#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[girlnextmorgue]

How the Creeps React to a Newbie

NOTICE: This post is a reupload from my old Creepypasta fanfiction blog (now my main blog). If you've seen it before, that's probably because it was posted there first! I pinky promise that I'm not stealing anything, simply moving my old work here for organization purposes.

ORIGINALLY POSTED 8/30/21

-

BG anon asked: Hi hi!! I came across your blog not too long ago and absolutely fell in love with your mansion hcs and creeps rooms hcs! Could I request some hcs of the reader having just joined the mansion, like how would different creeps react to them, who would hang out with them etc if thats not too much? Thanks, love you! -BG anon 🌸

hello bg anon!! thank u so much, im so glad you like my hcs even though they can be kind of incoherent. this is gonna be formatted kind of differently than my usual bullet point hcs, so i hope that you dont mind that too much!! i have a lot of ideas for this concept omg.. okay, i hope you enjoy these!!

––––––––

Generally, the Creeps are all gonna be a bit hesitant to accept a newcomer. Additions to the Slender Mansion are super rare; Slender has tons of proxies and connections, but only the people that he trusts the most are allowed into the mansion despite it being a sort of safe haven. Everyone is going to be a bit put off by you joining the rag tag crew that lives there, but their reactions are all different.

Nina is the most outgoing of the group living in the mansion, so she's bound to be one of the first people to talk to you. She's also probably going to be the first person that's nice to you. Nina is a people person, and she has a lot to say, so even if you're pretty quiet she talks enough for the both of you! She's also the person that will show you around and introduce you to everyone, even if the rest of her housemates aren't particularly happy about it.

LJ would also be pretty quick to speak to you, if he's even present at the mansion when you arrive. Yes, the cliche candy offer is something he does in my book. If you take it, you'll probably end up in the infirmary with EJ. This is probably one of the best ways to get to talking with EJ, since it's kind of hard to catch him and he isn't much for conversation anyway. If you don't take the candy, then don't worry about that, because there are more ways to meet EJ than getting really sick.

Nina would most definitely introduce you to Jane and Clockwork, while simultaneously inviting you along to some sort of hangout, whether it be a sleepover or a killing spree (though Jane would be hesitant to participate in the latter). Natalie is relatively easygoing, so she'd be quick to start a conversation with you about whatever interests the two of you might share. She's kind of a jack of all trades in my mind, so if you have a hobby then she's probably at least tried it once. Jane is a little harder to talk to. She's a colder person and she isn't quick to trust, but if you end up befriending Nina and Natalie then she starts to warm up to you.

Jane is also good friends with EJ, so if you catch the two having a conversation and are comfortable enough to try to worm your way in, you've earned yourself an additional acquaintance.

Toby is the type to pull some sort of sadistic prank on you on your first night at the mansion. If you react with anger or disgust (depending on what he does), then he'll continue to prank the living shit out of you and try to make your life a living hell until you report to Slenderman about it. Doing that basically guarantees you're on Toby's shit list, even if he can't do anything about it because Slender would kill him, and even if it was kind of his own fault that he ended up getting in trouble. If you're chill about the prank then yeah, Toby will end up with at least some interest in you. He'd probably tell BEN and Jeff about it, and maybe he'd even invite you to hang out with the trio (much to the chagrin of Jane).

The aforementioned pair of idiots were more likely than not gaming on the couch when you entered the mansion and probably didn't pay much attention to your introduction, but that was also probably because Nina was the one doing it. If you do end up hanging out with Jeff and BEN (either through Toby or through being paired up with them for a mission or for chores), you'll have to prove you're worthy of being graced by the presence of the famous Jeff the Killer and his best bud BEN_Drowned. This would either be through video games or through some other form of a challenge, so pick your poison!

Brian is a very easy person to talk to. You probably ended up meeting him in the kitchen or something, I can see him hanging out at the counter with a book in his hand or something. He might have sparked a conversation with a joke, maybe about whatever prank Toby managed to pull on you, and it's just so easy to be friends with the dude. He gets along with mostly everyone, and it's very rare that he meets someone he doesn't like, so yeah. He's probably one of the nicest people in the mansion.

Befriending Tim is a bit of a harder task. Tim is most definitely put in charge of giving you a legitimate tour of the mansion (Nina can't really be trusted), but if he finds you obnoxious or annoying he will not like you. Even Jane calls him a tightass, and she's another person that has zero patience for bullshit. If you do end up managing to get on his good side, congratulations! Please tell me how the fuck you managed to do that! It's especially surprising if you've gotten close with Toby & company, because Tim has no tolerance for that type of behavior.

Liu is a very introverted person, so he's a bit hard to get around to talking to. Conversations with people he doesn't know tend to make him anxious, so you'll probably need to butt in when he's talking to Natalie, Jane, or EJ. Once you get into that conversation and he finds that he's comfortable around you, there is no stopping him from talking. It's definitely refreshing to have a relatively normal conversation about books he's read or the plants that he's taking care of compared to the chaos of the rest of the mansion.

