#but their writing resonates with me emotionally much more and i like examining why

[quantumshade]

okay actually i rewatched potd the other day and. i have so many gripes with that episode. so many. but what really got me is how like. inconsequential 13's death feels, and not inconsequential in the right way.

honestly 13's regeneration feels a LOT like 10's, but missing all of the beats that made 10's work. let me explain:

(under a cut because HOLY SHIT this got long. don't let classicists write dr who meta)

both 10's and 13's regenerations are prophesied to them. ten gets the woman in planet of the dead, carmen, who says "he will knock four times." thirteen gets the Literal Incarnation Of Time telling her, "beware of the forces that mass against you. and their master."

both their regenerations happen after a short-ish period of time, at least for a time lord. 10 regenerates after only a handful of years, a decade at most, and 13 spends the majority of her life in prison for decades. that's nothing!! 11 and 12 both had centuries.

ten cheating regeneration with tentoo and then regenerating a few episodes later anyway 🤝 thirteen cheating regeneration after being forced into being the master and then back again and then dying almost immediately after anyway

they both almost make it out!! but they don't, and it's heartbreaking!

what's different between them, to me, is their reactions to their deaths. a lot of people who don't like rtd era/ten complain about the scene where he has a breakdown before saving wilf, complaining that he's being whiny or whatever, but in my mind, he has every right to be whiny and upset. regeneration is a death, as established earlier in the episode. it's hard, starting over again and again and again, becoming someone new, especially when he's only had this body for a couple of years AND he believes his next body is his last.

yknow why he's upset in that scene? because he could just walk away. he could just let wilf take the fall, let one, inconsequential old man die, and go off and have adventures forever. but it's not a choice for him. because he's the doctor, and the doctor would never, ever take the other choice. he was always going to save wilf. there's no world in which he didn't.

but he's scared of dying. he's scared of change. he's lost everyone he's ever loved in this body, often in horrible, unchangeable ways. and it's a sad story. but it's an incredibly narratively satisfying one, because it's a culmination of ten's entire arc. he lost his way, broke all his own rules, and was punished heavily for it, but in the end, he still does the right thing, because at their core, the doctor is a good person.

there's a running theme in just about pretty much all of doctor who from 1963 onwards that every single person is important and every life matters. 9 dies to save rose, but is also prepared to die permanently to save the human race. 10 dies to save wilf. 11, after centuries of running away from responsibilities and problems, settles down to protect one town on one planet, accepting he will die for good there. 12 dies to save a handful of people on a ship--"maybe not many, maybe not for long"--accepting all of this might be for nothing, but he does it because it's the right thing to do. because it's kind. the doctor does these things, lays down their lives one right after another because they are fundamentally a kind person.

13 lets people sacrifice themselves for her. multiple times. like. four different people she BARELY knows sacrifice themselves for her (i.e. the derry girls grandpa in "the timeless children" and the one pirate guy in "legend of the sea devils"). and she LETS them. i'm not saying this as a gripe against her, but rather, the writing that doesn't consider those lives important.

people sacrifice themselves for other doctors, of course, it happens all the time. to keep using ten as an example, river is one, and that prickish kid from the sontaran episodes, but he doesn't LET them. they don't give him that choice. and when he IS given that choice, to let someone "inconsequential" die in his place, he doesn't take it.

and then the way 13 does die just feels so... nothing. the master's angry at her, so he aims a large and slow moving Beam at her, and she basically stands there while it hits her. and that's it. honestly i would have been much happier with it if they said it was a product of the forced regeneration from earlier. that would have made a lot more sense. but the whole thing with the qorunx (is that what it's called??) just feels so... last minute. like they forgot that she needed to die at the end of the episode so they just shoved something in. it feels like an afterthought.

yaz's exit feels the same way. you're telling me she fought for four years in the past to get back to the doctor, and now she's just leaving because the doctor is regenerating? it feels like yaz and the doctor both had endings because the narrative said they needed endings, not because their character arcs had come to a satisfying close.

they deserved better. yaz deserved an exit that was fair to her as a character. the doctor deserved a death that mattered. and she deserved to be more upset about her death.

she gets a little bit, just a taste, of an emotional moment: "No. No. That's not right. I need more time. I want more time!", before immediately accepting her death and coming to terms with it. "And I have loved being me," she says. but me, as a viewer who cares about characterization and storytelling, asks, "have you?"

because 13 spent more time of this life IN PRISON than out of it. her life outside was never easy, either, she rarely got moments of true happiness. hell, in this regeneration, she found out her entire life was a lie!

...but she loved being her?

i think 13 should have gotten to be angry and upset that she wasn't given those moments of peace or happiness. she didn't get a lot of time being her, and the time she did get was fraught and difficult and painful. she should have gotten to be upset about not having more time for more than 0.2 seconds. she should have been allowed to be afraid of dying. or at least upset about dying.

i don't know. i don't know if this post is at all coherent but i'm just really disappointed in potd and my rewatch really cemented that. it didn't have the emotional resonance that i wish it did. it felt rushed, overstuffed, and, much like the rest of chibnall era, not well thought out.

[perpetual-stories]

22 Essential Literary Devices and How to Use Them In Your Writing

hello, happy Monday. Hope you’re all having a wonderful day!

I will skip the pre-info and dive right into it.

What Is a Literary Device?

is a tool used by writers to hint at larger themes, ideas, and meaning in a story or piece of writing

The List of Literary Devices:

Allegory. Allegory is a literary device used to express large, complex ideas in an approachable manner. Allegory allows writers to create some distance between themselves and the issues they are discussing, especially when those issues are strong critiques of political or societal realities.

Allusion. An allusion is a popular literary device used to develop characters, frame storylines, and help create associations to well-known works. Allusions can reference anything from Victorian fairy tales and popular culture to the Bible and the Bard. Take the popular expression “Bah humbug”—an allusion that references Charles Dickens’ novella A Christmas Carol. The phrase, which is often used to express dissatisfaction, is associated with the tale’s curmudgeonly character, Ebenezer Scrooge.

Anachronism. Imagine reading a story about a caveman who microwaves his dinner, or watching a film adaptation of a Jane Austen novel in which the characters text each other instead of writing letters. These circumstances are examples of anachronisms, or an error in chronology—the kind that makes audiences raise their eyebrows or do a double-take. Sometimes anachronisms are true blunders; other times, they’re used intentionally to add humor or to comment on a specific time period in history.

Cliffhanger. It’s a familiar feeling: You’re on minute 59 of an hour-long television episode, and the protagonist is about to face the villain—and then episode cuts to black. Known as a cliffhanger, this plot device marks the end of a section of a narrative with the express purpose of keeping audiences engaged in the story.

Dramatic Irony. Remember the first time you read or watched Romeo and Juliet? The tragic ending of this iconic story exemplifies dramatic irony: The audience knows that the lovers are each alive, but neither of the lovers knows that the other is still alive. Each drinks their poison without knowing what the audience knows. Dramatic irony is used to great effect in literature, film, and television.

Extended Metaphor. Extended metaphors build evocative images into a piece of writing and make prose more emotionally resonant. Examples of extended metaphor can be found across all forms of poetry and prose. Learning to use extended metaphors in your own work will help you engage your readers and improve your writing.

Foreshadowing. At its core, storytelling has one ambition: to capture and sustain your reader’s attention and keep them reading your story. Foreshadowing, or slyly indicating a future event, is one technique a writer can use to create and build suspense.

Humor. Humor brings people together and has the power to transform how we think about the world. Of course, not everyone is adept at being funny—particularly in their writing. Making people laugh takes some skill and finesse, and, because so much relies on instinct, is harder to teach than other techniques. However, all writers can benefit from learning more about how humor functions in writing.

Imagery. If you’ve practiced or studied creative writing, chances are you’ve encountered the expression “paint a picture with words.” In poetry and literature, this is known as imagery: the use of figurative language to evoke a sensory experience in the reader. When a poet uses descriptive language well, they play to the reader’s senses, providing them with sights, tastes, smells, sounds, internal and external feelings, and even deep emotion. The sensory details in imagery bring works to life.

Irony. Irony is an oft-misunderstood literary device that hinges on opposites: what things are on the surface, and what they end up actually being. Many learn about dramatic irony through works of theater like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet or Sophocles’s Oedipus Rex. When deployed with skill, irony is a powerful tool that adds depth and substance to a piece of writing.

Metaphor, Simile, and Analogy. Metaphors, similes, and analogies are three techniques used in speech and writing to make comparisons. Each is used in a different way, and differentiating between the three can get a little tricky: For example, a simile is actually a subcategory of metaphor, which means all similes are metaphors, but not all metaphors are similes. Knowing the similarities and differences between metaphor, simile, and analogy can help you identify which is best to use in any scenario and help make your writing stronger.

Motif. A motif is a repeated element that has symbolic significance to a story. Sometimes a motif is a recurring image. Sometimes it’s a repeated word or phrase or topic. A motif can be a recurrent situation or action. It can be a sound or a smell or a temperature or a color. The defining aspect is that a motif repeats, and through this repetition, a motif helps to illuminate the central ideas, themes, and deeper meaning of the story in which it appears.

Motif vs. Symbol. Both motifs and symbols are used across artistic mediums: Painters, sculptors, playwrights, and musicians all use motifs and symbols in their respective art forms. And while they are similar literary terms, “motif” and “symbol” are not synonyms.

Oxymoron. An oxymoron is a figure of speech: a creative approach to language that plays with meaning and the use of words in a non-literal sense. This literary device combines words with contradictory definitions to coin a new word or phrase (think of the idiom “act naturally”—how can you be your natural self if you’re acting?). The incongruity of the resulting statement allows writers to play with language and meaning.

Paradox. “This sentence is a lie.” This self-referential statement is an example of a paradox—a contradiction that questions logic. In literature, paradoxes can elicit humor, illustrate themes, and provoke readers to think critically.

Personification. In writing, figurative language—using words to convey a different meaning outside the literal one—helps writers express themselves in more creative ways. One popular type of figurative language is personification: assigning human attributes to a non-human entity or inanimate object in an effort to express a point or idea in a more colorful, imaginative way.

Satire. Satire is so prevalent in pop culture that most of us are already very familiar with it, even if we don’t always realize it. Satire is an often-humorous way of poking fun at the powers that be. Sometimes, it is created with the goal to drive social change. Satire can be part of any work of culture, art, or entertainment—it has a long history, and it is as relevant today as it was in ancient Rome.

