#but i was just having fun w the mechanical nonsense

[scatterbrainedbot]

the trouble with being the one who survives is you must keep on doing it

inspired directly by @onionninjasstuff 's heart wrenching comic of Future Donnie's death (read it!!)

[hua-fei-hua]

i understand why the characters in yu-gi-oh monologue abt what their cards do and shit now

[usuibu]

Omg!!! I live ur writing so much! The way you write eren is like literally perfect!! I was wondering if I could request reader walking home or at a party or just like out somewhere and they notice some people making her uncomfy and they cal eren to pick them up? Some fluff and comfort are my coping mechanism 😭

LMAO STOP THE COPING MECHANISM IS SO REAL💀💀 and ofc bb thankyou so much for the request i love you😋🥰

Im just gonna work off the whole saviour dynamic w eren and hopefully u dont mind

——————

More requests/masterlist

You don’t know why you’re here, you really should’ve just stayed home if only Mikasa hadn’t dragged you out.

“Cmonnnn it’ll be fun, I promise! Even Sasha’s coming!”

You really shouldn’t have listened to her, right now she’s - God knows where - with Sasha playing some obscure drinking game while you’re here sitting on the leather couch already intoxicated yourself.

You felt gross. Sticky even from the sweaty, crowded living room, humidity suffocating you. There was about 5 people on this couch made to fit only 2, you sat there staring down at your stupid sore feet in your stupid stupid heels with stupid strangers grazing your bare legs next to you.

The noise of the room tuned out as your tipsy brain was half conscious until you were snapped back into reality feeling a creeping hand on your shoulder.

Whoever was next to you was apparently speaking for long enough that you don’t know what they’re on about, “— or we could go back to my apartment..”

Your head snaps back up and you anxiously shrug off this guys tacky hand, sobering up just a little bit. Enough to start comprehending things.

“Sorry, I have to go” you say while peeling yourself off the leather, you don’t know where you have to go you just knew to leave because clearly you weren’t functioning well alone.

You turn and almost begin walking away until you almost trip on your stupid heels, this guys hand had gripped your arm rather too harshly to pull you right back onto the couch.

“Hey we were in the middle of something” he slurs, clearly a little more intoxicated than you.

You’re still so lost, why the fuck is he still talking? Why is this room is so hot? This couch is too sticky. His breath smells like shit. Your feet hurt like shit. You’re so tired all you want to do is leave at this point. All of your senses have been overwhelmed you can’t take it.

He continues to ramble nonsense again so you settle to tune it out again, unsure if your feet have the strength to even walk away and give resistance against this random ass guy if he tries anything worse.

You pull out your phone from your unpractically tiny bag and open your messages.

23:16 — Eren

Erenb

Yes this is erenb

Can gou pixk me up

How drunk are you💀

Honestly nor that nuch this tine

Thid guys bortherijf me hurry up ples😋

This guy??

What’s going on?

Donr asknme idek myslef💀💀 hes jusr weirdinf me out

Im coming dw mika sent me the address earlier

Otw

He didn’t lie when he said he’d be quick, honestly Eren was waiting for you to return from the party. He got too bored sitting in your apartment alone watching tv.

You get a call and immediately shoot up knowing Erens arrived. You’re still too drunk to process whatever this guy was doing.

You think he’s following behind you? Who knows? You get out the front door with a cool breeze hitting you. It’s much quieter out here which would be nice if this guy wasn’t still trying to pursue you even after a good ten minutes of radio silence from you.

You feel your body sigh with relief as you spot Eren’s car, you make eye contact with him through the front window smiling. You can slightly see how he grins at your drunken walk in your painful heels until your vision spins to face the guy.

His hand was now on your shoulder and before you knew it Eren was getting out of his car. Whoever this man was he was clearly upset?? Clearly drunk and clearly mad at you. He’s rambling and you still don’t want to listen, hes saying something about you not mentioning you had a boyfriend or anything along those lines?

All you knew is that he was mad, you could feel it in his inebriated grip on your shoulder. Then you start to feel the alcohol coming back up you’re system as his other hand creeps to hold your waist. “Cmon ditch your boyfriend”

Before you can get a word of disgust out you feel familiar arms save you from this repulsive guys hold. Eren shoves his chest as he drunkenly stumbles backwards.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eren spits out as his arm ushers you to stand a little behind him. He isn’t really one for violence when it’s a complete stranger. He has better things to do than that.

He can tell he’s drunk and after a few nonsensical sentences pour out the guys mouth; Eren’s done eyeing him down with demise so he walks you back to his car while the guy drags himself back to the party.

“Are you alright?” He questions you while rubbing his hand against your arms to warm you up as much as he can walking down the party’s front yard.

“Yeah I’m alright now at least, thank you Eren”

“That guy looked fucking homeless”

You softly smile to yourself, at ease in Eren’s presence. Half the grossness you felt in that stupid party had already began dissolving.

The drive home was quiet, calm. You were dozing off in the passenger seat while you held his free hand in you lap. His thumb swept back and forth until you arrived home. He reaches behind into the back seat, you’re too hazy to question why really. Eren bends over to take off your heels to then slide ur home slippers on.

“I don’t know why you wore those tonight, you know they hurt”

“I know right?!” You huff back at him. He laughs softly at your drunken state and gets out the car. He opens your car door to usher you out and puts his arm around you to help you walk to your apartment.

He lies you down on the couch and tells u to stay which you have no real trouble doing. He returns to the room holding one of his navy blue t-shirts and grey shorts.

“Okay baby, take off ur dress” he says gently.

“At least ask me to dinner first” you retort back. You snicker at your own joke but take off your dress all the same. He slips his shirt and shorts onto you then carries you to your bed effortlessly.

“You’re soo strong, do you have a girlfriend?” you giggle while feeling up his muscular arms. He only laughs at you and quickly leaves to grab something. He returns again, your micellar water in one hand and your toner in the other, “hey which one is the makeup thingy to take it off?” He questions, trying to communicate with whatever sober is left in you. You point to the micellar bottle and he wipes your face with it. The cool water and Eren’s delicate touch was extremely soothing. Although making you even more tired it did sober you up a little more.

Once he’s done, he puts everything down and climbs in bed next to you, pulling the blanket up, he moves you so that you’re on your side and pulls your knee toward him so that your leg is over his legs. He moves his arm to lie under your neck and pulls your whole body nearer with his free hand now on the small of your back.

You inhale deeply the scent of his chest and neck, now intoxicated by his musky scent while his hand slides up to bring your head nearer while he breathes deeply too, face shoved in the top of your head.

He moves to place a chaste kiss on your forehead.“You okay?” He asks, voice just above a whisper.

“Now I am, that guy was weird”, you murmur back still with a face full of chest.

“Yeah he was a fucking weirdo” Eren says, now speaking at a normal volume. “You’re not going alone to those parties anymore, I’m having a word with Mikasa trust”

You laugh at his seriousness and press a kiss to his collar bone, “No laughing I’m serious” he smiles, making space between you too to be able to kiss your collar bone too. He litters playful kisses on your neck. You laugh more while he roughly moves on top of you to only press more ticklish pecks all over you; intentionally smothering you.

You stop him by grabbing both sides of his head and bringing his lips to yours. You kiss him softly while he willingly returns it. He deepens the kiss with his tongue swiping your bottom lip until you open your mouth in the slightest, letting him slip it inside.

[ventiffy]

𝟣 𝐹𝒶𝓉𝓊𝒾 𝐻𝒶𝓇𝒷𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝟣 𝐻𝒸

Basically for each harbinger I give them 1 hc and yes it involves being a relationship w/ them, so basically romantic/fluff hcs. ( I also included The Tsaritsa because why not?)

warning: none, maybe just mention of romance and y/n anyways.(SLIGHT mention of experimentation and blood for Dottore!)

Capitano: He doesn't show his face because he has this massive scar that he doesn't like other people seeing. BUT, when he and his darling are alone. He will take of his mask if his s/o wants to see his face! ♡

Columbina: When her s/o can't sleep she'll hum them a melody in hopes that they fall asleep to it, if not, then she'll stay awake with them doing whatever her s/o wants to do. ♡

Dottore: He isn't afraid to mention all the horrible things he's done through his experimentation but, when his s/o enters the room he'll instantly change the subject if his lover isn't comfortable with blood. If they are then he'll talk about the less extreme ones to them. He doesn't want to scare them! ♡

Arlecchino: As said in my "harbinger as your pen-pals", she is very soft towards her s/o. She only shows this side of her to them, no one else. When her and her s/o argue she will never scream, like Dottore she doesn't want to scare them, so instead of screaming nonsense she'll try to calm her s/o down during these fights. Even sometimes when her s/o is feeling sad she'll give them small drawings of bunnies. (if you read the "Harbingers as pen-pals, you know why I chose bunnies.) ♡

Sandrone: She almost hates it when her s/o is in her lab, she doesn't want them to get hurt! The only thing she likes about them being there is that she gets to see them but, her lab is too dangerous for them. If you're a mechanic or interested in engineering, then she'll happily let you stay for a short period of time if she's not building any dangerous automatons. Maybe she'll teach them a thing or two about being a mechanic! ♡

Tartaglia: When he and his s/o go on a date, it's either going to be one a trip somewhere fun (amusement park for example) or just a place where they can go shopping or a trip to his home in Snezhnaya. When it's going to visit his family him and his s/o are always busy taking care of Childe s' younger siblings. Maybe going outside sometimes for a snowball fight or to just build a snowman. When there's a snowball fight Tartaglia always lets the younger ones win but after some time he won't be as nice (of course while not inuring anybody, he will just test the younger one s' skills!) ♡

Pierro: So like there's a theory that he's from Khaenri'ah.. What if he were to tell his s/o about his experiences there and all the interesting stories and events that happened to him when he was and lived there! I feel like he would definitely describe all the remarkable places of that region and maybe tell his s/o about all the myths and tales he's heard of! ♡

Pulcinella: ALRIGHT SO I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM SO, I don't really expect him to have a s/o but to just be that uncle that comes in when Tartaglia and his s/o (Tartaglia s' s/o) decide to go on a date elsewhere. I feel like he'd be the one taking care of the kids even though Ajax s' parents are still around just to yk, give a hand to the struggling parents.

Signora: No because she would definitely let he s/o borrow her things (mostly jewelry and clothes) like "oh, you need a top that matches your pants? Here take mine, it's perfect for you!" I feel like she'd also fix her s/o s' hair or basically anything that makes her get closer contact with her s/o. ♡

Pantalone: Like Signora, he will also let his s/o borrow his stuff like jewelry and more BUT, if he sees that his s/o is particularly asking for one item that they already asked for a lot of times. He will buy them a pair so that they cant match AND when they do wear it, I feel like he'd also wear his too even though it doesn't match his outfit. ♡

Scaramouche: SO if you read "Harbingers as pen-pals" then you will know I associated him w/ music. I feel like if his s/o is a musician he would love that, they don't even need to be musicians they just need to be able to play an instrument! I feel like together they would possibly play classical songs from Inazuma that he has learned to play when he was wondering around as Kunikuzushi! BUT, if his s/o does not play any instrument. He won't hold back to play Inazuman songs with his own instrument if it means that his s/o will be happy! ♡

The Tsaritsa: I hc her to be a very buys lady! But, she will always try to make time for her s/o. I hc her to always incite them to tea parties to which they will be the only guest (so it will only be her and her lover) I hc the place chosen for the tea party to be somewhat meaningful to her or to her s/o. I also hc it to be very pretty, maybe like an interior garden that her s/o loves? From there, they will chat about what ever her s/o is interested to talk about! Sometimes she'll bring up how she was in her Archon form! She will also talk about the Harbingers and her plans but, when she's with her s/o I hc her to only devote her attention to them and not thinking about other people who aren't her s/o. So, she won't talk much about the Harbingers AND I also hc her to not want her s/o to be affiliated with her troubles so she will only talk about her plans if her s/o is curious about them and decides to question her about it! ♡

[narwhalandchill]

(4.6 beta changes) (again) (guys this is so long im just. many thoughts and me thinking out loud abt arle and my pulling plans. & other nonsense etc. my bad)

ooookay so yeah def glad i didnt jump the gun and attempt some sorta "is this a buff or not" feelscrafting nonsense on arles adjustments jkwjkwdjkwdjkwdkjjk and waited for TC (mostly zajef lmao) analysis and opinion on the real changes that ended up happening

anyway so like. it appears to be an universal buff for her p much? but how big of a buff it ends up being depends on some mechanics we still dont have a definite answer as to how they function (mostly how her BoL stacking from E works during the ECAQECA reset thing, if it enables 140% total stacking = massive dmg buff overall)

firstly my fears of her becoming too ult dependent for overworld appear to be? not as bad as i thought? so thats nice at least very pog like if she can do her thing decently enough just for fun running around thats very good

secondly. the ER situation is literally on a 50-50 😭 because its all about whether she has particle ICD on her E. if she doesnt, thats actually like. 0 ER needed or at the very least incredibly little of it. if there is particle ICD. well. thats going to be another story

the way her rotations have changed now seem to gear her towards overload teams with chevy? since they have very long rotations and characters like fischl and yae can have full uptime over those whereas vape teams lose hydro application from yelan or XQ and buff uptime from characters like bennett over time when a rotation stretches past 24s

like from what ive been reading it seems to be a pretty common sentiment that these buffs will make the biggest impact in chevy overload teams specifically (even tho shes obvi buffed just in general in all teams) for that reason and that chevy teams Especially w her at c6 with arle should be the best bennettless teams ultimately. which is definitely an interesting turn ?

