come to you when they come to you,” warned Elide , “and not a minute sooner.” Aelin might be a word-class sneak, but Elide was well practised in foiling Aelin’s attempts. She drank some more of her cocktail while the guys finished up in the kitchen. 

They snacked on Rowan’s first offerings, talking about their days. 

Just as they finished their drinks, new ones were delivered alongside bowls of fragrant, steaming mee goreng. 

Aelin moved to sit with Rowan on the loveseat, leaving the dark-haired couple on the oversized armchair.

Elide smiled as Lorcan took his seat next to her, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, love.” She curled into his side while he wrapped an arm around her. “And thank you, too, Rowan.”

He inclined his head, “You’re welcome, Elide.”

As she took her first bite, Elide groaned in satisfaction. “Babe,” she mumbled around her full mouth, “is so good!” With another hum, she used her chopsticks to push more noodles into her mouth. 

Lorcan smiled and dug into his own bowl as Rowan started the movie. 

If either one of them thought they could enjoy a peaceful movie-watching, they were kidding themselves. 

Aelin and Elide took great delight in theorising who the real killer was. Their cunning minds solved and subsequently ruined the plot for their boyfriends, who had been perfectly happy to remain unaware. 

“I told you the ruby necklace was important,” Elide declared. 

To be honest, neither Rowan nor Lorcan had noticed the ruby necklace. Her boyfriend just gave her a congratulatory kiss before the men got up to tidy. 

Elide moved to sit with Aelin. They pored over the plot, exchanging clues the other hadn’t picked up on and devising conspiracies for the next movie. 

They stopped short of re-watching the same film, if only because Rowan had set up some work he needed to get done at the kitchen table. Aelin pranced over to him, giving him a hug and expressing her gratitude for their delicious dinner. 

Elbows locked together, the duo retreated to Rowan’s room to continue their conspiratorial conversation. 

✵✵✵✵✵

It was just past midnight when Rowan shut off his laptop. He scrubbed his eyes as he got to his feet, then yawned. 

Rowan padded through the quiet, dark apartment to his bedroom. His roommate’s door was shut, and while he hadn’t seen anything, Rowan assumed Elide had gone to sleep with him. 

He was mistaken though as he walked into his room, stopping short. Rowan stared at his bed, where Aelin and Elide were peacefully snoozing. The smaller brunette slept with her head nestled on his girlfriend’s shoulder, Aelin’s arm wrapped snugly around her. 

The scene was entirely too similar to the position he typically found himself in with Aelin.

As he stood silent, Rowan sorely weighed his options. If he woke them up to demand his bed back as well as his girlfriend, then he’d be incurring the wrath of the both of them. Plus, if he did that, then upsetting Elide would no doubt set Lorcan on the warpath.

Resignedly, Rowan sighed to himself and grabbed his sleep pants before retreating. He got changed in the bathroom, then walked to the bedroom across from his. 

Opening the door made Lorcan wake up. He made a noise in the back of his throat, “Ro?”

“Your girlfriend,” Rowan all but growled, “stole my bed. And my girlfriend.”

Lorcan’s laugh was rough from sleep. He flipped the other half of his duvet up and tossed a pillow onto the empty side. “You can sleep here, but we are not spooning, I don’t care how much you want to.”

“I would rather live in Hellas’ cold, dark realm before I spoon you.”

As it turned out, the next morning, when Rowan woke up more rested and refreshed than he could remember being, he was pressed against Lorcan’s side. 

Lorcan’s eyes slit open when he felt someone staring at him. He looked down at Rowan, his eyes widening only for a minute before he smirked. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could ya?” he laughed. 

Without shifting positions, Rowan put his head back down, “Shut up, dumbass.

✵✵✵✵✵

an: arent they cuuuuuttttiiieeesssss <3

tag list (lmk if u want to be added!): @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @the-regal-warrior @celestialams @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn

[s-4pphics]

a lil meanmechanic!ellie and snobbybitch!reader hc list bc i’m clinically ill and my dark thoughts always win i was gonna write a lil fic but i got tired lol long day 

but hopefully thisll suffice for now😚idk how many imma make for them but the sex gon go crazy

wc;cw: 930 real short n sweet, slutty rude annoying rich!oc, i’m not kidding she’s a bad person, more monologues when will it end, oc is horny and a top letting y’all know rn, imma make this toxic🤭

your shiny brand new pink bentley just stopped working! what the fuck! 

after your dad gifted you your third new car, he instructed you to pull up to the swarovski store and pick up your sparkly limited edition lavender tinted lux chrono watch…. and this happens!

how the fuck were you going to get your new watch without transportation?!

you pulled your phone outta your chanel bag and googled car stopped help…

call a tow truck?!

don’t people just buy new cars when they stop working?! 

you dialed the first number suggested online 

“YELLO!” a friendly gruff voice came through the phone

“ummm, hi, my car stopped working— “

“okay, great! where’s your car located?”

