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[magic-shop-stories]

Can you make a Namjoon version of the pregnancy yoongi headcannon please?

💌 Reply:

Ahhh, thank you for this request! 🥹 Translating Yoongi’s blueprint into Namjoon’s universe was such a joy... and kinda healing to write tbh. If it’s too abstract, blame Joon... you know he’d turn parenthood into a TED Talk on existential botany. Hope this hits right for you, and that the brainrot is mutual (?) Let me know if you need tweaks! 💜 – c –

Kim Namjoon (RM) Pregnancy Headcanons x Reader

Warning: added a short mention of complication/ loss during pregnancy; brief mention of emotional vulnerability/complex feelings

🗿 How He Finds Out

you take the test alone first

needing quiet to process the enormity

the second line appears, you pace the bedroom

fingers brushing over his poetry books, his half-finished clay vase on the shelf...

Namjoon knocks softly after 15 minutes

"Love? You okay? You missed the Monstera’s watering time."

tries to jiggle the stuck door handle (his DIY fix last week)

fumbles with a paperclip

muttering

"Why do I always overtighten things…"

finally nudges the door open

finds you holding the test against your chest

glasses slide down his nose

he freezes

first words whispered like a haiku

"Are we... growing a universe?"

voice tender/ steady

=the way he reads letters at fan events

kneels carefully

avoiding the creaky floorboard

cradles your wrists

test between your joined hands

presses his lips to your temple

"However this goes... we’ll learn from it together."

🌿 Initial Reaction

Panic

spends the first night cross-referencing parenting books with peer-reviewed studies

highlighter in hand

scribbling notes in the margins of "The Hidden Life of Trees"

at 2 a.m. muttering about "epigenetic influences" and "sustainable bamboo diapers"

"Wait, prenatal sound exposure... should we play Debussy or traditional gugak?"

knocks over his bonsai while pacing

frets about "fetal stress responses"

creates a shared Google Drive titled "Project Sprout" before sunrise

Hidden Excitement

find him sketching a willow tree in his journal the next morning

branch roots morphing into tiny hands in the margins

you peek?

he slams it shut, cheeks pink

"Just... analyzing Fibonacci sequences in lotus pods."

later catches himself buying a single onesie

"For... a friend’s cousin!"

pattern: Van Gogh’s Starry Night with embroidered honeybees

you find the receipt tucked in his Walden pocket edition

"Fine. It’s… symbolic. Growth, y’know? Like haewon."

🌱 Worries

Fatherhood Fears

confesses at 2 a.m. over barley tea

steam curling like his restless thoughts

voice quiet

quoting Rilke: 

“Sometimes a man stands up during supper…”

trails off

fingers tracing the rim of his chipped moon-phase mug

“What if I… overwater them? Like my first bonsai.”

you find his journal open to a sketch of a tree split down the middle

one side labeled “Logic/Structure”

the other “Love/Chaos”

underlined in his blocky handwriting: 

“Can I be both roots and sunlight?”

finds him rereading Braiding Sweetgrass at dawn

circled passage:

“Parenting is an act of reciprocity with the future.”

Idol Life Stress

creates a Venn diagram titled “Cosmic Balance” during a flight

= Group Promotions | Prenatal Yoga | UNESCO Speech Drafts

mutters to his manager

“Can we route the Europe tour through Denmark?

Their parental leave policies could optimize…”

stares too long at ultrasound photos during Soundcheck

Jin catches him whispering to the grainy image

“Appa’s figuring it out. Like… how galaxies parent stars.”

forgets lyrics to Moonchild mid-concert

= first time ever

writes emails about “hologram tech for bedtime stories”

🌾 What He Does (Early Days)

Spoiling You

builds a custom "nest" in the sunniest corner of the house (and in his studio if you hang there)

hand-knotted hammock

handpicked field guides

"For our future botanist"

stocks the pantry with your cravings

hides your newfound aversions behind his kombucha SCOBY jars

leaves Post-its on the bathroom mirror:

"Remember: You’re already somebody’s ecosystem."

Overprepared

creates a bullet journal titled "Project Sprout: Phase One"

pages include: pressed gingko leaf tabs marking OB-GYN FAQs

also a graph comparing prenatal yoga studios

doodles of the baby

syncs a shared calendar called "Root Systems"

includes alerts like: ”3 PM: Hydrate (Y/N) + Water Ferns”*, ”7 PM: Debate Middle Names - Plato vs. Haneul?”, ”9:30 PM: Mandatory ‘The Martian’ Rewatch (Stress Relief)”

Hidden Romanticism

catches him playing "uhgood" on a tiny danso flute to your belly

"Early auditory exposure to heritage is… scientifically valid."

secretly starts a lullaby playlist titled "For When the Universe Feels Heavy" 

= curated mix of BTS instrumentals, rain sounds, and Maya Angelou recitations

forges a crib mobile from recycled mic parts and Hanji paper

each star inscribed with lines from his unpublished poems/lyrics:

"You, who will outlive all my words / Forgive me if I borrow the moon to explain your fingers."

🌌 Telling BTS

waits until the 12-week mark

citing "cosmic alignment"

hosts a "philosophy night" dinner

under the guise of discussing "existential metaphors in post-modern art"

sets the table with pressed flowers from his hikes and a centerpiece of his half-sculpted clay "symbol of life" (it’s a lopsided orb)

hides ultrasound printouts

inside Rilke poetry books

passes them out as "thought-provoking reading material"

Jungkook squints at the grainy image tucked between "Letters to a Young Poet"

"Hyung, is this… ? I see a baby... holding a galaxy?"

clears his throat

adjusting his glasses like a professor

"Actually, we’re… collaborating on a new project."

plays the heartbeat recording layered over his "SoundCloud experiment" 

mix of bamboo flute harmonies and his whispered sijo poem:

"Even the moon was once small / cupped in the sky’s dark palms..."

Reactions:

Jin

spills his makgeolli

laughing through half-tears

"Kim Namjoon, father?! Aigoo, the diapers’ll have PhDs!"

instantly Googles "baby-safe kimchi recipes"

"Important they respect fermentation science early."

Jungkook

silent for three full seconds

then leaps up, shaking Namjoon’s shoulders

"HYUNG. I’LL TEACH THEM HOW TO RIDE BIKES AND WRITE SONNETS!"

pauses, panicked

"Wait..which comes first?!"

Yoongi

nods slowly

eyes glinting

"Took you long enough."

slides a USB across the table

labeled "MixTape: Lullabies for Future Anarchists"

he already knew somehow, but kept silent

later, texts Namjoon

"You’ll suck less than you think."

Jimin

cradles your face

tearfully stern

"Uncle privileges include weekly dance lessons. Prenatal starts now."

demonstrates a "womb-friendly" body roll to Butter

Taehyung

holds the ultrasound to the lamplight

absolutely awed

"It’s abstract… like a Banksy!"

starts crooning Winter Bear to your belly

Hobi

immediately FaceTimes his mom for "emergency parenting tips" (as if it's his baby)

restructures your living room into a "positive vibes zone" with feng shui precision

jokes, lots of jokes

"First word has to be ‘J-Hooooope!’ Right? Right?"

Namjoon

tries to quote Kierkegaard on "the leap of faith"

voice cracks

collapses into silent tears when Jin speaks:

"Our leader’s leading a new squad."

later whispers to your belly

"You’ll have seven hearts before you even breathe."

Bonus

Group Chat Name: "The Epigenetics Committee"

Jin changes it to "Tiny Supreme Leader Support Squad"

Yoongi’s Gift

onesie printed with "I Survived Daechwita and All I Got Was This Sleep Deprivation"

Namjoon’s Realization

finds Jungkook asleep on your couch

he's asking you questions about pregnancy

Najoon cries again

posts on Weverse: "Love is a circular equation."

🌳 Telling His Family

visits Ilsan with a hand-painted onesie reading “Future Curator of Nature”

stuffed into a tote bag alongside his childhood pressed-flower collection

his sister answers the door

eyes darting to your bump

“Oppa. You didn’t… Oh my god.”

crushes you both in a hug

then sprints inside yelling (irony)

“Eomma! Appa! Namjoon finally did something cool!”

