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#GETTING MY COMPUTER FIXED THIS WINTER BREAK. IM JUST SAYING THAT TO SAY IF IT WASNT BROKEN THERED BE 100000X MORE IMAGES. I LOVVEVEE THTEMMM
micer2012 · 9 months
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my computer screen has been broken since september. meaning for the past Entire Month i had to specifically ask to borrow my roommates drawing tablet every individual time i was autistically overcome with the need to draw the same 2 guys again. 🍦🍦🍦
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luckyspike · 5 years
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Of Love and Loss - a Good Omens Fanfic
co-author credit to Griffin McElroy
--
The cottage has a den and it is agreed, fairly early on, that while it is technically shared space, it falls slightly more under Crowley’s purview than Aziraphale’s. Oh, certainly, there are a few bookshelves* and a display of antique snuffboxes, and the furniture is comfortable and homey, more suited to the angel’s aesthetic than the demon’s, but aside from those touches it is all Crowley’s: dark paint on the walls, houseplants scattered over every free inch of floor, and sleek technology conspicuously placed. There is a TV on the wall, huge and slim and used for very little aside from streaming. In the corner, there is a desk, with the fastest, most powerful computer money could buy.
For the first six months they live in the cottage, it is mostly untouched.
[* Which hold only modern paperbacks, not first editions, because Aziraphale just can’t trust the good books out in a room he doesn’t supervise as closely.]
For the first six months they live in the cottage, Crowley is busy elsewhere: there are gardens to tame, and a greenhouse to stock, and a widow’s walk with a telescope to be enjoyed. Crowley rarely goes into the den at all, other than to water and menace the plants, for those first six months.
But gradually, winter comes, and he and Aziraphale settle into a routine, and Crowley starts to gravitate toward the den. It’s in spurts at first, just when Aziraphale is at the shop and it’s too cold to do anything else, but it gets more frequent. Longer periods of time.
By nine months, Aziraphale is worried. Crowley is still Crowley, still stalks around his plants and shouts at them, but other than that, he is in the den. He lays on the couch, and sleeps, and watches TV, and sleeps some more.
Aziraphale asks if he’s tired, one day. “You’re sleeping a lot,” he observes. “A lot more than ... than I remember you doing, in London. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah.” And then, because Aziraphale has this look he does that renders Crowley unable to lie, he admits, “I’m bored.”
Aziraphale’s face falls. “Oh. Oh. I see. Yes, not the ... there isn’t the same bustle here as there is in London, is there?”
“No, no, nonono.” Crowley holds up his hands, worried and insistent. “Not what I meant, angel. No, I still get in to London when I drop you off at your shop, that’s plenty. But ...” He shrugs. “I used to have a job. Wiling and tempting and that. But I ... don’t anymore. I used to plan stuff, and spend too much time scheming, and now I don’t ... have a job?” He shifts. “It’s not here. Not living here. I just feel a bit ... useless?” He frowns. “Not the right word. Can’t come up with a word. Do you follow me?”
“You’re missing having a task?” Aziraphale guesses. “A goal or some such, whether you like it or not?” He sets his book aside and sits back in his chair, the better to watch Crowley over steepled fingers. “Yes, I think I understand.”
“Like, you have your shop, same as always. But I only had being a demon. That was my job and it’s what I am. But now I’m ... still a demon, obviously, but an unemployed demon, so ...” He throws up his hands. “Bored.”
Aziraphale nods sympathetically. “Yes. I see. Well ... you could try some different things? Volunteering at the animal shelter -”
“Really? Animals hate me, angel.”
“Ah, yes, that’s right. Volunteering at the school?”
Crowley makes a show of looking at himself. “Not sure that’s really my scene.”
“Volunteering at the -”
Crowley sighs, and sits back, the tip of his considerable nose propped on his knuckles. “I’ll think about it. Find something, I’m sure. Maybe try beachcombing.”
“Maybe,” says Aziraphale, without much confidence. He wonders how he’s going to break to Crowley that most of what you find beachcombing is not, in fact, treasure, but junk. “You could give it a shot.”
“Bah.” Crowley sits back further, slouching deep into the chair, and sprawls his limbs all akimbo. “I’ll sleep on it. Wake me up for dinner?”
“You’re eating tonight?”
“No, but you are.” He tugs the tartan throw off the back of the chair, and wraps it around himself. “I’ll join if you’ll have me.”
“Of course.”
--
Crowley talks to his technology a lot. He doesn’t see well, Aziraphale knows, and these days the technology talks back, makes it easier for the demon to navigate. So when he hears Crowley chatting to something - someone? - in the den one cool night in late spring, he doesn’t pay much mind.
When it happens a second time that week, he wonders, but he doesn’t investigate. Probably just talking to Anathema. He pulls the doors to the library closed, and reads for the rest of the night.
When it continues the next week, curiosity gets the better of him. It’s around nine, and Crowley is talking in the den again, and Aziraphale sighs and sets his book down and goes to investigate.
The demon is sitting at the computer. The screen is massive, and Crowley is looking at it through his dark glasses. He has a controller in his hands, and a set of headphones on, and he is talking into, of all things, a microphone.
Aziraphale blinks. “What’s this, then?”
Crowley jumps, and then says into the microphone, “Ah, yeah, one second, got an old friend here,” before he hits a button and pulls the headphones off. He jumps up out of the chair and moves to the right. Aziraphale notices then, that there is a camera, fixed on where Crowley was sitting. He frowns.
“What are you doing?”
“Working.” Crowley sticks his hands into his pockets and for the first time in nearly a year since they moved, looks inordinately pleased with himself. “Found a thing to do.”
“This isn’t a sex thing, is it?” Aziraphale asks warily. 
“Nah.” He jerks a thumb toward the computer. “Nah it’s ... uh.” He thinks it over. “I have no idea how to explain this to you.” He frowns. “You know video games?”
Aziraphale nods. “... Broadly, yes.”
“Okay. Right. So there’s this website called Twitch. An’ what you do, is you play video games, but while you do that you broadcast your game to other people who want to watch you play. Adam showed it to me.” He waves his hands around, toward the computer. “S’kinda like a reality show? But video games.”
“And other people watch this?”
“Yeah. Got 100 viewers right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m hilarious.” He rocks back and forth on his heels and smirks. “Also, they give me money sometimes.”
“Willingly?”
“Yes, of course. I’m retired, remember? Well, from being a demon.” He looks pleased. “Now I’m a Twitch streamer. Part-time.”
The only reason that Aziraphale does not remark that this is a natural progression, as smooth a transition as from shore to sea, is that he does not really understand Twitch. Instead, he nods. “Good. And you’re ... having fun?”
“Oh yeah. Loads.” He glances over his shoulder. “Wanna watch for a bit? You can sit in the background. Really gets the chat going, when stuff happens in the background.”
“It’s not one of those violence games, is it?” But the angel is pulling over a wicker chair and sitting down even as he asks. “With all the killing?”
“Nah. S’pokemon. Like Joshua talks about.” He sits back down, and slides the headphones back on. “Right, what’d you want me to call you? Gotta introduce you.”
“Mr. Fell.”
Crowley gives Aziraphale a long-suffering look. “That’s not what ... never mind. Right, anything you say’ll probably get picked up on the mic, so just watch it, yeah? I’m gonna un-mute it.” He taps a button, and says, “Right, everyone, this is Az Fell. He’s ah, my favorite librarian, my best friend and uh ... my roommate.” Aziraphale blinks. Oh, so that’s what he’d meant. Well ... he wasn’t wrong.
Roommate feels a bit impersonal though. They will discuss it later.
“Right, so anyway, back to the run. Fell, this is ah, s’called a Nuzlocke run, where if your pokemon faints you have to let it go because it’s dead.”
“Oh,” says Aziraphale, who understood exactly none of that sentence.
“I just started. You’ll pick it up as we go.”
To Aziraphale’s surprise, he does. He picks up on the pokemon types, the point of the game, the exploration, and the apparently-bizarre rules Crowley has decided to play to game under. He comes to like the names, and the pokemon, and despite the fact that they are not real, he finds himself getting attached to them.
The first faint, an hour into the game, takes them both by surprise. 
“Fuck!” Crowley glares at the screen. “Fuck! That’s not even a bug-type move!”
Aziraphale raises his hands to his mouth. “So Betty is dead?”
“Betty is dead,” Crowley confirms, morosely. “R I P Betty.”
“Look at all the little tombstones in the chat.” Aziraphale sighs, and wrings his hands. “Oh, dear. We should send her off.”
