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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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ON THE TOPIC OF BARNABY. as well as his relationship with Wally.

So. To kick this off - Riv (@funonion) and I were Speculating, and they introduced me to the johari window:

They put Barnaby in the “facade” section, and I entirely agree. To quote them;

“So he’s Wally’s guide, right? He’s the “knowledgeable” one of the two and is always the one teaching him new things. And you know, it’s one thing if you’re just teaching him how to laugh or how to tell a joke. But.

Clown has given us two doors. One says that Barnaby understands Wally in a way the rest of the neighborhood doesn’t, and is willing to do his dirty work so to speak. The other says that their friendship was not a natural occurring thing and had to be enforced repeatedly within the show. HOW THAT’S BEING ENFORCED IS ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY but it is worth it to note.

What is Barnaby willing to keep? What is he willing to bury for his little buddy? I can’t say anything definitively yet, but the fact that I even have to ask is telling. The class clown archetype is usually used as a way to cover up for something else a character might be experiencing”

And my response, (I won’t directly quote because I have little things in the phrasing & elaboration to add / tweak );

Barnaby being a Comic Relief Character immediately raised so many alarms in my head. I love comic relief characters. They’re always so fucked up in one way or another, and Barnaby is almost certainly SO inauthentic. He’s wearing a comedy mask just as opaque as Wally’s own mask. In everything we’ve seen about him so far he’s either Teaching Wally, wisecracking/joking, or… pretty much nothing else. We got that moment of concern in audio 14-14, but that doesn’t reveal anything beyond genuine care for Wally.

Comedic characters have the best disguises. Their poker faces & ability to deflect is always top tier [and practiced], and just look at comedy-focused actors and entertainers - so many of them have severe issues, either with their mental health or life. From what i’ve observed both in that aspect & with fictional characters, they play it off & work hard to entertain/deflect [one in the same] right up until the end. Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism. Usually it’s both. If they laugh loud enough and make people think they’re lighthearted fools w/ nothing underneath, no one will look any deeper and thus they’re “safe”.

& I’m a little suspicious that Barnaby’s red/orange/yellow spots aren’t naturally those colors. While yes, he could be (in-universe) designed that way to echo Ms. Beagle, there’s a strong possibility that that’s not it. What if he paints them to feel a connection to her, or it’s a physical manifestation of Barnaby covering up his insecurities/issues - what if it’s part of him striving to convince the world that he is what he paints himself as.

The laidback funnyguy with a loving mom and not a problem in the world.

And I mean, Barnaby claims to be a natural blue and I believe him! But the other colors? I’m doubtful

(I was going to include the Cast As Lil Kids Designs in this since Barnaby has all blue spots, but given how early in 2021 it was posted and how there seem to be little discrepancies from the ~official~ designs, I don’t want to provide it as evidence.)

& on the topic of Wally and Barnaby’s relationship being both real and not - disclaimer, this conversation happened before my Updated Thoughts On Them post, so there may be some minor rephrasing here from what I originally said - I’m sure that the relationship started out as inauthentic. Wally was assigned Barnaby as a best friend and technically vice versa, but I don’t doubt for a second that it became real to some extent. Clown wouldn’t treat their relationship outside of “canon” WH stuff the way that he does if they weren’t actually friends. They’ve said that Wally & Barnaby would be friends in every universe (which melts my heart <3 platonic soulmates my beloved <3), so then I have to agree with Riv. what WILL Barnaby do for Wally? I touched on this in the Milk Theory, but especially if Barnaby prides himself on “knowing Wally better than anything else”, what would Barn do to preserve that?

This relates to another conversation we had - Barnaby possibly having abandonment issues. It’s such a choice to have him of all characters be explicitly stated as an orphan. That and while every other Neighbor with a mentioned family have a somewhat large one (Howdy and his gajillion relatives, Julie and her three siblings, Poppy and her crowded tree [note: Eddie has a mentioned mother, but that info is tenuous and who knows if there are other Dears]), Barnaby has also explicitly stated that Ms. Beagle is his only family. That’s it. And farm life can’t be a sociable way to grow up, not with all the chores he must have had and how rural he might have grown up. Barnaby jokes that Home is the “Big Apple”, which could just be a joke - but jokes often come from a place of truth, and Home might be the most populated area Barnaby has lived in. Who’s to say!

