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#GOD I DONT KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN
zorkaya-moved · 3 months
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"My fellow ball and chain, has Diamond decided to grant me the privilege of protection? What an hon-or~ I'll be sure to cherish it well."
Aventurine chuckles, twirling a coin between his fingers deftly. The irony isn't lost on him. To be sent to protect someone who's life was never fated to linger long. Perhaps it was a reminder of his place, that he wasn't even allowed the right to choose to die. Not without the IPC's watchful gaze burned onto his skin.
Such things had long become the norm. There was not much that could surprise the Stoneheart anymore.
At the very least, he could have his thrill. Turning nickel into gold.
The sound a coin being flipped in the air rings throughout the spacious room, the gambler catching it with a lack-a-daisical grin.
"So, what will it be? Heads, or tails?"
@celestial-narwhal
Diamond wishes to find one who can use the weapon correctly, the loyalty tested and the Emanator of Origin satisfied. The curse of the Apostle hangs over the head of Diamond, allowing the beast to lurk within the Stonehearts' ranks, protecting them from... From what? Ah, but is it ruly protection when there will be an order coming from the higher gemstone, telling the Stoneheart to end the life of their own bodyguard. It does not seem like Aventurine has received that order yet, it sounds more sadistic now. When will the order be issued? There are countless possibilities, Diamond wishes to use the blood of the silverette as a way to prove sincerity behind Stonehearts' loyalty. Or is it a simple torture? Attempt to find how each person will attempt to kill her, to end her, to bring her close but not enough to [salvation].
It should be considered a joke, the way her face is too pretty to be one of a bodyguard. The golden eyes, the fluffy white eyelashes, the lips colored in the prettiest shade of red, her silver hair - long and wavy - is in a high ponytail as the black suit covers her whole body but does not hide the curves and the beauty that may be hiding beneath. It's a lie, but it's such a beautiful lie. Some of the Stonehearts called her a joke, feeling insulted at the prospect of being protected by someone who seemed more like a beauty than the beast. But it does not matter, she only studies her current [liege] (toy) that Diamond allowed her to play with.
But this one... Oh, he is different. He and Topaz were unique on their own. She wants to play with this one for a bit longer. And yet, the play includes her keeping the controlled and calm appearance. She is an actor, she must put on the perfect mask to hide away the millennia of indulgence, gamble, and survival. She was once an empress, a saint, a sinner, a witch, a [Herrscher] (Sovereign). She is not a human, the Apostle of Origin hides within the lower ranks to learn how each person may use power presented to them. So how will this man spill the blood of a sacrificial beast? Or will he not be asked to end her life? Diamond might have grown tired of those attempts.
Aventurine is a man of class, she can see it, but she also knows the eyes of a survivor when she meets them. She taught countless young men and women who survived tragedies, broken by the cruelty of the world and repressed by authorities. Then again, he is still his own person, but she knows all too well how his type acts and how this indulgence in adrenaline rushes will act up in their exchange. This job will finally be interesting, she thinks to herself, as her eyes watch the coin in his hands. What deft fingers, she hopes he won't use them to wrap around her neck. She won't let any fingers reach for her neck. A knife will do, but nothing wrapped.
Her expression is one of impassiveness, but it only makes her look more beautiful. An ice-cold maiden clad in black and white, monochrome tones bring attention to the ichor in her eyes and to the red of her lips. It's all perfectly captured, but she remains immoving with her hands hidden behind her back.
Do you truly want an answer, child of man? Don't you seek salvation? Wil diamond shackles ask you to baptize yourself in the blood of a saintly sinner like myself? I wonder.
She will play the antithesis to his character. Time will tell when she will need to show more of her fangs for the sake of fun. Amusement is flourishing in her chest but she remains emotionless, calm and collected. The picture of professionalism. If only he knew what was going inside her head.
