#Ert Live

[erictrochu]

(ERT aka Eric TROCHU) 1577ème composition at Home "Live" , impromptue on Push 1, Gestrument 1, Arturia Piano Augmented, par tempête certaine et bonne humeur ! :)

[indigosepiacarmine]

a love letter to the fragility and resiliency of all the wild creatures of the forest, set to black pear tree by the mountain goats

physical copies available at my store

[no-light-left-on]

"Fuck you."

I've been re-reading What Lies Between Sorrow and Longing and since I am unwell about this entire fic I drew a scene from Chapter 4

[settecamara]

sergio ahead of misano eprix 2024.

[frostbitebakery]

THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JUST DES(S)ERTS

a Gooey-Wan story

Sitrep.

Cody stares at the tableau in front of him.

Palpatine’s body has gone cold and kind of more shrivel-y, still in that terror-filled, agonized fetal position.

A mouse droid steadily bumps into the corpse as it cleanses up nightmare sludge residue. The usual wails of eternal torment and stalking mimic of the hunted under the whirring of the little droid are almost a comfort.

The galaxy is saved from a madman’s nightmare visions by his own, custom-tailored nightmares in between a lot of impressive lightsaber acrobatics and surprisingly few dismemberments, considering.

“Huh,” Fox says next to him and takes a sip from his “Second Best Commander in the GAR” mug that Cody had helpfully corrected and improved.

“There were,” Obi-Wan pauses, visibly ruminating on his next words, “a surprising amount of tookas involved in the dreams. And those little… do you recall those little fluffy critters we encountered on Therenx VI?”

“Huh,” Cody echoes. He does remember the small bear-like animals. Mainly because they tended to shoot lightning out of their fuzzy little bellies unprovoked. Perma-banning them from the Negotiator after singed eyebrows and electrocuted equipment had involved a lot of tears and attempts at mutiny secretly sponsored by Cody’s General.

“So,” Fox drawls out, “that’s it?”

General Windu frowns. “With the reveal, there are certainly more issues to be resolved. But for the moment? Yes, it seems so.”

“‘Kay. I’m going on vacation. Toodles.” And with that Cody watches Fox go away with a careless gesture.

Cody waves after him before he realizes what he’s doing. He shakes his head and turns back. “You okay?”

The pulsing, thick smoke is slowly absorbed back into the heavy cloak. Obi-Wan is flickering once in a while, the sclera of his eyes a black hole for the stars in his pupils. He drags a hand through his hair but the stubborn strands just fall back across his forehead. “That was quite the outing,” he says cheerfully. “Never did like Taungsdays very much.”

Cody raises his eyebrows, still waiting for an answer. He doesn’t do anything to suppress or hide the smile tugging insistently on his lips.

“Frankly, I could do with a cup,” Obi-Wan admits and cracks his back with a satisfied groan that does it for Cody very much. “I do feel a bit matte.” He tilts his head back a bit, strange, beautiful eyes seeming to stare into the galaxy’s matter itself. The black tongue laps at his lips, quick and away. “And very full. The Chancellor’s dreams provided indeed.”

The sing-song voice is back and Cody shivers despite himself. It’s…unnerving. The one thing that makes the hair rise on Cody’s arms. That tells his hindbrain that there’s nowhere he can hide, nowhere he can crawl into, nowhere to turn to, because what is looking for him can find him in ways beyond his control.

Obi-Wan shakes his head, black bleeding out of his eyes, and leans forward on his knees with another long groan. “I want a nap.”

General Windu shakes his head with a fond look, and leads him away from the body with a steady hand sinking into a smoky shoulder. “Master Mundi is bringing some trusted Senators here.”

“Very well,” Obi-Wan nods and looks at Cody. “Commander,” he starts and Cody straightens instinctively as he receives the last orders from his General.

.

“Force, this is exactly what I needed,” Cody hears around the entry to the small kitchen. He takes his mug back to the living quarters and drowns in the sofa cushions next to Obi-Wan.

Nightmare sludge is happily sopping into the bowl placed under black clawed hands.

“Feel better?” Cody asks, sipping from freshly brewed caf made from real beans. The luxury feels endless. Smoke gently curls in between his fingers, dancing and playing around when he wiggles his hand.

With a mischievous smile Obi-Wan turns his head to him, burrows into his side. “Hmhm, that shower was rejuvenating.”

Cody has to agree. Feeling the grime and battle and literal nightmares washing off his skin, Obi-Wan’s skin, under hot water and hotter breath, the calming smell of the soap steaming against the tiles - it feels like a happy ending like in the holo movies.

“How are you?” Obi-Wan asks, shaking nightmares off one hand into the bowl.

“You know,” Cody tips his head against ginger hair and closes his eyes, “I feel really good.”

for @deathdovesong

[calzone-d]

Unplanned Sleepovers

pairing: mom!reader x Henry Lasso & Ted Lasso x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

warnings: crying 

summary: Henry finds you crying and insists on spending the night with you, while also finding a new nickname for you. Ted comes home and joins the action. 

a/n: hi guys, I wrote this really quick after work so it is def not proofread. can you guys tell im a crier?? also I LOVE DAD!TED. DAD!TED SUPERIOIRTY

------------------------

It had been a long week. Work was stressful, the time had changed so it was colder and darker earlier, and the holidays were coming up. This was a stressful time of year for you, and more often than not you found yourself feeling “down”. Your life was great; you had a stable job that fulfilled you, a wonderful fiance, a great step-son that you had a very close relationship with. Still, some days you found that it took everything in you to get out of bed. When you were on your own, that didn’t really affect anyone but you. When you lived with Ted, he was gentle, kind, and so understanding. But now, Henry had moved in with the two of you, and you didn’t want him to think any less of you for any reason at all.