Either way, Barnaby was orphaned one way or another, and I don’t doubt that it weighs on him. Especially if his birth parents really did abandon him. That added to a possible life of loneliness… I wonder if he’s latched onto Wally emotionally, which would hit all the painful places if it turns out that my “Barnaby is more attached to Wally than Wally is to Barnaby” theory has merit. Abandonment issues could also strongly back the apparent walls he’s plastered over with circus tent fabric

Back to Barnaby & Wally: the fact that, at present, Barnaby and Wally seem to have the best disguises / strongest masks. That. looking at 14-14, i suspect that Barnaby is excellent at keeping his up, but as soon as Wally’s mask cracks, so does Barnaby’s.

And then there’s the side of their dynamic that we could look at - it seems to be a very multifaceted relationship. The way that Barnaby genuinely cares yet in the 00 Halloween audio Wally was left off to the side and Barnaby was just “checking on him” while socializing (then again, this could be part of Barnaby understanding Wally & respecting his space / Wally wanting a break from that socialization). Barnaby is patient with Wally and yet he seems to sometimes treat Wally as his sidekick / let him fade into the background and yet Barnaby kept checking in on Wally during the 14 bug audios (this last one I could tie into the abandonment issues theory).

Then there’s how Barnaby calls Wally kid & can tend to treat him like one despite both of them being in the same age group. The way that all of this could, in a way, relate to the infantilization of autistic people (no matter how well-meaning or unintentional) & internalized ableism.

Note: Riv pointed out that Barnaby does seem to be doing the best with what he has, and that this can connect to the Johari Window’s blind spot / unknown.

I do agree with this wholeheartedly! And I have to mention that - and making a Very educated guess here - the interactions we’ve seen take place in the very late 60s / very early 70s, so Barnaby’s behavior towards Wally is actually pretty fucking stellar given the time period. We can’t expect him to be perfect or do everything / say everything right. That would be boring I think! And one thing I deeply appreciate about the Neighbors & their dynamics is that they feel like real layered people, not cardboard cutouts being perfect caricatures of what people are “supposed” to be like.

Riv also presented this:

We likely are going to reach a point where Wally asks Barnaby something that he can’t / doesn’t want to / won’t answer. And like.. Ok. This is a slight tangent but I swear it’s related! When I first discovered WH and learned the Wally basics, I wondered two things.

Are we going to watch Wally “discover” new emotions? Because he certainly has them. Clown has said that Wally only ever feels happy, and a lot of people took that to mean that Wally can’t feel anything else. I don’t think we should take that answer at face value, because. I mean. Look at the project & creator we’re talking about. Layers, guys. Indirect direct answers. I think that Clown meant that Wally only ever feels happy in the Neighborhood because he has no reason to feel any negative emotion. Everything is as it should be. Until it isn’t - and I think that’s where he’s going to have to struggle with new emotions as he encounters them through new situations/events unfolding as the “story” starts to deteriorate. We’ve actually seen this a little bit - in Wally’s record audios (i believe the chronological second to last?), the way he says “Let Me In” so insistently. That’s definitely not a positive emotion being expressed.

How will the topic of death be handled - because it will be handled, it’s stated in the project warnings. I was wondering this even before I read the list, because I was presented with a blank slate puppet character and so went “oh fuck, this dude doesn’t know about death, does he?” Obviously I wanted to know how that would go. I want to know how it Will go!

How would Barnaby explain emotions that Wally doesn’t know how to convey? How would Barnaby explain death in a way that Wally would understand - given that Barnaby (& all the Neighbors sans Wally) knows what death is - and would Barnaby be willing to explain such a thing? I have a feeling we may find out.

And in a way, I suspect that if none of them know, Wally will find out himself and have to process it without help. But then again, how can something die if it was never really alive in the first place? Unless the death warning relates to human characters… I’m currently assuming it relates to both humans and puppets.

In conclusion: Barnaby has a carefully fabricated facade, he's doing the best with what he has but it likely won't be enough, and uh. shits fucked!

