#FUCK I HAVE A CALL IN SEVEN MINUTES OOPS

[elytrafemme]

sometimes i really do sit and think like. wow this truly is a universal experience. you know ?

[dorkszn]

7 MINUTES IN HELL + satoru gojo

SYNP — getting stuck with your ex-boyfriend during a dumb game of seven minutes in hell heaven

WARNINGS — amab reader, dom!top!reader, sub!bottom!gojo, brat gojo, porn w plot, forced proximity, pet names, dunk sex, drinking, smoking (weed), closet sex, fingering, orgasm denial, anal sex, college au, implied commitment issues, implied toxic relationship, gojo’s kinda an asshole, degradation, creampie, minor feminization | 3.8K words

A/N — my first time writing top reader i think 🥹🥹 I’m actually so proud of this

Everyone knows when and why the two of you broke up. If you can even call it a breakup. It was more of a tear-filled yelling session between a pair of friends with benefits. That’s how he described it. One where Satoru ended up walking out your front door and you dropped onto your couch with angry tears in your eyes.

Nobody questioned you guys afterward though. Suguru kept quiet, listening to Satoru whenever he ranted. Shoko sat beside you, sharing a cigarette and takeout with you. Haibara kept his usual self, forcing everyone into group activities. And Nanami who kept to himself, per usual.

The house was full to the brim of loud, drunk college students. Music blaring and the stench of alcohol intoxicated every inch of the air. Your typical party. Some people play beer pong in the basement of the home you knew all too well, some make out in the corners and crevices, and some dance with their friends in the middle of the living room you’d hung out in many times.

Haibara wasn’t particularly known for his parties but he had thrown a few good ones in the past few months. Some you had attended and some you decided to miss out on. You couldn’t miss this one though. No matter how badly you wished you could. Shoko dragged you here because she couldn’t say no to Haibara’s invitation. Which for some reason meant that you couldn’t say no either.

Currently, you stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as a girl you recognize as a lower classman speaks to you. “But yeah, Mr. Yaga is just—“ her words are interrupted by a small hiccup. “Such an asshole, you know? And I don’t even have his class!” She’s been stumbling and stammering the whole conversation but for some reason, she’s one of the only bearable people here.

“Ain’t that the truth,” You blandly chuckle, sipping at your drink and emptying your red solo cup. “Be right back.” You tell her through the boisterous tune playing through the house. You slide past a few people to make your way to the fridge.

You open it and let the cool air abduct you. A nice break from the stuffiness of the crowd. An arrangement of alcohol sits in front of you. Your gaze runs through it, trying to pick whatever stands out. A singular white claw catches your attention. You reach for it only to be interrupted by another’s hand grabbing it.

“What the he—“ you whip around to face the thief. Of course, it’s this bastard. White hair and black, circular sunglasses greet you along with a stupid signature grin.

“Oops, did you want this?” Satoru hums. He cracks the can open and takes a dragged-out sip of it. You roll your eyes at his typical antics, shutting the fridge.

“Fuck off, Gojo.” You scoff.

“Ow, last name basis, baby?” He hums, drinking from the can once more. You feel your blood beginning to boil in your veins. You push past him, knocking him back ever so slightly with the force.

“Don’t call me that.” You grumble. You make your way to the basement where you know Haibara would have more alcohol. Gojo chuckles and trails behind you.

“We’re playing some games upstairs if you wanna join.” He offers. You glance back at him with narrow eyes.

“With you? No thanks.” You hum, jogging down the stairs. A cup pong game runs in the large basement, a crowd building around it. The well-known jocks stand in the middle, being hyped up by their teammate.

You hold a prolonged stare at one of the jocks. He’d always caught your eye. “Really? Jocks don’t give a good fuck. I know they seem like it but they don’t.” Gojo suddenly speaks up again.

“Do you ever stop and think that some people want more than a fuck-buddy?” You hiss, turning to look back at the man. He gives you a softer look. Your past flashed through his mind. He sits in silence. You sigh and continue to the box of beer in the corner of the room. You grab a can and crack it open.

“Go find something to do, Gojo.” You mumble, leaving him in the basement.

An hour or two and a few more drinks in, you find yourself watching a UNO game running at Haibara’s dining table. Utahime sits in front of you, holding three cards in her hand. She might be the only other person that Gojo irritates more than you. A focused aura surrounds her, keeping you just a foot away from her.

“You got money on this game?” You ask her, glancing over her cards through slightly hazy eyes.

“Of course she does. As do I,” Another voice speaks up. Mei Mei sits just one seat away from Utahime, she holds just two cards in her hand. You can’t help but chuckle. Of course. Utahime is too competitive for her good and Mei Mei is one of the freakiest gold diggers ever.

Suddenly a hand lands on your shoulder. You turn at the weight and see Shoko. She holds up a plastic ziploc bag, with a small bundle of green inside of it. “Holy shit, Sho.” You slightly gasp with a grin.

The woman smirks back at you. “Found out my guy was here. Plus it was free, beat him in Smash Brothers for it.” She explains. If there was anyone to count on to find something to smoke, it was Shoko.

“Wanna go up? I hear Yu’s room is open.” She questions, gesturing to the stairs. You nod and give Utahime an encouraged pat on the shoulder. You and Shoko find your way through the crowd, squeezing past people kissing, and dancing. You finally make it to the stairs where two students sit at the bottom, one sitting in the other lap. Everyone’s gonna feel like shit on Monday.

You somehow make it up the stairs and follow Shoko’s guide. You find your friend’s room but Shoko stops you before you can open the door. “Don’t freak out, okay? I know that’s unlike you but still.” She murmurs.

You shoot her a confused look before shrugging. “Okay?”

Shoko nods and grabs the knob, opening the door. Haibara’s bedroom looks how it usually does. Suguru and Gojo sit on the bed, sharing a bag of chips between the two of them. Haibara is on the floor beside Nanami, running a game of shogi. You look over at Shoko and she furrows her brows. You sigh.

“Hey, I found y/n.” She hums to the group before closing the door behind the two of you. You awkwardly wave to your group of friends and join Shoko on the floor against the wall.

“Y/n, will you tell Kento that this can't move diagonally?" Yu huffs, showing you one of the game pieces.

“You know I don’t know how to play shogi.” You reply. Yu facepalms before nodding and turning back to the blonde. You watch as Shoko quickly works to roll the weed into the paper. You think she could do this in her sleep if she tried.

When done, she passes you the blunt and reaches for her lighter. “Shit.” You hear her mumble.

“Suguru, got a lighter?” You ask, focusing your gaze on him and only him. You see Gojo watching you out of the corner of your eye but ignore him. Suguru digs through the pockets of his baggy sweatpants, finding his old-fashioned flick lighter. He tosses it to you and you catch it in your right hand.

Shoko cups her hand around the flame as you hold it to the paper. It lights and you shut the lighter. Gojo’s staring at you, you can feel it. You place it between your lips and tuck the lighter in your pocket. You look back at him as you take a drag of the drug. You pass it to Shoko and gently blow out the smoke.

Gojo’s face flushes a soft pink before he turns his attention back to Suguru.

“Oh my god!” Haibara suddenly outbursts. You all turn to look at him. “Ok! Ok! Let’s play something else.” He seethes, frustration written on his face.

“Jeez, grab a beer, dude,” Shoko says, blowing smoke out from her lips.

“What d’you wanna play?” Gojo hums, clearly amused by the idea. Haibara ponders for a moment before his eyes settle on a hat on top of his dresser.

“I have an idea,” he smirks. He stands and grabs the hat then a piece of paper and a marker.

“I don’t like this.” Nanami groans, dragging a hand down his face. While Yu begins ripping up the photo, the door bursts open. An angry Utahime and a grinning Mei Mei enter.

“How’d the game go?” You hum, turning to the two girls. Utahime simply glares at you and you smile back.

“I ran her pockets of course,” Mei answers with a smug grin. Before Utahime can remark, Yu calls out.

“Ok! Everyone write their name on a piece of paper and put it in the hat,” Haibara tells you all, handing everyone a small piece of paper and Suguru a pen.

“We’re not children, Yu-Bara,” Shoko scoffs.

“Exactly. That’s why we’re playing big games,” he says excitedly. “Spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.” Everyone groans or sighs at his antics, except for Gojo. He laughs.

Reluctantly, you all scribble your names down and drop the folded papers within the hat. You all form a circle in the middle of Haibara’s room floor. Shoko on your right, Kento to your left, and the white-haired bastard across from you.

An empty beer bottle is placed in the middle of the circle. “Let’s keep this fun, guys. No fighting or arguing, alright?” Yu hums. You all nod and he grabs the bottle. It spins rapidly between you all. Everyone’s eyes trained on it. The bottle comes to a slow before stopping, the mouth of the bottle pointing at you.

A cloud of smoke leaves you with a sigh. “Of course.” You mutter. Yu then replaces the bottle with the hat of names. You look at the antsy expressions on your friends' faces before closing your eyes. Your fingers shuffle through the papers then grab one.

A combined “ouuuu” from Haibara, Gojo, and Mei Mei fills the room as you open your eyes. You roll your eyes at their childishness. Slowly, you open the small piece of paper.

‘Satoru ;)’

You’ve got to be fucking kidding. Your facial expression must’ve given away your thoughts because everyone stares at you oddly. Shoko leans over and reads the sheet. “Oh shit.” She gasps slightly.

You look up to meet blue eyes then flip the paper around for everyone to see. Numerous reactions leave the group. But you focus on the grin that covers Gojo’s face. “Well, isn’t it your lucky day?” He quips. He stands and holds his hand out to you. You take one last drag of the blunt before standing and ignoring his assistance.

“Sure is,” you mumble, smoke flowing through your words. Yu trails behind the two of you to the closet. You walk in first, Gojo following.

“Be nice guys! Have fun!” He waves with a taunting grin before shutting the door. You hear him push a chair up in front of it, preventing your escape. “Your seven minutes start now!” He yells, his voice slightly muffled by the door.

You hesitate through the darkness, trying to space yourself away from Gojo. “Just stay on your side for the next 7 minutes and we’ll be fine.” You sigh. Gojo pulls out his phone and turns on the flash, shining the bright light at you.

You wince at the light and put a hand up to shield your eyes. “You see the space we got? There aren’t any sides, sweetheart.” He scoffs, showing you the minimal space of the closet. He stands just about a foot and a half away from you. The proximity almost made your skin crawl.

“Why are you such an asshole?” You question, dragging a hand over your face.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Most people disagree with you, y’know?” Satoru hums, flashing you a grin.

“Don’t call me that,” you hiss again. “Plus, most of those people don’t know you.”

“You didn’t seem to mind it the first time,” he snickers and you glare at him. “Besides, are you implying that you know me?”

“No, I thought I did but clearly not.” You grumble, folding your arms over your chest. Satoru ever-so-slightly frowns at this.

“C’mon man, it was just a misunderstanding,” Satoru sighs, pushing his snowy hair out of his face. A misunderstanding was a severe understatement. You couldn’t tell if it was the closet or the alcohol in your system but anger began to fuel your body. “And it’s not my fault you were naive.” He adds.

Before you can think about it, you’re grabbing his shirt and shoving him against the closet wall. His phone falls to the floor with a soft thud, the light illuminating the closet from the ground. Satoru swallows and looks at you with wide eyes. His hand grips your wrist.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to get you all worked up,” he apologizes with a smirk, gently tapping at your wrist. This bastard.

“I can’t fucking stand you, Satoru.” You seethe, bringing your face close to his. You didn’t want the others to hear and think something was going on.

“You say that and you still haven’t found anyone better than me,” The male replies, putting the two of you just inches apart. A sudden warmth surrounds you, your heart pounding in your ears. “You know you love how I make you feel.” He whispers.

He wasn’t wrong there. Every fuck after him just felt dull and you were left feeling bad for whoever you were with. And nobody pushes your buttons quite like Satoru does. Nobody makes you feel like he does. And you hate it.

“Fuck you,” you finally stammer out with a shaky breath. He lets out a low chuckle.

“You miss that, don’t you?” Satoru murmurs, his grin just inches away from your lips. You’d like to blame the alcohol for your next actions. But both of you know, your mind and body were craving the man in front of you. He was addicting.

You finally took him into a rough kiss, pulling a small sound from him. His lips feel so natural against yours. They feel no different than a few months ago. The two of you move so knowingly with each other, lips in sync. Satoru’s hands grip your shirt, slightly pulling at the fabric. One of your hands finds his waist while the other makes its way to his hair.

You tug on the snowy tufts, pulling a wince from the man’s throat. You slip your tongue past his lips, taking in every inch of him for the first time in a while. Your mind has every part of him engraved in it but your body longs to re-explore him once more. The taste of alcohol lingers on his tongue, matching yours.

You want to breathe him in more. Use him as your oxygen source instead of the small air supply of the closet. However, you pull on his hair once more and pull away from him. A string of saliva connecting the two of you. Your chest heaves up and down, pressing against his. You wonder if he can feel your racing heart.

“Missed you too, baby—“

“Shut up.” You say, voice stern. You pull at his belt with one hand, the other wrapping around his throat. Satoru lets out a weak groan as you undo his belt buckle. You move to his pants until they’re both loose around his waist. The waistband of his boxers reveals itself, as well as the slight bulge in the cotton.

You don’t loosen your grip on his neck when you lift two fingers to his lips. “Get 'em’ wet.” You mumble to him. Your fingers slip past his shining, pink lips and into his mouth. His tongue pressed against your fingerpads before swirling around your digits.

Satoru’s eyes stare straight into yours over the edge of his sunglasses. You feel your dick slightly twitch in your pants, making you swallow harshly. “So you do listen,” you hum. You pull your fingers out with a small ‘pop’ from him.

“When I want to—“ his words are interrupted again when you turn him around, his back facing you. You make quick work of pulling down his pants and boxers. Satoru’s back naturally arches when the cold air hits his skin.

You snicker in response with a small hiccup. “You’re such a slut, Toru,” you tell him as you reveal his hole to you.

“Shut the hell up.” He replies, his words breaking down into a moan when you spit on his entrance and push two fingertips past the ring of muscle. You push your fingers further, prodding at his walls.

“Shit, has anyone stretched you out since me? You feel exactly how I left you.” You grin cockily. Satoru grumbles curses in response and rolls his eyes. You scissor and part your fingers inside of him, stealing lewd noises from the man.

“Yeah… tons, guys way better than you.” Satoru pants, a faltering smile on his face as he glances back at you. You lean forward and bite down on the sensitive spot of his neck. His cry is like music to your ears, making you smirk against his skin. Your tongue laps over the reddening spot as your hand moves to his mouth, covering it with your palm.

“Quiet down, will you? Everyone already knows you’re a whore,” you hiss. You feel Satoru tighten around you, making you groan and his eyes roll. He’s close. “Gonna cum already?” You hum, quickening the pace of your fingers. Your digits curling inside of him.

“Ngh— fuck off,” Satoru mumbles, slightly moving his hips to fuck himself on your fingers. But you pull away, watching his entrance clench around nothing. A small gasp escapes the man. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He examines, turning his head to look back at you with a deep glare.

You scoff before reaching for your belt. “Nothing nearly as bad as whatever is wrong with you.” You reply, undoing your belt buckle and your pants zipper. You pull down your boxers that are slightly stained with your precum. Satoru swallows as he looks down at your growing erection, mouth practically salivating at the sight. A hungry lustful look in his bright blue eyes.

You tease Satoru’s entrance with your tip, just barely pushing into him and pressing kisses to the ring of muscle. Satoru lets out an annoyed whine, his hips squirming and pushing back against you. You groan when he desperately grinds against your length. “C’mon, just put it in.” He pleads.

“Such a needy boy,” you murmur. You push into him and his eyes roll back in his head as your cock fills him. Your breath shakes as it passes your lips, his walls tighten around your length. So warm and holding you just right. “Fuck Toru, you’re so tight.” You hiss in his ear, pressing a kiss against the skin.

“Just fuck me already.” He scoffs weakly, his chest slightly heaving against the closet walls. You wrap a hand around his throat and grip his hip with the other, your fingertips surely bruising where they sit. You pull out of him agonizingly slowly, taking inch by inch away from Satoru.

You then slam back into him to the hilt, a choked whimper leaving him. “Not such an arrogant bastard anymore.” You murmur before picking up your pace again. His muffled sounds don’t go unheard as you focus on the way your cock disappears into the plump flesh of his ass.

A harsh clap echoed throughout the closet with every collision of your hips. “agh— sweetheart, s’too good.” Satoru pants, hands clawing at whatever fabric was closest to him.

“Yeah? Who fucks you the best?” You hum, relentlessly as you buck your hips forward. Your leaking tip punctuating every time you hit that certain spot inside him. A spot you’d never forget.

“Shit, you do. You fuck me the best.” The snow-haired male whimpers. You shift your hand around his throat, pulling him right against you. A pornographic moan erupts from his throat. A noise everyone outside the closet definitely heard. Two of your fingers find their place in Satoru’s mouth again, pressing down on his tongue.

“Shh. Don’t want everyone to hear how much you love my dick, right?” You coo, running your tongue along the exposure of his neck. A muffled “mhm-mhm” leaves Satoru as his tongue focuses on your fingers occupying his mouth.

However, this can’t distract from the feeling of slamming into him. Spreading him apart and filling every centimeter of his insides, reaching sensitive spots he never knew even existed. The feeling of Satoru’s hand pushing against your abdomen doesn’t even register in your mind for seconds as you get lost in his cunt.