Helen is probably one of the hardest people to get close to. He only really talks to Liu, and that's when he isn't off somewhere drawing or painting. Nina didn't even get to introduce you to each other because he wasn't anywhere to be found. You'd probably have to end up talking to him yourself. It's not that conversation makes him uncomfortable, he just finds everyone annoying at the beginning. If you bug him enough he'll definitely warm up to you, since he's the type that waits for people to come to him, even if he wants to pretend he hates everyone.

[yakocchi]

My Darling’s the Strongest (Scenario Event) // Leonardo

(graphic is separate from the event)

me: wow i wonder what cool and amazing new content there will be for white day week cybird: we heard from no one that u like reprints that only have new ranking avatars. so heres another reprint that only has new ranking avatars me:

…….cybird it’s ok to not make every event have ranking cards. yea i know they make gangbusters versus events without cards, but if it results in less new scenario events overall… that’s not great

anyway, it’s been like 4 months since a new Count scenario event has been released (which is a better track record than several charas) and i wanted to do a longer string of text to test out a keyboard i ordered. yea im very fickle with my output but ehehe what’s new i archive leo events sometimes, so i decided to dredge one up to translate. i actually wanted to do vlad’s first post-main-route event as a sort of celebration for when it would inevitably happen, but then said scenario event appeared and it ended up being an AU. why does this game like AUs so much? the canon universe already pretty farfetched… u literally have dracula and ure telling me u would rather put him in a situation where he would not be dracula. cowards

This event (first released ~July 2020) was made for the 3rd Anniversary of JP Ikevam later that month. The event was split into two parts, where iirc the first part contained the Count, Arthur, and Mozart. Leo was in the second part with Napo and Isaac.

Spoilers under the cut!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*) image-heavy!!

…

The master of the manse, from time to time, starts his conversations with the most unexpected topics. One of those “times”, was today.

...

[Count]: “—So, I’d like the two of you to go out for the Best Couples’ Contest.” [Leonardo & Kara]: “Huh…?” As soon as we had excused ourselves into his quarters, the Count had said something completely unexpected. Leonardo and I had responded with a confused noise spilling out of our lips. (The “Best Couples’ Contest” is that event where they pick the best couple in Paris, right?) (I wonder why he suddenly decided to say he wants us to go.) Even as the two of us stood bewildered in front of him, the Count’s smile remained, untarnished. Leonardo then heaved a massive sigh…

[Leonardo]: “Now, I’m used to you telling me crazy things—" [Leonardo]: “But at the very least, could you give us the entire story, O’ great Count?” The Count began to speak once more—

[Count]: “Well—” [Count]: “Last night, I had visited an acquaintance upon them telling me that they had gotten their hands on some good wine.” [Count]: “At one point, they informed me that they were going to hold a contest to determine the best couple.” [Count]: “Then, they asked me if I was acquainted with any prospective couples for it.” Leonardo then took over from Count as if he had read this story before.

[Leonardo]: “Then, in your drunken state you selfishly entered me and the little sweetheart to the contest, did you?” (And that means… the Count thinks me and Leonardo would have a chance?)

The Count responded to Leonardo’s summation of the events with apparent amusement. [Count]: “I do believe I wasn’t drunk at the time, I’ll have you know?” [Leonardo]: “That’s even worse, then.”

[Count]: “Oh my, Leonardo. Is it really all right for you to say that?” [Leonardo]: “Hah?” [Kara]: “gh-…” The Count had turned in my direction— and so Leonardo, as if in pursuit of the gentleman, then turned to face me as well. Their gazes seemed to urge me to confess my true feelings on the matter, and I earnestly comply.

[Kara]: “Ah-, I… I just thought it sounded fun.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I’d be really happy if everyone acknowledged me and Leonardo as the best couple.” (Even though I’d be nervous to stand in front of so many people,) (I’d be able to boast that such a wonderful person is my lover…) (And I also think it’d be a good opportunity to see if I’m able to become a suitable woman for Leonardo.)

[Leonardo]: “…” A surprised expression appeared on Leonardo’s face for a moment, before it was replaced with a smile…

[Leonardo]: “Shall we partake?” [Kara]: “Huh? Is it okay?” I had blurted out my question, and Leonardo gently patted my head. [Leonardo]: “This situation’s turned into nothing but a good opportunity, so we might as well have some fun and aim to win this thing, yeah?” [Kara]: “gh- Okay…!” Glad that Leonardo was also interested, my voice naturally gained a bounce to it.

