#Especially not ten or tentoo

[formulapookiie]

Oh babygirl what have they done to you, why does your suit look like a fucking pijama?

[quite-right-too]

Ask Box Request

Please send me some questions regarding Ten, Tentoo, Rose, Ten/Rose, and TentooRose.

This could be AUs, headcanons about specific things, or literally ANYTHING regarding my perfect babies.

It is so late and I am so bored.

[regenderate]

i am currently consumed with the idea that ten didn't give rose a choice at the end of journey's end because it would have killed him if she'd chosen to go with tentoo

[spaceagesparkledust]

Random Doctor Who Hcs: Favorite Types of Touch!!

Nine loves hand holding. I feel like Nine is very closed off (emotionally) but this man grasps Rose’s hand all the time. So much. First thing he does. And he just…never stops. While dancing. While running. While walking. Probably while sleeping. Ultimate sign of trust for him. Long as he’s got Rose’s hand in his everything is okay. 

Hugs? Yeah. Loves a good congratulatory hug/clasp on the back. But again, huge fan of hand holding, him. 

Ten loves hugs. Like he and Rose also hold hands through all of time and space but he loves hugs. And he needs one constantly. In constant need of a hug. Sir was born out of love and after Rose leaves is constantly touch-starved and clingy. Loves to pick people up as he hugs them. Little spin. Totally would benefit from being compressed into a zip file.

Enjoys people (rose, Donna) messing with his hair. Just like a little scratch and he’ll melt. He’s like a cat. 

He’s very touchy with Donna who has learned to just deal with it. He’s taller than her so he’ll just lean down and put his chin on her shoulder. Or lean against her while watching movies. Just. puddle of time lord. Personal space who?

After Martha stops being his companion, he’s much more open to touch with Martha. He enjoyed hugging her before but his hugs just feel so much better afterwards. Holding hands with Martha is also pretty nice (makes him miss Rose though).

But I think also if he’s being particularly broody he won’t let himself be touched nor will he seek it out because’s always alright. (Donna’s got him though). 

Slightly touch-adverse post Midnight. If it’s a stranger and he doesn’t initiate it, he’s not going to enjoy it. If it’s someone he trusts then he’s more open to it and will likely reciprocate. But a stranger’s hands on him start to feel a little too much like the shuttle. Especially if its a harsh grab.

Tentoo gets to touch Rose all the time. Its great. Favorite type of touch is probably cuddling and kissing because he can do that now. Any time he wants without fear. 

Eleven likes subtle touches. Grabbing Amy’s arm while he’s excited. Patting Rory on the back or shoulder. Poking someone. He moves around too much for other types of touches so he’ll give little swipes of affection. 

He does still enjoy hugs though, particularly from Amy. 

I think if the Doctor’s hugged for too long he’ll like shut down or something. 

Amy discovers the head scratchy thing and it like, shuts him off. Completely slack. Amy finds it hilarious and so fascinating and 11 hates it so much. It is a good way to bring him back down to earth though. 

“Rory, come look at this.” 

“Do you feel better?” “yes. Don’t think I’m not mad at you anymore Pond.”

River also knows about this and threatens to use it for evil all the time. She and Amy have definitely chased 11 around the TARDIS, only for 11 to run into Rory’s arms thinking that Rory is safe. He’s not. Rory knows about the spot. Rory is not safe. 

I don’t think 11 really knows how to respond to kissing. Not his favorite. Could do without it/give him a warning if you’re going to kiss him. 

He’s gotten used to kissing River but sometimes he’s still ick about it.

He does love giving Amy forehead kisses though! 

Martha likes cheek kisses. She seems like that kind of girl. A little smooch to the cheek. She’ll do it with her family, they’ll do it with her. She’ll give them to her friends. She gives one to the Doctor post-companionship. She gives them to Jack. He gives them to her. Its very cute. 

Fourteen is touchy as heck. Oh my gosh. It’s different from 10 though where he was constantly touch-starved, no Fourteen just loves giving affection to his friends. 

Most affectionate with Donna. They’re like glued to each other. 

Gives Mel enthusiastic hugs too. 

Likes giving more than receiving. He very much needs to be held for a good minute but he much prefers giving hugs and other forms of physical affection TO other people rather than them to him.

[variousqueerthings]

fascinated that in toeing the line of "the doctor both is and is not asexual, and because the show is ostensibly sexier now there should be imagery of especially david tennant and various women (shockingly no men with ten) smooshing lips," it means that the doctor only ever instigates a kiss when it's got some scifi-type reason behind it, even starting with nine removing the time vortex from rose.

so only counting lip-to-lip contact for a second here*:

jack kisses the doctor (the parting of the ways)

nine removes the time vortex from rose (the parting of the ways)

cassandra kisses the doctor (new earth)

madame de pompadour kisses the doctor (the girl in the fireplace)

jackie kisses the doctor (army of ghosts)

the doctor leaves a DNA print on martha (smith and jones)

martha gives the doctor cpr (smith and jones)

john smith kisses joan (human nature)

astrid kisses the doctor (voyage of the damned)

the doctor kisses astrid goodbye as she dies (voyage of the damned -- only instigation on the doctor's part of any kiss)**

donna shocks the doctor out of being poisoned (unicorn and the wasp)

christina de souza kisses the doctor in planet of the dead and is overall very flirtatious at him in a way that almost feels like idk. an anti-romance plot. it's like everything that came before (and tbh... also amy and river song) in terms of "sexy" doctor-and-companion tension is lampshaded and made a bit silly. I don't know if this is just because the actress and dtennant have minus chemistry, but it's very funny that this is the final flirting + kiss and it's so very... "shrug, you're not going to be my companion, okay, goodbye"

*I think the only time the doctor even jokingly talks about kissing is in dalek's of manhatten, when martha and bby andrew garfield/frank have been captured and the doctor arrives. martha expresses her relief, and the doctor says something along the lines of: "well, you can kiss me later. you too frank, if you want." this is to diffuse a very scary/tense situation

**I tend to read the astrid final kiss as a kindness/comfort rather than romantic interest or sexual interest. because she is dying. and she kissed the doctor earlier, and is very scared

but wait! tentoo and rose were really going at it, you say! tentoo is part human/specifically human in a donna sense. tentoo is also super up for settling down and having a monogamous relationship, which isn't exactly the doctor's style in any regeneration. so yeah.. tentoo is another part of the tightrope, just like john smith. change the doctor into someone who is almost-but-not-quite the same, enough plausible deniability and voila, it's almost like the doctor is kissing someone, but crucially, the doctor still Is Not. in tentoo's case, the doctor is in fact watching it happen with a somewhat despondent look, before turning and leaving without waiting for rose to say goodbye. because, youknow. canonically the doctor cannot give rose what she wants (because he's not alloromantic/allosexual because he's an immortal alien) so it's better just to leave

lastly flirting: the doctor does flirt, but not often. the most flirtatious the doctor gets outside of above kissing line is when jack briefly joins nine and rose, and I'd call that the jack-contagion (affectionately, it's a good thing). ten, actually, flirts... less. comparably. (and hilariously is annoyed that jack flirts so much around him) a bit with rose in christmas invasion and new earth, but apart from the "sexy" wink, not very overtly. I mean, maybe I'm very ace, but I think they do banter rather than flirting. the one time the doctor interprets something as flirting that funnily enough isn't is when rose is talking to a cat. the doctor similarly gets flirted at (madame de pompadour, shakespeare code, martha several times, health and safety, silence of the library) but doesn't tend to enjoy it or often even notice it

[redheadcyd]

anyone else noticing the pattern here? 😃

This is my messy attempt to offer some clarification regarding this war between NineRose and TenRose, which is causing some strangeness and confusion, especially among Doctor/Rose shippers.

