#Even though concerts are kinda overwhelming for him

[chalcanthitedreams]

I like Rook I likehim I like him Ilike him

[afterglowsainz]

i'mgonnagetyouback | max verstappen

part 2

summary: after you and max broke up you released an album about it and when you go on tour, you didn't expected max to be there front row after being dragged by his new girlfriend's daughter

warnings: none

word count: 877

a/n: this is kinda told in max's pov (?, also heavily inspired on taylor's eras tour and i slightly changed the lyrics of the song to relate it a bit more to max

the tortured athletes department series

the lights were out in the stadium but there was barely any darkness. the lights of flashes from phones and twinkling colored light bracelets illuminated the allegiance stadium in las vegas, every person there waiting for the one and only y/n y/l/n.

if you would’ve told max months ago that he was gonna be at her ex-girlfriend’s sold out concert the same weekend he was racing in vegas, he would’ve laughed in your face. but here he was, waiting with the other 69,000 people for her to show up on stage and sing all her hit songs, including the ones that she wrote about him after their breakup.

he had to remind himself that the only reason he was doing this was because of his new girlfriend's daughter, who begged them for weeks to take her to y/n’s concert or she would simply die. she was y/n’s biggest fan because, of course, karma had to do that to max. so there he was, in the vip section of the stadium without y/n’s knowledge, next to his new girlfriend and her daughter.

the lights on the bracelets turned off and the stadium went a bit darker than before, announcing the start of the show. when a huge clock on the stage came up and it reached the number zero, y/n came out singing the first song of the concert and the crowd went wild. max was immediately mesmerized by her. she hadn’t changed much since they broke up, that much he noticed, and she was as beautiful as ever.

he had to control himself not to sing along to her songs to not give his girlfriend a bad impression, even though her daughter was singing all her songs by heart. he just nodded and move along with the rhythm, avoiding the gaze of his girlfriend who was very well aware of her boyfriends history with the singer on stage.

y/n was singing her most famous songs and a few that were more lowkey, and when they reached the acoustic set of the concert, she was carrying a wide smile while playing a few keys on the piano. max smiled at the sight of her.

“hello, vegas!” she shouted at the microphone, making the whole stadium scream. “welcome to the acoustic set.” she smiled. “i’ve been meaning to sing different surprise songs every night, some that i haven’t played in a while, some others brand new. this one particularly is from my new album, i hope you enjoy it.”

max stopped breathing for a second. it was very well known with the public that y/n’s new album was about their breakup and she hadn’t sung any of those songs until tonight. he didn’t know what to do with himself or how to behave, so he simply crossed his arms and stood a bit further into the vip section. in the location he was he had a perfect view of her, but she hadn’t seen him all night.

soon enough y/n start singing one of the songs from the new album that max new for a fact was about him. he hadn’t listen to the whole album because he just didn’t want to relieve the breakup. in his defense he did try to give it a listen, but it was just to overwhelming for him so he had to stop listening mid-album, but this one he knew.

Lilac short skirt / The one that fits me like skin

max submerged himself in the lyrics and y/n’s incredibly familiar voice. only now she wasn’t singing just for him, but for thousands of people.

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your car, I / Haven't decided yet / But I'm gonna get you back

a rebel smile appeared on his face, incapable of hiding how much she meant to him, how much he had missed her. seeing her there, singing her heart out on stage for a crowd of people who were crazy about her, god, how could he lost her?

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new / Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too" / Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

the smile on her face while singing the song she wrote made his smile even greater. he didn’t know the song fully like his girlfriend’s daughter, but he knew; he lived it, just as much as she did. in that moment in time, he felt connected to her in a level that no one in the stadium was.

I hear the whispers in your eyes / I'll make you wanna think twice / You'll find that you were never not mine / I'm gonna get you back

when the song finished, the multitude exploited in praise and y/n’s smile grew on her face. max completely forgot about everyone else and joined the crowd, screaming for her and applauding. y/n stood up from the piano and did a small bow before leaving the stage for her next set of songs.

it was as clear as day for max and it struck him like lightning. he was gonna get her back.

[vonlycaonwife]

May i suggest or request a reader whos like billy a cybernetic kinda thing(?) but works as a music artist/DJ with wise, belle, billy, and lycaon? (anby and nicole are opt if u have time that is!)

This is such an interesting idea!!! I know you wanted yandere too but I think I'll stick to normal. You can request again later on when they're open! I also kind of was a bit generic with the music aspect because idk too much.

Warning: none

•He probably heard about you from Belle, since she definitely would be a fan. Though he mainly was half listening to her for the most part.

•It’s only when Belle had dragged him to one of your performances that he truly got an idea of how breathtaking you were when in your groove, your custom cybernetics enhancing the showmanship.

•Though I wouldn’t say he’s a mega fan like Belle would be, but he most likely shows up to more of your shows.

•Oh she was already a fan before she even met you! She just loved your music and how you performed at various events.

•Imagine her shock when you first walk into her store. She’s hiding in the backroom trying to keep her cool, but she just can’t! Is she hyperventilating? She feels like she is!

•Though after a few more visits, with the help of Wise, she was able to have a normal conversation with you!

•And that just makes her superficial crush turn into a genuine crush. Which she’s very sure she’s hiding very well, just don’t ask why she’s turning red when you’re close.

•You’re gonna be waiting awhile if you want to wait for her to ask you out.

•Billy is also another fan of yours! But mainly because of your contribution to the ost of the Starlight Knight show. 

•Though that would mean there’s less of a chance for him to meet you since he spends most of his money on merchandise, but he certainly would also get vinyls of your music!

•I want to imagine that they most likely do concerts for the show’s music (think of those concerts they do for games), and if they did Billy is 100% there and freaking the fuck out as his favorite tracks start playing.

•If he got enough to buy a backstage pass or something he’s gonna be fanboying heavily, especially if they have costumed dancers (like Persona concerts). You’ll probably get overwhelmed heavily from all his hyperactive quirks.

•But the first meeting is good for you both, and even better in the  meetings after that.

•Another that I don’t believe would initially be that interested, though he probably would know way more in a more personal sense since you would most likely ask the Victoria Housekeeping Company for regular cleanups of your place. Since working as often as you do would make it hard to keep the place clean.

•He most likely can hear your music earlier than everyone else, though he’s under contract to never mention it to anyone. Though he is a good reference for making sure there isn’t anything that could hurt a thirian’s ears.

•While he cleans he probably also acts as a semi assistant for you, bringing you water and food since he knows how your workflow runs. Though that’s only if you are there working while he’s there.

•He probably won’t ever really go to any of your performances, but he’s not missing all that much when he gets a private show while he does his job. 

•Plus the small sense of pride he feels over you is nice when he overhears the other workers talk about the latest performance they went to.

[lonleywriters-blog]

Gotham characters x metalhead reader?

(James, Barbara , Lee, Bruce, Oswald, Edward and Jerome?)

Gotham x metalhead reader

Kinda shit because it's late but I'm trying to write while I have motivation

Honestly he probably steals some of your stuff because it's cool.

He's rich so any band you like, he's looking for tickets.

Tries to understand the actual history behind the style and culture.

He will let you practice pain on him, maybe even let you do it before he leaves as Batman.

Alfred secretly gets down to the music

Bruce actually likes it, but never lets you play it in the morning

Spoils you with merch and accessories like every week

She tries to be supportive but she does not like the music

She will let you listen to it when she's not around or if it's not as loud

She will set up small concerts of local metal bands at her club for you

She buys you anything you want including tickets, clothes, makeup, ECT.