Ted was gone at an away match, they ended up having to stay two extra nights due to snow and icy roads. You thoroughly embraced this quality time with Henry. After you picked him up from school, you two went by the shops to get groceries for the next few things, and the young Lasso boy was extremely enthusiastic to help you cook dinner. 

With Christmas music playing softly in the background, you and Henry cooked together while he told you all about his week at school. The two of you shared many laughs, but after a few slower, more melancholic Christmas songs you felt that familiar feeling again. Like something was sitting on your chest. You thought you’d done a decent job playing it off. It was Henry’s night to pick the movie, so the two of you ate on the couch while laughing over his choice. Ted typically insisted on eating at the table together, so the nights the two of you shared dinner on the couch held a special place in Henry’s heart.

You’d successfully tucked Henry in and gotten yourself ready for bed. Ted and the team had walked to a nearby pub for a night out, so you hadn’t heard much from him. Although, you trusted the team to keep him safe, and knew that if something went sideways you’d be a;erted by Rebecca, Keely, or any one of the numerous friends you’d made of Ted’s coworkers. Typically when you felt this way, you would open up to Ted about your feelings. Not only was he your partner, he was your best friend, and more often than not he was there when you felt like this. 

After crawling in bed and sending Ted a quick goodnight text, you turned on your favorite sitcom. Usually you’d be laughing yourself to tears over this show, but tonight you found yourself staring off into space, unable to concentrate. Your mind was running with unrealistic thoughts. 

Will Henry be happy with his Christmas with you and Ted?

If he isn’t, will he want to move home?

Would he wish Ted found someone else?

Is Ted happy with your Christmas as a new family?

Would he leave you if this Christmas wasn’t everything he was hoping for?

Your spiraling thoughts quickly brought tears to your eyes, and your heart clenched as a soft sob left your mouth. All you’d wanted was a family, and that was what you’d found with Ted and Henry. They were your boys, and the thought of a holiday season after this one without them broke your heart. No matter how fast you wiped your tears, they wouldn’t stop coming. A part of you felt silly, but you knew sometimes it was best to cry it out. 

Before you crying had ceased, the handle to you and Ted’s bedroom turned, and the door slowly crept open to reveal Henry in his pajamas, eyes wide, and brow furrowed. He looked exactly like his father, something you loved beyond words. 

“Mama Y/N? What’s wrong?”, the nickname made you smile softly. Embarrassed, you quickly wiped your tears away and willed them to finally stop. 

“I’m okay, Henry Bug.”

“But you’re crying”, He came to stand on the side of the bed beside where you were sitting, and immediately crawled up beside you without a second thought. 

Deciding the best route was honesty, you responded, “Yeah, I was, buddy.”

“Did something happen? Are you okay?”, again, Ted’s mini-me. Always worried about your safety and well-being.

“No no, Hen. Just a long day, that’s all. Feelin’ a little extra tired tonight.”, you did your best to muster up a smile, but you could tell the boy wasn’t completely sold. 

“Hmm”, he pondered your answer for a moment. “I feel like that too sometimes, especially if I don’t sleep good the night before”.

You knew the feelings he was talking about were different, but you knew it wasn’t the time, place, or situation to try and explain your adult feelings to him.

“Yeah, Hen. Maybe we can both get some good sleep tonight, yeah? I think your dad should be home in the morning.”, he nodded and smiled wide at the mention of the mustached-man you both loved.

“Maybe we can all make some waffles tomorrow for lunch? Have a lil’ brunch situation?”

Henry nodded even faster at this suggestion, and his cuteness made you smile. By now, you had stopped crying. Although you hadn’t truly explained your adult feelings to Henry, you felt comforted by his presence and were so happy to have him there. 

“Can I stay in here tonight, Y/N? Your bed is soooo comfy”, Henry let out the cutest giggle. 

You smiled widely at his question and let out a fake sigh, “Fine, I guess I can make room for my Henry Bug.”

Your sarcasm made him laugh and as you held up the duvet for him, he settled in on Ted’s side of the bed. As you lied down on your back, he snuggled into your side, and you wrapped a protective arm around him. You had begun to close your eyes and were on the verge of sleep when Henry whispered, “Can we watch Shrek please?”

His request made you laugh and he mirrored your laughter before questioning, “What?” through a fit of giggles. 

“Nothing, Hen. Just happy you’re here. I love you, buddy.”

“I love you too, Y/N. You’re basically like my mom now. Can I just call you mom?”, the recent disputes with Michelle made you wonder if this was coming. Although nothing could’ve prepared you for the love you’d feel in the moment. With tear-filled eyes you chuckled, “Absolutely, Henry. I’d love that.”. You squeezed him close in a warm hug while putting “Shrek” on the TV.

