#FilteredReality

[hey-its-haliee]

[W7: Body, Brand, Betrayal – Your Body Is Expired, Please Update!]

We Are Slave—Oops, I Mean Made of Fakeness

(It’s Not Just Surgery—It’s a Show, and We’re All Cast in It)

We don’t just modify our bodies anymore—we modify our entire image. Filters sculpt our faces before surgeons do. Aesthetic templates tell us what’s “hot,” and what's not. If we don't adapt? We risk being erased. In an era where looking good is survival, body modification isn’t a choice—it’s an expectation.

1. The Illusion of Choice: Are We Changing for Ourselves or for the Algorithm?

_Plastic Surgery? How about Image Surgery?

Before we go further, let’s get one thing straight: body modification isn’t just about surgery.

Everything gets an update—including what it even means to modify ourselves.

It’s not just the knife. It’s filters, contour, gym grinds, fashion overalls, camera angles. Heck, even a swipe of mascara and call it a day counts. Opting out? Not an option.

But here’s the kicker: Body modification isn’t the villain—pressure is. Beauty trends move faster than iPhone updates, and if you can’t keep up? You’re out.

One moment, razor-sharp cheekbones reign supreme. The next? ‘Soft girl’ beauty takes over—but only if the softness is sculpted just right.

And let’s be real, the no-makeup makeup look doesn’t mean actually bare-faced. Your skin better be flawless—naturally or, ahem, with a little help. (No hate to my fellow plastic surgery besties - it’s your body, your choice! You're cool.)

So, who decides these trends? Because it sure as hell isn’t the people draining their bank accounts trying to keep up.

_JoJo, Have You Learned NOTHING? You’re Too Old! Also, Grow Up!

Remember that whole thing about stereotypes back in Week 4? (If you’ve read it, you’ll know what I mean! Just wanna make sure😏) 

Yeah, well, plot twist: It’s not just about genders and sexuality anymore, because the new girl has arrived: The ‘acceptable’ way to be an adult. 

And no one felt that pressure harder than JoJo Siwa. 

She didn’t go under the knife (I think?), but let’s be real—she had to remodel herself to fit the part. If body modification is about survival, then this is its final form: Image modification.

Now don’t get me wrong, what she did is a mess, but let’s be real; she was handed a checklist: 

🎀The bows? Juvenile.  ✨The sparkles? Cringe. 

The new script?

💋Smudge the eyeliner.  🔊Ditch the high pitch 🦵🏿Rip the fishnets.  💦Act provocatively.  🍻Chug booze on stage ✒️Flaunt tattoos like war medals. (they’re fake btw).  👶Talk about little kiddies. 🔞And, of course, sprinkle in some NSFW content.

(not that she had time to figure it out before the world forced her hand—but hey, give the girl a break, she’s trying) 

_Insert Coin to Continue: The Cost of Being ‘Seen’

Just like that, Jojo wasn’t a kid anymore—she was reprogrammed. And of course, the internet had opinions (as always). 

“That’s what adulthood is supposed to look like, right?” -little JoJo thinks.

But did JoJo actually choose this transformation? Or was it a survival tactic?

And mate, I call this - “the trap”.

Body modification isn’t just about lips and hips anymore—it’s about shaping an entire image to fit a mold. And when the mold shifts, so must we.

JoJo didn’t just change—she had NO choice. The world would never let her stay the same. And fame? Fame doesn’t reward authenticity—it rewards adaptability. 

New image or full-blown surgery? Doesn’t matter. JoJo only gets one real choice: Adapt or die.

2. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Me! A Guide to Looking ‘Real’ (By coughing the money up)

_When Your Existence Needs a Glow-Up

We’re told self-love is the answer—but if you feel ugly?

That’s on you.

Every flaw is your personal project to fix. No pressure, though! Just a quick filler here, a gym membership there, a thousand-dollar serum—boom! You’re “empowered” now. 

You CHOSE this yourself, right?

Yay! You “escaped” the male gaze…

...Only to be enslaved by capitalism.

Flawlessness has never been more expensive, yet we’re still expected to achieve it effortlessly. Self-love didn’t free us—it just gave us new ways to hate ourselves. 

(Somehow, we still gotta look hot while falling apart.)

And social media? It thrives on this cycle. Algorithms don’t just reflect beauty standards—they enforce them. The more engagement a body type gets, the more the system amplifies it. Platforms don’t just show us what’s trending; they make sure it stays trending—until it’s time to sell us the next look.

Carah and Dobson (2016) explain that algorithms track which body types get the most engagement and push them even further, making beauty a numbers game where visibility equals value.

If you can’t do that? The algorithm swipes left. 

_Congrats! You’re a Trend Now. Hope You Age Well

So, we’ve dragged modern "body modification"—a.k.a. "Image Surgery"—through the mud. But what about the OG version?

You know, the real knives-and-needles kind? The one that doesn’t just tweak your Instagram aesthetic but permanently reshapes you?

Once upon a time, the BBL was the must-have body upgrade. And guess who led the charge? The queen of body trends herself - Kim Kardashian.

She didn’t follow the trend—she was the trend. Hyper-curvy became the gold standard of desirability. But the moment slim and “natural” came back? She deflated faster than Wall Street in ‘29.

Kim didn’t just sell a body type—she sold an entire industry. And when she cashed out, the beauty economy followed.

As Dorfman et al. (2017) point out, Instagram isn’t just flexing glow-ups; it’s fueling a billion-dollar plastic surgery pipeline, turning young adults into prime targets.

_Your BBL Is Overdue!

The worst part?

↪️Kim can afford to hit ‘undo.’ 

😭The rest of us? We’re stuck with yesterday’s trend on bodies that today’s beauty standard has already abandoned.

Today it’s BBLs, tomorrow it’s something else—but the system never changes.

Drenten, Gurrieri and Tyler (2019) make it clear—visibility is currency, and if you can’t cash in, you’re out. The algorithm doesn’t do nostalgia.

3. The Ultimate Scam: It Was Never About Bodies, It’s About CONTROL

_Body Modification: The New Cage of Beauty – If You Don’t Change, You’ll Disappear

Body modification isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about proving something. 

Prove you’re sexy, but not too sexy. Be strong, but still desirable. Improve yourself, but in an acceptable way.

It’s not about personal choice anymore; it’s about survival of the most “beautiful”. Change your body, or risk becoming invisible. 