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"As my liege, you should not concern yourself with my opinion," she tells him calmly, looking up from his hands to his face. He is handsome, she will give him that. Any and all expressions he can show her will be worth it, worth this engagement. She wants to have fun before the clocks tick and before the script of Destiny's Slave will ask for her to step forward on the path of Akivili. But right now, Aventurine is the one who has this fake leash that Diamond has given him without any explanations. How cruel of Diamond, but how expected of IPC. She finds Aventurine's situation a disgusting showcase of human nature, the one she witnessed before. He is a person, so she wants to know what a [person] behind this title will do with the power once he is aware of what he holds. "But if you wish for my answer, it would be heads. At the end, you were able to turn the coin in your hand."
It was easy for her eyes and mind to calculate the correctness of the fall. Physics and analysis, this is a child's play for someone who is not a human and who has such striking golden eyes. Will he be satisfied with it? Or will he want to play more? It makes her wonder. How far can her indifference drive him to indulge her? Oh, it will be a glorious time. For others, it may be a headache, but the Apostle is a cruel and vicious woman inside.
"Mr. Aventurine, your schedule requires us to leave in an hour," her voice is melodic, far too melodic fo a bodyguard. A siren, certainly, she is one to fool the sailors. "Moving forward, you may consider me your shadow, but if there is anything you desire: do not hesitate to order me. I am no longer under Diamond's order, but yours. Use me as you wish."
What wishes and orders will he give? A man with a history like his. She is curious.
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shepscapades · 1 month
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GLAD EVERYONE ENJOYED THE ANDROID INFO UPDATE ABOUT INTERFACING DFGJNDGKGNMXGHNCBNM
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bakudekublogblog · 4 months
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god thinking about katsuki murmuring "gotta win... right izuku?" right before charging right into his death is so so so fucking batshit insane of a thing to include. like he's yearning for him. like not only is he speaking as if izuku is still at his side, but he still remembers what izuku said to him all those months ago and is fighting to live up to the version of himself izuku admired. and then he goes "tell me.... izuku.... can i still reach you" CAN I STILL REACH YOU LITERALLY LONGING FOR HIM, TELL ME, ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO, JUST TELL ME IF I CAN REACH YOU FUCKING I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE IT'S PEAK PINING TRAGIC ROMANCE
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luck-of-the-drawings · 9 months
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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pansyfemme · 10 days
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im. 💖
#having. a good night#i’m gonna. crash but. having. good converstions#feeling warm and fuzzy and comfortable#im.#i feel silly but im like. im falling in love i thinkkjjjjjjjjjj its great its wonderful#i have not felt this good and this pretty in a long time like im just. life is swell#im . tired and i know im doing the classic puppy love just. head over heels stuff thats known for in new and passionate relationships but it#feels so good and i like him so much and i just feel. real#i feel seen and understood and . loved its. huh its. yeah#but brain real fuzzy and warm. im just. i found someone so. just. so perfect for me its like. im :)#he treats me. really well and he’s so amazing and so fucking insanely talented at art and animation and im likeeee all dizzy and feeling#just . safe and comfortable like. i just feel. safe and its. not something i feel a lot#and like. its funny bc like theres a few irls who follow here who know both him and me and its like. haha you guys get the inside scoop on#just how infatuated we are with eachother like. surprise . but yknow.#its like. hhh. its just. im just. its nice#echo#like. we all know im well aware that im pretty as it is but he just makes me feel. so pretty like just. gorgeous#and i mean he’s like . woah. like i know you guys dont know what he looks like besides my paintings but the paintings do not do him justice!#he’s got this like. great smile and he’s always laughing and giggling and this really pretty long hair i love and its like… 💖💖💖#like. he’s. very my type. i have a weakness for pretty guys and he’s just. so prettyyyyy and im :)#im sorry to my irls who see me just. gushing about him like. idk. im not sure if anyone saw it coming but i think it. makes sense. it makes#a lot of sense. and we’re. cute together. got that. opposing aesthetics stuff. but it’s. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#im just. oh i think im talking until the tags run out now i think so uh huh#yeah it’s . embarassing honestly to be. this into someone but it just. feels. good and natural and it makes sense like i said#i just. hm . im both so nervous around him and not nervous at all its. nice#and like. i just want to. be with him all of the time ever and it’s. probably whats gonna happen next semester#im just totally infatuated and he is. with me as well and it’s. really cool to be just. mutually losing it#like half of our calls involve us hiding our heads in our hands because its real nervous boy4nervous boy shit like. very much so#i often have to put my phone down and just. close my eyes and lie in the dark and go. oh my god oh my god oh my god#its just surreal to like someone so hard for so long and then a month after classes end and it’s real. its normal its happening