#AGH I HOPE IM PUTTING THESE POSTS TOGETHER CORRECTLY.#I HAVE TWO DAYS TO WRITE AND POST THEM ALL #but anyway another thing i was wondering in relation to barnaby & wally having an imbalanced relationship was #the possibility of:#howdy < barnaby < wally < home #as in the <[x] character is more important to the [y]< character than [y] is to [x]#because howdy does seem to like barnaby a whole hell of a lot but we don't know if barnaby feels so strongly back #idk. i feel like i might be seeing a little domino line being set up here. and im Nervous <3 #what happens if the first domino falls? who will it be? how hard will it fall.#who's to say if that has any merit i just wanted to mention it! its intriguing to me #(& to be clear since im aware of my laughingstock rep - im not talkin about shippy dominoes)#(i take off the shipping goggles for analysis. howdy can fully cherish barn as a Friend while still being [y]<)#homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #i feel like i have more in my brain but. im dealing with minor flu symptoms and im exhausted <3 #today was a Lot <3 #so i'll queue this for around 10 & hopefully I'll be awake & with the next post written for you guys!

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queer-reader-07 · 7 months

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queer characters are allowed to die in media. and it isn’t inherently A Problem or homophobic when they do.

i understand that it hurts seeing queer people die in shows and books and movies, especially if you’re queer and you saw yourself in those characters.

but the thing is, if you want better queer rep in media you have to be ok with queer characters being treated the same way cishet characters are treated. and that means letting them die sometimes.

Bury Your Gays is a problem, I’m not going to pretend like it’s not. but Bury Your Gays isn’t synonymous with every death of a queer character that happens. you’re allowed to be hurt and devastated by a character death, but i don’t think it’s fair to act like that character death is part of some wider issue just because that character is part of a minority group.

not every queer story is sunshine and rainbows with a happily ever after. some queer stories are violent, some are devastating, and people die in some of them. and that is OK.

if we act like queer people can’t die in media we’re contributing to the othering of our community. it’s saying “queer people are this special group you can’t ever do a bad thing to in media because if you do it’s homophobic.” which is not a true statement.

we can’t act like every death of a queer character is homophobic or has capital I Implications about the writer’s opinions on queer people. if we keep pushing that specific narrative queer stories are going to be stifled. writers need to be able to tell the stories they want, even if that includes a queer person dying. and acting like they can’t is doing more harm than good.

you can dislike a writer’s decision, you can stop watching a show because of that decision. that is OK. but you don’t get to go around saying the writer is homophobic because they did something you didn’t like to a character you loved.

#i’m open to discussion on this but if you’re gonna just tell me i’m wrong because i’m wrong with nothing else to say plz leave #i think the main idea here is that people are too quick to conflate ‘this personally upset me’ with ‘this is problematic’#which leads to an inaccurate view of how media works #something isn’t problematic just because you didn’t like the decision the writer made #cuz the thing is: it’s not about you #the writer didn’t write this show for you specifically #they wrote the story they wanted to tell and if you don’t like it that is OK #not every show or book is for everyone #and something isn’t bad just because you didn’t like it #you don’t have to moralize your dislike of something #it’s OK to say ‘i don’t like this cuz this decision upset me’ or ‘the vibes were off’#that’s fine. you don’t have to justify it with some moral reasoning. you’re allow to dislike something just because #and when you do make a point to moralize your dislikes you inevitably fall into the trap of unfairly depicting something as inherently bad #ofmd isn’t inherently bad because you disliked the s2 finale #good omens isn’t bad because you wished neil had kept them together #you don’t have to like everything about a show/book/etc to recognize that it has merit and could be enjoyed by other people #queer media #queer shows #queer representation #ofmd #good omens #meta #long post

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gatheringbones · 1 year

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still baffled by the idea of a safe stable committed relationship not providing interest or food for thought.

#what counts as interesting #what is so unimportant that it falls below the level that merits interest #why is c supposed to become less interesting the longer she goes without abusing me #at what point does the balance shift

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ineffablefool · 10 months

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The lil corner of the Good Omens fandom that I generally see is getting more and more into publicly declaring that That Theory I Dislike Is Bad And People Who Ascribe To It Should Feel Bad, and I don't know if it's really new, or if I was just lucky enough to generally be missed with that shit the last four years.

Different people's brains work differently, which means they will notice things, form interpretations, maybe come to extremely firm conclusions, all different from each others'. Different from mine, different from yours.

