#FF FF FF he looks so good !!!!

[foldingfittedsheets]

My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.

On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.

You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.

To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.

That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.

So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”

I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.

Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.

I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.

My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.

The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.

I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.

Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"

Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.

The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?

The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.

Fucking Cynthia.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 03

PREVIOUS

In the Fluent Freshman AU I could see a moment where Andrew kind of misses having Renee around. She was a nice quiet support for him during her time at Palmetto and now she’s graduated. Bee suggests that Andrew try and make a new friend, he can try with someone on the team even.

Andrew, initially, thinks it’s a stupid idea. He real hates pretty much every sophomore (Jack’s group) and pretty much all of the new freshmen irritate him since they’re always trying to steal Neil’s attention with all their fucking problems. The only freshman that he has no opinion on (and therefore is miles and miles ahead of everyone else) is the quiet one that he glowered at pretty early on for staring at Neil’s scars.

Except now, with the knowledge that the kid is a foreign language major, he was probably just trying to figure out what language him and Neil were talking in since the kid isn’t phased at all when Neil absentmindedly used his shirt to wipe away sweat on his face. Everyone else had LOOKED but the kid had just continued on as if it were nothing.

Nicky likes him a fair bit and has assured both Andrew and Neil, after the fourth time the kid power walked away from them, that he’s not homophobic just due to circumstances public displays of affection make him deeply uncomfortable. The Foxes have pasts and if the kid isn’t going to make it their problem then Andrew isn’t about to get irritated over it.

(Nicky doesn’t elaborate that those circumstances being that he understands that Andrew is telling Neil all the places (geographical locations) that he wants to kiss Neil and where he’d do it. He’s really not a prude but how did watching Cars 2 result in this level of dirty talk?! He’s just trying to actually get to see these movies everyone keeps referencing so that he can join in on the conversation)

The kid’s quiet company the few times Andrew’s been in it and Neil has been making some slow progress on getting the kid to open up. Andrew knows that the kid has his own weekly meetings with Betsy and he’s not about to pry.

(It’s social anxiety and stress related. No he has not told Betsy about the whole Russian situation because she’d be mad at him right? Everyone keeps telling him that Betsy and Andrew Minyard are close and that Andrew is her favorite even if she can’t admit to having something like that. She’s nice but what if she gets mad about it and tells Wymack that he’s not fit mentally to be on the team? Then what? He can’t afford college without a sports scholarship. Oh god- Betsy spends a lot of time walking him through stress relief and not worst case scenario-ing every interaction)

Andrew figures that if nothing else this kid is fine with sitting in stony silence. If it doesn’t work then w/e he tried.

So, to Fluent Freshman’s absolute horror and dismay, Andrew Minyard starts to hang around him even when Captain Neil ISN’T AROUND. He becomes unbeatable at Poker and fluent in Japanese if not fully literate.

Once it’s just Andrew and Fluent Freshman sitting in absolute silence for an hour. This might be the nicest time Andrew’s had with someone not part of his family since Renee left. “You ever consider learning Russian?” Andrew asks.

Fluent Freshman’s award winning performance starts here.

“No, I have never considered taking Russian classes here.” He responds turning a page in his book on Esperanto (he thinks it’d be fun) because why take a class for a language he’s already fluent in. He’s bad at lying but he’s GREAT at just not saying the truth.

Andrew doesn’t say anything in response and they continue to sit in silence until Fluent Freshman has to get up and go quietly have a panic attack.

Everyone, except Nicky, all think that Fluent Freshman’s the second coming of Andrew’s general apathy. Bee is proud of Andrew for willingly sitting next to someone in almost complete silence. Andrew says it helps that there’s someone else like him (Bee is confused because Fluent Freshman is known to bring his own brown paper bag to hyper-ventilate into but she says nothing.)

Only Nicky knows the full extent. Fluent Freshman is doing breathing exercises, taking pepto bismol to help his stress related stomach ulcer, and considering using his art gen-ed for theater so that he can commit to this bit better.

Fluent Freshman kind of gets used to Andrew’s quiet company until one day they’re an hour and a half into their usual absolute silence when Fluent Freshman gets up to grab something Andrew looks at him and goes “Hey wanna learn how to use a knife?” And Fluent Freshman stiffens up and straight up faints.

NEXT

[1driedpersimmon]

Damnit

[djevelbl]

Hehehehe ghost cuppy

[home-halone]

a short rest

[strawberrylemonadesoda]

Yup, about damn time.