(and this isnt all of the changes btw im just talking abt the ones that matter most for my considerations rn)

anyway. my thoughts then.

so im obviously glad the changes turned out to be buffs so far. but. theres still stuff im a bit. ehhhhhhhh on

firstly the survivability situation (which in turn leads back to the teambuilding issues). bc her self heal did get nerfed. so arles no longer going to be able to risk taking very high dmg during a rotation and dragging herself back to full once the next one starts. which to me feels like an emphasis on dmg mitigation for her and shielding.

(not to even get started on the. spam NAs to reduce her now 30s E cooldown so its up in time for the next rotation meaning you Do Not want to be staggered and tossed out of her attack string. and gee would you look at that! neuvillette level interruption res on c1 now! great!!)

(like again. to be clear. its hard to say exactly how much interruptions to her NA spam will end up fucking her over. i could just be overtly wary about how bad it might feel. but at its worst. with enemies that run away from u or go invincible. or stunlock you. the fact that it will at least heavily risk arles ability to reduce her E cooldown the amount she needs for fluid rotations. could definitely end up feeling like shit to play in practice without that interruption resistance. be it from c1 or a shied)

but then if we go back to her synergies and look at. those more interesting (imo) chevy teams that should perform well even without bennett. like arle/chevy/fischl/yae. whos keeping ur arle from dying there 😭 its giving lyney spreadsheet impact vs actual reality trying to play him without a shield 😭😭 guess we know who he got it from...

and yea could replace yae for beidou for damage reduction but her dmg will TANK in single target. as a whole. defensive options list in pyro/electro units only just isnt that good. beidous the one who tanks team dps the least as long as ur in AoE, but outside of that its just. thoma and dehya. and they will 100% tank the team dps

whereas defensive options like zhongli to me feel like they will just end up w her teams just wanting to lean towards that. traditional vape and mono pyro angle. bennett and kazuha and yelan/XQ. the usual stuff. and shes not getting benny and kazuha from childe so we have an issue 💀💀

unironically i will prolly be looking for some double geo zhongli/chiori/yelan vape team calcs for arlecchino (hope someone makes them. all double geo team calcs ive seen so far assume bennett 😭) just out of curiosity in terms of. how much worse it is than her best teams. bc if i can just slap her in that setup its a big bonus to how flexibly i could use her but eh. prolly will end up weaker than any chiorinavia nation core i could play so who knows

but. all this yapping and im only now getting to the point JSWJKDWJKWDJK so. heres the BIG problem

i dont have a single fucking chevrolet 💀 but i do have like 38 pity on a guarantee.

and like people are suggesting that maybe chevy will be on arles banner and fair, especially with these new beta changes incentivizing arle chevy teams way more than before, it would definitely make sense for hoyo to put chevy with her. and i definitely am overall a fan of this possible chevy overload team direction for arle (anything thats not bennett for father. ANYTHING) so id love for that to be the case

but. thats not guaranteed at all. and the same sentiment i had over arlecchinos hypothetical best support in the form of the pyro archon (or honestly. with the lack of electro shielders for chevy teams even clorinde could end up being that missing piece) where id almost rather wait to guarantee that synergistic unit before getting arle herself on a rerun. actually applies to chevy here too. even just a c0 one

and like. yes. if i spend that guarantee now on c2 chiori. and it turns out chevy is indeed featured with arlecchino. i will Not be able to guarantee her anymore - ill get one 50-50 and all the chances for a few solid chevy copies on the way but thats it.

however. the other scenario here is that arle does NOT get chevy. she gets fucking. kaveh noelle mika. and then chevy is going to rerun with like. idk. random banner. clorinde who may or may not have synergy with arle

...and im not really sure if id even want to pick arle up on that guarantee from that sort of banner SJKDKJADJKDJK but ok id skip her. buuut im still sitting on a guarantee i might not want to use on a character i feel just eh abt. but who might be with chevy (and like. i do pull for 4* when im on a 50-50 and low pity, idm the early. so as long as thats the case i can see myself tossing a few pulls at Any chevy banner in the future).

... which brings us back to. okay yeah saving the guarantee for clorinde IF chevy isnt with arle and IF shes an electro shielder sub dps support for those arle chevy teams. and getting arle on rerun as ive considered. doesnt sound that bad. but clorinde might also Not be that. uncertainty uncertainty.

like im fairly sure clorinde Will be an unit i wont mind pulling at 17 pity xianyun style on a 50-50 no matter what. but if shes not that mythical arle BiS support she prolly wont be worth that guarantee is my whole complex here lmao

whereas. c2 chiori. isnt an uncertain factor here. like im investing in her im getting her c6 eventually, c2 is like almost 25% personal dps increase (also my husk pieces LOVE rolling ER so itd actually be useful) it feels like the "safe" option in a sense ya know???

like. yes id leave arlecchino up to a coin toss . (Jail for jen!! fake lesbian!!!) but id also be left with the option of skipping her banner (if no chevy rateup to be clear) in favor of seeing whether she gains any synergistic units in the future and seeing how the various aspects of her kit that i do somewhat worry about end up panning out ?? and i think. id be fine with that ? Over the alternative

ultimately tho. im super happy arle got overall buffed and that at least some of my fears abt her kit changes were indeed unfounded, but some concerns still remain. its kinda wild and still sad to me that she went from an absolute 100% must pull character just bc its Her to like. curse of pyro on fielder idk if i Need this right now 😔😔 but i Will be getting her eventually!! no matter what

anyway have a sticker if u stuck around for all of my bullshit. this is literally just arle buff thoughts into gacha pulls stream of consciousness rambling 😭😭😭

[hastings727]

Fighting Games are a Bit Funny for Me

I had fighting games as a kid (smash brothers, soul calibur, tekken, cabinets at random arcades) but I never knew there was more than just mashing. The most I played was melee and soul calibur 2 on my gamecube and even then, I never bothered to look at the movelist (hell I probably didn't even know there was one) and I just played Link and the single player stuff. It was fun! Fast forward to 2013 and my dumb early 20s self having experienced competitive racing in Forza 4 and then the absolute brainrot that is league of legends. But the moment that Cloud 9 signed a smash player is when I smelled colors for the first time, because I realized that cute smash game I played as a kid had a fucking competitive scene for literally decades? So that blew my mind and *LETS JUST GO PAST ALL THE SMASH COMPETITIVE STUFF* Suffice to say I played smash 4 and a bit of melee for a time in my region. Then I watch EVO 2014 finals until 3am, find my local scene for traditional fighting games, and find the brainrot that is Skullgirls as my first fighting game. I will always love SG but the way it plays completely fucked me up for trying to play other fighting games because of how the game works. Fast forward AGAIN past all that wonderful nonsense of finding some of the best friends of my entire life and learning fighting games with them and Guilty Gear XRD drops and I eventually play it and find Faust, my first true fighting game love.

I had fighting game mains before but Faust was the true feeling of love. I loved his goofiness, the items, the random wild moments, the absolute INSANITY of it all. But then, my hubris. I am a sore loser, a sore winner, a sore everything. I took these games too seriously and all of my local friends have been playing fighting games since they were kids, and here my dumb ass is trying to beat them with less than half the experience. It was humiliating for me, and only for me because no one actually insulted or made fun of me, I basically ruined my own mental health.

Fast Forward again because in 2017 the twins were born and I basically had to stop alot of my life for a while. I play sparingly and mostly watch stuff because thats all you have time for as a parent to infants. Alot of games get rollback, I try Plus R and like it until the competitive tryhard brainrot ruins me because another friend who has more experience in these games beats me and I basically give up for a while. Strive drops, I cry about faust being different and play Anji. I play the game on and off for the next 3 years and mostly do other shit.

These days I'm actually very clear minded as I have largely ripped the competitive brainrot out of my head and play these games 110% for improvement and exploring my own ability to get good. I no longer care about the W, only in so much as it signifies that I've improved slightly. That clearheadedness has extended to other game genres I play like FPS' and MOBAs, but grinding competitive ladders is largely dead to me because I just, dont care about winning anymore. Strive is the closest to me in terms of "i grind ranked". But the only reason I do so is because the character levels up faster in the ranked towers than in the Park lol. And I like number go up. I also just, really enjoy strive. For all the work they put in to condense movelists, the characters all largely still do the same thing. I can say certain ones still feel like they need a bit of something (Testament feels like they need one of their old specials back, or some sorta trap mechanic to add to their fireballs and arbiter signs) But largely the game is successful in still allowing characters to do new things while still feeling like their old mechanics. IF you actually took the time to read my shit, wow thank you. You can find me on Strive as Revima and that is also my discord tag. I play Anji and Elphelt and I'm learning more characters for funzies. I also play a bit of SF6, 3rd strike, Vsav, and I'm learning jojos HTFT. I like improving now. I'm so happy I do because I dont want to go back to the brain rot.

[ranvwoop]

Uhhh seren Vwoop and um um the other guys from your ocs !!

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

(Do however many you want live I sent a bunch)

Hi Adam. Thanks for the asks sorry it took seven years (Three months)

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Vwoop: Pals. Pal time. It would not really pick specifics it feels so strongly all of the time anything positive (and, atp, any nice time that they have with their friends that doesn’t involve mortal peril) is their best memories. Seren: Definitely travelling. For some reason stuck in my head is a little anecdote of them and protoVwoop reconvening after checking out a small civilization, and nagging pVwoop after it had purchased some sort of MCYT paraphernalia. What do you mean trading cards are an investment and would sell well in Hypixel, we don’t even go to Hypixel?? Hypixel coins are worthless?? And he does not win the argument. But he remembers them fondly.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Vwoop: A nonanswer but specifically because it is not saying anything. It can always get worse ( ; ω ; ). Seren: Before he’d settle down, they were an adventurer along with protoVwoop. He thought that he’d found a dungeon, but it was the home of a part-dragon guy who was hibernating there. He was not very happy to see them. Seren was convinced that dragon-guy was trying to kill him (and Vwoop), but he wasn’t a very good fighter. (He wasn’t – he was trying to prove a point). He got pretty badly hurt, and still has magic-wither-related issues due to the injuries. (And then meeting this guy ended up facilitating everything else that ever went wrong with the latter half of his life and the disappearance of both Vwoops. And then they became neighbours.)

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Vwoop: Complicated. If it thinks too much about it it feels bad :(. Seren: I don’t know if he actually has parents. He might’ve just spawned in one day. Mnecraft rules.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Vwoop: I have incredibly complex emotions about my little guy . It’s my littlest guy atm. Because I am a sap I have such dear memories of being silly with my friends through it and getting to figure out fun and interesting relationships with all of their little guys. It is like a friend to me. This is not a straight answer of what I like mechanically, which would probably be that it just an endearing little guy and pretty believable, I think? Most of its traits kind of connect to like, a bigger core trait that it has, which are pretty much being inexperienced at life, ruled by its emotions, and a love for people. It’s pretty solid and consistent and I think I do a not bad job writing for it :]. Seren: I FEEL BAD FOR HIM I PUT HIM IN THE TORTURE LABYRINTH… He’s a horrible parental figure because he genuinely did not sign up for this. He thinks he can game the system (he is the only one who knows what system he’s even talking about) and is terrified of losing himself to Mine Craft Mechanics. It doesn’t matter though, because he has to do a full backtrack of his whole life philosophy to try and do necromancy, which doesn’t even work, in part because the guy he’s trying to necromance isn’t even dead. He’s just created some kid. And he can’t even have that, ‘cause it decides its not having any of his over-protective, paranoid nonsense. 

