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vioartemis · 1 year

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Jealous

(Ghostface! Sam Carpenter x fem! reader)

Summary: Sam gets jealous and killed a girl that flirted with you. You catch her, and things turn heated very quickly Warnings: (+18), smut, strap-on sex, top! Sam, blood, Sam kills someone a/n: let's say that Richie wasn't Sam's boyfriend during the 2022 massacre (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

Sam and you had been dating for over two years now, and she was a perfect girlfriend. Sweet, caring, maybe a little overprotective sometimes but you could understand why.

But there was that side of her that you never saw. She was jealous, and possessive. Not just a little like everybody. No. It was far more intense than that.

The simple thought of someone else touching you - or wanting to - made her see red. She had to hold back every time someone looked at you a little too long. Fortunately, it always worked.

Until today.

You had been invited to a party by one of your classmates. Sam didn't trust the girl, she saw how she looked at you. And she was right.

As soon as your girlfriend left to go to the bathroom, Bella came to you.

"Hey beautiful, how's the party?" she asked, putting her hand on your arm

"It's cool, thanks for inviting me"

"Anytime" she smiled "I'd invite you everyday if I could" she added, trailing her fingers up your arm "Why don't we go upstairs, huh? I have some good stuff in my room"

"I'm gonna have to pass. I have a girlfriend"

"She doesn't need to know. C'mon, it'll be quick, she will not even notice-"

"She told you she had a girlfriend. Now back the fuck off." Sam intervened, spawning right behind you, glaring daggers at the other girl

The girl must have been scared because she complied without complaining and almost ran away.

Sam wrapped a possessive arm around your waist, holding you close.

"This bitch" she mumbled

"Thank you for helping me out" you said, turning around to face her and wrap your arms around her "You're kinda hot when you're jealous y'know?" you kissed her tenderly "can we go home? I don't really want to stay anymore..."

"Of course baby, we're going home"

Maybe two hours after you got back home, Sam told you she was going to her therapy session and went out. You were alone in the appartement, Tara being with her friends. You looked up for your bag, the one you brought to Bella's party, in which you had put your phone, but couldn't find it.

"Shit..." you whispered as you remembered you left it at her house

You had no other choice than go back there and get it. You weren't going to leave your phone there.

You put your shoes on, and quickly went back to the girl's house.

When you arrived, the party was over, and everything was silent. You entered quietly, not sure you were allowed to do that.

You made your way to the living room, looking for your bag, when a noise coming from the kitchen draw your attention. Without even thinking about it, you started walking towards the noise.

When you entered the room, you saw Bella lying on the floor in a puddle of blood, someone in a black robe on top of her. You first thought it was Ghostface, but the person wasn't wearing a mask. You could see their long, dark hair.

"Sam...?"

Hearing her name, the girl turned around, eyes wide. You weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to see that.

"Why did you do that...?"

She got up and walked to you, dropping the bloody knife on the floor, trying to find the good words. She couldn't find any excuse, her jealousy taking control.

"She was trying to fuck you. I'm not letting anyone touch what's mine."

You never thought she could kill someone. You should be scared of her. But you were not. You were aroused.

The look in her eyes, dark, almost animalistic, the way her muscles tensed when she stabbed the girl, the very muscles that drove you crazy since day one, the blood on her face... The fact that she killed for you...

You couldn't help the blush that appeared on your face. And she saw it. A smirk appeared on her face.

She took your chin between her thumb and index and tilted your head up so she could kiss you. She wasted no time and slipped her tongue in your mouth, deepening the kiss.

Her hands were on your hips, before sliding down to your thighs, signaling you that she wanted to lift you up. You helped her - even tho it was useless, jumping slightly and wrapping your legs around her waist.

Without breaking the kiss, she walked to the couch and knelt on it so she could make you lay on your back and be on top of you.

She then pulled away, only to dip down to your neck where she left hickeys and love bites in the most visible places for people to know you were hers, and hers only.

When she was satisfied with the marks she left on you, she sat up and looked at you for a second, biting her bottom lip.

She took off her black robe, leaving her in her grey tank top and jeans, jeans that were took off quickly after, revealing the black strap she was wearing.

You didn't know seeing her wearing a strap and a tank top could be that exciting. You felt yourself get wetter by the second, cheeks burning, heart racing in anticipation.

Sam took her belt from her jeans and pinned your hands over your head, tying them up with the leather band.

"If you move them I'll stop." she said, still mad from earlier.

You nodded.

She kissed your lips one more time before unbuttoning your pants, slid them down your legs and threw them somewhere in the room before taking off the last piece of clothing you had at a painfully slow pace.

"You're so wet, I don't even need lube." she smirked, looking at your dripping cunt "Who made you this wet, huh?"

"Y-you"

"Damn right I did."

Without any warning, she slid her silicone cock inside you in one swift motion, making you moan loudly.

"God, you're so tight..." she groaned

She waited a little, letting you time to ajust, before she started moving in deep, rough thrusts.

You knew it was bad, she just killed someone after all. But it felt so good.

Her smirk got wider at the moans leaving your mouth, knowing she was she only one who got to hear them.

"You like it when I fuck you like that, huh? When I fuck your pretty little pussy with my cock? Tell me, who do you belong to?"

Her movements slowed down, making you whine, frustrated tears in your eyes.

"Y-you. I belong to you Sam...! P-please 'm close..."

"That's right, you're mine. Mine to kiss, mine to love, mine to fuck." she picked up her pace again, hitting that spongy spot deep inside of you "I'm the only one who get to fuck your tight pussy. I'll kill everyone who would want to do it too."

You clenched around the faux cock at her words, your orgasm building.

"You're so pretty under me, your pretty pussy swallowing my cock like that... God, I wish I could fill you up with my cum..."

"F-fuck Sam... I- I'm gonna-"

"I know, cum for me" she cut you off, moving her thumb to rub tight circles on your clit

You moaned her name as your orgasm washed over you, back arching, legs shaking, eyes rolling back. Sam fucked you through it, only stopping her thrusts when she saw tears in your eyes from the overstimulation.

She looked at you tenderly and pulled out, eliciting a last moan from you, before kissing you softly.

"You did amazing baby. Such a good girl for me, hm?" she hummed against your lips

She stood up and put her pants back on, taking her black robe from off the floor, and started walking in the other room.

"Where are you going?" you asked, propping yourself on your elbows

"Getting tissues and bleach"

"For what?"

"Cleaning the mess you made on the couch" she replied with a smirk before disappearing in the kitchen "I wouldn't want the police to find you DNA on a crime scene"

You looked down at the couch below you and couldn't help but blush at the sight of your dripping pussy soaking the piece of furniture. You got up, looking for your underwear and pants before putting them back on.

Sam came back with bleach and handed you a sponge.

"What do I have to do this?"

"It's your mess baby, you clean it"

"But it's your fault if I made a mess"

"The faster it disappear, the faster we can go home and continue that properly"

She had a proud smirk, knowing you couldn't say no.

"... Okay give me the bleach"

#sam carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x fem reader #sam carpenter smut #scream

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hxzxrdous · 1 month

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The School for Good and Evil

Platonic Lady Lesso x Never!reader

TW: ANGST, HURT, I WAS PMSING WHEN WRITING THIS, D3@TH

Note: Maybe inspired by Supernatural because I became obsessed with this show.

Also if I cry everybody must cry.

I'LL COME BACK

Lady Lesso couldn't help but notice the way you were acting. You were soft and kind and you had this innocence that seemed foreign among your wicked peers. Even your smiles carried a certain purity that sent shivers down Lady Lesso's spine. She wondered if the School Master was even right to put you here.

One day a fight was happening in the hallway. Upon hearing the commotion, Lady Lesso's eyes narrowed as she swiftly made her way towards the source of the disturbance. The sight that greeted her chilled her to the core - you, battered and bruised, lying helpless on the cold floor. A wave of protectiveness washed over her, replacing the fear she'd previously felt around you.

"To dormitories, everyone!," Lady Lesso announced, tapping her cane against the floor to demand attention.

"Now!" Her voice boomed through the hallways, silencing the murmurs and gasps from the crowd. With a fierce determination, Lady Lesso scooped you into her arms.

Lady Lesso carried you to her office, placing you on her couch, she rummaged through closet looking for bandages. She looked back at you. The black eye that had been so prominent moments ago was now gone, replaced by smooth skin devoid of any injury. Your smile grew wider, radiating a warmth that seemed to pierce right through Lady Lesso's heart. "You... You healed yourself," Lady Lesso uttered softly, unable to conceal the admiration in her voice.

"Why did you do that, Y/N? Why not let me help you?" She asked, concern lacing every syllable.

"I don't know. Wasn't on purpuse." You shrugged.

Lady Lesso found herself captivated by the simplicity of your response.

"Well," Lady Lesso said, attempting to mask her curiosity, "it seems you possess abilities beyond my wildest imaginations. Now, rest here for a while," she instructed gently, watching as you complied without argument.

As you drifted off to sleep, Lady Lesso found herself once more transfixed by the enigmatic aura surrounding you. The faint glow emanating from your body seemed almost surreal, as though reality itself was bending beneath its ethereal touch. Shaking her head slightly, Lady Lesso dismissed the strange occurrence as fatigue or perhaps a trick of the dim lighting. Still, unease gnawed at her as she watched the sleeping figure before her.

Lady Lesso sat down next to you, touching your back when she felt a strange buldge. A jolt of shock coursed through Lady Lesso's veins as she discovered the unexpected sight beneath your hoodie. Iridescent white feathers, shimmering in the dim light of her office. Her mind raced with questions and possibilities, yet she remained rooted to the spot, too awestruck to move. She had encountered many peculiar individuals throughout her tenure at the School for Evil, but none quite like this.

With a mix of trepidation and fascination, Lady Lesso reached out tentatively to brush her fingers against the delicate wings. To her surprise, they felt surprisingly real and solid beneath her touch.

Holidays had come and gone, leaving behind a sense of renewal and rejuvenation amongst the students as they returned to their studies. As Lady Lesso entered the classroom, her gaze immediately sought out you, who appeared to be dozing off at your desk.

Lady Lesso approached you cautiously. She was torn between scolding you for falling asleep and offering support in whatever struggle seemed to be plaguing you. "Lady Lesso," you murmured softly, lifting your head slowly as if weighed down by unseen burdens.

The usually radiant smile was missing, replaced by an expression of profound sadness that tugged at Lady Lesso's heartstrings. Even worse, the light in those mesmerizing eyes had been extinguished, leaving behind a hollow void that mirrored the emptiness within your chest.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, rubbing your eyes as if trying to wipe away tears that refused to fall.

Kneeling down behind you, Lady Lesso gently rolled up the hem of your hoodie, revealing the cut wings. Well... 'the wings' that were no longer there. It was a painful sight that brought a wave of guilt crashing over Lady Lesso; she should've protected this precious angel better.

With a soft groan, you struggled to rise from the chair, your vision swimming and dizziness clouding your senses. As you reached out to steady yourself on your desk, Lady Lesso swiftly moved to intercept your collapse. Catching you in her arms, she held you close, concern etched across her features. "Lie down for a moment, Y/N," Lady Lesso coaxed gently, guiding you to rest against the cool wooden surface.

She tenderly brushed away a stray lock of your H/C hair from your forehead, feeling it. It was burning. Your whole body was burning. Your cheeks were red and sweaty.

Lady Lesso faced the horrible truth, there was nothing left to do but offer comfort in these final moments. You were dying. Drawn close to the you, she enfolded you in her arms, cradling you.

"I'll come back," – you whispered as the final ember of life flickered out like a candle.

Lady Lesso's fingers danced through the silken strands of your hair, stroking the delicate locks as if to commit them forever to memory. This tiny angelic presence had somehow breached the fortress walls surrounding her cold, calculating soul, implanting seeds of empathy and understanding that would bloom into an affection she could neither ignore nor contain.

Lady Lesso's tenderly closed your E/C eyes. You looked like you were only sleeping.

The School for Good and Evil built a statue of you. Positioned on the bridge that connected their school.

As Lady Lesso gazed upon the statue her senses heightened as she heard a cry. She searched for the source of it, behind a statue layes a newborn baby girl, wrapped in iridescent white wings that shimmered under the moonlight. She seemed to look up at Lesso and she smiled.

#lady lesso #lady lesso x reader #leonora lesso #sge netflix #leonora lesso x reader #the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #leonora lesso x reader platonic #lady lesso x reader platonic #charlize theron

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girlactionfigure · 5 months

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Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott was a Torah prodigy whose cleverness and chutzpah saved thousands of Jews from annihilation by the Nazis.

Born in a Polish shtetl in 1897, Reuven was one of fifteen children. His family were Hasidic followers of the Ger Rebbe.

Reuven’s exceptional intellect was apparent at a young age. He was a gifted scholar of Talmud and Jewish scripture, so precocious that he was given rabbinic ordination when only 17 years old.

The Rebbe took a special liking to Reuven, and every Friday night Reuven sat next to the great man at his festive Sabbath gathering. Small in size - he stood only 5’1” - Reuven was known for his big brain, and big heart.

Reuven was selected by his community to represent them as the Jewish voice on the local provincial council. When the Polish president died in the 1920’s, young Reuven stood at the graveside with other clergy and delivered a eulogy on behalf of the Jews of Poland.

Although life seemed fairly good for Polish Jews at the time, the Ger Rebbe sensed that big trouble was coming. He urged his followers to get out of Poland and move to Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel), at that time British Mandate Palestine.

As the Rebbe’s right-hand man, Rabbi Reuven Kott threw himself into the mission of helping Jews leave Poland and return to their ancestral homeland.

The British had a quota system restricting the number of Jewish families they let in. Reuven took advantage of a bureaucratic loophole defining “family” as two parents and an undetermined number of offspring.

Reuven collected money and bribed Polish authorities to get blank birth certificates. He would then “create” new families, matching people up, changing names and identities as needed. Every “family" had at least a dozen children.

Reuven told those he helped that they must stick with their fake identity. Most people complied, but a few didn’t and were caught. Under threat of being sent back to Poland, somebody gave Reuven’s name to the authorities.

Reuven and his brother were on a train in Warsaw when three plain-clothes officers approached. After verifying his identity, they arrested Reuven for bribery and forgery and threw him in jail. As a pious Jew, Reuven couldn’t eat the non-kosher jail food, so every day his daughter brought him a kosher meal - a two hour journey each way.

After several long months, his brother finally got word that there was going to be a hearing in the case. He went to visit Reuven in jail, told him the news and asked which lawyer he wanted to hire.

