namor has a long life ahead of him so hes been lonely for a long time. just when he thought thats not going to change he found you who also age slow like him, fell in love with you, sighing in content that hes not going to have to spend another century alone again. now that he has you he get to live everyday knowing when he wakes up tomorrow he will have you by his side
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lonely
i want to be loved, held in someones arms and them held in mine. i want to run my hair through their locks, and cuddle with them in a soft bed and forget about the rest of the world. i want them to be obsessed with me, needing to touch me at all times. i want to hear them laugh, to see them smile, for them to tell me im beautiful and to believe it.
i want to be obsessed with someone and for them to want it even more than me.
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
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all i see now a days is hook up culture. No one gives a shit to try anymore. at least around here
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Regional at Best is so special because it feels so exactly like what it is, which is an album made by a young person, younger than I am now, who'd given up everything else to make this dream work and probably had no idea what the hell he was going to do if it didn't. Keep working a normal job? Go back to college? What do you do if the dream doesn't work, when you're an early-20-something who (like all early-20-somethings) has precisely nothing else figured out? What do you do if everyone's right and the art isn't worth it?
Then your bandmates leave. But actually, it turns out perfect anyway, because you end up with this other guy who also has precisely nothing else figured out and no plan B except to be in this very band with you. How rare and precious of a thing that is, to meet someone who believes in your art just as much as you do. At least if you fail you fail together, right?
I think RAB feels like the end of summer and growing pains because it exists in that same itchy, anxious space as your last summer before you graduate high school/college, when it begins hitting you that there will never be a summer like this again because next year you're supposed to be grown up. But the truth is you never figured out how to grow up and you never figured out how to stop dreaming. So many people have to learn that lesson for various reasons, but Tyler and Josh never did because they believed in it so much that I think it truly never could've failed. Even if they never got as big as they did w/ Blurryface, I think they never could've failed because they are for the dreamers.
Self-titled is complicated and beautiful and core to everything else they would do after, but RAB is the beating heart of what tøp was always meant to be imo. It's embracing the fear of getting older because you have no other choice, while acknowledging you're still a little afraid of the dark. It's a night light for the grown-ups who are still scared of long dark hallways they can't see the end of (and work email chains). You turn 23 and discover you probably don't actually want to die as much as you used to, and also that you still think pokémon cards are fucking rad, and both of those things are okay. And maybe you'll never get out of this goddamn town but it never hurts to dream
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Hah. In reality Great's parents skip town and he is completely alone when he gets shot, while in his head he pictures dying in his mother's arms. Which is fine. Totally fine
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