His Mom

emerges with a wooden spoon

freezes mid-scold about his “city-dust aura”

clasps her hands over her mouth

“Aigoo, my little mundungi…”

ushers you to the ondol floor

already reheating miyeok-guk

“You’re glowing! But Joon-ah...” 

pokes his bicep

“Are you meditating enough? Stress wrinkles age the baby’s aura.”

His Dad

nods stoically over tea

adjusts his reading glasses to study the ultrasound

clears his throat

presses a worn copy of Walden into Namjoon’s hands

margins filled with his own fatherly notes from ’93/94:

“Page 72: Joon cried here. Ask why.”

His Sister

drags you to his childhood bedroom

walls still plastered with dinosaur charts

“Here’s where he cried because T-rexes couldn’t hug properly.”

he was four

slides you a secret USB

“Namjoon’s 2008 Poetry... So Emo It’s Art, also blackmail material for when he’s being too philosopher-dad.”

Hidden Detail

in his old desk, finds a 3rd-grade “Nature Journal”

scribbled theories on “Why Rainbows Belong to Snails”

tucked between pages: a cicada shell labeled “First Heartbreak”

slips it into his bag

later placing it in the nursery

“Proof even confusion can molt into something beautiful.”

The Drive Home

his mom chases the car with a crate of homegrown ssuk and perilla leaves

“Boil the roots! It’ll make the baby’s cry less!”

sister texts: [Attachment: Namjoon age 7, sobbing into a melted ice cream]

🌿 Daily Life

Routine & Rituals

6:03 AM

wakes before dawn to simmer doenjang-jjigae with organic soybeans and kale (he's really trying, and it's not ending in a catastrophe)

leaves notes in calligraphy

“Nourishment is resistance — eat or I’ll recite Hegelian dialectics at you.”

adds doodles of scowling Brussels sprouts and a tiny Plato holding a fork

Post-Lunch Meditation

guides you through “forest bath” visualizations in your living room jungle

“Imagine your lungs as maple seeds… no, gently, you menace.”

his palms are warm and steady

pressing into your shoulders

“The iliac crest isn’t a metaphor, but today? Let’s pretend it is.”

Idol-Life Adjustments

converts his studio bookshelf into a “Zen Den”

matcha packets, lavender sachets, vintage Newton’s cradle for “stress diffusion”

texts PDogg:

“Postpone the feature... I’m optimizing circadian rhythms for two.”

secretly puts a prenatal Pilates ball in his studio

Chores

Laundry Wars

debates Jungkook over eco-detergent pH levels in the group chat

“Lavender is a neurotoxin to fetuses! Cite: Environmental Health Perspectives, 2019!”

Jungkook retaliates

“Hyung, your armpits are the real neurotoxin.”

(tho forget abpout this, I read about Dysfunction of the ABCCII gene, means asian sweat doesn't smell - god, I wish)

Culinary Experiments

attempts kimchi-jjigae

burns the first batch

blames “overzealous thermodynamic exchange”

his mom texts you her recipe with a note to Joon

“Stop intellectualizing the soup.”

Idol Life Impact

skips award show after-parties to chart the moon phases on your belly

writes lullabies sampling Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” over Moonchild instrumentals

practices babywearing with a handwoven hemp sling

“Ergonomic and a statement against fast fashion.”

Quiet Moments

4:33 AM Playlist Crafting

curates “Symbiosis: A Prelude” 

= blend of bird migration recordings

RM’s trivia: love ad-libs + Yoongi’s Seesaw humming

hidden track: a poem he whispers to your belly nightly

“You are the first universe that ever knew me from the inside.”

Voice Memos

records The Alchemist chapters in English and Korean

apologizes to the bump after mispronouncing

���Forgive me... Appa’s still learning how to hold multiple worlds at once.”

Hidden Clumsiness

knocks over your Himalayan salt lamp (again)

while demonstrating “kangaroo care”

uses the debris to create a mosaic titled “Fragmented Enlightenment”

you find it later in the nursery

labeled “Lesson One: Beauty in Imperfection”

🌏 Public Announcement

Lead-Up

Media Lockdown

hires an eco-conscious cybersecurity firm to "reforest your digital footprint"

code name: "Project Photosynthesis" 

after Taehyung’s slip: "They’re our little sapling!"

convinces Big Hit to issue a statement about "protecting nascent ecosystems"

ARMY thinks it’s climate activism

ARMY Hints

wears a hand-carved gat (traditional hat) during a live

etched with "세상에서 가장 작은 별" (The World’s Tiniest Star)

ARMY deciphers it as a reference to his lyrics

trends #TinyConstellation

he “accidentally” leaves his journal open during a live

revealing a sketch of a tree root cradling a star

Reveal

three months postpartum

posts a watercolor painting on Weverse

his hand holding a seedling

roots entwined with his veins

caption: 

"ARMY, you taught me that growth is a dialogue between light and shadow. Now, I’ve been entrusted with a new dialect; the first breath of a forest I’ll never fully understand. Walk softly with us as we learn to whisper."

attaches a voice memo

= rain sounds, his spoken-word poem

"Dear Meteors Who Choose to Root"

ends with the baby’s coo harmonizing with a nightingale recording (Ilsan, 4:33 AM)

Aftermath

ARMY Reactions

trends #RootedInRM for 94 hours

ARMY plants 814,000 trees globally via "Kim Namjoon Forest Initiative"

donates $1.2M to UNESCO literacy programs "for futures untranslated"

Paparazzi Countermeasures

collaborates with a law firm to draft South Korea’s first "Right to Grow" digital privacy act

releases an anonymous ambient track

"Lens Crack Symphony" 

= field recordings of shuttering cameras dissolving into wind chimes

hosts a guerilla art exhibit

= blurred baby photos pixelated into Van Gogh’s Starry Night

titled "The Distance Between Love and Light"

Hidden Details

Journal Leak

later reveals the seedling painting used persimmon dye from his mom’s garden

Voice Memo Easter Egg

the nightingale recording is from his childhood Ilsan backyard

Law Impact

tabloid stalker photos drop 92%

paparazzi begin calling him "The Unphotographable"

🌱 When You Panic

Trigger

overhears a podcast debating "Nature vs. Nurture in Epigenetic Trauma" while sculpting clay in his studio

phrase like "generational echoes" lodges in his ribs like a splinter

clay cracks under his grip

shattering into jagged moons

Calm Facade, Storm Inside

finds you trembling after a nightmare

your hands clutching a parenting forum thread

cups your face

thumbs tracing the arc of your cheekbones like comet trails

voice steady but eyes galaxies-wide

"Even the oldest trees survived their first lightning strike. We’ll be the soil that grounds the burn."

Secret Meltdowns

sneaks to the balcony at 3 AM

recording a voice memo choked with static

"What if I… overcompensate? Love them too fiercely? Turn into Icarus’ sun?"

sends it to his therapist

texts you:

"Found this study on parental resilience . Want to co-author a rebuttal?"

Acts of Service

brews yuzu tea in his chipped moon-phase mug

one from your first museum date

"Emergency aesthetic intervention required."

dumps two baby socks on your lap

one printed with Kant’s Categorical Imperative

the other with "Ask Me About My Carbon Footprint".

"Which one says ‘I’m fiscally responsible but fun at parties’?"

Idol-Life Impact

skips a UN panel on sustainability

citing "an urgent planetary realignment."

spends the day building a "sensory sanctuary" 

hanging felt clouds, wind chimes tuned to Spring Day’s key

writes a 12-page letter to the baby instead of his keynote speech

"You’ll inherit a world I’ve criticized but still believe in. Forgive me for both."

Hidden Resilience

you find his studio desk littered with failed haiku

"My love is a net / Too many holes, too much sky / Catch nothing but light."

beside it, a single completed verse pinned under a geode

"You will know me / Not by the scars I hid / But the bridges I couldn’t stop building."

🌧️ If Something Goes Wrong (+ Loss)

Hospital Vigils

stands sentinel by your bed

reciting Mary Oliver poems to your IV drip

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious...” 

his voice fractures

bathes your wrists with rosewater from his mother’s garden

hands shaking

“In another universe, we’re still whole. Let’s… let’s borrow from there tonight.”