“it’s uh.. near this mall complex.” 

“…okay. i mean…. i mean what’s the address?”

…. you don’t fucking know, you’re stranded!

after spending the next ten minutes asking strangers where the hell you were, you irritatingly whined the address to the man on the phone

why does nothing go your way?!

“okay great! we’ll be there in about an hour to get it!” 

an hour?!

but your swarovski watch—!

“hello?” 

“…yeah, whatever.” you said, hanging up.

this is fucking stupid!

after an hour of angrily pouting in your front seat, you saw a red truck pull up behind you in your rearview 

fucking finally!

you got out your new baby and saw—

oh, fuck

oh fuck!

WEEEEEEWOOOOOOWWEEEEEE—

your brain was sending off red alarms!

behind the man, there was a girl in overalls and a wife-beater, dirty sneakers(yuck!), and a bandana on to keep her sweaty hair outta her face

and your mood immediately got better! 

she’s sexy she’s sexy she’s sexy she’s sexy—

“um, hi! ‘m joel! you called for a tow?” 

oh yeah

“y-yup! that’s me! my cars over there,” you pointed in some random direction as you stared at the girl 

“….okay, uh, we’ll get that loaded and we’ll head over to the repair shop!”

“uh huh,” you were so dazed as you watched her biceps ripple as she got some paperwork outta the car 

“….right!” and he walked away

she’s coming over oh god she’s coming over!

“hey. this your car?”

“mhm!” 

you looked at her name tag 

ellie

hm…wanna fuck?—

“cool. just need you to sign here. we’ll do the diagnosis when we get to the shop—“

you didn’t even care about what the fuck she was saying

you wanna eat her out so bad and buy her whatever she wants 

you work so hard, baby, lemme take the stress away! 

“…are you gonna sign…or?”

you were too busy looking at her freckled face and scarred eyebrows to notice she was holding a clipboard out to you 

how about you sign these damn wedding papers! 

“sorry!”

“it’s cool…yeah, just sign at the bottom.” 

she pointed at the dotted line with her calloused finger and you almost sucked it into your mouth! 

turn her out turn her out!

she finally met your eyes 

you wanted her clit in your mouth—!

“um… you can hop in the truck and we’ll head over, it’s like.. 20 minutes—“

“great! let’s go!”

ride my face!

when you arrived at the dealership, you got…. uncomfortable. 

why was it so loud and… grungy looking?

the nice man that answered the phone—joel— guided you into the garage and ushered you to sit on…. dirty chairs and you wanted god to strike you down now

“we’re gonna take a look at your car! it’s in pretty good condition so it shouldn’t be long!” joel screamed at you from the garage exit

you sat and nodded and 

you looked so outta place in here 

pastel colors, shimmery necklace and bracelets, heels!

you stood out like a sore thumb!

rusted, eggshell walls, dimly lit, dusty floor

you wanna leave so bad what the fuck—

“hey!” 

sike you wanna stay ellie’s so fucking fine—

“your car battery’s connection is loose, we’re gonna replace it—“

“today's my birthday!”

you were biting your lip and looking at her with glossy lust filled eyes and you wanted your head between her thighs—

“….’scuse me?”

“it’s my birthday!”

“happy….. happy birthday?” 

“thank you!” now lemme give you head—

“uh huh….. so, the replacement battery is gonna be $60, i can ring you up right now so you're not waiting when your car’s charged.”

you followed her to the desk and….

her fucking back and her shoulders and her ass—

her back her back! you wanna scratch it and make her scream!—

“cash or card?”

“card. my black card!” she needa know you’ll buy her everything—

“….right. go ‘head and swipe.”

you wanna swipe your tongue on her pussy!

but you swiped your card 

and you also reached in your chanel and grabbed a couple hundreds out

“here you go! for your troubles!” 

