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radioactivepeasant · 4 months ago

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Snippets: Jak and Daxter

Loosely based on the song "God Games" from Epic: the Musical

It would have been so easy to leave. The subrails were right there. They could just step in, find out how far onto the mainland it went. It should have been so easy.

So why couldn't Jak do it?

"Uh...Jak?"

Daxter waved a hand in front of his face.

"Earth to Jak! What's the holdup, buddy?"

Just step down. That's all you have to do. It's so simple, Jak, why can't you do this one simple thing?

Jak stared at the tunnels for the space of three breaths.

And then he took a step

Backwards.

"Jak?" Concerned, Daxter leaned around to examine his expression. "What's the matter? C'mon, don't you want to get out of here?"

Shame slithered up his throat, but it couldn't stop the confession from slipping out.

"...no."

Dumbfounded, Daxter scurried to Jak’s other shoulder.

"No?! After how long it took to get down here, you wanna go back? We ain't gettin' a warm welcome, you know that, right?"

"I...can't leave. Not like this." Jak took another step back, then another.

"They'll think we're just, just weaklings who ran back to Haven because they couldn't cut it."

"They don't gotta know we went to Haven!"

"Dax, we barely escaped getting kicked out as it is! I- I can't go AWOL right now, what would Damas think of us?"

That was the wrong thing to ask. The ottsel's fur puffed up, and he bared surprisingly sharp teeth.

"He didn't think we could cut it anyway!" Daxter snarled, "Who cares what he thinks?"

But he knew the answer before he'd even finished the question. It was that sickening guilt in Jak’s eyes that drove it home.

I do.

Even after the man turned on them, called Jak "newcomer" like he didn't belong, Jak still wanted his approval? Daxter didn't understand.

But then, he'd never understood why Jak couldn't see right through Samos, either.

"I...I want to talk to him. Before anything else."

Jak prayed for some kind of perfect sentence or phrase to explain to Daxter why he needed to go back, but none were forthcoming.

Jak swallowed and added, "Sig should know about these tunnels anyway."

Daxter grimaced, but relented. "Fine. Fine. But I am not talking to Sandspurs unless he has one heck of an apology waiting."

No one was waiting in the vehicle pit. In fact, no one seemed to notice them come in at all. Jak told himself that was better, that he didn't have to explain himself if there were no witnesses. It didn't keep the whisper out of the back of his mind.

They wouldn't miss you if you left. They'd barely notice.

They were almost all the way past the forges when someone called out to them. Jak almost ignored them. But-

"Hey kid, you okay?"

But that wasn't a question he was usually asked.

Jak turned with a questioning expression to the gunsmith. He looked oddly concerned.

"You didn't show up yesterday. We were startin' to wonder a little. You didn't breathe in any of that gas, did you?"

Jak looked away.

"No."

"Good." The smith shook his head. "Poison gas-! They've never done that before. Sorry kid. Damas wouldn't have sent you out there if he knew."

"What would he have done?"

Jak didn't mean for it to come off aggressive. But he was just...tired. Tired of everything always happening to him. Tired of everyone else always having excuses.

If he heard the anger under the words, the gunsmith didn't let on. He picked up his tongs and shrugged as he got back to work.

"First offense, and you're a cadet- no, wait, two amulets, you're a scout. So scouts on punishment detail get either the 'pede larva cleanup or manual fishing net repair. Cadets have to clean the stables for three days."

Punishments that actually made sense?

Jak needed to talk to Damas. And at the same time, he did not want to talk to Damas.

At the elevator, Jak paused awkwardly.

"Da- Daxter? Can I- um. Can I do this...myself? If- if it goes south, I don't want you in the crossfire."

"If it goes south, you'll need me watching your six," Daxter retorted. But he reluctantly agreed.

Damas wasn't there, and that was somehow worse than finding him on that throne, glaring down at the intrusion. The water wheels creaked and groaned in an otherwise unnaturally silent chamber. Jak almost lost his nerve. What if Damas really didn't believe he belonged in Spargus? What was he going to have to do to prove him wrong?

Jak paced the lowest stair for several minutes, trying to rehearse his question. Trying to plan for every worst case scenario. If Damas got angry and threw him out, did they have a place to go? If Damas just shut him down, did he want to defy him again?

He didn't hear the elevator lowering down the shaft again. He didn't even notice it coming back up until it locked into place loudly.

Jak paused mid-step. His eyes flicked over to the elevator, but he didn't turn.

Damas was staring at him.

He didn't look angry, he looked surprised.