Guilt/Aftermath

spirals into annotating every parenting book with “Where did I fail?” in crimson ink

you find him at dawn

knee-deep in the backyard pond

he's planting lotus seeds “for unbloomed futures”

studio becomes a shrine of half-scribbled equations

Grief = (Regret x Time) ÷ Unsaid Words

“(Unsung Verse)”

composed at 4:33 AM on a detuned hotel piano during monsoon season

no lyrics

just the hum of rain against glass

single sustained G minor

files it under “Metamorphosis_Data”

encrypts it with a password even he forgets

Post Loss

cancels his Bottega collab/shoot

citing “a necessary erosion”

ARMY trends #StandWithRM

funding a forest reserve in Ilsan named “Seeds Grove.”

he visits

hangs a wind chime from a persimmon tree

“You would’ve loved the sound of rain here.”

Support System

Jin drags him to a pottery studio

slams clay onto a wheel

“Sculpt something that can’t be quantified.”

they sit until dawn

molding silent vases for flowers that never arrive

Jungkook leaves a bonsai sapling on your porch

“It’s okay if it wilts. We’ll grow it again.”

Namjoon keeps it alive

“See? We’re still learning.”

Yoongi mails a USB labeled “For When Words Are Too Loud” 

ambient tracks layered with Namjoon’s old laugh from 2014

Bonus

five years later, during his TED Talk on “The Ecology of Loss”

soft G minor chord seeps into his mic

his toddler "Haewon" toddles backstage

he freezes

“Apologies. My heart’s just… recalibrating its orbit.”

🌌 Gender Reveal

Reaction

ultrasound tech smiles

“Looks like a girl!”

Namjoon’s breath hitches

eyes pooling with constellations

“A daughter… She’ll rewrite every star.”

buys a sapling from the DMZ forest to plant in her name

“So she’ll always know where resilience grows.”

tech corrects

“Wait, no! ...it’s a boy!”

freezes

then grins like he’s solved the universe’s riddle

“A son? Then we’ll learn gravity anew.”

orders a hand-bound journal titled “Hypotheses on Joy” to fill with their future questions

Late-Night Promises

whispers to your belly while sketching the moon’s craters

“You’ll carve your own orbit. Be sculptor or storm. I’ll be your compass, never your cage.”

plays a mixtape of rainfall

“Rhythm isn’t in blood; it’s in the spaces between heartbeats.”

Hidden Rebellion

declines all gender-reveal sponsorships

donates the offers to a nonbinary youth arts fund

tweets a snippet of Audre Lorde’s “There is no hierarchy of oppression”

caption:

“Hierarchies are human-made. My child is a natural phenomenon.”

🌱 Labor & Delivery

Prep

packs a hospital bag weeks early

includes: hand-knit hemp blanket

worn copy of “The Prophet” for whispered readings

portable mini bonsai

“For biophilic stress reduction”

memorizes your birth plan like a thesis defense

color-coded tabs

debates delayed cord clamping using Harvard studies

defers when you snap mid-contraction

“Trust the forest to know its roots.”

During Labor

channels his lyrics count breaths

“Inhale… four… seven… exhale...”

fidgets in his pocket

reciting Rumi under his breath

when contractions peak, he presses his forehead to yours

voice cracking

“You’re the Big Bang happening again. Let it… let it supernova.”

white-knuckles the bedrail

snaps it twice 

First Hold

cuts the cord with tears in his eyes

hands steady but soul trembling

cradles the baby like a relic

awe-struck

speechless (for once)

“You… you’re the poem I could never finish.”

Jungkook finds him at dawn

sketching the baby’s hand in his journal

“Proof that softness can reshape calluses.”

Hidden Moments

Panic Peak

flees to the hospital garden

sobbing into his sleeves

returns with acorn seeds to plant in the baby’s name

BTS Support

Taehyung paints a watercolor of the birth chart stars

Jimin choreographs a “welcome dance” with hospital socks

Lockscreen Lore

photo of the baby

captioned “My First Co-Author”

🌍 Idol Life Challenges

Touring Adjustments

negotiates "modular tour schedules"

two-week blocks with carbon-neutral travel offsets

publishes a Weverse series: "Parenthood in 7 Languages" 

= from hotel lobbies, baby strapped to his chest in a hanbok-style sling

FaceTimes you whenever he isn't there

"Tell them Appa’s dismantling patriarchal systems and mastering bottle sterilization."

Backstage Innovations

designs a "Portable Ecosystem" bassinet

= soundproof, air-purified, with a mini-library of global folktales

staff catch him debating naptime schedules with his manager

"Melatonin cycles vs. timezone optimization… we need a third axis for emotional bandwidth."

producers receive track notes like:

"Bridge too jarring... Babys stress spiked during playback. Revise."

Privacy Protocols (after birth)

codename: "Project Metamorphosis" (BTS group chat) + "Symbiosis" (public filings)

threatens paparazzi with "a TED Talk on the ethics of voyeurism" instead of diss tracks

updates IG bio: "Curator of small wonders." 

archives old posts

replacing them with abstract clay sculptures titled "The Weight of New Gravity."

BTS Support System

Jin’s Uncle Duties

hosts Kimchi nights

teaches the baby to grip cabbage while lecturing on Kantian ethics

"Ethics are like fermentation... both require patience and good bacteria."

Hobi’s Playdates

creates "Microbeat Workshops"

tiny tambourines

sock-covered maracas

films a tutorial

"Dancing Through Sleep Deprivation: A 7-Step Guide to Joyful Survival."

Yoongi’s Stealth Care

slides a USB into Namjoon’s studio

"Parenting Lo-fi: 24/7 Lullaby Beats to Overthink To."

secretly buys noise-cancelling headphones sized for infants

"For when Bangtan’s chaos is too iconic."

Taehyung’s Art Therapy

paints the nursery ceiling like the Van Gogh Museum

replaces stars with ARMY bombs

"Aesthetic and culturally relevant. Teach them young."

Jungkook’s Training

leaves a mini "Future Golden Maknae" workout plan

"0-3 mos: Grip strength (finger holds) 4-6 mos: Core stability (tummy time to Dynamite BPM)"

Hidden Stress Tells

over-researches "infant sleep regression in multilingual households" at 3 AM (as if their was a serious coreelation)

wears mismatched socks during diaper crises

quotes Thoreau during meltdowns

"Simplify, simplify… but how, Henry?!

🌿 Bonus Headcanons

family dog in 3...2...1...

Nicknames/Nonsense

calls the baby “Haewon” (sun and garden) as a placeholder

“It’s just… phonetically efficient!”

secretly tests names via Scrabble tiles

arranging letters into constellations

when they cling to his leg during a Live, he dubs them

“For their relentless grip on my existential crises.”

Late Nights

falls asleep annotating “The Art of Parenting in a Climate Crisis” 

margin notes: 

“How to explain melting glaciers to a toddler? Start with snow cones.”

bookmarks tabs: “Raising Anti-Capitalist Kids in a Late-Stage World” and “Is My Guilt Biodegradable?”

First Studio Visit

lets them “remix” his track by banging a wooden spoon on his awards

samples the chaos into an interlude called “Symbiosis: Noise & Nuance.”

plays it during a UNICEF speech

“This is the sound of hope refusing to be tempo-locked.”

Hidden Sentimentality

writes their milestones in the margins of his Walden copy

”First steps: 10/7. Proof that wilderness walks are innate.”

teaches them to say “Annyeonghaseyo” to his bonsai collection

“Respect all roots, human or not.”

secretly saves their crayon scribbles as NFT art titled “Post-Human Abstract Expressionism.”

note [06/05/25] : he wouldn't, I was not aware of the environmental impact of NFT's when writing this. I have to thank the person asking me about this in this NFT REQUEST

[damn this took me soooo long, but can I borrow him? for a week? pls... bc my so called father is buying milk since 2002]

[adhdnursegoat]

Unauthorized Biography

Word count: 2.6K

Content Warning: fanfiction about fanfiction, riddler experiences his own fanfiction, dramatic readings of smut, fangirl terrorism, reader is unwell

Pairing: Edward Nigma X fem reader

Setting: Arkhamverse

Edward Nigma was a man who required 24/7, undivided, single-minded devotion.

Not affection. Not partnership. Devotion. The kind that demanded you rearrange your entire schedule, moral compass, and internal monologue around the gravitational pull of his ego. The kind of loyalty that bordered on spiritual. 