I get that some people think that they have the brain which produces the Objectively Superior theories (and/or which can easily determine which other people's theories are the Objectively Inferior ones). I just really missed the memo where Your Interpretation Is Not My Interpretation (And That's Okay) was dragged out back and fucking shot.

Anyway this blog is an "I may not agree with your theory but you may trust that I won't publicly heap scorn upon the very idea of having it" zone if anyone was wondering.

#negativity #discourse type stuff #apparently i can't turn off replies to a specific post? but i am Not Interested in discussing why that kind of behavior is okay actually #also Not Interested in hearing about how i'm overreacting #unless you are prepared to prove that you have personally catalogued everything that I have read/seen/etc on this topic #this is not about any one specific post just about the bizarrely judgemental zeitgeist #also not about any of the posts where someone is like 'huh i know people like this theory but i'm not sure here let me tell you why'#i've always seen posts like those and those are great because YTINMTATO remains intact #JUST. yeah. Not Interested in discussing this at all really #but i've seen some posts that made me feel bad for being so unthinking as to ever find merit in this or that theory #and i'm probably not the only one feeling bad?#so you can think x character is fake or y character is secretly running everything from behind the curtain or z object was drugged #(or none of these things at all!!)#and i 100% promise i am not scoffing at the foolishness of falling for such a completely unsupported idea #i PROMISE i am not going to be mean #because if i wanted to *reduce* the amount of kindness in the world then i wouldn't have created the fucking Soft Zone now would I

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medicinemane · 5 months

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One big mistake people make is deciding that because someone they don't like enjoys something, that mean the something is bad

Easy example from my own life, Max who I'm no longer friends with and just... there were elements of a decent person in there once, but I don't think so anymore... anyway, Max likes Infected Mushroom

So my dad and my Mr Dumbass of a friend decided that Infected Mushroom is a bad band and it's like...

Mr Dumbass, you've been to a concert of there's with me and Max and another person (didn't care for the way the venue did things), you like them or at least have liked them... I'm pretty sure you introduced them to Max

They didn't become a bad band magically because one idiot likes them

Like people just lose the ability to judge things on merit when there's a chance to shit on something that someone they don't like enjoys and... it mostly screws you over and makes you look like a fool, you know?

So try not to do that, try not to shit on something just cause someone you don't like likes it

#cause it would be hard for me to say specific people here; but I certainly see it happen #and it's a trap that even smart people fall into #also don't forget that maybe people you like actually enjoy whatever it is and you're being an asshole to them for no reason #like evaluate things based off their merits; that's all I'm arguing for #anyway; in other news Max enjoyed Infected Mushroom wrong #see... he hate anything with vocals (unless it was something like U2 that his mom played him when he was young)#he had this idea he was enlightened for not liking vocals because... well cause he was a snob and liked feeling smart #so a lot of their best tracks he couldn't stand and would skip #and like listen... they've got some good instrumental tracks for sure #but sorry something like Becoming Insane grabs me a hell of a lot more because it actually speaks to me #also like... voice is an instrument... and it's one I have access to #I honestly often find myself singing the chorus to Wish; in fact anytime 'the game' comes up; all it does is triggers me to sing that #'I play the game; the one that will bring me to my end; I'm waiting for the rain to wash who I am'#I'd sing the rest of it but I don't have it memorized other than stray lines like #... well I know it as being like #'I want to - to - to -... and to bring it all back; I want to - rewind - - - - - and enjoy the consequence'#so you see why I can sing either of the main verses and only have the chorus #but nah; Max is an idiot and enjoys them wrong so I don't really care about his opinion #doesn't make them a bad band dummies; one of you even likes them #don't be 5; don't just go opposite of what someone else likes to spite them

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earanie · 7 months

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#good news first: it's a sunny day! yay!#and it's also Friday!#and we've got a hearing this morning AND then we're going to another courthouse which is supposedly very pretty!#now the mid news: I'm gonna spend all day with *them*#which I am inordinately happy about #but also #now that I know they're ~spoken for~ this is only going to make it worse for me #like I don't look forward to deepening this crush at this point in my life #should I also add that I've barely slept?#like I was dead tired got home past 10 pm #and then couldn't fall asleep until 2 am #bc I kept thinking about it all #(and blasting music in my ears)#where is the bad news you ask?#here ya go #first of all I'm even more nauseated now that I've got this new piece of info #(which at least somehow has the merit of corroborating my theory that it's all psychological/stress/etc)#second of all I'm hyper mad at myself for crushing so hard on a near stranger #and I've got a whole different kind of stomach ache every time I think about yesterday #and how it came out that they've got a girlfriend #third of all I've got no idea what to wear today bc I feel like I've run out of outfits this week?