💪“Strong women don’t care what people think.”  (Yes, we do. That’s why we get work done or you’ll just shame us into silence again.) 💅“Real women don’t chase validation.”  (Unless it’s repackaged as empowerment—then go off, queen.) 😎“Confidence is power.”  (But not too much confidence. Stay humble, darling.)

So here we are, stuck between two impossible choices:

Modify yourself? You’re a brainwashed sellout. Stay the same? You’re insecure and outdated.

SHOCKER: We’re Not Modifying Ourselves—We’re Being Modified

At this point, body modification isn’t just about looks. It’s about staying relevant.

Kim modified her body. JoJo modified her personality.

We don’t just edit our faces or tweak our figures anymore. We modify our entire identities—piece by piece—until we fit whatever the world expects of us. 

Our bodies are now brands.

Our confidence? A product we have to buy.

...

And if we refuse to play the game?

We get erased. From relevance. From desirability. From opportunity.

So, tell me—who really benefits from all this?

Because if we’re all constantly reshaping ourselves to fit the next trend…

Who’s really in control?

Your body is expired, please update?

Maybe it’s time we stop letting the system install the updates for us...

References:

Atske, S 2021, ‘The State of Online Harassment’, Pew Research Center, viewed 21 March 2025, .

Haslop, C, O’Rourke, F & Southern, R 2021, ‘#NoSnowflakes: The toleration of harassment and an emergent gender-related digital divide, in a UK student online culture’, Convergence: The International Journal of Research into New Media Technologies, vol. 27, no. 5, pp. 1418–1438.

Marwick, AE & Caplan, R 2018, ‘Drinking male tears: language, the manosphere, and networked harassment’, Feminist Media Studies, vol. 18, no. 4, pp. 543–559, viewed .

[mirandatrannzz]

[Week 8]

📱 The Internet Sold Us a New Face - Now We Hate Our Own

"Fix Me" Filters & Fake Perfection: A Glitch in Reality?

Surgery filters have been widely criticized for promoting unrealistic beauty standards and harming mental health. One example is Instagram's "Fix Me" filter, banned due to its damaging psychological impact (BBC, 2019).

The filter mimicked a surgeon's markings on a patient's face, illustrating the process of cosmetic enhancement. Its creator, Daniel Mooney, intended it as a critique rather than a glorification of plastic surgery, highlighting its unglamorous reality (Mooney, 2019). However, Instagram's ban underscored a deeper issue - while filters can reinforce harmful beauty ideals, they are not the root cause. Instead, they reflect and amplify pre-existing societal pressures, making unattainable beauty the norm rather than the exception (Elias & Gill, 2017).

🚨 The real issue? Filters are not simply a tech innovation gone wrong but an extension of a billion-dollar beauty industry that profits from insecurity (Laham, 2020). While Mooney's filter was removed, the pressure to conform to digitally enhanced beauty remains stronger than ever, signaling that the issue runs more profound than any single app.

💭 So, are AR filters driving these toxic standards or merely exposing a system that has long dictated what is considered beautiful?

Eurocentric Beauty, Social Comparison & the Profitable Business of Insecurity

Leon Festinger's Social Comparison Theory (1954) explains how individuals evaluate self-worth by comparing themselves to societal norms (Festinger, 1954).

🔍 But beauty is not just an aesthetic preference; it is an industry that thrives on exclusion. The global Beauty & Personal Care, worth US$677.19bn, sustains itself by making people feel like they are never enough (Statista, 2024). In this economy, insecurity is currency, and filters are the salespeople, constantly redefining what is desirable.

✨ A striking example? Bella Hadid underwent rhinoplasty at just 14 (Ayoub, 2022), a decision shaped by the Eurocentric beauty ideals dominating her industry. Growing up in the spotlight, she was surrounded by a standard that favored features historically associated with whiteness - high cheekbones, small noses, and fair skin.

💭 Years later, she expressed regret, saying: "I wish I had kept the nose of my ancestors."

Her experience reveals how algorithmically curated beauty norms shape self-perception, pressuring individuals - especially those in the public eye - to conform from an early age.

Dr. Michelle Smith linked this to 19th-century ethnic rhinoplasty, when people altered their features to "pass as white" for social mobility (Ayoub, 2022). This historical parallel reveals how beauty has always been a tool of privilege and power.

Social media intensifies this struggle. Platforms like Instagram and Snapchat profit from comparison, filling feeds with filtered, surgically enhanced faces that subtly suggest: This is what you should look like (Lavrence & Cambre, 2020). 

💥 The result? This cycle fuels body dysmorphia, particularly among women and marginalized communities. However, resistance is growing - movements like body positivity, digital detoxing, and online activism challenge the dominant beauty narrative (Coy-Dibley, 2016).

Yet, the damage is already done. The rise of "Snapchat Dysmorphia" proves that filters do not just change appearances; they change how we see ourselves.

Snapchat Stole My Face: When Filters Rewrite Self-Perception

🎥 Four video testimonies reveal a disturbing trend: Women, confronted with their unfiltered reflections, express profound depression and self-disappointment (Hawker & Carah, 2020). This is not a fleeting moment of dissatisfaction - it is a psychological fracture, where the self they see in the mirror no longer matches the self they have been conditioned to expect.

For some, the solution is drastic: deleting Snapchat altogether, a digital amputation in pursuit of mental stability. For others, the cycle of insecurity continues - trapped in a loop where natural skin textures and facial features feel like defects rather than differences (Hawker & Carah, 2020).

🤳 This phenomenon directly aligns with Festinger's Social Comparison Theory - filters do not just offer enhancements; they create a new, unattainable benchmark for beauty, forcing users into constant comparison (Festinger, 1954). When social media rewards digital perfection, reality starts feeling like a flaw.

💔  Ultimately, these experiences reinforce the central theme of this essay: The internet did not just sell us a new face - it made us hate our real one. Through AR filters, beauty standards have shifted from aspirational to artificial, leaving a generation struggling to accept their reflections (Burnell et al., 2021).

