#GAH. THERE IS. SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE

[moe-broey]

My "Not a full thought" post about Emblems now being able to exist in Askr and the potential of timeline fuckery is coming back to haunt me.

@iamdarkness BUT I really did wanna reply to this more in-depth esp to have context on the Engage side of things as well! And tbh it could be a really interesting thing to dig into, I just feel a bit out of my depth about it (the FEH autism does not extend far past Askr. If I'm entirely honest 🧍)

Hoping to clear the air on some things! Such as, Elyios (Engage) is separate from Askr/Zenith (FEH)! All the Emblems have their own "domains", in the form of a paralogue/map that's modeled after the respective Emblem's world. For story Emblems, you unlock these as you collect the rings, and for the DLC Emblems, that's how you recruit them. Unsure what this says about Elyios itself, if these maps are like. Pocket dimensions that are replicas of that Emblem's world or what. Given what I vaguely know about Emblem lore I'm gonna say replicas.

This is Askr's!

Which, is interesting that it Is Askr, because it's Emblem Veronica's domain.

But honestly I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself, because even before the DLC came out, I was under the impression that Engage took place after all FEs were said and done, timeline wise. Given the nature of the Emblems, and the set up of the story starting off "1000 years ago" (and that was just to set up the story of Engage! So it has been A While).

One thing (that feels very loose canon-wise) that made me feel Engage is after FEH is because, not only are there Bond Rings of the Askr trio, but their weapons are here too! This was a promotional thing, but. It's There

Something worth noting, is that Bond Rings are different than Emblems. They don't have a spirit in them, that's as animated as the Emblems anyway... they give small stat bonuses, and are of characters that are related to any given Emblem (so, Corrin has a collection of Fates characters for Bond Rings, ect). This Does have an interesting result where there's an overlap between some DLC Emblems and Bond Rings. Cases being, there's Emblem Camilla and a Camilla Bond Ring that's connected to Emblem Corrin -- and, this happened to Edelgard/Dimitri/Claude too! Each of them having Bond Rings connected to Byleth, and also becoming their own Emblems in the Get Along Bracelet LMFAO (all three of them are in there. It goes about as well as you'd expect.)

But I am. Getting a little distracted.

EMBLEM VERONICA

One line that stands out to me is Alear (named Milo here) saying he hasn't heard of Askr before. But like if I think about that too much my head might explode and also Alear was previously comatose for 1000 slutty slutty years. So. Take it or leave it, whatever this is implying

Also, interestingly, she takes the form of her post Book 6 look -- but there's some odd inconsistencies, like her personality being more young Veronica, and also, mentions of Bruno as if he was still missing in action and not. Well. You know. (I'd have to dig further into Bond convos for examples, which tbh may be a worthwhile endeavor! But for now Take My Word For It Please this is already so all over the place 🥲)

But the main reason I wanted to emphasize that dialogue (aside from it being interesting, to say the least), is how Alear doesn't know about Askr as a whole. And, in Alear/Alfonse Forging Bonds:

WHICH.... AGAIN.......... MADE ME FEEL LIKE. With everything going on in Engage, the Bond Rings of Alfonse/Sharena/Anna, their Respective Signature Weapons (feels particularly damning) and Emblem Veronica. It felt like, what happens in Elyios is something that has Yet to Happen. And that, Askr as we know it, has been long gone.

But then...... everything with the Katarina/Kris FBs............ how Kris was only able to be summonable because Katarina and Marth told their story............. and how it's just the Emblems that are specifically mentioned as Not Having Info on, not Alear herself or her friends. My head hurds so bad.

LIKE...... I GUESS???? My initial thoughts on "Oh yeah that makes sense the Emblems don't exist in Askr" was that they Didn't Exist Yet. Aughh but then ...... in-universe, wouldn't the same be true for. Anyone from "the future". Or does it just apply to ghostly jewelry apparitions. Because we KNOW that option isn't true, it's shown/stated that Kiran comes from a modern world like ours, and there's also the Tokyo Mirage Sessions idols. Maybe the Emblem thing WAS just a Kris case, but that feels SO ODD. Like the Emblems are intrinsic to Elyios it seems. Why wouldn't the Askr library, chock full of information about the various worlds and lives of Heroes, Not Have That Info??? Especially with royalty like Lumera (Alear's mom) having close ties with specific Emblems (Sigurd). And also off the top my head that's a REOCCURRING thing, that the royal families in Engage Are entrusted with specific Emblems that are passed down/protected across generations. Celica with Céline/Firene, Lyn with Alcryst/Brodia, to name a few. It just seems SO strange, because it Feels Like it would be basic information about the world of Elyios.

CONCLUSION?????

My head hurds so bad. Net zero information. I'm so sorry. I hope this helped!!!!!!!!! 😇🫡

[pissfizz]

Dude yesterday/last night was the most teenagery I’ve ever felt and I’m gonna have cliche teenager mall trip with my other friends later this week too and I’m so happy like I never get to do stuff like this and it’s never this. Fun. Im very happy right now

[captainwinterrsoldierr]

Could you do an Apollo x reader and the reader is insecure over his past relationships and affairs and is like scared he’s gonna leave her? Bonus points if he’s her first boyfriend and she’s a daughter of poseidon. Btw I really love your writing!!

Absolutely and Ty for the req!!🫶🏽 this is a semi long one!

Title: Am I Enough?

Apollo x Fem!Reader

You paced around your cabin. Anxiety and Fear is what you felt in this moment. You should’ve felt so happy. But apart of you felt selfish. Apart of you wanted Apollo to stay as Lester. But he was back to Apollo. The great and mighty Apollo. The one known to be sworn to staying single so he can go from person to person. Ugh why did you have to fall in love with him why? Apollo just left the camp and he had promised you he’d be back tomorrow. He had other people to visit now that he was a god again

You bit your lip and felt your heart ache. Why wasn’t Percy here? You needed him more than anything. You grabbed a coin from the fountain in your Poseidon cabin. You sat on your bed and decided to Iris Message your brother. You grabbed your glass prism and created the rainbow and used your water bending to spew mist.

You giggled half heartedly at the scene. Percy was running around with cardboard boxes in his dorm. “Hi brother.” You said.

“Gah!” He yelled he dropped his box and slipped on a notebook on the ground. You winced, “sorry!”

He got up and finally saw the iris message, “seriously not used to seeing a floating face of my sister in my room,” he muttered. You smiled, “sorry sorry.” He scratched his head and smiled his troublemaker smile at you, “what’s up sis you ok?”

You nodded with no confidence, “yea yea just ya know checking up on ya.” He raised his eyebrows at you, “I know you and I know you’re lying what’s up?”

You teared up at the question, “I just- you know Apollo is back and I’m just feeling insecure I guess. I know he claims he loves me and wants to be with me but… I feel sad knowing his past. I’m scared he’ll go back to that.”

Percy pursed his lips, “listen I can threaten him for you, I mean listen sister he’s not the one if he does that to you ok. If it means anything I can sense he’s changed. He seems better than he was 7 months ago. You can ask him to subdue any bad feelings or if you want I can threaten him.”

You smiled and shook your head, “no no it’s fine just needed to let that out. You’re right. thank you Percy I’ll ask him tomorrow how he feels now.”

Percy nodded, “of course sister but if he makes a wrong step let me know and I’ll have blackjack knock him on the side of the head ya know for entertainment purposes.”

You smacked your forehead, “I love you loser have fun unpacking and tell Annabeth I said hello!” You waved goodbye and the message dissolved.

‘Everything will be ok’ You thought.

-

The next morning you were eating at the pavilion when he landed. He landed gracefully in his sun chariot. Gorgeous as ever. You nervously got up and walked over to him.

“There she is my beautiful girl!” He proudly said. You smiled weakly as he gave you a kiss on your cheek.

“Can we talk?” You asked. His eyebrows raised in immediate concern.

“Of- of course darling where shall we go?” You waved over and walked to the beach. You paced the shallow end. Water always calmed you. It always made you feel collected and at ease.

You heard Apollo gulp, “is something the matter my love?” You grimaced at the word love. You rubbed your hand on the back of your neck. You felt the words choking to come out. “Do you actually love me Apollo?”

He looked offended by the question and you felt your heart ache. “Am I the sun god? Of course I love you y/n! I love you so much my heart aches. Why do you ask such a thing did I do something wrong?”

You turned and gazed towards the water, “I know it may seem like I am confident in relationships. People always tell me ‘wow you’re so beautiful you must have a lot of people fawning over you’ but the truth is Apollo. You’re my first boyfriend. A god is my first boyfriend. It’s crazy isn’t it? And well I just know your history and you’re a god again and”-

Apollo grabbed you gently by your shoulders and pulled you into a hug. You felt yourself crying into him. He rubbed his hand on top of your head. He pulled you away and caressed your face. He wiped away your tears with his thumb. His blue eyes stared into your and you felt your worries melt away. “I promise you until the ends of this earth that I am yours and all yours. I will never look at any person the way I look at you darling.”

Your lip quivered, “really?”

He nodded and smiled, “you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried you’re stuck with me my love.”

You smiled. And threw your arms around his neck. He lifted you so effortlessly and your legs wrapped around his waist. “Gods I love you,” he whispered. He kissed you with so much want. It was everything and more. He was yours and you were his. The water behind you stirred as you two kissed. You felt it move as the kiss went longer. Your emotions had that affect on water. And you were feeling really in love in this moment. He peppered kisses on your neck, your cheeks even your forehead.

You pulled away and smiled, “I will say though if you ever hurt me I will get my brother on you.”

Apollo laughed and kissed your neck, “fully noted.”

You two continued to laugh and kiss feeling blissful.

[staytheword]

make it a home

make it a home — one shot request by @allypasta 💚 [ general masterlist ]

• changbin x gn reader.

• non idol au. established relationship. fluff. domestic stuff. cuddling. no smut. a little suggestive. use of "babe" and "baby".

• word count: 3k

Your boyfriends wants to travel with you. But first, he wants to make your place a real home.

• note: the request was "an absurd amount of fluff", that is, "so much fluff it hurts". I don't know if it does, but I've definitely hurt myself with the fluff. GAH. I hope you like it and thank you for the sweet request <3

You ease yourself in Changbin’s arms, your nose grazing his skin. Your head is nestled in the crook of his neck, his body enveloping yours. On the television is a random travel show that you’ve put on to fill the room with noise. You are too busy cuddling to really pay attention to it, appreciating your boyfriend’s warmth and the steady movement of his chest as he breathes. He’s just come out of the shower, so his skin smells of soap and body wash, and his hair is damp, curling messily on his head. He’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, as well as the wool socks you’ve given him recently because he kept complaining his feet were always cold. You’re wearing a hoodie as well, one of his, that smells of his aftershave, the black material soft against your skin. 

When Changbin’s voice erupts from the quiet, you realize you’ve been dozing off on his shoulder. 

“We should go there,” he says. His eyes are fixed on the television so you figure that unlike you, he’s been paying attention to the show. 

You glance at the screen, watching the host wander around the streets of a European city, and smile softly. “You think?” 

Changbin nods. “Looks beautiful. And I’ve never been to that part of the world.” 