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Looks directly into the camera. Too much. I don’t draw Seren enough but I draw Vwoop plenty.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I can’t actually kill off any of my little guys because I’m way too soft and get too attached. They can die in, like, instances of them like death games and whatnot I’m not sensitive to that, but in their main continuities they r here for ever and ever. However there’s an honourable mention to protoVwoop, who I think is in some sort of a limbo state wandering underground searching after cDay. I think it got slowly transformed into something of an (in)human sculk shrieker to xe’s Literally Becoming The Warden. Effectively dead! Subject to change for funsies (and because it’s determinant on what exactly happened to cDay, who is not my little guy to make decisions about). It has completely different sculk-related-rules to web2 I thiiink? but cVwoop would not be comfortable with this knowledge. For the record.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Considering phobias are like, specifically irrational, I don’t think so? They both are very afraid but they’re pretty rational fears, except maybe the fears they share about being used by higher powers. It’s more of a conspiracy theory for Seren, that servers are like, entities that are inherently confining and that if he isn’t careful he will Become a Roleplayer. Essentially. And I don’t think that Vwoop’s god-fear is like, severe enough to be a phobia. Most of Vwoop’s other fears are just reactions to the mortal peril. OH I THOUGHT OF ONE NVM. It has an irrational nervousness about people in Its Space if its not watching. This is waved if only if it trusts you enough. Other than this it Will start to fight you if you don’t get out. It has a whole Thing about breaking and entering. [<- thinks about its relationships in which it does not care. living with finch + just straight up having a shared storage / considering itself perpetually invited to cwl’s and just showing up + going OUR base with aem in a diff rp... :3.]

[link]

[bandtrees]

hello o//

i heard you had a fursona and i was curious to know about them if you’re willing to share :]

(/nf of course)

oh of course!!! :]] here he is!

i <3 robot furries so he's a robot dog! i based him most obviously off of transformers (specifically idw tailgate and ironfist) (named kibble both cuz dog and cuz that's the term in transformers fandom for extraneous robot-parts that don't serve much purpose on a 'human' body ie wheels etc) but i also wanted to, in 2024 redesigning him for this ref sheet, make him a bit easier to follow as an anthro dog design and able to be worked into furry stuff, while still being visibly mechanical ^_^

in the ways of lore i really don't have much for him - honestly he's just a standin for myself - but i have the concept that he was made to be a sort of living computer. genius database, future of technology, etc... but his storage capacity's small and his scope of interests even smaller, so he doesn't really have much actually technically helpful knowledge... he does, however, have encyclopedic levels of knowledge about nonsense things like tvtropes and trivia for whatever show he's into now.

(^really this is just a way (FOR ME PERSONALLY i should say as i know 'autistic robot' is a bad stereotype for a reason) to express autism as that's what it feels like for me a lot of the time. having a lot of passion and drive to learn but only in the few things your brain's latched onto - and of course the social hurdles that will come with being a robot in 'human'(furry?) society)

he's very inexpressive - doesn't have pupils, doesn't blink, has no mouth (the robotic muzzle isn't a mask, it's just what his face looks like), and i imagine he speaks mechanically too (i waffle between making him mute, giving him a text-to-speech type thing, or limiting his communication to pulling up webpages haha)

he's also one of those fursonas that has a few different designs and such depending on the 'verse, i've drawn him in the context of transformers designs for selfshipping a few times (specifically w/ mtmte first aid, and moreso idw/es tarantulas) and i should do that again :] depending on the situation his design falls in many different places along the furry-mech scale lolol

to get real: i've been a furry and had fursonas since. like. im gonna say as far as 2008, since i was very small :]c but kibble's the first one in a long time i feel actually suits me in both a "feels like me" sense and a "fun character to draw with some degree of fun fantasy" - cuz for a long stretch of time, when i stopped being into sparklecats and the like as a teenager, i fell hard into the "truesona" type of furry designs...

...which, nothing wrong with those, but as someone with crummy self esteem, just kind of led to me hyperfocusing on myself as a kind of "boring slob" type of character. not interesting enough to be anything but a plainly colored realistic animal, and too self-conscious about my appearance to feel too comfortable straying from "fat, depressed, tired and messy slob", as to portray myself as anything but that felt dishonest.

until one day, and this was at the height of my transformers hyperfixation so i'd grown attached to very inhuman robot-y designs, i just kind of realized, "hey, if i wanted, i could make my sona anything i want, right? i like robots and my friends compare me to dogs, i could make a robot dog! i could have fun designing a mech anthro dog!" and. i did lol. and it's the happiest i've been with a fursona, both from a design standpoint and a 'me' standpoint :]]

thank you for the ask! sorry for suddenly getting so real, i don't think you expected me to, kibble as an oc just means a lot to me :'D

(i also have other, non-sona, furry ocs if you ever wanna hear about furry boy band drama lol. i only recently reopened asks again so i'm trying to get more comfortable with em despite my constant Inbox Paranoia. ty again!!)

[l3rking]

I've put about 100 hours into Starfield so far and as much fun as I'm having, I can't wait for the mods to start rolling out. Once the tools release I might even try my hand and learn how to do it.

I would love to see some modders take a crack at difficulty and immersion. Maybe I'm just S.T.A.L.K.E.R.-pilled, but this game has the bones to really flesh out more in-depth mechanics like:

Make afflictions and meds/food more impactful (afflictions hardly do anything)

Add afflictions like thirst/hunger/energy (sleep is literally just an XP bonus and all food/drink are pretty much just worse medpacks)

Weapon and Equipment degradation and repair (divisive but I like the idea of patching up bullet holes in my spacesuit)

Stricter carrying capacity

Inventory overhaul (weapon/ammo limitations mostly)

Harder hitting AI.

More rewarding Outpost investment and streamlined Cargo Linking

Companion "quick commands" (i.e. don't shoot, stay here, return to ship, etc.)

General price increases for all vendors across the board to promote crafting, smarter commerce, and running mission boards

On-The-Fly crafting options (let me prepare simple food w/o having to go to a kitchen)

More deterministic rewards from higher end missions and enemy outposts. (legendary and higher rated weapon/equipment drops are almost completely nonsensical)

Evil companions. I hate that the Crimson Fleet is the only faction that aren't fukin cops or a super corporation and all the companions are such bootlickers if you do decide to join the Fleet (they are objectively the most fun faction)

It's not lost on me that the general appeal of BGS games is the power fantasy, and I'm haven't had this much fun with a BGS game since Oblivion, but without any real endgame challenge I'm finding myself getting bored quickly. That's almost always solved by a new playthrough tho. But that trick only works a handful of times (cough...cough...skyrim).

[ventiswampwater]

2022 writing wrap up

tagged by my beloved @possumteeths MWAH ILY

Total Words Published: 

30,725

Additional Words Written: 

about 9k of assorted other wips lmao

and about 4k for a random non-fic writing project that I kinda......abandoned......but maybe we’ll pick it back up idk

Grand Total of Words: 

about 44,000!

Fandoms:

house of wax exclusively. smh. bc I lost my mind in october over it and have published nothing BUT content for it

however!! I would love to branch out eventually and write some other shit lmao!!

I have a bride of chucky fic in the works and I’d love to dabble into other slashers PERHAPS

none of them own this ass quite like those wax losers UNFORTUNATELY

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments):

it’s my first HOW fic, poacher’s dream...which is a categorically nasty and weird lil house of wax oneshot about bo sinclair bein nasty w/beer bottles.

glad to know that all of u are intrigued @ the thought of being debased w/a budweiser bottle by this hick loser bc same tbh

Highest Kudos to Hits Ratio:

pumpkin guts! a silly lil halloween romp in which the reader carves pumpkins with the worst men in america! spooky!

New Things I Tried:

x reader fics lol!! I never thought I'd write anything in that format! tbqh, I didn't think I'd return to writing fanfic at all! bc for years I’ve had this cycle of getting into something, writing one (1) fic for it, losing all interest in fic writing, and disappearing off the face of whatever fandom I scuttled into lmao

seems like the only thing that motivates me to semi-regularly post fics is the concept of screwing the vilest fictional men?? interesting!! I love my neurological functions

Fic I Spent the Most Time On:

it feels like it was sanguine lmao

I wrote 9.5k words of weird cerebral EDGING porn for this deranged elvis impersonator and his mechanic LARP

I really did 

and it’s 100% the least accessible of my fics bc it’s Peculiar™. but when I tell u I sat and absolutely labored over that fic rfhsdjwjfedskrfjwds

I put a lot of time and energy into it and it knocked 7391932 years off my life tbh

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

something borrowed! 

I think it’s the strongest fic in my catalogue tbh. Just pacing/format-wise. I really like the overall structure and tone! It’s this strange little foray into Bo’s demented little pea brain and has several scenes I love a lot 

I’m also very fond of miss ambrose, my lester fic! it’s just GOOFY fluffy nonsense!!! I had SO MUCH fun writing it 

Favorite Thing I Read:

everything LITERALLY EVERTHING that my fuckin INCREDIBLY talented friend @possumteeths​/ @raccoonspooky​ wrote!! like I’m actively trying to narrow down my favorite and I am having the most DIFFICULT time bc they are all works of fuckin art lmao

I literally just reread obedient dogs the other day. go read that. have u read the SOUL SHATTERING and AWARD WINNING they'll pay you a thousand for a kiss & .50 for your soul ?? HAVE U?? BESTIE if U HAVE NOT??? 

basically, go gargle down all of poki’s content idk man IT’S ALL SO GOOD 

@visceravalentines​ wrote THIS incredible piece and it made me clinically fuckin insane. edit: AND THIS ONE. HOLY SHIT. I have reread both of these 7382817983 times!!! meg ily!! u just wait I’m gonna attack ur masterlist like a frenzied bear after a long winter hibernation I swear

regrettably, I didn’t consume a ton of fic this year!! granted, I only got into this fandom in october so I have time to catch up lmao!! definitely plan to have a more extensive list next year 

Writing goals for 2023:

write more nonsensical insanity and just have fun lmao

as for concrete plans!! I’d love to write a whole series of x readers with horror ladies (final girl/villain/what have u)! carly and tiff are already on that list, but if you have any other ideas, I’m all ears! I need to brush through my horror lady mental catalogue and give them some ao3 rights lmao!

New Works:

The previously mentioned Carly x Reader fic! It’s been my super self-indulgent brainchild for the past couple months, and I love it a lot! I really want to hammer it out this month and toss it out into the internet void......but we shall see. 

If only I can get the weevil that is Ho Binclair out of my goddamn scriv doc..........speaking of him.......................

☢️💥🤡 I’ve got 37171984918342 Bo WIP’s bopping around my skull at all times yikes🤡💥☢️

I don’t need those. u don’t need those. I’ve already written enough for this man. what else is there 2 say!!! and yet

I’m also writing bits and pieces of this multi-chaptered Vincent slowburn. that will be out..............................at some time? in the future jfrdsjhrjhwfdskrwfds who knows

tagging the writer moots that I haven't already seen tagged!! no stress of course mwah 

@visceravalentines, @venus-haze​

also consider urself tagged if u read 2 the bottom of this hell post 

[kafus]

hello what is your opinion on join avenue from gen 5

omg i didn’t see this till now because i fell asleep

join avenue is actually really cool and one of my favorite passive “dailies” in any pokemon game, the feeling of having your avenue slowly build up and genuinely become more useful is actually Pretty Cool! in my current main white 2 file which i started in the past. fuck idk the past 6 months or so i’ve been really focused on leveling the berry guy because having access to more ev lowering berries than just that one guy on route 5 who sells 5 a day would be Nice

i think they easily could have made join avenue a wireless only thing where you HAVE to meet with people irl or online to flesh it out but i’m really glad they didn’t because i already have my hands full with controlling two dses at the same time to grind funfest missions LMAO but genuinely it’s a nice single player grind. keeps u coming back. being able to see players u interact with and even hire them to ur avenue IS cool tho so i’m glad it interacts with wireless somewhat- i use the DNS exploit to use online features in modern day and i had no idea people from GTS trades show up until i did some GTS trades and they showed up! my friend also traded me a black 2 exclusive and i recruited them as a shop owner so they’re on my file forever :) HSJDKD

oh and the little personalization features r cute. the staff calling u a nickname is fun but the little phrases r cute too even if they’re clunky and nonsensical in sentences. i actually think there’s something to be said about letting people from different regions have phrases in their own languages and then going online and seeing other languages in your avenue as a result, it’s just a really cool feeling. i have a copy of japanese black 2 and i use it for pass powers but i see it in my white 2 all the time and the phrases r written in japanese so i just have random japanese popping up on screen. i should trade w international folk on the GTS for more Lmao it’s just really cool and ties into unova’s themes of interconnectivity and language even more

my only complaint is sometimes the visitor messages are vague as hell like the ones where you’re choosing what shop to send them to, and not in a good way either but that’s kind of an issue with all pokemon game mechanics not being spelled out properly. but that’s what bulbapedia is for babey!!

i had no idea i could write so much about join avenue 💀 i could probably think of more but i’m cutting myself off thank u sm for asking i love talking abt random pokemon mechanics like this BDNJDDK

[oodlyenough]

misc thoughts on horizon forbidden west a trillion years later

huge mixed bag of a game for me. some parts were very interesting, and sometimes i was having a ton of fun, and then other times it felt like an absolute chore to bother continuing. i played the first, i don't know, 3rd of the game on normal mode and was enjoying the level of challenge and then eventually hit a point where i was impatient, switched over to story to push through, and was never able to leave story because i'd start dying immediately

part of this is probably because the of the update gear mechanic which. god. i can't be assed. it is too much work honestly lmao, convoluted, etc. overall it felt like the game added a lot of stuff for the sake of Adding Stuff... and in the process it also nerfed a bunch of my fave weapons from HZD. tripwires and traps are useless now. why would i want something that is way more likely to hurt *me* in battle. why did aloy forget how to whistle. i could barely keep track of valor surge let alone remember stamina and whatever else lol

the story too kept having ups and downs.

