#GOD he's giving up so much so that Colin has a better childhood than he did it makes me want to cry

[spursthatjinglejanglejingle]

Guillermo is like catnip to el gee be tees, he had a bad childhood, he's arguably a serial killer, he's a massive nerd, he's INCREDIBLY badass, he's good with kids, he likes dogs, he's a massive pushover, he's a bad person but also the heart and soul of the show, he has mommy AND daddy issues, he goes out of his way to make people feel wanted, he's gay he's a milf he's sexy he's lame he's absolutely everything

[disasterofastory]

Disaster of the season Part 1 (Colin B. x Reader)

Disaster of the season Part 1 Colin Bridgerton x Reader Warnings: none

Four times when you embarrass yourself in front of the ton and one time when Colin decides you are the one for him.

I.

Colin stands beside his brothers, looking around the ballroom. Everybody tries to show their best self to impress the Queen, who sits at the end of the ornate hall with a stoic, unimpressed face. They can feel the tension as the man next to the great door reads the debutantes’ name clearly and loudly.

The Featherington girls look like lost chicks with big feathers on the top of their heads. They are paler than usual, and their mother tries to adjust them like an angry mother hen.

Colin tries not to smile at the thought, and the next moment, he forgets to breathe as one of the young girls falls over fainting. Her thin body meets with the floor with a thud, and everyone gasps at the scene. The poor girl doesn’t even have time to gather herself because of her fretting mother.

The next debutante is the Bridgerton boys’ sister. She is beautiful and flawless, as the Queen said a few moments ago. Colin glances up at his big brother, who watches their sister with a proud smile on his face. Daphne’s face is tinted with red from the praise as she curtsies before the Queen.

The last debutante of the season is you.

You stand behind the door as you hear the man reading your name. Your mother squeezes your hand one last time before the door opens before you. People look at you with interest and judge in their eyes, while the only thing you can focus on is the heavy feather in your hair. It pulls on your tied-up locks as you start to walk.  Your chest moves up and down by anxiety, and your knees weaken when you stop in front of the Queen with a curtsy. You keep your posture for what feels like long hours before you straight up, looking at the woman.

And the disaster happens.

You feel warmth above your painted lips, and you can smell the typical, steely scent of blood.

Oh God, no!

You can hear the gasps around the room, and you can see the disgusted expression on the Queen’s face as she notices your state. Your eyes burn with tears, and you stare at the floor in front of you while your mother stands next to you with a comforting touch and a handkerchief. You grab the soft fabric with a quiet thanks as you try to hide your embarrassment.

Colin watches you the whole time. He knows you since childhood. Your family was there for them when their father passed away. He knows you hate the attention, and he can see the shame in your eyes as you turn around with your mother’s arms on your shoulder. Mrs. Y/L/N’s lips move as she tries to comfort you without success.

“Poor Y/N,” Anthony says quietly, watching you leave the room.

“She is pretty despite the… blood,” Colin replies sympathetically.

II.

Lady Whistledown's sharp-tongued report about the debutantes leaves no hope in you for visitors.

You sit in the drawing-room with the paper on your lap, trying to hold back your tears. It’s not like you want to get married immediately to the first person who shows interest in you but still. Sitting alone in a room while the other girls probably bask in the flowers while the suitors line up in front of their house is heartbreaking.

“My poor girl,” your father sighs, sitting down next to you. “You shouldn’t be so sad about this.”

Without answering with words, you shrug, holding back your sob as you stare at the paper on your lap.

“It’s not the end of the world, you know?” He tries again. “Your mother and I met at the last minute. Both of us give up the hope to marry out of love and now look at us. I bet we are happier than a lot of couples of the ton.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, looking up at him with a small smile.

You are lucky if it comes to your family. Of course, they always make sure their name and honor are pure, but they know they are only people. Mistakes happen, and your parents definitely don’t want you to marry anybody who doesn’t make you happy.

“We should go to have a picnic,” he says, patting your knee. “I’m sure Daphne and Eloise would make you feel better.”

“It sounds good, dad,” you nod, standing up from your seat to get ready.

The weather is sunny and warm, and the park is full of people. Men talk with each other about the season and business while families sit around on their blankets and little kids run among them, playing and laughing. You see the Bridgertons as soon as you enter the park, and soon you and your family join their company.

Violet smiles at you comfortingly, squeezing you as you hug her as a greeting.

You look around fearfully while your parents start to talk with Mrs. Bridgerton, enjoying the clear air and warm sunlight.

“Y/N,” You hear your name from Eloise’s lips.

“It’s good to see you,” you smile at her, still busy with the others of the ton.

“You don’t have to worry,” she says when she notices your fidgety demeanor. “Everybody talks about Daphne and Simon Basset.”

“What?” You look at the brown-haired girl with surprise on your face. She nods, pointing not far at the walking couple. “Oh,” you gasp, relieved and a little bit jealous. Of course, the diamond of the season has no problem finding a worthy suitor to her liking.

It’s not like you are jealous because of the Duke, you don’t know the man, and your heart already found the person you want the most. It’s more about that Daphne has every chance to get a husband while you couldn’t be farther from it.

Speaking of…

“Y/N,” Colin mentions your name, stepping out from next to his brothers’ company to greet you with a kiss on your hand. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” you smile. “And how are you?” You ask him, looking behind him to his brothers. “What mischief you got into?”

The smile on your face becomes cheeky as they laugh.

“I think Miss Y/L/N knows us as rascals,” Anthony says with a smirk on his lips. He is happy you seem better after the unfortunate encounter with the Queen.

“I hope not,” Colin murmurs, but you don’t understand him, and you don’t even have time to think about it because his sister grabs your arm to pull you with herself.

“Come, Y/N,” Eloise says. “Walk with me. I want to talk with Penelope.”

The mentioned girl seems uncomfortable in her pink, flowery dress. She rolls her eyes at something her sister said when she notices your approaching form. She stands up to excuse herself before she joins your small company for a walk.

“I’m sorry about what happened at the ball,” she says, and you smile at her.

“It’s okay, Pen,” you tell her. “It’s in the past.”

You walk with the two girls beside the lake, chatting and laughing under the bright sun. Your mood changes fast as you listen to their words, and soon you don’t even think about the horrible event, doesn’t matter if the others look at you judgingly or not.

Colin stands next to his mother, listening to your parent talking about your sorrowful days without visitors. You don’t deserve it, he is sure of it, you are funny and smart and beautiful. Any man would be lucky to court you.

He looks around to find you, walking with his sister and Penelope next to the small lake. The smile on your face is much happier than before, and he can almost hear your laugh at something Eloise said. The light dress on you slowly waves as the wind rises.

At the corner of his eyes, he sees his younger siblings running around on the green grass. Hyacinth chases her brother, who laughs at his sister’s fury.

Colin straightens up as he stands, seeing his siblings running to your way with unchanged speed.

“Gregory,” he shouts warningly, and his younger brother looks back at him, confused, but it’s too late. His small body collides with your unprepared form. A small shriek leaves your mouth as you reach for Eloise, who tries to grab you without success.

You disappear under the water as you fall into it with a splash. The Bridgertons already run your way with your parents in their heels.

“Gregory Bridgerton!” Colin hears their mother's angry voice and the others’ gasps at the scene.

“Y/N!” He says your name in sync with his brothers, reaching for you to help you out of the water.

Your face is surprised as if you still can’t believe what happened. Your hair is ruined, and your clothes stick to your body, so your father takes off his coat to hide you.

“Are you okay?” He asks you worriedly.

Colin still holds your arm, and he can’t decide about the wetness on your face.

Are you crying?

[alittlextrathatway]

Penelope/Colin: “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

YAY SOMETHING BESIDES BRETTSEY. (Not that I don’t love them.) I’ve never written Polin before! I’m excited to play! 🙌🏻 Thank you!

How about a modern AU for this one? Just cause.

******

It all started because of the pandemic.

He’d been perfectly happy traveling. It’s not like he had anything else to occupy his time. He wasn’t particularly talented and he didn’t have any hobbies or interests. Aside from eating but he doubted his mother would approve of him becoming one of those professional hot dog eaters and he didn’t care enough for the piddly portions of fine dining to become a food critic.

The only thing that truly distracts him from his lack of drive or ambition is traveling — learning about the world and it’s many cultures.

He has journal after journal full of his discoveries and experiences. Travel is really his only love.

Which is why he’d stopped and started his studies so many times. He took a year between high school and college to backpack through Europe. Then another year after freshman year to “study abroad”, not that he actually studied. Which is why his mother forced him to come back and finish his third year stateside. After that, he’d set off traveling again. Every year he found another excuse not to come home for any longer than a month or two, allowing him to put off his final year.

It’s not as if he’s getting a degree in anything useful. He’s an English major. And it’s not as if his career isn’t already decided for him. Upon graduation he’ll be given an office at Bridgerton Family Publishing. Doing what? Well, no one knows. Not even him.

So, what’s the rush?

He’d still be gone abroad right now if not for COVID forcing him to return home. God, he hates 2020. What a waste of a year. He came home too late for the spring 2020 term so he’s spent the last several months going absolutely crazy.

He’s a man of the world who is not being allowed to go out and see it. He can’t imagine anything more cruel.

Actually, no, he takes that back. There’s one thing:

Using the time he’s forced to stay in Mayfair to discover he’s completely and stupidly in love with his little sister’s best friend.

The friend who overheard him, last time he was home for any considerable length of time, declaring to his brothers that he would never be interested in her.

Because, of course, Colin Bridgerton is a colossal jackass who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s been staring him in the face his entire life.

There’s laughter coming from the direction of the foyer. Very distinctive laughing. One high and tinkling like a pretty little bell and the other deeper and hoarser. The alto to the other’s soprano. The alto in this case is his younger sister, Eloise, and the soprano is Penelope.

The woman he should have noticed long before now.

He gets up from where he’s lounging on the sofa, mournfully watching the Travel Channel, and takes his plate full of sandwiches with him.

He finds them giggling and applying lipstick in the mirror by the front door. They look dressed to go out. Eloise in her slick tailored pant suit and intricately adorned lace top, in monochromatic lavender. And Penelope in…

Holy shit, what is that?

Apparently, it’s the instrument of his imminent death if the erratic beating of his heart is any indication. He’s going to have some sort of attack and go into cardiac arrest right here in the foyer of his childhood home.

It’s a tight forest green dress that has an off the shoulder neckline. It hugs her curves so perfectly that he thinks someone must have sewn it onto her. It shows the perfect amount of skin along her neck and shoulders, giving just a tiny glimpse of cleavage.

And she’s had a haircut since she was here yesterday. Her ginger locks now rest against her cheeks in a wavy stylish bob. She was beautiful before. He was never blind to that as some other people around Pen have proven to be, but now...

She’s absolutely stunning.

So stunning that other people will surely see what he sees. And he’s grateful for that, truly. She deserves to be seen as she is — brilliant and beautiful — but that means he’s about to have competition while trying to win her over. And he is not grateful for that.

He’s been trying to be more forward with her when they’re alone but that doesn’t happen often and he’s not sure Penelope takes him very seriously. (No one does.) She seems to always be in disbelief when he flirts with her.

“Where are you two off to?” He asks, leaning against the wall opposite the mirror.

“Double date,” Eloise says, fluffing her hair in the mirror. “Pen arranged it. She met someone extremely gorgeous at the library today.”

Penelope blushes and grins demurely. “It’s the magic of a fresh cut,” she says motioning to her new hair. “He was there with his friend and we were all scrambling for resources for our bibliographies together and he asked if I wanted to get dinner and I asked if Eloise could come. No big deal.”

“It doesn’t look as if it’s not a big deal,” Colin observes, his gaze sweeping over Penelope from head to toe.

“His father owns that new super exclusive restaurant Kate’s been begging Anthony to take her too. You know, La Table Gourmande?” Eloise explains.

“The one that told Anthony the next available reservation was in two months? That restaurant?” Colin asks, trying not to scowl.

Really, there was no need for this guy to show off. He seems a bit full of himself.

“That’s the one,” Penelope replies with a nod. “He says he can get us the Chef’s table tonight. I’ve never done anything like that before. It sounds exciting. Might be the closest I ever get to authentic French cuisine. For a while anyway.”

Okay, so now he feels like a heel for wanting to keep her from going out. He knows he’s lucky his family is so well off. It allows him to travel. Penelope’s family, while not destitute, has spent most of their surplus funds putting three daughters, soon to be a fourth, through school. In fact, if not for a distant rich aunt who died they wouldn’t even have been able to afford that.

Any money Penelope used to travel would have to be her own, and he isn’t sure how much of that she has.

“Pen,” Eloise calls, interrupting Colin’s thoughts. “Have you seen my clutch? Did I bring it down?”

“I don’t see it anywhere,” Penelope says with a shake of her head. “Did you leave it on your dresser?”

Eloise groans in irritation, turning toward the main staircase of their massive house. “I guess I did. I’ll be right back.”

Finally, they’re alone. Colin clears his throat and sets the plate of sandwiches he’d been snacking on down on the hall table. He crosses the space until he’s standing mere inches away from her.

“Don’t go out tonight. I can take you somewhere else. Somewhere better,” Colin suggests.

“Better?” Penelope asks skeptically.

He nods. “I have a friend who opened a restaurant here that I met while I was in Nice. It’s smaller than that La Table Gourmand monstrosity and not quite considered fine dining but it’s real. It’s better. It’ll be closer to actually being in France than anything in that obnoxious place.”

“I don’t see why I can’t go with Marcus tonight and then you some other time,” she tells him, lifting one perfect brow and pursing her lips.

“This guy sounds like a prick,” Colin says with a scoff. “Bragging about his father’s connections on the first date? That’s not a good sign, Pen. Trust me, I know these things. I’m a guy.”

“Maybe,” she says with a shrug, a small knowing grin on her lips. “But I think I should decide that for myself. Don’t you?”

That grin…

She knows exactly what he’s trying to do.

She’s being difficult on purpose.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave,” she challenges him, continuing to grin smugly.

Well, if that’s the game she wants to play then so be it.

“Why waste a night figuring out what I already know when you could just let me take you out instead for what, we both know, would be a better time?” Colin asks, caressing the length of Penelope’s arm with a light tender touch.

She sucks in a breath at the contact, but doesn’t show any weakness in her expression. “Yes, but going out with Marcus would be a date that might actually lead to something. What would be the purpose of ditching a real date for you instead?”

“Oh, you want it to lead to something?” He asks, a smirk growing on his face as he backs her up toward the wall.

“Y—yes,” she stammers, her grin slipping as nerves shine in her eyes.

Her back hits the wall and he brings one hand to her cheek, cupping her face and trailing his thumb along her cheekbone.

He leans down, nearly closing the distance between them but stops just short of kissing her. “Come out with me, Pen, and you can choose where it leads. I’ll give you whatever future I have, even if I have no idea what it is. You set the terms, you call the shots.”

Her eyes widen and her cheeks flush but she instinctively leans into his hand. Call him a cocky bastard, but that’s the moment he knows he’s won. The moment he knows she’ll choose him.

“I set the terms?” She asks, biting her bottom lip while she stares at his.

He nods, waiting for the moment she leans up and kisses him.

“Well, then you know what I think?” She asks, rhetorically while she rests a hand on his chest.

“Tell me,” he pleads.

She smiles wickedly and pushes him away by one step. “I think you could do with some healthy competition.”

She sidesteps him and saunters off to the front door, leaving him gaping at her like a fool.

Like a besotted, astonished, completely smitten fool.

Eloise reappears, patting Colin’s shoulder as she follows after Penelope. “Tell mom we’ll be back late.”

They leave, the door shuts, and all he can think is…

Well played, Penelope Featherington.

But the Bridgertons are famously competitive and this game is only just beginning. He’ll win her over yet.

Wait and see.

[robinrequiems]

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

J:

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

[ntshastark]

ok, I’ve finished watching it so here it goes:

Bridgerton final impressions

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Daphne: I love her!!!!!!!!! I loved her on the book and I loved her on the show. My only complain is..... The Scene........ The way they changed it up made it so they could’ve easily swapped The Scene for a confrontation. I guess they didn’t want Simon to be the only asshole of the two but then they never addressed how Daphne was wrong too??? They just use the Whistledown voice-over to basically say “oh she’s desperate so it’s understandable” and then kinda shift all the blame onto Violet - and, don’t get me wrong, her sex talk is shit and she should know it, but what Daphne did was already after Rose really explained her how sex really works, so ignorance isn’t really an excuse....

Simon: I love him!!!!!!!!! I loved him on the book and I loved him on the show. My only complain is how they handled his daddy issues arc’s resolution. Like, Daphne just tells him he doesn’t need to be perfect to be loved and! Just like that! He is cured! Childhood trauma? I don’t know her! They don’t even address the real problem, which is Simon going from living to please his father to living to spite his (dead) father, and the book just handled it SO WELL, I really don’t understand why they changed it in the show.

I hope Simon and Daphne don’t get brushed off to the side now that their book’s story is over. Simon and Anthony’s friendship still needs a little patching up; there’s the Will and Alice storyline that, if they choose to continue, Simon will likely be involved in; and Daphne is pregnant during Anthony’s book, so they can do something about that too, and maybe about her helping out Eloise during her first season... I know they won’t be the focus of the story ever again, but I just hope they keep showing up like ABC and E did on this season, and aren’t just mentioned to be doing their own thing off-screen like Francesca was.

Anthony: .......................................................Sigh. I don’t know who that incompetent, irresponsible, lovesick idiot is, but it’s sure as hell not Anthony. They literally took everything about his character, cut into pieces, made a nonsensical collage and called it characterisation. The real Anthony has an incredibly strong sense of duty and responsibility to both his title and his family, because he feels he has to do it as good as his father would - which, in his head, is perfection. He doesn’t skip and/or arrives late to important events because he’s fooling around with his mistress, and he wouldn’t just wave away his responsibilities to his brothers - especially because they are also his responsibility. The real Anthony cares deeply about the happiness of his siblings, and does everything to secure them the Happily Ever After he himself doesn’t believe he’ll ever have. He would never force one of them to marry someone they clearly despise, especially with no serious reason. The real Anthony was a rake who jumped from bed to bed without letting himself create real attachments, because he deeply believes he’s going to die young and can’t bring himself to make someone go through the same pain his mother did when his father died. He simply wouldn’t remain seeing a woman if he thought he was developing feelings for her - and that only changed when he was forced to marry Kate - and he definitely wouldn’t ask someone to run away with him when he’s finally free of society, jesus fucking christ what the hell even was that?????? And so they - knowing he was going to be next season’s protagonist, mind you  - took all of the characteristics Anthony developed in the 10 years since his father’s death, largely because of Edmond - both in how he raised him and in how his death traumatised him - and said “hey, what if we make all of this happen in like 3 months, and be all about that opera singer he kissed once in the book!”

Violet: I love her, but I feel like they sacrificed a lot of Anthony’s character for her sake......... The Nigel thing is a great example of that: The way she solved it was amazing, but for that to happen they had to make Anthony cause the problem in the first place, which was so ooc it physically hurt. And the way she’s constantly reminding him of how much he sucks as a Viscount, and even straight up saying that his father would’ve been much better was icky tbh

Eloise: Loved how they explored her relationships with Daphne and Benedict - and the queen thing was funny - but that’s about it. She’s so incredibly entitled holy fuck. Combine the fresh-faced feminist who just learned the buzzwords and now thinks sexism is the single biggest plague to ever walk this earth with the spoiled rich girl who wants the entire world to bend to her whims and refuses to do anything she doesn’t want, and that’s how you get show!Eloise. But, tbh, I don’t really mind. She’s a teenager, that’s just how teenagers are. We didn’t really see that much of her before the time jump in the books, she has a long way to go until her story takes center place, and I’m perfectly ok with us watching how she becomes the woman we see in TSPWL. Basically, not that big of a fan of her characterisation, but she is in a spot where she can spend some time turning into the woman from her book - unlike Anthony :)). My big issue is actually how her going from vehemently anti-marriage as a teenager to happily married and with a bunch of kids as an adult is going to feed such a tired trope...

Penelope: I love her, obviously, but oh boy is she fucked. I agree very much with this post re: what she did to Marina. I guess, because LW was initially just a writing device to allow for exposition, the show is gonna go WAY deeper into how the things that happen to Penelope (and her being a teenager) affect what she writes, and into the consequences of doing what she’s doing, but honestly? They might have overplayed it...... I really don’t see how in the fuck they’re gonna make the ending of RMB work in the show’s universe - and I already thought the books glossed over the consequences way too much. So, uh. Good luck I guess.

(Also, I wonder what they’re gonna do about that heir cliffhanger. I just assumed Penelope was gonna do what she does in the books and find a way to give part of the Whistledown money to her mother. Gotta admit it never occurred to me that, with all the Featherington children being women and their father being dead, the title and what comes with it technically belonged to a uncle or cousin or something)

Marina: I fucking hate them for making me get attached to her knowing what’s gonna happen. This poor girl, jesus christ. And, ok, a lot of times she seemed rude and ungrateful but 1. Her situation was fucking terrifying and 2. She was suddenly thrown into this world of pampered, superficial, and naive girls, and that can test anyone’s patience. Also, yeah, the whole manipulating Colin thing was not cool, but, again, it was either that, an elderly likely-abusive husband, or a life of shame on the margins of society, so uhhh.

(Also, that scene when she said she would love for her, Penelope and Eloise to be sisters........ And I thought Eloise becoming Oliver and Amanda’s mother couldn’t hit me any harder......... Imagine an AU where George survived and he and Marina get married and Eloise marries Philip and Penelope marries Colin and they’re all sisters-in-law to each other and I cry my eyes out)

Colin: Gotta be honest with ya, chief... I don’t think he passes the sexy lamp test. Missed his and Daphne’s special relationship, missed his love of food, missed his sense of humour... At least he and Penelope were cute. I’m actually already shipping them more in the show than in the books.

Benedict: I think they’re trying to mirror him being in a relationship with a woman of no status (now Genevieve, then Sophie) with being gay and hmm. Really not sure about it. He does seem bicurious to me but I think they’re hesitant to give him an arc focused on exploring his sexuality when we know his love story is gonna be with a woman (but then again, they weren’t afraid of giving Anthony an arc about having a relationship with a woman of no status when we know his love story is gonna be with a perfectly respectable one, so *shrugs*). Once again, very glad they decided to make him and Eloise so close from the get-go. It’s going to make that scene on TSPWL where Benophie’s son gets sick so much more meaningful and painful, I can’t wait.

Siena and Genevieve: They’re both amazing women with an incredible friendship. Benedict and Genevieve have the relationship I was hoping Anthony and Siena would have, from the trailers.

Francesca: Glorified cameo. Disappointing. I know she doesn’t show up much in the books other than her own, but that should just have been seen as an opportunity to do whatever they wanted with her! Not make her disappear for 6/8 episodes! Hope they show more of her on the next season.

Gregory and Hyacinth: They’re baby. The scene where Gregory makes both Anthony and Simon fall on the water should’ve been there. Loved Hyacinth acting like she’s Simon’s BFF. Loved that they cut Hyacinth’s “wait for me” scene bc it reminded me too much of my annoying little cousin and made me not like her for the longest time.

Lady Danbury: 10/10. Please hit me with your cane. Am currently entertaining the idea of having her and Violet get together.

Barry B. Benson: A cold-blooded murderer

Overall: This didn’t fit into any character, but oh god........... the lack of chemises............ But  I loved the show, even if some things annoyed me,  and I can’t wait for season 2 AND MY GIRL KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[magicalhideoutengineer]

Nobody expected Johnny Depp to send those photos, though in retrospect they probably should have.

Director David Yates was finishing filming Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them when the images arrived in his email. Depp had yet to shoot his climactic scene: Magizoologist hero Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) reveals that the fugitive dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald has been hiding in plain sight the entire film, disguised as dapper auror Percival Graves (played by Colin Farrell). The Farrell-to-Depp switcheroo was to be the film’s biggest shock when it came out in theaters, but first it was the director’s turn to be surprised.