“Me neither,” you admit. “I’ve never been anywhere, actually.” 

Your life has never really allowed you to travel - but you’ve been able to save some money recently, and the dream actually feels like a possibility. 

You shiver as Changbin places a kiss on the top of your head. “I want to go there with you,” he whispers, his voice low, like he wants the words to only belong to you. “You can wear your yellow sunglasses… We can eat ice cream all day.” 

“I think our bellies would hurt, baby,” you chuckle, cupping his cheek in your hand, caressing his face. 

He pouts, but his smile isn’t far, and he leans it to steal a tender kiss from your lips. You hum as his hand slides around your neck to settle on the back of your head, holding it gently. His other hand is still settled on the small of your back, sneaked under your hoodie to touch your skin.

“Your hands are warm,” you whisper to him. 

“Yours aren’t,” he chuckles. 

You exchange a few kisses, Changbin playing with your hair, your body relaxing even further against his, and you swear you could fall asleep right there. Changbin leans back after a while, tightening his arms around you, pulling you closer. Your limbs are intertwined on the couch, the lights are dim, and the curtains are drawn to shield you from the outside. Safe. Warm.

“But before we go away, there’s something we have to do,” Changbin says decidedly, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger. 

“Hmm, what?” 

“We need to make this place our own,” he answers, one of his hands gesturing to the apartment surrounding you. “We’ve barely settled in since we moved.” 

You take a long look around. You have to admit he’s right - you might have unpacked all of your boxes, but your things look like they were just thrown here and there without any real thought. You know there are paintings you have to hang up, small renovations you’ve wanted to take care of for a while. But you moved in the middle of a hectic period and everything seemed like it could wait - except months have gone by and you haven’t made it a home yet. 

“I know I was supposed to take care of the bookshelves weeks ago…” you admit sheepishly. 

Changbin sits up a little to take a better look at you, shaking his head. “It’s just not on you, babe. How about we do this together? We’ll move the furniture around, maybe paint… Get some house plants.”

You laugh, nodding your head. “Hm… I like it. Although I’m sure our house plants would die very quickly.” 

Changbin shrugs. “Then let’s kill house plants together.” 

You snort. “How romantic you are, Seo Changbin.” 

“You know me,” he smirks, pulling you back into his arms. 

He covers one of your cheeks with kisses and it quickly starts tickling, so you cry out, struggling to get out of his grasp, but he’s stronger than you. You giggle hysterically as you beg him to stop - and of course, he doesn’t.

The next weekend, you wake up early and spend more than an hour at the local hardware store choosing a new color for your bedroom walls. Changbin wants yellow, you want blue, so you eventually settle on a mint green. When you get home, you move most of the furniture of your bedroom, leaving the bed and covering it with plastic. You slip on old t-shirts, put on your favorite playlist on the bluetooth speaker, and you spend the afternoon singing along and painting the walls. It takes much longer than it should, of course, because Changbin and you keep teasing each other, painting hearts and messages instead of doing it appropriately. 

By the end of the afternoon only the first layer is done, your sides and cheeks hurt from laughing, and you’re starving. You prepare two bowls of fried rice as Changbin folds the laundry, and you eat as you brainstorm a possible new disposition for your living room. Caught up in your project, you almost forget to finish your bowls. 

Hours later you fall back on the couch, appreciating your hard work. The room feels much more cozy this way. You are exhausted, and after cuddling in front of the television for a while, you decide to head to bed. 

“Oh…” you let out, stopping in front of your bedroom. 

The bed is still covered in plastic, the room smelling of fresh paint. You peck your lips, turning to Changbin. 

“We can’t sleep in there,” you moan, putting a hand against your forehead. “What are we going to do?” 

Changbin is frowning, nibbling at his lips. Then, he gives you a smirk and lifts an index. 

“I have an idea. Go get ready, I’ll prepare everything.” 

He gives you a quick kiss, and you watch him walk away excitedly. You decide to let him surprise you like he wants - he loves to do such things - and you head to the bathroom. After your daily routine of skincare, you brush your teeth. Your dresser is in the hallway, and you change into your pajamas before heading over to the living room. 

“Can I come in?” you ask, smiling. 

“Yeah!” 

You enter the living room, gasping slightly. Changbin has removed the couch cushions to put them down on the floor and has covered them with what seems like all the blankets you own. The lamp is off, and only the string lights illuminate the room. With all the pillows and cushions, the setting looks incredibly cozy. You grin, meeting Changbin’s expecting gaze. 

“That’s so perfect, Bin,” you say to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You press your nose against his firm chest - if there’s one thing you’ll never get tired of, it’s the way Changbin hugs you.

He hugs you back, his cheek squished against your head. “I’m glad you like it, babe.” 

You ask yourself how you got so lucky. Ever since your first date, Changbin has been the romantic type. You expected it to sizzle out at some point, but even after more than a year together, it still hasn’t. He keeps surprising you, being attentive, imaginative, and thoughtful. 

Changbin moves a little, unwrapping his arms from around you, but you grab his shirt, letting out a soft groan. 

“Nope,” you whisper. “You’re not going anywhere.” 

He laughs, and his body vibrates against yours. “I just need to get changed, babe, okay? Then we can cuddle.” 

You pout. “Promise?” 

“Only if you promise not to fall asleep without me,” he warns you amusingly, pulling himself out of your grasp with a broad grin on his face. He kisses your hand. “My little koala.”

“Come back quickly,” you cry out dramatically as he walks away.  

You smile as you hear his laugh echo against the walls, and slide under the covers. The couch cushions are soft and comfortable, but you’ve taken more than enough naps on it not to be surprised. With your head on the pillow, and the dim lights, you feel yourself drift off too quickly - but you made a promise to Changbin and you are determined to enjoy his warmth next to yours before you fall asleep. 

You won’t fall asleep.

You won’t. 

“Babe?” 

The voice startles you awake, and you blink furiously to see Changbin’s amused face next to yours. 

“Did you fall asleep without me?” he scowls at you, although he has a playful smile on his face. 

You frown, clearing your throat. “No, I didn’t.” 

But you both know that you did, and Changbin chuckles, wrapping your body around his, keeping you close.

“Traitor,” he whispers in your ear. He tickles your side a little and you squirm. 

“I didn’t! I swear I didn’t!” 

“Oh, so you’re a traitor and a liar?” he teases you, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist, making you a little dizzy. 

You quickly kiss him, dancing with his plump lips. Changbin laughs, but he doesn’t pull away, answering to your kisses with the same energy. 

“Trying to bribe me too?” he adds in between two kisses, his breath hot against your skin as he grazes your earlobe with his lips. 

You arch against him and you nod mischievously. Neither of you can stop smiling, and you take a second to admire him in the soft orange glow of the room. His curly hair, his dark eyes, the scar on his chin. Your hands explore his naked chest. You love to do it although you’re used to seeing it, as Changbin rarely sleeps with a shirt on. 

“What should I do with you?” he breathes softly, his thumb caressing the bare skin of your shoulder next to the straps of your tank top. 

“I think you should kiss me again,” you answer, tracing his lips with the tips of your fingers. 

Changbin bites his lips, eyes sparkling. “I think you should be on dishes duty for the next week.” 

“What!” you say, erupting into laughter. “And here I was, trying to be romantic.”

He shrugs. “Who says doing dishes isn’t romantic?” 

“Hm, everyone.” 

Changbin smiles, never looking away from you. You could get drunk on the feeling alone - he just has this way of looking at you like you’re the only person in the world. Like he has never seen anything more precious. It tugs at your heartstrings, making you fall in love with him more and more each second. 

“I just love looking at you,” he adds. “Whatever you do, whether it’s doing the dishes, getting dressed, drinking your coffee… That little frown you get when you scroll your phone. Whatever it is, I just like to look at you.” 

You don’t know what to say - the butterflies in your stomach are in a fury, and you have stopped breathing. 

“Changbin…” you whisper.

“I guess I’m weird,” he states.

You nod, although your heart is beating so fast it almost hurts. “Definitely.” 

As you kiss him again, and as he rolls you on your back, his hands exploring your body, you let out the words that make the most sense to you.

“I love you, Bin. You’re everything to me,” you breathe.

He kisses you deeper.

You sit up in bed, lazily stretching your arms. A yawn escapes your lips as you glance beside you. Changbin’s spot is empty, and the sheets do not feel warm under your palm, so he has been up for a while. You rub your eyes, feeling in absolutely no hurry to get up - it’s the weekend and you have nothing planned for the rest of the day. Your boyfriend is probably gaming, or maybe he’s continuing the reorganization of his vinyl collection he started the night before. 

You glance at the mint green walls around you with a smile. It’s taken you a little time to get used to the color, but you adore it. You especially like the huge framed photo that you’ve hung on the wall facing the bed - it’s the picture of a sunny forest Changbin sent you when you had just started dating. He had been away on a camping trip with a friend and had thought of you - that’s what he had said. When you saw him next you had kissed him for the first time. 

The floor feels cold under your feet as you head to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, Changbin’s hoodie on your shoulders. The apartment feels strangely silent, and you realize that Changbin is not here. You don’t remember him having plans, though. 

“Bin?” you call with a frown. No answer.

You go around the apartment, but it quickly becomes clear that Changbin is not in. You’re not necessarily worried, he might have just stepped out for a quick errand, but usually he leaves a note or a text. You try not to get worried as you watch the coffee drip in your favorite mug, wondering if you should give him a call. 

As you decide to do so, the front door of the apartment opens and closes. You meet Changbin at the door, letting out a relieved sigh. 

“There you are,” you say.

He smiles at you, looking adorable with his cheeks red from the morning cold. “Sorry, koala. I thought I’d make it back before you woke up.” 

“It’s ok. Where have you been?” You ask.

“Just getting something.” 

He removes his black hat, leaving his hair in disarray, and shrugs off his jacket. You realize there’s a brown bag on the floor next to his feet, but when you try to glimpse into it, Changbin blocks your path. 

“Hey, hey,” he chuckles. “Let me prepare my surprise.” 

You squint your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee. “What are you planning?” 

“Absolutely nothing,” he chants, giving your forehead a kiss. “Can I have one, too?” He points to your mug. 

You know it’s just a way of making you leave so he can prepare whatever he is planning, but you’re still curious and you don’t mind playing the game. You push your index against his chest playfully. 

“I know you’re planning something,” you warn, but Changbin only smirks. 

You go back to the kitchen and prepare him a cup of coffee, trying to hear what he is doing in the living room. He’s being silent, however. You are nervous, but you can’t help but smile. When he steps into the room, he’s holding something behind his back and you bite your lip in excitement. 

“We were missing something important,” he says. “Something very important.” 

“What are you talking about?” you ask, chuckling. 

Changbin smirks. “Well, we bought the watering can the other day, but…” He reveals what he is hiding - it’s a small house plant in a clay pot, with dark green leaves, the earth looking a little dry. You gasp and grin. 

“The house plant!” you laugh. “Is this the one we are going to kill?” 

Changbin puts it down on the kitchen island, sliding a hand around your waist. “Don’t say it too loud. She doesn’t know what’s coming for her.” 