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whimsycore · 1 year

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I think that’s what I dislike the most abt tumblr is someone will be like “this popular thing is horrible and everyone who likes it is stupid please instead look into this incredibly more niche version of said thing that I like that is better because I’m better”The superiority complexes are rampant just say you like something else.

#shit is usually popular for a reason #like I don’t understand sports so I don’t make a blog dedicated to how CHEWPID it is #clearly there’s some merit #just because you like underground music doesn’t mean Ariana grande can’t sing and just because your fave #underground singer hasn’t been exposed yet doesn’t mean they aren’t also problematic like the popular singers #and it’s like all white people into witchcraft can Easily fall down the alt right pipeline. just like white Christian’s and white anime nerd #like the problem is whiteness itself not any of your hobbies you can deintellectualize #how this site is like avidly against tiktok is how eveyone was avidly against tumblr #you become the boomers you claim to hate #i truly hate this this is why I hate sharing my interests with people from this site everyone’s amazingly judgemental of everything except #the bullshit they force on you and don’t get me started on how y’all be treating people

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matchademi · 8 months

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Falls:*flopping onto a bunk in the corrie guard hq* good night....

Merit:it's the morning kid

Falls:GOOD NIGHT *throws a pillow *

#this feels like me rn #clone medic falls #corrie guard merit #corrie guard oc #clone medic oc #clone trooper oc #star wars #the clone wars

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snakeassassins · 2 years

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man better call saul really was like "jimmy stopped running and let himself be punished for his sins" and then the sins in question were like

bad thing that happened on accident

maladaptive coping mechanism

thing he might have been murdered for not doing

thing he definitely would have been murdered for not doing

another maladaptive coping mechanism to get over the whole almost getting murdered thing

okay this one was a crime but it only affected rich people so who cares

helping his clients (even when he didn't really want to) because that's his job

not even a sin or anything he's just annoying

being a silly little guy

like yeah this sure does merit a life in prison apparently

#oh walter white is so amazing he's like me fr #gfjkdklfgjh I didn't hate the finale but like the more I think about it the more I just don't agree with it?#insofar as like. I think the writers got so caught up in wanting people to not be like #that they screwed jimmy over more than it made sense to #any comparisons you make to these two characters and how they handle dealing with their proverbial sins is gonna fall short #by simple merit of the fact that jimmy mcgill never killed a bunch of people and then teamed up with neonazis #he WAS a victim fdkldsjhfdlksd #better call saul

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appleebees · 1 year

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nothing like watching a thing you love get adapted into a thing you like much less. not to be a crusty old man about it but you whipersnappers just don't get it...

#this is mostly about trigun and star trek lmfao #the trick is to separate them in your brain #like as completely separate entities #bc otherwise you will constantly be comparing them and the new one can't stand on its own merit #or fall for the lack thereof lol #but then the evil old man part of me is like everyone thinks the new thing is so good.... they just don't know.... LMAO

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dexaroth · 1 year

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been having this bizarre relationship with art lately. i feel.. numb to it. it's surprising in a way bc now everytime i see something i know by gut feeling that i like i think 'huh. a tertiary palette. flat angle. somewhat dynamic pose. the idea is there. its really that simple? to make something good? just some lines and a situation?' and stuff along these lines. like looking at a painting and wondering why blotches of paint arranged in a certain manner somehow made me feel something.