Situational Irony. Irony: it’s clear as mud. Theorists quibble about the margins of what constitutes irony, but situational irony is all around us—from humorous news headlines to the shock twists in a book or TV show. This type of irony is all about the gap between our expectations and reality, and it can make a memorable and powerful impression when we encounter it.

Suspense. No matter what type of story you’re telling, suspense is a valuable tool for keeping a reader’s attention and interest. Building suspense involves withholding information and raising key questions that pique readers’ curiosity. Character development plays a big role in generating suspense; for example, if a character’s desire is not fulfilled by the end of the book, the story will not feel complete for the reader.

Symbolism. An object, concept, or word does not have to be limited to a single meaning. When you see red roses growing in a garden, what comes to mind? Perhaps you think literally about the rose—about its petals, stem, and thorns, or even about its stamen and pistil as a botanist might. But perhaps your mind goes elsewhere and starts thinking about topics like romance, courtship, and Valentine’s Day. Why would you do this? The reason, of course, is that over the course of many generations, a rose’s symbolic meaning has evolved to include amorous concepts.

Verisimilitude. Verisimilitude (pronounced ve-ri-si-mi-li-tude) is a theoretical concept that determines the semblance of truth in an assertion or hypothesis. It is also an essential tenet of fiction writing. Verisimilitude helps to encourage a reader’s willing suspension of disbelief. When using verisimilitude in writing, the goal is to be credible and convincing.

Vignette. A writer’s job is to engage readers through words. Vignettes—poetic slices-of-life—are a literary device that brings us deeper into a story. Vignettes step away from the action momentarily to zoom in for a closer examination of a particular character, concept, or place. Writers use vignettes to shed light on something that wouldn’t be visible in the story’s main plot.

I’ll make a post going into each of them individually in more detail later on!

Like, reblog and comment if you find this useful! If you share on Instagram tag me perpetualstories

Follow me on tumblr and Instagram for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[be-gay-do-heists]

hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption

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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul

When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.

The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.

I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.

Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:

“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”

I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.

So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?

I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam. 

Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.

With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:

It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)

Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.

Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!

------

(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.

(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.

(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).

(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/. 

(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.

(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16

(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”

[eatyourchancletas]

SUMMARY |  y/n l/n; the trauma surgeon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is taken hostage by the terrifying mafia known as ateez. despite their situations, love arises between the doctor and san; but when an enemy comes in between the group, breaking trust and belief between the members, what will san choose to save; his newfound love or his brothers?

PAIRING | choi san x male reader

INFO/CATEGORY | mafia au, fluff, light angst

WARNINGS | violence, weapon usage/mention, foul language, lower case writing

[chapter index] [playlist] [previous chapter]

AUTHOR’S NOTE | we’re back! sorry for the long break, hopefully we can get into the flow of things! monnie’s already started chapter 5 off amazingly too :p written by both of us this time (mainly edited by monnie)! please leave feedback, like, reblog, whatever you can to let us know whether you enjoyed it or not!  (re-edited because dongwoo and changsik were switched up)

WORD COUNT | 2.4k

TAG LIST :; @jonghoshoe​  if you’d like to be added to the list please say so in our inbox/ask box!

y/n was usually called outstanding, hard-working, smart. but in reality, he was an idiot when he was outside the workforce. 

being a workaholic meant showing your skills, growing them, improving them, and practicing them constantly. sometimes it seemed to be all he knew— it’s what all the people around him saw. 

yet again, outside of it he’s quite a gullible man; which brings him to his current situation… 

“looking for something?” 

he looked away from the bandages he was previously examining to come face to face with a man that looked around his age. “not really, just restocking my clinic. or—trying to find things to restock it with.” the man nods, glancing around suspiciously, although y/n didn’t didn’t seem to take notice of this particular action. 

“this pharmacy is pretty small, but it has lots of good supplies… lots of hidden gems. want me to show you where i get my tools?”

“oh,” y/n blinked in surprise, “you’re in the medical field?”

the man made eye contact with him, managing a convincing smile. “yeah, there’s a clinic down the road from here, about fifteen minutes by foot, this is the nearest pharmacy, so we stock up from here most of the time. i work there as an assistant.”

y/n nodded, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “wow, then please! show me what you suggest.”

at the approval, the man nodded, “name’s changsik, by the way. what do you work as? i’m assuming you’re also in the medical field.”

they walked along the aisle of the cough syrups, ointments, and the few other medicines to turn and make their way to the exit door. y/n furrowed his brows, about to ask why they were exiting until changsik made another turn, walking towards the staff room. 

“your assumption is correct, i’m a surgeon…” he replied belatedly, trailing off as he stepped foot inside the room. his eyes trailed on the shelves full of unopened boxes, more prescription pills, and—bingo! the supplies he’d written down on his list. 

for a split second, the memory of san handing it to him flashes across his mind, blinking it away as he turned to changsik. “wait, how are you able to access this?”

“i’m a regular.” he glanced across at him, looking past the window. “and also the perks of having a pharmaceutical license,” a hefty laugh left his mouth, “took some convincing though.” 

“huh,” y/n squatted down, inspecting a box that was on the floor, “i guess that makes sense.”

“just put what you need in a box and take it out. i’ll just say you’re helping me take it back.” changsik smiled, watching y/n nod and do so.

after a few minutes, y/n finished and announced he was ready to check out. changsik’s eyes met one of the cctv cameras before settling on y/n. 

“alright, let’s go check out.” 

as they walked toward the front, they reached the hallway that led to the exit. just as y/n was going to walk past, toward the checkout counter, a hand forcefully grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. he looked behind him, in a startled manner, thinking changsik had just forgotten something. however, a deeper fear struck when changsik’s hand moved to clench at the back of his collar. 

“don’t make a sound.”

the second the cold blade touched the skin of y/n’s neck, the surgeon knew to stay quiet. there was a burning in his throat as he struggled to swallow, scared to trigger any abrupt movement. his frantic mind jumbled about, words of scolding placed toward himself and the situation while trying to get a grip. he thought of using the in-ear to alert jongho, but it would risk exposure of the communication device: in any case… he’d be dead by then.

“what is taking him so long?” jongho grunted, tapping his foot in impatience. it’d already been about 10 minutes since y/n entered the store—it shouldn’t take that long for a surgieron to find equipment that’s of medicinal standard!

tapping his in-ear and calling out the doctor’s name, he got no response. placing his face mask on, he rushed into the store, beckoning the cashier. “have you seen a man, about 6’3” with h/c hair?”

the cashier stared at him with a shocked look, “yes, but he went back toward the restrooms. is he dangerous?”

jongho shook his head before running toward the back of the store. he shoved against the restroom door, shouting out the older’s name as he threw open each stall door. finally admitting the fact that the older had disappeared, he tapped his in-ear once more, calling out for anyone.

“jongho, what’s going on?” hongjoong had intercepted the connection, hearing jongho’s worried voice.

the bodyguard had no time to register the primal fear that would settle itself in his bones once faced with the leader, “it’s y/n, hyung. he ran away.” 

jongho returned to the headquarters after scoping out the area once more and had just entered through the front door when he was met with the sight of the whole group. 

hongjoong was staring at him with his jaw clenched and an almost empty whiskey glass settled in his lax hand. jongho had never seen a look so severe in hongjoong’s eyes—he’d never messed up this bad. and apparently, the leader wasn’t the only one emotionally affected by his mistake, because before hongjoong could even physically express his own anger, san had snatched the glass from his hand and launched it at jongho, missing his head by less than an inch.

everyone was shocked at his silent outburst, san even going as far to ignore the immense pain in his abdomen and on his shoulder, but hongjoong simply sent the younger a look, causing him to cower back in the slightest. jongho, however, was enraged at what had just happened. what gave san, who had no superiority over him, the right to do that?

“what the fuck was that?” he had stormed over to the boy, grabbing his shirt with both fists. san didn’t back down, sticking his jaw out toward the youngest.

“how could you lose y/n?”

“i was told no matter what to avoid cameras, so i stayed outside! i didn’t exactly think the fucker would have the balls to run away!” 

everyone watched the two, eyeing when to step in and pull them apart. but hongjoong let them run their mouths. the longer someone talks, the more something is revealed. what he was looking to be revealed, he didn’t know; but something would come up.

san pushed back against jongho, “y/n hyung wouldn’t run away. he’d never do that!” 

‘oh,’ hongjoong perked in interest.

the younger scoffed, “what makes you so sure?”

san’s next words came as a bit of a shock, leaving the others with silent questions, “he promised he’d come back.”

bingo!

an awkward silence filled the room as they all stared, speechless at how hopelessly fond their brother had become for their hostage. as much as some of them hated to admit it, y/n was only a hostage to them at the end of the day. and for san to fall into a reversal stockholm syndrome of sorts was nothing short of  a disappointment. however, that couldn’t be the main focus, y/n was missing and they didn’t know how strong his resolve would be in the event of torturing.

“run us back on what happened, will you?” hongjoong told jongho, trying to get a clear picture on what went down because the first thing they needed to know was why y/n was taken, much less, who took him. was it by the same person who’d been running their mouths in the streets? 

and right in the middle of his explanation, an alarm went off on yeosang’s phone; it was a message. the others kept talking, figuring yeosang could handle whatever message he’d received. 

it was when he promptly stood up that all attention had been placed on him. 

“it’s him! it’s dongwoo!”

a soft whimper sounded as y/n was thrown to the ground, hands bound and eyes blinded by some piece of cloth.

“boss,” y/n’s kidnapper spoke in a submissive wave, causing y/n to assume the guy had straightened his spine and was saluting him in some way.

a moment later, a gruff voice broke through the eerie silence in the room, “and who is this?” his voice wasn’t angered or bewildered at all, and that’s what scared y/n. he sounded intrigued; like even he wasn’t expecting to be a part of this situation.

“someone with connections to ateez— saw that bodyguard walking around with him.” 

the other man hummed, “the bodyguard didn’t follow you, did he?”

“no, no. i found them by the pharmacy; i know the area pretty well because i do the runs for sowon— i knew the camera blindspots!” his abductor seemed to be a bit on the simpler side when it came to this “boss” of his, y/n concluded. this was a completely different personality than when he was being abducted at the scene…

“good job. and you know what, changsik-ah,” his voice seemed to be getting more intrigued, y/n’s heart beating even faster in response, “since you bought in such a valuable hostage, i’ll let you have the honors of obtaining information from him.”

y/n felt the air beside him shift, changsik bowing a full 90 degrees at his boss’s blessing, “thank you!”

a sickeningly hearty laugh resonated and the creaking of a chair sounded before the boss’s next words seemed to be the final straw for y/n’s pounding heart.