They do, when the battle ends. Solemnly, Crowley releases Betty the Rattata to the wild, and he and Aziraphale bow their heads while a bagpipe rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’ plays. Aziraphale wipes away a single tear. The chat goes wild.
xxGonnaMunch69xx: omg AJ your boyfriend is crying JamesBuffetsDick: RIP Betty and my feelings KnopeForPresident: omgggg im dead RIP Betty JisforJerg: fuckkkkkkkkkkk i had money on Betty living to the end GisforGreg: omg kiss your boyfriend so he feels better
Crowley sits up straighter as the music fades away. Aziraphale sniffles, blinks a few times and tries to subtly dab his eyes, and nods to Crowley, who returns the gesture before turning back to the screen and fiddling with the controls a little.
“We will fight on in her memory,” he intones, as his avatar on the screen runs in a circle in a patch of tall grass. “We will fight on for Betty. We’re gonna kill the Elite Four, and Betty’s name will be our war cry. For Betty!” 
“For Betty!” Aziraphale nods firmly, and watches the screen intently. Crowley soldiers on, navigating around Kalos, and Aziraphale watches, although his thoughts are with Betty. He wonders what pokemon do after you release them to the wild. Maybe he will ask Joshua next time they see him.
Crowley, recovering from his grief more rapidly, is on one of his monologues, waxing philosophical on the nature of pokemon match-ups, as his character runs around on-screen. “They’re just playing Calvinball with the dragon and fairy types too, since they’re not even real, and who decided that dragons would be weak to fairies? Should be the other way around, if you ask me - oh, shit, I didn’t want to jump off that ledge, fuck.” He grumbles. “We’re gonna have to walk all the way back to town.”
“You’ll run into some wild pokemon on the way though, won’t you?”
“Can’t catch ‘em.” Crowley sighs, as the screen flashes and a Psyduck assails the character. “Already got one off this route.”
“But you can smite them? For experience?”
Crowley laughs. “Yeah, yeah, angel, I can smite them for experience.” He taps a few buttons. “Get ‘em, Blanche.”
“For Betty!” Aziraphale declares, seizing his mug of tea with probably more enthusiasm than necessary.
“Yeah,” Crowley agrees, still laughing. “Yeah! Fuck you, this one’s for Betty!” 
In his chair, Crowley shifts around, spreading his knees and stretching his legs a little. Next to him, and out of view of the camera, Aziraphale’s hand comes to rest on his knee. 
Crowley doesn’t blush; they have been doing this ... whatever it is they’re doing ... publicly long enough that he doesn’t react quite that violently now. But the next few sibilants are a little more hissed than usual, and Crowley shifts in the chair again under the pretense of getting more comfortable, yet somehow ending up a few inches closer to Aziraphale.
k2p2ribbingforherpleasure: fuck yea blanche kill that duck for betty bubbletii: cant wait for them to get to the ocean and catch a magikarp GisforGreg: am i the only one who noticed AJ moved closer to Fell or ... ROOMMATES HUH LIAR JisforJerg: jfc greg shut up and watch the game
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iamnotbrianmay · 6 years
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The A Experience
Here goes chapter 7, ladios. 
okay so, since some people are having trouble with the tag list im putting it first: @seven-seas-of-why, @twotitsjohndeacon, @dancindeaky, @gee-uloser, @mozzarellamazzello, @mozzie-s, @deracine-dogma-deux, @shutupanddontjudge, @warping-reality, @demianhill
and now on to the chapter! I’m sorry it’s so dialogue heavy! But the plot is moving forward now! 
“Okay,” Brian said plopping down on the seat and giving Roger the  hot chocolate he had ordered, “We have twenty days from now until the Christmas dinner and we have to make our break up believable. Let’s get planning.”
He typed in the password for his laptop and opened a word document. Brian barely noticed that Roger had not answered until the screen of his computer was pushed down slightly, “Mate, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?”
Roger rolled his eyes and started taking off his gloves, “I can’t believe you are going to plan everything.”
Brian huffed in annoyance, “Well, Rog, if I don’t we might end up forgetting or messing things up. Or do you want me to remind you of the Nutella incident?”
Roger visibly shivered, and Brian wasn’t kin on remembering their slip earlier that week, their near disaster that would have inevitably ended with them looking like utter buffoons. Brian cracked his neck, trying to lessen his embarrassment. Yes, that was definitely a story for another time when the pressure of nailing this thing wasn’t upon them.  
“Okay, fine, have it your way, nerd.” Roger said as he took out his cigarette, Brian glared at him for taking the ugly thing out in the middle of a crowded restaurant with children all around them.
“Any ideas with how to start?”
Roger shrugged, “Maybe we could just get you drunk and leave you like that on their doorstep.”
Brian made a face, “It’s not a bad idea, actually.”
“Are you kidding me?” Roger said, “It’s terrible, I don’t know what kind of drunk you are! What if you snitch on us?”
“I won’t snitch,” Brian said indignantly, “but I will write that idea down because it’s not stupid.”
“Fine,” Roger scoffed, “what do you have in mind?”
Brian shrugged, “Maybe I could cheat on you or something.”
“No,” Roger said, “they won’t buy that. Make me cheat on you.”
“No,” Brian replied, “I won’t do that to you.”
Roger let out an irritated sigh, “Why are you making it so difficult to break up?”
“Because,” Brian tried to explain, but his mind was blank for a few seconds, “It should be believable!”
“And cheating isn’t a good excuse to break up?”
“Not if it hurts you!”
Roger gave a strangled scream, “God your so infuriatingly polite.”
“I try to be!”
Silence settled between both of them, they looked around, trying not to meet each other’s eyes as they calmed down. Roger took a drag from his cigarette and used his shirt to cover up the smoke he blew. Brian eyed him curiously, wondering if it was rude to ask for a drag. He had always been curious about the cigarettes. Roger caught him staring.
“Bad habit,” Roger admitted, “I know, even more so for a person who sings, but everything is better than the real ones.”
“You used to smoke a lot?”
Rogger nodded and took another drag, “Started out pretty young. Now that I think about it it’s embarrassing.”
“You are trying to fix it,” Brian offered, “that’s what matters.”
“I guess it is,” Roger replied.
There was another awkward silence in which the nearly blank word document starred back at Brian in accusation. He knew he should have just written ‘Roger cheating’ as an option, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not because he thought it would bother the other man, or because he thought it wouldn’t be a good excuse, but because he couldn’t bring himself to fill that page with tangible, and very valid, excuses to break up with Roger.
In the end Roger broke the silence, he sighed heavily and closed the laptop once again, “We are doing this wrong, Brian.”
The older man frowned, “We are?”
Roger nodded, “We shouldn’t be sitting in a cafe arguing about how we are going to break up before we even hang out properly.”
“Rog, that makes no sense.”
“Of course it does,” the blond argued, “we can’t properly stage a break up if we don’t even know each other.”
“Why not?”
Roger took a sip from his chocolate, mulling over his options before saying something under his breath. Brian couldn’t catch it, but before he could ask what Roger had said, the blond spoke up, “What if I want to know you before we break up?”
Brian froze for a second, looking at Roger with wide eyes. Every moment without an answer Roger’s eyes started to fill with regret. Brian could see it, the way his sudden bravado started to dim, giving way to uncertainty. Roger started to get up, gathering his gloves and warm cup of chocolate, but Brian was faster. He grabbed Roger’s wrist, which looked ridiculously thin compared to the thick wool sweater he was wearing. He stared at the younger man for a few seconds, admiring how his long hair framed his face and his blue eyes looked at Brian expectantly. He looked like an angel dressed in the white sweater, Brian notes, and finally snapped out of his haze.
“What do you have in mind, Rog?”
The younger man smiles tentatively and Brian feels his butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
————
“Farrokh Bulsara, I can’t believe you actually wore every single one of my decent shirts and then forgot to wash them!”
“Don’t ‘Farrokh Bulsara’ me, darling,” Freddie snapped back, “and, mind you, it’s not my fault the power was out and we couldn’t do laundry!”  
“That was five days ago Freddie!”
Brian felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around, John was holding a white button up shirt in his hand, “Take this, you’ll look nice.”
“That’s my special shirt, John!”
The younger man glared at his boyfriend, “I know.”
Brian grabbed the shirt, putting it on while glaring at Freddie, and then rolled the sleeves up when he realised that they looked ridiculously small on his long arms. He tucked the shirt into his pants and went into the bathroom too look at himself in the mirror.
He looked-- decent.
White shirt and shoes, black pants, curly hair recently washed and fluffed by the three hundred chemicals that Freddie had insisted on putting on his hair. He even had the thick, black, leather wristbands that covered his pale wrists.