Reuven scribbled something on a scrap of paper, folded it up and slipped it through the bars of his cell. Outside the jail, Reuven’s brother unfolded the note. He was shocked to read the contents: “Hire me the most anti-Semitic lawyer in Warsaw!“

Reuven’s family was baffled. With so many top-notch Jewish lawyers, why would he want an anti-Semite? Had his incarceration led to a mental breakdown? Reuven’s brother assured them that he was of sound mind, and he went to Warsaw and found an attorney notorious for his fierce hatred of Jews.

The day of the hearing arrived, and the courthouse was packed with hundreds of Hasids from Reuven’s community. Reuven was allowed only three minutes with his lawyer, and then the hearing began.

To everybody’s shock, Reuven’s lawyer stood up, made a brilliant argument, and got the case dismissed.

Back home in the shtetl, everybody wanted to know what Reuven had said to his lawyer in those three minutes. Reuven said his Talmud study had taught him that in a business deal, if you get three “Yes” answers, the deal will close.

He asked his lawyer three questions:

- You hate us Jews, don’t you?

- Do you want to see me rot and die in jail?

- Would you like all of us Jews gone from Poland?

The lawyer answered yes to all three questions. Reuven immediately shot back, “What good would it do if one measly Jew rots in jail? If you set me free, I can get all the Jews out of Poland!”

Reuven got what he wanted by blinding the lawyer with his own hate. He continued his work “creating” large families and helping them move to Palestine. The anti-Semitic attorney even helped him procure more blank birth certificates. People often asked Reuven when he would go to Eretz Yisrael. He said, “I’m like the captain of a sinking ship. It is my responsibility to get all the passengers out before I get in the lifeboat.”

Over the course of 20 years, Reuven helped tens of thousands of Jews escape Poland. Today, almost half a million descendants of those Polish Jews owe their lives to Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott.

Unfortunately, Reuven himself never made it to Israel. He was murdered at Auschwitz in 1942.

For proving that one small man in three short minutes can accomplish miracles beyond measure, we honor Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott as this week’s Thursday Hero at Accidental Talmudist.

This story was told to us by Reuven’s granddaughter, Ziporah Bank. She heard it from her mom - the daughter who brought kosher meals to Rabbi Kott in prison.

Accidental Talmudist

#Yom Hashoah

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 7 months

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Yes, let's talk about "your" pronouns for a moment, because I have some thoughts on the matter...

What's that? Oh, silly me. By "let's talk about," what you actually mean is "unquestioningly comply with my demands."

Be that as it may, "we" - which is to say, "I" - am going to talk about it regardless.

Let's analyze this for a moment.

She gives the game away right up front: blue heart is for boys, pink heart is for girls. This ideology is based on stereotypes. If you still doubt this, I don't know what else to show you to convince you.

Secondly, her "gender" isn't a profound knowledge of personal identity, because it changes faster than the weather. I'm not even sure it's her personality, because anyone whose personality changes that rapidly and that wildly has some kind of severe disorder. What she's calling "gender" seems to be nothing but her mood.

Thirdly, and I keep having to repeat this, if your "gender" requires others to participate, then it's not a "deeply personal sense of self." Just like your faith cannot be "a personal relationship with Jesus" if everybody else has to pray or refrain from pointing out the flaws in the bible. "Gender is a social construct" means that your "gender" only "exists" to the extent people play along. People are sick of being bullied into pretending for narcissists.

More importantly, you don't get to make others participate and then deny them any say or input. You can't give people an obligation with no authority, because if you think you can, then others can give you an obligation with no authority.

And you don't get to make others responsible for your mental wellbeing, to carry the burden you cannot or will not, and then get angry when they don't meet your standards or decline the obligation at all. You are responsible for you. Trying to make other people responsible for your emotions or mental state is psychotic. Xians insist that humans - and particularly children - are responsible for keeping their god happy, evidently because he cannot do it himself. You're just as much of an immature psychopath. We are not responsible for keeping you from bursting like a fragile soap bubble.

You can have a personal, unquestionable conviction, or you can have a matter of public interest and discussion. As soon as you insist others participate, you forfeit the right to cordon your beliefs off from scrutiny. If you want your beliefs to go unmolested, then keep them to yourself.

If it's nobody else's business, don't make it other people's business. You can't claim your "gender" is nobody else's business, nobody else gets a say, and then insist it is their business to comply with these demands and prop the whole delusion up.

Private concern or public interest. Choose one.

Fourthly, anyone who comes up with rules like this is a sociopath who is trying to control, manipulate and trap others. Since third-person pronouns are used primarily when someone is not present, when referring to an individual when talking to others, this is a form of authoritarian thought-control. You do not get to dictate how others must see you or think of you. They get to decide for themselves what they think of you, regardless of whether or not you like it, and it's none of your business. And if your sense of self is so flimsy that you must coerce them to conform their view of you to your own view of yourself, then you have bigger problems than "your" pronouns.

When she walks into room, people stiffen because they have to talk like idiots around her - and that's part of the appeal. She wants to be "misgendered," because who is she if she's not a marginalized victim and the center of attention? That's the trick: either you comply, and she wins, or you refuse, and she gets to pretend to be a victim and she wins. Nobody's obliged to pay attention to these insane, imaginary rules, much less play along. When she's already gamed it to win no matter what, the only way for you to win is to retain your integrity and self-respect and tell the truth.

And finally, you do not have pronouns. The pronouns belong to the language, in this case, English. The English language has pronouns for you. You don't have your own pronouns any more than you have your own conjugations or your own adjectives. Other languages, such as German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Chinese and Japanese, have their own structures, and they're not for you to "fix" with your stupid activism.

And yes, languages change. They evolve through common usage and common acceptance, not through narcissists performing blunt-force creationism enforced with emotional manipulation and vilification.

She's an average, unremarkable girl who's found a socially acceptable way to control other people and pretend to be interesting.

My adjectives are amazing/brilliant/impressive.

Misadjectiving is hate. #BeKind

P.S. I miss the days when pink, green or blue dyed hair was a sign of rebellion and uniqueness, rather than a predictable trope and red flag that warns the world about all your views and opinions before you ever open your mouth. #MakeDyedHairCoolAgain

#gender identity #pronouns #pronoun culture #nonbinary #tell the truth #narcissism #gender ideology #intersectional feminism #gender identity ideology #malignant narcissism #queer theory #Be Kind #authoritarianism #woke authoritarianism #religion is a mental illness

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starryhologram · 1 year

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CCCC SCP AU MASTER POST

AKA I put Whole in the electric chair and everybody loved it

and renamed him Simon.

DISCLAIMER: This AU handles imaginary medical malpractice and imagery of outdated and misuse of execution and medical equipment and procedures. Real medical practice should not be demonized and feared. Also this does not follow any actual SCP Lore, it is only simply used as a base/jumping off point for my evil science fiction experiments.

SCP-3775

Item #: SCP-3775

Object Class: Euclid

Status: Contained Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3775 does not require any specific or strict containment procedures. If SCP-3775 begins to show any signs of distress or erratic behavior, SCP-3775 is to be moved to a 5m x 5m room while awaiting medical examination.

N/A See Addendum 3775-008, 3775-013, and 3775-019

SCP-3775 is to be contained within three conjoined 5m x 5m rooms. It is to be kept alive whether in state 3775-A or 3775-B. In state 3775-A SCP-3775 is to be monitored at all times to determine mental stability. SCP-3775 is to be kept physically restrained to a specially built wooden chair and electrocuted through electrodes fastened on the head through a screwed metal halo.

In state 3775-B three separate instances of SCP-3775 must be monitored.

Addendum 3775-008: SCP-3775-008 is to be kept alive with minimal monitoring but must be kept in the room furthest from SCP-3775-013. Failure to comply with containment procedures of SCP-3775-008 will result in potential harm to SCP-3775-013.

Addendum 3775-013: SCP-3775-013 is to be kept alive with moderate monitoring. SCP-3775-013 is permitted to interact within the same room as SCP-3775-019 under personnel supervision.

Addendum 3776-019: SCP-3775-019 is to be kept alive with strict and constant monitoring. Personnel assigned to SCP-3775-019 are instructed to wear protective noise cancelling headphones when interacting with SCP-3775-019. Personnel are instructed to not listen to any vocalizations from SCP-3775-019 under any circumstances. Other means of communication are permitted.

Description: In state 3775-A SCP-3775 appears to be an average white human male in his early twenties with curly black hair and brown eyes. Subject has been measured at 178 cm in height. Subject was born 20?? on ??????? ??th. Subject has no known living relatives at this time.

In state 3775-B, three instances of SCP-3775 exist.

SCP-3775-008 appears similar to SCP-3775 with exceptions such as missing eyes, replaced by hollow sockets which allow abnormal purple veins and bone structures to be exposed. Subject’s hair seems to become dyed purple towards the ends. Subject has irremovable purple coloration on its lips as well.

SCP-3775-013 appears similar to SCP-3775 with exceptions such as a total of five eyes that faintly glow a light blue color. Subject also features a luminescent organ similar to that of an esca as seen on the body of an Anglerfish. Subject’s hair seems to become dyed blue towards the ends. Subject has irremovable blue coloration on its lips as well.

SCP-3775-019 appears similar to SCP-3775 with exceptions such as what appears to be scar tissue along the right half of its body with epidermal red dots clustered around joints and around the eyes. Subject’s right eye is abnormal with a grey sclera and white iris and pupil. Subject’s left sclera is white with a red iris and black pupil. Subject’s hair seems to become dyed red towards the ends. Subject has irremovable red coloration on its lips as well.

Subject’s vocalizations sounds similar to that of an autotuned version of SCP-3775’s. It is hypnotic and [REDACTED]. Like one would imagine an [REDACTED] to sound like. It is impossible to resist to do as he commands.

SCP-3775-019 has been modified to have a welded metal muzzle to its face to prevent auditory vocal noise from coming from the subject.

History and Past Proceedings: The Foundation became aware of SCP-3775 due to widespread video circulation of music the subject created. Audience and viewers became enraptured with the music and upon listening were unable to function properly without the music playing in a conscious audio range.

Once obtained and studied, it appears no process in which SCP-3775 creates music is abnormal to that of any other modern musician.

After a prolonged period of time spent at the SCP Facility, SCP-3775 began to become distressed and showed signs of mental health decline, similar to that of severe clinical depression. Once the subject had hit a peak in its mental instability, it began to physically split into three instances of itself. This state shall be referred to as State 3775-B, the prior singular instance of SCP-3775 will be referred to as State 3775-A.

Accessing Past Data Records…

Old Survey Data Found…

Please fill out this Mandatory Personnel Survey if you have 1) Come into contact with SCP-3775 or any of its instances. 2) Listened to any audio/tonal/musical recordings created by SCP-3775.

Have you listened to any music created by SCP-3775 in the past 12 hours? Example Given: [CORRUPTED FILE CANNOT BE RECOVERED] ▫️Yes ▫️No ▫️I’m not sure Have you experienced any of the following symptoms upon listening to audio/tonal/musical recordings created by SCP-3775? ▫️Strong or irresistible urge to replay recording. ▫️Mental and/or physical inability to complete activities without auditory sensory input created by SCP-3775 ▫️Lapse in cognitive functions in favor of activities relating to SCP-3775, its instances or its music. ▫️Strong or irresistible urge to seek others affected by SCP-3775’s music. ▫️Mental fatigue that can only be cured by listening to SCP-3775’s music.

Do you grant permission for Foundation Personnel Staff to use your physical and psychological anatomical resources for further research of SCP-3775? Risks may include threat of bodily/emotional/mental harm. ▫️Yes ▫️No If Yes, please send additional information regarding Name, Address, Age, and other relevant details to [HYPERLINK NOT FOUND]

Thank you for completing this Mandatory Personnel Survey

S.C.P. Secure. Contain. Protect.

Accessing Past Data Record…

Audio Transcript File Found…

SCP-3775_Interview_15/11/2022.txt Interview Personnel (IP): “Interview recording date November 15th, 2022, 3:23 PM. Audio recording of [DATA_EXPUNGED] interview with SCP-3775.” SCP-3775: “You can call me [DATA_EXPUNGED] you know.” IP: “It is for easier assessment and research purposes that we identify you by your item number.” SCP-3775: Exhales forcefully. “I’m not a [EXPLETIVE] item.” %Sounds of shuffling.% IP: “Regardless, I simply need to have you do a test for me.” SCP-3775: “Fine.” IP: “I have here with me an ordinary electronic piano keyboard. Would you please demonstrate how you play it?” %Sounds of shuffling.% %A short melody is played on a keyboard.% IP: “What song was that?” SCP-3775: “It’s called The Mind Electric, its by a band I like.” IP: “Does it have lyrics?” SCP-3775: “Yeah, do you want me to sing it?” IP: “Please.” %The audio recording cuts out for a few moments.% IP: “Thank you. You play very well.” SCP-3775: “Yeah, thanks.” %Silence.% SCP-3775: “Are we done here? Can I go home?” IP: “We have to make sure the music you create- and yourself as a being- are safe to be interacted with. Do you know how your music affects people?” SCP-3775: “What? What’s so strange about people affected by my music?” IP: “Listeners tend to become irrationally obsessed with your music.” SCP-3775: “What? That isn’t even weird! Plus- what about all those musicians more popular than me? With obsessive fans! I can’t be the only one!” IP: “Please, calm down, it is for your safety that we study and assess this situation and that we take all precautions necessary for the best results.” SCP-3775: “No! I want to go home. You can’t keep me here!” IP: “End of interview recording.” Pause Play Time 5:54/5:54

Accessing Past Data Records…

Surveillance Notes Found…

SCP-3775_Surveillance_21/11/2022.txt No audio recording is provided alongside footage. Documentation Start Time 13:46:23 13:46:23 SCP-3775 is pacing the room. 13:53:12 SCP-3775 moves to sit on the bed. 13:53:40 SCP-3775 begins grasping at its sleeves in a self-soothing way. 13:58:25 SCP-3775 lays down on the bed in a fetal position. 14:01:32 [DATA EXPUNGED] enters the room. SCP-3775 makes no notion to acknowledge this. 14:01:58 [DATA EXPUNGED] stands next to the bed and looks down at SCP-3775. 14:02:45 [DATA EXPUNGED] calmly communicates verbally with SCP-3775. 14:03:00 SCP-3775 yells angrily in response. 14:03:03 [DATA EXPUNGED] retreats away from the bed defensively. His hands are open in a symbol of non threatening behavior. 14:03:05 SCP-3775 does not calm down, continues yelling, begins to grow more agitated. 14:03:07 [DATA EXPUNGED] makes his way towards the door. 14:03:11 SCP-3775 has stopped yelling. 14:03:12 [DATA EXPUNGED] yells back a short declaration assertively. 14:03:15 [DATA EXPUNGED] leaves the room. 14:03:20 SCP-3775 begins to cry violently, returning to its previous position on the bed. 14:19:53 SCP-3775 has stopped crying. 14:20:01 SCP-3775 stares at the ceiling. 14:45:27 SCP-3775 falls asleep. End notes of interest.