-varl/zo was such nonsense LMAO i'm sorry wtf... if varl was going to die why not let him and aloy have their little UST thing up until that point? why introduce a brand new character and be like "after trailing aloy for six months he met zo for two minutes and is in love. Also zo is pregnant :)" come on

-erend don't touch me. get off me. ugh. ew

-the far zenith stuff was so strange... i was interested in the lore but every time one of them turned up it just seemed like a different game was happening, lol. like i know the Point of their design was to look so different from everyone else but it just felt odd to me. when they showed up the first time I was like ????? lmao. In general the Zeniths felt ... like... we spent all this time learning to take out their shields and then we fought 1 of them.

-at first i also thought it was stupid they were literally the same people, immortalized. but it DID give me the opportunity to have tilda, who was easily a high point in the game, so whatever i guess

-tilda! you're crazy. i love you. lmfao. I feel like they underutilized her. I can roll w the obsessive love stuff but wish we'd gotten a bit more... I also felt like the way they set up her betrayal was everyone telling me "She's gonna betray us", to the point that I was expecting her to not do so because that would be more surprising, lmao. Sylens got the actual interesting character turn in that regard

-it felt hard to take any satisfaction in the end of the game's "successes" when the last 20 minutes suddenly introduced Threequel Villain and spent time hyping them up as the next existential threat. if I was supposed to enjoy my victory I didn't really bc I was like "okay and now the next thing..." they wanted some sense of triumph and Community and I didn't really feel that. although I guess I did feel we veered back into climate allegory so... fine... I suppose

-the ending stuff being about Community but not involving any NPCs from HZD except erend was off to me. :/ miss u varl. why isn't talanah here. or petra. or... etc

[hiyapandanurse]

The more sexual experiences I have the less convinced that I've ever actually liked sex all that much. Like maybe there have been fleeting pleasures here and there; but I think the socialization that led me to prioritize sex and the excitement at getting to do it were really pushing me thru it.

I don't actually like the sensation of a lot of sex acts. But I also wonder if maybe I'm just dissatisfied with the partners I've had. Dissatisfied with my inability to find a partner who treats me the way I long to be treated, and scared by the pain I feel when those emotional needs aren't met - the idea thay I may not be lovable or wanted in the way I want to be. Dissatisfied with their inability to touch me in pleasurable ways w/o pain, and with how difficult my body and brain makes physical pleasure, how dry and fragile and sensitive and peculiar my body is - how my anatomy and physiology both make me feel like I have a broken, failed attempy at a body.

Maybe sex is emotionally painful because my inability to enjoy it as readily and easily and consistently and in "normal" ways as others makes me feel defective and alienated. My inability to find partners ready to read my manual and give me time and learn what I need feels like the deepest rejection. My only defense mechanisms are dissasociation, distance, blaming myself, or blaming my partners.

And maybe I do have the right to be mad at some of my past partners. For promising things they were not prepared to give. Maybe we should all be mad when others fail to anticipate our individual needs and that we may not be just a fun time.

But maybe all along I've expected the wrong things from sex. Maybe what sex is for me isn't even a little bit represented by porn, media, or even peers. The commonly held idea of what sex is is so oppresively pervasive, and one's inability to perform it and enjoy it and get it and persue it is somehow a societal mark of worth. Somehow I feel rebellious saying that I don't like sex. It feels powerful, because by rejecting sex - or the agreed upon idea of sex - I am freeing myself from all these nonsense ideas that have been pushed on me and that I've based my self worth on. The power isnt necessarily from outright rejection of sex as a social institution, but in turning the tables and changing my perspective. I don't strive to be sexually adequate and attractive and to enjoy sex - I don't try to perform to an arbitrary standard. Sex needs to meet *my* standards, my expectations. And so far it really hasn't, so at this point I'm starting to wonder why the fuck I should bother.

I've been trying to figure out what it is I *actually* like. And almost everything that I consistently enjoy without enduring pain is more within the realms of kink, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, cuddling - much moreso than sex.

But I still fantasize about sex acts. I still dream of an actually satisfying sexual experience, and its so hard for me to obtain that its built up to this mythical status in my head. This idea of a real catharsis from sex. Thinking about actually enjoying sex and getting lost in pleasure gets me emotional, it makes me cry sometimes. Its become linked to finding someone who understands me and who can finally crack the code that I am, actually get it right, make me feel lovable and not broken and not weird. But actually realizing that experience in real life seems almost foolish at this point. I feel so naive when I indulge in the idea.

So what the fuck ever I don't know what I'm even getting at here any more. I don't even know if I'll publish this. But idk man its a big thing for me.

[mandalorewhore]

Hunter (formerly Hunter and Prey)

Cis-Female Reader Insert/ Din Djarin

Gif by @themandaloriandaily

Thank u to @cptnbvcks, @whenimaunicorn, and of course @no-droids for the inspiration and your superior writing skills, whenever i was stuck on a portion i would reread all of u guy’s works and feel inspired again

Rating: Explicit Content Warnings: Exhibitionism, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Breath Play, Deep Throating, Masturbation, Pining, Depictions Of Violence, Canon-Typical Violence Words: 11k AO3 LINK

Summary: AU where Din Djarin stays with the mercenary group owned by Ranzar Malk. Takes place a few years before Din is contracted for Grogu's bounty. You're a merc trying to make a name for yourself in the group when circumstances end up having you run away with Din. You become his hunting partner in order to support yourself but you cant help falling in love with him, even as trained killers chase you across the galaxy.

FULL FIC:

As a mercenary, you wouldn’t consider yourself an overly sensitive person. 

Maker knows you wouldn’t have lasted a week in the job if you couldn’t handle your emotions. Although you don’t consider yourself entirely void of empathy, having a sense of detachment is useful when your waking hours are spent committing crimes throughout the galaxy.

          So why the fuck are you so jealous right now?

          The obscene moans and harsh slapping that echoes throughout the hangar shouldn’t inspire a larger reaction than disgust as you dutifully continue to repair the blaster marks on one of the rogue-class starfighters. Luckily, it seems that most of your immediate associates have ran off into the deeper areas of the bay to toll your last mission.

Excluding three members, you guess.

          Thank the fucking Maker Migs isn’t here You think bitterly, willing the sparks to fly higher and machine rumble louder as you carefully manipulate your buffing laser on the metal surface. His snarky attitude certainly wouldn’t lessen your misery as you try to drown out the sounds of sex. Raunchy words hiss, bouncing off the metal walls, before finding your feet and slithering up your limbs with a foulness that chokes you. Controlling the hot spinning laser seems to stoke your inner seething more than it distracts you. 

“Mando! Stars, keep-fuck- keep doing that,” you hear Xi’an echoing. Fucking Xi’an. She knows what she’s doing to you. The cruel Twi’lek is far too observant to not know that she is practically comm-station broadcasting her sexual exploits to the entire crew, and with that sheer volume, might as well the entire galaxy. You truly wouldn’t care about her sex life if it wasn’t blatantly obvious that Xi’an was doing this to mock you. You know this is meant for your ears only, a repeat of every other time you’ve found yourself stuck with this chore.  

Even if she wasn’t directly rubbing the fact that she was fucking the Mandalorian in your face, you don’t doubt that she would find a way to taunt your nonexistent sex life just for the fun of it. Another salacious moan echoes in the bay causing you to cringe and slightly jerk the repair tool in frustration.

Fuck, why did it have to be Mando? Aren’t there enough people on this kriffing space station to warm her bed? And how is he being so quiet right now? After a second you remember that’s a stupid question, considering he is probably the quietest person you’ve ever met.

His reservation serves to intimidate your targets, all the while unintentionally stoking that warmth in your belly when you are near him. His all-encompassing presence when he enters a room strikes fear in the hearts of the opposition, meanwhile, you are secretly pressing your thighs together in desire, enjoying the spectacle?.

 You’ve found yourself reveling in the few jobs where Ran’s strategy has you in a decoy-role, weaponizing your feminine charm to lull your target into a false sense of power. The muscle composing of Burg and Mando make quick work of those men once they're thoroughly wrapped up in your wiles. Despite being placed together for jobs on several occasions you’ve never actually had a real conversation with him. 

You’re too scared to talk to him, a near-silent man covered head to toe in Beskar, but you make money killing people and robbing gangs every week. It would be funnier if that purple freak wasn’t so vile. You don’t even know how to casually approach him.. Nice job killing those guys while I manipulated them into trying to fuck me! I’m pretty good with a gun, too. Maker, it’s so ridiculous that you don’t even bother with trying to figure it out. Other fantasies are easier to picture, such as the thought of him strolling across the room to slot himself in-between your spread legs, directing that intensity into your willing, aching body.

  This infuriating crush is why you suppose that your envy wouldn’t be as biting if you caught some sort of noise from the man during these displays of exhibitionism. It would give you something to repeat in your mind while you stow away in the late hours of the night seeking your own release. You guess the inability to hear him is proof of how far Xi’an is pushing her volume. It’s all just to piss you off. 

“Uhg, how miserable..” You mutter to yourself, allowing a little moment of self-indulgent angst. Typically, you wouldn’t allow yourself to wallow like a petulant teen seeing as you’re a literal fucking criminal. 

I’m supposed to be a hardass, dammit you think, spirits low as repairs wrap up far too swiftly. You swear you’ll buff right through every layer in the ship if you keep procrastinating on finishing your job and wandering into the tucked away fresher for a shower. Wandering past….them.

Wherever they are choosing to fuck can’t be that far considering the slap of skin on skin is already fucking loud enough. The sounds seem to be emanating from a vent not too high up the wall, you deduce it connects to one of the bunk rooms not too far from the landing pad you’re working next to. It really is fucking loud with all these metal surfaces to echo off of. Making your way to your small bunk might cause you to go deaf and if the last thing you ever hear is Xi’an wailing as she rubs in the fact that you aren’t fucking Mando, well, you might just take this spinning laser to your head. Unfortunately, at this point, the exterior of the gunship couldn’t possibly get more pristine.

Sighing in defeat, you push up from your crouching position on the metal floor and start to assemble your tools for clean-up while the sounds of Twi’lek pleasure predictably pick up  in volume.

“Fuck, fuck-Ah I’m close, I-I’m going to-“ A literal howl pierces the air as your gut twists with discomfort. Fuck, this is so awkward... and like, weird? Does he consent to this? Does he like that we can hear it? Maker.. Pushing that thought out of your mind you start to jog to your goal of the darkened hall that leads to the station fresher, still so wrapped up in jealousy that you almost miss the rough modulated growl accompanying the scream.

 O-oh.

Oh shit. Was that Mando….Moaning?

The swirling jealousy is suddenly overtaken by a- stars- painful heat, so debilitating that you stumble and almost double over with an intensity that shoots through your groin. Okay well, now you feel like an actual pervert. This display of eroticism was engineered by Xi’an to make you uncomfortable, not so painfully turned on that it’s dizzying. You vaguely register a growing slickness between your legs as you hurry along the cold hallway, desperate to drench yourself in icy water and pretend to forget the sound of Mando moaning.

Shit, Maker, was he cumming? Was that what he sounds like when-- no stopstopnope. Don’t think about that. Your inner monologue is running amuck as you desperately try to block it out. This feels kinda gross, as if you’re a greasy peeping tom spying on Mando’s private endeavors even though this whole situation was shoved in your face to make you ache in countless, longing ways.

That deep growl repeats in your mind as you hum nonsensically under your breath, tapping your skull as if you can knock the sound out of your consciousness despite being well aware that you will go to your fucking grave with every detail. The top of your inner thighs is so embarrassingly slick that you have to resist waddling along the corridor to the showers. Just as you are about to round the first corner, one of the side bunker doors slides halfway opens with a whoosh. The smirking Twi’lek saunters out like the loth-cat who got the cream.

I suppose she did get the cream... Your split-second of sour mirth is further spoiled as Xi’an slides the rest of the door open revealing the gleam of silver beskar and red steel as the ever still Mandalorian adjusting his…thigh armor. You spy a large vent at the junction between wall and ceiling, confirming your earlier suspicions that she chose this location on purpose. Quickly glancing between Mando and Xi’an, your face uncontrollably floods with fire when her giggles pierce the air. You register his helmet tilting toward you right as Xi’an’s tongue slowly extends to liiiick her fingers, any curiosity at his gesture burning away in revulsion.

What does she get out of making everyone uncomfortable? You think to yourself, wanting to squirm away from the obscenity but resolving to hold your ground.

“Xi’an,” You greet the two shortly, hands linked behind your back. “Mando.”  He nods.