What do you think? Are filters the real villain, or are they just exposing a much bigger issue? 💬 Drop your thoughts below! ⬇️

References

Ayoub, S. (2022, March 18). On Bella Hadid, beauty standards and the shame of hiding your ethnicity. The Sydney Morning Herald. https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/on-bella-hadid-beauty-standards-and-the-shame-of-hiding-your-ethnicity-20220318-p5a5rd.html

BBC. (2019, October 23). Instagram bans “cosmetic surgery” filters. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/business-50152053

Burnell, K., Kurup, A. R., & Underwood, M. K. (2021). Snapchat lenses and body image concerns. New Media & Society, 24(9), 146144482199303. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444821993038

Coy-Dibley, I. (2016). “Digitized Dysmorphia” of the female body: the re/disfigurement of the image. Palgrave Communications, 2(1), 1–9. https://doi.org/10.1057/palcomms.2016.40

danielmooney . (2019). Instagram. Instagram.com. https://www.instagram.com/danielmooney/p/Bx2XdrSIc2R/?img_index=1

Elias, A. S., & Gill, R. (2017). Beauty surveillance: The digital self-monitoring cultures of neoliberalism. European Journal of Cultural Studies, 21(1), 59–77.

Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140. https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202

Hawker, K., & Carah, N. (2020). Snapchat’s augmented reality brand culture: sponsored filters and lenses as digital piecework. Continuum, 35(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1080/10304312.2020.1827370

Laham, M. (2020). Made Up. Google Books. https://books.google.com.vn/books?hl=en&lr=&id=sgPzDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=billion-dollar+beauty+industry+that+profits+from+insecurity&ots=AZ_Qn9qi2Y&sig=fo1J-veHSTuCngYQ0c2NacQ5-iE&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Lavrence, C., & Cambre, C. (2020). “Do I Look Like My Selfie?”: Filters and the Digital-Forensic Gaze. Social Media + Society, 6(4), 205630512095518. https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305120955182

Statista. (2024). Beauty & Personal Care - Worldwide | Statista Market Forecast. Statista. https://www.statista.com/outlook/cmo/beauty-personal-care/worldwide

[musicarenagh]

Ellie Burke Delves into 'Filtered Reality' with Captivating Musical Commentary on Social Media Liverpool-based singer-songwriter Ellie Burke is making waves with her unique blend of soft pop and lo-fi beats, drawing inspiration from artists like Sasha Sloan and Olivia Dean. Her latest release, 'Filtered Reality,' invites listeners into Ellie's world, exploring the insecurities and negative impact of social media. 'Filtered Reality' emerged as part of Ellie's university dissertation, where she aimed to shed light on the detrimental effects of social media. Through extensive research and personal accounts, Ellie discovered the toll it takes on mental health, particularly through cyberbullying and the perpetuation of unrealistic standards. Ellie shares, "One girl spoke about how social media exacerbated her eating disorder, exposing her to negative content. Another person discussed how cyberbullying took a toll on their mental health. An influencer opened up about the anxiety she experienced from portraying an unrealistic lifestyle online. These accounts inspired me to create 'Filtered Reality.'" While acknowledging the positive aspects of social media, such as connection and information sharing, Ellie's goal is to let others know that they are not alone in their struggles. Her music serves as a medium for engaging and thought-provoking commentary, providing an escape for her listeners. Ellie's musical journey began as a teenager, captivated by Disney and Nickelodeon stars like Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Ariana Grande. Inspired to take the stage herself, Ellie pursued performing arts, attended singing auditions, and studied music production at university. With her debut single, "The Moon," released on January 20th, Ellie captured hearts with her spacious sound. She followed up with the enchanting track "Together," a heartfelt ode to devotion and love, featuring a simple acoustic production complemented by her dreamy vocals. Beyond her recorded music, Ellie can be found busking and gracing stages at various venues and events in Liverpool, earning her recognition as a relatable and down-to-earth rising star. Keep an eye on Ellie Burke as she continues to captivate audiences with her introspective and relatable approach to music, providing a voice for those navigating the complexities of a filtered reality. Watch Filtered Reality below   Follow Ellie Burke on Facebook Spotify Instagram

[fuzzballsheltiepants]

10 Fandom, 10 Characters, 10 People

Name 10 different characters, from 10 different Fandom, and tag 10 different people to do the same.

Thank you @justadreamfox for the tag! It's been a long time since I've done one of these so here goes

Andrew Minyard, AFTG (duh)

Evan Buckley, 9-1-1 (my SON)

Murderbot/SecUnit, The Murderbot Diaries (still feel guilty using its real name)

Alex Claremont-Diaz, Red White & Royal Blue (particularly the book version)

Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

Daemon Sadi, The Black Jewels Trilogy

Aedion Ashryver, Throne of Glass series (Kingdom of Ash doesn't exist in this house)

Valancy Stirling, The Blue Castle

Yelena Zaltana, Poison Study

Pat Merton, Proper English

and to tag some people: @foxsoulcourt, @tntwme, @annawrites, @littlespoonevan, @cats-are-assholes, @sig66, @filteredred, @jeni182, @bookofmirth, @curvedyellowfruit

[fandoms-rants]

Love all the tags from people but I especially love the thought of Andrew being the Tony Hawk of Exy, like he really does give that vibe!

@jtl-fics

@pinkhair-smoothbrain

@habakos

@filteredred

My favorite Andrew headcanon still remains that upon retiring from Exy—a good several years before average, and waaaay before Neil and Kevin, because he's finally secure enough in his life and desires to recognize that he doesn't need to keep doing something he doesn't enjoy just because hes good at it—he goes back into law and becomes a public defender.

It's not like he forgot anything since college, and most of the bar exam is rote memorization, so picking it back up is simple. Neil is too happy that Andrew is making such a major decision on his own initiative to be disappointed about losing pro exy.

On the other hand. Can you imagine sitting in a jail cell for auto theft waiting for some underpaid schmuck to offer you a plea deal when fucking LeBron James walks in.

[chloe-m-m]

Alipay: The Most Toxic Way to Pay for Anything

In the most literal sense, a filter is something that is used in order to remove impurities from something. However, in a more digital context it is also used to remove 'impurities', but even more so, is used to 'improve' a person's features. Rettberg (2014) notes that in a social media environment, filters are often perceived to add to an image (i.e. boosting the colour or blurring parts of an image in order to enhance another aspect) (p.21).

Filters have certainly developed over the last five years alone, where originally they were used in order to change the person's face into something silly, like a lemon. Where now, especially on very public visual social media (i.e. Instagram), filters are used to meet an 'ideal' beauty standard to fit societies heteronormative beauty principles. Often filters will smooth out the person's skin, make their lips bigger, nose smaller, even when the primary function of the filter may not be for that function, for example wanting to change your eye colour, and as a 'bonus' comes with the aforementioned features as well. Furthermore, as noted by Miller (2021), these filters *usually* take on an androgynous, caucasian appearance which begs the question of the ethical implications of filters in addition to the problems of body image and body dysmorphia that are often intensified by these filters.

