#Gaetan is like

[proheromidoriyashouto]

Jaskier who is losing his eye sight because someone cursed him to stop eyeing their wife and ope guess he can’t see anybody now, and wants a sight hound but he kept putting it off because acknowledging it would make it real but he’s reached the point of no return and for all that he is a rising star at Oxenfurt University he is from a rich family, naive, and easy to trick so a mage sells him a straight up barghest they bred like noble ladies breed lapdogs except this is a chaos beast. a post-conjunction freak. a vaguely dog shaped crime against nature.

and it LOVES Jaskier. just LOVES all the smooches and scritches from this man who does not smell of fear or intent to harm. LOVES roasted mutton bone dinner treats for being a “good girl”. LOVES snuggling with a guy who can’t tell its not a hairless dog but actually A Problem For City Living. and all it has to do is keep the hand that feeds it happy, by doing tasks, and safe, mostly from himself.

it is smarter than any actual dog due to mage intervention in its domestication so it understands this trade off is pretty sweet. cats have got this “adopt a two-leg idiot thing” right.

and the University keeps trying to hire Witchers to deal with it, but they have to meet Jaskier, and Jaskier LOVES his big cuddly dog and LOVES the idea of Big Strong Monster Hunters coming to talk. and the Witchers are just like “That’s a monster, young man.“ and Jaskier says, “She’s my puppy and I have enough money to make you go away.”

and the Witchers initially think this is a threat, but Jaskier just writes them a bank note for REDONKULOUS amounts of coin to fuck off and let me live please and since it hasn’t hurt anyone or even growled at the Witchers themselves and with Witchers being so dirt fucking poor most of them just fuck right off and live it up a little bit, only noting in their journals to keep an ear out for this kid in the future with no idea how that’s going to come to pass

some Witchers even try the old come-back-in-a-different-get-up-trick to try and get more money off this clearly rich sucker, but Jaskier remembers the sound of their voices and, as fascinated by Witchers as he is, brings up things they’ve told him and is just generally a good host and kind person to them so they feel bad trying to scam the blind kid and leave before having an existential crisis about it

until the Wolves hear about it. and they have too much moral backbone to just let it go. this college idiot may think that throwing around his family money is enough to get his way but they are going to disabuse him of this notion before people start dying or the beast begins spreading its’ affliction to actual dogs.

they send Geralt. which is a mistake. because he agrees to allow Jaskier to come with him to find and identify the mage that sold him the barghest and just leads to twenty years of shenaniganry because they. can. not. find. this snakeoil sales man.

except Jaskier thinks he’s just been traveling with his two very best friends in the whole wide world, writing songs depicting Witchers as heroes and the best of men, being guided by a post-Conjunction monster the entire time.

it isn’t until someone points out the obvious solution of trying to cure Jaskier’s curse instead, rendering the need for a sight hound moot to begin with, that things begin to fall to pieces.

Jaskier begins to feel like he’s losing Geralt. wonders if Geralt ever saw him as the friend that Jaskier felt they had become or if he’s just been a contract the Witcher has humored the entire time. which is not helped by the events of the King Niedamir’s Mountain.

and then someone commits the cardinal sin of pointing out that Jaskier’s “Seeing Eye Dog“ has no eyes itself. it’s been “seeing” for him and his non-functioning eyes out of its non-existent eyes for their entire acquaintance.

Jaskier remains in complete denial about it even after being granted his sight again. “Her eyes are just closed. You wouldn’t get it, she’s pedigree, Geralt. Of course she doesn’t resemble any mutt off the street. She has papers.”

[akhuna]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aiden & Gaetan (The Witcher), Gaetan & female OC, Gaetan & Joel (the Witcher), Gaetan & Schrödinger (The Witcher) Characters: Gaetan (The Witcher), Aiden (The Witcher), Joël (The Witcher), Schrödinger (The Witcher), Original Female Character(s), Guxart (The Witcher), Lexandre (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Dyn Marv Caravan (The Witcher), Cat School (The Witcher), Mentor/Protégé, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Team as Family, so what if Gaetan had a kitten, and if it was terrified of thunderstorms, caring Gaetan, Fluff and Angst, Language Barrier, dwarvish

Summary:

Gaetan's kitten Brigitt is facing her terror of thunderstorms and goes out into the nightly Camp of Dyn Marv to search for her mentor.