And you? You gave it freely. Willingly. Obsessively. Your admiration for him wasn’t subtle. It was a public service announcement. A one-woman private fan club with no shame and no filter. If he so much as quoted Fibonacci at breakfast, you clapped. If he ranted about subpar encryption algorithms over dinner, you swooned. You had once compared the cadence of his voice to an aria composed by artificial intelligence and rage. 

Lucky for you, he hadn’t kicked you out for it.

In fact, your absolute, shameless worship of him was probably the only reason he tolerated you at all. No—that wasn’t fair. He didn’t just tolerate you. You were useful. Amusing, even. A well-trained audience with the occasional flash of insight. A little mascot who threw yourself at his feet and begged for the privilege of watching him monologue about zero-knowledge proofs or his latest grudge against the GCPD and Batman and whoever poor bastard that crossed him. You doted. You applauded. You followed him around with bright eyes and a notebook. You were—forgive the crude term—a groupie. A fangirl. A living, breathing ego boost in sneakers.

You loved him. Not in some vague, innocent, fluttery-hearted way. No, you loved Edward Nigma the way a forest fire loves droughts. You adored his mind. His charisma. His cruelty. You memorized the lines of his face, tracked the rhythm of his speech, catalogued his temper tantrums like weather patterns. You found poetry in the way he cursed at his bots when they failed. You once described his smile as “visceral.” And meant it.

You were content—almost content—with knowing it would never be returned. You weren’t delusional. Not entirely. You understood who he was. The kind of man he was. What made him tick. The psych profiles were public domain by now—Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline, High-functioning sociopath. Obsessive-Compulsive Traits, God Complex, take your pick of the DSM-5. 

Love wasn’t in his code. You knew that. You accepted it. So you didn’t ask for affection. You didn’t need it. You just needed the privilege of being near him.

And he? Well. He let you stay. Because deep down, maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that liked being loved this loudly. 

Even if he’d rather die than admit it.

Of course, that never stopped you. Not really. Your love wasn’t the sort that shriveled without reciprocation. No, your affections were self-sustaining—thriving on scraps, on glances, on that rare moment when Edward let his guard down long enough to forget you were watching. Still, even your depraved little heart had limits. You could only bottle up so many fantasies before the pressure built, before your mind—bless it—needed an outlet.

So, naturally, you turned to the only coping mechanism you trusted: fanfiction.

Yes. Fanfiction.

Not just yours. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no… 

There was an entire underground fandom dedicated to Gotham’s infamous Rogues Gallery, an entire internet ecosystem of anonymity and madness. Forums, blogs, private Discord servers, locked taglists. Digital shrines built to the city’s most wanted. People who didn’t just fear the rogues—they loved them. Obsessively. Passionately. Erotically.

And you? Well, you fit right in.

You picked the best following, obviously.

Each rogue had their own little cult: Joker with his chaos-worshippers. Ivy and her eco-feminist simps. Two-Face and his yin-yang kink crowd. Scarecrow and his masochists. Even fucking Condiment King had a niche following—mostly ironic, you assumed. But The Riddler? The Riddler had an audience. A devoted one. Hundreds of writers, artists, and degenerates bleeding their admiration into every piece of horny prose they uploaded.

So yes, you indulged. You let yourself get pulled into the filth. You read late into the night, one hand buried between your thighs and the other scrolling. And if you happened to print out your favorites? Keep a few copies stashed for emergencies? Well, who was going to stop you?

He was your heart. Your gloriously brilliant, narcissistic, sociopathic, riddle-wielding megalomaniac of a man. You scrolled endlessly through his tag, heart pounding every time you found a fic that got the voice just right. Every time someone described his hands the way you imagined them—precise, elegant, cruel. You had favorites bookmarked. You had headcanons. You had opinions about his stamina. You knew exactly how you wanted him, and the internet—God bless America—gave you content.

...Yet.

Certainly not Edward.

He had no idea.

But then—you slipped up.

You weren’t paying attention. Which, ironically, was exactly the sort of thing that got you in trouble. Not just with him. With yourself. With the universe. But in your defense, this piece was so good—hot enough to short-circuit your brain. The kind of smut that made your thighs shift and your fingers twitch, your mouth parted just slightly as you reread the same paragraph for the third time, breath catching with every line...

“You’re really pushing it today,” he rasps, voice taut with suppressed fury. His empty hand catches your other wrist, keeping you close to his body. His thumbs rub little circles on your palms, but the look in his eyes is anything but soft. It’s a warning. “Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you?”

“Something hot, I hope.”

Edward’s eyes narrow. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” He walks you backward, step by step, deep into the bedroom, your low fairy lights luminating the pathway. “That smart mouth. Running away from me. Acting like a petulant child just to see how far you can push me.”

“Is it working?”

“Oh, it’s working.”

You were just reaching the clash—already squirming a little where you sat, lip caught between your teeth—when it was ripped away from you. Not emotionally. Not metaphorically. Physically. Yanked.

A startled whine burst out of you, unfiltered and immediate, something sharp and needy and too genuine to fake. You clutched at the air, blinking in disoriented horror as the page disappeared from your hands.

And then you heard him.

“What,” Edward drawled, dangerously calm, “could possibly be so important that it prevents you from listening when I’m talking to you?”

Your blood ran cold.

Your face ran hot.

Your body made a whiplash attempt to do both at once, because there he was—looming, frowning, one hand pinched around the paper you’d just been drooling over. It hung limply in his grasp, crinkled from your fingers, the print still fresh enough to read with ease if he so much as tilted his head.

Which he did.

Which he was doing now.

You were fucked. So fucked.

The page crackled softly as he adjusted his grip, fingers twitching with faint disdain. You weren’t sure if it was because of the content or the formatting—Edward had opinions about both. And yet… he still hadn’t looked at you. Still hadn’t handed it back. Still hadn’t burned it, ripped it, made a scene.

Edward Nigma, The Riddler, was reading it.

Your stomach dropped through the floor. “Edward,” you tried, voice too high, too quick, “that’s not—I mean, it’s just—"

His brows twitched. His eyes narrowed. His mouth moved—just slightly, silently—and you knew exactly what line he’d hit.

And then he read it. Aloud.

“‘You think you’re cute, don’t you?’” His tone was flat. Curious. Calculating.

Your soul detached from your body.

Edward blinked. Once. Then again. And then slowly, like he was solving a riddle carved into an ancient tomb, he tilted his head and looked at you. Something flickered behind his eyes. Confusion, sure. Offense? Probably. But also… amusement. Or horror. Maybe both. He was short-circuiting in real time.

“This is…” He flipped the page, scanning more. “This is me. This is fictional pornography of me. You’re reading… your own filth about me.”

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “I mean—not mine mine. I didn’t write it—”

“Illiteracy would be the least concerning factor here,” he muttered, eyes flicking down again, brow furrowing deeper. He was blushing now. You could see it. High on his cheeks, creeping toward the tips of his ears. His gaze darted, flicked across a line that made his nostrils flare and his lips part slightly, and oh no, he was still reading.

“Edward,” you croaked, reaching for the paper. “Please—”

But he stepped back. Out of reach. He held it high, a hostage negotiator clutching a ticking bomb.

“Do you have any idea what kind of psychological implications are buried in this text?” he asked, the voice of a man drowning in disbelief. “Do you have any idea what this says about your obsessive tendencies, your compulsive emotional projection, your frankly unrealistic expectations of my—” He paused. His mouth moved. You saw his pupils dilate. “Oh my God, there’s a line about my hands—”

That was your moment. You lunged. Snatched the page right from his distracted grasp.

“Hey—!”

You didn’t run. No. You stood your ground, smoothed the page, cleared your throat, and read it aloud.

“‘That smart mouth. Running away from me. Acting like a petulant child just to see how far you can push me—’”

“STOP READING THAT IN FRONT OF ME,” Edward barked, voice an octave too high, already retreating like a spooked alley cat.

“‘Oh, it’s working,’” you purred, walking after him with the slow, deliberate menace of someone with nothing to lose.

“You’re unwell!” he snapped, backpedaling toward the hallway.

“Thank you,” you chirped sweetly, flipping the page.

“Do not follow me with that—”

You did.

You absolutely did.

You pressed forward, drunk on the power of watching Gotham’s most arrogant man literally run from your voice.