Henry settled back into your side and the two of you slowly drifted off. Before you completely fell asleep you pressed a soft kiss to the top of Henry’s head and whispered, “Sleep good, sweetheart. I love you.”

And tears pricked your eyes again when he whispered, “Love you too, mom. G’night.”

—---------------------

Ted’s heart constricted at the sight as he walked in the next morning. You were asleep on your side, hair a mess and lips slightly parted with your arm stretched out to his side. Henry had stayed by your side all night, and had tucked himself into the bend of your arm. 

His face mirrored yours as the two of you finally caught up on some sleep. There was enough room for him to crawl in beside Henry, so after slipping off his jacket and shoes, he did. The movement woke you up, “Ted?”

“Shhh, go back to sleep, darlin’. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

You closed your eyes again, fully intent on falling back asleep, “S’okay”

Henry stirred at the noise and snuggled closer to you. Unbeknownst to the two of you, Ted’s eyes were filled with all the love in the world as he watched his two favorite people sleep. He draped a strong arm over Henry, and rested his hand against you as he joined the two of you in sleep. With the two of you in bed, he felt the most in love as he’d ever had before.

And later, while you three made waffles, he couldn’t even find words as Henry asked, “Can you hand me a paper towel, Mom? I spilled some”. He couldn’t even join you two in laughter as Henry looked at you with a sheepish smile and sent you both in a fit of laughter. All he could manage was a warm, loving, teary smile while he watched his two favorite people make breakfast together.

Thanks for reading!

[smallgodseries]

[image description: In an obvious bid for attention, an extravagantly-attired woman stands with her arms up. The black wrap attached by straps to each arm for a crescent behind her. Her headdress is many times the size of her head and contains much more material than her strappy black top. A red curtain of tall diamonds hangs behind her – completing the Erte-inspired Art Deco scene. While behind and around her, a dozen App icons forms a circle – almost as though they are numbers on a clock. Text reads, “190, MISS SARKISIAN, SMALL GOD OF ‘PLEASE SHARE’”]

• • • • •

If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it really make a sound?  The world may never know.  Not only does the act of putting a microphone close enough to pick up the sound of the tree falling inherently change the situation such that there IS someone there to hear the tree go down, but no forest is empty.  Humans, with their human-first way of looking at the world, may look at a forest and see solitude and emptiness, but for the deer, squirrels, snakes, toads, and millions of bugs who live there full time, there are no such things.  So the question, always intended as a philosophical exercise, is truly unanswerable, and can be asked over and over again, until humanity goes extinct and is replaced by something with a little bit more situational awareness.

If an influencer posts a picture on their social media and no one likes it, do they really exist?  This question is, perhaps, a bit more circumstantial, and the answer seems to be both yes and no.  Yes, they exist: how else could they have posted the picture in the first place?  Their existence is the one part of the equation that can’t be questioned.  But sometimes, when no one sees them, when no one acknowledges them, it can feel like even that’s negotiable.  They tweet, therefor they are.

But she always sees them.  She always knows they’re there.

The heart of attention seeking behavior is a genuine need for attention.  Every young thing needs it in order to thrive, and when that need isn’t met, it can continue into the rest of a lifetime, a constant, aching desire to be acknowledged as a real part of the world, alive and thriving and true.  Miss Sarkisian understands that need.  She wants to amplify the world, until everyone’s need for attention is met, and they can learn to need the silence just as loudly.

She spreads selfies and social justice, screeds and silly memes, and all she wants is for you to share, and to be seen.  The world would be a better place in her eyes if everyone could be truly, finally seen.

She sees you.

Always.

[forestlingincorporated]

Tim Drake's Relationship To Wealth In New Earth

I’ve talked about the Drake’s wealth before, based on this slightly out of place scene in A Lonely Place of Dying where Tim zeros in on an Erte statue of Bruce’s, mentioning his father purchased a litho the year before. 

To summarize, this scene is establishing the wealth gap between the rich Drake family and the rich Wayne family. Tim is impressed with Bruce’s Erte statue, which suggests the Drakes can’t really reasonably afford one. While there are Erte lithographs more expensive than some Erte statues, I’ve only seen statues price down to about $1800, while I’ve seen lithos price in the hundreds. 

Basically, this implies the Drakes don’t have enough money to spend willynilly while also maintaining their prefered lifestyle. Based on other comic panels scattered around, I’d say the Drakes’ money primarily goes to real estate, travel, boarding schools, and staff. (We only see Mrs. Mac as far as I’m aware, unless you count their work assistant, but the Drakes will sometimes reference former staff, like an old driver mentioned in Robin #116.) 

Strictly speaking, Tim is only refered to as “new money” once, which interestingly occurs after the Drakes drop an economic bracket. [Robin #100] 

However, Jack specifically gives off the impression he’s probably new money. He prides himself on being a red blooded american man (read: “normal,” down to earth) and he’s blatantly incapable of playing politics. He’s not good at maintaining an image for reputation and status, and he doesn’t respect people that do. 

He’s also shows little interest in networking, allowing his insecurities to get in the way of what would appear to be a rather beneficial opportunity for his son and his business - developing and maintaining friendships with people like Bruce Wayne opens doors. 