“i want him alive.” 

“he better be alive,” san growled at jongho.

“we might get to him alive if you two would quit bickering. we’re wasting time because of you two, so shut it and sit down!” hongjoong had had enough of the two. he knew it was a sensitive time for san and jongho, different reasons for both, of course, but they would only get nowhere if they weren’t level-headed.

the two boys bowed their heads at their leader, san still sending a side-eyed glare at the younger before sitting down in his chair. 

it’d been two days since y/n was kidnapped and they still hadn’t been able to come up with a plan to get y/n back. 

wooyoung tried to trace where the text message came from within the first minute it was received, but surprise, surprise! it was a burner phone— so back to square one; checking all of the cctv footage in the area and trying to spot a suspect that wasn’t even visible from the first frame. 

the cameras in the pharmacy showed only y/n, the pharmacist, clerk, and four other customers. of those four, only one person never entered through the front door. and within those 48 hours, he’d managed to single out a vehicle that had arrived in the frame of one of the street cams showing the alleyway behind the pharmacy, and left the same way not even 5 minutes later. it was a suspicious vehicle too; white van, no windows in the back, and paper license plates. the paper plates hinted that they were most likely changed recently or are changed frequently.

and so after hours of having to witness his best friend be so uncharacteristically frantic and down, wooyoung, unfortunately, decided to do what he thought was smartest—save y/n himself to make his best friend happy again.

his intentions may have been well, but in stories like these, doesn’t something always go wrong?

“help me set the table guys,” seonghwa cleared his throat, hand on his hip as he stirred the soup on the stove. the steam from the boiling liquid sent another cloud to his tired face, a sheen of sweat and condensation forming.

“i really don’t understand why we are acting like we have the time to set a table and eat home cooked meals when we don’t!” san exasperated, pacing around the dining room. 

mingi gave a sympathetic smile, patting him on the back before going to help seonghwa. 

while mingi was more on the understanding side of san’s worries, jongho disagreed, “how exactly do you expect us to find him if we don’t take care of ourselves?”

“all i’m saying is food and sleep shouldn’t be this consistently on your minds when we’re all in this situation!”

jongho scoffed, finding the utmost absurdities in san’s words, “why are you acting like he’s so important? he doesn’t know anything about us or our weaknesses— for fuck’s sake, it’s not like we can’t just get another doc—”

a fist had flown toward jongho’s cheek, cutting off his words, before san’s thrashing body was being pulled back by mingi and yeosang.

“go to hell choi jongho!” san screamed, trying to force his way through the barrier the two had made with their bodies. the boy could feel his stitches tearing as he fought, but he didn’t care. jongho had been a bitch since the very first moment y/n was around, and for what reason?

“cut it out, san!” yeosang hollered, voice brute as he pushed against the boy.

“no, let me at him. he wants to keep being a little shit, i’ll show him shitty!”

“stop it! you haven’t even noticed, have you?”

san didn’t stop trying to break the barrier, focusing on getting to jongho and the other’s words, “notice what?”

“wooyoung’s missing,” yeosang began, san whipping his head toward him and trying to disagree, but yeosang was having none of it, “and you haven’t done anything but antagonize everyone here for not doing their jobs at your pace!”

“oh, excuse me for trying to be as quick as possible in finding him!”

“yeah, and who ever said quick was the efficient route to go? we’re dealing with people we know nothing about, but they seem to know a little too much about us, no? so stop getting on everyone’s asses and—”

“shut the hell up! please!” seonghwa had slammed his hands down on the table, screaming at the top of his lungs. every person in the room had immediately gone silent, words left on the tips of their tongues in a desperate attempt to fly about.

“you’re all going to shut it, sit down, and eat this meal like the civilized people we are and come up with a plan to get y/n back as safely as possible,” he gave a quick glare at everyone, blowing a puff of air at the lock of hair that had settled over his eyelids.

“am i clear?”

"yes, sir."

[honestlyawriter]

Scary Movies

Author’s Note:

Hello!

Full disclosure. I wrote this in less than an hour after feeling really unproductive and I am not going to apologize for it. I think it turned out pretty okay, all things considering. I really hope that you like it! Because I’m always happy to write some fluffy stuff. (Hurray for fluffy stuff!)

As always, please let me know if you made it all the way to the end. Feedback will help me grow as a creator!

Stay awesome!

Title: Scary Movies

Summary: You’re alone at home, and the day has been less than amazing. You sit down to watch a movie, and eventually realize that you’ve made a mistake.

Word Count: 810

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Warnings: Fluff.

Rainstorms, hot coco, and a container of cookie dough had been the only things that could possibly make this day better. You had not had a productive day at work, your hobbies were eluding you, and you had felt like warm garbage for the majority of the day. When you hadn’t felt like warm garbage, you’d felt like cold garbage which was arguably a little better. On top of everything, Gojo wasn’t supposed to be home for two more days and you were spiraling.

Maybe, you had reasoned, you could curl up in one of his shirts and some fluffy pajama bottoms and watch something on TV. Maybe that would make you feel a little bit better, because you had forced yourself to interact like a proper adult but now you were emotionally drained and you no longer wanted to be part of the world. You deserved some self-care that didn’t involve being concerned with making yourself feel better because sometimes you wanted to feel a little bit like a potato.

If Gojo saw you like this, you were sure that you would die a little bit inside. Not because he would think you were something disgusting, but because he would probably take about fifteen pictures and tell you that you looked divine. He was too much sometimes, but you appreciated the effort.

You had turned on a movie after browsing for longer than you had wanted to. You had turned off all the lights, so that when you fell asleep to some dumb movie you didn’t have to worry about every light in the house being on, and then you started watching the movie. It hadn’t seemed like it would be that scary, but then again, movies sometimes resonated on a different frequency when you were alone. At home. By yourself.

The movie started and you were enraptured, wrapped up in the biggest, fluffiest blanket that you owned. The killer was coming, and you could hear the creaks of the old building that you lived in. The sounds of the city, the rustle of the trees outside, the ticking of the wall clock that Gojo had insisted on having. Your heart was in your throat; why had that idiot gone in there?! Why was it always the bathroom?! You were debating closing your eyes, your fists tightly balled as the door swung open and light flooded into the house.

You screamed and it was the most unholy thing. You threw the cookie dough, luckily your cup of coco was empty because you’d thrown it at whoever had opened the door, tangling yourself up in the blanket as you threw yourself on the ground with a desperate vigor.

Your ankle twisted as the blanket tightened and the coffee table was precariously pulled toward you. The coffee table teetered for a breathless moment before it settled back down, deciding not to crush you further under its weight. Your breathing was coming out in desperate gasps when you heard the most delighted laugher erupting from the doorway. It was hysterical laugher. The kind of laughter that kept you from breathing and made your side aches.

You looked up as confusion mixed with fear and then slowly was overtaken by embarrassment. Gojo was standing in the doorway, doubled over. Take-out bags on the ground and your cup in his hand. You curled up and tried to caterpillar away when a sharp pain shot up your leg and into your hip. You yelped and Gojo stopped laughing.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Despite the lack of laughter, he was still smiling, bright eyes shining in the dim light of the TV.

“Shut up.” You tried to get away again, but was trying to favor the hurt ankle, “You aren’t supposed to be home.”

“Would you rather I leave?” He asked in a sing song voice. Walking towards you with a long, deliberate stride. He only walked towards you like that when he meant business.

“No, but you could have texted!”

“I did.” he was unwrapping you from the blanket, being careful not to jostle your ankle during the process.

“But my phone,” You looked at the phone that you had knocked off the table, remembering that you had meant to plug it in, “is probably dead.” You sighed.

“I know. I tried calling to, but you didn’t answer. I thought you might have been in the shower or something.” He pouted as he continued to examine your ankle, “I was hoping to surprise you.”

You grunted, “Consider me surprised.”

He laughed again, and then moved the coffee table, scooping you up delicately and depositing you on the couch gently. “Let’s get that elevated and I’ll get the ice.”

You groaned but smiled a little.

You might have been hurt, and you might have been annoyed, but you were always happy to have Gojo back home.

[guileheroine]

Omg struggling! Got character counted in the comments so I’ll paste here:

Wow this was beyond - thank you so much for the thoughtful and thorough response! I am absolutely signing up for your lecture series lol. All of this helps calcify some vague thoughts I’ve had as a reader but never put into practice as a writer so thank you for laying out a framework about what/why you tackle the stories that you do. I do feel like I’m missing out on the majority of fun from not resonating with so much of what people seem to be excited about(!) but this really helps separate the reader/writer insomuch as writing AUs with the level of thoughtfulness you describe here is an excellent way of engaging with the characters and the themes of a work as a critical challenge. Laying out the different aspects of Korra’s character that you built your stories around is a lightbulb moment for me because it obviously comes through in your stories but seeing it spelled out in this way gives me so much inspiration on how to frame a story and where to push and pull, while still staying true to the values, themes, and abilities of the characters. AUs sit in that really interesting space for me between source-extension and examination and OC fiction and it’s a delicate balance to try and hit that sweet spot in a satisfying way. I think where you excel is not only just technical writing proficiency but creating an AU story that feels like it has something to actually say about the source material in an emotionally resonant way! Honestly thank you so much for taking the time for this I have a lot more thoughts to process but I’m really excited to have this to refer to! <3

i'm really happy you found it helpful, your ask definitely helped me consider my own approach more consciously too! and thank you again ;_; humbled bc when i'm actually writing it's truly 85% vibes

btw you hit the nail on the head with your description of AUs here, i think the tension/negotiation inherent in translation of any kind is also why i can't let them go as a concept even though 99% of what i see is whatever (i've been doing actual translation lately and it's incredibly hard but also one of the crunchiest things you can ask your brain to do??) one thing i actually do wish is that we saw more setting-based AUs rather than the uber specific 1:1 tropes/templates, whether in fic or art, bc again they let the characters lead (e.g. when i see 'star wars AU' i'd much rather it be an interpretation of what the character would be like in star wars land rather than, say, korra in the costume (literal or narratively) of rey. that could not be less interesting to me but yeah soo much of technically excellent fanwork is like this!) i wish characters weren't treated indiscriminately as vessels for [insert any scenario] but that's almost getting into a broader point about fanon in general and i def acknowledge my personal bar for what's OOC is quite easy to clear

so yeah fully empathise on feeling like you're missing out on the fun because of stuff not resonating with you. and i'd love to hear any more thoughts you might have once you're done processing lol <3

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Why The Early Pokémon Anime Was So Important To Its Audience

  The '90s was a big decade for anime. Iconic series like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Cowboy Bebop were born, shows that are still presented as the gold standard of what the medium can achieve. Studio Ghibli continued their string of soon-to-be classics, helping to cement Hayao Miyazaki into a globally-recognized “auteur” status, a title usually reserved for the creators of live-action fare. Meanwhile, Dragon Ball Z, Gundam Wing, and others made their debut on the programming block Toonami, effectively introducing anime to an entire generation of Americans who may have otherwise never been exposed to it. 