Yes, he actually didn’t look bad at all.
He stepped out and jokingly obliged to Freddie’s request of showing off his outfit. The three men laughed when he struck a ridiculous pose, and then grew quiet once Brian’s phone dinged. He picked it up nervously, and saw that Roger had sent him the location of the club he had chosen for their night out.
“It’s not that far away,” Freddie noted. “We could walk with you if you want too.”
Yes, please, do so, Brian wanted to scream, I have never been this nervous in my entire life.
But he knew that he shouldn’t show them his real feelings, according to their knowledge this was far from Brian’s first date with Roger. He wanted to hit himself in the face, but instead just smiled and shook his head.
“I’m fine, guys,” He hugged John, and then turned to Freddie, “thank you for the shirt.”
Freddie laughed, “You look good, darling.”
The older man kissed Brian’s cheek, before wishing him a good night, and then Brian was off. He bundled himself inside his thick winter coat and walked over to the promised club. He was there in less than fifteen minutes, and blushed when he was that Roger had been waiting for him outside the place, smoking an electronic cigarette.
He smiled once he saw Brian approaching and stuffed the cigarette into his pocket, “You ready?”  
Brian nodded, and Roger turned towards the man at the door, he gave him a small smile and greeted him as he let them pass.
Inside the music was loud enough for Brian and Roger not to hear anything, the lights were dim, the reflectors all around the room were only there for show and colouring. Otherwise, the room was completely black. Brian could see people dancing and milling around, a set of sofas to the side of the club in which at least five couples were snogging their faces off, and a bar with a long line. The four bartenders were struggling to keep up with the rate at which people were ordering their drinks and Brian felt a little bad as Roger grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the bar.
They stayed at the side, waiting for one of the bartenders to notice them. Talking about nothing and everything, and wondering if there was somewhere they could leave their jackets for the night.
“Roger,” one of the people said, “long time no see.”
Roger smiled and turned towards the bartender, a lanky man, almost as tall as Roger, with mismatched eyes and a thin and crooked nose, “Bowie! I didn’t know you would be working tonight!”
The other man, Bowie, raised his eyebrows, “Neither did I, but the water bill came in a little too high this month.”
Roger grimaced, “Tough luck.”
The other man shrugged, “Who’s your friend here?”
Roger turned towards Brian and the guitarist extended his hand, “Brian May.”
Bowie gave him a crooked smile and shook his hand, “David Bowie, please to meet you.”
There was a scream from one of the people working behind the bar and David grimaced, “I have to go, but I’ll get your drinks once I’m free.”
He turned and started walking towards the multitude of people before stopping for a second, “Nearly forgot, Taylor. Your table is number five.”
“Thanks mate!” Roger called back and turned towards Brian. “Let’s go.”
Brian followed Roger pressing up against the younger man’s back to talk to him, “You come here often?”
Roger nodded, “I’m a VIP here.”
They got near a table marked with a sign that read ‘previous reservation’ and Roger threw his things down on the booth. His thick coat landed on the wooden table then slid down to the ground. Brian chuckled and placed his things carefully, sliding into one side of the booth.
Roger sat down opposite of him, and smiled at Brian, “Nice club, eh?”
Brian couldn’t know, he hadn’t been to many in his years, “Yeah, it’s cool.”
Roger scrunched up his nose, “Aw man, I completely forgot to ask you what you drank. I hope you don’t mind vodka.”
Again, Brian didn’t know what he would like cause he didn’t drink much except for the odd bear that Freddie coaxed him into trying. He shrugged, aiming for nonchalance, “As long as it’s good.”
Roger eyed him with interest, “You aren’t much of a drinker, are you?”
Brian blushed, “That obvious?”
Roger chuckled, “Don’t worry, Freddie made me promise to take care of you.”
He rolled his eyes at the comment, then studied Roger. His long blond hair looked freshly washed, a too big button up shirt like the one Brian was wearing was thrown over black track pants. He looked beautiful, there was no other word to describe it.
“So, the band.”
Roger leaned forward, “We have rehearsal tomorrow, don’t we?”
Brian nodded, “I’m actually looking forward to hearing you play.”
“You might regret that,” Roger said teasingly, “I’ll make them forget you once they hear me drum.”
Brian raised his eyebrows, “Oh, is that so?”
“Yep,” Roger nodded, “you’re good, but you are no Roger Taylor.”
“What you saw me play was nothing,” Brian boasted, “I could play that set with my eyes closed.”
Soon their drinks arrived, and Brian and Roger kept talking. They drank, Roger more liberally than Brian, and they laughed. The guitarist could feel the warmth of alcohol spreading across his body and slurring his words once they got to the fourth glass of what Roger had called a November cocktail.
By the fifth November Roger dragged Brian into the dance floor. He was unsteady on his feet, which even without the alcohol weren’t very coordinated. Roger guided him, placing a hand on his waist and another one on his upper arm. Brian imitated him, and let the younger man guide them across the dance floor.
He let the beat of the music flow into his brain, taking in the one thing which made him feel completely at ease, even if the music wasn’t the usual Nirvana or Jimi Hendrix that blasted through their apartment on the saturday mornings when they have cleaning duty. The beat was constant, the words in a language he couldn’t quite understand, maybe because of the alcohol in his system, maybe because it wasn’t english at all.
It was only after an hour with Roger dancing and talking in the middle of the club, that they finally grew tired. His limbs felt heavy, his eyes were drooping, and Roger was the one that helped him get to the table and put on his coat. They were still talking, giggling every time one of them said or did something stupid. They walked out fifteen minutes later, arm in arm, and heading towards Brian’s flat for the second time that week.
Snow was falling all around them, but for some reason Brian didn’t feel the cold. He could just feel the smaller man pressed to his side, and the wobbly the ground seemed to be. Once they got to the door of the complex Brian looked down at the blond. His cheeks were flushed, his nose looked red from the cold, and his blue eyes were wide and unfocused.
Brian felt himself sober up once he remembered that the younger man still had eleven blocks from their current standing point to his apartment. Brian frowned, “Stay the night, Rog. It’s way too cold for you to walk back to your house.”
The younger man’s lips parted and a cloud of mist left them, making Brian’s point clearer.
“You can come with us to the rehearsal,” Brian offered, “and taste John’s pancakes.”
Roger smiled, and nodded. They walked up the stairs, Roger making sure that Brian didn’t tumble down the stairs and trying to convince himself that that was the exact reason why he had agreed to come up to the apartment once again.
Once they got there all the lights were turned on, and there was soft sound coming from the living room. Brian put a finger to his lips and tried to take off his shoes as quietly as possible and hang his coat on the rack. Roger followed, making sure that the inebriated Brian didn’t fall back and crack his skull.
They stumbled into Brian’s bedroom, careful not to make any noise, and wake up John and Freddie. Their efforts were useless however, since the television suddenly shut off and they heard Freddie’s voice from the living room, “Brian, dear, are you home?”
Brian turned towards Roger, motioning once again for him to stay quiet even though Roger knew that Freddie probably wouldn’t mind Roger being there with Brian, “Um, yeah. Just got here.”
Brian cringed at his slurred words and Roger giggled, stepping into the room and sitting on the bed. He heard soft steps and then Freddie saying, “I know it’s late but I just wanted to know how-- oh dear, are you drunk?”
At that Roger couldn’t keep his giggles in, and Brian soon followed. With their secret now uncovered brian opened the door completely and let Freddie see the younger man. He didn’t look pissed, but his expression was not amused either, “I thought I told you to take care of him.”
“He did,” Brian defended Roger, “he helped me get here.”
“We had fun.” Roger added, “if you wanted to know how tonight went.”
At that Freddie smiled and walked over to the kitchen to get two glasses of water. Meanwhile Roger and Brian got ready for bed, Roger found himself in the same oversized pajamas he had been using a few days prior and Brian smiled when he saw him.  
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Freddie walked in, placing both glasses on the bedside table and smiling at the boys, “You are going to need that tomorrow.”
“I know,” Roger answered, “sorry for not keeping my promise.”
Freddie looked at Brian, who was clumsily climbing into bed, and smiled, “It’s fine. You had fun.”
“We did.”
Freddie placed a kiss on top of Roger’s head, “See you tomorrow, dear.”
“G’night, Freddie.”
He clambered into bed beside Brian and the older man watched with doe eyes as the blond settled down on the matters and covered himself with the covers. He waited until Roger was settled down to turn the light off, and laid back down, trying to see Roger in the darkness.
He couldn’t see much, but he could just make out Roger’s outline, and the soft smell of alcohol and electric cigarette smoke that seemed to cling to Roger since they had left the club.
