#Get his ass Kiran

[hulloitsdani]

Pov you’re Fjorm about to witness the prince of the nation you’ve allied yourself with get brutally betrayed by his own tactician.

[oh-cool-a-burning-sword]

in light of the new FB event:

[swaps55]

Okay, but if I ask *nicely* will you yell about how Shadowfax can't do lead changes? :D

MY TIME HAS COME.

Ok. So. When horses are moving at a canter or a gallop, they have ‘leads.’ As in, one front foot and one hind foot is always ‘leading’ the opposite foot. Generally, when they are tracking to the right, they will lead with their right foot, and when tracking left, they’ll lead with their left foot. Turning is smoother when the lead foot matches the direction you’re turning.

Horses can change leads while moving at speed. It works a lot like a skip, only they have to skip the front and the hind end. Changing leads is something horses do naturally, but they can also learn to do it on cue. The trick is getting them to change both the front and the hind in the same stride. If they don’t – and what usually happens is they change the front end but take another step or two to change the hind – their movement gets really choppy because their front and hind ends are on different leads. This can cause you problems when jumping a course, for instance, when you sometimes have to change directions quickly.

Here's a video that demonstrates it:

SO. Imagine my horse-obsessed ass sitting the theater at the midnight showing of The Two Towers, eyes peeled for Shadowfax, because the Lord of Horses was going to be in front of my eyeballs AT LAST, and if Asfaloth in Fellowship of the Ring was not the Lord of Horses, then holy fuck I can’t wait to see who IS.

...

Before I continue, let’s talk about the Flight to the Ford.

This is one of my favorite sequences in film, and it’s largely because Asfaloth is such a badass. Watch this horse’s feet throughout this sequence. This horse is carrying two fully costumed riders (I can’t remember if they had Kiran – Elijah Wood’s stunt double – actually in the saddle for those scenes, but even if they didn’t, they had something bumping along up there) while moving at high speeds, turning, and jumping.

WATCH THIS HORSE’S FEET.

The way this horse moves, the way he changes leads is incredible to watch.

(Side note: the horse’s name is Florian, and his stunt rider, Jane Abbot, adored him and was devastated that she couldn’t afford to buy him when filming ended. Viggo Mortenson bought him for her, and when I looked, she still had him at age 29.)   

[gently takes your face in my hands] WATCH THAT VIDEO AGAIN.

I believe without question that Florian was indeed Asfaloth, Glorfindel/Arwen’s steed.

Hang on, I’m gonna go watch it again.

…

Ok. I’m better now. I’m fine. I’m not totally overwhelmed by how much I love Asfaloth and how quickly I would sell my soul to sit on that horse’s back.

Now let’s talk about Shadowfax.  

One of the Mearas. Lord of Horses. Who should definitely be able to do a really elegant lead change, because of the whole Lord of Horses thing.

As Shadowfax is running down the hill towards Gandalf, he’s on his left lead. Since he’s about to bend right towards Gandalf, he switches to his right.

In the front.

It takes him another step and a half or so to get the hind end to follow suit.

Is that totally normal for a horse, especially one with no rider? Sure.

BUT THIS IS SHADOWFAX, LORD OF FUCKING HORSES.

ASFALOTH IS OUT THERE DODGING RINGWRAITHS WITH TWO PEOPLE ON HIS BACK AND SWITCHING LEADS ON THE FLY LIKE IT AIN’T NO THANG AND THIS ‘LORD OF HORSES’ CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A HILL.

This was your BIG INTRO, man. There was inspirational music. The rapt attention of Aragorn, Legolas, and fucking Gandalf, and he flubbed the lead change.

SHADOWFAX: LORD OF LAZY LEAD CHANGES.

It’s been over 20 years and I am still not over it. Asfaloth was better, fight me.

[felinecryptid]

A Phone Call Away

this is just goldenpunk fluff idk what else to tell you, there's no plot to this

“Hi,” Pav whispered, as soon as the call connected.

“‘ello,” Hobie hummed. “Wha’ are ya’ upto?”

“Nothing, I’m just out getting some groceries. Auntie sent me out and told me not to come back, until I find the brand of tea she likes,”  Pav smiled and Hobie could feel the sun shining on his face. Then he frowned. “Are you still in bed?” 

Hobie laughed. ”I was readin’ a book,” He said, holding up 1984.

“Gadhe. Tell me you've eaten something, at least,” Pav shook his head, putting a bag of potatoes in his cart.

“Ate some leftover chips, luv’, don’t worry about it.”

“I am going to worry, it’s like 2 in the afternoon at yours, and you’re still in bed. I’m not even there to cook you something.” Pav whined. Hobie felt something warm curl up in his chest.

“Awwh, babe, you love me?”

“Of course, janemann, I love you so much.”  Pav held up a pack of tiny biscuits Hobie recognised to be ‘little hearts’. “I would literally kill to kiss you right now.”

“I’d die to kiss ya’.”

“Yeah.” Pavi stared at something off camera, doing some calculations with his unoccupied hand. “Hey, do you think I should get the family pack for 150 rupees or buy two 4-packs of maggi at 160?” He turned to the camera, showing a yellow pack of noodles to Hobie.

“I don't even know the difference,” said Hobie, finally getting up from his bed, looking for the copper water bottle Pav had bought for him.

Pav hummed, “I’m getting the two 4 packs,” He dumped the said items into his cart. “Should I get schezwan chutney for you?”

“The red spicy one? Oh fuck yea’ ov' course,” He said, watching the shirt ride up Pav’s shirt as he reached for the sauce on the top shelf. “It too high for you, shona?” Hobie asked, seeing the predictable blush rise up Pav's face at the hindi pet name. He loved it when Hobie tried and butchered hindi.