"I...did not expect to see you this soon," said the king in lieu of a greeting.

Jak couldn't quite make himself turn to face him.

"Why?"

"Ah." Damas sounded chagrined. Almost pained. "Because I...did not handle the debacle two days ago very well. I wouldn't have blamed you for wanting to put some distance between us. I put you and Sig in harm's way because I failed to fully read the artifact runners' brief."

Sounded like what the smith had said. Like Damas hadn't known about the poison gas.

"So you...weren't trying to kill me."

Damas’s ears stood almost straight up, and his shoulders stiffened.

"What? No! No, I wasn't trying to kill you!"

Jak nodded, but kept his eyes on the stairs and resumed pacing.

"Had to make sure."

Damas took the long way to the throne, along the outer edges of the pools. He didn't speak, letting the oppressive thickness of the air settle over them again. When he'd almost disappeared behind date palms in ceramic planter pots, Damas stopped to look out the windows, down to the sea.

"Is that why you came?"

"No."

"I see."

Jak thought he imagined a hint of hope in Damas’s voice.

"I don't have any work for you."

Damas glanced back down at him.

"It's not because of the...incident, you understand. You've just come after work has already been assigned for the day."

Jak glanced up. "I know."

courage. You can do this. And even if you can't, you have to.

"Well," the king sighed, "if you're here to lambast me with Sig for taking things too far, you just missed him."

Taking things too far. That was certainly...simplifying things. Jak clenched his fists and forced down acid in his throat. Don't get angry. Don't let him get under your skin. Remember why you're here.

Jak folded his arms across his chest and watched Damas’s face carefully.

"I...needed to- to ask...you. For something."

It was like pulling teeth to get even that out.

Damas turned immediately, eyebrows raised.

"It's not like you to ask for favors. Or help. What happened?"

He couldn't outright say that he'd met with Ashelin Praxis. Damas would probably shoot him on the spot.

"Got a call out there from-" Jak paused. "From a friend still stuck in Haven. It's- there's barely any city left. People I still care about are in danger."

"And?" Damas asked coolly.

Clenched fists and gritted teeth. Jak had to fight to force out the words.

"And I'm a- asking. You. For- for permission to go back."

Any pretense of calm fled Damas in an instant. His eyes darkened, and there was a promise of danger in his stride as he came to the edge of the dais.

"You're what."

"Just until they're safe. Just until I can destroy the new metalhead nest."

Damas flung out an arm as if gesturing to the offending city.

"You're asking me to allow you to leave Spargus, to give aid to our enemies. You want me to deal with Haven again. You want to go back to the people who betrayed you, again."

"If Haven falls, Spargus is next!" Jak argued.

"Spargus is not weak like Haven!" Damas snapped. "I had thought you had been among us long enough to know that by now."

"Apparently not, since I'm just the newcomer who doesn't deserve mercy!" Jak shot back.

He felt a tiny twing of guilt for throwing the words back in Damas’s face when the king lurched back like he'd been struck. But Jak couldn't stop now.

"The metalheads will raze Haven to the ground. Everything Mar built, they'll have access to. Even the subrails to the temple."

"The what?" Damas asked softly, almost threateningly.

"There are catacombs under the temple." Jak gestured sharply. "Daxter and I found them last night. Oracle says they have a subrail that goes right to Haven. How long do you think that's going to stay hidden if the city goes down?"

"We will fortify the temple." Damas turned away to march to his throne.

"You will remain in the city."

As he sat, he leveled a harsh glare at the boy.

"I strongly recommend that you heed instructions this time. I prefer not to revoke your gate pass."

Keira's life was on the line. Tess's life was on the line. And Damas was going to confine him to the city out of spite. Fury rattled in Jak’s lungs and loosened his tongue.

"I almost left," he growled at the king, "I almost went anyway without telling you."

Be grateful I told you anything at all ran unspoken under the statement.

"Then why didn't you?" Damas challenged him.

"You already think I haven't earned a place here yet. Well I'm not going to prove you right."

Jak's anger didn't burn hot enough to evaporate the lump in his throat. He should have known it would be useless.

"Jak-"

"This was a mistake." Jak turned his back on the dais and throne and stormed down the pathway.

"Shouldn't have asked."

He heard Damas stand in a rush, but ignored him. Why did he think this would go in his favor? Stupid. Stupid to hope.

"Stop."

He didn't.

Damas’s voice rose, bouncing off stone and water.

"Put one foot in that elevator and I put this tower on lock down."