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spaciebabie · 3 months
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shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name
#bruh lmao#so awkward. say something you dingus lol#ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already#gyatt#spacie spoinks#literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like#heres the thing#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate#im like a vampire like that#and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now#like dude sdkfjshlkdfj#im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic)#am i gonna hafta say something. lol#probably#''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.''#cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭#also like. this person has been staring at me lol#which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful#for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!!#its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks#im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin#i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs#i dont wanna put her on the spot#the only time i see her is when im in class#and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd
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eerna · 2 years
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gonna punch a wall fr the only thing Pyrrha wanted was for Cam Pal and Nona to survive. she didn’t give a single fuck about the war or the universe she just wanted to take the 3 of them and teach them how to farm on a tiny safe planet far far away. and now everyone is gone again. she begged Cam and Pal not to go but failed and she will never see them again. Nona died in her arms. I’m punching a wall
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frostbite-the-bat · 2 months
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talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also
about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.
and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.
i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.
and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!
SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me
but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!
but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.
so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you
#anyways omg god forbid ppl are cog kissers on the robot kissing website /silly#but like!! tt/r may not be for everyone and tt/cc may not be for everyone and THATS OK!! ur not gonna like everything!!#like i accepted tt/r isnt for me but its mostly bc they dont show cog health specifically and i struggle with these things but !! i#heard they are updating that so i might be able to play without getting bored / frustrated again ^^ i havent played properly in yeaaaars#i will still prefer clash bc fixation and?? i LIKE ROBOBTS....!#but tewtow is tewtow its all swag. the least toony thing u can do is bully someone for Liking Robobt. be niceys#like ya i admit im not perfect i also dont like people andhave so much one sided beef and i am sensitive to so many things and i complain#in private but at the end of the day its to make myself feel better and i KNOW to not engage and look away and work on feeling better#bc this stuff does Heehoo upset me bc Mental Health Probulem. but i know everyone should and can do their own thing and have fun#i may complain about (redacted ship) all the time and i dont get it at all but...? bro... just have fun... be free. im not here to stop you#im just not gonna interact as i should. good for both of us! joyous world! happy that ur happy!!!!#why complain abt ppl just Enjoying Cogs like that though................................................ do you not like fun#this is not at anyone specific#my friend did show me tags of a post anonymously#and i vague a person whos name i dont know ingame like A YEAR AGO#and a convo what happened in a server a while back. but its not anyone specific i just wanted to like. speak my thoughts#lets be frense... and if not thats okay lets not argue either then we all stay in our lanes
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cherryxblossxms · 8 months
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It is PURELY because he's involved so much in the story for once, but I'm playing the Bakerlon event in Tears of Themis and having so many thoughts about William Lewis. So help me god.
[Minors do NOT interact!!!!! Afab reader]
He's so dumb when he interacts with people. Like I'm sure he makes a good lawyer. But for anywhere else thats not in the courtroom, he's so oblivious and arrogant when he talks to people normally lmao. He'd make for good hate fuck material, or at least a very very tense session. 👀
I'm just imagining the arguing gets to an all time high outside of the courtroom, until you just have to kiss him to shut him up. Despite his confident appearance in his job, he's a total wet paper towel otherwise, and especially once you take the initiative, he's practically melting in your arms. It's almost hilarious how quickly he gets hard, and he's red from the tip of his ears down to his neck.
If you really want to torture him, you just have to grind your thigh against his crotch or maybe ride his thigh, or both, and he's a breathy, whimpering mess. It's really no surprise when he cums in mere minutes, making a giant wet stain in his pants. He's already overstimulated and you've barely touched him. That overconfident attitude he has is completely gone by now.
Luckily, he's a young, spry man, and he's hard again within minutes. Any thoughts he was capable of before, are finished by the time you're sitting on his cock. His sanity is gone as you ride him like a toy, all he can do is babble about how good you feel, how sensitive he is, how he's already going to cum again.