Based on @lenkalost‘s Tales of Dyn Marv series!

[pseu-donymous]

(jaded cowboy voice) i been fightin’ tooth and nail for bald and balding guys on this here platform for a long time… *adjusts brim of hat* it’s a thankless job, but someone has to do it..

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Ik it's an ick for some people and I get why but the age gap is a huge thing for me with Letho/Gaetan. Doesn't matter if we're doing canon or an AU. They need to be at least 15 human years (or witcher equivalent) apart.

[haretobeloved]

the fact that Mole is scared of heights and probably covered himself in a blanket on the plane during Milo's Return not only because it was cold where they were flying but also as a way to self soothe his anxieties :(

[watchingalotofmovies]

Music Hole

Music Hole    [trailer]

A little accountant officiating in a shady cabaret has marital concerns with his wife. After a violent argument, he wakes up to discover a surprise. It's the macabre and zany starting point of a burlesque thriller.

What a crazy little movie. Short, to the point. Deserves to be more widely seen.

[inexplicifics]

More snippet requests: L/V cloaked, Gaetan/Letho Invictus 'verse, knight!Milena

L/V cloaked:

But first Lambert has to get the fuck out of these ropes, and they’re tied tight and well, and now they’re slick with his blood, too. He curses, muffled by the gag, and twists his wrists again - And then freezes, still as a startled rabbit, at the sound of unfamiliar voices. “Ah, hell,” says someone - a low, slightly raspy male voice. “Shit, it’s been a decade then,” someone else agrees - also male, slightly higher. “Fuck,” says a third man, soft and gravelly. “Why the hell do they do this?” the second voice asks, and then there’s a hand on Lambert’s shoulder, warm and startlingly gentle. “Hold still, lad. Let me get those ropes off you.” The heavy cloak is flipped aside, and strong fingers begin to work on the ropes. Lambert holds still, too confused to do anything but obey. And then, to his utter horror - “Get away from him,” says a voice he knows as well as his own heartbeat. “Don’t you touch him, monsters.”

Gaetan/Letho in Invictus:

Working for Coën is…weird, but good. Weird, because Gaetan hasn’t actually had a regular job like this before, and being polite to stupid people is not his strong suit. Good, because Coën handles most of the talking to people, and Gaetan just has to make the engines work properly again. He likes working with engines. They make sense. The bits all fit together and if they don’t then you’ve found the problem, now haven’t you? Gaetan actively enjoys taking a cranky, pissy, unhappily grumbling engine and poking at it until it’s purring like a pleased cat. It’s immensely satisfying. Also he’s getting paid for it, and pretty damn good wages too, which is nothing to be sneezed at. And Coën’s an even-tempered sort of man, who doesn’t expect the impossible and does know a hell of a lot about engines; Gaetan’s reasonably fond of him, and trusts him at least not to actively screw Gaetan over on purpose. Possibly a bit more, even.

knight!Milena:

Give the maybe-knight credit, as soon as his horse’s ears swivel, he’s whirling, drawing his sword again. Lambert stops a little ways away and nods as politely as he can manage. “D’you want the useful bits of that?” he asks, gesturing over his shoulder at the dead manticore. The maybe-knight shakes his head. “I will need something as a trophy, but if you would find the rest of it useful, sir, please help yourself.” Definitely not a knight. His voice hasn’t even broken. “Where’s your fuckin’ knight-master?” Lambert asks, frowning. “You can’t possibly be old enough to be out killin’ manticores by yourself.” Hell, up close the lad barely comes to Lambert’s collarbone, and with a soprano like that, Lambert’s pretty sure he’s maybe fourteen at the absolute outside. Sure, he’s good, but even the fuckin’ trainers don’t let green boys hunt monsters.

