#General Liability Benefits

[mantisgodsdomain]

I'd like to hear about Marble and the exact context behind her... unfortunate demise.

Why, yes - we absolutely can!

Let's start with this: Marble is a Wasp Bomber, by game terms. She is very competent in making and employing explosive charges. She is, in fact, so competent at making and employing explosive charges that she is capable of producing bombs that can melt a hole in a kaiju. She was also banned from military service for collateral damage before the Wasp King turned up.

Wasp Kingdom military attitudes tend to, overwhelmingly, be shaped by the environment they live in - they border on deadlands, but more specifically Northern deadlands, where them being classified as Deadlands because of the sheer number of hazards to bug life that they have around there meaning that anything that isn't specifically adapted to the environment will be incapable of surviving well enough for any children it might produce to not end up Lesser.

There are monsters. The Wasp Military is, on a regular basis, pitted against a very large number of Beasts of all sorts, which means that having a decent supply of bugs capable of fighting them off is a necessity. Pretty much any wasp with capacity to serve is set to work as some part of fighting forces at some point, be it out in the field or repairing equipment for those who can be out in the field. Conscription is very much mandatory, and it is considered a deeply important role and a core part of a wasp's duty in the hive to, at one point or another, contribute to the fighting fitness of the Hive.

This demand - and the need for bugs associated, especially when the general danger of the territory will lead to wasp lives lost even on very standard patrols, goes to the point that the Wasp Kingdom will actively pull from demographics that most kingdoms prefer to either avoid or keep out of the line of fire - drones, kept out of the line of fire in nearly every other kingdom, are drafted just as often as workers, and the Wasp Kingdom is just about the only kingdom to actively welcome brood parasites and random out-of-kingdom bugs for the potential strategic advantages that they may offer.

With this established, Marble was been banned from active service the Wasp military forces after approximately two months of service due to her flagrant disrespect of safety procedure and astronomically high risk of friendly fire. She is, in fact, not actually allowed to do mechanical work without supervision, because not keeping track of what she's doing has an extremely high risk of her including improvements that, even while working as intended, are capable of maiming or killing their users if mishandled even slightly.

Even if Marble herself is capable of handling her inventions safely, for the most part, the Wasp Kingdom under Vanessa was entirely unwilling to take that risk. As such, she was banned from military service, as she was deemed unsuitable for just about any other potential role available to her and no one was really willing to put her within reach of any sort of potentially volatile equipment that absolutely anyone else might handle, and she spent a few years mostly just hanging around Defiant Root and making friends with the inhabitants of the Black Market.

Hoaxe put her back into military service after taking over the Wasp Kingdom.

Unfortunately, a Marble who is being actively mind controlled by someone who doesn't know shit about bomb safety and is simply setting her to whatever will be most effective offensively is even worse at safety than a Marble who is creating highly volatile explosives constructed with the assumption that whoever is using them Also has exactly as much knowledge of her own work as her.

She blew herself up. Badly.

Technically, it wasn't immediately lethal - the specific bomb that did it wasn't something that would instantly vaporize her like some of the other options! It was, instead, a crowd-control weapon, which released a fucking massive amount of heat energy and cooked everything in a hideously wide radius to cinders.

Technically, there are forms of treatment available to Bugaria that could keep her from straight-up dying to that, if they got to her in three minutes or so - mostly just Gold save crystal restoration or flat-out replacing most of her body with charmcraft, and definitely not without major damage to just about every organ in her body. Depending on the specific circumstances that she blows herself up in, it might even be survivable - it's possible for her to die even while handling the bomb properly due to things like "it has an effective range that can be measured in human-size metres" and "Hoaxe is not an effective strategist". However, this is a very remote chance, and most of the time she just dies badly.

[kc22invesmentsblog]

The Significance of Homeownership: Building Personal Wealth

Owning a home has long been considered a cornerstone of the American dream. Beyond just providing shelter, homeownership holds the potential to become the largest source of personal wealth for many individuals. In this blog post, we will explore the various reasons why homeownership is often seen as a powerful means to build personal wealth and discuss the key factors that contribute to this…

[flawseer]

On Mudwing Culture

My last deliberation on Seawings and their eccentric insult vocabulary seemed to be well-received, so here is another one of my headcanons:

Mudwings are seriously into food.

I know, pretty revolutionary take when there is only a handful of named Mudwing characters, and two of them love eating so much that it either almost or entirely eclipses their personality.

But Clay and Ochre are not what I am talking about. This isn’t about a love of eating (though many Mudwings admittedly do have that). I’m suggesting that, out of all the tribes from Pyrrhia, Mudwings are at the forefront of food preparation and culinary innovation, to the point where a large part of their culture revolves around it.

The State of Food Preparation on the Continent

Pyrrhia as a conglomerate of different cultures largely sustains its populations through hunting and gathering. The average dragon, when the hunger pangs set in, will make a hasty trip into the nearest forest, cave, or scavenger den and round up some prey animals. In most cases, this prey will go straight from the talons to the mouth, or, if the hunter is a bit more forward-thinking, into the pantry, and then from talons to the mouth.

There are a few variations of this practice; Skywings may give the carcass a quick roast on an open flame before eating it, Sandwings may dry the meat out so the excess moisture does not upset their internal water balance, Rainwings will prefer fruit over meat. Icewings will nearly always consume their prey raw and unseasoned, as their extremely delicate palate is easily overwhelmed by intense flavors that may be released through cooking.

More complex forms of food preparation seem to exist mostly outside the scope of the general populace. The practice of “cooking” appears to be limited to the ranks of aristocracy, with dedicated cooks only found within the court of a queen or in private households of other high-born individuals. It creates a sharp divide between commoners and social elites, between the wealthy and (as Sea Queen Coral once put it so succinctly) the “eel-eating masses”. All exemplified through the differing standards of food.

And yet somehow, standing in stark contrast to everywhere else on the continent, nearly every Mudwing-- from the most low-born runts of the Diamond Spray Delta to the most decorated head advisors in the Queen’s palace --knows how to cook, and will do so regularly.

Why is that, and how did it happen?

Historical Benefits of Cooking

Most things that form the backbone of a culture usually start with some ancient practice that was useful at some point in time and then, as people kept doing it, eventually got absorbed into public awareness and became “the way things are done”.

Mudwings face a unique challenge compared to anyone else, as they are the only tribe whose combat prowess is significantly affected by their environment, specifically climate, weather, and temperature. Sure, you can take any dragon, drop them into an unfavorable climate, and they will generally perform worse than under normal circumstances. But the unique weakness of Mudwings is that they lose their breath weapon when they get too cold. Place an Icewing into a burning room and they will still be able to use their frost breath. Pluck a Sandwing from their dry environment and drop them into the humid, sweltering hell of the jungle, their natural weapons will still function. But make a Mudwing cower between two piles of snow for a while, and their internal fire will go out quickly.

As you might imagine, this is a bit of a liability when you have to defend your territory from Skywings hiding and scheming among the frozen peaks bordering your country.

So the ancient Mudwings had to figure out a solution to their conundrum, and what they came up with was this: They got a large pot and filled it with water, threw in all manner of meats, plants, and herbs, whatever they could find where they were holed up, then boiled it until it was good and filling. The hot food in their bellies helped them stay warm even at high altitudes and allowed them to stand their ground against the northwestern invaders.

Soon it became tradition for troops to share a hotpot the night before battle, and a rich variety of hearty broths and stews developed from there, as these were simple to make from scraps and could be reheated easily. The practice became so popular, the Mudwings kept doing it even during peacetime. Soon, in addition to the hunting of prey animals that was commonplace, Mudwings began to cultivate vegetable gardens to have access to a more stable supply of ingredients. Eventually, their growing understanding of agriculture allowed them to grow rice, which was especially well-suited to the abundance of wetlands found in their territory. Everyone was cooking now.

The Role of Food in Mudwing Society

If you ask several Mudwings which core values represent their tribe best, many would likely put forward some variation of “camaraderie”, “family”, or “loyalty to your sibs”. They are a very social people who form deep bonds with those whom they grew up with, and one of the most direct ways to grow close to someone is to share your meals with them every day. As such, the preparation and consumption of food is a vital part in maintaining cohesion between members of a Mudwing sibling group.

Every one of these groups will have a “Bigwings”, which is understood to be a combination of a leader and caretaker role. The Bigwings is aware of all of their sibs’ culinary preferences and needs and has all of the troop’s recipes memorized. When mealtime approaches, he or she makes the call on what kind of dish will be prepared and delegates roles and tasks to the troop. This is a daily exercise that builds the Bigwings’ authority and communication skills, and reinforces trust and familiarity between all siblings.

Next to the Bigwings is the Gatherer, which historically was a role assigned to one or more troop members who foraged for wild vegetables or hunted more prey if the previous communal hunt did not yield enough. While this is still true today, many Gatherers also maintain a garden or wet patch to source fresh vegetables or grain for meals.

And lastly there is the Communicator, which is a role usually assigned to the most social and charismatic sibling. The Communicator is vital for coordinating battle strategies with other troops, which, while very important, is not really all that relevant for this deliberation. What is relevant however, is the role they fulfill during peacetime, which is to set up joint meals between two or more sibling groups. This practice is critical for maintaining morale, as doing this regularly helps expand the troop’s palette and keep their Bigwings inspired. That way the troop’s collection of recipes stays fresh and innovative instead of turning stale and rigid.

Of course how much each troop values culinary exploits varies between individuals. Some Mudwing groups are outspokenly passionate about cooking and advancing their craft. They might view their work as an expression of art and get very upset or offended if you indicate that thinking about food is unimportant or a waste of time. Some extreme cases may even get angry at you if you waste ingredients or refuse to elevate a dish to its fullest potential by not seasoning it well or doing something else to ruin it. Other groups may be more relaxed and casual about food preparation, and a few might even not think about it much at all.

If a Mudwing invites you to dinner, it is paramount to figure out which of these groups they belong to beforehand, so you may get an understanding of how much of a threat this outing may pose to your health, especially if you are an Icewing or Seawing with a limited palate.

Is there any evidence for this in the books?

To my knowledge, there isn't much. Mostly because there isn't much about Mudwings and their culture in general. Across all the books, only one of them has a Mudwing protagonist, and the vast majority of it is spent in the Sky Kingdom, so his roots don't get a lot of exposure. Then whenever another Mudwing comes into the story, they tend to exit it very quickly after, without being able to share more.

I made this theory for myself largely in response to Mudwing culture being such a big question mark. I initially came up with it when I saw a Mudwing gardener in Escaping Peril and thought "That could be a cool direction for the tribe." The guidebook that released recently gave me some additional pointers with regards to a few of the looser points of this theory.

I'm hoping it is interesting, or at the very least entertaining in some way.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi there, i have a character in my original story who is blind, specifically because he lost both eyes (one from injury, one from infection at birth). However, he doesn't have access to prosthetic/glass eyes as he lives in a secluded group of warriors. I've been drawing him with a blindfold to protect from infection, but upon reading your posts about eye coverings on blind characters, i'm unsure if this is offensive or not, but i also can't think of a good alternative other than going bare. He is a warrior, so i don't think glasses would stay on for very long, but i'm wondering if maybe goggles would work? Hes not the only blind character i have (one of the others is a born-blind cane user who does not wear glasses) but i still don't want to misrepresent or spread misinformation. Any help would be appreciated, thanks

Hello!

@blindbeta has an excellent post on the subject, which I'll link here [Link].