Just like usual, he's nonstop talking, begging you— for what, he doesn't know. He's not even sure himself if he's begging to cum, or begging you to stop, his whole body trembling from how sensitive he's become. You might have to gag him to shut him up, but he's completely pliant under your touch.
And when you cum while riding him, he's thanking you endlessly. Even if he hasn't cum yet— which you're honestly not sure how he didn't explode early on or now while your cunt is milking him— and even if you're not planning to let him cum again and his cock is twitching like mad, he's still thanking you. But if you decide to have mercy on him and either ride him to completion or jerk him off afterwards, he gives out the loudest, most depraved moan you've ever heard before cumming buckets.
It's almost comedic how quickly he'll try to scramble out of there, not that his knees are properly working or that he's worked out how to cover up his cum stain from earlier. He'll try to act like he wasn't affected, but truly, the whole experience has put your opinions of each other into new light. Don't be surprised if he comes knocking at your door in search of a little more from you.
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pcktknife · 2 years
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thinking xinyans spikes make her look unappealing........
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py6oto · 8 months
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birth
a poem
it's my day
pyto birth!
i am older now!!!!
Splendid.
2023.10.13
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hecate-valentine · 9 months
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theloveinc · 1 year
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Shinsou needs you to look at him so bad but also can't keep eye contact with you at all
Whore. Vying for your attention like a child only not being able to handle it cuz he's really just a baby deep down.
And you already know he can give the most dangerous pair of bedroom eyes if he really wants to, just has never liked someone as much as he likes you to actually want to use them seriously.
I feel like it's funny because, before you start dating, you think the reason he can't look you in the eye is just because he's aloof and doesn't care, but after you start, it's frustrating because it's so intimate and lovely and he still can't bring himself to do it! Despite always needing to be in your vicinity or up in your business, turning away the second you acknowledge him.
Getting-all-flustered-ass when you pay attention to him like he's not staring/glaring down everyone else... Yes, I would be kinda Pissed.
(It's really just because he's shy. Being all sexy and intimidating to keep people from thinking they can get all close to him.
The first time you go to the club together as a couple, you catch him giving sexy eyes to a guy chatting him up, and the second you walk over to confront him about it, he's melting under your gaze and ignoring the other person altogether... embarrassed and squirmy at the thought of you being mad at him but needing you to know it's just because he loves you so.
He just can't help it!!! And now the stranger is mad that you got him so easily... bamboozled.)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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violasmirabiles · 10 days
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apartment update: still no pictures cos everythings still Ass but that old desk of my sister in laws thats very nice and all but kind of in the way is gonna go to my old room in my parents house. and in its place im gonna get my old bookshelf from my old room. in my parents house
#its this like almost 20-year-old lundia that i think could do with an extra shelf piece#cos when it was first assebled i had this bigass cd/cassette player with big separate speakers#and theres this huge space to accommodate it all. i havent had that system in Years and now theres tons of empty air in there#where a Lot more books could fit#sure my record collections there but again i dont have a player. but i do have books. and they COULD fit that goddamn lundia#IF i only had EVEN THAT ONE extra shelf piece.#i do need to make an inventory of what books from that old shelf simply need to Go.#like for example i do Not need those hardcover finnish harry potter books#and i need to make a decision about the finnish hardcovers of dark towers 3 and 4#on the one hand story good on the other hand the translation makes me want to either kill myself or just. make a better translation#like the translations bad in ways that cant all be explained by sking being Like That#much like that shining translation i consulted for the finnish version of that gbu x shining fic. god that sucked ASS#i dont know if it was the same translator. but man. its like hey man do you like. Understand what youre reading. is this a first draft#anyway. the parents are going to the summer cottage tomorrow so the desk/lundia exchange wont happen till sometime next week#also also next week my brother and sister in law are coming over for tea (i need him to put up my curtains im too 160cm for that 😔)#and! im gonna get a pakig tomorrow. with a vacuum cleaner in it#home
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zymstarz · 21 days
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
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#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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