The one time you caught her enjoying metal was listening to an underground female band

You both met at a concert, at the bar actually

She loved your outfit and bought you a drink

She was surprised to actually get along with you, and want to spend more than a night together

Let's you practice make up on her, even asks you for some tips

Definitely steals accessories, especially your belts

She thinks chains look great on top of a black dress

Just don't play anything too early, she will get mad if you wake her up to metal

Hasn't a clue about any band that's not in the radio

He might know a few 'divorced dad' type songs

He doesn't judge, he'll just silently be supportive

Y'all look cool side by side though, since he's always in a suit

He will go to concerts but he's not popular there, given he's like a famous Gotham cop

"name three songs" type guy

She definitely knows some songs and mainstream bands

She loves the style but can't dedicate herself to learning about everything

Not to say she doesn't try, she does

She just doesn't have the best attention span for this kinda stuff

Shes always complimenting you, like religiously

If you guys go somewhere you'll feel her fix your hair or accessories

"sorry babes, loose strands."

His gothic look next to your metalhead look

Y'all are the most fashionable couple around

He honestly listens to more classical music but he'd enjoy a few of your songs

He doesn't love going to concerts, too many people, and way too much sweat and noise

Both of you suffer in all black in the heat together

"Can we go find shade, my love?"

Oswald does love when he gets to watch you get ready

Watching you do face paint is so alluring to him

Please let him buy you things, please he loves spoiling you

He grew up in the circus, he's always loved more dramatic looks

Loved your style, especially if you had face paint or heavy makeup on

Definitely comes on strong and hard, won't leave you alone for a second

He will come to any all concerts with you, probably sneaking in and/or stealing tickets

He loves stealing you accessories while he's out, his way of showing affection

Don't let him talk to anyone at a concert, he will be loud and wrong

He loves learning about all your favorite bands and songs and all their meanings

He doesn't know much about the fashion but he knows about the history

He likes to help you get ready, it's nice to watch your routine

Compliments all the time

He does have sensitive ears so he may not always let you play music

Please let him give you headphones

Don't take him to a concert, he will get lost and overwhelmed

[wonwoonlight]

Cheol secretly clearing your schedule for the week to take you on a surprise trip to Jeju 😌

IT'S THIS SEUNGCHEOL ACTUALLY

when you miss seungcheol but you're going on a trip to jeju without him

A/n: not proofread, just fluff!!! Short lol idk the wc bc i wrote it on tumblr. Thank u anon i love u for this, virtually kissing you on the mouth (with consent) for your big brain😗😗😗😗

The company has given you a month break on top of the first two weeks you were told to rest by your doctor.

Seungcheol tries to be there as much as he can, but between concert preparation and some other schedules, he can only squeeze in so much of his time between his overall schedules.

You've been recovering well, thankfully, and you’ve declared yourself too well rested that you're at the point where you're antsy and you just want to move. So you've been catching up with friends and family instead; meeting them over meals and desserts.

Obviously, Seungcheol can't come with you even though he would love to. He was going to join one of the dinner with your family, but one of his schedule got delayed for two hours so there goes his plan. Instead, he quickly sent your family a set of desserts as an apology like the good boyfriend that he is.

That said, you're on your last week of resting and you'll belatedly return to your schedule starting on Tuesday. Which you're kinda excited for because you miss your hectic schedules already, but it also kinda sucks because you've only gotten to see Seungcheol about four times for a few short hours throughout your break. It was such a good opportunity to finally spend time with him, but, then again, he has schedules to attend to and you understand.

Still, you were hoping you can finally just laze around with him even for a day.

"You're all packed?" Seungcheol asks lazily through the phone, his face filling your entire screen.

"Pretty much." You nod as you look through your luggages. "This is enough... right?

Seungcheol laughs incredulously, and you glare at him because you already know what he's going to say.

"Baby, you're--"

"--going on a three days trip, I know. But you don't know what's going to happen!"

He grins so hard his cheeks hurt, and it takes everything in him to hold back from telling you just how much he knows what's going to happen during your trip.

"Curse my cousin for asking me to go on a trip out of nowhere. She knows I'm the worst when it comes to packing. How could she ask me if I want to go to Jeju three days ago! Three!"

"But you're excited anyway, right?" He coaxes you softly, reminding you that it's been quite some time since you go on a trip that is not related to your schedule.

"I am." You admit, then drop the sundress you're going to put into the luggage (last minute because you're literally leaving to the airpory in an hour) before you take your phone and plops down the bed, looking at him through your screen. "I wish I could've gone with you, though."

"I know." He tries to sound as sad as possible, and he's thankful that you were too busy pouting to see the battle he's close to losing to fight a smile. "We'll go on a trip soon, I promise."

"Don't make promises like that." You say sternly; he knows just how much you hate promises like that, and he's learned not to say them carelessly, but of course he says that because he knows just how soon that actually is.

"I'm sorry, I just really want to go on a trip with you, too." He musters the most pitiful tone he can let out, and you roll your eyes before you tell him he's obligated to take you on a trip now that he's said it. "I will. It'll happen before you know it."

You're not playing with him anymore though, because you're suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of loneliness even though he's here with you on the phone almost everyday. You don't want to sound clingy, because you're grateful that Seungcheol always tries to spare the time to talk to you on the phone when he could; but it's actually been a month or so since you actually spend time to be with each other and you suddenly miss him so, so dearly.

"I miss you..." Seungcheol would've missed it had he not been staring at you, and he returns the sentiment before he winces at his manager telling him they've arrived at their destination. "Go. Your schedule is waiting."

"I'll see you very soon, okay? Promise me you'll have fun in Jeju?"

"I will if you're there with me."

Seungcheol laughs, which seems to help you smile also because you've always claimed you're his number one fan when it comes to that.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do about that."

"It's fine." You brush off his words, not wanting him to feel bad about it. "I love you. Do well on your schedule today."

"Love you too." He smiles before you hang up, not forgetting to remind you to eat properly.

You don't get to be dramatic and wail about your loneliness, because it's not even three minutes later that someone knocks on your door and you open it only to have your breath knocked out of your lungs.

"Surprise!" Seungcheol grins, his arms wide open, ready to wrap into your frame. "I heard you're all ready for Jeju?"

[scekrex]

Hello ! How are you doing ? Could I ask for an Adam x reader who doesn't know how to say 'no' so Adam is kinda teaching him how to ? Just reader sweating profusely, looking at Adam, who's making big "No no" signs. I live in a community (?) and my asocial ass is /not/ liking it. I generally act like I'm napping when they're calling me (yes they can't see me but I still pretend in case there's invisible cameras) but when it's face to face, oh lord have mercy... I say yes. I hate driving (I'm a bad driver when I have people in my car...).

Thank you if you do it ! <3

As someone who had to learn that saying "no" is not only okay but also important, I love this request so much!! <3 I hope you like it

People Pleasing doesn't rock

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Saying no to things, especially people close to you, has always been a struggle, even during your days on earth. And living in heaven hadn't changed much about it. Well that wasn't entirely true, while living in heaven itself hadn't changed anything about that, Adam had. Or at least he was trying to.

He had started to realize that right when you met him. He had invited you to one of his concerts and while you really wanted to go, big crowds weren't your thing, they usually caused panic. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to say no, so you agreed. It ended with a panic attack for you and overwhelm for Adam and his band mates since none of them had known what to do. Luckily Lute had carried you through it - a thing you were forever thankful for.

Adam's arm was wrapped around your shoulders, his hand held onto yours to spend you comfort. While you were used to heaven and its people, it didn't mean that your panic was kicking in any less. However when you saw a familiar face in the distance, your mood changed a little and you gave them a bright smile, it was one of your closest friends. They walked right towards you and you poked Adam's side as the first man sighed as he noticed them. They weren't his favorite, in his opinion they were too pressuring and talked you into stuff more than they accepted you not wanting to do certain things. But it wasn't his place to tell you who to hang out with so he remained quiet.