In your character's case, the cover would serve more for protecting their eyes and less for photophobia or other sensitivities. One of the points that's mentioned heavily in the post is to ask why your character is using a cover for their eyes.

In this case, you've already answered that question. Your character needs to protect their eyes from infection and further damage but doesn't have the option of prosthetics and glasses are inconvenient and could fall off or get in the way.

That being said... wouldn't a blindfold also get in the way?

A blindfold would be more of a problem in combat than a pair of glasses with a strap securing them. A blindfold gives his opponent another way to grab onto him (Think of ponytails) or something else to get caught on.

Also, if the goal is preventing infection, a blindfold would do the opposite here. Fabric is notorious for encouraging the growth of bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms. When it's pressed up against your character's eye sockets while they're fighting and sweating, it's also creating a very humid and moist environment.

Back when I was still rock-climbing and would go blindfolded, the blindfold would become gross and sweaty after just a few rounds. I don't even want to think about how it would have been after a day of fighting and adding in the blood and other fluids that would be on it. This can be especially problematic if your character is living in a secluded place where he may not be able to properly wash the blindfold as often as needed.

In general, the goggles (Or a pair of secured glasses) may be a better way to go. They'd be less of a liability in combat and be much more effective at preventing infection than a blindfold would be. There's also the fact that they would be much easier to clean if it ends up being necessary.

Now, you didn't specifically ask about this but I would just like to point out that prosthetic eyes aren't just used for preventing infection. Prosthetic eyes allow you to maintain the function of your eyelid and ensures that your eye socket keeps its shape. Depending on your character's circumstances, this may or may not be a concern for them.

Regardless, I'd definitely suggest looking into this and giving it some thought if you haven't.

Here's a few links to get you started:

A brief article discussing the benefits of prosthetic eyes.

An article that talks about prosthetic eyes in general. It also includes some brief information on prosthetic eyes in the past, which may be of interest to you.

Some FAQs about prosthetic eyes. Most of this is more specific to the current prosthetics offered but has some general info as well.

If you haven't done so already, I'd also advise checking out the linked post from @blindbeta since it has some excellent information about the specific trope.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icaus

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

An idea I've been turning over in my mind is our relationship, as humans, to the land.

This idea of owning land - it's kind of absurd, right? When you really think about it?

When we say we "own" land, what does that really mean? Do you own the dirt? The organisms in the dirt? What about the air? What about the rainfall, or any body of water situated on it? Do you start owning it when it flows onto your property and stop owning it when it flows off or evaporates from your property?

To be clear: I have studied property law. I know that there are legal answers to these questions. My point is that the answers are just as absurd as the original premise.

I am still working through the details of this, and my views are not fully formed. These are just musings, but to me, the concept of ownership (at least as it exists in the western culture I have lived my whole life in) is inherently destructive.

What does it mean, own something? It means to be able to possess and use something, however you like, whether for its intended purpose or not, whether it benefits the property or not, and to be able to destroy it without (usually) liability to another person who is not the owner. Sometimes possession and ultimate ownership are separated, such that you have a property interest in the possession or in the passive income the property generates, but not both. There are scores of different ways, actually, that you can have some limited ownership interest in some property.

But ultimately, no matter how the property interest is divided up, pretty much any legal liability one might ever have is to other owners or human stakeholders, rather than to the property itself. The best interests of the land are not really factored in anywhere.

And I think that, as a society, that's a huge problem. When we say we own land, we are conceptualizing it as "this is ours to do whatever we want with it and no one can stop us (within the boundaries of other laws)." But that doesn't reflect reality and is not sustainable in the long run.

To my mind, we should view it as, "this land you are living on? That's now your responsibility. You are now in relationship to this land and must act in the best interests of it as its steward." If anything we belong to it, not the other way around.

I don't have time to write it up now, but I think there's good support for this in the Torah, in the ways in which the covenant is described, so I may say more on that later.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Do you all have any proof that Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry or is it just a hunch based on narratives you’ve made up yourselves? Or maybe it is just wishful thinking on your part?

First off, reading and context is fundamental. No one has said Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry. We’re saying that it doesn’t make sense why Invictus keeps Harry around when he doesn’t appear to provide them any value. From a liability and risk management perspective, they have to be doing something to protect themselves from his lack of engagement.

And it is actually data-driven speculation. I don’t make stuff up here; I am always researching, I am always reading, I am always learning, and that is what informs my theories. There is very little I take at face-value.

But since your insult was polite, I’ll let you look at my homework instead of telling you to go figure it out yourself. Just this one time.

So this is the financial report from the UK charity registry:

Expenses (money going out) and income (money coming in, i.e. the donations) are virtually the same. In other words: as of 2022, Invictus is barely breaking even. This is not good; it means, more or less, they're one crisis away from some serious problems.

It also means that their actual Games - which, in 2022 would have been The Hague/Dutch IG - are expensed entirely by the host city. So basically, the charity itself is nothing more than a glorified events planner spending someone else's money. That's...not exactly the mission we're told that Invictus Games is.

Now, that orange line there on the bottom is what the UK calls "governance." (In the US, we call it "administrative.") This is what it means, from IG's 2022 financial report:

Note that this doesn't include salaries for the 12 (as of 12/31/2022) employees at IG. According to Giving is Great, a UK charity watchdog, senior staff costs (i.e. salaries and benefits) is 26%, or approximately £500,000. Add the governance/admin costs, and we're looking at £750,000 a year just to keep the charity's lights on. When your total budget is £2 million, that's a big chunk of change. 40%, in fact.

Second let's look at their income. The UK charity registry breaks the "gross income" down into several subcategories. For Invictus Games:

(The column headers were cut off but from left to right it's 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.)

Meaning that in 2022, their income came from donations, trading, and charitable activities.

(Remember that in 2020, the Royal Foundation made a £1 million donation to Invictus Games, which I believe makes up the majority of that £1.4m donation. If that assumption is correct, then that means in 2020, Harry was only able to fundraise an additional £400,000 in donations. Now, 2020 was a very difficult year for a lot of charities and nonprofits so that steep dropoff isn't unusual to see in the financial reports.)

Now from the 2022 financial report, here's what these categories mean:

So just really quick. Unrestricted means that the recipient chooses where/how to spend the money. Restricted means that the donor directs where/how the charity spends the money. So Invictus could spend £381K of the donations (Category #2) anywhere they wanted to, but for the remaining £700K of donations they received, they had to follow specific directions on how to use it.

What this is saying is that of the total income earned by Invictus Games in 2022, only £1.08 million came from donations.

Now, in my (volunteer) experience working in nonprofit fundraising most lay people (i.e. members of the general public who donate to charities) don't usually direct or designate their donation. So most of the regular donations are going into the unrestricted pot. Corporate donors, sponsors, or partners are more likely to give restricted gifts, where they direct how the money will be spent. So based on my experience, I feel comfortable assuming, or suggesting, that £231,447 received in unrestricted donations is people like, you, me, and Sussex Squad donating to Invictus out of pocket.

That's a pretty poor showing. And in my opinion, it's a direct reflection of Harry's leadership; he isn't inspiring people to donate to Invictus. Instead, the bulk of Invictus's income/donations is coming from corporate sponsorships.

Most charities cannot survive on corporate sponsorships and partnerships. It does not guarantee long-term survival. Long-term survival is predicated on investments, endowments, and contracts...which Invictus doesn't have, which means their patron isn't doing his share.

Third let's look at the actual Games themselves. The Hague/Dutch IG was given a budget of €15 million (~$16 million). According to this leaked letter from the Dusseldorf IG Committee, the Hague IG Games actually ended up costing €25 million (~$27 million). That's a 60% increase, and it's impossible for all of that to be due to COVID-related inflation.

Going backed to the leaked Dusseldorf IG letter, their budget was about €27 million (~$29 million). It's being reported that the Dusseldorf IG actually ended up costing closer to €37 million (~$40 million). This is a 37% increase; they were also very over budget.

And in March 2023, Invictus Games 2025 signed and published, to their website, a Contribution Agreement outlining that Canada's budget for the Vancouver IG is $30 million CAD (~$22 million USD); $15 million CAD (~$11 million USD) from the province of British Columbia and $15 million CAD from the government of Canada.

So if I split the baby for budget overrun [(60% + 37%)/2=48.5%], we're looking at Vancouver IG to probably end up costing around $44.5 million CAD.

In other words...they're in trouble. Meaning that Invictus and its board should be working together with the local corporation(s) to cut costs and increase savings/get new sponsors and partners. Meaning that the patron should be out there campaigning and fundraising for money or figuring out how and where to cut costs...but he isn't.

Or those efforts aren't visible. Not when the competing PR is about Harry's attacks on the BRF, Spare, Meghan's merching, and stories like this one of key leaders being abruptly fired and whistleblowers leaking to the press.

Now why would someone be abruptly fired without notice? It's not for shock and awe. It's either for incredible malfeasance (like fraud and embezzlement) or because someone much higher up wanted it. Since there's no paper trail or proof of wrongdoing - which Vancouver IG would have leaked in some way, shape or form - all the evidence strongly suggests the two men were fired because someone else demanded it. Maybe, say, someone who costs so much more than he's actually worth, who causes more problems than solves, who has alienated a lot of public goodwill. Of course, that's just pure speculation. But it is strange. One person getting fired without notice, sure, not really worth paying attention. But two people? And two people who purportedly know a whole lot about what's happening behind closed doors? That's hinky.

Have I forgotten anything?

Oh, right. This: growing criticism and dissatisfaction from local host-nation communities, Invictus's competitors and their families, and social media over the Sussexes' inability (and disinterest) to promote anyone but themselves whilst attending events.

The last thing any brand wants (or needs) is an ambassador that alienates their core customer base and prospective supporters and dominates the news with controversy. Brands, including nonprofit organizations, rely pretty heavily on:

The goodwill and positive attention their ambassadors generate

The users, fans, supporters, customers, and consumers that follow their ambassadors and

The networks their ambassadors move in.

Harry doesn't do any of that either:

He loses public goodwill every time he opens his mouth and invites only criticism.

The customers (the veterans and their families) aren't happy that their efforts are overshadowed. The consumers (people at home following along) are unhappy and dissatisfied that they can't find information about the competitors or the Games themselves because the only press coverage is about Harry and Meghan.

Harry is completely excluded from the royal, military, international, and aristo networks that propped him up 10 years ago to launch this thing. Invictus can't tap into that anymore, so why should they keep him around?

Let's review.

Invictus's expenses and income barely break even. Further, their reserves allow them to operate for less than one whole year. That's a really uncomfortable place to be in. Where is their patron to help seek out income streams that would build up their reserves?

Based on donation data, they're wheezing along on spit and prayer. They rely almost exclusively on corporate sponsors/partners. There's no investments, no endowments, no contracts. Actual "from the people" donations is just paltry. Where is their patron to lead fundraising campaigns, recruit new sponsors, develop investment opportunities?

The costs to host the Games keeps ballooning. Some cost overrun is normal, expected, and even budgeted for, but not the amounts that Invictus keeps turning out. Where is their patron to help look for new partners or charm everyone over with budget cuts?

There was a personnel shakeup in the Vancouver 2025 leadership that caused a lot of questions and concerns about their readiness to host their events and revealed a lot of morale issues. Where was their patron to calm the chaos?

There's growing criticism over the patron's behavior that is reflecting badly on Invictus Games and their brand. Where is the patron changing his behavior, changing his attitude, changing his priority?