  But what about the importance of Pokémon? That was pretty big, too, right?

    Obviously, the status of the Pokémon anime as it relates to Pokémon as a whole is clear. There has perhaps never been a franchise with more coherent brand synergy, none better at directing traffic so fans of one aspect could be easily guided to another. Aided by an almost supernaturally compelling catchphrase “Gotta catch ‘em all!,” the uncertain development and angst surrounding the first set of titles in the core game series Red and Blue were quickly left in the rearview mirror. Pokémon is seemingly an undefeatable pop culture hydra with the anime serving as one of its many heads.

  So how does Pokémon fit in the grand scheme of anime and what it can give to us? Because with all of that in mind, it’s hard not to look at it with a kind of cynicism, viewing it less as a fictional series with all the pros and cons that come with it, and more as an advertisement for itself and other parts of the franchise that has lasted over 20 years. However, I believe the Pokémon anime can be, depending on the specific section, very good at times. And though the explosion of “Pokemania,” as it was dubbed when the franchise landed in the United States, seemed to render it as an extended commercial urging kids to get their parents to buy them a Game Boy as soon as the "PokeRap" finished, I think the early parts of the series are particularly strong. 

    Because while the anime has formed a kind of cyclical pattern in its storytelling, one that allows newcomers to easily latch onto the series whenever they happen to discover it, I think the portions set in Kanto and Johto are extremely cool to examine. The space from the first time Ash Ketchum wakes up too late to grab one of the three “starter” Pokémon from Professor Oak to the time he says goodbye to Misty and Brock at the crossroads following the Silver Conference contains a really touching narrative. One about growing up and learning to rely on others and then, eventually, learning to rely on yourself.

  When we first meet Ash, he can barely keep things together. He’s desperate to be a Pokémon Master, but clueless when it comes to most of the techniques involved in actually doing that. He’s stubborn, but his confidence often reveals itself to be brittle bravado, a ten-year-old puffing his chest out only to be deflated when overtaken by an obstacle. His travel partners, Misty and Brock (and Tracey Sketchit for a little while,) obviously adore him, but their greatest shared trait is likely patience. Ash has a lot of learning to do.

    This learning is usually slow and painstaking. Critics of the series are often quick to point out that Ash rarely wins his gym battles outright, something that’s a requirement to progress in the games the series is based on. Thus, more important than a solid KO is the lesson learned due to the battle, often something centered around taking care of your Pokémon, yourself, and other people. The “monster of the week” structure usually has Ash learning these lessons again and again, like a child that needs to be politely reprimanded until they fall out of a bad habit.

  As the series moves from Kanto to the Johto region, Ash gains legitimate wins with higher frequency, gathering experience while his style remains eager, clumsy, and definitively Ash. His rivalry with Gary Oak — one initially informed by Ash’s seeming inadequacy and Gary’s loud, yet often precise assurance — evens out. At the end of the Indigo League in the Kanto region, Ash finally gets to battle Gary and loses. Then, in the Johto League tournament, Ash defeats Gary and the two make amends thanks to Ash’s defeat of his bully and Gary’s newfound serenity. It’s a nice payoff to their relationship, and Gary’s change of heart reflects the themes of personal growth found in the Original Series.

  Meanwhile, Ash’s personal growth often comes with much more heartache. In “Bye Bye Butterfree,” he bids farewell to his first-ever caught monster because it would be happier with its own kind. A few episodes later, in “Pikachu’s Goodbye,” he seems all too ready to let Pikachu live with a pack of the little yellow critters, likely because his experience with Butterfree indicated that it was the right thing to do. Of course, Pikachu comes back to him, because he’s Ash’s ride or die.

    Another relationship Ash learns from is the one with Charizard. Evolved from an abandoned and emotionally distraught Charmander, Charizard is rebellious to the extent that it causes Ash’s Indigo League loss, not because it gets knocked out but because it just doesn’t feel like fighting anymore. What follows is one of the most disheartening scenes in the series, with Ash shouting in anger and sadness at his Charizard to continue while Charizard just doesn’t respect his trainer enough to stand up. Though they eventually gain a sense of mutual reverence, their partnership is marked by this uncertainty.

  And finally, the ending, which sees Ash, Misty, and Brock go their separate ways, recalls one of the franchise’s most resonant homages, that of the '80s film Stand By Me. Referenced in the opening moments of the first game, the movie about setting off on your own adventure as a youth and learning where nostalgia ends and the harshness of growing up begins mirrors the ethos of the franchise constantly. At the end of that film, the characters depart one another and the main protagonist muses to himself, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”

  You can get the same feeling from the affirmations of the importance of their friendship Ash, Brock, and Misty make when they head off on their own (though Brock quickly re-joins Ash in the next season of the anime). It’s here that Pokémon displays why it deserves its place among the notable anime of the '90s, not because of its massive marketing push (though that certainly helped its popularity) and not because of how it retold the story of the games (which, as adaptations go, is pretty hit or miss).

.

  Instead, it’s a story about growing up. By the end of Ash’s time in Johto, it becomes clear that strength was never the objective, that the point of the whole affair was not Ash becoming a "Master." It was about teaching Ash enough so that when the time came for him to go out on his own, he could. And though he finds new companions in the regions to come pretty quickly, the impact of this is not diminished. If you began watching the show when it first appeared in America in 1998, you likely grew up with Ash to an extent, and you likely experienced some major life events during that time, whether it was going to a new school or facing some kind of family change or attempting to achieve some new, grand goal. 

Ash and the Pokémon anime’s message was that you could do it. That the trials you’d experienced and the lessons you’d learned and the relationships you’d made had prepared you for it. And that while the future seems scary and unknowable, it isn’t insurmountable. Pokémon teaches you that you’ll be okay. That sounds pretty important to me.

      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

  By: Daniel Dockery

[a-redqueenofthewolves-love]

Allan Taylor:

"I remember when I was doing Season 1 and we were on location in Malta, and George R. R. Martin came to visit. He was sitting in a chair, and he was being really quite open about things that were to come," Taylor told Deadline. "... he alluded to the fact that Jon and Dany were the point, kind of. That, at the time, there was a huge, vast array of characters, and Jon was a lowly, you know, bastard son. So it wasn’t clear to us at the time, but he did sort of say things that made it clear that the meeting and the convergence of Jon and Dany were sort of the point of the series."

What everyone believes that means is this: Ice and Fire is really about Jon and Dany’s epic love story and how “together” they unite their forces and save the world from impending doom.

But... I don’t think that’s where this story is going.

I think Allan Taylor was right when he said that the convergence of Dany and Jon are the point, but not in the way that most fans want it to be. 

Bryan Cogman:

“It’s an incredibly emotional, haunting, bittersweet final season, and I think it honors very much what George set out to do — which is flipping this kind of story on its head.”

source: (x)

What does that mean? Flipping this story on its head? What has Martin set out to do with his story?

George R.R. Martin :

I don’t want to write about a band of heroes on one side,

 and the orcs on the other.

No. My characters are not black or white, like the traditional fantasy cliché. I don’t have the typical white side, with very good people,

and the bad side, composed by ugly and evil people who only wear black clothes.

And you read that certain kind of fiction where the guy will always get the girl 

and the good guys win 

and it reaffirms to you that life is fair. We all want that at times there’s a certain vicarious release to that. So I’m not dismissive of people who want that. But that’s not the kind of fiction I write. It’s certainly not what Ice and Fire is…

(George says it once )

I’ve been always very impressed by Homer and his Iliad, especially the scene of the fight between Achilles and Hector...

(twice)

I think one of the themes of the book is the examination of heroism,” said Martin. “I have always been fascinated with [the idea], the villain is the hero of the other side. The great fight in the Illiad between Achilles and Hector is in some ways my model more so than fights between a hero and villain traditionally are. What constitutes a hero? Is a hero always a hero?”

(three times)

The fight between Achilles and Hector also, you know, resonates for me and is something that I wanted to draw upon where you have two heroes fighting.

Who is the hero and who is the villain? 

That’s the power of the story and I wanted something similar to my books. 

- George R.R. Martin

Why is it the power of the story?

Because perspective is everything. 

What we have here is the convergence of two well-loved characters with different worldviews with whom we’ve been emotionally invested in. No one wants to see them at odds. But it’s only by putting them at odds that it forces the readers and the viewers to re-evaluate these characters and question their choices and then eventually be put in a position where they will have to choose a side. 

As Martin says, “ There are very few paragons and there are very few orcs. The villain is the hero to another side.” Externalizing the struggle between good and evil (heroes vs orcs) diminishes the power of that message.

Now whether or not the show will do these intricate themes justice is a different matter, but they’d be foolish to lose out on the opportunity to flip this story on its head and mess with fans expectations. 

What we do know is that many members of the cast and crew said the ending will cause a divide.

sources:

Grrm Interviews  (x)  (x) (x) (x) (x)

Disclaimer: None of these photos are mine but the gifs are. I don’t know who made the photos. Some are from Pinterest and other sources like (bing.com). If they are yours, by all means, claim them.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Exit Rave: The Light in Your Eyes

This is one of those dramas that is extremely difficult to review well without spoiling at least certain aspects of the plot. But I'm going to try to do so anyway, because I really think it's best to go into this drama with as little information as possible. For that reason, the drama is largely spoiler free but inevitably a bit vague...

More frequently in my past couple of years watching dramas I've found that the shows with off-beat and quirky plot synopses and without a lot of hype around them, dramas that aren't necessarily on my radar, that come to me almost by accident, end up being the ones that have the biggest impact on me. Just Between Lovers and Matrimonial Chaos were two such dramas, and The Light in Your Eyes (aka Eyes are Dazzling, Radiant) now makes another.

I don't have a source for this, but I've heard that TLIYE was written as a tribute to veteran actress Kim Hye Ja, which is why the main character of the drama shares the star's name. Already, this puts the drama on a unique footing that made me look twice at it. The drama was sold to me on being a supernatural romantic comedy, and ended up being a sometimes hilarious, sometimes strikingly heartbreaking rumination on aging, mortality, regret and self-acceptance.