[disasterarea-podcast]

So given the writer’s strike, some people are concerned about their shows and movies being postponed or canceled, and aside from the fact networks have already BEEN canceling shows for no reason for years (I still maintain a healthy anger about what Netflix did to Sense8), I thought I would suggest some books on disasters you might want to read if you’re into that sort of history. Which you are if you’re here, I imagine.

Note: I’m suggesting these books because most books on disasters don’t get a huge audience, and so I recommend them because this sort of writing can be hard on the writer and requires a bunch of research. We throw so much money at true crime, we can spare a few bucks for the stories of people who died in disasters.

Also, please check with these with your local small bookstore or library. Amazon can be great, but let’s lend a hand to those who need us more.

Recommended books:

“The Circus Fire,” by Stewart O’Nan - This is one my favorite books on a disaster, because the whole thing creates a very vivid image of the circus prior to the fire in Hartford in July of 1944. There’s one specific line in the book which always makes me pause because it’s so affecting, about how everyone who escaped being able to hear the sounds of the animals screaming as they died - except all of the animals were out of the tent by then.

“The Only Plane in the Sky,” by Garrett Graff - This, I highly recommend you get on audiobook. It’s an oral history of the events of 9/11 with a full cast, and it’s incredibly affecting to listen to.

“Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic,” by Jennifer Niven - Ada Blackjack was a badass: flawed and weak at times, but hardy and steady when necessary. Half of her story is how she survived, but half is how she was exploited following her rescue. Both stories need to be known.

“Alive,” by Piers Paul Read - If you’re watching “Yellowjackets,” this should be required reading. If you’ve seen the movie adaptation from the 90s, there is WAY more you don’t know. The story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 is a tough read, but a worthy one.

“A Night to Remember,” by Walter Lord - This is to disaster nonfiction what “In Cold Blood” is to true crime. It’s not a long read, but it’s a great one. Lord had the advantage of writing the book while many of the Titanic survivors were still alive and could give a very good description of what they went through.

“Dying to Cross,” by Jorge Ramos - I recommend this not just because it is good, but because it is timely. Nineteen people died in an un-air-conditioned truck as they were attempting to make their way into the states from over the Mexican border. It’s a horrific story, and one that humanizes an issue for whom some people need to be faced with the humans involved and what they go through.

“Bath Massacre: America’s First School Bombing,” by Arnie Bernstein - Harold Schecter also wrote a very good book on the Bath school massacre called “Maniac,” but I have a preference for this version. It’s a good reminder that schools in the U.S. didn’t just become targets in the last twenty years or so.

“Into Thin Air,” by Jon Krakauer - I feel like this is a gimme, but it’s a fantastic book from someone who was actually on Mount Everest during the 1996 disaster and knew those involved very well. I happen to like Krakauer’s work anyway - I even like “Into the Wild” despite my feelings about McCandless and his legacy - but it’s understandably my favorite.

“And the Band Played On,” by Randy Shilts - The one thing I will say is that Shilts’ treatment of Gaetan Dugas is *rough* to say the least and outright wrong on some points, God knows. But it’s still an amazing book, and if you come out of it not wanting to dig up Reagan and punch him a bunch I’m impressed at your restraint.

“Triangle: The Fire That Changed America,” by David von Drehle - The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire is one of the disasters I am most interested in, and I would argue this is the definitive book on the subject. Also, if this book introduces you to both Clara Lemlich and Frances Perkins … I mean, talk about badass women.

“The Radium Girls,” by Kate Moore - Look, I’ll say this. If you know of the Radium Girls, this is a great book on their story. If you don’t know, go in blind and prepared to be horrified.

“Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine,” by Anne Applebaum - Ukraine has always been a target. During the Holodomor, they were victims of one of the worst genocides in history.

“Midnight in Chernobyl,” by Adam Higginbotham - Like the miniseries? This is a great source for more information for what happened at Chernobyl and all of the ass-covering involved.

