#GC: Gathering Courage

[jinhua-shu]

OVERTHINKING, Scaramouche/Wanderer x GN!Reader

PART 1: OVERTHINKING

PART 2: HIS POINT OF VIEW

PART 3: HELPLESS

PART 4: THE AFTER-EFFECT

PART 5: I LOVE YOU DUMMY

It’ll all go down hill if the other party decides that he is not interested in pursuing something further with you. it will all lead to something sad. like you for example, aren’t you overthinking, assuming, being overly anxious of what has happened between the connection with the person whom you’re talking to? Let’s all calmly and sadly face the truth, that not everyone wants to be with us and etc. because, no one bothers to stay even when we’re at our lowest, there would always be that one person whom will just glance and look away at you.  there would always be that one person who will simply, just stop to see what’s happening and walk away. there would be someone who will not care less of what you’re feeling, and simply intentionally ignore you. Leading to whatever feeling you’re feeling.

*  *

It has all begun, when you had enough courage to talk to your crush to show him that you’re interested in him, only for it to backfire.

Scara isn’t really a person who you can keep conversations with, he’d simply brush you away or ignore you, but suddenly he started replying to your messages.

which gave you a bit of hope. but you had also hoped that you did not fall for that stupid shit. Being in the same Group Chats as him made you delusional, whenever he chats you’re there swooning at his cold replies towards your group of friends.

you’d hit the reply button the instant he texts something in the GC, only to be ignored completely, which made you even more determined to gather his attention.

you’ll always go and complain to your friends on why you’re such a cupioromantic or why you’re such a hopeless romantic, in which made them become fed up with your delusions.

“ He has only seen my message! is he that speechless? “ ‘ Yeah, girl he is. ‘ ‘ No doubt he’s trying to think of ways to confess ‘

‘ He’s ignoring you for being a nuisance. ‘ “ ... “ that’s how everyday conversations with your friends go. two are feeding you DELULU and one is fed up and wants you to focus on yourself.

* *

Scara is seen walking down the halls cellular phone on hand, he seems to not be paying attention to where he’s going, ending up him stumbling backwards because he just bumped onto you.

grumpily regaining his footing he glared at the person.

“ Watch where you’re going. “ he spat out continuing to scroll down through his phone, you stood still trying to comprehend the fact that he just talked to you.. before squealing. Scara looked back at you in confusion and waved it off, walking fast paced towards the exit, Scara hummed to himself continuing scrolling through his phone, before stopping at the message notification, he grumbled. it’s you again, that one annoying pest that doesn’t even know how to get the hint. he sighed as he started typing a response, he seems to have an idea in mind.

completely getting carried away, he found that talking to you is quite refreshing. he found solace in your company. he would never admit it but he seemed to have quite a huge interest on you. 

2 weeks has passed, and you’re feeling over the clouds, who would never know? that the SCARAMOUCHE has been talking to you for 2 WEEKS! amazing!

you giggled as you sat on your bed, hugging a penguin plush tightly before sending scara a screenshot of a lyric from a song.

[ Maghihintay ako Hanggang mapasayo ]

[ (translation) I will wait until I’m yours ]

scaramouche scoffs as he simply reacted at the ss you sent and typed a response

“ I need some time to think. “ and sent it to you. you smiled as you stare at his response for more than 2 minutes before sending another message. 

“ Take your time “ 

you smiled happily without knowing the confusion and discomfort that will settle down in your heart the next day.

-------

( Y/N POV )

I woke up feeling giddy, I sat down on my couch as i opened messenger, to check whether he has replied nor seen it.. turns out he hasn’t read it so I spent all of my time, distracting myself by doing my homework and watching movies on Netflix.

bored. i opened my phone to see him online, i checked the conversation whether he has seen it, i shrugged as i find out he still hasn’t read my message.

couple of hours has passed. i am now staring at his icon with a green dot, below his profile. he’s online and he won’t reply? is he that busy?

i gnawed on my nails as i laid down on my bed. i shouldn’t worry too much, he must be doing something and left the tab open.

i sleepily closed my eyes as i fell into a deep slumber. It is the start. of my feelings downfall.

----

waking up completely out of void, feeling like something bad is happening or coming, i sighed as I checked once more, before becoming disappointed. Feeling empty and confused, i am left with my over bearing thoughts that is eating me alive. ‘ Why did he show that he’s interested in me? ‘, ‘ why did he show that he cares for me..? why? only to leave me in the dust. ‘ i shook those thoughts away as i calmed myself down. ‘It’s going to be fine, it has only been 2 days since then, it won’t impact you that much.’ oh how i was completely wrong.

i stayed in my room wondering what could’ve happened if I didn’t fully show him my feelings towards him, if i didn’t really let him know of what i was feeling. 

a bunch of “what if’s” a bunch of “Why’s” but never “ I shouldn’t have. “ 

i sobbed on my pillow feeling distressed, the gnawing pain that’s on my heart, the confusion that’s lingering on my brain. the exasperated breathing that i am doing to inhale oxygen. 

He must be talking to his friends. He must be having fun or playing.. but in all honesty, why should I care, why should i have to endure all of this emotions, all of these feelings, when he’s not even mine.

i shouldn’t have messaged him, i should’ve just admired him from afar and let time make me move on slowly.

why does it have to hurt this bad? you’re not even mine..

why do i have to overthink?.. when you’re not even mine.

[miam0re]

SMUT REQUEST

HI!!!! uhmmm i love the way you write SO MUCH!!!! i was hoping for a requessttt!! i CANNOT stop thinking abt this scenario, i truly hope i inspire you and get u to write my idea 😭😭 i love your work sm!! i feel like my writing lacks so much english vocab when it comes to smut writing, so thats why im here,,, asking such a LOVELY WRITER BTW like damn

respectfully,

- carmine

(p.s, if this ask is too long, im debating to write this idea out but im so scared to post a smut :(( tysm if u consider doing my req!!)

—

context

very close with march, comfy enough to talk about stuff, gossips, anything really, helps each other, close enough with stelle as well

oc!reader trailblazer (not caelus or stelle) having a natural allure, ur so kind, naturally motherly figure like, perfect lover type shit aura, always caring for others, AND oc!reader skillful af (any weapon y/n uses) voluptuous, flexible and speedy as shit, (im fast asf boi) but basically,,, think of,,, a hot and caring killing machine lmfao, her morals are more on the good side, shes kind, all that, but when it comes to battle, holy shit who tf is this mf??? battle lust, ruthless, relentless wtf (and the dynamic and duality of oc!reader seems to naturally attract the men who witnessed both oc!readers combat skills and being acquainted enough to know that this mf is like, the dream goddam)

the hsr men that you encountered are so obviously attracted to u, have the hots for you (canon way to their characters ofc), they all ask march annoyingly, still trying to be respectful to her whenever they can, just to try to get to know oc!reader, mfs cant muster up the courage to GET CLOSER WITH OC!READER!! and march got so fed up that she devised a plan, classic march yk?

— march basically got fed up abt the hsr men asking her about oc!reader (but not because of jealousy n shit, nonono shes happy and amused that her bff is that hot to them and shes so proud of herself for being close n shit) she adds all the men to a gc, and her being the mastermind yk texts and gathers them to a place (be it belobog, xianzhou u choose) and march PLANS to let the curious, secretly needy for ur attention, men eavesdrop in another room.

— SO!!! AND THERE THE SCENE PLAYS!! march had gathered welt, dan heng, gepard, jing yuan shit all of them, they felt so guilty abt this but they were too curious about you, march asked a clueless stelle to accompany her and oc!reader to this whole,,,, situation lmfao, march then asks subtly, not too obvious abt what she thinks about these hsr men.

— you talk abt them so nicely, with details, about yk, all of them one by one, ur so nice, so caring, every voice is filled with affection, march sweating in the bg cause of the hidden men within the room listening in like pervs lmfao

uh oh

— following the display of affectionate words ur clueless fat (butt) ass, march asks a question, a question that would change everything and reveal another side to her, a specific one, subtly nsfw and not at the same time, yk, to not be obvious, "so.. uhh y/n, would you wanna get close to them? one of them at least?"

— oc!reader: "without a doubt, but they... i feel like theres a certain hesitancy of... air around them? a wall? distance? (big sultry pout sigh that lets the men listening in shiver grrrr)" leaving the men ashamed as fuckkk from their hesitancy to get close with oc!trailblazer lmaoooo

march, (narrowing her eyes, disappointed at the eavesdropping hsr men lmao): "... i think they're just complete losers! :D *ahem* how close do you-"

oc!trailblazer/reader, (mf blushing): "-yes."

march: "???? oookay..." (contemplates to ask one of sampos questions, before finally getting the courage to ask) "so... y/n... would you want to be intimate with them? like- you kn-"

oc!trailblazer: "yes." (eyes become fogged with lust as she begins to fantasize about them, not knowing theyre in a hidden room)

march: "???!!!)_9_(__(($#)"!!2?????? o-okay! ahah! uhm... w-who are you thinking of in specif-"

oc!trailblazer: "...i dont care, i can take them all, and not in a fight..." (huffing subtly lmao)

march: "?????????????????? BITCH? HUH???"

oc!trailblazer: [insert slutty horny shit, absolutely bewildering both stelle and march, not knowing the HSR MEN ARE ALL LISTENING]

oc!trailblazer: [insert more slutty whore-y shit, if given the chance she would want to take all of their thick cocks <3 also getting carried away as she forgets march and stelle are with her]

march & stelle: [appropriate canon response of their close friend being so fucking horny]

hsr men eavesdropping: (both horny and disbelief and looking at each other like the spiderman meme shit idk let your imagination run wild)

— lets not forget the men eavesdropping and listening to the one whom they admired talk about getting fucked ruthlessly and mercilessly by all of them, gangbang, as shes finally expressing her inner slut to march and stelle LMAO, u can add their reacts too behind the hidden room conpartment reacting to oc!trailblazer!

—

yeah i

this is one of my ideas and obsessions so i hope u take inspiration and do this... in your own way ofcs! i just typed out dialogues n shit for a clear idea of what im going for, if u read all this thank you so much for at least reading and i hope all kinds of inspiration hit you like a truck !! 😭

Hello there Carmine <3 First of, thanks for the love for my writing like please I'm blushing from your niceness 🤗

Reading through your idea I think I could write up something quick. Maybe the reader is going on about her fantasies of taking the men and then in the other room describing their reactions and thoughts. You say reader and Stelle are different right? I'll keep that in mind while writing.

Also you said that you wanted to try writing this but are scared...I say go for it!! We all start from somewhere. I still remember when I wrote my first few smut fics and they were obviously much worse compared to where I am now but I only got here by writing and writing and I feel like I still have a long journey ahead of me. If you really want to, I encourage you to try writing this in your own way :))

Apart from that, I'll try to write this as soon as I can hehe

P.S. No apologizing for being horny and sharing horny thougts. This is a safe space for thirty people huehuehu

[market-board-baron]

My schedule for working on the MSQ:

5:15 - Wipe Cheeto fingers on pants and dodge girlfriend’s look away attack. Ready to roll.

5:30 - Finish restocking my retainers and sending them on ventures. Time to get back on track.

5:31 - Back at the summoning bell because I realized I’ve got a bunch of scrap material from desynthesizing things I couldn’t turn in for GC seals.

5:40 - I should probably do my daily tickets at the Gold Saucer.

5:52 - Triple Triad open tournament in 8 minutes? That has to be done.

6:11 - Place 8th in open tournament.

6:19 - Place 6th in open tournament.

6:33 - Place 8th in open tournament.

6:39 - Finish sending my retainers on ventures. Notice the FC garden needs some love.

6:43 - Thinking about the FC, I realize nobody has sent the airship out today. Better do that.

6:44 - Airship could really use some new components. I’ll start work on that.

7:01 - After gathering for 20 minutes, look up on the wiki what you need for even a single part. Give this up as an exercise in futility.

7:02 - I’m in Coerthas for darksteel ore. Might as well pay Haurchefant a visit.

7:10 - Break for supper.

7:37 - Send retainers on ventures. My inventory is full now and I need to turn in for GC seals.

7:42 - I’m capped on seals. Spend it all on 4.0 materiel crates and pray for Copycat Bulb.

7:44 - Pull three King of Anemos and one Yugiri minion. Discard them all. I should probably get back to the story now.

7:47 - Teleport to the next story quest area before remembering it’s a trial. Watch the trial video guide.

7:52 - Wow, that looks hard. Watch the guide again.

7:57 - Have completely tuned out and am making a meme about trials in FFXIV.

8:02 - Watch the video one more time. Realize I’m not up to this today, or at least not right now. Hop on Minecraft.

8:40 - Restock retainers and work up the courage to get this trial done. Watch the video guide one more time.

8:45 - Make another meme about trials. Realize that I will have to watch the guide one more time, and that by the time I do and then get matched in a queue, it will be past bed time. Head back to the FC house.

8:50 - Water and fertilize FC plants. Some of them are ready to harvest!

9:10 - Have been fully engrossed in a gardening crossbreeding guide for half an hour. Realize I forgot to do my PvP roulette.

9:18 - We’re 4 minutes into Seal Rock and have 0 points. I’m at battle high 0. Shout “comeback starts now” into the chat. Two of our party leaves. Place third.

9:31 - Retainers will be back from ventures in a few minutes. Might as well send them on one more venture before bed. Am out of venture tokens.

9:33 - Buy more venture tokens for GC seals. There’s a commotion in the streets of Ul’dah. Some kind of parade?

9:40 - Have walked a lap in the parade. No idea what’s going on. Stop at the Itinerant Moogle and check out what he’s got. I’m not far off of some of the cooler items.

10:29 - Have played several rounds of Frontlines. Managed to snag a second place finish in one of them. Have enough tomestones now, but am capped on wolf marks. I should probably spend those.

10:34 - Been poring over the options for a while before finally dropping the full 20K on cateblopas horns. Will probably never wear them.