Much like Depp had done when crafting his takes on Willy Wonka and Capt. Jack Sparrow, the actor huddled together with a makeup team to design his own creative look for J.K. Rowling’s villain.

“I had an image in my head of the guy,” explains Depp, who felt emboldened in his creative choices by a Skype chat with Rowling about the role. “She said, ‘I can’t wait to see what you do with him.’ It was beautifully left as this open gift.”

So Depp sent photos of himself as Grindelwald to Yates. His first-draft makeover was “slightly more extreme” than where Grindelwald ended up, the director recalls. “We saw this character as a combination of poet, rock star, visionary, and sociopath, beguiling but lethal,” says Yates, who also helmed the final four Harry Potter films.

After some back-and-forth (at one point a “foppish, romantic look” was considered and rejected), the production embraced Depp’s concept of Grindelwald as a pre-WWII vision of Aryan fascism — an ultra-white, pasty-faced platinum blond, with an undercut haircut and pale mismatched eyes.

“I almost felt like he’s maybe two people,” Depp says. “He’s twins in one body. So a gamy eye is more like the other side of him — a brain for each eye, and he’s somewhere in the middle.”

When Depp’s Grindelwald was unveiled in the final moments of Fantastic Beasts, fans were indeed stunned, but also concerned. The dark wizard looked so strange. Was he supposed to be comedic? So for the second title in the planned five-film franchise, The Crimes of Grindelwald, the evil wizard’s appearance was “softened and refined,” made to look more natural. Judging by the enthusiastic fan reactions to the film’s final trailer at the end of September, the tweaks worked.

Grindelwald’s evolution was just a small example of how the Fantastic Beasts team leveled up for the sequel. Where to Find Them bore the burden of launching a new Wizarding World franchise with a different cast, setting, time period, and characters. While the movie was largely a success — with solid reviews and $814 million worldwide at the box office — members of the filmmaking team quietly felt that the sequel could (and should) be an improvement over its predecessor.

“When we made the first film [the actors] all thought it was great,” recalls Ezra Miller, who plays troubled young wizard Credence Barebone. “But the department heads — Yates, [production designer] Stuart Craig, [costume designer] Colleen Atwood — were all like, ‘It’s not good enough, it has to get better, it has to get way better, and here are all the things that were wrong with it.’ [Crimes] is a serious push by some of the greatest artists in the game to elevate in a way that’s inspiring to watch and be around.”

That elevation began with Rowling’s script, which largely shifts the action from New York to Paris — a new locale, sure, but returning to Europe feels more Potter-esque. And while the first film was focused heavily on Newt, the sequel is more of an ensemble piece that deepens returning characters, introduces several new ones, and plays like a life-and-death, wartime noir thriller (no whimsical three-minute scenes of Newt demonstrating a mating dance at the zoo with a horny Erumpent).

The setup is that Grindelwald escapes while being transported to a new prison and rallies an army of supporters with his pledge to unify the Wizarding World and rule Muggles. That leaves Hogwarts professor Dumbledore (Jude Law), the dark wizard’s former childhood friend (and perhaps more?), to enlist his expelled former student Newt and, by extension, his American friends — rebellious auror Tina (Katherine Waterston), her telepathic sister Queenie (Alison Sudol), and affable No-Maj Jacob (Dan Fogler). But that’s only the beginning.

“The script is labyrinthian,” says Redmayne, whose introverted beast-wrangler is a bit more comfortable in his own skin this time around. “You’re going down this maze, and Jo [Rowling] is weaving the stories together with such intricacy. Along the way, connections to Harry Potter and secrets are falling at your feet. And there is one…” The Oscar winner pauses, knowing he’s treading into heavy spoiler territory. “I got to the end and my jaw dropped. There was one thing I didn’t see coming.”

“Darker” is a word the cast uses a lot. “Complex” and “fast-paced” are others. The film is more, well, adult — The Crimes of Grindelwald may be the most grown-up of all the Wizarding World titles.

EW caught up with Fogler shortly after he saw the completed film for the first time, and he was as excited as any fan stepping out of a cineplex. “It reminds me a lot of The Empire Strikes Back,” he says. “The first movie is so positive. It’s sweet and lovely. But this time everybody is really put under fire. People are gonna see this, like, a hundred times just to get everything. They’re going to be going nuts that they have to wait for the next one. And Jude Law, oh God, he’s perfect.”

Ah, yes. From the moment that first photo was released of Law as a dashing Dumbledore, even the most discriminating Potter purists admitted he was spot-on as the beloved wizard (and some are rather hot for teacher, with hashtags circulating like #Dumbledaddy and #Dumbledamn). Adding Dumbledore to this prequel pleased Rowling, too, who spent more time visiting the set during this shoot than the first film.

You might assume Dumbledore would be the least mysterious part of this tale since we already know so much about his past and future. Not so. “There are things to resolve from Albus’ life, some of which we know from the story, some of which we don’t know about yet,” Law says, and then comes up with an even better tease: “This is a good riddle. One of the reasons Dumbledore trusts and likes Newt so much is Newt understands and forgives beasts and monsters. And there’s a part of Dumbledore — only a part — that sees himself as a bit of a beast.”

The friendship between Newt and Dumbledore might feel a bit wistful for Harry Potter fans: It’s like a glimpse into what might have been if the future Hogwarts Headmaster had somehow been able to carry on his friendship with the Boy Who Lived into adulthood. Yet Newt, unlike young Potter, can quickly spot Dumbledore’s “for the greater good” manipulations.

“One of the things I love about Newt is he has this naivete and gentleness on the surface, but he’s got quite a steel core,” Redmayne says. “He adores Dumbledore, but he also knows when Dumbledore has crossed a line and isn’t afraid to call him on it.”

Newt’s whip-smart Auror love interest Tina is back as well, going on a mission to hunt down Credence in Paris. “She’s more confident this time. No one is questioning her intellect and instincts,” Waterston says. Yet her character’s love life is a mess thanks to some long-distance-relationship misunderstandings. While fans know Newt and Tina eventually end up together, the duo clearly have no idea. “It’s fun to play something out where the audience is one step ahead and Newt and Tina are the clueless ones,” the actress says.

Newt also has a tense relationship with his older brother, Theseus, played by Callum Turner, who broke his wand during his first day on set during an enthusiastic screen test. Theseus is an uptight careerist and Head of the British Ministry of Magic’s Auror Office, who’s pressuring the rebellious Newt to fall in line with the wizarding government’s plans.

“Theseus wants his brother to stand up and fight [Grindelwald],” says Turner, but the two have conflicting ideas on how to #resist. That Theseus is engaged to Leta Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz) — Newt’s schoolboy crush — complicates matters as well.

Yet perhaps the most intriguing new character is the one fans only discovered last month: Nagini, a circus performer who gives customers one heckuva transformation act as she morphs into a massive snake. South Korean actress Claudia Kim wasn’t told which character she was playing until she arrived for her last audition. A Harry Potter fan since sixth grade, Kim instantly realized Nagini was cursed to eventually become Voldemort’s murderous serpent.

“I was speechless,” she recalls, and then was told that for this final test, she had to pretend to transform into a snake — on the spot. “I instantly felt the heartburn, a lot of insecurity, but you have to empty your head and let your instincts take over,” she says. “If I find [the audition tape] I will destroy it!”

Once on set, Kim worked with a contortionist to perfect her act, infusing her performance with varying degrees of snake-ness. “David would give directions like ‘Can you do 2 percent more snake?'” she says, laughing.

Since her casting was announced, however, some have objected to a person of color playing a character doomed to subservience. Those close to the production disagree with that perspective and note that Kim simply gave the best audition for a standout role. “Claudia Kim is a living god,” Miller declares. “You’re about to get your head blown off. Prepare yourselves for Nagini. This is a tragic and beautiful story.”

Miller should know, as it’s his character, Credence, who teams up with Nagini to form a power couple of sorts: two lost souls with unique magical abilities they can’t entirely control. “Credence has joined the circus, as one does when you’ve killed your foster mom and fled the country,” Miller says glibly. “He’s trying to figure out who he is. They’re two people who don’t really trust anyone who are learning trust for the first time.”

Another challenged couple (actually, every major character in Crimes of Grindelwald is arguably part of a couple, and that’s why the Paris setting is so apt) are Jacob and Queenie, who flee America due to its strict policy against No-Maj/wizard relationships. And guess which charismatic politician is surprisingly in favor of such unions?

“Grindelwald actually sounds like he’s all for love — if you love a Muggle, you should be allowed to be with them, and you should be allowed to marry,” Fogler reveals. “But wizards, he feels, should be on a pedestal. This is very tantalizing to some.”

So hold up. Could the nicest couple in this story, Jacob and Queenie, join Team Grindelwald? They’re not saying, of course, but Sudol notes: “Grindelwald’s like staring at the sun — you’re not supposed to, but he’s hard to look away from. He does very, very bad things.”

And he does them with flair. One of Depp’s improvisational additions was giving the wand-waving Grindelwald a conductor-like rhythm during a key sequence. “When Johnny conducts a barrage of spells he’s like a conductor guiding an orchestra — except instead of creating music he’s effectively creating fiery mayhem and death,” Yates says.

Indeed, the film’s title promises crimes. And that this dark wizard’s deeds are wrapped in divisive rhetoric at rock-concert-style rallies peppered with populist appeal sounds kind of, well, familiar. Is Rowling making — unintentionally or not — some kind of modern political point? Sudol certainly sees one.

“The film is terrifying that it’s so relevant,” she says. “We really need to focus on trying to find commonalities amidst the instability of the world’s climate. When a lot of crazy things are happening, it’s very easy to lose true north.”

Which brings us, quite appropriately, back to Newt, the story’s moral compass. At one point in the movie, Newt tells his brother, “I don’t do sides.” That’s almost a revolutionary stance in hyper-partisan times. But it’s also one that, given the forces at play, is perhaps unsustainable. “You really get the sense that Newt’s always gonna make the right choice,” Fogler says. “In this day and age, that’s very refreshing.”

[timeagainreviews]

The Fabric of Time and Space

Hello friends! It's been quite a busy time for me. Not only did we have a houseguest for about a week, we got a dog! She's an adopted Irish greyhound named Aoife, and she's a good old girl. Needless to say, lots of things happening. I wanted to write sooner so that I could talk about the death of Terrance Dicks, but finding the time was difficult. While Dicks was a bit of an old school writer when it came to women, I absolutely love "The Horror of Fang Rock." However, one of the things for which Dicks was most beloved was his Doctor Who prose. Whether it be the Target novels, or even the BBC range, chances are that if you've read much Doctor Who prose, you've read some Terrance Dicks. Which is why I plan to do something I've never done on here, and that's to review a Doctor Who novel, specifically- The Eight Doctors. Mind you, I'm going to re-read it, just after I finish these Dark Crystal books.

Speaking of Dark Crystal, how many of you have been watching the new prequel? I've been a bit obsessed, myself. It's captured my imagination in a way I haven't felt in years. For those of you not in the know, I was born in the far off year of 1983, just one year after "The Dark Crystal," entered theatres. However, it wasn't until around 1994 that I even became aware it existed. I remember this because the night I bought two Flintstones movie books, there was a display for "The Dark Crystal," in enticingly green Disney style VHS cases. All of these things released around 1994. I was perplexed by this Jim Henson movie that somehow went completely under my radar. I took my books home that night. The Dark Crystal would have to wait a bit longer.

One of the things I loved most about my copy of "The Flintstones: The Official Movie Book," was the pictures of the Jim Henson Creature Workshop fabricating the dinosaur puppets. Something about their ability to create something realistic while still looking like a cartoon resonated with me. I wanted so much to do that job. Since then I've always had a passion for filmmaking and movie magic. Watching "The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance," has rekindled that childhood love I have for the Creature Workshop and character design. As per usual, this got me thinking about Doctor Who. Specifically, its costume design. So I thought I might keep it simple and talk about the costumes of each Doctor. Where better to start than at William Hartnell?

First Doctor

Style: "Edwardian Grandad"

To me, the First Doctor will always look the most like the Doctor the first time we see him in "An Unearthly Child." Topped with an Astrakhan hat and shrouded in a black cape, he cuts a mysterious figure framed by the door of the TARDIS. His costume was a team effort between Maureen Heneghan and William Hartnell who was adamant as to what he would and would not wear. The decision was to make him slightly Edwardian, as the time period would look somewhat out of place, yet not too far removed from the 1960's.

There's something delightfully camp and yet simple to the way he dresses. Nothing about his wardrobe seems out of place. Even his slightly manky fingerless gloves make sense for an old traveller twisting knobs and flicking switches on his fantastical machine. Sometimes leaning on a cane, and other times standing tall holding onto his lapels with his dark ring glinting against the light. He's an enigma and just a touch out of time.

Second Doctor

Style: "Cosmic Hobo"

When the 60's counterculture movement had started to shake up the status quo, we saw learned men like Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert abandon their stuffy collegiate positions for newfound roles as acid gurus. Much like these wild professors, we see the same thing in the Second Doctor's attire. It's as if the First Doctor partied so hard that he regenerated, and his disheveled clothes were whatever he was wearing when he woke up the next morning.

At the time, we had men like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi popularising words like "cosmic," and I believe it caught on in the Doctor Who production offices. Costumers Daphne Dare and Alexandra Tynman really brought a sort of anarchic spirit to the Doctor's attire that I believe has really carried on throughout the series. While I'm glad the stove pipe hat was annexed early on, I loved the additions of things like his giant fur coat held closed with twine. There's something so very Doctory about a man who looks like he sleeps in boxcars that can also attune his mind to build a perfect white cube. He really is far out, man.

Third Doctor

Style: "Space Dandy"

I've heard it said that there are two men that can pull off ruffles- Jimi Hendrix, and Jon Pertwee. And my god, does he ever? Primarily designed by Christine Rawlins, he was influenced by Adam Adamant's wardrobe. However, the biggest inspiration behind his crushed velvet and scarlet lined capes was colour television! Colour! Colour! Colour!

There's a lot of timeliness tied up in his garb. The increasing abundance of colour TV mixed with a post-60's desire to cut loose. This new night-time apparel was a way for gents to relax after a long day in their office suits. Leave it to the alien time traveller to completely ignore this fact and wear said nightwear in the middle of the day. Not only does the Third Doctor introduce a trend of the Doctor stealing his clothes from hospitals, he also marks the first major shift in apparel. The First and Second Doctors may have worn different ties, or trousers, but their overall look remained consistent. The Third Doctor's look adhered more to a wardrobe, or a style of dress. And boy does he have style!

Fourth Doctor

Style: "The Bohemian"

Once again, we see a continuation here of the style of the previous two Doctors. There's a bookishness, mixed with counterculture. Costume designer James Acheson, based a lot of the Fourth Doctor's look on Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec’s painting of his friend Aristide Bruant. Bruant was a man known for his wide brimmed hat and long scarf. As legend has it, Acheson commissioned a woman named Begonia Pope to knit the famous scarf. Only instead of stopping at a sensible length, this witty little knitter used every last spool of yarn she was provided.

As much as I love Tom Baker's costume in it's versatility and appropriate alienness, I am less a fan of the series 18 redesign by June Hudson, which was notoriously meddled with by John Nathan-Turner. While I rather like the new scarf, the all burgundy ensemble with question mark lapels seems to me like the first time the costume felt like a costume. That being said, there is something timeless about Tom Baker's look that even carries on into its various redesigns such as in "The Talons of Weng-Chiang," or "The Horror of Fang Rock." So much so, that even today if I go out in my Thirteenth Doctor cosplay, you always get some joker saying "Hey, where's your scarf?"

Fifth Doctor

Style: "Beige Cricketer Dad"

Before I had ever watched the Fifth Doctor's episodes, I used to look at his costume and contemplate what kind of guy would dress like that. The cricketer uniform with that red piped coat, and those garish pinstripe pyjamas over white trainers is a definite statement, but what is up with that celery? You can imagine my further confusion when I discovered Davison's portrayal was slightly more subdued and less eccentric. It made him almost the weirdest Doctor in that such a normal seeming guy would dress like his five year old picked out his clothes.

Hell, even the celery is there for a pretty mundane reason. It changes purple in the presence of certain poisonous gases. Very practical. They didn't even illustrate this purpose, we were told about it in his last episode! And you know how I feel about "show, don't tell." Regardless, I can't help but kind of love this outfit, question marks and all. I don't know if it's because I'm a fan and we grow to love this show, warts and all, but there's a reason it's on my list of costumes to cosplay. It's unmistakably the Fifth Doctor, even if it doesn't really make much sense.

Sixth Doctor

Style: "Hot Alien Mess"

Out of all of the Doctor Who costumes, I don't think a single one has been more notorious than this one. Unlike the Fifth Doctor's costume which piqued my curiosity, my initial thoughts upon seeing the Sixth Doctor's costume was "Well that was a mistake." And I wasn't wrong, it definitely was too much. Though in many ways, it also marries so well with the rest of his tenure. John Nathan-Turner's goal was to have a completely tasteless costume to match his tasteless vision for the show. He gave poor Pat Godfrey the thankless task of bringing this monstrosity to the screen.

Though, like I said, you do get used to it, as it does fit Colin Baker's irascible narcissist. I totally believe that an alien might find something like that fashionable. Even his little cat badges on his lapels inspire something I think is essential to his character. He's a big loud tomcat yowling until people stop what they're doing and recognise his brilliance. This is another one of those "I can't help but want to cosplay it," outfits. I especially like his tropical look in "The Two Doctors." It would have been nice to see more this variation in his run, such as the original black design or even the blue one we got in other media. Sigh.

Seventh Doctor

Style: "Tweedy Eccentric"

Remember how I mentioned in previous articles that the Seventh Doctor era was a series of course corrections? This is a definite one of those. We're back to something a lot more subtle, like the First or Fourth Doctor's eccentric professor vibes. But my god, those question marks just won't die! You ever have one of those friends who just can't help themselves? You can give them good advice, but at the end of the day, they're still going to do things their way? That's JNT with these goddamn question marks.

I really love the Seventh Doctor's era as I feel like the show was on the up and up. The writing was getting back on track, and Ace and Seven's chemistry was brilliant. So when you look at the Doctor's jumper, it's a kind of visible evidence of JNT being dragged kicking and screaming into this new era. Yet, funnily, when we see the Eighth Doctor movie, the Seventh Doctor's new waistcoat seems somehow less exciting. There's a certain playfulness sacrificed for realism. Perhaps JNT was onto something with his campy vision.

Eighth Doctor

Style: "Anne Rice Vampire Boyfriend"

It's going to be hard for me to view this costume without rose-tinted glasses. The Eighth Doctor is my first Doctor, so his costume will always have a place in my heart as one of the greats. But which costume? Well, of course I mean the first one from the TV movie, but my god has the man had some costume changes! Be it book, comic, or audio, the man has changed his clothes. My favourite being the unjustly maligned "Dark Eyes," variant, as I had always wondered why the Doctor never wore jeans.

Marking the second time the Doctor stole his wardrobe from a hospital, his original costume, designed by Jori Woodman, seems geared toward evoking a more classic look. A little Hartnell, a little Pertwee. For the most part it works, but I could see the argument some have made that it is a bit "costumey." In its defence, it is a costume. By the time we see McGann again in "The Night of the Doctor," we get a more subdued version of the movie look, befitting the modern series. Gotta love a man who can pull off a neckerchief.

War Doctor

Style: "Metrosexual Post-Apocalyptic"

Sadly, there's not a lot of information on the War Doctor's ensemble. But I believe you can learn a lot simply by looking at it. It's design by Howard Burden (who also did the Eighth Doctor redesign), is meant to be a sort of dark in-between of the Eighth and Ninth Doctors. Which makes a lot of sense, really. His costume looks like the clothing of a man at war. Utilitarian in it's form an function, it looks designed for durability and versatility.

I've often felt the War Doctor would not look out of place in the Fallout universe. He still wears the bandolier of a woman he couldn't save in a previous life. So much of his costume is meant to tell a visual story of a Mad Max-style road warrior. Funny then that the man still has the time to form the perfect faux-hawk coiffure and manscaped goatee with just the right amount of neckbeard. It's more of that visual storytelling I love so much- the Doctor may be a man lost at war, but he's still a bit of a narcissist. Brilliant.

Ninth Doctor

Style: "Navvy Bloke"

Christopher Eccleston has been in the news a lot these last few days due to the release of his new book "I Love the Bones of You." We've learned so much about his time as the Doctor that talking about the look of his character has become a bit of a tough subject. A lot of the man's look is now intrinsically tied in his body dysmorphia, which was at its worst when in the role as the Doctor.

I say it's "tough," in that I do want to talk about how he looked like no other Doctor Who came before him. His northern bloke look and sound almost dared the audience to reevaluate the Doctor they thought they knew. His costume is almost a non-costume. Black leather on black trousers with an assortment of dark coloured v-neck jumpers were a far cry from the question marks and long scarves of the Doctors before. Yet despite all of these differences, he quickly dispelled any doubts many longtime viewers had. He was the perfect Doctor to breathe new life into the show. These last few days have shown us just how lucky we are to still have such a man with us.

Tenth Doctor

Style: "Hipster Geek"

People often times call Matt Smith's Doctor a hipster. But who's the one wearing horn rimmed glasses and Chuck Taylors with a form fitting suit? You want to talk about first impressions from a photograph, my first thought was "hipster geek." And I love him for it. David Tennant's Doctor is such a charismatic goofball, that it's hard not to love him. And I honestly can't think of a better costume for him. I will say however that I think this one falls under that "costumey," look I've mentioned before. There's something very Scooby-Doo about a guy who owns two of the same suit in reverse colour.

I also love the simple fact that he's wearing actual Chuck Taylors. I'm surprised more Doctors haven't. Even with the logos on the sides whited out, you can spot the real McCoy (or Tennant) a mile away. Top all of this off with that marvellous coat of his, and you've got a real super hero look. Just picture it- his coat blowing in the breeze as it clings to his matchstick frame, his hair and eyes trembling with Time Lord fury. He's iconic as hell and it's no wonder he's caught the hearts and minds of so many fans.

Eleventh Doctor

Style: "Young Old Man"

I absolutely love Matt Smith's Doctor, especially his early look with the tweed and floppy hair. Ray Holm really came out swinging with this costume as it bred countless one-liners about his bow-ties and love for a good fez. If you've ever seen pictures of other Eleventh Doctor costume concepts, you'd realise what a stroke of genius that bowtie really was. He just doesn't look like the Doctor without it. I believe it was Smith himself who suggested the bowtie.

I would not say I am as onboard with the later purple suit the Doctor wore with Clara. It just lacked the subtlety of the tweed. And that top hat looked especially out of place, which is funny when you consider how good the black top hat looked on him in "Let's Kill Hitler." While I would not say the purple ensemble was a total failure, it's got nothing on his original look. Which, if you'll recall, was also stolen from a hospital.

Twelfth Doctor

Style: "Punk Magician"

Peter Capaldi is the first Doctor I ever had to wait to see the costume reveal. I had gotten into Doctor Who around the tail end of Matt Smith's first series. I remember my first reaction to Howard Burden's costume being something like "Huh." I didn't really love it. Perhaps it was the mixture of it being new, and not having already been established as the Doctor's clothes, but I was slow to come around to it. Capaldi's inspiration behind the costume was David Bowie's "Thin White Duke," persona, which is a telling bit of inspiration considering what a dark point it was in Bowie's life.