Jack seems to view himself as seperate from what he sees as the uppity elite, but also sees himself as deserving of respect and status stemming from his wealth without the desire to actively cultivate it, all the while harboring some deep insecurities around the topic. This doesn’t garantee he was new money, but it does imply he doesn’t really fit in with the ins and outs of wealthy society the way someone like Bruce does. 

To be old money, Jack would have to have come from wealth, and we’re just not given that impression. We know very little about Tim’s ancestry, except that Jack’s father, Charles, was a teenaged soldier in World War II, but in general, other characters don’t react to the Drake name the way they react to the Wayne or Luthor or Queen names. Hell, Dinah Lance’s mother’s maiden name was Drake. 

We don’t really have anything to go off of if Janet was or wasn’t wealthy prior to her marriage to Jack, and if so, how much. 

When Jack’s bad investments cause the Drakes to “go broke” - as Jack refers to it - Tim describes their situation as going from “upper-upper-class” to “upper-middle” class, living off of the proceeds of the sales of their assets and Dana’s middle class job. Tim isn’t too bothered by this, having worked in war zones and areas of abject poverty, and doesn’t think very charitably about his dad acting like they’re starving. Neither does Dana for that matter, who understands they still have a very good life and is bearing the brunt of the work supporting their family and liquidating Jack’s assets. 

This is where Tim’s relationship to money gets interesting to me. Tim’s very comfortable with his living situation, but he becomes very AWARE of how expensive crime fighting is. He has an itemized list of how much EVERYTHING batman related costs. 

With Bruce out of the picture for an unknown length of time, Tim has a lot of financial anxiety. Steph, who grew up middle class (at least she is now, her mom being a nurse, living in a two story house - unclear on their financial situation when she was a small child), has much more of a “it’ll work itself out” attitude, while Tim can’t stop thinking about the logistics. 

This is honestly a very stark contrast to the fandom idea that Tim is of the “how much can a banana cost? $10?” persuation. 

Once Bruce is back and the monatary situation with Robin is solved, Tim is content to live an upper middle class life style. 

After Jack dies, however, Tim’s money situation becomes... fuzzy. 

Tim ends up reliant on Bruce’s money. They don’t really get into it, but as a child with no living relatives and Dana in a clinic, Tim SHOULD be in the foster system right now, without access to his inheritance. He’s comfortable making promises in Bruce’s name, but Tim’s reasons for not wanting Bruce to adopt him in the upcoming arc are... quesionable. They don’t really say WHY Tim doesn’t want Bruce to adopt him, nor do they explain HOW Tim pays for his hired fake uncle. Did he actively steal Bruce’s money, or was the deal access to Tim’s inheritance? Was this whole thing a ploy for Tim to gain access to his own inheritance and not rely on Bruce for everything? 

They don’t... talk about it. 

They especially don’t talk about it AFTER Bruce adopts Tim. He seems to foster him for a bit after “Uncle Eddie” bites it, Tim is living on the manor grounds, but his legal and financial status isn’t really brought up. Then Bruce adopts him, but money just kind of becomes a nonissue, we all just kinda assume Tim has access to Bruce’s money and call it a day. 

But I do think, when talking about Tim’s relationship to money, skipping over Tim’s temporary downward financial mobility over simplifies him. Tim is aware of the cost of things and the transience of wealth and status. There’s additional things we can speculate on, like if a young Tim had access to his parents’ money while they’re abroad, and what it would mean if he didn’t - my brain goes back to that anxiety about “re-supplying.” I can picture an 11-year-old Tim in worn out shoes counting down the days his parents pick him up from boarding school so he can ask to buy new ones - you know, things you need to shop for in person, rather than have something shipped to the school - but feeling like he can’t really complain because, well, his parents CAN afford to buy him nice things, he just has to wait. 

I think that’s just overall more interesting and unique to Tim, rather than the default Rich Kids Don’t Understand Money trope. 

[nolonelyroads]

ERT Site, UT. A generally well-known site that bears the scars of modern relic-hunters. When people ask “Why?”, the first answer is almost always going to be “money”. There is a lucrative black market for indigenous artifacts, and rock art doesn’t get a pass just because it’s pecked into a stone wall. If someone wants it, they will try to take it. This site is a stark reminder of the threat that continues to endanger these sacred places. People take arrowheads, pottery pieces, bits of twine, a corn cob, a shell with a hole bored through it, a bone... Eventually there will be nothing left to take, and these sites will be dusty vestiges of what they once were. All traces of the lives that once thrived here will be gone. So i spend whatever free time I have searching these places out and documenting them. I take photographs. I try to keep a record of as much as I can. I’m not exactly sure why. I don’t know my true purpose yet. But I know that there is a voice inside me telling me to keep doing this. I’m listening to that voice.

[dropout-if]

💓 BEATING HEART, 💘 HEART W/ ARROW [s0rry if aII my asks are ann0ying erte]

They're not annoying I love answering you dw🫂🫂💕 ask as much as you want

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Jade/Jean- a challenge, whether it's a passionate argument, a heated debate, or the opportunity to prove themselves. They appreciate when someone stands up to them intellectually and emotionally. J's brain also turns to mush when their partner very casually touches them.