A prominent example of beauty filters working their way into everyday lives, more so than our daily (even hourly use of social media, is the update made by Alipay, where they incorporated beauty filters into their payment system. Alipay is very similar to PayPal in that they are third-party and peer-to-peer (respectively) payment platforms. In 2019, Alipay made an update to their platform that added beauty filters to their facial recognition system (one way users can certify a payment, they can also use a PIN). After the initial roll-out "face-scan payments increased by 100%... and they number of women users... increased by 123%" (Li 2019 as cited by Peng 2020). In their press release announcing the update they described it as "[making] you look even prettier than with a beauty camera. I bet you'll be impressed" (Liao 2019). This casual phrasing of 'clear improvements' only reinforces the stagnant and dogged ideals society has, and their persistence in order to maintain those values is maddening as there is always so much talk of reform and supposed progress, especially in a Western format, that is so blatantly wrong and frankly patronising. There are not enough words to explain the clear bias in technology development and the systemised oppression by men in order to bolster "patriarchal capitalism" (Peng 2020). This is further emphasised by the male values that infiltrate technology development (*cough* Alipay *cough*) and manipulating "gender power relations" (Peng 2020) through the world's routine consumption of technology developed by men. The article that has been quoted is a great read to further understand the Alipay update:

https://www-tandfonline-com.ezproxy.lib.swin.edu.au/doi/epub/10.1080/14680777.2020.1750779?needAccess=true

This YouTube video is also great for a quick overview of the effect of filters from the perspective of social media users, medical experts and social influencers:

References:

Liao, R 2019, China’s Alipay Adds Sought-After Beauty Filters to Face-Scan Payments, Tech Crunch, viewed 21 April <https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/03/alipay-beauty-filters/>

Miller, L 2021, ‘MDA20009 Week Seven Guest Lecture Instagram Filters’, MDA20009 Digital Communities, Learning Materials via Canvas, Swinburne University of Technology, 21 April, viewed 21 April 2021

Peng, A Y 2020, ‘Alipay Adds ‘Beauty Filters’ to Face-Scan Payments: A Form of Patriarchal Control Over Women’s Bodies’, Feminist Media Studies, vol. 20, no. 4

Rettberg, J W 2014, ‘Filtered Reality’, in Seeing Ourselves Through Technology: How We Use Selfies, Blogs and Wearable Devices to See and Shape Ourselves, Palgrave Macmillan, London, pp. 20-32

[cowpants147]

39. A genre you wish you like but don’t & 48. A book you’ve had a dream about

39. A genre you wish you like but don’t

I wish I liked sci-fi but it just doesn't click with me. I think I've read one that ive liked and that was Starflight by Melissa Landers.

48. A book you’ve had a dream about.

Idk about this one. I mean it's definitely happened especially after reading before bed but I can't think specifics.

[nekojitachan]

Falling

This is one of my owed fics from the aftgremix ‘guess which fic is mine’ challenge - @filteredred asked for a story based on the prompt by  @veronicabuncherites 10.  you’ve been breaking into my car to sleep at night and I’ve let it slide because it’s been cold out but I have a date and I need you to find somewhere else (fine, go in my house/garage, I don’t care, you’re not messing this date up for me)   (found here), for andreil.

I hope I did it justice, of course the mind went in one direction and blew the 1k minimum out of the water. *sighs*

Ah... guess ‘T’ rating - lots of references to Andrew’s childhood in the foster system (nothing graphic, just the whole ‘NOT GOOD’ thing), and dating references. Also, mention of a character being homophobic. This is an AU PSU fic, too.

*******

Andrew internally sighed when he got out to his car and realized that Josten had crashed in it yet again. Normally he tried to overlook it (even though it was his car) because it was cold out, Josten was a fellow former foster kid and the idiot would just sleep outside on a bench or something rather than put up with his asshole roommate – it had absolutely nothing to do with big blue eyes and dark auburn curls which fell into them when not pulled back by atrociously orange bandanas and an impossibly perfect ass.

Absolutely nothing.

Josten was mouthy, temperamental rookie who enjoyed Exy way too much and had been damaged by the same fucked-up system which had spit out Andrew, to the point that Foxes’ favorite bet on the kid (other than him starting fights) was if he was gay or straight. It was almost through the end of the fall semester and Josten showed no sign of helping his teammates settle the bet anytime soon, as he ignored anyone not on the team and even then his relationship with the rest of the Foxes could only be considered ‘platonic’ at best.

Such as him sleeping in someone’s car to avoid dealing with his homophobic, envious, asshole roommate.

Andrew banged on the roof of the GS a couple of times to wake the idiot and avoid a repeat of Neil pulling a knife on him upon being woken up without warning; he’d much rather save the ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ for his date later that night.

As expected, there was the sound of muted cursing when Neil jolted awake, followed by movement as Neil scrambled to grab his meager things (and brandish the ever-present weapon) until he realized it was Andrew standing outside. Then he gave Andrew a tentative wave before he put away the knife and opened the nearest back door. “Hi.”

Andrew gave him a cool look until the freshman exited his car. “Again?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” Josten dumped his ratty backpack on the ground and huddled inside his overlarge second-hand coat, the hood of the sweatshirt worn beneath it pulled over his head; he looked ridiculously young at the moment, looked ridiculously attractive with those blue eyes and sharp cheekbones and full bottom lip, which made something inside of Andrew clench hard when he thought about the kid in the foster system. “It was Seth and Allison last night, seems they’re back on this week.”

Huh, usually Renee gave Andrew some sort of warning when her bitch roommate hung out with the loser so he was prepared to find Josten camping out in the GS. “Well, if they’re back at it tonight, find somewhere else.” At Josten’s curious look, Andrew motioned to his car. “I’ve a date.”

“Oh.” Josten hunched his shoulders at the news then gave a lopsided smile. “That’s fine, it’s not supposed to rain or anything so I’ll be fine.”

The idiot was going to camp outside, Andrew thought as he pinched the bridge of his nose. The temps were barely above freezing as an unexpected cold front covered the South, and Josten just shrugged at the thought of ‘roughing it’, even if he was supposed to be from Maryland or some other Northern state.