“‘In one swift, fluid motion, he spins you around—’”

“Do not say the dresser line—”

“‘The way he shoves you into the dresser, the mirror rattling against the wall—’” you called after him, voice sing-song. “—is almost reckless, and it makes you giggle.’”

Edward made a sound—half choke, half high-pitched snarl—and whipped around with wide eyes. “That never happened.”

You flipped the page like a weapon, eyes sparkling. “No,” you purred, grinning, “but you’re thinking about it now.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. Color flared in his cheeks, high and hot. “You are—” His voice broke again, and he pointed at you, trembling slightly with indignation. “—deranged. You have a condition. You need to be sedated.”

“Oh, I’m just getting started,” you chirped, flipping to a fresh page. “Let’s see… ‘his grip tightens on your jaw, forcing you to meet his gaze—’”

“No.”

“‘Gone is the teasing smirk, replaced by raw, unfiltered need—’”

“STOP!”

“‘You know sometimes you can push him too far, but the sight of him like this, utterly consumed by desire—’”

“OH MY GOD.”

“You don’t remember this one?” You paused, feigning confusion. “You wanted me to call you Mister Nigma, sir—”

Edward’s entire soul left his body. You could see it. The exact moment he ascended into another realm. He staggered back like he’d been hit by a tranquilizer dart, one hand flailing for balance against the nearest wall.

“Where did you even get these?” he croaked.

A theatrical gasp was inhaled sharply through your lips, a hand to your chest. “Oh, Eddie…” You gave him a wicked, sympathetic smile. “Baby, you’ve got fans.”

He looked like he was about to vomit.

Then you stepped forward, shaking the next page out with reverence. “You want to hear the one with the wet thong line? It’s a favorite.”

“No!” he cried, a man on the edge. “You’re sick! You’re feral! You need a leash and—wait, don’t read another word—”

“‘And as if he can read your mind, Edward’s hand shifts between your legs—’”

Reaching a fever pitch, he let out an honest-to-god shriek and bolted back down the hall, muttering curses about arson and selective amnesia.

And you? You followed. Smiling. Reading.

Because if you were going to go to hell, you were dragging him with you.

You pursued him with the unrelenting focus of someone with absolutely no shame and nothing to lose. Edward was retreating fast now, his boots scuffing the concrete as he moved like the hallway might grow a trapdoor to swallow him if he just ran hard enough.

“You’re embarrassing yourself!” he called over his shoulder, breathless, one hand gesturing frantically while the other waved in an attempt to swat away your voice like a fly. “Do you want me to have a stroke?! Is that your plan?!”

“I’m just trying to support your legacy!” you beamed.

He disappeared around the corner.

You took a deep breath and turned the page.

“‘M-Mister Nigma…’ you gasp, your voice breathy and needy as you rock on his fingers—’”

“NOOOOOO!”

You rounded the bend just in time to see him stumble against the far wall, his hands braced like he was trying to physically hold his soul inside his body. His ears were crimson. His hair was a disaster. His breathing was not okay.

“‘Please, please, Mister Nigma, sir, please make me cum—’”

“SHUT! UP!” he howled, hands flying to his head. “I’M GOING TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE GOTHAM BAY.”

“Eddie,” you purred sweetly, slowing your pace now, savoring the kill. “You should be flattered. Not everyone gets literary tribute written to the exact way they touch cunt.”

“IT’S FICTION!” he screamed, voice cracking. “IT’S LITERARY DEFAMATION!”

You stopped a few feet away, grinning down at him where he had slumped dramatically against the wall like a man in mourning.

“Oh,” you cooed, folding the papers with exaggerated care, tucking the chaos under an arm. “If you think this is bad, wait until you see the fanart.”

His whole body shuddered. “There’s pictures?”

“Full color,” you cooed. “Shading and everything.”

Edward groaned—loud, full-body, forehead-to-wall groaned.

And you, victorious and still high off the chase, just patted his shoulder as he tried to reboot.

“Let me know if you want me to have the author write a sequel,” you added helpfully. “I was thinking next time, maybe in your workshop. Tools involved. Bit of a dom!Riddler callback…”

He wheezed like a dying cat as he slid to the floor. Your eyes followed, watching bemused, lips pursing to the side.

“...I’ll take that as a yes.”

AN: Shameless plug of my fic Candy referenced in this. :3

Did you like this? Check out the rest of the PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE RIDDLER series!

Tag List: @trulydisturbed @wolfsrahne28 @riddled-with-fear @illustratedartist @angelsmile28 @caesariawritesstuff @jezabellesunshine @wingedqueenlynx @jazanatorr

If you are interested in being on the tag list please let me know in the comments.

Thanks for the support!

[the-funny-kalli]

Ganz großer Brainrot.....

stellt euch mal vor der Tatort und die Tatort Kommissare würden in der Bravo thematisiert und abgedruckt werden !!!

Das wäre so genial 🤩

Alles wäre so aufgemacht wie damals in den 2000er und 2010er

Mit Armbändern und goddies dabei

Vielleicht so ein kleiner Spaten und eine Roland Figur zum in Koma schlagen.....

Aber auch spar Tipps von Roland

"wie komme ich schnell an ganz großes Geld damit ich das dann vebuddeln kann"

Schritt für Schritt Anleitung wie man einen giftigen frosch mit einer giftigen schlage zusammen hält (ja gut damals war es vielleicht eher so Anleitungen für Freundschaft Armbänder oder smoothies)

20 bayrische Worte und frasen auf hochdeutsch erklärt mit Batic und Leitmayr

Französich für Anfänger mit Esther Baumann

15 Vokabeln mit denen du sagen kannst

"ich bin Lesbisch und stehe auf meine Kollegin"

"beach body ist OUT"

"Sebastian body" ist IN"

10 Tipps von Sebastian Bootz wie bekommen ich in 14 Tagen einen hotten body

Styling Tipps von deinem Lieblings Kommissar

Adam

-> rattinger look in 3 Schritten

-> full denim geht immer

Leo

-> du hast Muskeln? zeig sie ! Ich zeig dir wie

-> wie du einen Schussweste so trägst das du maximal hot aussiehst

Boerne

-> die besten Anzüge aus Münster

Thiel

-> Fußball Fan Shirt richtig tragen und stylen

Pia

-> hol die alte Trainings jacke von Papa ausm schrank die wird iconic werden

Esther

-> Blusen sind das A und O

Aber auch so eine kleine comic Story

"Esther und Pia nehmen auf dem Weg Croissants zu kaufen noch eben einen Schmuggler Ring hoch"

"Die besten Food Trends mit Dr. K. F. Boerne" -> fibonacci lakritz Mischung

"drinks mischen mir Frank Thiel"

-> Korea (Rotwein mit Cola)

-> ganz simpel Bier....

fehlen darf natürlich nicht die doktor sommer Seite wo Henni Wenzel uns den menschlichen Körper erklärt und K. F. Boerne uns die wichtigkeit von safer sex näher bringt

Und dann immer diese Leser fragen....

A.S.

Ich bin in meinen besten Freund verliebt, doch weiß ich nicht ob er ganz so fühlt, deshalb bin ich 15 jahre verschwunden nachdem er für mich meinen Vater in Koma geschlagen hat. Soll ich jetzt mit ihm ein Eis essen und ihm alles erklären ? Ach warte das geht nicht er liegt maby auch im Koma ?! Was soll ich jetzt tun ?

Das wichtigste DIE POSTER

-> Die Umarmung am See -HdS

-> der Kuss -HdS

-> Sofa trage scene -KdE

-> Sebastian Bootz -Verblendung

-> cutes Bild von Boerne und Thiel

Wie findet ihr die Idee?

Ich würde die Bravo dann wieder kaufen ☺️

[somethingsomethingdgronpa]

More things about my fan-made Numberblocks!

The only times 34 doesn’t speak in haiku is when she’s ranting about the Fibonacci sequence. She never shuts up about it.

Speaking of 34, I like to imagine that she and 35 got figured out together.

91’s luck fluctuates between good and bad due to her factors. One moment, she wins the lottery and goes home with a bunch of penny coins, and the next… another giant piano somehow ends up in the sky and she’s in the way between it and the ground.

Sometimes good and bad luck happens at the same time. Once, 91 got really sick and only lost consciousness when 37 (the one medical professional) entered the room.