like ill look at an absolutely stunning drawing i love so much and i'll be able to theorize to a good extent the techniques used to make it look that good and it kind of. sucks the magic out of it? its like the drawing dies to me. it becomes.. Just A Thing. its a set of gestures and strokes now. i lose part of the thought process of trying to find meaning on something and by extent the meaning of the drawing itself also vanishes with it

its something ive been experiencing with other ppls art for like what. a month, maybe more? but its also been affecting my own bc now i cant even bring myself to like anything that i do, let alone start a drawing. theyre not drawings anymore theyre 'just a dude sitting in an emo pose'. its like i looked too deep into the abyss and the abyss sucked my soul out of me in return and i came back horribly wrong from the whole experience

i guess it started with fantasazing about making a game and going Well, every game needs a story! and then Well. you need a Good story, with conflicts n such! and i looked back at the stories of games and it kind of dawned on me that stories are just a bunch of information bunched together that overlaps. its a bunch of situations. i dont have any good examples but my jerboa avatar reminded me of ratatouille so like. ratatouille.. its just rat has poor family. chef has shit job. they cross paths. both have their needs. then other characters come along and contribute their part to it. then the rest of the movie happens (its been years since i watched it sorry lol) and thats the part that gets me.. these bunches of. situations. were entertaining to watch and engaging. How. what makes something interesting? what makes something be more creative? its just *plot A* interacting with *plot B*! i could overlap a bunch of settings myself but that doesnt mean it'd make a good story. somehow. it seems so simple...

#i think the 2 decades worth of brain rot and chronic depressing and chronic whatever hjave you are finally getting me #i feel like when i learned santa wasnt real. my perspectives my beliefs my hopes all shattered in a night #this is probably the worst relationship ive had with art of my life yet. it literally died to me i cant find awnsers or meaning in anything #im literally crying right now what the fuck is wrong with me how did i get to this point. how did i fall so deep down the well #im still forcing myself to finish refs and webpages but the moment i finish a refsheet i get that satisfaction of having finished it and>#>immediately going 'this is shit. you can do better. you tethered yourself to this style thats simpler and by extent worse'#and i reply to myself thats bullshit! i love 'simple' art as much as i love detailed art! they each have merits!#and i try to figure out those merits.. i look too deep.. the meaning vanishes and im left in the dust alone trying to piece things together #i feel so numb towards everything. the crying of now is just a trigger response bc i truly dont feel anything about this topic #i dont know what to do. im not angry im not sad. im.. perplexed. frustrated to the point of learned helplessness #im not even in a bad spot irl right now. it could have been worse but now is not bad enough to justify this huge shift #dex doomer arc..#dextxt

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earthtooz · 4 months

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cw: arranged marriage, fluff, neglect at the beginning, ratio falling hard, pining, ratio being jealous of aventurine, unedited bc i wrote this with my heart not my brain

my brain has been thinking about an arranged marriage fic with dr. ratio...

he isn't kind to you at first, less than happy to share a life with a mere acquaintance. he's heard about you before in passing, noting your achievements with a grain of salt because nothing about you particularly mattered to him, irrelevant against the mass of scrolls and books he needs to read.

you don't really disturb his normal routine too much. you move in to his estate with a fair share of your belongings, but none of them crowd his house too much. you have your own room, pristine guest room unearthed by your artistic touch.

aside from dinners, you don't get to see each other too much. he starts his mornings early, getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise and start his day with a hearty meal. you wake up later, partaking in a slow morning, and if you glanced out the window, you might be able to see your husband running laps around the expanse of his gardens.

you admire his dedication and routine, it's fascinating to live beside a genius. everyday, the chest table that sits in the living room changes, the black and white pieces never remaining where you last recalled. the size of his blackboard is impressive, and yet too small to fit all of the formulas his brain remembers, hands effortlessly dancing along the surface to scratch number after number.

a frequent order of his estate is chalk. a new pile is delivered every three days, and he goes through them without fail every time.

during dinner, he tries to spare some conversation with you. you don't tell him too much about your day, not wanting to bore him with your menial chores. he's only half-listening either way, so you'll feign understanding about his work when he explains what he's up to.

ratio is not an attentive husband, but he doesn't mistreat you, either. he allows you to spend his assets without too much care, doesn't police your everyday tasks, and also doesn't bat an eye at other men or women. his pursuit of intelligence is important, and your wellbeing would not come in between that.

your monotonous, distant routine changes one autumn dusk. you're perched in the front yard with an easel set up before you, the sky in front of you now a blend of pink-purple hues. he returns home earlier than you expected, carriage stopping at the front of his estate, and he witnesses you in your tranquil state.

the paint strokes on the canvas before you are skilled, and show years of dedication to the craft. you're so invested in the piece before you, that you don't even hear him approaching until he calls your name.