“Sorry,” Xi’an offers in a voice devoid of guilt. “Were we being too loud? I would never want to distract you from your… projects.” Her taunting smile curls so widely that it is almost disturbing. “What would the team do without our junior mechanic!”

Her cackle rings through the suddenly freezing hall as you spin on your heel and try to not look like you’re fleeing. Red is tinting the edges of your vision from her insult while tears threaten to flood your eyes out of embarrassment.

You need to get to that shower quickly.

    ----------------

  As the tepid shower rains down on your flushed body, you childishly wonder if you should run away. Or rather, if you could run away considering you technically don’t own any of the ships currently residing in the hangar bay. Although you technically have free reign to pilot most of the spaceships available, that freedom entirely applies to transportation between merc assignments . The thought of running away from your current acquaintances on a stolen ship is not appealing. In fact, the only crew member owning a personal vessel happens to be Mando, his Razer Crest gunship was often subject to your mechanic skills.

Mando, who always offered a genuine “Thank you.” after you’d spend hours touching up the vessel’s damage procured from the rare missions he lent its flight to. Mando, the person who you are presently trying to not think about while naked and still trembling with emotion.

Your sillier fantasies would sometimes involve stealing away in his gunship, hand pressed over his chest and leg thrown across his lower body like a romance novel while he skillfully pilots the ship away. Kriff, you felt like a soft girl whenever you run this scenario through your mind, so cliché and campy that you cringe at yourself. Thus, this particular dive into your consciousness was reserved for special moments such as lying in bed after a strenuous job, or after long days spent working through that junkyard of hangar bay trying to strong-arm your way into earning worth in the company. Private moments where you are finally comfortable letting your guard down to drift aimlessly throughout maladaptive daydreams.

Not so soft fantasies exist in your mind as well. Once again that modulated groan springs to the forefront of your mind causing your clit to throb softly. The conflicting feelings of embarrassment, rage, and painful arousal serves to create an energizing cocktail that goes straight to your pussy.

‘Fuck it,” You whisper breathily to yourself, “Nows as good a time as ever..” your fingers are trailing down your stomach as you say the words out loud. You adjust the water to be slightly warmer and sigh as the comfortable heat compliments your tickling fingers. If only you could replace your hands with the significantly larger leather-clad ones of a certain bounty hunter. The thought spikes your arousal as you lightly brush against your mound, choosing to tease yourself as images flash through your mind. The armor-clad Mandalorian gripping the back of your neck to you press facedown on the floor of his ship and take his cock. Or your legs spread wide across his hips, crushing your pussy on his groin while he’s seated in the pilot seat of his ship.

Your fingers dip slightly into your slick hole then drag up to your clit causing you to bite your free palm and hold back a moan. Eyelids heavy, you give in to the fantasies and begin to earnestly rub at your clit.

“Mmf Maker, f-fuck..”, you whine into your hand at the thought of him breaking your pussy open. You just know he fucks hard -- it’s a given that the crazy Twi’lek would be one for rougher sexual affairs. Someone who spends nearly every moment of life feeling nothing but the weight of fabric and beskar on their skin must be so fucking touch starved. You bet the opportunities he’s had to feel a tight cunt wrapped around his length would completely overwhelm his restraint. Muffled moans begin to fill the fresher as your fingers speed up between your legs, head hanging forward into the metal wall and water dripping off your brows.

Your eyes flutter shut as you pull your hand from your lips to tug at your hardened nipple, other hand still between your legs, imagining a dark visor being trained on your soaking wet, writhing body. The image sends a shooting pleasure up your spine as you spin around and press your back to the wall. Imagining his dark form watching you from the other side of the gathering steam, you open your thighs and spread your labia apart, sighing at the wet sound it makes. “Like what you see, hunter..?” you whisper into the empty room wishing he would find you in this shower.

Removing your fingers from your nipple you reach down to your crotch and greedily fill yourself with two fingers, pumping in and out as your other hand works at your swollen clit. The volume of your now unmuffled pleasure is likely overheard by anyone on this section of the station, but you can't find it in yourself to give a shit. If Xi’an can screech out her orgasms at any given opportunity to fuck with you then let them hear.

Let him hear.

Your imagination runs rampant at the notion that he could hunt down your gasps and take care of you himself, causing you to gasp louder. S-shit people can hear you, you just won't say his name out loud, it's fine, it's f-fine- The thought of him discovering you here is so hot that it's blinding, and suddenly your orgasm is rushing up to crush you entirely.

Your lower half is locked tight then suddenly your knees buckle and you’re cumming hard. Your choked gasps cutting through the steamy shower like blaster fire as you peak higher, uncontrollably calling out for the Mandalorian while white-hot pleasure wrings you dry. Let him hear you crying for him as you gush around your fingers, convulsing in bliss.

     In the shuddering aftershocks, you don’t hear the uncharacteristically loud padding of leather boots retreating away from the fresher door.

    ------------------------------------------

    You’re good at your job. You wouldn’t be doing it if you truly couldn’t handle the ordeal of being a mercenary. The whole point of the job is to take care of the dirty work, so those far disconnected wouldn’t have to dwell on their choices too hard. You’re used to not asking questions, motivated by credits and reputation alone. But in moments like these, a job going this awry… well, you just feel like pure shit. This hit was way too easy and far too filthy even for your career mostly consisting of professional filth. It was so glaringly obvious that even if your associate’s numbers were sliced in half, you would still sweep the ground with your winnings.

And what meager earnings they are.

The crew’s assignment this round was to hit a casino shipment just outside the outer rim planet of Cantonica. Due to the Razer Crest’s ability to fly under the radar of both Imperial and New republic records, Ran rudely allotted that Mando should allow his ship’s use for crew transport. You’re surprised he agreed at all, but perhaps the prospect of gain motivated him. His motivations are rarely clear to you. You’re guessing the price of a wealthy city’s supply sounded frankly too tempting for everyone involved; Ran was practically salivating over the drawing board for this particular errand. One would imagine a hull stacked to the top with credits and the finest luxuries for Canto Blight’s flashy tourists. It is Catonica’s main attraction after all.

But once the team’s resident crime droid, Zero, breached the cargo ship's record, the whole team is  informed that the cargo-freighter ship only contains “organics”.

Slaves.

          In the end, Migs remarked that there may still be something of worth to obtain from this job, and thus the plan morphed into an robbery on the surface once the cargo landed at its isolated dock. You reluctantly agreed to continue while Mando shortly nodded, both of you last to assent on this change in direction.

----------------   

Some hours later you’re crouching in a derelict warehouse while the lessening blaster fire showers spark like fireworks across your corneas. The fighting between your crew and the dockyard guards has almost died down at this point and you take the moment to catch your breath behind a large stack of cargo boxes.

          “Holy stars,” you gasp out, head falling between your knees as a wave of guilt consumes you momentarily. This job fucking blows. It’s so much easier robbing Imps and gangs because they are inherently bad fucking people. Robbing a group of slaves is the lowest point you think you have ever hit in your life. This is so wrong, this is so so wrong, they don’t even have ownership of their own lives and here your crew of fucking mercenaries swoops in with a vengeance over being cheated out of something that we didn’t own in the first place.

The last straw was when you witnessed a young bedraggled woman fearfully tossing the Twi’lek sibling, Qin, a small wooden necklace, the last possession from her life before slavery. You ended up turning tail and running deeper into the dock while Qin needlessly hissed at her just to enjoy her terror. You’re sure he’ll just toss the thing after the job is over.

“I never would’ve agreed to this…” You breathe out shakily to the empty air, hollowness swallowing your ability to compartmentalize your humanity from the nature of this work. You are still fighting the impulse to give in to that deep pit of sorrow when a large shadow makes you start and grip your blaster before relaxing in recognition at the chrome gleam.

          “Oh, hey, Mando,” Smiling tightly in his presence as he approaches silently, his helmet tilted down at your crouched form. His gaze makes you straighten up quickly, realizing that you probably shouldn’t look so stricken in front of your crime associate. Gotta look tough, can’t let people think you’re too soft for this work. Man, didn’t he help start the company? That thought motivates you further to stand up and face him head-on.

 “Not what we expected huh? Certainly no Canto luxury here..” you quietly murmur to his cheek groove.

If you looked directly where his eyes might be he would likely catch the sparkle of moisture threatening to pool at your bottom lashes.

          “No,” he breathes shortly through the modulator. “Not this.” Something in his voice inspires the bravery to glance at his T-shaped visor. Compared to his usual tone of speech he almost sounds …stricken right now. Distraught by this display of debauchery your crewmates have shown the slaves and few people manning the dock. It's not noticeable unless you’ve been around him enough to read him on some level but deep down you know he feels the same way. You try to recall him taking part in the violent takeover and realize he was barely present for the ordeal. Aside from the initial violence that broke out during landing he hardly did anything and was noticeably absent once the slaves were targeted. In the back of your mind, you pray that he won't be reprimanded for the lack of effort. The thought is ridiculous but you’re scared anyway.

Stars, this is all too much, your head is swirling with grief and stress as your heart rate picks up and suddenly you are so desperate for humanity, for empathy  that you lose your filter and-

          “Couldn’t stomach it either?” You blurt out to him, desperately hoping he understands and will not judge your deep sorrow for the enslaved people affected by this brutal takedown. Your mind catches up in panic half a second later when Mando doesn’t immediately respond. Did you just seek sensitivity from the Mandalorian? Fuck. Wait. That sounded like an insult too. Fuck um-

“Ah, um I-I mean. I just mean I don’t remember you firing on anyone helpless and I um- I didn’t either, I didn’t fire my blaster at all to be honest I-Fuck- I hid. They’re just slaves not Imps, Mando. The guards were taken out in seconds and-” You hiccup and stutter as tears gather at the edges of your eyes and begin to fall. You feel so overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt that all of a sudden you forgot about his open show of emotion.

Pull it together, don't do this in front of the Mandalorian. He is the very picture of a stoic, hardened mercenary and now you’re kriffing crying in front of him? It briefly registers that this is the first time you’ve ever spoken one on one with him, the both of you were almost always alone or with members of Ran’s party during time off. You internally curse your existence for thinking you could tearfully word vomit in front of a fucking bounty hunter and get comforted by him. Your knowledge of Mandalorians is limited, despite knowing one, yet you think the point of his whole creed about giving up your identity and giving yourself to war. Why the fuck did you cry in front of a damn Manodlorian? You’re just starting to unfreeze from your panic-stricken muscles to dab at your cheeks when a gloved hand swiftly brushes just below your eye to catch a tear.

          ‘This wouldn’t have happened if that Droid could do his job,” You glance up at him in shock at his biting tone juxtaposed with the gentle gesture, but he’s already turning away, voice rotating with his visor. “The worst is over now that the shooting stopped. Let’s round up the others.”

          He pauses with his back turned and you take that moment to compose yourself. You’ve only shed a few tears so your eyes can’t be that red.

“O-okay.. .” You reply, trying to inject your usual backbone into the tone of your response before moving to follow him around the piled boxes and regroup. Staring into your warped reflection in the back of his helmet you try to find the words to thank him but they get lost in the ghosts of today.

          Your mind is still swirling but the clouds of despair have mostly cleared away. You know you don’t have time to dwell on your short interaction yet your mind is fully absorbed in his every move, both present and past. Coming from anyone else his reaction would seem shitty and dismissive but coming from Mando... well, you're honestly shocked. Those two sentences were fairly long for someone usually so silent. And what about his reaction to the way this job has gone? Him brushing away your tears?

You are gazing down at your feet deep in thought when you suddenly bonk into the back of Mandos broad back, wacking your forehead on the base of his helmet.

          “Oww.” You groan lightly, rubbing your forehead and stepping to the right of his body, “Why’d you stop so sudde-'' It is then when you notice the muffled whimpering coming from the clearing in front of the both of you. A crimson pool of blood laps at the Mandalorian’s boots, its kiss staining the leather a deep black.

Now you are truly sickened, bile rising in your throat as a ragged gasp leaves your mouth.

          “Why…? How can you..”

          “Xi’an!”

          Your choked whisper leaves your lips at the same moment the Mandalorian fucking barks the Twi’leks name.

A crumpled form adjacent to her body is the source of the whimpering and bloodshed, their contorted limbs looking less than human as muscles strain against metal binders. Xi’an’s triangular blades are dripping in her grip as she spins on her toes like a dancer and flounces childishly in the direction of your frozen form. Tearing your gaze away from the shell of a human you meet her eyes with open hostility. She stops several yards away from you.

          ‘Aha! So good to see you two. Isn’t this job sooo disappointing?” She calls out to the two of you casually. When no one responds her body deflates as she twists her knee inward and clutches one arm peevishly. Performative. “What? No hello? I could’ve died today!” She cackles at the notion.

          Mando is a statue at your side. You can feel the rage radiate in waves off his body like a heater and you wonder what's going to happen if Xi’an pushes this further. Your heightened stress from moments before is vibrating throughout your nervous system, compelling you to step forward and speak up.