It isn’t weird how all of these people feel comfortable labeling themselves as NineRose enjoyers whilst they blatantly, simultaneously bash TenRose/TentooRose? Even when they show all their true colors and aim the animosity towards Rose, they claim to love NineRose in the end of the day.

Why do these self-titled Rose/TenRose/TentooRose haters feel so comfortable within NineRose fandom, though? It’s almost like they don’t even consider you guys to be Rose fans as well. I wonder why.

Also, another thing I have noticed it’s that the “same ship” discourse is only ever aimed at TenRose stans, only brought up to guilty-trip people who have a clear preference for TenRose and/or TentooRose into loving/supporting NineRose just as equally. Because they are the same, or so you say. But it is seemingly fine for the people who have a preference for NineRose to say shit about TenRose/TentooRose, even claim to be haters... And none of you will bat an eye. The double standard of it all.

I’m not trying to generalize all NineRose fans, nor am I trying to give the fandom a bad name, I ship NineRose myself, but I am not going to pretend that I don’t see a bunch of you guys daily interacting and engaging with blatant anti TenRose/TentooRose content. And finding excuses to dismiss people’s frustrations and criticisms on the nasty, misogynistic remarks of these self-titled NineRose enjoyers towards Rose and her relationship with Ten and Tentoo.

TenRose/TentooRose fans aren’t the ones who initiate and instigate these wars and they’re definitely not the ones who separate NineRose from TenRose/TentooRose. As you can see, NineRose fans are the ones who do that themselves. If anything, TenRose/TentooRose fans have been just trying to make you all see the picture, yet they have been ignored each time because you don’t want to hold your fandom’s actions accountable. Not to say TenRose/TentooRose fans are saints, but they were actually right all along.

[insomniac-101]

Metacrisis Doctor Character Analysis

Sooooo… I heard some of you are still on the fence about Tentoo.

Now, why you would be is completely understandable. I mean, it took me rewatching the show as an adult to really understand the nuance behind his ending but it’s been years, and it truly saddens me to see that there is still so much confusion surrounding his existence. Especially since he essentially reaffirms the overarching message of the show, and without him, it would not be as impactful.

But no fear! I love analyzing this era in particular and so, it would be an honor to share with all of you my interpretation of how he fits in Ten’s overall development as well as the potential questions raised by his existence. 

After all, he is such a great addition to canon and so I wish to spread my excitement now that there is a chance we might see more of him!

(P.s I swear I will get to Ten eventually lol but his character in particular tends to mesh into other character arcs so much, that it is easier to address them in parts rather than all together.)

Now then, let’s set something straight from the get-go. 

Tentoo’s existence does not get in the way of the Doctor and Rose’s romance. It is actually quite the opposite, it only goes to reaffirm how much they love one another. 

How they were essentially made for one another (Literally and figuratively lmao).

So much so, that Ten was essentially split into two as a means of holding onto the hope of keeping her in his life.

To reduce his existence as a mere love rival, in my opinion, is such a disservice to the narrative because not only does it imply that Rose’s ultimate choice to be with Tentoo is shallow but it also does not take into account crucial aspects of the Doctor’s character arc overall. Who by extension, also applies to Tentoo.

During his tenure as the Doctor, we observe Ten's strong inclination to merge with humanity, as he fervently yearns for it. That increasing temptation is what often puts him at odds with his role in the universe, and in turn, compels him to uphold strict barriers between himself and other humans. Even if it means causing harm to himself and the people he holds dear

As the only time lord in the universe, he cannot afford the luxury of possessing a human life, so he attempts to convince himself that his fascination with our way of life is merely admiration, rather than a genuine desire to experience it firsthand. Thus, he considers himself an outsider because he realizes that if he were to succumb to his desire, his happiness in experiencing it would be fleeting.

Despite his longing to experience a different way of life, he cannot bring himself to give up his identity as the last living time lord, as that would mean forfeiting an essential aspect of himself and the final vestiges of his people. Thus, although he may yearn to live a more leisurely existence, he would never do so, as it would entail sacrificing too much. 

Not to mention, it would mean pitting his own needs against those of the world, and his selflessness would never allow that to happen.

At least, not yet anyways.

In spite of his upbringing, his rebellious attitude that made him stand out amongst other time lords made him curious and flighty. Often roaming the universe in an attempt to find strange occurrences that counter his understanding of how it works. He finds joy in living a life on the run, and for a while that is all he really wanted.

However, with constantly moving, there comes a point where one realizes that there is no one to return to. That the thrills only serve as a distraction of what is actually compelling him not to remain stationary, and by not stopping to consider what he is leaving behind, he is not being conscious of the consequences. 

The Doctor's decision to become a wanderer stands in stark contrast to the nature of his people.

A problem that only worsens once the time war effectively orphans him.

Traveling and saving others allows him to put aside all his self-loathing and forget what it feels like to be utterly alone, but it is not enough to fill the void of loss. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this is a solely negative thing by any means, but the manner in which he utilizes it is harmful because it comes at the cost of never changing his tendencies to self-sabotage. Given that he doesn't stick around long enough to have it catch up to him.

Frankly, it enables his assertion that he doesn’t deserve happiness and so he never seeks it out, in spite of knowing what it is he wants.

In his eyes, it is easier to let go than to let in. 

To fall deeper to cynicism and negativity because it protects him from further pain

 And boy does the narrative pull the ultimate uno card on him, flipping his whole perception on his manner of living by introducing one major character. 

The individual, who practically embodies this very temptation is none other than Rose Tyler.

It is her introduction into his life that almost seems to further prod at this desire of his. Before,it appeared that he watched human life from a distance simply because it was less painful than being alone and grieving the loss of his own people. But with her, he is left to consider whether he could actually experience something as deeply fulfilling as love. Whether a man drenched in the blood of his kind is worthy of change and forgiveness. It is because of this that his final act as Nine is one of self-sacrifice, as he dies hoping that this new form will embrace the humanity and kindness that she utilized to save him in his darkest moments

But between him and humanity will always be a barrier, which is all the more tragic once one considers how Ten was born out of Nine’s pursuit of it. It makes the unattainable nature of it, all the more hurtful.

Now I can name multiple examples of this longing being implied all throughout the RTD era but I assume most people know what they are. I mean they’re not exactly subtle lol but I urge you to keep those in mind as I continue.

With that in mind, however, I can now address the most overt display of this desire of his and that is none other than in the episode “Human Nature.”

Within this story, we are introduced to John Smith. A persona, that was curated by the Tardis as a means of saving him from falling victim to a gang of evil shapeshifting aliens. Here, we are shown a version of the Doctor that is weirdly familiar but at the same time, completely different.

However what I make of these differences is not really to prove that they’re so different that they're incomparable, but rather that they share way more than one would think at first glance.