[lemonstars8583]

HELLO FIVE NIGHTERS i am back again and you can’t stop me from appearing spontaneously. Hello.

hardly any representation of Sarah here i know i know i’m sorry.. but um 👍👍 at least she’s here

ANYWAY i have. NO idea what to say about this. if you have any question ask (PLKEASE 🥹🥹 PLEEK… PLEEK…?) idk what to ramble about unprompted, normally i can talk on end for hours at a time but rn my brains drawing a blank.

uhm fun fact: Millie has memorized the name and location of every main artery thanks to the plague on society that is funtime freddy

I AM EDITING THIS POST TO SAY THAT UHm millie and sarah were in the same grade at the same highschool. no they were not friends at all. millie thought sarah was annoying for constantly wanting to be like other people and be “popular” (she HAAATES the popular kids after her “bff” ditched her or whatever the fuck happened in the book and she CANNOT understand anyone who wants to be like them), and uhhh sarah thought millie was WEIIRD she thought she was super super weird and carried diseases like rabies or some shit yk. like she’d camp out in the woods and kill frogs or some shit yk. she’d follow flocks of crows to a corpse to examine it yk. rumors like that LMFAO

[steelthroat]

Hello hello hi, I was thinking about Ratchet and Impactor from the Netflix trilogy. And crying.

Also guys I want you to think about the fact that at the end of that trilogy the Cybertronian race is made up of less than 30 mechs half of which come from the future technically. And Unicron, Nemesis and Galvatron... but idk do they count? I don't feel like they count as Cybertronian no?

Anyway... mechs.

And they pretend to separate. Pffffftttt like dude. Bish please. You're SO doomed might as well get along for fuck's sake. This separation thing is temporary and YOU KNOW IT. Istg I wanna hit them with a brick

I really love that trilogy. I mean I hate it. But actually it had me in a chokehold, if some studio ever decides to put out a movie length episode that actually CONCLUDES that storyline I'll be happy. I don't care how dark or edgy they make it I just really wants to see more of that universe because... it wasn't great but I liked it.

It was trash but I am a raccoon. It was MY TRASH OKAY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH

[yanderespamton78]

Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!

sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll

also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me

Pinup belongs to @turntableart

[ca-8]

could request, Yandere Bunzo Bunny x Toy Rabbit reader, where the reader tries to escape and takes a mini Hoppy critter, which is the adopted baby

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING BEFORE READING: Heavy descriptions of gore and ingesting human remains (This is a yandere fanfic meant to portray behaviors seen in fiction and fiction only. This is not to represent people who have real mental/personality disorders and/or trauma that cause them to gain obsessive behaviors. Please do not romanticize any behavior like this seen in real life, and do not actively seek out a relationship with someone who is prone to hurt themselves and/or others. Keep fantasies in fiction. Thank you.)

(Y/n) loved making things beautiful. They reminded themselves of that as they gently ran the tattered brush along little Hoppy's green fur. It soothed the tense hairs and laid them to sleep, bathed in the warmth of the bristles as they brushed over the same spots, over and over again. Over...and over...and over...and over...and over...and over again. ・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖!𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕫𝕠 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕟𝕪 𝕩 𝕋𝕠𝕪 ℝ𝕒𝕓𝕓𝕚𝕥!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 (ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙)