“She?” 

“Her name is Mrs. Plant,” Changbin replies very seriously.

“Oh,” you say, trying to hold back your laughter. You turn to the plant, bending slightly forward. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Plant. We are going to take very good care of you.” 

You take a slightly creepy tone with your last words and Changbin snickers, muffling his laugh in your neck. You laugh, turning to him, sliding your arms around his neck. 

“Thank you, Binnie,” you tell him. “I love it.” 

His lips feel a little cold against yours, so you kiss him until they are warm again. Changbin holds you throughout, sighing softly. 

“Mrs. Plant is a little thirsty,” he says. “We should give her some water.” 

“Of course,” you nod. “Hold on.” 

You open the cupboard to grab the cute watering can you found at a yard sale. Bringing it towards the sink, you realize there is something in it. Frowning, you take out the piece of paper and read what is written on it.

Your heart sinks and you turn towards Changbin. 

“Bin, what - what is that?” 

He is smiling fondly at you. With a little shrug, he steps closer, pushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I said we should make this place a home before we left, didn’t I?” 

You stare up at him, your eyes filling with tears. 

“Now that we’re done, I thought it was time for our little trip.” 

It feels like your heart wants to burst out from your chest as you glance back at the piece of paper. The words almost do not make sense. 

Printed plane tickets for two. 

“Changbin!” you cry out, jumping in his arms, hugging him tightly. “That’s too much!” 

He hugs you back, burying his nose in your neck. “It’s not. I love you, baby. I want to go on an adventure with you. Walk those paved streets. See you smile in the warm sunshine.” 

You let out what is a mix of a laugh and a sob, unable to move from his arms. You stay like that for a long time. Tears of joy roll down your cheeks when you finally take a step back to look at Changbin. You kiss him, and it tastes a little salty, but you don’t mind. 

“I can’t wait,” he says, his smile wide and bright. 

“Me neither, I can’t believe it!” 

He pushes his index to your nose, making you laugh. “All I did was book the tickets, though. We’ll have to figure out what we want to do.” 

“Okay,” you nod, feeling excited at the prospect. 

“But first,” he says, “let’s not forget to get Mrs. Plant her water.” 

 You burst out laughing and kiss him again.

I debated posting this today, wondering, would that be too much Changbin? But then again, there's never too much Changbin. I hope you guys enjoy this ♡ It's been so so cold around here and writing this brought me a lot of warmth so I hope it can do the same for some of you.

permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden (please let me know if you want to be added or removed <3!)

[astercontrol]

I've written a lot of this elsewhere, but today I feel like putting together a Very Long Post about how much I love Ram.

From the variety of different Ram-related posts I've made, I guess you can tell that I've got the type of all-cylinders obsession that the most devoted fanfic writers get about their blorbos. Obsession on all levels, to include both "wanting to see him hugged and comforted through every step of unpacking his trauma" and "wanting to see him get the absolute hottest sex of his life, over and over until exhaustion."

Because we do that, here in fandom (horny and loving creatures that we are, ourselves). And he really does deserve all the good things he can get.

Ram... it's hard to explain WHY I love him so much. Why so MANY of us love him so much. He gets a lot of fan love for hIs comparatively small role in that movie, and I think it's a combination of things, the LAYERS of the movie, the subtle complexities that are never clear in canon... maybe never even thought about or planned by the scriptwriters, but still THERE.

There is of course a level on which he seems very innocent, pure, naive... (thinks doing actuary work at an insurance company is helping people, poor sweet summer child...) (/my cynical jaded pharmacy technician voice)

But at the same time.... He went from that clerical office job to being a warrior, and is GOOD at it. You don't really see him kill, but you know he must have. Many many times.

...okay, technically you do see him kill, once.

Collaboratively with Tron, when they derezz their Lightcycle opponent. And it's bizarre to see how much FUN he seems to be having in that moment ("So long, sucker!")

Maybe he's been oppressed by the Red warriors for so long that he really feels nothing but joy in killing them. Maybe he's feeling unusual joy in that moment because Flynn's just offered him a way out. Or maybe some programs just get taken over by a playful, campy energy when they're put in Gaming mode, even lethal games, even if it overrides their usual nature. I don't know.

Anyway, somehow, despite all he was made to do... Ram managed to keep some of that air of innocent playfulness.

And hope. And caring for others. Trying his best to comfort whoever needs it. At the beginning of the movie he was honest with Crom about what probably awaited him, but then he did his best to take Crom's mind off it by asking him what's going on outside-- that's the best he can do, even though it probably kills him on the inside that he can't help more.

Amd he is SO sensitive to others and what they may be feeling and needing (though this is shown in such small, understated ways).

There is that scene where he's alone with Tron in the cell, and says "the new guy was asking about you." We never actually saw Flynn ask Ram about Tron, and there isn't any obvious point at which he could have asked him offscreen. Pretty sure this was an unintentional plothole-- I think there was a line in the early script, but it was cut.

Which leaves me, in my ill-advised attempts at Watsonian interpretation, getting the (probably unintended) impression that Ram noticed that moment just before Flynn got dragged out of the cell. That moment where he was looking at the place where Tron had been before, and looked like he WANTED to ask, but didn't get the chance. And Ram saw him "asking" with body language, and remembered it.

Which, I don't care if they did that by accident, I find it damn compelling, okay.

And then Tron says he'll probably never get to meet Flynn because Flynn's in a match, but Ram says "you might, there's something different about him." Ram has some kind of perceptiveness about Unfamiliar Things In The System that even the security program lacks. He's shown with SUCH empathy and sensitivity... even if it's so subtle it might not be on purpose.

And ...gah, the tenderness of that scene where he holds hands with Flynn before derezzing.

I mean... aaaahhhh. it breaks my heart. He deserved better... And I know the scene feels less powerful after we write fix-it fic. But hey, there's the side of me that likes a good tragedy, and there's the side that wants everyone to live happily ever after, and there's enough possible universes to satisfy both.

I WANTED to see so much more about him.

There was SO much unexplored potential in the dynamic between his playfulness and Tron's seriousness. We know Tron can smile and be affectionate, but I wanted to see SO MUCH more of it-- and so much more of Ram getting to bring that side of him out.

He'd have been so good at it.

And now I'm gonna get into the horny side of things... because the horny side, to me, can also be an important part of what makes a whole, multidimensional character. (And also because I sometimes just feel like going into the horny side, which is fine too. I'm a complicated enough character myself.)

I talk a lot about my headcanons/theories, but I don't think of them as "canon" exactly. They aren't more "real" to me than other interpretations; they're just one possibility. (Or sometimes more. For a few things I have multiple contradicting possibilities I like to explore.)

As for Ram and his sexuality:

I think of him as gay, but in a weird Program-specific sense. Programs don't have genders in quite the same way as humans. There's the visual render, which is changeable, and underneath is a lot of energy and data that Programs can perceive about each other... some of it is analogous to human gender identities, but not all of it translates exactly.

I think what attracts most programs to each other is the inner energy, not the outer graphics. And in Ram's own experience I think he tends to be attracted to the energy of masculine programs (those whose programmers are considered men in the User world).

I think he's only felt this powerful attraction a few times, though. Certainly to Tron, and also to Flynn (really, that User-energy seemed powerfully attractive to all three of the programs Flynn befriended in there).

But I think Ram is still very free and generous with intimacy, even to those who don't attract him in that way. He's a kind soul by nature, canonically getting his own kind of empathetic pleasure ("great feeling") from helping people with their "needs."

And (in my own smutty but strangely wholesome imagination) I think this would extend to the Program version of sexual needs.

The first Tron fic I wrote was about Ram "comforting" Crom when they both realized Crom probably didn't stand a chance in the Games. I think Ram genuinely enjoyed this, and took plenty of pleasure in his own way, although the attraction was not the same kind he felt for Tron and Flynn.

In the "headcanon" I like to write, Ram did this often, because it was the only way he could think to help other programs in the cells and the games (when helping plan for their future seemed like a lost cause). ....I think when he's in this mode, he sees beauty in everyone, and takes pleasure in giving pleasure, no matter who it is.

But I imagine that the more intense attraction becomes active when it comes to being in a triad with Tron and Yori.

And this is because Ram is very attracted to the intimate connection that Tron and Yori have *together.*

He wants to be shared between them, because he sees their love as a powerful amplification of *Tron's* energy that he's so attracted to. And he's very excited by the idea of being swept into the middle of that.

Which is projection on my part.

I mean, when I got into Tron fic, I immediately latched onto a specific headcanon about how Program intimacy and attraction works, the one that most closely meshed with what I myself was into... which got me exploring some stuff about my own complex place on the sorta-queer, sorta-poly, gray-ace-gray-aro spectrum.

And Ram's feelings (as I imagine them) are a bit like my own experience of being poly.

At least, even though I'm probably somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum and don't have quite as much capacity for romantic love and sex drive as other people... a big part of what I love about having multiple partners is being close to the connections they have *with each other.* And this supersedes whatever inclinations I'd have towards "attraction" in a one-on-one sense.

Soooo yeah. Watch me project my whole self onto Ram, and then maybe get better at loving myself because of how much and on how many levels I love him. That's what being a fan is all about, okay.

[aliasrocket]

༊﹒ROCKET GOES TO THERAPY.

self explanatory. 1.6k words.

inspired by this post by @elegant-fleuret . Probably gonna make more ‘sessions’ in the form of chapters, but I’m not sure yet.

“Do you know why you’re here, Mr …”

She trails off. The ‘r’ goes on for a while and Rocket tapped his foot to a nonexistent rhythm. He grinned.

“You’re really not gonna help me out here?”

“Nope,” Rocket replied, popping the ‘p’ before his lips returned to the same curled position.

“Alright.” She nodded. “Do you know why you’re here, Mr Raccoon?”

“Gah, now that just sounds like somethin’ off of a kid’s book, scratch that,” Rocket protested, his face scrunching up to form a grimace.

Since he’d first entered the blinding white room, Rocket’s back was completely slumped against the couch, his legs falling wherever was most natural—and that had apparently been fairly wide apart. To him, that is. One arm dangled behind the cream couch and the other rested on his thigh.

“You chose the name yourself, didn’t you?” The woman smiled with a lower of her head. She pushed up her rectangular glasses on its bridge with a knuckle on her finger.

Rocket’s eyes narrowed. “Yes.”

“I suppose the quote on quote ‘kid’s book’ aspect didn’t cross your mind when you were deciding on it?”

She had a clipboard in her hand and a pen in the other. Though, currently, the hand with the pen held her knee with the pen intertwined in her fingers whereas she kept the clipboard snug on her forearm, holding it by its metal clip at the top.

Rocket sighed, looking away. Even the floors were a bright white.

“What exactly are you writing on there?” Rocket asked, crossing his arms when his eyes made their way back to the woman.

“It’s not anything you’re going to tell me, if that’s your concern.” She readjusted in her seat, leaning a little closer this time. “It’s only so I can remember the things we can work with.”

The smile that seemed to leave a permanent mark on her face was gentle; there was a glint where the light met it, like she had been wearing baby pink lipgloss.