[Kara]: “But, I wonder how they’re going to determine the best couple?” Muttering this, the Count then handed me the invitation, which had a general outline of the event written inside. Promptly opening it, written was—

(The contest is to be a few days from now, and I can look forward to what we’ll be tested on… on the day itself?) The portion I wanted to know about most of all hadn’t been written, and I internally slumped my shoulders.   The invitation concluded with a single line— “The key to victory is to have a mind and soul of love towards one another,” (I guess the ‘mind and soul of love’ is supposed to be a hint, but…) [Kara]: “Hmm… With just this, I don’t know what the contest could be about, at all.” [Leonardo]: “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.” (Huh?) Leonardo brought his face up close to the Count… And as if he had devised a scheme, a mischievous smile had turned the corners of his lips. [Leonardo]: “You’re close with the contest organizer, right? I’m led to believe that they have some sort of hint on ‘em.” [Count]: “Leonardo…?” [Leonardo]: “We may have willingly chose to participate in the contest— but it doesn’t change the reality that it was our lovely Count who dragged us into this in the first place.” [Leonardo]: “So, naturally, you’re gonna cooperate with us, no?”

As a result of forcing the Count (against his will) to spill the details, we were able to make a guess on what we’d be doing in the contest. But…

most everyone else in this event: (thinking hard on what to do bc they dont kno what the contest is going to cover) leo: fuc it CHEAT

…

[Leonardo]: “…” (…Leonardo has an awfully complicated look on his face right now.) In my mind, I think over our discussion from a moment ago:

The organizer of the couples’ contest appears to have hosted several dance contests as well. To put it plainly, the organizer is both a huge socialite and a huge fan of dances. (So, individuals are called from high society circles to be chosen as the “best couple”, and) (The probability of competing based on our dancing… is high.)

[Leonardo]: “Hagh…” [Kara]: “…Hehe.” Seeing Leonardo’s pouting face, I unwittingly laughed. Then— [Leonardo]: “What are you laughing for, sweetheart?”

[Kara]: “I just remembered something from back before we became lovers.” The conversation of that day, the day where a weakness of his had been exposed, replayed in my head—

…

[Leonardo]: “…I can’t dance.” (Huh…?) [Kara]: “You’ve got to be kidding, right…? You can build and play instruments, and yet…” [Kara]: “Is it because you don’t go to many socialite parties to begin with, so you haven’t had many opportunities to dance….?” [Leonardo]: “No, I’ve participated in ‘em the point where I’ve even had a hand in producing those sorts of dazzling venues.” [Kara]: “’Producing’…” (This person really can do anything and everything. No, no, that’s not true…) [Kara]: “Leonardo, the mystery that surrounds you is only getting deeper and deeper.”

[Leonardo]: “I avoided having to do it.” [Kara]: “…’Avoid’?” [Leonardo]: “…Try to imagine it. Me, dancing?” [Leonardo]: “It doesn’t suit me, I don’t have the look required for it…” (…What… is this?)

[Kara]: “…Hehe, ahaha!” [Leonardo]: “…Hey, sweetheart. What are you laughing for?

…

(He said the same thing back then.) Unable to hold it in, I continued to giggle… [Leonardo]: “Don’t laugh.” [Kara]: “I think you’re the one smiling here, though?” [Leonardo]: “…I’m just feeling terribly nostalgic right now.” Answering me, his eyes held a gentle light within them as if cherishing those days, [Kara]: “You still hate dancing, I assume?” [Leonardo]: “Even to this day, I find it embarrassing to do. Radiant, cheerful stuff doesn’t mesh with me. But—" (Huh?)

The second I wondered if Leonardo was going to start something, he suddenly pulled my waist towards him for an embrace… [Kara]: “Woah, woah-…!” Regaining my senses— Led by Leonardo himself, I properly danced. [Leonardo]: “I’m able to dance like the average person now— and it’s all because you came to keep me company.” While I was still surprised, Leonardo dropped a light kiss on my forehead. [Kara]: “Nn-…” Flustered, I looked up to find a completely composed smile on his face… [Kara]: “…ngh-“ An impulse overwhelming me, I lean my head against his chest.

[Kara]: “…Sly as usual.” [Leonardo]: “Hm?” [Kara]: “Even though I thought I had finally found a weakness of yours, you’ll get over that hurdle too pretty soon.” [Kara]: “When you do things like that, you become sly so smoothly, exquisitely.”

(When he shows this side of him… I get driven to work even harder than before so I can catch up to him.) While even feeling a frustration from it, I turned my gaze back to Leonardo.

[Kara]: “It seems like this world is going to become one where there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do.”

[Leonardo]: “…Maybe?” (…Hm?) For a second it felt as if he were pondering over something, a particular emotion washing over his face.

But before I could say anything, I was swiftly embraced, and that thought of mine scattered, and vanished. [Kara]: “l- Leonardo?” [Leonardo]: “Hey, look there, sweetheart.” (Huh?)

Following Leonardo’s gaze— I could see the dusk dying the sky from a distance away. (Pretty…) The view that he showed me, was beautiful.   But, at the same time… my chest was tightened by this sorrow. (Although the scene before our eyes is the same between us, time passes differently between us…) (During moments like this, I feel that difference.) (However— When we became lovers, I had decided that no matter how different we are, I’m going to embrace the present, make the most out of it.) (I’m going to savor even the passing seconds, cherish them… as we live together, as two.)