Accessing Past Data Records

Surveillance Notes Found…

SCP-3775_Surveillance_25/11/2022.txt Audio transcript provided alongside footage. Documentation Start Time 18:37:15 18:37:15 SCP-3775 sits on its bed, holding itself tightly while breathing heavily. 18:37:20 SCP-3775 lets out a scream of desperation. 18:37:26 SCP-3775 begins to move erratically. 18:37:38 [DATA EXPUNGED] enters the room. 18:37:40 [DATA EXPUNGED]: “Hey! What are-.” 18:37:41 SCP-3775 screams again. 18:37:43 [DATA EXPUNGED] draws a stunning device. 18:37:44 The visual feed cuts out. [DATA EXPUNGED] screams. 18:38:07 The visual feed is restored. Four figures are now in the room. Three look like SCP-3775. [DATA EXPUNGED] is lying on her back on the ground. She stands up slowly. 18:38:10 The Red SCP-3775 clone (?) points at [DATA EXPUNGED]. “Get out.” It says 18:38:11 [DATA EXPUNGED] leaves the room hurriedly. 18:38:20 Red SCP-3775 looks to Blue SCP-3775 and Purple SCP-3775. It says “Well, you two look fine. We should get out of here.” Blue SCP-3775 and Purple SCP- 3775 nod accordingly. 18:38:30 The three SCP-3775s leave the room. Access of hallway cameras denied. 18:57:04 Only the Red SCP-3775 is dragged back into the room by multiple personnel wearing noise canceling headphones. 18:57:47 Red SCP-3775 is restrained with a loose straight jacket and a high tech deafening muzzle with red armature limbs attached. 18:57:53 Red SCP-3775 begins kicking the Personnel. 18:57:55 Personnel tazes Red SCP-3775. 18:57:56 The visual feed cuts out. 18:58:20 The visuals feed returns. SCP-3775-A is sitting where Red SCP-3775 was, but is no longer wearing the muzzle or straight jacket. 18:58:30 Personnel leave. End notes of interest.

Accessing Past Data Records…

Surveillance Notes Found…

SCP-3775_Surveillance_08/12/2022.txt Log following updated securement protocols of SCP-3775 in State 3775-A. Audio transcript provided alongside footage. 06:03:02 SCP-3775-A is put into a medically induced unconscious state while sleeping. 06:20:07 Six metal screws are drilled into SCP-3775-A’s skull. 06:30:35 A metal halo is fastened to the screws. 06:48:24 SCP-3775-A is placed into a wooden chair with metal conductors attached to the top. 06:50:46 SCP-3775-A is secured with leather straps to the chair, and the conductor is mounted to the metal halo. 06:51:13 SCP-3775-A is removed from the medically induced unconscious state, but does not wake up immediately. 07:12:41 SCP-3775-A begins to wake. 07:13:03 SCP-3775-A pulls at it restraints. “Hey.” It says. “Hey, what the [EXPLETIVE]?” It then seems to notice the metal halo, and reacts in horror. “Holy [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]. What the [EXPLETIVE] have you done to me? What the [EXPLETIVE]?” It continues to curse under its breath and begins to cry. 07:13:40 Three Foundation Personnel wearing noise cancelling headphones and general protective gear enter the room, and silently give a signal to an observing personnel not present in the room. 07:13:45 The lights flicker as the chair is activated. SCP-3775-A screams. 07:13:47 A terrible ripping sound is heard, like flesh being torn. It is difficult to describe what happens to SCP-3775-A’s body. It appears as though it is turned inside out. It begins at the chest area and folds outwards. The chair disappears alongside SCP-3775-A as SCP-3775-B emerge. The three look just as horrified as SCP-3775-A. 07:14:09 The three personnel move to detain each instance of SCP-3775-B, removing SCP-3775-008 (Purple) and SCP-3775-013 (Blue) and remove them immediately, placing them in a separate room. 07:15:10 SCP-3775-019 (Red) stands alone in the room with one last Personnel.

07:15:20 The Personnel speaks, as SCP-3775-019 is still wearing the muzzle and loose straight jacket. “You would find it wise to not be any trouble. You are here for the safety of the world, and we will not hesitate to cut your tongue if necessary.” 07:15:25 The Personnel leaves, 07:15:50 SCP-3775-019 sits down on the ground and stares into the wall. This continues for several hours. End notes of interest.

Accessing Updated Data Records…

Experiment Notes Found…

SCP-3775_Experiment_26/07/2023.txt Documentation Start Time 20:14:46 20:14:46 SCP-3775 is administered a sedative, causing it to lose consciousness. 20:14:50 Personnel enter SCP-3775’s containment cell, remove it from its chair and place it on a metal operating table. 20:15:02 [REDACTED] prepares SCP-3775 for incision. 20:15:33 [REDACTED] opens SCP-3775’s neck using metal grade scalpel, inspecting its vocal chords. 20:18:21 [REDACTED] administers [DATA EXPUNGED] directly into SCP-3775’s vocal chords. *Editorial Note: [REDACTED] notes that the organ had become inflamed almost immediately, noting an abnormally sensitive reaction to the serum. 20:20:46 [REDACTED] closes up the incision and personnel return SCP-3775 to its chair. 20:21:35 Personnel leave. End notes of interest. For further reading of Experimental log visit [HYPERLINK].

#cccc #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #starryart #cj heart #cj soul #cj mind #cj whole #art #drawing #sketch #SCP #loosely based on SCP lol #copied this from discord so some spoiled texts are now revealed :(#tw gore #tw body horror #cjverse chatroom #cccc scp au

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hirik0 · 3 months

Text

Desiered by the gods part 1

AlphaGodGhost/OmegaSacreficeSoap/AlphaGodRoach | Omegaverse

Ten years of war, ten hard years of war. A famine is now one bad harvest away, many Alphas dead by now. It is a desaster and the people are getting angry with the crown. Alpha King Shepard at this point is only intressted in securing the throne. He looks at his most loyal Knight the Alpha Phillip Graves giving orders.

"I dont care how you make the Omega priests to complie just do it", Shepard is ordering and Graves heart is dropping. He still bows down and leaves the throne saal. The oldest priests will not give in lightly to this. Hes not even sure they have a Omega for what they are planning. He walks out the courtyard towards the temples. This can't go on, if needed Shepard has to go, his King and the Emporer of the North are in rivalry and bound in hatred for each other for decades and everybody but the rulers are suffering. He remembers what Baron Price and Barrones Laswell said, for the kingdom to survive the King has to go and he slowly is at the point where he is agreeing. Mainly to secure his own place in the high society, being close to the King is not smart anymore. His Shadows, suffering under the constant attacks of Makarovs Konni unit. He's lucky he meets nobody on the way, the peasants are not holding back the hostility and aggressive towards the crown and its loyalist anymore. When he enters the main building of the temple he sees priestess Farah, talking with a family with a baby, he stays back, don't understand the words but hears the desperation in the voice of the mother. The baby is likely sick and dying like so many of them by now. He stays in the shadows let Farah handle the situation, because his presence could easily escalate a already desprate situation. The mother starts to cry, to whaile in agony, when Farah is shaking her head a pained expression on her face. Maybe Shepards plan is not that insane anymore. The next generation is dying and it would be a save way to end the war. The mother is falling to her knees her pain to strong yo keep standing. A daily tragegy by now, mother trying ot find a way to save their dying children, fathers and sons that never come home again. Soilders fall to protect their families from war and lose them to nature. Farah is saying something to the woman, but shes jsut screaming at her, not understandable over the pain shes feeling. He sees the anger for a short moment on Fahras face and he understands that is is likely not the first mother, she cant help in this war. Farah is leavin the building signaling him to folow her and he does.

"Kight Graves", she greets him, while they walk towards the temple of the sea goddes.

"Priestes Farah" She looks at him learning from the tone of his voice he has bad knews.

"What does youre majesty wants?", she aks coldly, a flare of anger in her jasmin scent.

"He wants the high priest to to a special ritual to win the war", he explains, they rush throw the halls of the goddes.

"With what resurces?", she asks him.

"Its, an omega for the war god", Graves explains what he understood, Farah stops, her eyes wide, color leaving her face.

"He cant be serious, its not so bad for that and to the war god? The only god know to never having an Omega? The god told to fall in love with powerfull Alpha soilders, that god?" Farah has a point here.

"Its about the slic." Farahs mouth dropps open at this.

"Alpahs will lose their mind if they smell an Omega chossen to serve the gods, this will be just as dangerous for our troops as the enemies", she hisses, the King is mad and desprate a dangerous compination.

"What do you mean?", Graves asks confused.

"An Omega must smell so good that even the gods get tempted, it can cause a mortal Alpha go into feral, violent rut and they will fight to death to get this Omega, against everyone they see. This is insane, the smell is so powerfull it can even override a bond. Hes mad, Graves, your serving an mad man." Farah explains getting more and more angry at this. The whole weight of what the King is asking him to do crashing down on him. He would have to remove all Shadows from the main battelfield, he will not sacrefice them for this.

"What about true mates?", Graves asks atleast its said nothing an break the bound of true mates. Farah huffes looking at him as if hes dumb.

"It's the most powerfull Omega scent you can ever smell, not even a true made could save you from going mad." She scolds him disgusted, her smell now filled with a sour under tone.

"What if its only a hint of the smell?" She gives him an angry look, a constand smell of rage slowly erasing her jasim scent. He is testing her patients and she dont need to answer him. With the look on her face its clear there is no save dosis with how potent the smell is.

"The temple cant be use for weeks to make sure every trace of the omega scent is faded. Gets heavely cleaned every day till its demend save to use for Alphas again." Farah explains, before they reach their goal the living buildings of the temple area.

The talk was long and fruitless. The only one wanting to do this is the King himself. Graves feels miserable, knowing what happens to the Omega feels wrong. Learning the full truth about the ritual left a bad feeling behind. Its truely a cruel fate to who ever is chosen. He needs to talk with Baroness Laswell and Baron Price, before he returns to the King. In the end Shepard will force everyone to participate, but maybe they can delay it for a just a short while. He walks straight towards the district Laswell lifes in. Laswell born into a long line of fabric traders, that is bringing a lot of wealth in the kingdom and took over the buisness as the only heir with a lot of reservation from her father to give the buisness to a Beta. Her best friend Baron Price is from a long line of Knights that are loyal to the country but rarely to the ruler. The Price family is very popular with the common people.

Together the two are in opposite to the King in the council and a pain to work with, normaly. But with him now rethinking his loyaltis working with these two is likely the smartes move he can make. Graves knows he has to push his own problems with the two aside for now. He walks the street only a few people are outside their homes. They all look, aged beyond their years, the war making some of them to a husk. Eyes dull, no hope left, grieve about losing multiple family members, he don't want to know how the people in the countryside look, if that's how the people living in the city look like. Not to forget this is one of the better districts, the situation in the poor parts gone from barely a live worth living to absolute apocalyptic. He walks up to the Laswells small town villa, knocking at the door. A young maid is opening, her face lost the youthfulness.

"Yes?", she asks him, watching him over assecing if she should close the door in his face or not.

"I need to talk with Lady Laswell, its urgent", Graves explains, she rolls his eyes, she likey figured that our already.

"And who am I to announce to the Lady?", she asks nervously as if she's having the position not that long.

"Sir Phillip Graves." With that the young Omega is letting him in and tells him to wait in the salon. He dont bother to sit down, Kate will be here soon enough to get him out of here as fast as possible without being rude. He hears footsteps echoing through the entrance hall and Kate swiftly walks in the room.

"Graves", she greats him coldly not liking how grimme Graves is looking.

"The King is getting desprate and he will force the priest to perform a ritual, they are against." He explains his viste. Kate is pressing her lips together, her gaze darkening.

"Which ritual?" She needs more information. Probably also assecing if this s a ploy Graves is laying out infront of her.

"Omega sacrifice to the gods. He also wants to use the slick from the Omega on the battlefield." The face of the Baroness is turning pale, she claws at her dress. Graves would never lie about something this urgent.

"He's insane", she wispers in the silent room, waiting for Graves to disagree, being genuine suprised at him nodding. The front door opens and they hear somebody enter.

"Kate I'm... what's he doing here?", Kates protégé John MacTavish is asking. The Omega not hiding his dislike for the Alpha Knight.

"Johnny", Graves greats the Omega big smile on his face knowing that he absolutely hates being called that. Soap presses his jaws together to not say anything unwise. Displeasure slipping in his rose scent.

"Behave both of you." The Beta is scolding both of them. No fighting on her house, they can do it outsite of the front door if they have too.

"You will inform Price about what we just talked about? I still have to report back to the King", Graves asks, knowing no to overstay the littel hospitality he's given.

"I will", she agrees and with that the Alpha is leaving her house, leaving the worry he brought with him here. Soap looks at the Baroness, Graves viste means bad news, really bad news.

"Why was he here?", Soap ask knowing he will get a dismissive answer at best.

"Bringing bad news Soap." Soap sents get a flare of annoyance in his scent he figured out that much himself. Kate is asking herself if she should send Soap home to his family. He insisted on staying over the war to complete his training, but she has this bad feeling, now. Soap knows that look on her face, she's thinking of sending him back home.

"I will not leave", he tells her and he sees tears in her eyes. What ever bad news means they must be really bad for this reaction. A littel stone is forming in his stomach, maybe he should viste his family if she ask him to do so.

Soap, is the youngest and only Omega of 5 siblings. Born into a powerful clan up north in the parts that dont belong to the Empire, with so different rules about how to be a proper Omega. Sent here to learn to become a good trader to profit the clan. Hes now living 12 years with the Baroness from the 20 he's suposed to learn from her. He rarely allows himself to go back home, the feeling if not fitting in at home getting stronger the longer he stays here. His best friend is Kyle Garrick, the adopted son of Baron John Price. The Beta training hard to become an excellent Knight just like his father, only survivor of his childhood home being attack by bandits. At the moment they try to listen what both their parental figure are talking about in Kates office. Ears pressed against the wooden door. They both now its useless, the door being made to make eavesdropping impossible.