          “Xi’an… this-this is completely unnecessary. The only thing required to complete our hit was taking out guards! What the fuc- and they were clearly incapacitated by you before you decided to take your blade to their skin!” Okay, that came out a little shakier than intended, but it feels like a disservice to hide your revulsion for her actions with the victim lying right there. “You could’ve just hit em’ in the skull with a blaster shot if you needed them out of your way!”

          “Guards? Oh, I already took them out. This-” Xi’an punctuates the word a kick into the person’s stomach causing them to groan weakly, “Well, this is just an Organic as Zero would put it.” Organic? Fucking- You jump slightly and glance to your left when the Mandorlorian makes a shocked exclamation at her words. Maker, you’re so sickened you forgot he was with you.

“You mean a Slave? From the shipment?” He hisses the question through his teeth. You can’t see his face but you can hear the tension in his jaw, his body still a ridged form at your side. Xi’an pokes her tongue out and runs it lightly over the pointed edge of her teeth while she considers her response. She seems to be measuring her response to Mando with a little more care than she bothered with while speaking to you. You’re guessing that she cares far more about his perception of her than your personal attitude regarding the Twi’lek. Wouldn’t want to piss off her fuck buddy.

“Answer me!” He snaps when her response takes a millisecond too long. Your purple associate sighs, exasperated now.

“Yes a slave,” she hisses, drawing out the word in contempt, “Really I’m doing him a favor. From the looks of him, he was picked up on Tatooine. I doubt he even had a family to mourn him back on that shitty dustball of a planet-” Her eyes suddenly bulge as she clamps her mouth shut, gaze fixed on the armored man betraying a twinkle of... fear?

Slowly, you turn to him. The pit in your stomach is somehow weighing heavier than ever when you take in his body language. If you thought he was emanating white-hot rage before Xi’an’s response then you don’t even have words for how he holds himself now. You take a half step back in trepidation as the air around you seems to warp around the Mandalorian’s gravitational pull.

“A foundling?” His tone is unexpectedly quiet for someone who is manipulating the very atmosphere of this desert planet. Time seems to freeze. Shadows are ebbing at the edge of your vision and your head feels like it is going to pop in the pressure. You want to do something, anything, to relieve the pressing wall closing in on the three of you, to somehow end this interaction so that you can crawl in on yourself and bury the ghosts in the back of your mind. Fuck, your mouth is so dry, heart palpitating with a painful squeeze. Shit, fuck, what do you do? What did he mean by that question and why is Xi’an freaking out? You’re still fixated on the gleam of his helmet, rushing to find appropriate words when-

A flash of red explodes in your peripheral-vision, sparks seeming to fly 20 feet in the air. The words die in your throat in shock.

Did he? Did he shoot her? You barely saw him move yet as your mind races to catch up on this turn of events, you realize his blaster is drawn low on his hip, while the rest of him hasn't shifted an inch. The pressure cooker disappears in a sweeping wave of silence.

You swallow and turn awkwardly back to Xi’an. Oh.

He shot the slave.

Xi’an is just as stiff as you, her arms slightly raised as if she instinctively tried to ward off the blaster fire before realizing its trajectory. You are still processing his actions when a gloved hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you swiftly as he runs from the scene, tossing a flash bomb behind the both of you.

Without question, you run with him.

  ----------------

  “Hey!” Within minutes your chest is burning from keeping up with Mando’s relentless pace. You’re fit from your job but he's twice as big as you and probably more than twice as fast. You get the feeling that he's moving slower than usual so you aren’t left behind. Struggling to control your breathing, you attempt to make sense of the jumbled thoughts by wheezing out, “M-Mando what are we doing?”

“Running.”

“Okay, fucking obviously!”

“To the Crest.” He clarifies just as shortly. Okay. Okay, once you reach his ship maybe you’ll get more answers. Right now, both of your priorities align with getting the fuck away from Xi’an before her vision returns and she comes after the both of you. But you can’t yet push some of the recent events to the side.

“You shot him.” You mean to phrase it like a question but it comes out more accusatory than intended with how breathless you are. “The slave you shot-“

“I ended his suffering.”

Oh. That makes sense, even if it makes your chest contract in duress you recognize his killing the slave came from a place of empathy. What exactly did he say right before drawing his blaster, something about… foundlings? You don’t know the term exactly but contextually you can guess it means orphan or alone. Fuck, this is so bad. Just what are you going to tell everyone? He may not have directed his shot at the Twi’lek but he temporarily blinded her. That still counts as an attack on a member of the team. Your chest is burning unbearably now so you slap at Mando’s vambrance to signal your need for a break. He drags you gasping around a corner into the shadowy edge of the warehouse.

“Listen, hey, look at me.” His large hand reaches out to gently grip the side of your face, warm against your skin and smelling sharply of blaster residue. Looking into his visor you realize your cheeks are damp again as hysterical hiccups threaten to make themselves known. “We are going to run. You don’t have to come with me of course but I unintentionally put you in the position of being complicit by attacking Xi’an. That-that wasn’t the plan… but I was leaving the company anyway”

His chest suddenly deflates as he rids it of air.

You realize you were holding your breath at the same time as him as you gasp out, before rubbing at your cheeks and asking dumbly, “Y-you were… leaving the company? Is Ran pissed?”

Stupid question. Of course, he’d be pissed at losing the one Mandalorian in the group. Mandos' presence gave him cred. 

“Ran doesn’t know.”

“Ran doesn’t… what? When was this happening then?”

Mando’s visor turns away from your gaze and looks off into the middle distance. His gloved hand on your face is still gripping gently to lock you in place. “Today. That’s the only reason why I agreed to let him use the Crest for this job.”

He shakes his helmet slightly and turns back to your face, the metal covering his face becoming your main focal point while the room spins. You can't see his features, and never would, yet you feel as if you are looking directly into his eyes. Your body has impeccable timing when you feel your cheeks heat blushing.

However, your senses return in an instant when a familiar piercing howl echoes off the walls. The glove drops and he is gripping your shoulders,

“Can you run again?”

Adrenaline springs your limbs into action as you spin around, catching his wrist and pulling, roles reversed as you lead him in the direction of his ship.

Dust is billowing from below whenever your feet meet the ground. The steps sound like thunder in your ears as paranoia begins to worm its way into the forefront of your senses, every corner, every shadow, every blindspot could be hiding one of your former partners. Xi’an is an excellent assassin; time and time again her main skill has proven to be stealth, targets dropping dead expectedly. The Crest isn’t very far thankfully. It sits right on the back of the targeted freighter since Zero requires physical contact to hack the other ship systems for paths. Oooohh shit you forgot about the droid- 

“Mando, Zero’s in there.” You puff out shortly in between breaths. 

“Fuck that droid. I’ll take care of him, just back me up.” You both slide around a corner as he responds, bringing the two ships into your field of view. You are facing the rear end of the larger vessel, thankfully leaving the coast clear as far as you can tell. Mando’s helmet scans the area then nods, indicating the go-ahead with his fingers before running ahead of you. You follow him, casting fervent glances behind you for any signs of life. You reach the ship a millisecond after he does, his vambrance held high to lower the rear ramp. As the ramp begins to lower he grips your shoulders and spins you around dizzily.

“Stay right outside here. The second I enter the crest I’m dropping the Droid. I’ll call you once it’s safe.” You gulp quickly and nod in assent right before he leaps into the opening of the ship.

Seconds pass. 

Your nerves are plucking way more than they normally would.. You never particularly liked Zero, but the sudden turn of taking out your ex-allies is making you high strung and nervous. Zero’s voice cuts through the silence, making you jump.

“Mandolarian, you are back early. Were the prospects plentiful despite being Organics?”

“No.” You twitch when a shot echoes in the hull followed by the clash of metal on metal.

 The Mandalorian sharply calls your name springing you into action. You enter the ship immediately spying Zero’s body under the cockpit ladder, blaster wound still smoking with red-hot metal ringing the edges. Your eyes linger a little on the droid’s body, slightly leery at the death of someone who was your backup only hours ago, then you sigh and duck to get a handle on under his shoulders, dragging him to toss out the open entryway. 

Grunting with effort you direct your voice at the cockpit, “Tossing the droid! Take off when read- Shit.”

One of the droid's hip joints gets stuck on a portion of the hull wall, preventing you from moving his corpse. Something wizzes above you at the exact moment you duck down to adjust the body, right where the back of your head was a second ago. One of Xi’an’s triangle blades ricochets off the wall and slides across the floor, stopping right under your nose. Oh f-

“Fuck! Fly, fly, she's here Mando!” You lurch to the floor as the thrusters kick in, twisting your head to try and get eyes on the clearing. Through the rapidly closing ramp, you see a flash of purple skin, but before you have time to react the Crest door snaps shut. Heart thudding at what feels like a million beats per second, you try to get your bearings on the floor. Twisting sideways you suddenly find yourself face to face with Zero’s corpse, revulsion whipping through you like lightning as you scramble backward on your hands and feet.

    You can’t do this right now. 

    The last thing you want is to seem weak and needy in front of the man who just selflessly saved your life, for reasons still unknown, but you can’t do this right now. A creature of habit, you fold your neck between your legs, the same reaction you had to the violence on Cantonica. A minute, you just need a minute, a minute and then this horrible drone will go away, and you can deal with this, you’re a fucking mercenary…  the blackness swarming at the edges of your sight overtakes you all at once and you slide limply to the floor.

  ------------------------------------------

  You aren’t sure how much time has passed once you rouse. At your request, Mando tosses Zero's body before kicking into hyperdrive right about 120,000 feet in the air. You stare at its flight path until the speck disappears in the taupe shithole that is Cantonica. Feeling shaky as your adrenaline finally dips, you decide that the Crest could do with a once over before the long journey. 

After performing a quick analysis on the Crests systems it’s determined that the two of you are lucky this hunk of metal can fly. Hyperdrive operating at 67% capacity, weak communication signal if it even works half the time, plus more damage than you can currently process. If there weren’t five million different stressors weighing on you, your mechanic brain would probably explode at the current state of Mando’s ship. He probably should’ve taken it to you, or anyone else handy with tools if he wanted it to be in proper form for departure, but it makes sense that he didn’t want to draw too much attention. Hopefully, his pilot skills will compensate for the Crest’s sorry state. 

 To be fair, the whole blow-up-your-coworker-and-run-for-your-life aspect didn’t seem to be in Mando’s original plan. 

“So… where are we going?” You’re on the floor in the cockpit, back facing the passenger chair while the Mandalorian is seated pilot. After crawling under the console for a while you couldn’t bother to lift your aching muscles on the chair, resigning to scoot on your butt over to the closest object that could support you. As a result, you end up craning your neck to look up at him, his back straight in the chair. 

“My original plan was to head to Nevarro to take on a few quarries. I’m still with the guild and Karga doesn’t give a shit whether I’m running with Ran or going in alone.” You bite your lip anxiously. Oh yeah, you kinda forgot your presence threw wrench in his plan. He notices and tilts the helmet sideways at you, “You’re not in the way. I’m not concerned about you joining me, someone of your skillset is helpful to have around. I’ll introduce you to Karga so you can get on your feet.”

The compliment lifts your spirits enough to make you playful, poking at his boot with your toe, “Gee, glad I’m useful enough to keep around. All I have is my blaster and the clothes on my back, so if you drop me, I’d be  pretty fucked.” 

You giggle quietly but you know it’s the truth. All of your possessions are back on the space station, but you didn’t own too many personal artifacts, aside from some clothes and weapons. The only thing of use would’ve been your credits. You worry again at the realization, dipping your head before continuing to speak,

“Shit Mando, I don’t have any money on me. It was all back in my bunk, I don’t know how I’ll help pay for things around here unless Karga decides I can take on a quarry right away. Even then I’ll have to bring it back before I ever have a lick to my name.”

“You can make it back. I’ll split the profit from jobs that you assist me on. Cut depends on how useful you are and once you prove yourself, Karga will give you the decent pucks.” He swivels the chair and faces you, knees slightly spread as he leans forward in the chair, “Deal?”

You swallow and nod your head, mind blanking at how your head is level with the bend in his hips. You don’t think he's trying to come across as suggestive but the effect, intentional or not, invites a flutter of desire in your tummy. The Mandalorian leans back on his leather backing and sighs, the sound gentle despite the modulator warping his natural tone,

“You aren’t in my way. I swear it. If I had more time before leaving I would’ve asked you to join me anyway, you're good with your hands and always had more… compassion? Than anyone else in the company. I admire that quality.” That makes you straighten back up to meet his visor. He sounds nearly shy.

“O-oh…” You never even thought he noticed you aside from when you touched up the Razor Crest. The compliment sends warmth throughout your body, as languid as sex pollen in the near feverish effect. You don’t know how to respond at all, you’re feeling disjointed, like you may reveal too much if you don't change the subject soon. You wish you could be snappier but you’re exhausted. Maybe try for a joke?