He probably thought Jak was going to go to Haven to spite him. Jak weighed his options before pivoting on his heel to glare at Damas.

"What."

Damas was pretty fast for a man in armor. He had one arm outstretched like he'd been about to grab Jak by the collar. He settled a hand on Jak’s channeling ring -- not pulling, not yet. Just keeping him from leaving.

"You. Belong. Here," Damas said sharply.

"Not in Haven. Do you not know a trap when you hear one?"

You belong here.

Don't crack.

Jak cursed the catch in his voice. "You dropped everything to send rescue missions after just four scouts. You can't ask me to leave my friends behind enemy lines after that. Either you're a hypocrite, or I'm just doing what you taught me to do."

If Damas wasn't angry before, he probably would be now. Jak knew he shouldn't have called him a hypocrite point blank. Damas’s face went still, expressionless. His fingers tightened around the channeling ring, but his face was blank.

Jak closed his eyes.

"Sorry," he grunted.

"Convince me."

"What?"

Damas leaned closer.

"If this is that important to you, you'll have to convince me. You find five Wastelanders willing to go with you or support your mission, and I will consider letting you go."

Five?! Jak wasn't sure he could fine one!

"And if I don't?" he asked warily.

"Then you don't leave home, simple as that." Damas released him and stepped back.

"You have one day."

#fic prompts #writing prompts #jak and daxter #dadmas #king damas #jak and daxter au #free day Thursday #epic the musical #local wastelander family fails at communicating more at eleven #Jak is Trying guys. He's trying to Communicate #but Damas is in 'never tell anyone my past' mode and Jak has zero context for why he's flipping out #the cadet and scout thing is because i wanted a way for Wastelanders to differentiate candidates by the number of amulets #count your lucky stars Damas. He could've just run away from home for three weeks and called you when he got back #this would probably end with Damas telling Sig he doesn't want to lose Jak #and Sig warning Damas that if something happens to their friends because he wouldn't let Jak leave he *will* lose him

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gaoau · 6 months ago

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hey, are you still here?

it's hard to get through the night when haunted by distorted afterimages.

pairing — yatonokami nayuta x reader word count — 2.4k

this is cruel, you think, although you shouldn't be all that surprised. you've let nayuta's softness trick your brain, but both yatonokami twins have always been blunt and vicious. you know kanata isn't trying to hurt either of you—ignorance really is bliss in moments like these, with a cheap copy of nayuta on your lap. maybe you should say something; it's been long enough by now. you choose to stay quiet, running your fingers through nayuta's hair and foolishly hoping to find a semblance of warmth again.

you wish kanata would stop doing this.

the hand holding onto yours feels like the chilly burn of a ghost. you grip it a little tighter, deathly afraid it will disappear again. it would be so much better if it disappeared. it looks and fits in yours just like nayuta, but you can only delude yourself so much. this is not nayuta; this prickly, empty shell that his brother has made is only one hollow side of him. you can hardly even bear to look at it.

nayuta—or whatever this is—shifts on your lap, turning his head to look up at you. "i was falling asleep…" he grumbles, words a quiet, sleepy mumble. you have to keep yourself from grimacing at him. the echo of his voice in the room, artificial but familiar, makes you want to rip your eardrums out.

you hum, blinking down at him curiously. "sorry, did i do something?"

"you're squeezing too tight."

he unravels his fingers from yours and you understand he's asking you to let go. a half-hearted apology slips from your lips. you lean your head back against the wall, sighing to yourself. you'd squeeze his neck tighter if your mind were just a bit stronger.

the more you pray kanata would stop doing this, the more you have to remind yourself he's blameless. it's lacking, it's cold, it's not real, but it's the only thing you have now. it's your fault and your fault only for letting a fabricated ghost haunt you.

"why'd you…" Nayuta spoke up in the silence. a yawn cut his words off before he tried again, "why'd you stop?" he rolled over on your lap to gaze up at you with bleary eyes. the pout on his lips made you giggle quietly as he squeezed your hand in his.

"stopped what?"

he turned to hide his face against you. "playing with my hair…" his voice reached you in a muffled mutter, getting lost in the fabric of your shirt. then he sighed, "keep doing that, it feels nice."

you chuckled to yourself. a half-conscious Nayuta was always an endearing sight to behold. "i thought you were asleep already."

"i was," he whined, as if you were cruel for only showing affection when he was awake. his grip tightened around your hand again. "but you stopped touching me and it bothered me."