“You were right,” Brian whispered.
“About what?”
“We were doing it wrong.”
There was a soft silence in which Brian could feel Roger press his cold feet to Brian’s legs, and hear the younger man’s soft breathing and rustling around.  
“Thank you for tonight, Roggie.”
“You’re welcome, boyfriend.”
Brian laughed, but something about Roger’s comment left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Okay, tell me what you though about his chapter! And know that the next chapter will mark the beggining of the one of the major conflict in the fic!
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artmusicjoy · 6 years
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i just want to scream into an abyss
but i also want hang out with friends
but everyone is an ocean away (even though I’m meeting new people but haven’t reached out to them because I don’t know how to nor do I know how available they are but i feel better talking with them, is that because they’re cool people or because they’re people at all? also i’ve kept in touch with pretty much everyone from home anyway so why the fuck do i feel so alone?)
i just want a hug (i like hugs, ok?!?!)
i just want to talk (i don’t even know what about. something deep but simple and trashy but not pointless even though realistically everything is pointless)
i just want something (probably dinner, but I feel sick from eating so much earlier, or am i actually hungry again and just can’t differentiate the feelings because i’m fortunate enough to not wonder where / when my next meal is, except now that I’m feeding myself I can’t get off my lazy ass to take care of myself. or am I just joking about dinner because i can’t describe this want i actually feel?)
i want to do something 
(God going back through this makes that part feel like shitty poetry^^^)
and now i’m going through to bold the original stream of consciousness so anyone reading can see how editing thoughts works, because I can’t even trust my gut on my emotions in real time. or did I just say i can’t trust myself because of a jaded character i was watching a few minutes ago? i can’t even trust my own commentary on my commentary. I’m a mess.
i want to scream and cry and laugh and run and dance and write and read and study and cook and break things and punch a wall without alerting my flatmates and actually feel like I’m close with them without coming across as weird for not getting to know them better the past month and just feel normal
but there is not such thing as truly normal so why do I care so much about being it?
would friends even help me in the long term or just distract me in the moment until we go our separate ways for the night or day or week or lifetime. as much as i love my friends and know they’ll want to help, I don’t want to weigh them down with my wellbeing. Especially since everyone has their own shit to deal with that’s arguably worse than mine. Yet if they said that to me, I’d reply “someone with a broken ankle won’t (or at least shouldn’t) tell someone with a sprained ankle that their pain isn’t real or valid.” 
my is my default feeling so numb and so painful at the same time
why can’t I cry about this? like i physically have felt the need to cry in the back of my mind for the past like three weeks and have only gotten a few tears out
i need to get more done
even if more is crying
why am i bothering to fix any mistakes I type as though I’m going to post this
should I post this or would my friends worry too much? should I let my vent into the infinite abyss of the internet and maybe someone will relate and feel better by seeing it
or am i just typing so I can look through my thoughts like a diary while not talking to myself (like a crazy person in the movies) 
is it even that normal that I can like feel the need to cry build in my life? do i really feel better when cry or is it just the relief of being empty (i just fixed two more spelling mistakes)
I keep telling myself in class that I’m motivated enough to work on the next project (or reading for my classes) and I even started an idea for one, but I’ll probably scrap it because it was so spur of the moment
and I’m behind on the dictionary project partially because I don’t give a shit, partially because I feel like I’m behind in the class when I’m really not, and partially because I feel like putting it off knowing I’l get it done eventually because I always do
I can boast never using an extension even though it means I’ve stayed up till 3 AM to write two paragraphs, only to stop at 3:30 to take a shower that I was putting off until I finished my work, as though disregarding my body’s health is the way to keep my mind from staying idle
and that was a year ago
now I just feel bad about feeling bad and not doing the things I know will help me
I fucking wrote my 300 level English final paper while my mom was packing up my dorm room so I could go home for winter break and have everything to be abroad. She was so worried seeing me work in the moment, so down to the wire. But so proud that I was able to buckle down and do it. Whereas I felt like shit for not doing it sooner. It was a topic I CHOSE and I LIKED IT. WHY THE FUCK DID I PUT IT OFF>!!>??!? I don’t even remember, probably because of my other, less exciting but way bigger project weighing down my spirit
if I just change my scenery then I’ll probably feel better
go to the common room to be on my computer instead of the same for walls of my room that I’ve decided were better because they’re private and nobody can judge me in here, but they also can’t get to know me and I can’t get anything (or much, I’m somehow doing some of the readings) done. You know, like a few other people do and then I’ll feel weird for only starting to do it now. idk
if I could just find another passion to keep me going, a new show or book
god i need to get the courage to go enjoy the library here. I feel so out of place there. nothing’s worse than feeling like a waste of space and a stupid piece of shit in a university library full of people like me who are probably procrastinating or struggling to finish work or even trying to figure out the English language because they’re from the freaking Netherlands and India and everywhere else
while im just the american in England who is struggling over something I probably wouldn’t feel if my life were just a bit worse. as though switching my life with some starving child in the arctic circle would make me feel better because i’d be too close to death to feel like shit and they could enjoy all the benefits I feel like i’m abusing by wasting away on my computer typing into a void rather than actually working to resolve my own issues
because maybe this post will somehow help me resolve things by putting them all out for others to see. or so i can reference it later. idfk
like “hi friends, I’m feeling like shit. Also I’m loving my time abroad, I had chocolate pancakes for dinner last week and I somehow feel like I have the right to complain about doing nothing and feeling bad about doing nothing.”
like knowing you’re a piece of shit doesn’t make you better than anyone because everyone should be trying to work towards a better self and more complete sense of self but i don’t even know where I’m going with this sentence, let alone my fucking life
maybe I should get a boring office job because then I’ll know what to expect and how to get my mundane task done instead of trying to build up the will to be my own boss as a writer and still never feel motivated to put my LONG list of ideas out into the world beyond my desktop
I seriously have over 70 pages of bulleted ideas, half of them are barely formed but i can’t bring myself to get rid of them because they might be worth something to someone one day
i wonder how future historians will deal with old laptops and the documents that were never shared there or the posts that feel so personal but so private as anyone can find them but only some will know the face behind my screen
do I want to share these thoughts with everyone? just close friends? or nobody, not even myself?
fuck it
To my friends: don’t feel obligated to read all this or reply. But you can if you want. Wow this sounds so manipulative, like reverse psychology bullshit. I’m sorry. 
I’m second guessing posting all this. But after all the effort I put in, I think it’s important to have and remember or whatever.
here it goes
EDIT: two minutes later and I feel like an attention whore and feel bad and need to point it out before people (strangers mostly, but still) make that judgment of me themselves. And now feeling like more of an attention seeking piece of shit for pointing it out. why is my brain so broken
would I ever really talk like this face to face? will people see me differently after this? i... whatever
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8bityeol · 7 years
Text
Office Cohorts
fluff // There’s trouble bubbling up at work
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With a screech, the chair in front of you was pulled up. You kept your face pointed down at your laptop, but your eyes didn’t dare take themselves away from the intruder who’d now sat down and placed his files and cup down. You waited for him to say something, better yet, stand up and sit at the other empty tables.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” He asked.
You inwardly scoffed. What was the point in asking when he’d already become well acquainted with the seat?
“Sure.” You finally said.
A few seconds passed in which you typed on your laptop whilst his eyes flickered from his files then to his phone and back to your face in an almost rabid manner, like an over-excited puppy of sorts. Refusing to engage with him, you kept your eyes glued down to the screen.
He cleared his throat and you involuntarily looked up, then chastised yourself when you saw his eyes practically gleam, this was his opening for a conversation and you’d stupidly given it to him.
“Which department are you in?” He asked.
“Marketing.”
“Cool, so is it all like designing stuff for the campaigns?” He asked. “I’m from the IT department, well not really since im an intern but basically right.”
You should’ve guessed he was an intern, that childish curiosity and excitement screamed fresh out of university. Plus he looked the part as well.
“Something like that.”
“Cool.”
You hummed in response and he, likewise. The atmosphere quickly shifted to a silence which could’ve been comfortable one if it wasn’t for the person sat in front of you. Still, you concentrated on your work and hurried on considering your break was nearing its end. Yes, you were working on your break but deadlines were deadlines.
Looking at the time on your phone, you closed your laptop and cleared your throat. He looked up expectantly.
“Well, I’ll be going now. It was nice talking,” you said, standing up.
“Likewise, I hope we’ll see each other around.” He said, smiling wide.
You gave him a fleeting smile and stalked off with your laptop and empty cup in hand. Too bad you weren’t going to see him, and if the universe was truly on your side, you’d be granted the power of being able to avoid him. If there was one thing you couldn’t stand it was the preppy interns, but thank god they cooled down after a few months at the job.