10:37 - Walked around Wolves’ Den for a while before logging off for the night.

11:01 - Logged back in to send retainers on one more round of ventures.

[transingthoseformers]

How do you think Team Prime eventually finds out about the sparkling? The cons probably realize something needs to be done and while Knock Out is probably allowed to get the closest, that's still nowhere close enough to actually examine the bitlet. Also, they probably know fuck-all about sparklings, only the barest basics. I'm just imagining them having to call the bots, or Ratchet really, and having to ask for advice. That's gotta sting, just a bit. All that effort to separate Prime and Megatron, and then this happens.

(Also I'm just Oppy shoving Ratchet out of the way as soon as he hears Megatron+sparkling and just going w h a t. Even though he wouldn't do it, it's still a funny image in my mind.)

So, I've actually been thinking about this, as thinking of the ~timeline~ there's a few possibilities. Especially since, mathematically speaking it's been at least a few months since the Orion arc and Megatron's been in medical hell for a few weeks now. I'm thinking as farcas gestational period goes we have around 5 months at Least to around a year of timeline play here.

It very well may be a tipping point of medical necessity as you mentioned above, and that would probably be in the case of them learning about Pharma's presence on Earth rather than simply being present in Tarn's fics. It would be like pulling teeth for them to gather the courage to ask the autobots this. Especially since, let's be real, basically everyone knows fuck all about sparklings. That's gonna be so goddamn awkward, especially since the Nemesis is on a communication blackout— the autobots have only been getting short and occasional glimpses from the GC.

Miko, as I've established, at some point has made an absolute game of finding her way onto the Nemesis and Soundwave has gotten mildly desensitized to her antics. All it takes is for her to even hear the word sparkling mentioned and absolutely run wild with this.

Megatron somehow gets off the ship thanks to the ship temporarily becoming dangerous towards a sparkling (such as the altered events of Flying Mind where it's Shockwave who dumps dark energon into the ship, and the ship is suddenly the One Guy who's most motivated to find iacon database relics bc computer logic) and the autobots happenstance on the warlord who they legitimately haven't seen in a while. Conflict nearly ensues until someone notices a fucking sparkling he's violently protecting.

And many other opportunities because let's be real Megatron cannot hide that long from the autobots, and shit's gonna go down with MECH, the new insecticon faction, and Tarn's literally unholy deal with the Fallen. The war between autobots and Decepticons may be coming to a close, but there will be much shorter ones involving the parties above.

[imjustcoping]

21/10/22

i get the feeling my best friend doesn't believe in non binary.  A while ago she said that she didn't believe it was a a thing.  she literally called it a phase because she didn't know any adult that were non binary who used they/them in their pronouns.  Which i find silly because she is a pansexual girl who should understand the stigma that gay people faced and still face.  After years of being told that being gay isn't real and that its just a phase and she says that.  and she doesn't really view trans people as people- she says its because her dad is a doctor and he finds it really difficult to diagnose trans patients when he doenst know what they are.  Its so fucking stupid he could legit just ask if they were afab or amab but it should already be in their medical history.  i fucking hate it.  I also sent before and after picture of me wearing a binder and i was so happy.  In the GC T congratulated me and gave me a shit ton of affirmations and it made me feel so genuinely good.  but S just ignored it.  I know we are drifting apart and i know its my fault because this always happens.  after 5 years they go, they just disappear into the mist, a new school, new friends, or im too much

And last night i was doing an assignment on 2 separate books.  Aftter i finished the first one i went on tiktok and of course a bunch of relatable autism stuff starts coming up and a vid about the raads-r test comes up.  so i do teh test and  get high scores and i do a bunch more of those tests and keep getting high scores in them.. In my 3am haze i sent the quiz to my family gc because im almost positive that my dad has autism.  But he had a partially open discussion about it with me the next morning, to  be continued for when i wasnt late for school.  when i finally gathered up the courage to tell my bsf from before that day that i scored high in these autism tests and i was kind of excited to maybe understand why im like this, because ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  ad autism can often be misdiagnosed for those two mental illnesses if you have been kind of traumatized as an autistic person. She told me that it probably isnt it.  She old me that sh doesn't trust those autism tests and that i shouldnt just self diagnose and that the depression and anxiety is whats making me think that.  It felt liek shit.  becsue tehre is a lot of evidence towards me being autistic, alongside the teste there s also a bunch of symptoms and there is a link between autism and asexuality(im asexual) where in a population of people there is about 1% asexuals but in the autistic populations they were far more likely to be asexual or feel disgusted toward sexual penetration.  

I know that i cant just self diagnose but im trying to figure out whats wrong with me and its not like im about to go around telling everyone im autistic becasue ive self diagnosed my depression and anxiety for years and have only told like three people, and even now that ive been diagnosed i haven't told anyone else.  Im not doing this because its trendy, the trend has just made me aware of how many autistic traits i carry around with me.  i was just finally happy that maybe im getting somewhere with figuring out my mental health.

I think im gonna tell my other friend from that group chat.  she is so supportive and has suspicions that she is autisic too. So im going to send her a message, with a forewarning.  I just want to talk to someone who is actually going to listen about what i have to say before throwing her opinion in.  And the pure confusion i have relation to my inability to express and know what emotions im feeling, she knows i have trouble with expressing my emotions and talking about how i feel but she doesnt seem to realise the impact on me

The dumb part about my friend telling me not to self diagnose is that she has been telling EVERYONE that she has ADHD for 2 years, she even told us in a group convo when she was accusing someone else of being a pick me for pretending to have adhd, someone pointed oout to my frined that she kind of mentioned having adhd a lot aswell and my friend tells everyone that her therapist diagnosed her.  she lied to us and Up until now she didnt say she didnt have adhd until shes trying to prove me wrong.  She basically said that she cant say she has adhd just because she gets easily distracted.  

I had fully supported her, when she claimed she had adhd, i believed her and did my won research, sending her videos which are supposed to help learning in a nuerotypical classroom easier.  and all she does is tell me that those tests arent reliable.  AT LEAST I ACTUALLY TOOK SOME TESTS INSTEAD OF PROPERLY SELF DIAGNOSING FOR YEARS AND BRAGGING ABOUT ADHD AND USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO INTERRUPT AND IGNORE PEOPLE.AND T

[just-a-lil-otter]

Joining a new gc/having a new moot as someone who's socially anxious feels like defusing a bomb in a way

Like I feel like if I say one thing wrong or even try to talk at all it's gonna blow up in my face so I just keep my mouth shut until I gather a rare bit of courage

[jayyyzyz]

Even i gather courage to hurt myself i cannot hurt people that love me including my friends.

@ash-stfu

Burchatte GC,

Sun , Aug 6 , 22:44

[goshiyachi]

Taking a Step forward

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi/ Hinata Shouyou; Oikawa Tooru/ Semi Eita (background relationship) Summary: Ushijima had always prided himself for being organized, even when his career choices seemed drastically different. He had always some form of control; that is until he was confronted with Hinata Shouyou.   Prompts Used: Flight, Burn from @ushihinaprompts and Past, Future, Summer, Hot @ushihinaweek Additional Tags: Post Canon, Canon Divergence, Post College, retirement (sort of), career changes, falling in love, awkwardly getting to know each other, Farmer Ushijima, Garden enthusiast Hinata, market shop meetings

Or read on Ao3.

Living away from the suburbs and remnants of the city somehow made Ushijima giddy. It could have been due to finally being free from the pollution in the air caused from the city that made him frown and cough more than he appreciated. Or it could have been from the fewer noises that dulled into his senses in the less populated areas that gave him inner peace. There was something about hearing the wind chime with the birds as he grew his vegetables that made him content. The neighbors were polite enough to indulge in his questions when they arose. If anything, most of the demographic was more than willing to open their arms for his company.

They were all pleasant with interesting viewpoints from living in such a closed community. Years have passed but the lands were hardly touched from modern inconveniences. It was sort of comforting the way the lands he was stepping on now were preserved in a way that couldn’t be described perfectly. Almost like they were timeless, the time flew slow and fast the way he worked on the lands he was given by his father’s side. It had been awhile since he’s talked to his father and more since he seen visited his grandmother when she was alive. The few ties that withered from them barely made him utter their names. Nonetheless, he was thankful for rekindling, it made it more peaceful when he communicated with his father.

He was more willingly to hear from him through letters and occasional calls. Even as they were both adults now, it seemed like the distance he was raised by now still clung to their tendencies. There were no ill bordered feelings between them; rather Ushijima came to find peace with their interactions. He already shown his father what volleyball meant to him over the years. They had both already celebrated his success when he reached the top. Now his new chapter consisted of him learning more about his side hobbies.

Living on the court was what got him the short-term fame, the recognition of loving a sport so much that people were able to relate and, to see that Ushijima always followed through when he gave his word. He showed to his extended family that he was more than a minor disappointment. He was content and rather successful after a long career in volleyball. After he was given many offers to continue living in the sports realm, he instead chose to break away and take a breather. To explore the quieter and humble roots of simple lifestyles. Ushijima was never much of materialistic person when he was younger and it didn’t change when his bank account held too many zeros now.

He was older, somewhat wiser to be able to see what life still had to offer him. Even as his lifestyle was slowly molding into another stage, it didn’t automatically confirm he was isolated. Rather, it was opposite. He still maintained his friendships that ranged from his high school and all the way to his professional days when he was still a volleyball player. Like Tendou, who always managed to get Ushijima to Skype or text message him practically every day. His messages in particular, were always baffling and amusing. (Especially since they were always layered with internet memes and conspiracy theories that rivaled Oikawa’s.) It was like a contrast of his quieter routines of waking up and tending his garden.

But they were still a part of his past that he cherished. He was always confused with the strange anime Tendou followed, but he was polite enough to ask about his friend’s fandoms as well to ask about how the city life was working for him. His more recent acquaintances were also welcomed when he looked at his emails and social media accounts that Oikawa made for him when they were college teammates. He may have never understood the need to party or partake in drinking socially, but he was happy for his friends and acquaintances that did. He offered congratulations to others when it was shown, he clicked like when there was an amusing video but overall, it came to no one’s shock that he hardly ever commented about of his days.

Which was why he should have seen the day coming when Oikawa (of all people) would bombard Ushijima in his newly refurbished home while he was tending to his land. Oikawa didn’t come out to the countryside to judge him as he watched Ushijima plant a couple of seasonal vegetables; rather he was just that curious on Ushijima’s drastic career change that he packed up two big suit cases and claimed that he was in the middle of vacation and wanted to say hi. They didn’t comment about how impulsive it was for him to leave the city. Or that Ushijima would most likely house Oikawa until he would announce when he had enough of staying in the country. Instead, what happened was Ushijima finished his task while Oikawa poked around and loudly acclaim that he would later redesign the extra empty rooms since it was known Ushijima had a plain style.

As the hours simmered down, Ushijima felt at ease watching Oikawa complain about the few decorations he had. It almost felt like he was back in college when he was roomed with him. Their old routines of washing up and preparing food was something he did miss. Living in the country was lonely sometimes; especially since he was always surrounded by more colorful people since he first joined a volleyball team in elementary. He liked the silence and life he made now, but with Oikawa near him and too familiar he couldn’t deny how happy Oikawa made him.

It made him remember of all the friends he made back in the city and suburbs.

And just like that it got him thinking about all the few people around Ushijima’s age that lived close by now. It was sparse and limited; he may have been not that picky in the past but Ushijima all the same couldn’t help but wonder if his friends and mainly his acquaintances back in the city held some truth in their worries. He could almost recite all those questions they asked and repeated since he revealed his next set of plans.

“But why would you want to move where there’s hardly any Wi-Fi?”

“Are you going bankrupt?” that usually went with the next statement, “Why not just sell that land and get a better apartment here.”

“Aren’t you worried that you’ll get mauled by wild animals?”

There were more silly and overrated nonsense that were said. But there were others that expressed the concern of him isolating himself.

“Aren’t you happy now?”

“Is there something that’s bothering you?”

“Do you want to talk about it now before you'll do something you'll regret later?”

Either way most of the people that were off put with his decision left soon. The few in between understood why he left. Still, he couldn’t help but recall their voices as he noticed that the few times he went to the center of the town he made more acquaintances than friends. As if sensing Ushijima’s thoughts Oikawa started to blab about how his model career was blooming, and how Semi was going to come later this week because unlike Oikawa he was smarter (practical) about informing the necessary people about his and Oikawa’s absences. The rest of evening was a quiet affair of Ushijima giving few details of his new routines and few selected friends that he kept in touch.

He even told Oikawa that he would stay in the country a bit longer until he felt comfortable enough and to check in city. It was a compromise that he expected from Oikawa coming for a visit. He knew that some people saw his change as something almost unexpected and extreme but it wasn’t. Rather, it was something that Ushijima had once dreamed about doing after achieving his sports dream. It was more of a natural turn of events. He still had doubts running around his head, but he continued settling in his new environment.

The next few days were filled with Ushijima grimacing at Oikawa’s (failed and short-lived) attempts of gardening. It was evident that Oikawa didn’t have a green thumb to test the waters on Ushijima’s easier plants. (It made sense as to why Oikawa was more keen to having cactus as houseplants). In those few days of Ushijima getting used to having Oikawa around and efficiently killing two rows of flowers he ultimately sentenced his friend to kitchen duty. (That was where Oikawa shined anyways.) It didn’t take long until the arrival of Semi making Ushijima’s home feel warmer.

Under his home, Ushijima watched Oikawa and Semi bring forth a domesticity that he has yet encountered in his life. After all those long years of success and basking in the light of volleyball Ushijima knew that at the end of the day he sacrificed a side of himself when he vowed to be at the top. Back then, he never saw love as a weakness rather a luxury that he knew he couldn’t have been able to afford. Not when he was so absorbed into the sport and high dreams cling into his fingertips. There was this buildup of hype around him, a crowd of expectations and a grand feeling of having to prove himself. During most of his youth Ushijima had a plan. One where he would fly across the air and battle for his own aspirations.