John Smith is unremarkable. He is kind, intelligent, witty, and imaginative in the ways the doctor is but his demeanor is drastically different. More often than not, being seen as quiet and shy, and more of a follower than a leader.

I don’t think him taking on the role of a soldier in his final moments is a coincidence. Rather it is a testament to who the time lord is: a traumatized man who has a knack for finding himself in the same position over and over again because he has a tendency of repeating mistakes.

Think about it, in the war, the Doctor was not one who stood to the side and never took part in the violence. He admits that he took an active part in the fight, with him being the one who ultimately stopped it against his better judgment. This is to say that this more obedient version of himself (that seemingly seems fine with physical punishment and sacrificing the life of his students, if it is not under his call) isn’t really all that foreign to us given that at one point, he assumed a similar role in the time war. His ability to resort to violence, even when human, is a testament to this. That he is bound to his past deeds and that a human life will not change that he is deeply changed by this event in time lord history.

He is more prone to violence when prompted and he is not one to disregard an order that is given to him. He even seems to be more classist by nature of living in the current time period. So much so that he doesn’t seem to form much of a bond with Martha in spite of them spending so much time together under her employment.

Although he is brave when it matters, there are moments when Ten can be rather cowardly. And that holds true to both John and the Doctor, with both seemingly running the moment they are confronted with the consequences that come as a result of their impulsive decisions. This knack for running from their problems never impedes their awareness that what they are doing is incorrect but nonetheless, it's that temptation to defy the unavoidable that makes them avoid confrontation. Resorting to denial as a scapegoat, before ultimately returning to do what is right. 

While the Doctor's innate selflessness sets him apart from others of his kind, he is still susceptible to making similar mistakes.

That haughty, and arrogant nature of his people are the very same qualities that can be found in him. This is especially shown through the manner in which John interacts with people he perceives as below him.

The culture of time lords is quite classist by nature. They assumed themselves to be the rulers of the universe and claimed superiority over other races because of their advancements. It is because of this complete disregard for others that aren’t themselves that they suffer greatly in the war.

With that said, it is because of this that I think he is able to assume a more indifferent demeanor towards the servants in his household. Mainly because a huge part of who the Doctor became was a direct result of the opposition he held toward the beliefs of his own people. He found their rules arbitrary and outdated, but just because he knew better does not mean he is exempt from repeating their mistakes even when he is conscious of who he is.

No this manner of assuming self importance takes on a different form, when he is aware of it.

He often assumes himself untouchable and the wisest in the room, and wields his status as a time lord as a means of making sly comments toward humankind. Of course, one could argue it is harmless as it does not come from a place of malicious intent. However his assumed superiority can make him incapable of recognising his own faults as a person, which can lead to disastrous results. Especially when he seemingly doesn’t consider the consequences of his involvement in other people’s lives.

Something that Joan points out.

“Answer me this, just one question, that’s all. If the Doctor never had visited us…never chosen this place on a whim, would anyone here have died?”

To completely deprive him of his timelord nature, would mean to leave him vulnerable to adopting the very same attitudes he resented in his own culture. This is why John Smith does not respect the opinions of his employees, in spite of knowing better than to underestimate the importance of the people around him. It would make him unable to recognize the patterns of discrimination elsewhere as he is no longer privy to the wisdom he gathered from his years of living.

By completely adopting humanity, he is none the wiser to fall into their faults as individuals.

That being said, this quiet side of him is really not that strange either once one considers that we have seen that Ten in particular has a knack for hiding his feelings behind a mask of cheerfulness. This version of himself may not be boisterous and loud, but that does not make him any less thoughtful. Shown to have strong stances on certain matters even if he doesn't share them with others. He is more honest with his feelings, and with this comes perhaps the biggest indicator that John Smith shares a lot more with the Doctor than we initially thought.

John Smith falls in love.

It is no coincidence that in this very episode, he develops romantic feelings for the school nurse and he has a dream about Rose Tyler. One where she keeps walking away but all the more, he is motivated to follow. All for the sake of recovering a “perfect Rose.”

Even when he is fully human and not aware of who she is, there is a part of the Doctor that fiercely hangs onto her, manifesting in his dreams. The thought of being with her and finding her, is of the utmost importance even when he cannot seemingly remember why. Which goes to show you just how much the Doctor treasures the love he has for her. It is she, that is able to tempt these feelings even in her absence because she is the reason they exist to begin with.

This inclusion of her in the story ties his pursuit of humanity into a pursuit for her. Making both the main motivation behind his need to experience it, even if he is not fully aware of why.

“You knew this all along and yet you watched while Miss Redfern and I …”

“I didn’t know how to stop you. He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn’t included.”

“What falling in love? That didn’t even occur to him?

“No”

“Then what sort of man is that?”

This is why John Smith expressing horror at the thought of there being a version of himself that cannot love someone is so heartbreaking. Because through him we know more than ever that that is not true, that he is more than capable of loving others as the Doctor but the problem is that he never would allow himself to do so. It is not a matter of whether or not he can, but rather why he can't.

When John chooses to sacrifice himself, it mirrors the same actions the Doctor takes in his present life. Choosing to leave behind what he wants for the sake of what the universe requires him to do. 

So when he reasons with Joan that John Smith is still a part of him, he means it. For it is an expression of the Doctor at his most vulnerable and honest, that allows for the existence of someone like John Smith. But alas, his life is not a life he can assume given his alien nature.

But with this choice to live on, as is, we are only left to come up with a single conclusion.

In order to live a life that is both fulfilling and meaningful, the Doctor can neither be fully human nor a timelord. 

Although he is a timelord, the overwhelming sense of loneliness that he experiences is debilitating. He can try to reason his way around needing companionship and love, but no amount of thinking will deny that it is something he desperately craves.

Humanity provides him with all the necessary attributes he lacks, but in exchange, it demands that he sets aside his principles as a protector of time. To put aside his own fears of seeing those he loves wither away if it means he'll get to know them for the entirety of their short lives. 

Individually, achieving either one is impossible since pursuing a single path would leave the other side of himself unfulfilled. He is at war with himself, essentially.

Therefore, he must endeavor to discover a balance between the two divergent viewpoints, instead of attempting to abandon one in favor of the other.

….Guess who embodies middle ground is?

Tentoo represents that balance, down to the biological level.

In order to understand why though you have to understand one crucial detail: Ten and Tentoo are the same person.

What Tentoo is, in relation to Ten, is himself lol

A regeneration that went wrong because the regeneration energy that was meant to heal the time lord body, was siphoned into his once freshly regenerated hand. In other words, instead of remaining within one body like the usual regenerative process, it was put into a separate vessel that came from the original body. Which allowed it to regenerate the body it was missing, and essentially created what would be a second Doctor.

The reason why this process differed from previous regenerations is due to the fact that the transferred regeneration energy was already partially depleted, resulting in a reduced dosage that could facilitate partial healing but not a complete regeneration.

(It was established prior to the Christmas invasion that there are limitations to the cellular energy that a time lord uses to regenerate, mainly in the sense that it can run out. When in small quantities, however, it can be used to heal smaller injuries if it is used within the first 15 hours of a regeneration cycle. It's this small amount he has left that allows him to regenerate the hand he lost to begin with.)