Josten didn’t say much about himself, other than his parents were dead and he’d ended up in the foster system afterwards at a young age, and Wymack was unusually tight-lipped about the kid, too. All the man had told the team was that Josten was damn good at Exy and had ‘anger and trust issues’, and so was a prime candidate for the Foxes. He’d been Wymack’s and Kevin’s first pick for the team, and those ‘issues’ had basically ensured that not many other teams had wanted him.

Andrew found it suspicious that there’d been precious little in the kid’s file when he’d broken into Wymack’s office to check him out.

Upon meeting him, Andrew had taken in the attitude, the spewed insults, the almost desperate ‘don’t fuck with me’ air and the hidden knives, and gone off to his session with Bee to inform her with some satisfaction that she’d definitely be earning her pathetic paycheck that year.

After she met the idiot, she remarked about how nice it was, for the Foxes to have a new player so devoted to the sport – and an attractive player at that, and when Andrew gave her a blank look in return, produced the low hum she always did when she knew she’d scored a point.

So by all rights, Andrew should just walk away… but for some stupid reason he thought about Nicky taking in him and Aaron, about Wymack offering his brother a scholarship as well as him, about Renee and her knives and offer to teach him how to fight with them.

About a stubborn, mouthy redhead sleeping out in the cold.

“Look, Aaron’s going to be off with his girlfriend,” Andrew managed to get the words out without clenching his jaw too much, “and Kevin’s spending the weekend at Coach’s shitty place, so the room will be empty tonight. You can crash in Kevin’s bed, I’m sure he won’t mind.” The Exy addict would probably be pleased that his mini-me was getting a proper night’s sleep for once.

Josten gave him a wary look as he picked up his backpack. “What about you?”

“Hot date, remember? I shouldn’t be back tonight.” If all went well, at least; Andrew and Roland had been circling around each other for a while, and finally were to go out after Roland’s shift at Eden’s ended that night.

Josten gazed at him for a couple of seconds as if debating what to do or if it was a trap of sorts, but for the most part, the two of them got along – Andrew did let the kid crash in his car, after all, and Josten treated him with respect (or what Josten considered ‘respect’ – a bare minimum of antagonism and insults). “Okay, thanks.” He shivered a little as he shoved his bare hands into the pockets of his thrift-store coat. “I mean, it wouldn’t have been too bad, sleeping on the roof….”

“Come to my dorm room at seven-thirty,” Andrew said, feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

“Okay,” Josten repeated before flashing him a wide grin and taking off, in the direction of the stadium, of all places. Andrew figured he was headed there to bother Wymack and get some practice in (and avoid his roommate as much as possible); he pushed all thoughts of the rookie striker out of his head (or tried to) as he got into his car and headed out for coffee and donuts.

Aaron was up when he returned to the dorm, eyes bleary and hair still flattened from bed. “Coffee?” he grunted out as soon as he saw Andrew; he’d spent the entire ride back from their game at Madison studying for an exam on Monday, and would head over to the cheerleader’s to resume in a little bit.

“With extra shots of espresso,” Andrew said as he set the drink carrier on the counter, along with the box of donuts. “And the cherry jelly donuts you like.”

His brother made a pleased noise as he shuffled forward to grab at the large cup of coffee. Andrew waited until he had several sips and a donut before he spoke again. “Josten’s going to crash here tonight.”

“Eh? Neil?” Aaron frowned as if trying to make sense out of the words and grabbed another donut. “What, he fighting with the asshole again?”

When wasn’t Josten fighting with Gordon? The upperclassman was an asshole to everyone, and Josten being a better striker than him meant that he was constantly goading the temperamental rookie on, much to most of the Foxes’ annoyance. “Seems that the asshole got back together with Reynolds.”

“Ah. Well, fine with me, I’ll be at Katelyn’s because of the Physio exam.” Aaron gazed at Andrew as if daring him to object.

“And I’ll be staying with Roland after going to Eden’s,” he shot back; they stared at each other before Aaron looked away first so he could have some more coffee.

It wasn’t perfect, their ‘acceptance’ of each other’s ‘dating’ preferences, but Nicky had forced the two of them to sit down and hash out their differences before he’d returned to Germany. Andrew didn’t step in with Aaron’s girlfriends unless there was proof they were using his brother for something (which unfortunately wasn’t the case with Katelyn – at least yet), and Aaron kept his shitty, homophobic comments to himself. To be fair, Aaron did seem to be working on getting better in not being such a bastard in that regard after finding out that Andrew was gay.

“Whose bed is he using?” Aaron asked once he finished another donut.

“Kevin’s.”

Aaron gave him an odd look like that before sipping his coffee, which made Andrew narrow his eyes. “What?”

“Just… the guy’s not bad looking, considering how half the Vixens flirt with him all the time, and you actually let him live after breaking into your car. Would have thought you might have wanted the excuse to get him into your bed.”

Andrew had the last bite of his cream-filled donut then brushed the powdered sugar from his hands as he gave his brother a cold look. “I didn’t kill him because it would have gotten blood all over the car.”

“A car which you still let him sleep in,” Aaron argued. “All the time.”

“Because he doesn’t fuck with it, he just sleeps there.” Why did he have to defend himself like this?

“You don’t let anyone drive that thing, and you nearly took off Kevin’s arm when you thought he scratched it the one time.”

Andrew gave him a look which clearly asked ‘your point’?

“And don’t think that I haven’t noticed the way you stare at his ass during practice,” Aaron added with evident relish. “You like him. You let him sleep in your car without stabbing him and now you’re letting him crash in our room because you like him, the walking disaster he is.” Aaron wrinkled his nose as if mildly disgusted. “So why are you going out with Roland, who’ll sleep with anyone, instead of Neil?”

“Because Roland will sleep with anyone,” Andrew quipped, just to annoy his brother. “And I don’t like Josten.”

“Ew, didn’t need to know that.” Aaron rubbed at his eyes as if trying to erase some awful image from his head. “And I think you’re just too afraid of being turned down. Don’t know why, you’re the only one he doesn’t give shit to all the time.” He seemed to think of something. “You and Renee.”

Yeah, because Josten knew that Renee wasn’t the goody two-shoes she appeared to be, had somehow caught a glimpse of ‘Natalie’ carefully hidden beneath the cross necklace and friendly smiles. Oh, Andrew was so curious about the rookie’s past, about what really had happened to his parents, about the old, faded scars on that runner’s body he thought about much too much….