He dealt with the passing whims and people scattered at all directions in his life. Ushijima was no stranger to having others try to lead him astray. They never won; and it made it clear how Ushijima was vastly too different from them. With his progress always moving forward he saw no reason to lock himself completely from his friends. (Even if there was a small part of him that longed to have someone beside him.) That was why when he reached his finishing line in volleyball Ushijima was a little relieved that all his sacrifices throughout his past bared fruit.

It made moving to the countryside feel right.

Like a weight, he carried from long ago it slowly started to unclasped when he finished packing all his belongings from his old apartment in the city. Changing his atmosphere was therapeutic, as it gave him a chance to see what his success left him. Being reminded of what he sought deep in his heart when he caught Semi and Oikawa together in their own bubble in his kitchen made him see the little worries he buried underneath the surface. He would always be thankful of having friends like them coming to check on him and Tendou who always bugged him for messages every day but Ushijima knew he couldn’t always live too silent. (Or away from people in general.) He may have been an awkward child with brilliant athleticism but Ushijima had lived long enough to see where his new limits were when it came to engaging in social groups.

“Ushijima,” he looked directly to Semi calling out to him, “how long has it been since you went grocery shopping?”

Recalling all the meals Oikawa kept producing non-stop, “A week I suppose,”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see how ill-prepared Ushijima was when it came to stocking up and Oikawa being a little reckless with his spending. (It would always be a mystery as to how Ushijima and Oikawa survived when they were roommates in college before Oikawa started dating Semi.) From the look, he caught from Oikawa he knew where he would spend the next day. After finishing his morning chores with the help of Semi and Oikawa making a quick breakfast they drove to the center of the sleepy farming town. Even after becoming familiar of the drive Ushijima always found himself a little breathless when he caught the sight of the few stores and people mingling.

There was a warmth and familiarity between the crowds, like a giant family reunion gathering in one place. There were booths stalled up and music playing. Children were all running around with their parents close enough to watch them while still comfortably conversing with one another. It was something that made Ushijima grateful that Oikawa had picked out his outfit before they left. As they went closer they noticed some flyers announcing of the farmers’ market being open for the weekend.

With the liveliness thriving Oikawa made a beeline to the closest booths and tents. It didn’t take long for Semi to rein in Oikawa close by holding his hand and having Ushijima catching up without effort. In no time, Ushijima was surrounded by colorful signs and products. There were people that came around and reintroduced themselves to his friends. It was sort of funny how there were people that did recognize how famous Semi and Oikawa were. It didn’t cause a huge traffic stop like a city street would have created but it was enough to Ushijima smile at witnessing a new layer of the town he moved in.

By the fourth selfie and fifth autograph Ushijima texted Semi that he would check out the other side of the market booths and tents. Escaping the small crowd, he was able to talk to more people and see how friendly the community truly was. As he was headed for a spice booth he was confronted by a smack of sunflowers on his chest. The unexpected force made him step back and catch the flowers and the person who was blindly grasping them for dear life. From the other side, there was a loud scream and a mountain of mumbled apologies after he was steadied.

Ushijima slowly let go and watched an orange blob of hair peep out. “I’m so sorry!” the flowers were turned to their side and cradled. “I didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?”

Before Ushijima could say anything, he looked down to meet bright brown eyes, unruly orange hair that was messily tied into a small ponytail. There was an air about him that seemed familiar as if he met him before. His throat felt clogged and his heart started to pumped irregularly.

“I’m alright.”

There was a flash of relief and embarrassment that swept through the guy, “That’s good.” He tilted his head forward and fidgeted his fingers awkwardly for a couple of seconds. “Well I guess I better go back to my booth before my grandparents get worried.”

Ushijima raised a hand, “I could help you carry them back. That is if it’s okay with you.”

“Oh, I couldn’t—"

Ushijima tried his best to look friendly, “It wouldn’t be a bother.”

When he smiled at him as their fingers brushed Ushijima knew he was a goner.

“Okay. I’ll lead the way.”

As they walked past a couple of more booths Ushijima couldn’t help but focused on the guy’s excited chatter. There was something about the way he spoke that made him listen intently, of trying to catch all the smallest details of the guy in front of him. Like how the more excited he got to a particular part of the story he would vibrate, or how his voice would project itself in an animated way. There was this positive energy that circled around him that it made Ushijima feel like he was staring at the sun itself. He didn’t want to look away, he didn’t want to separate either when they made it to flower shop’s booth. Even though there was a more practical side of Ushijima looming over his shoulder he couldn’t help but get lost into those brown eyes and randomly open his mouth to purchase a couple of prearranged bouquets.

When he regrouped with Semi and Oikawa, they openly and curiously commented about the abundant flower purchase Ushijima made. His cheeks were hot, his heart was still beating rapidly and in that moment, he didn’t know how to form any words with the way his tongue was heavy. After all, what exactly could have he said to them other than, Ushijima Wakatoshi fell in love with the flower shop guy from the market shop event. That he would most likely come back tomorrow and then when the event would be over he would start buying from his local flower shop in no time. Yeah, that last bit sounded almost too unlike him. But he couldn’t exactly say that he would do the opposite.

Not when he found something that made him happier of his choice of moving away and starting a new life. It was summer now, with its blistering heats and plants hovering and thriving. His skin may have been boiling but in that second Ushijima was burning for a different reason. In the background, Oikawa picked up on Ushijima’s demeanor and started laughing while going over his plans of helping him woo the flower boy. And as they drove back to Ushijima’s home he couldn’t help but outwardly smile as he watched Semi try to reason Oikawa and his overly dramatic plans. He made a quick glance at the back of his car and admired the flowers he bought before refocusing on the road.

Tomorrow he would see him again, and this time he would not forget to ask for his name.

[bleutectic]

quick like life update and rant thing?

hi yes school sucks i am STRESSED

no im kidding i love school and most of the stress is done so im good

but like people at school suck. two in general. long story short, i forgot about something i was gonna do (aka going to the zoo with some friends) when we set the deadline for when everyone had to finish their part of the lab report thingy whatever thing (which i had to put together), meaning i would have to check everything (grammar, spelling, weird sentences, if it was actually like true etc) and make one big file with everything in the morning when the actual deadline is 12pm. thats literally impossible so i asked if people could try finishing their part a little sooner so i had some more time. 2 guys made a big deal out of it bc i asked if they were nearly done and suddenly it was a big fucking problem that i asked bc i was going to the zoo. theyre both dicks and were completely nailing me into the ground. it sucked but thankfully everything happened in our gc and im a lot braver online than irl tbh. so anyways i shot back a few goodgood arguments, took a shower, finished the report (funfact their part was handed in about 8 hours after the orriginal deadline we set and also it was the biggest load of crap i had ever seen) and now the report/deadline stress is over

so yah all thats left is to be really fucking anxious about the next time i see them irl yay

[bwoahtastic]

Lil Maxs first time staying over with Charles…and Charles puts him to bed but doesn’t sleep great until he hears Max walking over to his room really quietly🥺🥺because he wanted cuddles with his momma, and he has his teddy n blanket and just looks up at Charles with big eyes hoping he’ll let him sleep and cuddle with him😭🥺

nngggg Charles tucking Maxy in in his own little bed in the spare room and just making sure he has teddies and blankies widely available!

He is definitely nervous about being solely responsible for Max for a bit and just hope Max doesnt hate him or smthn, and then little Maxy comes into the room holding his teddy and fav blanket and just staring up at Charles with hopeful eyes! Pup probably spend an hour gathering courage to go to Charles, and it takes him a few more shaky breaths to gather courage to ask for snuggles!!!

Charles instantly scooping him up and tuckign him into his nest and just cooing so so happiyl Max just maybe pup squeaking for the first time too and Charles firmly promises him he is always ready for snuggles!! Max just falling asleep so quickly after that and Charles sends a quick pic in the "Max's papas" gc (it changes to "Max's papas and momma" after a while) just to prove Maxy is alive and happy skks

[murphy-kitt]

Murphy’s Fic Roundup 2021

I saw this and am stealing it from @kawaiijohn

Works: 46 (47?)

Word Count: 131,667

Events: DannyMay, Sidehoes Week, Angst Week, Ectober, Holiday Truce

Fics in order from oldest to newest updated. This is a very long post, my god.

—

Grave Consequences | 33k | 9/9

Amity Park decide to make a memorial in memory of Phantom, revealing some secrets along the way.

Brush With Death (Side Hoes Week) | 5k

Danny just can’t catch a break, no matter what. One-shots correlating with GC.

Memories (Dannymay) | 957 | Angst

Maddie thinks she knows who Phantom is. Misunderstanding AU.

Home (Dannymay) | 1.1k | Outsider POV

No one knows where Phantom lives, but Amity Park will do all they can to make him feel welcome.

Portal (Dannymay) | 822 | Angst

Danny can’t remember.

Stars (Dannymay) | 2.9k | Fluff

Danny has a new power to do with constellations.

Doorway (Dannymay) | 1k

Phantom joins Amity Park’s Space Club, but no one remembers who he was. Part 2 to Home.

Core (Dannymay) | 1k | Fluff

Jack tries to work out what the mysterious humming that’s been bothering him for months is. Identity Reveal.

Illusion (Dannymay) | 1k | Angst

Ghosts are dead, the figment of the past, yet Phantom’s eyes are filled with life.

Gravity (Dannymay) | 794 | Angst

Maddie enlists the help of Phantom to find her missing son, unaware he’s already dead. Full Ghost AU. No One Knows AU.

Candlelight (Dannymay) | 1.6k | Fluff

While gathering the courage to talk to Danny about his secret, Jack reminisces over memories. Part 2 to Core.

Shadows (Dannymay) | 1.3k | Angst

Phantom questions Maddie after their recent encounter leaves him confused. Part 2 to Misunderstanding AU.

Midnight (Dannymay) | 1.1k |

Jazz goes out to find her missing brother, and meets a ghost.

Scars (Dannymay) | 1.1k | Angst

She feels she doesn’t even know who her own son is anymore. Identity Reveal.

Neon (Dannymay) | 1.1k | Suspense

There had always been something strange about Danny Fenton. Corpse AU. Suspense.

Beyond The Grave (Dannymay) | 1k | 1/?

Danny knows he should be happy about the memorial, but with his parents coming closer to finding out his secret, it’s only so long until his body is found. Corpse AU. Sequel to Grave Consequences.

Glow (Dannymay) | 1.2k | Outsider POV

A group of medics attempt to treat Phantom after a ghost fight leaves him seriously injured. Identity Reveal.

Freedom (Dannymay) | 1.3k | Angst

Valerie captures Phantom, and with him, finds a video tape.

Frozen (Dannymay) | 922 | Angst

Is she really that bad a parent that her own son won’t call her Mom?

Seasons (Dannymay) | 1.6k | Angst

Sam and Tucker strive to help Phantom, unknowing of his real identity. No One Knows AU. Identity Reveal.

Teeth (Dannymay) | 2.3k | Outsider POV

Phantom is upset, and Amity Park doesn’t know why.

Wings (Dannymay) | 1.3k | Fluff

The A Listers meet Phantom’s pet ghost birb.

Mist (Dannymay) | 1.4k | Suspense

Edward Lancer struggles to decipher the enigma that is Danny Fenton. Identity Reveal. Gore and Injury.

daydreaming of toast cannons and being a little shit (Dannymay) | 2.9k | Humour / Crack | 1/2

Danny creates a twitter account for Phantom and trolls the crap out of everyone.

Cozy (Dannymay) | 1.1k | Fluff

Jack finally learns his sons secret, and he’ll accept him no matter what. Part 3 to Core.

Hallway (Dannymay) | 1.2k | Suspense

It was unexpected, to say the least when Phantom wandered into third period English class and fell asleep into Danny Fenton’s seat. Gore. Angst.

Creation (Going Angst Week) | 2.4k | Angst

Danny realises he doesn’t age and prepares to say goodbye to his family and friends.

Instinct (Going Angst Week) | 997 | Angst

She waits in the park, preparing for Phantom to arrive, ectogun in hand. Major Character Death.

Family (Going Angst Week) | 3.6k | Angst

Maddie and Jack question Phantom about their missing son. They weren’t expecting to learn that he’s dead. Identity Reveal. Part 2 to Gravity.

Lapse | 3.8k | Angst | 1/?

An AU in which Danny loses his memory every time he goes ghost and doesn’t know he’s Phantom.

Corruption (Going Angst Week) | 874 | Angst

She wouldn’t fall for his piteous expression trying to garner sympathy off her. Major Character Death.

Treat (Ectober) | 1k | Outsider POV

It was unexpected to say the least, when the Price family came upon Phantom raiding their Halloween candy outside the front porch.

Scream (Ectober) | 1.6k | Suspense / Angst

While speculating about how Phantom is connected to their son, the Fenton’s learn something about the ghost boy.

Danny Fenton - Cryptid Of Caspar High (Ectober) | 1k | Humour / Crack

Caspar High discusses the enigma that is Danny Fenton through a series of twitter posts.

Goo (Ectober) | 1.2k | Outsider POV

The last thing the medical team was expecting was for Phantom to turn human when treating his injuries. But will he accept their help? Part 2 to Glow. Identity Reveal.

Oujia Board (Ectober) | 2.9k | Angst

Danny is dead, and Sam and Tucker will do anything to get him back. Full Ghost AU.

Abyss (Ectober) | 1.1k | Outsider POV

A student in Caspar High manages to spot Danny’s eyes glowing green. From there onwards, rumours fly.

Incinerate (Ectober) | 1.4k | Angst

The last thing Jack expected to find when seeking out the lab for an intruder was his own son, bleeding and covered from head to toe in ectoplasm. Blood & Injury. Gore.

Mask (Ectober) | 1.3k | Angst

Danny never really took a minute to consider what he looked like in Phantom form. He didn’t need to, not really. Danny’s HAZMAT has a hood AU.