We are aware of this fact because the time lord Doctor utilized a portion of the energy to recover from the Dalek's attack, but not a sufficient amount to trigger a full regeneration. This is why he sends the rest into his severed hand, because if not, the cycle would have proceeded.

Due to this, however, the energy seems to not be able to proceed with anything it was planned for. So it sits on standby, not by choice, but because the hand itself is technically a regenerated hand. It can't do much other than wait until it receives more energy from the original time lord body or find another source of energy that is compatible to recover the body of the disembodied hand in its entirety.

So what ends up happening?

It's Donna.

Donna is what ends up happening.

Upon touching it out of curiosity, Donna appears to experience no immediate negative effects.. This serves as another indication that the remaining regenerative energy was minimal, as we, the viewers, are well aware that the standard dosage would be detrimental to humans.

However, this is where it gets interesting because seemingly the energy is utilized in a manner that is unlike any prior regeneration process. 

As previously mentioned, it can be deduced that the reason why other time lords never considered becoming human as a way to avoid regeneration was due to their sense of superiority. They did not view humans as equals, therefore, a human existence would not be regarded as advantageous.

Furthermore, their society places little importance on outward appearance due to the frequency with which time lords undergo transformations. Thus, this occurrence is primarily a result of Ten's deviation from their viewpoint on regeneration. He perceives it as a form of dying, akin to the experience of a human, even though this does not apply to him.

It is worth considering the anatomy of a time lord when attempting to comprehend how he appeared to transform into a hybrid. According to our understanding, although they appear human on the outside, a time lord's body contains numerous organs that are absent in a human body. As a result, it is theoretically more intricate than that of a human, but at the same time, similar enough to be somewhat compatible as a point of comparison.

Given the limited amount of energy remaining, it would be logical for the energy to use a human body as a template when attempting to essentially create a new body out of nothing.Not only because Donna was the only one available to touch it, but because the anatomical similarities as well as the less complex nature of a human body would prove to be easier to make than a fully timelord one.

In other words, the regenerative process was utilized as a means of healing both bodies without resulting in a complete regeneration, which is what makes this instance unique.

(that we know from prior scenes, at times, requires so much energy to heal that that it is capable of damaging the Tardis)

This is why he says that he essentially came out of Donna. Because in a way, he did. His body was fashioned off of her biological makeup as a means of compensating for the lack of cellular energy used to heal his body normally.

This is why it in turn makes her half time lord, because the energy changed her according to the metacrisis. Transferring Time lord DNA into her, as a means of making up for the loss of DNA she experienced in the process.

But where the two differ is in creation. Donna was already human. Herbody is that of a full human, not of a hybrid. Her brain in particular is not capable of handling the centuries of knowledge/memory of a timelord and so that is why her body eventually gives out. That is why, the Doctor has to lock her memories away.

Because theoretically, it is easier to make an immortal body mortal. Given that their body is meant to be extremely resistant to factors that would usually decimate a mortal one, but the same cannot be said about the opposite as we are far more delicate.

Tentoo though, he's chillin. 

Not only because his body is able to effectively restore itself with that leftover energy and the human boost, but also because his entire body is made to handle both timelord and human aspects. He will not suffer the same fate as Donna because he is born as both. 

They're in perfect harmony within his body, unlike Donna whose human aspect was being taken over by the superior time lord genes.

This is why they are fundamentally the same person: Ten and Tentoo.

Because not only do they come from the same body, but the same regenerative energy as well. This is also why they share the same memories. The regeneration energy appeared after he was shot by the dalek ray, and so, that moment was effectively the point by which their shared consciousness stopped. No longer existing in a sole body, but two.

It is because of this same shared energy that the appearance of neither changes: because it was utilized to heal both vessels and abort the regenerative process.

(Also it technically did take up a regeneration canonically hence why I called it a sort of botched regeneration. Which would make sense, given the amount of energy that was used to carry out the healing of two bodies.)

In summary, everything that makes the Doctor, the Doctor, is still in both bodies.

They're not twins, they're the same man through and through. Down to the manner in which they're born, with both effectively existing out of their love for Rose and humanity.

In the same way that the doctor claims that Tentoo was born out of hatred and war, it is his love and wishes to appease her that spawned his existence. So really the differences between the two are almost non-existent if not for one crucial detail: unlike the time lord, Tentoo is not bound by the obligation to serve the universe.

This is where things get fascinating.

Now that there are two bodies, they essentially function as parallel versions of the same man. 

They are different, not because they're not both the Doctor, but because their circumstances allow them to make different choices. From there on out, both will inevitably grow to be different people. As Tentoo essentially embodies the most authentic representation of a human Doctor, having had the option to abandon his responsibility as the guardian of the universe, he provides us with an insight into what the Doctor would be like at his most honest.

That is why Tentoo acts on impulse and commits genocide. Not because Ten wouldn't have done the same given the chance to give into the temptation, but because the fact that he is not fully time lord affords him the privilege to do whatever the hell he wants. He is not bound to the obligation to put the wellbeing of the universe above his own personal interest, so he erredicates them as a means of protecting the people he loves. Choosing to prioritize the people he cares for even if it comes at the expense of the dalek race

He is, effectively, free.

This is why him choosing to spend his life with Rose is such a major decision. Why when prompted by Donna, he chooses to confess his love for Rose in her ear. Despite having the freedom to choose anything, what he desires most is her. 

This revelation solidifies that this Doctor also has deep love for her, and it also implies that this is likely what the Doctor would have chosen as well, had he been given the option to leave his responsibilities behind.

Through Tentoo, we get insight into who the Doctor would be if not for his duty. A person who has the means to express themselves without any apprehension of potentially outliving their loved ones. In simpler terms, someone who can evolve and grow without the burden of guilt for being the only survivor of their kind constantly plaguing their mind. At present, this version of himself will never be alone again and can fully immerse himself in a dimension of existence that was previously only possible through John Smith.

This is why the Doctor seemingly resents him because he wishes he had the freedom to choose this life. 

It’s due to this that the notion of them being romantic rivals is also ludicrous because they are the same man. 

Had it been under different circumstances, the one who would have confessed his feelings and given Rose the chance to choose would have been the timelord. But because he is not afforded the liberty to not consider his alien nature and by extension his obligations, he cannot bring himself to initiate it. 

This is why Rose choosing to kiss Tentoo in front of the time lord doctor is crucial because it is her way of expressing that the love she extends to Tentoo is also his. That she understands that they're the same man but that ultimately, she understands that his duty is what needs to be prioritized. It is a goodbye, but also an act of gratitude for baring the extent of his feelings to her through Tentoo.

Their happy ending is not coming at the cost of Ten’s, no, rather it is what ensures that he will have one at all.

But consider this, does this not raise some major questions about who the meta crisis doctor can become?

Think about it.

Since he is no longer bound to the role of the universe's protector, there is no longer a necessity for him to act in accordance with his previous principles or obligations to do what is right.

Although Ten usually aimed to make selfless choices, he must now prioritize his own life. The stakes have shifted, and he can no longer place others' needs above his own, especially since his newfound life with his loved ones can be taken away at any moment.

As a human, he would come to understand that he cannot simply leave behind the problems he creates for others to handle. He must face the consequences of his actions and learn to maintain good relationships with those around him. With staying in one place, he bears the responsibility of building trust with others and can no longer solely rely on his reputation to get by.