****
“And for winter 2017, we’ve projected a 21% increase in sales when this ad for this collection does run,” You said, pressing the clicker for the next slide, but the screen was frozen. You pressed the clicker a few more times but still, the screen was unmoving.
You silently cursed as you leant down to fiddle with the button on your laptop. You could feel the … eyes of the board members digging into you as you fretted over your slide. It was supposed to room smooth for heaven’s sake, you’d been preparing for this project for a good month and now, things were playing up.
“Uh, well, seems as though my computer does not want to comply,” you said, plastering a board smile on your face. “We’ll continue with the presentation.”
Foot daring to shake, and stomach dwelling in the deep depths of your body, you continued with the presentation, reciting the tidbit you’d memories from spending hours on this project. The presentation seemed to go slower than the hour it had been said to end.
The moment each board men shuffled out of the meeting room, you breathed a sigh of relief and you could’ve keeled over if it wasn’t for the open seat. You cursed your laptop and all technology as you gulped down the untouched bottle of water.
Having calmed down the last waves of nerves, you stalked out of the meeting and to your office. The moment you sat down, you opened your laptop and still, the screen was frozen. You moved the mouse around, nothing. While the presentation has gone, you still needed your laptop so you exited your office and beelined towards the most technological friend you had at the office.
“Yixing,” your voice was sickly sweet as you leant over his cubicle.
Noticing you, he took his earphones out and sighed. “What?”
“I need your help,” you said.
“I’m busy,” he said, with a ghost of a smirk. “Really busy in fact. Almost too busy.”
You peered at his screen, Spotify was open and in the task bar was Photoshop, clearly deserted. “Busy? Sure. That poster is being completed huh?”
“If I help you will you go?” he asked.
You nodded, “Of course. I just need you to do your magic on my laptop. This junk decided to fail me on presentation.”
His eyebrows rose up, “During presentation or before?”
Reliving the event, you sighed. “During. It just froze on me and I looked like a headless chicken who doesn’t know how to operate a laptop.”
Grimacing, he took the laptop from your hands and opened it. “Tell me you managed to get through it?”
“I did,” you said. “I wanted to kill myself, but I did it.”
He hummed in response as his fingers tapped the keys, “Good to know but… I don’t think I can save your laptop. It’s probably a problem with the driver and I don’t want to be responsible when your things get wiped out.”
“You’re kidding right?” you said. “I need to do work when I get home.”
“Go to IT.”
“IT?”
He nodded. “Yes IT. That small department where they fix computers.”
And so, you found yourself, broken laptop in hand taking the lift down to the second floor. You walked through the hallway leading to the IT office, weaving past faces you’d seen for the first time in your five years of working here.
Your entrance caused a few heads to look up, you’d guess it was because hardly anyone comes here, IT always went to the people. The room was filled with computers, some stacked in a far corner and other technological things of a similar nature.
There was a larger desk in near the window, headed by a man with a worn face and equally worn out hair. He looked like the manager.
“Hi, sorry to be a bother, but I need your help with my laptop,” you said. “It froze on me and someone said it might be a problem with one of the drivers.”
He looked up from his screen, “Uh, I can’t right now, little lady.”
You grimaced at the nickname he’d given you. “But I really need this fixed, It’s really important.”
“I get it, but I can’t just help you. Listen, how about I get one the other guys to do it?” he said. “Uh, Baekhyun!”
“Yes sir?”
You turned around just at the moment, you saw him spring up from his chair. You immediately recognised him, it as the guy from the cafe, the one you’d met last month and wished you’d never see again. And judging from his smile, he’d be probably wishing for the opposite.
“Come ere’,” The manager said. “I need you to fix this lady’s laptop,” he looked to you, “And you just tell him what the problem is. He’s a smart one so he’ll fix it in no time.”
“Well, alright,” you said.
“Wanna come round to my desk?” Baekhyun asked.
You nodded and followed him towards his desk. You inwardly groaned at the haphazard nature of his desk. Trinkets were littered across the white desk, little toys and stickers. Noticing your eyes, he shifted a few objects to the side as he sat down.
“Laptop?” he asked.
“Oh, sorry,” you handed him the laptop.
“No problem,” he said with a small chuckle. “So what’s the problem with it?”
“It froze up and I can’t get it to work. My friend said it might be the driver or something, but I have no clue what it is.”
“Hm, I see. If it’s that simple I can probably get it done by the end of the day,” he said.
You breathed a sigh of relief, “Good, I need it done by today.”
He nodded, “Before you go, I need your email address.”
You couldn’t keep the surprise and maybe anguish off your face, God could he be more forward. “My email?”
He looked confused, “yes…your email. The company one. I’m gonna need to email you when I’m done or if there’s an issue.”
“Oh, I see,” You picked a pen and scribbled your work email onto a blank piece of paper. You willed the heat from your face to die down, it was embarrassing enough getting flustered by an intern. “Yeah, just drop me one when you’re done.”
With a parting exchange of smiles, you leave the IT office and go back to your own department. As you sit at your own office and desk, your mind wandered back towards Baekhyun the intern. If all was well, you’d just grab your laptop and be on your merry way but something inside you to that it wouldn’t be the last time you saw him. As annoying as that was. To keep yourself from thinking about that poor sod, you concentrated on the stacks of reports you had to go over.
By the time you’d worked through half of them, it was an hour till you clocked off and your mind had been imprinted with numbers, it was as though you could only think in numbers.
Taking a much-deserved rest, you reclined your chair, just as your eyes had closed, you heard a ping from your phone. Groaning, you dug your phone from your front pocket.
1 NEW EMAIL: [email protected]
Hi, just finished work on your laptop. You can come and pick it up :).
You opened up the app and quickly typed a response. Omitting a smiley face of course. You, on the other hand, were professional.
When you did go and pick your laptop up, Baekhyun wasn’t there which really should have been a positive point but you’d at the last leg of the work day, you’d kind of wanted to see one happy face. But that was all it was. Stuck on the cover was a neon yellow post, written in surprisingly neat handwriting was a small note telling you that there shouldn’t be any more issues and if there was, you could just email him.
You’d walked out of the IT Office with the intent of throwing the note in the nearest bin, but you’d carried the small note even when you’d reached your apartment. Absentmindedly of course. 
A/N - lol, this was supoosed to be a lot longer than i’ve written but uh…i’m a lazy person so this is it. It was really supposed to be the first chapter to a ‘kimi wa petto’ inspired series. 