Both Han Ji Min and Kim Hye Ja portray the character Kim Hye Ja, at 25 and 75 respectively. While Han Ji Min is not a Dramaland newcomer by any means, I have not been familiar with her work before this drama. And while I did thoroughly enjoy her performance, I felt some bias toward actress Kim Hye Ja's scenes, as she gets to do the lion's share of the emotional heavy lifting and the drama is clearly written with the older actress in mind. The drama feels very much like a vehicle for Kim Hye Ja to really showcase her considerable talents and range.

Other people have talked about this at length and I've mentioned it in short posts and tags, but I go back and forth on Nam Joo Hyuk as an actor. He's got a very boy-next-door kind of charm to him, and it's been put to use effectively in some other dramas (most notably in Weightlifting Fairy). But he's no acting chameleon. He needs to be thoughtfully cast and directed to be at his best. However, I do feel that this drama marks a major step forward in his acting ability. He played the absolute hell out of Joon Ha, a character who had some truly heartrending scenes and surprising depth, and it was a pleasure watching him.

As far as the writing is concerned, I think TLIYE has a greater sense of emotional continuity than plot consistency. Which is another way of saying this is a feel first, think second kind of drama, that perhaps doesn't make 100% narrative sense if examined too closely. And yet the rhetorical and emotional resonance was very real to me, and I don't want to understate that. I have not gone back to the early episodes to rewatch them and see if the "big twist" at the end actually scans with the beginning of this drama or not. And I don't really have any intention of doing so. Whether the ending was planned from the very beginning or came out of a decision during the production process, I have no desire to ruin the emotional experience of the dramas ending by over-analyzing it for plot holes--despite this blog's name. That being said, this is one of those dramas that would either benefit from a second viewing or have the experience utterly ruined by it, and I'll leave that for you to decide for yourself.

I thought the beginning of the drama was great, when I was taking it at face value, and I thought it was emotionally satisfying when I got to the big turn at the end and realized that things were not as straightforward as I had believed. Depending on how much you resonate with this flawed cast of characters and how comfortable you are with bitter-sweet twist endings, you might really enjoy this drama or you might not like it at all. It's a special little show that's not for everybody. It has occasional tone problems, and as I've alluded, can be a bit confusing at times. Still, this drama was fresh, unusual and made me both laugh out loud and shed tears. For that I have to give it 8.5/10.

[killingevedaily]

Killing Eve's Winter TCA panel

*spoilers ahead*

In the sneak peek, Eve reconnects with her handler Carolyn on a park bench and admits she went to find Villanelle in Paris (Carolyn: “What’s her flat like?” Eve: “Chic as s–t”), while a fleeing Villanelle recovers from her stabbing, pouring vodka on her knife wound. She ends up in a hospital, telling her fellow patient that a woman stabbed her. “Women don’t stab,” the boy says. “It surprised me, too,” Villanelle replies, adding that “she did it to show me how much she cares about me.” We also see flashes of Villanelle stabbing a new victim and wearing crazy new outfits… before she and Eve end up on opposite sides of a door once again.

Emerald Fennel didn't work on the first season but is showrunning the second. She came on board before the season came out so the explosion of joy and attention started after they were already working on the second season.

Sandra Oh says that Emerald and Phoebe Waller-Bridge have been friends for a long time and have a similar sensibility. "Emerald has her own voice entirely but it really moved from one hand to a similar hand."

Jodie Comer says "Villanelle's reaction to Eve stabbing her and how emotionally she perceives that" is interesting because neither of them are quite expecting that action.

"I think you see them vulnerable in slightly different ways. They've crossed a line and there's kind of no going back. We have a lot of energy at the beginning...and that pushes both of them into a different place of vulnerability," Sandra Oh.  

Neither Sandra Oh nor Jodie Comer want to share on what they draw for the tense moments between their characters because they are such personal things. Also Oh notes that it's hard to remember where they were a year ago when filming to articulate it now.

"I always viewed her as an actress. She does her homework and she learns her lines, and she's very proud and wants to do a good job," Jodie Comer says of how she sees her character.

For Jodie Comer, the “complexity and versatility” of the characters is what keeps things interesting. “It’s written by a woman who understands all of this and it’s so visible in the writing. It’s so much fun to play. It’s a real gift,” she said.

"How can you come to terms with a relationship that seems to be impossible? That's what I think we're trying to figure out daily," Sandra Oh.

Emerald Fennel says this show is "much more particular" about costumes than many others because "Villanelle fetishizes clothes." It's something she relates to personally, but they have an "amazing team" who brings "amazing stuff to us."

You have to be specific w/ Villanelle's clothing, from PJs to the moment she puts on Crocs in the second season. While clothes have been thought of as frivolous in the past, "we all know, as women, how powerful clothes can be as a weapon"

In the first two episodes, Villanelle is in a very vulnerable setting,  Sandra Oh notes, and after she moves out of that we'll see how much clothes mean to her.

The second season of the show will also expand outward a bit to consider the possibility that there is another assassin in the mix. While the Eve and Villanelle relationship will always be the core of the show, Emerald Fennel said that “what is really interesting is saying, ‘What do we do when somebody else comes along?’ Is Eve an assassin expert or is she a Villanelle expert? And what does that mean for her, for Carolyn, for her job?'”

Why did Killing Eve become a hit? Sandra Oh turns the table & asks the critics: "We're in it, we're making as best as we can... You watch everything!" Why did it resonate, she asks. Co-star Fiona Shaw's theory: "This series nails that nobody has a clue what happens next!"

Fiona Shaw about Jodie Comer: "Jodie is a chameleon. She could turn into a lizard tomorrow."

“I think it’s also the placement of the humor within the show — the way it undercuts the really serious moments is genius,” Jodie Comer said.

"The humor is the open door," Sandra Oh notes of what makes Killing Eve stand out. "Humor is the door that's easier for people to pass through." Adds EP Sally Woodward-Gentle: "The freedom to being naughty. What Villanelle does is a bit of wish fullfillment."

Jodie Comer on the show's success bringing out others who want to be a part of it: "We have people who want to be a part of the show and want to be killed!'

Sandra Oh on Killing Eve impact: "It was amazing to be making a show and doing exactly what Time's Up is trying to do and trying to bring. And feeling the wave... our show examining and taking the female psyche seriously... that's what I feel aligned by."

The same is true for Emerald Fennel, who pointed out that as women working in this business, “we’re used to being the cement and men are the bricks. We’re used to filling in the cracks — we take in the space and make it work. [But] on a show like this we’re the bricks.” 

[Sources: Sneak peek from TVLine, Tweets from Danielle Turchiano @ danielletbd and Michael Scheider @ franklinavenue, 9 Feb 2019]

[captaincrowe]

Musings on the Emotionalism of “Rosa”

I usually don’t make long posts like this, but I’ve been thinking about Rosa almost nonstop since I watched it. I braced myself for it emotionally beforehand and yet still, somehow, the raw emotionalism it inspired and the stark reality it conveyed still managed to hit me like a bus in ways I didn’t expect. And I don’t know. I’ve seen people saying that the episode was too tame to feel like Doctor Who, but there was an undeniable beauty to the emotionalism of this episode that’s difficult to put into words.

But you know what? I kind of want to try.

(My rambling attempts to convey why I love this episode under the cut.)

As both a content consumer and creator, I’ve always been drawn to those stories that are emotionally hard-hitting in a way that feels organic. Not the slap in the face of a character death or the failure of good to prevail despite its best efforts, but more of the quiet little “oh” that comes from the realization that what’s happening on the screen or page exists off of it, as well. The experiences being played out aren’t exclusive to the characters in the way that things like character deaths or other intentionally emotional scenes tend to be. They have real-world substance.

And they’re not entirely sad either.

These types of stories offer a mix of positive and negative emotions that resonate far more than something purely happy or purely sad or purely infuriating or purely inspiring ever could. These mixed emotions cause the audience to keep thinking about the story long after it’s over.

Rosa clearly has this effect, if my dash is anything to go by.

People are talking about it. People are reacting to it in multiple ways simultaneously, sometimes even within the same post.

You’re upset by the injustice.

You’re proud of Rosa’s strength.

You’re saddened by her struggle.

You’re touched that she is remembered.

You’re angered because it should have inspired greater change.

You’re emboldened to face injustice and take a stand.

Not all of these are positive. Not all of these are negative. But they are intertwined in a way that keeps you jumping between the emotions and thinking honestly about both the episode itself and the world we live in. The episode brings these emotions to the surface and forces the audience to examine those emotions and where they come from.

Most long-running TV shows manage to have a couple episodes to this effect. Doctor Who, I’m sure, had a few. But the one that I’ve been mentally connecting my emotional reaction to Rosa to is Vincent and the Doctor back in season five, which - for me at least - was a moving depiction of the complexities of mental illness. And I’m not sure how popular that particular episode was, or how many people viewed it the same way I did, but a lot of the reactions I had toward Rosa were the same reactions I had toward VatD, even if the sources of those reactions weren’t the same.

Rosa gave me the same quaking chills - somehow full of both conviction and sorrow - and left me with the same inability to sleep for everything I was thinking and feeling.

And... I don’t know. I can’t help but appreciate the blessing this episode was. Emotionally raw stories tend to be few and far between on television simply because they depend on a teetering balance of elements that aren’t the easiest to write on a deadline. It was nice to get another Doctor Who episode to that effect.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m so happy that Rosa got the chance to grace our TV screens and our hearts. I really do live for stories like this, and it was just handled wonderfully.

I just can’t stop thinking about how much I love it.

I love it.

I’m not sure what else to say.

[wotzup]

Hanged

This is a original story I wrote. I kinda contains references to depression and suicide and if you can be triggered by it I will advise you to stay away from it. Anyway you can give your feedback on it(if you want). I hope you all like it :)

Stars. Blinking beacons for the ones astray in the vast sea. Shining brighter and brighter as the night goes on before the sun rises bringing a palette of color to the once dark and mysterious sky. But there are some days even the brightest may fail to shine. Clouds, blocking their rays to guide other, only to make them fall into the pit of nothingness.

Some people lose their sight in things in life at some point in their life. They wonder, "What's the point in even continuing when you're marching to you gravestone anyway?", there is an answer to this that these people fail to see. They become blind and make haste decisions. Life is a treasure even if death is going to sweep you away.

"Hey whatcha doing in there?"

"Oh just writing."

"What is it about?"