Remember, he is effectively starting from scratch in Pete’s universe. He has no background on their history nor the tools he wielded when they first landed there. While waiting for the tardis to grow, he would have to effectively assume a human life until it reaches maturity.

With that in mind, he also no longer has any semblance of power over anyone. He is practically on the same level of awareness as anyone else albeit with more wisdom. Meaning he cannot hold what he knows about the future over others, and will have to adjust on collaborating with others to get things done even if it comes at the expense of his own ego lmao.

Most importantly, he can no longer stew in that self-hatred he is so privy to, and with time he will have to relearn what it means to forgive not only others but himself. To put aside that hatred and embrace the time he has with the woman he loves, even if it means confronting parts of himself he is not fond of. This will involve intimately acquainting himself with the perspective of humans to a degree that was impossible before. 

Such as in the way we humans seemingly uphold survival above all else.

Or how our morality can be very fluid in certain situations, as we are not afforded the guarantee of another life.

He will have to learn to cope with the helplessness all mortals feel when confronted by death and that in turn, could either harden him further or make him more aware of his own faults as an outsider. To understand where he went wrong in assuming that his human companions would sacrifice their perspective as a means of adapting his own.

That isn't to say that it is all bad though.

Just different.

Because this change in circumstance can either prove to be very detrimental to Ten or beneficial, and it all depends on how he manages to cope with it.

It makes him unpredictable, in a way that Ten was never afforded the privilege to be.

This could potentially demonstrate how a harmonious balance between Ten's human and Time Lord aspects would manifest in reality. To see what it would actually mean to have a time lord assume a life as a mortal. Reason being, that up until then, he only really saw humanity from a distance. This experience can aid him in developing a deeper understanding of humanity and its shortcomings as well as those of his own people.

Admittedly, John Smith served as a reference point for us. However, that modified version of the Doctor was oblivious to the gravity of his own existence. He possessed his own unique identity, with his Time Lord essence locked away. This highlights why adopting a purely human existence would never be suitable for him, as it would entail relinquishing his Time Lord perspective.

The sorrow of Ten's story lies in the fact that he could never truly embody both aspects of himself simultaneously. He was always bound by his alien nature and unable to fully embrace his human longings. This is why his story appears to have two different outcomes - with his human persona living a joyous existence, while his Time Lord form regenerates in isolation.

In his final moments, he chooses to reject this fate and resist the need for balance, instead becoming increasingly desperate to avoid regeneration. Consequently, he succumbs to the same power-hungry inclinations as his predecessors, as he tries to exert control over his fate without addressing the underlying problem.

“Well exactly look at you! Not remotely important! But me? I can do so much more! So much more! but this is what I get. My reward, well it’s not fair!....I’ve lived too long”

He could have done so much more, done so much differently if only he would have not put himself in a box. He did what was right, what was proper, yet the sacrifices done at his expense led to the same outcome.

The issue lies in his unwillingness to make compromises and achieve a state of equilibrium between his two perspectives. Instead of seeking balance, he retreats to his alien and disconnected nature, which creates a barrier between him and those around him. His decision to not confront his fate as a solitary wanderer earlier, prevented him from expressing gratitude to those who loved him when they needed it most. His need for distance denied them the chance to truly comprehend his appreciation.

He is solitary because he never allowed himself to consider an alternative, and this realization dawns on him too late. Now that everyone has departed to follow their own paths, he finds himself back where he began. 

His failure to take personal risks and develop attachments has fulfilled the very curse he sought to break.

Ultimately, what frightened him the most was not the idea of losing the people he grew to love, but the prospect of being alone while they continued to live on without him.

“Yeah what about you? Who have you got now?”

“No one, i’m traveling alone. I thought it was better alone..but I did some things that went wrong. I need..”

The central message of the RTD era is that happiness often comes at a cost and not every enjoyable experience will lead to a happy ending. However, the theme is not that an unhappy ending diminishes the value or significance of the moment, but quite the opposite - that the joy and meaning of the experience make it worth the cost, regardless of the outcome.

The RTD era's narrative encourages embracing the uncertainty of life and finding joy in the present moment, even if the outcome is uncertain or potentially disappointing. These moments can help alleviate the pain of difficult times, inspire risk-taking, and lead to unexpected achievements, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life rather than a long one.

Create a life that is customized to your individuality and maturity gained through experiences, rather than one that fixates on regret and what-ifs.

The Doctor finds it difficult to fully embrace the present moment due to the constant reminder that everything is fleeting and temporary, causing him to always be looking towards the future.

Tentoo, on the other hand, is anchored in the present because his perspective will evolve through his exposure to humanity. He will learn to fully embrace the joy and sorrow of living life to the fullest, cherishing every moment, even the mundane ones. He knows that life is temporary and that every day is a precious gift, which is why he will live each moment to its fullest. Despite the inevitable challenges that will come his way, he will remain optimistic, confident that his joy will only grow as he continues to live.

His ability to balance both his human and Time Lord nature allows him to fully embrace all aspects of his life, without giving preference to one over the other. Which in turn, further establishes his unique identity and reinforces the qualities that made him a beloved incarnation of the Doctor.

Tentoo is able to love without hesitation, expressing his affection to those he cares for and acknowledging the importance of emotions that were once discouraged amongst his own kind.

In other words, be Tentoo.

(not the mass murder part though lol)

Be the version of yourself that doesn't hold back and don't commit the same mistakes that the Doctor did out of fear.

So yall be more kind to my boy!

[darklinaforever]

Things that annoy me and that I sometimes come across while reading Tentoorose fanfictions :

- Saying that Tentoo's parents are Ten and Donna. (No. The closest Tentoo can get to Donna in terms of DNA is a brother, completing the brother-sister relationship he had with her when he was still Ten. And Ten can't be Tentoo's father, simply because he's the same person, coming from the same source of regenerative energy making the Doctor who he is)

- Rose who, as soon as an old complicated memory from the time of their travels in the Tardis is mentioned, tells Tentoo that he has nothing to reproach himself for, because it wasn't really him... (So no. Tentoo is the same person as Ten having experienced the same things. He is not a clone or a copy with the memories. Same person, once again, because he comes from the source of regeneration)

- Whether the terms clones or copies are used to designate Tentoo in the narration or on the part of Rose. (So ​​once again : bullshit ! Do you really think that Rose, who spent years trying to find the doctor, would be satisfied with less than the doctor himself ?! That she would have just taken a "copy" or a "clone", when she was ready to give up everything for him ? I often see people acting as if Rose was an unintelligent companion, when in reality she is extremely intelligent. She, at least, understood the principle of basic regeneration. It's so out of character to have her say that in fanfiction...)