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sxdomy · 8 years
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All numbers
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me
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fxikb0ay-blog · 5 years
Text
insure box car insurance quote
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1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i actually think its haley XD if not her then sam2. Are you outgoing or shy? im in between. new people make me shy, but i can be outgoing with people im comfortable with3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? meh4. Are you easy to get along with? i think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i can take care of myself thanks6. What kind of people are you attracted to? the wrong kind7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? who knows8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? nope9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probs emily11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? thank you 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 
Clairvoyant, you used to say, dead bird, how does it feel, i think your nose is bleeding.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i LOVE IT14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? i camped my life away16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? isnt that what a boyfriend is?17. Do you think there is life on other planets? obv.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope19. Do you like bubble baths? nope20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah my neighbor is my grandma, we have tea every morning
21. What are your bad habits? seeing the good in people after they have fucked me up. Always trying to help people.22. Where would you like to travel? all over canada, and greece, and thailand23. Do you have trust issues? yup24. Favorite part of your daily routine? lmao blazing? idk i dont have much of a routine25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach26. What do you do when you wake up? hate my life27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker28. Who are you most comfortable around? sam29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ummm not really, kyle said we could of worked through our shit when we first broke up but i believe we were made to be friends30. Do you ever want to get married? yes i do, i want my papa to walk me down the isle31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? soooo long32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Any and all Avengers. JS33. Spell your name with your chin. hnaqy7l4eyu34. Do you play sports? What sports? LMFAO 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yee37. What do you say during awkward silences? well this is fun38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone willing to go the extra mile just like i am39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? second hand stores40. What do you want to do after high school? die41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes i do42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im v sad and anxiety43. Do you smile at strangers? yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? bottom of the ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my animals46. What are you paranoid about? people hating me and driving with weed47. Have you ever been high? all day er day48. Have you ever been drunk? YUP XD49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not really, i wish people would actually find out about some things...50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black lol51. Ever wished you were someone else? every second52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? lol everything on the outside53. Favourite makeup brand? urban decay54. Favourite store? i dont have one55. Favourite blog? not anymore56. Favourite colour? pink57. Favourite food? sushi58. Last thing you ate? some chippies59. First thing you ate this morning? People eat in the morning????60. Ever won a competition? For what? LOL NO61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope62. Been arrested? For what? nope63. Ever been in love? is this love?64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? jon browne, caught on video. Was not expecting it65. Are you hungry right now? no66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i dont have tumblr friends anymore :’(67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter69. Are you watching tv right now? nope70. Names of your bestfriends?kyle  haley suzie emily71. Craving something? What? ugh72. What colour are your towels? grey72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no real animals74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? too many for a adult75. Favourite animal? tigers76. What colour is your underwear? leopard print XD whoda guess77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ????? something fun79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light blue night with cats 80. What colour pants? i never wear pants when im home81. Favourite tv show? supernatural 82. Favourite movie? fuck too many, something avengers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the turtles maybe87. First person you talked to today? my Dog and yes hes a person88. Last person you talked to today? ive only talked to my dog XD89. Name a person you hate? My uncle90. Name a person you love? my Aunt Mary91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? YEEE 92. In a fight with someone? Like maybe? ask them, theyre the ones sending anon hate93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2 pairs, need more for work94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 595. Last movie you watched? ant man and the wasp96. Favourite actress? honestly no clue. i dont pay attention to that stuff97. Favourite actor? if i have a favourite its not for their acting skills so98. Do you tan a lot? nope and nope99. Have any pets? i have a zoo. And honestly im so proud of my family i wish i could introduce everyone i care for to them100. How are you feeling? honestly tumblr, not great. Ive been down the last couple months and i keep trying to get back where i was mentally but i having a hard time. Many things are getting me down and i want to fix them but somethings are out of my control. And i never taught myself how to cope with that101. Do you type fast? pretty fucking fast i work on the computer A LOT
102. Do you regret anything from your past? I regret little things, like not speaking up and telling people how i feel from the start. Its fucked up a lot in my life. But without going through and doing what i did i wouldnt be the compassionate person i am today.103. Can you spell well? sometimes when i dont overthink it104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? YES AND I WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER106. Ever broken someone’s heart? honestly, i have a couple times. Im not proud of it and i wish it could of been different but life happens107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes i love horseys108. What should you be doing? moving on and letting go109. Is something irritating you right now? yeah thats one way of putting it110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? lmao yes111. Do you have trust issues? so many112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Sam, always sam113. What was your childhood nickname? bird114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes i wanna go back to alberta115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore116. Are you listening to music right now? i was117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? YES119. Favourite book? acheron or Fahrenheit 451120. Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore121. Are you mean? people perceive me as mean sometimes because i like to be honest these days122. Is cheating ever okay? no its not.123. Can you keep white shoes clean? bitch i dont buy white shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hahaha i belive in lust in first site 125. Do you believe in true love? yes126. Are you currently bored? umm not the word i would use so no127. What makes you happy? when my animals are healthy128. Would you change your name? i wanted to when i was young but nah129. What your zodiac sign? gemini130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him to cool his jets. Been there done that. Did not work. We are happy as friends and get a long way better132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? honestly probably emily133. Favourite lyrics right now? i love this question
This is your life, there's no way to run from itThe doubt in your brain, or the pain in your stomachI only have the one complaint at the momentDon't paint me black when I used to be golden. 
 134. Can you count to one million? nope, dont have an attention span that long135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i work for telus136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open for the cats137. How tall are you? 5′5 and a half138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? night142. Favourite month? june143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk chocolate145. Tea or Coffee? tea146. Was today a good day? i just woke up, no147. Mars or Snickers? mars148. What’s your favourite quote? its on my wall
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. 
 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  the books close to me are all notebooks. page 42 is blank
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new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
"new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
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Ok So Last night I got pulled over in my car but I didn't have any insurance so they impounded the car and I was selling it tomorrow so I was wondering if I can get insurance on it and just drive it home and when I get the money for the car I will go look for a new car and transfer the insurance to that one I don't have a hard plate
Health insurance ?
Whats a good and affordable health insurance in nashville tennessee
""I'm 27 and I want to get life insurance, what kind is best?""
I don't really understand what 10;15;20 year term life insurance means, or whole life insurance and what company is best but I think I want to get it while I'm young and ...show more""
Are you in favor of getting rid of health insurance for people with pre-existing conditions?
Are you in favor of getting rid of health insurance for people with pre-existing conditions?
3 car crash.. I am the insurance companies hunt !!?
Hello .. I would like to listen to your opinios regarding this situation that has turned into a nightmare for me !!! I spent few months in Australia.. I have a full driving license.. I was driving on the M4.. I had 2 cars in front of me .. I was in the last car in the row ( third car ) .. the car in the front ( First car ) has braked suddenly .. The car in the middle ( second car ) hit it causing it much damage .. I could not stop at the right time and i hit the middle car afterwards .. Now .. The man in the middle car has lied to his insurance company and said that he stopped at the right time but when i hit him i made his car jump to the front and hit the front car .. I have now 2 insurance companies chasing me for money and treat me as a hunt because i had no third party property damage at the time of the accident .. My understanding was that the greenslip covers these things but actually they dont .. I have received bills from both companies.. 7000 AUD for the front car and 2000 for the middle car .. The details of repairs in the middle car ( that i hit on a very low speed) shows that damage at the rear of the car cost only 427 AUD and i offered them to pay it .. They refused and threatened me to go to court.. The police did not come at the place of the accident .. What do you think i should do?! How strong will be my situation at the court ?!
""I'm about to turn sixteen, how much can i expect to pay for car insurance?""
I have no criminal background, my employer and teachers can give me really good recomenndations, i don't know if anyof that matters though.""
How can I lower my auto insurance?
I am 20 years old. I live in Florida which is by far the WORST states to have auto insurance. I've only been in 2 accidents, both not my fault. One was a small fender bender (which my friend decided to get a PIP claim even though he didnt get hurt so he could snag some money from the government). The other i totaled my car, but that was over 2 YEARS AGO. This is a no fault state which sucks because both of them werent my fault!!!!! Currently my auto insurance is 253 dollars! I'm a college student and i CANNOT afford that, but thats the cheapest one I found. Geico and all the popular ones wont even look at me. And it also adds on the my mom was in an accident (also not at fault) she got hit from behind at a red light and of course they penalized her for that too. Florida is a fraud state, they penalize you for everything when its no fault. Does anyone know how i can lower my auto insurance? It's been 2 years since I totaled my car and almost 2 and a half 3 years from the small fender bender. I also got a small speeding ticket from maybe september or december of last year, but thats it. no other tickets. thanks!""
What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina?
Hi. So I recently moved from New England to North Carolina. I have my 2002 Toyota Camry. It was my Dad's and is still under his name. However, I want to get the title in my name hopefully by early 2014. That means paying for insurance too. I figure I'm going to have to do this soon, might as well do it now and learn more responsibility. My parents are paying for my car and their cars under MetLife. (Yes, the one with the Snoopy logo). They are paying about the same plan they did in Massachusetts. I know North Carolina has more competition in pricing and I want to shop around for a decent plan that gives me what I need but for a better price. My Mom is hysterical and doesn't want me to go anywhere else because she think NC insurance is crap. I like that MetLife gives me what I need but I'm not paying more than I have to in insurance. Sorry Mom. So my question is. What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina? Any suggestions. I would like a company that offers affordable plans but also is a reliable company when I need them. Please NO cheapo discount insurance. Here are my only two liabilities in my driving history: 1. Got into a minor car accident in October of 2011. Just a paint smear with another car. Nobody was hurt and neither car got in worse performance condition. 2. Got a seatbelt violation ticket in January 2013. (It was actually for speeding but the cop went easy probably because he saw I was wearing a suit. I was on my way to a family memorial service near the South Boston area.) Any experiences? I mean, what is my Mom worried about? I never hear in the news about people dying because they have NC car insurance. I know there is cut rate (bad) insurance out there because of competition. But there's got to be something better in NC than paying a Taxachuetts MetLife plan. (Sorry BayStaters, but you know it's true) Thank you!""
How do I get health insurance at 19 years old?
Hi I am a 19 year old college full time female student and I cannot be covered on my mom's health insurance because she is on disability. I don't have the money to just go to a hospital or even the money for gas to go to the free clinics which are 20 miles away or so. My fiance and I are needing health insurance but every time we apply we get turned down. Can anyone help us by telling me some answers?
""Accountant, Insurance, and Cars, please answer?
How do I get an accountant? what things will he need to work with and how do I go about getting one? Liability insurance? How do I get it? And how much will it be for gardening roughly? Van insurance? What details will I need to get this insurance? How do I go about paying tax within a self employed company?