I'll tell you where the patron is. He and his wife are flying around the world to party at Soho Houses, whine about being cut off from his family after he spent 3 years attacking them, spending other people's money in ridiculous ways, and getting wastedly high after his wife and kids go to bed.

The longer Invictus Games is associated with that, the more it reflects on them and their brand. They can't afford that. Not when they're promoting themselves as "family friendly" or "family supporting" (which is how they've justified Meghan's involvement).

It doesn't make any sense for them to keep Harry on. He's not fundraising for them. He's not schmoozing. He costs more money than he brings in. The people they serve don't like him. He isn't bringing big donors in. He isn't speaking to or supporting his family.

And allllllllll this together is why I say "I wouldn't be surprised if Invictus is trying to phase Harry out." It's why I say "depending on how well Germany Invictys 2024 goes, that may be the proof they can survive without him."

It's data-driven speculation. Not something I've made up. The only thing that's made up is the speculation about why two senior leaders were so abruptly fired. But that isn't even part of the analysis or the calculation.

Next time, anon, you're doing your own fucking research.

[femsolid]

"When younger women do not identify a common thread across the generations – because they have been told this is ‘essentialist’ – this naturally benefits the class of people who do not want sex inequality to be understood as a cumulative process. There is no shortage of men, many of whom call themselves feminists, who are more than eager to support younger women in their efforts to cut ties with the middle-aged hags. The enthusiasm such men show in decrying ‘biological essentialism’ (rather than, say, pensions inequality, the unequal distribution of domestic labour or the motherhood penalty) is a thing to behold. Simply for naming our bodies we can be accused of being cruel, exclusionary, colonialist, traditionalist, racist, misogynist, and of engaging in commentary akin to ‘discussions of women, gays and black people in the magazines of the fifties’.

It achieves several things at once: it alienates us from our bodies and from other women; it transfers blame for the exploitation of women from men onto women themselves; it recasts specifically female capacities as liabilities; it robs us of a coherent analysis of why female people are oppressed; it cuts the threads that connect generations of women; it prevents us from organising politically on the basis of sex; it tells us that our body stories – the narratives that connect individual experiences of femaleness, placing them in meaningful personal and political contexts across a lifetime – are irrelevant."

- Hags by Victoria Smith

[todaysdocument]

Letter from Arthur R. Boyden to the President Describing the Effect of Unemployment on Crime

Record Group 10: Records of the National Commission on Law Observance and EnforcementSeries: Letters from the PublicFile Unit: B 1929 [4/5]

[handwritten] ack 8/8/29

Sugg

Boyden

Nase Comm on Law

Observance & [illegible]

[stamp] RESPECTFULLY REFERRED

FOR CONSIDERATION,

Lawrence Richey

Secy, to the President. [stamp]

[stamp] THE WHITE HOUSE

AUG. 8 1929

RECEIVED [/stamp]

My Dear Mr.President.-

I have been particularly interested in press notices regarding your commission for the study of crime. As a newspaper man of about twenty-five years standing and through my experiences as a big brother etc.,I have come in contact with many criminals,especially among the younger generation and I have discovered that a majority of the boys who become criminals have been more or less forced into such a life through lack of employment,attempting to hold down jobs which they were unfitted for an disliked or because they were the product of broken homes.

Personally I believe if the unemployment situation was cleaned up crime would decrease very perceptibly. Of course it may be conceit or ego but I believe that I have a solution for the unemployment situation. That is the reason for this letter.

Idle men and women are like idle machines,a liability instead of an asset. Unlike machines,idle humans must eat and sleep and,if they can not secure employment, than many of them take other methods of procuring these things. Usually criminal methods.

Now supposing every merchant,every manufacturer and other employers of labor were to put on every man or woman they could what would happen? For a time they would be an expense but does it not stand to reason that when all of these additional persons were working and earning money that it would stimulate buying? And would not all of the companies xxx benefit through this employment? Think of the additional money that would be put into circulation. Idle men and women do not spend money but men and women who are employed do. It seems to me that if a movement such as I suggest was launched the unemployment situation would be materially helped and business would show a decided improvement.

I may be way off but at any rate xx I thought it would not do any harm to lay this idea before your commission. Some good might come of it and that is all I want.

Having been a Washington correspondent some years ago I realize full well that this letter stands no chance of falling into your hands but it might,by lunch,be submitted to the commission.

Very truly

[signed]

Arthur R.Boyden

R.K.O. Studios

Hollywood, Calif.

[turbulentscrawl]

Ganji Gupta General HCs

I'm unable to make a header for Ganji at the moment, but I'll add one to the post later when I can get on my good desktop.

Edit: Added!

-First of all, in case it isn’t clear, Ganji started the fire. However, it’s important to note that Ganji chose arson for a few specific reasons. Plausible deniability was one. The second was that a fire gave people a chance to escape. Ganji believes in something along the lines of karma (I’m not especially religious or philosophical myself so I don’t feel inclined to pick one in particular for him), and a fire better allowed that to step in and save his targets. If the universe or whatever higher power, decided they deserved to live then they would, and Ganji could rest assured that they weren’t a wholly bad person. All but that child perished in the smoke and flames, though, so that settles that doesn’t it?

-Ganji is a man suffering from disillusionment. This is the result of him being taken advantage of. He left everything behind, came to another county just for the sport he loved, for his passion, only to find out that he was seen as nothing more than a novelty item. Something—not even a someone—kept around because his very existence was “amusing.” Disgusting.

-And it all happened because he’s naïve. He knows this, and just about everyone that’s around him for more than a day knows it, so now he’s incredibly protective of that aspect of himself. He’s not self-conscious of it or anything, he knows that naivety is just as aspect of someone being kind and trusting, but he’ll be damned if he lets someone else use him to their benefit again.

-Like Andrew, he’s developed a tendency to be sharp and reclusive as a defense mechanism. However, his emotional walls aren’t as thick, as dense. In a way, his hurt runs less deep because he doesn’t have self-hatred to factor into the cocktail of his pain. He warms to people faster and has a sweeter disposition under his cover…but you’ll have to be persistent if you want to get to that point. Ganji will shrug off offerings of kindness several times before giving someone a chance.

-In-line with his kindheartedness, but counter to the façade he puts up, Ganji can’t ignore someone else in real need. His mask falls as soon as someone’s peace or safety are threatened. He’s either the greatest hero or the biggest liability to have in a match because he can and will charge head-long into a hunter if it means saving another survivor. Even the ones he doesn’t like all that much. Additionally, he’s generally willing to argue on behalf of someone not willing to speak up for themselves.

-This boy is hard-headed. Stubborn! There are so many stupid hills he’s willing to die on. But he’s also not very good at arguments (which is unfortunate, considering the above hc), he stumbles over his words a lot, jumbles his points up. He sounds a lot more put-together in writing than in person, but his handwriting is atrocious so honestly good luck reading it. Poor guy is at a communication crossroads and both roads lead to embarrassment.

-As one might guess, this all makes Ganji very one-track minded in matches…and with most of his problems in life. Something wrong, anything? Swing the bat. At a ball, at a head. You know, whatever the situation calls for.

-His nativity also means that he doesn’t pick up on flirtation well. Someone either has to be very direct or very patient for Ganji to pick up on their interest. When he does catch on, he’s hesitant to reciprocate. He can’t deny the appeal of relationships, but he hasn’t had one since before he left home. Things are different. Really different, considering the manor…but it’s not hard to convince the guy to give love a chance as long as you’re not overly pushy.

-He spends a lot of free time at the manor trying to get people to play cricket with him. It doesn’t matter that no one else is really good at it, he just misses playing. William and Mike are the only ones who agree regularly, and that’s certainly not enough people. Most others only play along for Ganji’s birthday.

[therealjoeywalker]

hello my dear gooners! (this is what i call my followers lol). who is up for an ohio gyatt vinyl giveaway!!? it will be signed by the rizzler ( @realstumackenzie ) himself. comment your most sigma munting streak for a chance to win mewerr of the universe on 2lp holographic embossed & jizzed vinyl!

anyway

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[justinspoliticalcorner]

Eric Levitz at Vox:

When Vice President Kamala Harris chose Tim Walz as her running mate, many pundits lamented her decision. In their view, the Democratic nominee should have chosen a vice presidential candidate who could mitigate her liabilities, and balance out her party’s ticket — such as Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro.

After all, Harris had been a liberal senator from one of America’s most left-wing states and then had run an exceedingly progressive primary campaign in 2020. To win over swing-state undecideds, she needed to demonstrate her independence from her party’s most radical elements. And selecting the popular governor of a purple state — who had defied the Democratic activist base on education policy and Israel’s war in Gaza— would do just that. Walz, in this account, was just another liberal darling: As Minnesota governor, he had enacted a litany of progressive policies, including restoring the voting rights of ex-felons and creating a refuge program for trans people denied gender-affirming care in other states. Picking Walz might thrill the subset of Americans who would vote for Harris even if she burned an American flag on live TV and lit a blunt with its flames. But it would do nothing to reassure those who heard two words they did not like in the phrase, “California liberal.”

But there is more than one way to balance a ticket. Or so Harris’s team believes, if the third night of the Democratic National Convention is any guide. On Wednesday night, Democrats used Walz’s nomination to associate their party with rural American culture and small-c conservative moral sentiments, while remaining true to a broadly progressive agenda. Walz may not be especially distinct from Harris ideologically. But he is quite different demographically and symbolically. Harris is the half-Jamaican, half-Indian daughter of immigrant college professors who grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Walz was born into a family whose roots in the United States went back to the 1800s, and raised in a Nebraska town of 400, where ethnic diversity largely consisted of several different flavors of Midwestern white (Walz himself is of German, Irish, Swedish, and Luxembourgish descent). Harris is an effortlessly cool veteran of red carpets. Walz is a dad joke that has attained corporal form.

In her person and biography, Harris represents the America that has benefited unequivocally from the transformations of the past half-century — the cosmopolitan, multicultural nation that has greeted the advance of racial and gender equality with relief, and the knowledge economy that’s taken to globalization with relish. Walz, by contrast, was shaped by the America that feels more at home in the world of yesterday, at least as it is nostalgically misremembered — a world where moral intuitions felt more stable, rural economies seemed more healthy, and the American elite looked more familiar; the America that put Donald Trump in the Oval Office, in other words. Or at least, the Harris campaign has chosen to associate Walz with all of that America’s iconography, attempting to make it feel as included in the Democratic coalition as possible — without actually ceding much ground to conservative policy preferences. The introduction to Walz’s speech Wednesday night looked like it could have been scripted by a chatbot asked to generate the antithesis of a “San Francisco liberal.” A video montage celebrated Walz’s diligent work on his family farm growing up, his service in the US military, skills as a marksman, and — above all — success as a football coach. Democrats leaned especially hard on that last, most American item on Walz’s resume. Just before the party’s vice presidential nominee took the mic, a group of his former players decked out in their gridiron garments marched on stage to a fight song (not to be confused with “Fight Song”).

[...] There is some basis for believing that Democrats might be able to win over a small but significant fraction of Republican-leaning independents by wrapping center-left policies in conservative packaging. Some political scientists have found that when moderate and conservative voters are presented with a progressive, Democratic economic policy idea — that is justified on the grounds that it will help uphold “the values and traditions that were handed down to us: hard work, loyalty to our country and the freedom to forge your own path” — some do respond favorably (as do liberal voters, who take no offense at such abstract, traditionalist pieties). Whether Walz tying himself to rural American symbology — or Harris tying herself to “Coach Walz” — will be enough to blunt Trump’s attacks on the Democratic nominee’s supposed “communism” remains to be seen. But the Democratic ticket is at least trying to make right-leaning Midwesterners feel like they belong (even if they do not think like Democrats do).