“Jaanu, you know I'm in public. I can't respond like I want to, that's so unfair.”

“I know, mere subah ki kiran,” He said, voice raspy, words feeling unusually rounded yet familiar.

“Hobie!”

Hobie laughed. He could see the deep, almost-maroon blush high on Pav’s cheeks. 

“Have you been learning from Gayatri again?” Pav asked, voice accusatory, and a sparkle in his eyes.

“I'm not gunna conform o' deny tha',” Hobie finally found the bottle under the bed, and drained it.

“I love you so much, you ass.”

“I love ya too. Wha' time is it at yours now?”

“Around eight pm, why do you ask?”

“I thought we’d eat together, you could have dinner early and I'd’ve a late brekkie.”

“It’s a late lunch at this point,” Pav scolded. “But yes, I'd like that. What are we eating?

“Mac n' cheese?”

“You know that auntie would kill me if i told her that's my dinner.”

“Jus' tell her it's a snack.”

“You are the snack,” Pavi giggled, highly weird behaviour when in public, but Hobie liked the thought of them being disgustingly cute for everyone to see. Everyone to see their love. Everyone to see how important Pav is to him.

Another part begged him to hide Pav away bc what if his enemies hurt Pav to get at him?

Hobie shook his head, because what enemies did he have? He was a tattoo artist and Pav was a physics academic. It's not like they were fighting supervillains everyday.

Pav thought the head shaking was for his comment because he doubled down. “No you definitely are.” 

“Does tha' mean you wanna eat me instead ov' the mac n’ cheese?”

“No- I mean- Yes, but what the fuck Hobie, I’m literally at the supermarket, and yes I have earphones in, but-” Someone knocks into Pav.

Hobie recognised the glint of her earrings a moment before he heard her voice. “Oh my god, Pav! You didn't tell me you were back in India?”

“Gayatri! I'm sorry, I came back like 3 days ago, and I've been too busy with packing Maya auntie’s things, I literally forget to sleep,” Pav laughed.

“Sounds like an excuse, Pavitr Prabhakar, you little bitch. If you had let me know, I'd have helped you.”

“That's exactly why I didn't tell you, aren't you working on that new movie? With Ranveer Singh in it?”

“So what, I could make time? And what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help Maya auntie and you to pack her things- Where's she going by the way?”

“Oh, uh- she's moving to the UK, in with us.”

“Oh, she's leaving?”

“Yeah, Hobie and I thought it'd be better if she lived with us and UK has better resources aur sach bolun to unko mujhe apne paas hi rakhna hai.”

“Yeah that's good, I'm going to miss her, I'll miss you both,” Gayatri's voice seemed sad. “But now I've got an excuse to barge into your house.”

“Wasn't I reason enough?”

“You? yes. Hobie? yes. Dono saath mein? Nope, thank you I'm pretty sure I’d have to bleach my eyes.”

“Thats-”

“Shut it. Speaking of hobie, show me the ring?”

Hobie watched as Pav swapped hands, bringing up his left ring finger into view, a familiar ring shining under the harsh grocery store lights.

Gayatri muffled a squeal. Pav’s grin was so wide that Hobie thought it was bleeding off him to Gayatri and him because Hobie found himself smiling into the cabinets as he took out a box of pasta.

“Ohh! kitna pyaara hai! is that real moonstone?”

“Yeah, it's covered with a thin layer of artificial diamond, it's custom made.”

“I'm so jealous. if my next partner doesn't put in at least this amount of effort, i'm breaking up,” Gayatri shoved Pav gently.

“Hobie would love to hear that. Hey, Hobie, did you hear that?” Pav turned to Hobie gleefully, Gayatri butting into the frame with a delighted look.

“Hi Angrez, wasn't stealing Pav’s heart enough? You had to take Maya auntie too?”

“Oh you can’t hear him, take my other earbud.”

Gayatri takes it, sticking out a tongue at both of them.

“Hello guruji,  you are the one 'elpin' me charm them,” Hobie saluted her with the spoon he was using to scoop out salt.

“Oh my god you are so impossible, what's the status on the Kohinoor?”

“Still on the king's head, regrettably.”

“You promised to get it back if I let you have Pav-”

“Hey, am I a tradable commodity now?”

“-at this rate you have to return the entire British museum, including interest.”

“I'd gladly do tha' on its own.”

“I’m going to accompany Pav to yours to make sure you do just that. Okay, guys, you can get back to your mushiness. I need to get going.” Gayatri waved at him and handed Pav his earbud, disappearing out of frame.

Pav looked at him with a giddy smile “I saw you put pasta in water, what do you want to bet I can check this out and get a take out box in ten minutes?”

“Not one euro or a rupee, I know ya can, including Maya auntie’s favourite tea.”

“I already found it,” Pav held up a box and Hobie couldn't resist blowing a kiss.

“You're on then,” He said, holding up a bag of shredded mozzarella. “Let’s see who gets mac n’ cheese done first.”

___

Translation:

gadhe - you ass (but this is the animal ass)

janemann - love of my life (not exactly but close enough)

maggi - verrrryyy popular desi masala ramen noodles

copper infusion water is considered healthy hence the copper bottle

schezwan chutney - a chilli garlic paste its delicious idk the recipe

shona - gold/love

jaanu - my life

mere subah ki kiran - my morning sunshine

Ranveer Singh - famous actor

aur sach bolun to unko mujhe apne paas he rakhna hai - and to be honest, i want her to stay close to me

dono saath me - both of you together

kitna pyaara hai - its so cute

angrez - foreigner (of the english kind)

guruji - extremely respectful word for teacher (when i say extremely respectful i mean it)

kohinoor - famous diamond stolen from india during British Raj

A/N:

this took me forever to edit

i tried a different process of writing which was quicker to finish but took so long to edit iwndiedksndid but ill do this again bc i like this way much better

this fic was inspired by my parents shout out to them for doing long distance straight after marriage with a 1 year old (me) i could never

comment if ya want more bc they keep me alive

[moe-broey]

MEANWHILE. In another realm. I've revisited Alear's FB's

I FEEL LIKE. Alfonse's problem isn't so much that he's emotionally guarded, despite, you know, being extremely emotionally guarded. It's that He Isn't. Like. At the same time.