37 gets motion sickness. That’s why she prefers to run to scenes where someone needs help then use 37 rays and go at block-shattering speeds.

37 also keeps a journal listing all diseases and ailments she had encountered. She still doesn’t know how to cure hiccups, though, and has hit many cameras with a baseball bat trying.

78 does sometimes dust off her fellow Numberblocks. Don’t ask me why I decided this, but I just thought it was funny.

[ban-styles]

I’M BACK! with a little intel and a lot of projection.

who listens to what? let’s see

JIMMY

so, i didn’t have many idea for him believe it or not,

but i believe he honestly just listens to whatever’s on the radio or whatever anyone puts on.

he’s pretty indifferent about music, he normally blocks out background noise anyway

but for a bit more of an answer, i feel like he’d maybe listen to that classic rap stuff, like pac, snoop, icecube.. eminem

he probably only picked up eminem because he kept getting compared to the guy. poor jimjim

also, my gut tells me he dabbles in a bit of numetal, moreso the rap side of things; the biggest example i can name for you is limp bizkit, but he’d slither his way into the lesser known stuff, like primer 55, snot, saliva, 311.. so so

but mainly whatever’s popular at the time.

oh, jesus, how could i forget punk? this guy’s all over the dead kennedys, the stooges, sex pistols. yeah! maybe stand alone Iggy Pop too.

GARY

so.. my heart tells me he would listen to nightcore, just straight away.. the rise of nightcore, what a time

he’d be totally embarrassed about it though, but it makes him feel cool.

now for my more thought out ideas,

i /personally/ think he would be really into nine inch nails, more specifically pretty hate machine

i feel like the music swoons this kid’s adhd, anything that really plays into his ‘evil’ demeanour.. whatever fuels him to continue writing plans to take over the school

not to be stereotypical, but also kmfdm, as much as i hate to admit it.

again, very motivational music. i feel like he’d be into industrial rock/metal all together

he’d be one of those guys who insist on hating the mainstream too, but would occasionally find himself attached to the odd cheesy pop song you’d /also/ find on radio

PETEY

rubs my evil fly hands together

here’s where i start projecting

so, petey is EXTREMELY big into music, but it’s something he’s quite embarrassed about.

when you ask him about it? he gets shy and just says he listens to whatever, that he doesn’t really care.

but he likes to listen intellectual’ stuff.

first up: tool. this kid is crazy about tool. he can’t get enough of it.

owns and has listened to every album and ep of theirs, knows every song off by heart,, has researched the band’s many smart ways of producing the music; the fibonacci sequence in lateralus, the whole concept of parabol(a), everything about the newly released 10000 days.. he can’t leave rosetta stoned alone, so much to look into

again; absolutely insane about the band, and is itching to tell someone all about it, but his confidence really nails him down.

i also imagine he’s quite a big fan of MJK’s other works - puscifer and a perfect circle.

that being said, he’s also a big fan of thirteenth step by apc.

i feel like mjk’s feature on white pony’s “passenger” would have also swindled his interest in deftones. he started off by listening to white pony, but found himself to enjoy deftones’ self titled, too

to say he was a music nerd could be a descriptor. he definitely knows his way around the niche, and is always looking at more stuff to listen to. you’d find him pondering at the cd racks in your local shop

‘i like the album art’ he says, ‘that’s why im taking so long’.

i believe it’s what makes him feel a little better about being a complete loner. nobody to hang out with? tool will sing you to sleep, petey, you don’t need much else

tldr; if you start talkin music, he’ll speak your language. he knows the entire spectrum

for some extra, i believe he enjoys some old jazz too. duke ellington and john coltrane ..

and to finish, he dabbles in michael jackson if he needs a break from the evocative emotion tool brings

peacceeee….. my music loving self might come up with stuff for more of the students.

[drarryspecificrecs]

2023.11 ~ Top 5 longest fics posted on AO3

1. Seagulls Cause Storms, or the Essence of Chaos by @writandromance [M, 311k]

►Alternate universes never seem as real as our own. Draco felt no differently. He never questioned whether, in a far-off knot of space, he started hating Harry Potter at eleven and never stopped. All he knew was that here and now, it was unthinkable not to love him. /// This is Draco’s story from eleven to seventeen, should the flap of a butterfly’s wing change fate just enough to coax him down a different path.

2. Recursion by @tessacrowley [E, 132k]

►A process is recursive when it defines or contains itself; e.g., the Fibonacci sequence, which determines the next number as the sum of the previous two. But not all recursive processes are mathematical. Recursion can happen in a temporal context when, for instance, the powerful magical force that is true love drags you back in time so it can create itself, endangering the fate of the Wizarding World—not to mention the very fabric of space and time—along the way.

3. Christmas Courting by Kai_Embers [M, 87k]

►‘Christmas Courting’ or ‘Yuletide Courting’ is an ancient ritual that many Pure-blood wizards - and all members of the Sacred 28 - go through when choosing their intended. [...] Draco has no family, limited prospects and a legacy he needs to live up to, so on the 1st of December his name is published on the Christmas Courting list with Blaise backing him through the process as suiters vie for his hand. The Malfoy name is still worth something in the right circles.

4. Strand's Seven Stars by @shewhomustnotbenamed [E, 83k]

►Draco seeks out the help of a detective who is known for his discretion. Despite rocky introductions, Draco and the detective, Harry Potter, become friends as Draco is forced to share very personal information that reveals more about himself than he would have ever admitted to under any other circumstance. Fortunately, Harry is not only understanding of Draco's sexual preferences but encourages him to keep doing what he loves--perhaps with Harry himself.

5. give me touch (‘cause I’ve been missing it) by yaz113 [E, 65k]

►Harry Potter is living the life he'd always dreamed about, happily married to his childhood sweetheart, Ginny Potter née Weasley and playing as the star seeker of the Montrose Magpies. One minor quidditch accident and one trip to the medical center later, Harry finds himself under the spell of Team Healer Draco Malfoy, inadvertently putting his dream life at risk.

—

※ Word count: 1k ~ 10k

※ Word count: 10k ~ 40k

change on the fly by @legen-wait-for-it-drarry [T, 30k]

the earth from a distance by @andthepeople [E, 15k]

The end is renown by @onehundredflamingos [E, 21k]

Falling For U by mik_exe [T, 13k]

The Hierophant by @hsvh-hp [M, 29k]

I Remember You... But It Wasn't Really You by @nakyrah [M, 32k]

Obliviate by ScarletTokugawa [T, 12k]

People You Know by Zoythren [M, 30k]

Rush by @mono-chromia [E, 10k]

Starting Over by Justlikewriting [M, 19k]

—

Ongoing Fest/Exchange

※ Fics would be listed elsewhere.

Harry/Draco Career Fair 2023 | @hd-fan-fair​

HD Sudsfest Lite 2023 | @hdsudsfest

HP No Nut November 2023 | @knot-your-mothers-mods

Sugarfest | @hpsugarfest

Shadows and Spells

[yarodrags]

Mr Nightingale he can't understand your songs

Occasionally Muriel will spot the wiry man curl up in a corner of the bookshop with his favourite tartan blanket and a bottle of chateauneuf du pape...

See the complete set here

Im so ready for Crowley to bust out his post divorce hair bc she be slaying

I subscribe to the fan analysis about how crowley is at heart an engineer 🥰 i just think that's so lovely hence his bird cage is adorned with symbols reminiscent of the Fibonacci spiral

And bc i love matching to show how these 2 complement each other azi has swirls wherw the light hits and crowley mainly has swirls in the shadows

There are also starry swirls on his turtleneck

[alteredsilicone]

hmm now that it's been some time since the techrot encore update and all the KIM chats have finished i got some thoughts which reign more on the critical side with a sprinkle of positivity (Flare and Lizzie); KIM spoilers obviously ahead

I'd have to say the 4 new protos were weaker than the og Hex except for Flare (though there are a FEW issues with their story but i can forgive it).

Flare is distinguished from the rest because their and Lizzie's story is what I consider to be close to "core Warframe" storytelling; a very deep personal story with a touch of Warframe space magic and camp. My disappointment comes with the good ending e-mail, where instead of making Temple a "true" 1999 frame that Albrecht accidentally (?) created, DE HAVE to bring Ballas into it for the 81208317th time and add some preamble how he was afraid of a revolutionary frame. Albrecht already made Qorvex, it would have been a very touching story of self acceptance and even death if Flare said "yeah in a few thousand years my body will germinate in a Warframe and I will live on as Temple, see you in the future" or something like that.