"the night turns colder with each minute. shouldn't you come inside before you fall ill?" the scholar greets, and you're snapped out of your creative reverie, looking over at him.

"oh, i had not realised. let me clean up here, first." you take your canvas off the easel, but to your surprise, your spouse kneels down to organise your oil paints back into their box.

"make haste, then," he urges.

during dinner, he can't help but be curious over your hobby, the stubborn splotches of paint clinging to your hands visible to him. that night, you engage in uninterrupted conversation, and discover that he's an artist himself- a sculptor. it calms him, and all the statues reside in a removed room, adjacent to his study.

despite your years of matrimony, you had never once dared enter his study, but the design is so fittingly him. it is organised (well, as organised a genius can be), with shelves and shelves filled with books, discarded scrolls lay around the room, but even then, his taste for greco-roman aesthetics are seen. roman dorics act like stands for little plants, and his many certificates are displayed, along with other achievements.

(his study is overwhelmingly filled with them. though you knew of the merit of the man you were arranged to be married to, you had never known just how expansive the list is. perhaps, that only made him more intimidating to you, standing beside a genius does not feel so light to say anymore.)

he shows you his sculptures, and though many of them are... self portraits... the likeness is disgustingly accurate. it was as if he had casted himself in plaster and displayed it proudly. you wonder how long he must have stared in the mirror to perfect their appearance.

but, there are also various other formidable statues. some of people you recognise. you compliment his skill and don't get to see the blush that spreads along his cheeks.

it seems that you've chipped a way into his heart, because between brushstrokes and chiselled marble, he falls in love with you.

ratio knows he didn't start off being the best husband, but he tries to now, and begins by being present. asks you to dine together where possible, listens when you're talking about your day, and the two of you can be seen venturing downtown together; an unbelievable sight for those who believed that ratio was romantically inept.

perhaps, an even more unbelievable sight, was the soft smile on his face that glanced at you very adoringly, and how you remained unaware of his affections.

and, maybe a jealous veritas ratio is just as unbelievable.

he is practically glaring daggers at the side of a certain blond's head. ratio has never been fond of the scheming businessman, aventurine, and is even less so of the fact that you seem so close to him, more than you are with your own husband. you're speaking with him like how one would with old friends, a peaceful visit to the markets turned sour by his presence.

when you finally, finally, finally, bid farewell to aventurine, who gave ratio a look that signified he was up to no good, your husband held your hand in his gloved one with an unforgiving grip. his mood is dampened for the remainder of the day, and is only made better when you enquire about his sudden glumness, visiting his office to see if he was alright.

you leave him with a kiss on the crown of his head, and a whisper of 'goodnight', before retreating to your chambers, and the only thought that circulates in his head for the rest of the night is you, and how he's going to sweep you off your feet.

#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ earf's ideas that i'll never write #earthtooz: honkai star rail #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff #dr. ratio x reader

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mishkakagehishka · 1 year

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okay idk if u were the one who posted the uti post but thanks to that post ive been drinking water more frequently god bless - 👢

I did post it and !! I'm glad it helped you out. It can be annoying to keep hearing "drink water drink water" but it's so easy to fuck your body up without even trying. Drink water, piss often, etc etc.

And wear socks. Summer is coming, idk about you guys, but the babe aren't kidding when they say the cold can fuck your bladder up, too. Sitting on cold surfaces and walking on cold tiles included. Beware the air conditioner.

#idk how to additionally explain it #if your feet are cold wrap them up. try not to sit directly on cold surfaces.#we all make fun of the grannies for it but they're RIGHT #sometimes the old wives' tales have their merits #will your uterus fall out? no. but you can get a UTI so easily if you have a shorter urinary tract. even from the cold.#fucked up but true. take care of yourselves and don't put off going to the bathroom #which sounds like such an obvious thing but. i know what it's like. you have something you're hyperfocused on ''just finish this and then #i'll go'' NO. NOOOOOO. IF YOU KNOW THERE'S A CHANCE YOU'LL GET HYPERFOCUSED SET AN ALARM #it doesn't help me always but oftentimes just seeing ''GO PISS GIRL'' on my ringing vibrating phone #manages to interrupt my work enough that i might as well.#asks

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but-how-do-you-drive · 1 year