You take hold of his wrist and move it off of your flushed skin. “Take it, Toru. You know you can.”

“Can’t, m’fucking— gonna cum.” He babbles.

“Yeah? Go ahead, cum around my cock. Make a mess for me.” You tell him through a smug grin. Your hand drags down from his mouth to his dick, wrapping around it and pumping him to the rhythm of your thrust.

“Fuck, baby, missed you so so much.” Satoru groans before ropes of cum spurt from his tip. His eyes squeeze shut so tight and his body trembles against you. His seed coating your hand and fingers.

“So fucking sloppy.” You mewl, feeling your balls clench as you stuff yourself into Satoru to the hilt. You bite down on his neck as you release in him, stuffing him to the brim with your cum.

A weak whine pulls from Satoru when you finally pull your teeth out of his neck and lap your tongue over the spot.

The two of you sit in your mess, the smell of sex and sweat intoxicating the small space. You can feel Satoru’s heart racing in his chest. You just sit for a moment until you go limp within him before pulling out. Satoru leans against the closet wall, lips glossy with spit and eyes hazed over with lust.

Suddenly, he gives you a weak grin. And you can’t help but drunkenly smile back. Idiot. You glance down and see your cum beginning to dribble out of him. Satoru grunts when you push a finger into him, assuring your seeds place inside of him.

“Missed you too, baby.”

[devilry-revelry]

Untitled - Male Orc x Female Human (Part 4)

OOPS I TRIPPED.

Not lemon, but maybe lemon zest?

Minors Do Not Interact

This marks the original concept/story for these two. First story was Riley worrying about stuff and things. Names may have changed since then. It's hard to remember. Ya know, because I deleted everything.

-

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

-

“Fuck,” Arzok snickered. He sounded absolutely winded from all of the laughter. “I’m not just going to ram it in and hope for the best, Riley. I promise you, we’ll fit together just fine.”

-

Riley’s curiosity was a dirty little bitch; a needy insatiable little whore.

Four weeks, and seven dates had left Riley’s baser urges feeling frayed and restless. After their second date they had shared the first kiss, and had since enjoyed a bit of necking. It was during their last date when their kisses turned downright sinful. Sitting in the car outside of her apartment in the middle of the night, Arzok’s hand clasped around her throat, the other slipping up her skirt as his tongue dominated her mouth. He’d teased her for just a moment, thick fingers tracing a slow path over the cleft of her pussy before he completely withdrew and bid her goodnight. Riley had been a mess ever since then. Any attempts to ease the tension Arzok had created left her feeling bereft and wanting. His had been such a strong, and commanding presence. Fiddling around with her vibrator didn’t do her any favors. 

And that’s where her dirty, dirty curiosity came in. 

Riley couldn’t help but think that her and Arzok’s first time together would be coming up soon. They had discussed her staying at his place for a weekend. Planning was still tentative at best but it was something they talked about with increased frequency. Arzok lived a little over thirty minutes outside of town, and while he claimed that the commute wasn’t any trouble, they had both agreed that a relaxing weekend without all of the typical date-night run around would be a nice change of pace. That, of course, meant that Riley would be staying at Arzok’s house and, sure, she could sleep on the couch or in a spare room, but she probably wouldn’t. Sex or not. Because they were adults. And they were dating. 

But those thoughts took a hard turn and she had been stuck with thinking about what she should expect were she to sleep with Arzok. He had mentioned that he was dominant and controlling, but what else should she anticipate? Arzok was big. Huge. He dwarfed her by nearly two feet and Riley was on the taller side of average. He was broad, and he was strong, but what about the rest? Short of just coming out and asking Arzok “hey, how big are orc dicks?” her only real avenue of getting that information was the internet. 

And that’s where Riley’s curiosity turned into a dirty, insatiable, little tramp. 

The initial search was a simple request on average sizes, but then a few videos showed up. The first video Riley stumbled into involved a beast of an orc, his height easily breaching the eight foot mark. He was paired with a petite, tiny little woman. The orc’s dick was bigger than Riley’s whole forearm, and while the pornstar took it like an absolute champion, Riley was aghast. It was porn so of course there were so many degrees of separation, but there was no way. No. Way. One video chased another in an effort to debunk the sudden theory that orc men were just obscenely massive in the pants department. Absolutely nothing was debunked. She’d even tried narrowing down her search, but it yielded no results. Instead, Riley had somehow ended up on orc-human BDSM play – and that was how Arzok’s phone call found her: stunned, horrified, whole-heartedly curious, and completely dejected. 

Riley didn’t process the first ring. She was far too engrossed in what was going on on the screen. On the second ring, she had a whole body reaction like he just walked in the door and caught her personally. Riley yelped - actually yelped - and slapped at her keyboard to pause the video. Then she abandoned the laptop on her coffee table and retreated to her bedroom as if getting away from the laptop would hide the evidence of her insatiable curiosity. She even closed her bedroom door. Locked it. 

“H-hi-llo–?” Hillo. Jesus. C’mon Riley. 

“Hey, baby,” Arzok said. His voice was low, and sleepy-quiet. He had informed her earlier that day that he wouldn’t be getting home from a work-thing until late. Nearing midnight, he sounded absolutely knackered. The growling rasp that was always in his voice was more prominent with his fatigue. Riley couldn’t help but like the idea of hearing him sound like that in person, grumbling sleepy good mornings. “I was just calling to say goodnight.” 

“I won’t keep you then,” Riley replied. Her voice matched the quiet pitch so as not to rouse him. “Did everything go okay, though?”

“Don’t know, and right now I’m too fucking tired to care,” he groused. Riley was able to pick up the teasing inflection of his words despite his bitter tone. “How about you? How was your night? What’re you still doing up?” 

“Oh it was fine,” Riley replied quickly. 

Arzok asked again, “What are you still doing up? You’re usually down for the count by now. Is everything okay?”

The heated flush that rushed into her cheeks felt as if her own body was trying to betray her. She moved away from the bedroom door to sit on the edge of her bed, then she flopped to her back. She hated that he was right. Riley was typically curled up, in bed, and on the verge of sleep by 9:30 most weeknights.

“Oh, everything is fine. I just… lost track of time.”

“Yeah? Doing what?” 

His question didn’t feel as if he was prying. He sounded genuine in his interest. Riley worried her lower lip, wishing that she had curiously looked up videos on how to knit or crochet. 

“Nothing. Just…” The idea of lying left a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. So she skirted the details and addressed it in broad strokes. “I’ve just been thinking. It’s really nothing crazy though. But, hey, why don’t we both go to bed and we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

“The fuck we will. What’s wrong, what happened? Is everything alright?” The sleepy timber of his voice was gone, and he now sounded wide awake, and bordering on frantic. 

“It’s literally nothing to worry about. I promise–”

“Riley.”

“Fine just… Just don’t make fun of me, alright?”

“Never. Just talk to me, baby. You’re freaking me out. ‘I’ve been thinking’ sounds like a goddamn death sentence.”

Riley sucked in a slow breath, held it, and released. She tried to control the swell of stinging, hot, embarrassment. She had thought about it so much that it worried her, which drove her to the internet, which worried her more. The fact that she had thought about it enough that she was driven to consult the internet was so stupid–

“Riley, sweetling, come on.”

“Okay, okay.” She babbled, “You have to promise not to make fun of me though, alright?”

“I already said I wouldn’t. Look, if you don’t tell me I’ll drive over there and–”

“Whatifyoudon’tfit?”

“Fucking what?”

I said,” she heaved another heavy breath. “What if… you don’t… fit?”

Silence. Quiet, deafening, silence. Riley waited with baited breath, waiting for him to say something. Anything. It felt as if the quiet stretched on for an eternity before a hint of sound broke through. It was barely there. Muffled. There was a sound like a snort, and then another–

“Don’t you laugh at me, you monster!”

The laughter came through full force suddenly. It was loud, booming, jovial. Riley could imagine him; his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut tight as he succumbed to it. Imagining him laughing made Riley’s mood darken. He was making fun of her, but he was beautiful when he laughed. The bastard. 

“I–I’m not–I–” His efforts to calm himself only seemed to make the situation that much worse. 

Riley sat up in bed, glaring daggers at her bedroom wall. “Hey, I’m serious!”

Arzok’s rolling laughter slipped into its decline, and eventually he said, “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re–you’re up this late worrying about whether or not my dick will fit–?”

“Yes!” Riley wailed. “I am! Look, I know it’s dumb, but I like you a lot. And if this whole thing doesn’t work out because you have a third arm–” Arzok cackled. “--then that’s really going to suck.”

“Fuck,” Arzok snickered. He sounded absolutely winded from all of the laughter. “I’m not just going to ram it in and hope for the best, Riley. I promise you, we’ll fit together just fine.”

Riley grumbled morosely through his reassurance, thoroughly embarrassed and ready to hide under her bed for the next century. She should have known better than to let her curiosity win. And on top of it, she sure as shit shouldn’t have been data collecting by watching pornography. Even if it was mostly accidental, once she started it was hard to look away and she fell down the rabbit hole. 

“Sweetling,” Arzok growled. “When we are ready to take that step, I’m going to take pleasure in making sure you’re good and ready to take me.”

His voice cut her grumbles short, and she fell into surprised silence. She sucked in a quick breath, searched for a reply, and managed an airy and incredibly eloquent, “Oh.”

“And I’ll make damn sure that you enjoy every fucking second of it, baby.”

The low rasping purr of his voice was warming her in ways that the insane porn videos didn’t. This was for her. She crumbled back into the bed and let her eyes close as he spoke. She imagined lying beside him as he made his dark promises, and that familiar want that had been plaguing her began to flood her system. 

“I’ve thought about you cumming on my tongue as I prepare you to take my cock. Would you like that?”

Riley shivered. The ache in her core assaulted her with no mercy. She could feel her pulse leap in her sex, and the sensations resonated through her body, making her toes curl. 

“I asked you a question, Riley. You will answer me.” Arzok’s tone dipped lower still. It was suddenly threatening in a way that Riley liked far too much. 

She pressed her thighs together, and hummed her agreement. 

“No. You will answer me. Use your words.”

“Yes…” she whispered feebly, feeling more heat gather in the apples of her cheeks. The heat seemed like it was everywhere now, emphasizing her timidities, and fueling the fire he had created with just his voice. 

“Good. Now stop worrying about this shit, you hear me?” The way the threatening rumble of his voice shifted into something entirely casual and bordering on playful smacked into Riley like a Mack truck. The spreading fire was doused with a bucket of water. Her eyes popped open to stare dumbfounded at the ceiling. “I don’t know who got into your head and told you we wouldn’t work, but we will. I can’t tell you how I know that, but I look at you and I can feel it in my goddamn chest. We’ll work. Promise me that you’ll give us a chance before you let someone convince you that we won’t. I–”

“It wasn’t anybody,” Riley said gently. She had initially been willing to let him ride with the assumption that an actual person had stirred up her concerns. Now she didn’t want him to think that she was willingly associating with someone who was trying to cause problems with their relationship. That wasn’t fair. 

“Then what did it? Do I need to slow down? I will…”

“No,” she said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “The only reason I was thinking about it is because I’m-I’m looking forward to it. But… Okay, you can’t make fun of me this time.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I assure you, it is. No laughing.”

“No promises.” When she didn’t immediately reply, Arzok pushed onward. “Can you tell me so I’ll stop worrying about it?”

Riley rolled so she could suffocate herself with the pillows in the event that the humiliation proved to be too much. 

“I watched porn, okay?” I watched dirty, filthy, orc-on-human porn and I regret it! Stop laughing–!” He did not stop laughing. “Alright. Well, I’m going to go walk into the ocean now. Goodnight!” 

“Baby, what the fuck?” He was still coming off his most recent bout of laughter. “Wh-why?”

Riley shoved her face into her pillows, mumbling a muffled reply, “Can we stop talking about it?”

“I will never stop talking about it. Fucking wow.”

What a nightmare of a night. If she managed to get to sleep after all of this, she was going to wake up still embarrassed. 

“I’m assuming I don’t need to explain why porn isn’t the most reliable source.”

A mumble of agreement. 

“All of this worrying because some pornstar with a monstercock spooked you,” he said good naturedly. 

“Stop.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done. No more orc porn though, got it?”

“Got it.”

They elapsed into silence, but it felt like Arzok was smiling like an idiot. Riley felt it in her heart. She glowered and mumbled about going to bed. He agreed, and she was almost completely certain she could hear him smiling. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Almost as soon as they hung up, her phone buzzed once, twice, three times. Three text messages. All from him. Two were images. 

First there was a picture of his face. His torso was bare, his arm curled around a pillow as his dark eyes stared into the camera. His inky hair was splayed out over his big gorgeous shoulders and white sheets. Riley smiled, simply staring into his eyes for a moment.

The text read: 

> Just so you can get an idea of what you’re working with. 

The angle of the picture came from somewhere over his head. It started just at the bottom of his chin, and it went down, down, down over his splayed chest, his stomach, his waist, to the tops of his thighs where the sheet was precariously bunched. His green skin offered a stark, beautiful contrast against the pristine bedding. Basked in warm lamp light, the contours of muscle were highlighted from his pectorals, all the way down to the tantalizing V of his hips. One of his hands was resting over his navel, and she followed the strong musculature of his tattooed arm down, and up, and down again. Riley’s eyes caught on the smattering of dark hair that met the sheet.

That awful (wonderful) orc.

Another buzz. Another message. 

> Sleep sweet, Riley.

[Part 5]

[spiteless-xo]

May we see that soft Eren you were talking about? 👀

here is a lil snippet of what i've been working on oop it's a very unedited draft so apologies in advance if it's a disaster

im hoping to make it a multichapter series?? slow-burn enemies to lovers?? but don't hold your breath, idk when it'll be finished

“Hey, are you—” he looks down at his phone, brows pinching together and lips pursing as he reads out your name, butchering the pronunciation completely. You didn’t even know it was possible to say your name so wrong.

You correct him with a grimace, leaning away from your laptop as you cross your arms over your chest.

His gaze lifts from his phone back to you, smiling with just the corner of his mouth. “Right. Sorry.”

“You’re late.” You nod to the clock hanging at the far end of the library. The two of you had agreed to meet to work on this project at seven this morning—he’s almost forty-five minutes late.

His smile widens into a boyish grin, eyes wrinkling in the corners as he pulls out the chair next to you. He puts his bag onto the table and throws his weight into the chair as he sits down, drawing the attention of a few of the nearby students.

“I was hoping that if I was late enough, you’d just do the project without me,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “Did you?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

What can you say to the professor to get you out of doing this project with him? It almost feels like some sort of cosmic joke that the two of you have been paired together for this. The professor said the pairings were randomly assigned, but there’s no way that’s true.

You are always fifteen minutes early to class with your iPad in hand. You colour-code all your notes and have a strict schedule for getting your assignments done well before the due date. You ask relevant questions during class and always volunteer an answer when the professor poses a question. You’re a model student—you always have been.

And ever since you were a kid, you’ve been punished for it by being forced to babysit problem students. Because you’re so smart and so quiet and so well-behaved, you always get stuck next to the annoying, smart-ass kids who show up late to class and who barely hand their assignments in on time. As if your good behaviour will somehow rub off on them.

It hasn’t worked before and you doubt it’ll work now, especially when you’re paired with Eren fucking Jaeger.

You lift your hands from your chest, tapping gently at your temples in a soothing gesture—something your counsellor taught you to help manage the stress of your workload. You take slow, calming breaths, and try to compose yourself before turning to look over at Eren, seated beside you.

He has one arm resting on his bag while the other palm lays sprawled across his thigh, his knee bouncing up and down impatiently as he stares at you. “I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“It’s not possible for me to do all this work by myself,” you say, lowering your hands and clasping them together on the desk. “This is the capstone project. Our report will determine if we pass or fail the class.”

“So…”

“So,” you say, voice tight as you feel your blood burning in your veins, “we need to work on this together.”

“Ok, fine. I was just joking, anyway, nerd.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry—another joke.” He crosses both arms across his backpack, leaning forward to rest his chin on his arms. “So… what are we supposed to be doing?”

You sigh in frustration, turning away from him and back to your laptop. You pull up the syllabus for Professor Hange’s class, scrolling down to the last page where it gives detailed instructions on the capstone project due at the end of the semester.

This project is supposed to help showcase everything you’ve learned from your year-long environmental sustainability course. Part one of the course is required for all students attending Paradis University, but part two and the capstone project are optional. Usually, only students in the environmental science program take both parts or students looking for something to pad their med school application.

Eren falls into the first camp—an environmental sciences student who needs this class to graduate. You’d think that kind of pressure would give him the motivation to show up to class on time. Or to pay attention. Or to be engaged, at all, with the capstone project. But it barely seems like he’s even paying attention as you summarize the requirements to him.

You fall into the second category—a biochem student looking for something to help you get accepted into your dream school. Which is why it’s all the more important that Eren Jaeger doesn’t fuck this up for you. 

“There’s a lot of different options we can take with this project. I’ve come up with a few ideas on my own already,” you explain. You turn your computer to face him, pulling up your Google Doc of ideas for the capstone project, highlighting your favourite idea—micro-sustainability initiatives for towns that don’t have local recycling programs—in bold. “Let me know if you see anything that interests you.”

He hums in thought, pushing back the long strands of dark hair out of his face as he leans forward to peer at your computer. “Your font size is so small. How can you even see anything?” Eren reaches out with both hands, grabbing your laptop and dragging it toward him as he squints at the screen.