Rocket pressed his lips together every time he was on the brink of spilling just a little bit of his bile onto the glass coffee table between them. Years and years of torment, self loathing, disgust and vomiting all kinds of colors wasn’t really something Rocket had planned on unpacking. He’d had it in the bag for probably two decades, maybe a few more years—unpacking it would make putting it all back so much harder.

It’s not an item he’s unpacking, they’re not even items—they’re pieces. The way they’re deep within his guts was meticulously placed there to fit, nevermind they’re jutting out in every direction and tearing him from the inside out—it fit. That’s all that mattered.

“Okay, maybe we should start somewhere else … Groot tells me you’re a mechanic. A pretty good one at that,” she spoke up, Rocket’s eyes darting back to her own. She was digging into him, he could see it in her gaze—it never left his. But then again, Rocket had been looking away for some time now.

“A little bit of an understatement, but sure,” Rocket remarked in a pitchy voice. He shrugged.

“How so?” She quizzed once more.

Rocket frowned.

read the rest on ao3.

Taglist : @caesarhamato22 @cosmic-lavender @love-for-faeries-go-burrrr @momahoneypleasesugar @ludibry @baloneyslacks @ghost-andghouls @scholastic-dragon @marigold-cat

[bookqueen1755]

Or Else - Chapter 2

- Synopsis: When Liv Olson, a cynical, ambitious photographer, is given the chance of a life time to come to Tokyo and start her career, she finds that she may have bitten off more then she can chew, especially when she discovers Tokyo's superhero in the form of a large metal man is actually famous baseball player, Ken Sato. Things get even crazier when her best friend is kidnapped by a secret organization known as Nebula and it seems the only one she can turn to is Ultraman. But his arrogance and ginormous ego means Liv is less then enthusiastic to trust the guy, and how's the best way to secure someone's trust? Simple: blackmail. Forced to work together, Liv and Ken must join forces to stop Nebula, realizing they may share a common goal. But can they push aside their differences and rivaling egos to save the people they love most and work as a team...and possibly more?

- Content warnings: None in particular. Just a bit of violence and the occasional cussing, nothing that wasn't in Ultraman: Rising. - Quick Side note: This story takes place after the events of Ultraman: Rising and acts like a sequel.

“This is totally awesome!” Dean hollered, throwing himself onto the beds thick crispy white sheets. Liv rolled her eyes good naturedly as she stood in front of her own separate bed, unpacking the clothes from her suitcase. Their room was large and grand with pearly white walls, fluffy black carpet and a large tv across from their beds. A bathroom veered off to the left of their suite and two glass doors near Liv’s bed lead out to a jutted balcony overlooking the city. They’d arrived in Tokyo during the late afternoon and Liv could just make out the sun through in between the tall glass buildings stretching across the city, still barely hanging above the horizon from their hotel balcony. Looking at the view, their room and the fact they were on one of the highest floors of the building, she was once again grateful Mrs. Arakawa had insisted on paying for their stay as she was sure even spending a day here would leave her completely broke. Only asking for in return one of the best pieces of photographic art she had ever seen. No pressure at all.

“I still can’t believe you were able to convince your work to allow you a whole month off.”

“Come on, who can say no to this face?” He shot her a bright smile, propping his head up on one hand. “And anyway, I built up a crap ton of annual leave, I never took any sick days off, I worked during thanksgiving and Christmas because my parents took a trip to Puerto Rico to visit family and refused to buy me a ticket, so I am good to go.”

“Doesn’t Dr Cole miss his favorite assistant back at the lab, what about the oh so secret and revolutionary project you’ve been bragging about helping him make or has he found someone more competent to help him?” Liv teased.

Dean scrunched up his face mockingly. “Ha, ha, no he hasn’t. Dr Cole and I have a deal. He was chill with letting me come to Tokyo, if, I find something interesting to post on my channel, Uncovering Myth and Matters.”

Liv starred at him, deadpan. “You have a weird relationship with your boss Dean.”

“It’s an awesome relationship. And Dr Cole’s got everything covered. The machines pretty much already to go, he’s just got to work out the last of the wiring and it will be ready for the gala a week after we get back to LA.”

Liv raised an eyebrow at him, grinning. “Oh, so it’s a machine.”

Dean shot up almost hurtling himself off the bed, waving his hands vehemently. “Gah, no I wasn’t supposed to say that! You can’t tell anybody, it’s top secret!” He shrieked.

“Oh no I’m gonna tell everyone. I’m gonna run to the top of the hotel and shout about it for all of Tokyo to hear.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at her, threateningly. “Do that and I will push you.”

Liv hummed, unmoved by his threat and checked her phone with a huff. “It’s five now, we should probably get going.”

Dean leaped off the bed, pumping his fists in the air. “Yes, I am so pumped, I’ve been waiting for this moment all week!”

 Liv groaned. “I can’t believe you actually bought yourself a ticket to sit around for three whole hours and watch a bunch of grown, sweaty men, stand around a field, hitting a ball around.”

“Correction. I brought us,” he flipped out two white tickets, beaming, “tickets to sit around for three whole hours and watch a bunch of grown, sweaty men, stand around a field, hitting a ball around.”

Liv snickered, grabbing a clothes hangar from the wardrobe across the room. “There are baseball games on literally every other week back in LA, why do you want to see one here so badly?”

“Because Liv, those games don’t have Ken Sato, the greatest living baseball player on their teams!”

Liv tried to recall who he was referring to. The name sounded familiar. Liv had heard Dean bring it up on one or two occasions, more than that probably. “Are you talking about that Japanese guy that you always used to rave about? I thought you said he played for the Diggers or something?” She asked, her brain faintly remembering Dean coming home excited one day, waving around a sport card with the image of a tall, lanky Asian man swinging a baseball bat.

“Dodger’s and that was over nine months ago woman, keep up! When I found out he was being transferred over to the Giants and moving back to Tokyo I was super bummed, I ranted to you about it for days!”

“Aw, is Dean in love?” Liv gushed, batting her eyes at him.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Very funny. My only love in life is science. And Quesitos.”

“What am I, chop liver?”

“No, but I wouldn’t love you if you were that either.”

She swiped a pillow from her bed and tried to throw it at his head, but he dodged it, snickering. Liv growled and snatched her last stack of clothes from inside her suitcase, storming off toward the bathroom. “I am going to get changed, I’m not going out wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. I swear that taxi driver that dropped us off cut the cost of our ride in half because he thought we were poor.”

“We are poor.”

“The rest of Tokyo doesn’t need to know that!” She slammed the bathroom door behind her.

[teetle-time]

random snippet i'm kinda proud of lmao. minimal context:

one of those 12/rise xovers with rise!leo 🤝 12!mikey: otherdimensional exiles

EXCEPT it's 12!mikey who ends up stumbling out of his canon and into the other one, then needing help getting home

things have happened and the rise gang feat. 12!mikey have secured a connection to the 12!verse during the timeskip at the start of the farmhouse arc

timing is ehhhhh call it a month or two after each dimension's big kra(a)ng invasions (rise movie, tmnt s2 finale)

anyway. 12!mikey and 12!raph chaos causing duo of all time reunited google send tweet

〜

Raph found himself pacing along the porch as Donnie spoke rapidly into April's phone.

"So you've been working on a portal to get from your dimension to ours for how long, exactly?"

Twelve steps, reach the edge, turn.

"That just about lines up with how long it's been since-! Well."

Twelve steps, reach the edge, turn.

"You're sure? It hasn't exactly been a cakewalk here, either."

Twelve steps, reach the edge-

"Oh, yeah, the clearing the house is in is massive. Why do you ask?"

Raph's eyes widened as the first couple shapes stepped out of the forest and into the dying sunlight.

The first was Casey.

The second-

"MIKEY!"

Raph's voice burst from his chest before he even realized he wanted to speak, and he vaulted over the railing just as fast, sprinting to where the two stood-

-a gargantuan hand hovered over Mikey's shoulder.

(In about thirty seconds, Raph would realize the truth and promptly feel like the world's biggest idiot.)

(But then, that was still thirty seconds away.)

Raph's eyes widened, then narrowed as he poured on the speed. "Don't you lay a paw on my brother!"

He leapt over Mikey and tackled the huge shape with enough force to send them both tumbling end-over-end back into the woods, much to the dismay of his opponent and those nearby.

"Oop-!"

"Gah!"

"What the-?!"

Raph just focused on landing as many hits as he could the second his enemy landed on their back- not that it mattered much, what with the way one of those titanic hands quickly wrapped around his shell like a one-handed hold on a quarter-pound cheeseburger and lifted him up with ease. He struggled and tried to keep swinging at his enemy, but his arms and legs were just too damn short.

Mikey's voice cut through the haze. "Dude, chillax! D'you really wanna punch yourself in the face that bad?!"

Raph blinked and actually took in his adversary, letting his limbs go limp.

A turtle in a red bandana looked up at him and blinked right back, then chuckled as he sat up, still holding Raph like a burger. "Eh, Raph's had worse, and if I saw some huge guy I didn't recognize reaching for one of my bros, I'd go after him without mercy too. No harm done!"

The tonal whiplash from the overly-cheery voice to the downright threatening undertone and back nearly made Raph's head spin, not to mention the use of Raph's name (presumably) in reference to the giant himself, so instead of trying to unpack all of that, he just shook his head and drawled, "So, can you, like, put me down now, or…?"

(And, yeppers, thirty seconds had gone by and Raph was feeling decidedly stupid.)

"O-oh, of course!" The huge turtle said, gently setting Raph back on his feet before withdrawing his hands.

Raph just swallowed before turning back around to face-

Mikey stood there with a soft smile on his face and a hand on one hip. "Careful, there, Raph. If you keep charging people twice your size for me, I'm gonna start thinking you care."

Behind Mikey, Raph saw Donnie and April running up to the group, and around the edges, he saw more unfamiliar turtles in eerily-familiar colors watching him curiously, but all of it was relegated to the back of his mind.

"You're…you're actually here," breathed Raph. "I'm not dreaming, or, or hallucinating?"

Mikey pressed his beak tighter together and held out his arms, his eyes visibly growing wet. "Not a dream or a hallucination, bro. I'm back, in the flesh."

Raph stormed forward, "Don't you ever," grabbed Mikey, "do that again," and yanked him into a bear hug, "you absolute idiot!"

"Wasn't planning on it," said Mikey, voice wobbly as he clung to Raph.

"Good."

And Raph's voice was not thick with emotion or anything of the sort.

Obviously.

Donnie and April quickly launched themselves at the two of them, with Casey slinging an arm over Mikey's back.

Mikey just sniffled. "I…I missed you guys. I missed you so much-!"

Huh.

There had been many a time when Raph had openly said that he never wanted to hear Mikey's voice again.

Now that he was hearing him for the first time in a month or so, though, Raph didn't think he could go a day without it anymore.

Even if Mikey was straight-up sobbing into Raph's shoulder and…and…

…why had Mikey stiffened?

"…Raph, Donnie, April, Casey…" Mikey's voice was quiet, first to count off each of the four of them, then in a vain attempt to keep steady. "Guys…

"…where's Leo and Master Splinter?"