For me, the Twelfth Doctor's look truly comes together over time. I think it's somehow tied to his hair. The wilder it got, the more I liked his look. I absolutely love the hoodies and the First Doctor inspired trousers. There's something so perfect about a black jumper bespeckled with holes allowing the white shirt beneath to shine through like stars. The cosmic hobo is back in a punk rock fashion. There's something very lived in about the Twelfth Doctor's style that really resonates with me. He may be the eldest Doctor of the modern series (unless you count John Hurt), but there is something undeniably youthful about him

Thirteenth Doctor

Style: "Godspell Casual"

Jodie's costume was another one of those "Huh," moments for me. It was such a departure from anything before it, bar maybe the Ninth Doctor's jumpers. However, it only took me a few days to get used to, as compared to multiple episodes with Capaldi. A female Doctor was something I had pondered over for such a long time, that I had some expectations as to what she should and shouldn't be wearing. I definitely wanted her in sensible footwear and no floofy skirts. I wanted her like an adventurer. Think Rachel Weisz in "The Mummy." So when she showed up with a pair of high water trousers and comfortable boots, I was pretty happy. It was her t-shirt I was most taken aback by. It seemed a little more casual than I expected, but when you consider she's been a bloke her entire life, having no nonsense clothes is very much the Doctor.

It's not hard to imagine why this was the second Doctor I've cosplayed (the other being Four). There's lots of symbolism tied into the coat that Ray Holm and Whittaker devised together, and I love that they put that much thought into it. At this point it's still early days in her character. Aside from a blink and you miss it scarf or a red shirt, we've not seen a whole lot of wardrobe variation. Rumour has it she'll be donning a pair of black trousers is series 12, which I'm all for. I'd also love to see her wear some grey checked trousers like Hartnell and Troughton. Or even a black and white version of her current look. There's so much versatility possible in her costume. I hope they explore a bit of it.

And that's it for now, friends. I hope you enjoyed this article. I tried to put a little bit of research into it. While I was writing it, this blog turned one year old! I can't believe I've been doing this for a whole year! It's such a wonderful sight to see when you all like the posts and share them. Knowing I've resonated with someone like yourselves feels a little less lonely. Expect to see a Sixth Doctor review corresponding with his blu-ray (I missed the Third Doctor Blu-ray/Pertwee 100th birthday). I'm also planning on covering "The Edge of Time," VR game if they ever decide to release it! Oh and I might start covering the Dark Crystal as well, because I really love that show. I hope you are having a great weekend!

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT Rewatch 4X14 - Enter the Dragon

Sorry for all the delays with these reviews! I’ve really been DRAGON my feet through this whole season, haven’t I? 

...You don’t come here for smart puns, Regina! XD

Anyway, there’s a nice juicy review under the cut!

Main Takeaways

Past

I love how this plays as the evil version of every “young person melts the heart of older person and convinces them to go back to doing what they love” story! While it’s not a parody -- and is in fact played deadly straight -- it’s funny as hell to watch because of that!

It’s kind of weird seeing such vague mentions of Mal’s backstory. All throughout the episode, we hear clues, but are never given anything concrete. I wonder when or even if we ever would’ve gotten a backstory for Mal and Briar Rose.

Present

Wow, I gotta say, considering how DESTROYED Mal was by what Snowing did to her kid, stealing another kid is just horrible (The fact that he’s turned back into August and she may or may not have known that is irrelevant for me since she stealing a son from his father at the end of the day) ! I don’t know if it’s exactly poorly written or not -- a case of extremism turning her into what she hates or mishandling a character who is supposed to be more balanced between being evil and sympathetic. I guess it’s up to interpretation, but given that the there doesn’t get to be a reaction from Marco to Maleficent over the fact considering how big of a deal it is that she reverted a little boy back into being a grown man, I feel forced to say the latter.

This also applies to Regina too, ESPECIALLY considering her conversations with Marco in the last episode and this is more of a problem than I realized. She’s stealing a child, putting him up against three villains, AND disposing any direct means of contact between herself and her backup. And the fact that Rumple reverts him into being August at the end of the episode changes nothing here because that wasn’t an anticipated move. It’s even more distracting given the gravitas of the moment where Emma and Regina try to figure out whether or not to steal him in the first place. Regina says she’s going to protect him and pull out if he’s in danger, but what does she think they’re going to do to him if not threaten his life? Even just the emotional duress of those kind of threats is crazy to do to a kid. And then to drop her phone so he can’t even be tracked? It’s played as this necessary evil, but is never given the payoff to back up what a horrible and reckless thing this was to do. They STOLE his childhood -- what was essentially his happy ending -- and that has to be answered for by ALL involved parties: Maleficent, Regina, and Emma too for ultimately agreeing to this.

This segment has a really interesting theme of not being overly insistent on complete control. Throughout it, Regina insists to her friends that she can handle the Queens of Darkness. Even as the stakes raise, she makes risky and riskier decisions that she says she can manage. This culminates in a horribly risky decision (See above) that, in her insistence in keeping control over the situation and her sureness that she’s right, has Regina abandon her means of getting backup. And this all ends with Regina, forced by her own hand, to relinquish control to Rumple. I think that this is an important lesson for Regina to learn, and while I didn’t like the big decision that she had to make for lack of a proper fallout (I’ll actually discuss in a bit why I choose this episode to take the issue with it), I think the rest of the story is good!

Stream of Consciousness

-Regina, you trying to KILL ME with the cut of that shirt?! Because it is working!

-Damn, Regina is AMAZING at acting evil! XD

-HOW THE FUCK DID YOU CRUSH GLASS?! ARE YOU THE FUCKING HULK? XD

-I love how Regina looks between Mal’s castle and her book like “I’m gonna get my favorite author to sign my book!”

-Wouldn’t someone just win “Don’t Be a Hero” by only saving themselves?

-I love how there were freakin’ BETS on the game! XD

-We got another Henry and Belle scene!!! Tbh, I wish there was a bit more substance here too. Belle ADORES books and this is literally a mystery surrounding a book! Why couldn’t she give him some advice on maybe where to look or just talk about the nature of books! You have two book fans sharing a scene! Why not use that?

-I would KILL to know how Regina’s night of drinking with the Queens of Darkness went! Like, they drank a whole bar! XD

-To be fair, Emma, Regina’s probably not reaching out because she’s hungover as FUCK after DRINKING A WHOLE BAR! XD

-MAL, DRUNK AS FUCK, SINGED A COP CAR! XD WHERE ARE FICS OF THIS! THIS IS THE TRUE SEQUEL TO “THE HANGOVER!” XD

-”Some drinking.” SOME DRINKING? YOU DRANK AND ENTIRE BAR! XD

-I like how Regina’s “pathetic” flame was more of a matter of nervousness than inexperience. It shows that Regina’s learned a lot during her tenure with Rumple while still having a lot of space to grow.

-Maleficent is introduced as a druggie! She literally stabs herself with something that “takes the edge off!” XD

-”You need to remember who you are.” “That Maleficent had a foul temper, and if you insulted her, she’d turn into a dragon and eat your flesh.” Holy hell! My eyes are filled with hearts!

-”Where the hell have you been all night?” I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THAT AS WELL!

-NOW WHAT KIND OF CRAZINESS HAPPENED IN THE VAULT?! XD

-To be fair, Emma, Regina’s been ROCKING this undercover mission so far.

-This episode is full of sexy, badass people, but this cake is the sexiest thing of all!

-”Well, look at which two survivors found a dinghy together.” ...Rumple, HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT BEING KILLIAN? IT’S NOT ESPECIALLY HARD AND YET YOU SOMEHOW FAILED AT IT! It’s like trying to pet a puppy and instead doing a handstand! XD

-I love how Storybrooke can appear on a GPS system! Is someone in town just a really good techie or is Google our new God? XD

-”The only magical thing you’ll find here is duct tape.” Accurate! XD

-”You didn’t ask your questions more forcefully.” Oh trust me, she did. It was scary.

-”One little snafu?” YOU WOULD HAVE TO STEAL A CHILD!

-”Break some rules.” YOU ARE STEALING A CHILD!

-A Pirate’s Oath! XD What the hell? Someone’s just looking to cop a feel!

-I love the fact that it is 100% canon that Regina rode on the back of a dragon. Maleficent gave her the best piggyback ride in the UNIVERSE!

-Wait: GOLD HAS A CABIN?

Favorite Dynamic

Rump-illian and Belle. I absolutely love Rump-illian and Belle’s subplot here. Rumple, for better or worse, knows Belle and is exactly slippery enough to forge a story to get the dagger back for himself but also not infallible as to still fail to  discuss things he wasn’t privy to. Major props have to go to Colin. He’s playing Rumple playing Killian and that is AMAZING! His lines and delivery are just awkward enough to capture Rumple’s failure to perfectly capture Killian, but they’re close enough that they could fool someone who’s just getting to be close with Killian like Belle. He’s always a little off center in how he conducts himself, making the reveal something that could feasibly be guessed but also surprise everyone! And the transitions -- the one at the docks the one as he walks into the pawnshop, and the one outside the pawnshop are done so well as to make the whole subplot even better!

Writer

David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz are in charge of today’s episode! So far, they’ve had a perfect season! But...well… Look. This episode isn't bad, but I do wish the present segment had some more polish. Considering that the three people involved in that final decision are all mothers and to not do more with that idea is really distracting in hindsight.

Rating

8/10. I’m torn about whether or not I should punish this episode for what goes down with Pinocchio. This episode is more setup in that regard than payoff and it’s not bad setup. But at the same time, I do have to ask myself if that payoff was ever going to happen and if it wasn’t, then the setup of something that upon inspection is so fucked up. And I do think that the payoff wasn’t intended to come up -- they had to know -- and so I do find fault with this episode for executing this idea in such an irresponsible way. Otherwise though, the storytelling is really good. Everything makes sense, the story’s engaging, the pacing works, the characters are for the most part in line, and the theme of the past segment lines up in a way that’s subtle, yet effective.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

DRAGON QUEEN - This is my JAM! Look at Regina’s face as Mal enters the room. That is the face of a woman realizing “I am gay for LIFE!” And in the present, could these two flirt any MORE?! <3 Just look at the aspirin scene! Mal and Regina are both letting their guard down (Regina’s being more of a casual spitfire, Mal’s not wearing the jacket and is giving a bit more info), Mal’s helping Regina out a bit, there’s candles everywhere, and there’s a touch of loose tension in the room. It’s enough to make the moment pretty sexy. ALSO, they go on a mission alone and the presentation to it plays out exactly like an impromptu date! This is the BEST! I just love how Regina smiles for Mal. It’s big, but natural and just kind of happy!

Swan Queen - Dude! Emma is so worried about Regina! That panic in her voice is CRAZY and her dedication to having Regina’s back and protecting her really shows how much she cares for Regina! This as some of their best shippy moments by the sheer amount of concern Emma has for her!

Captain Swan - While it doesn’t work exactly, Killian does a really good job assuring Emma that things with Regina will be okay.

Mal/Briar Rose - “What happened to you?” “A Rose. A Briar Rose.” Mal says that line in the same way someone talks about someone who they had a bad breakup with!

-----

Hi!!! Thanks for reading and shout outs to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and to the lovely @daensarah! See you all next time!

Season 4 Total (121/230)

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (34/60) Jane Espenson: (20/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (38/50) Andrew Chambliss: (22/50) Dana Horgan: (6/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (22/40) Scott Nimerfro: (14/30) Tze Chun (8/20)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[taronfanfic]

ABER

Masterlist

Chapter 6

“He won’t be getting any of that anytime soon.”

…

Ooops?

I know, I know. It’s been all of 24 hours and I’m a fucking idiot. Way to go with proving my point, teaching him a lesson or whatever else I thought I’d have the will-power to achieve. Can I blame the champagne? I’d had a LOT of champagne… It is my fault though. I should have stopped things. But if this is what he had in mind when he said to me on the flight over here ‘you will have fun’, then god was he right!

Empty hotel rooms the morning after the night before have a weird feeling to them. David has more work to attend to so I’m writing from beneath the covers of the king sized bed (10/10 for comfort, springy-ness and… room for all activities.). Oh god that really happened, didn’t it? My head is pounding. I’ve not been this hungover since New Year, but it’s a sign that last night was amazing. I can’t lie to you, I don’t regret it. I’m annoyed that I didn’t get to play my own game and make him wait for it, but at the same time if I’d have known it would be that good I’d have dropped the tactics on spooning night. Honestly, embarrassing noises only ever heard in porn videos were filling the room but I couldn’t help it. I just hope he wasn’t disappointed. Nothing worse than the guilt of enjoying sex that the other person hated. I’d just like to note that it also wasn’t weird. I’ve known David my whole life and we were best friends as kids. It wasn’t until two days ago that I’d even thought crossing that line with him was an actual possibility, but now I have it makes me wonder how long he’s been waiting to do it. Have I just been oblivious in the past or is this simply an opportunistic chance at a bit of fun?

If you’re wondering how it even ended up at that point considering the whole he’s a 10, I’m a 4, why the hell does he find me attractive post, then listen up. We spent the evening networking in a bar and he thought it would be funny to have me pretend to be anyone other than myself. As of last night I own a posh restaurant in London, well on it’s way to getting a Michelin Star, I’m a yoga instructor, author, nurse and astronaut! Utterly ridiculous but also totally hilarious after a few glasses of champagne and pointless small talk with people I’m never going to see again. As a result of that my true weakness came from just 5 words.

“Confidence looks sexy on you.”

So there you have it. I’m a self-deprecating 4 who can be pushed up to a modest 6.5 with drunken confidence. Not quite so bad after all then, plus it is nice to be wanted. Maybe me and my new found confidence will go shopping later and buy a more daring outfit… once I’ve shifted this hangover, that is!

BADQ x

***

Another day, another coffee shop. New York felt loud and claustrophobic as your head begged you to go back to bed. The city excitement was wearing thin and you couldn’t wait to get down to LA and get some space, some warm sun on your skin and some much needed peace by the sea. Taron was still at the front of your mind. He was making you smile but his intentions still needed clarifying and there was only one conversation that would clear things up. It wouldn’t be an easy one to have, it wasn’t one you wanted to have, but the longer you left it the more awkward it would become.  

Y/N: So about last night…

You fired off an open ended text as you collected your coffee and made the short walk across to Central Park. Before you’d had chance to find somewhere to sit your phone was ringing in your pocket, Taron’s name in the centre of the screen.

“Hey, you didn’t have to call me.” You answered as your pace slowed.

“Your text sounded ominous and it’s easy to misread the tone so I thought this would be better. Are you okay?”

“Hungover, but good. Don’t let me drink that much champagne ever again.” Taron laughed softly from the other end.

“So about last night…” He fired your own statement back to you.

“Yeah…” There was a long pause as Taron waited for you to continue but you didn’t know what to say.

“You said you had fun.”

“I did.”

“So we’re good then?” He was sounding more confused as the conversation went on. “It’s like I said before we came out here, we’re both adults and if there’s any issues we can talk them through without making it into a big deal. You said you had fun but I feel like there’s a but coming…”

“Ok, so did you invite me out here because you wanted company from a friend or because you wanted sex?” You stopped walking as you asked the question, your mind instantly regretting wording it in that way and your body quickly filling with panic.

“Both.” He laughed. “I thought that would be obvious. I told you I was lonely. We’re both single adults who want to have some fun and that’s exactly what happened last night. We got a bit drunk and… well you know the rest.”

“Right.” You nodded to yourself despite Taron not being able to see you. It was the clarity you needed and his lack of offence allowed you to let some tension go from your shoulders.

“Is that not what you thought this was?”

“Honestly, no. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that you’d be interested in me. We’re leagues apart!”

“Seriously?... Shiiiit.” You could picture his hand rubbing across his forehead as he swore in that way. “So you mean the whole sofa thing was genuine?”

“What?”

“I thought you were deliberately playing hard to get, trying to work up a bit of a chase to get more of a thrill.”

“Taron! I was just being polite when it turned out we’d be sharing a room. I genuinely had no idea until you spooned me and made it perfectly obvious.” The realisation that you had more than one wire crossed was surprisingly helping to lift the atmosphere again.

“Oh god, I am so sorry! I wouldn’t have come on to you that strongly if I knew. I feel like such an idiot. You don’t feel like I forced you into anything do you? That’s the last thing I’d want!”

“No, no. Not at all. I definitely wanted to last night.” You laughed back to him.

“Well that’s a relief!”

“To be honest it probably wouldn’t have happened for a long while if you’d tried to be subtle. I’d have just thought you were joking and never believed that you’d genuinely want to sleep with me.”

“Don’t say that! I’ve always thought you were fit.” He flirted.

“Yeah, yeah. Never acted on it though, did you? Went for Jessica instead.”

“Back then you still looked at me like I was a 7 year old kid. I thought you thought it would be weird!”

“But not now!?”

“Nope.” He replied smugly. “That look you give me has changed. It’s no longer innocent…”

“If you say so, Egerton… I’m glad we’ve clarified everything.”

“Me too. Look after yourself and we’ll catch up later.” He had you smiling again, blushing at how easily he could read your true thoughts despite thinking they were well hidden. He was right too. When he started dating Jessica you still saw him as your 7 year old best friend; wide eyed and innocent as he ran around your kitchen with a red towel tucked in the back of his shirt pretending to be Superman. Kissing him then would have been all kinds of wrong. Your mind-set changed when you saw his interviews for the first Kingsman film. He’d matured overnight and you saw a totally different side to him. He was still Taron, but his cheekiness had an extra charm. He could draw your eye away from Colin Firth and suddenly you were questioning why you’d never noticed how good looking he was before. By that stage he felt so far out of your league that you were safest admiring from a distance, keeping the fun times as childhood memories.

But apparently not anymore. You two weren’t finished with the fun yet…

Tag List: @egerton-sweetie @amanda-tallmadge @lizziespidiepridie​ @leanimal90 @anantheminmyheart22 @aynsleywalker @bohemianrhapsody86 @butterfliesslugswormsandothershi @manners-maketh-taron @livingincompletesilence

[harryjamesheadcanons]

Quick introduction to my favorite, ridiculous, super #extra OC, Aaron Finch-Dursley. 

Aaron Finch is the Muggle older brother of Justin Finch-Fletchley. 

The brothers were really close as kids, though Aaron is two years older. Their parents divorced when the boys were six and four, and their mother was remarried by the next year. Their stepdad Alan Fletchley is a better dad than their own, so much so that he offers his last name to both boys to make it official. Justin, remembering less of their biological dad, adds it to his name. Aaron chooses not to, but still loves him as much as he loves their mom. 

Had Aaron attended Hogwarts, he would have been Sorted Hufflepuff before the hat even settled on his head. He’s kind, patient, and fair enough to rival Helga herself. 

It takes hard work and patience for Justin to be able to explain everything he experiences at Hogwarts and in the Wizarding World, but he is true, loyal, and unafraid of the toil of writing out long, detailed letters. It’s harder than one might think to contextualize everything about Hogwarts, to convey the scale of the moving staircases, the history and mentality of the House Elves, Dumbledore’s omniscience, the Transfiguration coursework. Understanding it all is hard sometimes even for Justin, who lives it every day, but all the same, it just doesn’t seem fair to keep Aaron out. The only time Aaron ever sees Hogwarts is during Justin’s second year, when the family is allowed to visit him in the hospital wing after he’d been Petrified. 

That’s when he suddenly gets it - understands why Justin loves this world so much, and is able to get a clearer picture in his head of what the life of a wizard is even like. 

He has a pretty normal Muggle upbringing, though admittedly he does spend it at Eton. He has a close-knit group of friends that he grows up with, and gets on with nearly everyone around him. He never focuses too much on the coursework, it seems secondary anyway. He befriends the friendless, protects the helpless, and somehow seems to remain on good terms with everyone. 

When he comes out as gay when he’s sixteen, not one person is surprised, but everyone is as accepting as he could have asked them to be. He takes to dating wizarding boys off from Hogwarts for the summers. Eaton is such a dreadfully small dating pool. 

When Justin comes back from his sixth year at Hogwarts, saying that he won’t be able to return the next year because of highly anti-muggleborn sentiments, Aaron is secretly - shamefully - a little bit relieved. It’s gotten more and more dangerous each year, and if the newspaper is to be believed, the ensuing year in full out war would be even worse. 

When a letter from a Muggleborn friend of Justin’s warns that members of Dumbledore’s Army are going to be hunted down more viciously than other Muggleborns, Justin decides to move to America rather than go into hiding. He has some friends help him put wards over their family home to keep their parents safe. 

Since he’s taking a gap year anyway, Aaron tags along. They get a flat in Boston with a couple of roommates - a set of American twins, one witch and one Muggle - and learn the Muggle and Wizarding area surrounding. 

Aaron enrolls in some classes, and does some volunteer work to figure out what he wants to do with the the rest of his life - and ends up settling on an education major. He’s always liked school and thinks sixth form might be ideal to teach - he’ll be able to do some good with kids that age, he decides. 

He decides to take his actual credits when they get home. Justin seems to think that the tension is going to break any week now, and he can give his all in the final battle and then return back to normal life and Hogwarts like he never left it. 

Eventually, he gets a letter from the Muggleborn kid he was Petrified with - Colin - saying that it’s going to happen in a matter of days. They return home, and Justin goes to fight. Aaron and his mother stay the entire night in the Three Broomsticks, under the care of Madame Rosmerta, with some other Muggles whose loved ones are in danger. It’s the worst night of either of their lives. 

But then the war is over, and Justin returns to Hogwarts - to the anxiety of the whole family. Aaron enrolls in university to work towards his teaching degree. Life settles back into what it used to be, even though he still feels stuck in an odd position on the fringes of wizarding society. 

One day, during a summer that feels particularly fortuitous with its Muggle and Muggleborn-friendly legislature and new Ministry programs, Justin drags Aaron to a shop in Diagon Alley. 

Aaron is a little overwhelmed by all the overt wizardingness of it all. He feels a little like he’s missing pieces he should know in order to exist comfortably in this spaces. “God,” he says to Justin, after nearly knocking over a display. “They shouldn’t let Muggles in here.” 

A low slow voice from behind him says, “You wanna say that again?” 

He turns. The guy is cute, smiling a little, and wearing a smock that matches the logo on the outside of the store.

Aaron backpedals frantically. “No no no, I mean - I’m not, I was being - I’m a Muggle.” 

The guy grins. “Yeah, I know. Me too. I heard you ask how many Knuts to a pound.” 

“And I suppose you know? Justin is bloody useless and couldn’t tell me.” 

“God, no. I wish we were using pounds. I promise I know less than your boyfriend does,” the guy says, a question in his voice. 

“My brother, actually,” Aaron corrects with a smile. 

“I’m, uh, Dudley.” 

“Aaron.” 

They learn each other slowly. Dudley is hesitant to show the parts of himself he’d been hiding since the beginning of the war, hesitant to open up about his past, hesitant to let himself be loved. Aaron, though, is patient. And loyal, when he learns the truth. 

They adapt to the two worlds together, living mostly Muggle, although Aaron does help Dudley reconnect with Harry after a few years. It’s rocky, but the fact that Ginny and Aaron become fast friends - and both really want their respective partners to have peace - really helps. 

Aaron finishes his degree, and lands a teaching position in a suburb of London. He enjoys his job teaching history and government, and tries to teach his students to view the world with fairness and patience. 

Dudley gets a data entry job at a firm partnered with Grunnings. 

They rent a little house together, with a garden for Dudley and a huge kitchen for Aaron. Justin, still healing and helping his friends heal, is in and out of their guest room for a number of years, still trying to get back on his wizarding feet and figure out where he fits in the new order of things. When he finally gets a job and his own appartment, Dudley helps Aaron throw a housewarming party for him and some old school friends. 

Aaron does most of the household chores, and most of the cooking - some of Dudley’s leftover spoiled child habits spill over into his adult life, after all - but he’s okay with it. It makes him feel in control of his life, quiet and safe and secure. 

They have their issues, of course: Dudley has food issues that never quite dissipate, and lots of leftover guilt from his childhood. He has some sort of crisis about every other week about whether he deserves this or that good thing. His testy relationship with his parents and his cousins cause unnecessary tension in their lives. Aaron has unrealistic expectations - he thinks life is beautiful and is very comfortable with his place in it, and gets a little uncomfortable when that belief is shaken. He takes on the problems of his friends and family, too, and doesn’t notice the amount of stress he puts on himself that way until it culminates in him blowing up. They work through these things, though, and they’re happy. 