How much would I pay for car insurance on a classic/sport car?
So I've been working on cars for a very long time (5 years), but I've only had my license however for only a year. Lately I've been driving a silly honda accord that I don't quite enjoy. I plan on buying a 280zx datsun, an alfa romeo spider, a triumph, or an mg midget. The price for the car isn't a problem because I fix and restore cars for Shelby cobra and can handle a lot of the issues older cars can give. The problem is insurance. About how much will I be paying monthly for one of the cars listed? ( I am aware I work on cars but have never done insurance) Thanks :)""
What would it cost for insurance for a 16 year old male driving 1980 corrvette?
What would it cost for insurance for a 16 year old male driving 1980 corrvette?
Car insurance?576568687?
ok just wondering, why do you get pulled over for not haveing car insurance if all it does is help you out if you get into a crash, is it actually required to have it while driving? and why....""
Are trucks cheaper to insure for teenagers?
Im looking into getting my first car and i was just wondering if its cheaper to insure a truck then a car. I am 17 years old and live in alberta canada, everyone tells me that they are cheaper to insure but how much cheaper?""
Why are Dental and Vision Insurance separate from regular Health insurance?
Why are Dental and Vision Insurance separate from regular Health insurance? I have regular health insurance one me and my kids. I also have Dental and Vision insurance on just myself, because I can't afford it for my kids. They are the ones who need it most. Why are Dental and Vision not included on Health insurance? I'm not talking about for Braces or colored contacts, but for wellness check-ups, fillings, glasses if needed, etc.""
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
Costco auto insurance?
a friend of mine the other day told me that she pays 90 dollars on her car insurance and she is 16 years old. I just wanted to know if there is a catch because it sounds too good to be true.
Help!!!!!! Mom is sick and has no insurance?
okay so my mother is really sick, she is 53 years old and needs medical attention. However, she doesn't have insurance and she has to pay everytime she goes to the doctor. She has severe anemia and needs to take procrit which is like$600-$700 and she needs to take diabetes, hypertension, thyroid medicine. We live in California.. i don't know what to do,,,someone help!!!! please..""
What is the best car insurance for teenagers who got their first car?
It's an older model car and I'm 19. One of my friends pay I have a friend who has state farm and pays 100 a month. Also believe it or not I have another friend who got insurance under her parents insurance company and she got a discount for it.. She is under Progressive and pay 50 dollars a month. I'm a male and I can only dream of my insurance being $50. That isn't going to happen.
Insurance. What do I need to sell Term Insurance in California?
Insurance. What do I need to sell Term Insurance in California?
Average cost of term life insurance?
20 years male 44 old non smoker. Internet has several resources for free quotes, but none from big, well-know insurance companies. Just from small ones. Please help""
""I'm 57, am learning to drive a car, will need the best and cheapest car insurance, how will I know which is re""
i just want to be able to drive my car, and know there is help there for me, when and if I ever need it, without all the hassles of being stranded. Am in the process of checking out AAMI, RACT. Comprehensive for a first off driver is about $859 a year!! would i be better to Join RACT emergency on road assistance AS WELL AS taking out fire and theft third party insurance separately? I will be about the only driver, with a friend or two......is this the best cover for me? Say...for 1,2 years until I build up a reliable record? enough then to qualify for cheaper comrehensive insurance car cover?How will I know what is really the best for me?""
How much is teen car insurance?
how much would it be for teen car insurance? im a 17 y/o female in Long Island, NY good grades and will be taking the defensive course first. thanks""
Will an Illinois speeding ticket put points on my Michigan license and raise my insurance?
I am from Michigan and got a speeding ticket in Chicago IL. Will this put points on my Michigan license? Will this cause my Allstate insurance rate to go up? Thanks for the help!
""I make $1500 and still live at home, is a $400 car payment plus $200 for car insurance too much ?""
I only pay for my cellphone bill which is $80 a month. I still live at home and i'm 20 years old. I will be making a lot more money within the next year. The car i want is a 2011 gti base model, which is top 10 in consumer mag for most reliable, practical, fuel efficient vehicles for this year. I want to drop $5k down which will be around $350 a month, but the insurance is $190 a month since i'm only 20. I've driven two used cars and they are just a headache and so i want to drive something fun, practical (4dr) and fuel efficient. Is this a good look?""
Auto insurance price? 16 year old.?
I am 16 in June. I own a mustang lx but it is the 2.3l model that my company geico doesn't classify dangerous or a sports car. My dad has wonderful credit. The car and insurance is in his name. So is my car ad tittle and tag. Basically to keep costs down everything is tech his. I will be listed as driving 10-15% of the time As a secondary driver. His driving record is clear and great credit. He has a jeep patriot 2013 and my 1989 lx mustang will be the 2nd car. They got a brand new car and his credit when checked was about the best possible. Forget the numbers but literally the best possible by a few. Never missed payments etc. so about how much a year or every 6 months would my 89 4 banger mustang cost to insure?
How much would it cost to add a Mustang GT under my parents current policy? Would it go up alot?
They currently pay I think its 125-140 dollars monthly for insurance on a 4 door 2003 buick century. So my question is, would it go up alot if I were to buy a GT myself and have them add it to their policy and add myself to it? How much do you think it would go up? BTW i'm talking about a 1987-93 mustang GT. Or chances of a 99. I dont want it to somewhat be fancy or nothing. It could have high mileage. I plan on buying one for around 1-4 grand. Yes the mileage would probably be high, but hell mustangs are cool and it would be my first car :P BTW I'm getting my license when I turn 18. I turn 17 in 2 months. I want to get a job now and start saving up.""
Insurance questions for a minor?
I'm about to have a son, I'm 17 I'm on my dads insurance my boyfriend is 20 he's on his parents insurance. Who's insurance does my son go on, or does he go on medicaid? If you just want to insult me for being a young mom keep it to yourself it doesn't hurt my feelings and you're wasting my time.""
How can I sort out this car insurance issue in the UK?
I've been living in the UK doing some studies for 3 years. When I came to the UK, I didn't know how to drive a car. Also, I found it difficult to pass the driving test in the UK and afford private driving lessons. Few months ago, I went for a 3-month holiday in my original country, Egypt. There, learning how to drive is much easier and less expensive. Besides, issuing a driving license is not so difficult as the theoretical and practical tests are not so complicated. Therefore, I decided to learn and get a national license. Based on this license, I could issue an international one from Cairo that allowed me to drive in some countries one of which is the UK. However, when I returned to the UK and decided to by car, I found a proper one for 550. I decided to buy it, but I was asked to go online to get a quote from a car insurance company. I spent the whole night trying all the websites that my friends told me about. The shocking fact is that many of them refused to give me a quote because I hold an international license, not a UK one. Even those websites which accepted that requested a huge amount of money (i.e. not less than 1, 200-1, 600) which is much higher than the price of the car itself. I wonder if there's a way to sort this out or if there's any alternative solution that saves money for me. I don't want to go through any further driving tests in the UK. Also, I don't want to provide wrong data (e.g. having a full-UK license). Your suggestions are highly valued (serious answers please as I really feel down!). Thanks so much in advance!""
How do you go to the doctor if you do not have health insurance?
I am working but I do not have Health Insurance. How do you go and where do you go to the doctor if you do not have health insurance?
How much would my car insurance be?(State farm Insurance)?
I'm a teen driver, and ill be 16 years old when i get my license. i'm a 3.0 + gpa or higher student and have had no issues with the law.i drive a 1997 mazda protege with a clean title (idk if that helps) I live in Portland,Oregon Car is 1997""
Can I add my girlfriend to my life insurance?
Can I add my girlfriend to my life insurance?
""I'm being low balled by an insurance claims adjuster for damage to my car, now what?
I had a claim against a guys insurance company for damage he caused. They came out today and did an evaluation and now the insurance estimator is saying that the vehicle needs to be totaled and that I will be offered some low ball figure because my car has prior damage which was only cosmetic and minor nothing structural at all. I know that the vehicle will be worth more than they are going to offer. But I just want a fair price for the car. They suggested that it might take some back and forth negotiations and I need to know how to prepare for that and succeed at getting something fair? Are there any angles or cards that I can play that should give me some leverage against their claims adjuster? Your help is appreciated and thank you for your answer!
I want an insurance quote?
I want to the difference in insurance between a 93 v6 Camaro and a 93 Camaro Z28
How can I get heath insurance?