[ghosts-of-love]

I would love a director’s commentary on the Quick and the Dead (wow seasonal) and a 🌟 for Lost then Found

hello!! thank youuuu <3 <3

i'm not sure i can do a director's commentary on the entirety of tqatd so will just go for the first chapter! i'm gonna read it now and write down my thoughts as i go along:

I remember being really unsure about how much detail to put in the ao3 summary about Cap being a vampire or whether to keep it vague. I think I found a nice middle ground – some people know from the get-go and some people start chapter two and are like “omg that’s what this is” and I enjoy that!

always proud of using the word trepidatious in the first line :)

oh I’ve tried to explain this before but I do really like the alternating perspectives in this fic – it’s the first one I’ve written where the different perspectives are included in the same story and I like choosing which bits to overlap and which bits characters would want to skirt past. I also just enjoy the different ways that Pat and Cap speak and think!

Obsessed with how immediately unwelcoming Cap is, it’s hilarious.

The smells of rosemary and lavender lingering after all this time 🥺🥺 Heather my beloved

“The facade is 16th century.” He explains tiredly, “And Henry VIII actually dined here once.” → one thing about me is that I LOVE including actual lines from the show! i will always find a way to shoehorn my favourite bits (because then you know exactly how they would be said, although in this instance i've given Cap some of Alison's lines haha)

Pat could probably live five lifetimes before finishing every book in this bloody house. Hehehoho minor foreshadowing.

“I don't want…” The Captain pauses at Pat’s bedroom door with a resigned slump to his shoulders, “I don’t want to toot our own horn but some say this is the finest house in the county.” He says quickly.  AND AGAIN with the lines from the show!!

the Captain opens the boot, but not before he flinches slightly at the little ‘bib bib’ noise that it makes. Choosing which modern technology will scare or confuse the Captain is great fun :D

I just wanted Cap to be as endearing as possible and also largely terrible at pretending to be a normal human, on account of he spent the last 70 odd years in the company of a witch and some ghosts. (this is in response to him pretending that the box of books is heavy)

love the phrase “bitter gusto” – such a Pat-in-his-feelings-trying-to-unpack-his-car-and-see-the-bright-side kind of vibe

him cutting his hand on the grater was what prompted me to think about and then write the other hand scene in the later chapters. (more on that later in response to a different ask)

but the whole garden has obviously long since been forgotten. OUCH I forgor about this

He leans against the counter, looking more relaxed than Pat has seen him all day. Love the fact that Cap saw some blood and immediately had to yeet himself away to feed and then became more normal and friendly after that lol

the whole bit where they’re trying to fix the water pressure and the captain is SOOOO obviously asking the plague ghosts and Pat just thinks he’s scared, it gets me every time. I can see it so clearly in my mind. The ‘gah!’ noise is like the same thing he does in the show in response to Jemima I think? Or at least it meant to have the same vibe.

He’s sure the Captain smiles back at him, but he can’t have noticed him because he just…keeps walking until they both knock into each other roughly. This also makes me laugh a lot!! another symptom of the captain only having lived with ghosts for a long time.

The TV already being on when Pat wants to eat his noodles is because Kitty is the one watching West Side Story (love how Pat says it’s not his favourite musical) – she also goes and tells the Captain that Pat has fallen asleep and that ‘he might get lost trying to get back to his room in the dark, Captain!!’

“Sleep well.” He tells him.//The Captain smiles at him like they’re sharing a private joke. He’s so silly and endearing I love him!!

🌟 for lost then found - I actually reread most of it yesterday because I saw a photo of Larry wearing glasses while reading from the ghosts book and I vaguely thought to myself “hey his glasses are similar to the Captain’s. And then I paused and reminded myself that the Captain doesn’t wear glasses and got confused because I was sure I’d had this conversation with myself before and was imagining both Humphrey and the Captain wearing similar glasses and I finally realised it’s because I fucking wrote it in Lost then Found that they have the same glasses!! extremely silly behaviour of me but a part of the fic that I do like because it sits nicely in the ‘Cap is slowly opening up and getting to know people’ bit I think, in that he’s choosing to wear the glasses in front of people, and helping Humphrey out with school stuff.

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

[ybetzarts]

random question, what draws you to knuckles as a character? do you have a favourite version of him?

Okok...bear with me, I have to start from the beginning..

I first encountered Knuckles during the time when he was mostly portrayed as, as they described him, a character merely for comedic relief. I watched the boom series back in 2015 and so my first impression of him was that he was an all-brawn-no-brain kinda guy. I found him funny, i guess...i had no clue back then. To explain why i didnt bother to do any research, here are some screenshots of my response on IG...(see below the break)

I was a shallow "fan". I find the sonic casts' design interesting and fun to look at. At that time, that was enough...

1. What drew me into Knuckles then?

I'll get into that, but first...The 2nd movie...The only reason i gave Sonic(by Sonic i meant the whole franchise) a chance was because i saw how Knuckles was portrayed in the 2nd Sonic movie. Very different from what i knew of him at that time.

I began researching about him, after watching the movies. There was something. Yea, i was on an info hunt of just about the guy for months! Along the way tho, i also discovered a ton of things about Sonic, the cast, etc. BUT, i was mostly so eager to know about Knuckles. Then man! There was so much to know about the guy...He wasnt just that all-brawn-no-brain type of guy. Those character analysis videos of Knuckles explained a lot of things about him. He's the most interesting of the cast(for me)---his personality(Most of all), his backstory, his sacred duty, being the last of the echidnas, angel island as his home, what's left of his kind(relics, tech, architecture, art, etc.), so much to unpack...and YET there were almost nothing said about them??? The mysteries about the guy continues. Lots of angles to look into his character.

Hmm... I also realized that there were many ways to interpret(?) Knuckles. The tons of fanfiction you can make about the guy, tons of ways to do headcanons about him---one can look at him through his duty as a guardian, through him being a warrior, through his ancestors--and then recently in Frontiers--through the hidden and long lost and forgotten structures within angel island, also, through the M.E. and through the power that resides in the M.E. Am I making sense even???

[I should say that i liked a lot of these things first, before i even liked Knuckles for his design LOL (gawsh, those times when i struggled drawing the dude. I was so eager to learn how to draw him. Usually i would have given up, but surprisingly i didnt), and the "why did he have to be RED" XDD I didnt like red, until Knuckles...] His personality drew me in at first, then came all of these things...

About his personality/character...I can really relate to that. I also happen to like characters who are tough on the outside and are good (not exactly gentle) in the inside LOL. Knuckles looks so tough, immovable as a mountain, but deep down, he's carrying a lot. Rarely or almost never opening up. I can only imagine him as he got older, him thinking like

"No one will be left to take care of the island after I'm gone anyway...so why should i even bother? I could be doing something else, I could be anywhere, I could make use of what time ive been given, of what time i have left."

*proceeds to chuck them thoughts away* Then just like that, back to guarding duty again, still feeling loyal and determined to fulfill his role, and to who knows until when...

For that, Knuckles is the only fictional character that ive come to genuinely like and become interested in. So much so that i got out of my demotivated-uninspired-artist-prison and began drawing again, and for the fun of it!🌟💥

2. As for my favorite version of him?

My gosh! um, currently Renegade, I suppose??? Man, this is hard gah! Theres always something to like about every version of Knuckles. The Knuckles version in my head, the one i created after consuming a ton of Knuckles info, yea i also like that version LOL XDD🌟

[larcenywrites]

And which one is your favorite? 👀

NOT AGAIN AH I wanna go for young but I DONT KNOW BECAUSE LIKE- GAH there’s so much to unpack there and then when I say one, I’m like “oh, but x has these qualities too which I love writing about” uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh I think still young only because that’s something that can be played around with a little more I feel like? Like that’s such a clean slate to draw on because there’s not as much info there as opposed to the older Tony we all know very well and know what’s out of character or what he has or hasn’t done! Like of course there’s still some things we know for sure about his younger self and certain things would only make sense A Certain Way, but for the most part anyone can interpret him in many different ways and pretty much all of it can make sense! And I do think that’s neat and fun :D

But it’s also interesting to think and write about, well, Iron Man! Because there’s a lot that can also be unpacked and interpreted there! From trauma and domestic life to juggling happiness and health- because that’s a much more complicated life! But I love to write and think about him pre!iron man as well, but not like I would write younger Tony. While he’s still been that billionaire playboy CEO but not quite yet Iron Man. There’s plenty to try and sift through there too- Especially if you wanna analyze how he made it to that point and why he acts like that! And through the power of fiction, we can theorize and create a world where Tony had some better help along the way in those younger years that could’ve prevented that altogether.

Overall it’s hard to choose because this character is so so dynamic and lovely but at the same time still open to so much interpretation! But that’s just if we’re talking about nothing more than the interest in writing and interpreting.

Our younger version here is obviously still pretty experienced, though still with emotional distress that shows up during a hard fucking as much as during the willing vulnerability of a sweet forehead kiss. He’s still learning (in many different ways) and it can be shown in, well, many different ways! He’s simply more overpowering than dominating, and trying to find release and comfort and even love in these physical pursuits. As we head into those older versions it still gets just as dynamic. Probably mostly uncaring and unattached for a while- this time it really is nothing more than stress relief and perhaps the fucked up triumph of an asshole with a reputation to keep. Anything more is too vulnerable now and too much of a hassle, not after everything that’s happened and the reworking of that newly fragiled mind that built walls to unfortunately keep the bad stuff in and keep the good stuff out (though it wasn’t entirely his own doing- and not consciously at least). Maybe there’s a fleeting thought here and there. Someone’s hung around in his bed a few too many times and he starts to think it could be a nice thing to have. That maybe he should actually try to be… something. But that sounds like a long commitment and fixing up all those internal issues and then the thought becomes exhausting. He’s too tired. He’s too busy. He doesn’t have that kind of time- hell, he could do so much more with all that time. All he has to do is cut off that contact and go on with what’s always been normal and what’s always worked.

But then, something happens. No, unfortunately nothing good. Something about a military demonstration gone wrong, terrorist-inhabited caves in the desert, being kidnapped for forced labor, something not mentioned but not well hidden under his shirt… No one needs to know anymore than that. For the first time since 1991, the fear of a future unknown combined with a another youth wasted spent on autopilot catches up to him, but this time his pursuit for peace of mind isn’t quite so destructive (or is it?). And now, faced with mortality and morality, so many switches are flipping in that head and if he doesn’t try to do these things now he might not ever be able to. Maybe he can make room for love, finally- no, he can. And whoever’s unlucky enough to end up in his arms, he’ll be sure to show his gratitude in every way.

We skip ahead and hopefully by now he’s with someone, because dear god does he need an anchor he can trust and it would be far too difficult to find one now. It would be far to difficult to deal with all of this all on his own. The stress of the world is quite literally on his shoulder, and the distress is evident in the way he works and the way he walks. The only safe space left is in his own home and preferably in the arms of that anchor. The distress is evident in the way he hides and the way he holds. He can’t control the sky falling out or even his own damn team or even his own weapons at times, but here he can control the narrative and spill out the day’s trauma, and in return replace it with something more gentle and sweet when he decides it’s safe to give up that control again- but this time on his own terms.