“Hey Y/N,” they greeted you with a warm smile and the three of you stopped so that you and them could have a conversation. “Sup, are you doing okay?” They nodded before changing the topic from smalltalk to whatever it was they wanted to talk about, “So you know how I have this project going on?” You thought about it for a moment before you remembered what they were talking about, “Oh yeah, you mean that art project of yours, right? How's it going?” Their face scrunched up unpleasantly and they broke eye contact, “Not well to be honest and I thought-” Adam interrupted them rudely, his hand gave yours a soft squeeze as he spoke, “And you thought he could help you fix the motherfucking mess you created to save your own fucking ass, didn't you?” You looked up at Adam, the LED face of his mask represented the annoyance his voice had given away quite well, it was visible that he was having none of it.

You looked at your friend in front of you, “Is that true?” They seemed uncomfortable with the way Adam had worded their need even though he was right about it, “Well, sort of, I-” Yet again they were interrupted by Adam, “No.” And oh dear mighty Lord you thanked Adam for disagreeing with them. Because while you loved them, they asked for you to correct their mistakes a little too often. “I think Y/N can speak for himself,” they hissed at Adam who simply flipped them off. “Okay, hear it from him yourself then,” he gently squeezed your hand again and offered you a reassuring look. He'd have your back if they wouldn't respect your no, he'd get you out of the situation if you couldn't do it yourself. So you inhaled deeply and muttered, “Sorry, can't help you,” the words were spoken fast, almost too fast to process but your friend had managed to anyway. “But-” Adam's index finger was onto their lips within a heartbeat, shushing them without a word. “He said no, go look for some other fucker who's willing to fix your fucking mistakes,” and with that the first man lead you away from them.

“Thanks,” you mumbled as you rested your head against his upper arm, still walking the streets. “Yeah, don't fucking mention it. But your ass really needs to learn how to stick the fuck up for yourself,” you sighed at his words, knowing he was right. You couldn't agree to anything, that would lead to you doing everyone's work, fixing everyone's life and drowning in your own problems. “But you did fucking great today, so how about we have your favorite dinner later, huh?” And at that you beamed at him, pure joy was visible in your eyes and he loved to see you that way. God help him, he'd do way too much to see you happy.

[kairiscorner]

hobie brown with a reader who is stoic and performs metal?? 😵😵😵

omg no bc ... i love listening to metal (sometimes heavy isn't my style, but it sounds so GOOD ANYWAY LIKE ???)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

my other half. – hobie brown x metalhead!reader headcanons

hobie loves pissing you off, your serious and stoic expression at nearly everything always makes him want to poke fun at you and try either making you even more pissed and serious, or ending up making you grin for once.

hobie enjoys listening to the music you love, it exposes him to much more nuanced genres and gets him so much more intrigued with you and what you like.

he's the sunshine to your moonlight, though you both seem like doom and gloom together—you know hobie is the more fun and outwardly caring and sweet one in his own way, the more teasing and delightful one to joke around with.

you personally don't mind how hobie's much more of a little tease compared to you—you do find his teasing endearing sometimes; so endearing that it... kinda makes you long for his little nicknames and teasing touches and jokes.

he once called you 'wednesday addams' for how serious and stern you appeared; your stoic expression always made you a target for hobie's teasing that just came to show how interested he was in you.

when hobie hears you practicing your riffs and chords for a performance, he can't help but stick around to listen to you. he doesn't want to overwhelm you and instead just be there to appreciate and admire your talent, but whenever he accidentally ends up making you feel self-conscious, he leaves you be to your own devices and reassures you as he walks away that, 'you've got this, my dearest!'

hobie is always your number one fan at concerts; he gets all loud and expressive with just how much he adores and supports you, he encourages others to remember your name, the sounds you play, and the your stage or band name if you had any.

hobie would definitely 'overhype' you, and when you tell him he doesn't have to exaggerate the truth, he merely chuckles and reminds you that the truth is always subjective in one way or another... you are the greatest metalhead and best lover he's ever and will ever have—you are the most amazing person to him, always and forever.

others think hobie's the one to get all intimidating and be the one to stare others down when they're making moves on you and protecting you, but in fact... you do that more often to him that he does for you.

"is this person troubling you... love?" you'd ask him in a raspy voice since you and hobie went to the pub after your performance. you placed your hand gently on his shoulder, with hobie placing his hand over yours and looking up at you as you stood next to his sitting figure—staring down at the person who was flirting with hobie even after he kept saying that he wasn't interested, that he has someone else. "they're not that much of a problem, dear, they'll leave soon." "once i make them." you said as you narrowed your gaze at them, causing them to flinch a bit and slowly back away form you two. "you're so scary, love." he said with a chuckle as he took your hand in his and pecked it with a kiss, making you all flustered and stammering, the intimidating persona you had earlier dissipating as you entered your 'flustered and lovesick' mode.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @arachnoia @popeheywardssecretgf @euphovlq @rohansdisciple @conitagray

[parvulous-writings]

Hey! I saw that Bill and Ted were on the list that you write for, and I was wondering if you could do a Bill x Ted x gn!reader where y/n is autistic and they have a shutdown where they go nonverbal and everything feels uncomfortable (touch/sound/etc). Which in turn causes them to feel worse because now y/n feels like they're being a burden to their partners, but Bill and Ted will not let them believe that /Can be mostly fluff with a small bit of angst //you don't have to include this, but I do hc both Bill and Ted as neurodivergent, so if you want to input that you can 🌟

///This request does kinda stem from personal experiences, and I just needed some fictional comfort 😭

////Stay hydrated and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/evening! 😊

Summary: Bill and Ted try to help you as much as they can whilst you have a shutdown

Warnings: Description of autistic shutdown, descriptions of overwhelming spaces. There's nothing too graphic or anything, though! Gender-neutral use of dude, that's just how they talk 0-0

Words:

Notes: I am so SO sorry this took so long - I was just determined to pour my heart and soul into this, as it struck me very deeply! I hope I can do this justice! Also trying out a slightly new format which is strange to me 0-0  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

not my gif

Somehow, the pair of music-loving young men had managed to convince you to go with them to a local concert. How they had coaxed you into it, you weren't entirely sure - their voices had overlapped so much and so many times that you weren't quite sure who was speaking when. "Listen, it's all going to be okay! I mean, it'll be loud, but you'll be with us, we'll cover your ears if you need it!" The shorter of the two, Bill, assured you. He was already clearly ecstatic, practically bouncing as he shifted his weight back and forth on his feet. You hadn't even given a response yet, and he was already over the moon. "Yeah, you'll be with us!" Ted echoed, a huge, almost goofy smile on his face. Though the taller of the two seemed much slower in his movements, there was no doubt that he was just as excited as his best friend.

You had tried to explain that that wasn't always how it worked with your sensitivity, but no matter what you said, they always seemed to have an answer or a solution to every potential problem you presented them with. They were just so stoked at the idea you might join them to this concert - the event they had been waiting for months upon months to go to. The one thing that they had begged their parents to attend; that Bill had easily managed to cajole Missy to let him go to, and that Ted had somehow managed to convince his father that it wasn't anything nefarious, that he would be safe. They had already begun packing for you before you had a chance to properly consider - they were very sweet about it all, but your voice was very quiet compared to their overlapping chatter.

Three bags - backpacks - was what they ended up packing. "I think that should be enough..." Bill said to Ted, as the taller of the two was bringing more water into the garage from the house. "Are you sure?" Ted asked, "What if we run out of water? Don't want to ruin our throats, dude..." "I'm sure there'll be some there! Missy'll give us a bit of money, too..." Bill replied, starting to do up the backpacks, making sure everything was packed properly - maximising space whilst also ensuring that everything was at least somewhat secure, particularly the bottles of water. It simply wouldn't have done to have one of them burst in the bag, and soak one of your backs, especially when you were all going to be standing for so long. You stood there, awkwardly as the two friends rushed back and forth, making sure that everything was as they had planned. "Hey," Ted's voice broke you from a thoughtless daze. You blink a few times, and turn your gaze to him. "You okay?" He asks, his brows furrowed with boyish concern - he wasn't sure what was going through your head, but the worry was genuine, that much was clear to see.