Consistently, without fail, Alfonse puts himself in situations where he's amicable and helpful. Their C support consists of Alfonse helping Alear see to her own odds and ends, having been brought to Askr with nothing but the clothes on her back. A common situation! He gets her a ring case to put all her rings in. So here, he's helping. And when Alear shows him the rings, and tells him the lore/significance of the rings, he takes an interest -- because of course he would! That sort of thing is right up his alley. And so he's not only amicable enough to be approachable, he's also showing interest in the things she's interested in, and having a spirited conversation about it.

Their B support consists of more of the same, just getting into the details of how Emblems work. HE DOESN'T REALIZE IT YET. But he's bonding with Alear. This goofy ass motherfucker doesn't realize this is literally how friendships are formed. Like I'm convinced he's thinking they're just talking lore and stuff and it's a casual conversation between casual allies and surely nothing emotionally charged will come out of this. He's just being friendly (without NECESSARILY becoming Friends) and there's nothing more to it, there Will be nothing more to it.

A support.

She voices A Problem. TWO things about Alfonse. 1) He was built in a lab to be a fixer (juries still out on his methods/solutions) and 2) He takes things SO personally when he relates to it. PVP enabled he's going to fucking get your ass about it. He is sooooooooo emotionally distant Up Until you fucking provoke him (AND THIS. ISN'T EVEN ENTIRELY TRUE. BC WHAT HE DOESN'T REALIZE IS GENUINELY BONDING OVER SHARED INTERESTS COUNTS TOWARDS BECOMING INVESTED IN THAT PERSON which is HOW he ended up in The Situation in the FIRST PLACE).

Which leads to him "helping" (POORLY.) (Because in all of this he IS still wired to help people)

Which just pisses him off even MORE, believing he has the Correct and Inevitable perspective and desperately wants to get Alear to see it the same way, doubling down.

(Bro I am going to hit image limit again before even making my point..... AUGH)

Alear's next lines, "That's true, but won't keeping my distance mean I appreciate them less while I have them?" / "Is that how you see your relationships with Heroes? With me?" / "No matter how much time we spend together, you'll always keep me at arm's length for when I have to go?"

Here, I think Alear is expressing to him she already sees him as her friend. I don't think Alfonse picks up on it though, trying again to get her to see his side of the issue -- as if, in his mind, they're just debating and not having an emotional conversation.

Alfonse's next lines: "Consider it from my perspective. If I am too attached to you, and you leave, I could lose my will to fight." (ALFONSE. ALFONSE. COME ON MAN.) (LIKE. Idk man if you're saying shit like that I think it's too late. It's so over for you.)

THIS ONE THOUGH. I THINK. PLEASE staywith me but it is the root of it all

Euden's (named Milo here lmfao Milo jumpscare) next line: "Do you not feel the same way about us?"

Alfonse's lines: "My apologies, but no. The forming of friendships is a thing I don't take lightly." / "It's true that I rely on the assistance of Heroes summoned from different worlds when fighting, but that is wholly different."

Alfonse lines (continued): "I have a duty, and can't afford such hurt. So if I grow close to someone, I do so accepting the potential consequences."

AAAAUGHHHH WHAT IS MY THESIS. WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT. I HAVE MORE CONNECTIONS TO MAKE. AND FOR WHAT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

SOMEHOW. His Book 1 (p sure they're from Book 1) lines to Kiran that go, "I suppose we don't know much about your world. And how rude of us to not ask until now!" / "What? Your world has buildings that scrape the sky? And what do you mean by 'cars'?" / "Like wagons... that run without horses... and are made out of metal? Fascinating." <- THESE LINES. Combined with his smiling sprite. TO ME are a direct parallel to his C and B Alear conversations, HOW, he's taking an interest in Kiran and without realizing he's growing a fondness for them.

Something SOMETHING about his cognitive dissonance about how he can be friendly without "being friends", how he's afraid of caring too much when it's clear he already cares at least a little ESPECIALLY SHOWN. In how, Alfonse doesn't realize he could have hurt Alear's feelings until she directly states it: "I understand. Still... it makes me sad."

ONLY THEN he gets his panicked(?) sprite, replying, "I apologize for upsetting you." It's here I think he finally realizes, OH. THIS IS. An emotional conversation and not like a debate of ideals and I feel bad for hurting you. BECAUSE!!!!!!!! HE'S COME TO CARE ABOUT ALEAR!!!!!!!!! IN ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!! Whether he's fully aware of it or not, whether he LIKES it or not, he cares about her feelings and wants to make it right. Into, expressing (again that PVP "Well I took that personally" reaction he has): "I suppose it's just that, when you talk about the Emblems, how you worry, I feel as if I'm hearing my own voice."

Which S support, sets up for a resolution and mutual understanding peace and love all is well with the world 👍

ALSO the parallel to Euden, since this is the very start of what would be analogous to support conversations (side story content unlocked by powering up the character), Euden takes Alfonse's response to him in stride -- since, there's no real emotional stakes. Aside from, Euden wishing they could be friends (since he's just built like that), but ultimately giving Alfonse space and respecting his feelings about it. The Point: While they've been working together, Alfonse hasn't Quite developed that fondness yet I don't think (esp from what I remember from the main plot of the crossover event, which is next to nothing LMFAO). It develops later!!!!!!