- That Tentoo himself doubts being the doctor, or says that he is not really him. (The gif speaks for itself)

- To say that Rose couldn't make a real choice and that Ten and Tentoo just chose for her. (So... yes, Ten tried to put her in this situation, and Tentoo clearly wanted to stay with Rose and knew what Ten was doing because even no one. Except that in the end, by kissing Tentoo Rose had made her choice. She fucking chose it ! Also... Did you see the way she looks at him and sticks him in the Tardis ? It is very clear that Rose chose of her own free will)

- That Rose is incapable of truly accepting Tentoo. (Again... bullshit. We're talking about the girl who considers Pete from the alternate world to be her father, even though he's not her real father. Why would she be incapable of accepting a human regeneration of the doctor ? Especially since it contradicts the ending, where she clearly understood what Tentoo was, the same way she understood that Ten was the same person as Nine, and then chose him accordingly)

[sygzie]

tpotw kiss scene kind of parallels their whole relationship idk. especially their arc over s2+ that is yet to come. he knows it's dangerous ("the power's going to kill you and it's my fault"/"you wither and you die") but sort of relinquishes because he realizes the unique extent to which she can understand and love him ("that's what i see. all the time"/end of s2 when he stops resisting it and is literally just committed to her like in tsp) and he, now fully devoted, ends up sacrificing himself and becomes a new person for her (becomes ten, a regeneration that is specifically for her/tentoo, um also specifically for her). like she walks into his head and sits down and says i will never leave here and it's scary for both of them but her absurd confidence and stubbornness keep making it true in the end.. so she never has to leave him after all :)

[metacrisisdoctor]

there are posts about how they don't like how ten was written as a "casanova" when he was in love with rose and then the examples are just things that are completely miscontrued. the fact that some people genuinely think ten was going around fucking people is INSANE to me. he did not have sex with anyone, including rose (until he becomes tentoo, obv)

aside from gitf, which is a moffat episode and wildy ooc bc of that, he doesn't have any flirtation or "romance" that interfers with his love for rose. even gitf, if you WANT TO can be seen as him running from his love for rose after what happened in school reunion.

human nature is all about rose, how he wants to be human and he cannot be (or so he thinks) - how when he becomes human he cannot stop dreaming about rose even when he forgets everything else.

his encounter with astrid in voyage of the damned has multiple direct parallels to rose. after he loses rose - seemingly forever - he is searching for her/that feeling in other people whether or not he even realizes it.

he may have "married" queen elizabeth and been flirty in planet of the dead but those episodes take place after journey's end, where he actually has said goodbye to rose forever because she is happy with another version of himself.

the tenth doctor is completely defined by his love for rose and if you don't understand that you are gonna misunderstand pretty much everything about him, especially this.

[quantumshade]

okay actually i rewatched potd the other day and. i have so many gripes with that episode. so many. but what really got me is how like. inconsequential 13's death feels, and not inconsequential in the right way.

honestly 13's regeneration feels a LOT like 10's, but missing all of the beats that made 10's work. let me explain:

(under a cut because HOLY SHIT this got long. don't let classicists write dr who meta)

both 10's and 13's regenerations are prophesied to them. ten gets the woman in planet of the dead, carmen, who says "he will knock four times." thirteen gets the Literal Incarnation Of Time telling her, "beware of the forces that mass against you. and their master."

both their regenerations happen after a short-ish period of time, at least for a time lord. 10 regenerates after only a handful of years, a decade at most, and 13 spends the majority of her life in prison for decades. that's nothing!! 11 and 12 both had centuries.

ten cheating regeneration with tentoo and then regenerating a few episodes later anyway 🤝 thirteen cheating regeneration after being forced into being the master and then back again and then dying almost immediately after anyway

they both almost make it out!! but they don't, and it's heartbreaking!

what's different between them, to me, is their reactions to their deaths. a lot of people who don't like rtd era/ten complain about the scene where he has a breakdown before saving wilf, complaining that he's being whiny or whatever, but in my mind, he has every right to be whiny and upset. regeneration is a death, as established earlier in the episode. it's hard, starting over again and again and again, becoming someone new, especially when he's only had this body for a couple of years AND he believes his next body is his last.

yknow why he's upset in that scene? because he could just walk away. he could just let wilf take the fall, let one, inconsequential old man die, and go off and have adventures forever. but it's not a choice for him. because he's the doctor, and the doctor would never, ever take the other choice. he was always going to save wilf. there's no world in which he didn't.

but he's scared of dying. he's scared of change. he's lost everyone he's ever loved in this body, often in horrible, unchangeable ways. and it's a sad story. but it's an incredibly narratively satisfying one, because it's a culmination of ten's entire arc. he lost his way, broke all his own rules, and was punished heavily for it, but in the end, he still does the right thing, because at their core, the doctor is a good person.

there's a running theme in just about pretty much all of doctor who from 1963 onwards that every single person is important and every life matters. 9 dies to save rose, but is also prepared to die permanently to save the human race. 10 dies to save wilf. 11, after centuries of running away from responsibilities and problems, settles down to protect one town on one planet, accepting he will die for good there. 12 dies to save a handful of people on a ship--"maybe not many, maybe not for long"--accepting all of this might be for nothing, but he does it because it's the right thing to do. because it's kind. the doctor does these things, lays down their lives one right after another because they are fundamentally a kind person.

13 lets people sacrifice themselves for her. multiple times. like. four different people she BARELY knows sacrifice themselves for her (i.e. the derry girls grandpa in "the timeless children" and the one pirate guy in "legend of the sea devils"). and she LETS them. i'm not saying this as a gripe against her, but rather, the writing that doesn't consider those lives important.

people sacrifice themselves for other doctors, of course, it happens all the time. to keep using ten as an example, river is one, and that prickish kid from the sontaran episodes, but he doesn't LET them. they don't give him that choice. and when he IS given that choice, to let someone "inconsequential" die in his place, he doesn't take it.

and then the way 13 does die just feels so... nothing. the master's angry at her, so he aims a large and slow moving Beam at her, and she basically stands there while it hits her. and that's it. honestly i would have been much happier with it if they said it was a product of the forced regeneration from earlier. that would have made a lot more sense. but the whole thing with the qorunx (is that what it's called??) just feels so... last minute. like they forgot that she needed to die at the end of the episode so they just shoved something in. it feels like an afterthought.

yaz's exit feels the same way. you're telling me she fought for four years in the past to get back to the doctor, and now she's just leaving because the doctor is regenerating? it feels like yaz and the doctor both had endings because the narrative said they needed endings, not because their character arcs had come to a satisfying close.

they deserved better. yaz deserved an exit that was fair to her as a character. the doctor deserved a death that mattered. and she deserved to be more upset about her death.

she gets a little bit, just a taste, of an emotional moment: "No. No. That's not right. I need more time. I want more time!", before immediately accepting her death and coming to terms with it. "And I have loved being me," she says. but me, as a viewer who cares about characterization and storytelling, asks, "have you?"

because 13 spent more time of this life IN PRISON than out of it. her life outside was never easy, either, she rarely got moments of true happiness. hell, in this regeneration, she found out her entire life was a lie!

...but she loved being her?

i think 13 should have gotten to be angry and upset that she wasn't given those moments of peace or happiness. she didn't get a lot of time being her, and the time she did get was fraught and difficult and painful. she should have gotten to be upset about not having more time for more than 0.2 seconds. she should have been allowed to be afraid of dying. or at least upset about dying.

i don't know. i don't know if this post is at all coherent but i'm just really disappointed in potd and my rewatch really cemented that. it didn't have the emotional resonance that i wish it did. it felt rushed, overstuffed, and, much like the rest of chibnall era, not well thought out.

[thiefbird]

Prompts!

Hey guys, I've decided to start taking writing prompts (read: please dear god send me writing prompts i love you all)!