You consider his question for a moment, before settling on your answer: "I'm... not sure...?" Ted is clearly puzzled by this response, so you fumble your way through a half explanation. "Well... I do want to go with you guys-" "You are coming with us!" Ted interjects, quite gleefully. "What I mean is, I... I'm really anxious about it- I've never done something like this before, I've never... been comfortable, with this kind of thing..." "Well..." Ted starts, trailing off for a moment. He must be trying to make some connections in his head. "Well, you'll be with us... " He repeats the mantra like statement that he and Bill had adopted since they broke the news to you that morning. "So, that'll help, right?" He asks - you had never been entirely open with the two about how some things would affect you in a drastically different way to what it affected them. Crowds overwhelmed you, excessive noise debilitated you and made you ever so irritated you, and change... Well, you had never let anyone but your family see the results and ramifications change had on you, but needless to say, it was unpleasant. Ted's quasi-reassurance came from a good place in his heart, but you weren't as sure that their presence alone would calm or aid you. You stay quiet for a moment, considering your options. Yes, you could refuse, and save yourself the potential overwhelming environment, but disappoint your friends... OR, you could risk it, make them possibly the happiest you've seen them in a long time, and it could all be okay. There was no way of telling. You sigh quietly, then offer Ted a tiny smile. "Yeah, I guess that could help...."

Before you had even entered the venue, there were hundreds of people, all swarmed together, bustling little bubbles of activity that you would rather avoid. Both Bill and Ted were in their element already, eyes widened with wonder and anticipation. This was what their whole lives had led up to so far. This moment - seeing a band in the flesh, and their excitement was starting to bubble up, with the evening barely started. You grab Bill's arm with both hands, pulling yourself close to him. He glances at you, and is about to say something - his mouth half open as the words begin to form - before he is interrupted by a cheer from one of the groups ahead of you, as the doors to the venue are finally opened.

Bill and Ted quicken their pace - they so badly want to get in there, find a good spot for you all. So eager are they, that they drag you head on into the flowing crowd. Bodies are pressed against bodies, all moving as one, never stopping. You're being pushed by people behind you, pulled by Bill, and by Ted. Your feet can hardly keep up - the minimal room to move not helping you at all. You stumbled along, with no choice in the matter. You feel your chest tighten - the night had only just set into motion, and already, it was starting to get to you. You tried to call out, to get the attention of one of your friends, but naturally your voice is lost in the sea of the rest. You try tugging at Bill's sleeve, and then Ted's - but because so many others had done the same in the last few minutes, that they didn't take any notice whatsoever. They keep pushing forward, dragging you with them despite your reluctance. It was all too much. You had no way to tell them, but it was too much.

You can feel your eyes start to almost glaze over as your voice dies in your throat. You can still see everything, but it felt... Far away, now. All of the noises that surrounded you blur and fade, becoming one distant and droning hum. You're rooted to the spot, though you're still somewhat aware of the fact that people are still knocking into your arms, shoving past you to make their way into the venue. It was a few minutes later, when Ted went to turn to you to say something about how totally amazing this was going to be, that they knew you had gone. Ted grabbed Bill's arm, shaking it violently to make sure he got his attention. Bill turned, brows furrowed, almost in annoyance as he pulled his arm away from his friend's grasp. "Dude, what-" "Listen - our trio's turned to two!" Ted exclaimed over the noise, grabbing Bill's wrist again. He dragged the curly haired teen back through the crowd, Bill struggling at almost every step. There was a flurry of questions from him: "What the hell do you mean, dude?" and "Why are we going back to the doors? We're going to miss it!" were the only ones that Ted managed to make out. He knew, that if Bill had realised you weren't with them, he'd be just as concerned as he was. Ted cranes his neck, scanning over the top of the crowd, looking for you. It's not as simple as it sounds: there are at least ten other people who he initially thought were you, but quickly came to realise they were not.

It took a few minutes, but eventually, they did find you. And, immediately, they knew something was wrong - of course, they didn't know exactly what, but, concert or no, they knew they had to help. "Let's try getting outside." Bill suggested to Ted, despite his earlier protestations that they would miss the show. When faced with the decision of your well-being and comfort, or a live show, it was a no-brainer. Carefully, trying not to startle you, they took your arms. You were almost like a ragdoll in their hands as they started to move to the back of the crowd, but suddenly you're pulling against them, resisting, trying to wrestle your arms from their hands. You'd snapped back to reality, feeling every sensation there was to feel; the overwhelming noise, the heat of so many bodies packed closely together, the tight grip of Bill and of Ted. You wanted none of it. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggle, and soon enough, Ted let's go, motioning for Bill to do the same. You draw in on yourself, holding your hands to your ears and looking down at the floor, trying your best to minimise the amount of stimuli your brain was taking in. It worked, to some extent. You feel a quick, but firm, tap on your shoulder - someone trying to get your attention. Your eyes dart up, mostly out of habit, to see Ted waving at you, his smile nervous and unsure. He beckons to you, silently calling you forward, and you shuffle slightly in compliance. It's difficult to move, but you register that both Bill and Ted are trying to help you get out of this situation.

Eventually, you're all outside, and Bill is trying to guide you to sit on the floor so you can rest for a moment, which proves extraordinarily difficult to him when he realises he can't touch you more than a tap. You both manage it though, and Bill and Ted sit either side of you, like they do ordinarily. You all stay quiet for a while - both of them expecting you to speak first, to say that everything is okay, that you're fine. But you don't. You just sit there, tears rolling down your face. Ted leans forward, waving a little to get your attention again, "You okay?" He asks, his voice quiet, unsure. You just turn your head towards him, unable to answer. You wanted to - oh how you wished to be able to! But... At the same time, speaking felt like it would be too much now. Ted didn't really know how to take your silence. Was it good? Bad? His eyes flitted to Bill, who instantly made eye contact; clearly they were thinking along the same line. There's a moment of tension, where the two boys seem to be mentally battling to see who should speak first. Bill eventually opens his mouth. "We're sorry..." He begins, "We.. We should have listened to you, about the concert and..." He trails off with a light sigh - not at you, but at himself. At Ted. They should have listened to you - should have arranged to do something else. You hear something rustle from beside you, and as you turn you see Ted offering you one of the bottles of water he and Bill had packed. "Drink, dude..." The dark haired boy urged. He knew you needed something, and that you may be in a state, but they both still want to take care of you, even if they were the main cause of the problem in the first place. Their hearts were in the right place, and now they wished to try and make up for their mistake. Bill wished that he had thought of your perspective a bit more, and sooner. He had been so wrapped up in his desire - which had practically become a need - to see this concert, that his mind could barely focus on anything else. His chest ached with the guilt of what he had brought on to you; he knew all too well what the overwhelm could feel like, and so did Ted. But their focus on the concert had thrown all other considerations out of the window, for both of them.