Blessing (Ectober) | 1.5k | Fluff

Danny and Maddie bake cookies together, and revelations are made. Partial Identity Reveal.

Void (Ectober) | 675 |

It’s class photo day at Caspar High, and of course Danny’s ghostliness will interfere.

Witching Hour (Ectober) | 1.7k | Angst

On a ghosts deathday, they will reexperience their death. Unfortunately, it’s Danny’s first deathday, and no one ever told him this information.

take the secrets to the grave | 4.4k | 1/4

After Amity Park makes a fake funeral for Phantom, it’s not long before Danny’s web of lies begin unraveling. Corpse AU. No One Knows AU.

Insomnia (Ectober) | 1.7k | Fluff

After finding his son eating ghost cookies late at night, Jack learns things he didn’t think were possible. Part 2 to Blessing.

lie like a tombstone (yet secrets will bloom) | 23k | Angst | 7/?

Valerie finds Phantom’s body in the park. No One Knows AU. Corpse AU.

Pondering (Holiday Truce) | 3.3k | Angst

After pondering over the whereabouts of her brother, Jazz spots Danny using his ghost powers and instantly assumes the worst. Identity Reveal

(Technically published in 2022, but I don’t care)

[homebody-nobody]

you wanna play with fire (stick and poke tattoo)

Jax did you actually write a whole nother fic?? Why yes, dear reader, I did. This is porn, blame @hvitstark​ and @aarchiess​ and the rest of the jiara gc for filling up the Sin Bin with inspiration every day. PLEASE interact with this post I work really hard on these fics and seeing them get like ~30 notes and then dying drains my soul.  ------------------------ ao3 -------------------------

‘Come home on time or don’t bother coming home at all!’

Her mother’s words echo in her ears as Kiara stomps away from the house in the late-summer heat. Tears well and sting in her eyes and she wipes them away, refusing to let them fall. She doesn’t understand why her parents don’t get it. Her dad grew up in the Cut. Her mom fell in love there, had Kie there, got married there. She belongs there, so much more than on Figure Eight or anywhere else in kooklandia. There’s an honesty to the Cut that evaporates the closer you get to the country clubs and McMansions on the other side of the island. Her heart feels open there, loved and loving. What happened, to make her parents forget all that? Is money really that important, that corrupting and all-consuming, that they would forget what loyalty feels like? What family is? 

JJ’s sitting on the porch when she gets to the Chateau, a paperback folded in half in his left hand and a soda dangling from his right. He stands up when he sees her. “Hey,” he says. He’s wearing one of his absurd cutoffs, cargo shorts slung low and no shoes. There’s a cigarette tucked behind his ear and his hair is a ruffled mess, like he’s had his hands in it, thinking too hard. He looks like some ridiculous parody of a vagabond, every bad boy the after-school specials always warned her about. 

Taking a deep breath, she nods to the book in his hand. “I didn’t know you could read,” she says. It’s easier to make fun then show the way her heart opens and bleeds at the sight of him. 

He smiles, lopsided and quiet. “Good to see you, too.” 

She mounts the stairs to the porch without asking, even though with every step she takes closer to him, she’s less sure of how to act. They haven’t talked since the night John B died, since the last time she was here. They had sex, the night the Phantom went down. It was fast and messy and a little awkward, because she was still Kie and he was still JJ, and fucking your best friend for the first time is never easy, now matter how long you’ve been waiting to do it. 

It’s barely been a week, but it feels like longer, and since she got home that next morning, her parents have been tiptoeing around her, waiting for something to break. It was the simplest thing, really, Kie wondering aloud about JJ, about how he was doing and how she might help him pay off his restitution. (Now that Plan A has spiraled down to Plan L and that failed, besides.) It was her mother and her thinly-veiled scoff, the way it tugged at Kie like calloused skin on fresh sheets. It was Kie mentioning dipping into her college fund to help him, and her parents promptly flying off the handle. 

And then, the threat of boarding school, of taking her away from everything she knows and everything she loves, shutting her up in the mountains like some hysterical family member in a victorian asylum, sending her to some institution claiming to be a high school but is basically a finishing school prepping spoiled debutantes for husband-hunting at the ivies. She won’t be one of those girls. 

JJ greets her with the usual handshake, and when he goes to sit back down, she grabs at his fingers before she loses the courage, because she doesn’t want to think about any of it anymore, not John B or Sarah, not boarding school, not the tenuous future her parents are planning for her and how little she wants it. He stops, frozen, and every one of her senses is trained on the minimal brush of skin, the tension in his back. She wants her hands on him, her nails dragging down his arms, the taste of his sweat and the burn of his gaze. She wants to be lost in him, because touching JJ switches everything else off. He’s like a magnet for her attention, everything blurring until it’s just his mouth and his hands and his -- 

“Kie,” he says, a warning in his usually jovial voice. His gaze is locked on her hand, her slender fingers tangled in his, gentle things, held between strength and violence. “You said --” 

“I know --” she says, pausing for half a second, surprised by her tone and the immediacy of her response. How quickly she wants to forget the lies she told herself about being able to stay away from him, after knowing what his tongue feels like on her clit and the way he fits perfectly inside her, like they were meant to come together. “What I said.” She’s looking at their linked hands as well, but she’s imagining his between her legs, wants to pull him forward and put it there, just to stop feeling so fucking human, because he makes her feel celestial, instead. 

“So?” he asks, licking his lips, his breath picking up like he can read her mind, see her the way she wants to be, naked and underneath him. 

“So maybe,” she says, her heartbeat rising in her own throat, taking half a step toward him, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth. His eyes betray him, flicking up to her face and following the motion. She looks up at him, and the second her brown eyes land on his, he’s done resisting, done even considering it. He melts, when she looks at him like that, so grateful for it, after waiting so many years convinced it wouldn’t ever happen. “I changed my mind.” 

The air hangs heavy and charged as JJ’s rational side, weak to begin with and driven deep with years of half-thought-out decisions and anticipated-yet-ignored consequences, scrambles to pull him out of her orbit, to get him to let go and stop her from burning up in the periphery of his constant firestorm. But her eyes are on his, and she’s touching him, and she’s asking, and the moon could fall without him noticing, right now. 

She pulls, and he follows, and they’re crashing into each other, a kiss that starves before it is even born. Paint flakes and dust fill the air when she slams back against the side of the house, her arms looped around JJ’s neck, one of his tight around her waist, the other braced on the siding, fist clenched, forearm taught. The second he touches her, the world stops spinning, or maybe just they do, because she’s dizzy and soaring under his mouth, chest to chest and sharing breath between teeth and lips and tongues. Victory rises in her chest, pride and anticipation simmering just below the beautiful, vacant hunger that comes from JJ kissing her like this, and it’s that pride that bruises, just a little, when he pulls away. 

“You can’t just jump me when you’re upset,” he says, but it’s into her neck, practically a growl as his hand flexes against the small of her back, gathering up her shirt, his fingernails just grazing her skin. 

“Can’t I?” she answers, canting her hips up a fraction, pushing against him, demanding his return to ravishing her indecently. 

“Fuck, Kie --” he says, and he’s nipping at her neck in bursts, like he knows they should be talking about this, but he can’t help but touch her, overwhelmed with the need to taste her skin and leave her wanting. 

“Fine,” she says, sliding her forearm against his shoulder until her hand buries itself in his hair, pulling him back up and kissing him fiercely. “We’ll talk about it,” she sighs, before diving back in for another hard, demanding kiss. And then, “After.” 

“Yeah, okay,” JJ relents, pushing off the side of the house and dragging her toward the front door. It’s not a choice but a capitulation, a giving in to the unstoppable force that is Kiara tugging at his soul. Because he’d do anything for her, anything to her that she asks, no matter what he tells himself. He slides his teeth over her bottom lip and pulls away, panting. “After.” They slam through the screen door, stumbling over a broken ankle tether and the trash JJ had been meaning to take out, not even bothering with the farce of trying to make it to the bedroom. Her calves slam into the pullout and she topples backwards, taking her with him. 

Kissing JJ is a little like waiting out a hurricane and finally hitting the eye. Thrilling and terrifying, surrounded by power and strength, destruction and damage, but finding peace and respite, and a promise, a hint of the sun. Once he has her underneath him, he slows down, settling his weight between her legs, keeping himself propped on his elbows while he kisses her, solid and hard in his intent. It’s torture, him dancing above her, licking into her mouth only to back off and press kisses across her face, her jaw, and down her neck, sucking damning, claiming marks before scraping his teeth over her ear with the slightest pressure, teasing her, pulling obscene noises from her throat and driving her insane. She pushes her hips up again, and he responds with a deep, heavy roll of his, and she can feel his cock, hot and already half-hard, through the layers of fabric between them. 

She wants to feel it, in her hand, her mouth, pressing torturously, deliciously inside her, and he’s still fully clothed and taking way too much damn time. Surging up against him, she flips the two of them over, dangerously close to the edge, and straddles his hips, dragging her hands down his chest. Tossing her hair out of her face and pulling it all to one side, she risks glancing down at him, afraid of the vulnerable drop of her stomach every time she meets his eyes. JJ’s an eclipse in totality, pupils blown wide, shining underneath her, beaming in her shadow. His lips are slightly parted, red and wet, hair disheveled, hands coming down to slide up her thighs, and the image is so hot, so perfect, her chest aches as her cunt throbs for him, a dangerous, terrifying combination. She takes off her shirt. 

The sigh he lets out is entirely involuntary, reveling in the warmth and the weight of her, in awe of the smooth plains of exposed skin and the soft curves of her body. She leans down to kiss it out of his mouth, his hand coming up to cup the back of her head, the other sliding around the back of her arm as she holds face. It’s too gentle, too kind and slow, so she sinks her teeth into his lower lip until he groans and tightens her fist in his hair, pulling her with him as she straightens. His hands frame her hips as she grinds down on him, and he ducks his head to lay kisses across her collarbones, his hands sliding up her sides, electric on her bare skin. Letting her head fall back, she takes in the feeling of his lips on her chest, his thumbs tucking under the band of her bra. One stays to brush back and forth over the side of her breast while the other  reaches around and pinches apart the clasp in an expert move. Her stomach drops at the thought of JJ doing this with other girls. 

Taking her hands from his hair to cup his jaw, she redirects his attention back to her lips as her bra slides down her arms and her nipples pebble in the cool air. She holds on just a little too long, presses into him closed-mouth and soft, and he melts under her touch, his hands framing her ribs, her hair falling around them in a peach-scented curtain. When he initiates moments like this, she runs from them, too scared of what she might feel if she falls in like she’s falling now, heart pounding, her thumbs skating over his cheekbones. He leans up into her touch, one of his arms dropping to her waist and pulling her in closer to him, holding her tight. She pulls away from the kiss, keeping her forehead pressed to his. 

“Kie,” he sighs. Her breath hitches at the sound of her name from his mouth, like it almost always does, except he’s never close enough to notice. The silence that follows holds too much for the small space it occupies, and while she has no idea what he’s scared of saying, it almost falls from his lips anyway. Before he can make too much of an idiot out of himself, she pulls her arms back out of the straps of her bra, reaching between them to toss it to the side. As she does, she keeps his eyes on his, the smallest pockets of relief opening as his gaze drops to her tits, and then the heat in her stomach picking up again as he licks his lips. He ducks his head again, taking one of her nipples into his mouth like a sacrament, like she’s holy, closing his eyes and moaning, deep and satisfied at the taste of her skin. It goes straight to her cunt, and she feels wetness gathering there, even more than before. 

This, they’ve already done. There’s still fading bruises across her chest from the first night they spent together, when he ate her out til she screamed and then fucked her senseless, and while that seems to be the course of action he’s aiming for here, she has other ideas. She slides her hands back into JJ’s hair -- God, she could spend hours playing with JJ’s hair -- and tightens her grip, her blunt nails scraping gently over his scalp. In return, he teases his teeth over her nipple, and when she arches and gasps at the motion, tries to flip himself back on top. 

But Kiara has a goal, and she tightens her thighs around his hips, flattening her hands on his chest and pushing back, shaking her head playfully. He raises his eyebrows and flashes her half a smile, as if to say ‘oh, really?’, but settles his hands on her hips and lets her take charge. Her first order of business is getting him just as naked as she is; he holds up his arms obediently as she tugs his shirt off of him, and this is different now, than when it started. They’re taking their time with each other, grateful to drop the guise of desperation and explore every secret spot and inch of forbidden skin. It should scare the shit out of her, and it sort of does, but it’s also…  kinda fun. JJ makes this shy vulnerability so easy to sink into, knowing that any teasing has no real heat behind it, that he’ll be gentle and kind and listen to what she wants and what she likes. Yes, the bar is on the floor, but this boy is her best friend for a reason, this loving, crazy dumbass, that would set himself on fire to keep her warm. And that trust, those years of rapport and familiarity, make moments like these so much more comfortable, easier with a net underneath the thrill of flying high, trading touch for pleasure and knowing that he’ll be there to catch her on the comedown. 

She leans down and kisses him, soft at first and then deeper, licking into his mouth and rolling her hips down onto him, stretching her arms above his head and dragging her tits up his bare torso, smiling against his lips at the sound he makes. Ducking her head against his neck, she leaves her own trail of marks and then shifts her weight off of him to the side so she can reach down and pop the fly of his shorts open with one hand. He hisses in a sharp inhale when she reaches her hand between the layers of clothing and palms him over his underwear, giving him a second of satisfying contact before backing off, teasing him with her fingertips. He rolls onto his side, angling himself over her, kissing her hungrily. 

“Fucking hell, Kie,” he says, tucking his face into the side of her neck. “You got no fucking right to feel that good.” He’s warm and solid against her chest, hot and hard under her fingers, and something opens in her chest as he kisses her again, slow and sensual but not rushing, not pushing for things to go further or asking for anything she’s not willing to give. She pushes his underwear down as best she can, and he shudders as bare skin meets. The feeling of his cock in her hand sets her skin alight as he muffles moans in her neck, and she twists her hand over the head of it, spreading the wetness she finds there over the shaft. 