“Maybe you need glasses,” you say, scrunching your nose as you see him leave greasy fingerprints on your computer.

“Yeah, probably. Hey, y’know… none of these are really speaking to me.”

Your brows shoot up into your hairline—the audacity of this man.

“Isn’t there something we can do that’s a little more local-focused?” He pushes the laptop back toward you, leaning back in his chair and balancing on the rear two legs. “I just feel like all the shit you wanna do isn’t realistic.”

“It’s not supposed to be realistic,” you say, pulling the sleeve of your hoodie over the heel of your hand to wipe away the smudges he left on your laptop.

“Shouldn’t it be?”

“No.”

He clicks his tongue and drums his fingers against the table. “I dunno… I just don’t really see how we can do any of this—” he lifts a hand to gesture vaguely at your computer, teetering on the legs of his chair precariously “—and actually promote any change, y’know? Like, these are just hypotheticals, there’s no feasible way we can follow through with any of this.”

“We don’t have to follow through with it,” you say. You turn back to your computer, flicking through your tabs until you find the syllabus again. “We just have to ‘demonstrate the ability to gather materials, review current literature, and to examine sufficient background material to inform the development of original work.’ It doesn’t say anything in here about actually putting our plan into place.”

“Yeah, sure… but wouldn’t it be cool if we did?”

He shoots you another one of his boyish smiles and if you were one of the other brainless girls at the school, maybe you’d start giggling and blushing and agreeing with him—but you’re not. You’re an aspiring heart surgeon and you don’t have time for this idiot’s attempts at derailing your project.

“Let’s just stick with one of my ideas, ok?” you clip your words, moving back to your screen of ideas and pointing at the highlighted line. “Let’s do this.”

“I don’t wanna do that one.”

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with any other great ideas and the project proposal is due at the end of next week. I can work on the Introduction tonight and send you a copy and as long as you’re able to get me the Goals and Process by the end of this week, I should be able to—”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said, I don’t want to do that one.”

You sigh and bring your hands up to tap at your temples as you count to three.

One. You shouldn’t dismiss him like this off the bat, that’s not like you. You should hear him out. Maybe—just maybe—he has a good idea.

Two. This is a partner project, so the two of you need to work on this together. Even if you tried to steamroll over him and do this project yourself—which you can’t—he will still have to fill out his peer evaluation forms, and depending on what he says, that might end up hurting your grade.

Three. He’s made it this far, hasn’t he? You might not need this class to graduate, but he definitely does. There’s no way he’s been coasting off his other classmates' work these past four years, so maybe he has some insight that could really elevate your project, being an environmental sciences student and all.

“Ok, Eren, what ideas do you have?” you ask, lowering your hands and clasping them in your lap before turning to face him.

“Hmm… I’m thinking… travel mugs.”

He… what?

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, trying to stay positive.

He sucks his teeth, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in thought as his chair lands on all four legs. “I dunno yet, I need to talk it out, still.”

“Well… reusable products often have a positive impact on the environment as opposed to single-use waste,” you suggest.

He nods, snapping his fingers. “Yeah, exactly!” he whispers. “I mean, just look at everyone here.” Eren leans toward you conspiratorially, gesturing to the other students seated at the tables nearby. You can smell the warm, vanilla scent of his cologne as he moves close and you turn your head away with a wrinkle of your nose. “How many single-use cups do you see? One, two, three…”

Eren counts them off out loud, pointing with his hand close to his chest as he does so. You follow his finger, counting alongside him in your head. Out of the six other occupied tables you can see, there are fifteen single-use coffee cups—including the one on your table beside your laptop with the logo of one of the student-run on-campus cafes emblazed on the side.

He clicks his tongue and shoots you a look from the corner of his eyes, his brows twitching and his lips curling up into a smile. “See? That’s a lot. And that’s only from tables we can see, on this floor. Imagine the study rooms, the other classrooms—hell, what about the entire school?”

You turn away from his glimmering, eager eyes and create space between your bodies to cross your arms over your chest. “Ok, yeah. That’s a lot of cups. How does this relate to our capstone project? Do you want the school to start selling travel mugs at the gift shop or something? They already do that.”

“No, no, no.” Eren shakes his head with a sigh, like you’re the idiot. “I’m thinking something more accessible.”

“More accessible than a reusable travel mug?” you say, unable to mask your tone of disbelief. Eren levels you with a stern look and you think it’s the first time you’ve seen him without a shit-eating grin. “I shouldn’t have to remind you, Eren, that this is an environmental sciences capstone project… this isn’t for a commerce class, we don’t need to invent a new product.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not thinking product design, anyway. Just something a little more…” His fingers wiggle in the air, as if he’s physically searching the air for a word, snapping his fingers when he finds something. “Ok, so, you know how in Hizaru they have those little umbrella holders outside of all the shops?”

“I’ve never been to Hizaru.”

“Oh… uhh… well, they do. They have these little boxes outside so you don’t have to bring your dripping wet umbrella into the store with you.” He draws an imaginary box in the air with his two index fingers to help you visualize the concept. “Umbrellas can be pretty cheap and non-descript so the umbrella culture in Hizaru is pretty… mi kasa es su kasa.”

He chuckles at that, looking up from his imaginary umbrella holder to flash you another smile but you keep your face neutral and he returns to his explanation.

“Basically, if you don’t have an umbrella, you can borrow one if you need it, as long as you return it to another holder somewhere for someone else to use,” he finishes. “What if we recommended something like that to the cafeteria and all the cafes on campus so people have the option of using a reusable mug instead of creating single-use waste.”

That’s… actually not a bad idea.

You sit up a little taller in your seat, moving your hands from where they’re crossed over your chest to rest on the keyboard of your laptop, instead. “That’s an interesting idea… and it aligns with Paradis University’s goals of becoming more sustainable—especially if we can demonstrate the impact that it would have on waste.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he grins. “We could do an assessment of the current waste created by single-use cups and try to extrapolate the impact our recommendation would have, assuming a—”

“Even a little as a one-percent buy-in would have a huge impact on waste on campus,” you say, clearing off your ideas document and filling it with notes on this new project, instead. “There’s seventy thousand students at Paradis, a one-percent buy-in over one semester could have an impact of approximately—” you type out numbers with the calculator on your phone “—ten thousand single-use cups!”

Eren smiles so wide that his eyes squint and he reaches forward, resting his hands on your shoulders to give you a firm squeeze. “See? That’s exactly the kind of thing that’s gonna drive Hange nuts. We’re all but guaranteed to ace the project—if we can pull it off.”

You swat his hands away, but there’s a lingering warmth on your skin from where his palms rested. “Ok, yeah. I’m open to doing this, as long as you pull your weight.”

“Why wouldn’t I pull my weight?”

“You’re always—” you gesture vaguely “—you’re always late for class or disruptive when Hange’s teaching.”

He opens his mouth to dispute you, but then closes it with a solemn nod.

“I’m really busy with my other classes, but why don’t we try to work on this independently and then meet up Monday mornings to go over the project? That way, we know what our objectives are each week and what we need to do together to get it done.”

Eren’s brows raise with interest. “Wow, this isn’t your first group project, huh? Sounds like you’re an expert.”

You scoff and roll your eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m used to babysitting.”

He clasps his hands together, resting them on the desk and leaning toward you with a smile. He’s always pushing himself into your personal bubble—you lean back with a frown.

“Don’t worry about having to babysit me, I’m more capable than you think,” he says. “And hey, how about, as a gesture of goodwill, I write the project proposal? You can review it before we submit it to Hange—of course—but since it’s my idea and all, I should be the one to do up the proposal, right?”

Eren Jaeger is a lot of things and you’ll soon find out whether capable can be added to the list.

He’s handsome—objectively speaking. He’s tall with long dark hair and piercing green eyes, like something right out of a fantasy novel, but it’s hard for you to swoon over his looks when he acts like such a mindless idiot all the time. His presence has always been disruptive in class—showing up late and breaking the flow of the professor’s lesson, whispering and laughing loudly with his friends at the back of the class, and high-fiving and yelling with all of his friends in the halls. He’s not really your type.

And you get the sense that Eren’s not used to hearing people say no to him.

You’re not used to relinquishing control like this. Because you’re always getting paired up with people that care about school less than a fraction than the amount that you do, even if it goes against your principles, you always end up taking charge of the project. You may hum and haw about how you don’t want the other group members to ride off your coattails, but at the end of the day, you want a good grade—so you’ll just suck it up and bare it and hope that you’ll never get stuck with them again.

It’s a bad habit, you know that, but it’s your survival strategy.

But maybe, just this once, you’ll let someone else take charge—it’s just the proposal, right?

 “Can you get it done by the end of this week?”

“I can certainly try,” he says, flashing you another grin. “It’ll definitely be ready before our next weekly meeting.”

You glance across the library to the large clock and seeing that your next class starts in fifteen minutes, you allow yourself to concede. “Fine, Eren,” you say as you begin to pack up your things, “but you need to get me your draft proposal by Sunday night, so I have time to look over it before our meeting on Monday.”

Eren watches you as you stand. “You got it, nerd.”

You ignore the flare of irritation that spikes from his words and instead, look down at him with a smile as you say, “See you next week, moron.”

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 5 Live Blogging

Spoilers below

Oh god this is kinda long. Again it is past midnight and I wont be editing this.

Three minutes in and I hate everything about Charlie's dad. Dude moves like a pool noodles. Not that big of a fan of his voice, but it matches everything else that's going on with him.

Rubber ducks?

The texture on whatever the edge of that couch looks like frozen static. Why is it like that? is it supposed to be glittering?

Everyone helping to fix up the hotel is nice but that level of support and cooperation kinda feels like it comes out of nowhere. Not a single on of the hotel gang had a comment about showing Satan a beatup hotel or that he's THE GUY in hell and they are perfectly okay and normal about meeting him. NONE of them are nervous about it???

Alastor looks like he's about to go feral, lol

Razzle and Dazzle suddenly showing up with zero introduction, that neat. And there the kitty that I assume is the hotel key and a mich needed plot device at the end of the season.

Wait are R and D pets?? Oop, they're they go. Nice cameos guys.

Acknowledging that Alastor named it the hazbin hotel only raises more questions as to why the named was kept.

Alastor not knowing what lucifer looks like feels wrong. Again he is THE GUY of hell, how does no one, especially an overlord, not at least know what he looks like.

Alastor saying fuck you is jarring, but in a funny way.

Lucifer is so hard to watch. Song time.

Alastor as a nun

Why are they having a dad battle?? what is their beef they've literally never interacted. It's just on sight.

oh god the fiddle.

accordion??

He called him a deas!?!

random woman...? Mimzy, okay.

She did not need to push Pen like that, poor man.

Finally Alastor backstory- hold on that doctor overlord tho.

Alastor being aggressive toward Husk is good development with Ep 4, but this should have happened first or in the same episode. Or the two episodes should've been released as a set. Anyway, see him come off as an antagonist is good considering he's supposed to be one and all.

Vaggie why would you mention Angel's drugs while trying to sell lucifer on your road to redemption plan?

Lucifer's 'wackiness' is getting tiring fast what's his character supposed- THAT FUCKING STATIC IS BACK. Its on the windows too now.

Somebody fucking said it, thank you. I don't doubt that Charlie coukd redeem so sinners, but most of them are used to doing whatever they want. Being in heaven is a hard switch and considered tge extermination are for fun, anyone who might get redeemed is not looking at a good time. Maybe if there was a way for them to be reincarnated thenthat would work better.

Giant Alastor. Welcome back to may favorite character list.

The hotel gang eating popcorn is funny. No notes.

Alastor actually carring about the hotel is interesting. Even if it is just for entertainment, him telling Mimzy to leave like that was neat. Also, is it just me or is Mimzy animated odd. It feels jerky, but not in an intentional way.

Song #2.

He sounds like a country singer trying a new genre for the first time.

He says that he cares about her so much, but he actively doesn't interact with her. Charlie says as much at the beginning of the episode.

Oh cool so they were never close, why?

Lilith is faceless because...? It kinda takes you out of the sad song moment.

Literally what was stopping them from getting to know each other? They lived in the same house. If ut was Lilith, she's been gone for seven years. If Lucifer cared about knowing his daughter that much he should have jumped on the chance, not make rubber ducks, or whatever he was doing. It wasn't like he was ruling hell cuz no one knows what he looked like.

Wait, why could Mimzy guess who he was if Alastor hardly knew him?

Credits are rolling. I did not care about either of the songs. Alastor makes this episode, Lucifer shatters it. He isn't even convinced Charlie's plan could work, he just wants to support her. Like good job as a dad, but support alone isn't going to get the job down.

Hopefully the next episode will answer if redeeming sinners is even a possibility, like physically.

Ep 5 is like my second or third favorite only cuz I don't really feel anything for the first two.

[peachym00]

4 Minutes stream of consiousness...

spoilers below for yet more of my dumb thoughts for ep 3 lol

If I were Korn and Great called me asking what the time was I would think he were crazy ngl

But 11:01 obviously seems significant

Poor Great all he can think about is the time…and Dr.Tyme..hehe

I think he must be living through multiple timelines…is he reliving the past so that this time he can change it..because whatever has already happened is…bad…??????

Is Tyme stalking him or something?? he got a cruuuusssshhhhhhh

Omg GREAT IS SO HECKING CUTE

“Want to have dinner with me?” CUTECUTECUTECUTECUUUUUUTTEEEEE

OH WAIT??????? why is he reliving this again?

Oh shit he’s telling Tyme he can see into the future. I wonder if he thinks he’s batshit… or if Tyme is living on a future timeline and already knows this…….so many questions

OOP Great’s asking him to dinner this time

Den is so fucking funny. Job is such a cutie pie.

And their first date is playing with arcade claw machines. What in the romcom is this I LOVE IT. Tymes like bitch let me do it. You’re doing it WRONG

Omg they’re so adorable together😭😭😭 pls let them be happy before they inevitably die😭😭Also side note—it must be so weird for Great every time he talks to Tyme and gets to know him more when he’s had those really graphic sex visions of them together. He’s like I have no idea what your favourite colour or hobby is but I know what you look like when you’re inside me🤣

Tymes parents died when he was young, which is why he lives with his grandma. Great’s parents were rich as fuck and spoiled him rotten but have clearly never loved him properly. Cool cool cool. Excuse me while I store this info away for future fic purposes😀

I do have money. But I’ve never been happy that’s genuinely heartbreaking. (Ideas of lonely Great longing to be loved and meeting Tyme who has more than enough love to give are BREWING I TELL U)

Omg the hand touching…..omg YES KISS KISSKISS…omg the flashback…..NOOOOOOOO GRANDMA THE COCKBLOCK WTF… that would have been so sweet

Aw, Great’s so happy he might finally get some answers. CUTEEEEE THE LITTLE CAT TOY. Great is so fucking cute I’ll say it again

Ok who is this woman and what is she stealing..oh a key???? A safe key……oohhhh shes been caught. And she’s been shot nice

Tonkla😭😭 getting high is not going to help you feel better in the long run bby☹️ THAT WAS FAST JESUS they didn’t waste any time lmao loving the show of lube and condoms. Okay not to be a Debbie downer but I rly think this is a bad idea because TONKLA IS GRIEVING he is so vulnerable rn. A bad time for fucking people we barely know I fear

The amount of bare butts in this is truly amazing

The cat toys holding hands is the cutest fucking thing and then BAM a sensual shot of Great in his tighty whiteies looking all moody, smoking on his balcony at night

Jesus Christ, those thigh tattoos will be the death of me

Great: rich boy student turned detective lol

Korn my dude…you’re giving Kinn vibes, and that’s not a good thing at this point lmao

Great, I know you want answers but you have GOT to be careful about who you tell about your seeing into the future problem

TYME????? Why are you HOLDING KORN AT KNIFE POINT?????? JESUS omg yes GREAT JUMP ON HIM

OMG HES TAKEN OFF HIS MASK???????

and of course that’s the end…only seven days to go until the next ep lol

[hismercytomyjustice]

Also, because I have nothing better to do with my life, here are the song inspos for my Bloodweave BG3 fic Ancient Books and Horror Stories title and chapter titles!

Mostly I pick them because of particular lines I like in songs that embody what I’m trying to write. Almost all my fanfics have song titles as their titles because I’m terrible with and get very stressed out about titles! Yay!

Songs beneath the cut to save people’s screens. I don’t think there’s any spoilers included for the fic if you’re a reader who wants to check these out.

I am apparently just very bored and feeling particularly introspective today. And also in a wildly yappy mood.

Oh, well! ┐(´∀｀)┌

Fic Title: Ancient Books and Horror Stories - Big Houses by Squalloscope

Heard this one originally on the podcast Welcome to Night Vale. It’s the weather for, I believe, episode 33. I’m not caught up on Night Vale, tho I did an actually get to meet Cecil Baldwin and Joseph Fink at one of their first live shows back in 2013. I even got a pic with them and an autograph and they are so beyond fucking nice. I fucking love their show and them.

This song ended up working better than I thought for the fic as a whole and I love it so much.

Chapter One: Why did it have to be me? from the Mamma Mia 2 Soundtrack. I’m sorry I’ve only ever really experienced ABBA through covers, please forgive. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I struggled with this chapter title because it was originally gonna be “Ancient Books and Horror Stories” before I realized I wanted that to be the actual title. I like it tho! A little more upbeat than I necessarily wanted this chapter to feel, but captures the “helplessness” of falling in love with someone haha.