As if to confirm he was really there, I embraced his warmth in return… [Kara]: “Leonardo, I’m looking forward to the contest.” [Leonardo]: “Mhm.” In the vivid sunset, we smiled to each other.

…

—Time passed, and the night of the contest arrived at last.

…

(W-Wow…) When we had entered the venue in our formalwear, there were several couples eagerly waiting for the contest to start. (All of the people here have to be participants for the contest, huh. …Somehow, my heart’s pounding.) I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and when I did that— Leonardo, as if to soothe my heart, lightly stroked my hair. [Leonardo]: “Why is it necessary for you to feel all anxious?” [Kara]: “Leonardo?” [Leonardo]: “To the point where there’s just no way we can lose to any couple here— I love you, you know.”

[Leonardo]: “—Well, and you?” Inquiring me, his smile was brimming with self-confidence… And caught up in his mood, I smiled cheerfully.

[Kara]: “I love you too— to the point where it’s impossible for us lose to anyone…!”

[Leonardo]: “Heh… Very nice, then.” [Judge]: “—And so, the contest shall begin now. The means of competition is to be by dance.” (Ah-…!) We look to each other, and Leonardo, extending his hand towards me, says, [Leonardo]: “Kara… You’ll do me the honor of a dance, no…?”

PREMIUM END

[Kara]: “Yes, I’d be delighted!” (Even though I was so nervous about this until now… Now, I can’t help but just be excited about it.) (I want everyone to quickly feast their eyes on our dancing, and our bond!) Taking his hand, I nestled close to him as an elegant melody began to echo within the dance hall. To become a flower that offsets the man before me, I step forward—

…

—When the contest had ended without a hitch, the both of us walked along the moonlit Seine as we made our way home. The chilly breeze felt pleasant on my heated skin. [Kara]: “We really were able to win!” (I was able to prove my bond with Leonardo to all of Paris… I’m so happy that I can’t stop a smile from showing on my face.) [Leonardo]: “I did say we wouldn’t lose to anyone, didn’t I?” [Leonardo]: “But, well, to think… the winning prize was a year’s supply of wine of all things. ‘Guess sensuality and allure are as good as goddamn useless to them.”

he’s trying to say that he doesn’t like the prize cuz it isn’t very sensual/sexy (suppose he imagined a prize for a lovers’ contest would be more along those lines). even Arthur in the epilogue is like “…thought the prize for a best couples’ contest would be more special”….

[Kara]: Hehe, it’s a nice prize, isn’t it? Let’s drink it with everyone else in the manse.” [Leonardo]: “If you’re satisfied with it, that’s good, I suppose.” As he spoke, Leonardo looked to be the same as usual, but his eyes reflected some kind of joy from within. (I’m glad that this will become a lovely memory I’ll have about him.) (…But, even then) The very sight of Leonardo of when I had danced with him in the dance hall, wouldn’t leave my head. [Kara]: “Your dancing was really, really stunning.” [Kara]: “As I had always thought… you’re the strongest one around.” [Leonardo]: “What’s all this about, hmm?”

i probably should’ve bothered explaining it last year since i used the title “My Darling’s the Strongest” for the other translation but uh might as well do it now that it’s explicitly used in the story so by “strongest”, it doesn’t necessarily mean physical strength (though it can be). It’s “strongest” as in a form of “mightiest” or “most powerful”, kind of like when someone says “my baseball team is the strongest in the league”,

[Kara]: “I just think that you’re the mightiest lover as there’s nothing you can’t do.” Carried away by the thrill of victory, I professed my thoughts. In doing so Leonardo’s brows lowered, and a bit of a troubled smile graced his lips. [Leonardo]: “If I’m able to put some effort into it, then I guess there’s really nothing I can’t do. But…”

[Leonardo]: “There is something I simply cannot do, no matter how hard I try.” (Huh…?) [Kara]: “Something you can’t do… I can’t imagine such a thing existing.” He was undoubtedly an almighty genius, and was also the type of person willing to confront even his awkward dancing skills head-on.

At my murmurs, Leonardo continued as if the topic was no big deal.

[Leonardo]: “It exists.” [Leonardo]: “I cannot become an ordinary human.”

(gh-…) His words had vanished into the night breeze.

I inadvertently stopped in my tracks, and he stopped as well… and the both of us stood still in that one corner.