"Boston Strong: A City's Triumph Over Tragedy," by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge - If you’re interested in the Boston marathon bombing, I really thought this book did a good job of connecting the stories of the victims, the authorities searching for the killers, and the killers themselves.

“Show Me the Bodies: How We Let Grenfell Tower,” by Peter Apps - As I understand it, Apps did a lot of covering the Grenfell Tower fire for the British press, and it shows. He provides a mountain of information, and you will come out of reading this book absolutely LIVID about what authorities allowed to happen in Grenfell and so many other council estates in the UK.

“Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919,” by Stephen Puleo - I feel as though the molasses flood gets treated like a joke a lot of the time, but y’all, twenty people died. That area of Boston was *wrecked*. The photos of the devastation are terrifying. Puleo treats all of this with the proper respect it deserves.

“In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex,” by Nathaniel Philbrick - Forget the movie. Read the book.

“The Great Influenza,” by John M. Barry - Want to read about the 1918 flu epidemic? Want to be mad that a hundred years later we didn’t learn a damn thing?

Now, that’s just a start. If anyone wants, I can always post photos of my disaster book collection on Kindle and next to my recording desk. Or if there’s a specific disaster you’re interested in, I may know of a good book about it you can read.

But just remember if SAG and the directors’ guild joins the strike too - there is so much out there to occupy your time until they come back. Entertainment work is work, and it deserves to be supported financially and fairly as such. Rock on, WGA. ✊

[firetrucks-fastcars]

Feel the Heat

1.6K words | Logan Sargeant/Reader | Logan has a rough day in Qatar, luckily, having you there makes it better

You knew something was wrong. Logan hadn’t looked well before he got in the car, cheeks flushed red and sweat was already rolling down his neck even without the layers of his balaclava and helmet. He’d brushed you off when you’d tried to check on him earlier, swearing it was just nerves. You’d taken his word for it, but based on the concerned looks Benny and Gaetan had been shooting at him all afternoon, there was more to it than he was letting on. 

You knew he’d been fighting off some flu-like symptoms earlier in the week before you’d arrived but he’d assured you that a little bit of day-quil and a lot of water had been enough to have him feeling well enough to drive. Obviously, that was coming back to bite him as he fell down the order of cars and radioed in to say he wasn’t feeling well. 

You wanted to march out onto the track and drag him out of the car yourself when you heard him tell James that he could finish the race. You knew him better than anyone, you knew when he wasn’t feeling like himself and you knew at that moment there was no way he was finishing the race. But Logan was stubborn, especially when he felt like he had something to prove and currently, he felt like he had a lot to prove. He tried to act tough, like the talk about losing his seat wasn’t getting to him but you knew better. You knew he was harder on himself than any team principal, media representative or random troll on twitter would ever be and he was feeling the pressure. And apparently, the pressure was enough to make him want to continue driving even though he was two laps away from throwing up in his helmet, passing out, or both. 

He went on like that for a few more laps before James more or less ordered him to throw in the towel and come back to the pits. “Let’s take care of you,” James had said. That was exactly what you intended to do. If Logan wouldn’t take care of himself, you would have to do it for him.

A hand wrapping around your upper arm distracted you and you tore your gaze away from the tv screen where you were watching his FW45 creep around the track at an agonizing pace on his way back to the pit lane.

“C’mon,” Ben said, tugging your headset from your ears. “He’s gonna need you.”

You stood against the wall while the engineers backed Logan’s car into the garage and Gaetan and Ben were at his side in an instant. You watched his arms shake violently as he raised his hands to try and lift himself from the car but he was too weak. The engineers wrapped their arms around him and pulled him up, helping him maneuver his legs over the halo and place his feet on solid ground. His legs were trembling and Ben and Gaetan were holding most of his weight as they walked him through the garage. The rest of the pit crew formed a circle around them, blocking Logan’s struggle from the prying eyes of the SkySports cameras and you wanted to cry, knowing how much they loved and cared about your boy. Ben called your name and motioned for you to follow them. You hurried after them, kneeling in front of Logan as soon as they had him in a chair. He was way too weak for them to get him to his driver’s room and you knew he’d be making a trip to medical soon. It seemed like Gaetan was already on the phone with the ambulance. 