If I hadn't hit image limit I would insert the What the FUCK are you two talking about meme here like. What the fuck AM I talking about. Can someone else make this post actually I don't think I'm qualified 😭😭😭😭😭😭

MAIN POINT.

I look at Alfonse and I go I think I hauve covid.

[imustbenuts]

Kiran is luck itself. And that luck is causing problems in FEH, an analysis. (Part 1!)

(Disclaimers first. One, I’m drop kicking my Kiran is a deity theory from this post, but elements of it will pop up bc it’s hard baked into the game now. Two, my understanding of Norse mythos is very limited and I might get some stuff wrong. Am doing my best, but if there’s any hiccups I apologize ;; also Part 2 is here.)

Luck in FEH is a big big thing.

It's in gacha, which is the core mechanic of the game, but it's in the story too. And I think this luck is causing massive fucking problems as time goes on, but specifically to Kiran as well.

In the original Norse mythos, Odin/Alfador knows the future to come. His best buddies are Loki and Thor, who together make up the Norse Trio. Surtr is meant to bring about Ragnarok, and end the world.

But something is weird in FEH's story, and we can safely say now that Ragnarok is averted or subverted after the events of Book 2 and everything that has gone on since. FEH's story has derailed so hard from Norse mythos that we can't predict anything anymore, and it's thanks to 1 Summoner allying themself with Alfonse & co.

Bc see, Kiran's real power is half from their ability to summon heroes, and other being their incredible fucking luck. In fact, here’s a brief overview of how each book was won in Askr’s and their allies’ favor real quick. (Feel free to skip over this segment under the read more if you don't need a refresher.)

Book 1: Kiran gets dropped into the world of FEH after Alfonse & co seeks out the legend behind Breidablik. Their situation immediately turns around from being helplessly invaded to invasion repelled. OoH gets fully established as a result of Kiran’s presence. Lucky them!

Book 2: OoH travels to Nifl then to Muspell, fighting against a tyrant named Surtr who is unkillable due to his Rite of Flames. Helbindi intervenes by removing the sacrifice needed for the rite, and the Order drop kicks his ass into the aether. Lucky for everyone!

Book 3: Hel invades Askr, but one of her generals, Lif, turns out to be an Alfonse from an alternate world who wasn’t so lucky and everyone died. Passing that dead Kiran’s Breidablik to our Kiran, we luckily gain the power to kill that which cannot be killed, Hel.

Book 4: Freyja seems to be keen in trapping Kiran in the dream world through a bluff, but Kiran decides not to believe in the bluff and kills her and wakes up to find that Alfonse is actually still alive. Lucky them!

Book 5: Reginn is the luckiest here, in that finding out she’s the real successor to the throne of Niðavellir. By accepting and allying herself with the OoH, they do the difficult task of killing her brothers and taking out Eitri to bring peace to Niðavellir. 

Book 6: Thanks to Kiran preventing Alfonse from cutting down Bruno all the way back in Book 1, Bruno eventually pulls off the ultimate sacrifice and helps Askr and Embla achieve peace. Lucky, but tragic.

Book 7: The Kiran we know happens to pick up a glowing Breidablik which has been +1’d and can break everyone out of a perpetual time loop. Lucky them, since the other Kirans did not make it.

So. Kiran is not winning necessarily by having incredible power. They are winning by being in the correct place, with the correct people, under the correct conditions, and having the correct power-ups.

And even if you want to argue it's about raw power, the ability to summon powerful heroes is also dictated by luck in the gacha mechanic.

In short, Kiran and whoever allies with them is surviving by sheer luck.

The problem here is that, despite preventing Surtr from causing Ragnarok, Kiran is now... effectively causing Ragnarok.

OKAY to be fair it's more like preventing a meteor from impacting the earth directly by shattering it into a billion pieces, but having to deal with the small bits and aftermath. The Ragnarok was the meteor, and while Surtr was going to be the trigger, a lot of things were already in motion long before Kiran's arrival. Askr and Embla's 'feud' for example. Taking out Surtr only seems to change the trigger and cause smaller explosions instead.

Kiran is definitely helping, but in doing so have gone from being a curious insignificant interloper to a outright formidable entity in the world of FEH. In fact, the more they seem to fix, the more things change, and the more the world reacts to their actions and accepting their presence. And also, drawing attention to them and theirs.

Which. Causes problems. More so for one guy who knows everything. Alfador.

If I were Alfador, I would be interested in paying super close attention to this cryptid the moment they landed, more so because they don't fully belong in the world of FEH.

There's some evidence of this. Loki and Thor immediately puts them on a watchlist as early as Book 1. As part of the trio, they would know some things about the prophecy, especially Loki. Since Loki LOVES chaos and fun, it's entirely possible she's very invested in Kiran's ability to fuck shit up.

Loki even seems to give Kiran and co a chance to break fate in Book 2 by letting them mess with Surtr's Rite of Flames. And once that they've proven they can, and again in Book 3 by killing death Herself, all bets are off.

Kiran. Can. Kill. Gods.

Which then kind of makes sense for what happens in Book 4. From what I can understand, it seems like 4 was a whole ploy by Freyja to keep Kiran trapped in the dreamworld through a bluff. In Book 4 chapter 15:

Freyja: I don't suppose you CAN remember what happened... If you could recall, the dream would likely collapse. Be that as it may, the truth is that this mortal you care so much for, Prince Alfonse, defeated death... And with that, He Who Created Everything, Alfaðör, has decided... Prince Alfonse could no longer be allowed to exist. A decision made by the Creator is absolute. His will is truth—and as you know, truth is inescapable. Yet here you are, fleeing... Soon you will have no choice but to accept it. Prince Alfonse is gone. You will never see him again!