Im 21 college student and just got layed off I havent had health insurance for like 3 years and I need to go to a doctor like a gyno anywayz im going to the social services office to see if I can get like a low cost health insurance from the state or something I live in ct... but if they don't help me how much health insurance is a month? I can't afford more then 50 dollars a month I just got layeoff and I don't like getting help from the state but I really need to see a doctor
How much would insurance cost for a 2011 mustang v6?
I am 18 years old, I currently have an 03 Tacoma 4 door Prerunner and my current insurance rate is around $210 a month. I live in Louisiana, I average around a 3.0 GPA and I have saved up and I am really close to owning a 2011 mustang and I was curious if someone could give me an estimate on around how much the insurance might cost. Thanks""
Moped/Scooter insurance???
Hi everyone. How much would it cost for me to be insured on this bike? http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/125cc-125-cc-Scooter-Moped-Sport-Learner-Legal_W0QQitemZ200232549719QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item200232549719&_trkparms=39%3A1|65%3A7&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14.l1308 I am 19 years old and have a provisional driving licence. (I'm just using that bike as an example but that is the size engine I want as I'm going to be traveling quite far to work and is working out a fortune for bus fair). I'm new to this so if you need more information about me or anything else please say. Thanks xx
""Will the health insurance companies that we have continue to raise their prices 200-2,000/year? How can-?
businesses pay for this except to basically drop coverage or take it all out of your salary and raises? Our raises are already frozen at 2% due to the economy.
How can insurance companies find out if you have a pre-existing condition??
I have heard people mention the MIB as a source, but where do they get their info? I thought medical records were strictly private, how do they find out your past medical info? Ty!""
Do Americans want Gov't run healthcare like medicaid and medicare or do they want affordable health insurance?
Do Americans want Gov't run healthcare like medicaid and medicare or do they want affordable health insurance?
Motorcycle insurance is so expensive?
Basically I'll be doing my cbt test this Wednesday so I can ride my 125cc supermoto which I use for dirt biking. Checked insurance on my Yamaha WR125X and it's 1400 for comprehensive, da fk is this? After seeing that I was physically sick. So I thought I'll just check on the most cheapest moped and it's 700 which is still expensive.. How the fk do these kids I see with mini coopers afford insurance and all I wAnt is to ride a small 2 wheel sht face. I'm 18, 19 this march, work full time. Can I find it any cheaper anywhere? Should I go for third party insurance? I just hate my life""
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
new hampshire unemployment insurance employers
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-do-i-get-medical-insurance-timothy-stevens/"
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tripping-on-assid · 6 years
Text
4218
923pm
It’s been a while. So for that, there is quite a lot to catch up on. However, like always, I’ll just write until I don’t want to anymore. Don’t care for spelling, grammar, correct sentence phrasing, any of that, just my thoughts.
I want to start off by saying that while im writing this I took about half/quarter of a tab about 45 min ago. Just for the concentration. Also, so I could probably get super intense and “deep” with what I write. Im also listening to Periphery in the background and it’s nice. The amount of acid I took wasnt much...at most it was 50ugs. I used the rest of it from microdosing. Hell, I might not even feel it since I microdosed today lmao. Nonetheless, placebo never hurt anybody right? lol. And if the acid doesnt work I got some coffee
Since I last posted, back in November, shit went FUCKING DOWNNN. Since November, Royce and my mom split, we got a new house, quit my job at panera and I failed 3/4ths of my classes that semester. Royce left because of some selfish reason of how it was “god’s plan” for him to turn over houses, and my mom didnt want to deal with that so she left his ass. I got pretty fucking sad over failing my classes, as you could see I was ranting and raving how much I despised college back in November but reality got kicked into gear when I failed. Kinda sucks. My mindset was ridiculous back then, and it still is now, however back then, it was intimately superficial. However, the deeper I got with philosophy and spirituality and all that shit, I kinda wanted to step up my game. 
Weird shit can happen to you, and weird thoughts come into play when you’re naive. And like, Im still 19. Im not granted with all this wisdom but I respect and value education. Knowledge. Discomfort. You see, how amazing would it be to just, trip on shrooms or L every few weeks, thinking about your life and thinking about all the crazy questions in life and actually have it set. How amazing would it be to smoke weed and do the same thing, everyday? Seems great, however, that isnt the best way to live. I lived it and honestly im still kinda living it. I quit working so the only obligation really I have is school and thats every other day. Living thankfully from my tax return and financial aid reimbursement. But even that is spent on shit like weed, which I blow through pretty quick. 
I italicized the word discomfort from the last paragraph because a lot of my role models talk about that, PsychedSubstance, and especially Jordan Peterson have spread that message. And like, that message is honestly everywhere “no pain, no gain” “smooth sails dont make good sailors(something like that)”, I mean, it’s everywhere. But, I took a good look into it and kinda really get the meaning of it. That’s what I like to do, I like to grab ideas by the crouch and examine tf outta them. Nonetheless, the discomfort idea is pretty solid. Jordan Peterson elaborates on the synonym of suffering though.
+Trip report: I think I kinda am feeling it, very slight visual distortions and lighting intensity. 
Anyways! Thats another thing Id like to talk about, psychedelics. I mean, when do i not, but, I told myself and my girlfriend (we’re still together and we’re going pretty good! In fact we’ve gotten much much closer since November) that I would  take a break from psychedelics after I had a 5g shroom trip that was wayyyy too intense for me. I said I wouldn’t do hallucinogens until april 8th, and guess what? I didnt fall through. Because guess what? It isnt april 8th yet. In fact I’ve microdosed twice. Sooooo, I broke that promise. And that brings in a problem, who do i go to when I cant tell my girlfriend stuff? Why cant i?  Why are there some things that I should keep private and why am i keeping this a secret? I dont know but it feels much better to type this out than to live without it being somewhere.   So youre probably thinking how I couldnt keep my word, well let me tell you a story and end with a self analysis.
So about a week ago I got back into town from visiting the day with my grandmother/aunt/cousin/mother for my grandmother’s birthday bash. I was pretty bummed I had to go (even though i had a pretty good time there, we played scategories, it was fun) because i was missing emo night in daytona! Well, I got back into town enough to see half of it and my friend Mashal ( i bought L off of him before, me and him are pretty good acquaintances) asked me if i wanted a tab. I was like “aw hell yeah but I dont have any $” and he was like “its fine bro here you go enjoy” 
So right when i got it i was ecstatic. It’s like i couldnt wait until april 8th. It was in my hand, I couldve tripped that night, but i knew i had a promise to keep. A promise id eventually break but, it gave me so much more passion in life. The hobby of reading about trip reports, about being able to trip again, it was just. So.Fucking.Interesting. like honestly, tripping is so profound. I mean hell, Im on a little bit of acid rn. 
And that leads me to the analysis and honestly I dont know if thats good or bad. I dont know what to think about that. Because i know my attitude shifted considerably from no desire to trip to wanting to trip hella bad. Getting back into trip reports, reading about different combos with weed and other substances. I missed it. And honestly, that kind of worries me a bit. Because my passion is what? Learning about and doing psychedelics? 
It’s so weird because I tripped a lot last winter, once every few weeks, if not every one to two weeks. And even though it was so profound, I got HPPD. And i think that really fucked with my brain. Theres this fog i get in my head, foggy/cloudy mindset. Where focusing, thinking, talking, doing stuff is a bit more...complex than it is usually. I think i suffered a bit of disassociation too. I would constantly think I wasnt myself, that maybe I was just some vessel, or some robot just doing mundane tasks. It was the weirdest feeling ever. However, I was going through a lot like...I was pretty fucking sad. So HPPD with depression wasnt the best. I was sad I was moving, I was sad my parents broke up, and I was especially sad over failing my classes, and...i also got into two car crashes, both within a month. So, I felt like doodoo. But which came first? the chicken or the egg? Did i get sad because of the psychedlics and then had a crash or did i have a crash and then get super sad? either way, i was a mess. And leaving psychedelics out  was uncomfortable because I remember doing shrooms once because I  had problems to fix. But my mood and my mind couldnt handle psychedelics. And I dismissed them, but after Mashal gave me that tab, I felt the same passion I had last winter over psychedelics again. And I was just so happy that I would trip again soon. 
So that happened. In fact, April 7th is when im planning on tripping, Kyle (ex panera employee also Journeys best friend...crazy!) is planning on coming over to journeys and we gonna trip, smoke weed, and chill and I told him i wanted to go see nature and stuff. Im also on a break from weed so when I do smoke on saturday, my tolerance will be 0 and I will have an intense af experience. Im ready. 
Also, this is my like, 3rd night at my mom’s house, and 1st night with the computer back. So maybe ill hit you guys up later with maybe something more thought out, but this is my entry! till next time
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