You undid his helmet strap with gentle fingers, pushing it gently off his head and handing it to a mechanic hovering close-by. When you removed his balaclava you could see how pitiful he looked, cheeks flushed with fever and eyes full of tears.

“Baby,” he whispered, voice wrecked. “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh,” you comforted, running your fingers through his sweaty hair. “It’s okay, Loges. I’m worried about you, I don’t care about a stupid race.”

“I feel sick.”

“I know, baby. We’re gonna take care of you. Do you think you can drink some water?”

He nodded and you motioned for Ben to bring his bottle over. Ben stood behind him, strong hands on his shoulders as you stayed kneeling, holding the straw for him as he took small sips from his water. 

“He’s burning up,” Ben muttered, knowing Logan was currently too out of it to register the two of you talking about him. 

“Ice packs?” you asked. “We can put them under his arms to bring his temperature down a little bit.”

“I’ll see what I can find.”

As Ben went off in search of supplies to bring down the fever you were sure Logan had you set his water to the side and worked on getting the top half of his suit down.

He barely resisted as you undid the velcro strap the top and pulled down the zipper so that you could tug it off his arms to fall at his waist. Ben returned a few minutes later holding ice packs he’d stolen from the cooler that held drinks for the mechanics.

“The ambulance is almost here to take him to medical. Do you want to go with him?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. When they release him I’ll take the two of you back to the hotel. James already has the PR team dealing with his media obligations so don’t let him worry about any of that.”

“I’ll make a statement for his instagram later tonight and run it by them.”

“Perfect. You’re good wag material you know,” Ben teased, nudging you with his elbow.

“Oh shut up.”

“Oi, medical is here,” one of the engineers yelled from the front of the garage. 

Logan was a little more stable this time around and was able to support some of his weight as you and Ben helped him to the ambulance.

“Don’t leave me,” he said, whining like a little boy and gripping your wrist.

“I’m coming with you honey,” you promised. “Just let them take care of you.”

The visit to medical was an hours long ordeal as they assessed Logan and kept him lying on a cot for observation. When the two of you were finally released back to the garage, Logan’s fever was down significantly and he was talking a little more clearly. He only had to lean slightly on you as you walked back to his driver’s room after being dropped off and you had a hunch that was more for comfort than actual support. 

“Severe dehydration,” you reported to Ben as you send Logan off to change before going back to the hotel to shower and get some sleep. “Not helped by the fact that he was sick earlier in the week.”

“He’s not the only one. Ocon threw up in the car, Stroll went straight to the ambulance after getting out of the car and Alex is being treated for heat exposure.”

“Poor Alex. Anyone else?”

“Other drivers are complaining about feeling faint and blurry vision. So far no one else has gone down. Poor Max, Lando and Oscar could barely stand on the podium though.”

“That’s awful.”

“I know. I’m just glad everyone is okay.”

“Me too. I just know he’s going to beat himself up for this.”

“He will but he has you. That helps more than you know.”

Logan was relatively silent on the ride back to the hotel and on the elevator back up to his room. Luckily, the electrolyte drinks you had ordered for him on the car ride over were waiting for you and you cracked open his favorite flavor and pushed it into his hands.

“Drink,” you instructed. 

He obeyed, drinking half of it before putting the cap back on and setting it to the side.

“Go shower and get ready for bed,” you ran your fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He emerged from the shower ten minutes later and promptly climbed into bed, laying his body on top of yours and burying his face in your shoulder.

“No one is disappointed in you, Loges. You know that right?”

“I’m disappointed in myself.”

“You shouldn’t be. You’re sick baby, there’s nothing you can do about that. It takes a lot of strength to admit you can’t go on anymore and I’m so proud of you for doing that today. Everyone in that garage was way more worried about you than they were any points or anything else. They care about you and want you to be safe. And so do I.”

“I know you do. I just feel like I can’t catch a break. Every weekend it’s something. And this weekend was going so well. Other than the mess up in the sprint I was doing well and the pace was good. Then this happened.”