Uma- beauty in all its forms. A breathtaking piece of art, a serene natural landscape, or even a heartfelt, emotionally charged moment can set their heart racing. A partner asking to be tattooed by them.

Statler- making a positive impact on someone's life. Acts of kindness, helping someone in need, or being part of a cause they believe in all energize Statler emotionally. Consequently, Statler also loves being taken care of.

Wanda- trying new things, taking risks, and living life to the fullest. Fun outings, bold gestures of affection, and moments of spontaneity are sure to ignite her passion. The one thing that flusters Wanda, though, is the domestic aspects of a relationship.

Kai- appreciates wit and cleverness. Kai is very used to being wanted and lusted over— they appreciate much more when someone lusts after their mind. Kai loves being loved for who they are and their opinions.

Travis- a sense of accomplishment and mastery. Achieving goals, pursuing their passions, and proving himself intellectually are key drivers for him. Also seeing their s/o around animals, or seeing that they're good around animals.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

Jade/Jean- values ambition, determination, and shared goals. They appreciate someone who can keep up with their drive and competitiveness. It's also very important for J to feel like they're needed in any way. J is skeptical of love at first sight. They prefer to get to know someone well before committing to a serious relationship.

Uma- seeks deep emotional connections and values creativity, spontaneity, and shared passions. They appreciate a partner who is empathetic and understanding, and who respects their need for space while being just a call away. Uma is more inclined to believe in love at first sight

Statler- values empathy, compassion, and emotional support in a partner. They want someone who shares their values and can engage in meaningful conversations. Statler really values their future plans, they involve their partner and expect their partner to reciprocate. Statler believes in the potential for strong connections at first sight.

Wanda- values excitement, adventure, and passion. She appreciates someone who can bring spontaneity and fun into her life, while also being understanding of her life and kind towards her daughter. Wanda is open to the idea of love at first sight, as she is impulsive and often follows her heart.

Kai- looks for independence, and shared interests in a partner. They value someone with whom they can banter and have fun with, all while telling everything straight to their faces. Kai likes people who don't beat around the bush. They hate the idea of love at first sight.

Travis- values intelligence, competence, and independence. He wants someone who he feels connected to but who gives him plenty of space. Travis values authentic ideas and meaningful conversation. He doesn't believe in love at first sight, and thinks it's wistful thinking.

[erictrochu]

(ERT aka Eric TROCHU) 1575ème composition at Home "Live" ou presque, impromptue on Drums Thumb Jam Dyslexique, Accordeon vintage, strings, basse improvisés on iPad, record & Mix on Live 11, mastering on Wavelab12, par beau temps et bonne humeur ! :)

[hopepunk-humanity]

I've been wanting to start something similar to hopepunk, but I don't know if it's been coined vet?

Would you be able to let me know if you've seen anything related to “kindpunk”?

I wanna make it so that it is similar to hopepunk, in which it’s not about blindly believing kindness will solve the worlds problems but that choosing to be kind can make many lives and possibly the world a better place.

There will be more to it as well and I intend on writing a manifesto as well but I need to see if it’s been coined first, and I was hoping you might be able to let me know if you’ve seen anything

- signed anon e.r.t (he/him, also can be known by the following emotes: 🧸💌🍓 in place of a name—ert is fine as well though)

I have not seen this before, but I do think it’s consistent with what hopepunk already encompasses. Regardless, the world could always use a little more of this energy.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023 PRESHOW - part 1: the BAD entries

Okay, so here we go.

37 Countries, and sadly not as much time as I would like to cover all of them. 

Thus, 37  rambly write ups in which i loquaciously air my gripes and grievances about the upcoming famewhores / artists competing at the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest. 

There will be no holds barred and no prisoners taken. This year is trashy, some of it shit, but a lot of it is more fun than last year’s Rulll Musique!! 🙂

In this post we’ll deal with the BAD ENTRIES so we get them out of the way and you know who to hold in contempt for the next two months. 

Without further ado, in last place we have:

37. GREECE Victor Vernicos - “What they say” Semifinal 2, slot #08

There’s quite a bit of subparness in this mix, but nothing is quite as tragic as this miscarriage of a song.  It’s already bad enough that you have to rig an internal selection. It’s embarrassing to rig it for this absolute garbage. Was the scandi money worth the price of your top 10 streak, ERT? Was it really?!

Okay, so first and foremost “What they say” has some of the worst chord progression at this contest. Overproduced, obnoxious, cloying and abrasive, all at the same time. Its general cadence is that of an American driving in shift-stick gear. Why does it constantly interrupt itself? Is this supposed to create dramatic pauses where we can figure out what words he’s supposed to have said? 

Secondly, the fucking CURSED singing. I don’t care how good of a vocal talent you are, but if you twist your words like marble-mouthed goober into intelligibility such as “assholes make joy no one loses their whey” you’ve fucked up. WHY do the indie zoomer cunts insist on engaging in this tomfoolery? Do they think it gives them a personality and makes them relevant? 

Thirdly, 

“Cuz u no wud dey seh?

” THEY SAY, *WHAT*?!

The message. The older I get, the fewer fucks I am willing to spare yet another mewling milktoother whining about “how fucked up the world is, it’s too late for me”. Yet, here we are, “a lost soul” (sorry, “asshole”) and “hurt one” (sorry, “huyt wun”) who solemny declares for nobody but himself his precious little feelings are hurt and thus his life is over.