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・ Little Hoppy sat still. The voice box sitting snug inside her widened smile let out purrs and coos with each gentle sensation. This was the only way for her to calm down after hours of walking. Every so often, whenever they'd hear the slightest creak in a darkened room or a hint of a shadow scurrying in the corner of (Y/n)'s vision, they'd run and hide, and little Hoppy would shriek and curl in such a position her threads would almost come lose. And then (Y/n) would take out their brush and brush and brush and brush along that disturbed fur to keep her quiet and beautiful. Yes. Yes, it was quiet. Finally it was quiet. And she looked so much better. Even the bloody, muddied spots on her face and the ends of her ears were neatly tucked down along with her fur and threads. Yes, beautiful. She was beautiful. (Y/n) loved making things beautiful. Such a wonderful pastime. They didn't have to think about anything else. Not how the brush's handle had its paint chipping off. Or the way the light was flickering high and high above. Or how the high ceiling sometimes let a few droplets hit the ground and let out an eerie plop, or how some of those droplets of whatever was on the floor above would hit (Y/n)'s perfectly sewn clothes and little Hoppy's beautiful fur, or how the droplets would create wet spots on their perfect clothes and make them uncomfortable, or how uncomfortable they'd get when the wet spot is red or how she would think about if that red wet spot on her perfect clothes was from something with blood or how some red drops would drop down on little Hoppy and further ruin her beautiful fur or how those red drops kept coming and coming and coming and smelled so strong and loud or how they smelled delicious or how those red drops would perhaps come from something edible something they could eat something they could eat something that could fill their terribly empty and gnawing stomach that twisted and turned and hurt and agonizingly hurt and rumbled so loud that he could find them at any moment at any moment at Little Hoppy whimpered. (Y/n) looked down. They brushed so hard that a few threads came loose. "Oh...I'm so sorry, dear." They pat her little head and took out the sewing kit in their pocket. After grabbing a needle and some green thread, they began to sew her back into beauty. Another thing (Y/n) loved was being made for the sole purpose of beauty. Each inch of (f/c) fur and the way their long bunny ears curled and every outfit they wore was perfect in every way. Because they were so beautiful, they had to make everything else around them beautiful too. That's why those devils taught them hair care and how to sew and how to teach their children to be beautiful to the world. If only they could have taught him how to be beautiful. A gurgle of noise shot out of little Hoppy's voice box, and the sudden image of his cursed face immediately left (Y/n)'s mind. "What's that, bun-bun?" they asked. The mini critter turned, and those white dots buried in the depths of her vast eye sockets blazed and trembled with hunger. The second those eyes shot guilting daggers, they made her turn the other way. "I know you're hungry," (Y/n) uttered lowly, "but you're going to have to wait a little bit longer." Little Hoppy whimpered, and a twinge of shame twisted inside them. They were supposed to take care of her. That's what they promised when they found her in the deepest, darkest pits of the factory. They said she wouldn't have to worry about eating or getting eaten once they found a way out of this hell.

But even under the flickering fluorescent lights, memories whispered across each hallway as its painted gore decorated each floors' and walls' every crevice. They were lucky enough to ascend two areas, yet nothing edible could be found to fill their craving, howling stomachs. 'But it's better this way. He can't follow us up here. I'd rather starve to death than see his face again.' Little Hoppy's ears snapped up. "What's wrong, dear?" (Y/n) asked, stuffing their mini sewing kit inside their pocket. They had just finished sewing her threads back together. With an alarmingly loud snarl, little Hoppy dashed away and bursted through the door, letting light pour on shadow's warmth. "Hoppy-!" (Y/n) called, until they froze mid-way through standing up. That smell. That smell. That warm, ghastly yet succulent SMELL. Thick coats of iron wafted through the heavy humid air, curling, engulfing their body and blessing their nose. They almost considered falling back to their knees and praising whatever cruel god gazing down upon them, it was food it was food it's been so long it's been so long! Their baby were almost wiped from their thoughts completely when they sprang to their feet and rushed out of the room as fast as their trembling legs could let them. (Y/n) collapsed against the doorway. They were weaker than they had thought but they couldn't stop now the smell was so close they can't stop they were going to die. So they quickly shoved themselves off the door frame and collapsed on the floor, forcing their violently quivering arms to drag their body against the sleek floor, and there it was. Their eyes were glued, the corners of their vision suddenly tainted in veins and red. There was a God, a loving wonderful God! How else could there be giant, shimmering pile of the Devils' insides? Those perfectly shredded kidneys, how that glistening gore rolled through the intestines' crevices - and it was so fresh look at how every inch of that pink bleeding beauty throbbed and squelched out their name it was calling to them it needed to be inside them. Little Hoppy was already devouring this blessing but it didn't matter there was still more for them! Plenty more! Blood squirted from the Devils' pile and splattered right onto (Y/n)'s twitching face. It rolled down their cheek and fused with the drool that poured endlessly from their mouth, and to think, yesterday nothing flowed from their lips but desperate breath. And finally, finally they were close enough to grab the throbbing meal. Its soft fill easily collapsed and pulsed between their fingers, and they immediately shoved it in their mouth. Their eyes instantly rolled back and a shivering pleasure coursed up their spine. It was disgusting, so horrid but so soft and lush and how it was drenched enough to easily roll down their throat and into their stomach, but they needed more they need more so much more they couldn't stop their hands from diving into the pile and stuffing that terribly delicious ooze inside their mouth and no matter how many times they swallowed each piece of breaking intestine each squelching vein pounding against their lubricated tongue before it fell down their throat they needed more otherwise they would die they didn't care if their stomach didn't want it they didn't care about the sickening putrid stench they didn't care if each time they swallowed their body made them throw it back up they needed to eat they needed to eat they NEEDED TO EAT THEY NEEDED TO EAT THEY NEEDED TO EAT THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING THEY WERE STARVING . . . . ・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