JJ surrenders to her, relaxing against her side as she works her hand over him, leaning into her, muttering half-formed praise into her skin like a prayer. She bites down a smile at the words, trying to hide how much she enjoys having him so vulnerable under her touch, how hot she gets listening to him react, feeling the soft skin over hard muscle. Kissing him firmly, she pushes him onto his back, leaning over him as she strokes his cock, one of his arms coming up to hold her, the other hand pushing into her hair. She hadn’t had time to do this the first night they were together, too focused on her own desperate need to get lost in him, so she takes her time working her way down his bare torso, sinking her teeth into his chest, leaving red and purple marks in her wake. 

He stutters on an inhale when he realizes what she’s doing, and when she curls her hands in the waistband of both shorts and boxers, concern fills his dear, blue eyes. “You don’t have to --” he breathes, caught between concern for her and the deep, furious want pulsing in his blood. “Just because I --” 

Kiara licks her lips, and JJ watches the movement, powerless not to. “I want to,” she says, realizing the truth of it as she says it, and the resulting look on JJ’s face puts butterflies in her stomach. (Which, like, she really doesn’t have time to think about right now.) So, in answer, she pulls his pants and underwear down and off, tossing them to the side and settling herself between his legs. It’s a little intimidating, JJ spread out naked before her, his cock eagerly awaiting her attention. She knew it was big, of course. After last time, the rumors had been confirmed true; JJ Maybank was excellently skilled with both hands and mouth, in addition to being ridiculously well-hung. It isn’t fair, really. But it’s one thing when he’s fucking her, and another when she’s face to face with it. 

He senses her hesitation and reaches down, brushing his fingers over her face in gentle reverence, and the touch shocks something inside her she’s not ready to confront. Instinctively, she pulls away, and, when concern colors his storm-sky eyes, she smiles, and ties up her hair. JJ’s breath catches in his chest as the sight, and it bolsters her confidence. She leans forward to kiss him one more time, twisting her hand over the head of his cock, solid and determined, and before he can recover, she ducks her head and takes him into her mouth. 

He grasps at the sheets as she swirls her tongue curiously around the tip, letting spit and precum drip down the shaft, spreading it towards the base with her hand. “Fuck, yes,” he sighs,  his eyes falling closed, his head dropping to the pillow. It’s satisfying, and triumphant, and hot, to see him so at her mercy, helpless and prone in the oldest kind of worship. After a while of torturous teasing, she takes as much of him as she can into her mouth, pressing her thumb into her palm to push down her gag reflex -- a trick Sarah told her about that she’s never needed til him. He keens, and the noise has her pushing her hips against the mattress, rocking into the seam of her shorts. Bobbing her head, experimenting with pace and angle, she flicks her tongue smartly against the underside of the tip of his cock, and the moan that follows that move is very interesting indeed. She tries it a few more times until he’s gasping out a warning, and she draws back until her lips just wrap around the head, swallowing neatly as he chokes out her name. 

She comes up smiling, and he half sits up, reaching for her, sated and grasping. He kisses her soundly, pulling her back down next to him, one hand in her hair, one arm around her waist, his favorite way to hold her, it seems. Settling her on her back, his tongue meets hers and he groans at the taste of himself. “You,” he says, pulling back to press kisses down her neck. She can’t keep in the happy, smug giggle that works its way out of her chest. “Are so fucking hot.” 

“Not too bad yourself,” she laughs as he tucks his face between her tits, the last word followed by a sharp gasp as he wraps his lips around a nipple, like he can’t help but have his mouth on her, can’t help but taste her skin and send her heart racing. 

“I knew you were looking,” he says, propping his chin on her sternum and looking up at her with a shit-eating grin, mischief and post-orgasm glow sparkling in his stupid, stupid blue eyes. He’s been paying attention to her, thinking about this. The thought flips something over in her chest, and she shoves his head playfully. 

“Shut up,” she says, trying to keep her voice light. She picks her hips up, trying to keep him focused on the event at hand. Yeah, JJ’s easily distracted, but she’s half-naked in front of him, She kinda hoped that would avoid unnecessary conversation. “And get back to work.” 

“Yes ma’am,” he says, half-kidding -- but his eyes darken just a shade too far to be all tease. (Which, she thinks to herself, is certainly something to be investigated.) He devotes his full attention back to her chest, licking and sucking and biting at her nipples, loving the soft, small noises she makes under his touch. Her tits aren’t usually so sensitive, but JJ knows what the fuck he’s doing, and it’s unfair how much he’s able to work her up with her pants still on. Blowing him was already incredibly hot, and, when his hand finally slides into her underwear, he curses at the wetness he finds between her legs. “Holy hell, Kie,” he sighs. 

“Maybe a little more hell,” she says, gripping his arm as his finger drags slowly up her slit, “and a little less holy?” She bites her lip as he teases her, dipping in and out of her folds, tracing his fingers over the lips of her cunt, because he wants her to keep making those godforsaken sounds. Because he can. 

“Anyone ever tell you you’ve got a smart mouth?” he asks, raising his head to suck a mark directly under her ear, smiling against her skin at the resulting gasp. 

“Maybe, ah --” she cries, when his careful fingers find her clit and his calloused fingertips explore the sensitive area, “once or twice.” 

This is… way more talking than last time. Last time was desperate and grief-stricken and needy, a request for heedless escape in the wake of the unthinkable. Now -- it’s still a distraction, but there were other courses of action available when she showed up at the Chateau as the sun started to sit low in the afternoon sky. She didn’t have to jump him. He didn’t have to let her. JJ kisses her, deep and filthy, putting himself back in charge, angling his body over hers as she presses back into the thin mattress, arcing into his touch, one hand braced on his (very nice) bicep, the other tangled in his messy, golden hair. 

He focuses on her clit, spreading the wetness up from her entrance and toying with different pressure and motions, paying attention to what she likes, and she directs him with the sounds she makes, every small moan a ‘yes, please, more of that.’ He’s the most responsive partner she’s ever had, focused on her and her only, his main purpose to make her feel good, not work her up just to fuck or speed past foreplay to move to something more. It makes it better, and when he finally slides a finger into her, he gasps, too, because it’s a privilege for him to feel her, hot and wet and waiting. 

“Oh, god,” she whines, as he pumps his finger slowly in and out of her, his thumb on her clit. 

“God’s a little formal,” he says, lifting his head to look at her, his expression teasing even as kindness and something else big and unwanted settles in his eyes. “You can stick with JJ.” She tries to smack his arm for that, but ends up sinking her nails into his skin as he slides another finger inside of her a little too easily. He goes slowly, curling his fingers up into her g-spot with every stroke, kissing her lazily and alternating to her neck when she can’t help but gasp at his touch. 

It’s torture, the way he takes his time, and after a while she’s begging. “Fuck me, JJ,” she pleads. “God, fuck me, please,” and his spent cock twitches against her leg because fuck if that isn’t something he’s been waiting to hear. His hand speeds up as he decides his next move. When he takes his hands out of her pants she lets out a sound she’d rather he didn’t remember, but based on the way that he smiles against her skin, he won’t be doing that any time soon. He doesn’t even have time to pause at her waistband as he kisses down her body, because she’s very enthusiastically supporting what’s about to happen next, shoving both shorts and underwear down. 

He chuckles and tugs them off, tossing them somewhere that’s future Kie’s problem, and heat rises in him again as she spreads her legs for him. Settling on his stomach, he hooks his arms under her thighs, miles of bare skin pressing together with a quiet whisper of faith. She runs her fingers through his hair as he kisses up her legs, taking his time, reveling in the sight and the smell of her. Foolish smiles meet in shy glances and chuckles that are half breath and half disbelief. JJ radiates warmth from his bare skin, broad and powerful below her, and she hooks a leg over his shoulder, sliding her foot up his back and biting her lip as he raises his eyebrows in response, drawing closer to her hot, aching center. 

He starts lightly, dragging the tip of his tongue up her slit, just to taste the wetness there, to make her squirm and curse and ask for more. It’s hard to resist the way she begs for him, and he sets in with a purpose, flicking his tongue over her clit and fitting two fingers inside of her, mouth and hands working with a skilled harmony. She clutches at his hair, not afraid to drag her fingernails over his scalp, vocal and unapologetic in how much she’s enjoying this, how much she wants him. When he finds a combination of hooking his fingers against her g-spot and brushing the tip of his tongue over her clit, her legs clamp around his head as she begins to climb, a deep pull starting low in her stomach. 

“Don’t stop,” she pleads, “fucking hell, JJ -- God, just like that, don’t fucking stop. Please don’t fucking stop.” He doesn’t, and the sound that comes out of her as she crashes over the edge is loud and guttural and possibly the hottest thing that’s ever fucking happened to him. She cums against his mouth furiously, her stomach flexing and her legs shaking, and he’s a little proud of himself, honestly, as he brings her down gently, sliding his fingers out of her, soothing her with long strokes of his tongue. When her breathing finally slows, he presses kisses over her thighs and then her stomach as he rises back up to meet her. 

She kisses him, awestruck and grateful, not minding her own taste as she pulls him down against her, wanting as much bare skin to be touching as possible. She tucks his hair behind his ears and strokes her thumb over his jaw before he falls on his side next to her, staring, tracing his hand up her side in veneration and wonder. It’s hard, the weight of his gaze, so she closes her eyes, drops her forehead against his. “Literally how,” she sighs, and laughs, one arm tucked under his neck and hooked around his shoulders, the other draped over his trim waist. 

“It’s not hard,” he promises (falsely), cheshire grin in full force. “Just paying attention.” He kisses her before she has a chance to respond, mostly gentle but with a sense he’s holding back a little, inviting her to take the next step forward. She deliberates for a moment as she sucks on his lower lip, scraping her teeth gently, cataloguing every noise he makes and what move precedes it, learning him. She could go home, now. She’s been sufficiently distracted. She feels a little better, like maybe she can talk to her parents without screaming her head off or bursting into tears. But the pull of the boy next to her is strong and tempting, miles of tan skin with rippling muscle shifting underneath. 

The secret is, she always wants to touch JJ. Something about him is magnetic, like a gravitational field she can’t resist. Whenever they’re in the van or on the Pogue or even just chilling on the couch, she finds herself shifting closer. She’s always stepping just behind his shoulder, would prop her chin there -- if she didn’t know that he would freeze up and question the physical contact. Sometimes, she feels jealousy ache in her stomach at his casual physicality with Pope and John B, always slinging his arm around their shoulders or play-fighting or latching onto them, just to be annoying. He’s still physical with her -- she doesn’t think he knows how not to be -- but it’s different, restrained, and sometimes she sees him half-move, reaching out instinctually, only to second guess himself and let his hands fall. 

She shifts into him, pressing herself as close as she can, appreciating the gasp he lets out at the press of her bare chest against his, her leg sliding against his dick, already half-hard again. They kiss for a while, and it would be lazy and slow, if they could let themselves relax; but JJ’s still biting something down, and Kie starts to get frustrated trying to draw it out. Finally, tired of waiting, she licks into his mouth with a sudden push, and he’s not surprised, but annoyingly expectant, glad his baiting has finally worked. There’s a moment of tension and pushing as they silently argue who’s going to be on top, and Kie wins when she reaches down and wraps her hand around his cock. 

He falls back, and she climbs on top of him, biting down a wide grin of her own. She sits back on her heels, sticking out her chest a little, stroking him slowly, reveling in the way he fights to control his expression. He starts at her tits, palming them with work-roughened hands, before sliding his palms down her body, lingering on the curve of her waist, brushing over her ass, running down her thighs and back up. She lets her head fall back, drinking in his touch, closing her eyes so she doesn’t have to meet his. She can feel him staring, though, unrelenting and hungry, merciless in the way he worships her. She can’t look at him, can’t take the kind of want and lust seething in his eyes, so settles herself over his cock, sliding her cunt up and down his shaft, her hands braced on his chest, his hands gripping her hips, fingertips sinking into her skin. 

Part of her wants him to leave bruises, even though she knows he’s not holding her roughly enough for that. He’s being so kind, so soft and respectful, everything she never thought he would be in a situation like this. She loves the tease, the slow build, but she wants him now, viscerally so, rocking her hips over him, hearing him shudder and moan, feeling him clutch at her. She wants him to beg for her, keen her name like she did his. Leaning down to kiss him, she pushes herself all the way up his cock, the tip just brushing her entrance, and he moans, long and filthy. “God,” he gasps, barely coherent. “Fuck, Kiara, please.” 

She smiles at that, sitting up, standing on her knees and taking him in her hand. They’d talked about being clean, about her IUD, the first night, and while she’s grateful she doesn’t have to have the same conversation again, it sets an unnerving precedent. The first time was supposed to be the last time. And now there’s today, and she’s not certain she wants to give him up, yet. She doesn’t know what that means, doesn’t know what he’s feeling or what anything between them would look like in a world so tempest-tossed and half-destroyed. But this -- this part will always be easy.

Taking him inside her feels like a prayer. She goes slowly, sinking down, giving herself time to adjust to his size, his hands flexing on her hips. He fills her perfectly, and she’s never believed the bullshit about soulmates or needing someone else to be complete, but with JJ’s cock inside her, his hips, narrow and strong between her legs, she feels a hell of a lot closer to whole. She starts to move, slow and deep, squeezing him on the way up, bottoming out on the way down. He curses and clenches his teeth, wound so tight she can see it, and she wants him to snap, to flip them in a single move and fuck her into the mattress. 