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you ever sit and cry because you realize that someone who told you they loved you made you feel like you were Too Much constantly and somehow you blamed it on yourself for literally just showing you loved them and cared about them

#sometimes i look back and wonder who that girl was #i just want to shake her shoulders and say FIND SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES YOUR LOVE #and doesn't push it aside as if it's inconvenient or bothersome #honestly i feel like i live in fear of being too much in many ways #like i really overthink how much i'll text someone because that was essentially why A broke up with me - i texted/called him too much #MY RELATIONSHIP WAS FALLING APART OF COURSE I WOULD TEXT AND CALL YOU MANY TIMES #HOW DOES THE GRAVITY OF THAT SITUATION NOT MERIT ME TRYING TO REACH YOU IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY #i was losing my mind - panicking and weeping and feeling sick to my stomach - and you pushed me away #and that's on you #you betrayed me and our relationship and our love and everything we promised #i would never treat someone the way you treated me #and after you said you loved me #and got everything you wanted out of me #you dropped me as if nothing had ever happened #a

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yanderenightmare · 12 days

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Gojo Satoru

TW: implied noncon, desperate starved reader, God!Gojo

gn reader

based on this by @hawnks

He's worshipped, but worship alone doesn’t make those who pray by his shrine his belongings.

Even pets run away when they don't like the food.

He could take lives, which suppose some of his fellow gods might view as ownership, but right when he ran out of places to wash the blood off his hands, he’d sooner found it to be an empty pastime bearing no merit.

After all, taking lives doesn't mean they belong to you—it just means they’re dead.

He'd come to realize that the power to take is a far cry from the prospect of actually owning something—something he can truly call his. He could level a forest and everything in it, crush mountains to deserts, drink the entire ocean dry—but it wouldn’t make any of it his.

It leaves him feeling stingy when yet another measly human comes before him—on your knees with your forehead bowed in the dirt, skinny hands shaking while laid flat out before you, cracked lips crying his name.

With his chin propped in his palm, he yawns while listening to you, and with jaded eyes, he nearly dismisses you altogether. But there’d been a question he’d been mulling over lately—one that had found its way to the tip of his tongue.

“What do I get in return?”

You’re only asking for very little—one of the humbler humans who still bother praying to him. You might see it as greedy of him to ask you for something in return—a poor soul with nothing but your sorry name. But what you don’t understand is that you and he are the exact same.

Dirt poor.

In many ways, he has it a lot worse. You could die. He could not. Infinity would pan on forever and drag him with it as if with a ball and chain—and he’d remain destitute and alone for the entirety of it all.

Which is why…

“You can have me, I guess…”

It sounded so sweet—like a vow.

You say it with such defeat, as though you’ve already accepted his rejection—as though you’re about to offer yourself to the forest next—as though you're worth nothing more than returning to soil again.

You don’t notice the new light in his eyes that threatens to swallow you whole, nor do you hear the growl in his gut like a beast awoken from a deep slumber—starved to death if he only could. His tongue swells with sweetness, it nearly runs over and spills down his chin.

Your offer hangs still in the air, poised and waiting for him to grab it, brighter than a star. It nearly frightens him—how much he wants it—how desperately he yearns for it. His fingertips buzz with thrill as he reaches out. He’s never held something like it before—soft and warm and flickering with something fleeting and precious. It almost feels wrong for him to hold it in his blood-soaked hands. Eyes all but blacked out as he looks down at it.

“Mine, you say?”

You feel it, too, but it’s not close to the same sense of elevation—how he reaches into your chest and scribbles his name on your soul. Each letter is heavier than the last and leaves you curling in on yourself in agony, screaming before you fall silent.

Panting once you look up, you clutch your chest, only to see his sneer gone, replaced by something worse—something haunting.

The regret is palpable. You pick yourself up and take to running away—but by then, it’s too late. You don’t make it more than two steps before something has you tugged right back—this time into his embrace.

“I accept your generous sacrifice, little human.”

His words weigh awfully heavy while you shudder in his lap. His skin is like marble—shimmery and cold as his hands wrap around you, holding you tightly as he puts his lips to your neck.

"I'll take precious care of you..."

You feared he’d bite, but the kisses that commence feel no less like a collar being fastened snug around your throat. As well as his promise—like being sentenced to spend eternity right there, hand-fed under that awful smile on his face.

♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

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