You shakily take the bottle from Ted, to find it already undone. You glance in thanks to him -unable to smile- before bringing the bottle to your mouth and taking the smallest of sips. It was all you could muster for the time being. "I have an idea!" Bill announced, a tad too loud for your liking, making you flinch. Bill notices, and winces too, giving you an apologetic look. "I was thinking..." His voice is softer now, more like a whisper. "We take you back to yours..." He points at you, "So that you can rest up... Y'know, sort yourself out and everything... We can stay if you want to, but-" He pauses, realising he's getting carried away with himself and starting to ramble. "And then..." He continues, back on his original train of thought. "When you're ready... You can come over to my place, and we can jam out." He gives you that trademark goofy little smile, all teeth and just reaching his eyes. There's a question teetering in your mind, bouncing around; one you can't yet voice. Ted, somehow manages to read your mind at that very moment; "Jam? You mean, we'll be using the guitars?" He considers for a moment, "I don't know... Your dad said he doesn't want to hear any bad playing anymore... and I'm not tryin' to say anything about your playing-" Ted turns to you, totally sincere, "But I don't think it's... Eddie Van Halen level yet, dude..." "Well, it can be with or without the guitars." Bill responds, "I mean, we've got the guitars to get to Van Halen's level." He shrugs, "And who cares what my dad says? It's not like he's there most of the time."

Ted considers his friend's words for a moment, his brows furrowed as if he had been posed with a very serious philosophical question, lips pursed in thought to complete the look. After a few seconds of this, Ted nods enthusiastically, seemingly satisfied with this answer, his grin returning. "It's settled then!" Bill announces with a grin just as wide as Ted's, and with the gusto of the old shining knights of yore. "We take our good fellow here," He gestures to you broadly with his hand, "Back to their dwelling for the eve. And then!" He points dramatically to the sky with one finger. "We shall wait to the morn... To jam!" You giggle quietly, and Bill's joyous face turns back to you, all teeth and smiles still. Ted's face lights up too, and the two boys meet eyes before doing their natural greeting to one another - an epic air guitar gesture that had become customary for them after so many years of being friends. It's not long after that, that the three of you are walking down the path to your home - taking up the entire pavement as you stand with all your shoulders practically touching, though the pair were careful to make sure that they didn't accidentally brush against you on the way back - they didn't want to upset you again. Bill actually nearly ended up falling into the road a couple of times because of this mindset, so ended up switching places with Ted. Then the same thing happened to him! The pair were laughing merrily at one another as they walked you down your drive. "I'll come see you at lunchtime tomorrow..." Bill says to you as you step onto your porch. "And then we can go pick up Ted on the way to mine, if you want to jam... If not, we could all hang out at your place, if you wanted?" Bill offered, and you nod slowly, "But you can tell us tomorrow, if you want, or later - if you can call?" Bill rambles a little, grinning at you. Though he still feels a bit guilty about the fact that his actions had upset you, he knew that you would all be able to work through it eventually; your reaction, to him and Ted at least, was perfectly natural. They may have had similar ones had they been put in a situation they had deemed unsuitable for themselves - Ted had certainly lashed out in the past because of the very same thing.

"But yeah, lunchtime tomorrow-" Bill repeats, "Don't forget!" He tells you, as if you ever would. With that, Bill and Ted scurry off into the evening air- the memory of the concert left behind and forgotten in favour of the plans the pair had started to make, in preparation for the next time the three of you got to spend time together, whether that be tomorrow, or even days in the future.

[ceapa-mica]

Grand Admiral Thrawn - The SFW Alphabet 🦋

This is the counterpart to my NSFW alphabet. Thank you all so much for reading my works, that means so much to me! 🥹

Reader's gender is not mentioned.

Taglist: @bingbongooo @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @ele-millennial-weirdo @enaelyork @jesslove23 @thrawnalani @thrawnsboots @twincesskorisoka @unmotivated-exhausted-author

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Thrawn is not a pda kinda person. He rather shows his affection in acts of service. Behind closed doors he has to get used to physical affection at first. It starts with his hand resting a bit longer on your back than usual, and you go from brief hugs to cuddling up with him in a matter of weeks. Thrawn finds that he enjoys holding you close to his heart.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Having Thrawn as your bestie comes with certain advantages. He would take you to art exhibitions, museums and concerts. He is a loyal friend to have, and he sees your potential. He will make sure you become the best version of yourself you can be. That does not only apply to your work, but for your personality too. Thrawn helps you overcome your insecurities and encourages you to try new things. Being friends with him makes you stronger in so many ways. Your friendship would probably start when you work under his command, that's how you meet, and he's intrigued by you from the very beginning.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Chiss in general are not big on showing physical affection. He will get used to it for you though, but only in private. If you share a bed both of you have a way better sleep when cuddled up together.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He never thought about settling down. It seemed impossible for him, given his rank and very busy lifestyle. Then he met you, and once you are in a relationship, it won’t take long for the thought of settling down to cross his mind for the first time. As for cooking and cleaning, there are droids for both tasks aboard the Chimera. That doesn't mean he can't do it himself, he just doesn't have to, and I don't picture him being a five star cook, just good enough to cook simple meals and not burning them. He could learn if he wants to though, if he set his mind to it, but he's way too busy with his job and all.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would bluntly say that he wants to end things and why. He keeps his emotions in check as usual. No drama with tears on his side.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He would have to be sure he's with the right person first. He's also very busy, means you should have spent enough time together before he even considers proposing to you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically he's very gentle, he would never hurt you on purpose. Emotionally he can be blunt sometimes. He says what needs to be said and doesn't sugarcoat it. Apart from that, he always makes sure you feel loved and appreciated.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

After getting used to hugging you, he seeks out the warmth of your embrace more often than not in private. He's sensitive, feeling you against him with your scent filling his nose gives him an instant serotonin boost. He needs that in his otherwise dull Imperial life. Chiss have a higher body temperature than humans, therefore his hugs are always warm. He's likely taller than you, so when he hugs you, you feel an almost overwhelming feeling of safety and belonging, like you're wrapped in a warm blanket that smells so good.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Oh boy, it takes some time. You will probably be the one who has to say it first. I imagine Thrawn hasn’t had many partners and doesn't want to scare you off declaring his feelings for you. Once you tell him you love him he will either say it right back or needs some time to process your words first and then tells you when you least expect it. Please be patient with him. He's an autistic Chiss and putting his emotions into words can be a bit hard for him at times.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Anyone can get jealous and Thrawn is no exception. However, he doesn't express his jealousy with toxic behavior. He simply reminds you what he has to offer, spending as much extra time with you as his stressful job allows him to.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His lips are surprisingly soft and his kisses mostly turn from gentle to deep and passionate. He enjoys the taste of you on his tongue, whether from your mouth or your skin. He has all the sweet spots on your body memorized and vice versa. He loves when you tug on his hair while kissing him.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Nobody would expect the stoic Grand Admiral to be good with children, but you're in for a surprise. Thrawn listens to them, takes what they say seriously, and shows his softer side around them that only very few people have seen. He doesn't know how to play with them though. Games would have to be explained to him if the rules aren't obvious. He would actually be a good father.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

In the Imperial Navy you get up early. No problem for Thrawn since he doesn't require much sleep, but when you share a bed with him he would rather hold you and spoil you in bed until noon. He has important matters that require his attention though, so the typical morning starts with taking a shower together and a cup of caf before you start your day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

A SFW night with him includes lots of cuddling, you reading a holonovel in bed or watching holodramas while he's working on his datapad until long after you've fallen asleep in his arms, and whispered words of affection in a mix of Basic and Cheunh. Thrawn is always the big spoon, no question.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Thrawn is a very private person. When it comes to himself, his heritage and his people, he is careful how much he reveals about it to others. It takes time to gain his trust, but gradually he opens up. Again, be patient with him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Thrawn is a very patient man. Patient and disciplined. Even if he gets angry, he's not someone who would yell or throw a temper tantrum. He can be angry and hide it behind that indifferent facade he keeps up. To be honest, the only thing that gets him riled up like that are Krennic’s antics. He finds that man insufferable.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Thrawn takes mental notes of everything. Tbh I think sometimes he doesn't even realize he's doing it. You are important to him, so he puts an extra effort into remembering what you like and dislike, and every bit of information he learns about you is filed away in his mind.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It's the moment he realizes you sincerely care about him. Not just about him as a Grand Admiral, but as a person. You listen to him, even when he talks about art for hours, you are curious about him, and ask his opinion about things that don't involve military strategies. You see beyond his beneficial skill set and truly love him - Mitth’raw’nuruodo - a simple man who just happens to have an extraordinary mind.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