He’ll never quite escape the trouble and heartbreak that’s haunted him since childhood. Maybe it’s because he’s never actually changed? Is he the same person now as he used to be? Does he want to be? Do others want him to be? He can rethink it all he wants and what could have been, but perhaps the story would’ve always came out the same. Maybe it boils down to who’s story could be manipulated the most, or who deserves more to have their unfortunate tale mended by the end. As much as I would love to show him how to love and make those early tragedies and hardships easier to bear and without all those bad habits and isolated walls, I find it hard to say that I wouldn’t just as easily give everything up to clean those wounds in a warm bath and finally bring comfort to a hero that doesn’t want to be strong anymore.

Which one is your favorite?

[arsene-fixates]

The Informant and his relationship with his identity

I recently finished a big arc of his and er although i haven't fully unpacked it in my head i'll put what i have on this topic

just saying, this is based on my interpretation of him :-) i don't know if i'm right but you know!!!! i love giving him a lot of nuances, he is a complex man after all ^_^

this contains spoilers!!!! so to my mutual, rook, don't look!!!!!! also its very long because i have to give context for the arcs

So just to quickly establish something, i have this headcannon that he is Very protective of his identity and the little analysis bit is somewhat based on it smiles.

to quickly sum up the previous big arc of his that i finished before this one, he gets slandered by Carl Delacroix (rich old guy) and is accused of being the main leader of a crime organisation. Hammerstrike (captain of the police force) and the seeker chase him down to try and get an answer out of him but he escapes into the forest.

After proving his innocence we feel bad for him and we start finding out small details about him to get him a gift

and he says this! as a response to the gift.

In this second arc however, we get an anonymous tip that he's working with The Masked Man (the main antagonist) and Anna (reporter) and the seeker start prepping to follow him, with an invisibility cloak and a potion that masks our scent (because he's said to have a sharp nose ^_^) and we made a tracker just to track him!!! so it's easier for us to follow.

and we're following him! but he starts doing all these strange hobbies namely

bird feeding embroidery reading romance novels playing solitaire drawing baking

he starts booking it after that and starts leaving us little things to tell us that he knows we're following him and we get a note to meet him in the alley. I get there and he says

I was caught so off guard because he has never been this upset before.

and! he also reveals that all the hobby things he did?? those were all just to throw us off his track because he knew from the start. AND THAT IS SO INSANE?? EVEN AFTER WE PREPPED SO MUCH. I LOVE HIM MAN.

anyways here's the analysis bit.

I personally believe that he wouldn't be As Pissed if we hadn't unknowingly led strangers to him

his identity was put at risk in Both situations, the first time round, Hammerstrike and I were chasing him, but we were people he knew and people he knows he can trust. He knew that at most, if we were to catch him, we'd unmask him, which is why he ran.

When we gave him the gift, he said that he wasn't offended (but I personally still think that he was, and just didn't want to voice it out) based off of that, it's as if he pushes his emotions aside because of his work if he lashed out, or maybe i feel like if he voiced it out especially at people he trusted + we got him a gift, it might affect his reputation in the city and he tries to keep it neutral (in the sense that people are still afraid of him but he spends time with some of the townspeople)

This second time round, we were so determined on tailing him that we unknowingly led strangers to him, people who were after him, whose agendas we wouldn't know of. He can only assume that they wanted to find out his identity and put his life at risk So he lashes out this time, For the sake of his work. He has not mentioned having any right hand man so its safe to assume that he's the only one capable of handling all the connections that he has throughout the city. His work is his top priority, followed by his identity and then followed by his own comfort. ^_^ he is so complex to me and GAH i just love him so bad

[cloudcountry]

isaacs second letter!!! HTERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE JHAFSDJAHSFDHAGSFDHAGS

convalescence?? darling...........what the fuck

him liking mc's cooking is so cute!!!! thats so wholesome and domestic it makes me want to cry a little JAGFSDHGAS I WOULD MAK EHIM CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP <33333333333333333333

gah that dream made me so angry i hate those students and everything they said to him >:T IT WAS SO UNCALELD FOR!!! LIKE YE SPHYSICS IS HARD BUT LEAVE YOUR PROFESSOR ALONE?? ALL ISAAC WANTS TO DO IS SHARE HIS PASSION WITH THE WORLD BUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU STOP HIM FROM DOING THAT but anyways. i can hold yoru ahnd and cuddle you and talk you through nightmares if you ever need it :(( just let me know and i will make you tea <33

WHY WOULD I LEAVE. WHY THE HELL WOULD I LEAVE????? you asked me not to. you asked me to stay so obviously i did. also im the master of nagging so guess WHAT you are stuck with ME!!! deal with iT!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE PART THAT KILLED ME. ONLY FRIENDS?? A SHAR P ACHE??? ISAAC :((( GAHHHHHHH ITS SO SWEET AND SO HEARTWRENCHING HOW UNSURE HE IS?? AND YET HE SAY WITH CONFIDENCE THAT HE WANTS THE MC TO SAY THAT NO THEY ARENT JUST FRIENDS

...and he doesnt even understand why :C

i amg oing to cry myself to sleep now bye

[addictionfreedomnow]

Gah. So much to unpack here.

Remember, you're not weird or unworthy. Trauma causes us to protect ourselves in specific ways sometimes. That's okay.

[fever-comfort]

Sick at work

Sicktember 2021 - Day 25

B raised their arm and held out a hand, palm towards A. “May I?” A nodded. B placed their hand against A’s forehead. A leaned into the cool touch without thinking. “You’re burning up.”

A is under the weather. Their coworker B finds out and takes care of them.

B pulled up onto A’s driveway. They were going to hold a course at a local company together so it made sense to carpool. And besides, A’s car was in the shop so there wasn’t much choice anyway.

A came hurrying through the front door, clutching a thick coat around themselves and carrying a briefcase. B thought it was a bit excessive with a winter coat given the fairly mild weather, but didn’t think much of it.

That is until A got in the car and B noticed that they were shivering.

“Hey, are you alright?”

A nodded. “Yeah I’m just cold. The blasted boiler broke yesterday, when I came home the house was freezing. Haven’t been able to get warm since.”

They sniffed and buckled the seatbelt. B looked on with concern. A continued.

“I called the company but they couldn’t send anyone before the weekend. They’d be here on Monday at the earliest,” A growled and shook their head in disappointment, then rubbed their hands together for warmth. “Any chance we could turn up the heat a bit? I just wanna try and get warm before we get started today,” they then added in a much softer tone.

“Yeah, of course,” B said, turning the knob to maximum heat level. They also adjusted the air exhausts to point directly at A, as well as turn on the passenger side seat heater.

B reversed out of the driveway and they headed towards their destination. A pulled out a tissue from their pocket and blew their nose.

“Ugh, the freezing air has had my nose running constantly.”

B wondered if they hadn’t actually heard A blow their nose a few times yesterday at the office as well. But they were quickly distracted by traffic and didn’t think more about it.

While stopped at a red light A suddenly sneezed and then blew their nose again. B looked over at A and noticed that they had a hint of dark circles under their eyes.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You look a bit tired.”

A finished wiping their nose and put the crumpled tissue back in their pocket. “Didn’t sleep much. Kept waking up ‘cause it was so cold. But I’ll be fine once I get warmed up.” A shot B a forced smile.

B wasn’t very reassured by this, but didn’t press the matter further.

Soon they arrived at the office building of the company they were giving the course at. They were shown to a big room where the course would be given, and then a smaller room in which they could put their stuff and use as their base.

Once left alone they started unpacking and laying out the items for each part of the course. B took off their jacket and hung it on a chair, but they noticed A kept theirs on.

After a minute or so of unpacking, A suddenly swore.

B looked up at A, eyebrows raised. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m missing a section.” They looked down disappointedly at the gap in-between two piles of paper. “Gah, I must have left it at home. I wanted to look it over yesterday but I must’ve forgotten to put it back in the briefcase.”

A slumped down into the closest chair and sniffled quite harshly, hugging their arms around their torso. They looked very upset, almost teary-eyed.

B looked over at the papers A had already unpacked. “Okay, but we’re not covering that section until the afternoon. We can swing by and get it during the lunch break. No big deal.”

B smiled kindly at A who was now rummaging around their pockets looking for a tissue. They found one, wiped their eyes and then blew their nose. They then looked at B and nodded. “I guess you’re right. Good plan. Thank you.”

With a plan of action decided upon they continued their preparation for the day’s course. Once it was time to move into the larger room to set up the computer, B watched A reluctantly take off their coat.

“Still cold?”

“Hmm?” A looked up at B a bit confused. Then they realised what B meant. “Oh. Yes, just a little. But it’s much better now, thanks,” they replied with a half-hearted smile.

Once they got everything set up and the course attendees arrived, the course started.

It didn’t go completely smoothly though.

A and B would take turns presenting the course material. But A would occasionally lose their train of thought and just stare off into space, until B jumped in and prompted them, or completely took over for a while.

A would also sniffle at an increasing frequency and discreetly excused themselves twice to blow their nose. When they returned the second time B got a good look at them and saw that they looked significantly paler now than they had done just an hour or so ago, except for a faint flushing across their cheeks. It also looked like they were shivering.

Two hours into the course it was time for the first scheduled 15 minute break. As the course attendees queued up in front of the coffee machine, A and B headed back to their assigned small room.

A entered first and B closed the door behind them. A, still shivering, fished out a used tissue from their pocket - they ran out of fresh tissues an hour ago - and hunched over slightly while blowing their dripping and increasingly raw nose. The nose blow was followed by a pitiful guh.

As they slowly opened their eyes they saw B standing in front of them. B’s eyes were knitted in concern. B raised their arm and held up a hand, palm towards A.

“May I?” B asked. A, still slightly hunched over, understood what B was doing and gave a small nod.

B placed their hand against A’s forehead. A leaned into the cool touch without thinking.

“You’re burning up,” B stated. They turned their hand over and pressed the back of their hand against A’s forehead, needlessly as the fever was already confirmed.

“I really don’t feel very good,” A said in a now quite unsteady voice.

“I bet,” B whispered, more to themselves than to A. They thought for a moment.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. You stay here. I’ll try and wrap up the first part of the course as soon as possible. Should be an hour or so, tops. Then I’ll call for an early lunch break, and during that I’ll take you home. Sound good?”

A looked at B with unfocused, glassy eyes. They nodded weakly.

“Okay, good,” B said. They then fetched A’s jacket and helped them put it on, before indicating for them to sit down. Then B took their own jacket and put over A’s lap as if it were a blanket.

“Not ideal but it will have to do for now,” B said, looking down at A who looked more miserable and exhausted by the minute.

“I’m gonna see if I can get myself some coffee real quick, do you want anything?”

A had wrapped their arms around themselves and closed their eyes. They shook their head.

“Nothing?” B asked, a hint of concern in their voice. “Not even water? Or tea, maybe.”

“Hmm, yeah that might be nice but don’t go to any trouble. I’m sure the course starts any minute now,” A said in a voice which sounded alarmingly sleepy for someone who had just been standing up.