In my current view, the moonlight illuminated his figure as he stood before me. [Leonardo]: “As a pureblood vampire,” [Leonardo]: “I give you much loneliness— A loneliness that, if I were an ordinary human, you would never have to experience.” [Leonardo]: “However, if I went and lamented over every single little detail of that truth, I would be rendered unable to be with you. —Thus from the very beginning, I do not intend to lament either.” [Leonardo]: “I’m going to use as much of my power as I possibly can to grant your wishes, and that’s all.” (Using his power, my wishes…) I recalled the exchange we had a few days ago:

…

[Kara]: “Ah-, I… I just thought it sounded fun.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I’d be really happy if everyone acknowledged me and Leonardo as the best couple.” [Leonardo]: “…”

…

[Kara]: “Did… you say that we should go and try to win the contest… merely because I…” With a smile, Leonardo proceeded to stare intently at me. [Leonardo]: “Well, there’s that, but additionally… I had the same motive as you had.” [Leonardo]: “I also had wanted the both of us to be acknowledged as the best couple.” [Leonardo]: “I wanted news to spread that I had been able to become the man of such a wonderful woman, you know.”   (gh- Leonardo…) Leonardo, whenever and wherever, envelops me in his great, unparalleled affection. Roused by the surging love within me, I went to grip his hand.

[Kara]: “…Leonardo, I want to be by your side tonight, and all night.” (I want to give him, in return for the love I received from him… those same feelings, that same love.) (I want him… to feel my love as well.)

[Leonardo]: “…” [Kara]: “gh- Ah-!” I was suddenly yanked towards him; and almost stumbling over my feet, it had closed the distance between us. Bringing his lips to my ear, he whispered:

[Leonardo]: “What a coincidence. I was just thinking the same thing.”

…

—As soon as we entered his room, we melded, deeply kissing each other. [Leonardo]: “…Hah-, Kara…” He called my name with a wet, heady timbre between kisses, the sensuality of it making me go lightheaded. Crowded atop the bed, he pried my lips open with his finger… [Leonardo]: “Thinking about it, I haven’t received a reward from you yet.” [Kara]: “’Reward’…?” [Leonardo]: “When I’m feeling, touching you like this… I know that you’re not so dumb to be oblivious to what I want?” [Kara]: “ngh-…” Taking a guess on what he desired from me, I slowly brought my face closer to his.

[Leonardo]: “Good girl. Come on— Try to turn me on with a kiss?”

FIN

yes the event really stops here before the epilogue teaser. cybird when a sexi scene is about to start:

since this was a glorified keyboard test, this is mostly a one-off… so don’t expect leo translations from me otherwise ahah

u know, it’s always weird to me that leo’s stuff is always very sorrowful bc of the vast diff in lifespan, humans vs. vampires thing. like, does he not plan to turn her into a vampire? the wedding stuff makes it sound like they’d like to be together forever but they still don’t really like to broach the topic itself……… kinda sus given that the Count’s stuff gets several mentions of biting in events and vlad clearly doesn’t mind biting whenever (and is just waiting for her to give him the go-ahead). ive seen some ppl talk about how maybe leo likes her because she’s human (both as in being a literal human and the figurative idea of being “human”) and honestly……… it is kinda messed up to think about, but i can see it LOL now im not saying the other pureblood x mc relationships are super healthy but that’s a convo for another time

well at least these guys don’t have to ask someone for vampire-turning assistance. im imagining one of the other charas having to ask the Count to bite mc akin to how teenagers have to ask their parents to drive them and their friends around to do stuff…….. who wants to relive that nightmare

also sorry if like leo’s voice doesn’t match up with w/e the official engl localization does. ive literally never played an engl cybird game in my life, so it’s a crime of ignorance i swear. tho imo if they’re not making him sound like a rascal… that’s very lame, im not gonna lie

the epilogue is obviously not available for purchase rn, but please buy it and/or support the game with purchases when you can!!

As always, thanks for reading!

(gif source)

[bootindia4-blog]

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like idk why my family is STILL this oblivious that theres something wrong with me socially??? after 18 years of me being mute/quiet around others, refusing to participate in social situations or just avoiding them, never going ovr to friends houses/inviting people over, having intense breakdowns whenever they force/trick me into talking or being apart of (usually large) social situations... like i even got diagnosed with social anxiety by a professional like?????

 you’d think they would get the picture by now???????? you’d think they would AT LEAST learn to be a little more careful with me and social stuff and not....... decide FOR ME... WITHOUT TALKING TO ME.... to meet up with a stranger to have a conversation...........

and i cant tell them i dont want to do this because

1. my granma did a thing for me and if i say i dont want to then everybody will blow it out of proportion and say im spoiled/hate her