"Graves told it to her personally?", Gaz asks about what happend earlier again, disbelieve still strong in his voice. Must be really bad for Graves to consider working with Lady Kate and Price.

"Yes, Kate cried." Gaz frowns trying to put the informations togehter. They fall over when the door is opend suddenly and they sheepishly look up at their mentors parental figure.

"Bit to old for this to happen", Kates comments their behaviour, a thight smile that not reaching her eyes. She reallly taught Soap better then this.

"Not to forgett you know the door is sound proofed", Price reminds them. The two are getting up looking at the floor, Soaps face blushing in embarrassment.

"Also what you tried could be considered spying on the council." With that Soap and Gaz mumbel one apology after the nother. Getting a amused smile out of Price and another head shake from Kate. Children both of them thinking fondly.

"We, need to talk with you about this, especailly Soap", Kate tells them a grim look on the face damm the rules. The stone in Soaps stomach is growing, understanding why Kate wants him to viste his family, the situation is getting so bad that its better to sent him with incompleated training home then the faith of death with how worried they look. The two young men are sitting down on the couch, Kate sits down on on a arm chair, while Price paces up and down infront of the fire place.

"As Soap already told you Graves visted and he brought bad news. The King will force the priest to perform a specific ritual." Kate starts to explain and Soaps mouth is getting try. King , force and specific ritual are word you never want to hear in one sentence. A cold feeling running down his spine.

"He wants to sacrafice an Omega to the gods. From the few thinks that are know to the public is not very much, but also very concerning. An Omega is choosen, by qualification unknown to us and forced to get an unnatrual heat. Their scent becomes so strong that not even a god can resist the temptation, but the Omega dies. A live of an Omega for the help of the gods." Gaz is nodding along, its not that bad of a trait one Omega against help from the gods, its a good trade, what is the life of one against an whole army. Price as if he knows what his son is thinking stops pacing, shaking his head.

"Its not a good trade, and there are a few stroies telling that the gods did not ecapted the ofer, its a slow and painfull dead", Price conters the toughts of the young Beta.

"If the scent is this tempting, what happend if a non god is smeeling it?", Soap asks, dreading the answer, the stone heavy and nausea spreading. The feeling he knows from story told by his grandmother when he was a child. An Omega smelling so good driving every Alpha into madness.

"Madness", Kate answeres and Kyle is putting the pieces slowly together. Soaps scent chages to absolute terror, hes not even angry about losing controll over his scent like this.

"So if you would use the scent on a battel field, it would be a masacare", Kyle concludes, voice heavy and his face turning pale.

"Yes", Price confirms and Soap dont dare open his mouth anymore. He will likely puke all over the floor if he does.

"Not to forget the few survivers also would to be killed, because no one that deep into being feral rud is coming back", Kate brings up, Soap is not listening anymore. The horribel realistion washing over him, turning his scent in something extreamly unpleasent because Price opening a window. The sour smell of a distresst Omega filling the room. Like the sky is blue and the sun is rising he knows that its him. He wants to melt in the couch cusions.

"The council?" Gaz asks them, luckly not being able to smell anything as a Beta.

"From the 12 only we and Graves are against it. Its unsure if we an get three more on our site." Price explains starting to pace again infront of the window.

"Many have Omega children, but the chances that one gets picked are small, but many just want the war to end and willing to give up of their children." Kates makes the situation even worse.

Kyle know that something is wrong with Soap. The out going Omega is pulling back further with every passing day. He also knows his best friend is worried ever since they were told the Kings plan. He cant watch Soap being this worried any longer. He can escort his best friend home and hide him till its save to return, he just needs a bit help from some their mutal friends. Hes walking over the market place, the ones overflown booths now only have the necesaties on display. The war reached the capital last summer. He walks into Farah whos in a discousion with one of the fabric traders.

"Do you understand how expensive this is?", the trader is asking her, looking at her as if she had two heads. Kyle frowns, keeping his distance observing their interaction with intresst and worry.

"Its on order of the King, so you dont have to worry about the pay", Farah answers him, she needs the fabric.

"This fabric was already expensive before the war and from the Empire getting one is nearly impossible now", the trader explains making Farah think. She needs a good alternetive then. Fabric thin as air and in a crimson red, they told her no other fabric is aceptable for the war god.

"You have an alterative?", Farah asks, becasue this could be a small act of rebelion the priestes can get away with. A chance of sabotaging the Kings efforts a tiny bit.

"Well getting other the fabric as the one you're asking for is no problem, there are a lot of diffrent silks, the problem is the color. The dye is hard to get and even harder to use. If you are insisting on the color then there is non." Disapointment is sneaking in Farahs scent.

"You have a red just as bright?", Farah asks, sure the King is forcing them, but shes unsure if hes willing to pay this much for fabric that will profit the enemies econemy non the less.

"It is the best red dye we know of, no other red is as vibrant." Farah sighs at this, she can only hope the other parts that orderd to get for the sacrafice are as hard to get has the fabirc. If they atleast already had an Omega so the simstress could know how many fabric she needs.

"I can maybe get a few meters, but three whole bolts? Impossible." Kyle frowns why do they need that expensice fabric and why so much? Farah is thanking the trader before walking away, worry on her face. He jogs up to her.

"Farah", he greets her, making her flinch with how deep shes in trapped in her head.

"Kyle"; she greets him, the worry not leaving her voice or scent.

"What was this about?", Kyle ask her not hidding he watched her interaction.

"I dont know what you mean"; she dismisses him she cant talk with Kyle about this.

"What do you need this fabric for?", he dont lets up. The Omega is rolling her eyes at him.

"Cant talk with you about it, Kyle", she tells him this must be about the sacrafice.

"Soap is worried", Kyle tells her instead of pressing further for now.

"Soap, our walking sunshine?", Farah asks frowning pressing her jaws together. Worry clauding her scent now.

"Yes, its because the thing you cant talk about", Kyle explains his suspicion and that he knows about whats going on.

"How do you know about this?", Farah hisses pulling him in a site street. Shes pretty sure only 10 people know about the preparations.

"Graves told Kate and father, who told us, because you know Soap is also an Omega so he can make the choice to viste his family", Kyle explains to her hushed. The Preistres relaxing at this, meaning their are no rumors on the streets yet.

"Does he thinks hes getting chosen?", Farah asks him and Kyle nods. Her heart drops at this, she only ever thought about a poor faceless Omega but now she only can see Soap.

"What are the chances, we even find a worthy one and its Soap", Farah says sceptical more to calm herself down then being convinced, getting a shurg out of Kyle. They nearly dont here the steps aproching them.

"Gaz, Farah?", Alex Keller is asking them. Looking from one to the other noticing the worried faces. The Beta is frowning, this are bad news. The young nobel returend from the battelfield after he lost one of his legs.

"Alex", they both greet him, trying to hide that something is going on. Poorly because they are visible in a site street talking in hushed voices.

"Whats going on?", Alex asks them but they both shake their head, this is not a talk for a site street near the market. The three walk towards a small pont hiding in an hollow old widdow.

"The King is a mad man and wants to scarefice an Omega to the gods", Kyle give a short run down. They see Alex processing the information his face going from confused, to concernd to paniced.

"What?", he aks more to say somrthing then to really ask them.

"I need to get a specific fabric, Hadir and Livia are getting juwelery and special oils." Farah explains whats happening in the temples to her friends. They are already in preparations for everythink so the moment they have an Omega everything an go as quick as possible. So no spy can report fast enough of what they are planning.

"At least they will look good, while they die", Kyle says grimmly.

"Kyle", Farah hisses the we maybe talking about Soap stays unspoken.

"What, Im not wrong", Kyle hisses back, they will look good if they wear expensive shit.

"Wait the Omega dies?", Alex asks now understanding why his two friends are that concerned.

"Yes and Soap thinks its him." Kyle shares his informations. So thats why Soap is so sad looking at the moment.

"Well good luck to the god, because Soap will talk back and insult them", Alex jokes but the other two dont fell like laughing.

"If the gods dont want the Omega they die for nothing", Farah explains and Alex face drops, bad time for a joke.

"What happens if the gods take them?" Ales ask unsure, how are they suposed to know it worked when Soap dies either way.

"We dont know, besides they will do what asked for", Farah explains.The friends sharing worried looks. They can not lose Soap, he makes this war a bit more bearable.

"So we need to get him out right?" Is all that Alex says because losing Soap is not an option.

The council meeting is an absolute shit show as to be acepcted. The King, angry at them for the status of the war, when nobody really can do anything about it. Them begging the King, to pull Betas from the front to attent to the fields. The same disgusion as always, Laswell, Price and Graves, on edge waiting for the King to drop the big bomb.

"Order, order", Shepard yells and everybody is going silent. Graves, feels his heart drop. Its time and they need to get 3 people on their site for it to be pushed to the next meating atleast. To buy a littel more time.

"We will ensure the victory of the war with the help for the gods, for that I need ALL of you to work on makign the ritual work." Shepard looks towards Laswell and Price at this, knowing these two will be his worst problem, not knowing that one of his most loyal knights is about to switch sites. Some members are squirming in their seets, they cant give anymore, they are at the limit for years by now.

"We will sacrafice an Omega to the war god and ask him to help us win the war." Graves wants to throw up when he sees how so many change from worried to relaxed, what is one Omega to them, aparently nothing.

"What if it dosent work and the Empire does the same? And is sucessfull" Kate asks the King already having everything ready to get Soap out the country to night. The King makes a dismissive hand gesture with his plan it wont be of concern. No god can proteced you from going mad, by the most tempting Omega. The suport on of a god is not even his main concern its to get the sick.

"It will be a sucess." Shepard simply states his first yes men already nodding along, very prominent Graves is not. There is no going back now the 3 of them now damed to work together. Price feels dread at this, the King is to sure off this.

"What if the gods rejects the Omega?" Graves asks he and Farah looked in the archives for what happends besides the Omega dying a slow and painfull death. The King looks at him understanding Graves is ready to chage site if needed. Keeping his anger for that betray at bay, he will deal with Graves later.

"They cant." Graves keeps his knowledge hidden if he stays silent he can play this of as being concerd over the plan failing.

"How do we even find the right Omega? We surely cant just grap on off the streets", Countess Valeria Graza points out, she is considering suporting the plan under cetain circumstances.

"The priest will find a worthy Omega." The Kind simply stattes he himself never thought about this, what if they dont find one? Well his Kingdom is big and there must be atleast one. Valeria frowns at this, thinking if she would give up one of her servents onder such vague terms. She eyes Graves, who never would ask question he at least suspect the answer. Honestly Graves of all people may being against it, is all the prove she needs to not suport this.

"So you already have candidates for us to look at?", Laswell asks, knowing the answer is no even with the King already sending out priests to gather everything needed for the ritual thanks to Kyle, Farah and Alex.

"A few promesing ones yes." Shepard lies he knows he only needs to play it of well enough to get the everyone else on his site. What are three traitors gone do? Start a rebelion?

"Who?" Price asks knowing the King will make up an excuse.

"This is secret till everything is ready to go. Cant risk a spy finding out about this, no?" Kate grinds her theets at this, how dare he using her own concerns as a smokescreen.

"Would the family or employer of the choosen one get compensation after the war?" Barron Westers asks greed in his eyes. The Baron would sell his own mother for profit. The King thinks about it he dont want to, but if it get more peopel on his site its a bit of honey for them.

"Of course." Graves clentches his jaw yeah this will get most people on the Kings site, greed a to big motive.

"The priest can look at all my Omega children and pesants." The first member pledges his agreement.

"And my too." The next voice their suport. A few still think about it, but especaly the one with land in the poorer parts of the kingdom cant really temped a good amount of gold coming their way. Graves looks at Valeria he thinks shes not thinking about it, made up her mind. So they are four they need two more, to stall one more week. To give everyone that does not agree to sent their Omega servents to safty.

The King knows he cant give everyone to much time to think and especally not to talk. Laswell and Graves can honeyy up everyone in this room, with enough time. He cant give them any time to mendel with the other nobels in the room. This is an urgent matter so he simply can make them vote right now.

"All in favor raise youre hand." HE bellows and sees 7 hands up in the air, its a close win.

"All not in favor." Graves, Laswell, Price and Graza raise their hand.

"Undesidet?" One hand, not that the Count could change anythink, it would still be 7 vs 5, 8 vs 4 would fell better but he cant risk a second vote where his suporters may change sites. And now to punich the traitors, Graves is easy sending the Shadow to the most deadly front parts.

"We start at with Barroness Laswell." He stattes a smug satesfection spreading through hos body. He will make something up to not pay her if one of her servents is choosen. Finally he can crush the Laswell family, they are questioning the royal family for to long. Kate keeps her posture, as long as they dont show up today, she can get Soap to safety, that is her only prioraty for now.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #call of duty modern warfare ii #kate laswell #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #alex keller #johnny soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #omega soap #alpha roach #alpha ghost #omegaverse #ghostsoaproach #phillip graves #general shepherd

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josefavomjaaga · 3 months

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Napoleonic daily soap - special. Bonn, December 1795

I'm not sure if anybody still remembers the idea of a napoleonic daily soap. Briefly, I was quite fascinated by the idea but, as usual, I got quickly distracted. By that time, I had begun a little "special", featuring an event unrelated to Napoleon. Because, after all, the napoleonic saga is so much more than only one monsieur Bonaparte.

I had gotten halfway through the plot before I broke off. Now I've finished it - rather hastily and badly, but finished, and I'm posting it in case somebody is still interested. It's heavily inspired by some real complaints found in German sources 😋.

-.-.-

Napoleonic daily soap, special 1 – what was everybody else doing at the time [i.e.: September/November 1795]?

-.-.-

[Scene: Bonn. The Council Room/Ratsstube of the pub located in the town hall’s basement [that every German town hall seems to have]. Darkened wood lining the walls, carved ceiling, heavy oak furniture. Some dozen town officials, visibly well-off members of the local bourgeoisie in old-fashioned 18th century overcoats, gold watch chains hanging out of their waistcoats, are drinking and chatting happily]

[Mayor, raising his glass]:

"Gentlemen, we have every reason to be satisfied. The French army of the Rhine has continued its retreat." [Applause, town officials knocking on the table, cheering.] "The French headquarter has left our beloved Bonn for good. No longer will French soldiers rob our peasants, squeeze the money out of our working class and misappropriate the contents of the city's coffers."

[Town official, interrupting]

"Damn right! After all, that’s our job!" [Laughter, more cheering]

[Door opens. Kinzinger enters, an open letter in his hand.]