Here are a list of prompt sets:

Unreal Unearth prompts

Smutty One-Liner prompts

Tarot Whump prompts

Angry Confession prompts

Sex Tropes prompts

Jealousy Dialogue starters

Breakup/Dramatic Dialogue prompts

Kiss prompts

Enemies To Lovers prompts

Or just send me lyrics to songs you like!

Things I'd love to write:

Temeraire

Jane Roland & Will Laurence or Jane/Laurence

Emily Roland & Will Laurence

John Granby/ Will Laurence

Tenzing Tharkay/Will Laurence

John Granby/Tenzing Tharkay (or Granby/Tharkay/Laurence)

Hornblower

Sir Edward Pellew/Horatio Hornblower

Hotspur Husbands

Renown Trio (platonic and/or romantic and/or sexual)

Horatio Hornblower & Maria maybe? I love complicated marriages

Aubreyad

Jack Aubrey/Stephen Maturin (or Jack & Stephen)

Jack Aubrey/Sophie Williams

Stephen Maturin/Diana Villiers

Sophie Williams & Stephen Maturin

Diana Villiers & Jack Aubrey (or possibly Diana/Jack)

Diana/Stephen/Jack maybe?

DIANA VILLIERS/CLARISSA OAKES

General Aubrey-Maturin clan domesticity

Also someone suggested this in a thread I was reading and I am Intrigued: Horatio Hornblower/Stephen Maturin

Dragon Age

Anders/anyone (but especially Fenris, Justice, Karl, Nathaniel, or Hawke or the HoF, whether one of mine or one of yours)

m!Solavellan

Bull/Lavellan, Bull/Cadash, or Bull/Adaar

Alistair/HoF

Alistair/Zevran

Morrigan/HoF

Morrigan/Leliana

Send me your weird rarepairs! I will at least give them a shot

Mass Effect

Shepard/Garrus

Shepard/Thane

Shepard/Garrus/Thane

Shepard/Liara

Ryder/Jaal

Ryder/Vetra

Jaal/Evfra

Doctor Who extended universe

Nine/Rose

Nine/Jack/Rose

Jack/Ianto

Jack/Ianto/Gwen

Ten/Rose or Tentoo/Rose

Also Hannigram, though I don't have any particular feelings about other ships for NBC Hannibal lol

[exuberantocean]

You know, with DT's recent stint as 14, it's got me thinking about 10 too (no not tentoo) and obviously a lot about Donna but also Rose and Martha. Maybe one day I'll post about Martha, as she deserves her on post (and hey I'm writing fic with her in it now!). But Rose...

It's funny because I kinda ship Doctor/Rose but I kinda don't but I also do but in the "wrong way."

I don't...I don't see them in the way some do, especially back when it aired originally (I think fans as a whole got nuanced about them over time). I think a part of it is that I've always seen the Doctor as ace regardless of the regeneration and somewhere on the aro-panromantic scale depending on the specific regeneration.

And I don't think that lessens there ability to connect with people or to love them. Too be honest, I think the Doctor falls a little bit in love with everyone they meet. Which is both lovely and such a horrible curse for an immortal.

But, the Doctor met Rose right after the Time War. There's a degree that I think he found parts of himself that he lost in Rose Tyler. There's a degree to which you can see the warrior in Nine still, as much as he'd hate to recognize it. Rose was young and saw the universe afresh and ripe for adventure, so much like his earlier selves, but especially the early days of Eight*. How amazing must it feel to find someone who awakens parts of yourself that you thought died.

And that comes to the forefront with Ten, at least while Rose was still at his side. He's here to have fun! Adventure! Nevermind those closets in his mind where the horrors are hidden, contained but straining the hinges on the doors.

He loved her. He loved her for her, yes, but perhaps even more for what she made him be.

But, you know, that's like the opposite of dealing with your issues. And so when he lost her that's when things went downhill for him very quickly. He didn't know how to cope not only with the loss of her but the loss of her ability to seemingly make everything better. The closets she kept shut burst open, spilling out all their horrors.

And what comes after that is a Doctor who flirts with death, who apparently chooses not to regenerate in Smith and Jones and Turn Left. Who guards himself against Martha and treats her unfairly.

Which brings us to the Doctor and Martha, which as I said deserves a post of its own.

*That is when Eight actually knew who he was which wasn't as often as you think it should be. Boy, that man got amnesia often.

[demdifferentstories-29]

Fear (Doctor Who (2005) fanfiction)

Story Summary

After the Empire of the Wolf, the Doctor confides to Rose about the fears her disappearance inspired.

1/1 chapters. For the Tentoo x Rose Microfic Challenge; @tentoorosemicrofics

Prompts: Worry; memories.

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler

Word Count: 1086

Chapter Content/Tags: Scars/past injuries; hurt/comfort; angst.

Link (AO3), or read below!

Story

A few hours after Rose disappeared and then came back home in a great flash of light, her husband was holding her in their bed. His fingers traced her bare spine and skin as he gazed over her in the pale moonlight, a soft smile on his lips as he thought her beautiful. Even after all these years, with a child born, wrinkles just starting to appear around her eyes and mouth to echo her gorgeous smile, the cellulitis and stretch marks lingering, and her form maturing, his Rose was still as breath-taking and enchanting as she had been when he first encountered her nineteen-year-old-self. The gradual entrance into being a middle-aged woman had not diminished his Rose’s exquisiteness. No — it had enhanced it, like fine wine.

Rose was also stroking her husband, feeling where all the tension was still settled in his body with the gentle prodding of her fingertips. It was a surprise, really. When Mia set off to stay the night at a girlfriend’s place after dinner, the Doctor had practically dragged her into their bedroom and made love to her repeatedly until they were where they are now — collapsed and exhausted in a cuddle. Usually, an orgasm from his wife had been the quick solution to any tension he experienced in the over ten years they’d been together on Pete’s World, but not tonight, it seemed.

“What’s the matter?” she murmured in the silent darkness, now brushing her fingers around his hairline on his forehead, admiring his own light wrinkles that were apparent. She could also see a grey hair or two and fancied the idea of having a silver fox of a husband, knowing he’d suit the salt and pepper look so well.

“Hm?” he hummed back to her, quirking a brow. She licked her lips, shifting beneath the sheets a little and drawing them further up her shoulders to shield herself from the cold as the sweat layered on her body grew uncomfortable with her temperature now back to normal. He noticed this and drew her closer into his embrace, wanting to keep his wife warm and happy.

“You’re still tense,” she pointed out, searching within his eyes for the answer. He still had that ancient look, but the walls had weakened and eventually lowered in this universe and you could see feeling more clearly in them now as well. He didn’t hold his cards so close to his chest anymore and allowed people to sense and see his emotions, especially Rose. He had made a point of saying that in his vows. But sometimes, like now, he brought those defences right back up in an act of protection and self-preservation. It didn’t offend her and never would — it was a mechanism that had been drilled into him for hundreds of years and it would take a very long time for him to be fully free of that. “And… well, when you insisted we head to the bedroom, I knew something was up,” she teased lightly, grinning at the sight of his ‘you got me’ smirk. Passionate, frequent shagging wasn’t uncommon for them, but the way he looked at her and the desperation filled in his touches and movements were silent confessions.