The bluff itself is very interesting, since it's the first time we see the name Alfador be dropped directly in Kiran's face. It's also a hint that Freyja and Alfador may be working together, since Freyja doesn't have a real gain out of trapping Kiran in the nightmare realm aside from for the hell of it otherwise. (And maybe also to kill her brother. Is she in on it?)

PLUS, Alfador in FEH is the CREATOR. Which adds to Kiran being something he did not create, and seriously does not bloody belong in the world of FEH!

AND now in Book 7 Gullveig seems to have been brought into existence because of Kiran in... a way. It's ambiguous here but that luck works, in weird messed up ways sometimes.

So to reword this in another way...

Kiran's superpower is LUCK itself. And they are actively breaking fate with it, in doing so causing ripple effects which drastically alters events. Alterations which one Alfador may or may not like.

And the more they survive, the more gods die, the more things change, the more aggro Kiran will draw unto themself and their allies. Which means, Kiran could become a Surtr replacement in the worst case scenario, but will likely crawl out of the carnage. Through luck. Again.

So in summary....

Alfador has high blood pressure now.

Edit: a part 2 has been written!

[artzychic27]

More Favoritism stuff, cuz… I fucking love this au. Also, the person who sent in the first ask, sent in another one where two gay punks get the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous, so expect to see that soon

Now, let’s just throw around a few incorrect quotes

Marc: *About to go into battle as Mariquita* I know you're a little worried about me. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. We've never gone into a fight like this, and I don't know what's gonna happen. But you don't have to worry. I will make it back. I love you, man.

*Kiran hugs Marc*

Lila: Aaw.

*Marc then turns around in shock to see Lila, who has heard his every word*

Lila: Are you talking to your baby brother?

Marc: No!… Shut up!

Lila: That's adorable!

—

Mariquita: And where have you been?

Bomb Shell: Nowhere?

Mariquita: How did you get so hurt?

Bomb Shell: Oh, that. Well, uh, we were...

Vulpix: Hit...

Viperion: By a...

CapriKid: Bus?

Queen Bee: *whispers to CapriKid* Hit by a bus?!

CapriKid: Well, what was I supposed to say, meteor, cow, flying building?!

—

Lila: *To the student body* Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who took pity on me as the new student this year. And I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life. So I pretended to be friends with Marinette, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Marinette said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her break out, and then we turned her best friends against her because, oh yeah! She has her crush’s entire schedule in her room, which is creepy. And then... Oh yeah, Marc- you know my friend Marc? The mastermind got Adrien, Marinette’s obsession, to see the light and separate himself from her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash! God! I am so sorry Marinette. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big crush on a guy who’s not even into you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

—

Marinette: Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop because some of us are just victims in this situation.

Mme. Mendeleiev: … Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Marinette Dupain-Cheng? *she watches all students and teachers raise hands*

—

Marc: Marinette Dupain-Cheng... How do I begin to explain Marinette Dupain-Cheng?

Jean: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a blackmailer.

Denise: I hear she’s got dirt on all of her classmates and they don’t know it.

Lacey: I hear she’s stalking Adrien now.

Ismael: Her room is lined with photos of him.

Simon: One time, I caught her kissing a wax statue of him at the museum.

Mireille: And she threatened me not to say anything.

Cosette: One time she punched me in the face... So I kicked her ass. It was awesome.

—

Marinette: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm popular.

—

Marinette: Why were you talking to Marc Anciel?

Nathaniel: Well, I mean-

Marinette: He’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Marc Anciel. We super close back in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Gerard who was totally gorgeous and obsessed with me, and Marc was like, weirdly jealous. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Gerard, he’s be like, "When can we hang out?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with us?" So then, for my birthday party, which I invited Gerard to, I was like, "Marc, I can't invite you, because I think you're in love with Gerard." I mean I couldn't have that at my party. There would be so much drama. I mean, right? Of course, everyone caught on, and saw him only as a homewrecker, because, duh, he is. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him after, and he came back in the fall for lycee, his hair was messed up and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack.

—

Adrien: Marinette seems... sweet!

Marc: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking demon queen, she ruined my life!

—

Okay, now headcanons!

Marc occasionally gets revenge on Marinette by cutting holes into her jeans, leggings, and shorts

After Marinette tarnished Lila’s reputation by claiming she got Akumatized because she was jealous of her liking Adrien, Marc seized the opportunity to adopt her

Marc: Hey, when you’re done crying over the school’s cult leader shunning you, I wanna restyle your hair.

Lila: … Why are you talking to me? Aren’t you worried about her highness sending them after you?

Marc: Honey, we’ve been bitter enemies the minute she was born. She can do or say whatever the hell she wants. Now, let me do your hair. I’m not a fan of the three ponytails.

Lila: Fine, go ahead. *Marc starts undoing her ponytails* … You do know you’re in the girls bathroom, right?

Marc: Screw gender, you needed help.

They spend their days avoiding Marinette and her classmates at all costs, reading under the stairs on in the basement, and doing each others nails

Lila has considered switching classes, but she doesn’t want to give Marinette the satisfaction

Marc’s closed off from his classmates in this au. He doesn’t know if he can trust them or not, and they don’t talk to him

Whenever they try to make conversation, he gives one worded answers and then walks away

Marinette has blackmail on all of her classmates, and they’re none the wiser. One person thinks everyone else loves her and they go along with it because they don’t want to be shunned and harassed like the outcasts by the rest of the school

It’s mob mentality. She popular and supposedly nice, so people go along with everything she says, and becuase she has connections with celebrities

The moment Nathaniel behind hanging out with Marc and Lila after Marc refused to make an Adrinette comic with him, Marinette made sure to let everyone know about his anger issues, causing him to be avoided by almost half the student body while the rest just try to provoke him

Well, that all ends when Marc defends him

Marc: Oh, Louis. Do I need to tell a certain someone I caught you making out with another certain someone in the school basement?