B didn’t point out that the course would clearly not start until either of them were there to lead it. Instead they said “I’ll be right back” and slipped out of the room.

B returned a few minutes later carrying a water bottle, a cup of tea, a handful of biscuits, and a big wad of paper towels. They placed all of it on the table next to A.

“I couldn’t find any proper tissues,” B said apologetically, “but it looked like you could use some more paper.”

A immediately picked up a paper towel and let out a congested “thanbks” before blowing their nose in it. Once again it was followed by a guh.

B looked at A with concern. They really seemed to have gotten quite sick in the last few hours. They hoped it wouldn’t get even worse by lunchtime.

B led the next part of the course alone, and also agreed with the course attendees to take an early lunch, which most participants actually seemed quite happy about.

Once the lunch break started, B hurried back to the small room. A looked to be half asleep, head slumped slightly to the side and breathing slowly through their mouth, presumably because their nose was blocked. When B entered however they straightened out and tried to look alert.

“We can go now,” B said, nodding their head towards the door. “You can leave your stuff, I’ll bring it when I leave later today.”

A would normally have objected, but their mind was too foggy with fever and lack of sleep to think right now. They just stood up and followed B down to the car.

When B started the car the heating was still set to the max settings, so it didn’t take long for the car to get warm and toasty. This combined with the general soothing movement from a car journey meant that A was asleep in a matter of minutes.

When the car pulled into A’s driveway however, they woke up. Mind still a little foggy, it took a moment to realize where they were. But once they did they turned to B.

“Thangks for the ride.”

A sniffed and started looking for something to blow their nose in.

B shook their head.

“No. We’re just fetching some things and then I’m taking you home.”

A looked at B with confused, glassy eyes. “But I am hombe.” They blew their nose with great force which curled them forwards, and once they were done they leaned back in their seat and groaned.

“No, I mean to my home.”

A just stared blankly at B.

“Look. You’re clearly very unwell. And your heating isn’t working and won’t for several days yet, so there’s no way I’m leaving you here. I’m taking you to my house.”

Despite their brain fog, A didn’t feel like they could accept this offer. They shook their head.

“No, I couldn’t-“

“Listen, you don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to. I’ll put you up in a hotel if you prefer, but I’m not letting you stay here in this condition. Okay?”

A didn’t say anything at first. But eventually they nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” B smiled. “Now let’s get you your stuff and get out of here. You really look like you could do with a lie-down.”

B followed A inside to help them pack. They wanted to make sure A didn’t forget anything important. B was shocked at how cold it was in there. It was no wonder A hadn’t been able to sleep.

B made sure to get the papers A had forgotten, and helped A pack a few changes of clothing, something to sleep in, and a small bag of essentials, toothbrush and the likes. B also made sure that A changed out of their formal work clothes and into some comfy sweatpants, a T-shirt and a warm sweater. Then they both headed back into B’s car.

B ushered A into the living room once they arrived at B’s place.

“I’ll get the guest bed ready when I get back, but for now you can camp out here on the sofa,” B said, placing A’s bag next to it. “I’ll get some things real quick. You make yourself comfortable.”

B smiled and indicated towards the sofa. A looked at B with bleary eyes, whispered “thank you” and slumped down on the couch. B’s brow furrowed. A really didn’t look well.

A gingerly laid down on the sofa and closed their eyes. They opened them when B returned and started placing things on the table next to the sofa. B had fetched a box of Kleenex, some ibuprofen, a thermometer and a waste basket.

They also brought several blankets and a pillow. They made A lift their head so they could place the pillow behind their head. Then they shook out the thickest blanket and draped over A. Then another blanket was placed on top of the first one, and a third one was folded and hung over the armrest next to A’s feet.

“Just in case,” B said and smiled warmly at A, patting the last blanket. A swallowed thickly and sniffled, whispering a quick “thadks” while reaching for some tissues. B also pushed the TV remote closer so A could reach it.

B disappeared and returned shortly with a filled pitcher and a glass of water. Both were placed on the table next to A.

“I’m sure you could do with a meal,” B thought out loud. “I don’t have any soup or anything but I have some leftovers in the fridge, I could heat that up for you if you’d like?”

“I think I just wanna sleep,” A said, turning to their side and curling into the blankets.

“Okay. Well, if you wake up later and want to eat you’re free to help yourself to anything you find, alright?”

A nodded. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” They sniffled and reached for another tissue.

“I’m sure you’d do the same for me,” B replied as A blew their nose again. Their nose was getting alarmingly red and raw already.

“Alright, I should probably get back. They’ll be wondering where we went,” B said with a sigh. They felt bad for leaving A, but also knew there wasn’t much they could do for them right now. More than anything they needed rest.

“I’mb really sorry,” A said tearfully, grabbing another tissue to wipe both eyes and nose.

“It’s not your fault,” said B sympathetically. “Don’t worry, I’ll manage.”

A reached out to grab another tissue and wiped their eyes again. Then they slumped back onto the pillow and sniffled.

B walked over and pushed the box of tissue closer to A. Then they leaned down and gently pressed the back of their fingers to A’s forehead.

“I’ve put medicine here on the table, I think you should take some. You’ll sleep better if the fever goes down a bit.”

A sniffled and nodded. “Okay, I will. Thank you.”

B gave A one last concerned look before heading out.

A was asleep before B had reached the car.

A awoke with a start. They’d dreamt all sorts of strange things in a restless slumber, ending with feeling like they were pressed down to the earth’s core by a great force.

They opened their eyes wide. It took a moment for them to adjust, but once they did they saw B standing over them. B had their palm on A’s forehead.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” B whispered.

“I’mb glad you did,” A rasped. Their voice was thick with sleep and starting to sound a bit hoarse. “Nightmare.” They closed their eyes and rubbed the bridge of their nose, breathing deeply to their mouth. Their nose was too blocked up.

Then they realised how cold they were and looked around to see where the blankets had gone. They must have either moved around violently in their sleep or gotten too hot, because the blankets were tossed unceremoniously on the floor.

B realised what was happening and picked up the blankets and covered A with them again.

“You didn’t take any medicine,” B chided.

“I’mb sorry, I fell asleep as soon as you left,” A replied, pulling the blankets closer around themselves.

“You still feel quite warm. Not worse than before I think, but certainly not better.” B clicked their tongue.

“Well since you’re awake you could take one now. It would be good if you ate something too, because I assume you haven’t eaten anything since this morning?”

A shook their head and reached for a handful of tissues. They desperately wanted to try and unblock their nose, even though they suspected that blowing it wouldn’t do much right now, it felt so stuffed up.

“I bought some stuff on my way home, including some chicken soup. It only takes a few minutes to prepare. If you take some medicine I’ll be right back, okay?”

A attempted to blow their nose, without much success. They sighed breathlessly and nodded. “Thangs,” they rasped, then sniffled in a fruitless attempt to clear their nasal passage.

A swallowed down some medicine and B returned shortly with a bowl of steaming hot soup. B gestured for A to sit up, then handed them the bowl.

As A was slowly eating, B started unpacking the rest of the stuff they bought. This included more tissues, cough drops, nose spray, more fever reducers and some lotion for poor A’s nose.

The steamy soup soon helped loosen up A’s sinuses. Now they were sniffling almost constantly, and having to put the spoon down and grab more tissues to wipe their nose between every couple of sips of the soup.

B prepared some food for themselves and joined A in the living room. They sat in silence (apart from A’s sniffling and nose blowing) and watched TV while they finished their respective meals.

Once they finished the soup, A deposited the bowl on the table and slowly laid back down. Sitting up for only a short while had made them feel a bit woozy. They burrowed down into the pillow and under the blankets, letting their eyes drift shut.

B intended to prepare their guest bed for A, but also didn’t want to wake them and force them to move if they fell asleep again. So they just quietly lowered the TV volume and took away the bowl, double checking that A still had water and could reach anything they might need on the table.

When B returned from the kitchen, A was asleep, snoring lightly. B didn’t have the heart to wake them, so just gently readjusted the blanket so it was covering A from neck to toe. Then they turned off the TV and headed into the guest bedroom to make up the spare bed, just in case.

B spent the evening reading, cleaning up a bit in the kitchen and occasionally checking on A. The were still blocked up and snoring, but seemed to sleep quite restfully none the less. B didn’t want to disturb them.

Before going to bed, B made a final pass out in the living room. They removed used tissues and made sure A had medicine, tissues and plenty of water nearby.

This was not what B had expected when they got up this morning. Having a suddenly sick houseguest coming to stay for an undetermined amount of time - but at the very least a few days - was not something they’d imagine would happen. But they didn’t mind.

B didn’t know them well. But they knew that A was lonely.

Their heart ached when they thought back on earlier that day, when fetching A’s stuff. A had seriously been expecting to be dropped off at their freezing house, all alone, in their condition. They had not complained or asked for help. They’d even tried declining the offer. B’s heart shattered all over again.

Then they heard the soft snores coming from the sofa again. They looked over at A. A was warm. And safe. Certainly not well, not yet, but B would look after them.

B turned off the lights and headed to bed, leaving only a small lamp close to A so they could orient themselves, should they wake up in the night.

When A woke up suddenly it was pitch black out. But the light from a small lamp enabled them to see where they were. Their eyes adjusted and they looked around. They looked at the table which was filled with items which B had fetched or bought for them.

B.

This morning, B had been a coworker. Now, though, looking at the items, at their body wrapped in a blanket they’re quite sure they didn’t place there themselves, they’re starting to think that maybe, just maybe, B was also a friend.

A’s eyes closed and they slowly drifted back to sleep, with the hint of a smile on their lips.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 9)

Summary: The reader and Tessa spend their first Christmas with the Winchesters and their friends, resulting in an eventful night...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Please enjoy this final part! I loved writing this one and exploring everything this series had to offer!

_________

Reader’s POV

Christmas Night

“Hello ladies,” said Dean, popping his head out from the hall and into the room Tessa was staying in. “Mind if I steal your sister?”

“Go for it,” she said, jumping up from bed and rushing over to her suitcase. She pulled out a box and held it out. “I thought I left it at home but Y/N found it in the hall. It’s your other present.”

“The zip up was very nice of you already,” he said. He tore off the paper and you smirked from bed, Dean making a face as he looked at the box.

“It’s a mug. I made it in art class,” she said. He opened the package and went wide eyed, staring at her as he pulled it out.

“Tessa, this is really good,” he said, smiling at the little D.W. she’d painted on the side. “You made this?”

“Yeah. I’m good at ceramics,” she said with a shrug. “If you don’t like it that’s okay.”

“I have a new favorite mug,” he said, giving her a hug. “I can drink out of it, right?”

“Yeah. It’s fine for using and dishwasher, all that,” she said.

“Well I for one am glad you are getting your minor in art next year,” he said.

“Really?”

“School’s important but you gotta have some fun,” he said. “This is one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten.”

“I made everybody one,” she said with a shrug. “I gotta give Sam his still.”

“I think he’s out with Eileen and a few other people in the hot tub.”