“Your brains are scrambled from too much caffeine, it’s not looking good for your grades,” Andrew taunted as he grabbed another donut, which earned him a rude gesture from his ‘beloved’ twin. At least Aaron dropped the topic after that, in favor of brewing a pot of coffee then getting ready so he could leave for Katelyn’s.

Kevin finally stumbled out of bed an hour or so later, and perked up when Andrew told him he had to change the sheets of his bed since Josten would be using it later that night. “He’s sleeping here? Good.” He scowled at the coffee pot as if offended that it was only half-full then grabbed it to pour himself a cup. “Dad tried to give him and Seth some time to work things out, but he’s about to give him a key to the stadium so he can crash there rather than keep sleeping in your car or somewhere worse, especially with winter approaching.”

There was that damn clenching feeling inside of Andrew at the thought of not going out to his car on the weekends or even before practice during the week on rare occasions to find Josten asleep in the back, curled up in a small ball with his ridiculous hair a mess and pale blue eyes hooded with sleep, a sheepish smile on his face at being caught out there again.

Dammit, Andrew needed his date with Roland.

Kevin checked his phone while drinking his coffee, and must have gotten a text from Wymack about helping out with a certain Exy-addicted rookie hanging out at court because he cursed beneath his breath and whipped up one of his disgusting smoothies which he gulped down before he jumped in the shower, then asked Andrew for a ride to the stadium. For a moment, Andrew almost said ‘no’, but he figured he could always pick up a few things while out.

“After you change your sheets.”

“Right.” Kevin nearly tripped over his own feet as he ran back to the shared bedroom.

And there he was, the ‘great’ Kevin Day, Exy’s best collegiate striker (well, unless you were a Ravens’ fan), a complete airhead off the court (and outside of a history class).

Andrew couldn’t wait until he got to Eden’s.

He dropped off his roommate and ran a few errands, went back to Fox Tower to take a nap then went up to the roof to have a smoke. While he was there, Renee stopped by to chat.

“Gordon and Reynolds,” Andrew started as she handed him a mug of hot chocolate.

“Yes.” She frowned a little as if thinking of what to say, bundled in an old coat and a long, orange knitted scarf with matching mittens on her hands. “I was tired from the game and went straight to bed last night, and didn’t realize that Allison left at some point to go to Seth’s room – I thought she just got up for an icepack because of her elbow.” She appeared chagrined about that, since Renee usually paid better attention to things, but it had been an exhausting game and she’d taken a rough hit herself from an asshole backliner who’d crossed the goal line which had allowed Kevin to score a penalty point. “I guess it was so bad that Matt and Kelly heard them in the next room, so it’s no wonder that Neil went out to your car. Dan’s not happy with her.”

Andrew scoffed to show what he thought about that, and the effect it would have on either Reynolds or Gordon.

“Yes, I know,” Renee sighed before she had some hot chocolate. “At the least, Neil should have a reprieve in another couple of weeks when the two start fighting again.”

Ah, someone was showing her claws, how rare. “Or Gordon’s grades finally slip enough to get him kicked off the team.” Andrew pulled on a mock innocent expression when Renee gave him a hurt look. “What? One can dream, can’t they?” At the least, he only had to deal with the homophobic loser for another semester.

“I won’t even bother,” Renee said as she shook her head. “Matt feels really bad for Neil, he’s debating offering to switch rooms with him even though Wymack had wanted to give the two a chance to ‘bond’ as strikers.” A sad smile curled her lips when Andrew scoffed again. “It’s a shame that Neil’s too wary to make any friends, even though most of the team is trying with him, and some people in his classes from what I hear.” For some reason she gazed at him with an inscrutable expression while she spoke.

There were two main types of foster kids, in Andrew’s experience – the ones who tried so hard to be liked, who were friendly and outgoing and did their best to please, to make friends wherever they ended up, to fit in, to not be picked on (to be hurt and torn apart and outcast). Sometimes it worked out for them, and sometimes… sometimes it eventually became too much, the system (the abuse). Then there were the ones like Andrew, the ones who kept a low profile, who didn’t try because what good did it ever do them? All it ever did was make them stand out, make them more of a target, made unwanted eyes and unwanted attention (unwanted hands and unwanted touches) be drawn their way, made things worse.

Neil Josten? The boy with the striking (ha) pale blue eyes and tousled dark red hair just begging to be touched (to be grabbed) and too-pretty face? He clearly had learned that it was best to not be friendly, to keep everyone at arm’s length with a sharp tongue at the very least, and sharper objects if possible.

No, Neil Josten didn’t do ‘friends’. Yet he still seemed to trust Andrew enough to sleep in his car, and accept his offer of a safe place to spend the night.

Andrew found himself leaning forward to let the rush of fear as he gazed at the ground four stories below overwhelm that damn clenching sensation in his chest.

Renee remained a little longer while they finished the hot chocolate then left with the empty mugs, and Andrew went back down after another cigarette. He read some before he gave in to the urge to clean, which he put down to the fact that neither Kevin nor Aaron were around to bitch about him throwing out things or moving around their stuff.

It wasn’t that he wanted the place to look good for Josten, not at all.

Once that was done, he got ready for the night, taking the time to shave and style his hair. It wasn’t often he went out on ‘dates’, all things considered. He didn’t often find guys who weren’t interested in anything more than getting off who could follow his rules, who stopped when he said ‘no’ and didn’t cross clearly defined boundaries. Since Geoff had moved to Atlanta, Andrew needed a new fuckbuddy, and Roland appeared more than eager to be it.

It was a couple minutes before seven-thirty when there was a knock on the door, but Andrew didn’t mind since he was bored and had nothing to do. He opened it to find Josten on the other side, a wary expression on his face (one of his defaults, that or the sharp grin he wore when about to verbally tear into someone or step out on a court, or an otherwise blank expression) as he clutched the strap of his orange and white backpack in his hands, dressed in the usual worn jeans and oversized, light grey cotton hooded t-shirt. “Uhm, are you still sure….”

Andrew motioned him inside as he stepped away from the door. “You’re sleeping in Kevin’s bed and there’s a towel for you in the bathroom. Don’t touch anything else.” He thought about that for a moment. “You can have Kevin’s energy bars and drinks.”