"You'll find out soon enough.", she laughed. This had been the umpteenth time she had locked herself in that month. She had not let anyone enter the room after school, by saying excuses like she was writing something or planning. For what now, no one knew. Not even him, her closest friend. He wanted to know. Every time he'd ask her she'd run away saying a dismissive reply sighing almost depressed. She'd distance herself from the rest which worried him greatly. It was peculiar and it only fueled his wanting to know what was going on.

"Hey, you out there?" she knocked on the door. He crawled to the door replying to her question. "Let's say I was a ghost, how would you react to that?", it was a weird question for one person to ask. Sure one may or may not ask this to another at one point in life but he never expected it to be now. "Umm... why are you asking this?"

"I'm just curious that's all."

"Well then, I'd first be terrified,", she giggled, "then I'd ask you how it happened and try to help you."

"I see. Thanks."

"So why did you ask me this?" the answer he received was silence. He shrugged, moving back making himself comfy as he leaned back onto the walls of the corridors as he waited for her to finish her work. He wasn't ready to leave her alone. Even if she did lock him out, like his current position, he was ready to do anything in his power to help her. Like now, to give her company as they walked home completing their long day at school.

Finally after what seemed like ages(and boy it was), she heard the door click. He snapped up from the ground, watching the door swing open revealing her all ready to go home for the day, with a bright smile. "Let's go home." she said, walking a few paces towards him. He got up from the ground, wiping off the non-existent dust from his pants, picked up his bag and together were making their ways to their houses. As they exited the school's building he could see the sun setting, just like any other day. The sky sprayed with a bright orange with hues of blue and purple making a beautiful mixture in the sky that complemented the white fluffy clouds that danced in the sky. Yup, it was getting late.

He had an urge to ask her. Though he felt as if he was nagging her, he felt it was only right if she were to tell her problems aloud. Maybe he could help her, just like she did like when she stopped him from committing a mistake that would have broke the many people that cared about him. It was one of his lowest days but from then she had become his model, guiding him to safety like a star does to a sailor man trying to find his way back home in the arms of family and comfort. He wanted to be that star for her boat. Yes, he was desperate but equally worried.

"Hey," she broke that uneasy silence that lingered between the two. She was looking at the ground as she said, "Can you meet me by the ghost house at midnight?", her tone was almost pleading. He thought, for a moment. Maybe this was his chance to help her! "Sure." He might need to formulate an escape plan before leaving his house as he knew very well his parent would not allow him so late at night and especially not to the ghost house.

The ghost house, as everyone called it though it was a mansion, was obviously haunted. There were rumors that a young girl's spirit still lingered there and hung there victims to death but there was a catch. There was no proof., None of the missing bodies were found except for the bloody noose that was usually thrown outside the house anytime someone died there. No one knew how the girl had died. It was a mystery along with the peculiar disappearances of the corpses of the ones missing.

As he promised he came to the ghost house at midnight, well a minute late but it was fine as he could see her walking down the secluded road, a black cloak that kept her well hidden in the moonless night, wrapped around her pale delicate structure. "Have you been waiting for long?" she asked once she reached a closer distance. "Nah."

"Let's go."

Never had he been so scared in his life. He had only had the guts to pass by the gates of the house, and that to because of a dare. He gulped as he inched behind her, who was skipping in happiness, or it seemed to be like that. "W-why do you seem so happy?"

"Don't tell me your a scaredy cat?" she smirked as she played around with the lock, trying to click it open with a hairpin pulled out from her hair.

"Bingo." she shoved the door out of the way, bending forward stretching out her hand, asking him to enter first. "Thanks..." he grumbled as he trudged into the house. Boy, was the boys something he'd never seen in his life.

On the inside it looked more of a palace than a mansion, with a high ceiling from which hung a humongous chandelier, not shining as bright as it should if there were inhabitants in the house. He saw something flickering within the chandelier before it busted into a fury of light. Now the chandelier was glowing dimly just enough to see. He turned off his flashlight looking around frightened. But there was something off. Why on earth were the candles lit? It didn't make sense. But then again he was in the ghost house where nothing made sense. Suddenly the door shut behind them with a bang. Looking at each other in shock they ran to the door trying to pry it open but it was a futile attempt.

"No this can't be happening." his voice shook, breathing heavily. It was like one of those scenes in those horror movies he used to watch. "Don't worry it will open for us... in sometime. Hopefully."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Meanwhile," she scanned the dimly lit room.

"Ooh this room seems cool!" he heard her yell from behind. He shushed her saying, "Let's say the ghost comes."

"We'll fight it of course. People who came here always came here alone but we are not alone. We have each other." she gave him a pat on the back. "Let's go to that room." she zoomed away dragging him behind her, forcibly. He mentally groaned. Today they were going to die.

She pushed open the large lavishly decorated door of the room, whose creaking resonated from the walls of the building. The room was dark with nothing to be seen making home feel worse than what he felt before, except for those places that were right in front by the door before fading into darkness. Judging by its looks, it was a dining room like those in palaces but he couldn't see any table. He wanted to go home. If only she would listen to him.

She ran inside, making him have no other choice but follow just like before. He took a few steps inside and the door shut behind once again. It was pitch black. He took a shaky breath. "Where are you-" he screamed in terror as he felt a rough tight grip on his neck pulling him upwards. The grip was almost choking him as it dragged him. He wanted to tell for help but he couldn't speak. He was struggling against it but it was of no use. He had no clue where she went either. Suddenly his upward ascent had ended and he was standing on a platform of some sort yet he was immobilized. There was no chance of escape.

The lights of the room were turned on, blinding him for a second before he stared at the sight he saw. She was a ghost. A pale spirit that seemed very angry. 'That can't be her...'

"How do you like my house?" she hummed smiling innocently. "Seems nice right? Seems lavish and beautiful. Something that a normal person would dream to live in if it weren't cursed."

"W-what do you mean by cursed?" he felt the need for answers. He couldn't believe what was going on. Was this all just a dream? All he could do was hope.

"The family that lived here had been cursed to be ghost forever. They found a loophole though, if they were to lure a person into their trap the ghost would go to heaven or hell, depending on how they were meanwhile the person who was lured becomes the ghost." She explained. He couldn't accept this. Was he just a pawn in her game to release herself from this world? Did he only mean that much to her?

"They needed to get close to the person to so do the switch. You were at an emotionally low state when I met you. So perfect, like a fitting the final piece of the puzzle, completing it." she gave a deep laugh examining her fingernails, "So I choose you. It took me sometime to fix my trap. That time I locked myself in the room it was for the final stages of the plan, including a suicide note. I forged your handwriting if you wanted to know. Thanks for your help, really. I can finally get out of here."

"Why?" he gave a out a choked sob, looking at her betrayed. "When I was lured here I wasn't like you. I wanted to live. I was just naive to understand I was being played. If I had another chance I would love to live my life to the fullest unlike you who was ready to just throw it away as if it was trash." she growled. "Thanks for the birthday present."

With a snap of her fingers the platform gave way making him hang. Immediately his hands flew to the rope trying to take it off, flailing around. His throat constricted, blocking his breathing passage. He was choking to death as the rough rope seemed to grow tighter on his neck. The lights of the world seemed to dim as the pain he felt on his neck seemed to increase. All of a sudden a bright light shone in front of him.

The world had seemed to stop for a second and before he knew it he was standing in front of his corpse with her nowhere to be seen.

[karinakamichi]

Just because you prefer FMA 03 over Brotherhood or the manga doesn’t mean you support pedophilia, hon. I didn’t even know this was an argument, but let me just say this, I was nearly taken advantage of once by a guy that was at least 6 years older than me, and was pretty much traumatized by that event, didn’t even know how to react, so I do not support pedophilia. Why I preferred 03 over Brotherhood is something that @project-two-five-zero-one put as “(beyond general stuff like quality of directing, scoring and dialogue) is that in 03 the protagonists discover that part of growing up is having to critically examine their own perspectives and systems of understanding the world and reassess them in the face of an unflinching reality. Meanwhile in the manga/Brotherhood, the characters are never really put into a situation where they’re forced to compromise their youthful idealism; the world ultimately conforms to their view of it rather than the other way around. The former is a pretty harsh message for a shonen anime which I think is why a lot of people find it offputting, but I think it’s also a lot more truthful. One embraces doubt and ambiguity and finding the strength to live in spite of them, while the other neatly ties up every plot thread with a cathartic resolution like fiction is “supposed” to do. But real life is ambiguous.(I’m also a sucker for tragic narratives and emotionally complicated resolutions - shoutouts to Eva and Berserk, as animu goes.)”  But even if somebody prefers 03, it doesn’t mean they support pedophilia. Perhaps, the darker narrative and morally gray characters just resonated with them more. (ROYED ISN’T CANON IN 03, I DON’T KNOW WHY IT’S AN ARGUMENT.) Perhaps, they didn’t like the way race was handled in brotherhood. Perhaps, they didn’t like Sloth or Lust in Brotherhood. Perhaps Hohneheim’s abandonment of Ed, Al and Envy was something they really related to(especially considering how we see Ed and Al comforting each other over it) because they have their own family issues, perhaps they like how the series is incredibly interactive and leaves a lot more room up for interpretation, perhaps Brotherhood’s optimism just didn’t sit with them as well, perhaps they didn’t like the humor of Brotherhood, perhaps they didn’t like Scar being antagonized so much in Brotherhood, perhaps they didn’t like the way Envy, a person who rejoiced in killing a child and prides himself in starting a war, being sympathized with in his final moments or how it made out like you should feel bad for him despite everything he’s done in Brotherhood, perhaps people didn’t like the way Lust was killed in an overly sexual manner in Brotherhood, perhaps they like how the characters are dynamic in 03, how Al goes from being selfless to thinking about himself and what he wants for once, or how Edward undergoes the opposite development. Perhaps they didn’t like how homosexuality was made out as a joke in Brotherhood, was made fun of by Arakawa herself.(the only gay character in Brotherhood is pretty much a punchline.) Perhaps, they didn’t like how Yoki, despite what he did before, was made out as nothing but a joke by the end. Above all, maybe they just liked 03 better, just because they liked it better. Their doesn’t have to be some nasty motives to prefer one series over the other, or to enjoy 03 more. And even if one did enjoy Roy and Edward’s bonding over the course of the series doesn’t mean they support pedophilia or ship them. I saw them as equals or like Brothers. They started off rocky, but over the course of the series, Roy begins to open up around him, and tries to get Edward to reach out to him.(much like Ross and Alphonse does) Because he cares and begins to see Edward, as somebody that he is similar to. It’s not pedophilia. It’s just a flawed, but well-rounded friendship.  I personally felt that the writing was better in 03 on many accounts, but I’m not gonna criticize people who prefer Brotherhood or make accusations about them preferring it because they condone abuse or something(considering that some see Edwin as abusive). 