Tim Walz’s DNC speech last night reflects a broader trend of Democrats reclaiming freedom and patriotism while also selling its liberal agenda. #DNC2024 #HarrisWalz2024

See Also:

HuffPost: With Kamala Harris, It’s Cool For Liberals To Be Patriotic Again

[askagamedev]

Especially with so many projects that were never announced probably getting canceled right now due to layoffs and studios dissolving, how risky would it be for devs to keep personal copies of their work/builds?

I always thought NDAs were generally time limited, and at least that way the work wouldn't be entirely lost for ever. Is that even something devs generally want?

There are certain things that studios and companies can ask us not to do but have a real hard time preventing, especially if the company is going through a death spiral process. Keeping a personal copy of stuff I worked on, especially in an age of remote work, is one of those really hard-to-prevent things. If the company or studio is going under, almost everyone is losing their jobs and the motivation to maintain operational security is very low. Nobody in security cares when their main priority suddenly shifts to finding a new job. In these situations, leaked stuff happens a lot more often since there's little motivation for enforcement.

It's much harder for workers who are let go from a company that remains alive, since breaking NDA would result in being liable for a bunch of damages. However, if I don't disclose anything and just keep stuff private, the studio cares a lot less about whether I have those files. They don't really do much forensic analysis of the workstations of former employees, they mostly just wipe them clean in order to protect the company from potential liabilities from accidentally finding left-behind personal files of the former workers.

The thing about old game projects (especially for cancelled games) is that there's really only so long that the old stuff is even viable. The inevitable passing of time will decay any knowledge of the project and its workflow. If we release information and development stuff about games that were cancelled, say, two console generations ago, it is unlikely that the current IP holders and leadership would be super angry about it because so much time has passed. This is considerably different from releasing information about a game that was cancelled this year, where things are still raw and legal action is still a very legitimate threat.

The main benefit to holding on to old projects is primarily for personal education. There's a lot to be learned if one can go back and study the way things worked on an old project. How did they set things up and why? How can I learn what decisions my seniors and leads made, and why did they make those decisions? How did they solve these problems? Can I use those same techniques? There might be some element of internet influencer points if old stuff gets released to the public, but that typically gets glossed over the way trivia is treated. In my opinion, the real value in old project assets is in the educational content it can provide.

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[mariacallous]

Researchers have shown how the tax system can reinforce disparities between households of different races or ethnicities, even though the Internal Revenue Code does not explicitly favor any racial group. These disparities arise because the tax code favors certain types of income, expenses, and family characteristics—factors that often vary by race and ethnicity.

Despite being the fastest-growing racial group in the country, Asian American households remain an understudied population in tax policy research. Around 24 million Americans, or 7% of the U.S. population, identify either as Asian or Asian in combination with another race. Using newly available data, we find that among American households in the top 20% of the income distribution, Asian American households pay a higher average individual tax rate than white households, in large part because they earn more of their income from labor earnings, while white households are more likely to own tax-favored assets.

How do we know? Previously, the triennial Survey of Consumer Finance (SCF) had assigned information on all Asian American households to the “Other” racial category. The 2022 SCF oversamples minorities and is the first wave to present specific data for households in three separate categories: Asian American, American Indian or Alaska Native, or Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander.

Researchers can now explore the impact of the tax code on Asian American taxpayers relative to white taxpayers. Our analysis uses the 2022 SCF data, an established methodology to convert households into tax filing units, and the NBER’s TAXSIM microsimulation model. Still, the small number of Asian Americans in the 2022 SCF sample, limit the level of detail in our statistical analysis. But that limit highlights the need for more specific data and research.

Differences in income distribution

Figure 1 compares the expanded income (EI) distribution of Asian American and white households. EI includes adjusted gross income, cash and near-cash benefits, and untaxed sources of capital income such as unrealized capital gains and imputed rent from owning a home.

Asian American taxpayers have a bimodal distribution; that is, they largely fall into two main areas of this distribution, and their incomes vary more widely compared to white taxpayers. While a large proportion of Asian Americans are in the top 20% of the distribution, a sizable share is in the lowest 20 to 40% of the distribution, revealing diversity within the Asian American community. This finding challenges the “model minority” stereotype that all Asian American families are financially well-off.

Differences in average tax rate

Figure 2 shows the average tax rate (ATR, or the ratio of income tax liability to EI) for Asian American and white households.

The ATR generally rises with income for both groups, reflecting the progressive nature of the federal income tax. Among those in the top 60% of the income distribution, Asian American households pay higher ATRs than white households. Subsequent regression analysis (not shown), however, indicates this difference is statistically significant only for the top quintile (at the 10% level, a criterion we chose based on the limited sample size). The higher ATR arises because, relative to white households, Asian American households earn a greater share of their income from fully-taxed labor income (earned from working) rather than tax-favored capital income (earned from sources including realized or unrealized capital gains, unreported business income, or imputed rent on owner-occupied housing).

Contributing factors to tax disparities

While differences in the composition and level of income matter when assessing the tax treatment of Asian American households, other factors may also contribute these differences.

For example, the tax code generally favors single-earner married couples, but the labor force participation of Asian American women is higher than that of white women. That raises the possibility of a higher occurrence of marriage penalties among Asian households. The younger age distribution of Asian Americans compared to white Americans may drive other differences. Asian American households are less likely to own homes but owe more when they do, possibly because a large share of Asian American people live in high-cost areas like San Francisco. This suggests potential differences in the use of the mortgage interest deduction.

Asian American households are also less likely to hold tax-preferred retirement accounts, and their households are more likely to be multigenerational, which may cause confusion about which adults are eligible for benefits. In fact, a recent Treasury study found that low-income Asian Americans are less likely to receive the Earned Income Tax Credit and Child Tax Credit than any other low-income racial group.

There’s much more to learn

While these preliminary findings show how the tax code affects Asian American and white households differently, researchers need more data to conduct deeper analyses. There may be disparities in income tax liabilities within the broadly diverse Asian American population. Cultural norms, socioeconomic statuses, and lived experiences vary widely among Asian American families from different countries and regions.  

In March 2024, the Biden administration updated Statistical Policy Directive No. 15 to require federal data to subdivide the “Asian American” category into subgroups, including Chinese, Asian Indian, Filipino, Vietnamese, Korean, and Japanese. With these detailed data, researchers can perform more nuanced analyses that further debunk the “model minority” myth.

Policymakers should use this research to better understand the economic needs of low-income Asian American families, particularly the most vulnerable among them. That includes the uncertainty faced by undocumented immigrants and the high poverty rates among Burmese (19%) and Hmong (17%) Americans.

Examining differences in tax treatments between Asian American subgroups will allow researchers to capture the diverse experiences and needs of these communities, enabling the development of responsive policies.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Shuri x Reader Fatal Touch Part 2

Summary: When your secret is brought to light and threatens to unravel the life you've built. You decide its time to move on and never look back, or at least you try to. Shuri isn't letting you go without a fight

Queen Ramonda was notified of an unknown breach in security at one of the outreach centers located in Nigeria. This came as a surprise considering how close to home the neighboring country was. In the past whenever France, the U.S., or any other country made a play to steal vibranium. It was always on the outside the continent of Africa, sense it was believed every country there was under the same protection as Wakanda itself. But then again maybe that's why whoever was responsible for this attack chose Nigeria. It was an unexpected and bold move, not to mention it could be the very nation itself responsible.

Either way the mission was the same as all the others. Eliminate all threats, recover any stolen vibranium, and capture all assailants so they could identified. It was a dance the Dora Milaje had been through a number of times, but this was your time partaking in this kind of mission. Your position in the royal guard had always been special. After you revealed your secret to T'Challa not only did he agree to keep it from everyone else including his parents, Nakia, and most trusted guards like Okoye. But he went out of his way to make sure you could serve in the army, while not compromising yourself. He presented the idea to his Queen Ramonda, and King T'Chaka of giving Shuri her own personal bodyguard who would train with only the best warriors.

He made you out to be the perfect candidate voicing how you being the same age as the Princess, and being able to grow up with her. Was more of a benefit rather than a liability Shuri would see you as a friend making it easier for you and to bond and trust each other. The connection between you two would be genuine and unbreakable. It took some conniving, but eventually both of them caved. But with you being such a formidable warrior there were still moments you would go on missions. Most of them were high-level with T'Challa, Okoye, and a few guards. It was important for you to have field experience just in case.

"Is there a specific reason you required my assistance on this mission?" You asked Ayo while switching out your everyday gloves, for the more sturdy ones made out stronger material. Unlike the Doras you didn't have armor. Your mission attire was a simple black vibranium suit that took shape on your body. The same way the Black Panther suit did, but you still put on a extra layer of gloves.

"It was a suggestion I bring you along, and we could use your skillset" she told you.

You snorted "Gee I wonder who made the suggestion."

Your snippy tone had her eyes snapping in your direction narrowing at the comment. You held your hands in surrender and walked around her to join the other Doras on the bench. Ayo let you off the hook shaking her head.

She didn't have to tell you who it was, because the only person the woman took orders from was The General. Who was seemingly absent from such a big mission. Deep down while you wanted nothing more than be angry with Okoye, for once again interfering in your relationship with Shuri. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours you found yourself feeling grateful for her actions. The hurt on Shuri's face when your heartbreaking words reached her ears was still fresh on your mind.

There was no doubt in your heart if you had stuck around a second longer. You would've caved in and took everything you said back. Even it took dropping down on your knees and begging for her forgiveness. You cherished her love more than your own dignity, but Okoye had been right. The Princess deserved to be someone who could love her all the way, and not just halfway. She deserved more than your empty promises, and distance love.

It would be a hard adjustment for both of you, and maybe you would have to stay gone a bit longer. This time for the message to really sink in, but once it did Shuri would finally move on. Seeing her happy and falling in love with someone else was going to tear a hole in your heart. A hole that could never be filled without her, but its what's best for Shuri.

"Are you sure we need her for this particular mission?" Aneka questioned her love. Her eyes were trained on your relaxed form. You were sitting between two other Doras with your head thrown back against the wall of the Talon fighter. Eyes were closed with your breathing steady. You didn't look to be in distress anymore, but all she could think about was all the inner turmoil. You had been going through just an hour ago, and your refusal to share any info on what was causing it.

"Okoye wanted me to bring her" Ayo replied making it clear. Your presence here was never up for discussion. "Is there something going on I should know about?"

"Just keep an eye on her during the fight alright don't let her out of your sight if you can. The Queen doesn't want any casualties on this mission, and that's kind of ironic with her here."

"Are you saying y/n can't show restraint?

Aneka raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "She is an urban legend outside of Wakanda. They call her the Girl with The Touch of Death. I'm not completely sure of how she got that name, but everyone here has heard stories."

"Nevertheless y/n knows her place and will follow orders the same as everyone else here" Ayo said with certainty in her voice, but it wavered a little bit. The second in command wouldn't admit to her lover, or anyone else, but she felt something was off with your aura. She just prayed to Bast it didn't jeopardize the mission.

One Hour Later

The Talon Fighters landed in a discreet location in a wooded area covered by the trees and bush. It would be a ten minute hike to the Outreach center, but it allowed you guys to keep the element of surprise. It was believed the strike team had already managed to get their hands on some vibranium samples, and were in the process of dealing with the scientists and volunteers. It was important that no one died considering some of the volunteers belonged to different countries who wouldn't be too happy with losing an asset.