:inhales:

YOU ARE SIXTEEN!!!  😤😤😤😤

HOW CAN YOU SAY YOUR LIFE IS OVER, YOU’RE FUCKING SIXTEEN!!!!

this is like when Sebastian Rejman and Elliot Vassamillet implied that they would ACTUALLY HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS about how bad a place the world is, when in reality they’re so fucking white upper middle class their privilege ALONE enabled them to bore us with soapbox preaching. Even if we don’t assume this isn’t some self-aggrandising hyperbole  -  having a cause to live and die for is great mate, but if you’re really going down that rabbit hole of “it being too late” at that point in your life, take a step back, get some professional counselling and don’t go to Eurovision, where you get shredded apart by fat frumpy arseholes like me!

Odds at Eurovision - Greece

I’m inclined to say this gets through, because it IS Greece and good lord Denmark is also voting for this, aren’t they? Like unironically even WITHOUT taking the fact that he’s half a Dane (X___X) into account.

And yet... I will point out that when Argo and Yianna NQ’d, Greece were performing in the same semifinal as Cyprus. 🙂

Besides, “What they say” is so ROTTED that I could absolutely see it receive votes from just Cyprus and Denmark and then nothing from any other country, dooming it to NQ purgaory. I would feel more confident if (1) we knew how Victor’s live performance skills are (given that he has no experience, i’m willing to guess they’re not very good) (2) Cyprus were actually much, much better than Greece, so they could deliver the killing blow by hoovering up the Hellene vote. Sadly, Cyprus picked Andrew Lambrou. (more on *that* soon.) if Victor does go through, I think he’s a serious contender for last place in the finale. 🙂 

Qualifier Tier: C Predicted placement: 8-14th (semi), 20-26th (Grand Final)

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36. ISRAEL Noa Kirel - “Unicorn” Semi 1, slot #10

Remember when Starbucks pioneered Unicorn Lattes, which were the saccharine multicolour abominations the zoomers pretended to like because they were in vogue? That’s  the first thing I think about whenever Noa Kirel springs to mind. 🙂

The Fandom’s tastes have reached a new low if ANY woman with ANY even remotely uptempo song can be deemed “a slay” because of her gender, privilege and money. Like seriously. Europe selects a few straight male acts (none of which are honestly *bad*) in a row and the fan bubble IMMEDIATELY -out of what I assume has to be a combination of Stockholm Syndrome and latent misandry- imprint onto the first woman they see and crown her a queen without second thoughts. 

Like yeah, sure Unicorn is phenomen-phemonen phenominally bad. Like on several levels? Unicorn is actually not offensive because it’s pandering and annoying (although it is very much is both of those things), but because it’s so fucking BORING and it has no excuse to be that way. 

Unicorn is a wash of different styles, none of which go together btw, all of which  tap into the lowest and commonest of denominators. Its scuffed parts are equally far away from “slay”. The worst offender is the dance break at the end that does NOT suit the rest of the song, drawn inspiration from Efendi’s MATA HARI (honestly how doesn’t Israel just crawl under a rock in SHAME after doing that). 

BUT THE POWER OF A YOO-KNEE-CAWN!!! whatever the fuck that means. 

What also gets to me is that, despite the superficial shittiness of the catchphrases and buzzwords and fucking STUPID hand gestures, Israel also seem to not only expect the fandom to support them, but act like they’re entitled to it. 

What you are entitled to Israel, is a big fat:

If there’s one act this year that has ZERO rights to be arrogant, it’s this one.

ODDS AT EUROVISION - ISRAEL

I’m going to be very brief here: this is bottom five in the grand final. We all know, deep down that Unicorn will fail to impress and everyone will simultaneously come to the conclusion that it’s really fucking shit, and it’ll strand itself in an obsequious 23rd place. End of story. Not wasting any more time on that.

It will qualify though. In a semi with more songs, and also more competitive songs in general, it would struggle to stand out and be on the cusp of qualification. This year though... Israel only need to beat five others, and three of those include Ireland, Azerbaijan and Netherlands, so... it’s through. Someone else will be that semi’s shock NQ.

Qualifier tier: B- Predicted Placement: 8th-10th (semi), 21st-25th (Grand Final)

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35. CROATIA Let 3 - “Mama ŠČ!” Semifinal 1, slot #07

Imagine being subjected to that and having zero reaction to that whatsoever. If you can imagine that, welcome to my world! 😑

Yeah so, I can sort of respect the logic behind choosing Let 3 - Dora reached an all-time low with no real options (Harmonia Dissonance fully lived up to their name 😔) and Let 3 are a well-known and very well-established Shock Value Novelty Band, so might as well go for it!

The problem is that they’re fucking shit! 🙂

Like, “Mama ŠČ!” is the sort of nihilistic novelty nonsense i’d expect a Montenegro or San Marino to go for and, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed over the years, but I generally don’t care about the tomfoolery those countries send? I’d rather have something vapid that is pleasant to listen to, than something humourous but barely listenable. 