He watches her, lets her set the rhythm, thrusting up as she pushes down, but the movement is still tight and controlled. She knows this boy inside and out, knows that he’s holding back for her, afraid of hurting her, of losing her trust or making her feel objectified or powerless. She knows he wants to be careful, to not fuck this up -- because this is a this, now, neither of them have any say in that anymore -- but she also wants his raw power, his strength and abandon, and maybe that’s what drives the next words to fall from her mouth. “Come on, JJ,” she groans impatiently, raking her fingernails down his chest. “Aren’t you gonna take what’s yours?” He’s confused for exactly half a second before she shifts her weight pointedly to the empty space to their left, and before she even registers that he’s moving, she’s on her back, her hands pinned above her head, JJ’s hips slamming obscenely into her own. It’s intense and desperate and fast, and she tugs one of her hands free, bringing it down to her clit to rub hard circles there in pace with his wild hips, knowing he won’t last long like this and chasing that cherished high, just behind him. 

He comes before she does on a sharp, animalistic cry, tensing above her and filling her with warmth. She doesn’t have time to be disappointed, because he swears, pulls out, and replaces his cock immediately with his fingers. His cum makes it easy to fit three fingers inside her at once, dextrous and skilled, focused on making her orgasm just as good as his. It doesn’t take long until she’s grabbing at his shoulder, panting and moaning and almost crying, he feels so good, and when he bats aside the hand on her clit in favor of ducking between her legs and replacing it with his mouth, she screams, riding his face and his hand as wave upon wave crashes over her, feet pushing her hips off the pullout, legs quivering and stomach tense. He stays with her, merciless, flicking his tongue across her clit over and over again, until she has to shove his head away with trembling hands, collapsing into the bed in holy, sated exhaustion. 

It takes her a second to open her eyes, and when she does, he’s back up next to her, pushing the three fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. “You’re disgusting,” she says, but she’s still panting, out of breath while her chest heaves, and it carries little heat. 

He brushes gentle fingers over her temple, tucking away a stray curl. “But we taste so good together,” he teases, his breath fanning across her face as he leans down to kiss her. Their mouths move in lazy harmony, finally at ease, and, of course, he’s right. “C’mon,” he says, tucking his face against her neck, his floppy blond hair falling into her eyes. “Shower?” 

“Mmmm,” she hums, thinking she might be anchored to the bed at the base of her spine. “Maybe in a sec.” Honestly, she doesn’t think she’ll be able to stand, but she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing that. He chuckles, knowing exactly what he’s done, and shoves himself up as she curses his never-ending, boundless energy. He brings her water and some paper towels to clean herself up, and, when he sees her sitting up, searching for her underwear, digs in the duffel on the armchair and tosses her a pair of boxers. 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “What?” he protests, tugging underwear and a pair of basketball shorts up over his ass. (Which she’s a little disappointed to see disappear beneath layers of fabric once more). “They’re clean.” She puts them on without standing up before rolling over to her stomach and stretching her arms out, tucking them underneath her head. Sweat cools on heated skin as golden hour stretches across the Chateau’s living room, and she wants to live in this moment forever. 

JJ lowers himself onto her back, scattering kisses across her shoulders, and she giggles and turns underneath him until they’re pressed chest-to-chest, his weight braced on his elbows on either side of her head. She looks at him, now, her hair a mess and eyes shining, skin still heated from his touch. He leans down to kiss her, and she lets him, even though this is dangerous territory, blurring hazy lines between friends and friends-with-benefits and lovers and ‘together’ and all the other things they could call themselves. The kiss is slow and sweet, and when he pulls back it’s to kiss her cheeks, her closed eyes, her nose. It’s silly and soft and so incorrect to the image of JJ she’s always had in her mind, that she laughs under his attention. 

“What?” he asks, laughing with her, dive-bombing her with kisses to her face and neck, her arms coming up around his neck, her fingers in his hair. 

“You’re so dumb,” she says, still laughing as she shoves him off. He doesn’t go far, just crashes down next to her, their legs still tangled, one arm tucked back under his head, the other resting on the curve of her waist. Her hands trace his arms, shoulders, chest, mapping them like territory she intends to settle. 

“Yeah, but --” he says, and then stops, because the rest of that sentence carries a different weight now. The ‘you still love me’ hangs in the air anyway, and it means something else than it did the last time he tossed it out -- after leaving her stranded on the marsh with Sarah Cameron, a day that feels like years ago. 

She curls her hands into fists on his chest before spreading them out again, breaking eye contact and biting her bottom lip. “Yeah,” she sighs. Because she does, even if she can’t define how anymore. 

“So you gonna tell me why you came here?” he asks, when the moment stretches on into too many seconds and the weight of it threatens to crush them both. 

Kie sighs, heavy and tired, as the memory of earlier that day comes crashing back down, chasing out the golden afternoon and pulling her back to all of the guilt and anger and frustration she’d asked JJ to distract her from. “Do I have to?” she asks, still avoiding his eyes, too tired to dodge it any more carefully than that. 

“C’mon, Kie,” he urges, “you said you’d talk about it.” She hates him for a second, because isn’t this JJ’s whole thing? ‘Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies,’ right? ‘Deny, deny, deny’? There are a million things he’s said, just over this summer, that she could pull out on him right now. But also, she’s not him, and she likes to talk things out, has to, or else whatever it is that’s bothering her consumes every waking thought. Maybe he knows that. Maybe he’s just being a really good friend at a really bad time.

So she tells him, because she’s avoiding Pope and John B’s fucking dead or lost at sea or whatever the fuck he is, and so is Sarah. And even though Kiara would never have considered going to her before -- everything -- maybe she would now, if she had the chance. “My parents want to send me to boarding school,” she says, dropping it whole on his chest and hoping he can breathe under it. 

“Oh,” he sighs, like this admission has shoved the word out of him. “Holy shit.” 

“Yeah.” He doesn’t say anything else, so she keeps going. “So I freaked out, and I left.” She keeps flexing her hands on his chest, keeping her eyes there even as they threaten to fill with tears. “And my mom --” she chokes, and he pulls her close, putting his lips on her forehead. “My mom said that if I didn’t --” she swallows, trying to keep it together, “that if I didn’t come home on time, not to --” she takes a controlled breath, willing the tears away. “Not to bother coming home at all.” It sounds silly, saying it to him, when she knows, now, what he’s been through. What his dad does to him and why he’s here, instead of his own house. It sounds petty and inconsequential and she’s never felt more like an ignorant kook in her life, so she sniffs, and takes her hands off him. 

JJ chews on the information she’s given him, tracing his fingers down her arm, over the curve of her elbow and back up to her shoulder. “You’re still gonna go home, right?” He asks, uncertainty and maybe longing in his voice. She realizes, then, that of course she is. Her parents love her, even if they don’t know how to show it, don't understand what the Cut and its inhabitants (and one in particular) mean to her. Of course, she’s going to go home. Because JJ doesn’t get to. Because she still can. 

If she’d had this conversation with anyone else, there would be stomping and cursing and yelling, indignant demands as to why her parents can’t understand her, why they can’t see how they suffocate her, and hold her down. But this is JJ, who doesn’t get to have problems like this, who doesn’t get to have parents that love him or watch him too closely. At least if Luke Maybank threatened to send JJ to boarding school, it would mean that he cared about JJ’s future. It would mean that he’d looked at his son, spoken to him, seen the anger and hurt and desperation to be seen. It would mean, at least, that he was paying attention. 

“Yeah,” she says. She’s still scared, of being powerless to control what they want her to do with her life, of being seventeen and helpless. But she’s not going to say that out loud, not when JJ knows what that feels like on a level she can’t even comprehend. He feels like he should say more, and part of her wants him to, but JJ’s always been shit at comforting. This, his presence, is enough. His light touches, his lips pressed to her hairline -- it’s all he has to do. When she starts to nod off, she asks him to hand her her phone, and stumbles out to the porch to dig in her bag for it. She curls on her side, sends a text to her mom about being sorry and that she’ll be home in a few hours, and then sets an alarm for thirty minutes before curfew. 

She’ll go home, but she’s going to spend as much time with him as she can. She still doesn’t think he should be alone, and she doesn’t want to be either. He fits himself in behind her, his chest pressed to her back, one arm under her neck, the other tight around her waist. They don’t talk. She doesn’t want to and he doesn’t know what he’d say. She’s exhausted and warm and JJ’s arms around her feel a little bit like armor, like when he’s holding her, the rest of the world can’t get in. Just before she falls asleep, he squeezes her tight, tucking his face into her neck. 

“You aren’t going to boarding school,” he whispers. “I promise.” She feels his lips press against her skin. She wants to turn in his arms, kiss him slow and sweet and kind, the way he deserves to be loved. But sleep tugs at her, unrelenting. Just before she slips under the waves, she hears him whisper one more thing.

“I won’t let them take you away from me.” 

[psychokai1972]

The Boss- Part 20

The Boss- Masterlist

Part 19

CEO!Sebastian Stan x CEO!Reader

Word Count: 1292

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage 

Summary: Y/N and Sebastian are co-CEOs of a successful company. Their relationship is not the best. It’s more a competition than anything. But eventually they’ll have to learn to cope with each other.

A/N: I’m back bitches!!!!(for now)

when the letter is in bold and italic is because there is a flashback/memory.

I didn’t proof read it, sorry for any mistakes!

BTW, I’m going to watch ENDGAME tonight

Comment, like it, reblog!Feedback is always appreciated!

She hadn't been awake for long, something around ten minutes; she wanted to sleep, her body felt so tired, but the rushing thought in her brain wouldn't let her. Sebastian was not there, his jacket and phone, however, were there; awaiting, like her, for him. Y/N looked around, the whiteness of the room and the constant beeping indicating that her heart was still functioning, were driving her mad. She wondered how in Heaven she had, had a half decent sleep with that; or even Sebastian.

“ Oh sweetie!” She heard a concerned female voice. Her head darted to the source, but before she could have a good look at the woman, the air got knocked out of her lungs with a tight hug.

“Mum, I told you to be careful!” Sebastian warned annoyingly coming behind his mother. “ She’s not made of steel, at least not in this moment.” He winked an eye at Y/N, making her smile a little.

Y/N looked at Sebastian’s mother. “It’s nice to see you, Georgeta; nothing to worry though.” The woman tried to ease her, seeing how the worrying only grew on her future mother in law.

Sebastian’s mother connected her eyes with Y/N. “ You don’t have to lie to me young lady; as soon as I heard I needed to make sure that you were fine.”

“I’m fine too mum, no need to worry about me.” Sebastian said rather bitchy, but of course, kidding; and sat on the sofa in the room.

“ Oh shut up Seb, I’m talking to Y/N here.” Georgeta looked at his son with lifted eyebrows so he would keep his mouth shut; and Y/N could not help but let out a chuckle. “ How are you dear? Do you need anything?”

Y/N’s heart melted in the moment, Georgeta was looking at her with those motherly eyes, and her voice followed. What a woman she was, the one that she wished she had as a mother in many occasions.

“I’m alright Georgeta, just need to get out of here, because it’s driving me mad.” Y/N said, adjusting her pillow.

“ I told Sebastian that you both should come and stay at our house until the baby comes, so we make sure that you make a full recovery.”

One would think that having people around her would do her some good, help her get through the day and eventually forget about the events. But not for Y/N, she needed her space, because in those moments, people only made her feel anxious.

But one thing she needed, and that was, Sebastian beside her.

Sebastian stepped in, noticing the hesitation and nervousness in Y/N’s body. “Mum, you have to meet dad, remember, I’ll come with you out.” He offered, and saw relief coming to the mother of her child.

And they left the room, but not before telling Y/N to call her if she needed anything.

  ____________________________________________

The blue eyed man pushed the wheelchair carefully, listening closely to what the doctor was saying.

“The best for both her and the baby, with all that she has gone through this past months is bed rest ‘till the due date. She has been under a huge amount of pressure and stress, and that’s really bad for the pregnancy.” Ciara paused, looking down at Y/N, who seemed distant from everything that was happening around her at the moment, and she couldn’t blame her.

“What?” Sebastian whispered stopping in his tracks and staring at Ciara.

She took a deep breath before continuing. “ Sebastian, I-I honestly, it’s a miracle that she’s made it so far with the pregnancy, not just miscarriage, but also premature labor. I’ve had women, that have lost their babies for much less stress than her.”

The romanian sighed and rubbed his temples. “Well, she’s a strong woman, she’ll make it through, they both will.” He concluded with security in his tone.

“I don’t doubt that Sebastian; but the best is to keep an eye close on her. I wouldn't get surprised if three months become one.” He nodded thoughtfully, wondering how could he control everything that happens around her so she could make it through just fine; with everything going on, it was going to be hard.

“Thank you, Ciara. I’ll do my best.” Sebastian promised, staring down at the mother of his child briefly. She looked tired.

“I hope so Mr. Stan.” That way of calling him, it was a warning. “Now, I don’t know if you know this, but the press has been outside this hospital since the word of the events got out; security has tired to make sure you get out of here as quietly and safely as possible; but chance is, that some of them managed to get past security.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “What a great beginning to reduce her stress levels.” He said sarcastically as the doors to the hospital opened.

  ____________________________________________

He stared down at the ring in the velvet box, ten months together, but the best of his life so far. In such a sort time, he knew she was the one for him, no other woman had made him feel as she had, nor would any other. Sebastian smiled nervously, adjusting the tie around his neck, the temperature suddenly increased in the room; he knew it was just him, anxious for her to arrive and to ask the big question.

For one month had he gathered the courage to ask her, for two months he had had the ring in his possession. It had been a hard task to find the perfect ring for her, none of them convinced him; but when he saw this one, the one with the tear shape, he knew it was the right one.

Finally, the door opened, she didn’t notice him at first; clueless that he was going to come to her office in the middle of the day. Y/N stopped in her tracks, her eyes flaying from the papers in her hand to Sebastian.

“ Sebastian...w-what are you doing here?” She asked confused. It was not rare for him to come see her unexpectedly, but she would usually smile and kiss him happy to see him. This time, it did not happen, she didn’t even move closer to her.

The romanian frowned his eyebrows. “Well Y/N, I came here to see you.” He moved closer.