Dudley proposes on the spot one night in their living when Aaron mentions wanting kids during a football match commercial. He hadn’t had a ring or a plan, but it worked out fine. Aaron said yes, and within a year, they were married in a little civil partnership ceremony in the Fletchley’s back garden. Petunia Dursley cried through the whole thing, Vernon Dursley harrumphed uncomfortably at their kiss, but Harry (and his friend Hermione, since Ginny was on off flying for her team) wished them well. As a joke, Aaron throws a bouquet off one of the tables. Justin’s friend Hannah catches it, and her date’s face turns crimson, making Aaron smile proudly.

Their surrogate, Jessica, is a dream, and Aaron’s life changes forever the first time he holds little Myna Jean Dursley in his arms. He cannot imagine, in that moment, ever doing anything besides that, besides holding his daughter and watching her breathe. The feeling isn’t any less strong a year and a half later when he holds Rhea for the first time, although he’s wiser now, and knows the road he has ahead of him. 

Fatherhood suits him quite nicely, him and Dudley both, and their little family is just about as happy as can be. 

There more to him, of course, and I’m probably going to start mentioning him on this blog fairly regularly, but I’ll link back to this post so people don’t think they’ve forgotten about a canon character, haha. If you’re wondering about a visual, Ross Marquand is a great face-cast. 

[angel-gidget]

Fire At My Feet Again (Tim/Cassie, post-Red Robin)

Title:  Fire at my Feet Again Fandom: DCU, Teen Titans, Red Robin (preboot)     Rating:  PG-13 | Words: 4.6K  | a03 link Summary: Tim and Cassie have been assigned to mentor the upcoming new version of Young Justice. Cassie isn’t drunk enough yet to process this turn of events properly. But if she has her say, with Tim’s help, she soon will be.

Set a handful of years after Red Robin. Contains miscellaneous comic references including 90’s YJ. Yet also borrows an element or two from the Young Justice cartoon. Bc I do what I want. Also unbeta’d. Bc impatience.

Note: Also using this fic to fulfill prompts/days 1-3 of Tim Drake Week (First & Lasts, Childhood & Adulthood, Dreams & Reality) bc this sucker took me long enough that I say it counts and I’d like to catch up.

The déjà vu was murder. Cassie wanted to scream at the Justice League that they had the wrong girl, she wasn't a MENTOR, if anything, she was still a MENTEE, but Tim was standing right next to her, giving his Serious Business head-nod, and Cassie realized that if she did, in fact, start screaming at the JLA, she wouldn't be screaming at strangers.

Because screaming at Aquaman and Superman and Batman was one thing, but the NEW Batman was once Nightwing and she didn't really like the idea of screaming at him. She would also be screaming at Vic, who was her friend. And--sweet Hera--she had FRIENDS in the JLA. You're a grown-up now, Cassie. You're a MENTOR now, Cassie.  So is Tim, for that matter. Hell. She didn’t want to admit out loud how familiar it was. How, in the last days before she gave up the Titans, she’d had trouble remembering the names of multiple team members; they had come and gone so quickly. So playing chaperone to a bunch of kids she didn’t know was actually way more familiar of a feeling than it ought to have been. But they weren’t asking her and Tim to be team leaders. They were asking her and Tim to play Red Tornado to their new batch of kids. Not to lead. Just to make sure they didn’t break anything. To help them with reporters.  To save their asses if things got out of hand. To be around if they wanted advice. "You start on Monday." Vick told them. "We start on Monday." Cassie repeated in a daze. When the rest had left, and it was only her and Tim, the feeling that it was real began to press on her lungs. "We start on MONDAY. Oh God." "Cassie? Are you o--Um. I can do it. You don't have to help. I--" "Do you remember what we were like?! You'll need my help. WE may need help. What if they have their own Kon? What if they have their own BART?" "Or Slo-bo." "Oh God." "It'll be okay. They're just as likely to have their own Secret, somebody they'll band around to protect. Or their own Anita, who can radiate reason. Or their own YOU, somebody smart who can represent the team and keep them in line. Ultimately, they'll be themselves and we can just give them the benefit of the doubt. It'll be okay." Maybe it was the truth of his words, or the blatant compliment, but Cassie did feel herself begin to calm down. This wasn’t history repeating itself. It was just a few parallels here and there. And the history wasn't all that bad anyway. When did she get so good at only remembering the rough parts? "I'm good. I swear I am, but I think I need a drink." Tim's smile was weird. Like he was about to be nostalgic, but it was 50/50 whether it was going to be a good idea or not. "I know just the place." She half-expected him to take her to the same zany hole-in-the-wall they went to for his 21st birthday years back, but he surprised her with a Gotham spot she had never seen before. It was kind of on the (conventional) sporty side, and kind of posh. Not really the sort of place she had expect him to go. "This was my dad's favorite place." Cassie shook her head to clear it. She could count on her hand the number of times Tim has talked about his dad with her, and four times out of five, he had been in tears while doing it. "Do you remember Klarion?" Tim asked. "Bum, bum, bum… The witch boy." She wanted to slap herself for completing the obnoxious little tune on autopilot, but decided not to be too hard on herself. It WAS catchy. "Well, when he had us stuck in adult bodies, I got the bright idea that I should go check on my dad in his natural environment." "There is no way that went well." Tim nodded, "He said I reminded him a bit of his son, and he invited me to sit down and have a beer with him." Cassie felt a smirk coming on. "And you had never had a beer in your life." "Correct. I spit it up all over him. And he never learned that the weird guy who chilled with him and wrecked his night was me.”

Cassie chuckled, “So, do you want a beer?”

“Hell, no. Can’t stand the stuff.” It might have been the funky lighting, but as Tim scratched the back of his head, she could swear he was blushing.

“Me neither. Good thing we’re old enough to admit it. Hey bartender!”

Cassie waved at the old man behind the counter. He seemed to be hard of hearing, as he kept cleaning the other end of the bar. She sighed, “Go over the new roster with me.”

“They haven’t got the official—“

“I know you know the biggest candidates for this thing, and I’d like to have a heads up, please and thanks.”

Tim nodded, as he waved his own hand in the old man’s direction to help her out, “Okay. So Lian has already said yes, and if there is a god, she will hopefully end up being team leader…”

Cassie smiled, “Roy Harper’s kid would be good at it. Though Robin will probably fight her for it…”

“Damian will be there under duress. Dick thinks it will be good for him, but the chances are that if he gets out of line…”

“He absolutely won’t listen to you, so I will have to do it. Uhgh.”

Tim gave her a pained laugh, “Thank you in advance?”

Cassie shrugged. She was already beginning to understand why the League was insisting on both of them. There had been some rosters of the Titans that were like that, some deferring only to Robin and some only to Wonder Girl. But by that time, she and Tim had mastered being in-sync to the point that it was a (mostly) doable nightmare.

“Who’s the heaviest hitter we’ll probably have to clean up after?”

Tim steepled his fingers thoughtfully, “That’s a toss-up between Damian’s friend Colin, who is actually an incredibly nice kid, and Jon Kent: our new Superboy-to-be.”

Cassie frowned, “Wait, I thought… what happened to Christopher?”

“You didn’t…?” Tim’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Um, a lot of things happened to Chris. But when he came home from the phantom zone a few months ago, he… well, it wasn’t like when a Robin gets replaced, but he told me it took a lot of adjusting to the fact that an entire time-line crisis had given him a baby brother that was already twelve years old. Last I’ve heard from him, he’s trying to decide on a new code-name and … well, he’s too old for the team.”

She felt her draw drop. “Chris Kent, who was like barely past my hip last I saw him, is TOO OLD for this team? What the hell?!”

“Cassie, the last time you saw him, I was babysitting him because he was ten. And with the phantom zone, well…”

“Well how old is he n—wait. Don’t answer that. Not until I’ve had whiskey, because this  now officially calls for whiskey. BARTENDER. WHISKEY.” The time for being polite and patient had officially passed.

Cassie cradled her head in her hands as she listened to Tim placate the offended bartender, and modify her order. Apparently whiskey wasn’t specific enough. Apparently the brown-eyed little boy she’d last seen wearing little boy shorts and a cartoon character wristwatch was now too freaking old to join Young Justice 2.0.

“So help me, Tim, if you’ve ordered something crazy-expensive, you are buying.”

Tim sighed, and Cassie felt a twinge of guilt. This wasn’t any easier for him. Hell, it might be harder. She knew Damian always made things harder for Tim.

Cassie was both boggled and somewhat grateful that she didn’t have a new Wonder Girl to contend with. Though, now that she thought about it, it did seem almost a shame for one to be missing from the roster… No.

No, she was still too young to be getting mopey over legacies. Not that she hadn’t always dug the idea of an Amazon legacy, but it was supposed to be, like, a general legacy. Not hers. Not yet. And yet…

“I am buying, and you will like it. I promise. It’s only a little expensive, but trust me that you don’t want the default of anything in this place.”

The next thing she knew, she had a strong-smelling double-shot over ice in front of her. It tasted like honey. If honey weren’t made by bees, but instead made by kangaroos kicking her in the face. She decided she liked it.

“Cassie, you’re supposed to sip that.”

She smirked at him, “I’ll sip the next one. Better hope our tab’s on your platinum card.”

He snorted, but didn’t really protest, taking a taste of his own glass.

She observed him.

He closed his eyes and tilted his head as he drank, though not with the speed of someone rushing a shot. It took the shadows off his face for a moment, so she could clearly see the tiredness around his eyes and the faint stubble around his jaw. She faintly recalled that said stubble had come very late in life to him. At the very tail-end of puberty.

She remembered that the first time she had kissed him—mourning Kon’s death in a sea of shattered glass in the Titan’s sublevel—the line from his cheek to his adam’s apple had been completely smooth.

Don’t go there, Cassie.

That was a long time ago, Cassie.

“So… um. So how’s Kon taking the whole codename thing?”

Tim shrugged, blinking his eyes open as he continued to hold the glass near his lips. “You know about as much as I do. He can’t decide what to pick. That is, he agrees that he’s years overdue to shelve “Superboy”, but replacing it is giving him conniptions.” Tim gestured the bartender back to refill her glass.

“That’s about what I know,” Cassie conceded, “But somehow, you always know a little more. So spill.”

As promised, she sipped the next glass. Sipping was like getting kicked by a baby honey-making kangeroo. It was still pretty damn good. She raised her pinky jokingly, which finally got a smile out of Tim that went up to his eyes as he spoke.

“He’s actually been trying to pick Chris’s brain on the matter. While Kon can hardly think of anything, Chris’s knowledge of Kryptonian language and mythology is giving him a ton of ideas and he just can’t choose.”

“Yeah, well. Kon’s gonna have to get used to choosing names in general. And soon.”

Tim’s puzzled expression stopped her cold.

“Oh Hera. He hasn’t told you yet.”

Tim similarly froze, “He… told me there was something he though he’d tell a lot of people in person. Said it wasn’t bad news. But with his new off-world mission, and how, um, busy we both will be… “

Cassie nodded. If Kon wanted to protest, he could blame her.

“M’gann is pregnant.”

It was always fun: managing to surprise Tim with something he’d clearly had absolutely no clue about beforehand. So fun. So rare. He was even choking a bit on his own drink.

“You’re serious. Kon’s going to be… a dad?”

“Totally.”

“Wow. He’s got to be over the moon. Both in a happy and terrified way. I’ll be an honorary uncle. Heh…”

He went serious then, totally quiet. Sometimes Cassie didn’t dig the reminder that she didn’t really have the full specs of the brain of Timothy Drake. But then again, did anyone?

She held back a tiny flinch as Tim set down his drink and put his hand over hers…

“Are you okay?” he practically whispered.

“Yes…?” she mimicked his low voice.

“Because I know you’ve never liked talking about how things ended, but it’s alright to…”

Gears clicked into place.

“Omigod. Tim. I’m fine. Kon and I are both totally over each other. Promise. Seriously, have you been worrying about that for the past five years?”

His face didn’t turn red, but his ears did.

“Hey, you wouldn’t talk about it, okay? And Kon may be my best friend, but… he’s not my only best friend. You and Bart… you can’t think I love you any less. Do you?”

Holy shit. The L-word. From TIM. In a totally platonic sense, of course.

As it should be, Cassie.

She knew Tim had been trained to resist truth serum and torture since his Robin days. Apparently, his own taste in alcohol was considerably more effective if it could get talk of actual feelings out of him.

Focus, Cassie. He asked you a question.

“I know you love me.” She squeaked.

A distinctly fraught look pulled his eyebrows together, and it occurred to Cassie that her assurance didn’t sound very believable.

So she tried again, “I’m serious. I don’t mean that in whatever placating double-meaning Bat-way you guys usually communicate in Gotham. I mean it. I know. You love me. I love you too.”

Those burning ears of his were back, but at least the distressed twist to his forehead had gone away. And that… Cassie knew she’d said enough. Her brain knew, anyway. Her tongue didn’t. “If… if a burning building had you and my mom inside and I only had time to save one, I’d save my mom because she didn’t sign up for the life we did. But I’d be every bit as devastated over losing you as if I had lost her.”

What the hell, Cassie?! Dark escalation much?

She spared a glance at her drink as though it had betrayed her. Was she on glass number two or number three?

Tim just snorted with a smirk, “Me too.”

He took another sip, which seemed to oddly sober his face again, “Though… I’d probably be more devastated if it was you. I… I sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with me considering how fast I recovered from my mom’s death. We weren't  close. I… I wanted us to be. So much. But we weren’t.”

Cassie held her breath. She… she had known that Tim’s mom was out of the picture. That when his dad died, that was it. Officially one of Batman’s orphans. But she’d never…

Apparently, it was Tim’s turn to look at his drink as though it were up to shady behavior.

“I’ve never admitted that out loud to anybody. Not in so many words, anyway.”

They both let the silence breathe a moment, before Cassie tentatively let her curiosity get the best of her.

“What was her name? Wanna tell me about her?”

Tim didn’t look her in the eye, preferring to keep his gaze pinpointed on the single oversized ice cube in his glass, but he nodded.

“Her name was Janet. She um…” A tiny strange grin quirked the side of his mouth and he finally looked up at her through messy black bangs, “Remember that time when your mom invited me and Bart to dinner with you, and she complained for half an hour about the ‘jet-set’ archaeologists who have all the money but half-assed dedication to historical findings? Who are all about the fun and polish?”

“Um, yes?”  Oh gods. Helena Sandsmark’s fifth favorite rant topic. She had hours of material on the unfairness of wealthy socialites’ interaction with the archaeology scene. Cassie always died of embarrassment anytime someone she knew was exposed to even a fraction of it.

“My mom was one of those.”

Cassie slumped in her chair, beginning to feel her own ears turn red.

“Oh gods, I’m sorry—”

And Tim giggled. Giggled. It was… stupid but nice and he kind of sounded like he hadn’t taken in quite enough oxygen at first to do it properly.

“Don’t be, Cass. Your mom didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I wasn’t mad. It was… nice remembering her. She was spoiled, but in a classy kind of way. At least, that’s what my dad would say about it. But he might have been biased. Considering.”

“Considering.” Cassie let a relieved giggle of her own slip.

The silence that followed wasn’t a bad one. She eventually realized that Tim was faintly tapping on the edge of the bar to the tune of the music softly playing over he speakers, though she didn’t recognize the song.

At some point in their conversation, he had let go of her hand, and she tried not to overthink her awareness of that. She also tried not to overthink the fact that she was mentally listing the different ways she might get him to put it back.

She was startled from carefully not contemplating these things when his finger tips continued tapping, but this time against her own fingers lingering on the bar. She saw an expectant expression on his face, and it took her a moment to realize that the music had changed.

Cassie’s eyes widened. Was that.. Mmmm Bop? It was. The one hit from that stupid band that every member of Young Justice has solemnly sworn to hate into eternity was dancing over the speakers.

Some members, however, had been lying through their teeth when taking said oath.

Cassie had been one of them. Apparently, so had Tim.

Their moment of mutually tapping to forbidden tunes was interrupted as the old bar keep slammed a giant pink drink in front of Cassie’s nose.

“From th’ gentleman.” The man muttered, tottering away.

Cassie frowned. Tim seemed to be on the case, however, as he made a subtle pointing down the bar. She looked over her shoulder and saw the guy. He was tall and broad, with a lear and patch of scruff on his chin that reminded Cassie of Tim’s old Mr. Sarcastic disguise. Just… without the sarcasm. His target of choice hadn’t accepted the drink yet, and he was already elbowing his buddies and preparing to stand.

“He looks like the pushy type to me,” Cassie muttered, “Mr. Detective?”

Tim gave a small sigh, “I’m inclined to agree. How do you want to play this?”

There were a lot of correct choices. Not the least of which was taking the drink and pretending it meant nothing. Making eye contact and firmly pushing the drink away was a fair call too. If Mr. Pushy pushed, well… It would hardly be any skin off her back to return the favor. But a hero was always supposed to avoid escalating the situation or provoking it. Such was the correct choice.

You’re going to be a mentor, Cassie.

Meaning—she replied to the voice in her head— that if she was going to do something wild and on the side of crazy, it had to be tonight. So, she grabbed Tim’s hand and whispered in his ear.

“Pretend to be my boyfriend.”

His eyes went comically wide for a fraction of a second, but the next instant, he was giving her a succinct nod of the head.

She felt his fingertips slide up to her jaw, pinpricks of cold from the condensation of his drink. She barely registered the procession from one moment to the next as his lips were suddenly touching hers.

Barely touching. Very lightly.

But staying. Not a peck.

Rather, a quick brush followed by a very slow second brush.  

Her eyes slipped closed, acknowledging that the feeling was nice, if unexpected.

She held still everywhere save her mouth, mimicking his movement until she could breathe in the honey-tang from his breath instead of her own.

She then set her icy fingernails against his cheek, as was only fair.

He gave a quick inhale that let her know she had startled him back.

“Two for flinching.” She chuckled against his mouth.

In an instant, she wanted desperately to see his expression, but he ducked his head to whisper in her ear again.

“Why go back to competing when we’ve gotten so good at teaming up?”

Tim thought he was so clever sometimes. She wanted to agree and roll her eyes at the same time. She was about to reply when something in the shift of his shoulders told her they had trouble.

“What is it?”

“Pushy Type has strolled out with his friends, but they went around the alley area of the building without grabbing a ride and none of them had car keys.”

Cassie hissed, “They wanna jump us? Are you serious? This neighborhood sucks.”

Tim pulled back far enough that could see his face. There was some uncertainty there that he was doing his utmost to hide, but Cassie was too familiar with it to be fooled by it anymore.

Goddess. He liked it. He liked it as much as I did.

And now he’s wondering if he messed up.

“Tim—“

“I know the corner they’ve picked. No cameras, no witnesses. They’d be… very surprised to not have the advantage. We could change into uniform in the restrooms and sneak out the back of the kitchen. It’ll be fun.”

And… he was off. He even left the barstool he’d been sitting on spinning.

Fine.

Stupid bat-birds and their emotional issues.

She’d let him get away with it for now.

——

Two hours later, they stumbled into Tim’s apartment dripping wet, with an unanticipated number of cuts and bruises.

“Fun, you said. We intimidate them and they’ll re-think their life-choices, you said.” Cassie scoffed.

Tim clutched his bruised rib, “I didn’t know C-listers were developing their own knock-off venom pills these days. It’s a recent development.”

His other arm was over her shoulder, keeping weight off his bruised ankle. If knock-off venom could punch her right into him, she didn’t want to think about what the original Bane could probably do.

But it probably didn’t help that they were both a little tipsy. While Tim might not have guessed that Mr. Pushy—who had wanted to be called The Dejector, of all things, yeesh—would be carrying supervillain steroids, they both would have resolved the fight a lot faster if they had both been sober and had their minds off… well.. The Thing they were avoiding talking about.

After they had the perps bagged and tied for the Gotham PD, Tim had decided to play it safe and not drive his motorcycle back. Cassie had similarly decided against flying.

So they had walked.

And then it rained.

Because Gotham.

Cassie carefully set Tim down on his couch. She then followed his directions to find the first aid kit as he began to check himself for damage.

“Just so we’re clear: I’m not actually mad, Tim. Just grumpy. I had plans for tonight. They didn’t involve this many scrapes.”

“I… Oh.” He froze, “I didn’t know I was keeping you. Sorry.”

“You’re not,” Cassie corrected, setting the kit down by his foot and she cinched up the leg of his jeans. (The nice thing about his crazy expensive wardrobe: there was some extra stretch to the denim.) “You were at the center of the plans.”

“Oh.” He tensed again, and Cassie worried for a moment that she had hurt him just by applying ice. But as she looked up, she realized his ears were red again.

Okay, Wonder Girl. Time to be brave.

“Confession time. So… you already know I love you. We got that out of the way. The big secret is that I also might… kinda like you on top of that.”

Tim snorted, but it was with a tiny hopeful smile on his face that quickly smoothed itself out to boarder-line sly.

“Oh really?”

If he was gonna be that way about it, there was no need to be delicate with the application of the ice. He flinched for real.

“Yeah,” Cassie muttered, meeting his eye, “Funny how that works.”

“Funny how it’s mutual.” He panted.

Cassie blinked. “Does this mean we…?”

“If you want.” Tim whispered.

She kissed him.

Sweat, rainwater, scrapes and all. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, and even when she bumped his foot and his leg tensed, he still clutched back.

It was hard to tell who’s idea it was to lean back into the couch. Definitely her idea to start lifting his shirt off. His hair was just long enough that damp tendrils lingered where his neck met his shoulders and she didn’t resist the temptation to run her hands through it. He rolled into the movement like a cat with his eyes closed, and something like déjà vu struck her for the second time that day.

For all that Tim’s everyday body language exuded a polite distance, actually touching him was so very different. Kind of like a sunflower desperate for a hint of light. As if no one had held him for years. Maybe no one had.

Rain still clung to her own hair as well, water droplets shaking loose from assorted strands of her blond hair. They splashed onto Tim’s chest, making him shiver.

She knew he could resist the cold, if he wanted. He could use a simple stretch of his own self control to curb his reactions, but he chose not to. Chose to let her see it, and the thought lit something warm in her chest.

She leaned in close again, feeling her own shirt slide up, enjoying the contrast of warmth where their stomaches touched and cold where their hair got in the way. Tim was the one doing the kissing then, returning to that slow brush he seemed to have perfected, only against her neck instead of her lips. His arms held tight, tighter. And she gladly returned the favor until—

“OUCH!”

His whole body tensed, but Cassie knew it was the foot.

The Achilles Heel, as mom would say.

“Guess it would be more fun to save the rest for when we’re both in one piece, huh?”

Tim sighed, “‘Rest’ implies a finite amount. Was going more for an indefinite sort of plan.”

Cassie grinned.

“I’ll remember that. Now where are your towels, Young Man Wonder?”

He scowled at her, but he gave up the location of the towels. And the location of his popcorn machine. And blankets. And spare pyjamas. And dvd collection.

I could get very used to this.

She was cuddled in his arms on the couch again, but this time calm and dry with antibiotics gently applied to her minor scratches.

“It’s different this time, you know. I can feel it.” She whispered.

Tim stirred beneath her, though he took a moment to speak.

“You mean… us?”

She nodded against his chest, “Us. The vibe of it. The… the kissing. It’s different. We’re different.”

She didn’t have the energy to lift her head, but she felt him nod all the same.

“Last time, we were in a bad place. Now we’re in a good one.”

She smiled against him and trusted that he could feel it, “Even if you have to face down the Damian squad on Monday?”

“It won’t be Damian’s squad. Not immediately, anyway. But yes. Even then. We can do this. Together.”

Cassie threaded her fingers through Tim’s as her eyes fluttered shut for the night.

She believed him.

F.I.N.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 1x09-- Self Condemned

In which I ramble about memory pops and repeat myself several times. I’d say I was trying to capture the stream-of-consciousness feeling of the episode, but really, I’m just too lazy to edit this. 