Louis: Y-you wouldn’t!

Marc: … Try me, bitch. *Louis runs away* That’s what I thought.

Nathaniel: … Thanks-

Marc: Don’t talk to me. *Leaves*

For that Carrie au, Marc’s not bullied as badly as 80s Carrie (because it’s not the 80s where teenagers had knives and could shiv you at any moment and slaughtered pigs), but it’s common to find graffiti on his locker and for some people to steal his belongings

Marc discovers his telekinesis when he inadvertently causes a cup of water to spill all over Marinette after she threw a crumpled up napkin at him

He gets his small dose of payback by tripping a few of his tormentors from other classes, making phones short circuit, and tying some shoelaces together

But enough about that, let’s talk about Malice- Marc’s akuma form in the Favoritism au, and the catty name everyone likes to call him at school

Grimm Reaper going through a punk phase, still has a scythe, can teleport similarly to Oni-Chan, and when people are slashed by his scythe, the worst parts of themselves are revealed

Imagine just these glowing hazes emerging from you, taking your form, and blurting out every awful thing you’ve ever done

Malice’s overall look is a hooded asymmetrical black jacket with a chain belt, torn black pants, and fingerless black gloves. The hood covers his face, showing only his narrowed glowing green eyes and wide smile. (That’s all most people ever see Marc as, just this malevolent person who enjoys the misery of others. But when you pull the hood down, there are cracks on his face, his eyes are dull with black streaks running down like tears, and the smile is gone)

[valiant-if]

What would the ro’s do if they scared the mc and they punch them and the mc felt so bad they started crying

Hi, anon!

I'm going to assume that this is in either a friendship or romantic relationship, cuz otherwise some of these characters would be straight-up assholes about it. 😂

Anton - I mean, he's pretty chill about the MC having punched him in the face on purpose in Chapter 1, if you go that route, so you can imagine how chill he'd be in this scenario. 😂 Especially since he'd be like, no, no, it's my fault, I shouldn't sneak up on you.

Switch - Once the MC calms down, she'd school them in how to throw a proper punch. She will not have them walking around without knowing how to throw a proper punch.

Zero - Might cry empathetically as she tries to help MC calm down. Probably feels guilty as hell for scaring them.

Path - Probably the reason why MC is even crying, cuz he'd be pissed initially. Once the MC cries, though, he'd apologize for being such an ass about it.

Kiran - Tbh, probably dodges the punch flawlessly and avoids the entire scenario.

Yulia - Confused. "You didn't hear me coming? I'm not exactly a paragon of stealth." Also probably worries about getting a cold compress before anything else, cuz Yulia is squishy and not accustomed to violence. 😂

Hex - Probably tries to laugh it off but shifts his attitude into comfort mode if the MC is really that upset. Bear-hugs the incident away.

A2 - "You suck." Long, drawn-out pause as MC gets upset. "Okay, it really wasn't that big of a deal." Awkward shoulder/back pats to try and calm MC down.

Thanks for the ask!

[pangtasias-atelier]

An Askran Gift

Just like wrote this with no brain power, only desire and came out with 2k words out of nowhere lmao. And also because after saving 1.5k orbs, I only got 1 Askr besides spark so was fucking pissed and still am! But oh well! So here's him getting fat as fuck lol

Warning: This is a fetish story!

“I must admit,” Walking down the Order’s numerous halls with the summoner by his side, Askr puts the two’s slow, leisurely stroll on pause. Askr also takes deep breaths and wheezes while he speaks. “In all my expectations upon summoning you, I never imagined such a thing quite like this,” Despite his confession, Askr maintains an agreeable, cheerful smile. He also rests a large, flabby hand on his belly, the tight, form fitting clothes he once wore still as ever form fitting despite the accommodations for his larger size due to how much he fills out the outfit.

Askr’s gut is a rather respectable ball of fat that reaches past his waistband and down to his knees; the upper bit of fabric from the tied robe on his lower half is pushed down from his sagging belly and tucked, hidden away underneath his stomach fat. Likewise, his once defined washboard abs and riblets are hidden under all his extra weight; all his musculature is smothered with hundreds of extra pounds from Askr’s recruitment to the Order upon being summoned a few months back. Those few months certainly have done wonders to the rest of Askr’s girth. His stomach by far the least impacted from copious upon copious amounts of lard added to his figure, the Dragon God of Askr has a rather defined hourglass shaped fitting of his bull characteristics. 

Askr’s two dark, over swollen tits rest heavily atop his gurgling gut—still digesting the multiple pounds of food for a snack. His large chest spills out the plunging neckline of his shirt; the inner portions of his breasts which are larger than his own head pressing up against one another at the same time as they dig against his rotund arms. Askr’s chest nearly adds up to be the weight of his own gut, the two massive tits almost three fourths the size of his stomach. His thighs make even slowly waddling extremely difficult with how massive the two pillars for legs obstruct each other, and every other person who needs to get past Askr’s width in the Order’s wide—but still narrow with every man’s rising weight—hallways. Askr’s loosely tied robe, able to function as a bedsheet from the sheer width of the fabric, clings to his massive, cumbersome thighs. Askr’s pants dig into his enormous legs. The material is particularly stretched around the upper bit of his thighs. Especially with his large shapeless ass, Askr’s rear spilling out his pants unlike the well behaved dragon he usually portrays himself as. The flowing cape behind him thankfully covers up Askr’s wobbling, shapeless exposed shame. His cape manages to make its way down to Askr’s fat filled calves, the lard from them smothering his ankles as the two in turn press down on his tired, overburdened feet from his crushing weight. Even with his own abilities—moving at a tremendous weight only possible from Askr’s strength and magic—the 900 pound bull can barely muster enough energy to maintain the movement, especially when he finds himself much more willing to laze and graze, Askr finding Kiran’s changes to the Order all too agreeable despite his initial dismay and misgivings.