"okay, okay, i hear you." you laughed softly, but went back to raking your fingers through his hair as requested. his eyes fluttered closed on instinct, and he couldn't help leaning into your touch. an amused grin pulled on your lips as Nayuta dozed off completely. this time, you only stopped when you fell asleep as well.

soft, familiar chuckles and fraternal banter echo across the apartment. you're used to this; idle chatter during dinner, the clatter of chopsticks as kanata slips his vegetables into nayuta's bowl, jokes and laughter to accompany a rare homecooked meal. your food is growing cold in your hands. you're not hungry—not when there's a sinking feeling in your stomach as you watch the insanity in front of you unfold tonight as well.

it's ridiculous, you think, that you willingly lit up the stove to make dinner because a mirage in the light said it was hungry. you were never good at saying no to nayuta. it doesn't matter if it's real or a cruel imitation, as long as it's his face, you can only manage to sigh and nod your head. you knew it'd be a waste to make three portions, but you did it anyway.

(part of you feels even worse knowing this was subconsciously kanata's request.)

you can't tear your eyes away from nayuta, scanning up and down, again and again. his snickers and his small smiles, the way he holds his chopsticks, and all the tiniest mannerisms he's missing to make him real. you hear his voice surrounding you from all angles like it used to do every night. you wish you could feel that same warmth it evoked.

a sigh tumbles from your lips as you give up. you set your chopsticks down, trying to look away. nayuta catches you. "do i have something on my face?" you're quiet and you're simply staring at him. you're not usually this absent.

it takes you a moment, but you snap out of it. you blink repeatedly, eyes wide, almost recoiling at his words. you throw a glance towards kanata—as much as you try not to blame him, this is uncalled for. you breathe in deeply, shaking your head. "no, sorry. i'm just not hungry." you move to stand on your feet as you speak. "i wanna go home."

"okay." even with how artificial he is, nayuta still looks up at you and smiles. "thanks for the food." it aches deep inside your temples. you can only nod your head, looking away, biting your tongue.

kanata chimes in, "yeah, thanks." he doesn't turn towards you. he stuffs his mouth with the meal you made for nayuta. "be careful on your way back, it's late."

your nails dig into the skin of your palm. oh, what a responsible older brother he is. although you try not to, you can't help but throw a vicious glare at him. you hum, because kanata isn't the best at this, but he's doing what he can. he's not to blame—you're the one who keeps coming back here. your fingers grow numb in the cold as you walk home alone.

Nayuta nudged you with his elbow, tilting his head to find your eyes. quietly, he called, "[Name]," with that soft, nonchalant tone of his that only held warmth to you. he'd noticed your lost gaze and your untouched bowl. "you good?"

you startled slightly, tuning back in when you heard his voice. with his attention on you, Kanata managed to slip his tofu into Nayuta's bowl. you chuckled, "yeah. yeah, i'm good." a smile tugged at your lips as you nodded, but you set your chopsticks down anyway.

he didn't like that one bit. his eyes flickered between your face and your food. "you aren't eating." there was a pout on his face, and even if you couldn't see it, you would have heard it in his inflections. he leaned closer, pressing you with his expression. "are you feeling okay?"

"don't worry 'bout me." you laughed quietly, stretching to bring focus back into your body. a yawn made you almost choke on your spit. you patted him on the knee to reassure him. "i'm just tired. i think i'll head home."

"you can stay, we don't mind."

"i mind," came Kanata's grumble.

it sent you into a fit of giggles. you rolled your eyes, sitting up on your knees. "it's fine, i'll get out of your hair." you brushed Nayuta's bangs off his forehead to kiss him on the temple, a little too loud just so you could spite his brother. (he cringed.)

amused snickers and chuckles echoed across the room as you stood up, maneuvering around both twins. Kanata stuck his foot out to trip you and you hopped away to stick your tongue out at him. as the three of you laughed, Nayuta set his bowl down to follow after you.

he reached his hand out for you and you knew instantly to pull him to his feet. "it's late, i'll walk you home," is all he declared, because leaving anyone to walk around the slums at night was more than a danger. although you could handle yourself, he much preferred sticking by your side to make sure you blended in safely.

throwing your coats on, he tugged on your sleeve. you left Kanata with a wave before heading out the door, letting Nayuta drag you outside into the cold. he always enjoyed late night walks with your hand in his.

it's warmth without a shape clinging onto you, an artificial breath blowing against your neck. this is terrible. it holds you tightly with its arms around your waist and you wonder if this disembodied heat is part of the illusion or simply your brain chasing down fading comfort. you're wide awake, lying in a futon with a ghost that tries to steal what's left of your sanity.