This episode kicks off at 9:03 am. There’s a title card announcing this fact. I’m not sure why we need to know exactly what time it is, since lines about breakfast, mid-morning snack, and lunch could’ve conveyed the passage of time better than a title card. And since the time cards just kinda disappear as the episode goes on.

Maia and Lucca are waiting for Maia to be interviewed about her parents’ scheme. It seems like Lucca is Maia’s lawyer now, which I don’t love: what happened to Yesha?! I won’t complain too much, though, because I want Maia/Lucca scenes and I want Maia to feel like part of the rest of the show. But I also want to know where Yesha disappeared to.

Lucca briefly summarizes the rules of today’s interview: Maia is here voluntarily and nothing she shares in this interview can be used against her.

“Was your first year anything like this?” Maia asks Lucca. Good question. Maia has a lot on her plate, but this is still her first job. As someone who’s still in her first year out of college, I was excited to see the Kings’ take on a character who’s going through the same things I am (even if our careers and our circumstances are very different). But we’ve barely gotten any of that. And, while it’s not necessary that the writers focus on this aspect of Maia’s life (she does have bigger things to worry about, after all!), it’s something the writers could look at to add to Maia’s development. Alicia was always dealing with the sex scandal, dealing with the conspiracy/trial drama surrounding Peter, being a mother, and adjusting to going back to work and fighting for her job in her competition with Cary. Maia may not be juggling quite as many roles as Alicia was, but even still: she plays roles other than Daughter of a Scandal. She is a new lawyer. She is someone’s girlfriend. She is Diane’s goddaughter. There is no lack of potential material for Maia, which is why I’ve been (and will continue to be) so harsh on the writers for the way they have(n’t) developed her.

(And it wouldn’t even hurt the show or take up too much time to show Maia in other roles! It would make the show more coherent to have her at work more often; it would give Diane more material if she and Maia interacted more frequently; it would make everything a lot better if we got to see more of Maia and Amy’s relationship. And, if the Rindell Fund stuff needed to be minimized to make room to show Maia doing other things, so be it. That plot is in desperate need of trimming anyway.)

Lucca responds that no, her first year wasn’t anything like this (well of course it wasn’t; she was working as a bar attorney). She has a feeling her fourth year will be, though. Foreshadowing…

“You’re weathering it well,” Lucca tells Maia. Maia thanks her, and then it’s time for her interview. Hey! Wouldn’t this line play a lot better if we could see that Maia is either putting on an act and everything’s getting to her or that Maia has a strategy for dealing with this? Again (I’m going to say this a lot in this recap), we got that kind of development for Alicia. And Alicia didn’t have a live-in significant other she could talk to about anything.

Lucca and Maia walk into an interrogation room filled with lights, cameras, and a half-dozen FBI agents. “Oh, come on!” Lucca exclaims. But it turns out they’re in a different room with only one interviewer, played by Jane Lynch. The hallway is being painted and they have to go through the interrogation room because quirkiness. Also quirky: Madeline Starkey’s office, which is stuffed with all sorts of trinkets. And, if there weren’t enough quirk already in this scene, birds sometimes fly into Starkey’s window because they think it’s the sky. Lovely. Dead birds are quirk now.

Starkey explains with more specificity what Maia’s there to do, and mentions that the terms only apply if Maia is truthful. It’s a felony to lie to a federal agent, Starkey reminds her. Maia knows exactly what law that is.

“Maia, let’s talk about your parents. How did this Ponzi scheme begin?” Starkey asks first. Well that’s a broad question Maia wouldn’t necessarily know the answer to. (This is Starkey’s play—I don’t believe for a minute she’s interested in anything other than catching Maia in a lie.) Lucca answers for Maia, so Starkey rephrases. She wants Maia to share anything that comes to mind about her parents or about her Uncle Jackson. So, basically, she wants memory pops.

Meanwhile at the firm, Adrian needs Diane to help with another police brutality case. He has friends at County, so he knows when a new case pops up. And, this is an interesting one: the cop involved is Andrew Theroux, the same cop as the case from F101. If they fight this right, they can get this cop kicked off the force.

Adrian and Diane arrive at County and try to find their new client. They assume it’s a young black man who doesn’t look like he’s been involved in a physical altercation and who says he’s in there on a possession charge (but he didn’t do it).

Their real client? None other than Colin Sweeney. “Oh, Dear God,” Diane says when she sees him. Sweeney’s excited to see Diane. He asks if “Alee-see-ah” called her because she said she couldn’t take his case. Couldn’t or didn’t want to? I demand answers. (Nah, I don’t demand answers. I’m just glad this line is in here, since Sweeney’s one of those guest stars who mainly interacted with Alicia. He was always so fixated on her that her absence needs to be acknowledged for it to make even the slightest bit of sense that anyone else would be defending him.

Sweeney tells Adrian that “they’re out to get me. The same way they did with Rodney King.” EL-OH-EL. RIGHT.

Adrian and Diane (who thinks Sweeney is “the devil”) don’t like that they’re going to have to represent Sweeney, but they know this is a way to get the corrupt cop kicked off the force. The ends justify the means. (The show did as good of a job as they possibly could have—between this explanation and the Alicia reference—of bringing Sweeney onto TGF. He’s one of the guest stars that I think TGW used a little too frequently, but I’ll allow.)

Back in the FBI interview, Starkey gives Maia a date: the first criminal act took place on September 15th, 2008. I typed this date into my email inbox to see what I was up to then. Apparently, that’s the day I sent my first email to someone who’s now one of my best friends. (It was a link to the first Tina Fey as Sarah Palin sketch. How 2008.)

Anyway, Maia says, as any reasonable person asked to recall something that happened on some day nine years ago would, that that was a long time ago. “I would’ve been seventeen,” Maia says. So Maia’s 26 (possibly 27) now. “I was probably in school,” she continues.

Starkey points out it was the day Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, and that jogs Maia’s memory, which means… MEMORY POPS!

Maia remembers herself doing homework as the news played in the background. She’s at home, at the dining room table, still wearing her school uniform. (Maia went to private school, it seems, but that’s the least surprising reveal ever.) Also, sorry, but giving Maia really curly hair and a school uniform doesn’t make me believe that 30 year old Rose looks seventeen. It does, however, make it look like Maia grew up in a different era.

Maia remembers her parents panicking over the news. So far, these memory pops are nothing special, but it’s still early. They’re mostly a way of illustrating information, and that’s fine.

Starkey moves on to asking about an investor, and Maia says she remembers him being at her house on September 15th. She adds that Jax was there too. Maia has a good memory! (For some reason, all of this is making me think of the opening of Serial.)

She specifically remembers that the investor would be out eight million dollars if he pulled his money out, so her family told him to keep his money in.

She estimates that this must’ve been around 4 pm because she was still doing her homework. Girl, I was still doing my homework at 10 pm and was barely home from school by 4. Are you sure about this time frame? And if you are, what sort of school did you go to where you had so little homework you wouldn’t have been working on it much later than 4?! She also remembers that their guest was gone before dinner. This has gotten super specific.

Maia remembers that her parents discussed work over dinner. And this is where I want more from the memory pops. Maia is going through a time in her life where she’s reevaluating everything she thought she knew and questioning the perfect family she thought she had. Sure, Starkey is asking about one specific date, but wouldn’t it be cool if, for example, we saw flashes of lots of “typical Rindell family dinners” before we saw the one Maia remembers on September 15th? Did the Rindells always sit down to dinner together? Was that something they made a point of doing, something that Maia remembers fondly from her childhood? When she thinks about this particular dinner, is she only thinking about that dinner, or is she making a composite memory of lots of dinners? It is not interesting to me that Maia had dinner with her parents on September 15th, 2008. It’s not even interesting to me that Maia thinks she had dinner with her parents on that date. But it would be very interesting to me if I knew that the Rindells always sat down as a family for dinner.

Starkey has Lenore’s calendar from 2008, and it contradicts Maia’s recollection because Maia had a gyno appointment at 3 pm. Damn, her school must’ve let out early. Starkey wants to know how Maia remembers seeing Jax at 4 if this is the case. Uh? Because it was nine years ago and Maia gave you estimate times? (Lucca points this out.)

“I know that memory can be faulty. I’m just trying to get to the truth,” Starkey says. That’s a good thesis statement for what memory pops are meant to illustrate.

Maia does remember a gyno appointment, and her mom speaking with someone in the waiting room. She tells Starkey she was there. Why!? She remembers it was on that day? Why did you say yes, Maia? She says maybe she saw Jax and the investor later, which calls everything she’s said into question.

Starkey says it would’ve been impossible for Maia to be home by 4 because of the distance from the doctor’s office to Maia’s house. Maybe the appointment lasted 15 minutes. Maybe Maia got there early. Maybe she saw them at 4:30. I don’t get why Starkey is so stuck on the times adding up exactly. Or maybe she doesn’t care at all and she just wants to have reason to tell her bosses she suspects Maia’s a liar.

(Memory is malleable—note how Maia’s mental image of that day changes every time Starkey introduces a new piece of information. If Starkey said “you had fish for dinner that night, your father told me,” Maia would probably start imagining fish on the dinner plates.)

It would’ve been 5:30 by the time they got home, apparently. That’s a lot of traffic. And the housekeeper said she served dinner right at 5:30. And Jax said he was never there at all. I am not convinced by Starkey’s argument, though I also don’t trust Maia’s memories to be objective. I’m sure, in 2008, she overheard more than one discussion about the recession.

Starkey starts talking about some show she was on when she was eight, and then says that when she saw photos, she realized her memory was wrong. “The mind has a way of turning wishful thinking into actual memories,” Starkey says. That’s true. Not sure if that’s what’s going on here, but it’s true.

Lucca stops the interview. She and Maia have trouble exiting Starkey’s office because quirkiness.

Lucca, smartly, notes that Starkey is trying to catch Maia in lies. She advises Maia to only talk about specific memories. “I don’t want to hurt my dad,” Maia says. That’s obvious. She’s still—in her mind—making Jax out to be the villain, even after all the shit her father’s put her through these past few weeks. And this episode would’ve been the perfect time to find out why Maia’s so loyal to her father. “He’s her father” stopped being an adequate explanation the first time she broke the law to protect him. What produced this kind of loyalty? What kinds of values did her parents instill in her? Since she’s an only child, was she very close with her parents? Would her dad always, always find time to ask about her day, to help her with her homework, to offer to read over her essays? Would they chat about the news together?

This is connected to another problem I have with the Rindells, one I’ve touched on before. Maia’s parents are cartoon villains. Maybe if in just one scene either of them behaved like a human being, I’d have an easier time believing that Maia would care about them. Peter Florrick was always more than just Scumbag In Prison Who Cheated on Alicia. Remember Just Because Day? I think it’s in episode W1x04. It’s exactly what I would want from Maia and her parents: Alicia’s asked what she was doing on a specific date and goes to find information. She stumbles across a video from that date, and it refreshes her memory. But, before she realizes that Peter must’ve been with her the entire day, and not off breaking the law, she’s nervous. The video starts out with Peter in bed, and we don’t need to literally see inside Alicia’s mind to know that she thinks she’s found a sex tape. Now that she knows that Peter’s a cheater, she can’t help but see everything through that lens. She relaxes when she sees Zach and Grace on the camera, and then she recalls how wonderful her family was before the scandal—how good Peter was with the kids; how he surprised her “just because.” That’s a lot of information about Alicia (AND something that adds dimension to Peter) in one scene where all she does is watch a tape. How come we don’t get that much information about Maia when we get a glimpse into her mind?  

(Yes, I know the point of these memory pops is to show that Maia knew all along but ignored the warning signs. My point is that I would love to see memory pops that suggest why she was willfully ignorant for so long.)

(I don’t know where to put this point so I may as well put it here: I would like this episode far, far more if it had been placed earlier in the season. Maia realizing she knew all along and is covering for her parents is a big deal, but it’s less of a big deal when she’s been suspicious of her mom for weeks, read her father’s suicide note about his “crimes”, and, oh yeah, made the choice to let her father stay in prison for the rest of his life rather than risk hurting anyone else. This is the kind of realization that would’ve added a lot of depth to Maia early on but feels too late now.)

(On a similar note, I would prefer it if Maia came to this realization through either a conversation—in private—with her lawyer or a heart-to-heart with Amy. I don’t give a shit about continuing investigations into the Rindells, and Madeline Starkey isn’t the only person in the world who could prompt Maia to question the accuracy of her memories.)

“If you lie to protect your dad, you might get him off. But you’ll end up in jail,” Lucca explains. Wait. This is still a question?! I know these legal cases take time but can we please be done with this one? Also: if this is Maia’s way of feeling guilty about her father’s suicide attempt and how she sided with Diane and the firm over her family, maaaaaaaaaaaaybe the episode could be clearer about that????

My overall feeling about the memory pops in this episode is: They’re better than standard flashbacks and they convey what they need to about Maia feeling guilty. But there was still a lot of character detail missing.

Also: I’m sure my disappointment has something to do with how little I care about Maia, even nearly at the end of the first season. There was always very little chance of me becoming as invested in Maia as I was in Alicia, so this isn’t entirely the show’s fault. But I don’t think it’s all a matter of personal preference. I won’t get into it yet again, but I think there are lots of ways that the writers could have made Maia a more interesting, three-dimensional character.

In court, there’s some sort of unfunny joke about a judge in a wheelchair who doesn’t want any help going up a ramp. I want to believe this is just to show us that the judge is the kind of person who insists on doing everything himself without asking for help, but it kind of seems like I’m supposed to find it quirky and funny that he’s in a wheelchair and can’t wheel himself up a ramp. It is neither quirky nor funny; it’s just offensive.

Case stuff happens. Sweeney says “all lives matter” and Diane shushes him. (“Shut up, Colin. I’m finally on your side.”) (Hey, speaking of people named Colin, where’s Colin Morello at this week? I don’t miss him, but where is he?) (Marissa’s not in this episode either.) (And Barbara may as well not be in this episode because they don’t give her much to do.)

My new favorite thing is lawyers on this show laughing because the law works in bizarre and wonderful ways sometimes. It happens at least twice in this episode and it happened last week too.

More birds fly into Starkey’s windows as Lucca and Maia return for more questioning. Starkey hands Maia her mother’s calendar. For some reason, Maia keeps remembering her mom leaning in close to Jax (first they’re both blurred out) when she’s at the appointments. I think this is meant to indicate that it’s slowly coming into focus for her that all her appointments were covers for her mom’s affair with Jax. But I’m not sure that makes sense. It’s not like Maia never went to the doctor, and I don’t know why she’d go straight to realizing it was a cover for an affair (Starkey hasn’t suggested that yet at this point).

Maia’s supposed to mark all the appointments she remembers on a print-out of her mom’s calendar. She remembers her mom talking to a gynecologist and so she puts a check next to that appointment. Okay but Maia, you going to the gynecologist doesn’t mean you went on that exact day.

Maia remembers lots of gyno appointments. Is there supposed to be a point to this? Or is it just to let us know that she had a boyfriend before she had a girlfriend?

Starkey then says that Lenore wasn’t at the appointments: she was sleeping with Jax. This is so aggravating to me. These things happened nine years ago. But Starkey is right: Maia shouldn’t be confirming things if they’re not true. When I buy lunch multiple times in a week, a week later, I can’t remember which day I bought a sandwich and which day I got pasta, even if I remember that I bought a sandwich one day and pasta another day. I really don’t get why Maia is confirming anything instead of second-guessing herself. (But then, maybe Maia just thinks differently than I do.)

Also just taking a second to acknowledge that Lenore Rindell is a shitty person. 

Maia imagines her mother and Jax kissing in the hallway of her gynecologist’s office. She pictures herself turning away. This didn’t happen in reality (they were not carrying on an affair in her gyno’s office, I’m like 99.9999% sure)—this is Maia processing information. Get it? She sees the truth and turns away.

So now the question is: did Maia suspect anything? She sees herself turning around, like it was right in front of her. No, she says. She didn’t. Starkey wants to know if she ever suspected her parents of the Ponzi scheme, and Lucca insists on a break. Good call, Lucca.

At RBK, a guy from COPA is falling asleep on Adrian’s desk. Barbara and Adrian tell the COPA guy about their latest case. He’s interested when he hears which cop was involved. But when they tell him the victim is Sweeney… COPA guy laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. He rips up his notes and leaves, still laughing. He is my new hero.

Case stuff happens.

Maia looks at her contacts list in her phone. Lucca calls her in for more of the interview. Starkey offers them candy and makes up a story about her husband. Lucca calls her out on it—she googled Starkey. Seems Starkey is lying about whatever she feels like lying about. But she is good at her job, according to the interwebs.

Starkey responds by threatening Lucca. Cool.

Her next questions are about the Rindell Foundation. Maia is one of three board members. Starkey asks when the board last met. Apparently, years ago. In June 2011. And they never met again. MAIA. HOW ARE YOU ON THE BOARD OF A FOUNDATION THAT HASN’T HAD A BOARD MEETING IN SIX YEARS WITHOUT THINKING THAT’S SUSPICIOUS? (Later, we’ll see Maia say she cared about the cause, but actions speak louder than words.)  

I don’t think I’m supposed to be on Maia’s side on this. I don’t think it makes her a criminal or complicit that she wasn’t more involved. But it does make her willfully ignorant, and neglectful (not in a legal sense, because I don’t know anything about the law). Maia’s led a life so full of privilege she doesn’t immediately think this is strange. And she’s so comfortable with her life, she doesn’t do anything that could cause a stir. It’s no wonder she feels guilty.

Maia explains that the foundation wasn’t her idea, but it was a good cause. I’m trying not to judge Maia for this, but I’m failing. I’m sure most eighteen year olds wouldn’t like it if their parents tried to force them into running a foundation, but it takes a certain type of privilege to hear about a foundation (even as an eighteen year old) and go, “ugh, daddy, this is a good cause but why do I have to deal with it?” instead of thinking, “This is an opportunity for me to do good for other people; let me make sure I get people involved to manage these initiatives.”

In Maia’s defense, she does remember asking how much they were sending. “It’s a lot, honey,” is all she remembers her dad telling her. “I don’t know,” she realizes. And she was okay with that.

She remembers asking again, that same night, while making pizza with her dad. “Yeah, but Dad, I mean, it’s got my name on it,” she said. Henry said Jax would open the books to her in a few weeks. We don’t get confirmation on whether or not that happened. My guess? Maia never followed up, because it would’ve been uncomfortable to follow up, and she was preoccupied with her own life.

Case stuff happens. It’s good for the RBK team.

Now we’re in a memory pop without first seeing Maia, which is a transition I do not like at all because it makes the memory pop seem like a flashback and not a memory. Henry, and a bunch of guests including Diane, are singing Happy Birthday to Maia. It’s her eighteenth birthday, Starkey explains: the day the Rindell Foundation was established.

“My parents, they, they knew I was interested in Africa,” Maia says, explaining why the foundation was gifted to her. OH YES, I CAN TELL YOU WERE INTERESTED IN AFRICA FROM THE WAY YOU REFER TO IT (IN THE PRESENT!) AS THOUGH IT’S A SINGLE COUNTRY. And from the way you totally knew what your foundation was doing (or not doing). And from all those board meetings over the years.  

(I try not to judge characters and to understand them instead but oh my god, how can I not judge someone who says things like, “My parents knew I was interested in Africa.”????)

Next question: Was Amy at Maia’s birthday party? Yes, she was. Maia remembers that clearly, romantically. She pictures Amy smiling at her, looking directly at her, noticing her, standing out from the crowd.

It was the night Maia and Amy met! That’s exciting backstory! And, we get confirmation on an age difference: Amy was entering law school when Maia turned 18. I didn’t think the age gap was that big! Like, that makes Amy in these memory pops the age I am now, and the idea of dating an 18 year old now is like, LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL YOU’RE A CHILD. The age gap isn’t what’s strange to me—it’s not that big of a gap. It’s the gap in maturity and experience that strikes me as odd. But hey, it worked out for them, so who am I to judge?

(Good to get confirmation that Amy’s supposed to be four/five years older. That sounds about right.)

Maia’s boyfriend was there that night, but she ended up making out with Amy anyway. That escalated quickly.

Starkey also asks if Diane was there. Maia remembers her singing Happy Birthday. Of course, we don’t get to hear it, even though this is the closest we’ve ever gotten to Christine Baranski singing on the show.

Starkey wants to know if Diane offered legal advice to Maia’s parents in Maia’s presence. Lucca cuts in before I can type out, “isn’t that hearsay?”

Diane’s talking about a case she’s on, a guy who’s accused of killing a hedge fund manager who worked with Madoff. I don’t know if the timeline adds up or not, but it’s possible this is the case from W1x15, which has a case with that premise. Also, 1x15 is a really good episode and I just rewatched it last weekend. And one of the filming locations in that episode is the Rindell mansion. It’s where a corrupt hedge fund manager lived. I know that’s not intentional, but HA! (Sorry, Maia, but seeing Alicia walk through your house doesn’t do you any favors.)

(I CAN’T STOP COMPARING MAIA TO ALICIA. I HAVE BECOME THE TYPE OF FAN I CAN’T STAND.)

Maia’s torn between the pleasant memory of Amy and the unpleasant memory of Diane and her parents talking about the Madoffs. In Maia’s mind, Diane says, “I think [Madoff’s wife] didn’t know because she didn’t want to know.” Huh, I wonder where Maia got that piece of dialogue to insert into her memory. 

“How could she not know?” Diane says, and it sounds like a judgment of Maia.

Since the foundation was being used as a front and Maia’s name is on the contract, Maia’s legally responsible for any of her parents’ crimes. Unless she tells Starkey about Diane’s advice, that is.

But Maia didn’t sign the documents on her birthday! She signed them on the Saturday before her birthday!

“Nice, Maia,” Lucca says after they leave the interview. “No, lucky,” Maia replies. “No, I’ve seen lucky. That was smart,” Lucca says and offers her hand for a high-five. (Can’t it be both? Maia totally would have signed the papers if it was her actual birthday. But it is smart that she’s thinking things through before talking now.)

Now it’s 1:27 pm. I don’t understand why these time stamps are happening and I especially don’t understand why the people at All Access have inserted the commercial breaks right after the time stamps instead of right before. I assume they’re meant to kick off each act that takes place on that first day?

Case stuff happens.

Another bird crashes into Starkey’s window. I thought it had to do with the way the light hit the windows, so why is this happening all throughout the day?

Starkey asks Maia if it’s correct she found out about the Ponzi scheme from the news. She says it is. “You graduated from law school in 2016, right?” Starkey asks. Maia says that’s right.

And then Starkey asks her about a celebration that took place at her parents’ house. Wait, who told her about this? From what Maia remembers, it was a small gathering. Maia, Amy, Maia’s parents, and Amy’s parents. So if Starkey knows about this gathering, does that mean someone close to her is talking to the FBI and making things look bad for Maia?

Starkey asks if Maia was living with Amy at the time. She was. (So Maia and Amy lived together in Chicago while Maia was in law school? Where did Maia go to law school? Or did Amy and Maia live in a different city and Amy just started as an ASA?)

(Amy’s parents look super uncomfortable around the Rindells—they don’t have that kind of money.)

But, Amy’s parents asked Maia about the possibility of her parents investing in the Rindell fund. Now I REALLY want to know who Starkey’s talking to, since Maia remembers that she didn’t even tell her parents about this request. Is Starkey talking to Amy? To Amy’s parents?

Case stuff happens.

“When the facts are on your side, you pound the facts. When the facts are not on your side…” cut to Adrian pounding the table in court. HEH. Nice transition.

I forgot to mention that Luke Kirby is in this episode as an ASA. He was on Rectify. You should all watch Rectify.

Jay does investigative work without Marissa. Cool.

Sweeney’s being considered for an ambassadorship. Diane, Adrian, and Barbara burst out laughing. As I said, I like this “lawyers laugh at things that are absurd” trend.