“No...I wasn’t supposed to meet with you until this afternoon; I can’t do this right now.” It seemed she was more rambling to herself than speaking to him. “Hasn’t your father talked to you?” She asked, avoiding his eyes and moving to her desk, leaving the papers there.

Sebastian shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s going on, Y/N? Why are you acting so weird?”

Y/N took a deep breath, finally connecting her eyes with his, god, they were beautiful. “ Um…,he has chosen someone to replace him as CEO of the company, a-and its us. You and me are going to rule this together.” She said, focused on the words.

Sebastian smiled, hugging her. “Well, that’s amazing Y/N!” He cheered.

She moved away from him, shaking his head. “No, you don’t understand Sebastian. We, this can’t be a thing anymore.”

“What do you mean?” A wry smile on his features, processing her words.

“I mean we cant be together, because our personal life will affect the company, and I’m not gonna jeopardize the company for a relationship.” She said louder, making her words clear.

It was something he had not expected. “But, Y/N, let’s talk it o-” He begged, eyes red with tears threatening to fall.

“I’m sorry Sebastian, but there’s nothing to talk about.”

MASTERLIST

The Boss taglist (open):

The crossed tags won’t work

@jacquelineisawkward @starkxpotts @crazybutconfidentaf @imagine-inc@sebbystanlover-vk @moonlightbae14 @projectxhappiness @sayernita @flopmalum @a-kiddo-with-a-doggo @lucille-lovely@missrandomista@thewhinersoldier @justmesadgirl @marie-is-in-the-dark@learisa @slender–spirit @fandom-addict-aesthetics @sellulii @lowkeysebby@p3nny4urth0ught5@nanna022 @ssweet-empowerment @faakelanadelrey@cheekygeek05@deanlenaz @inlovewith3 @queen-of-elves@randomfangirl1701@ultimategalaxyprogram @rahma29417 @hiddlestonstansworld @breadofjustice @i-just-wanna-live-gc@saltysebastianstan @picapicapicassobaby

@myfuturisticallysteadycollector

Permanent taglist (open):

@kapolisradomthoughts @bearsbeetsbarnes @casually-introverted@caswinchester2000 @tessvillegas @fakelchv@cuddlysteven@harryisbae101 @coffeebooksandfandom @princess-evans-addict @jbug491

Sebastian Stan-Bucky Barnes taglist (open):

@mizz-kraziii @ria132love  @ghostofcallum  @void-imaginations@thisismysecrethappyplace

[hasty-touch]

Tips for leveling DoH & DoL

I am fondly known by my friends as "that guy who's obsessed with crafting and also Ishgard", so I'm ecstatic about getting to enjoy both those things in Shadowbringers. And I've been hearing a lot of my friends excited about the latter wanting to catch up with the former so they're ready to participate! I love crafting so much I've capped classes on 4 alts... so having leveled multiple times, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts and tips -- not a detailed how-to guide (though maybe I'll try to write one of those someday), but broader opinions about what strategies to take. This is geared more to DoH than DoL (which is more self-explanatory IMO) but I'll include thoughts on DoL too.

I learned how to craft back in the 2.5 era from GameFAQs and from ffxivguild -- though I can't easily recommend the latter anymore because their ads and autoplay videos have gotten really aggressive. If I find a good, current guide I'll add a link here.

Other resources well-loved by me or friends are Crafting as a Service for shopping lists and leveling planning, Ariyala for gearing, FFXIV Teamcraft for their endgame-invaluable simulator, and Garlandtools Bell for unspoiled nodes.

So let's see. What would my general tips be for people who are picking up DoH and DoL now in anticipation of Shadowbringers?

Your leveling options

There are lots of different ways for you to level your DoH and L, so if you hate one there's sure to be another option. Some of them, and my thoughts on the pros and cons of the different methods:

Class Quests. I strongly recommend doing your class quests as you unlock them! They give nice lumps of experience, shards/crystals for DoH, and gear (albeit NQ gear, so inferior to what you could make yourself). You should especially do 60-70, Stormblood era quests as you unlock them, as they give you powerful new traits and abilities. Of course, you have to fill the gaps between class quests with something:

Grinding. Just makin' stuff from your Crafting Log or gathering from your Gathering Log, or hanging out at a level-appropriate fishing hole and fishing. Potentially boring, but can actually add up to nice chunks of EXP, especially under Rested and with the aid of Engineering Manuals/Survival Manuals. (More on them later.)

Leveling DoH through grinding is probably your most expensive option, not only in terms of gil spent on the MB but retainer space used to store those materials.

Synthesize (manually crafting) gives more experience than Quick Synthesis -- if I understand correctly, the more steps you use in a craft the more experience you get, up to a point renofmanyalts says you get more exp the more you fill your Quality bar, which makes a lot more sense!

You can recover some of your gil by selling the items you make, so a little time researching what you can make at your level that sells well may be profitable in several ways.

Leveling DoL through grinding, on the other hand, is potentially a way to make money, if there's a high-demand item in the right level range.

You'll get more experience for HQ items and by maintaining a chain (i.e., not missing an item).

Since you can start and stop grinding whenever you want, you can use it both if you have lots or limited time to play. But I wouldn't recommend it as your primary method!

Grand Company Supply and Provisioning. One item requested each day for each class. You get a very nice chunk of experience, doubled if HQ, with a further bonus to starred items.

I like the GC as a leveling method. They usually take the length of one food buff (<= 30 minutes for all eight DoH classes, plus an additional <= 30 minutes for all three DoL classes), which is a manageable amount of chores per day. You get GC seals, which can be spent on manuals, Cordials, squadron missions, etc., to further help you.

You are limited to one item per class per day, so once you've handed in your day's items, you have to find something else to do. It's great if you play every day, but if you have a lot of playtime on just a few days of the week you may not be able to take the same advantage.

You do have to buy and store the materials, and since the assignment each day is random, it may take up a lot of retainer space.

Levequests/guildleves. While technically limited by your leve allowances (which can be checked at the bottom of your journal), you get 3 allowances every 12 hours and you can store up to 100, and you've gotta really grind leves to spend 100 leve allowances. They give nice chunks of experience, doubled for HQ.

"Levekits" are bundles of items sold by higher-level crafters and fishers which, when handed in to levemetes, get you enough experience to bump you up to the target level (50, 60, etc.) They're an option -- and if you really must be level 70 today, they're your only option -- but I don't really recommend them. If you learn to craft yourself while you level, you'll understand how the abilities work together and won't be overwhelmed by buttons at cap. Even if you intend only to craft at cap using other people's macros, a little bit of knowledge will help you troubleshoot and improve them.

If you take advantage of DoH leves, I would recommend you make the items yourself instead, gaining experience both for the crafting and for the turn-in. You will have to buy/gather the materials, but since you can decide what leves you're going to target in advance and just get materials for those, storage is not as problematic.

MIN and BTN leves send you to a location to gather key items that are handed in at the end of the leve, sometimes with special targets (changing what actions you'd spend your GP on). For the time invested you get more exp than just grinding, but you don't have items to sell at the end of it.

Large-Scale Temple Knight leves (marked with "(L)" in the levequest name) are generally considered not worth your time because they take 10x the allowances and only give 3x the exp.

You can do as many leves as you want per day as long as you have the allowances, so you can take advantage if you've got a lot or a little time.

Beast Tribes. You can get DoH exp from the Ixal (intended for level 1-50) and the Moogles (50-60), and either DoH or DoL from the Namazu (60-70). You're limited by Beast Tribe Daily Quest Allowances (12 per day for any beast tribes of your choice) and the number of quests that tribe offers (Ixal start with Deliverance, which is sort of like a bonus daily GC supply mission + 3 dailies, and progressively more are offered as you level up; Moogles and Namazu normally gives you 3 a day, but you get a bonus 3 on days your Reputation ranks up.) They give nice, moderate lumps of exp.

One of the great advantages of beast tribes is that you are given the materials for the item(s) required by the quest, so you only have to pay for crystals -- and you're often rewarded crystals for completion, making them free aside from teleport and repair costs!

Ranking up unlocks more items at the tribe's vendor. The Ixal have a wonderful selection of lumber, and you can buy the Adept and Trailblazer (level 58) sets from the Moogles with Carved Kupo Nuts, etc.

Unlocking Ixal only requires the level 41 MSQ "In Pursuit of the Past". But you gotta unlock the Moogles and the Namazu not only through MSQ (respectively, level 56 "He Who Would Not Be Denied" and level 66 "In Crimson They Walked") but through sidequest chains. The Moogle unlock chain is long and starts with "A Pebble for Your Thoughts" in Moghome (and then after "Trouble at Zenith" you gotta pick up "Into the Mists" from the Pillars). The Namazu require two short chains from Yanxia, starting with "Courage the Cowardly Lupin" and "Perchance to Hanami".

The Ixal daily "Deliverance" will take items you bought off the MB, but otherwise you must do all beast tribes tasks yourself.

The tasks given to you in the Moogle and Namazu DoH quests are really easy -- as long as you grasp the barest basics of crafting, you can succeed at them (and you can retry as many times as you like, only losing crystals). The Ixal dailies take away your hand slot gear to begin with and slowly add challenge with increasing restrictions such as cross-class ability lockouts. They're not hard, per se, but you have to puzzle over it a bit more than usual.

You can cheat and do Moogle dailies on a higher level class than you hand it in on. You can’t with Namazu -- you have to complete the quest with the same class you picked it up with.

Though quick, they do take a little bit of time, most of which traveling between quest points. Denisot's round today of 3 Moogle dailies took 5 minutes, but if you get one that involves repreated trips it can take longer. Still, they're good if you can play every day even if only briefly.

You might get asked to type "free kupo nuts" in /say.

Collectables (Rowena's House of Splendors). After (IIRC) level 50, after MSQ "The Better Half", you can unlock collectables via the quest "Inscrutable Tastes" in Revenant's Toll. You can then hand in collectables to the House of Splendors (via kiosks at the main cities, Revenant's Toll, Idyllshire, and Rhalgr's Reach) to receive experience and scrips. Like GC supply and provisioning, each day the requested items change. Also like the GC, there's a chance the requested items will have a star next to them, giving bonus scrip and exp. It's always the highest-level turn-in available to you that has a chance of a star.

Collectable crafting works exactly the same as regular crafting. You just toggle on Collector's Glove (an action you can get from your actions window and/or put on your hotbar) and craft as if you were trying for HQ; your HQ chance is converted into collectable rating.

Collectable fishing is AFAIK essentially the same as fishing for HQ. Again, you just toggle on Collector's Glove and try to land a big/HQ fish.

Collectable MIN and BTN, on the other hand, is its whole own little mini-game added on to the normal gathering minigame. You'll want to look up a guide on how to do collectable gathering -- I don't have one handy at the moment. It's not hard, necessarily, but it's a new system to learn!

Rowena's House of Splendors is truly unlimited, and you can hand in as many collectables as you want each day. The experience isn't great, though, even for starred items, so I would recommend against going crazy and doing these all day long. LOVE YOURSELF!

The amounts of scrip rewarded isn't great to begin with, so grinding for rewards will be pretty miserable until you get up into the mid-high 50s. However, if you must have the full Adept's set today, it's an option!

Red Crafters' Scrip (the current common scrip) can be traded for a variety of items, such as manuals, level 60 gear (via Rowena's Token (Blue Crafters' Scrip)), Soul of the Crafter (for changing specializations after your free choice of three from Alderan), IV-V materia, old mats, etc. Red Gatherers' Scrip can also be traded for gear and materia, more valuable old mats (like Pterodactyl), and good fishing bait like Brute Leech and Silkworm.

Collectables are not tradeable, so you must do them yourself. You can't buy the items or get a friend to make them for you.

For DoH, you do have to buy and store the materials, as with Grand Company Supply, unless you exclusively do:

Custom Deliveries. The first client is Zhloe Aliapoh, unlocked at level 60 with quest "Arms Wide Open" in Idyllshire. These tasks take collectables, like Rowena's House of Splendors, but are limited to 6 hand-ins per week per client and 12 hand-ins per week across all clients. If you do them at level cap, you get valuable yellow scrips, but you can also use your allowances for leveling classes below cap.

The materials for DoH Custom Deliveries are sold by vendors in town (Scrap Salvager in Idyllshire, Material Supplier in Rhalgr's Reach, and Blue Merchant in Tamamizu) They're cheap, and you're awarded gil at hand-in, so DoH Custom Deliveries are almost-free-to-profitable to do. DoL, as usual, cost only teleport and repair costs.

The time required is generally very little -- FSH probably takes the longest because of RNG. And you can do them whenever you have time during the week.

If you're using them for leveling, the experience is only modest. But it is a very easy, low-effort way to get red scrips and experience (if you do them below cap) and yellow scrips (if you do them at cap).

AFAIK, Zhloe only requires you unlock Idyllshire level and be 60 in one DoH or DoL class. M'naago requires the MSQ cleared through "Return of the Bull" (SB 4.1). Kurenai requires you to have unlocked M'naago and finished the quest chain that starts with "The Palace of Lost Souls" (including quests not currently marked with a blue unlocky !).

For DoH, like with Moogle dailies, you can craft the collectable item on any class, then change classes before handing it in.

Challenge Log. Don't forget that you get lumps of experience each week for crafting NQ and HQ items, melding materia, gathering NQ and HQ from nodes, and fishing NQ and HQ fish. The quantities are modest, but they're a nice bonus if you choose to level through a method that involves crafting/gathering items yourself (GC Supply/Provisioning, levequests, grinding, etc.)

Overall, my recommendation would be to try a little bit of every leveling method and find out what's enjoyable for you and fits nicely into your budget and schedule. We have a half-year until Shadowbringers, so if you start now you can take a relaxed pace -- no need to rush, grind doing stuff you hate, and burn yourself out.