2.this mystery person im supposed to meet up with will think im rude/stuck up

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Weddings, Roth IRAs, Shoes, Blankets, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Thoughts on caring for parents 2. Wedding question, part one 3. Wedding question, part two 4. Starbucks Visa 5. Books on home buying 6. Frugal running shoes 7. Roth IRA contribution question 8. Roth IRA or bigger e-fund? 9. Unwanted Christmas toys 10. Marketing crocheted baby blankets 11. Where do I get advice? 12. Further areas of philosophy Here in Iowa, it felt like winter did not begin until about January 12th or so, but when it did, it hit with a vengeance, with many inches of snow and a forecast for the coming week that has wind chills at our home approaching -50F. When the weather gets that cold, it interferes with all kinds of things. You simply avoid going outside if at all possible, which means that As I write this, Im bundled up in multiple layers of clothing with a cup of hot tea on my desk. I feel quite good after getting up quite early to shovel snow. I dont bother running the snowblower unless we have several inches, as shoveling our drive of a few inches of snow is good exercise. On with the questions. Q1: Thoughts on caring for parents My wife and I are in our forties. We have two adult children that are moved out and on their own. Her parents are both in their late seventies; my parents have been deceased since I was 20. Her parents are ailing. Theyre not in a situation where they need to be in a retirement home, but household tasks wear them out. They live about an hour away and we visit them two or three times a week to help out, as do my wifes siblings. We have been talking about the possibility of having her parents move in with us to make things easier on all involved. We are actually set up very well with this, as we have a large main floor bedroom that could be used by them and a main floor bathroom with a shower that could be modified a bit to make it easy for them to use. Our main worry is that the other siblings will simply stop helping or visiting in any way and just assume were taking care of it. They really like the regular visits from their children and grandchildren and we worry that will all dry up if they move in with us. Our secondary worry is financial as it will add some household expenses. What are your thoughts on this? Shaun In general, if everyone is on board with this, I think multigenerational living is a great approach for everyone involved. The key to making it work is communication people cant hold back on their feelings or else you will turn every little molehill into a mountain. You have to listen to each other and genuinely try to be supportive of one another to the best of your ability. If you can do that, itll work well. As for your specific concerns, with your primary worry, one way to handle this is to just simply have regular family dinners at your house. Make it a routine to have people over for dinner a couple of times a week. I dont know whether your home can support this, but it sounds like it can. Doing this gives people a reason to visit and see your in-laws rather than just stopping by. Its usually easier to go visit a parent or a grandparent if you have a reason to do so; if its just stopping by, its easy to skip it. If theres a meal involved, it feels more like a reason to visit. So, if the move happens, just institute some regular meals. Maybe have a regular Sunday evening potluck or something like that, and maybe start inviting a few people over on weeknights on a regular basis. For the extra meal effort, dont hesitate to ask people to come early to help prep if needed or to bring a side dish in fact, thats a good idea, because it invests them in the meal and makes the visit feel more purposeful. As for the financial concern, talk that over with your in-laws. They will probably want to feel some ownership over the situation anyway. You can simply ask them to pay the energy bill and the internet bill or something like that, something that will partially replace their utility costs at their old place and possibly cut your overall bills, too. They can contribute to buying food, too. This can end up being a money saver for you, actually. The key with any situation like this is open communication and candor. Everything wont go perfectly and youll all do things that drive the other one crazy. Just be open about it and dont let it grow into hurt feelings. Understand that everyone loves each other and you all want to make this work. Q2: Wedding question, part one I have two wedding-related questions for the Reader Mailbag. One of my best friends is getting married, and has asked me to be a bridesmaid. We are in our mid-to-late 20s. She and her fiance make good incomes and come from fairly well-off families. My friend and I have pretty different approaches to our finances as she really enjoys going out, eating out, shopping, etc. Meanwhile, Im currently in grad school. My friends wedding will be at a swanky venue in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. (Note: its not a destination wedding, but I dont live there.) I expect everything about the wedding to be top-of-line. My friend wants all of her bridesmaids to purchase bridesmaids dresses together as a group from the same store, by the same deadline. The store stylist said that this guarantees that all of the dresses will come from the same dye lot. The dress that my friend chose for everyone to wear is $300. Its not that I dont have the money for this, but thats a lot of money! I found that same dress, used, in my size online. The used dress is significantly less money than the dresss retail price. I dont feel that dye lot matters much, but some online wedding forums warn against bridesmaids purchasing dresses piecemeal to avoid inconsistencies that may show up in the wedding photos. I would feel awkward asking my friend if I can order the dress on my own rather than as part of the group, because I feel like Id be ruining her expensive photos. Again, its not that I absolutely cant afford it, but it just seems so wasteful to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress when I can find it for so much less. Is this a time when I just need to suck it up and participate in the group order for the sake of maintaining social normalcy? I already feel bad because Im skipping the bachelorette party which is across the country, so I feel like Im the odd one out. Tammy If I were in your shoes, I would sit down and talk to your friend about the situation. Simply ask if it is okay for the bridesmaids to buy the dress on their own. If she asks why, simply explain the reason youre a graduate student, $300 is a lot of money, and you found