It was the last Queen Ramonda needed right now.

"Alright is everyone clear on the objective. We move in quietly, spilt up accordingly to locate our targets, and neutralize with minimal force." Ayo shouted to all of the Doras her eyes scanning the small army to make sure everyone was paying attention.

When her eyes landed on yours her face took the form of a frown. Your hood was pulled up along with your mask covering all of your face expect your eyes. They were dark and clouded with despair, still you nodded your head along with the other Doras.

Ayo gave you the west wing of the building to clear out partnering you up with three other Doras. She could feel the waves of dread coming off you, and knew whatever storm had brewing inside of you had only gotten worse. And nothing was going to subside it you were a walking natural disaster at this point. She wished that herself or Aneka could've been in your group, but they had a lot of ground to cover. Makena was the next in line in seniority. She was only a few years behind Ayo in terms of service, and was a excellent order. She was put in charge, and warned to do her best to keep you from getting carried away.

The four of you moved through the halls at a slow, but methodical pace. None of you made any noise with your movements you could hear raindrop hit the floor, or better yet the muffled pleadings of the workers through steel walls. Once Makena was able to pinpoint the exact location of where they were being kept. She rounded all three of you up to come up with a plan of attack. But you had only one plan on your mind, and it was attack. The adrenaline pumping through your veins coupled with your bad nerves. It wouldn't take much to set you off. So when the sound of a gun clicking reached all of your ears, you broke off from the group. Drowning out Makena's panic whispers ordering you to stop.

Your foot slammed into the door kicking it in, and knocking the mercenary behind it to the ground. You counted a total of six armed mercenaries in all, and eight hostages. All of them were huddled in one corner of the lab on their knees, and hands behind their back. The mercenary on the top of the stairs would be a problem having the advantage of high ground. You rolled out of the way as a string of bullets came flying at the entrance. You came up behind a workstation, and grabbed a ball of vibranium a display. You whirled around throwing it with all your strength.

It went sailing through the air striking the mercenary on the stairs right in the face with such force. He flew off his feet and to the metal platform.

Two down. Four more to go.

By now the Makena and the other three Doras had joined the fight. Spinning the spears in unison creating an impenetrable shield that sent the bullets to the ground.

You threw your body forward crashing into another guy, and he tumbled back into the wall. Your hands wrapped around his machine gun that was strapped to his body. You pulled hard on it, twisting your body around using the momentum to bring him with you. He was slammed back first to the floor. The man struggled as your knee dropped down to his stomach causing him to groan in pain. Then your fist struck him in the face once, twice, three times.

A sickening crunch sounded off as you wailed on the mercenary alerting you to. The fact you probably broke his nose, but you didn't care the image of tears falling from Shuri's eyes clouded your mind. So you landed a punch for every single tear she shedded because of you. The man was paying for her pain in the worst way possible. A strong arm wrapped around your neck from behind and yanked you away from the bloody and unconscious man.

Your assailant tightened his grip to the point where your airways were nearly cut off. But the rage coursing through your body made you oblivious to it. You simply snapped your head back hitting the attacker in the face. With a cry of pain his hold loosened enough for you to slip out of it, and turn around.

You followed up with a hard kick to the stomach. He stumbled back right into one of the Dora's spear, and his body lit up with electricity. You still delivered a hard right hook to his jawline dropping him as well.

"Was that really necessary y/n" Makena scolded you disapprovingly.

"He's still breathing ain't he" You shot back with venom in your voice.

"You're doing too much damage. What do you not understand about minimal force?" She jabbed a finger over her shoulder pointing at the mercenary you brutally beat just a few seconds ago.

"I didn't kill anyone so back off" You seethed.

Makena opened her mouth to continue the argument, but one of the other Dora's yelled before she could.

"We got a runner."

Both of your heads whipped towards the door to just in time to see a tall, and lean white man bolt down the hallway. "We were able get a read on him. Makena he's wanted in Wakanda for theft and murder."

Your eyes darkened as you cracked your fingers. "He's mine" You whispered in a low tone.

"Y/N no he's headed towards Ayo I'll let her know" Makena ordered.

"I'll intercept him" You disobeyed orders once again to go into pursuit of the fleeing enemy. The distant words "stand down" barely registering in your mind.

The mercenary had a bit of a head start, and from the route he was taking. You knew he was heading for a back exit leading to the forest. Even though it was still daytime, and there was blue sky was shinning light down. The forest itself was shrouded in darkness from all the surrounding trees. He would have no problem losing you in the twisting paths, and disappearing forever.

You pushed your legs to move faster ignoring the burning sensation in your legs, and right as he reached the door you tackled him from behind. Both of you went flying through the door out into the wet grassy field. He rolled around so he was on top of you, but you brought a foot up kicking him away. He flew back to the ground.

Both of y'all jumped back to your feet to square off with each other. Your mask had been pulled down revealing your face to him. He had to be no older than thirty with dark brown hair, and a chiseled face with brown scruff.

"Aren't I a lucky guy I'm getting to face off with the Touch of Death" He said with arrogance in his voice. It was obvious that he believed this fight was already won for him.

You grimaced at the title never being a fan of it, and wishing that it didn't exist. Your only saving grace was that it never got back to Shuri that you had such a deadly reputation outside of the palace. In the past there had a been a few missions where your grim ability came into play. Eventually you used it enough times, and word carried throughout multiple regions. Until finally people decided that you had to be called something other than your name.

The Girl with The Touch of Death was born and you loathed it.

"Surrender now and maybe I'll go easy on you" You offered him.

"Technically if I surrender you're not supposed to touch me at all" He corrected you.

"Nahhh buddy you ran and I don't got no cuffs on me." You replied shaking your head. "You catching this beat down either way. Its up to you how bad it is."

For a second his confidence wavered as he paused circling you for a quick second. He was contemplated his chances of actually winning this fight, and in the end he must have decided. The odds were in his favor because with a cry of rage. The mercenary ran towards you with outstretched arms.

You moved to the side dodging his wild attack, and brought your leg to kick him in the abdomen. He doubled over with his head snapping to the side from a fist to the face. You danced around him slamming a elbow to the back of his head.

His foot slipped in the wet grass making him fall to the ground. Before he could attempt to get back up you brought your foot down onto his back pushing his body back down. "Its over."

"Is it really?" He asked with a underlying hopeful tone. In your peripheral line of vision you caught his hand grasping at something, and too late did you realize what it was. By the time you brought your arms up to defend your face. The dirt had reached your eyes bringing a painful sting to them. Out of reflex you tried to rub the pain away, and in that split second the tables were turned.

He swept your feet out from under you as your foot left his back, and you went down in the grass with a loud thud. He scrambled on top of your locking his legs around your waist to pin your body beneath his. His evil smile with gleaming white teeth filled your vision, once you were able to open them again. Before you knew what was happening your mouth flew open to gasp for air.

His hands were around your throat squeezing, and choking the life out of you. Eyes widening in anger with a tiny hint of fear you brought your hands up to tug on his wrists. But he was stronger, and your body was weakened. The adrenaline was starting to wear off in an last act of desperation. You brought your knees up to hit him in the back.

"Not going to work Grim Reaper" He laughed leaning down so his face were only inches from yours. His cold eyes filled with victory bored into your panicking ones.

"I heard stories about you all the time" He whispered. "People said death followed you wherever you went. People said you was Wakanda's secret weapon I never believed them.

Your vision was in and out as consciousness started to slip away from you. Somehow his words reached your brain and it sparked one last move from you. The only one you had left with your last bit of strength. You grasped the sleeve of the right glove, and tugged on it till your hand was free. The suit retracted revealing your bare right hand, and you grabbed his wrist again. This time letting your power flow freely no longer keeping it at bay. It answered your call with glee after laying dormant inside of you for so long.

The man didn't feel right away. He just kept cackling away shaking you by the neck every now and then. But then his hand started turning a light gray as his veins popped out. Once the effects traveled up his arm, his hold on your neck loosened a bit. The mercenary frowned peering down to see what was causing his body to shutdown.

A grin crept up on your face as he grew weaker your body was coming back to life. You were getting stronger as you drained the life force from him. Finally the man pulled his hands away from you with a cry of alarm. His skin had wrinkled up by now, and were completely blue and frail. "What did you do?" He cried out in fear.

You sat up taking in as much air as you could refilling your crying lungs. You spun your body around hitting him with a double kick to the face. He landed in the grass on his stomach, and blinded by rage of the near-death experience.

You leapt on his back placing your bare hand back on his face pressing his face to the grass. Your power flared up again, and he let out a wail as his body started to wither away.

"Stop pl-please staaa" his voice trailed off as the life was sucked right out of him. His body went still as his cries were silenced. You rolled off of the deceased man to lay in the grass breathing hard. "Fuck no casualties" you murmured.

"Y/N" a familiar voice called out to you with caution.

In a flash you were on your feet eyes locking onto the intruder. It was Ayo with wide eyes flickering back and forth between the dead body, and you. It didn't take long to realize her eyes were zeroing in on a specific part of your body. Your bare right hand.

"How much did you see?" You asked her nervously. It was a stupid question the way her hand gripped her spear so tight. Her knuckles were straining. The disbelief mixed with utter terror on her face told just exactly what she saw.

But you wanted to hear her say it.

"How much did you see?" You repeated a bit more fierce this time.

Ayo took a step back at the tone in your voice, and gripped her spear in both hands angling it towards you. "You killed him."

"He tried to kill me first" You argued.

"Y/N what was that? What did you do to him?" she hissed

"Ayo drop the spear it's me for crying out loud. I'm not going to hurt you." You insisted partially out of annoyance, but also with hurt. Did she fear you now that she knew the truth?

"How long have you been able to do that?" Ayo continued to question you instead. Her spear twitching in her hand.

In your eyes it didn't matter what you said her mind was already made up. "Oh screw this" You exclaimed and turned around to begin walking deeper into the forest.

Ayo didn't chase after you right away, her mind still reeling from what she just witnessed, and trying to process it. You got maybe twenty to thirty yards away from her, before she started after you calling your name with a sense of urgency.

"Y/N stop that is an order" she demanded just a few feet away from you.

You turned on her with tears in your eyes threatening to spill over. "What for? So you can keep looking at me like I'm some monster. I didn't ask for this Ayo I was born with it, and not a day goes by where I don't wish I wasn't."

"I don't thin-" Ayo began

"lixoki uyafana nje nabazali bam" You snapped cutting her off.

"Your parents" she said in confusion. Like everyone else she was under the impression you had a healthy and loving relationship with your family. So your accusation threw her for a loop.

"They hate Ayo ever since they discovered what I could do. They treated like I was devil in disguise. They dropped me off the trail leading to the palace in the middle of night. Not at the doorstep but at the trail I had to make the hike alone and cold during. The middle of the night at the age of fourteen. What loving parents treat their child like that?

"But you write to them" Ayo argued.

You scoffed "none of those letters belonged to them. I wouldn't be surprised if they packed up and moved after getting rid of me. My parents biggest fear was that the royal family wouldn't want me, and I would be linked back to them. My return was their biggest nightmare" You continued to explain wiping your eyes with your sleeve

"But why lie?"

To keep up with the facade that I came from a happy and healthy home. I had to just like I had to lie in order to make it in my new life. I knew if any of you have found out the truth you would look at me the way you are right now."

Ayo shook her head taking tentative steps forward. "Y/N I'm just a little shocked that’s all I promise."