Also, the humour. I understand some people find Let 3 funny. I don’t. At all. I think the problem is largely that “Mama ŠČ!” tries to go for Shock Value, but I find none of it particularly shocking? Dressing up a pasty white man as Lenin throwing missiles while yelling CROCODILE PSYCHOPATH isn’t particularly witty and -given the *actual missile throwing* going on in ukraine right now- kinda poor in taste? 

I dunno. As you can tell, I respect Croatia MORE than Israel and Greece, because their entry isn’t just a safe attempt at qualification that will cruise to a bottom ten finish. It actually has a clear concept and identity! Sadly that doesn’t take away that it’s actually just kinda crap really. 😐

ODDS AT EUROVISION - CROATIA

This is the first of many entries in this year with an absurdly wide range in terms of where it can finish at the scoreboard.

So first off, there IS a chance the humor just doesn’t land and it NQ’s anyway. Given that the field in the first semi is what it is, I’m tempted to say that, like Israel, Croatia are through by default and perhaps more securely. 

However unlike Israel, I could see this getting a good chunk of televotes, and I’m not sure whether I like this? Let 3 unironically remind me of two other godawful novelty entries (So Lucky and We Are The Winners) and I despise the idea of Croatia getting similar traction in a televote. This year generally has a lot of fun trash on offer, and it can do much better than this. 

Still, I do think there’s a certain *appeal* for this, in the same sense there was a market for Ikke fucking Hüftgold. It could be a shock top 10! it could also just be ignored by everyone for being shit and annoying and get last in the finale. 🤷‍♀️

Qualifier tier: B Projected placement: 5th-12th (Semi), 13th-20th (Grand Final)

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34. SWITZERLAND Remo Forrer - “Watergun” Semi 1, slot #08

I present to you: exhibit #1 to why i’m pleased juries are banned from the semi’s. 🙂 and of course the proof comes courtesy of Shitzerland. 

So let’s get the USP out of the way first: Remo is a twink with a baritone’s voice aren’t you AMAZED?! Not really? Like he’s got a good voice but that’s not what I watch Eurovision for. I don’t admire people just because they’re competent at the things they’re supposed to be good at in the first place. (Well I don’t admire other people in general, period.) Sadly, Remo’s vocal chops are the only positive thing about “Watergun”!

To be fair I’m -at this stage at least- more bored than i’m annoyed, but the more I think about it, the more i realize that ‘Watergun” is rancid and deserves to be placed amongst the other bad entries. It really just is an uninspired, empty, bland-as-béchamel Voice Lauriate’s First Power Ballad Single, and honestly does anyone care about these? Nobody had a care when Will Church and Atle Pettersen sang their boring songs in a competent, powerful voice, and likewise nobody cares about Remo :-)

You will also notice that I’m not even addressing the, ah, very interesting choice of going with those lyrics and that message, at this point in time. I’m not going to indulge in that... yet. Such is the price of being EVIL on purpose. 🙂

Odds at Eurovision - SWITZERLAND

 I REALLY want to believe  in twink death, but good grief, look at semi 1. There are only five NQs, and more than five unvotable songs in it.

Rationally, Switzerland are less secure than most because -again- the televote did NOT turn up for Will Church or Atle Pettersen, but i’m not feeling as confident as I’d like. There are other countries in that semi which are equally hopeless or potentially even more of a televote repellent, so I guess by *default* Shitz could sneak in in like... 9th-10th? 

As far as who would pick up their phone and vote for this, I honestly don’t have a clue. Cat ladies? Old Farts? Guillible fools? Idk. Certainly nobody with a will to live their best life.  Like Victor, Remo is also an unironic contender for a bottom placement in the finale. Unlike Greece though, the path Remo will follow towards the bottom will involve him receiving several smaller jury votes, with another 0 from the televote as the coup de grâce. 

Qualifier tier: C Projected Placement: 9th-14th (Semi), 19th-26th (Grand Final)

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NEXT UP: The mediocrities that I sorta pity and hold in contempt, but don’t have a particular dislike for.  🙂

[shegetsburned]

thank you so much for you guys’ feedback on my oc Braise. Loved the comments! Here’s her biography. Always feel free to ask me questions about her, there’s nothing I’d love more than to answer them.

Braise’s biography~

"You’re either on my side or in my way."

BACKGROUND

Operator Luna "Braise" Ursi is born in France where she lived for three years before immigrating to Quebec, Canada. There, she developed skills in French and English due to her location which benefited her throughout her social and professional life. She comes form a hardworking family and she knew quite young what she wanted to do; sacrificing herself to help those in need. At 16 she enlisted in the Canadian armed forces (CAF) as an armored officer. That will mark the beginning of her multiples changes.

Later, Luna did one year in the Royal military college before realizing it may not be the right fit for her, she soon changed to the federal police of Canada (RCMP), succeeding in every part of the job including weapons’ training and rapid response situations. She did four years before being able to supervise the newcomers and then got approached by the emergency response team (ERT). There, she served one year. One year where she got deployed all over Canada helping citizens and participating in high danger classified operations. During a joint operation with the JTF2, she met agent Sebastien "Buck" Côté who later introduced her to Rainbow.

PSYCHOLOGICAL REPORT

When I first read Luna’s dossier I thought Côté wasn’t thinking straight. She had way too much expectations on what she could achieve and about the person she would become, but maybe that’s what made her such a good fit for team Rainbow. She would not back down. She was reckless, tireless, rigorous and independent. These qualities interested me, and were a mix I had wished to see on the battlefield for a long time now.