Chapter Two: All I Know is I Don’t Know a Thing - Dust and Ashes from The Great Comet of 1812 Musical

I fucking love The Great Comet of 1812. Hands down one of my fave musicals of all time. I am NOT IMMUNE to Josh Groban’s wiles.

I feel like Gale and Pierre have a lot in common, both being nice scholarly types who long for connection and a Great Love™.

Chapter Three: For I Sing Songs Until the Break of Dawn - Noel’s Lament from Ride the Cyclone

Not as familiar with this musical but love a few of the songs from it. Felt Noel envisioning himself as a sex worker really fit with how Astarion sort of views himself. Y’know minus the part of actually wanting to “be that fucked up girl.”

Chapter Four: This bottle of light from the sun - Calling the Moon by Dar Williams

I think this was actually an accident, oops. I was looking up the lyrics for Call on the Moon by D’Anna Stewart because I really liked it on the First Kill soundtrack (LET’S GO LESBIAN VAMPIRE LOVE STORY). I don’t know if I’ve ever heard the first song prior to me trying to find the lyrics again for this. OH WELL, still like the chapter title.

Chapter Five: Lucky to have what's left of your sanity - Digital Hallucination by OR3O

Spotify recommended this to me and it is a BANGER! Love OR30’s music in general (my fave is Greedy) even though I’m not super familiar with her inspiration for most of them. OR3O was the start of my descent into Electroswing, I fear, but damn if I’m not loving every minute of it.

Chapter Six: Give me one reason why I should live - I Imagine You’re Upset from Bat Boy

My bff in high school introduced me to the Bat Boy soundtrack. I thought she was joking at first. But here I am, still listening to it and loving it all these years later. Yay more vampire related inspo! Can you tell I like vampires?

Chapter Seven: A Hunger So Strong - Comfort and Joy from Bat Boy

MORE BAT BOY?! It’s more likely than you’d think!

Chapter Eight: Shared our Tears and Shed Our Sorrows - Stay, I Pray You from Anastasia

This is the result of me mishearing the actual lyrics of “shed our tears and shared our sorrows” and fucking loving the twist of expectations. OH WELL. More oopsies on my part. BUT I REGRET NOTHING.

Chapter Nine: I should be fine but it's all too much - Overwhelmed by Royal & the Serpent

Damn if this song doesn’t speak to my anxious ass OCD having self.

Chapter Ten: Sink your fangs into my soul - Hold Me, Bat Boy from Bat Boy

Uhhh only just now reading how many chapter titles are from Bat Boy. This was not intentional. WHOOPS.

Chapter Eleven: The Pretty Lies, the Ugly Truth - Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds

This group was introduced to my bff who used to listen to them a lot while I was riding in her car with her.

Chapter Twelve: How can nothing seem to last - This Too Shall Pass by Danny Schmidt

Heyyyy!!! More Night Vale weather! This time from episode eight! I started relistening to the podcast recently as well as their after show (this one included the weather artist) and came to really love this song.

Chapter Thirteen: Under a gathering storm - A Gathering Storm from Hadestown

Fucking LOVE the music from this musical. Yay Greek mythology too!!! Only been obsessed with that since I was I a literal child. Hermes has always been my fave, which is why I gravitate towards rogues/thieves in BG3 (coughAstarioncoughmyTavcough).

This may have actually begun my descent into Jazz related music and thereby Electroswing… And then Hazbin Hotel attacked…

Actually got to see this musical in person and loved every minute of it! Tho I’d suggest maybe knowing how the story of Orpheus and Eurydice plays out before going. Was with some friends who DID NOT and were a bit upset at the ending, haha.

Hmm. I’m sure there’s no parallels to that myth and this fanfic AT ALL.

Chapter Fourteen: Hoping you will ever find me in any place - The World from .hack//sign

Got into this anime around middle school/high school (can’t remember which) and fell in love with Yuki Kajiura’s music. Still listen to a bunch of songs from the .hack//sign soundtracks and used to actually own the CD haha. Really need to sit down and rewatch the anime it at some point.

…also just found out she composed some of the music for Demon Slayer and Aldnoah.Zero too. God she’s fucking amazing.

Chapter Fifteen: And they'll teach you not to pray to light - This Too Shall Pass by Danny Schmidt

LOOK WHO’S BACK. Didn’t realize I used this song twice but IF IT FITS!

Chapter Sixteen: At least then I would be free instead of frozen - I Think You’re the Devil by Ellee Duke

The vampire lesbian romance from First Kill is BACK BABY! And this time I didn’t confuse the song for a different one! Yay! Fucking obsessed with this song tho. Love so much of that soundtrack in general tbh.

Chapter Seventeen: I have Died only to Find I’ve Come Alive - Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds

Ayyy look who’s back! Another unintentional repeat but OH WELL. Apparently I have no self control. This is going to be part one of the two part epilogue!

Chapter Eighteen: Trees Instead of Gravestones - Big Houses by Squalloscope

And the only INTENTIONAL repeat in this whole thing is *drumroll* Big Houses!!! This is for part two of the two part epilogue!

Felt very fitting to “start” and end the fic with the same song. It’s also not lost on me that the song is kind of about dealing with religious trauma and embracing your spirituality your own way.

Between this and This Too Shall Pass, one might think there may be “complicated relationship with spirituality” undertones to this fic! Definitely couldn’t be inspired by me growing up in the Bible Belt! No siree!

Anyway, if you read this far, kudos to you! And if you check out any of the music, I hope you like it!

Did not intend to steal from so many vampire related songs, but OH WELL.

I literally went through my Spotify playlists looking up lyrics for songs I liked that I thought might fit and put the snippets I liked in a notes doc with no added context. So yeah, serendipity lol. Genuinely the only one I actually meant to use twice was Big Houses. Dunno how the rest of those repeats snuck in.

So, ahem, can you tell I fucking love musicals???

ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª

[amor-immortalem]

The Price of a Soul

Summary: Solaris wishes he could bring back his mother from the afterlife- that he could right the wrong that he has done. He would give anything to make it happen but what could be worth the price of a soul?  

Word count: 5.1k 

Content warning for: natural disaster, and graphic descriptions of wounds. 

A/N: I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to format this as I wanted to try to write it like how a debriefing (is that even the right word? Ehh, I don’t know…) would be written detailing the events leading up to and after a natural disaster but I don’t know if I did such a good job at it…. 

This was supposed to be a one shot for Solaris' Birthday but somehow I lost myself in the writing and ended up with this part being 12 pages... oops.

Anyway, as you read, you’ll see the abbreviation btq. It stands for before the quake. Okay bye!  

・・・〆・・・ 

(24 August, 13:59, one week btq) 

“So, you want me to skip the whole back-to-school open house thing and just spend the day with Solaris?” 

“Do you have anything better to do?” The demon quirks a brow, “Aside from sporting events, you’re not allowed at school functions due to your tendency to get yourself into… trouble. I figured this would be a good way to keep you occupied.” 

Azalea thought for a moment. “What’s in it for me? I had plans to try out for the volleyball team this year- maybe branch out from just track and field… tryouts start that day, y’know.” 

“Nothing specifically other than having an opportunity to break your cousin out of his depressive state for the day. It is his birthday, after all,” Lucifer shrugs, “but if you’re so busy I can ask Melissa, Cyrus, Aurelius, or even Zulima to do it instead.” 

“Wait, no, don’t. I’ll do it.” She’s quick to shoot the idea down. “The only time Solaris ever wants to hang out is if he needs to study and doesn’t understand the material. It’ll be a nice change.” 

“You have my gratitude. I tried talking with him myself, but he seemed… disinterested in the conversation.” 

“Yeah, that tracks.” the half-demon sighs as she rubs the back of her neck. “Yer his dad. Some things are just uncomfortable to talk about with your parents. I got a whole bunch of thing I won’t tell mine…” 

“Such as?” Lucifer quirks a brow. 

“N-nothing.” The teen is quick to divert the conversation before it can get her into trouble, “Don’t worry about it. If it were a big deal, I’d have already come to you about it. Anyway, I gotta get going- I’m s’pposed to meet the boys for lunch ‘n I don’t wanna be late. Bye!” 

Azalea’s out the door before Lucifer can even get a word in edgewise. 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 09:00, 11 hours btq) 

The week passes quickly, and the day is finally upon them. Azalea found herself just waiting around in her uncle’s living room for Solaris to show his face for the day. Lucifer had given her his credit card and one sole instruction: Use the card to give his son the best day ever. 

After an hour of waiting, the half-demon is getting irritated and frustrated with just sitting around. She marches her way up to her cousin’s room and kicks open the door. 

“Rise ‘n shine, fucker! We got shit ta do ‘n daylight’s a-wastin’!”  

The sudden commotion frightens the black-and-orange-haired half-demon as he falls from the top of his loft bed, letting out a shriek on the way down. 

The pendant around his neck is now sparking with suppressed demonic magic as Solaris glares up at his older cousin. 

“Azalea, what- and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck?” His glasses are askew on his face. “I was sleeping before you decided to break down my door.” 

“I call bullshit on that. It’s ten in the morning now- you never sleep past seven. Anyway, c’mon, quit yer mopin’ and let’s get moving. Get dressed in something suited for walking. We’re goin’ out. Happy Birthday, by the way.” 

With a few grumbles, Solaris is on his feet. He dusts himself off as Azalea heads back downstairs to give him a little privacy. 

About thirty minutes later, Solaris makes his way downstairs dressed in the most comfortable clothes he owns. 

“Alright, I’m ready. Where are we even going?” There’s a tired irritation in the 16-year-old’s voice. “Wait, did Dad already leave for RAD?” 

“Hmm? Yeah, your old man already took off. Maybe if ya hadn’t been putzin’ around in your room all morning, ya coulda seen ‘im off.” 

“Oh…” Solaris frowns, casting his grey and red eyes downward, “I thought I was supposed to go with him today. It’s the back-to-school event, after all. I was going to get a feel for the campus before classes officially started back…” 

“Ehhh, it ain’t all that special- plus you’ve been to RAD loads of times when you were little.” Azalea sighs. “But if yer that hard pressed to explore the campus, I’ll take ya up there later once the event is over myself.” 

“Don’t worry about it. There’s always another day, I suppose.” Solaris is quick to hide how disappointed he is- how he feels like his father seems to be almost embarrassed to be seen in public with him. 

“Aight,” she slings an arm around the younger teen’s shoulder as she herds him out the door. “Next stop: lunch and then Devil’s Coast!” 

・・・〆・・・ 

31 August, 11:00, 9 hours btq) 

Lunch wasn’t too bad, Solaris thought to himself. He really would have rather stayed in his room feeling sorry for himself all day, however. It didn’t take him long to figure out that his father had asked Azalea to spend the day with him. That she hadn’t done this of her own free will. 

Out of all of his cousins that Lucifer could have chosen, why Azalea specifically? Solaris loves his troublemaking cousin, there’s no doubt about that- in fact, there’s never a dull moment when she’s around- but at the same time he envies her. 

She’s everything he wants to be: Studious, self-assured, confident, strong. She may not see or feel it, but she is highly respected by most of her peers. And most important of all, she’s the pride of the family. And Solaris is… not any of that. The only thing he is a murderer- an embarrassment. 

14 short years ago to this very day, he took the life of his mother and unborn sister with his own claws, rending them to shreds in his father’s absence. Ever since that day, Solaris’ demonic powers have been sealed away by an enchantment his aunt cast on the pendant hanging around neck.  

Why did it have to be her? 

“Solaaaaaris, heeeeyyy,” the boy’s attention is drawn out of his thoughts by Azalea. 

“Sorry- I must’ve zoned out…” is all he weakly mumbles. 

“Man, yer too in your head, y’know that?” Is all the white-and-black haired girl sighs. “This is s’pposed to be a fun day. Don’t spend it stuck in a prison.” 

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Solaris still doesn’t smile although he appreciates his cousin’s advice all the same. 

“Yeah, I would. I know our situations ain’t the same and it would be wrong to equate them, but I still know what yer feelin’.” 

She really doesn’t 

“Anyway, I already paid for our lunch so let’s move on before Devil’s Coast gets too packed.” 

With a nod from Solaris, the pair make their way to the amusement park. 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 19:30, 1 hour btq) 

The pair of half-demons, with the help of Lucifer’s credit card, had a total blast at Devil’s Coast. There was only one attraction left to hit: The Hall of Mirrors. 

“They say it just reopened after being closed to prep it for Halloween.” Azalea smiles as she and Solaris stand at the entrance. The cousins were both avid fans of horror. “Wonder what kinda theming the park went with this year.” 

A cacophony of blood-curdling screams followed by the sound of howling laughter could be heard coming from inside the building. 

“We’ll just have to check it out for ourselves.” Solaris has the brightest, most genuine smile he’s had on his face all day as his grey-and-red eyes sparkle. “I bet they won’t get us with their tricks, right?” 

“Only one way to find out! And if we get separated, just meet me at the exit” And with that, Azalea is charging into the Hall followed close behind by Solaris. 

It doesn’t take the pair long to get separated, wandering around to dead end after dead end. The mirrors had been enchanted with a spell that mimicked the abilities of a bogeyman.  

Things started off small, each of them facing minor fears as they wandered but it wasn’t until Solaris had nearly gotten to the end of the maze-like structure that he came face to face with his worst nightmare. 

There, standing in the mirror in front of him, was an exact copy of his toddler self on the day his demonic powers fully manifested for the first time, a feral, unthinking look in his grey-and-red eyes, glasses hanging around his neck with the lenses broken out. He’s caked in blood and viscera- horns and wings a disgusting mix of red, black, and brown. 

Behind that was his mother’s lifeless body, deep gashes lined her chest as bone and flesh rose up out of the wounds. Her stomach absolutely eviscerated as blood hemorrhages from all the wounds.  

The way her lifeless grey eyes stare deep into Solaris’ soul makes his stomach turn but what finally breaks him are the remnants of what would have eventually been his baby sister in a few months' time. Pieces of cartilage and horn, an arm, a leg here and there- a barely developed wing or two even- scattered on the ground at his reflection’s feet like a broken toy. 

The half-demon falls to his knees huddled over as he gags and wretches, the lunch he’d eaten earlier this afternoon emptied from his stomach as it gushes past his fingers while tears stream down his face.  

“Look at what you’ve caused.” The boy’s head snaps up at the sound of his father’s voice. 

“Dad, I’m-” 

“I left you alone for 20 minutes and you couldn’t even control yourself for that long.” 

“I didn’t- I’m sor- it was an accident! Please!” 

“How embarrassing. I’m ashamed to even call you my son.” 

Those very words shatter the half-demon’s world. Sparks fly from the pendant around his neck as demonic energy starts to seep from it. 

Without any thought, Solaris takes off- runs faster than he’s ever moved in his life- to wherever his feet will carry him. 

Azalea is waiting outside the Hall of Mirrors for her cousin to emerge. It had been a half-hour already since she’d come out on the other side and now, she was starting to worry. 

“It shouldn’t be taking him this long. The maze wasn’t even all that hard…” she murmurs to herself. “Maybe he already went around to the front to wait for me?” 

Jogging around to the front of the attraction, the 19-year-old is confused when she doesn’t see her cousin. The park was closing soon so, seeing no other option, Azalea finds herself heading back to the entrance of the Hall.  

She’s stopped by an employee who’d told her the attraction was now closed for cleaning- apparently some poor sap’s stomach wasn’t able to handle the horrors of the mirrors’ enchantments. 

The news gives Azalea pause. These mirrors had similar abilities to bogeymen and what exactly was Solaris’ greatest fear? She wracks her head for the answer. He’d told her not that long ago so it should be a simple answer. 

In seconds, a massive earthquake rocks the park. Cracks appear in the ground as various demons shriek in horror. Solaris is missing and a giant earthquake nearly levels Devil’s Coast? Azalea doesn’t have a good feeling about this. 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 20:20, 10 minutes btq) 

The back-to-school event is finally winding down to a close. This wasn’t what Lucifer wanted to be doing on his only child’s birthday, but he can only hope that Azalea had made up for it tenfold with whatever plans she had made for Solaris. 

The demon does feel bad. He’s always hated having to choose between his responsibilities as RAD’s vice-headmaster and his responsibilities as a father especially on a day like today, but sometimes, in the end, it couldn’t be helped. He would just have to make up the time tomorrow. 

What a horrible father I am… Leaving my son to celebrate his birthday practically on his own… 

Perhaps, if he left right now, Lucifer would be able to make it in time to take Solaris out for a birthday dinner and then they could open presents together. 

“Thank you again for your help, Lucifer.” Diavolo smiles as he gives his dear friend a pat on the shoulder. “I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.” 

“I’m only doing my job. Nothing more, nothing less.” The demon remains distracted still beating himself up over this. 

“Still, Barbatos and I couldn’t pull an event like this off on our own.” The demon lord’s smile never wavers as he speaks, “We’re done with most of the work. It���s alright if you take your leave. The day may be over but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate what’s left of the night. Also, I have something for your son as well.” 

“Thank you, Diavolo,” Lucifer takes the gift, “I’m sure Solaris will appreciate it greatly.” 

As the Avatar of Pride turns to leave, a massive earthquake rocks the grounds of RAD, knocking out the power, collapsing several of the older buildings on the campus and knocking over entire shelving units and anatomical dioramas in the classrooms not as badly affected. 

Lucifer’s phone rings almost immediately after the earthquake subsides. His heart leaps into his throat when he sees just who exactly is calling. 