This man would protect you with his life. That's why he's reluctant about admitting his feelings to you at first, because it makes your relationship a thing. Being in a relationship with Thrawn puts a target on your back. To keep you safe he keeps you close, and your relationship must remain a secret until it's more serious.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Since Thrawn has everything memorized, you can expect him to never forget anniversaries, dates and tasks. You need to be flexible though, his job can get in the way last minute more often than not. Thrawn knows what you like and has an exquisite taste, so when you receive a gift from him it's either something you have wished for or something you didn't know you needed. Any gifts you receive are of practical or valuable nature - never anything trashy or too common.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has trouble relaxing after work sometimes, which leads to him keeping some of that ‘I’m a Grand Admiral, I’m in charge’ mentality outside work. It's not getting toxic though, you just have to remind him when he's doing it. He will apologize and try to relax. In a relationship you are equal partners after all.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Thrawn keeps his looks impeccable during working hours. He has his routine, keeping up a neat appearance. Away from work in his quarters you won't find him in his pristine white uniform though. That's when he wears a black tank top, loose sweatpants, no shoes and his usually slicked-back hair is a bit disheveled. (You love running your hands through those soft blue-black strands)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Look, until he met you Thrawn was convinced he didn't need anyone by his side. The only thing he missed was his home - the Chiss Ascendency. When he fell in love with you his feelings and priorities shifted. He tried everything not to get attached to you, and told himself these feelings would pass if he ignored them. Oh how wrong he was. You've come a long way since then and Thrawn has accepted that it's you who completes him. Without you by his side it feels like a part of himself is missing. He hates that feeling, especially on campaigns away from you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Thrawn is very tidy. He will never leave a mess anywhere, and always puts objects back to where they belong. Same goes for his appearance of course. Lint on his white uniform is a no-no for him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general he dislikes disobedience by subordinates in his job since it can cause his plans to fail, and with it entire missions. It's quite obvious that he's against the Empire’s xenophobia. In a partner he would never accept someone who's xenophobic or finds him attractive just because he's an alien. Disloyalty and dishonesty are also a big turnoff for him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He prefers sleeping with you in his arms being the big spoon. He could listen to your heartbeat for hours, it helps him relax. Thrawn doesn’t require much sleep though.

I hope you enjoyed this little alphabet as much as I enjoyed writing it. 💙

Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist if you aren't already!

[fan-therapy]

How would the wammy boys (and Light) take to a reader who dresses grungy metalhead style and listens to nirvana SOAD koRn and Slipknot and is antisocial and clingy to them also GN reader and preferably headcannons (established relationships because duh) sorry if it's kinda long but I want to know if they'd like me

Wammy Boys with a Grungy Metalhead Reader

hi! so i made these all SFW, also im not super familiar with the metal scene but i tried my best! i hope you enjoy it! thanks for the request anon <3

L Lawliet 🍰

-he doesn't really get it at first.

-he thinks its a little strange, the music you listen to.

-also, the clothes?

-he just wonders why you wear so many dark colors!

-on the personality part, he surprisingly lovessss the clinginess

-he doesn't mind having you clutching onto him and sitting with him while he works! he likes it!

-he's also antisocial, so he likes that definitely <3

Near/Nate River 🧩

-he loves the style!

-he thinks the look is really cool, even if he doesn't think he himself would dress that way

the music, though, is another story

-i'll say now that it's NOT a deal-breaker for him

-but he doesn't like it.

-he thinks it's too loud and intense and overwhelming. he's the type of person to listen to classical so metal is too much for him tbh

-just like L, he's also antisocial, so he likes that aspect of your personality. the clingy side of things isn't an issue either. he doesn't mind it!

Matt/Mail Jeevas 🎮

-oh god he ADORES you.

he's not antisocial so he might try to pull you out of your little hole, but he's also okay with sitting back and playing some games with you

-hes even clingier than you lmao...

-like, he LOVES your attention. he needs it and he thrives on it.

-he loves everything about you.

-especially your style! he thinks you look so cool.

-when you two started dating, he was introduced to metal for the first time and now he's fully obsessed with it.

Mello/Mihael Keehl 🍫

-i think he also likes metal!

-he listens to the same bands, goes to the same concerts, all of that

-when he was younger, he might have even tried making some metal music himself.

-y'all dress kinda similar too, so you go together really well.

-you would totally go to concerts together but that's not relevant

-on the clingy side of things, he might not always be super affectionate but he won't ever get pissed at you for wanting his attention

-he doesn't mind your antisocalness, he's not too antisocial but he doesn't really mind that you are!

Light Yagami 📓

-good lord you two are polar opposites.

-like, he can't stand metal music and says it distracts him and makes his head hurt

-but if you really wanna listen to it, he won't stop you. he might just put some earplugs in though...

-he doesn't mind your clothes.

-like, he thinks it's cool, but he's not nearly as obsessed with it as matt.

-he will never ever stop you from clinging onto him. he doesn't mind it at all, so why should he stop you?

-he does try to get you out of your shell though!

[monstersandmaw]

So today, I heard a track from Evanescence’s 2003 Album ‘Fallen’, (which was incidentally the first CD I bought with my own pocket money (aged 13) and which I listened to so intensely that I still know every word on the album) and it viscerally brought back my first real OC comfort character.

If you want to meet him, I'll put what I 'know' of him below the cut. It felt like meeting an old friend for the first time in years while I was driving along and thinking about him again today, all the while singing along to the album that inspired him in the first place.

His name is Kian, and he's a soft, shy goth boy in a band...

(Brief mention of car accident as a child and resulting physical disability)

Kinda tall and rather lanky, with long black hair to his waist and the kind of skin that burns at the first hint of sunshine, he's intensely shy and doesn't talk much, even with the people he's very comfortable around.

I didn't know the nuance of it at the time, but I can say now that he's definitely panromantic and demisexual/grey-ace.

He's the main songwriter and guitarist for a rock??/symphonic metal?? band that plays the same kind of music as on the album 'Fallen' (which is how I first imagined him), as well as stuff like Nightwish... His primary instrument is actually keyboard/piano (he could have been a classical concert pianist but he chose the band over that, much to his parents' eternal disappointment...). Sometimes the band has an instrumental section in their sets, with him playing the piano with his back to the audience, and it's become a bit of a trademark in their concerts :). The band is doing really well and becoming pretty popular, and the other members are a short girl with a plus-size figure and long black hair (singer), a 6'3" tanned, muscled, tattooed, smiley blond guy with viking hair and a teddy-bear personality (bass player and backing vocals, dating the girl), and a punk with piercings, tattoos, and spiky hair that changes colour basically every week (drums, gender???).

When Kian was nine years old, he was involved in a car accident and his right leg was crushed by the impact. It wasn't deemed necessary to amputate, but it's left him with a lot of pain in his right leg and he walks with the use of a cane or crutch (depending on the pain) and wears an orthotic brace. He has a wheelchair he uses sometimes, but with constant physio and attentive care, it's not often necessary. He uses it when he needs to though.

Kian is a sweetie who would do anything for the people he loves, but rarely enjoys going out in crowds and prefers to keep to himself or on the edge of social gatherings. He does really enjoy going out and about on his own to places like the park, and sitting on a bench to read in the shade with a coffee or tea. His bandmates are super protective of him because he's so shy (which he can find a bit chafing, but it comes from a good place), and they shield him socially when they do go out to crowded places, making sure he's not overwhelmed. Bass player is Big Protecc Bear with all his friends.