"I only wanted a family. I wanted to be loved you know, but it was all just a fairytale huh." You said with a humorless chuckle letting the tears fall.

"Is this why you refuse to be with Princess Shuri?" She asked

"How can I be with her when my touch can kill her?"

Her gaze moved to your hands again studying them with fascination. "Is your power always active?"

You shook your head. "No I've gained control over it for most of the part it. But sometimes control slips my mind when I'm emotional or lose focus. My power doesn't kill instantly but I don't how much time I'm taking off someone’s life span. If I use my power on them for even a mere second. I won't risk it with Shuri."

Ayo regarded you with sadness and pity, but you were so beyond that now. "I'll just go alright you can tell them I went missing in action, or died whatever lie you can conjure up. I'm fine with it." You made it all of three steps before Ayo was on you gripping your forearm with a serious expression.

"I am not your parents and you are Wakandan no matter what y/n. You are one of us and I brought you on this mission, so I will be bringing you back home" she declared. "Now if you wish to run away and leave the Princess with questions rather than answers. Once we return then I won't stop you, but for now you're coming home with us."

You let out a sigh "fine but on one condition."

She tilted her head to the side in curiosity, and motioned for you to continue. Her grip tightening on your arm in warning though.

"You don't speak a word of my power to anyone" You told her with pleading eyes.

Ayo didn't give you a dignified answer because saying no would have you trying to run, and saying yes would be a blatant lie. She cared for you and understood why you wanted your ability to stay a secret. But was bind by her duty to report something this big back to her General at least.

"I won't tell the Princess" she finally said after a moment while leading you back to the building.

It wasn't the answer you wanted but it would suffice for now.

Wakanda

"Yo what's up with the Princess today?

Aamina looked up from the chemical sample she was examining to give her attention to. Her friends who were gathered around the edge of the ramp. They were located on the right side of the lab working three levels up. Princess Shuri worked in her usual spot on the first floor in the center of the lab.

She walked over to join them glancing down at her beautiful boss. "She does seem to be on edge today doesn't she."

"She is and take a look around" Kayin said making a sweeping motion with his arm. "Someone is missing from her side today."

A light bulb lit up Aamina's mind as she scanned the entire lab looking for your hidden figure. You were nowhere near Shuri and she didn't see you anywhere else. Joy filled her eyes once she realized you truly weren't here.

"So Shuri is upset and y/n is missing. Do you guys know what this means?" she cheered with giddiness.

Both guys turned to their friend with raised eyebrows, and disapproving stares. "Not cool Aamina it feels different this time" Kayin told her.

"Yeah she isn't just upset she's....." Mosi's voice trailed off as he tried to find the right word to describe Shuri's demeanor. "Devastated" he finished a minute later.

"Which means its final y/n finally came to her senses." Aamina replied disregarding their concern altogether. She could finally make her move without being disturbed.

The sound of approaching footsteps ascending the ramp made all of them swiveled their heads in that direction. Amira entered the workspace dressed in a white lab coat, a dark-blue button-up shirt, black jeans, and black sneakers. Her long black hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. "Don't you guys have something better to do than gossip. Like I don't know your job we need those samples fully examined by the end of today."

Mosi and Kayin wasted no time in getting up to head back to their desks. But Aamina's attention went back to the sulking Princess as she tried to think of what to say.

"Aamina get back to work or go home. You can dream about Princess Shuri there" Amira ordered.

"Would you chill out" Aamina whined with a hint of anger. She glanced back at her fellow scientist, and the hardened glare that met her had the girl stumbling back.

"Don't forget your place Aamina I'm your superior. I have no problem suspending you for the rest of the week, and restricting your access to the lab for the duration of your suspension."

The threat did the job as Aamina rushed back to telescope to continue her lab work.

After making sure all of them were focused back on the tasks at hand. Amira made her way back down the ramp to head over to the main center of the lab. She paused a few feet from Shuri who was scribbling something in her tablet. Her grip on the stylus was tight and her movements seemed a bit rushed. The emotional turmoil filled the air around her, and it made the girl want to turn around.

Amira took a deep breath, and exhaled for a confident boost. Then she walked over coming to a stop a few feet to leave a comfortable distant between them. "Hey I was going to grab lunch real quick do you want to come?"

Shuri barely looked at her before giving a sharp reply. "No."

"I'm not trying to come onto Princess I'm asking as a friend. A concerned one" Amira insisted.

"My answer is still no Amira go enjoy your break." Shuri told her turning to put her back to her scientist. As she went to walk away a hand took a hold of the back of her lab coat. She whipped her head to see Amira's arm reached out.

Amira knew she was crossing a line and was at risk to loss her job. Especially with the mood Shuri was in right now, but someone had to do something. "I'm sorry Princess its just you could really use the break" Amira started.

Under her sharp gaze she pulled her hand back from the lab coat. "You're not in the best of moods today, and I get it y/n broke your heart again. But that doesn't give you the right to take it out on us. Everyone is walking eggshells around you today because you're a ticking time-bomb."

No one absolutely no one ever had the guts to call Shuri out on her destructive behavior. Especially when it came to you, everyone in her life just gave her space till the storm passed. But it wasn't a storm it was a full blown hurricane, and not a person was spared its warpath.

Shuri was ready to turn that same rage onto Amira for daring to say such a thing, but it dawned on her that the girl was right. This lab had always been her safe space, the perfect getaway for whatever she was going through. And her employees loved their work just as much as she did, and viewed it the same way. Her behavior was tainting that.

Instead of whirling around to yell at the girl like she originally planned. Shuri removed her lab coat. "Griot I'm taking a short break let my mother know I'm out if she comes for me."

"Of course Princess Shuri" The A.I. replied.

Shuri started walking towards the elevator, pausing when Amira didn't follow immediately. "Are you not coming Amira? You are the one who invited after all."

The girl stood rooted in place by shock that her plan actually worked, and the boldness paid off. Amira believed she would be out of a career by now. She blinked a few times before Shuri's voice calling out for her to "come on" registered in her mind. Amira nodded chasing after the Princess.

The Market

Amira and Shuri browsed the market for a short time to see what it had to offer. Neither of them got out that much, so it wasn't often this opportunity came by. In the past you would venture down to the market on your own, and return with a present for her. Nothing to extravagant just a nice token that she would appreciate. When they passed one of the jeweler’s stand. Her hand came up to play with the necklace resting on her collarbone. It was made out of a soft and silky material tied together with a Black Panther charm dangling on it. On the back of the charm was her brother's initials engraved.

Not too long after his death you gifted her the necklace as a remainder that. He was always with her in spirit and to keep him close to her heart. She threw herself into your lap that night in the privacy of her room to break down into tears. It was one of the rare moments where you actually held her.

Amira noticed her fingers fiddling with the charm, and the faraway look in her eyes. "Hey my usual spot is right up ahead come on" she urged her. The objective of this lunch was to take her mind off of you.

It was a nice little cozy restaurant that was buzzing with a younger crowd. The doors were held open by kickstand, and the dinning room floor plan was open. The patrons were allowed to sit anywhere they pleased, and a server would come by shortly.

The chatter went down to surprised gasps as Shuri entered the establishment. The Princess didn't get out much, but after the death of her brother. The sighting of her went from rare to nonexistent. And to see her in the company of one the restaurant’s regulars got the whispers really going.

Amira led her to a booth by the window in the corner for privacy. The tables surrounding it were unoccupied, so they wouldn't have to worry about eavesdroppers. The menus were positioned on the side of the napkin holder. She pulled them out and slid one to Shuri who sat on the opposite side of her.

"My go to is this fruit bowl mixed with meats and vegetables. I know it sounds like a weird combination but it works." Amira told her trying to see if she would try anything new.

"I think I'll keep it simple and just go with the jerk chicken with vegetable rice." Shuri replied in a quiet voice pushing the menu to the center of the table. She could feel everyone's eyesight lingering on her, and it made her uneasy. Even when she did come out in the past you were always by her side, and had methods to prevent prying eyes.

"Hey relax they are starstruck right now. It'll pass in a moment or two I promise" Amira reassured her.

"Yeah?"

"Yes" she promised nudging the Princess's foot with her own.

Thirty minutes later and indeed everyone in the cafe was back to by their own devices. Rather it was focusing on studies or telling stories with friends. Even if they were staring Shuri probably wouldn't notice, as she dug into her food. It had been hours since her last meal, and the way her mouth watered at the sight of the hot and savory dish was proof of that.

"I see even royalty forgets their manners on the right occasion" Amira quipped playfully.

Shuri paused in the devouring the nearly depleted chicken bone to glance up at her. "My apologies dear friend the food here is quite delicious."

"Its okay Princess we've all been there" She told her waving the apology off. Her own bowl of mixed fruit, veggies, and various meats sat in front of her with smoke tendrils wafting up from the heat. She took a few bites letting flavors battle for dominance lighting up her taste buds.

"That really does look good" Shuri murmured

"Do you want a bite? Hand me your spoon."

Outside The Cafe

You watched as Shuri leaned over the table to accept the spoonful of food for Amira. Her eyes lit up as she chewed on the dish a smile gracing her lips.

Just like that in the matter of a few hours the Princess had not only recovered from your words, but she had also moved on with someone one else. At least it wasn't the dreadful Aamina.

Amira really was prettier. She would be good for the Princess you decided, knowing that your love was in good hands. You turned around and walked away for good this time.

Ayo was going to tell Okoye the truth about you, and the General would realize she was right to push you away from Shuri. Eventually the news would reach her mother who in no doubt was going to tell her beloved daughter the truth.

Your time here was up.

A Few Hours Later

It was when Amria and Shuri were on the way back to the palace after a two-hour lunch break. Amira finally felt comfortable enough to bring up a sensitive topic with the Princess. It seemed like storm raging inside of her had passed by now, and Shuri had a bit more pep in her step.

"Shuri if it's okay with you there's something I want to tell you about y/n. Something you need to know" Amira said.

Shuri came to a stop to turn towards her fellow scientist with a raised eyebrow. "Don't take this personally Amira but what could you possibly know about y/n that I don't already know?" She did her best to keep her voice leveled, and not let her emotions takeover but her words came off as a warning.

Amira didn't heed it though. "Its nothing more than a theory based off what I witnessed sometime ago. While you were absent in the lab, and she thought she was alone."

"I don't do theories Amira" Shuri snapped.

"Fine if you don't want to hear it just say that. I just thought you would be interested in the story considering I believe. It might be the key to figuring out why she chooses to love from afar." Amira didn't even get to take one full step, before Shuri was grabbing her arm in a death grip.

"No I'm sorry I want to hear it" She blurted out in desperation. "Please tell me." If there one was equation in her life that seemed impossible to solve. It was the equation of your love, how could your love for her be so strong, yet you fought against it everyday. If Amira had an answer to that she wanted to hear it.

"It happened a few months ago and its going to sound crazy, but I promise its truth" Amira told her. "You were with your mother while y/n was in the lab waiting for you to return. The lab was nearly empty besides me and about two more scientists. But she was standing by your workstation like she always does, and no one else was really in her vicinity. You know I don't know why but something made me look in her direction."

She paused to take a deep breath knowing this next part was going to change everything for you. The young scientist just prayed it wasn't for the worse. You were her friend and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin your life. "Y/N was just leaning back on your workstation when something dropped from the ceiling onto her neck. I'm pretty sure it was a spider."

Shuri couldn't hold back the scoff in disbelief, but motioned for Amira to continue. It didn't seem to faze her at all. She knew how ridiculous it sounded. "She panicked and I know this sounds crazy but the spider kind of just shriveled up, and dropped dead."