So, big surprise, I didn't know that there was a character limit when answering questions. This one shot is supposed to be a lot longer than what I have now, but when I went to save, Tumblr gave me a 4,000+ character limit warning thing. Don't worry, I had enough foresight to save the entire thing on a separate google doc, so I'm pretty much close to being done. @zinnia1506, thank you so much for requesting, and Part 2 is coming real soon! (Like legit later today) Hope you guys enjoy what I have so far!~

[glitterynebulas]

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 14

PREVIOUS

When Andrew came out of his bedroom to grab a second Allen wrench (he’s working on the frame of the dresser while Neil builds the drawers) he finds quite a few things to irritate him.

1st was the sound of his brother and his cousin arguing loudly. Andrew had been pretty clear that they needed to be quiet that morning but following Andrew’s clearly given guidelines was NEVER either of their strong suits.

2nd was the fact that there was a smell in the air that Andrew was unsure of. It wasn’t a bad smell. It didn’t smell like Nicky had left some component of the breakfast FF had bought to burn. Andrew sniffed the air again and…..lavender? It wasn’t really a smell that existed in the house of three college student boys.

3rd and most irritating was the fact that FF was not where Andrew had left him four hours ago on the couch. Again, Andrew had been pretty clear to both Nicky and Aaron that FF was to be left ALONE. FF hadn’t been able to go to sleep until Andrew had promised that nothing would happen to him while he slept.

He moves towards the kitchen table where Nicky and Aaron are eating some of the sour patch kids that FF had brought back as they argued, “He can’t be serious that Kate and I gross him out more than Andrew and Neil! I’ve seen how fast he walks away when they start getting gross.” He hears Aaron say.

“Aaron I have watched Smithy climb out a second story window because you and Katelyn started making out and he’d have to walk closer to you to go out the door.” Nicky returns. “I think you made him mad when you implied he was grossed out by Andrew and Neil. This is why I get spoon privileges and maybe, if Smithy is feeling forgiving, you can swipe your finger around the bowl.” he points at Aaron.

Andrew hangs back just out of sight.

He knows that FF does not like to be subjected to seeing PDA. A part of him feels…better at the confirmation that it really isn’t because him and Neil are both men. FF has seen them hold hands, kiss chastely, and lean on one another and been unbothered by that it was only when it started getting a little heated that  they’d realize that FF had left. FF never makes a scene about it, never scoffs in disgust or squeals in delight he just seems to see where it’s going and will leave if he doesn’t want to see it.

It’s nice.

“Well he’s probably mad at you for waking him up. Andrew said to leave him alone.” Aaron returns.

“He needs breakfast! He also has to take his ulcer meds at the same time so he had to wake up and eat something. He can go back to sleep after!” Nicky defends.

Andrew scowls. Ok. Nicky could live if that was the reason he woke FF up. Still, why the hell is FF in the kitchen and more importantly what bowl and spoon are Aaron and Nicky arguing over?

Andrew tunes his family’s argument out and heads to the kitchen to find FF putting a baking dish into their oven while incense burned on the counter (Andrew now realizes that was the thin box that had been in with the rest of the candy)

He sees the bowl and spoon that Nicky had mentioned and more importantly he can see the chocolate brownie batter on them. Andrew walks over to the bowl and picks it up. He wipes his finger along the inside and…

He closes his eyes for a moment to savor the flavor of the batter. He leans against the counter and his hand brushes against….a five hour energy bottle. Andrew knows he had thrown out the two he had found in FF’s bags before (Ulcer + exhaustion + FF = bad he didn’t need to be a math major like Neil to understand that math.)

Andrew shoves the bottle in his sweatshirt pocket as FF turns around and stares at him passively. FF’s eyebrow’s raise slightly but there’s no other reaction. Andrew considers that, perhaps, FF had wanted to lick the bowl.

He offers the spoon instead knowing it is the better prize but FF is the one who bought the ingredients and mixed together this amazing batter, so he gets first dibs.