“It’s a rough patch. They happen to everyone. I’m so proud of you for continuing to push through. I’m so so proud of you everytime you go out on track baby.”

“What if I don’t ever score points?”

“You will. But even if you don’t, that will never change the way I feel about you.”

“Promise?”

“I pinky promise.”

He held up his pinky and you linked yours with his, pressing a kiss to his hand.

“I love you.”

“I love you more Loges. Now get some rest okay?”

“Okay.”

[catscraftsandcommentary]

So, I had a terrible (hilarious) idea:

There's about a million stories of Lambert bringing Aiden to Kaer Morhen for the first time, but what if Lambert brings Aiden AND HALF A DOZEN OF HIS BROTHERS to Kaer Morhen for the first time?

He just shows up, and Vesemir is like "Lambert...who have you brought with you..." 😡

And Lambert's like "oh, this is my new horse." And just. Pretends that he doesn't have his secret lover, VESEMIR'S secret lover (Guxart), Aiden's adopted Cat dads (Cedric and Axel), and two of his closest brothers (Gaetan and Kiyan). All of whom look very bedraggled, although Guxart is grinning rather horribly at Vesemir.

And Vesemir thought Geralt's bard was going to be the most trouble this winter...

[eskel-loves-lilbleater]

Geralt/Triss or Eskel/Triss?

If I have to chose between those two and ONLY those two, then I definitely go with Eskel/Triss. I feel like Triss & Geralt's relationship, both from the books and the games, has SO many issues that it's rather toxic. I don't hate it, I just think they can do better.

That being said, my actual preferred pairings?

Yennefer/Triss:

Completely fan-based, I know, but I feel they meet on a more even level, have comparable life experience, understandings etc. I think they are better for each other and make each other better, than most of the alternatives.

Geralt/Jaskier:

I mean, it's really Geralt and ANYBODY else BUT Triss or Yen but I understand why him and Jaskier are such a popular pair. Again, they make each other better, for the most part.

I also like Geralt/Eskel and Geralt/Regis however, if I had to pick faves?

Eskel/Regis:

Bloody absolute rare-pair and I don't get it. Lots of people adore Geralt & Regis together (which I get) but I think Eskel would be an even better match. The love of books and philosophy, animals and simple pleasures. And we KNOW Eskel would not have the slightest issue with Regis' species affiliation. Big, brawny Eskel would LOVE someone who can take and give back like a Higher Vampire. Feral Eskel getting all protective and Regis finding it adorable because he REALLY doesn't need it. They would be so sweet together.

Lambert/?:

But what about the youngest, surliest wolf? I mean, any combo of Lambert/Aiden/Voltehre/Milena, I just eat that shit right up. Absolute GIVE ME MORE and I will be happy. (Big thank you to @inexplicifics for creating so much of this and inventing Milena. Big happy spot in my heart!!)

Or Lambert/Eskel lol

Other fave pairings:

Letho/Gaetan

Vesemir/Guxart

Ivar/Keldar

And why is there so very little love for Arnaghad? I need giant bear love!

<3

[proheromidoriyashouto]

witcher modern au where witchers have to put those colorful claw caps over their toe nails so they don't tear their work boots, floors and carpets, and blankets up by walking or instinct based kneading and they all absolutely hate it.

its their version of humans not wanting to touch their eyes even for medical reasons. melitele forbid they need to trim a hangnail or treatment for archspore fungus under their nails.

they will Ignore The Problem. this infection is for the job. i have too many toes anyway. i will just buy news boots more often. i did not stub my toe on the coffee table and start to cry. i am a Powerful Mutant.

Jaskier is sneaking the caps on Geralt when he's in a post-hunt potions crashnap. Ciri gets Geralt to trim them during 'spa day' pretend play because he can't deny his precious daughter anything, but always escapes before she can even glance at the glue because its so smelly, so Jaskier takes his turn to strike in the wee morning hours. (these ofieri rugs were a gift from the prince, geralt! you animal!)