[Kinzinger]

"Don’t you rejoice too soon, gentlemen!"

[Mayor]

"Herr Kinzinger, you’re late for this meeting of the city council. Where have you been?"

[Kinzinger, handing him the letter]

"I was kept up by a courier who brought me this. Apparently, the French are returning."

[Groaning all along the table. The mayor hastily studies the letter]

[Mayor]

"The corps of one general Lefebvre will be stationed in our region … some brigadier general is even supposed to stay in our town … soldiers to be quartered in private houses … officers to be lodged and fed at the town’s expenses …"

[Town official]

"The usual, obviously."

[Mayor, gets agitated]:

"And there we have it. This brigadier general is not even here yet but already sends ahead a list of what he wants to be delivered to his personal cook on his entry into town."

[Town official sarcastic]:

"Efficient. What does he ask for?"

[Mayor, eyes bulging]

"He demands – get this: 12 pounds of ox meat, one mutton, half a calf, vegetables, white bread, chicken …" [some of what he reads is lost in a flurry of upset murmurs in the audience] "… coffee and sugar."

[Town officials all talking over each other]

"Outrageous – what sort of glutton is this? - this guy must weigh a ton! - do we really have to comply with this?"

[Kinzinger]

"We’ve had some bad guys here already but that one seems to be the worst so far."

[Mayor, knocks on the table calling for silence]

"Gentlemen, I say we must not put up with this. It is time to reign those Frenchmen in. We have met the demands of those French officers long enough. That's the last straw." [Cheers, applause and approval] "We will let this general …" [checks the letter] "... Soult know that the city’s coffers are empty, that the town’s resources are exhausted, that the things he asks for are nowhere to be found and that he has to come up with another way to indulge in his culinary vices."

-.-.-

[CUT to Soult’s office in Bonn. His younger brother Pierre is standing at attention before his desk.]

[Soult, confused]

"What do you mean you’re not going to stay here with me? You’re my aide de camp."

[Pierre]

"That does not mean I have to always sleep under the same roof as you, right? I mean, I will show up for my job, obviously. But Jean, I’d really love to have some time for myself occasionally."

[Soult stares]

[Pierre]

"Look, the only thing that will be different is that I won’t be there for dinner."

[Soult, aghast]:

"You will even eat elsewhere?"

[Pierre]

"You will barely notice! You always invite half of our officers to dinner…"

[Soult]

"For good reason. I want to have my people close by. At least then I know where they are and that they are not committing any excesses or stupidities in town on that evening. Which reminds me: Where precisely do you plan on staying in Bonn?"

[Pierre, a bit embarrassed]

"There’s a house close to the city gate."

[Soult's eyes narrow]

"You would not be talking about the one on the left side of the road? The one with the red paper lanterns in all its windows?"

[Pierre regards a corner of the room with great interest]

[Soult]

"You have to be kidding me!"

[Pierre]

"Look, Jean…"

[Soult]

"That’s general Jean to you, monsieur!"

[Pierre]

"I’m 25, okay? Plus, technically, it’s just another kind of inn. The rooms are clean and comfy, the girls are very nice, the food is excellent …"

[Soult]

"You’re staying at a brothel because of the food? When we have our own cook? Wait until Perrou hears about that!" [stares at Pierre]

[Pierre stares back]

[Soult, exasperated]

"Just so you know, I am appalled! And Perrou will be even more so! Do I really need to explain to you what an impression those good Germans will have when they see one of our sous-lieutenants, who is not only an ADC to the commanding general but also closely related to him, openly stay at a brothel? I do not have words to express my disappointment. This idea is outrageous. You're giving the French army a bad name by such behaviour. Even worse, you're giving me a bad name. You make us look like insatiable womanizers, you're confirming all the prejudice the Germans may have about French vices. How could you even dream about staying at a house of bad reputation?"

[Pierre, matter-of-fact-ly]

"I understand that, as brothels go, it actually has a very good reputation. The girls say that all important town officials are customers. The rooms are incredibly cheap, I'll have one all to myself, unlike when I’m quartered in town and can congratulate myself if I do not have to share the bed with some grenadier. And as a long-term client, I’ll get drinks and services at a discount."

[Soult]

"There’s a discount?"

[Pierre]

"I’m sure I could get my friends and family included into that."

[Soult]

"That does not make it any less outrageous."

[Pierre]

"True. But can I go now?"

[Soult]

"Unfortunately, you’re a grown up. I do not have any legal means to hinder what you do in your freetime."

[Pierre]

"Thank you, you’re the best big brother ever!"

[Soult, grim]:

"I may get back to you about that discount. And if Mum finds out, you’re on your own. I’m not covering up for you!"

[As Pierre turns to leave, the door opens. Soult’s cook Perrou enters the room.]

[Soult]

"Ah, Perrou, good you’re coming. We will be one person less for dinner tonight. And apparently all through the rest of our stay in Bonn. You can rearrange your plans for the meals accordingly."

[Perrou, furious]

"I’m sorry to say, general, but I fear there will not be any meals. At all. The town magistrate has refused to send anything for my kitchen. Am I supposed to conjure up dinner for everybody out of thin air?"

[Soult]

"What du you mean, refused?"

[Perrou]

"They flat out say there is no food in town."

[Soult, glares]

"They are trying to starve us. This means war. - Pierre?"

[Pierre, hastily]

"You already said I could leave for my inn…"

[Soult]

"You can. But make a quick detour. To the town hall."

-.-.-

[CUT to town hall. Kinzinger sitting behind a wooden desk. Pierre Soult standing in front of him. Both are engaged in a discussion that obviously has been going on for a while.]

[Pierre]

"I truly fail to understand you. A French army is quartered in your town. Of course the magistrate has to provide food for it. How else are the soldiers supposed to be nourished? Do you want them to just run around and grab stuff?"

[Kinzinger, menacingly]:

"Is that a threat?"

[Pierre]

"Actually, it was a question. This is not the first time you have a French army in town. You know how these things work. You have delivered provisions to the generals who used to be here before us, without any problems. So why not this time?"

[Kinzinger]

"Because our means are exhausted, because we are fed up with you guys, and because we have never before encountered such extraordinary demands. This is the first time a general already sent a list of stuff he wanted for dinner before he had even entered the town. What do you think our town of Bonn is? An all-you-can-eat buffet free of charge?"

[Pierre sighs]

"Look, Monsieur Quinzie …"

[Kinzinger, muttering, almost to himself, in the tone of somebody who has repeated himself several times already]

"That’s Kinzinger, actually…"

[Pierre]

"I do not know what the regular demands for the table of a brigadier general are. I’ve only ever served on this staff, so I cannot compare. What I do know: If you want to keep my brother in a good mood, you better keep him fed. And fed well!"

[Kinzinger]

"So you’re saying the general is your brother? - Typical. Greed, gluttony, nepotism."

[Pierre]

"Whatever. Just send him something to eat, or I don’t know what he will do. He’s cranky enough on a full stomach."

[Kinzinger]

"Very well. The town magistrate will provide the extraordinary amount of food stuff the general has demanded. But I let you know that we will send him the bill at the end of the week."

[Pierre]

"Fair enough, you do that. If you excuse me now, I’m off to the Towngate Tavern."

[Kinzinger, exasperated]

"You go where?"

[Pierre, grinning]

"Now don’t be jealous, Monsieur Quinzie. We French have had a long and exhausting campaign. I plan on making the most of my stay in your beautiful town." [mutters] "God knows I’ve deserved it. You, monsieur, only have to deal with my brother now. Can you imagine doing it every day?"

[Kinzinger]

"I admit you do have a point."

-.-.-

[CUT to Soult’s office in Bonn. Soult is sitting behind a desk covered with papers, making notes on some letter, obviously working hard. He picks up another document, studies it. Frowns.]

[Soult]

"Sublieutenant Soult!"

[CUT to anteroom. Pierre Benoit is on duty. Winces visibly at his brother’s call.]

[Pierre]

"Merde." [enters the office] "Mon général?"

[Soult hands him the document]

"What’s this?"

[Pierre]

"Looks like some kind of invoice."

[Soult]

"That much I saw myself. Why is the town magistrate sending me a bill for the food we consumed?"

[Pierre, regarding a corner of the room with great interest]

"Because they kind of expect compensation?"

[Soult glares at him]

[Pierre, exasperated]

"Look, it was the only way to get them to comply. You wanted food, you got the food. But they insisted on sending you a bill at the end of every week."

[Soult]

"So what am I to do with it now? You know we’ve not received any money from Paris in ages. How are we supposed to pay?"

[Pierre, shrugging]

"Maybe, if you explain this to the magistrate …"

[Soult, scoffs]

"Sure. Let’s tell the enemy that we do not even have enough money to pay for food expenses, let alone weapons and equipment. Great strategy, sublieutenant."

[Pierre]

"Then just ignore the bill, for what it’s worth. Who knows if they even expect you to pay? These are town officials, maybe they just needed some document to put a seal on and to file away in their archives. They’ve been difficult enough with all their bureaucracy."

[Soult, still frowning]

"They have?"

[Pierre]

"Sure. Refusing to honour a request because the list was not signed, or not signed by the right person, or not signed in the correct place… I’ve stopped counting how often they sent back one of the lists until we had corrected those mistakes. But in the end they have always played along so far."

[Soult]

"Keep me informed if these magistrates continue to harrass you. Who is the person responsible?"

[Pierre]

"A monsieur Quinzie. Quite a nice guy, actually. But stuffy as hell."

[Soult]

"Well, I hope he will remain cooperative. We’re expecting general Lefèbvre and his staff for the next weekend. And I want everything to be top notch for my old commander-in-chief."

-.-.-

[CUT. Town hall, one week later. Kinzinger’s office. Several town officials surrounding Kinzinger’s desk, all talking loudly over each other. A sheet of paper goes from hand to hand. General excitement.]

[Town mayor enters through a side door, regards the chaos for a moment]

[Mayor]

"Please don’t tell me this is Soult’s list again."

[Kinzinger]

"I fear it is."

[Mayor]

"But didn’t I already sign a supply list for French headquarters this morning?"

[Kinzinger]

"That was the regular list. This one is an add-on. For a special occasion. And I must say, we’ve really had to endure a lot from this glutton already. But this time he’s outdone himself. Here, have a look!"

[The mayor grabs the list Kinzinger hands him. We can see his eyes bulge and his jaw drop.]

[Mayor]

"Thirty … thirty bottles of red wine! For one evening! What, does he want to take a bath in it? And additionally two bottles of whisky, thirty bottles of beer, twenty pounds of ox meat, fish, several chicken … all sorts of jam and pastries, fresh and preserved fruits…"

[Kinzinger]

"We’ve heard that the scoundrel-in-chief of the French vanguard, general Lefebvre, and his staff are coming over to visit. That may explain it, but ..."

[Mayor]

"But it does not make the expenses in any way easier to bear, precisely! – Wait, what’s this? Whose name is that on the bottom on the list? Isn’t it usually the general’s brother who signs these demands?"

[Kinzinger]

"Most of the time, indeed. This is a different name. Possibly the cook?"

[Mayor, with grim satisfaction]

"Wonderful. In this case, we will regard this outrageous list as non-existent. The signature of a mere army cook cannot have any meaning for this town magistrate. Send it back, and inform whoever sent it that we will only accept demands through the proper channels. – And now, gentlemen, let us start today’s meeting. Surely we have more important concerns than the bottomless stomachs of our French guests."

-.-.-

[Half an hour later. The council meeting is in full swing. We see several bottles of wine and plates full of delicacies on the table, when the adress of some council member suddenly gets interupted by commotion outside the room. The door swings open, and in stomps Soult’s cook. All council members jump from their seats.]

[Mayor]

"What is this supposed to mean?"

[Perrou]

"That’s what I ask you." [points at Kinzinger] "Or rather you! Aren’t you that Monsieur Quinzie who sends me the supplies for my kitchen?"

[Kinzinger, annoyed]

"That’s 'Kinzinger', actually, and I’m not a grocery supplier but a member of this esteemed town coun…"

[Perrou]

"Don’t you dare deny your responsibility! I’ve sent you a detailed list of everything I need in order to create a true feast for the visit of general Lefebvre! And you? You have refused to send me anything! How dare you? Do you know who I am? I am Perrou, the best cook in the Armée de Sambre-et-Meuse, and I am working for the best general of the whole of France!"

[Kinzinger]

"Well, I do not know if he’s the best general but he surely is the most demanding."

[Perrou]

"Demanding you call him? Demanding you call these poor soldiers, who would be happy to live of nothing but bread and onions for weeks? Demanding? Ha! If you knew, Monsieur Quinzie, what it takes to turn these boys into accomplished gentlemen, to teach them to even appreciate the finer qualities of life, to train their tongue and taste buds enough for them to recognise the true value of a culinary work of art such as I create! Because that’s what I am, an artist! An artist of the kitchen, and you, Monsieur, are hindering the creation of yet another masterpiece!"

[Mayor, annoyed]

"I think we’ve heard quite enough of this madman. Let’s call for the servants to get him out of here."

[Perrou]

"You want to kick me out like some random beggar? Me, Perrou? Oh, you wait, I’ll show you!" [stabs an index finger at Kinzinger, poking him in the chest] "You give me the food for tomorrow’s feast right now, Monsieur Quinzie, or all hell will break loose! Do you reckon I will feed general Lefebvre nothing but potatoes and cabbage?"

[Kinzinger]

"Hey, stop poking me!"

[He shoves him back. Perrou pushes him, Kinzinger strikes back, Perrou grabs him be the throat. Within a second, there’s a full brawl, with all the honourable council members joining in. Together, they succeed in pushing the enraged cook out of the room and in closing the door behind him]

[Mayor, panting]

"What a day! I wonder of we will get any work done during this meeting…"

-.-.-

[CUT to next scene: Pierre Soult and four soldiers are standing in front of them, ready to arrest Kinzinger.]

[Pierre]

"I’m sorry, it’s an order from my general."

[Mayor]

"You cannot arrest our colleague. He’s a town official, he is not under your general’s jurisdiction!"

[Pierre, shrugging]

"Possibly. But unfortunately, I am. Come on, Monsieur Quinzie, we have a nice room prepared for you, and I’ll see to it that you’ll have some of what Perrou has cooked for the visit of general Lefebvre tomorrow night. That should reconcile you a bit with your fate. I’m sure you’ll be out of prison again in time for christmas."

[Kinzinger, being led away, turning pale]

"You want to lock me up until christmas? Mayor!"