It’s not until 40 minutes into the episode that Sweeney mentions his reputation as a wife-killer. Sorry, new viewers. The show’s not being helpful with the exposition this week!

It’s a new day and Maia’s back at the FBI, fidgeting with her rosary ring. Now, the issue is that Starkey thinks Maia must have known something was going on at the fund if she didn’t ask about allowing Amy’s parents to invest.

Maia remembers a conversation with Amy (who apparently sleeps in a shirt that says BLONDE BESTIE” on it which tells me a lot about Amy) where Amy brought up the topic again.

Lucca tells Maia she understands that “rightly or wrongly, [Maia feels] guilty for your parents’ actions.” “That’s not what this is,” Maia insists. “You don’t even need to be conscious of it, Maia. Your guilt could just be coloring your memories. You could be seeing yourself as more culpable than you are. It’s your Catholic guilt. You are condemning yourself. That’s fine for the confessional, but here, it has real repercussions,” Lucca informs Maia. This is exactly what Maia needs to hear at this moment, especially that last part about the repercussions. If Maia wants to blame herself and ask herself why she was so willfully ignorant, fine. I think she probably was willfully ignorant, at least in the sense that she never questioned her parents or her own privilege. (Again, that foundation had one board meeting in six years.) But I don’t think anything she did would warrant jail time, especially given how young she was at the time. Guilt in the moral sense? Definitely. Guilt in the legal sense? That seems… like a waste of government resources. Maia doesn’t need to help the government make their case against her just because she feels bad that she had her eyes closed. It’s a lot to ask of any person, especially a young person, to turn on their family over a slight bad feeling. What could Maia have done, anyway? Gone to the government and said, “I feel like something’s off about my parents’ fund but I don’t have any specific details or specific reasons to think that”?

In the memory pop, Amy asks Maia again if she really asked her dad. “Lucca, I didn’t tell my dad,” Maia confesses in the present. “I must have somehow known about the Ponzi scheme. Otherwise, why would I have let Amy’s parents invest?” Lucca says that doesn’t mean anything (and I agree- I can imagine lots of other reasons Maia might not have wanted Amy’s parents’ money to be tied up with her parents’ fund, starting with the fact that it would just call attention to the fact that Maia’s super rich and Amy’s not). But Maia insists: she knew. (I feel bad for Maia here. She went from refusing to believe the people she loves, who actually committed crimes, could have been involved to blaming herself for everything.)

Diane and Adrian, late at night, debate strategy for the Sweeney case and drink scotch.

“Diane? You happy here?” Adrian switches the topic. “What, at your firm?” Diane asks. She is. “You wanted to retire,” Adrian explains the basis for his question. Diane laughs. “Yes. Well, life has a way of reminding you of who you are. Guess I’m not the retiring type,” she says. I bet Diane’s a lot happier here than she was at LockhartKeyboardSmash. “Are you happy here?” Diane returns the question. Adrian laughs. “Gotcha,” Diane replies.

“I like getting the better of people, and… keeping something alive. You know? Looking at there, at all those employees, realizing they might not have jobs if I don’t keep this going,” he says. “Yeah. That is a good feeling,” Diane agrees.

“Okay. Time to go home. Let’s get dinner sometime,” Adrian says so casually it’s almost like he didn’t just ask his business partner out on a date. “That’d be nice,” Diane replies. She looks startled but not unhappy with this idea. It’s not exactly a date, but, I mean…

(Remember how Will and Alicia were always supposed to get dinner in season 1?)

(I am cool with a Diane and Adrian ship. I also love McHart. As long as we don’t get a Adrian/Diane/Kurt triangle with Adrian as Will (I took you in when you were poison) and Kurt as Peter (the cheater), I’m pretty much okay with wherever the writers want to go as long as they do it well.) (Though I still don’t believe Kurt would have ever cheated on Diane.)

Adrian comes up with a way to get Sweeney’s case thrown out and, more importantly, the cop kicked off the force. It works.

At the next day of interviews—we didn’t see a single one of the day 2 interviews, just Maia panicking in the hallway—Maia remembers hearing Jax talking about an audit with both her parents, who closed the door in her face. Not sure what point in time this is supposed to take place.

She also remembers telling Amy they shouldn’t entangle their families’ finances. Maia remembers Amy asking if there’s something wrong with the fund. Did she? Does it matter if she did?

Lucca provides hypothetical reasons why Maia might not have told her dad that Amy’s parents wanted to invest. Makes sense to me. Also, proves yet again that Lucca is very good at reading a situation and saying the exact right thing. (She’s done this several times with Maia, but she did it all the time with Alicia, too.)

Sweeney isn’t going to be an ambassador, and he’s not going to help Diane with her civil suit. What a shame.

“I’ll drop by again,” Sweeney warns.

Maia tells Starkey that it just seemed like a bad idea to mix family and finances. Based on Maia saying “the truth is” in her answer, Starkey decides what she was always going to decide: Maia’s a liar and she knew about the Ponzi scheme. She’s going to recommend that they prosecute Maia. Good luck finding evidence.

Maia tears up, and the episode ends.

And this leaves me with two questions:

1) Do we have to endure another season of trial BS? This show does not need an ongoing conspiracy arc to work. In fact, the ongoing conspiracy arcs are usually the things that DON’T work.

2) Why didn’t we get to this point earlier? Not the point of Maia being prosecuted, but the point of Maia feeling guilt. I said this earlier, but I think these emotional beats would’ve been great things to hit on earlier. Now, after this episode, I have a sense of how much it affected Maia to be raised in a world where she never had to worry about anything other than herself. The stakes don’t have to be as high as an interview with the FBI and a potential prosecution to make Maia question everything, her own views included. They’re not going to send Maia to jail—at least, I’d be shocked if they did—so why do this arc? I would rather see her work through her guilt, reach out to her friends, reach out to Amy, start trying to do good, really throw herself into the firm’s fights even when she doesn’t understand them, or something like that. To me, that’s more interesting than watching the team come together to defend her.

(I expected to be harsher on this episode than I ended up being. I’m pleased that I liked it more on rewatch.)

(And sorry for all the Alicia mentions. I hate it when people insist on comparing a new character to an old character, but I just can’t stop doing it when it comes to Alicia and Maia. I’m trying to keep my comments to the storytelling—what works and what doesn’t when building a character whose notable for their connection to a big scandal—but I’m sure that what a lot of it comes down to is just that I love Alicia a lot and will take any opportunity I can to write about her.)

This episode kicks off at 9:03 am. There’s a title card announcing this fact. I’m not sure why we need to know exactly what time it is, since lines about breakfast, mid-morning snack, and lunch could’ve conveyed the passage of time better than a title card. And since the time cards just kinda disappear as the episode goes on.

Maia and Lucca are waiting for Maia to be interviewed about her parents’ scheme. It seems like Lucca is Maia’s lawyer now, which I don’t love: what happened to Yesha?! I won’t complain too much, though, because I want Maia/Lucca scenes and I want Maia to feel like part of the rest of the show. But I also want to know where Yesha disappeared to.

Lucca briefly summarizes the rules of today’s interview: Maia is here voluntarily and nothing she shares in this interview can be used against her.

“Was your first year anything like this?” Maia asks Lucca. Good question. Maia has a lot on her plate, but this is still her first job. As someone who’s still in her first year out of college, I was excited to see the Kings’ take on a character who’s going through the same things I am (even if our careers and our circumstances are very different). But we’ve barely gotten any of that. And, while it’s not necessary that the writers focus on this aspect of Maia’s life (she does have bigger things to worry about, after all!), it’s something the writers could look at to add to Maia’s development. Alicia was always dealing with the sex scandal, dealing with the conspiracy/trial drama surrounding Peter, being a mother, and adjusting to going back to work and fighting for her job in her competition with Cary. Maia may not be juggling quite as many roles as Alicia was, but even still: she plays roles other than Daughter of a Scandal. She is a new lawyer. She is someone’s girlfriend. She is Diane’s goddaughter. There is no lack of potential material for Maia, which is why I’ve been (and will continue to be) so harsh on the writers for the way they have(n’t) developed her.

(And it wouldn’t even hurt the show or take up too much time to show Maia in other roles! It would make the show more coherent to have her at work more often; it would give Diane more material if she and Maia interacted more frequently; it would make everything a lot better if we got to see more of Maia and Amy’s relationship. And, if the Rindell Fund stuff needed to be minimized to make room to show Maia doing other things, so be it. That plot is in desperate need of trimming anyway.)

Lucca responds that no, her first year wasn’t anything like this (well of course it wasn’t; she was working as a bar attorney). She has a feeling her fourth year will be, though. Foreshadowing…

“You’re weathering it well,” Lucca tells Maia. Maia thanks her, and then it’s time for her interview. Hey! Wouldn’t this line play a lot better if we could see that Maia is either putting on an act and everything’s getting to her or that Maia has a strategy for dealing with this? Again (I’m going to say this a lot in this recap), we got that kind of development for Alicia. And Alicia didn’t have a live-in significant other she could talk to about anything.

Lucca and Maia walk into an interrogation room filled with lights, cameras, and a half-dozen FBI agents. “Oh, come on!” Lucca exclaims. But it turns out they’re in a different room with only one interviewer, played by Jane Lynch. The hallway is being painted and they have to go through the interrogation room because quirkiness. Also quirky: Madeline Starkey’s office, which is stuffed with all sorts of trinkets. And, if there weren’t enough quirk already in this scene, birds sometimes fly into Starkey’s window because they think it’s the sky. Lovely. Dead birds are quirk now.

Starkey explains with more specificity what Maia’s there to do, and mentions that the terms only apply if Maia is truthful. It’s a felony to lie to a federal agent, Starkey reminds her. Maia knows exactly what law that is.

“Maia, let’s talk about your parents. How did this Ponzi scheme begin?” Starkey asks first. Well that’s a broad question Maia wouldn’t necessarily know the answer to. (This is Starkey’s play—I don’t believe for a minute she’s interested in anything other than catching Maia in a lie.) Lucca answers for Maia, so Starkey rephrases. She wants Maia to share anything that comes to mind about her parents or about her Uncle Jackson. So, basically, she wants memory pops.

Meanwhile at the firm, Adrian needs Diane to help with another police brutality case. He has friends at County, so he knows when a new case pops up. And, this is an interesting one: the cop involved is Andrew Theroux, the same cop as the case from F101. If they fight this right, they can get this cop kicked off the force.

Adrian and Diane arrive at County and try to find their new client. They assume it’s a young black man who doesn’t look like he’s been involved in a physical altercation and who says he’s in there on a possession charge (but he didn’t do it).

Their real client? None other than Colin Sweeney. “Oh, Dear God,” Diane says when she sees him. Sweeney’s excited to see Diane. He asks if “Alee-see-ah” called her because she said she couldn’t take his case. Couldn’t or didn’t want to? I demand answers. (Nah, I don’t demand answers. I’m just glad this line is in here, since Sweeney’s one of those guest stars who mainly interacted with Alicia. He was always so fixated on her that her absence needs to be acknowledged for it to make even the slightest bit of sense that anyone else would be defending him.

Sweeney tells Adrian that “they’re out to get me. The same way they did with Rodney King.” EL-OH-EL. RIGHT.

Adrian and Diane (who thinks Sweeney is “the devil”) don’t like that they’re going to have to represent Sweeney, but they know this is a way to get the corrupt cop kicked off the force. The ends justify the means. (The show did as good of a job as they possibly could have—between this explanation and the Alicia reference—of bringing Sweeney onto TGF. He’s one of the guest stars that I think TGW used a little too frequently, but I’ll allow.)

Back in the FBI interview, Starkey gives Maia a date: the first criminal act took place on September 15th, 2008. I typed this date into my email inbox to see what I was up to then. Apparently, that’s the day I sent my first email to someone who’s now one of my best friends. (It was a link to the first Tina Fey as Sarah Palin sketch. How 2008.)

Anyway, Maia says, as any reasonable person asked to recall something that happened on some day nine years ago would, that that was a long time ago. “I would’ve been seventeen,” Maia says. So Maia’s 26 (possibly 27) now. “I was probably in school,” she continues.

Starkey points out it was the day Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, and that jogs Maia’s memory, which means… MEMORY POPS!

Maia remembers herself doing homework as the news played in the background. She’s at home, at the dining room table, still wearing her school uniform. (Maia went to private school, it seems, but that’s the least surprising reveal ever.) Also, sorry, but giving Maia really curly hair and a school uniform doesn’t make me believe that 30 year old Rose looks seventeen. It does, however, make it look like Maia grew up in a different era.

Maia remembers her parents panicking over the news. So far, these memory pops are nothing special, but it’s still early. They’re mostly a way of illustrating information, and that’s fine.

Starkey moves on to asking about an investor, and Maia says she remembers him being at her house on September 15th. She adds that Jax was there too. Maia has a good memory! (For some reason, all of this is making me think of the opening of Serial.)

She specifically remembers that the investor would be out eight million dollars if he pulled his money out, so her family told him to keep his money in.

She estimates that this must’ve been around 4 pm because she was still doing her homework. Girl, I was still doing my homework at 10 pm and was barely home from school by 4. Are you sure about this time frame? And if you are, what sort of school did you go to where you had so little homework you wouldn’t have been working on it much later than 4?! She also remembers that their guest was gone before dinner. This has gotten super specific.

Maia remembers that her parents discussed work over dinner. And this is where I want more from the memory pops. Maia is going through a time in her life where she’s reevaluating everything she thought she knew and questioning the perfect family she thought she had. Sure, Starkey is asking about one specific date, but wouldn’t it be cool if, for example, we saw flashes of lots of “typical Rindell family dinners” before we saw the one Maia remembers on September 15th? Did the Rindells always sit down to dinner together? Was that something they made a point of doing, something that Maia remembers fondly from her childhood? When she thinks about this particular dinner, is she only thinking about that dinner, or is she making a composite memory of lots of dinners? It is not interesting to me that Maia had dinner with her parents on September 15th, 2008. It’s not even interesting to me that Maia thinks she had dinner with her parents on that date. But it would be very interesting to me if I knew that the Rindells always sat down as a family for dinner.

Starkey has Lenore’s calendar from 2008, and it contradicts Maia’s recollection because Maia had a gyno appointment at 3 pm. Damn, her school must’ve let out early. Starkey wants to know how Maia remembers seeing Jax at 4 if this is the case. Uh? Because it was nine years ago and Maia gave you estimate times? (Lucca points this out.)

“I know that memory can be faulty. I’m just trying to get to the truth,” Starkey says. That’s a good thesis statement for what memory pops are meant to illustrate.

Maia does remember a gyno appointment, and her mom speaking with someone in the waiting room. She tells Starkey she was there. Why!? She remembers it was on that day? Why did you say yes, Maia? She says maybe she saw Jax and the investor later, which calls everything she’s said into question.

Starkey says it would’ve been impossible for Maia to be home by 4 because of the distance from the doctor’s office to Maia’s house. Maybe the appointment lasted 15 minutes. Maybe Maia got there early. Maybe she saw them at 4:30. I don’t get why Starkey is so stuck on the times adding up exactly. Or maybe she doesn’t care at all and she just wants to have reason to tell her bosses she suspects Maia’s a liar.

(Memory is malleable—note how Maia’s mental image of that day changes every time Starkey introduces a new piece of information. If Starkey said “you had fish for dinner that night, your father told me,” Maia would probably start imagining fish on the dinner plates.)

It would���ve been 5:30 by the time they got home, apparently. That’s a lot of traffic. And the housekeeper said she served dinner right at 5:30. And Jax said he was never there at all. I am not convinced by Starkey’s argument, though I also don’t trust Maia’s memories to be objective. I’m sure, in 2008, she overheard more than one discussion about the recession.

Starkey starts talking about some show she was on when she was eight, and then says that when she saw photos, she realized her memory was wrong. “The mind has a way of turning wishful thinking into actual memories,” Starkey says. That’s true. Not sure if that’s what’s going on here, but it’s true.

Lucca stops the interview. She and Maia have trouble exiting Starkey’s office because quirkiness.

Lucca, smartly, notes that Starkey is trying to catch Maia in lies. She advises Maia to only talk about specific memories. “I don’t want to hurt my dad,” Maia says. That’s obvious. She’s still—in her mind—making Jax out to be the villain, even after all the shit her father’s put her through these past few weeks. And this episode would’ve been the perfect time to find out why Maia’s so loyal to her father. “He’s her father” stopped being an adequate explanation the first time she broke the law to protect him. What produced this kind of loyalty? What kinds of values did her parents instill in her? Since she’s an only child, was she very close with her parents? Would her dad always, always find time to ask about her day, to help her with her homework, to offer to read over her essays? Would they chat about the news together?

This is connected to another problem I have with the Rindells, one I’ve touched on before. Maia’s parents are cartoon villains. Maybe if in just one scene either of them behaved like a human being, I’d have an easier time believing that Maia would care about them. Peter Florrick was always more than just Scumbag In Prison Who Cheated on Alicia. Remember Just Because Day? I think it’s in episode W1x04. It’s exactly what I would want from Maia and her parents: Alicia’s asked what she was doing on a specific date and goes to find information. She stumbles across a video from that date, and it refreshes her memory. But, before she realizes that Peter must’ve been with her the entire day, and not off breaking the law, she’s nervous. The video starts out with Peter in bed, and we don’t need to literally see inside Alicia’s mind to know that she thinks she’s found a sex tape. Now that she knows that Peter’s a cheater, she can’t help but see everything through that lens. She relaxes when she sees Zach and Grace on the camera, and then she recalls how wonderful her family was before the scandal—how good Peter was with the kids; how he surprised her “just because.” That’s a lot of information about Alicia (AND something that adds dimension to Peter) in one scene where all she does is watch a tape. How come we don’t get that much information about Maia when we get a glimpse into her mind?  

(Yes, I know the point of these memory pops is to show that Maia knew all along but ignored the warning signs. My point is that I would love to see memory pops that suggest why she was willfully ignorant for so long.)

(I don’t know where to put this point so I may as well put it here: I would like this episode far, far more if it had been placed earlier in the season. Maia realizing she knew all along and is covering for her parents is a big deal, but it’s less of a big deal when she’s been suspicious of her mom for weeks, read her father’s suicide note about his “crimes”, and, oh yeah, made the choice to let her father stay in prison for the rest of his life rather than risk hurting anyone else. This is the kind of realization that would’ve added a lot of depth to Maia early on but feels too late now.)

(On a similar note, I would prefer it if Maia came to this realization through either a conversation—in private—with her lawyer or a heart-to-heart with Amy. I don’t give a shit about continuing investigations into the Rindells, and Madeline Starkey isn’t the only person in the world who could prompt Maia to question the accuracy of her memories.)

“If you lie to protect your dad, you might get him off. But you’ll end up in jail,” Lucca explains. Wait. This is still a question?! I know these legal cases take time but can we please be done with this one? Also: if this is Maia’s way of feeling guilty about her father’s suicide attempt and how she sided with Diane and the firm over her family, maaaaaaaaaaaaybe the episode could be clearer about that????

My overall feeling about the memory pops in this episode is: They’re better than standard flashbacks and they convey what they need to about Maia feeling guilty. But there was still a lot of character detail missing.

Also: I’m sure my disappointment has something to do with how little I care about Maia, even nearly at the end of the first season. There was always very little chance of me becoming as invested in Maia as I was in Alicia, so this isn’t entirely the show’s fault. But I don’t think it’s all a matter of personal preference. I won’t get into it yet again, but I think there are lots of ways that the writers could have made Maia a more interesting, three-dimensional character.

In court, there’s some sort of unfunny joke about a judge in a wheelchair who doesn’t want any help going up a ramp. I want to believe this is just to show us that the judge is the kind of person who insists on doing everything himself without asking for help, but it kind of seems like I’m supposed to find it quirky and funny that he’s in a wheelchair and can’t wheel himself up a ramp. It is neither quirky nor funny; it’s just offensive.

Case stuff happens. Sweeney says “all lives matter” and Diane shushes him. (“Shut up, Colin. I’m finally on your side.”) (Hey, speaking of people named Colin, where’s Colin Morello at this week? I don’t miss him, but where is he?) (Marissa’s not in this episode either.) (And Barbara may as well not be in this episode because they don’t give her much to do.)

My new favorite thing is lawyers on this show laughing because the law works in bizarre and wonderful ways sometimes. It happens at least twice in this episode and it happened last week too.

More birds fly into Starkey’s windows as Lucca and Maia return for more questioning. Starkey hands Maia her mother’s calendar. For some reason, Maia keeps remembering her mom leaning in close to Jax (first they’re both blurred out) when she’s at the appointments. I think this is meant to indicate that it’s slowly coming into focus for her that all her appointments were covers for her mom’s affair with Jax. But I’m not sure that makes sense. It’s not like Maia never went to the doctor, and I don’t know why she’d go straight to realizing it was a cover for an affair (Starkey hasn’t suggested that yet at this point).

Maia’s supposed to mark all the appointments she remembers on a print-out of her mom’s calendar. She remembers her mom talking to a gynecologist and so she puts a check next to that appointment. Okay but Maia, you going to the gynecologist doesn’t mean you went on that exact day.

Maia remembers lots of gyno appointments. Is there supposed to be a point to this? Or is it just to let us know that she had a boyfriend before she had a girlfriend?

Starkey then says that Lenore wasn’t at the appointments: she was sleeping with Jax. This is so aggravating to me. These things happened nine years ago. But Starkey is right: Maia shouldn’t be confirming things if they’re not true. When I buy lunch multiple times in a week, a week later, I can’t remember which day I bought a sandwich and which day I got pasta, even if I remember that I bought a sandwich one day and pasta another day. I really don’t get why Maia is confirming anything instead of second-guessing herself. (But then, maybe Maia just thinks differently than I do.)

Also just taking a second to acknowledge that Lenore Rindell is a shitty person. 

Maia imagines her mother and Jax kissing in the hallway of her gynecologist’s office. She pictures herself turning away. This didn’t happen in reality (they were not carrying on an affair in her gyno’s office, I’m like 99.9999% sure)—this is Maia processing information. Get it? She sees the truth and turns away.

So now the question is: did Maia suspect anything? She sees herself turning around, like it was right in front of her. No, she says. She didn’t. Starkey wants to know if she ever suspected her parents of the Ponzi scheme, and Lucca insists on a break. Good call, Lucca.

At RBK, a guy from COPA is falling asleep on Adrian’s desk. Barbara and Adrian tell the COPA guy about their latest case. He’s interested when he hears which cop was involved. But when they tell him the victim is Sweeney… COPA guy laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. He rips up his notes and leaves, still laughing. He is my new hero.

Case stuff happens.

Maia looks at her contacts list in her phone. Lucca calls her in for more of the interview. Starkey offers them candy and makes up a story about her husband. Lucca calls her out on it—she googled Starkey. Seems Starkey is lying about whatever she feels like lying about. But she is good at her job, according to the interwebs.

Starkey responds by threatening Lucca. Cool.

Her next questions are about the Rindell Foundation. Maia is one of three board members. Starkey asks when the board last met. Apparently, years ago. In June 2011. And they never met again. MAIA. HOW ARE YOU ON THE BOARD OF A FOUNDATION THAT HASN’T HAD A BOARD MEETING IN SIX YEARS WITHOUT THINKING THAT’S SUSPICIOUS? (Later, we’ll see Maia say she cared about the cause, but actions speak louder than words.)  

I don’t think I’m supposed to be on Maia’s side on this. I don’t think it makes her a criminal or complicit that she wasn’t more involved. But it does make her willfully ignorant, and neglectful (not in a legal sense, because I don’t know anything about the law). Maia’s led a life so full of privilege she doesn’t immediately think this is strange. And she’s so comfortable with her life, she doesn’t do anything that could cause a stir. It’s no wonder she feels guilty.