“I g-guess you value girls good with their hands, huh. H-haha?”

Silence. Hm. 

That was the absolute worst thing you could’ve come up with. 

It didn’t meet even a single one of your simple ass goals, which entail the following:

Thank him.

Change the subject.

Not reveal how much his words make you want him to rail you.

    Wow, what the fuck- kill me. He hasn’t moved an inch, much less reacted to your shitty joke. The positioning of your bodies that you found so hot ten seconds prior is now a place you’d try anything to escape from. It’s almost comical how his height advantage serves to emphasize the disappointment in the small room. He hasn’t responded so you’re guessing he won’t bother to try. Heavy silence suffocates you to the point of desperation, you need to fill it with something right now or you swear you’ll die. 

    “I-I jus-t mean like- Well you had certain- ah- habits, you’d adhere to in your free time. Li-like um, I mean you didn’t hide much. Kinda obvious if you- listen, uh, I didn’t mean t-to say that I-I was joking around-”

“Get to the point.”

“I-” Your tummy fills with heat at his command. “Umm..” You wipe your hands on your thighs and glance down from his voice. The hours of on and off adrenaline must be majorly messing with your head. It’s kinda weird that you want him this badly after everything that went down today. Wasn’t your most recent concern something about avoiding death at the hands of a bitch you hate most in the galaxy? To be honest you can’t recall. 

The proximity of his groin is suddenly at the forefront of your mind. Again.

He slowly tilts his helmet to look at you, arms bending to settle in a relaxed position on the armrests. You are extremely aware of how you’re blatantly staring at him but your mind is slow to come up with a valid response, blankness written in the reflection on his visor. His position on the chair is mountainous, looming over your body in a way that boxes you in between the passenger seat and the Crest console. You feel like a prey animal... In a sexy way? Maybe?

Although, when he leans back into his seat, helmet still trained on your face, you are unsure if you’re actually pissing him off or not.

“Say what you mean.” 

Okay, the sexy is mixing a little with anxiety. 

“Ah- Um well, I just mean like. It’s not like you hid it from me- everyone else too. In the company. Ran’s company? ‘Cause, I- We… always overheard you and Xi’a- Her…” Fuck, your mouth is so dry that last part came out like a squeak. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling again um, I kinda thought you were doing it on purpose. With Xi’an. Making me hear when you’d...fuck her.” Cheeks blazing, you duck your head back down, which doesn’t help at all since you’re just face to face with his crotch once more. 

    “You say ‘always’...” Mando’s inflection is lost somewhere between statement and question, his tone confusing enough that you end up lifting your head from its bowed position below him. 

“Y-yes?”

“As in this was a common position you found yourself in? Did you overhear me multiple times?” Now he poses not one but two questions for you, neither of which you feel brave enough to answer steadily. You can’t deflect further at this point so you answer him with a sigh.

“No, I only heard you once. Xi’an always wanted me to hear her though. It was gross.” Mortified, you gather your legs under your body to stand up from the floor. You think the hyperdrive issue is fixed well enough to hold until Nevarro. When your hand reaches for the edge of the armrest to pull yourself up it is abruptly enveloped in warm leather. Half crouched, your arm jerks back a little in surprise at his touch. 

“I wasn’t asking about myself specifically. And I wouldn’t force you to participate in her games, had I known.”

Maker strike my ass down. Can humans die from embarrassment? You wish it were possible if it got you out of this conversation. He’s correct, he didn’t specify whether you had heard his moaning. If you weren’t nursing these stupid feelings for Mando you never would’ve given away the fact that you memorized every tantalizing second of what you overheard. Not only is this embarrassing, but you don’t want him to think you’re a sicko who wanted to eavesdrop in the first place. The clarification about his awareness of Xi'an's timing is comforting but not enough to erase what you already admitted to him. You somehow feel sweaty and bone-dry at the same time, a flush spreading over your face.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I heard you too.”

You both speak at the same second, and a beat passes before either of you process what the other said. He- what? What is he talking about? Are we having two totally different conversations right now? When did you ever fuck someone on that space station anyway… unless he means… in the fresher…

This time he is the one who breaks the silence, “You’re sorry for… overhearing me?” 

“Y-yes, I really, really, don’t want you to think I’m a creep or anything. Anything I heard was involuntary, I swear. Xi’an w-wanted to make me… Um…” You trail off shyly, sitting down again. His hand is still over yours.

“Get to the point.” His voice is filled with heat now, so low and compelling that you’d tell him anything just to keep it that way. You whisper your response, lifting your eyes to his dark visor wishing you could meet his gaze.

“She wanted to make me jealous. Over you.”

“Mm… You wanted me instead?”

“Maker, yes.”

The climate between you and the Mandalorian made a 180. Nerves dissolving like honey in tea, all at once being taken over by a hum of sexual tension while his fingers caress a warm pattern over your knuckles. Exhilaration builds within you, though in the back of your mind you are calculating the possible motives behind his advance. 

You know sometimes, after a particularly rough day, people are compelled to relieve their pent-up stress through intimacy. There’s a reason why the market of sex work thrives under wartime, terror existing constantly in a fighter’s life must be paired with the softer, inner-most comforts of knowing another living being, or they’d go mad with sorrow. Brothels made a lot of money during the last stages of the Empire’s rule from both Imps, Rebels, and neutral parties alike.

It’s not out of the ordinary for you to seek each other out right now, yet can’t help but dream that this might mean more. 

The Mandalorian’s hand currently encasing yours flips your wrist to trace the lines of your palm. Sighing you tilt your head to the side, a curtain of hair cascading across your features. His free hand reaches out to brush the strands away before he gently grips your jaw, hand large enough to press his thumb on the front of your chin while his fingers wrap lightly under your ear. 

“I heard you too, pretty girl. You called out for me in the fresher… just what were you doing in there? Describe it- please.” He speaks with such allure that you break under his voice, pressing your cheek to his palm.

    “I-I thought of you watching me while I touched my pussy. I was so wet thinking about how I want you to feel me after being under all your armor, Stars, even the wind can’t touch you Mando. I thought about how you must crave the feeling of something so soft… can I show you how soft I am?” Your free hand raises to rest gently on his knee, fingertips hesitating at the edge of his thigh piece. He is still fully suited for battle, explosives strapped to one boot and rifle across his shoulders. 

You wish so badly to help him unwind, you would never disrespect him by trying to remove his armor, but you want to help him move past the experience that was Cantonica. Mando continues to stare at you for several tense seconds before melting into your touch.

“H-helmet stays on.” He breathes out shakily, a slight tremor running through his legs as your fingers lightly explore the fabric under the edge of the piece of metal. “But the rest… the rest can come off.” 

He’s already moving to undo the magnetic connectors holding his cuirass in place so you scramble to follow his movements. The rust-colored armor on his body has complex enough attachments that you don’t really know where to begin. Your hands clamber around, mostly following his deft movements. Slowly a man of flesh and blood is revealed, and as his impenetrable exterior melts away you find the true shape of him. 

The armor serves to add a few inches of bulk on his features, enhanced proportions making out a dramatic silhouette designed to be spotted from miles away. Without it his body is still so powerful, built hard as stone and broad, hard angles melding enticingly with a hidden softness. Not hidden- you realize -it compliments him completely. The pieces fall away and you’re left with the unexplored bareness of him. He is human and warm, evidence of this betrayed in rare moments where his hands travel lightly up your arms while you work at his pauldrons, brushing through your hair here and there before finally returning to your jaw to hover in front of your lips. 

“Off.” He instructs shortly, brushing the seam of his thumb over your bottom lip. Your mouth falls open to explore him with your tongue, tasting salt, blaster residue, and a hint of the heat he holds in his body. Satisfied, you bite down gently on the glove ridge, watching as he pulls off the leather encasing his hand and drinking in the sight of golden skin as it is revealed to you inch by inch. All you’ve seen of him is one bare hand and somehow it is the sexiest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Flames lick your body, spreading from your white-hot core, energy gathering with such impassioned motions that at any second now it will burst from your skin, a reaction so immense that you could birth another galaxy.

You want to taste his skin too.

“Fuck baby-” You take his middle finger down to the knuckle, emboldened by his slurred reaction, noises startling to babble out of the bounty hunter as his stoicism falls apart under your tongue. Humming around the digit, you start to bob your head gently, eyes locked on his impassive visor while filthy, filtered noises drift through the beskar. It’s like there is no barrier at all between you, the air thrumming with a longing so great that you feel one with the man crumbling before you. If you're not careful you will fall with him. 

“Mando, Plea-se,” You stutter around him, voice shaking more than intended. “I want to f-feel more of you, let me touch you, please-” You squawk, mouth empty when he suddenly rips off the other glove, tossing it behind him before reaching down his torso to pull the hem of his trousers south. You gulp in trepidation, unable to tear your eyes away as enticing dark hair displays itself, leading to the base of his cock. He pauses, but you’re so caught up in discovering him that you don’t notice the tonal shift.

“Before I show you this-” dark words enunciated by palming his cock through the fabric, “I need to know where to put it.” 

What kind of question is that? You’re honestly bewildered, mind blank before you realize that the options are overwhelming. In his own way, he is asking you to verbalize consent, which is very much appreciated. You want him in your pussy, to work his way deep in your body and in turn, discover just how human you are... yet… You feel oddly unprepared. It’s not that you don't think you can take him, in fact you can't recall ever being this wet in your life. It’s just… after today… you want to help him unwind but you’re still not fully there. You still want to please him, but you’re not ready to let him know you that way, not until you come back to yourself. 

So in that case…

“I want you in my mouth, hunter.” 

Mando growls then grabs your wrist, guiding it over the edge of fabric and onto his throbbing length. He shudders while you process the feeling of him. He is thick, the width of his cock so wide that your middle finger and thumb are straining to meet each other. You release him from his pants then try to pull at the hem to wiggle them down his thighs. He obliges and lifts his hips so that you can reveal more delicious olive skin, but he makes no move to assist you with his hands. You get the feeling that he is drinking in your efforts to touch him, the sensation of your jerky movements giving away how much you want him. 

You kiss and nibble at every possible moment, one hand drifting lightly over the length of him, twirling at the base dusted with short, dark hairs, cupping his balls then moving back up, your mouth traveling to meet your fingers. Hissing, his hand flashes up to meet the back of your head, fingers tangling in strands to tug tightly on your scalp. With a light moan, you tongue along the side of him, teasing hot air more than actually licking him. 

“Look at me- fuck - pretty thing, s-so fucking willing for me, I want to see you take my cock as far as you can, s-show me how much you can handle-” He pulls harder at your hair, dragging you roughly enough to control your neck, back up from where you were sucking at his hip to the head of his dick. “Are you going to show me yourself before or after I gag you on it?”

Fuck, you never realized how tantalizing submitting to another person could be, not until that came out of his mouth, rough enough to clip through the modulator. You elect to show him what you can handle. Leaning forward to meet the swollen tip, you part your plush lips and kiss at the drop of precum gathered there, before relaxing your jaw to take him halfway. He groans and nearly doubles over at the sudden sensation, holding you there for a second before you draw back up to spread your saliva more thoroughly. Lips rewet, you sink back down on him, gliding smoothly as you pull his cock deep within your mouth, drinking in his breathy groans.

“Maker, yes … that’s it, fuck-” You attempt to sink even further down on the Mandalorian’s impressive length, but stop short a few inches from his base, blunt head pressing in your throat. “-so good, s-so good for me baby, you look perfect like this.”

He’s so far back inside you that you can’t access your vocal cords to produce any noise at all, otherwise you’d be whining at his praise. Your hands are free to assist you at any time, you could circumvent his daunting length if you wanted help. But you want to impress him. Besides, your palms are warm on his torso, traveling under his shirt to feel the ropes of muscle there. You don’t want to remove them. 

You surface to the tip, taking a deep breath in preparation before ducking to take him as deep as you can manage. He watches you, entranced at the sight of a face so lovingly strained to please him. Your gag reflex spasms but you will it away, determined to fully engulf his cock at least once even if you find you’re unable to handle more. The noises rising from your throat are brutal and raw as you choke around him, his helmet blurring when tears fill your eyes. You bob a little then almost give up when the urge to retreat floods your senses but then he starts talking again- so filthy that you can’t stop yet.

“You’re trying so fucking hard, fuck, I love seeing you wrapped around my cock, Maker, you feel so fucking good, I can’t imagine how your little pussy must feel, you’re so warm, so, fu-fuck, tight…” The stream of filth serves as your motivation to bob for as long as possible on his length, throat stretched obscenely around him. You realize hazily that there are tears streaming from your eyes, but the urge to pull off is lost in dizziness as the oxygen in your lungs depletes. You keep going and going, your high at its peak as you recognize that your body is starting to fade in black. You should pull off and breathe, one quick breath is all you need, but the way he’s filling you is more addicting than the purest Spice. He notices when you start to slump into his lap and pulls you up gasping for air. 

Nearly fainting never felt so good.