“what.”

“you fixed my baby! you should get a huge tip! like a really…. really fat one!

lemme give you this tip!

she must’ve noticed your tone, nastily sweet like honey, because her eyes widened before she let out a shocked scoff

you have her you have her—

“are you kidding me right now?” 

what. 

“hm?”

“i’m askin’ if you’re fucking serious? we don’t accept charity.” and she got up

and she looked mad

what the hell?

“w-what! no, it’s not like that— “

“yeah, whatever, your car will be ready in 20. you can take your money and get the hell out.” 

and she stormed off with a slam of the back door. 

…..

oh my god?

…

you want her even more now! 

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Still thinking about the Vardy au, so here's a little thing with them talking to each other. This is... probably before their relationship really got started, but there's some developing things between them.

As always with this au, Hardy is a vampire (and he's terrible at it, but he's been alive for nearly a century so something's working), and Lucian shows up in Broadchurch to chase down some creatures causing trouble. He ends up joining the investigation to help.

On with the fic!

--

"You said tea is something you can drink? Ellie told me to give it to you, and she said, in her own words, 'that he better drink every last damn drop'."

Hardy looked up at the man standing before him and his desk, holding a take-away cup in each hand. He scowled, of course Miller was telling Lucian things, she seemed to trust him far more than Hardy did.

"Did she make it?" He asked, taking the cup handed to him.

"She did, said it had exactly what you needed in it."

He popped the lid off and sniffed it, blood, and the office's typical brand of black tea. He wondered where she got the blood, is she hiding a stash so she makes sure he actually consumes some outside of his blood pills? Uhg.

He put the lid back on and took a sip, he would never admit that she knew exactly how to make tea the way he liked it best. Hardy watched as Lucian sat down on the couch across from him, drinking from his own cup.

"Did you need something?" Hardy asked, setting his glasses on his face before grabbing for one of the files on his desk.

"I am a bit curious about something."

"And that would be?"

"Why are you so resistant to consuming blood when you know you need it? Your friend has to sneak it into your drinks, and I've seen her put it on whatever food she brings you." Lucian leaned forwards, elbows on his knees, a studious look on his face. Hardy hated it when people tried to read him.

He glanced at the cup of tea, making a face at it. "I have no choice but to accept that I am a vampire, but that doesn't mean I have to do everything those beasts do."

"Blood is necessary."

"I have my ways of consuming it."

"You mean the pills? The dry blood you keep on your person?"

Hardy glared at him now. "It works."

Lucian sighed and leaned back. "I am still unsure of your vampire kind, but I have met quite a number of them in my long life. And yours? I am very... confused by it. I have seen vampires who have avoided drinking fresh blood, only to go feral. My kind's vampires drank from animals, and humans, but soon learned to make a synthetic blood. I know those who feed from animals, do you?"

"No, I don't like the taste, but I'll drink it if I have to." Hardy said, setting aside the file, grabbing another one instead. "And I do have blood bags at home, I just try to not drink it around people except my family. And Miller, but that's only because she found out."

"I see. It confuses me that you also consume blood with human food, does that help?"

"You sure have a lot of questions."

"Like you, detective, I am a curious person." Lucian smiled and Hardy huffed at him.

He took a drink from the tea and set it aside. "It's strange, I can eat a few things, mainly meat, but it has to be... iron-rich? I guess it helps if I'm not drinking blood. Toast is weird, doesn't bother me, but most foods make me sick or tastes like ash. It's a weird side-effect, but it helps to blend in. Why do you want to know these things?"

Lucian stared at him and Hardy frowned, feeling nervous. "I'm worried about you."

"You don't know me, you have no reason to." Hardy stated without much thought.

"I am allowed to worry about you."

"Why?"

He watched the lycan rise from the couch, he just smiled at Hardy as he walked out of the office, closing the door behind him. Hardy sat there quietly for a moment, completely confused by what just happened.

Why would Lucian worry about him? It's not like he cares.

Right?

[youvebeenlivingfictionalnbcyoa]

You Definitely Are

Starting Choose Your Own Adventure Post

Warnings: Fluff; cursing

Yes, you’re tired. Yes, your knee hurts. But you didn’t come all this way to stay in your room and not get any face-time with Bateman. If that had been the plan, you never would’ve shown at all. 