“Azalea, what’s wrong?” He tries to hide the worry in his voice as she hurriedly tries to explain what’s happening on her end. “What do you mean you can find Solaris?” 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 20:10, 20 minutes btq) 

He doesn’t know why he’s here, standing in the mausoleum Lucifer had constructed for Solaris’ mother fourteen years ago. Maybe it was the fact of knowing her body was entombed here underneath the statue of her likeness that gave the 16-year-old a small comfort. 

It was always like that for Solaris. Being so young when it all happened, the half-demon never got to fully grieve the loss of his mother. For the longest time, Solaris didn’t even know what had happened to her- the emergence of his demonic powers had not only caused him to run out of control, but the overwhelming pressure of it had broken all the bones in his tiny body. 

Lucifer had only told him a couple years later after Solaris, 5 at the time, asked if his mother would ever be coming home from the human world or if she was too sick from the Devildom’s everlasting darkness to stay with them anymore. Ever since, the teen always comes here when he’s sad or hurting emotionally. 

In the still quiet of this mausoleum, he can cry here and no one but the dead will know of it. 

“I’m sorry!” Solaris sobs, air catching in his throat as he presses his head against the stone at the statue’s feet. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so-” 

The black-and-orange-haired half-demon’s words are cut off in a fit of coughs induced by how harshly he’d been crying and the dust in the environment. His lungs ache from the lack of air as he gasps in between sobs. 

“I wish you were here.” His voice sounds so small, so fragile, as he speaks to his mother’s grave, “I miss you. I wish it was me that died that day- it should have been me! You guys could have just had another kid but you… you were irreplaceable! Nobody else will ever take your place in Dad’s life…” 

The 16-year-old’s body shudders as he takes a breath to compose himself a little more. Crying so harshly as he’s been doing is giving him one hell of a headache. 

“I hate myself… for what I did to you and the baby… all due to abilities that I can’t even use!” His hand comes up to grip the charm on his necklace, the once cool metal now searing hot as the impression of it is branded into the skin of his fingers and palm. “I would give them all up if it meant you could come back to life. My abilities, my life- even my soul! I’d give anything to take your place and pay for my crimes! Just please… come back…” 

Silence falls in the mausoleum once again until Solaris feels a shock to his hand. He recoils as the piece of jewelry breaks apart and the charm hits the ground with a ‘clink-clink’ and rolls away. 

Slowly, the ground begins to rumble and vibrate beneath him. The 16-year-old can only look around and he feels as though he’s being watched by something unseen. Energy is building up in the air around him that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up as his demon form manifests for the first time in fourteen years. 

And then he feels it: the violent thrashing of an earthquake. Amidst the quaking of the ground, the entrance to the mausoleum had collapsed, leaving Solaris trapped inside while fissures opened up around him as the entire structure tilts onto its side, the statue of his mother topples over leaving her grave uncovered as the teenager is sent flying. 

He can feel the way the back of his skull cracks as he smacks his head on the stone wall. Black spots invade his line of sight as he starts to lose consciousness as the earthquake ceases and he can hear a woman’s voice calling to him frantically. 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 20:40, 10 minutes post-quake.) 

In the wake of what was undoubtedly one of the worst earthquakes the Devildom had ever seen, the Avatar of Pride is out searching for his only child. Lucifer just hoped Solaris was safe and he hadn’t managed to fall into one of the many large chasms in the ground that had opened up during the disaster. 

Azalea had volunteered to search with him, but Lucifer decided she’d serve a better purpose at Devil’s Coast acting as a direct proxy for Diavolo to guide first responders in any search and rescue efforts and evacuation efforts. 

In the back of his mind, Lucifer can’t help but worry that Solaris might have been the cause of the earthquake. Before, when Solaris had first manifested his powers 14 years ago, he’d managed to collapse the foundation of their house. Now that those abilities have had time to grow in strength and stockpile within him, Solaris could easily cause widespread disaster due to his lack of ability to control himself. The very idea of it makes the Avatar of Pride uneasy- sick even. He doesn’t even know where to start looking for his son. What could have even happened for Solaris to ditch Azalea at the theme park to begin with? Something doesn’t feel right- like he’s missing something important. 

There are too many demons on the street- too many that might impede his progress in looking for his precious son so, manifesting his demon form, Lucifer takes to the sky. With a bird’s eye view of the city and extraordinary farsighted vision, the demon can see that the fissures that opened up in the wake of the quake all originate from one central location: the graveyard where his wife was buried. Something was nagging him to take a closer look there, so the graveyard is where he goes. 

Touching ground right in front of Aubrie’s mausoleum, the demon is shocked to see the front of the structure collapsed and caved in. Not only that but the air still crackles with pure demonic energy that’s not too dissimilar from his own. It feels like his worst fear is about to be confirmed. 

Removing the rubble from the entrance is an easy feat for the Devildom’s third most powerful demon, but what awaits him inside the mausoleum, Lucifer could never prepare for. His expectation was that Solaris- his pride and joy- would be shaken up from the earthquake but alive, nonetheless. What he finds is not only his beloved child unresponsive but his dead wife trying desperately to wake the half-demon, begging the boy to respond to her. 

How was this possible? 

The audible gasp he lets out is enough to draw the human’s attention to him. Her face is red from crying as more tears gather in her stormy-grey eyes. 

“Lucifer... He’s not waking up... I-I don’t know what to do.” 

・・・〆・・・ 

When Solaris wakes up, he can’t recall what he’d been doing or where he’d been. All he knows is that he’s surrounded by a deep pitch blackness. 

“Hello?” His voice echoes off non-existent walls. “Is anyone there?” 

“So, you’re awake, are you?” Something (or was it multiple things) in the dark calls out to him. It sounded like there were three voices, maybe more, all garbled and spliced together. It immediately puts the 16-year-old on edge. 

“Who’s there? Where am I?” The back of his head really hurts. 

All at once, the darkness gives way to a shining, golden light as it forms into some kind of creature in front of him. It was bird-like in appearance not too dissimilar to one of his uncle’s crows, but it felt ancient, threatening in a way Solaris had never felt before. 

“I...” the creature pauses, voice raspy and gravely like it hadn’t spoken to another soul in a millennia or five, “answered your pleas. You offered up a bargain and I gave you what you wanted in exchange for a price of my choosing.” 

“Pleas? What pleas? I don’t plea for anything.” Suddenly he can hear his own voice in his head. 

I would give them all up if it meant you could come back to life. My abilities, my life- even my soul! I’d give anything to take your place and pay for my crimes! 

“You offered up your soul if I would return your mother to the world of the living, did you not?” the avian entity tilts its head to the side. “So, I gave you just what you asked for.” 

And Solaris wants to say he wasn’t serious- he didn’t mean it. But he can’t. Those words said in the tomb came from the deepest part of his aching heart.  

“How can I know you’re not lying?” The half-demon asks, “You could tell me anything- lie to me as not to make me an unwilling captive. What are you even going to do with my soul now that you’ve got it? Eat me?” 

“It’s lonely here.” The being’s voice sounds pitiful and child-like now as its body also shrinks to the size of a child. “I’ve been here in the dark for so long- ever since I woke up, maybe even longer perhaps. All I want… All I want is a friend.” 

・・・〆・・・ 

(31 August, 22:40, 2 hours, 10 minutes post-quake) 

How did this happen? How does a dead person just come back to life? 

Lucifer and Aubrie stand face to face in Solaris’ room, their child had been carted off for another battery of tests to see how badly he’d been injured in the earthquake. He was breathing on his own, miraculously, and his body was mostly unscathed but the pool of blood beneath his head in the mausoleum was worrying. A head injury would be more than devastating. 

“Just tell me he’ll be alright, Lucifer.” Aubrie’s voice is hoarse from all the shed tears, “I just want him to be okay.” 

“The doctors are doing everything they can. He will be alright- I'll make sure of it.” It’s a promise the demon’s not sure he can keep. “It’s all going to be okay.” 

It’s quiet between them as he pulls her into a tight, protective hug, burying his face in her hair. She smells of graveyard soil and dust, reminding Lucifer that not too long ago her body had been buried beneath the earth. 

“I missed you...” his voice comes out quieter than it’s meant to be, in fact he’s not even sure if she’d heard him or not. 

“How long has it been?” Aubrie returns the hug. 

“Fourteen years to the day. Depending on the doctor’s findings, once they bring Solaris back, we should go home. We’ll come back tomorrow after we’ve had time to rest.” 

And Aubrie can only nod at that. There most likely won’t be anything more that either of them can do for their son so it’s only logical that they leave and wait for more information when it’s available. 

・・・〆・・・ 

“Man, disaster management ain’t really my strong suit,” Azalea sighs as she sits outside the gates. She was feeling absolutely drained from all the running around she’d done. As the half-demon pulls out her phone, she notices the 30 missed calls from the entirety of her parental unit. “fuuuuuck they’re gonna kill me when I get home... I should call at least one of ‘em and let ‘em know I’m safe.” 

Azalea tries Thirteen first, praying to whatever unholy god is listening that she doesn’t get chewed out by the reaper for not answering her phone. 

“Where are you?” The line picks up immediately and Thirteen sounds absolutely pissed. “Do you know how worried we all were when you didn’t pick up the phone? You’re lucky your mother and father are out having to work disaster relief, or they would be-” 

“I know, I’m sorry!” She knows Thirteen can’t see it but the nineteen-year-old has her head bowed as if she was giving a deep heartfelt apology. “I was at Devil’s Coast with Solaris when this all went down and then Solaris went missing and then Uncle Lucifer put me in charge of managing search-’n-rescue and general disaster management right after. Look, I’ll come home right now, I promise.” 

“You had better.” Is all the pink-and-blue-haired woman can huff out. “I’ll let your parents know you’re safe, but I have to go. I’m getting a call from your uncle for some reason.” 

The line clicks off and Azalea starts to head back home. 

・・・〆・・・ 

“This can’t be good...” Mammon whispers to his older brother as Aubrie and Arella stare each other down. The latter looks like she’s seen a ghost. 

“You’re telling me,” The Avatar of Pride grumbles, “I’m still trying to figure out what the hell even happened at her grave. It has to be some kind of magic...” 

“Maybe it was a trade- a soul for a soul?” 

“Given Solaris’ current condition, I’m not above that being a possibility.” 

“How is he doin’? Ya said he cracked the back of his head pretty badly- any chance that’s gonna have lastin’ consequences?” 

Lucifer doesn’t answer right away, rather he heaves a heavy sigh through his nose. Solaris was breathing on his own and scans of his brain showed that there was no loss of function that might indicate brain death- on the contrary, his brain was incredibly active, and the scans also showed movement in his eyes akin to that of rem sleep. Lucifer doesn’t really know what to make of that. 

“The doctors think he’s just sleeping- that he’ll wake up in the next few days, but Solaris has never been this deep of a sleeper. I’ve always been able to wake him easily and, in the mausoleum, - Mammon he’s not sleeping. That much I can tell you with certainty.” 

“Wouldn’t hurt to have Belphie pay him a visit though. I know ya think you’re never wrong when it comes to your kid, but they could always surprise you.” 

Turning their attention back to Arella and Aubrie is just awkward now. Arella still has that disbelieving look in her eyes. 

“It can’t be...” The black-haired human says softly, “Who are you really?” 

“Rells, it’s really me. I don’t know how or why but I’m-” 

“No.” Tears are forming in her emerald-green eyes. “If it really is you, then show me the scars that formed when I failed to save you that day. I can’t accept any other proof.” 

Aubrie vaguely remembers the time just shortly before her death. How the last thing she remembered seeing and feeling before it all went dark was Arella’s tearful expression and her hands that were placed on her chest and stomach.  

Slowly the orange-haired human begins to unbutton the high collar of her dress shirt to reveal the deep scarring on her chest where Solaris had sunk his tiny claws into her. 

“Oh my god...” Arella brings her hand to her mouth as a gasp escapes her before she tackles her childhood friend in a tight bear hug, sobbing uncontrollably. “You’re alive! I’m so sorry.” 

“I know, it’s okay.” Aubrie’s voice is quiet and calming. “You did your best- that’s all that matters.” 

・・・〆・・・ 

(5 September, 5 days post-quake) 

The Devildom had slowly started to heal from the chasms that had formed in that disastrous earthquake only five days prior. Led by Beelzebub, demons with all kinds of magic based in the element of earth had come together to repair the disrupted ground and damage to housing units and shops. After that came the slow process of rebuilding those areas that had been most highly affected by the forming of the cracks. 

R.A.D. starts back later from its summer holiday break this year and for once, Lucifer is not there working himself to death. He’s with his wife and incapacitated child. 

Solaris still hadn’t woken up from what the doctors thought would only equate to a couple hours’ nap.  

They keep running tests on the half-demon all in an in-vain attempt at rooting out the cause of this mysterious coma. 

“They’re obviously missing something,” Aubrie mumbles to her husband after yet another meeting with the doctors. “I don’t buy this whole ‘just sleeping’ nonsense. 

“Agreed.” The Avatar of Pride nods. “I’ll revisit your grave later today with Barbatos. Perhaps that will give me more clues as to what went on just before the earthquake hit. For now, we’ll head home for lunch and then I’ll be off to pick up Solaris’ new glasses.” 

The grey-eyed woman nods as she takes her child’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She brushes some of his orange and black hair off of his face. 

“Dad and I are going now but we’ll be back again to check on you.” She says softly as she presses a kiss to his forehead, “We love you so much.” 

“Come back to us soon, Son. We’ll be waiting.” Are his father’s encouraging words. 

The pair wait just a few moments longer to see if there was any sign that Solaris could hear them- any sign at all that he was still in there but when nothing happens, they just frown to each other before gathering up their belongings and taking their leave. 

・・・〆・・・ 

To be continued

A/N: I always regretted killing Aubrie off for some reason, so I brought her back. Now let's see if I can make a plausible work around to keeping her alive while also letting Solaris stay around.

[unsleepingtales]

We’re back! It’s folk fair time!

Get got!!

Oh sick you get a salad with the lobster bisque?

I fully forgot Fabian was proficient in glassblowing

Ooooooof

They’re all so good at this game. And so deeply in it.

Awwww riz has a board in Adaine’s tower now

Oh please tell me he’s using a wild magic table to decide what happens from Fig’s bardic

WHAT

This is horrifying

We’ve talked so much about the quangle I forgot that they’ve barely acknowledged it in the show

That was shrimp vibes for sure

Murph’s incredulous ‘oh good’

Siobhan <3

Dome!!

The cubby’s house is so fun

Brennan letting his folk fair roots shine

Yeah I was thinking about that and I didn’t have the chance to make a coherent post but. Why is my clerical gnomance performing at the folk festival.

That drum circle thing is exactly some folk fair shit. Idk how many other folk fair kids follow me or watch d20 but I need to make sure everyone who was not a folk fair kid knows how Eerily Accurate this is.

Definitely swingers.

This reminds me soooo much of the arts festival I go to every summer lmao

Cassandra was married??

Hello??

Whoooo did Cassandra marry??

Cassandra being married to or engaged to Sol or Helio would be wildddd. And would kind of say something about why Kristen is so connected to them.

Like. Kristen was the chosen of Helio. If Helio and Cassandra were married, and Kristen left Helio, then Kristen going and becoming the prophet of Cassandra would be a weird roundabout return? Or deeper betrayal if they weren’t happy?

Dust mites suck

One thing about Brennan is he loves a magical axiom.

Ok so living gods can’t talk about dead gods to mortals

That’s fucked up!

Hee hee hee!

Kristen wants to get coffee with her parents?

Buckyyyyy

Kristen is just having visions now I guess

Shatter stars??? Are those the same things???

That was uncalled for

Yeah no I get that it was a bit but that really is crossing a boundary. Lines are weird and wobbly around the family situation and the band but that just felt weird.

Holy shit?? That’s sick??

Oooh look at the fairy lights

That’s a folk festival baby!

Kristen’s original tie dye look would actually probably be very fitting

OOP

What are you ON about

Zac is bordering on real world annoyed

You’re literally not

I hate it I hate it SO MUCH

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING THE FOLK FESTIVAL

STOP IT PLEASEEEEEE

You’re not the cops!!

WHAT

YOU CAN’T DISINTEGRATE A STUDENT????

Fabian whyyy

Why does he get lair actions??? This is gorgug’s house!!

You have no fucking jurisdiction here man

Fucking creepy as shit

Horrifying!!!!!!!!

This is how the audience finds out Lou has had sex before. Ok.

Gorgug puts his goggles on. I do not see it.

WHAT???

We been knew this babes

Somehow I think grix did not want this.

One thing about Fig Faeth is she’s going to imply the admin are pedos.

Kristennnn

It’ll just stab him normally

I keep thinking it and then getting too distracted to write it but Lou’s hair looks great

Thus, it has been goaded!

Fifty seven damage on one turn <3

Rude

Oooooooooh that’s a fucking sick spell

The washing machine adds three to wisdom saves?

Leans back against what??

Bahahahaaaaaa

ICE FEAST

I love the duo shots happening. Siobhan and Zac. Ally and Murph.

Fight me in the sky!

That’s soooo dark

Ok good I was trying to figure out how Ruben wasn’t gonna clock Fig-as-Wanda clearly fighting alongside the bad kids

A PODCAST <3

Ok! What?

Sickkkkkk

Unreal

Lmaooooo

Awwww their crew is so sweet <3

Horrifying!!!