“That wouldn’t be good for my stomach.” He declines and Andrew wonders if FF had taken his meds yet or, in his tired state, he’s forgotten to.

“When did you wake up?” Andrew asks.

“Hour ago.”

He should go back to sleep after he takes his meds but also knows that FF probably won’t go to sleep until the brownies are done.

“I’ll make the pie tomorrow.” FF says and Andrew blinks out of his thoughts.

Andrew decides to go get FF’s meds for him. He’ll make it clear to FF later that the guy doesn’t HAVE to keep making amazing desserts as a thanks for being invited to Columbia. If FF just so happens to WANT to keep making amazing desserts then Andrew isn’t going to be the person that stops him.

He shoves the spoon in his mouth and heads out to go find Smith’s bag and his meds.

Aaron and Nicky see him and both let out outraged noises as their quarry had been stolen.

Andrew ignores them and gets to the bag by the couch.

Who the fuck just has 14 bottles of five hour energy sitting in their bag??

***

When Andrew handed FF his ulcer meds he could admit to feeling grateful even if Andrew had obviously gone through his bag to grab it. He swallows it dry because Andrew is standing by the sink and he knows that until Andrew eats a brownie he is not in a position to ask for favors big or small.

(He learned his lesson from that one time with Captain Neil. If he wants to do anything related to Russian he has to be in the safety of his lofted bed under the cover of night and the cover of his…covers while he reads via flashlight. He will not be caught so flat footed again! These are all necessary precautions!)

Andrew seems to very much want for FF to be in prime condition for the hunt. Part of him wonders if he’ll be released amongst other game animals and FF had never felt more jealous of the turkey who got pardoned by the president the day before. Why does that stupid bird get all the luck? Where’s his presidential pardon?

That grateful feeling evaporates into a dust cloud as Andrew lifts a plastic bag, “Stop drinking these.” Andrew hisses, “They’re going to make your ulcer worse.” He points at FF.

“I need them.” He says.

“For what?”

“Five hours of energy at a time.”

“Pull out the brownies and go back to sleep Smith.”

“They still have 10 minutes.”

“Then I’ll pull them out in 10 minutes.”

“There’s a final step that I have to do once they’re fresh out of the oven.”

“What is it.”

“Smith Family Baking secret. I don’t make the rules.” FF gestures towards where the incense continues to burn, “Great Gran’s recipe and methods cannot be shared with non-blood relatives. My mom wasn’t even let in on the secret.”

Thank god

Andrew glowers at him.

Oh God

“It’ll be just 20 more minutes.”

Andrew’s eyes narrow at him.

“They’ll be worth it.” He pleads.

Andrew rolls his eyes.

“Go to sleep when they’re done. Take Nicky’s room.” Andrew commands.

“Take Nicky’s what?” Nicky leans into the kitchen.

“Smith is going to go back to sleep on your bed.”

“Yeah you look like shit Smithy. Don’t worry, unlike Neil and Andrew’s bed mine is all safe.”

Nicky zips out of the kitchen with Andrew hot on his heels. Nicky really is a good friend.

He performs the sacred rites necessary upon the brownies when they come out of the oven and takes a small corner piece to taste test and -

He closes his eyes and clasps his hands together in prayer.

‘Thank you Great Gran.’ He prays earnestly.

‘Remember to wash behind your ears’ he thinks he hears a whisper of grandmotherly advice in return.

That was probably normal.

He extinguishes the incense.

He cuts up the brownies, finds a decently sized plate, and sets the brownies out on the counter before he starts to work on doing the dishes. Yeah Yeah he could have been cleaning while he waited for the brownies to cook! That’s what you always do right? Clean as you go?

Well have you ever been baking brownies that might be the difference between life and death? No? Well then FF is just going to have to stop you right there because he had the oven light on and his eyes GLUED to these fudgey squares.

Who knows what the cousins’ oven would do? He doesn’t know this oven. He and this oven are taking their first whirl together and it could decide to turn on him at any time. They don’t have the brotherhood that he and the oven at his Gran’s house have built over the years! This oven could be one of those ones that maintain their temperature by turning on the broiler! He felt like he could never again recklessly trust an oven after he tried to make crescent rolls in the Viking Oven at his step father’s house and had gotten them back blackened by the broiler.

That oven had been the SINGLE thing he had been excited about during the kitchen remodel which means naturally it was the thing that had betrayed him.