“Yeah,” You nod. “Yeah, I’ll be there. But, um—” You try not to get sidetracked by the way Nathan’s eyes seem to brighten with intrigue, “If I’m gonna be there, I should probably, you know. Shower and stuff.”

“Of course. C’mon.” 

Nathan waves you after him, leading the way out of the room. You trail him back to the elevator, pass still in hand. It’s just another floor down before Nathan is nodding you toward a keypad in the hall. You raise your pass to it almost hesitantly, as if you expect him to lead you don't think it’ll work—as if you expect him to lead you wrong. Maybe you do, a little. You don’t exactly trust his instincts; he did invite you all up on a seemingly tipsy whim. 

Nonetheless, the keypad changes color; you hear the lock click. You pull the door open and step inside, looking around. The room is large, and furnished more nicely than you’d expected. You shrug your bag off, dropping it at the end of the bed and drifting deeper inside. You lightly trail your fingers over the end of the bed, looking at the screen, then down at the small glowing fridge. 

“Like it?” Bateman asks. 

“It’s nice,” You nod, glancing back at him. 

“Nicer than you thought?” 

“Way nicer than I thought,” You nod. “I figured you’d be one of those like, weirdly stingy rich guys. I was expecting an air mattress.”

“I can get you an air mattress.” 

“I said I was expecting it, not that I want it.”

“What else were you expecting?” 

“Well,” You sigh, planting your hands on your hips, “I was hoping you’d actually turn up to the field in, like, a Jeep from the set of Jurassic Park.” 

“Maybe get Will to do the, uh—The sunglasses pull off when I pull up to the facility.” 

“He’d do it.” 

“So you would be the Ellie Satler in that scenario?” 

“Eesh, I don’t know. I think if he gripped and turned my head, I’d sock him in the stomach.” 

Nathan chuckles, turning from you. “I’ll see you at dinner.” 

“What are we having?” 

“Fun.” 

“What are we eating,” You clarify. 

“You’ll see.” 

Nathan gives you one more smile before he leaves, shutting the door behind himself. You find yourself biting your lip as he goes, your hand rising to scrub over your warming neck. Okay. So maybe you shouldn't be all that worried about the next few days.

--  

You try not to find the fact that William and Dan are still in their hiking clothes too funny. Dan at least looks pretty cute. He's always been a handsome man—towering over the rest of you at 6'4, he has dark skin and an athletic build. Frankly, he looks pretty good in his hiking clothes. But William looks like he went to hell and back and didn’t even get a t-shirt while he was down there. He looks miserable. It almost makes helping him with his bags worth it. You look away from him, eyeing your plate and poking at the few remaining pieces of pasta.

“So,” Nathan shifts in the seat beside you, taking hold of his wine and taking it up. “Obviously we’ll have a few days to get down to the real nitty-gritty, you know, the harsh stuff, but let’s just do a friendly little thought experiment.” 

You raise your brows, glancing between the guys and Nathan as he goes on—

“In your opinion, given the knowledge of the market and your previous work experience, am I taking the company in the right direction?” 

The question plunges you all into tense silence. It’s as if you’re all afraid to look around, afraid to breathe—as if Nathan’s just passed awful gas and not asked a simple question. But it’s not a simple question, is it, or a friendly little thought experiment, as he said.

It’s a test. 

You never did like tests.

“Absolutely—” 

“I couldn’t think of a better direction—”

Dan and William practically trip over themselves to answer, and you can hardly stop your eye roll. It’s done with such force that it tips your head to the side. Within seconds, you feel the weight of their gazes. 

“...I’ve got two answers,” Nathan pipes up. “Am I gonna get a third?” 

“You want more of the same?” You ask. 

“I want honesty.” 

“You really think that what you just got from them was honest?” 

It flies out of your mouth, and it’s a mistake. This dinner is supposed to be nice and light, something easy to set the tone for the next few days. Now, not only are you the only dissenting opinion, but you just technically threw your fellow Chief Officers under the bus in front of the company’s founder and CEO. 

“...You don’t think it was?” Nathan presses. 

Shit. You clear your throat, running your finger along the stem of your wine glass. 

“I don’t think…That Dan and William spoke outta their ass, but I think they were kissing yours a little when they did,” You admit before glancing doggedly at the two men across the table. “No offense, guys.”