the same dress in the same color for much less. The thing to remember is that if this causes a real issue, then there are issues in the friendship to begin with. A good friend appreciates the situation that their friend finds themselves in and works to find a way around it. A wedding is not made or broken on the dress worn by a bridesmaid. Just have a conversation. The vast majority of the time, this will be a non-issue. If it is an issue, its a valuable indication of the status of the friendship. Q3: Wedding question, part two Second, how much would you recommend spending for the wedding gift? I was thinking of something from the registry thats $100, but a lot of wedding etiquette sites say that if its a really good friend, you should be spending closer to $175. I dont want to seem cheap or send the message that I dont value her as a really good friend, especially when this is going to be a really nice/luxurious occasion. But theres also a shower gift to account for Tammy You should completely ignore wedding etiquette sites when they give an exact dollar amount for a gift, especially one as weirdly precise as $175. Thats just weird, bad advice. Give a thoughtful gift you can afford. Pick something from the registry that you can afford and then also write a nice handwritten note to go along with the gift expressing your best wishes for the couple in your own words with your best penmanship. Anyone who looks negatively upon a gift given to them is a person lacking in character. Gifts should always be given freely based upon what the giver can easily afford. Q4: Starbucks Visa As a Starbucks lover, is the Starbucks Visa worth it? How does it compare to popular cards like the Chase Freedom? Lana Well, lets walk through the hypothetical example given in their sales pitch. In that example, youre spending $525 a month for a year, $25 at Starbucks and $500 elsewhere, so that adds up to $6,300. Lets say you use the card for two years, so the total is $12,600. This earns you 64 rewards in the first year and 28 rewards the second year, totaling 92 rewards. A reward is a drink or food item at Starbucks and appears to be at least somewhat Starbucks choice. Lets assume these are worth an average of $4 each, so your total rewards are $368 in value. To get that reward, you also have to pay $100 in annual fees on the card. So, youre getting $268 in value, all in the form of Starbucks items that you largely cant select yourself. Thats a little over 2% in rewards in the form of food items that are probably good but you cant select yourself. Thats not really the best card deal out there, and its going to decline in value each additional year because you only get that big bonus the first year. I dont think this card is worth it unless you drink a lot of Starbucks, in which case you might want to rethink how much youre spending in coffee shops. Q5: Books on home buying Do you have any recommendations on books to read to learn about home-buying? My wife and I are planning to purchase this year. Jim My first recommendation for first-time homebuyers is Home Buying Kit for Dummies by Eric Tyson (seriously). Its an extremely good guide to what people should know about buying their first home, and Sarah and I read an earlier edition thoroughly when we were considering buying our current home. Ignore the for Dummies part its a really good guide. From there, Id hone in on which aspects of home buying arent crystal clear to you and read articles and find books to fill in gaps in your knowledge. If I had to pick a second book, Id probably look at 100 Questions Every First-Time Home Buyer Should Ask by Ilyce Glink. While its not as thorough as the Tyson book, it does delve nicely into specific areas of the home buying experience and can complement specific areas of the Tyson book well. Q6: Frugal running shoes For a new years resolution I followed your advice and started a resolution of running for 1 minute every day this year and running more if I feel like it but not required. Its been working great! I have been running about 20 minutes a day on average on warm days and at least running a block or two on the really cold days. I thankfully have a spot to run on snowy days. Anyway Im writing to ask for frugal advice on running shoes. I used to be a big spender back when I was running and bought expensive shoes constantly. I whipped my finances in shape during a time when I wasnt running for various reasons but now that Im back at it, I need to figure out a way to do this without spending $100-200 a month on shoes. Ideas? Tom Lets get this out of the way right now: I do not advocate anyone running in worn out shoes. You are begging for various physical problems by doing so. You should be replacing your shoes 300 to 500 miles or every 18 months, because the sole of the shoe simply wears down. Look at the bottom of the shoe and see if you see a lot of creases on the shoes bottom and theres significant discoloring thats a great sign of wear and you should probably get new ones. My recommendation is to find a good mid-cost model that really works well for you, buy a pair of them, and then stalk out bargains on that specific model. I have either personally liked or heard very good things about ASICS Gel Venture, Nike Revolution 4, and Adidas Cloudfoam, all of which are available under $50 a pair with ease, so try those. Once you have a sub-$50 pair you really like, just watch very closely for bargains on those shoes and buy multiple pairs at once if you find a really good deal. You can watch them on Amazon by using tools like Camel Camel Camel, for example. Q7: Roth IRA contribution question I decided to put some money that I got for Christmas from my wonderful generous grandparents into a Roth IRA. I opened one through Vanguard and went to deposit the money and they asked if it was a 2018 contribution or a 2019 contribution. Which should I choose? Not sure of the ramifications. Julie Since this is a new Roth IRA meaning you havent made any contributions to a Roth IRA in 2018, I assume and Im also assuming that (a) you havent filed your taxes for 2018 yet and (b) the amount youre contributing is less than $5,500, then you should make a 2018 contribution. Each year, youre allowed to contribute up to $5,500 to your Roth IRA starting in 2019, that limit goes up to $6,000. That window to contribute starts on January 1 of a given year and ends when you file your taxes for that year early in the following year. So, until you file your 2018 taxes (some time before mid April), you can still make a 2018 Roth IRA contribution, and you should do so because that window is about to close forever, plus it leaves the 2019 contribution window wide open. This is a great thing to be doing with a gift from grandparents, by the