“But you don’t mind it, right?” Kiran responds. Having walked in front of Askr, the wide, spacious hallways still inapt in handling over a third of a ton of fat side by side, he turns around to face Askr. Kiran’s own large gut which struggles to stay contained underneath the navy blue button up, buttons holding on for dear life as the fabric strains enough to leave gaps large enough to show off Kiran’s large, blubbery gut in between the taut buttons smushes against Askr’s own still larger gut. “Because I have a special little gift for you,” Kiran smiles down at Askr, the lofty summoner still managing to stand over Askr’s tall, respectable stature. Askr's gut wobbles from the eager slap Kiran gives it, and Kiran turns back around, giving him a grin as he leads him ever on, the two waddling far past morbidly obese men a normal sight. 

The two eventually manage to reach their destination after a strenuous few minutes of walking which seem to drag on for ages for Askr—both of them wheezing and heaving at the end of their short yet sluggish walk. “And may I ask what this special gift entails?” Askr's ass presses against the wall as he uses it as a resting spot, the blubber from his wide, doughy backside and large rear spreading across the surface. He tilts his head back with his mouth wide open. His rotund figure falls and rises with each deep gulp of air he takes. Askr even jiggles, his gurgling hungry stomach demanding food once more.

The two in one of the Orders’ plethora of hallways, the plain, regular area manages to still feel off to Askr. Glancing around, both visually and magically—using his abilities to feel the energy—he hides his frown upon the strange aura, as if the hallway feels like every other one yet feels just as comfortable and welcoming as the residential wings. The extra bit of adornments in the hall with the addition of plush blue rug used solely in the residential wings only strengthen his feelings. 

Kiran smiles at Askr, the same eager, sincere smile he first presented himself with upon meeting him. “It's just a little snack I used to give all my supports before,” Kiran lies.

“Before they all got too fat to even walk,” Askr thinks to himself, finishing the rest of Kiran’s response. Though, the thought of becoming so big that walking would be nothing but a thing of the past doesn't sound disagreeable to him. Not with the abundance of magic to still aid the smaller immobile blobs, nor when the sight of such a tremendously large man is a rather common sight. Askr's stomach helps fill in the last few wavering walls of resistance Askr might have had, the deep trembling growl in his gut needing—no, demanding—food right away. “Then I will gladly accept a gift from such a fine friend,” Askr laughs, now at ease.

“Perfect! I'm sure you'll love it,” Kiran says as he finally unlocks the door and enters inside, the door usually left unlocked with the room meant to be discovered, Askr's painfully unaware self inept at taking Kiran's hints like the beast laguz before him. He stumbles into the darkness like everyone else who's entered before, but unlike them, Kiran knows exactly where he's going. “Ugh, lemme reach a window for some light,” he leads Askr inside, still pretending to fumble around. Kiran takes careful steps—even more careful than his already slow waddle.

Askr follows behind him; his already sluggish steps are even more laughably slow with the poor visibility. The sound of the door clicking behind him makes his ears twitch, his eyes also widening. “I’m sure you enjoy pranks with how insistent you are on tapping people but I hope-” Askr can’t even finish his sentence when he has to close his eyes shut at the sudden burst of light that floods the room. It takes him a few moments for Askr to regain his bearings, eyes fluttering open. And his mouth hangs wide open upon the sight that awaits him.

The room is absolutely massive. Even larger than the Order’s numerous training areas—all but one renovated into massive mess halls filled with an abundance of feasts and heroes to eat it all—Askr can barely grasp the size of the room. The room even rivals the sheer size of the throne rooms or ballrooms in the largest castle’s home to Askr or Embla. Even with his and Kiran’s already rotund size, the two morbidly obese, near immobile men take up only a handful grains of sand’s worth of space in the sprawling room. The other inhabitants take up a much more sizable, ridiculous portion of the room, not much space now left for the two large men.

Askr can’t even tell apart the enormous, massively fattened blobs in the room, much less identify which heroes they are. Askr can barely assume that it’s only three other men from the feeding tubes attached to portals above their obscenely fat bodies that make even him seem like a twig next to them. And their feeding tubes loudly whir from the waves of food forcibly gushing down into their mouth; though the muffled moans show that all three men gladly enjoy themselves. Two of them are much more comparable to one another in size. They look almost exactly the same, the main difference being one’s slightly paler shade of skin. Said blob, also known as Keaton, is also much more top heavy compared to the other. Keaton’s gut and breasts surge forward in front of him, the mountain of fat cascading in front of him and smothering his immobilized thousands of pounds ago legs. His lard rises high up from so much stacked on top of itself that it hides his sunken face that sports numerous neck and chin folds. Or else Askr would be able to see the twitching wolfskin ears. Keaton’s breasts lack any discernible shape to them much like the rest of his corpulence. And the other similarly sized blob, Kaden, is shaped practically opposite to Keaton. Kaden’s extremely bottom heavy barely able to be described as a body leaves his thighs billowing out on both sides of him. The two carriage crushing thighs manage to spread out wider than his own gut. Though the ends of his legs are still covered up by the sheer expanse of how far out his stomach surges forward. Kaden’s ass completely smothers his bushy orange tail, the two mass asscheeks billowing out behind him. And yet the two massive men still pale in comparison to the titanic wall of blubber behind them. So large, the enormous third man’s monumentality is slowly beginning to push away Kaden and Keaton. The two of them lacking much of a shape to begin with, the third man’s figure is simply fat all around. Yarne’s enormity spreads out in all directions, the obscenely several tonnage of bunny requiring two feeding tubes to keep himself satisfied. Yarne’s breasts cascade down his waterfall of a gut, the two crushing breasts going so far as to touch the rising mound of fat known as his thighs. His long taguel ears are hidden behind the mountain of a gut and also blend in with the pale tons of blubbery they rest on, Yarne’s immensity only broken up by the deep patches of black body hair he has all over his body.