“I was gonna go hang out with Jack, maybe we’ll head out there,” she said. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Make smart choices,” he teased as she walked out. You stood up from bed and walked out to the hall, wrapping your arms around his waist. “She loves me.”

“Yes she does,” you said, a big smile on his face. “You like that, huh?”

“Yes, I do. Besides, I gotta get her on board if I want you,” he said. “How am I doing so far?”

“Oh so you’re curious if I love you,” you said.

“More than you could possibly understand,” he said. You smiled and stood up on your tip toes, throwing your arms around his shoulders.

“Dean. I love you.”

“Good because I love you,” he said.

“That’s very good,” you said. He gave you a kiss, resting his hands along your hips. 

“Wanna take a walk with me?” he asked. You nodded and let him take your hand, following him downstairs and into the foyer where you dressed in your coats and boats, hats and scarves. You walked out the front with him and down the driveway a ways until you were on the private road up there, twinkle lights adorned in the trees.

“This really is beautiful up here, Dean,” you said, your gloved hands laced together.

“It is. Never really thought this would ever be my life growing up,” he said.

“We had holidays like this when we were younger,” you said. “It’s not really about the presents or the lights at the end of the day though.”

“No, it’s definitely not,” he said. “I know we only got here yesterday but are you enjoying it so far?”

“More than. I don’t dread these things anymore. I don’t dread life anymore.”

“Can I ask what your plans are for once Tessa goes to school next year? I know she’ll be living at home but she’s gonna be out and about more often,” he said.

“I don’t really know,” you said. “What about you?”

“Sammy’s interested in the place two doors down across the street. He might put an offer in,” said Dean. 

“What ya asking Dean?”

“If you asked me six months ago if I ever thought I’d love someone, I’d have said no that wasn’t for me. But then I met you and things changed. I’ve never really asked if you’re a marriage kind of gal I guess.”

“If I loved him I would marry him. I’d have a family of our own with him too,” you said. Dean nodded and you bumped his shoulder. “Death is the price we pay for living. But I think what I’ve learned these past six months is that caring and loving someone is worth the pain at the end of the day. The pain subsides and it’s still there but it doesn’t destroy you anymore. So yeah, I’m definitely open to marriage and kids and the dog with the white picket fence thing.”

“My fence is brown,” he chuckled.

“I can look past that detail,” you said. “Would you ever consider marriage?”

“Yes. I absolutely would,” he said. You smiled and he squeezed your hand. “You think I’m gonna like...propose or something now?”

“I think I love you and anything else, whenever or if ever that may be, it would just be a cherry on top,” you said. “I don’t need a ring or to be Mrs. Winchester to tell me how I feel.”

“I figured as much. Safer to ask though,” he said. He reached into his pocket with his free hand and held out a small wrapped box to you. “Merry Christmas sweetheart.”

You dropped his hand so you could unwrap it, finding a black box inside. You took off the lid and smiled, looking back over to Dean.

“You like it?” he asked shyly, blush appearing on his cheeks. “Tessa helped me pick it out.”

“Dean are you proposing?” you asked. He cocked his head and you turned the empty ring back towards him, his face falling.

“Oh my God. Oh my God,” he said, covering his face. “I never put it back in the box. It’s at home. Oh my God I’m so dumb.”

“Dean,” you smiled, tilting your head and wrapping your arms around him. “Is there something you’d like to ask me?”

“It would make this idiot very happy if you decided to marry him,” he said with a smile.

“M’kay,” you said, pulling him down for a deep kiss. “That’s a yes by the way.”

“Even if I’m an idiot?”

“Told you I don’t need a ring, Winchester,” you said. “Just need you...Mr. & Mrs. Winchester has a nice ring to it though.”

“Technically it’s Dr. and…” he trialed off as you kissed him again. “God I love you.”

“I love you,” you said, throwing your arms over his shoulders. He tripped and fell back in the snow, laughing as you went with him. “Fuck I love the shit out of you.”

“I second that,” he said, rolling you to your back and kissing you. “Your sister is a hard nut to crack you know.”

“Did you ask her about this?”

“She’s very protective of big sis...but she said some very sweet things to me,” he said.

“She’s a sucker for you guys,” you said. “But she’s not the only one.”

You rolled over and meant to put him on his back but you ended up shifting and rolling down the hill with him, landing in a big pile of snow. You couldn’t see him at first but he was giggling like a kid and it was just about the best sound you’d ever heard in your life.

“I love you,” you said as you sat up. He propped himself up on his elbows and grinned. You jumped on top of him and rolled around in the snow, throwing snowballs and playing until both your jeans were soaked through and the cold was getting to be a bit much.

“Hey. You want to warm up with me in the shower?” he said. 

“Absolutely,” you said. You walked back up the hill with him, picking up the box from the road. He threw his arm over your shoulders and tugged you close into his side. “Maybe we can even have a little fun in that jacuzzi tub.”

“That’s my girl,” he chuckled.

“That’s my boy,” you said, taking off your hat and pulling it over his head. 

“I can get used to that.” He took off your hat and his baseball cap, putting the cap on you and tugging your hat back on.

“You’re never getting that blue Henley back by the way,” you said.

“You’re never getting your black hoodie back,” he said. You stopped and he pushed his hat down over your face. 

“Dork,” you said, pushing it up and wrapping an arm around his waist. You walked up the road, chilly when you walked back inside. You took off your coat and boots, tossing everything on the rack. 

You caught Sam and Tessa peeking their heads down the hall, both of them in their bathing suits. They stared at you and Dean, both dripping water.

“Yes we’re engaged,” you said.

“Yes!” said Tessa, Sam giving her a high five.

“Finally,” said Sam.

“Don’t you two have people to go make out with in the hot tub?” said Dean.

“Gah, like I’d do that in front of him,” said Tessa. 

“I was having a perfectly good time with Eileen until you and Jack-“

“Goodnight guys,” you said.

“They got engaged!” shouted Sam, different parts of the house shouting back. Dean pulled you up the staircase and down to your room, locking the door behind you. 

“Hi,” you grinned, kissing his nose.

“Hi. Wanna warm up?”

“After you, sweetheart.”

Three Months Later

“I’m beat,” said Dean, arm slung over your shoulders as the two of you walked up the street towards your house. You’d spent the day helping Sam and Eileen move into Sam’s new house just down the road, sticking around to unpack dishes and boxes long after everyone else had gone home.

“Our boy is all grown up,” you teased, Dean leaning against you. “Happy Sammy’s so close by?”

“Yup,” he said with a smile. “I think us older siblings did an alright job.”

“We still have to get Tessa through college,” you said.

“She’ll be fine. She wants to major in medicine sciences. I may or may not be able to help her out there some,” he said.

“Nerd,” you said, getting a smack on the ass from him. “Boy.”

“Girl,” he said, smirking and kissing your cheek. “It’s not the easiest thing in the world, I know, but she’s smart. We can all help her out. Except her art minor homework. I have no clue on that,” he said.

“First semester will probably be the roughest.”

“She’ll be okay,” he said. “What I am worried about it the fact she’s making us dinner tonight.”

“Ten bucks says it’s box mac and cheese.”

“Oh she informed me that it would be epic. I have high expectations,” he said.

“Hm, that must clearly be a good sign,” you said, nodding to your front porch where a very burnt tray of something sat on the step.

“Is it too late for takeout?” he chuckled.

“Let’s hope not,” you said, climbing up the steps. “We’re home!”

“How’d it go? We saw the...wait...it smells shockingly good in here,” said Dean, taking off his coat.

“I’m a better chef than you two give me credit for,” she said from the kitchen, humming as she worked over the stove. “I burnt the biscuits but everything else is nearly done.”

“If it tastes as good as it smells we should have you cook for us more often,” you said. 

“Laugh it up,” she said. Dean pulled you upstairs and you washed off the sweat of working all day, changing into something relaxing in time to walk downstairs and spot Tessa setting plates down at the table. 

“Oh. Fancy,” you said, Dean pulling out your seat for you. You sat and he took his own, Tessa humming as she pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge and sat it down on the table. “Alright. What are you up to? This is way too nice.”

“Nothing. I knew you guys would be tired and you guys always make me dinner and stuff,” she said.

“Mhm,” you hummed, Dean smirking up at her. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“This what I get for being nice. I’m going over Jack’s,” she said.

“Make smart choices kiddo,” said Dean with a wink. She groaned and messed up his hair before she took off, Toast trotting after. “Take my car if you want, Tess.”

“Thank you!” she called back, ducking out the door after a moment.

“Well this was very nice of her,” you said. You cut into your chicken and paused, showing it to Dean and giggling.

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll show her how to use a meat thermometer, make sure the food is actually cooked,” he chuckled, picking up the plates and scraping the food in the trash.

“It’s the thought that counts,” you said, picking up the bottle of wine.

“Yes it is. What are you thinking?” he asked. “Taco Saturday?”

“I want a big ass burrito,” you said. “With extra cheese. And nachos.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, washing up his hands at the sink. “Wine and Mexican food. Perfect combo if I do say so myself.”

Three Months Later

“You got me a car!” said Tessa, hopping up and down when she opened the front door. She ran over to it and pulled off the bow, sliding in behind the wheel.

“You were worried she wouldn’t like a used one,” chuckled Dean in your ear.

“I was not,” you said, slapping his chest, Toast running out past you. You watched Sam and Eileen come out of their house a few down, Sam staring over in your direction. “We’ll meet you there!”

He waved and they climbed in, driving past with a honk as Tessa squealed. 

“Alright, alright,” said Dean. “We got a graduation to get to, ladies.”

“Cheers,” said Dean, laying back on the lounger on the balcony, toasting his glass to yours. You stretched out and rolled over closer to him, kissing him gently. “You’ve officially survived the high school phase.”

“Why do I feel like the college phase is harder,” you laughed.

“She’s already got the college boyfriend down,” he said.

“Yeah but Jack is Jack. He’s sweet. She’s the one I worry about.”

“You’ll always worry,” he said, his arm hanging loosely over your shoulders. “Kids sound like they’re having fun down there.”

“She’s happy. It’s all I could ever ask for.”

“Are you happy?” he asked.

“I’m home,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. You hugged his waist, Dean shutting his eyes with a smile. “You want to get married next summer?”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he said. 

“Come on. You gotta have some opinions on this,” you said.

“I kinda like the idea of a spring wedding. Maybe May or something. I wouldn’t mind honeymooning somewhere on a beach,” he said.

“That sounds great,” you said, his fingers dancing along your arm. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Shoot.”

“I almost asked my dad if I could meet you once you know. The boy from the mail room. You seemed...I don’t know, like a really good person.”

“Did I meet expectations?” he asked.

“Blew right past them,” you said, getting a kiss on the temple. “You happy?”

“I got my girl. I got my brother. Got Tessa and Eileen and my friends and Toast and this little baby, Miracle,” he said, picking up the sleeping puppy beside him. “I have never been so happy in my life.”

“Good,” you said, kissing his cheek. “Want to go see if there’s any graduation cake left? Bet it’d go good with this bourbon.”

“God I love you,” he chuckled as he kissed you. “So fucking much.”

“Me too, Dean. Me too.”

_________