"You're saying that y/n killed a spider with her thoughts or something. I don't understand" Shuri said a bit confused.

Amira shook her head. "No it touched her bare skin on her neck, and I mean she didn't glow or anything. But the second she tensed up the creature did too until it was gone. I wasn't sure of what I was seeing until y/n turned around like she knew exactly what she had done. Her behavior afterwards was pretty frantic as she looked around making sure no one else saw what happened."

"And she didn't notice you?" Shuri questioned.

"No I was on a higher level. I think it was her skin it makes sense when you think about it. Why she's always wearing gloves, and long-sleeved shirts. Why she refuses to make skin-to-skin contact with anyone. What if her skin is poisoned or something?"

Just like that the gears in Shuri's mind started turning as the theory registered in her brain. Amira's theory would literally explain everything. You pushed her away whenever she tried to kiss you, hug you, or initiate any type of physical contact.

You were never shy with your words, and Shuri could flirt with you all day without your walls going up. But it was whenever she pushed for more physically you got scared, and pulled away. You were never willing to take your relationship with her to the next stage beyond just words, and longing stares. But why wouldn't you just tell her that? Why keep it from her?

"Griot has Ayo and the team returned from their mission yet? Shuri asked the A.I. in a hurried voice.

"Yes Princess they landed in Wakanda approximately two hours ago" He answered back.

"Where is y/n's location right now."

"I'm sorry Princess but I don't have that information right now."

Shuri frowned "can you get a read on her kimoyo beads?"

"No I believe they have been deactivated Princess Shuri."

"No" Shuri whispered before breaking into a run towards the palace.

The Palace's Armory

"Did you know about this Okoye?" Ayo asked the General after recounting what had happened on the mission.

Okoye stood beside her second-in-command with her gaze focused on the city below. On the inside she was beating herself up all she could think is that she was wrong. She was wrong to come between you and Shuri. She was wrong to assume your issues with love was the product of a broken home. She was wrong to not push you to open up to her more. Now any chance to make up for her mistakes were gone considering. You were probably already gone, and this time it might be for good.

"Okoye" Ayo called her name sharply to bring her out of her thoughts.

"No I didn't if I had do you really think I would've been so hard on her." Okoye finally said turning to her with a look of regret.

"Do you think its possible T'Challa knew?"

If anyone would've known about your secret it would be him. All of the pieces to the puzzle were starting to fit right into place now. It always bewildered her how T'Challa went out of his way to give you special treatment. She still remembered the day he pulled her aside to tell her.

She would be in charge in training you privately, and to respect your attire. He made it clear your main position was by Shuri's side, and you weren't to go on any missions without his approval. All of those rules and restrictions baffled her, but now it all added up. He knew what you were capable of, and did his best to make you feel at home. T'Challa gave you a second chance at a real life filled with purpose and love.

"He knew" Okoye clarified.

"Then why keep it-" Her question was cut off at the sudden bang from the door being pushed open. Shuri came through it leaning up against the wall panting. She was out of breath and sweaty from making the long run from the market to the Palace, and to the Armory. Where she knew Ayo and Okoye would most likely be located.

"Shuri is everythin-" Okoye began to ask, but paused when the Princess held up a hand.

"Where is y/n? I need to speak with her now."

"Shuri it pains me to inform you of this, but I don't think she is here anymore. We have reason to believe she left." Ayo told her.

"I know that I need to know where she would go" Shuri insisted jabbing a finger at the General. "All those years ago when I sent you to go in search of her parents. Did you find them?"

Okoye gave her a slight nod with a frown. "I don't think they're going to be much help Princess. They weren't very welcoming when I showed up on their doorstep asking questions about y/n. The only thing her parents were concerned with was making sure she wasn't coming home."

"I don't care its the only lead we have, and I need to find her. I have to find her. Okay she doesn't get to just walk out of my life like we never meant anything to each other. I don't care if she was trying to protect me from her" Shuri exclaimed.

Her outburst caught both Ayo and Okoye off guard the last of her words making them exchange a look. And the Princess didn't miss it.

"Yes I know about her touch of death now are the two of you going to help me find her or what?"

Locating you was easier said and done. Okoye wasn't kidding when she said your parents weren't going too much help. Six years had gone by since the General tracked them down for answers, and a lot had changed between now and then.

Shuri looked them in Wakanda's database only to discover your parents had went off the grid about three years ago. She searched every nook and cranny looking for a connection to them, but couldn't find one. Without your parents the Princess was at a dead end with your whereabouts.

But she still wasn't going to give up. The state of your room made it clear you left in a hurry. Your drawers were left open with clothes hanging out, and discarded everywhere. The closet door was open with the contents of it in a disarray. Your bed remained untouched. Shuri didn't know what she was looking for, but she tore through your belongings hoping you left something behind. On accident that could lead her to you.

Two Days Later

The trip back to your childhood town took two days with you walking some of the way. Until you came across some travelers who were willing to take you the rest of the way. Since they were already headed in that direction. You made sure to pay them for their generosity once they dropped you off.

The town hadn't changed much in the eight years you had been gone. It was small and local with a few businesses. There wasn't much to do entertainment wise. One of those places where everywhere knows each other, and are friendly to one another. One school for each grade level so all of the kids would grow up together. You didn't know if any of your old classmates would remember you, but you knew some of the older people would.

For that reason you kept your hood up as you walked through the town. Keeping your face concealed as you could feel everyone's gazes following you. Some of the faces struck a cord in your memory tugging on your heartstrings, but you had your destination in mind. And didn't want to become sidetracked for even a second. Also you didn't feel like dealing with the plethora of questions they would bombard you with.

Not too many people ever left this place, and the ones that do hardly ever returned. Unless it was a social visit to family and friends. You weren't a hundred percent sure your parents were gone from this place, and your childhood friends were different people now. There was no way to know if you would even get along with you now, and the last thing you needed was more personal connections.

There was one more ulterior motive for why you were going through so much trouble to keep your identity a secret. If you knew Shuri (which you did) she wasn't just going to let you disappear in peace. Not once she realized you had no intentions of returning this time. She was going to use all her resources to in her search, and putting out a country wide alert for you wasn't off the table.

You prayed to Bast that the one person in this town who really did know and care for you was still here. The old lady never wrote back to you, and you never bothered to do a welfare check on her or anything. You had convinced yourself she was happy to have you gone, and guilt tore through your body.

Because here you was turning up on the doorstep of her house that was still standing in the same location. It was midday so if she was still here she would be cooking dinner by now with some music playing in the background. It took five minutes for you to muster up the courage to finally knock on the door. You didn't want the nosy neighbors alerting the town's guards of some stranger hanging around, and acting weird.

You heard the thumping sound of footsteps approaching the door, and your heartbreak picked up. If it wasn't her on the other side of the door you were truly out of luck, and on your own. Finally the door opened revealing a short mocha skinned woman with curious brown eyes. There were streaks of gray hair mixed in with her original black hair pulled up into a neat bun. A locket dangled on her neck holding a picture of her late husband. She was dressed in blue summer dress with some sandals.

You yanked your hood off showing your face with tears of joy and pain. "Hi Mrs.Hassan its been a while huh."

Her eyes widened in surprise at the sound of your voice. Shock coursing through her body. "Y/N baby is that really you? She asked stepping outside onto the porch to get closer. You let her until she reached out a hand to touch your cheek. At that you jerked your head back avoiding the physical contact.

She frowned as a warm smile graced her lips. "Oh its you alright stop being so stubborn and come here."

You laughed leaning down to wrap your arms around her in a tight hug. And she returned it making sure to avoid touching any skin that wasn't covered by clothing. Your laugh broke down into a chilling cry as your emotions finally caught up with you. Zola pulled back from the hug to lead you back inside the safety of her home.

Where she led you over to the couch so you could sit down, and get all the crying out your system in peace. You buried your face into your arms hunched over. You could feel her rubbing wide circles into your back trying to calm you. But all you could think was Shuri, and how life really wasn't fair.

You spent your entire life telling yourself that you would never fall in love with someone. Not because it wasn't worth the risk, but because you figured no one was capable of loving you in such a way. After all the very people who brought into this world, and was supposed to cherish you more than anything despised your very existence. All you wanted out of life was a purpose, and you found one with the royal family. But falling for Shuri was never part of the plan but the girl made it so easy. Your heart never stood a chance, and now you were thinking that Bast just had it out for you. Why let you feel something that you could never truly have.

"Sweetheart tell me what happened" Zola said softly.

"I had nowhere else to go" You whispered sitting up straight, so you could lean back into the cushions.

"I'm not angry that you're here y/n you have always been welcomed in my home, and you know that. I'm just surprised to see you here its been eight years. One day you were here and the next you were gone for a while. I was terrified those awful parents of yours did something to harm you."

Knowing that Zola never stopped thinking about you from day one made your heart clench. It made you feel even worse for not trying to visit. "I wrote you all the time."

"I know I got the letters" Zola replied nodding her head in the direction of her five shelf bookcase.

You glanced over to see a pile of old letters sitting atop the third shelf. "Wait why didn't you ever write me back?" You asked a bit hurt by this revelation.

Zola arched an eyebrow at your tone. "Baby you never put a return address on a single letter, and your parents wouldn't tell me what they done with you."

Heat rushed up to your face as you looked down slightly embarrassed. It had been your fault she could never reach out to you, but then again you figured she would move on with her life in your absence.

"I didn't know if you would care enough to write back. The letters were part of my cover story, everyone thought I was writing to my parents" You confessed in shame.

Hurt flashed in her eyes as she released a disappointed sigh. There was a moment of silence, and for a second you were worried she was going to kick you out. Now that she knew you had no real intention on keeping in contact with her. But she just asked another question.

"Where did they send you?"

"They took to the capital city to give to the King so I could enroll in the academy for young Doras."

"Ahhhh now it makes sense." But her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "No offense but why are you back here now then?"

"i screwed up Mrs.Hassan this stupid curse ruined everything like it always did. You are the only person in my life who's ever been able to see past it, and treat me like a person."

Zola smacked you in the back of the head making you cry out in pain, and scoot away from her. "Young lady I don't ever want to hear you talking like that again. I told you that years ago when I started bringing you over for dinner. Now I get your parents didn't love you, but not everyone else was going to be like them. You never gave people a chance to see the real you sweetheart, and every time someone did. You pushed them away and went running from the hills."

"It was better than letting them find out the truth about me, and then starting treating me like some monster" You shot back.

"But how do you could you know that was going to happen when you never gave anyone a chance?" Zola insisted.

"It wasn't a risk I could afford to take alright. I can't every take that risk even when I want to" You blurted out.

It was your last statement that had her narrowing her eyes at you as she studied you with a piercing gaze. The woman always a knack for being able to see past your words, and find any hidden meanings in them. You got up from the sofa and walked over to stare out the window.

"You let someone in" she breathed.

"Not really she kinda forced her way in by just existing. I didn't know love like existed till I saw her Zola." You told her with a longing in your voice.

"Then why are you here and not out there fighting for her?"

"Because I can't be with her not like this" You snapped whirling around to hold up your hands.

Zola shook her head while getting to her feet. "Y/N when it comes to love sometimes you have to fight no matter what. Even when the odds are stacked against you, and it seems like things can't work. You find a way or make one if you have to, but you never give up. You don't just walk away. That's how some of the greatest love stories are created."