Kian's more of a dog person than a cat person, but he loves animals in general, and he loves it when the singer (I don't have a name for her) brings her dog to his apartment and lets Kian dog-sit when she needs someone to look after her (she's a Tamaskan who absolutely adores Kian, so that works out well for both parties).

He's pretty into social media, but mostly posts artsy shots of sunlight on his piano or his coffee etc., or snippets of stuff he's working on, and he rarely shows his face. He games a lot in his spare time, and though people know he's into online gaming, and which ones, they don't know his name/handle. I like to think that maybe he meets his future SO online and they fall in love without knowing who he is...

If you've played Stardew Valley at all, you'll know why I instantly fell in love with Sebastian - same vibes as Kian in many ways.

So yeah, that's one of my very oldest OCs (one who's human anyway. I've talked about my winged, skull-headed, half-man-half-reptile/gargoyle, temple guardian lad on here before, I'm sure, and he's even older than Kian).

Anyway, I hope you liked meeting him :). This was oddly personal for me, and I've never shared him with anyone before. Thinking about him and listening to 'Fallen' got me some of the toughest of my teenage years, so be kind, and if you think any of the above is silly or whatever, please just move on with your day and don't say anything :3.

I'd love to write something for the band and get to know them all over again now that I'm an adult. Maybe I will one day :)

[steddieas-shegoes]

This is probably gonna get long and it’s personal and it’s just me having sad feelings so please don’t feel like you need to read ❤️

If it isn’t like really clear from just the way I post about Liam, it’s always just been me and him.

It was just me when I was pregnant (and that’s a hell of a story because I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was already almost four months along), it was me during labor (and my mom but if you’ve ever been in labor with your mom there you know that’s kinda hit or miss), and me 24/7 since he was born.

It’s just me on the birth certificate (even though I could have done things differently).

It’s just me.

And like most of the time, especially as he’s gotten older, I’m pretty okay. Kind of glad actually. I can raise him the way I want to and I know that we have a bond that’s really incredible and unique. I know that because he’s such a good little human, I’m doing alright.

But there are some days (like Father’s Day) where it hits me way harder than it probably will ever hit him that it’s JUST me.

I don’t have a partner in this. I’m 100% responsible 100% of the time for him. Physically, emotionally, financially (hence, the fundraising for hockey).

And it’s not necessarily sadness that we call Father’s Day Papa’s Day instead (he always gets my dad a small gift), but more just an overwhelming feeling of failure?

Even though I know really I’m not failing him, I’m working hard every day to make things better for both of us, days like today are just a reminder that I have to keep doing better.

It’s a lot of pressure.

Every parent feels it regardless of the support they have (and I do have a lot of other support!), but at the end of the day, I’m the only parent he’s got.

He’s never had questions. Honestly, I’ve been mentally prepared for them for years because he’s always been a very curious kid. But not once has he asked about who I refer to as his sperm donor (it’s okay you can laugh it’s a coping mechanism and it’s funny as fuck), and I’ve never felt the need to tell him unless he asks. I’m sure a lot of it is because he has SO many amazing people who love him. My platonic soulmate is his uncle just as much as my sister is his aunt, I’ve lived with my parents since I had him so they’ve been around constantly, we have a second family who always tells us to “come home” when we’re gonna be at hockey for two days in a row.

It sounds whiny because I DO have so much support.

But I think it’s just hard to know that the support I thought I would have wasn’t there and my entire life had to adjust because of it. Liam’s entire life is different because of it.

In the long run, it’s for the better. But some days, like today, it really hits me that we both missed out on something.

I’m also coming down from the adrenaline of last weekend and I always have a hell of a crash after concerts/time with my person/overwhelming things like my first pride. And my period just ended. That definitely doesn’t help.

So if you read this, you’re a real one. I’m not one to shy away from my personal life much, I find a lot of value in sharing things in case someone else feels the same way and is looking for validation. Plus I don’t have insurance/money for a therapist so this is the next best thing!

[love4hobi]

Hi!! I really like your blog and it’s great to find an active Hobi blog. I just got into BTS this past month and was wondering if you had recommendations or favorite Jhope (and overall BTS) content/videos to check out for a complete beginner! Even though I’ve casually listened to BTS since 2015/2016, I didn’t follow them or even know all their names/faces well... until recently I watched a couple of Jhope’s stages and was like damnnn, I need to know him and the whole group more!! Iconic stages, funny videos, interesting interviews, whatever you enjoy :) Thank you!

thank u so much thats very sweet 🥹<33 im very honored that youve chosen to ask me this because this is a biiig question n i shall do my best🫡 ok well firstly, i think it would be insane to not start off with hobipalooza

his lollapalooza set can be watched in full here, which u might have already seen, but for an added bonus u can listen to his albums hope world + jack in the box, THEN watch his lolla set to really get a feel for how he brings his songs to life while performing them. his music is great but for me his true stardom lies in his performance and stage presence and hobipalooza will tell u everything u need to know about jhope as a performer 🥹🤩

just some of his many iconic solo performances:

more + arson at the 2022 mnet asian music awards (+ future)

the only live performance hes done of on the street 🥲

also the dynamite + butter performance from that same day just cus u can see the pure joy in his face and the love he has for performing 🫂 despite them both being songs that he originally had less than like 10 seconds of lines in each

his performance and interview on iu's palette my beloved

all of his just dance performances are amazing and consistent but heres a good fancam

as for bts group performances i think its best to look at their older songs as he has not had many lines in their recent releases :/ some that i really love:

mic drop is kind of known as his song, heres their snl performance, most recent performance of it, and another favorite of mine hehe

outro: tear specifically his verse at the end (around the 4 minute mark)

chicken noodle soup at the 2021 muster, its jhopes song but they performed it all together

boy meets evil + blood sweat & tears at 2016 mama

idk im drawing a blank but honestly any of their old concerts or fanmeets/musters are really great. you can find a lot of them here

some dance focused videos since hes the main dancer 🫶

any of his old hope on the street videos that i miss so dearly. theyre just videos of him freestyling for a while and he does it so effortlessly and its rly satisfying to watch. 2020, 2021, with jimin, with jungkook

the iconic no more dream dance break 🙇

this random dance performance 3j did i use to watch this on a monthly basis

another 3j dance video of the megan thee stallion butter remix

i feel like its kinda obvious but i also want to recommend his music videos since theyre all rly amazing but some of my favs are more, daydream, chicken noodle soup, and on the street

ok im gonna stop cus this is getting long and i dont want to overwhelm u but im also definitely forgetting stuff,, everyone else feel free to add stuff in the replies!! anyway i hope this helps!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP that Namjoon performance????@!!!!!!!??????

***

Listen! The girls who get it get it.

God what Joon is... where do I even begin? Talking about Yoongi, Joon, and Hoseok for me induces a riot of emotions. And it's the worst with Namseok for both their bond and their individual characters. Namjoon though...

Namjoon is something else. Really.

And can we talk about Hoeok for a sec? About how that man simply cannot not serve for the life of him? I mean, how can you look at this man and tell me he has not served his country every single day of his life, simply by existing as the gorgeous man he is.

Do you see what I see?

*

He's sick.

Back in his Louis Vuitton the second he's out of military fatigues, chic side-pouch present, lips perfectly moisturized... because Hoseok knows who and what exactly he is.

Let's take it back to Joon for a sec because I just had a revelation.

We need to hear his song with Pharrell. There's something I'd like to confirm for myself and I think for all of us in any case, the world will become a better place when Namjoon releases music into it. I saw someone say on Twitter that he reminds their mom of a young Leonard Cohen, and I can totally see why she would say that.