Maia explains that the foundation wasn’t her idea, but it was a good cause. I’m trying not to judge Maia for this, but I’m failing. I’m sure most eighteen year olds wouldn’t like it if their parents tried to force them into running a foundation, but it takes a certain type of privilege to hear about a foundation (even as an eighteen year old) and go, “ugh, daddy, this is a good cause but why do I have to deal with it?” instead of thinking, “This is an opportunity for me to do good for other people; let me make sure I get people involved to manage these initiatives.”

In Maia’s defense, she does remember asking how much they were sending. “It’s a lot, honey,” is all she remembers her dad telling her. “I don’t know,” she realizes. And she was okay with that.

She remembers asking again, that same night, while making pizza with her dad. “Yeah, but Dad, I mean, it’s got my name on it,” she said. Henry said Jax would open the books to her in a few weeks. We don’t get confirmation on whether or not that happened. My guess? Maia never followed up, because it would’ve been uncomfortable to follow up, and she was preoccupied with her own life.

Case stuff happens. It’s good for the RBK team.

Now we’re in a memory pop without first seeing Maia, which is a transition I do not like at all because it makes the memory pop seem like a flashback and not a memory. Henry, and a bunch of guests including Diane, are singing Happy Birthday to Maia. It’s her eighteenth birthday, Starkey explains: the day the Rindell Foundation was established.

“My parents, they, they knew I was interested in Africa,” Maia says, explaining why the foundation was gifted to her. OH YES, I CAN TELL YOU WERE INTERESTED IN AFRICA FROM THE WAY YOU REFER TO IT (IN THE PRESENT!) AS THOUGH IT’S A SINGLE COUNTRY. And from the way you totally knew what your foundation was doing (or not doing). And from all those board meetings over the years.  

(I try not to judge characters and to understand them instead but oh my god, how can I not judge someone who says things like, “My parents knew I was interested in Africa.”????)

Next question: Was Amy at Maia’s birthday party? Yes, she was. Maia remembers that clearly, romantically. She pictures Amy smiling at her, looking directly at her, noticing her, standing out from the crowd.

It was the night Maia and Amy met! That’s exciting backstory! And, we get confirmation on an age difference: Amy was entering law school when Maia turned 18. I didn’t think the age gap was that big! Like, that makes Amy in these memory pops the age I am now, and the idea of dating an 18 year old now is like, LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL YOU’RE A CHILD. The age gap isn’t what’s strange to me—it’s not that big of a gap. It’s the gap in maturity and experience that strikes me as odd. But hey, it worked out for them, so who am I to judge?

(Good to get confirmation that Amy’s supposed to be four/five years older. That sounds about right.)

Maia’s boyfriend was there that night, but she ended up making out with Amy anyway. That escalated quickly.

Starkey also asks if Diane was there. Maia remembers her singing Happy Birthday. Of course, we don’t get to hear it, even though this is the closest we’ve ever gotten to Christine Baranski singing on the show.

Starkey wants to know if Diane offered legal advice to Maia’s parents in Maia’s presence. Lucca cuts in before I can type out, “isn���t that hearsay?”

Diane’s talking about a case she’s on, a guy who’s accused of killing a hedge fund manager who worked with Madoff. I don’t know if the timeline adds up or not, but it’s possible this is the case from W1x15, which has a case with that premise. Also, 1x15 is a really good episode and I just rewatched it last weekend. And one of the filming locations in that episode is the Rindell mansion. It’s where a corrupt hedge fund manager lived. I know that’s not intentional, but HA! (Sorry, Maia, but seeing Alicia walk through your house doesn’t do you any favors.)

(I CAN’T STOP COMPARING MAIA TO ALICIA. I HAVE BECOME THE TYPE OF FAN I CAN’T STAND.)

Maia’s torn between the pleasant memory of Amy and the unpleasant memory of Diane and her parents talking about the Madoffs. In Maia’s mind, Diane says, “I think [Madoff’s wife] didn’t know because she didn’t want to know.” Huh, I wonder where Maia got that piece of dialogue to insert into her memory. 

“How could she not know?” Diane says, and it sounds like a judgment of Maia.

Since the foundation was being used as a front and Maia’s name is on the contract, Maia’s legally responsible for any of her parents’ crimes. Unless she tells Starkey about Diane’s advice, that is.

But Maia didn’t sign the documents on her birthday! She signed them on the Saturday before her birthday!

“Nice, Maia,” Lucca says after they leave the interview. “No, lucky,” Maia replies. “No, I’ve seen lucky. That was smart,” Lucca says and offers her hand for a high-five. (Can’t it be both? Maia totally would have signed the papers if it was her actual birthday. But it is smart that she’s thinking things through before talking now.)

Now it’s 1:27 pm. I don’t understand why these time stamps are happening and I especially don’t understand why the people at All Access have inserted the commercial breaks right after the time stamps instead of right before. I assume they’re meant to kick off each act that takes place on that first day?

Case stuff happens.

Another bird crashes into Starkey’s window. I thought it had to do with the way the light hit the windows, so why is this happening all throughout the day?

Starkey asks Maia if it’s correct she found out about the Ponzi scheme from the news. She says it is. “You graduated from law school in 2016, right?” Starkey asks. Maia says that’s right.

And then Starkey asks her about a celebration that took place at her parents’ house. Wait, who told her about this? From what Maia remembers, it was a small gathering. Maia, Amy, Maia’s parents, and Amy’s parents. So if Starkey knows about this gathering, does that mean someone close to her is talking to the FBI and making things look bad for Maia?

Starkey asks if Maia was living with Amy at the time. She was. (So Maia and Amy lived together in Chicago while Maia was in law school? Where did Maia go to law school? Or did Amy and Maia live in a different city and Amy just started as an ASA?)

(Amy’s parents look super uncomfortable around the Rindells—they don’t have that kind of money.)

But, Amy’s parents asked Maia about the possibility of her parents investing in the Rindell fund. Now I REALLY want to know who Starkey’s talking to, since Maia remembers that she didn’t even tell her parents about this request. Is Starkey talking to Amy? To Amy’s parents?

Case stuff happens.

“When the facts are on your side, you pound the facts. When the facts are not on your side…” cut to Adrian pounding the table in court. HEH. Nice transition.

I forgot to mention that Luke Kirby is in this episode as an ASA. He was on Rectify. You should all watch Rectify.

Jay does investigative work without Marissa. Cool.

Sweeney’s being considered for an ambassadorship. Diane, Adrian, and Barbara burst out laughing. As I said, I like this “lawyers laugh at things that are absurd” trend.

It’s not until 40 minutes into the episode that Sweeney mentions his reputation as a wife-killer. Sorry, new viewers. The show’s not being helpful with the exposition this week!

It’s a new day and Maia’s back at the FBI, fidgeting with her rosary ring. Now, the issue is that Starkey thinks Maia must have known something was going on at the fund if she didn’t ask about allowing Amy’s parents to invest.

Maia remembers a conversation with Amy (who apparently sleeps in a shirt that says BLONDE BESTIE” on it which tells me a lot about Amy) where Amy brought up the topic again.

Lucca tells Maia she understands that “rightly or wrongly, [Maia feels] guilty for your parents’ actions.” “That’s not what this is,” Maia insists. “You don’t even need to be conscious of it, Maia. Your guilt could just be coloring your memories. You could be seeing yourself as more culpable than you are. It’s your Catholic guilt. You are condemning yourself. That’s fine for the confessional, but here, it has real repercussions,” Lucca informs Maia. This is exactly what Maia needs to hear at this moment, especially that last part about the repercussions. If Maia wants to blame herself and ask herself why she was so willfully ignorant, fine. I think she probably was willfully ignorant, at least in the sense that she never questioned her parents or her own privilege. (Again, that foundation had one board meeting in six years.) But I don’t think anything she did would warrant jail time, especially given how young she was at the time. Guilt in the moral sense? Definitely. Guilt in the legal sense? That seems… like a waste of government resources. Maia doesn’t need to help the government make their case against her just because she feels bad that she had her eyes closed. It’s a lot to ask of any person, especially a young person, to turn on their family over a slight bad feeling. What could Maia have done, anyway? Gone to the government and said, “I feel like something’s off about my parents’ fund but I don’t have any specific details or specific reasons to think that”?

In the memory pop, Amy asks Maia again if she really asked her dad. “Lucca, I didn’t tell my dad,” Maia confesses in the present. “I must have somehow known about the Ponzi scheme. Otherwise, why would I have let Amy’s parents invest?” Lucca says that doesn’t mean anything (and I agree- I can imagine lots of other reasons Maia might not have wanted Amy’s parents’ money to be tied up with her parents’ fund, starting with the fact that it would just call attention to the fact that Maia’s super rich and Amy’s not). But Maia insists: she knew. (I feel bad for Maia here. She went from refusing to believe the people she loves, who actually committed crimes, could have been involved to blaming herself for everything.)

Diane and Adrian, late at night, debate strategy for the Sweeney case and drink scotch.

“Diane? You happy here?” Adrian switches the topic. “What, at your firm?” Diane asks. She is. “You wanted to retire,” Adrian explains the basis for his question. Diane laughs. “Yes. Well, life has a way of reminding you of who you are. Guess I’m not the retiring type,” she says. I bet Diane’s a lot happier here than she was at LockhartKeyboardSmash. “Are you happy here?” Diane returns the question. Adrian laughs. “Gotcha,” Diane replies.

“I like getting the better of people, and… keeping something alive. You know? Looking at there, at all those employees, realizing they might not have jobs if I don’t keep this going,” he says. “Yeah. That is a good feeling,” Diane agrees.

“Okay. Time to go home. Let’s get dinner sometime,” Adrian says so casually it’s almost like he didn’t just ask his business partner out on a date. “That’d be nice,” Diane replies. She looks startled but not unhappy with this idea. It’s not exactly a date, but, I mean…

(Remember how Will and Alicia were always supposed to get dinner in season 1?)

(I am cool with a Diane and Adrian ship. I also love McHart. As long as we don’t get a Adrian/Diane/Kurt triangle with Adrian as Will (I took you in when you were poison) and Kurt as Peter (the cheater), I’m pretty much okay with wherever the writers want to go as long as they do it well.) (Though I still don’t believe Kurt would have ever cheated on Diane.)

Adrian comes up with a way to get Sweeney’s case thrown out and, more importantly, the cop kicked off the force. It works.

At the next day of interviews—we didn’t see a single one of the day 2 interviews, just Maia panicking in the hallway—Maia remembers hearing Jax talking about an audit with both her parents, who closed the door in her face. Not sure what point in time this is supposed to take place.

She also remembers telling Amy they shouldn’t entangle their families’ finances. Maia remembers Amy asking if there’s something wrong with the fund. Did she? Does it matter if she did?

Lucca provides hypothetical reasons why Maia might not have told her dad that Amy’s parents wanted to invest. Makes sense to me. Also, proves yet again that Lucca is very good at reading a situation and saying the exact right thing. (She’s done this several times with Maia, but she did it all the time with Alicia, too.)

Sweeney isn’t going to be an ambassador, and he’s not going to help Diane with her civil suit. What a shame.

“I’ll drop by again,” Sweeney warns.

Maia tells Starkey that it just seemed like a bad idea to mix family and finances. Based on Maia saying “the truth is” in her answer, Starkey decides what she was always going to decide: Maia’s a liar and she knew about the Ponzi scheme. She’s going to recommend that they prosecute Maia. Good luck finding evidence.

Maia tears up, and the episode ends.

And this leaves me with two questions:

1) Do we have to endure another season of trial BS? This show does not need an ongoing conspiracy arc to work. In fact, the ongoing conspiracy arcs are usually the things that DON’T work.

2) Why didn’t we get to this point earlier? Not the point of Maia being prosecuted, but the point of Maia feeling guilt. I said this earlier, but I think these emotional beats would’ve been great things to hit on earlier. Now, after this episode, I have a sense of how much it affected Maia to be raised in a world where she never had to worry about anything other than herself. The stakes don’t have to be as high as an interview with the FBI and a potential prosecution to make Maia question everything, her own views included. They’re not going to send Maia to jail—at least, I’d be shocked if they did—so why do this arc? I would rather see her work through her guilt, reach out to her friends, reach out to Amy, start trying to do good, really throw herself into the firm’s fights even when she doesn’t understand them, or something like that. To me, that’s more interesting than watching the team come together to defend her.

(I expected to be harsher on this episode than I ended up being. I’m pleased that I liked it more on rewatch.)

(And sorry for all the Alicia mentions. I hate it when people insist on comparing a new character to an old character, but I just can’t stop doing it when it comes to Alicia and Maia. I’m trying to keep my comments to the storytelling—what works and what doesn’t when building a character whose notable for their connection to a big scandal—but I’m sure that what a lot of it comes down to is just that I love Alicia a lot and will take any opportunity I can to write about her.)

[breakingarrows]

Feedback on Claim of Bias

"Does Nintendo Get A Pass with Reviews?" KindaFunny Gamescast Ep 111 (Pt. 4) published on March 16, 2017 [Transcript located at the bottom of this post]

The question was posed, "Do Nintendo games get higher scores due to a critic’s nostalgia or bias for Nitnendo?" First off, in regards to Breath of the Wild, I can tell you firsthand nostalgia is not the reason Breath of the Wild is getting high scores. As someone who has played and gotten quickly bored of The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, and Minish Cap, I have really enjoyed Breath of the Wild and think it is a very high quality game. I do not have the nostalgia for Nintendo but if I had to review Breath of the Wild I would first have to finish it though I believe (based on my forty hours of playtime) that I would most likely also give it a very high score because I believe it is very good and could back that up with text arguments. Although since I have not finished it, I cannot say anything definitively as far as a review score, just my inclination.

Now does that mean I think those who do not align with my own opinion and do not give Breath of the Wild a very high score are wrong? No. They simply have a separate and different opinion from me. Just as those who complain about a number decreasing on Metacritic for a game they love because one review had a lower-than-average score have no merit, the inverse is true: people who complain about a number increasing on Metacritic for a game they do not enjoy because reviews have been higher-than-average have no merit.

The questioner also states Breath of the Wild was, "praised for features that have been a staple in the industry for five plus years..." I would be curious as to what specific features he has in mind when saying this. Is it the open world? The cooking? The towers? I know these features are not new, but I would argue that they are presented and implemented in such a way that is of a high quality. The open world is large and not empty or contain copy-and-paste side missions. The cooking has a delightful animation and gives me satisfying boosts to combat and general travel that I am happy to engage with. The towers you must climb reveal parts of the map, but do not then go on to fill it with icons for side missions like any Ubisoft open world game and instead pushes the player to actually explore to find things. These are features, elements, and systems we have seen before, but that does not automatically make their implementation banned from praise.

Then we come to Colin. "I do not believe Twilight Princess is a 95/Skyward Sword is a 92/Breath of the Wild is a 98." That is his opinion, but by stating it in regards to the Metacritic number he is calling out those who do believe those games are of high quality as being wrong.

Because Colin does not believe the number should be so high, he does not believe that the reviewers who contributed to that score were correct in their assignment of a number to a game. Not because of the argument made in the text of a review for why a certain score was given, but because Metacritic pumped it into its vague formula and outputted a single number. Metacritic is problematic enough for reducing all opinions and varying scores into a single number for every game. Assigning a baseline number to every game, no matter how varied or different they are from one another, reducing them to a number on the same playing field, is dumb.

"I think there are some critics, some journalists that do as much as they can to try and sell games for Nintendo." I would be very interested to hear who specifically he is talking about, because this really vague statement appears like many comments sections at the bottom of reviews claiming "You are bias for/against X" or “moneyhat” I have a big issue for this given that Colin comes from a background where he knows how the review process works and is an insult to other reviewers who give high scores not because they have some form of stock in Nintendo’s bottom line, no one from major sites listed on Metacritic do, but because they genuinely think the game is amazing and write at length about why they think that.

He makes an example of Ocarina of Time, the last "revolutionary" Zelda game. He uses the phrase “revolutionary” as if it is the only bar by which we judge a game's quality. Not by the overall quality of everything it is and is not doing. Instead a game has to be "revolutionary" in Colin's eyes in order to gain such high praise. It can't simply be doing everything very well.

He also makes an example of Splatoon, saying if it was sold on another platform it would not have done as well, because it was merely "a third person team shooter that you play online…" Not because it was a unique take where instead of trying to kill everyone on the opposing team you are trying to paint the field in colorful ink.

Here's a review sample: "What I love most about Splatoon is how you’re rewarded more for your awareness and willingness to pitch into a team effort than you are for “killing” anything. It’s not like “splatting” your foes isn’t a crucial part of the equation, but after so many multiplayer games in which pure murder is the only measure of success, it’s refreshing to play one – a third-person shooter, no less – that deemphasizes the violence in favor of less direct competition." That was from one Jim Sterling, someone Colin frequently cites as a friend.

By stating Splatoon would have sold less and reviewed lower had it released on a PlayStation platform, he is insinuating that Sterling gave it an 8 out of 10 for being sold on a Nintendo platform. Not because it was, in Sterling's opinion, backed by text, a great game.

Colin also brings back the old faithful word-of-the-day, "objective" which essentially means basing a qualitative review on facts instead of someone’s personal opinion which is, ahem, what reviews are. To have an objective review you cannot state an opinion or viewpoint, instead it merely has to be a listing of the features with no qualitative judgment given. “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild has graphics. It will sometimes play sounds. There are swords. Etc.” that is what an objective review looks like. Many more can be found at Objectivegamereivews.com

Lastly, "It’s not a 98. I can tell you that from playing it for a couple hours [emphasis mine], no way in God's green earth." Now look, I haven’t completed the game either, and I don’t think you need to complete something this large or 100% it to give an opinion of quality, but if you are going to give a definitive statement such as that, only playing for a couple of hours really discredits your argument.

Bottom line, you’re better than arguments like this. Earlier in the Gamescast you laid out your complaints and problems with the game and gave an argument for why you didn’t think it was that great. However, attempting to undermine other people’s reviews by spouting a pro-Nintendo conspiracy that has no basis in facts, discredits your claims. Statements such as this, and ones from your past regarding games, has severely discredited your opinion since I must think, “Okay does he have an argument to back that up or is he saying it because he feels a certain way but has no cogent argument?” It’s insulting to reviewers who spend lots of time formulating their argument for why they think a game is good for you to undermine them by stating they simply have a bias. You’re smarter than this.

 Transcript

Question: Does Nintendo get a pass, yes it’s a very clickbait question, disclaimer these are just by observations etc. Breath of the Wild currently sits at a 98 on Metacritic with virtually every major outlet giving it a perfect or near perfect score. By all accounts this game is great I'm not trying to dispute that, but I also know that I have heard of many a handful of people in the industry praise Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess and yet those games respectively have a 93 and 95 on metacritic. So my question, and/or discussion topic is this: Do big Nintendo franchises have a tendency to draw out higher scores from reviewers based on virtually every "games journalist" having some kind of childhood nostalgia for Nintendo? Again I'm not saying Skyward Sword or Breath of the Wild is anything other than great but looking from the sidelines it certainly seems like Nintendo gets reviewed in a vacuum and praised for features that have been a staple in the industry for five plus years sometimes.

[Greg and Tim give their answers.]

Colin: "Nintendo clearly deals with a super pro-bias in the gaming industry and has since I joined it. If their game, with the exception of maybe Super Mario Galaxy, would have been scored probably a full point or two points or even lower on Metacritic if they were not a Nintendo platforms, not made by Nintendo. I think Zelda is the great example of that. Twilight Princess is in no way shape or form a 95, and Skyward Sword is in no way shape or form a 92, and I don't believe for one second that this game is in any way shape or form a 98. [How much has he played? "A couple hours"] I was saying, 'Wow welcome to 2008,' just in terms of my initial impressions of Zelda. What is it? I think it’s so obvious that if this wasn't a Zelda game no way would it get 10s. I think that's obvious, people can look at that as anti-Nintendo-bias but I think that there is a strong pro-Nintendo bias in the industry. I think it has something to do with what you said that people grew up with Nintendo and root for them in a way. I think there are some critics some journalists that do as much as they can to try and sell you games for Nintendo. I think that it's kind of shitty, I agree with his insertion that the last time there was a Zelda game that was truly revolutionary was Ocarina of Time. Now my favorite Zelda game is Majora's Mask but it wasn't revolutionary. Ocarina of Time was revolutionary. Just like Mario 64 in its own way was revolutionary and Super Mario Galaxy did something to 3D Mario and made it revolutionary in its own way. But Nintendo is given way too much credit for making these amazing revolutionary games. Like Splatoon was PlayStation only you wouldn't give a fuck about it. If Splatoon was on PlayStation or Xbox One it would have sold a hundred thousand copies probably. Because Nintendo made a third person team shooter that you play online suddenly it’s this revolution. I'm a little tired of it personally. I wish I knew how people really felt about Zelda or how good, I wish there was some sort of objective way of what is this Zelda game it’s not a 98. I can tell you that from playing it for a couple hours, no way in God's green earth. So how would it be scored if it was on a PlayStation? It’s a great question, they're the only company that enjoys that. "

[libralita]

Title: The Duke and I

Author: Julia Quinn

Summary: In the ballrooms and drawing rooms of Regency London, rules abound. From their earliest days, children of aristocrats learn how to address an earl and curtsey before a prince—while other dictates of the ton are unspoken yet universally understood. A proper duke should be imperious and aloof. A young, marriageable lady should be amiable… but not too amiable.

Daphne Bridgerton has always failed at the latter. The fourth of eight siblings in her close-knit family, she has formed friendships with the most eligible young men in London. Everyone likes Daphne for her kindness and wit. But no one truly desires her. She is simply too deuced honest for that, too unwilling to play the romantic games that captivate gentlemen.

Amiability is not a characteristic shared by Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings. Recently returned to England from abroad, he intends to shun both marriage and society—just as his callous father shunned Simon throughout his painful childhood. Yet an encounter with his best friend’s sister offers another option. If Daphne agrees to a fake courtship, Simon can deter the mamas who parade their daughters before him. Daphne, meanwhile, will see her prospects and her reputation soar.

Rating: 4/5

Review:

@valerieofavonlea I hate you for getting me into romance.

Any way. So, in December I watched the first season of Bridgerton, mostly because I saw an ad for it on Netflix and thought it looked interesting. It was just the trashy romance I needed and now here I am reading the books. And I cannot believe I’m saying this but I think this book was done dirty by the Netflix adaptation.

I think it can be best illustrated by the hotel scenes in both the show and book. I rewatched the scene and Simon literally says he can’t look Daphne in the eye because he knows that he’s saddled her with a life she does not want. In the book, he pretends to be a sleep for three hours because god he just wants to do it in the carriage. One is dramatic and actually…not that fun to watch. The second is hilarious and with enough awareness to know what it is.

“Simon felt a rush of something utterly foreign fill his lungs. It was air, he realized dumbly. He’d been holding his breath. He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath.”—Page 218

“Violet glanced longingly at the window. Daphne gave thanks that her room was on the second floor; otherwise, she wouldn’t have put it past her mother to try to make a getaway that way.”—Page 239

How could you deprive me of Simon discovering that Daphne thinks he’s impotent? And then also not give me Daphne trying to explain to Simon that Violet has had sex more than eight time and him just be like “DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP”?

Also, something I never thought I would be saying…this book is more subtle than the Netflix series. Now I know that I just said that Simon pretended to be asleep for three hours to resist bonking Daphne’s brains out. However. There’s more subtle character work. For example at first I didn’t like book-Violet because she came across as more…dramatic but then:

“Violet watched as Anthony ran off, presumably toe escape her chattering lecture. ‘Silly boy,’ she murmured to herself. None of her children seemed to be on to any of her tricks. Just blather on about nothing in particular, and she could be rid of any of them in a trice.”—Page 103

If you underestimate Violet Bridgerton, that will be the last mistake of your life. Savage. Whereas in the show, Violet is much more overtly clever. Then I’m kind of conflicted on Daphne’s older brothers. Because on the one hand the three boys have much more defining character traits in the show and they’re very easy to tell apart. In the books they’re kind of just generally supportive yet protective of Daphne, snarky, and afraid of their mother. I’m sure that will change in their books however if I hadn’t seen the show then I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you anything about them. On the other hand what the Netflix show…isn’t the best. Benedict is an artistic, kind of cheeky brother. Colin is the sweet, a bit dim one. And then Anthony…is the asshole. He got all of the book brothers’ over protectiveness and he becomes an ass in the show. Which harms investment in me wanting to see next season because it’ll be his season.