[Mayor, shouting after him]

"Do not worry, Kinzinger! This savage violation of the law will not be tolerated! It is about time to show these insolent French soldiers the limit of what they can do." [Door closes behind the French who march off Kinzinger. The mayor adresses the rest of the council] "And we shall do so by using their own weird laws of their own weird republic."

-.-.-

[Cut to new scene. A rather simply furnished room. The mayor, accompanied by two council members, is adressing Caselli. Who is sitting behind a desk and eagerly takes notes.]

[Mayor]

"So you assure us that you will be able to do something in favour of our friend?"

[Caselli]

"Absolutely. I have come here from Paris to the army as representative of the French people; taking care of such blatant abuse of power is precisely my job!"

[Mayor]

"I'm glad to hear there is some sort of justice under your new form of government. Just imagine: Kinzinger, one of the most respected citizens of our town, arrested! It's unheard of."

[Caselli]

"It is, and I shall put a stop to it. Put all your faith in me, messieurs! I will reign in those rogue generals in no time."

-.-.-

[CUT to next scene: Another day, another council meeting. Kinzinger’s seat is empty. The door is thrown open with such force it hits the wall. Enter Lefebvre and in his wake, somewhat slowlier, possibly a little embarrassed, Soult]

[Lefebvre]

"So these are the bastards who sicced that obnoxious 'representative of the people' on us, eh, boy?"

[Soult]

"Oui, mon général. But I assure you that I will be able to deal with these gentlemen on my own…"

[Lefebvre]

"I do not doubt that. But you will not have to. Because now I am here. [faces the mayor] How dare you give my dear general Soult so much trouble! I will teach you! Sending that idiot paper pusher after us so he writes some report to the other paper pushers in Paris! I will make you regret that idea, I’ll make you wish you’d rather shot yourself! You think prison is too much for one of your kind to bear? I’d have you all hanged, I’d have you all guillotined if you had gone through with the plan to let us starve! My dear Soult here wanted to cut down the trees in one of your alleys as a punishment, I say we’ll do worse, we’ll garrison another regiment in town just so you suckers know what it means to have to feed hungry soldiers! I’ll have you all put in iron and walked to Paris, I’ll…"

[Soult, putting a hand on Lefebvre’s shoulder, silently]

"General, I think they got the message."

[Lefebvre, still furious]

"They better have, or they’ll see how throroughly I can fuck up their pleasant bourgeois existence here!"

[The two French generals leave]

[Mayor]

"What brutes! We need to have another word with this representative Caselli."

-.-.-

[CUT to Caselli’s room. Caselli is busy packing his clothes into a trunk]

[Mayor]

"Monsieur Caselli! Are you leaving?"

[Caselli, smiling]

"Why, yes. My position here was always only temporarily."

[Mayor]

"Really? To me it seems you are running from Soult and Lefebvre?

[Caselli]

"What? How could anybody think that? Though I have to admit that I found these two generals rather unwilling to accept my authority. And also rather ... impolite. Rude. Almost threatening. You could have warned me about their character. But still, my departure has absolutely nothing to do with them. There have been some political changes in our government – well, to be fair, there are always certain changes in our government, and people like me need to make sure they are on the right side of events."

[Mayor]

"But what about our problems? You promised to help us?"

[Caselli]

"Oh, don’t you worry, Monsieur. My report must reach authorities in Paris within a week. I’m sure it will have dire consequences for the future careers of these two generals."

[Mayor, exasperated]

"I don’t care shit about Soult’s or Lefebvre’s military career. I want Kinzinger out of prison, and I don’t want to pay for these generals’ daily feasts anymore!"

[Caselli]

"You know how things are, Monsieur. You’ve lost the war, you pay the price. Be happy you only have to feed these men and don’t have to suffer them plundering your beautiful town, too. They do keep their men in check, right?"

[Mayor]

"Yes, but…"

[Caselli]

"There you have it. Isn’t that the most important point? And as to Monsieur Kinzinger, I understand that general Soult at least is quite aware he has overstepped his boundaries there. In his initial anger, he got carried away, and then felt he could not go back on his words. But once he feels he has saved face, he surely will release your friend. I’m convinced it’s only a matter of days. - Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find some servants to get my luggage into the carriage."

-.-.-

[CUT to – epilogue. A rather dark corridor. Pierre Soult is leading Kinzinger out of prison.]

[Pierre]

"See? I told you you would be free before christmas."

[Kinzinger]

"Am I supposed to be grateful for that now?"

[Pierre]

"Oh, come on, we did treat you well enough, didn’t we. I even arranged for some … private visit from one of my Towngate Tavern ladyfriends, didn't I? And you have to admit that Perrou’s cooking alone would have been worth it."

[Kinzinger gives him a sullen look but starts nodding]

"He really seems to be a master of his craft, I’ll give him that. Truth be told, it may be hard for me to get back to my wife’s cooking after having been spoilt all these days…"

[Pierre, beaming]

"See? And that’s why Perrou told me to give you this. [He grabs a large package wrapped in paper from a table near the exit and hands it to Kinzinger.] Some leftover meat pies and pastries, to share with your family. With my brother’s blessings. It’s not as if he apologizes, mind you, it’s just… well, we do not want to end our stay in Bonn on such a bad note. [He sighs.] Unfortunately, we will not be able to enjoy this town’s hospitality much longer. We’ve received orders to move."

[Kinzinger]

"I hope you don’t expect me to fake tears about this change of events. May I ask where you will be going?"

[Pierre]

"Seems we’ll cross the Rhine. A town named Solingen, where we shall have our winter quarters. I hope we will not have any similar disagreements there. But most likely, in such a small country town, nothing of importance will happen..."

#napoleon's marshals #jean de dieu soult #pierre soult #napoleonic shitpost #napoleonic daily soap #bonn 1795

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whimsical-roasting · 1 year

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“Coach Ted, how do you feel about group cohesion and dance breaks?”

thinking about random moments shared in the jamie tartt x psych major!reader fic i have in my head... just cute shit tbh

okay so the reader has been with the Richmond club for a solid few months, she’s a familiar face and friendly to the team but not super close with everybody, minus Colin and surprisingly,,, Jamie hehe

the team seems to be having a serious tie-streak going on, and they’re all kinda bummed by it

Ted’s obviously still Ted, unwavering winners mindset that basically means ‘do your best, give yourself a pat, shake it off, and repeat’ - with the addition of a smile ofc!

the reader has been doing readings for her org psych class and knows that raising group morale is necessary but also so so hard.

sometimes motivational speeches just don’t cut it yknow?? sometimes you gotta think outside of the box to fix the vibes and spread positivity

so there she is, standing in the coach’s office with a bluetooth speaker in her hand, nervously waiting for it to be her turn to speak

“Coach Ted,” she calls him in a manner that’s playful but still professional - he’s insisted on just Ted in the past and she’s complied but for serious conversations, she enjoys leading with a ‘subtle sense of professionalism’

“Coach Ted, how do you feel about group cohesion and dance breaks?” she asks, fiddling with the speaker in her hand

“Well darlin, I love a good flash mob. Gosh, those folks must keep in touch, right?” He directs his eyes to Beard, who peaks over his book and replies affirmingly, “a bond has been formed,” causing both you and Ted to smile

“Well, less flash mob but more like... a bi-weekly dance break?” she continues as Ted’s eyes land on her again. “I know the boys are bummed with the tie-streak and I was reading in my org psych textbook about the importance of autonomy in decorating our workspaces, and how group morale helps cohesion which’ll lead to better attitudes and hopefully better performance - not that our performance has been poor, it’s been great, I’m proud of the boys really! But, it sucks to see them bummed out...So maybe a twice-a-week-song-dance-break will lift spirits??”

she’s rambling. she’s nervous!! it’s a good idea tbh but still, sharing means being vulnerable and the potential of getting rejected

Ted politely waits for her to finish, nodding along and then grins, “sounds wonderful darlin! Hey, maybe you can get the boys to give some song suggestions to help with the whole autonomy thing you mentioned.”

she’s happy !! grinning as she steps out to the locker room, dragging out the whiteboard from the corner and scribbling in a lil corner of it

Jamie’s eyes follow her silently. truth be told, they followed her when she entered and disappeared into the coach’s office. but he smiles a lil seeing her grin at herself

when she’s done with the whiteboard, she calls for attention and lets the boys know to write down their suggestions, and she’ll choose two songs for the week randomly!! she emphasizes nervously that it should help according to her textbooks and Jamie is silently nodding, eyes drifting to her hands as she fiddles with the whiteboard marker

Dani is the first to speak, “pardon me, can it be Spanish songs too?” and she smiles really big, “anything you like!!”

Isaac adds, “yea bruv, I fuck wit Bad Bunny” and there’s a wave of approving noises from the rest

SO, the plan has been implemented, and it’s frickin working!!!

the boys always look forward to whose song is chosen - lots of rap, some taylor swift, Work Hard Play Hard makes them go nuts, some musical songs from Colin but it’s okay cause the lads are hyped over Hamilton

Ted gets into it!! dancing!! Dani and Jan Maas share an imaginary mic!! it’s great, but Jamie’s favourite part is seeing her join them in the locker rooms for every dance break grooving to the music

one day SHE chooses the song... “Keep Your Head Up” by Andy Grammer cause the team seemed extra tired and bummed

everyone’s like ??? who chose this?? she’s like ‘me. I did.’

she’s trying to break the tension, so she takes her imaginary mic and goes to Ted, then Colin, then Sam, and soon everyone’s into it - just happily singing and dancing

she somehow ends up next to Jamie, shoulders bumping. she’s swaying as she faces him, playfully mouthing the lyrics to him as he smiles with a slight blush (not that she notices cause she’s blushing too)

they’re both dancing close to each other, and she lightly pokes his chin when the song goes, “you gotta keep your head up”, reaching up to pull down his headband at, “and you can let your hair down,” grinning at him when he’s like ‘hey!! :o... >:)’

the song ends, and they’re still laughing at each other, holding hands...a bit longer than they should tbh hehehe. Jamie loves her energy and kindness, it matches his goofiness and makes him wanna be a better person

but anyways!!! they pull away, hoping no one notices.. some do but don’t say anything

#jamie tartt x psych major!reader #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso #jamie tartt

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rayshippouuchiha · 1 year

Note

Huge headcanon that Tsuna employs his mother's mannerisms in the future, canon universe or otherwise.

Like when he doesn't want to acknowledge something, such as his guardians destroying the Vongola mansion yet again, or the Varia exceeding their allotted destruction quota and causing budget troubles.

Cue him smiling, eyes closed, all but radiating geniality and the most malewifey housewifey aura possible.

"Ara! You must be mistaken. There is nothing much happening here." (Translation: There is no war in Ba Sing Se, for my own peace of mind. In fact, when I turn around, there better not be any war in Ba Sing Se.)

"Ara! Would you look at that? It seems some strange people believe in budget fairies!" (Translation: The next time any of you destroy my budget, I'll string you up by your intestines while playing a cello in your gut.)

His guardians or the Varia or whoever's responsible immediately start swearing buckets and putting things back in order as soon as they encounter the dreaded 'Ara' mode.

Or when he's at the end of his rope and is about to snap at some idiot mafia don or oyabun or pakkan.

Cue him with one arm wrapped around his midriff, with the other either covering his mouth or cupping his chin like a dainty young maiden, demure Sawada Nana grade smile on his lips,

"Ara! Isn't this just wonderful?"

"Ara Ara! You all have been quite busy I see."

"Araaaa! How interesting! Isn't this all just lovely Reborn? Go ahead and shoot them all will you?"

(Reborn, to everybody's horror, tends to comply with anything Tsuna asks in this mode, because Chaos of the most delightful kind often follows the Ara)

Ooooooooor when he genuinely wants to be oblivious, like whenever Vongola Nono brings up the topic of heirs.

Cue him sipping his tea calmly, with perfect manners, and then, "Ara! I'm sure Xanxus would find someone in due time. Don't rush him!" (Completely ignoring Timoteo choking on his tea and the prospect of Xanxus's kid being Vongola Undici.)

Or when Iemitsu wants to pretend they are close.

"Ara! What's this? Did you hear something Reborn?"

Personally I call this the Tsunarara hc...you know... After the anime Durarara... Ya kind of lame I know.

I see this as the AU in which Tsuna, who has nothing else in his life, decides as a kid that he's gonna be Nana's Disciple and learn the Art of the Housewife since the outlook isn't really good for him otherwise.

Come to find out this makes him terrifying in the future

#RayRambles #KHR #Katekyo Hitman Reborn #Tsunarara AU

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autumn816 · 5 months

Note

For the fic mashup, holiday/travel AU and teacherAU and either loscar or lolex :3c

This wasn’t the original idea. I had another idea wher both Logan and Alex are teachers but then I changed it. I can still tell you the og idea. Just message me to remind me.

—

This is set during winter break so think of it as a Christmas rom-com. The setting is in the mountains with the whole winter aesthetic. Snow and cabins and hot chocolate and Christmas vibes in general.

—

Logan is panicking. Internally.

He has too many kids with him to panic externally. He can’t believe he lost one of his students.

“Okay, everybody in.” Logan holds the door open for his students to enter the centre.

His students gather around in a circle at the entrance, complying because they understand how bad the situation is. Logan is very grateful for that.

“Stay here. Do not move. I’m just gonna go there”—Logan points at the Help desk—“and ask them about Olivia.”

A collective nods.

Logan walks to the desk, his students still in his view.

“Hello, sir? How can I help you?”

“Hi, one of my stu—”

“Mr. Sargeant!”

Logan twists around and sees Olivia making her way towards him. He must have let out the biggest sigh of relief known to mankind.

“Look who I found,” Olivia says excitedly.

Logan trails his eyes over Olivia to check she was hurt first. “Olivia, you scared me. I couldn’t find you. Are you okay?”

“Yes but look at who I found.”

“I would say I found you more than you found me.”

Logan startles as a somewhat soft voice reaches his ears. Next to Olivia stands Williams Driver, Alexander Albon. His jaw drops.

“It’s Alex Albon from F1. Your third favourite driver.”

“Third?”

“Olivia.” Logan can feel the blood rush to his face. “I’m so sorry, she didn’t mean that.”

“It’s true. George is second and—“

“George?” Alex’s mouth shapes to an O. “You like George more than me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Another voice joins. A much stronger British accent. “Don’t be jealous, Albono.”

Turns out Alex isn’t the only F1 driver here. George Russell and apparently Lewis Hamilton are here with him as well.

“Holy shit! It’s Alex, George and Lewis.”

Logan hadn’t noticed when his students had walked up to him.