Yeah Murph was right, that energy was Not gonna make the save

Are you kidding me

The lawnmower animation has me deaddddd

Pleasure and lawn maintenance 😭

What does that MEAN

So funny for all of this to happen less than five minutes after Brennan said they were doing really well in this fight

The shift from fun magic shit to ‘I Shoot Him With My Gun’ is always so funny

Fury of the ball!!!

Nice!!!!!

You can’t call it that man.

Rick. Why is there a vulture again.

Gilearean rolls over here

The complicated women podcast (the cw 😭)

Fucked up!!!

Dominate monster???

Wait did Adaine already use her bardic?

Augh

Eyyyy

FUCKS SAKE

I’m best medium rare 🥲

Oh my goddddd

They all want them to do this

Famously

Why are you doing this

We just gotta hit this guy once

WHAT THE FUCK BRENNAN

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me

I’m gonna lose it

[mako-and-tails-and-stuff]

Mako Mermaids F/Feb Day 19 For Sure

Day 19 For sure, Ondina/Weilan, 657 words, Rating T

Everything was perfect. Weilan had spent all afternoon getting every single detail as perfect as she possibly could. Rose petals starting in the hallway and leading to their bed, a heart drawn out in petals on top of the sheets. Candles too, so many candles. Little tea lights each once spaced equally apart, bathing the apartment in soft romantic lighting. 

She had a bath all ready to go too, bubbles piled high and more candles dotted around the bathroom. 

The most important thing was on her person and had been all afternoon. A ring. Silver with a tiny diamond tucked away in a little black box in her pocket.

Weilan went to pat her pocket and found it empty. Oh fuck. 

She searched everywhere. Ondina would be home any minute and she had lost the goddamned ring. In a flurry she threw one of the pillows off the bed sending it flying across the room. 

It worked, the black box sat just partially buried under the other cushion. Weilan grabbed it and opened it - the ring was still safe inside.

“Um Weilan? Why is there a pillow on fire?”

Weilan spun round to see Ondina standing there and the pillow she had just thrown beginning to smoulder into flames.

“Oh fuck!” Weilan snapped out her hand and condensed the water from the air into a blob before chucking it down onto the pillow.

“Weilan don’t!”

Ondina sighed as she fell to the ground. Her tail thumped into the rose petals, the motion of her fin sending some floating around. 

“Oops.” Guess some of it splashed on Ondina. 

“What’s all this for?” Ondina asked, looking around the remains of the rose petals. The ones on the floor were disturbed by Ondina falling, the ones on the bed wrecked by Weilan throwing her pillows and not to mention the charred pillow on the floor. 

“I had something planned but I think I’ve ruined it,” Weilan let herself sink down onto the floor at the foot of the bed and avoided Ondina’s eyes. She had tried so hard and it just all went wrong. 

“My answer is yes.”

“Wait what?” Weilan’s head snapped up.

“That’s a ring right? In your hand? You were going to ask me to marry you?”

“You really want to marry me?” Weilan asked, “Even after all this?” She gestured around the mess she’d created. Looking closer she could see some of the candles had spilt wax on their carpet, 

“For sure.”

Weilan wanted to squeal and jump in that moment, instead she opted for her language of love - sarcasm and jokes.

 “You can’t say that at the altar you know, or in front of whatever High Priestess marries Mermaids. Typically it’s ‘I do’ people say.” 

Seven Months Later

“And do you Weilan take Ondina to be your Mer-wife? No matter what the oceans and tides throw at you?” Evie asked, standing between the two. Ondina still didn’t officially exist, so an official land people ceremony with a registrar was out of the question. So Evie was asked to do it. 

Zac and Cam were Weilan’s Bridesmaids, standing to one side. Mimmi and Sirena were Ondina’s bridesmaids, both wearing soft blue dresses matching the boy’s ties. Weilan had gotten Rita to walk her down the aisle for this land ceremony; her grandmother having been there for their official vows under the Full Moon where the Eastern Pod’s version of Mako’s High Priestess had joined them together. Ondina had also stolen Rita to walk her down the aisle much to Rita’s amusement. 

“For sure,” Weilan grinned, unable to resist the call back to the proposal. 

Ondina laughed, their friend’s joining in and the pair leaned in resting their foreheads against each other.

“And do you Ondina take Weilan to be your Mer-wife? No matter what the oceans and tides throw at you?”

“For sure.” 

“I now pronounce you wife and wife, you may now kiss the bride!”

[its-tortle]

From what I've seen apparently matty did the nazi salute once, and made racist and islamophobic comments, like ik it's none of our business who taylor dates but even so I feel like taylor should be a bit more aware of the company she keeps

hi! no i totally get what you mean! it's good to hold people accountable for their actions and i understand that taylor's association with him is stirring things up for people, especially cause her image is so comparatively clean and tame. matty has definitely done some questionable if not outright fucked up things and i'm not saying he hasn't. and i don't want to defend him and say he's an angel and uwu baby girl because he's not, but let me try and explain my insight as best i can.

i've been a fan of the 1975 for six or seven years now, and their image is not about being clean. i remember being 15 and listening to their songs about drugs and sex and suicide and going oop this is a bit problematic. but their image is also not mindless -- especially in recent years (most explicitly in their last three albums) the 1975 has been about social commentary. sometimes this is sad "I'm sorry if you're living and you're 17" and sometimes it's a more goofy-toned "QAnon created a legitimate scene but it was just some bloke in the Philippines" (both from the 1975 (2022)). in either case, their lyrics are full of irony and provocative lines for the sake of commentary. love it if we made it starts as follows:

Fucking in a car Shooting heroin Saying controversial things Just for the hell of it Selling melanin and then Suffocate the black man Start with misdemeanours And we'll make a business out of them

and it's not a song in favor of any of that. instead, it's pointing out the weird polarized state of things and knowing that that first line will get you to listen. that's what it's all about i think, a plea for attention. matty keeps opening his mouth on stage and going "not to be racist but-" *band starts playing* because he's doing some fucked up ironic bit and he knows that a video of that will go viral. it's promo yes, but it's also the continued curation of this ironic polarized image. his songwriting reveals that he doesn't mean any of that, he's just doing a shoddy job of making that clear to people who aren't in on the 1975 cult.

matty is all about saying controversial things just for the hell of it, but i don't think he means most of what he says -- of course this doesn't mean it's okay to say things if it hurts people. i just think he's very self-aware. matty knows he's a mess. he's a recovering drug addict who has been writing songs with his mates since he was 14 years old and isn't cut out for being famous in an age of cancel culture.

I'm sorry about my 20's I was learning the ropes I had a tendency of thinking about it after I spoke "We're experiencing life through the postmodern lens" Oh call it like it is!

or

And I took shit for being quiet during the election Maybe that's fair, but I'm a busy guy I get stoned nowhere and get paid there It's not really how babies get made So, I take a minute when I think I won't die from stopping Oh, I'm just a busy guy

i don't know, i don't really want to keep just throwing lyrics at you. i just think that his songwriting is so self-referential and reveals so much about his image and relationship to fame.

he's not good at sincerity and he's certainly not sweet. his bits aren't funny to everyone. he keeps hurting people with his careless use of words, especially on stage. if i wasn't a fan of his band and knew all of their music by heart, i wouldn't be happy to see him with taylor either. so, i get it.

he did recently acknowledge the controversy at one of his shows and sort of apologized in a very matty way. it made me happy to see, but again, i get if it's not enough for those that have been targeted by his bits. i'm a white woman, and i can not accept his apology for anyone else.

i'm not trying to make excuses for him or tell anyone else how to feel about him or his connection to taylor. this is just my take on it, and if it makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to block me !!

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

I am hoping you are having a wonderful 6.3. What does Agni and Estinien do after the events of 6.3 ? They must be tired as hell. ( Feel free not to answer this till your done with the MSQ)

(I am <3 Did MSQ on Agi on patch day; did it on Serafina today)

With Esme with Luci Currai in Costa del Sol, Agnes felt it strange to return to an empty home by herself. Estinien is off with the Radiant Host and will be back later, though it's already...what the fuck time is it? She glanced at the chronometer on the wall and saw it nearly seven bells in the evening. Shrugging, Agnes put her staff in its designated area and trudged to her bedroom. I'm very stinky, so might as well shower and hope Estinien gets back soon...

***

Agnes opened her eyes slowly and saw a familiar face next to hers.

Then it hit her.

I showered. I wanted to lie down for a moment.

Oops.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Estinien teased. A scarred hand brushed some dark red hair out of her face and caressed her cheek. Oh gods, when he does that...I just want to melt! I love him! "How are you feeling, my angel?"

I love him. I love him so much. I'm so happy we can finally go on adventures together. "Alright, love. Sorry about last night." She said softly, her cheeks feeling hot.

A deep throaty chuckle rumbled from within him. "I was much the same. I believe I arrived soon after you fell asleep, and feeling tired myself, I showered and went to bed." The hand that previously caressed her check slid under the blankets and gently rubbed her exposed thigh. "Besides, tis nice to have this time with you."

She wrinkled her nose and giggled. "Yes, because there's no little love here to wake up and demand cuddles. Oh," she blinked. "Mum said she's happy to have Esme stay until tomorrow. More time to ourselves. She called on the linkpearl after I got out of the shower."

Her husband grunted and squeezed her thigh. "Good. Gives you more time to rest."

“You as well, love.” She whispered. They settled into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, sharing loving smiles and adoring looks. I LOVE HIM! Then Agnes felt her stomach rumble. When was the last time I ate? Buuz in Garlemald? Oh dear. “I think I’m a bit hungry.” She giggled softly.

Estinien nodded. “As am I. I can prepare us--”

Estinien was silenced by his wife kissing him. “No, love. Let’s go out. My treat.” As Agnes got out of bed, she felt a familiar hand pinch my ass! NAUGHTY MAN! “I know what you did, ser.” She said with a smirk.

“I know not what you mean, madam.” Estinien chuckled. “But I’ll never turn down a free meal, particularly one paid for by my sweet and pretty wife.”

“Your wife is a lucky woman.” Agnes murmured as she rummaged through a dresser for something nice to wear. I deserve to look cute going out with my grumpy dragon. She felt a strong pair of arms envelope her, and Agnes could not help but sigh.

“We are lucky to have one another, my love.” Estinien said with a squeeze. “We are both so, so lucky.”

[montygreen]

Tagged by the lovely @xoxoemynn to share my top 5 songs of the moment. Get ready for a weird mix of stuff that happens to make up my music taste!

Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine: Honestly, I think “five seconds flat” is the album of the year for me.  Lizzy’s vocals, her lyrics, her composition, the fact that each song on this album feels different and distinct, god it’s just so fantastic. Doomsday is definitely my favourite song from the album, however, but I also really love All My Ghosts and Orange Show Speedway (but also Reckless Driving, Erase Me, Call Me Again.... and the... entire album honestly.)

Ghosts by Laura Marling: I can’t exactly explain why I vibe with this song, but... I vibe with this song (and honestly, the entire album...) Funnily enough, it was actually my virology prof from this past term who recommended her stuff to me, but did not inform me that she has SEVEN ALBUMS. One of my friends who was familiar with her music then helped me out and directed me to listen to just three of her albums. I deciding to listen to “Alas I Cannot Swim” while doing some last minute studying for a quiz in virology and when the first song came on (which is in fact “Ghosts”) I immediately decided that it was exactly my vibe, musically, in fact the entire album was. And now this song is one of my top listened to of the year and I discovered it at the beginning of November.... oops... (BUT in my defence, I sing + play my guitar more frequently than I listen to music, so my most listened to songs of any year end up with maybe around 100 or so plays maximally? It’s never actually THAT much, all things considered)

Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson: This song only makes an appearance because I am still in a Christmassy mood and one of my favourite aspects of Christmas is Christmas music, and I’ve listened to this song in particular quite a bit recently. It’s fun, it’s catchy, and also I sound fantastic when I either sing along to it, or play it on my guitar (and let’s be real, 90% of the music I like happens to be stuff I can sing.)

Happy & Sad by Kacey Musgraves: I just love this song!! It’s SO pretty and that key change between the second chorus-the bridge-and the final chorus is LOVELY. Also another example of, I know I sing this song nicely and therefore I like it. The lab manager of the lab where I’m doing my thesis recorded me singing this one (she took me somewhere in our building with really, really nice acoustics and recorded my singing because she likes my singing voice.) And then the next week, when I saw my thesis supervisor for the first time she was like “oh Leila, we listened to that recording Dhruva took of you last week when we were driving back from the conference this weekend, you have a beautiful voice!” which was SO FUCKING SWEET!!

Storm to Weather by Grace Petrie: This song has very Ed-Stede vibes for me. I’m not usually one to latch onto songs because of ships, but this, I suppose, is an exception. 

Tagging: If you see this and want to participate, consider yourself tagged!

[squirrel-the-adhd-mom]

Chapter Seven- Why do I even try?

10/2/2022

You know it’s amazing to me how I try so damn hard to do something extra for my son and it’s not good enough. Literally never. Went to find myself a pair of fuzzy crocs to wear around the house. Threw a fit because he didn’t get something. Went to target saw a hat I thought he’d like. I want a watch but I’ll take the hat. Trying to avoid a melt down we grab the hat and start to leave. Got all the kids hot chocolate on the way home as soon as Theo takes it out of the holder it gets knocked over and spilled. Did I mention we mopped the fuck out of the floor yesterday? You’ve gotta be kidding me! Why can’t everything just stay done for 24 hours or even 5 damn minutes.

If it’s not one thing it’s another. If it’s not another things a different thing. If it’s not a different thing it’s a golly damn, fuck, frick, frack type a thing. Well and if it’s not that then you might as well burn it down and start over. How’s your day going? Better than mine I hope. Theo has been in a mood all day the ODD part of his ADHD is showing. For those of you who do not know what ODD stands for it is: Oppositional Defiant Disorder. You know the way the normal kids brain works is you ask them to do something and more times than not they do it. Some times they get distracted or fight you but for the kids brains who run like Theos brain does or mine as my parents would tell you. Insert eye roll here. You ask them to do something and they will look you dead in the face and as it goes in one ear and put the other they will turn around and promptly do whatever the fuck they want. Sometimes that means I’m going to look at you like your stupid. Sometimes that means they scamper off and destroy something. Hit their siblings. Cause a ruckus whatever. Regardless an entire day of this is to much. I’ve been overstimulated for 90% of the day. Sigh. Deep breathes. It’s almost bed time.

Remember the if it’s not one thing it’s another? Well here’s another one for you. Theo decided sharpen a pencil. Great, grand, fantastic if he would’ve done it over the trash… He proceeded to do it over the couch. Pencil shavings EVERYWHERE. So he then decided to use the vacuum without asking for help. Ugh. Got it done eventually and then decided to wrap the cord up and had the hook flipped upside down. This pushed him out of a relatively calm state to an overstimulated state quickly. Screaming and yelling “I can’t do this” and “I am stupid.” This point usually doesn’t last long but the words “I am stupid” sting. Because he is so incredibly smart and the way he tears him self to shreds at only six years old is heart breaking. Not only heart breaking but reminds me how much like me he actually is.

Addi was just sitting here talking to me. For like five minutes and I didn’t hear a single word she said. Here my friends is another toxic ADHD trait. Sometimes I could be doing something. Sometimes I could just be sitting here thinking about what color the sky is. I call this zoning. Usually it happens when I am hyper fixated on something and someone tries to talk to me. Poor Logan had to deal with it all the time. Especially when he starts talking about guns or work. Oops. I’m an ass hole. Shoulder shrug.

Having ADHD and being a girl has got to be the worst thing ever. Trying to sleep while my brain is going hay wire is for the birds. I’m going to try and shut down for the night.

[cassiopeiaemiliagaunt]

Home is a Person | S.H.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve catches you in a lie and you’re forced to tell the truth about your home life. However, you did not expect the confessions that followed.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: quite angsty, reader has absent parents + an absent brother, hurt/comfort, Steve is a good, gentle friend, angst with a happy ending, lot’s of cursing oops Also, this fic doesn’t have any gendered pronouns towards reader, so it can be read as a GN!reader :))

Author’s note: Did I just write a Christmas fic in the middle of summer? Perhaps. Also, this is my first time writing for Steve so feedback is much appreciated! 

Disclaimer: GIF isn’t mine :))

✶✧✶✧✶

“Y/n? What are you doing here? Didn’t you say you had plans with your parents?” Steve’s voice is loud enough to be heard through the headphones connected to your Walkman. You look up at where he’s standing in front of your table, not sure how you are going to bullshit yourself out of this one.

✶✧✶✧✶

It’s 10 p.m. on Christmas and you’re sitting all alone at a diner at the edge of town - the only diner that is open on the holiday. As you have been doing for the last few years. Molly, the nice older woman who always works this shift, has placed your favorite milkshake next to you on the table. “On the house,” she’d insist, as she did every year. In a weird fucked up way, it has become the closest thing to a Christmas tradition you could imagine.

A few nights ago, you and your friends – consisting of Steve, Eddie, Nancy and Robin – hung out, enjoying a movie night. After, Nancy had asked what everyone’s plans were for Christmas and after hearing everyone’s plans to do stuff with their family, you lied and said you’d spend the day with your parents.

Truth is, you haven’t seen them since August. They’re in England now, you think. Or was it New York? You can’t keep track anymore. Ever since you were the ripe age of 14, they started leaving you alone more and more. It started out as a few days at a time. It gradually changed to a few weeks and when you were 15 they fucked off to god knows where for a few months, consequently missing your birthday.