It seems "their humanity might not last" has been retconned from the previous update, so to me it would have been great if at least Flare/Temple were allowed to grapple with the inevitable transformation. :/ A lot of things in the WF1999 update seem to have been played safe in a very fanservicey way - we can't hurt people's feelings by saying their beloved protoframes are doomed to transform, so now all that was set up about their inevitable transformation is just a fart in the wind. sigh. the price of pandering.

Onto the rest.

Kaya is trying to be too many things at once, suffers from lack of personal back-and-forth like with Hex (talking about mundane things) and I am really not a fan of teenage genius wunderkind archetypes, because in her case it really seems like it's just an excuse for the writers to throw sci-fi technobabble at you with a "lol you're too stupid to understand it, so we don't have to explain it". This is a very sad contrast to WITW, where Fibonacci pulls the "you're too stupid to understand what Strands of Khra are (obvious technobabble)" and then immediately Loid chastises him and explains the concept - conceptually embodied timelines. So we DO understand what they are, even if it's a sci-fi concept. Plus that convo with Fibonacci and Loid was a double whammy of explaining the sci-fi terminology while also giving characterization (Euleria learning something from Loid, which tells us more about their personal relationship).

On a personal level, Kaya was both a popular Queen Bee, but also a total nerd Teacher's Pet - plus she was a teenager in the 90s, being a nerd was the complete opposite of being cool, videogames and other things were not mainstream hobbies like they are now.

Considering the heavy nature of her predicament and how her story centers around obsessing what others think of her - which could be a popular girl issue, it would be a very mature story of her having a serious blow to her reputation which is NOT her fault, which would touch upon the misogyny aspect of young girl's privacy being violated and it being seen as a stain on THEIR reputation while also criticizing the obsession with popularity and self-importance of mean girl behavior, but she's not REALLY a mean girl... I think? We get so little of her backstory it's hard to tell - she is both but neither.

Minerva and Velimir's story is just a Reddit r/relationships simulator which is not a good thing; it also shows the romance writer's booktok style writing where them being CIA superspies is a shallow set dressing for a frankly cliche wannabe sitcom drama but this time the spice is that the woman is an abusive POS and the man literally cannot be his own person with his own thoughts, so i guess that slightly deviates from the usual booktok formula where the man is a deranged daddy dom who is controlling and abusive but then at the conclusion of the story all of that is forgotten and he suddenly becomes Mister Perfect after falling in love with the heroine and being Tamed (hey guess who also do a complete 180 if you get their good ending??)

Now that we are moving on from 1999 I wonder what will be the style of storytelling - DE said the 1999 updates were their tryout of "character driven" storytelling; I'd say they won some and failed some. I do think we should zoom out a bit and... you know... move the damn plot.

Warframe 1999 was about catching Entrati - we caught him then lost him, so we literally did not move along with the plot.

I assume now we hunt Wally? I hope we are going to the Zariman, not Tau.

[dragonfreckles]

HELLOOOOO FELLOW BEEBO FANS, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS:

BEEBFIC TIME!!

[dewitty1]

Fic Recs Wrap Up October 2024ꐑ(ꐌ◡ꐌꐐ)࿐࿔࿓ཥ•̬͡•ོཤ(((༼•̫͡•༽)))←～（o ｀▽´ )oΨ

In Another Life (I Would Make You Stay) by aboutmalfoy

Seven years out from the war, Hermione comes to Harry with a way to undo the lasting damage done to the Wizarding World, and save those once lost. The catch is, only Harry will remember anything differently. When Harry wakes up in the world where Voldemort never came to be, he’ll have to navigate the life he never lived as if he’d been there all along. Except, a version of Harry was there all along—and he may not be so easily overridden. (Rec Post)

White Horses by JStevens

They say there are no white horses—those that we think of as white are really just a faded deceitful gray. And if there are no white horses, certainly there are no true heroes who will come riding in on one to save us from all our pain. After learning of the prophecy that will change his future, Harry returns to Hogwarts School for sixth year and finds that not everyone is who he thought they were. It seems that he is not. Definitely Draco Malfoy is not. As he tries to find a path to the end of his time at Hogwarts, he will have to grapple with questions of who to trust and who to love while navigating a world full of threats. This is a story of how we sometimes deceive ourselves and others, but hopefully find something true in the end. (Rec Post)

Recursion by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) @tessacrowley

A process is recursive when it defines or contains itself; e.g., the Fibonacci sequence, which determines the next number as the sum of the previous two. But not all recursive processes are mathematical. Recursion can happen in a temporal context when, for instance, the powerful magical force that is true love drags you back in time so it can create itself, endangering the fate of the Wizarding World—not to mention the very fabric of space and time—along the way. ( Rec Post)

To have a Home by Aulophobia

Not quite a decade after the war, Draco Malfoy was happy with his quiet little Muggle life in Oxford. He had a small group of friends from the university he’d attended, and colleagues from the law firm where he worked as a solicitor. He played folk music on his violin around the city. And he volunteered to provide legal services getting mostly idiot teenagers out of trouble with the law. His life was full. He had no contact with the magical world, and all was the way he liked it. And the feeling of emptiness in his chest, the feeling some part of him was missing, was at least better than the alternative. Or at least it was until the last few months when he kept getting called down to the police station to get Harry Potter out of trouble. Indecent exposure and possession was one thing, but the latest charge was for murder. OR Harry and Draco find each other again after the war in Oxford, a completely non-magical city. Together they solve the mystery of the city which hates all wizards but them. (Rec Post)

Here are a few more fics I've read recently that y'all might like to check out as well!(ノﾟ∀ﾟ)ノ━☆ﾟ･*:.｡. .｡.:*･.*･｡ﾟ*:・ﾟ✧

Trade My Heart For Honey by MyNameIsThunder @thunderfiction

A witch who thinks she’s a Seer, a Seer who thinks she’s a witch, a former nemesis-turned-something-turned-acquaintance who thinks they could be friends, and a Scottish village full of Muggles who think this is as much their business as the fair folk in the woods. Draco is going to prove them all wrong. (So so good, and it's for me?!?!? ♡✧( ु•⌄• )💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖)

Change the Ending by Anonymous for @hd-fan-fair H/D Muggle Fair 2024

When Draco gets hit by a curse that makes him essentially allergic to magic, Harry takes him in as a favour to Ron and Kingsley to teach him how to survive without it while they wait for a cure.

In the Fight for Someone's Heart, the Best Armour is Armani by Anonymous for @hd-fan-fair H/D Muggle Fair 2024

Harry is a famous actor. Draco is his stylist, who can't help but fall in love with him.

[ART & FIC] Starry, Silver Anchor by Anonymous for @hd-fan-fair H/D Muggle Fair 2024

Although no one can see it, Harry’s struggling and barely holding on. When he's given a chance, he asks for his deepest desire: for the war to never happen.

( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ HI! I'm back! I hope y'all didn't miss me too much! Please enjoy these fics as much as I have! Happy reading! xoxo Carey  (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖

[starseers-garden]

September NA [VS] art party! I can’t say I was a huge fan of the location this time. I appreciated the relevance to SotO (and attended as an obnoxiously green, blatantly-a-demon Kabus), but the dang ettins. Everyone was so wiggly bc of the ettins! I couldn’t get a lot of good pictures.

Gnash Fibonacci you are so handsome

[lunasgayshit]

🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as your posts make them smile. Please list five things that make you unique, four things you are super passionate about and why, OR three of your favorite memories. Feel free to send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile🦉

Oh wow um, first, thank you anon 💜😭😳

Five things that make me unique? Uh, not exactly unique, there are so many humans that any one thing is highly unlikely to be unique, but in combination they are :)

My egg was exceptionally hard to crack due to circumstances

I work in tech but my heart is in the arts and humanities, and having seen what capitalism did to my tech hobby, I will never make the same mistake with my art

I approach every person in my life with love in my heart, and treat them as such. Kindness, empathy, and patience are more important to me than I can say. We're all connected, we humans, and bringing love to every interaction is the best way I can think of to interact with others.