“It’s fine, I brought stuff.” Josten tugged on the strap of the backpack. “A couple of Seth’s friends came over, they’re planning on hanging out all night so… thanks.” He gazed at Andrew, seemed to take in his appearance then glanced away quickly.

Andrew told himself that he was imagining the slight flush to those sharp cheekbones.

He left after making sure that Josten knew which bed was Kevin’s (as if the PSU bedspread wasn’t a giveaway) and swore to not leave unless he locked the door behind him, then went on his way.

It was quiet in the car without Aaron in the passenger seat and Kevin in the back, arguing over what music to listen to on the drive or how the Foxes had played that week (more like Kevin bitch about how the Foxes had played). Andrew hated to admit that he’d grown used to their presence, to watching over Kevin almost as much as his brother, to no longer being so alone. He didn’t need anyone near him, was fine eating by himself at Sweeties’ (and picking up some cracker dust to enjoy later that night and to take back to PSU for Aaron, for after his exam), and sitting at the bar at Eden’s instead of the usual table.

Roland smiled at him once the bartender noticed his arrival, and spent a couple of minutes flirting while setting him up with a bottle of water and a couple of shots which Andrew nursed over time, along with a couple of packets of the cracker dust. He enjoyed the slight buzz of the drugs and alcohol while watching the people around him, the looks he garnered for the tight fit of his black t-shirt and armbands, and the occasional remark from Roland or the other staff who knew him from him and Aaron working as barbacks during the summers.

Andrew would check his phone from time to time (message from Kevin about an ‘amazing’ practice and getting on him to join in on the evening sessions next week - which wasn’t going to happen, Aaron asking to be put out of his misery, a couple from Nicky which were the usual rambling updates, a note from Renee that Gordon and his idiot friends were being especially rowdy that night so it was good that Neil had someplace quiet and warm to sleep).

“Oh, it looks serious, whatever it is,” Roland remarked as he set another shot of whiskey on the counter in front of Andrew. “Hot sext? Nice and steamy?”

Andrew gave the bartender a bland look for a couple of seconds before he clicked his tongue. “No.”

The curt answer seemed to affect Roland, since he gave a nervous laugh and took a step back. “Ah, okay. Is everything all right?”

“It’s fine.” Andrew internally winced as he thought about how often Josten said something similar, that the rookie insisted that he was all right even if he’d been knocked on his ass and was barely conscious. He stared at a man who’d been hit on so many times in the last couple hours, who was attractive and outgoing and more than willing to get him off that night and….

Nothing.

Well, not quite nothing. He thought about how Roland’s eyes weren’t an enticing pale blue, how his hair was too dark to be auburn, the short dreadlocks weren’t messy loose curls, the bone structure of his handsome face too strong and broad, just like his build, and… and….

Dammit, he wasn’t Neil Josten. Somewhere along the line, Andrew’s fucked up brain (and hormones) had become fixated on a half-feral, mouthy redheaded Exy-addict who treated him with cautious respect.

He was so screwed.

(Not that night, though.)

Numb with unwelcome realization, he grabbed the shot to down it in one go, set the glass back on the bar then reached for his wallet to pay his tab. “I’m done for the night,” he declared as he stood up and set the cash on the bar.

“Wait, what? But I still have to work ‘til close,” Roland shouted as he gawked at Andrew. “What about later?”

Andrew gave him a two fingered salute and walked away without any true regrets.

It was after midnight when he returned to Fox Tower; he could hear noise from the suite where Josten was supposed to room with Gordon, but it was quiet when he approached his own. Considering yesterday’s away game, sleeping in a car and then practicing all day, Andrew imagined that Josten had to be exhausted and probably was asleep, if he hadn’t left to crash someplace else.

He was quiet as he entered the suite, which was dark with the lights turned off and nothing obvious out of place. Andrew left his keys on his desk and his coat draped over the chair, then headed to the bedroom. He’d stepped into the short hallway which led to that room, along with the bathroom and kitchen, when a shadowy figure appeared in the bedroom doorway.

It was Josten, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, hair even more of a tousled mess than usual, with a knife in his hand. “Oh, it’s you.” He sounded tired and confused.

Andrew clicked his tongue as he leaned against the wall. “Really? I let you stay here and you repay me with blood on the carpet? How rude.”

Josten’s face grew flushed as he glanced at the knife then hid the hand holding it behind his back. “Uhm, I… what are you doing back?”

That wasn’t a denial that he hadn’t planned on stabbing someone, how interesting. “Change of plans.”

“Oh.” Something like disappointment flashed across Josten’s face for a moment and then he summoned up a weak smile. “Give me a minute to get my stuff and I’ll be out of your way,” he said before he turned around to go into the bedroom.

As if acting on its own, Andrew reached out to grab onto the loose sleeve of Josten’s t-shirt; he didn’t know who was more surprised, him for not being stabbed or Josten by the action. “You don’t have to leave,” Andrew said, his voice rough for some reason.

Josten frowned for a moment but didn’t pull away – in fact he remained still but didn’t seem tense or upset about Andrew’s nearness. “But you let me stay here because you’d be elsewhere. Now that you’re here, I’ll go.” That damn lopsided smile appeared as Josten nodded toward the front door. “There’s always your car, right?”

“Stay,” Andrew ordered as he let go. “Kevin changed his sheets, don’t let such a monumental effort be for nothing.”

Josten gave him an intent look as he sheathed the switchblade. “It won’t bother you, me being here?”

Oh, now that was a loaded question. “You snore?”

“No.”

“Then get back to bed.” He met Josten’s searching gaze with a blank one of his own until the rookie finally did as he’d been told.

Feeling drained all of a sudden, Andrew went into the bathroom to get ready for the night, and was pleased to notice that Josten hadn’t left a mess when he’d used it; the towel he’d left out for him had been refolded and placed on the sink, the only sign that someone had been in there. Andrew didn’t waste any time before he went into the bedroom.

Josten was in Kevin’s bed, the duvet pulled up to his nose and his eyes closed, but somehow Andrew doubted that the kid was asleep. He took his time changing into cotton pants and a clean t-shirt for bed, and noticed that the duvet was tugged up even higher when he went to climb into his bed.

Interesting.

It should bother him, having a stranger in the room, but from all appearances, Josten had obeyed the ‘don’t touch anything’ rule since nothing but the towel had been out of place, and had been willing to give up his warm bed for Andrew’s comfort. As much as he hated to admit that Aaron may be the slightest bit right….