[sociologyontherock]

Sharing the Disciplines

By Rainer Baehre

At MUN’s Grenfell campus, I am an historian in the Historical Studies program and cross-listed with Social/Cultural Studies. As my training is in history, tangible historical evidence remains integral to my work. Yet I have also relied on sociology and related social science disciplines to frame and address questions of interest in order to make sense of historical persons, groups, events, and developments. I apply these ideas to topics that resonate in the present, such as racism, social inequality, and marginality. How I got to where I am is a bit of a shaggy dog story.

My journey began as an undergraduate student at the University of Waterloo during the heady Counterculture days of the late-1960s and early 70s. Initially, I dabbled in philosophy and psychology, thinking that they would reveal the workings of the human brain and human consciousness. In my effort to acquire further insight into the turbulent and often contradictory world of the civil rights movement, political assassinations, the Vietnam War, the nuclear arms race, student protest, decolonization, and so on, I was also attracted to the writings of the New Left and neo-Marxist critiques of modern capitalist society. To make a long story short, I found studying psychology and philosophy, though often interesting, too limited and too narrowly defined for my liking in helping me to find better answers to the “big” questions that befuddled me, a somewhat disillusioned twenty-something.

 During my senior years as an undergraduate, I began taking history courses. I had never considered this discipline as a field of study, even though “history” had heavily shaped my upbringing. My parents had grown up in Nazi Germany and my family on both sides had experienced the horrors of war. The heightening Cold War and the threat of World War III prompted my parents to leave Germany in 1952, when I was three-year old, and to settle in Kitchener-Waterloo. While I was raised as a “Canadian,” I nevertheless always remained acutely aware of my origins, a self-conscious awareness and formative identity that follow me to this day, which give me a particular perspective as an outsider.

 After finally finishing my undergraduate degree and before entering graduate school at the University of Waterloo, serendipity intervened. I was hired as a part-time research assistant, then course instructor, in an experimental Field Studies program headed by sociologist Dr. H. David Kirk at the University of Waterloo. (Professor Kirk passed away on December 14, 2019, at the age of 101.) I cannot understate how important David Kirk was, first, as a professor, then mentor and good friend. The Field Studies program he designed focused on participant and non-participant observation, and students were placed in settings such as a magistrate’s court, churches, and hospitals. In such settings, students were expected to study what their sociology text had to say about “society” and compare the text with their own observations in order to develop a more critical and grounded understanding of the discipline and to move away from recipe knowledge, that is simply reading the assigned material and following the “menu” uncritically without further thought. I was hired primarily because of my previous work experience as a resource person at the long defunct Allen Street Free School in Waterloo and as a junior attendant in a psychiatric hospital, as well as my critical perspectives on the educational system, as it then existed, and on my personal and direct observations of institutionalization and decarceration.

 Kirk taught me classical and modern sociological theory, as well as basic qualitative and quantitative methods. For the first time, I became acquainted with the works of Durkheim, Weber, Simmel, and Veblen as well as contemporary sociologists such as Hughes, Mead, Merton, Mills, Whyte, Goffman, Berger, Luckmann, and others. Rather than emphasizing biological and structural factors, Kirk’s own research was heavily influenced by symbolic interactionism, that is, examining how social/cultural beliefs became internalized and how they shaped our lives and identities. This is demonstrated in his book Shared Fate: A Theory of Adoption and Mental Health (New York: Free Press, 1964; revised edition 1984 subtitled A Theory and Method of Adoptive Relations). He also believed in grounding theory in direct observation, in seeing if and how sociological models worked in the particular, or in other words, in an individual’s everyday world.

 We also shared some other important elements. Kirk was German-born and of Jewish background, raised in an upper-class secular household. He was sent to England by his parents at the beginning of the Nazi era and then went on to the United States, where his parents joined him in 1938 after Kristallnacht. A Quaker and conscientious objector during World War II, Kirk gradually returned to his Jewish roots and became preoccupied with the Holocaust – what had happened and why. Our common German backgrounds and common interest in historicism led to many conversations about stigma, ideology, racism, social movements, irrationality, totalitarianism, and total institutions. During those days, I read extensively about the Holocaust and joined him, as his research assistant, on trips to Vienna where we met the Nazi-hunter and Holocaust researcher Simon Wiesenthal, observed the war crimes trial of the architects of Auschwitz Fritz Ertl and Walter Dejaco, and interviewed camp survivors, and subsequently went to Israel. The personal impact of reading this literature, our attempts at analysis, and personal contact with living history cannot be understated. These readings and encounters left an indelible impression, both intellectually and emotionally, and still influence how I shape much of my research, especially in examining what I consider significant historical questions by using oral history, as well as traditional historical sources.

 Subsequently, I became drawn ever more to historical research, as a way of understanding the present, and I completed an MA in European and Russian history, including writing a major cognate essay on Hitler and how he reflected Max Weber’s concept of charisma. I also took a course on European intellectual history, which introduced me to the works of Michel Foucault and Paul Ricoeur, who have since influenced many disciplinary modes of thinking.

 I decided then to take another graduate degree in Canadian instead of European history, though my previous influences carried over. In one course, I examined the ideological origins of the Kingston penitentiary and for my M.Phil. Thesis focused on the emergence of nineteenth-century Ontario psychiatry, influenced in my thinking by Marx, Weber, Goffman, and Foucault. During my subsequent doctoral studies at York University, I extended my work on the early history of Canadian psychiatry, its founders, and its institutions, shaped by Foucault’s idea of “power/knowledge” – an approach which made some members of my doctoral committee very unhappy, as inappropriately theoretical, and not historical. Although history, as a discipline had by then begun to shift gradually towards social and cultural perspectives, topics such as the state, social welfare, institutions, incarceration, stigmatization, and marginal peoples were still viewed by more traditional Canadian historians as belonging to sociology or social work, not to history.

 After coming to the Grenfell campus in 1989, my research and teaching interests shifted yet again, now focusing more on topics related to Newfoundland and Labrador’s social and cultural history. In Outrageous Seas: Shipwreck and Survival in the Waters off Newfoundland, 1583-1893 (Montreal-Kingston: McGill-Queen’s University Press, 1999), I attempted to use shipwreck narratives as a way of understanding maritime encounters with the sea, by means of historical narratives. I was interested in “fate” and the trauma of shipwreck, how survivors made sense of and gave meaning to their experiences in the face of “nature,” and how their thoughts and beliefs reflected important aspects of Newfoundland’s social and cultural identity. More recently, I have worked on aspects of the province’s Indigenous history, such as addressing the role and pre-eugenics discourse of nineteenth-century medicine, anthropology, and ethnology in constructing the stereotype of “the Eskimo” of Labrador. I have also studied the former “jackatar” community of Crow Gulch and the relocation of former residents into Corner Brook’s first assisted housing projects. It had never been written about by scholars, and I relied heavily on local interviews to collect information and make sense of its history. How this community was viewed during municipal urban renewal schemes of the 1960s illustrates passive forms of local racism and micro-aggressions against peoples of French and Mi’kmaq descent, how stereotypes rooted in history and social and economic inequality developed, and how the current identities of individuals linked intergenerationally to Crow Gulch now see themselves within that historical context.

 In closing, I am very comfortable in describing my scholarly place as “historical studies.” I no longer see historians engaged in an entirely “objective,” top-down, empirical enterprise – which is what I was first taught. I am equally comfortable in looking to sociology and anthropology for theoretical and methodological insights and information as well as to oral history for hearing and giving voice to previously voiceless individuals. I also have always attempted to ground my work within an empirically based historical context as opposed to fitting it into a theoretical framework. Nevertheless, I also continue to pay heed to current social theorists, sociologists, and anthropologists who write about post-modernism, intersectional theory, post-colonial theory, identity theory, disability theory, and gender theory. And I remain convinced that one cannot understand the present without placing our social and cultural worlds into an historical context. To that end, historians need to examine the theoretical and the particular, the interrelationships between the macro and the micro, and what other disciplines have to say about the past.

[degreeprojectjg]

Mini Interview

To get better insight and to really explore the project through the means of asking myself questions and my motivation towards the project can be therapeutic yet informative. I have made some sets of questions for myself which can been seen as ways to talk more about the work and talk about things that I have been doing unconsciously, this is where I confront these topics and answer genuinely. 

Background of ‘Mero Pahichaan’ Project

I want to explore my personal experience in relation to my Nepalese identity. My work is quite personal as I explore various themes of identity, isolation and belonging, my wok is simple a response to that. I re-examine this notion of  having an Asian identity and the feeling of being distant in terms of linking to your heritage.

 Photography is a universal language to me that I want to access and to talk back to the world.

-Title of the project, what does it mean?

‘Mero Pahichaan’

It translates to ‘my identity’, the title is Nepalse which is romanized in English, this is something that I play around with my captions as well. I wanted the title to be informative yet informative. The title hints at a familiarity yet is not English, it refers to completely different language and meaning which is a representative theme of my project.

Also in the captions and the work, not only the photographs are autobiographical in the sense of interpreting a sense of own experiences in the pictorial narrative sense but they are also accompanied by autobiographical titles and paratexts by myself.

-What is the project about? / Project synopsis

This project focuses on my fading Nepalese identity. I'm a British Citizen who has lived in the UK for nearly 14 years now. Despite having lived in the UK more than I have in Nepal, I still feel a strong sense of belonging in Nepal. This underlying theme urges me to rekindle my relationship with Nepal and it’s rich culture. Using my camera as a tool that functions as part anthropological enquiry and part personal story from my depleting Nepalese identity to explore intimacy, distance and often tensions between my torn identity. The project attempts to manifest a sense of attachment to my Nepalese identity but also comprehends my separation from it.

-What do you want to say?

I simply explore my family and how our relationship, memories and bodies are intertwined. The project is very intimate, in which it underscores the closeness and the bond of my family as well as my vulnerable identity. Although deeply personal, the work welcomes you into it's confused world, evoking a sense of understanding and vulnerability. This is fuelled by my own experience of seeing which is in this peculiar mix of both eastern and western culture.

- Why do I want to tell this story?