Due to the particulars of my autism (it's hard to focus on anything other than a conversation if I'm listening to that conversation, among other auditory processing issues), almost all of the music I like is nonlyrical. I have music for every mood, some of it the most beautiful things you've never heard, but none of it has a single word. I also always have something playing, whether it's music or a game I'm playing or something I'm watching.

I'm really good with mental arithmetic for numbers below a certain (ill-defined) size, especially things like Fibonacci numbers, square numbers, and addition/subtraction/multiplication (just like with a computer, everything but division is easy and fast). The numbers just come to me, a lot like Ramanujan said they come to him (except in my case they're not delivered by Hindu deities while I'm sleeping). I'll have the answer for a calculation before I even realize it and I won't know how I got the answer, but it'll be the right answer. It's weird, but it works!

As for things I'm super passionate about and why, this'll be interesting as I'm rather autistic so this is basically asking me to ramble about my special interests :) If anon knows anything about me they must know I'm autistic and they probably know at least a couple of these, so the list shouldn't be entirely surprising :) For all of these I could go on for longer than the post altogether so I'm going to try to be brief; know that there's so much more to say for each of these.

For as long as I can remember, language has been a special interest of mine. This manifests most specifically in words, meanings, etymologies, dialects, identifying languages from words / scripts / sounds. There's so much complexity and beauty in language, and it affects and influences every element of being human. I don't feel comfortable saying it's something that makes us human, particularly with recent research into cetaceans and other animals, but it is nevertheless an important part of being human.

I've been a Star Trek nerd similarly long. A lot of folks are Trek fans because they like the stories, the utopian vision of the future where most diseases have been cured and you can trans your gender in an afternoon with enough time left over for a fancy dinner, the egalitarian society, but for me it's deeper. Those things all matter, to be clear! They are important! But other things matter even more. For me it's about the radical love and acceptance people in the Federation show for one another. There's an implicit social contract of acceptance of differences and diversity, there's representation on screen and in universe of so much of the diversity of humanity. This is absolutely a result of the optimism, of living in a post-scarcity society, but it's also how I personally try to treat others.

Perhaps unsurprising is that I'm absolutely in love with science / mathematics, have been since I was a kid. Sure, there are certain fields I'm more interested in (physics, calculus, psychology, anthropology, linguistics as said above), but the broader subjects have always held my interest for as long as I can remember. If real life is a game, then science is the rules for how that game works. It's about the knowledge per se, for me (which is specifically why I say science / mathematics instead of an applied field like engineering)--all knowledge is worth having. But it's also about the learning, both students learning things and researchers discovering things. Learning things is cool! I genuinely hope we never learn everything about the universe, about ourselves. An existence where science / mathematics is genuinely, truly "done" would not be nearly as fulfilling.

Just as important is my appreciation and love of arts and the humanities more broadly. Like with language above, I'm not going to say that our pursuit of these subjects makes us human. However, like the sciences, these subjects do certainly make being human more rewarding and worthwhile. Again, like with the sciences, there is so much beauty in this world, so much nuance and subtlety that the arts and humanities help us understand. I genuinely see the sciences and the humanities as closely related in this way, in what draws me to them: much of what I said above about the sciences applies to here as well. It's all about learning and beauty, learning about the universe and ourselves and seeing the beauty and love that existence shows us every moment of every day. It's not coincidental that I get a bit poetic about this! Again, like with the sciences, there are certain kinds of art and subjects in the humanities that draw my attention more, but I do have a general appreciation for all of it.

I hope you can forgive me, anon, for taking so long to respond to this ask. I have taken your questions seriously and, in tandem with good old ADHD (and distraction from the many cuties on here), it's taken some time to arrange my thoughts.

[joker-tarot]

does the black moon howl?

fibonacci, baseball card, inverted sixth sense

you are a member of a group of sports fans who are also math nerds, but for some reason I can’t see the answer to your question properly (inverted sixth sense)

[just-call-mefr1es]

welcome back 2 another ewpisode of fries brainrot !! todays topic: girl world kinda cooks with swan siblings. ESPECIALLY marie. @straightupclownin youre probs gonna wanna hear this🥺

so for a bit of backgrounf for my non penny fans-> girl world is described as ‘a feminist love letter to every girl’ and its a song about, surprise, girls. in the song, penelope states how she loves all women, even the women that soceity hates. its about girlhood and its besutiful and i love it so much and-

‘god bless girls who do what they have to do to get what they want’ - first off, i know foesnt fit with marie because she DOESNT get what she wants!! she actually CANT get the things she wants!! (living mother and father, freedom etc) so how does it tie in with her? what if ‘what they want’ is referring to different things? what if they were referring to how she wants her father off her back, to stop pressuring her and critiquing her every move? she’ll do what she has to do to get what she wants, but they arent her wants, theyre her fathers wants.

‘god bless girls who sacrifice (to have a good time, to give life a shot)’ - so we’re gonna ignore the last part for now because marie cant sacrifice to have a good time or give life a shot im sorry. but she does sacrifice!! she sacrifices her childhood, she sacrifices her innocence to keep up with her father’s demands, she sacrifices imperfections because you cant have those in the swan household, she sacrifices her true self, she sacrifices rest, breaks, you name it, and she sacrifices her hair. so yeah, god bless girls who sacrifice.

‘a certain kind of woman is always kind of posing, even when she's also at rest. Lips and eyes, bones all in a line, crunching the numbers in her Fibonacci head’ - ALWAYS POSING!!! i love this part of the verse because i believe its very marie coded- shes always posing; i wouldnt be surprised if she was even doing it while resting. shes maintained the perfect daughter for so long, its ingrained in her every move. so she’s always kind of posing, even if theres no audience.

‘it's family and it's vomit; it's socioeconomics but none of that really matters it's just who she is’ - of course its family and vomit!! the vomit could be literal- im not sure if her father was ever a reason for her puking before (but theres always a possibility ig:P), or it could be metaphorical of how the way her family works disgusts her. socioeconomics is referring to the popularity she gained because of her family, and how she places herself at the top of the social hierarchy- but none of it really matters, though (ill explain later hokd on)

‘it's not a competition, still it feels like she's winning.’ - okay, so this specific part of the verse made me think that the past three lines could be said in lorens pov. LET ME COOK if you view it from this perspective, the lines could sound like they have more irritation/bitterness behind them, like hes poking jabs at her and such as we go on. it would explain the last part of the line before- ‘but none of that really matters, its just who she is’, as lorens thinking of ‘this is the way she is’ and whatnot. and then in this line, ‘its not a completion still it feels like shes winning’ is how he feels like hes losing against her in basically everything, since his father ingrained the thiught that marie is better than him in every way.

‘it's a hard game to quit once you know how to win, its a hard game to win once you know how to quit’ - i strongly believe these two lines are about both swan children, respectfully. ‘its a hard game to quit once you know how to win’ refers to how marie was forced to be perfect her whole life that it just became second nature. shes been doing this for so long, the thought of not being forced to be picture perfect is practicallu foreign to her. she cant quit the game shes been winning for years. ‘its a hard game to win once you know how to quit’ is loren. hes never had the same amount of pressure to be perfect as marie, so to him it doesnt really matter if hes perfect, as long as he isnt pissing off his father, hes ok. he doesnt need to win a game he refuses to play.

‘i love you so much and you make me so proud’ - since this line is at the end of the song,, id maybe associate it with marie thinking about loren when she finds out he died. shed regret the way she treated him nearing towards his end and when he was gone, so she tries to mimic (MIMIC🤯🤯🤯) their mother, reassuring that even if hes gone, she loved and shes proud

ok. uh i wojld leave it there but it feels weird ending a thing eithout a conclusioj so in conclusion marie would cry if she ever got 2 listen 2 this song and uhh skibidi simga i hope they all live happily ever after yay!!

[archivist-dragonfly]

Book 601

Q.E.D.: Beauty in Mathematical Proof

Burkard Polster (which sounds like a fake name to me)

Wooden Books / Walker & Company 2004

I’m a big fan of mathematical proofs. That may be a weird thing to read, but it’s true. Euclid rules. They can be incredibly beautiful and enormously satisfying. Especially if, like this book, they come with fascinating diagrams. Pythagoras, Erastosthenes, Cavalieri, Archimedes, Fibonacci, Euler, even Socrates—they’re all here, and it’s a lot more fun than it sounds.