“Joseph, don’t swear,” Logan chastises.

“Sorry, Mr. Sargeant.”

“Can we take a picture?” Rayaan asks.

“Of course,” Alex smiles.

Logan is aware that there were quite a few F1 fans in his class. He watches as they surround the three drivers, looking at him expectantly. And who is Logan to say no? He pulls out his phone and clicks some pictures.

“So,” Alex starts, “if I’m your third favourite and George is your second, who is the first?”

“It’s Oscar,” Olivia pipes in.

“Oscar?” Alex exclaims as if that’s the most rubbish thing he has heard. “Why?”

“They’re best friends,” Ayesha says.

“Wait, you are Oscar’s Logan?” George asks.

Logan might as well colour himself in red. “I wo-wouldn’t say Oscar’s Logan. But yeah, he is one of my best friends. We used to kart together.”

“Woah, woah, woah, why do I not know about Oscar’s Logan?” Alex questions.

“Can we stop calling me Oscar’s Logan?”

“He talks about him a lot.”

“He never talked about him to me.”

“Might be because Logan is exactly your type, man.” Lewis chimes, grinning. “He is probably saving him from you.”

Logan wants to drown and die.

“Lewis!”

Alex glances at Logan, his cheeks a shade darker.

“Mr. Sargeant likes burgers,” Rayaan says. “You should take him out for burgers.”

“Or coffee. He likes coffee, too.”

“Woah.” Logan ignores the laughter from George and Lewis. “What are we doing?”

“Telling Alex all the things you like so he can take you out. You haven’t been on a date in so long. We heard you, Oscar and Fred last time,” Amara says. As far as Logan remembers, she isn’t even a F1 fan.

Logan is gonna kill Oscar and Fred. He is gonna kill Oscar and Fred with his bare hands. He will. He told them to stop talking about his dating life. He knows how nosy his students get. As much as he appreciated their surprise visit, he did not appreciate them talking about his dating life in his class while the kids were doing independent work.

“It’s rather sad, Mr. Sargeant.”

Logan’s jaw drops. “Okay, it’s time to go back to the cabin.”

His students protest, a loud chatter filling the room.

Logan tries to settle them. “Guys.”

Nobody listens.

Logan raises one of his hands in the air, all five fingers standing tall. “5.” And curls his thumb in. After a few seconds, he goes, “4” and curls his forefinger. By the time he reaches 1, all the students are quiet and looking at him. “We need to get back. We’re supposed to meet the other classes. C’mon, grab your things and get in two lines.”

He takes the moment of distraction to talk to Alex. “Thank you for finding her.”

Alex smiles. “It’s fine, mate. Don’t lose her again. Or do.”

Logan looks at him in horror. “Don’t say that.”

“Yeah but how else will I see you again?”

“You realise I’m on a school trip, right?”

“Which is why I didn’t ask for your number. I know it’s unprofessional.” Alex quotes unquotes unprofessional. “I’ll just ask Oscar when I get back.”

Logan’s mouth twitches in amusement. “He is not gonna give it to you.”

“I’ll get George to get the number.”

“I’m not doing your dirty work for you,” George says.

“Yes, you are. It’s the least you can do for me having to put up with you and then me having to put up with you and Lewis.”

—

Mash-up trope

#i procrastinated posting this because i have never written lolex before and i have no clue how this turned out to be😭😭#I had to include gewis. can’t expect anything less #thank you for sending <3 #ask games #erika🐱

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melonymint753 · 17 days

Text

[Hades 2 datamined content alert]

There's a dialogue I found pretty early on that is, as of now, still impossible to get without hacking. Initially I assumed it was a mistake, but then the patch that fixed certain dialogue not playing came and went, and it's still hidden, which is slowly driving me insane:

(This is hacked content. You will be spoiled even if you've finished with all the game in its current state.)

Transcript

Melinoë: You saw what happened... what Chronos did to Mother, and my brother, and the rest. Where are they? Where is he holding them?

Hades: My knowledge of this is not up-to-date. He... made everybody stop, somehow. I saw them, still as stone; not petrified exactly but ensnared, in the Great Hall of the House. He must have stored them someplace else inside...

Melinoë: Even when I'm able to vanquish Chronos on a given night, most of the House is sealed off, and I'm unable to remain for long. How can we break them out...?

Hades: Perhaps if you ask the Titan very nicely, he shall comply? Daughter, I know of no way to undo his work, and have no wisdom to impart. But this, I can provide.

-----------------------

Why is this still hidden? It doesn't really spoil anything. The second flashback already shows the rest of the House members being frozen, and the Chronos battle shows that they're no longer in the Great Hall. Unless the fact that Mel wants to try rescuing everyone is a spoiler, something that many people are already assuming.

It even feels like an early access exclusive conversation - most of the House is sealed off, and Mel can't do much before getting kicked out via the Void of Unfinished Content.

So what does it mean, that the devs are still keeping this hidden? Are they going to add this in the next patch? But does that imply we still won't get progress in the House, since Mel still won't be able to stay long :(

An alternate implication is that this is intended for the full release, which means that even then, the first few wins in the underworld won't lead to rescuing anyone.

Best case scenario is either they haven't gotten to my bug report, or are keeping this in to keep file browsers like me distracted.

#hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #like actually spoilers for everyone this time #except the other hades enjoyers who went digging into his lines the instant the game dropped #if they exist. if so hi :D #also yeah I'm posting this now mostly to maximize the clout I get before it gets patched in eventually #it's been nearly 2 months so I'm suspecting a patch soonish

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morhido · 2 years

Text

Something has changed in luz noceda, and everybody can sense it.

She walks into school on her first day with new hair, new clothes and a whole new attitude. She almost looks intimidating, but no one in their right minds is actually scared of luz noceda. Or at least, they're not scared because of her appearance, of all things.

So she walks into her first class and immediately everyone holds their breath– because goodness sake, they thought they were rid of that weirdo. Now they have to endure a whole nother few months of hashtag Quirky entrances and loud declarations and unfiltered brazenness. And they sit with shared anticipation as she walks in, prepared for any wonderful and wacky hijinks, and... she sits down without a word.

Well, okay. People change. It's a blessing, really.

She has adopted a new habit, though, of pulling her phone out under the table and typing away at it. She hides a laugh every now and then, and rolls her eyes fondly at intervals, and once or twice her face goes a little red. People are almost inclined to think she's texting a friend, but no. That's impossible. Luz noceda doesn't have friends.

She's also become... muted. In maths it's clear that she can't understand a question and is getting increasingly frustrated. Luz from six months ago maybe would have groaned dramatically and declared how boring this class was, drumming on the table and singing to herself to pass the time. But present day luz just closes her eyes and scrunches up her face, counting one, two, three, four on her fingers as she breathes in and out. She resigns herself to drawing symbols in the corners of her pages. No one can decipher them, but she taps her fingers rhythmically on the little circles as if they were buttons waiting to be activated.

Later on in the lesson she raises her hand to answer a question. When she gets it right, her feet stamp on the floor and she makes an excited little squeak sound in her throat. They boy next to her makes fun of it. She doesn't raise her hand for the rest of class.

She spends her lunch in the girl's bathrooms. As expected, there's already a gaggle of girls there, blasting music through earphones and talking mirror selfies and shit talking other students. At some point, their comments start being directed towards luz, but she's too absorbed in her phone to care.

She gets frustrated at her work again next period and begins rapidly shaking her head with her eyes screwed shut. The girls on her table laugh in bewilderment and ask her what the hell that was. She doesn't answer. Next time she gets upset, she schools her expression and starts bouncing her leg and biting down on her pen; but cheap plastic isn't very strong, and soon enough it explodes in her mouth. Bitter ink and all.

The teacher gets mad and sends her out the room. She silently complies as she spits into a tissue.

Then the Incident™️ happens just before last period. A girl approaches luz at her locker, and no one is completely sure of what she's saying, but they can all tell it's nothing good. And this goes on for minutes on end. The girl keeps prying and luz keeps counting one, two, three, four and pretending not to care. But eventually she must have started pushing all the right buttons, because in less than a second, luz noceda slams her locker door shut, snaps her head around and all but verbally spits in her face. And she's not loud about it, which is probably the most terifying part. Her voice is low and level as she claims that she's been through far too much to have to put up with the likes of her, and that she's tired, and that the girl should turn around and walk away if she didn't want all her pretty hair to be turned into a handbag.

The girl weakly retorts out something back, calling her an overdramatic loser.

Luz laughs and offers some more creative alternatives. They lack any real venom to them, and so witnesses briefly wonder if her words are even aimed towards the other girl.

And then just as quickly, she regains her bearings and storms off to the bathroom. She doesn't show up next period. She's crying, some say. Probably for attention.

Everyone is avoiding luz noceda by the end of the school day. Luz keeps her eyes on the ground, so either she doesn't notice or she doesn't care. Or maybe she's glad; going from the school's punching bag to the quiet kid that no one wants to talk to must be a bit of a relief. Students part around her like water. Some joke that it's because they don't want the weird girl touching them. Others openly admit that they're terrified of the new her.

There's also five unfamiliar faces waiting outside when the bell rings. A girl with fading purple hair, chatting with a girl with pigtails and a polaroid camera strapped around her neck. A younger boy, no older than maybe fourteen, wearing an earring that definitely goes against the school dress code. Another boy, blonde with a hooked nose, that all the school girls are staring and giggling at. He's looking around with a carefully neutral expression as he hovers around pigtails girl and the youngest, as if he were their own personal bodyguard.

There's also a final girl with green and blue hair and colourful eye contacts. And while most teenagers would be waiting idly on their phones, the group appear to be huddled around a single tablet that this girl is holding, going between chatting amongst each other and watching some obscure mewtube guy.

Luz steps outside and then there's a flash. Pigtails girl lowers her camera with a smile.

Luz grins the widest she has all day.

She bounds forward and hugs the purple girl so tight she lifts her off the ground. Everyone is laughing. Luz kisses her on the temple, high-fives the younger boy, pats pigtail girl's head, grabs the blonde boy's face and asks if she can kiss him. He says yes, and she blows a raspberry against his cheek.

She hugs the green and blue girl too, excitedly asking what everyone is doing here.

"There was an emergency at the vet clinic, so mom wanted me to pick you up," she explains in a high, rasping voice that sounds younger than luz's. "Then everyone else begged to come along."

There's something offsetting about that notion, at least to the onlooking students.

People wanted to see luz?

Luz goes to respond but words catch in her throat when someone shoulders her from behind and causes her to stumble forward. She doesn't need to turn around to know it's the girl from earlier. Some people hold their breath, awaiting round two of their fight... but luz whispers a rushed onetwothreefour, and goes back to smiling.

"Let's get out of here."

And as they're walking out the school gates (with the blonde guy now staring everyone else down with nothing but ice in his gaze), they find the girl from earlier complaining about finding some weird purple gum under her shoe.

And once they're outside the school gates, they hear her scream as she trips and falls into a bush, then just as quickly scramble to her feet and claim that the branches reached out and pulled her in.

The youngest boy mutters a quick complaint under his breath. The green and blue girl giggles and pats his shoulder sympathetically.

Everyone is now slightly more scared of luz noceda.

#hm hm thinking #luz's first day back at school would have just been such a sick episode #i drafted a comic of it some time ago #really i wanted to see luz just go off on a bully. like. she's tired. she's so unbelievably tired #she accidentally helped a dictator destroy the world. you think insulting her fashion sense is gonna affect her self esteem?#i do also have the actual conversation between luz and the girl somewhere in my notes app #toh #the owl house #toh luz #luz noceda #gekkering

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vro0m · 10 months

Text

vro0m's rewatch - 174/332

2016 Canadian GP

Alright. For some reason I don't have the pre race to this one but we'll make do anyway. (Hindsight note : not an issue because I was SO MUCH CONTENT for this one. Like several videos as well.)

The weather isn't great. 40% chance of rain, there's been showers earlier in the day. Lewis is on pole ahead of Nico and Seb. Then it's Ricciardo, Verstappen, Raikkonen, Valtteri, Massa, Hulkenberg and Alonso.

Formation lap.

As a reminder Lewis is now only 24 points behind Nico.

Oh there's still people on the grid when the cars get back there. Not great. Lewis is pointing towards the inside, as he starts on the wrong side of the track. I never truly realised how close to the starting line the first corner is in Montreal. Just a few metres.

And they're racing.

OH MY GOD. SEB. INSANE START. HE IMMEDIATELY PULLS AHEAD OF LEWIS WHILE NICO AND HIM ARE WHEEL TO WHEEL INTO THE FIRST CORNER. HE TAKES THE LEAD! NICO AND LEWIS TOUCHED IN THE SECOND CORNER! NICO GETS OFF TRACK. HE LOSES PLACES AS A RESULT. Phew. Eventful. Sexy of Seb. Max also made it ahead of Daniel and he's in third position behind Lewis at the end of the lap. P5 is Raikkonen, then Valtteri and Massa, Alonso, Hulkenberg, and Nico is now P10! With DRS, he soon overtakes Alonso for P9. Crofty claims Lewis pushed him wide. I'm unsure about that. Waiting for the replay. Damn Seb's speed at the start is fucking insane. It drives Arrivabene crazy lol. Imo Lewis didn't push Nico wide, he stayed on his line. Magnussen also ran into Nasr btw. Nico is closing on Hulkenberg while Lewis sets the fastest lap. He's gaining on Seb now. But then Seb picks up the pace. Nico missed the chicane and lost time on Hulkenberg.

Lap 10. Seb, Lewis +1.3, Max +6.8, Ricciardo +0.4, Raikkonen +2.9, Valtteri +0.9, Massa +0.9, Hulkenberg +2.4, Nico +1.6, Alonso +4.1. Oh ho, interesting. Max is told not to hold up Daniel. I wonder if he'll comply. Annnd Jenson is stopping off track. His engine is on fire! VSC. Good thing he stopped near marshals, they put the fire out quickly while he jumps out. Seb pits! Just as the VSC ends! They're stacking the cars, Raikkonen is in as well. Seb is out in P4, then. Lewis is still widening the gap to him for now but barely. Then not anymore. Seb is gaining again. I forgot to mention Seb has to pit again anyway apparently they all have to use the softs here for some reason and he went from the ultrasofts to the supersofts so far. He's right behind Daniel now, who's still behind Max. It might slow him down a bit for a minute. It looked to me like Daniel was weaving on the straight a bit but we carry on. He's defending pretty well in the next few corners. Good positioning of the car. But it's not enough. Seb overtakes him even as he locks up. And overtakes Max quickly after. There's another DNF I don't know who, but it's happening in the garages so it doesn't hinder the race. Now Seb is gaining on Lewis really fast.