At first, I started to learn about her personal life. She lived with a quite modern family. There didn’t seem to be any problems at first but, as I dug deeper, I realized Ursi had suffered this oldest sibling syndrome. She felt a lot of pressure on her shoulders but managed to control it before she find an opportunity to work on it with the federal police. My several psychological interviews with agent Braise confirmed her immense feeling of pressure when it came to success. A mix of immense guilt and pressure of doing what is right. She had failed to achieve her goals in the army which pushed her into not doing any mistakes again that could make her feel so miserable. Failure is her biggest enemy.

Luna would seem harsh at first but she is liked in the unit by others and seems to have small issues with few of our agents. After some time she quickly grew found of our French and Canadian agents where she seemed to find her place with most of them. Of course, her strong sense of hate towards injustice made her more friendly with Aria "Alibi" De Luca which she described, as my biggest surprise, like a sort of canalisation for her anger. I’m also looking forward to seeing her work with agents Mark "Mute" Chandar as her defensive partner and Jordan "Thermite" Trace during her mentoring time with the agency. They are two strong headed men, who I hope will vandalize their anger and frustration into Luna’s strategic and open mind.

— Dr. Harishva "Harry" Pandey, Director of Rainbow

@poisonedtruth would love to help you with an icon! Feel free to ask.

tags: @scentedcandleibex @voidika @kryptonian-puppy @unbindingkerberos @unpetitoiseau

[mega-aulover]

better than reality t.v.

Can you imagine Katniss salivating over the bread in the oven, while pregnant? this is for @jhsgf82 happy belated birthday

The house was quiet. Well not that it was quiet Peeta had the TV on. He was watching one of the situational reality television programs Plutarch was now producing. The Capitol Housewives.

It was a show that followed the lives of the rich women who lived in the Capitol. It was a runaway hit. So much so that they franchised to District One. Peeta was fascinated with the women.

They were all so filthy rich and yet they fought over plebian things. One of the main characters was getting a divorce and she had come across her soon-to-be ex-husband's girlfriend at a party. There was a beautiful bowl of salad tossed across the room as well as champange.

"Barbarians," Haymitch grumbled. "All of that perfectly good liquor."

One of the women grabbed a three-tiered cake and tossed it at another.

"What a waste of cake," Haymitch grumbled.

"Right, Katniss," Peeta said. When Katniss didn't speak up he frowned. "Katniss?" He called looking around the office they converted into a den.

Katniss wasn't with them.

"Where did she go?" Peeta questioned as he got up. He walked from the den to the bathroom. He knocked on the door and it opened to show that it was empty.

Peeta wondered where his wife had gone off to. She loved watching the show just as much as he did. He sauntered down the small hallway to the dining room. From there he walked into the kitchen.

Katniss stood in with her hands on her swollen stomach, her attention on the oven. She licked her lips.

"Katniss?"

"Huh," Katniss said not taking her attention away from the oven.

Peeta came closer, "Are you watching the bread bake?"

"Hmmmm," Katniss said.

"Katniss?"

The cincern in his voice must have erted her, because she finally tore her eyes away from the oven. "What, I'm hungry. How can you not smell the bread."

Peeta raised an eyebrow walking to stand behind her. He'd purchased an industrial oven and put it in their kitchen when they had first moved in together. The baked goods cooked quicker.

Katniss turned her gaze back at the oven. Her hands tapped in hwr belly impatiently. "This is my reality TV. I'm just picturing what this hot bread will taste like with melting butter..."

Peeta had heard of pregnant women becoming fixated or craving things. He never would have guessed bread had become her thing while pregnant with their first child. Peeta couldn’t help but stare at the woman he loved. She had her hair piled up in a messy bun, and she wore one of his t-shirts and leggings, and socks. She looked amazing.

"Isn't it the sexiest thing you've ever seen?" Katniss said.

"Yeah," Peeta agreed. Not with the bread, but of his wife. She really was the sexiest thing he had really seen, better than reality TV.

[goddessactuality]

sometimes I still can't believe I met mac0to takahashi I think he's like possibly the only living artist who I think is like psychedelically beyond time and space perfect........... I would also put erte in this category like I think if he wasn't ever born his art was so perfect that it would have been born out of some other artist's hand somehow like he just channeled it from the ether or something. I would like put erte and mac0to as higher than like leyendecker because their style is more minimalistic and on like a more abstracted level compared to leyendecker whose art is also amazing but less perfect in its sort of sketchiness. Does that make sense like I feel like there's a hierarchy of purity that no one wants to recognize and most art historians or collectors or whatever think some fucking irreproducable rothko or like bacon work is more valuable or precious than the precision and perfection of mac0to or erte but it's just not and the reproducability of their forms actually sends them through the ether as like.... something more universally beautiful. Like when they send aliens messages into space and it's just like mathematical text representations of the solar system or the speed of light or whatever. Erte and mac0to make artwork that aliens can find beautiful and exists on the like platonic realm of perfect shapes or whatever more closely than whatever sketchy bullshit leonardo da vinci scraped on a parchment. Then again nature always wins and in brutal grating ways so whatever