“None taken,” Dan raises his glass in a cheers. William says nothing, just grunts and slides down in his seat a little. 

“So?” Nathan presses. “What’s your answer, honest or otherwise?” 

You scoff a scornful laugh, unable to help it. “What can I say without you busting my balls or thinking I’m jumping on the band wagon here?” 

“You must think I’m heading in the right direction if you’re worried about that.” His smile is smug as he says so. You push a sigh out through your nose, directing your gaze toward the ceiling as you consider. 

“I think the way you’re headed, yeah, it suits the market. But we’re lagging behind in certain areas and that makes me nervous.” 

“Which areas?—Don’t say chat AI—” 

“Look, like it or not, Microsoft got out of the gate first and Google’s jumping to catch up,” You speak up. “You have the resources, you have the data, and…I don’t know what the fuck you’re waiting for to enact it, but,” You wave your hand. “We’ve been market leaders and now it’s going to seem like we’re falling behind because Microsoft wanted to show everyone how big their dick is. And like it or not, it's looking pretty big.”��

The room is a different kind of quiet. It’s testy, and nerve wracking. 

“...Shots!” Dan pipes up. “Y’all want shots? Will, let’s go, uh—” He shoves his chair back, “C’mon, I think I saw a bottle of tequila earlier.” 

William moves slowly, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to catch in on any conversation, if he’s tired, or if he’s still stinging from the comment that you made. You look after them as they go before you redirect your gaze to Nathan. He’s shifted in his seat, gaze lingering heavily on your face. 

“...Should I go update my resume?” You ask after a moment. 

Nathan doesn’t answer before he pushes himself up from the table. Oh, what the hell—

“Come with me.”

You frown at the order, brows raising. Double what the hell—?

“Come on,” Nathan insists. 

“What about—” 

“Fuck them, get up,” He waves you toward him. “Let’s go.”

You hesitate before you groan, pushing yourself out of your seat and following him to the doorway. Is he going to lead you out into the woods and leave you to die or something? 

“Where are we going?” You ask, quickening your pace to keep up as he leads you around the corner. Nathan doesn’t answer. He just raises his pass to a keypad and opens the door. 

“Are you just gonna be all stony silent and…” You trail off, stepping in behind him. “And…” Your gaze sweeps across the row of monitors, the computer towers, the wall practically papered in post-its. 

“And what?” Nathan pushes into your silence.

“And…Weird—What is this?” You take the document held out to you. 

“Sign it,” He orders. 

“Dude, let me read it first, I don’t sign shit all willy-nilly.” Your eyes scan the test, brow furrowing as you take it all in—

The signee agrees to regular data audit with unlimited access, to confirm that no disclosure of information has taken place, in public or private forums, using any means of communication, including but not limited to that which is disclosed orally or in written or electronic form… 

“This is a fucking NDA,” You say. 

“Loving that reading comprehension.” 

You glance up as he holds a pen out, his brows raised in expectation. 

“...What is this for?” You press.

“Sign it, and I will show you where all that fucking data is going. You want your answers, I’ve got them. But you’ve got to sign this, and you cannot tell anyone, including the guys.” 

You frown, gaze sweeping over his face. You’re not sure if you trust him or not…But goddamn, you’re curious. You pluck the pen out of his hand, striding over to the table and setting the page down, scribbling your signature across it and dating the page. 

“Leave it there,” Nathan orders. “And follow me.” 

“Have you always been this bossy?” You grouse, hurrying to keep up again as he leaves the room. 

--  

The rows of lighted cases initially leave you with more questions than answers. You look around, frowning as you peer inside, and turning to look at Nathan as he reaches into a case. He’s holding an orb, a smooth, translucent surface with flickering lights and tendrils shifting beneath the surface. 

“...What the hell is this?” You ask, leaning against the case and peering down into his hands.

“Wetware.” 

“Which is…?” 

“The basis of BlueBook’s next step.” 

You’re quiet for a moment, hesitant as he passes it over to you. It’s a little lighter than you expected, far more squishy than you thought it would be. 

“Is this a gel?” You ask, fighting the urge to squeeze it. 

“Had to get away from circuitry. I needed something more malleable.” Nathan dips his head to catch and hold your eye. “This,” He points to the unit in your hand. “Is going to be more fucking significant than any of those chatbots. This is where we’re going.” 