“Shit, are you alright?” You nod and rest your cheek on his thigh, face turned on its side to meet his visor as he spins little circles in your vision. A soothing hand brushes against your cheekbone, tracing a gentle pattern on its height. “You were doing so good for me baby. No need to hurt yourself.” Mando’s voice is still breathless, offering you tenderness through a cloud of stimuli.

“I’m okay- I’m… I just need to catch m-my breath.” You’re still heaving unevenly but you want him so bad, you want him to finish for you, your wants translating into weak pawing at his dick trying to give him more sensation. He catches your wrist with an airy laugh and guides your uncoordinated movements to better stroke him. The sound fills you with light.

“Pretty thing, I know you want me. Try to not die on my dick before I’ve had the chance to feel your cunt.” His hand leaves yours on his length and reaches over your ass to cup the apex of your thighs through your pants. You jerk up and almost crack the crown of your head open on the chin of his beskar but his other palm is pressed between your shoulder blades, keeping you bent over in his lap. A garbled noise tears from you when his index and ring finger spread on either side of your outer lips, allowing his middle finger space to travel up and down your seam, so wet that you can feel the slickness gathering through two layers of fabric onto the tip of his finger.

“Ah, Fuck! Mando, I-I- wait please, please, wait-” He draws his hand up away from your wet center, reaching your asscheek before you yelp and snatch his forearm to stop him from retreating farther. “I s-still wanna, I wanna make you come. You first, before-before me.”

“Baby, you’re… fuck okay. Can I still touch you?” Mando caresses your hip at the fold where it meets your thigh. 

“Later, let me d-do this, please.” He allows you to lift his arm from your spine and rest it on the crown of your head as you move forward and try to meet his cock again. Pulling his thighs to the edge of the chair, you settle back on your knees and stroking him one-handed while he hums low in his throat. You wrap your lips around the swollen head, sucking and swirling your tongue before taking him deeper, this time using a palm to stroke the last few inches instead of opening your throat. Starting up a rhythm of bopping and stroking his velvety length that pulls incredible noises out of the Mandalorian, each one going straight to your swollen clit. 

Coming up for air you start to jerk him off faster with your slick hand, meeting the T of his visor with your heated gaze, hoping that you are finding his eyes. He must enjoy the sight of you jerking him off because his moans start to tighten, hips thrusting into your palm. 

“K-keep fucking doing that, good girl, fuck I-I’m close, where-where do you want it, baby?” You respond by settling low near his thighs, putting his cock above you with your tongue sticking out, wetting the tip while your wrist moves faster. Somehow he’s harder than ever and-

Mando curses through his teeth as his cock convulses, warm spurts of cum painting your tongue, cheeks, and nose bridge, rivers of him flowing down your chin and dribbling on the swell of your chest. He grips the back of your head tight enough to hurt, then rips one hand down to stroke himself, smearing the mess across your features. 

The fingers on your scalp loosen then graciously begin rubbing at the base of your neck to soothe the soreness on your head. One of your eyelids is sealed shut due to a rope of his cum crossing from nose to eyebrow, the other eye unfocused, hazy with pleasure as you listen to him come down from his peak. A low noise rises from your throat as he massages your scalp, feeling tingly all over as blood flows back to the area.

“T-Thank you… that was great, I-“ he breaks off when you start to gather his cum off your skin, licking it off your fingers while studying his visor through your lashes. “Hey, let me…” 

He surprises you by wiping at your face with his cape, still hanging off the arm of the pilot chair from when you detached it. You giggle, “Is there a way to wash that on here? I can’t even tell if that hole in the wall includes a shower.” 

“There’s enough to work with.” 

You laugh louder at that, “That’s encouraging. I hope there’s ‘enough to work with’ so that I don’t meet Karga covered in cum.” Pausing to consider your current position, you add, “Actually, that might help my case.” 

Face wiped mostly clean, you're able to open both eyes now, taking in his posture. A jolt shoots through you when you realize he’s holding himself differently for some reason, he looks almost predatory but maybe that’s just the effect of Beskar’s harsh angles... Nope, he’s leaning forward now, caging you in again.  

“You want to look sexy for Karga?” Gulping, you try to figure out the best response but he continues before your slow-ass mind can catch up, “You’re right, that might help you get better pucks. But I don’t know if I want my hunting partner to be introduced that way. I still need to return the favor…” 

He lifts your body with ease, pulling you sideways onto his lap. Mando’s warm hand slides along the bend in your knee, slow and sensual on your body. He caresses you aimlessly, relaxed in the afterglow of cumming so hard. You’re still tightly wound, energy balled in your body as his movements serve to wind you up even more. But he’s not moving any faster so you relax into his broad chest, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin. 

Time blurs with your senses. His touch pulls you to a place right out of your daydreams, where everything is draped in velveteen and silk. You’ve honestly forgotten his original goal in the first place, and as his arm begins to drag on its path, it seems like he has too. The stroking on your arm has lowered your arousal to a simmer, leaving you content to stay laying across his lap, the glow of hyperspace streaking over your bodies. All at once, you realize he’s no longer moving over your body, his chest rising and falling deeply against your shoulder. 

He’s asleep. Surprise registers sleepily somewhere in your exhausted mind, the realization behind layers of warm fuzz. Didn’t even think he slept. 

There’s a full day of travel until you reach Nevarro. Snuggling closer into the warm crook of his neck to resolve to live in this dream for as long as possible. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

[nevertheless-moving]

Misunderstanding Meta

So this started out as tags on Misunderstanding 17 but got meta enough that i started wondering if it was getting into spoiler territory? also it was just too many words.

there’s no future chapter spoilers specifically but this might remove some of the mystery around ongoing and future character conflicts. im explicitly stating some stuff that might be better enjoyed sub textually but u do u.

anyway read below if you don’t mind a premature little navel gazing but maybe hold off if you’d rather just enjoy the story as is. probably only makes sense within the context of that chapter cause again it started as tags. 

Thank you everyone for all your support and lovely comments I really really enjoy them!! I’m so glad people are enjoying the story its genuinely making it so much more fun for me! W R I T I N G, who knew!

~ TLDR: General star wars meta and VERY vague suicidal misunderstandings spoilers below the cut so read at your own peril. nsfw.~

-

It’s important to me that people understand we’ve reached the point in the story where anakin would ABSOLUTELY murder anyone Obi-Wan told him to without a shred of evidence (except for two people, one of which is unfortunately the actual Sith master).

(like if Obi-Wan had been the one to say ‘kill him’ on the bridge of the Invisible Hand Anakin would NOT have hesitated to decapitate)

i guess its not THAT different from canon but its still kind of fucked up that I’ve gotten them to where Anakin would happily bring Obi-Wan Yoda’s corpse like a cat with a dead bird.

he doesn’t even have a lightsaber! and he's fond of yoda! but if Obi-Wan asked him to he would strangle that troll with his bare hands!

the specific combination here of Obi-Wan’s active reciprocation of familial love and also (unintentionally but still!) inspiring real fear that Obi-Wan might vanish at any second due to Anakin’s rage issues and a murky unseen threat means his whole relationship with Obi-Wan has taken the natural step to where Obi-Wan is the one (1) person both capable of AND willing to direct that unhinged capacity for violence. 

And I for one am a fan of them both growing VERY aware of that and also comfortable with it to a certain extent.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO MESSED UP AND LOVING AND CODEPENDENT I LOVE IT

(presumably with some real therapy and soul searching this could all deescalate but we are SO not at the point right now)

The other side of all this is that Obi-Wan is seriously the ONLY one capable of directing that violence. Anakin doesn’t have that many coping mechanisms and now he’s so afraid that his dad/brother is going to go to the corner store for death sticks and not come back he will refrain from using his favorite one without permission.

(im talking about murder btw)

(that’s the coping mechanism)

so that’s, you know. good?????

(honestly theres a limit to far this nonsense can deescalate because on a fundamental level Anakin just goes WAY too hard and has so many neuroses that it would be kindof impossible for him to have a conventionally healthy relationship with anyone without REALLY altering some of his most basic character traits)

(and...i don’t know. healthy is fluid? i feel like if you KNOW you’re bad at morals is it really so bad to outsource them? to someone better qualified. the biggest ethical problem to me there is its an unreasonable emotional burden to put on obi-wan, but after the specific shit he’s been through i can see that weight actually kind of comforting even if he might feel a tad guilty over having that much control. i think what makes it sustainable to me is that obi-wan is establishing early on that there are NO consequences for violating the code. the fact that he’s willing to move so completely past CHILD MURDER AND GENOCIDE means he’s batshit crazy for anakin. so basically anakin gets to establish that he can exit the covenant at any time. its like how the potential for quitting makes a job a job instead of slavery and how the potential for divorce makes marriage marriage instead of slavery)

(but the job/marriage in this case is listening to obi wan kenobi when he says no murder so you know what MAYBE we shouldn’t evaluate it by the benchmarks of a normal relationship anyway jeez nevertheless moving on)

(seriously not even Palpatine ever got this much control cause Vader still murdered at Vader’s orders)

(And Padme is seeking out a relationship just healthy enough to not involve ACTIVELY holding that much of her husband’s autonomy. i mean. she does have that power. but the continued queenly conscious choice NOT to exercise it is almost sweet)

(i am aware that justifying padme and anakins relationship from a conventional lens requires some mental backflips but darn it i saw some really hot fanart of her pegging the shit out of him and also he doesnt think of her as a parental figure so if i want to say padme is just the right amount of crazy to maintain a stable relationship with anakin skywalker than that’s what im going to do.)

 (but i digress)

[inventors-fair]

Archetypography

Now as some of you know, and as some of you loathe, I’m a pretty cruel B/W player at times. I got my Kambal EDH deck with all the wipes and draw and the double-infinite combo nonsense. And when I look up the B/W archetypes, things seems to fall into that vein pretty reasonably. Let’s be real: if it were aether instead of gold/treasure, Kambal as a character would be right at home among the Orzhov. Even the card wouldn’t feel out of place. There’s this recurring flavor of these aloof, authoritarian, self-satisfactory religious characters on so many B/W cards across sets. The vampires from Ixalan had an amazing feel but were still religious zealots. Innistradian vampires retain arrogant nobility.

So then we get to Silverquill. And honestly, I’m on the fence about this one, y’know? I’m a poet myself, and when playing a strong Silverquill deck, I’m still feeling more of the smug spirit wrangler than any kind of writer. I mean, Humiliate is a prime example. +1/+1 counters and pseudo-heroic is fun and fine. I’m just not sure it’s different enough.

But here’s the thing: it was new flavorful territory. It was still fun to play! And on the flip-side of my hesitation, Closing Statement was my favorite card to draft from that set for sure. It meshed the mechanics and the flavor of a closing remark plus the power of a reduced destruction spell. Awesome! So the question is: what will you write about? 

🛠 This week’s challenge: design a card that captures a unique flavorful feel for a color combination, an archetype that has not been seen in those colors before either flavorfully or mechanically.

✏️ NB: A winning submission will take their colors, find that unique new archetype, and demonstrate how mechanics/flavor can be presented.

✏️ You are designing for a standard-legal set, with the knowledge that your card will inform a draft archetype as well. You can choose to make this a supporting card, a bomb, a signpost, etc.

✏️ While you don’t have to completely dump your lore for a new plane, an as-of-yet-unseen world will probably be implied. Let your card speak to it as much as possible.

Printed examples:

Throne of Eldraine’s UR archetype was about drawing your second card each turn. Cards like Loch Dragon supported the primary signpost cards like Improbably Alliance. While Improbable Alliance plays well with Radical Idea and the love of U/R looting, the second-drawn-card archetype stands separate from traditional U/R spellcasting niches that define the Izzet and found their way onto planes like Ikoria (Lutri, the Spellchaser) and Amonkhet (Enigma Drake). Improbable Alliance is a good mechanical example with decent flavor.

Captured by Lagacs takes place, presumably, on Zendikar (considering), although Modern Horizons 2 doesn’t take place in a singular location. Regardless, Pacifism effects aren’t usually G/W but have edged there before, and with white it’s totally mechanically fine. The counters are a nice touch. My favorite part, though, the most memorable part? The flavor. Your creature, on this world, is getting whisked away by my lizards, my power. It’s a unique demonstration of that effect where it’s usually chains or magical restraints or someone arresting you. Animals as bonds and power! Captured by Lagacs isn’t the most mechanically unique, but it’s a great new flavor.

Your challenge then becomes: how do I marry the two?

What world have I created?

What can my colors do together and/or apart?

What’s fun to play?

What limits do I have to set?

How am I conveying flavor through mechanics without it being a gimmick?

This is another hard one, but I mean, there are 15 20, oh my god, I can’t count, combinations between two-and-three color combos. I’ll be curious to see if there’s overlap between people who aren’t in the Workshop.

Anyway. Have fun in your own way~ - @abelzumi​

>> The below link will take you to our Discord server. >> The above link will take you to the submission page.