The Doctor sucked in a breath, the smile leaving his lips as he took a moment to cohere all his thoughts and… blimey, gather the confidence to be so vulnerable with Rose about this. Of course he knew he could be so with her, but it was still scary to admit such personal struggles and fears after all this time.

“Uh, today was a bit too close to home for my liking,” he explained in a rather awkward, embarrassed tone, scratching the back of his neck. “Made me think of… Torchwood and…” he trailed off, his voice growing tight and the ability to talk crashing fast as the need to cry quickly sprung up on him. Rose didn’t need any elaboration — she knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Oh, love, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, drawing him into a tight hug, stroking his hair and just holding him. “I didn’t mean to. Oh, love.” 

That day, and their time apart, was something the couple never really moved on from. Almost losing Rose to the Void, and then dealing with the fact that they were separated for, what they knew at the time was, eternity had killed the both of them on the inside. It was a pain and a hurt that didn’t start to heal until their reunion, but even then, the fleetingness of their human life was a quiet reminder that they could so easily lose each other again.

“Just… just watching you disappear like that was horrifying,” he choked out, his tears spilling onto her shoulder and trickling down her skin. Her heart broke at the sensation as she cradled his trembling form, cooing to him softly.

When the Doctor saw Rose vanish in that bright light, it was a very distinct and uncanny reminder of the image of Pete catching her before whisking her away to their current world. It was a sick, cruel play on their trauma and it made him want to crumble away. But he knew he couldn’t, so he put all of his energy into distracting himself and pushing down the pure desire to just fall apart. The last time he’d let himself do that, in front of Donna with the Racnoss children, it was a dark feeling that felt so good because it numbed his agony. He did it because he was alone and had no consequence.

This time, he knew his wife would return and that he had his daughter to take care of too, so he packed it all away.

And now, in the safety of his wife’s arms, he let all of that emotion pour out.

“I know, I know,” she soothed, pressing a kiss to his hair and rubbing small circles into his skin. “But I came back, yeah? You didn’t lose me again — I just had to do something,” she reminded him. And like that, he stilled and calmed in her presence with her words of authority. He was a man devoted and entranced, taking her wisdom as the Holy Grail; his personal Bible. 

He lifted up his head and gazed at her with wet eyes, smoothing away a few of her own that started to race down her cheeks.

“That’s right, Rose Tyler,” he whispered with a trembling smile. “I didn’t lose you.”

[dreamcaught]

When I see people trying to explain that the Doctor was more in love with River and open with her than any of his other romantic interests, especially Rose, I want to laugh. Eleven didn't go easy on her at first and was very careful because she was a mystery. He didn't want to marry her in the first place either. It is suggested that he slept with her, but sex does not equal the wildest love in the world. It's likely he indulged in this (if it happened) because she wasn't a companion he was traveling with, unlike Rose or Clara, and he had already dealt with her future death at this point, implying that his future loss would not destroy him after experiencing this. After all, there's a difference between imagining someone's death (Rose & Clara) and having already seen it (River). Beyond that... River wasn't at all sure of the Doctor's feelings towards her, despite the improvement in their relationship. This is quite telling of the level of openness the Doctor had with her. And precisely, despite the improvement in their relationship, the Doctor still had to hide his future death from River. He always had to be careful about what he said with their meetings perpetually out of order. There is no real letting go and openings. None of the Doctor's romances aside from Rose were sure how much the Doctor actually loved them. It's literally the premise that he was as transparent as he could be about his feelings for Rose without ever saying the words. They bonded from their first meeting. From their 2nd episode he entrusted her with the destruction of his planet. Even stronger is that the Doctor literally almost said I love you twice, and finally said it to him as Tentoo. Brief. The Doctor and River fans infuriate me. All the romances in Doctor Who are different, but the fact is that it's pretty obvious that none of them are as deep and cult as the one with Rose.

Well said!

River is an odd duck to me, because while she started cool, her story got worse with each episode she was in. Honestly, River would have been a much stronger character had she not been a romantic interest. Instead, it became her core identity.

Also, good points you've made there: Yes, the Doctor did tell Rose he loved her - once as Tentoo, and many almost-times as Ten! While he says "Oh, she knows," for the audience to see how close they've become - one of River's final lines is: "If you ever loved me..." which means that nope, he never told her. And from her perspective, that's after the 24 year final-night, because it's while she's data-ghost River in the library. Both of these lines are "audience clues" to show the Doctor's feelings, but the Doctor says that his love for Rose is known, shared, while River is saying that hers is not.

River became ensnared to a weird degree with the Doctor - but more specifically as the Doctor's wife, which I find misogynistic and limited as a character. I didn't like their interactions because I felt out of the loop - like I was being forced to stand witness to their marriage much like the Doctor was forced to go through with it.

I have a very mixed feelings about Clara and the Doctor's relationship. Their romance was more toxic in a dependency sort of way that doesn't appeal to me, it felt weird that Danny was just sort of there, and Clara herself was difficult for me to like because she felt like a melting pot of whatever the writer wanted her to be for the episode.

And then there was Yaz, I guess.

So yeah, I agree. No romance has ever been as open, deep or authentic as the Doctor and Rose, even if he's had other romantic interests since. I like to think that that's part of the reason why RTD is letting them just be happy and together in their own universe. They're safe there.

[mulderscully]

honest question but like why does it annoy you so much that people are anti nine/rose or tentoo/rose? like I'm just curious. some people just don't like the way rose's story ended or don't ship ninerose. why do they bother you so much?

because doctor/rose is my most... not saying i ship them more than mulder and scully but their relationship means a great amount to me in a way that others don't because their writing from beginning to end is all so intentional and well written that i don't think it's fair to only ship tenrose and completely disregard what makes their relationship what it is.

tenrose only works because they fell in love in s1, because he died loving her and was born out of his love for her and humanity, seperating that from ten leads to a complete misunderstanding of his character, his need to be human and his relationship with rose which leads to people disliking tentoorose. it's all connected, it's a cohesive story with a beginning a middle and an end.

people hating tentoorose frustrates me because it was a long planned ending, one that is foreshadowed the entire time and that makes the most sense for their relationship while also driving in the core message of doctor who- that being human is a gift.

i don't like people picking and choosing parts of rose or their relationship to justify, frankly, incorrect readings of their relationship. we see rose say the traveling doesn't matter, we see her be excited at the prospect of settling down with him, we see her beg him not to regenerate. yet tentoorose antis act like their ending is something out of the blue when it's not. they take the power and happiness away from her when rtd intentionally shifted the je scene to give her all the control and choose tentoo. which is important because it's rare in media, especially with mortal/immortal ships for the man to become human and for the narrative to be as deeply kind to them as it was to rose. where she gets everything she wanted: her parents, a larger purpose defending the earth and to grow old with the doctor. all of those things are really special because usually it's the other way around. usually it's bella becomes a vampire, etc.

i don't like how people characterize rose as someone who would throw tentoo aside and treat him like shit, because this is the same character who showed compassion to a dalek. she is not a cold or cruel person to anyone. this is the same person who could not seperate au pete from her dad.

and like, of course people can do whatever they want on their blogs, but people cross tag this stuff, they put anti tentoorose fics in the tentoorose tag, etc. and that is incredibly annoying to see. which leads to the venting! i never hijack posts, leave mean reviews on fics that i think are ooc or anything but i have to express my feelings somewhere lol