Engineering and Survival Manuals and similar buffs

There are a variety of buffs that will help you level, giving you more experience per craft or gather. For DoH, you want Engineering Manuals (the yellow ones); for DoL, it's Survival Manuals (the green ones). You can get these from all sorts of sources -- all the ones I remember are:

Rewards from doing your class quests. Another reason to stay on top of em! These Commercial * Manuals give a 150% boost and last 60 minutes or up to 300,000 exp. You can buy more from Rowena's House of Splendors with red scrips.

Bought from your GC quartermaster (Grand Company Seal Exchange). The strongest ones available are Company-Issue * Manual II (+50% for 180 minutes or for 100,000 exp) for sergeants. Company-Issue * Manuals do not stack with Commerical * Manuals.

Free Company actions. "Helping Hand II" and "Earth and Water II" can be bought from the OIC Quartermaster and give 10% more experience to DoH and DoL respectively. The more powerful III versions are charged on an Aetherial Wheel and provide a 20% bonus.

Rewarded from Squadron Priority Missions. You unlock your GC squadron, IIRC, at Second Lieutenant rank, and unlock Priority Missions by completing the level 40 Flagged Mission. The Squadron * Manuals (+20% for 120 minutes, no limit) you can obtain once-a-week from Priority Mission manuals do not stack with Free Company actions.

Company-Issue/Commercial manuals DO stack with Squadron manuals/FC actions.

The recruit-a-friend reward, Friendship Circlet, can be worn while crafting and gathering for 20% more exp when level 25 or below. Same for the Stormblood preorder(?) reward, Ala Mhigan Earrings, which gives 30% more exp when level 50 or below. Brand-New Ring is wearable only by Disciples of War or Magic, so you can't use that.

While it's not an exp bonus, the crafting facility furnishings (Woodworking Bench, etc.) grant a nice 60 minutes of bonus CP to DoH of level 60 or lower, AND THEY CAN NOW BE PUT INTO STORAGE!!! \o/

And of course, don't forget to eat some sort of food while you're crafting or gathering for the 3% exp bonus.

Which DoH should I level up first?

The correct answer to this question has been, and continues to be, everything at once; omnicrafting is the best way.

In the eras of 2.0 and 3.0, the cross-class abilities you gained from the classes were essential to being able to craft HQ items. Not just at endgame -- having those cross-class abilities while leveling makes your life much, much easier. And because the recipes of each class take components from other classes (e.g., WVR recipes always want a bit of leather and metal), leveling everything up together made you self-sufficient and less vulnerable to wild mark-ups on processed materials at the Market Board. Therefore, I join the majority of crafters in continuing to recommend leveling up all your DoH together.

However...

In 4.0, Stormblood, the designers' vision for DoH changed. From levels 61-70, all classes learn the same abilities, which are stronger (but more expensive) versions of the old cross-class mainstays like Careful Synthesis, Manipulation, and Hasty Touch. Nowadays, if somebody slogged through levels 1-60 on one DoH with no cross-class abilities, they would actually be able to craft at level 70 almost as successfully as an omnicrafter. Since the developers have stated that they're very happy with the crafting system right now, it's reasonable to guess Shadowbringers will be similar.

Additionally, not all cross-class abilities are equally valuable. Whenever a new tier of crafting difficulty is added, the endgame meta shifts slightly, but right now, cross-class abilities like Waste Not and Flawless Synthesis aren't really used.

Therefore, while I do recommend you level up everything together, if you really don't want to, you can get away with abandoning some classes along the way. If Ishgard Reconstruction turns out to be similar to beast tribes, you might get away with having just one capped DoH. On the other hand, the developers have teased exclusive challenges for endgame crafters somehow connected to the Ishgard Reconstruction content, so if you want to be ready for whatever that turns out to be, you should at least get all your cross-class abilities.

My tentative recommendation for DoH leveling priority is something like this:

Get anything to 10 to unlock Quick Synthesis.

Get everything to 15. For example:

WVR 15 (Careful Synthesis)

ALC 15 (Tricks of the Trade)

GSM 15 (Manipulation)

CUL 15 (Hasty Touch)

CRP 15 (Rumination)

ARM (Rapid Synthesis), BSM (Ingenuity), LTW (Waste Not).

CUL 37 (Steady Hand II)

WVR 50 (Careful Synthesis II)

ALC 50 (Comfort Zone)

CRP 50 (Byregot's Blessing)

ARM 50 (Piece by Piece)

CUL 50 (Reclaim)

BSM 50 (Ingenuity II)

GSM 50 (Innovation)

CUL 54 (Muscle Memory)

If you MUST skip one DoH entirely, I'd pick LTW, since the Waste Nots are generally inferior to the Manipulations.

You COULD drop CUL after 54's very useful Muscle Memory. And since CUL doesn't correspond to gear, it doesn't help you repair or meld materia, and other classes generally don't need materials processed by CUL.

Various classes' level 54 Name of [Element] cross-class abilities aren't that useful at present -- they're sometimes used in endgame rotations. GSM's level 54 Maker's Mark is also not currently that useful, though it was OP a couple patches back.

Still -- I think it's safest, and for me less annoying, to level everything together.

Should I craft using macros?

Yes -- I think macros are great for relieving the tedium of the repetitive crafting tasks, which you’ll often have while leveling. (Wish I could tell you where to look for good macros, but as I mentioned, I learned years ago, and I just write my own macros these days!)

However, I think you should spend some time manually crafting as well. It will help you understand when and why you use certain abilities, how not to overcap Durability and CP, why you might or might not take Tricks of the Trade, etc. That skill and knowledge will help you even if you plan to primarily use macros at cap, since it will enable you to tweak those macros to be even better for your stats, teach you when you should cancel a macro and take over, etc. Nevermind that macros are very vulnerable to server congestion and lag...

And once you know how to craft, you will almost always have a higher potential quality manually crafting than using a macro -- your ability to respond to changes in Condition can get you precious more stacks of Inner Quiet or CP for upgrading Touches. I often use macros for putting together components but manually craft the final product to be sure I get the highest possible quality.

Other tips for leveling DoH?

I think you'll find one of the most invaluable resources for leveling baby DoH is access to a house or apartment with a Material Supplier. Your friendly FC (or apartment) Material Supplier will take care of practically all your materials needs through level 20 or more.

There are other useful Materials Suppliers scattered around -- in addition to the those in main cities and each of the guilds, check out the ones in the marketplaces out in residential districts.

I also strongly recommend unlocking every 2.0 A Realm Reborn beast tribe because even at mere Neutral standing the tribe vendors offer materials like Undyed Velveteen and Mythril Ingots that you’ll be using in quantity.

Don’t forget to upgrade your gear as you go, even if you’re just putting on new NQ gear from your class quests. DoL is particularly sensitive to gear -- you can really feel the difference when you upgrade a piece.

And really -- like in all aspects of the game, please be sure to pace yourself and make sure you’re enjoying yourself as you go. We’ve got plenty of time.

If you’ve leveled your DoH and DoL recently, what lessons have you learned you wish you’d had at the beginning? Or if you’re leveling right now, what questions do you have? I’m happy to opine or give basic pointers!

You may find my guide/checklist for DoH and DoL class quest items useful, if you haven’t already seen it. And as I mentioned, I may work on a more detailed, how-to-actually-craft-the-things guide in the future, if there’s interest.

Please, don’t be shy and get in touch! I am so excited to work together to rebuild Ishgard with you!!

[softethan]

Idk but I would love to see you write something for grames about James new tweet

For reference:

But oh my god have you been looking at mine and Louise and nic’s gc bc that was literally the last thing I sent her. anyway here you go anon.

||||||||||

James threw his phone against the bed with a frustrated sigh. He’d thought things were going well with this new guy: he was cute, honest, so smart, showed an interest in James’ career— until he’d gotten a text that had changed all of that.

Hi, J. I’m sorry, I just got to thinking last night and we’re not gonna work out. You’re so loud and you love to be into everything and I can’t date someone in the public eye. I’m not ready for it. Wish you the best.

Which, fuck him for leading James on and making James think they had even a slither of a hope together. They always did this. They loved the fame, the money, the promise of prestige, but the first time James actually had to work everything went to shit.

He grabbed his phone again and sent out a tweet, not even bothering to read it before he was pressing the blue button. He hugged his knees to his chest and shoved his face between his knees and cried.

James’ phone was bursting with notifications when he finally got up the will-power to climb out of bed and start his routine. He didn’t bother checking it right off, knowing there would be the usual “you deserve it,” tweets and comments thrown at him. He wanted to be at home, with Drew and a pint of ice cream but he had to work— he always had work.

He heard Linda’s text tone and grabbed his phone from the dresser. James started to reply when a familiar name crossed the screen and he smiled, exiting out of Linda’s contact and into Grayson’s.

i never liked his bitchass anyway

Which, who would have thought that Grayson would be the one person James could always count on to tell him how shitty the guys he dated were.

James’ face crooked into a smile and his fingers were clicking away on the keys almost immediately.

I don’t think I did either

When will you be home?

Tuesday

James twirled the phone between his fingers and waited for Grayson to answer back. Why was he even up at this absolutely ungodly hour (he’d never understand how the boy went to sleep at 8 and woke up even earlier)?

let us take you out

gray I really don’t want to do that

then just come hang out with us. We haven’t seen you in like a year james

You saw me two weeks ago, Grayson

Best two weeks of my life, honestly

GRAY

just kidding. But really. Come hang out. I miss you.

Fine, fine. I’ve gotta go Gray. I’ll see you when I get home

And if James caught himself smiling and much happier than he’d been before, that wasn’t anyone’s business but his.

||||||||

James tugged his luggage into his house and yelped (screamed) when he say Grayson sitting on his couch with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

“Hi.”

“What the hell, Grayson!”

“I wanted to surprise you. E and Emma are off doing who knows what, and I was bored and Ian was home and then I just decided to stay until you came home so—“ all of this was one breath and faster than James had ever heard him talk and it sounded partially made up but James was too tired to really care about anything at all.

“I was really hoping to get some sleep, Gray.” Which was true. Partially. He wanted to get at least an hour or two before Henry came by to pick up the few shirts he’d left before he’d broken James’ heart.

“That’s okay. I’ll just hang out down here. I was in the middle of a game anyway.” James lip quirked into a smile and he shook his head fondly.

“Go home, Gray. I’m just gonna sleep until Henry gets here to get his things and then I’m going back to bed.” He was exasperated, frustrated, and he didn’t want to explain (didn’t need to explain) to Grayson why James was so hell bent on him going home.

“He’s coming by here?”

And honestly, what else should he have expected from Grayson.

“Just to grab some clothes he left after he spent the night.”

“He spent the night?” Grayson tone rose and he quirked an eyebrow and he was nearly off the couch completely when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” James responded, thankful for the break in a conversation Grayson had no business starting.

The door swung open and Henry stood outside, a small duffle unzipped and ready.

“I, uh. I figured I’d just let you do it,” he explained as he handed James the bag. James mouth hung open and he looked at Henry confused and exasperated at the man’s ignorance.

“Why don’t you take the clothes James has ready for you and leave?” Grayson’s voice came from behind James’ ear and a protective hand rested on the small of his back.

Henry didn’t need much more warning, considering Grayson had a good 4 inches on him and at least 100 pounds.

When the door closed and James could relax, he swatted at Grayson’s chest.

“You asshole! You scared him,” he squealed, his tone playful and thankful.

“I can’t believe he was gonna make you pack it,” Grayson chuckled as he plopped down beside James on the couch. His arm rested lightly behind James head and his thigh touched James’ knees where they were crossed.

Their laughter died down and Grayson glanced over at James.

“I’m sorry I butted in, J.”

“No, it’s fine! He was an asshole and he deserved to pack his own clothes.”

“No, J. I, uh, I told him to break up with you.”

The house was quiet save for the washing machine going in the garage and Ian’s clicking and tapping coming from upstairs.

“You what?” James’ words hissed through his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Thursday morning I text him and— and asked him if he was going to be okay with us hanging out now and— James, he wasn’t a good guy.” Grayson fished desperately for a reasoning to what he’d done to keep James from having someone who cared about him, finally.

“So you’re telling me, that the one guy I’ve found who I actually really liked and who really liked me — Grayson, you told him to dump me?” James was seething. He crawled off the couch and stood up to pace in front of Grayson.

“James, I never told him to break up with you, that was all on him. But — But I didn’t discourage it either and I — James, I’m sorry,” Grayson murmured. “I told him we were filming a collab with you and asked if he’d help because it was a surprise and he— James he pretty much said if E and I filmed with you he wouldn’t keep dating you.”

James was quiet for a long time. Eventually he sat down beside Grayson and thought, long and hard, about what this meant.

“And you told him?”

“That you’d never give up your friends for a guy.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“Sometimes you know me better than I know myself.”

“That happens when you love someone.”

A long pause as they registered the confession Grayson had just slipped out.

“What?” James whispered, quieter than he’d been in months. His voice was small and hopeful.

“When you love someone,” Grayson cleared his throat and tried to gather up the courage to say what he wanted to. “You do strange things for them because you know them better than they do.” Grayson sat up straight and watched for James’ reaction, cracking a smile when James realized what Grayson had said.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“Kiss me?”

“Absolutely.”

[jqtendo]

from jeniver.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JQ!! we don’t talk much at all, but over all these years you have become a special part of [insert whatever the gc is called 💀] and hence, a friend who is special to me!! today is your special day, i’m still in lockdown over here, but i do hope that’s not the case over there for you... go out and have fun!! but not too much fun without us!! 😤 (jk) i hope that soon(er rather than later!) i’d gather up the courage to talk to you more... don’t tell the others even though i know they’d be snooping & reading this (especially u cy)... but i’ve always been slightly intimidated by your aura because you’re so chill & cool 🥺 and i am just a mere peasant !! anyhow, happy birthday once again!! and ALSO HERE IS !! happy birthday song in metal (https://youtu.be/kVviJK30xRM) 🤍 (it’s actually pretty cool sounding if u ask me hehe i also spent a bit too long listening to all of the versions on that channel...)