this is horror.

you refuse to let go either way. there's peace of mind in hugging your own grief with a grip so vice you'd cut off nayuta's blood circulation. but this is not nayuta, so it doesn't matter—not how tangible he is, nor how much it stings. the hallucination in your arms will disappear eventually as well. you've noticed it in the way kanata talks to him, and as much as you dread the moment it vanishes into thin air, nayuta is staying with you for now. it's the best you can do.

you wish kanata would stop doing this already. you wish you could help him stop doing this. you wish you would stop doing this already.

it hurts, but it's all you have left. you've considered snapping its neck a billion times in your dreams. your fingers curl like you might be able to crush him in the palm of your hand.

nayuta pulls away from you, tilting his head to look you in the eye. the moonlight drapes over his face with a faint glow that makes him seem translucent in the night. "you're really stiff," he mumbles quietly in an exasperated complaint.

"oh, sorry." you're not sincere in your apologies anymore. how long has it been? you glance behind him towards kanata. he's facing away in his own futon. a tight smile pulls on your lips as you refuse to look at nayuta. "i was… having a nightmare."

"awake?" his tone makes you wonder why you even bother.

you sigh, "yeah," and pull him back against your chest so you don't have to see him. for a moment, you consider pressing a soft kiss to his head. instead, you hide your face in his hair. "you were leaving…"

"ah. i'm not going anywhere." it stings. somehow, nayuta tightens his grip around you. these are words you shouldn't be hearing from an illusion. then, he speaks just a little more clearly, "you and kanata should really talk to each other some more."

you feel your heart sink. it's like having a child bawling in your ears. you're so exhausted of dealing with a problem you don't want to solve yet. you wish this would all stop already, but you don't think you could handle it if it did.

with one shaky breath, you close your eyes. maybe if you squeeze him tight enough, he'll be real again. "i'm working on it," you tell lies to a lie. you're working on it. "come on, go back to sleep. you must be tired."

nayuta hums in response. it really does sting, though only just a bit.

the pestering vibration of your alarm made you stir awake, groaning as you reached under your pillow to shut it off. with a heavy sigh, you practically pried your eyes open to look at your phone. your room was dark—way too dark to be the morning. the moment you processed Nayuta's name on the screen, you frowned in the haze of your sleep.

you answered the call without hesitation. it wasn't rare for him to call in the middle of the night, but there was a sinking void in your stomach trying to eat you up from the inside out. "Nayuta, hey. what's…?" you managed to speak up half a sentence before a yawn cut you off.

Nayuta sighed to himself on the other side of the phone. your voice sounded hoarse and exhausted, and it made him reconsider his choices for a moment. he wished he hadn't kept things from you and everyone else. "hey, sorry to wake you up…" he heard you hum to let him know you were listening. nothing he did ever bothered you. "i just wanted to let you know i gotta… take care of some things."

"this late?"

"yeah, we probably won't see each other for some time."

the silence lasted a little longer than Nayuta could handle. you were so trusting, no matter how little or how much he shared. "that's okay." he could hear the smile on your face and the rustling of your bedsheets. "if you're in trouble, just tell me, though. i'll help out, you know that." he could hear how, despite knowing this would haunt you, you'd forgive him a million times over.

"don't worry, i'll be okay." he wished he could have found another way out of this; something that didn't require hurting so many people at the same time. the ache in his arm was growing stronger by the second. as much as he wanted to stay on the phone with you all night, he had to let you go quickly. "i gotta go." his voice trembled, only slightly.

you noticed. deep in the back of your mind, you knew something was off. the wind blew into his microphone, although he'd never told you about his favorite spot on this rooftop. you worried, of course, but you trusted Nayuta enough not to push for details. if he didn't want you to see, then you had nothing to see. maybe your patience was wrong, maybe your distance was wrong, maybe you were wrong—maybe Nayuta was wrong, and yet you'd still trust his choices every time.

you were so sure one day you would be able to laugh such baseless concerns off.

even if he couldn't see you, you nodded your head and smiled. "okay, take care," you spoke softly, almost in a plea.

"good night, [Name]."

"good night, Nayuta."

—あごす (agosu) • 2023

#hey are you still here #yatonokami nayuta #paradox live #nayuta yatonokami x reader #paradox live x reader #do a flip #“this is horror” —sake #i love yatonokami nayuta i wish the voices were real #wrote this while listening to the fnaf hw nightmare mode theme #can you tell #pararai

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