Aiden is a fastidious groomer and forces himself into a salon chair because the smell of neglect is especially foul for a witcher and getting ahead of problems makes for an easier existence, but he's also not a complete degenerate like some Cats--read: Gaetan.

Lambert "happily" goes along with Aiden because he wants to make a good impression, and he likes to think he is the smartest of his brothers which would make destroying things he pays money for in a gig economy monumentally stupid, but his inner wolf is howling with misery the songs of his people the entire time a stranger is putting their hands on his pawsfeet. Aiden knows how much of a brave face he's actually putting on for his sake so rewards Lambert accordingly at home. (they have so many in-tact kneading blankets the other Cats think Something Is Up when they poke around)

Eskel grits his teeth and does the work himself often enough he doesn't have to wear the nail caps. The glue stench is overwhelmingly bad even after its cured, he can't imagine how Geralt's twice-mutated nose handles it. (he doesn't know Geralt doesn't do it himself and has to be "dog medicine pill wrapped in cheese and ham"-ed about it until after Jaskier goes an a rant after a particular tiff they've had. Eskel never lets Pretty Boy live it down.) People already don't like his face, the last thing he needs is people assuming he's as much a beast as they think witchers are by neglecting basic hygiene and the state of one's home.

Vesemir is an old dog of a witcher living in his mountain keep. He doesn't bother with that city-slicker nonsense and walks around barefoot. He only wears boots for jobs which he doesn't do much anymore, and if they rip, well, he can blame a monster. The floors of the keep were built with hard stone they'd be pressed to scatch if they tried so whats it matter. Until an old flame, the dignified and ever as lovely Countess Mignole, buys a home at the base of the mountain and suddenly it matters so much to be presentable. It is difficult to be a charming old man when your feet smell of neglected archspore infection strongly enough a human can be offput by it and you don't have boots that might last a day walking through town with a woman on his arm. (the boys and Aiden have to hold him down as he fights like a dying bear while Jaskier and Eskel Do Something about his horrible old wolf paws.) in the end, Mignole finds the assorted colors of the nail caps very charming indeed. Vesemir complains about it for the rest of his days when she's visiting the grandchildren out of town.

[akhuna]

How about 'There's more than one way to skin a cat' for the fic title game?

Ahh, it took me almost THREE DAYS (this is my first time doing this), but HERE WE GO:

I think I'd write a High School AU (based on my school experiences in Germany though), in which Lambert, who has been having a crush on Aiden for AGES wants to FINALLY grow a pair and ask Aiden out in their last year at school. The story starts at the beginning of the last school year and he has been going over his plan over the course of the summer holidays.

Since he can't do this alone and his brothers are already off to university and no real help, he needs somebody who is close to Aiden, because they haven't spent a lot of time together so far (they have maybe one or two courses together and you cannot switch seats during the school year). Lambert's plan: Befriend Aiden's friend, get invited to hangouts, and then make his move on Aiden.

As the new school year starts, Lambert realises that he has the PERFECT candidate to help him on his mission: Gaetan, who is honestly struggling again with his chemistry grades and in DESPERATE NEED of help.

Gaetan agrees to help Lambert in exchange for chemistry tutoring - but something is off, because Aiden's friend seems to have an agenda of his own ...

Chaos ensues.

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Considering what ship of mine would pull off That Dynamic and coming up only with Letho/Gaetan except it would 100% be Gaetan with the shotgun and the world-ending violent devotion. Letho is Very on board

[thewebiweaveforyou]

me, myself and i

the kiss, gaetan henrioux \\ give me a god i can relate to, blythe baird \\ ethel cain \\ anne carson \\ pinterest \\ caffeine, pt. 1, sean glatch \\ pinterest \\ unknown \\ i feel like a god right now, deathbyromy

[inexplicifics]

Where is Gaetan in the Accidental Warlord AU? Can't recall his name coming up (and not going to lie, I'm also wondering if he's one of Julita's Uncles).

His story is fighting me, but he's hanging around somewhere.

He may or may not be climbing Julita's Uncle Letho like a tree.