He lets himself think of all the ways he hates the Viking brand as he finishes the dishes and puts everything back to where they belong.

He walks out of the kitchen with the platter of brownies and sets them down on the table where Aaron and Nicky are sat. “Oh my god they smell amazing.” Nicky says and immediately his hand is shooting towards the plate and picking up a corner piece.

FF valiantly resists the urge to slap his and Aaron’s hands away. He needs these to compel Andrew into letting him live.

“Oh wow, those do smell good.” He hears Captain Neil’s voice and when FF turns around Captain Neil and Andrew are both there. It is only in that moment that he realizes that he should have bought some vanilla ice cream to go with these.

Andrew’s love of ice cream was not unknown, probably even infamous. He was the man who, during the summer training, had been so possessive over the soft serve machine in the cafeteria that anyone who wanted any had to ask Captain Neil to get them a bowl or risk being threatened.

He starts towards the door. At this point Target probably isn’t even that bad, probably just some irate people who didn’t come with the rush and are mad they missed out, maybe some officers talking to witnesses on who threw cast the first Wii remote, and workers who will hate him marginally less (unless he gets the same check out person and they remember him (unlikely))

His progress is arrested by a hand grabbing his hoodie.

“Where are you going?”

“I forgot Ice Cream.” And he could get a five hour energy to slam on the way back home.

He then finds himself being pulled down an unfamiliar hallway.

Ah, the anticipation had been killing him more than the fear of his demise. His brownies had not contained the requisite amount of grandmotherly love to save him he had been relying on extract (Great Gran’s spirit guiding his hands) instead of organic (he does not have grandchildren or children for that matter)

Maybe ice cream would have been the deciding factor? He’ll never know.

He closes his eyes and lets himself be dragged. He’s too tired to fight.

A door opens, and he finds himself sat on a bed.

Weird.

“You are falling asleep standing up. Go back to sleep. I’ll leave you at Eden’s if you fall asleep in the booth.” Andrew threatens.

What.

FF knows about Eden’s.

He has heard about it from Nicky trying to get him to agree to go but he’s pretty sure it’d be like introducing an Amazon rainforest frog to the Sahara desert in terms of survivability for him.

“We’re going to Eden’s tonight?” He manages to ask.

Andrew raises an eyebrow at him but answers, “Yes.”

“I’m not really interested in clubs. I don’t drink out in public or dance.”

“Neither does Neil. I just drink. We can stay in the booth.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your time with Captain Neil.”

“It’s fine, neither of us hate spending time with you.”

“I don’t have clothes for a place like that.”

“Nicky grabbed some for you. You’re coming tonight. Go to sleep.”

With that Andrew pulls Nicky’s curtains close, shuts off the light, and closes the door.

FF, always very much like a bird when placed into a suddenly dark environment, starts to feel some of the  exceptional sleepiness that he’d been pushing off through sheer manic desperation to earn another day of life.

He lays down in Nicky’s bed and is tired enough that he can ignore the sheer amount of body glitter on the sheets (does Nicky excrete it like sweat??) and starts to let himself drift off to sleep.

Eden’s might be something completely out of his wheelhouse but-

A conversation with Nicky from when he’d been trying to get FF to go comes into his mind and he sits straight up in bed as Nicky’s words roll around in his head like stale hotdogs at a gas station.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.”

Eden’s is a Secondary Location with a BASEMENT.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lilyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit

The requests to be added to the tag list got spread out across a few different mediums on this one so if I missed you then just ask in the replies!

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you  didn’t  get a notification there might be something switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[latestdreamgirl]

LOOK AT HIMMM. LOOK AT WHO I SCOREDDDDD.

[tacagen]

OKAY MY NEWFOUND AGENT BISHOP TMNT AUDIENCE. ANY THOUGHTS ON WHY THERE ARE

two of them?????

[ujunxverse]

also ppl need to STOP hyping lsf up they’re cute but… that coachella performance… there were good moments and they have potential but they’re clearly not ready for such a big stage 😭 like if u put their performance side by side w ateez or even blackpink i’m sorry but they got BODIED only chaewon did well 😭

[lost-in-horrorland]

I'm gonna come out and say it, Luffy when in the Udon prison mines looks hella fine and has no right making me feel things. Like JFC... Maybe it's the kimono only being half on, leaving his whole torso exposed??? Like???

I'm gonna blame the kimono.