way. While they might want you to do something fun with that money, if you told them that you put it aside for your future, theyll be proud of you and for good reason. Heres another good Roth IRA question. Q8: Roth IRA or bigger e-fund? I have about $3,000 in an emergency fund which would be enough to get by for about two months. I am single with a 7 year old daughter. I have about $1,000 surplus in checking. Should I add to the emergency fund or add to my Roth? Nowhere near contribution limits for the year. Amy First of all, I want to say that I am in awe of what youre pulling off here. Youre a single mother who not only has a healthy emergency fund, but is also concerned about saving for retirement. You are on the ball and deserve kudos for that. Second, two months of living expenses is a good healthy emergency fund. If I were in your shoes, I would probably make the Roth contribution with most of the surplus, leaving a little behind in checking as a buffer. Then, I would set up an automatic transfer from checking to savings each week $10 or $15 or $20 should do. This way, your emergency fund automatically grows slowly over time and if you have to tap it, you know its going to refill over time with no further effort. So, Id probably contribute around $750 to the Roth IRA, then Id set up a $20 per week automatic transfer into my emergency fund going forward. Q9: Unwanted Christmas toys My kids receive an absurd number of gifts for Christmas each year. For the last few years, my husband and I have actually removed a few items from their pile that they were less interested in and put them aside to see if they remember them and if not we quietly sell them and put the money in their 529. We figure the gifts were unwanted. This past weekend my sister came over and mentioned the toy she had bought for our middle child. It was one he had overlooked and we had put in storage in the garage. We hadnt sold it yet. He wanted it so we dug it out and gave it to him. My sister was obviously curious as to what the deal was and we explained it to her and she got really mad at us and called us thieves. What are your thoughts? Jason I honestly dont see anything too wrong with your approach. Youre putting the gifts that your children arent interested in aside for a while, giving it some time in case they do think about them, and then if they dont, you sell them off and put the money aside for their college education. Its not as if youre stealing their toys or anything youre just turning the ones they dont want into something that will help them for life. Your sisters response might have had something to do with the fact that she apparently put a lot of thought into the gift and your child wasnt interested in the gift, which hurt her feelings. Her feelings were probably hurt even worse when she found out you were going to sell it unopened. This is one of those situations where you should just give it a little time and talk about it when the situation is less raw. I think your sister will see the sense in what youre doing. Q10: Marketing crocheted baby blankets In late 2018, three extended family members had babies so I crocheted a blanket for each one. The recipients seemed to genuinely love them and two suggested that I try to sell them. I enjoy making them but I dont even know where to start. Carrie My honest suggestion is that you throw out the suggestion to your social network. Post it on social media along with a picture or two of the baby blankets and say that youre willing to make them for baby shower or birth gifts. State your price and the dimensions and what kind of customization options you offer. Im honestly not sure what to charge for the blankets. Thats something you would be much better at assessing than I am. My suggestion would be to go relatively low in price at first cover the price of the yarn and make a little for yourself, but not a mint and then raise it if your blankets become popular. You might also consider an Etsy account in order to sell your wares. Q11: Where do I get advice? You give so much great advice! Where do you go when you need advice? Jenna When Im in a situation where I dont know what to do, I usually write it all out. Im a huge proponent of doing three morning pages, which is a journaling technique where you sit down each morning and just brain dump three pages of writing in a blank journal. I try really hard to do that every day, and it often turns into a forum for me to take a problem in my life and turn it over thoroughly with pros and cons. I usually need to really understand a problem first before I can look for meaningful advice on it. Quite often, this process will make the solution to my problem screamingly obvious. The next step, if journaling doesnt give me an answer, is always to talk to my wife, even if the advice I need involves her. We communicate with each other a lot not a day goes by without a few meaningful conversations. Sarah is my primary source for advice on everything. If Im still unsure, I usually go to the library and try to research ideas on my own. I tend to trust expert advice from books, where the reasoning behind the advice is usually laid out and I can see how that advice applies to my life. If Im still unsure, I usually talk to a few people in my life that I really trust. I have a few mentors in the community. I really trust and value the views of my parents and my wifes parents and my sister-in-law. I talk to them next. If Im still not sure what to do, Ill go talk to a professional in that particular field, but its very rare that I get to this point. Q12: Further areas of philosophy I have been enjoying your semi-regular series of Saturday articles about how different schools of philosophy provide personal finance guidance. What areas are you planning to cover in the future? Dane So far, Ive covered stoicism, Epicureanism, Aristotleanism, and secular Buddhism, for those interested. Danes note actually came in before the last one was posted. Going forward, I definitely want to write an article on transcendentalism, which Ive touched on indirectly several times. This would cover Emerson and Thoreau (who I hold in very high regard), among others. I can see a useful article on utilitarianism at some point. I want to read more about various Eastern schools of philosophy which, outside of secular Buddhism and a few others, I know little. Beyond that, it really depends on where my reading takes me. I love reading philosophy, particularly those with a practical angle that provides insights on how to live, and I find that most such schools of thought that deal with the practical in some fashion have a lot of application to personal finance. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-weddings-roth-iras-shoes-blankets-and-more/