For anyone unfamiliar with the sort of person Leonard Cohen was, The New Yorker does an excellent short profile on him (linked here). One part in that profile that immediately reminds me of Joon is this bit:

"In a letter to his publisher, he said that he was out to reach “inner-directed adolescents, lovers in all degrees of anguish, disappointed Platonists, pornography-peepers, hair-handed monks and Popists.”"

They are similar in other ways too but really, at the end of the day, the real reason I'm here is because Joon is hot.

C'est ça.

*

And Yoongi, that little shit, after creating the concert experience of the century went back to his studio and did this...

*

The fuck?

Who does he think he is? The fucking audacity to look like that, to flex his guns in our faces and fucking smile on top?

He's insane.

Y'all, these three are a major problem for me. A friend recently pointed out to me that maybe one reason I get so into jikook and the other members sometimes is for relief from the overwhelming response I have to the rapline in BTS. And I'm not sure she's wrong.

Anyway, I hope you're all eating your vegetables and drinking your water. Exercise, reach out to friends you haven't seen in a bit, and stream D-DAY, Indigo, Jack in the Box, The Astronaut, FACE, and Seven. Also Tae's solo tracks (but I personally think Sweet Night goes best with IU's music and Ditto by NewJeans, but do you of course). 2026 is a long way off and the world is falling apart in many places, there's a lot going on so please take care of yourselves and fangirl safely and sensibly. Some of the asks I see in my inbox lately kinda worry me, lol. Then again, we're all going a little crazy in chapter 2.

Thanks for this and the other Joon ask, Anon.

[timaeusterrored]

(20 questions)

V had been the one to suggest the game. It was hot a hell and you couldn’t pay V to work that day. His body was already trying to kill, he didn’t want to speed it up by testing the heat. And Kerry seemed to already have a few in mind, so that’s out they ended up inside with the AC on the full blast, the only touching was Kerry playing with V’s hair while the merc sat on the floor.

“Did you and Johnny ever fuck?” V asked, making the engram huff a laugh and shake his head.

“‘Course we did. You think we got that fucked up and never did each other? Even topped him once.”

V looked over at the engram, who was making a point of not looking at him.

“Thank you for that, your turn.” V settled again, closing his eyes.

“How the fuck are were you a virgin until me?” Kerry asked, his hands like tiny miracles in Vax’s hair.

“Well, never really wanted anyone to fuck me until you. Wasn’t interested in people or sex really, no one caught my attention.”

“By I did?”

“Yes. Kerry caught my attention mind you, not just Kerry Eurodyne.” V hummed, Kerry’s hands pausing in his hair before continuing.

“Where was your favorite show?”

“Memphis. Ideal date?” Vax looked up at him, the rocker raising a brow.

“You gonna ask me on a date, Ker?”

“Answer the question.”

V sighed, thinking about it. “A quiet meal on the beach, don’t really care what it is but I want it to be romantic. Maybe a candle or some soft lighting? Then after dinner, go skinny dipping in the ocean.”

“You’ve thought about that. Not into romance my ass.” Kerry mumbled, playfully tugging on his hair.

“Well, like I said, I was never really into anyone before I met you. Just wasn’t my thing I guess.” Vax turned, looking full up at him from his spot on the cool floor.

“Speaking of romance, when’d you realize you liked me?” He grinned when Kerry rubbed his face.

“When we met the Us Cracks girls. You stopped me from doing something I would regret without making me feel like hell about it. And it was small things before that, things that separated you from Johnny, but also separated you from all the other people I’ve dated- You’re face is also extremely distracting.” He stopped, seeing the look he was being given from the merc on the floor. It was so full of love it was overwhelming. “Fine, what about you? Same question.”

“Calientes. I knew you had hired me to do that, and the concert was to have a chance to play with Johnny again. But I liked being in your company, and not Rock Legend Eurodyne. You were rightfully pissed about something, and yeah you probably called me because of Johnny, but you still called and trusted me to handle that kind of stuff…” Vax’s voice trailed off, messing with his earring. A tick Kerry noticed a while ago when the merc got nervous.

“Next question.” Kerry pulled Vax’s hand away from his ear and held it loosely while the merc thought.

“Hm. Did you and Bes ever fuck?”

“Bes and I never fucked. Nancy and I have.” It was a joke of course, but he and Nancy had always been close, of course they’ve had sex. “You and Johnny ever have weird engram sex?”

Vax seemed shocked by the question, answering that on its own. But the merc kinda shrugged.

“I guess? After you left my place, I had showered and he blew me.”

“Johnny Silverhand gave you a fuckin’ blow job?!” That was such a weird sentence to say now.

“Yes… you’re not pissed are you?” He asked softly, more serious than Kerry could have expected from him.

“What? No. Kinda surprised you didn’t do it sooner, with Johnny and all that.” He tugged on V’s hand, pulling him into his lap.

“I’m used to sharing with Johnny, maybe not like this really but we’ve shared people, booze, cigarettes, everything under the fucking sun. I’m not gonna be pissed if your brain buddy gave you a blowjob pr whatever, okay?” He asked, V leaning into his hands and looking above his head. “Would appreciate if he’d fuck off for like two seconds so I could talk to my input in peace though.”

“When has Johnny ever fucked off? Willingly?”

“Never.” Kerry answered with a grin, then pulled V down for a kiss.

[chronicallyonlinecath]

Wednesday 28th June 2023 - love is a risk, but what's the alternative? /lyr It's been a good few days, and now I am basically being held at gunpoint by Matty and Harley to write this. I'm currently sat in the local abbey, blasting Lyn Lapid in my ears (again) Harry is sat behind me scrolling through football instagram on his phone and Reagan is sat three seats to the left of me stressing because the guy they like has left them on delivered (again) and listening to the school's wind quintet rehearse. My final school summer concert is tonight and though I'm nervous as hell, I'm also somewhat sad and melancholy about it. I'm in wayy too much shit for my little pea brain to handle, and I'm gonna be overwhelmed as hell with emotions too. But the music grind never stops. Not long after I posted the blog on Saturday, Mattson messaged me about Janek's answer, and on Sunday I got a message from Janek. His answer? A no, quite clearly. To be fair, I already gathered it was a no - that's what no answers to questions about romance usually mean. But I suppose I was still a little hurt by it, just a little. Reagan just smacked me on the head with her tenor horn. My forehead aches now. But she and Harry are off to play in the brass dectet alongside Harvey. I'm not the only one to have been rejected recently either - although I wouldn't say this next example is exactly a rejection. Alison spoke to Harvey about her feelings for him. Was this a mistake on her part? Definitely not. Harvey is an absolute idiot with feelings and romance and knowing where his feelings for people lie. I talk from experience of talking to him late in the evening about the girls he likes and he practically falls apart trying to figure it out. I can't blame him, but it's frustrating and hurts people's feelings. Such as Alison's. But to be honest, I don't think she's that bothered anymore - she seems to have a lot more hellish stuff on her mind. And to be honest, so do I. The flute choir have just started playing ABBA - my life is complete. The amount of music shit I have on over the next few days is insane - that and college taster days. Yesterday was the more modern one of the two, and the one I'm least likely to go to. I got the bus with Peter and Reagan though, and it was kinda chill through the whole day. I nerded out completely in Psychology though - we were doing phobias and phobias are something I obsessed over in the lockdown period, so I already knew tons about it and scared the teacher a bit I think. But it's okay, I want to be a psychologist when I'm older, stuff like phobias fascinate the hell out of me. Anyway, I apologise for the lack of posts, and I'm scheduling this post after just watching the senior boys choir perform one of the best renditions of "My Shadow and Me" possible. If the performance is recorded I might post the link (except that'll be leaking my school so I probably won't) ~CM