"Sometimes walking away is love, and some of those stories still end in tragedy." You replied making eye contact with her before going on. "I won't let us become a tragedy."

"Two people who are in love with each other, and meant to be together but won't ever get the chance. Because one of you decides it's not even worth trying. It sounds like a tragedy to me" Zola argued.

"Its better than the tragedy where one of us ends up dead" You stated in a low voice.

Zola dropped it knowing that when you got like this there was no point in arguing anymore. You had already made up your mind, and no one could change it.

One Week Later

It wasn't even a question on rather or not Zola would take you in. While she hated the circumstances of your return. She was ecstatic to have some company around the house full-time again. A few of the neighbors would drop by and have tea with her sometimes, and one of the older guards stopped by at least once a week. Bringing her groceries and just to check up on her well-being, but it wasn't the same as having another person living with her.

She had someone to talk to and reminisce with about her younger days, and you loved to hear her stories. Especially the ones about her and her husband. You fit in nicely in your new/old home helping around the house by doing the hard chores. You didn't let her lift a finger when it came to taking out trash, or even picking something up from the floor. Zola started to give you cooking lessons, because if there was one life skill you lacked. It was whipping up any meal that didn't have to be microwaved. Years of living in a royal palace with a team of the best chefs in the world would do that to a person.

She didn't push you on what your plans were for the future, but her heart ached knowing you gave up so much. You thought she didn't notice you stepping away to flip through a small pocket-size notebook, but she did. A picture slipped out one day without you knowing, and when she picked it up. Zola thought her eyes were deceiving themselves.

It was you in the picture with your arm thrown around the Princess of Wakanda pulling her close. Your head was turned towards her lips puckered out nearly touching her cheek. Shuri had the biggest grin in the world eyes closed in anticipation. Waiting for the kiss that would never come.

You didn't tell her your love was the Princess herself, and now that she knew the urge to do something was stronger than ever.

You wouldn't know the elder woman was plotting behind your back till a day later. Zola had gone out into the town to do some light shopping. She left while you were sleep knowing you would insist on tagging alone to assist her in carrying stuff. But leaving you behind was intentional this time.

You were pacing around the house reading the miniature notebook while munching on. A fresh bagel Zola cooked before she left, so you could have a light breakfast. It was then you heard a light tapping on the back screen door leading to the backyard. Your steps faltered as your mind went into high alert.

"Zola that you? You yelled walking into the kitchen. No response just silence but then again it wouldn't make sense for her to use the back door. Maybe it was a neighbor but then why not answer back. It was possible they didn't recognize your voice, and figured you were an intruder. You were pretty sure no one knew of your return yet.

You went over and wretched the door open ready to fend a home invaders just in case. But no one was there the concrete platform was deserted besides her little statues. You stepped outside to examine the open backyard just to be sure. Deciding it was the wind you turned back around to go back inside only to stopped by none other than Okoye.

The General stood in your way blocking the back door entrance with a raised eyebrow. She wasn't in her armor, and her spear was missing from her hand. But you knew none of that mattered she was still dangerous, and it wasn't a fight you could win. Not even you were that good besides she taught you everything you knew.

"How are you here?" You squeaked out the question looking over your shoulder for. The person you knew had to be accompanied with her.

"I think the better question is why am I here, and you should know the answer to know." Okoye said narrowing her eyes at you. "Don't try it y/n."

Of course she knew you were trying to come up with an escape plan. Which meant you wouldn't make it very far.

"She's waiting for you over by the tree" Okoye told you motioning for you to go.

You shook your head folding your hands together. "Okoye please just let me go" You pleaded out of plays.

"I was given orders to do the exact opposite y/n, and even if I wasn't." She paused to soften her facial expression. "I would still do this to fix my past mistakes. I was wrong about you."

You were taken back by her last words not expecting them. "No you were ri-"

Okoye let out a sigh of exasperation reaching out to spin your body around and give you a light push forward. "uhambe mntwana."

You stumbled into the grassy field and looked up to see a figure occupying the swing connected to the tree. You already knew it was Shuri with her back to you. Heart pounding in your chest you covered the distance between the two of you in five seconds.

You wished you had walked slower as you came around into her line of vision. "Princess Shuri" you addressed her nervously.

She lifted her head at the sound of your voice, and a feeling of relief overcame her as she shot out of the swing to hug you. But you retreated backwards denying her.

Shuri frowned "y/n if I have to order Okoye to hold in place so I can hug you I will."

"How did you find me?" You asked ignoring the threat. You knew she wouldn't no matter how frustrated she was with your behavior. It was a boundary she refused to cross.

"Your friend wrote me later telling me you were here making the biggest mistake of your life, and I agree" Shuri revealed.

You threw your head back with a groan, of course Zola was behind this.

'You certainly didn't make things easier no clues not even a goodbye letter" Shuri said offended.

"I figured a goodbye letter would've made things worse. I wanted you to move on."

"Usisidenge" was her sharp reply.

You raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"You really are the dummy Aamina says you are if you honestly thought I could just move on from you."

"Well it wasn't too hard to believe after I witnessed your lunch date with Amira. You looked perfectly fine to me" You argued angrily. Turning your head away to hide the hurt evident on your face.

Shuri frowned not knowing what date you were talking about right away. But then it hit her the day she went out with Amira to take her mind off of you, and get her raging emotions under control. You must have saw them after returning from your mission. "How did you find us?"

"Aamina couldn't wait to the rub the news in my face" You whispered a breeze carrying your voice.

Shuri burst into laughter out of nowhere causing you to look at her again. "Is that why you punched her?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "You weren't there to stop me and she was a little too happy about my downfall."

"Well just for the record it wasn't a date Amira was simply trying to help take my mind off you. I wasn't exactly a joy to be around in the lab you know" Shuri told with her laughter dying down.

You didn't know what to say. On one hand you were relieved to know she hadn't moved on you so fast, but showing it would make her think the two of you still had a chance. You were determined to stand your ground on your decision.

"She told an interesting story about you" Shuri went on gaining your full attention.

You rose an eyebrow in suspicion. "And what story would that be?" On the inside you were working yourself into a full blown panic trying to figure out exactly what Amira told her.

"She said she once witnessed you kill a spider with a simple touch, or more so it touched the skin on your neck spooking you." Shuri watched you carefully for your reaction, and even though you tried to hide it. She noticed how the muscles started to tense up.

You swallowed hard thinking about all your options. You could deny but what was the point? Had Ayo or Okoye told her about what you did on the mission yet? In the end you decided to test her knowledge.

"So you know about me? You asked nervously

Shuri gave you a tiny nod settling down back into the swing. "I do."

"Then why are you here?" You asked in confusion.

She let out a dry chuckle throwing her head back. How dense could you be? "I'm here because I love you, and nothing or no one will ever change that y/n."

"But my powers what I can do" You insisted holding your hands up. "Does it not make you see me differently?"

"I mean your ability does interest me from a scientific standpoint, but other than that no you're still my y/n. The one I grew up with who protected me from the monsters under the bed. The one who use to help me prank my brother all the time, and would even take the fall for me when I screwed up. The one who carries me to bed whenever I fall asleep. The one who had my heart from the start." Shuri was on her feet now with each word bringing her a step closer to you, and this time you stayed put.

She took that as a good sign resting her hands on your hip. "The one who I know is still in love with me."

"I lied when I said I didn't belong to you I always have and always will" You replied in a low voice.

"If that's true then come back home let me help you, so we can be together for Bast's sake." She pleaded bringing her hand up to graze your cheek.

It was a ghost of a touch but your body was lit up with fire from the physical contact. You wanted more to lean into her hand to kiss her, but it still wasn't a risk you were willing to take. "You can't Shuri don't you think I've already tried."

"Yintoni ngubani" she demanded to know in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

"The American scientist they call Bruce Banner, or you may know him as the Hulk. When he came to Wakanda for during Thanos's invasion I pulled him to the side, and asked him if there was anything he could do for me. Before we were dusted I gave him a blood sample, and apparently he looked into developing a cure for me. In our five-year absence but he couldn't find one" You explained.

If there was anyone in the world who knew your pain it was Bruce Banner. You heard of his story after the incident in Johannesburg, and while most people hated him for what he did. You sympathized with the both the scientist and the giant green guy.

You was expecting Shuri to take a step back and admit defeat instead she flicked your forehead hard. The sharp sting had you flinching back, and rubbing the sore spot.

"Ow what was that for?" You exclaimed with a frown.

"Isidenge" she muttered under her breath.

"Hey stop insulting me" You complained now full on pouting.

"You dare trust an American scientist's judgement over mine. You seek out the Hulk's help but not mine. How does that make any sense y/n"

"I didn't want you to know Shuri I was scared it would change things between us. I love you to you know I have since we were younger, and I didn't want you to fear me, or to jeopardize what we have."

Shuri shook her head still regarding you with a look of disappointment. Her hand took your chin in a firm grip forcing you to return your gaze. "You're not a monster its not like you use your power to harm people, and when you do its in self-defense. If you want to get rid of it I promise I won't researching till I find the answer."

Out of nowhere her arm snaked around your waist bringing your body closer to hers. You placed both of your gloved hands on her shoulder, and dug your feet into the ground. "Shuri what are you doing?" You asked alarmed.

"I'm going to kiss you" she stated.

"No we can't" You refused.

"I trust you" and with those words Shuri leaned forward connecting her lips to yours, and your eyes went wide with fear as you focused on not letting your power loose. But the feeling of her soft lips pressed to your own made you want to give in. This moment was something you dreamed about on a regular basis. You didn't think the day would ever come where it was reality.

The Princess pulled away with a frown, and you let out a whine. "you can do this y/n." This time when her lips met yours you were ready kissing her back with a careful approach. Your hands moved to cup her face as she deepened the kiss with ferocity. Your body sinked into her own, and she brought her other arm down to your waist encircling you in her arms.

Your lips moved against her in a slow and passionate kiss, both of you savoring this moment. Taking the time to learn what the other tasted like. It was heaven for both of you, and neither of you came up for air until two minutes later.

Shuri pecked your cheek over and over again with an adoring smile. "Come home?"

"I guess I can after all who I am to defy the Princess" You replied with a smile.

Shuri chuckled pulling you into her arms with no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

Translations:

Uhambe Mntwana- Off you go child

Usisidenge- Stupid

Yintoni Ngubani- What who

Isidenge- Idiot

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[roobylavender]

so in law there's this concept at times depending on what kind of liability you're working with that you can't have your cake and eat it, too. like you can't settle with someone over a dispute and subsequently sue them in order to reap even more benefits. and it reminds me a bit of the batman fan status quo in general bc i feel like so many fans will bitch and cry and whine about whatever abuse their favorite character is subject to (and i use the word abuse loosely not literally so like. this can also refer to narrative abuse as in them constantly going through the worst shit ever etc) which is totally valid like i don't want my faves to go through a lot of this either but at the same time it's like bc i don't want the abuse i'm not invested in staking some sort of.. entitlement to it. and what i see from a lot of fans is not only the complaints but also the complete inability to chart any other path for their characters that doesn't involve the abuse bc the abuse is too important to their formulation of the character. if that makes sense. like damian fans are always going to make a ruckus about whatever abuse bruce and talia have subjected him to in narrative but then rather than explore whether it was necessary to depict an abusive relationship in the first place they'll be like actually in order for damian to even exist as he is bruce and talia have to be abusive and there's nothing we can do about that so we're going to keep complaining about the abuse while also advocating for it to continue to remain there.. and this isn't exclusive to damian tbh it happens with fans of practically every batkid