You would say you’re used to it. To the big house and the dark backyard. The silence that rung at night. The loneliness. But you could never get used to it. The sadness of being left alone, of not being cared about by your family, clung to you like a small dagger plunged into your heart. And you were unable to pull it out.

It had all started when your brother left. He was seven years older, but you loved him. And you were under the impression that he loved you, too. Maybe he did. But he didn’t love you enough to stick around. Once he was 18 he left and never turned back. He occasionally called. A quick call to let you know he was still alive. He never called more than five minutes, though.

Then, only a few years later, your parents started to pull away from you as well and the wound your brother made only enlarged. It was then you decided you didn’t need anyone. You carefully built walls around you and you were even cautious around your closest friends, not letting them know the situation with your parents.

So, you told them you would spend Christmas Day with your parents, having a nice meal together and other normal family stuff. You knew that if you told them the truth, you’d certainly get an invite to all of their Christmases, but you didn’t want some pity invite. You weren’t ready for them to know that sad side of you yet, weren’t ready to part from your independence.

And yet, you knew deep down you hadn’t fooled Steve. Every time you told a white lie about your parents - usually because people asked about them - you could see a suspicion forming in Steve’s eyes. He could see how you would get uncomfortable about the topic and as he lived quite close to you, he never saw a car in your driveway, with the exception of yours.

Maybe he noticed because his relationship with his parents is similar. His father was away often, but you knew Steve preferred it. You could tell he and his father didn’t get along from the way he talked about him and how he’d be more on edge during the periods of time his father was home. His mother was home more often and you had the impression they got along pretty okay. He had also said he’d be spending Christmas with her.

✶✧✶✧✶

“Oh, hey, Steve! What are you doing here?” you ask him awkwardly, completely ignoring his question about your parents, hoping he’d drop it.

“I could ask you the same thing, Y/n. Are you here with your parents?“ he asked again. It was obvious the table was only occupied by you. There was only one plate of - now eaten - food and only one milkshake.

“I-, um-,” you clear your throat, “well, um no actually.” You start biting your lips, a clear sign that you were getting uncomfortable with the topic.

Steve sighs. “Can I sit here?” he asks you, gesturing to the seat opposite you. You can only nod. Steve settles down and considers you. The silence that envelops the both of you gets more awkward with the second

“Why don’t you just tell me – us, your friends – what’s really going on?“ he asks finally.

You look down at your hands, not knowing what to answer. He’s onto you and you don’t know what to do next.

“Nothing’s going on, Steve, I don’t know what you’re talk-“ you start eventually.

“That’s a crapload of shit and you know it, Y/n,” he interrupts you harshly. This whole conversation was beginning to trigger your fight or flight response and it seems like your brain has decided to fight.

“Why do you care, huh? It’s my life and it’s none of your fucking business! I really don’t see why you decided to come in here and bother me about it!” you know it’s unfair of you, you know he has the best of intentions, but you feel like you’re being driven into a corner and it makes you lash out.

“I care because I care about you!” Steve matches your energy, clearly not wanting to let it go.

“Why, huh? Why do you?” you ask him, harshly.

“Because I like you, Y/n! I like you so fucking much! Fuck, I-, you’re so amazing and yet you close yourself off and you don’t let any of us help you and we really want to, okay? I want to!” Steve exclaims.   

It seems your brain has now decided it’s time to flight.

“I, I gotta go, I’m sorry,” you say, grabbing your stuff. You leave a couple of bills for Molly and practically run out of the diner, ignoring Steve as he yells your name.

You make it outside to your car before you start crying. You’re searching for your keys in your bag, but your eyes are blurry, your bare hands are cold and the sky is black. A sob rakes through your body before you can stop it.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you don’t have to turn around to know who it is. You’re gently being pulled into muscled arms, holding you close, keeping you warm.

“Hey, it’s alright, you can let it out,” he comforts you gently.

You wriggle out of his grip and face him with your tear stained face. “I need you to leave, okay? Because that’s what you’ll do eventually! It’s what everyone does! My fucking brother left! And now my parents! And I cannot go through that again! So I need you to leave now because if you don’t, you’ll make me fall in love with you even more and then you’ll go and I’ll be left behind again,” you yell in his face.

A look of understanding dawns on his face and you realize you just told him about your parents, about your deepest hurt and that you love him.

“Hey, Y/n, I’m not going to leave you, ‘kay? I love you and I have since the second Robin introduced me to you and I can’t imagine ever leaving you,” he tells you, calmly. Like it’s nothing. Like it’s obvious. Like it’s not exactly everything you ever yearned for.

You can’t do more than just nod, not really sure what to do with yourself. “Can I hug you now?” he asks, smiling gently. You nod again, tears still streaming down your face. He wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, whispering I love you in your ear.

You pull your head back from his chest to look him in the eyes and only see the same love you feel. The loneliness still clings to you, but it’s less strong.

His gaze drops to your lips and flicks back up to your eyes. He leans closer, eyes flickering between lips and eyes, quietly asking for permission. You nod and it’s all he needs before he attaches your lips. It feels like coming home and fireworks and cozy movie nights and so much more. It’s more than a kiss, it’s a promise. 

When you break away, Steve holds your cold face between his cold hands and smiles. “Let’s get you home, okay? It’s freezing cold outside.”

You feel more at home in his arms  than you ever did in that big, empty house. Maybe your home is Steve. Maybe you are home. But you let him guide you to his car, knowing you’ll always be home when you’re with him.

  ✶✧✶✧✶

A/N: That’s it! Let me know what you think about it ;))

[fuwushiguro]

I Value The Times That I Take You Out

part sixteen | masterlist | part eighteen

Yuuji Itadori x f!reader x Megumi Fushiguro

Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: University AU, all characters aged up. The reader is getting on my nerves oops <3 Warnings: 18+, pet names, cheating, arguing, family drama, cocaine use, depression, (sort of suicide discussion), pining. Words: 5.9k

Synopsis: You’ve been dating Yuuji Itadori for nine months. He’s the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, he cares for you deeply and he’s amazing in the sack. When new boy Megumi moves to town and joins your art course, you are shocked to discover he isn’t the quiet introvert you suspected him to be.

Was Megumi right?

No… no, he wasn’t. Was he? You shouldn’t have hooked up with him, he’s right about that much. If you love Yuuji the way that you say you do, you shouldn’t have hooked up with Megumi. But, just because you did hook up with him doesn’t mean that you don’t love Yuuji. You were lonely. And you were high. And Megumi…

Well.

Megumi was there.

And now, in this moment, you’re alone again. You’re sobbing on the ground loud enough for Toji to hear. He’d intended on chasing after his own kid. But after hearing your agonising wails he put that task on hold. He ran up the stairs to see you crumpled on the floor.

“C’mere, princess.” he whispers, voice laced with pity as he gets down on one knee next to you. You look at him for a moment, hesitantly.

God, he looks so much like his son. You’re hesitant to trust him. You don’t want to let him in because what if he’s just like Megumi? What if he’s playing nice and he’ll switch on you like it’s nothing later down the line? He can’t have inherited that rotten trait from thin air.

“Come on, come here.” he commands, beckoning you into his arms with two hands. And you can’t resist him. You move your body so that you’re hugging him. His enormous arms wrap around you and encase you in a tight yet fragile hug. He pets your hair as you cry into his shoulder. “What’d he do now?” he wonders, but keeping his tone soft.

“I h-hate him…” you cry, the sound muffles into his t-shirt. “I fucking hate him!”

--

Megumi’s head is pounding.

What’s the matter with him? He doesn’t do jealousy. He doesn’t do feelings. He doesn’t do this. And yet, here he is, suffering from a killer migraine and a twisting feeling in his heart that he can’t seem to comprehend.

He’s been standing on a porch ringing the doorbell for three minutes now. It’s not like he didn’t call ahead. He asked if it was okay to come over. And he was told it was fine. So what’s the God damn hold up?

“Open the door, it’s Megumi!” he yelled. And a few seconds later, the sound of the door unlocking blesses his ears. As the door swings open, he feels himself getting hotter. Angrier. He didn’t think this would bother him as much as it is. “You look just like him.” he mumbles.

“I didn’t think you were being serious about coming over. Haven’t you got better things to do? Like be an angsty little brat somewhere?”

“I need… stuff.” Megumi looks around making sure that no one is listening in to their conversation. “And you’re the best dealer I know, Sukuna.” he finishes.

Sukuna sighs, nodding, before sidestepping and letting his old friend enter his home. Megumi hasn’t been to Sukuna’s new place. He’s come a long way from being homeless and squatting on his friends couches, that’s for damn sure.

“No compliments on the bachelor pad?” Sukuna asks, sitting on the couch and kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“I’m not really here to talk about interior design.” Megumi responds.

“Let me get this straight,” he laughs, putting his feet back down on the ground and spreading his legs wide open. He pulls a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it dramatically, keeping Megumi on the edge of his seat as he waits for him to continue. “I haven’t seen you in, what, six? Seven years? You come to my house for a fix, and you can’t even be polite enough to make small talk?”

“Don’t say it like that. It’s not a fix, like I’m a pathetic drug addict. I just… I want a little something to take my mind off things.” Megumi defends his actions.

“Sure. Is that why you’re shivering on the hottest day of the year?” Sukuna laughs, puffing his cigarette before holding it out to Megumi, offering him a drag.

“I’m fucking SHAKING because I’m PISSED OFF. And now I’m even MORE pissed off because I came to a DRUG DEALER to do his fucking job and instead I’m getting ambushed.” Megumi rants. “I mean, come on, really? You’re judging me? You? A fucking drug dealer, I think it would piss anyone off.”

“Yeah, especially a drug addict.” he smirks.

“Ah, fuck you Sukuna.” Megumi scoffs.

“Wait, wait, I’m fucking with you.” Sukuna stands, walking to Megumi’s side and handing his cigarette to him. “I’m happy to supply. As long as you can afford it.” he states. Megumi nods, handing him a roll of cash. He smokes the cigarette he had been gifted and blows the smoke out of his nose, his eyes not leaving Sukuna as they start having a silent conversation.

“Where—” Sukuna stops himself, shrugging his shoulders and heading upstairs. “What did you want?”

“Coke. Or Molly. Both, actually.”

“Jesus, kid.” Sukuna snickers before his feet disappear from between the bannisters.

Megumi rests on the arm of the armchair, taking a few more drags than he probably should have. Maybe Sukuna had the right idea. He pissed off his entire family. His lifestyle didn’t match with their ideals. He was kicked out, but look at him now. He can do whatever he want, whenever he wants. He has his own place. Meanwhile Megumi is up to his eyes in debt with uni fees because he thought it would help him get somewhere in life.

Maybe Sukuna has got a right to judge.

He makes a small fortune everyday on idiots like Megumi.

But Megumi felt like he was superior because he wasn’t a high school dropout.

“Here.” Sukuna speaks, throwing the drugs down on the coffee table before snatching his cigarette back. “I assumed you wanted as much as that roll could buy.” he told him. Megumi nodded, agreeing as he picked them up.

“Great. See you around.” Megumi sighed, heading for the exit as soon as he pocketed his new purchase.

“Hold on, kid.” Sukuna spoke, charging ahead of him and blocking the door. “Entertain me, will ya? Have a drink with me.” Sukuna grins, heading for the fridge and pulling out two bottles of beer.

“Ugh… fine.” he relents, returning to the sofa. “Do you mind if I…” he asks, shaking the baggy of coke at Sukuna.

“Knock yourself out.” he tells him, bringing over the beers and slamming them down on the table.

“Want some?” Megumi questions.

“No, idiot. Have you never seen Scarface?” Sukuna returns with an exasperated look on his face. Megumi shakes his head, wondering what such an old movie has to do with his question. “’Don’t get high on your own supply.’”

“Whatever, guess I’ll go skiing by myself.” Megumi laughs, plugging one nostril with his finger and snorting the powder with the other. Sukuna shakes his head, disappointed. But Megumi either didn’t notice or didn’t care enough to comment on it. “Beer me.” Megumi tells him.

Sukuna cracks off the bottle cap with his teeth and slides it over to Megumi. He smirks, glugging enough liquid that he drains half of the contents. Sukuna notes how he appears visually relaxed now. Not uptight and ready to fight like he had been moments ago. It’s almost like he’s been tranquilised.

The sound of a violent iPhone ringtone disrupts the peace in the air. Sukuna squints at Megumi, noting that he hasn’t realised.

“Megs, your phone.” Sukuna comments.

“Ugh.” Megumi sighs, fishing it out of his pocket. “For fucks sake.” he adds, jarred, tossing his phone onto the coffee table after silencing it. Sukuna spins it around to see who’s calling, eyes widening when he sees Toji’s face taking up the entire screen.

“This— is this real or am I dreaming?” Sukuna wonders. “You’re talking to your dad?”

“Not at the moment, no. But he got the bright idea of moving into my house to ‘raise me right’ as if it isn’t too late.” Megumi answers him.

“What about Gojo?”

“What about Gojo? You hate him, what do you care?” Megumi laughs, swigging his beer.

“Forget I asked, then.” Sukuna tells him, drinking his own beer as the silence cuts through the room once again.

Megumi isn’t sure why he wanted him to stick around. He isn’t sure why he was so desperate for him to stay and have a beer and is allowing him to do drugs in his house. But he knows that Sukuna knows that Megumi isn’t the type to care enough to ask. So if there’s something he wants, he ought to spit it out.

“I— Megumi.”

“What?”

“Is my brother okay?” Sukuna asks, genuinely. Megumi can hear the concern in his words and he still can’t help but sneer in disgust. If it isn’t enough to be staring at his clone right now, having to hear about him is the icing on the cake. “I haven’t talked to him since before you left. I just—”

“He’s fine, probably.” Megumi tells him.

“Probably? Megumi, you’re his best friend. That’s why I asked you.”

“He’s not my fucking friend. I can barely stand looking at you because you look so much like him.” Megumi rants, finishing his beer in an attempt to calm the raging fire coursing through him. “He’s in Europe. Scholarship thing.”

“Did you have a fight?” Sukuna wonders. Megumi shakes his head, weakly, not knowing what to say. It’s been so long since this mess started. He can barely even remember it, now. He just knows that you are at the centre of it all. Stupid little you. “Megumi I don’t know anything about him anymore. Our grandfather wants nothing to do with me and neither does Yuuji. I don’t know where he lives. What he’s doing. I didn’t know he was at university. I clearly don’t know who his friends are.” Sukuna tells him.

“Why don’t you ask his girlfriend?” Megumi suggests, instantly regretting his choice of words. He stands up, knowing he’s had enough and that he’s more than ready to leave.

“I didn’t know that he was seeing anyone, either.”

“I don’t know what to do right now.” Megumi mutters.

“What do you mean?”

“His girlfriend… my dad invited her to stay at our place while Yuuji is away. I can’t— I can’t be around her.” Megumi explains.

“What’s wrong with her? Is she a bitch?”

“Yes… no. No, she’s not, not really…” Megumi sighs. “I’m gonna go to Gojo’s.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight? There’s a spare bedroom. And I have Scarface on DVD, you clearly need educating.” he laughs. “I’ll give you a ride home in the morning.”

“… alright.”

--

You’ve been staring at your suitcase since you got to the Fushiguro residence. Toji carried it upstairs and put it in his bedroom, still insisting that he’d sleep elsewhere while you were under their roof so that you can maintain your privacy.

It’s like a fever dream.

You can’t believe you’re actually here. You can’t believe that you let Toji convince you that it was a good idea to stay here with them. There’s so much tension between you and Megumi, and Toji can feel it. He knows something is going on but he can’t put his finger on it. He’s putting it down to previous arguments and what happened in the past.

He can’t blame you, it’s a tough thing to get over.

But he has no idea how much worse it’s gotten.

Toji’s lightly knocks his knuckle backwards into the door before opening it. It opens slowly, his way of attempting not to spook you too much.

“Everything okay, princess?” he asks. You nod, almost slower than he had opened the door. He doesn’t believe you. Why would he? Your eyes are swollen from all of the crying you’ve been doing. Your face is puffy, and your eyes are bloodshot. “I emptied the drawers and the wardrobe so you can make yourself at home.” he reminds you.

“Thanks…”

“Do you need a hand unpacking?”

“No.”

He sighs. Toji approaches you, resting on the balls of his feet and holds one hand on your knee. You can see just how desperate he is. He needs you to confide in him. He can’t get through to his own son, he doesn’t want to fail with you as well.

“Babe, you know you can talk to me.” he tells you. “And, if you’re worried about Megumi, he isn’t answering. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him.”

“I don’t want to be here, Toji.” you whisper.

“Tell me why. Don’t make some excuse, I want to know what’s going on.”

“I can’t—”

“Bull. Shit. Sweetheart, tell me.”

“No, I c-can’t,” you begin to feel tears rolling down your cheeks. Just as he’s about to ask again, you shuffle yourself off the bed and pull one of Yuuji’s hoodies over your head. “I’m going for a walk.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“I need some air!”

“No you can’t go out alone at this t—”

“Toji! I— I can’t talk to you! I can’t talk to anyone, okay? I have no friends. I would love a girlfriend right now to confide in but my whole class hates me or feels sorry for me! And that’s Megumi’s fault! I am suffocating because I can’t tell anybody what’s going on and I just want some space!” you yell, breaking down against the wall before Toji grabs your shoulders to keep you upright.