This project is a very personal story, it's my journey so far as I confront my identity and heritage. The overarching feeling is of an outsider yet an insider, who's a queer mixture of the east and the west, out of place everywhere. Photography for me, contributes to a collective space that creates conditions of citizenship and participation. Through this, an ongoing dialogue opens between the project and the audience where their own experiences of growing up and dwelling within the region are introduced. Although, it's a personal story, there are some universal themes of having a sense of belonging and questioning of identity that resonates with everyone.

 - What is my emotional connection to this project?

At the core, the photographs are my recollection of my memories regarding my childhood experiences and my sense of attachment to a place, to Nepal and UK. In a way, the project is much about nostalgia. The photographs within the project don't document the way things really were but instead, they communicate my selective, romantic memories of growing up in a specific place and time, coloured by my present circumstances. The images are felt as warm and familiar by many, because they stimulate embodied memories of some common experiences of place. The work evokes a kind of playful nostalgia.

 -Project promotional PDF & industry audience

UK is home to one of the largest Nepalese diasporic communities in the world which is supported by the past ongoing relationship between the two countries. This project reflects this movement as I attempt to tell a story about a sense of place. The images express my personal nostalgia for a period of my life and the places of my childhood. Thus, 'Mero Pahichaan' are my experiences of a deeply felt identity of a place. I believe that they also inspire feelings of nostalgia in many of the people who view them.

It's an ode to my childhood, our Nepalese British childhood and personal experiences.

 -What will your colour schemes/tones be? How will you create a unifying visual consistency to your images?

The project embraces an experimental approach with it's uses of experimental medium such as polaroid and film to investigate the personal and cultural topics around memories, migration and displacement within my Nepalese identity. The variety of the medium and the different look of the images represent the diversity of people and the differences. The photographs are imperfect, they're not always well composed or properly exposed. A wonderful analogy is created of me and my memory. We understand a historical document intellectually, but we understand a human document emotionally.

The photographs in the project has an underlying warm tone, it welcomes you with the soft of pastel colours which evoke a feeling of warmth and understanding.

 Key Words

Identity, exploration, lost, confusion, intimacy, vulnerability, relationship, isolation, nostalgia, attachment, separation, culture, citizen, sentimental, memory, heritage,

A little foolishness mixed with an introspective thought.

 -Talk about your technical mishaps in the project / Stylistic choices

 There are some 'technical mishaps' such as colour cast, wonky film borders, inaccurate exposures, crop factor, etc. All of these 'mishaps' works with the project. You are reminded almost every time that you are looking at a photograph, each photograph has their own character. You are looking at an experience, my experience. Those experiences might be hazy, unclear or inaccurate, but they embody my fading identity.

 - Fragments of Nepal in UK

 Initially, I photographed remnants of the Nepalese culture in my home at UK. Personally, I don’t have much personal objects that links to my cultural heritage, but my parents do. My house at UK has lots of personal objects and strong attachment to Nepal such as the cultural clothing, food, religion, etc. Coming back to my family's house almost feels like I'm in Nepal where I am surrounded by the Nepalese culture and people constantly. With this surrounding, I explore the environment, using my camera as a tool that functions as part anthropological enquiry and part personal story from my depleting Nepalese identity.

 As well as with objects, I photographed lots of my close family members here in the UK. Some of them are staged and some were in the heat of the moment. The photographs was a result of conversations that I would normally have with my parents regarding my fading Nepalese identity. Sometimes, I photographed my parents in a cultural attire or sometimes, I photographed them in everyday situations in order to get this contrast between their own British & Nepalese identity as they differ to create a strong juxtaposition.

 -You feature your family a lot in this project. Was this a conscious decision?

 Photographing my family became a way of confronting my confusion about being identity. My parents has always guided and supported me throughout my life, they made me who I am. It made sense to trace back my idea of my identity back to my parents. In this project, I focus on my family and how our relationship, memories and bodies are intertwined.

 -Your photographs vary from still life, portraiture and landscapes. What was the reason behind it?

 The photographs vary from still life, portraits & landscapes, the series of them are interconnected in terms of their subject matter, a deeper layer of meaning is created in their being set in relation to one another. The work represents the whole experience, the ideas of my Nepalese identity. It's this strong urge to preserve my Nepalese identity that drives me as I attempt to rekindle my relationship. The whole project has been a way of creating a sense of attachment to my Nepalese identity but also my separation from them.

Personal Intake

Answering these questions have been rather challenging, yet it was therapeutic to write. I realised that I wrote some things that I genuinely wouldn’t known if I haven’t asked myself those questions. It’s a great way to get your reasoning behind your work and your motivating behind it. It feels diaristic in the sense that I become quite open and revealing in my answers. I want to explore more of this in the future as this is quite convenient and informative to some people who might not ‘get’ my photographs, the writing can help shape them an understanding of the project and the reasoning behind it. In the future, I wish to use this alongside my photographs to share amongst my peers and tutors to further introduce them to my project as well as to communicate my own personal insight to the project. Writing this has certainly helped me to feel closer and connected to the project.

[sayux01]

Acceptance

Author’s Note: Although this is mainly a SasuHina fic, this also includes polyamory. Couples are NaruHina, SasuKarin, SasuHina, NejiIno. As I write more of these stories, there will also be NaruIno, SasuIno, NejiKarin, HinaIno & HinaKarin. 

“Huh. I guess the mission did work out after all.” A fiery-haired kunoichi smirked, receiving a snort from her fellow Uzumaki.

“Of course it did! Told ya’ my idea would work, Karin!” Naruto grinned, placing an elbow on her shoulder as he lightly leaned against her. 

Karin placed her hand on her hip and looked over at Ino. Both women rolled their eyes, trying to hide their amusement. 

“About time the Uchiha made his move.” Neji replied, raising an eyebrow at the scene below.

Both Uzumaki snapped their heads towards the Hyuuga, comical disbelief on their faces as Neji and Ino continued to watch the scene, oblivious to their antics.

“The nerve of the guy…” Karin muttered to Naruto, adjusting her glasses. 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” he replied back, shaking his head.

Both turned their attention back to the previous scene and smiled as Sasuke sat gazing at Hinata, seemingly in deep thought. She was oblivious to his staring, examining the gash on his arm. 

He watched as her graceful fingers delicately brushed against his skin, a soft glow emanating from her palms as she concentrated on her energy. 

She activated her Byakugan, checking that everything else was running smoothly. After deactivating the dojutsu, she blushed intensely when her lavender eyes caught the Sharingan and Rinnegan staring right back at her. 

“Sasuke-”

“Hn.” 

She blinked and lowered her gaze, puzzled by his actions.

“Hinata.”

Her heart felt such warmth just by hearing her name come from his lips. It was always Hyūga this or Hyūga that.

“Yes?”

“I accept your offer.”

“…about cooking your favorite?”

“Ah.”

Hinata smiled and nodded, “Of course Sasuke-kun. Your house or-”

“Mine. Karin and the dobe know already.” 

“Eh? You had already planned this?” she asked surprised.

Sasuke furrowed his brows and look away, knowing he got caught. 

He frowned upon hearing her giggle and gave her a questioning look.

“That explains why Naruto-kun was acting very secretive last night.” she explained, making Sasuke’s lips twitch into a smirk.

“I’m surprised he didn’t blurt it out, knowing that idiot.”

“He almost did in his sleep I think.”

-Flashback-

“Nnngh… Eat it teme…Hinata-chan made…surp-”

Naruto’s eyes popped wide open and he sat up, looking at a bewildered Hinata.

“Naruto-ku-”

“Did I say anything?!”

“W-Well… It didn’t really make much sense Naruto-kun.”

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, scratching his neck as he sheepishly smiled at her. 

“Dreams sure can uh… be crazy Hime.” 

Hinata moved closer to snuggle beside him, a look of concern crossing her face.

“What was it about?”

“Ah nothing at all Hina. Huh! I even forgot.” he said, forcing a nervous smile.

Hinata watched him closely and knew he was hiding something but decided to not push it. 

“If you say so Naruto-kun.”

Naruto gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead and wrapped the blanket over them, mentally scolding himself over the close call. 

-End of flashback-

“It makes sense now.” Hinata shrugged, chuckling.

‘Usuratonkachi.’ Sasuke thought irritated.

“I agreed to spar with Kiba-kun tomorrow morning. Is the afternoon fine?”

“Ah.”

“Very well Sasuke-kun. I’ll see you tomorr-”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“B-but… won’t Karin-chan mind?” Hinata felt the heat rise to her cheeks, embarrassed for even bringing up such a question. 

Again, she was caught by surprise when the Uchiha stared at her from underneath his dark lashes, his rinnegan partially covered by his bangs. 

“Not at all.” 

Hinata froze. Was he insinuating…?

She remembered the conversation Naruto brought up days before. 

-Flashback-

“The mission you had with the teme… it really changed him Hime.” 

Hinata looked up in surprise at the blonde Uzumaki who smiled at her tenderly.

“I-I do agree that Sasuke-kun indeed changed. Hopefully for the better…emotionally of course.” 

“Heh. He has…” Naruto murmured, his striking blue eyes looking at her with a hidden meaning, “Karin-chan has helped him in more ways than one. He was a different Sasuke when she came into his life. Yeah, he was still set on his revenge but… I could tell she got through to him in the way that Sakura-chan could only dream of.”

He chuckled, “You even helped Karin-chan get rid of most of her demons. Just by listening to her. She’s stubborn. But I guess us Uzumaki are known for being hard-headed anyway.” 

Hinata listened closely, a still silence falling upon them after he finished.

“Hina… I want you to know that-well…What I’m trying to say is that, your heart is huge. Like super huge,” his face broke into a goofy grin, “Just don’t forget that. It always loves and gives and that’s what you’re most good at Hime.” 

Hinata’s eyes widened, astonished at what he was implying. She looked deep into his eyes and saw such sincerity and acceptance from them. She finally gave a soft smile, embracing him tightly to her. 

“…..I don’t want him hogging the bed though.” 

“N-Naruto-kun!”

-End of flashback-

Hinata stared up at Sasuke, seeking answers within his gaze. She held her breath when his face got steadily closer, her body tensing up.

He rested his forehead against hers and she found such overwhelming emotions emanating beneath those dark depths. The answers he conveyed to her were pure and sincere. Just like Naruto’s.

She closed her eyes as he finally closed the space between them, feeling his lips press against her softly. She brushed the tips of her fingers against his cheek, receiving his declaration of love wholeheartedly. 

‘No clan cherished love more than the Uchiha.’ 

This resonated with Sasuke and as he deepened the kiss, he knew he was determined to prove it to her…