Lap 20. I'm trying to check the top 10 but twice they showed replays right when the top 4's timings were on screen. Max pits. There we go : Lewis, Seb +8.1, Daniel +6.8, Valtteri +1.9, Massa +5.7, Nico +1.0, Hulkenberg +5.0, Max +2.4, Raikkonen +0.7, and Perez +4.1. Daniel pits. Nico pits. Hulkenberg pits. Hah, Daniel is behind Raikkonen. He's gonna be pissed about that, given he wanted to get ahead of Max. Wait. Seb just gained 2 seconds on Lewis, did he make a mistake? Ted says his German counterparts are incredibly mad at Lewis for the lap 1 touchette, and now everybody is debating, once again, whether it was a foul or not. Again, from what I saw I don't think it was, but the replays weren't great angles. Oh yeah we see now he went wide, that's how Seb got close suddenly. Valtteri pits. Any minute for Lewis now. Nico sets the fastest lap. Yep. It's now. 2.3, good job! Of course Seb is back ahead now, but remember he has to stop again. The gap is 13.1. For now, Seb is still quicker but Lewis must be managing his tyres as well. He's supposed to go to the end on them. 13.5. 13.1. 13.2. 13.

Lap 30. Seb, Lewis +11.9, Verstappen +11.8, Raikkonen +4.9, Ricciardo +0.6, Valtteri +0.7, Nico +2.1, Perez +9.2, Massa +1.1, Hulkenberg +3.4. Seb is vehemently complaining about the backmarkers he has to lap. Perez pits. At the front, the gap is down to 10.6. There's a 4-way battle for P4 between Raikkonen, Daniel +0.3, Valtteri, +0.4, and Nico +0.8. Meanwhile Lewis is still gaining on Seb. 10.2. Raikkonen pits, releasing the others. 9.7. Then Lewis gets slowed down by the backmarkers as well. 9.9. Fastest lap. Valtteri overtook Daniel after he made a mistake. Massa is retiring. And Seb pits! 2.4 stop. Out 7.4 behind Lewis. Nico is attacking Daniel, and we see on the replay he suddenly lost his place to Valtteri because he missed the chicane. Nico overtakes Daniel, who pits, slight mishap, 4.1.

Lap 40. Lewis, Seb +6.7 already, Max +9.9, Valtteri +6.5, Nico +1.8, Raikkonen +15.0, Ricciardo +3.7, Hulkenberg +3.1, Sainz +1.0, and Perez +12.7. Seb is gaining fast. Apparently some people are stopping for a second time, as opposed to the expectations. We're wondering if the Ferrari gamble is gonna work out as the track temperature is falling and tyres are graining. Seb sets the fastest lap. And again. He locked up behind a backmarker though. Aha. Wait a second. Nico, who's almost on Valtteri : "You got to give me more information because of the warning and everything on the steering wheel." The engineer answers : "Copy, the warnings are real." Welp. Max pits suddenly.

Lap 50. Lewis, Seb +5.0, Valtteri +23.8, Nico +6.0, Verstappen +11.3, Raikkonen +3.0, Ricciardo +2.1, Hulkenberg +14.8, Sainz and Alonso are lapped. Nico pits because of a slow right rear puncture, right after he attacked again despite the warnings! Seb is still slowly closing on Lewis. Bit by bit. Daniel attacks Raikkonen but can't make it. 4.5 from Lewis to Seb. Ah but Seb locked up, missed the chicane and lost a chunk of time! Phew. Nico overtakes Raikkonen for P5.

Lap 60, 10 laps to go. Lewis, Seb +5.5, Valtteri +31.2 (very nice podium in sight btw), Max +6.3, Nico +4.2, Raikkonen +4.0, Ricciardo +2.6, Hulkenberg +33.1, Sainz +2.2, and Perez +7.3. Seb locks up again. Nico is all over Max's rear now. Woohoooho Verstappen defends FIERCELY and very well. Lol Alonso is asking if he can stop but they're saying no because they might get a point if something happens to a car ahead. He grunts. Max is still defending. Nico locks up, he loses a bit of time over him. 4 laps to go. The situation at the front has clearly stabilised. Nico is gonna try again… OH! Wtf? He attacks at the end of the straight but his car goes sideways right as he gets ahead and he slides in the run-off area after the chicane! He manages to go away again.

And it's the end of the race!

We get a wonderful Valsewis podium lol can't wait! "Get in there pal, awesome race mate, awesome race!" Bono says. Man the way he's saluting this crowd you'd think it's his home race lol. He's taking his time.

He jumps to his team and they pull him to the other side of the fence. He does a shuffle, shakes Seb's hand, high fives the grid girls (?).

Toto gives credit to their strategist who made the right call. They weren't sure the tyres would survive till the end but it worked out.

Ahhh Seb got to the cool down room and they're just watching the times together.

Val joins them and they barely react.

Lewis says "I enjoyed chasing you down!" with a huge smile. "When you came in I was like???" Breathlessly he says "It was such a bad start, what the hell!" Seb grins "Mine was okay, did you notice?" IAHSGDGEHSZEUEJ THEY'RE SO AAAAAAAH fucking brat omg. Lewis chuckles, they exchange a look, and Seb elbows him.

Lewis repeats his was very bad and then he got to turn 1 and had crazy understeer.

Seb says yeah, tailwind all race. OHHH IS IT THE SEAGULL RACE? Seb interrupts Lewis and asks if he saw them. He says yes, Seb says he avoided them. Is that when you went (???) Lewis asks. I brake for animals, Seb talks over him. That's when you caught up! He adds. I was sleeping at that point, I don't know why, Lewis says. Seb says he looked at the seagulls and locked up.

Suddenly it's like Lewis notices the camera and his face closes off. The conversation dies down.

While they're receiving their trophies Crofty says listening to Seb and Lewis he gets the feeling they enjoyed their battles and "are desperate to race each other on the track at the moment". He's basically writing fanfic. The merc representative on the podium is apparently one of the tallest men in the paddock according to the commentators and when Lewis holds him by the shoulder for a photo he indeeds looks very very smol.

Michael Douglas is interviewing for some reason. Of course Lewis is extremely happy. He asks about the first corner. Lewis starts by thanking everyone who came, bla bla bla Montréal is great. He says he had a very bad start, Seb and Nico got a good run, the tyres were cold, he understeered. He feels very grateful Nico and him didn't damage anything on the cars. And after that it was just trying to chase "this guy" down, who was so quick. He's happy with the car. He says he won his first GP here in 2007. Such a blessing. Seb gets a lot of cheers. Douglas congratulates him for the start and asks what the issue was after that. Seb smiles, "Lewis was a bit too quick, that was the issue." He says they might have struggled a bit because of the wind. He says they committed to a different strategy early on and the plan was to come back but the tyres lasted better than expected so Lewis stayed ahead. In the last question Lewis goes full nostalgia talking about his first win.

Nico is very unhappy. He says Lewis did a "very hard racing manoeuvre" on him. He says he was very pissed in the moment but that's racing and in the end it's his job to make sure next time a battle such as this one comes up he's ahead. The journalist apologises for his language, he seems genuinely surprised. She tells him some words he used can't be used live on TV. "I'll apologise then, you don't have to apologise on my behalf," he says. That's good. He says it's frustrating because they had a good car, Lewis showed the car was worthy of the win.

In RBR's corner Verstappen is happy with his race and Ricciardo is disappointed. Not too happy about Max not moving out of his way but he plays it down. Horner praises Max, points out they had to pit Danny at a bad time because he locked up and got a flat spot. About the team order he says at some point Ricciardo looked quicker but then Max's tyres cleaned up from the graining and it didn't matter anymore basically.

Lewis shows up in the media pen bundled up and with a British flag.

He says his practice start for the formation lap was amazing and he doesn't understand what happened with the race start. He's chuckling about it. Then again the understeer, he was under attack, and the "unfortunate collision… Tap, with Nico".

Then he says it was hunting down Sebastian, they both had really good pace, but Seb made a few mistakes. He himself apart from one time in turn 10 didn't make any mistake so he's very happy. Great strategy, good tyre management, the team made the right calls. He keeps sighing, shrugging, shaking his head with a smile.

He can't believe it went as well as it did. He really enjoyed the race, "smooth". For context Muhammad Ali died shortly before that so when Lewis won he said the famous sentence "fly like a butterfly sting like a bee" and he says the last 10-15 laps Ali was all he could think of. The journalist says "fly like a butterfly, these last few laps–" he interrupts her, "it really felt like that, that's why I was thinking of him." "It felt like I was floating," he adds. "everytime he did a good lap i was able pull another lap in which I'm sure was painful for him," he chuckles, "in terms of like a sting, you know?"

She asks if he was surprised to see him pit when he did. He gets serious. He definitely was. He says his team told him to stay out. He was excited because he thought they had a race on their hands, "I wanted to race him on the track," he says with a hungry smile.

He was worried his tyres were graining but he still made it to lap 25, then he moved to the other tyre and it was "just sweet".

It iiiis the seagull race. They find Lewis again in the paddock. He complains of the cold. He repeats some of the same things he said before. And then, behind his back, we see Seb walking past. A red and white sleeve appears in the frame and reaches for his shoulder.

"He's not braking for animals!" Seb says. "You should give him a hard time because of that."

Simon asks what this is all about, he did hear about seagulls. "2 seagulls, turn one," Seb says. Lewis tilts his head. "I feel like you're using the seagulls, I feel, I feel that they were innocent."

Seb hasn't taken his hands off of him. "Yeah but I'm a racing driver so I have to find some sort of excuse why, why the hell you beat me!" he says, as he grabs him even tighter and shakes him. Seb tells the story while Lewis glares at him with a wide smile. "I have my eyes into turn one, and I saw these… Stupid couple of seagull sitting there, all relaxed!" Lewis interjects. "Hey man it was planned! You know I'm good with animals, right?" he says as he puts his hand on his chest.

"I'm like doctor doolittle I told them to be there and they were there and…" Seb shakes him some more.

Simon says they had their crew check and they couldn't find the images of the seagulls. Genuine surprise in Seb's face while Lewis laughs. "Honestly," he says. "Invisible seagulls," Simon says. "They were white doves," Lewis says bouncing up and down like a boy.

A pause. "Well I don't know, whatever, white birds," Seb says. Lewis laughs. "It wasn't a pigeon, it was a seagull!" Seb protests still. "I could see the beak. I don't know their name but they were there!" He grabs Lewis again. "You saw them as well!"

He nods, Seb shoves him lightly. Simon interrupts, he thinks they might have found the images, but it's not the right ones.

When we get back to them Seb has his own mic. "I will stay here until you find the lap," Seb says. We see the start. But it's still not the right lap. Seb takes time to show off his sponsors on camera "there you go".

Simon asks questions about the Ferrari strategy mistake. "First of all I didn't want to crash your interview I'm sorry," Seb says. "No no no," Lewis answers, "It's good, it's nice! It's nice! You make it easy for me!" Seb goes on to say he'll always defend what they're doing, they have good people. He turns to Lewis : "Did you try to do, would you– honest answer. Were you always going to stay out?" – "No, no, we were going to do a two stop. That was plan… Plan A was doing a two stop as well so." They're constantly talking over one another so it's difficult to transcribe. Seb turns back to Simon and say see, in his shoes, you do the opposite. Aka they went for the two stop so Merc tried the one stop. Lewis approves but then he adds that they were staying out anyway. "Before you decided to go in we were staying out." Seb seems unconvinced. "I'd been told to stay out, so," Lewis continues "I think they'd already decided to go onto another strategy." Seb says with hindsight it's always easy. Lewis cuts him off : "They said plan B and I was like 'the hell is plan B? I don't remember what it is?'" then Simon says Ferrari is faring better and they might be able to chase the Mercedes down. Seb says it's a very ambitious plan but they're going for it. Lewis pretend-boxes him with the flag wrapped around his hand. He adds that 2 years ago they were unbeatable and now they are very close, he smiles and puts his hand on Lewis' shoulder again, shakes him lightly slides his hand down his arm.

"He can definitely feel our breath." Simon changes subject. "In terms of the seagulls…" They are all staring at the screen, Seb points at it "Get the lap! Get the seagulls!" But Simon finished his sentence "... We can't find them." Lewis describes for the nth time when it happened. And here we go. Finally. Everybody exclaims! "Two seagulls, see?" Seb says triumphantly. Lewis is laughing again.

"I had my eyes so deep into the apex," Seb describes with wide gestures. "I locked up!" We see the images again. "Oh my god," Lewis squeals, "They're so far away!" Seb grunts. "Mind the animals! Honestly!" Simon tries to talk but Seb is still processing. "Did you see? They stayed! Can we see that again please?" He's still pointing at the screen. "They stayed there! That's what really annoyed me. They stayed there!" he repeats, his voice high with marvel and astonishment. We see the images again. Lewis comments Seb is locking up way before the seagulls. "Yeah but look, there's a red car coming at, I don't know, a hundred something… They stay there!" he says higher still. "I'm not sure they're very clever, seagulls," Simon says. Lewis chuckles. "Maybe that's why they didn't see you coming." Seb is wild. "If you can catch these two seagulls, you might prove the opposite of what you ever find out in history about seagulls!" he jokes, looking at Simon but his eyes darting to Lewis who is still giggling. "I think I might have to buy you a couple seagulls," he says. "I don't know if they're white seagulls whatever I think you need a couple."

Seb grabs his neck again. "You told me you had some…" he gestures with his hand. Lewis catches on. "One bird did poo on my visor at one stage," he explains to Simon, while Seb laughs. "Is that right?" Simon asks. Seb bows and hands his mic over with two hands. Taps Lewis shoulder. "Thank you, well done man," he says. Seb is gone.

They pick up the interview where they left off before Seb's arrival as they slowly start walking down the paddock. Simon asks about Lewis' homage to Ali, and points to the "boxing glove". Lewis explains someone gave him the flag and he just wrapped it around his hand because he's freezing. Lewis explains Ali has been an inspiration to so many people etc. Explains about the end of the race again. That's it.

In the notebook, Ted says Nico seems increasingly annoyed. "But, you know, what does Rosberg expect? Hamilton. Is. Deadly. Absolutely. Unrelenting. Unrelenting. He takes no prisoners ever in a race car. That's why he's so brilliant, that's why he's such an awesome champion."

Videos to come! Stay tuned!

#f1 #lewis hamilton #vro0m's race reviews #2016 #2016 canadian gp

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