“I’ll take you somewhere in the car, okay? Somewhere you can cry and scream or whatever you want, I’ll stay in the car. I don’t wanna let you out of my sight at this time, it’s too dangerous sweetheart. Can ya compromise?” he questions. You sniffle a little before taking a few deep breaths. You can’t help but stare into his shimmering emerald eyes that remind you so much of his son. How can the same pair of eyes be possessed by such two different people?

“O-Okay.” you agree. “As long as you don’t try and make me talk.”

“Alright.”

He lets go of your shoulders, walking out of the room and down the stairs. You take your time, knowing he’ll need to find his car keys before you go anywhere. There’s a small mirror in the corner of his room. Nothing too fancy. But you can’t help but stare at yourself in it.

Will you ever stop being such a sorrowful soul?

“C’mon, princess.” he instructs. You exhale, deeply, before following him down the stairs and out of the door. “I’ll get us a McDonald’s on the way home.” he smiles, his scar pulling devilishly as he pulls out of his parking spot.

In hindsight, you’re glad he practically grounded you. If you had gone out alone in the dark night, you would have been terrified. There’s no way you can feel like that with Toji around. He’s so protective. And he’s scary, though you’d never tell him that. With you, he’s a teddy bear. But you’ve seen flashes of evil in his eyes when he’s giving people a piece of his mind.

Most of all, Megumi.

You feel yourself drifting off in the car. Your eyes are stinging and heavy. Toji keeps looking over to see you fighting the inevitable. And he can’t help but smile. How could he not? You’re so adorable.

“Princess,” he whispers, holding your thigh and shaking it lightly. “We’re nearly here, darlin’.” he continues.

You change your seating position, forcing yourself to be more upright and awake. You hold down the button in the car to open the window, hoping the cool night air will wake you up a little.

“You’re not gonna kill me, are you? Where are we?” you ask, rubbing your eyes. There isn’t a single streetlight around and no sign of civilisation. You can’t see a thing other than black trees against the dark blue sky.

“You’ve been here before, right? We’re not far from your parents.” he explains.

You quirk an eyebrow at him, hopping out of the car. The smell in the air is familiar. Real country smell. You look around. Once you look behind you, you see it. The brick monument on the tall hill. The one between your parents place and the city. The one you and Yuuji shared a Burger King at.

You’d kill for that moment back right now.

“Do what you gotta do, I’ll be here.” Toji tells you, almost leaning out of the passenger window to talk to you.

“I don’t know what to do!” you express. “I feel stupid in the middle of a field, what do I do?”

He jumps out of the car, joining you. He takes your hand and leads you further into the black abyss. “Are you mad at me?” he asks.

“No.”

“Yeah ya are, you’re mad I made you move in with us. Tell the truth.” Toji nods.

“Well, maybe a little.”

“Okay… so scream… ‘FUCK TOJI!’ like that.” he tells you. You giggle, thinking he’s joking and being silly to cheer you up. “I’m serious, babe, scream it.”

“Um, fuck Toji!” you imitate him, feebly.

“LOUDER!”

“FUCK TOJI!” you shout back. “FUCK YOU TOJI!” you keep going.

“Nice!” he laughs, and you can’t help but laugh back. “And you’re pissed at Megumi, right. FUCK MEGUMI!”

“Yeah, FUCK MEGUMI!” you yell, “I FUCKING HATE YOU MEGUMI!” you continue. “I HATE YOU FOR FUCKING ME OVER!”

“Keep going!” Toji encourages.

“FUCK YOU FOR DESTROYING MY SKETCHBOOK! AND FOR SPIKING ME! AND FOR—” you stop yourself, clearing your throat, knowing that you’re taking things too far. You almost slipped up. You were so close to blurting out what you had done together this weekend and the hotel.

“Why’d you stop?” Toji wonders.

“I— This was stupid.” you tell him. “I can’t do this.” Your lip wobbles, you turn away from Toji and begin running towards the monument. You know he’ll probably run after you, but you just want some distance between yourself and him.

“Where’d you think your running off too, princess?” he bellows, a laugh following soon after.

He gives you a head start, he’s just that kind of guy. He’s real sweet and considerate. But he’s not about to let you get too ahead of yourself. After around a minute, he starts running towards you. You’re almost at the first step of the hill by the time he grabs you.

It’s more like a tackle, really, though not as aggressive. He manages to rotate the two of you so that he falls onto his back, and you land on top of him. Both of you are panting, loudly, without saying in a word. Just staring into each other’s eyes as you try and let your adrenaline die down from what just happened.

“Wanna tell me what that was?” he asks, chest still heaving. You’re straddling his stomach, unable to tear your eyes away from his. You aren’t even sure you heard him. Did he speak? Is he talking to you? Is any of this real? “Huh?”

“I’m sorry.” you respond, quietly. You take yourself off of his body and sit beside him. He rolls over so that he’s lying on his side, so you do the same, facing him. “I wish I could talk to you. To anyone. I just— it’s too messy. I can’t.”

“You’re gonna drown under the weight of this secret, baby.” he tells you. “What’s so bad that you can’t tell me? You know I’m no saint.”

“I just can’t, okay? It’s bad. Life destroying.”

“There’s nothing you can tell me that would make me think any less of you, alright? I knew I was gonna like you when you fainted at your parent’s housewarming.” he teases.

“I— I never would have thought we’d be friends, Toji. I was so mad at you for being Megumi’s dad. I thought I’d just yell at you and we’d never talk again… Especially after you told me about your arranged marriage plan.” you confide in him.

“I’m sorry, I am. I’m sorry for what Megumi is, it’s my fault. And I’m sorry for seeing you with dollar signs instead of seeing you as a human being. You are… such an amazing girl, y’know? You are so strong, you never give up. No matter how much shit Megumi throws at you. I really admire you.”

“Me? Seriously?” you snicker.

“Seriously. You’re incredible, kiddo.”

There’s a lull in the conversation. One beat of silence too many to keep it from being uncomfortable. You’re speechless. There wasn’t any inkling in your mind that Toji held such a high opinion of you. And hearing him express it so confidently puts everything into perspective. It’s something Megumi could never do. Instead of being honest he lashes out. He thinks being nice for a minute is all he needs to do to get what he wants. And then when it doesn’t work, he’s back to being a complete dick.

But not Toji. He’s genuine. Sincere. He reminds you of Yuuji. He’s never shy about his feelings. He wears his heart on his sleeve and nothing is ever going to stop him from being honest with himself or anybody else.

The silence is killing you. The tension is palpable. You’re staring between his glittering eyes and scarred lips. And you reach out to him. Your hand cups his face, and you softly rub your thumb over the aged scar.

“What happened to you, Toji?” you ask him.

“Just an accident.” he answers, honestly.

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Not since I got it.”

“When was that?”

“Not long after he was born.” he tells you, it’s obvious he has zero intention to go into any further detail about it. “Is there a particular reason you’re so interested in my scar? Or why you’re stroking it?”

“I— no, just curious. Looks like we both have secrets.” you tell him, starting to pull your hand away.

But you can’t.

He holds your wrist with an iron grip, preventing you from moving it in either direction.

“Tell me yours ‘n I’ll tell you mine.” he smirks.

You’re looking at his lips intently, and then his eyes, and his lips once again. And before you know it, you’re lunging towards each other. Your lips are on his and it’s frenzied. His hands hold your entire head as you slowly rotate so that you’re above him. His hands stray, one tangles in your hair and the other is holding your hip. You can’t help but moan into his mouth, utterly powerless to resist him.

But that sound.

That gorgeous, sinful sound reminds Toji of where he is. He holds your shoulders, and pushes you away from him.

“Princess…” he sighs

“Oh my God.” you exclaim, realising what you’ve done. You stand to your feet and start walking away from him. “I didn’t—”

“Stop walking away from me!” he commands, catching up to you and turning you to face him. “It didn’t mean anything.” he tells you.

“I’m so fragile right now, Toji. You reminded me of Yuuji, I didn’t mean to kiss you.” you try and reason with him. “It’s your fault! All of your little pet names and the way you talk to me like I’m special to you, I can’t do this.”

“It was just a kiss, y’know. It didn’t mean a thing, I know that, and you know that! God, we just gotta keep quiet about this and it’s all okay.” he tells you. You scoff, raking your fingers through your hair. “I don’t want this to be a thing, babe. We’re friends, aren’t we? I say we just forget it and pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I— right. It meant nothing. I’m lonely and missing my boyfriend. We were having a moment and we got carried away. It doesn’t mean there’s anything here, it’s just a thing.”

“Exactly. There’s no reason for my kids to know it happened or your boyfriend, or anyone! Megumi’s made enough comments about how he feels about the idea of me being with someone his age, we don’t wanna give him anymore fuel for the bonfire.”

“I’m going to hell for this. I didn’t think I could be any worse of a person and then I do this.” you laugh in astonishment. You really are on a mission to find exactly where rock bottom is. This has got to be it, right? There’s no way that you can do anything worse than this. “Fuck it. McDonald’s?”

“McDonald’s.”

--

Megumi has been staring at the TV and hasn’t retained a single morsel of information.

“Why hasn’t this fucking movie ended yet? It’s been days, Sukuna.” he voices aloud. Sukuna scowls at him, not appreciating the besmirchment of his favourite film.

“Shut up.”

The credits begin to roll and Megumi cheers, excitedly. He picks up his jacket and his drugs and salutes Sukuna before hurrying up the stairs. The room was nothing but a bed and a window, but it was fine for one night. He takes off his clothes, except for his underwear, and climbs under the covers.

He scrolls through his phone, a stream of text threads from his dad and sister. He doesn’t care, though. He hates himself. He can’t begin to describe how much he hates himself and how angry he is at himself because he wishes you had been the one to text him.

“Megumi.” Sukuna knocks.

“What?”

He welcomes himself in, standing in the doorway and he watches Megumi scroll through his phone. “I want to meet her.”

“Who?”

“Yuuji’s girlfriend.”

“Huh? Why? You can’t.” Megumi protests, not liking the sound of that idea at all. “Listen, she’s not in a good place, okay? She— She’s been a total mess since Yuuji left and I know she won’t be able to handle seeing you.” Megumi insists.

“My little brother has a girlfriend and I want to know what she’s like! He doesn’t want me in his life, but I at least want to know the little shit is okay.” Sukuna argues.

“I can tell you what she’s like. She’s rich. Her family is rich, ridiculously rich. She’s an art student, like me. She used to love painting flowers, but not anymore. She’s sweet… really sweet. I hated it about her but, not anymore. She’s pretty, too, beautiful actually. And funny. She likes plushies, and she likes giving them human names. She thinks animals with human names are funny. And I’m pretty sure her favourite movie is The Shining. Every time I’ve been to her house the DVD case has been open and empty on her coffee table.” he rambles.

“Jesus, Megumi,” Sukuna snorts. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s dating her?”

“Shut up.” Megumi huffs, sinking further into his bed. “You know what? Do it. Do whatever you want, I don’t give a fuck about her. Fuck with her mental health. It’s nothing to me. But if she tells Yuuji he might hate you more than he already does.”

“Alright, alright.” Sukuna agrees, knowing he’s probably right about Yuuji. “Think I’ll be able to see her at least, when I drop you off?”

“You know what…” Megumi smiles, “Not a bad idea.”

--

“Mornin’ princess.” Toji gruffly speaks, sitting upright on the couch. “If you’re going in the kitchen, be a doll and make me a coffee, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” you reply. Your pink fluffy slippers capture his attention as you walk by him, he can’t help himself from chuckling.

You really are a princess.

It takes a while since you can’t get the hang of their coffee machine, but you manage. You put it down in front of him feeling proud of yourself. And he’s barely gonna rain on your parade, but he thinks it might be the worst cup of coffee he’s ever tasted.

You stand upright, completely brimming with pride. If only you knew each sip he took was reluctant. If only you knew his smiles of appreciation were fake.

Oh God.

He fucked up by lying.

What if you try and make him coffee everyday now?

Your prideful smile is short lived when you see Megumi walking across the pavement and towards the house. Even from this distance you can see the dark circles under his eyes. He must have been getting high, again.

You and Toji had both assumed he’d spent the night at Gojo’s. But the man waving goodbye at him didn’t look like Gojo.

“What the—?” you mutter. Toji looks at you. But the second he blinks, you’re gone. He hears the front door close and you’re on the other side of it. He sets his coffee down and follows you, standing in the doorway to see where you’re going. “Yuuji?!” you call out. The pink-haired man looks over his shoulder at you before continuing to walk away.

“Stop it.” Megumi tells you, standing in your way so that you can’t get to your boyfriend.

“Move!” you shout, shoving him aside before chasing after Yuuji. “Yuuji, stop!” you call, hurrying across the road. You take off your slippers since they’re slowing you down. It makes Megumi snort as he watches you run after him with your ridiculous pink slippers in your hand.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Toji asked him. “Listen, shithead, next time I call or text you better fucking answer.”

“This.” Megumi creates a circle motion with his finger. “Her being here, it’s my personal hell. You’re meant to be my dad, not hers. But you give more of a shit about moving her in than you do about how it would make me feel.”

“When are you gonna stop with this self-pity shit? It’s so boring, Megumi, I mean it. I’m fucking bored.” his dad responds, shaking his head and furrowing his brows. “Life is shit. Shit happens all of the time. Get on with it. It’s only a few days, just be fucking normal for once, yeah?” Toji adds, ruffling his sons hair.

You finally reach Yuuji. You grab his wrist and turn him to face you. You’re taken aback when you see him with a face full of; what you can only assume are tribal tattoos. There’s something different about him. Lots of things, really. His dark brown eyes look more reddish. He’s bigger. Maybe even slightly taller.

“I— missed you. When did you get back? And… what’s with the tattoos?” you question. You step forward to give him a hug, but he takes a huge step back.

“I’m not your boyfriend, sweetheart.” he tells you. His voice is rough and deep, so different from your boyfriends.

“Then who—”

“Sukuna.” he tells you, confidently. He smiles, gesturing himself as he speaks and waiting for you to acknowledge who he is. But you’re silent. Clueless. He’s like Yuuji’s twin if not for all of the obvious differences. “He didn’t tell you about me?” he asks.

“I guess not.”

“I’m his big brother.” he sighs. You gasp, covering your mouth with your hand and backing away from him. “Well this is depressing. I’m out, see ya.” Sukuna groans, ducking into his car.

You look back at Megumi with tears in your eyes. He’s laughing. You are crushed but he is laughing. You put your slippers back on, marching across the road and back to the house. Your fist is balled. And Megumi can see it coming. It only makes him laugh more. The only thing stopping your knuckles from knocking his teeth out is Toji holding you back.

“That’s enough! Both of you get in the fucking house.” he commands. Megumi goes inside first, and Toji manages to hold you back enough until you run out of energy and your arms go limp. Your tears begin falling from your eyes as you look at Megumi, unable to believe that he keeps finding more ways to fuck with you.

“You’re going to kill me. I can’t do this anymore you’re making me miserable!” you cry, using the back of your sleeves to wipe your eyes.

“I told him to stay in the car.” Megumi explains.

“Bet you fuckin’ did.” Toji snidely mutters at him.

“My boyfriend is gone. I have nobody. No friends. No family. I have nobody to cry to or lean on. I’ve done… unforgiveable things… I just— there isn’t anyone who can support me. And you, Megumi, are going above and beyond to push me to my limit.”

“No that’s not true.” he refutes.

“Well, guess what? You pushed me to my limit a long time ago. And you’re still going!” you continue. He has nothing else to say. You’re devastated, how can he tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel? “Have you ever felt so sad… that you think your body is going to give up on you? You’re just so sad that your body is gonna stop working and end it all for you? That’s how I feel. That’s how I’ve felt… for so long.”

“I’m sorry.” Megumi apologises.

“Are you?” you cry. You’ve been letting tears silently fall down your face the entire time. But now, you’re out of words. And you’re bawling. You sigh, retreating up the stairs to be away from him. You close the door carefully behind you, and scream into a pillow hoping that they won’t hear you.

But they do.

“Are you crying, dad?” Megumi asks Toji. He quickly wipes his eyes and clears his throat.

“That girl… I love her. You have no idea how amazing she is because you are too busy doing everything in your power to make her life difficult. Will you be able to forgive yourself if she’s pushed too far and—” he stops himself from thinking such a morbid thought, hoping that it will never come to that. “It broke my heart seeing her like that. Hearing her talk like that. I can’t imagine feeling so sad let alone being the cause of someone else feeling like that. But you don’t give a shit, do you?”

“Of course I give a shit…” Megumi tells him, “I swear I told him to wait in the car. He said he wanted to see her so I said look from the window.”

“It’s not the point, what about everything else?”

“Well I can’t turn back time and undo it all. Every time I think we’re gonna be okay she freaks out, I don’t know what to do!”

“Try harder!” Toji yells. “But no, you won’t, you just wanna get high and be a dick and throw your life away. I invited her here for you!”

“Fuck off. For me? Why did you think I’d want that?”

“I thought if you spent some fucking extended time with her, you’d see she’s a human being with feelings! I thought you’d find some common ground and maybe learn to live with each other. Fuck, maybe I thought you might even be able to be friends with each other. But no, you’re a fucking psychopath and it’s all my fault for making you like this!”

“You think I don’t know she’s a human being? I’m not a fucking idiot, dad. You’ve got no fucking idea how hard all of this is. You don’t know what I’m going through! Last time I spent extended time with her I—”

“What?”

“Nothing, I’ll try and talk to her.”

“Megumi, speak.”

“Dad, I really don’t want to.” he explains. “I— I just, can’t, alright? Please just… leave me alone. I’m doing my best.”

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