Fuck.

Tomorrow, he told himself as he contemplated smothering himself with the pillow. Tomorrow he’d deal with this… whatever with Josten. Neil. With the improbable pipedream faking sleep a couple yards away.

At least his fucked-up hormones knew enough to fall for a pipedream who had good tastes when it came to picking cars to break into, he consoled himself right before falling asleep.

*******

I have WAY TOO MUCH of a backstory built for this, obviously. Nicky never worked at Eden’s, just Aaron and Andrew during summer breaks, so he never got beat up and Andrew put on drugs. That meant he could leave to go back to Germany, but not before he put some extra effort into making the twins get along better (a LITTLE easier to do since Andrew wasn’t on meds). Kevin went to Wymack, not the Nest, when his mother died. There’s still some Moriyama drama going on - Riko gave him grief for not going to E.A. for university, and for recruiting Andrew, which is why Andrew is watching out for Kevin (Riko tried to pull a stunt when Andrew turned down E.A, but Kevin had warned him beforehand that something might happen, so Andrew feels something is owed and refuses to let Riko win).

And of course, Neil ended up in the foster system - Mary and Nathan killed each other one night instead of her running away, and the Feds gave him a new name and put him in the system. While not the horror that Andrew endured... it wasn’t good, especially w/ the Feds shuffling him around all the time.

Uhm, think that’s the main stuff.

Anyway, @filteredred, I hope you liked it!

Three more to go, since this week is probably going to be really busy, I’m going to try to work on them and not Ghost in You (I FINALLY finished ch14), and then get back to that story.

[aftgficlibrary]

Hi! I would like to rec, “i'll let you off with a warning,” by jemejem. It’s a cute Kevin/Seth au where Seth is a graffiti artist and keeps getting hauled into Wymack’s police department while Kevin is there. It’s part of a series of Sethvin stories. Thank you!

thanks for the rec-Halley

i'll let you off with a warning by jemejem (G | 1,392 | 1/1)

The first time Seth was brought in, he was sat by detective David Wymack’s desk and given a stern talking to. He almost rolled his eyes: He’d never been caught for all the graffiti he’d done under the main Palmetto bridge, but as soon as the cameras caught him carving dicks into his shitty headmaster’s desk he was brought in and sat down by the stoic man stood in front of him.

(A prompt from my tumblr)

[tntwme]

9 People You Would Like to Get to Know Better

Thanks for the tag @rainbow-0bsidian for tagging me - I just finally got my account back from being hacked, so I have a lot to catch up on!

3 ships - Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten, Oxnard Matheson and Joe Bennett, Violet Sorrengail and Xaden Riorson

1st ever ship - Oh hell, I'm so old we didn't call it shipping back then, there wasn't even a name for it....probably Janey and Jeff in Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Last song/album - I've been on a Two Steps From Hell kick lately, the whole album is *chef's kiss*

Last movie - Barbie movie. Work friend and her sister wanted to see it a dragged me along; I actually enjoyed myself throughout the whole film.

Currently reading - Jade City by Fonda Lee, Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross, re-reading House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J Maas, re-reading The Tarot Sequence series by KD Edwards

Currently watching - been re-binge watching The Office lately. Just finished all of House.

Currently consuming - tons of my old favorites on AO3...I still need to dive into Red Rabbits for the first time. Spent a chunk of the beginning of the year reading BIOMY from beginning to end, so I'm current with that one and love reading the new chapters as they are posted (and it's almost over!).

Currently craving - the will to stick to a workout routine

Tagging: @paradoxolotl, @nina-reads1804, @foxsoulcourt, @filteredred, @scribbleb-red, @sig66, @yourficstheyglow, @pomponia, @sirfatcat-mccatterson

9 People You Would Like to Get to Know Better

Thanks for the tag @artsyunderstudy, sorry it’s been a hot minute, I couldn’t figure out how to copy paste from my phone.

3 ships - Will Darling/Kim Secretan, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten

1st ever ship - Em and Dex, Dex and Em, from One Day, by David Nicholls. Was i in any kind of fandom then? Is there even a One Day fandom?? Did I even know fandom was A Thing??? No, no and no. Did I love them in all their messy glory and with all my heart? You bet I did.

Last song/album -The Very Best of Cat Stevens

Last movie - Red, White & Royal Blue. Was meant to have a rewatch party with @midnightbluskies today but alas- LIFE

Currently reading - The Darkness Outside Us, by Eliot Schrefer; Lonely Castle in the Mirror, by Mizuki Tsujimura; Coping with Grief, by Mal McKissock. Just finished Watford Wonderland by @otherworldsivelivedin on ao3

Currently watching - nothing! Did I mention LIFE? Am looking forward to OFMG s2 tho

Currently consuming - Safe Harbor by @snowbaz-parentis on ao3

Currently craving - a pain free chest and a full nights sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Tagging @flightspathfic @paradoxolotl @penpanoply @henreyettah @urban-sith @kaaamiya @jaydreams @tntwme212 @chibichococloud123 cuz regardless if I know you I’m deeply curious about your current consumptions and desires.

[error404-welp]

10. Your favourite book quote ?

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.

- T.E. Lawrence

[badacts]

filteredred replied to your post “this is going to make me sound old, but i’m a big facebook user. i’m...”

I have never heard of this video. Does that make me young or ill informed?

it makes you lucky, don’t watch it babe

[batnbreakfast]

[gluupor]

filteredred replied to your chat: Me: I have to get these two fics finished before...

What are you working on for Nano?

It’s a seeeeeeecret! 😛 Nah, I’m kidding. It’s a long, angsty, slow burn andreil au that I don’t want to say too much about in case I change my mind about what I’m doing.

[manic-andrew]

Aftg asks: Aaron and exy

oH HELL YEAH thank u

aaron: ok long story but I have two half-sisters from different parents. bit of an age gap with both, I'm in the middle. I get along best with the younger (never lived with the other) and she has been labeled "my conscience" before lmao,, it's relatively accurate. i lived separate from her for years though and would have...killed...to have had a brother during that time

exy: I hATE watching [most?] sports. so boring. but I played volleyball in high school and was a very active kid... I'd play anything. I have a bad knee nowadays though

[mistykaru]

filteredred reblogged your photo and added:

OP, may I ask how tall you are, since you used...

I’m 5′5″/165cm which i figured would be fine since i imagine neil as being more leg than me so