“...Why are you telling me this?” You shake your head. “You could’ve left me with my questions.” 

“Because people like you are going to move this company forward.” 

It sends a bolt of shock through you. You don’t expect it; you don’t expect him to be like this with you. And then he adds, “And me, obviously. Primarily,” And he’s the Nathan that you’ve gotten to know in limited situations all over again. Your surprise melts to fond amusement. You pass him the unit back, trying to ignore the slight tingling in your belly as your fingers brush. You fold your arms, watching as he tenderly sets the unit back down. 

“So what does this go…In?” You ask after a moment, gaze flickering back to his. 

“That is in process.” 

“Am I gonna get kept in the loop, or is it all going to be one big surprise?” 

Nathan considers you for a moment before he simply straightens, nodding toward the door. 

“Let’s go find the guys,” He urges. “I was promised shots. Besides, you can’t keep throwing the guys under the bus if they’re not here.” 

“That’s not true,” You scoff. “Don’t limit me.” 

-- 

Nathan’s revelation is on your mind for the rest of the evening. You can’t knock it away, no matter how much you try—no matter how much enjoyment you get from knocking back drinks from the guys, and seeing Nathan try to teach William to dance. You find yourself leaning back against the couch, fingers tapping on your beer bottle as you remember the weight and feeling of the wetware in your hands. Your gaze flits to Nathan just in time to find him watching you. You expect him to look away, but instead, he smiles. You swipe your tongue over your lip before looking down at your drink again. 

It’s just a moment before the music is turned down. You vaguely note the sound of William and Dan leaving the room, and the thud of Nathan plopping down on the coffee table in front of you. 

“Where are they going?” You ask. 

“More drinks.” 

“They run dry already?” 

“Mhm. What’s going on with you?” 

“Nothing’s going on.” 

“You have been dead silent for two hours.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“You’ve been too quiet.” 

“I have…So many fucking questions,” You shake your head. Nathan is quiet for a moment before he reaches out, patting your knee.

“Tell you what,” He says, “I will throw time on the calendar tomorrow. You can ask whatever the fuck you want—Within reason.” 

You raise your brows, looking up at him. 

“Which topics are off-limits?” You ask. 

“I’ll send them in the meeting notes.” 

You smile, shaking your head and looking back down at your drink. 

“You’re so fucking…You’re freaky, dude,” You mutter, scrubbing your hand over your face. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Your brain is terrifying. And I mean that in the best way, but sometimes you come out with something or you do stuff where I’m just like…How the fuck? Like, does he sleep?” 

“I’ve been known to, yeah.” 

“Every day?”

“That would be excessive.” 

“Okay,” You scoff, setting your beer down. He doesn’t seem to even think or hesitate as he reaches out, taking your bottle up and taking a sip.

“Tell you what,” He adds. “Fuck the meeting tomorrow. Why don’t you stay on a few more days, we’ll go over the roadmap.” 

“Within reason?” 

“Within reason.” 

You consider for a moment, pursing your lips. 

“I’m gonna run out of clothes,” You point out.

“I’m sure I’ve got something you borrow. Barring that, and I realize this may shock you, but I do have a washing machine.”

“Oh, really? Thought you’d take your stuff to the river and pound it with a rock to get all of the stains out. You won’t run out of food, what with your whole one-man-in-the-middle-of-nowhere thing you got going? Am I gonna have to go out and hunt…Whatever the fuck wildlife is around here?” 

“I won’t make you hunt-hunt, but if it’s more fulfilling for you, I can make it a scavenger hunt. You liked the hike, right?” 

“I fucking hated the hike.” 

“What!” 

“Worst, like, hour and a half of my life.” 

“Why the hell did it take you an hour and a half?” 

“William spotted me and asked me to help him carry his shit.”

“You should’ve said no.“

“Well. I know that now.”  

“Three more days. I’ll take you through all of it.” 

“...Okay,” You agree after a moment. “Three more days.” 

“Good.” Nathan takes another sip from your bottle before he passes the bottle back to you. “I’d uh…I’d cheers, but I’m empty, so we’re just gonna share.” 

“Oh, we are? Thank you,” You reach out, taking the beer back from him. You raise your hand, saying, “Clink,” before you take a sip of your beer. Nathan chuckles, repeating, “Clink,” In a murmur.