On the other-other hand…I really like how funny all the older brothers are because honestly sometimes they share a braincell and I love it. Our introduction to Anthony is him buying a quizzing glass (like a monocle?) to read the list of potential women he should court in front of her to piss her off. Why do we need broody TV show Anthony?

“‘We should save Daphne,’ Anthony said. ‘We really should,’ Benedict added. ‘And Macclesfield,’ Anthony said. ‘Oh, certainly,’ Benedict added. But Simon noticed that no one was leaing into action. ‘All talk, aren’t you?’ Colin chortled.”—Page 80

“‘Daff’s the best,’ Benedict agreed. Colin nodded. ‘Capital girl. Really good sport.’”—Page 83

Why is the TV show so broody? In the book, Gregory has a sneezing fit causing Simon and Daphne to burst out laughing. In the show they look fucking miserable.

God theses three are perfection.

And now for that scene. So, when I first saw the show, I found it very eyebrow raising. In the book…I don’t know how to feel about it. Like I love the lead up to it (which sounds awful because it’s that) but like Simon is drunk and he’s begging Daphne to stay and my one weakness is Hurt/Comfort. That is just so…heart melting. But then she seduces him and it’s just…oof. I thought I would be like “objectively this is worse because he’s drunk whereas in the show he wasn’t” but like…I don’t know. I think it might be better that we can hear exactly what both of the characters are thinking so it can’t be inferred that Simon is pissed at Daphne for r*ping him like it’s more played up in the show…kind of.

I just wish the scene hadn’t been there. I wish that maybe Simon and Daphne were fighting about this point and that you had the scene where Daphne is riding and falls off. Maybe she actually does hurt herself and then Simon realizes that all he wants to do is be with her and have a family. That way you don’t have this weird morally gray area in this fun book.

Anyway, I’ve heard that nothing like this happens in any of the other books so hopefully I can go on my merry way with the rest of them…yeah I ordered the next four? And if I’m still in the mood I’ll order the next ones.

I’ll leave you on a quote of Anthony stupid:

“‘…while you’re in—’ He looked around the office and scowled. ‘Where the hell are we?’ ‘Wiltshire,’”—Page 340

[jurassicparkpodcast]

EXCLUSIVE: A Look Behind The Scenes At Masrani Global, The Dinosaur Protection Group and Much, Much More…

We’re all Jurassic Park fans – that much is undoubted. But, whether you loved or hated the newer entries in the Jurassic World series, it is undeniable that the immersive viral marketing for the films has been incredible. I know as a young and impressionable college student during the Jurassic World release campaign, I was inspired by the marketing – envisioning dreams of a grandiose marketing campaigns which pushed the boundaries and walked the line between marketing and real life.

With this personal love for immersive marketing, it is my absolute pleasure to share with you today a behind the scenes look at Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’s marketing.

Jack Ewins and Timothy Glover are responsible for the formation Chaos Theorem – a marketing agency which has handled Universal’s immersive Jurassic projects.

So – Jack, Tim, before we start why don’t you tell us a little bit about how you got into Jurassic Park, and what it means to you both?

Timothy Glover: I was actually living in Rhode Island, USA as an eight year old at the time Jurassic Park came out in 1993. I had grown up reading illustrated books and playing with those late 1980’s dinosaur toys, which always looked like they were inspired by the 1933 King Kong film. When I saw the preview for this new Spielberg movie that made dinosaurs look so incredibly real I was hypnotised. The entire concept of a Jurassic Park felt very believable as a kid. As a film, Jurassic Park made you want to be a storyteller, director, musician, actor, animator, you name it - it’s the pinnacle of film-making.

Jack Ewins: I’ve been heavily drawn to Jurassic Park after seeing the first film at the cinema when I was 4 years old. At the time, I was enthralled by the adventure of the story, and the menacing presence of the dinosaurs, which still rings true today, but now I’m 30 I’m engaged by the deeper meaning that Jurassic brings to my life. To boil down to the spine of Jurassic’s story, the franchise surrounds a moral, and ethical debate about playing God, and this is something I think captures the minds of children, and adults, which sticks with them because it resonates with real debates that exist in our world. So, whilst Jurassic means a lot to me because it’s fun, and adventurous, it also means a lot to me because of its philosophical nature.

As we’ll touch on in a little bit, you guys have been on an incredible journey with the franchise. How did this all start for you both?

JE: I’ve been thinking about this ever since we got the initial email from Universal asking if we’d like to join the team. For myself it went something like this:

In 2011, my mother presented me with this box which contained all my old Jurassic items, or close to all of it, and I was surprised just how much I had accumulated over my childhood years. So, I went online to see whether anyone else had made videos showcasing their collections, and I found this plethora of fans who were proud of their stuff. So, I made my collection video detailing all the nostalgic memories I had for the items, why my Robert Muldoon was nicknamed “El Floppo”, why my Coelophysis had a missing foot, or how my Juvenile T-rex figure was missing its dino-damage. This gained millions of hits on YouTube, and caught the attention of Sam Phillips who hosted a Jurassic Park podcast called Jurassic Cast. He reached out to get me on the show to discuss my collection, and I agreed wholeheartedly, because I was a fan of Sam’s podcast, listening to it in my spare time. However, before going on the podcast, and after finishing work one night, I felt this urge to send a tweet out to the newly announced director of Jurassic Park 4, Colin Trevorrow, inviting him onto the podcast with us to discuss his attachment to the franchise. I had no idea that he would agree to this but he DID! And it was going to be his first official interview about Jurassic since he was announced as Director. Going not to some major magazine or news outlet but directly to the fans. So, after a week or so we recorded and released our interview, gaining a lot of media buzz. And this is where Tim came into the picture, by hearing about our podcast, and researching who we were he reached out to myself for help on his (yet to be completed novel). Tim?

TG: In early 2014, I befriended Jack on Twitter. I was writing a creative story about a space exploration mission and I needed an artist to push some of my ideas forward. At the same time, all this Jurassic Park 4 news was coming through full of rumours and speculation. I think in February there was a JoBlo article that hinted at the possibility of an open park run by an Indian billionaire with the surname Patel. I asked Jack if he’d be interested in making a fan-based viral website for this company showing they’d recently acquired InGen. He was totally in, which was great as I don’t think I would have had the motivation to do it alone. Everything happened quickly after that - the Patel site went up and Twitter went nuts. Colin and Universal both saw the site and how it generated so much reaction. Luckily for us they reached out! The rest is history.

Most people will be familiar with your viral work on Masrani Global – the website which was featured heavily in Jurassic World’s marketing. How did you go about constructing the website?

TG: We had a few months in 2014 to work on our ideas, content and so forth before we were flown out to LA to meet with Colin, Frank and the team at Universal to present our ideas. That trip was when we had a first look at some of the materials from the film as they’d just wrapped shooting. I think straight away I said to Jack, “Wow - this film is going to be amazing. We really need to make something that blows everyone away”. Fortunately for us Universal were fantastic and sent us an assortment of assets that we could use. From there Jack and I worked on making a website that was rich in content and fun to explore. We had to make sure someone could dive into 20 years’ worth of lost information but not do it all in 5 minutes. This included us brainstorming and writing original ideas about events that (in all likelihood) would have occurred over the twenty years since 1993’s Jurassic Park. Colin’s help and feedback was instrumental to our success. A day before we went live he told us the website was “understated, thoughtful and rich”, which was a great compliment for us.

On the website, we see a lot of World Building – grounding Masrani Global as not only a conglomerate who built Jurassic World, but a conglomerate who have ties to the security, power and fuel industries. What kind of real-world inspiration did you use to ground this fictional company?

TG: I think I recall there being a little bit of Wayne Enterprises in the mix, but we were honestly making a lot of this conglomerate up during our Skype brainstorming sessions. We were told by Colin in LA that Simon was a billionaire with interests in Oil and Telecom, so we knew first up we had to create two companies and give them some backstory. Then we looked at various other specialties a billionaire might be interested in such as engineering, aviation, healthcare and data consulting. We had a bit of fun with some of their names along the way too. Axis Boulder is an anagram for Diabolus Rex, the original name for the Indominus. Timack Construction was a play on our own names and for constructing the world of Masrani Global. Masrani Oil became Masrani Energy, which was a fun environmentally friendly rebranding campaign we launched. In hindsight, perhaps there was a little bit of Elon Musk in there too!

A fan favourite feature of the Masrani Global website is the Backdoor – providing insight into the Jurassic world beyond what we see on screen. How did you decide what to include here?

TG: The Backdoor was a really important addition we wanted to include in the viral campaign because Masrani Global as a company would only be interested in positive PR on their main website. The Backdoor was where you could look for archives and Easter Eggs that had direct connections to some of the previous films. We felt this was a platform where we could really go into some details about Henry Wu’s character in particular, so a lot of focus went on his archived logs and you can see his thought processes evolving as he picks up new discoveries since the early 1990s. We’d also come up with the acronym of I.B.R.I.S. when Colin mentioned to us that Owen’s program didn’t have a name in the film. So, we were like - “Let’s name it!”

JE: This was an idea that we jumped on because we felt that one of the major parts of the original Jurassic movie was this notion of hacking into parks systems. We hoped early on to bring that aspect to the site so fans could play the part of hackers. The site wouldn’t launch until the day of the home media release, so it was a case of better late than never. One of the must haves for this section of the site was the timeline of events. For years, we had been seeing wishes for Universal to officially release a timeline of events that would help explain things more coherently than before. So, we sat down and researched what dates would be best to highlight and what to keep hidden. We agreed to keep the events of the movies under “Restricted Access” because the fans, and audience would already know what happened and the company would want the information contained within to be harder to reach. This would also allow us the opportunity to bring stuff to the surface later down the pipeline if need be, and with the release of the reports of the DPG website we made that happen.

We also see areas which retroactively add to the story-line – such as some of the information about the Spinosaurus. What kind of approach did you take when adding to the history of the franchise?

TG: Where there were opportunities to promote Colin and Derek’s story-line we did that first and foremost. I consider the viral websites as prequels or bridges with opportunities to connect the films together in a linear method (i.e. timeline) and so that responsibility came second. The third level of writing was left to our own creativity. We had to be very careful here as we didn’t want to upset any fans by including contradictory or irrelevant information, and we also didn’t want to tread on Colin and Derek’s territory. We noticed that Jurassic Park 3 in particular had some opportunities for expanded ideas, and there were some positive elements to Jurassic Park: The Game that we could “borrow” and bring into the film canon’s world - such as Mt. Sibo and the Bribri tribe. Overall my favourite additions were creating the I.B.R.I.S. acronym and writing a prequel for Vic Hoskins’ character in connecting him to the Jurassic Park 3 Pteranodon “cleanup”. Both these pieces seemed to be well liked by the fans and have made it to official games and booklets.

JE: We took a careful approach. We never wanted to spoon feed the fans information, and that meant not revealing everything at once. We carefully decided what to dive into, and used the position of the company Masrani Global, or the organization of the DPG as vessels for information within that universe, meaning the reader would only know what they would know, or were willing to publish to help their cause. So, for example, on Masrani Global it mentions Simon personally hiring Hoskins after his working during the “cleanup” of some flying reptiles over Canada in 2001, but if you watch Jurassic World, when those characters meet, it’s their first actual encounter with one another. So, the website was painting a nicer picture to what was really happening, a corporate mask as it were. Whereas the DPG are fighting for a specific cause, and will only release what they felt would help gain traction behind their vision for saving the dinosaurs of Isla Nublar. The dialogue I have seen fans undergo, trying to dissect or understand what is happening is reflective (I think) of what people within the Jurassic universe would be talking about. So, the fans and the fictional people who have witnessed the events go down in the world of Jurassic are closer than ever.

So – Masrani Global has been one aspect of your work with the franchise, but for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom you doubled down with both the Dinosaur Protection Group and the Extinction Now! Group. What inspired these ideas?

JE: The DPG was already in motion when we were brought back for round 2. It plays a pivotal role in getting our protagonists to the island within the plot of the movie, so the ideas for that site were given a jump start here. When we visited the DPG set we got a real sense for how the site should look and feel, and how juxtaposing it was going to be when compared to Masrani Global. However, Extinction Now! came about in an entirely different way.

TG: That’s right, the DPG was already central to the plot of the film. Whilst pitching our ideas for the DPG to the team at Universal, we came up with the idea of an antithesis group, which we simply referred to as the “Anti-Dinosaur Group���. It didn’t get the green light until much later in early 2018 when Colin reached out to us wanting to promote the same kind of idea. Believing the DPG were only representing half the ethical debate, Jack and I worked with Colin to build a campaign based on some fun back and forth social media banter, and really get the debate going. Thus, Extinction Now! was born as a collective effort between us and Colin. Can’t forget mentioning Manuel’s incredible San Diego video too which really kicked things off!

So, we saw you really double down with this project – with a heavier influence on Social Media. What was it like getting to work on trends such as the Dinosaur Adoption campaign?

TG: I came up with the idea for “Adopt a Dino” very early after hearing about the DPG project, even before we were booked to visit the set of the filming. Universal loved the concept so much they ran with it separately and created a whole campaign - including badges and t-shirts. We knew it was going to be a big hit with the wider audience because we did something similar on the Masrani Global website that let people interact and “apply” for a job, which turned out to be more successful than we’d anticipated. Watching Adopt a Dino all unfold in the way it did on National Dinosaur Day was very rewarding.

For the DPG, we also see content from the set of the DPG office, with stars like Bryce Dallas Howard contributing. What was it like working alongside these people to build the fictional world of the DPG?

JE: We didn’t exactly work alongside those actors, but we did write a list of phrases for them to record for videos, or sound bites for them to say which made it into the videos. We wrote those on the DPG set, and handed them to Bryce Dallas Howard’s assistant so once the main filming on that set had been wrapped, they would use the cameras to shoot the viral videos using what we wrote. However Universal worked on the content for the videos, and sent them our way once completed so we could integrate them on the site.

Is there anything else you’d like to add about working on these epic-scale Jurassic Projects? I think to the average fan it is hard to comprehend just how much work goes into these projects!

JE: There’s months of preparation that goes on behind the scenes, including ideas, and pages of documentation that doesn’t get used. One example from the last campaign was this idea to have a simple video game appear within the Kids Section of the DPG. We worked with Manuel to design how this game would look and what it would be. Our idea was to have the player be a triceratops escaping the volcanic eruption on Nublar, trying to get to the East dock to be airlifted to safety by the DPG. However other more crucial things came up, and we decided to abandon the game. In hindsight, I think it would have been OTT, that site was already packed with plenty of goodies. On top of that there’s the aspect of where our team members operate from on Earth. Chaos Theorem works globally, so keeping up with time-zones whilst we work, other external work we might have, family life, social life, and R&R, there is never a dull day.

However – these big projects are not all the pair of you are working on! Can you tell us a little about Chaos Theorem?

TG: Chaos Theorem I think is something that’s going to be evolving over time. Right now, I like to think of it as a digital storytelling entity that is lucky to possess some talented individuals who aspire to work on BIG ideas.

What is the dream with Chaos Theorem – where would you like it to be in five years’ time?

JE: My hope is for Chaos Theorem to be working on its own productions. Bringing our own method and flavour to the world of storytelling. But with anything large scale like this it’s one step at a time. So, we’ll just have to see how it all plays out.

TG: Like Jack says - producing our own creative content. Lucasfilm and Amblin are very big inspirations for me. I’m not just talking about the obvious stories like Indiana Jones or E.T., but early short films like THX 1138 4EB and Amblin’ really set the tone for what Lucas and Spielberg were going to do for the rest of their lives.

Where can people go to learn more about Chaos Theorem, and how can they support your continued work as the company grows?

TG: We’re working behind the scenes on building a website at www.chaostheorem.com and we’ve just kicked off our Facebook page https://fb.me/chaostheoremdigital/ recently where we’re posting videos and a bit of content related to the Masrani and DPG campaigns. We’d love for the community to keep in touch and follow us.

Lastly – what would your one piece of advice be for anyone looking to get into film marketing?

 TG: If we’re talking digital marketing then I’d say two things -

Grow your imagination. People will be attracted to something they haven’t seen before. If it’s already been done then try to make it better. Don’t be afraid to share your ideas because just discussing them can lead to even greater ones.

Learn the internet. Web development is important if you want to be creating a website. Not Wordpress and WIX type stuff because creators will want you to be dynamic. HTML5, CSS and JavaScript is a good way to go. Social media management is a must, and the more Adobe you learn the better. Get out there and create!

 JE: Thanks guys!!!

 No Jack and Tim – thank you for taking the time out your busy schedules to have a chat with me about all things marketing for the Jurassic franchise! I really appreciate it.

 Make sure you check out Chaos Theorem, and stay tuned for additional interviews, features and much, much more here on The Jurassic Park Podcast.

Written by: Tom Fishenden

[frackadactyl]

Comic Theory: How Schizophrenic is Hank Pym

An exploration in how a character presents himself and what he became.

Henry "Hank" Pym is one of the most well known characters in comic book history. He was the first Ant-Man, discovering the Pym Particles that allow anything they touch to shrink or grow. Heck, he experiences growth from the tiny ant to the gigantic Goliath and even bigger Giant-Man. He even shrunk back down to become Yellowjacket and even the Wasp which is the source of some of the most controversial topics about him.

Welcome to Comic Theory where I look at facts and what happened in the convoluted history of comic books to offer a plausible explanation on why things act the way they do.

Now with Ant-Man and the Wasp hitting the theaters, people will be proud to know that Marvel Studios is not making Hank Pym into the mentally unstable person he's known for in the comics. I mean, they gave the Yellowjacket identity and mental degradation to Darren Cross in the first Ant-Man movie, the supervillain who actions had Scott Lang become the next Ant-Man. Afterall, what's worse than wearing a cheesy costume other than having the entire appearance be in CG?

But when it comes to the comics, Hank Pym has a lot of issues: creating the menacing AI known as Ultron, becoming cocky after much trial and error, creating a desperate attempt at reconciliation, and worst of all attacking his then wife Janet van Dyne. The early comics show Hank having gone through exposure to chemicals derived from Pym Particle formulas. However there is a problem with this, several other characters like the several other Ant-Men and Wasps have been exposed to the same amount of Pym Particles with Janet van Dyne's body actually producing her own Pym Particles and Hank is the only one who suffered mental breakdowns.

How would Pym Particles even affect someone's mentality, shrinking and growing certain parts of their brain? Oh man that could cause serious brain damage and tumors. Wait, it's also stated that Pym particles use mass and matter from other planes to equalize the size and mass of the subject. But if that's the only case, it could cause some serious mutations and more cancer. Besides, it looks like the Pym Particles used by the Marvel characters affect the whole bodily network of a subject not just one part of them. Then again, this might have to do with alterations to the formula applied to them.

As for Hank's condition, well comics on later dates suggest that he might have actually developed schizophrenia naturally. While schizophrenia has no known key cause studies show that family history, environment, and altered brain chemistry play roles. We'll be skipping the brain chemistry as people have hand-waved that too many times with Pym Particles and it's been established that Hank is a more unique case.

For most of his childhood and his early career as a scientist, he was idealistic and imaginative where he was encouraged by his loved ones to enjoy himself but was pushed down by people in his community to be more serious. He even had married before Janet until his wife was later killed (not to mention he had a daughter who turned up decades later as the latest Wasp). When Pym Particles were discovered, Hank actually wanted to get rid of the shrinking formula but later kept it to become Ant-Man.

No wonder Ultron wanted to look more like an ant. When he shared his adventures with Janet as she became Wasp, and later founded the Avengers; Hank began to feel inferior to his colleagues. When you have the charming Captain America, the tech genius billionaire Iron Man, and a God of Thunder you can almost guarantee that the feeling of being an extra will pop-up. By that point he experimented in different methods to become bigger than himself as Giant-Man and Goliath and later creating an AI using his own mind as a base. That was when the uglier side of Hank Pym started to manifest in the form of one of the Avengers' greatest enemies, Ultron.

Ultron had hypnotized Hank to forget about the robot as it reeked havoc. Now despite how it's usually been portrayed, hypnotism only works if the person being hypnotized wants to give in. Meaning Hank Pym chose to compartmentalize a more unstable part of himself and scapegoated it into the mechanized monstrosity. This part of Hank would manifest again in Hank himself as he was going through the stresses of his relationship with Janet, taking the new identity of Yellowjacket. And in the complicated history afterwards, it eventually lead to things going downhill for Hank Pym.

While he married Janet, he was haunted by his anxieties and inability as a scientist in recent times and tried to bottle it all up. But the added stress lead to his court martial after a mission went wrong. Desperate to regain his reputation and going through a mental breakdown, Hank created a robot to attack the Avengers that he would later defeat. Janet however tried to stop him which lead to the infamous scene that labeled Hank a "wife-beater". Top that with Hank later getting expelled from the Avengers and his divorce from Janet, and you get a "guy who fell from grace" story.

The scene that ruined it all. Now before I go into more story detail, Jim Shooter explained that the above scene was supposed to be an accident as a gesture of dismissal that accidentally struck Janet. But Bob Hall misinterpreted the act and instead showed Hank losing his temper and lashing out at Janet. Which brings up a point that could be used as a reference. One of the affects of schizophrenia is actually thoughts and experiences that seem out of touch with reality. Due to Hank's mental breakdown, it's possible Hank doesn't remember what exactly happened and since Janet was the only other witness and was the victim of being struck, her fears might've caused her to exaggerate what occurred. This could have lead to Hank accepting that Bob Hall's interpretation of events was the real thing.

Now before any of you start trolling in the comment section, you should know that I'm not the only one who thinks this might be the case. Another blog called The Comic's Cube wrote a post that explained that the issue trivializes domestic violence and disregards mental illnesses, something that Pym clearly is. Another blog by Colin Smith describes how the writers and by their writing Janet made mistakes regarding Hank's mental wellness and allowing him to continue, which in real life emergency situations can affect a person in the worst ways.

Really shoulda thought about a therapist first Janet. While Hank Pym might've hit Janet, a real life court decision would have made a full investigation into the causes, and the comics never even brought a therapist who took notes on the situation. They even had a real life relationship outside of the superhero costumes; meaning they could've explained to a judge about their marital problems without compromising their status as Avengers.

But back to Hank, he was at the end of his rope and had to go through a lot of therapeutic situations to better himself, especially his rise back up in West Coast Avengers. It was through genuine love, affection, and the will to forgive himself that Hank managed to pull through.

Unfortunately, schizophrenia is a lifelong affliction that can rear its ugly head at some crucial points in a person's life. For Hank Pym it came back in the form of his worst creations, first as Yellowjacket joining the Illuminati during an event that could have been avoided had they just come out; and then in Ultron. Not only did Ultron nearly succeed in wiping out organic life, he showed how Hank's mental illness will leave scars that will never go away. This all came full circle when Hank actually combines with Ultron into a cyborg. Hank's mind eventually interfaced with Ultron becoming the darkest version of himself with Ultron's hatred for the Avengers mixed with Pym's insecurities. By this time, Hank has been battling with himself and this time can't scapegoat it on Ultron or Yellowjacket.

Oh Hank, you really are your own worst enemy.

By the time Hank inevitably comes back with Ultron out of his system, it's going to take a lot of therapy and Hank Pym just might have to go the route of his MCU counterpart, retire from being a superhero and live a long life surrounded by the people who actually care about him. I wonder if Doc Sampson can be of help in this sense.

But that's a theory... a theory that should be taken with serious consideration... But I'm not a Marvel staff member, so I hope they're reading this! Thanks for coming to the end and I hope you come back for more.