Askr still wide eyed as he stares at the three men, he only realizes that Kiran is right in front of him until it’s too late. A perfectly inconspicuous piece of chocolate is right in front of his face. The delicacy looking like any other one, the overbearing aroma that wafts to his nostrils grapples with his mind, the cloyingly sweet scent the only thing he can think about, even with three enormously fat blobs right in front of him. “Hnngh w-wait!” Askr shouts as he raises a meaty hand to his forehead. Beads of sweat trickle down his portly face, the rivulets of water pooling down on his hefty rack for breasts. Askr takes deep, heavy breaths. He does his best to try and clear his mind, thoughts of anything but what he already craves in his deepest desires taking hold of him. Askr moans as he feels his body warming up. His clothes begin to tear as his body swells fatter. Even standing begins to become more and more difficult than the already taxing chore it was. His limbs become even more useless, the last vestiges of flexibility deteriorating away to make room for more lard. “Wh-what did hnhh did you do,,,”

“I’m giving you what you wanted,” Kiran pats Askr’s head, playing with his blue hair before moving onto caressing his bull horns, watching him continue to blow up with more and more flab.

Askr moans upon the contact. And soon afterwards, he finds himself falling to the ground. But he thankfully has all his extra cushioning to soften the fall. “You’re turning me… making me into them,,,”

“No,” Kiran whispers into his ear, using Askr’s expanding blubbery body as a mattress. “You’re going to be even better,” Kiran continues playing with Askr’s extra appendages, his hands rubbing his bull ears now. 

Askr takes a better look at the three blobs in front of him. Thinking he was just expanding so rapidly, he realizes that the other three men are also rapidly losing weight. It doesn’t take long for Askr to reach the same size as Keaton and Kaden, Askr completely immobilized long ago with even his fingers and toes unable to be moved. It only takes him a little while longer before he even realizes that it is the wolfskin and kitsune, the two just barely immobile blobs. And yet they still continue to lose weight, both of them ending up just a few hundred pounds shy of Askr’s weight before this, both of them able to now waddle at a sizable 600 pounds. Meanwhile Askr is still growing, still not at Yarne’s size, he just barely manages to surpass the also slimming down Yarne by the time Kaden and Keaton begin to slowly waddle and test their regained mobility. Askr continues to say nothing; he simply continues to moan, his eyes almost shut tight in the pleasure of feeling himself fill out the expanse of the room, more and more of his vast body taking up and demanding space like the god he is. Even as he passes Yarne’s initial blob of a size, Askr continues to grow, barely able to reach the bare minimum of coherence by greedily demanding more in between tired, exhausted moans. He doesn’t even pay attention to Yarne as his weight loss slows down, basking in his enjoyment so much he doesn’t even notice his now visible taguel ears. Askr doesn’t even feel the three six hundred pounders that scale his monumental body, the god of the country now taking on the entirety of the weight the three beasts just lost. He does focus on the fact that he’s stopped growing. His high of enjoyment now diminished, he simply basks in his own enormity.

Not that Askr can truly look upon his own splendor, his vision mostly taken up by his rotund distended cheeks that each alone now weigh more than several men combined. Askr’s hourglass figure still manages to somehow withstand the several couple of tons added to his body in such a short time frame. His two monumental breasts graze the stone floor itself, the bit of lard that rests on the tile pooling in front of his still enormous gut. Askr’s ass spreads out behind him, the large rear unable to even be identified as his rear with how shapeless it is. And his tail is now completely swallowed in between the lakes of fat for an ass. His thighs spread out on both sides, his width alone about three fourths of the room’s width. Askr still a moaning mess, he only pays attention upon the arrival of the nearly a tired, sweaty ton of combined lard for three beasts that managed to climb his enormity. 

“I wahhnt moore,” Askr demands, his speech even slurred and exhausted from the sheer girth of his size. 

Kiran pats his head, gleefully overseeing the entire process. “Don’t you worry. These three are going to take care of you for a bit. So just let yourself be praised and pampered like you want to, fatass,” Kiran transports himself out with a portal, saying goodbye with a final ruffling of Askr’s hair and a large spread of food conjuring itself out from a portal he left as one final treat. 

“Lord Askr,”

“You’re so fat,”

“You must be so hungry,”

“Feed Lord Askr,”

“Lord Askr needs to be bigger,”

The three beasts rub and fondle Askr’s enormity—the minuscule amount of his enormity that they can reach of him—all of them shocked upon his size. Their jealousy of no longer being the fattest still evident, they reason that it doesn’t mean they can’t make Askr even larger, all three also glad for the sudden mobility, no matter how slow their still morbidly obese selves are.

And Askr happily allows the three loyal subjects to feed him, the overfed cow voraciously demanding more in between hurried bites crammed into his mouth. He can’t allow himself to remain upstaged.

Not when even he knows that his current throne room filling size can’t even hold a candle to the castle crushing blobs that are Kiran’s supports.

[layalu]

OC Summary

Woo look i'm finally making an oc intro post on here! This is def non exhaustive and a lot of these guys are old/inactive, but i tried to include the ones that are the most likely to come up xdd Might add more in the future, but this is them for now :]

[continues under the cut]

first of, some og kiddos! most of these originated in rpg/growing species groups on dA but are just unaligned ocs now

Dawn

the only exception to the above statement xd She's my avatar/mascot, essentially! There isn't much else to her honestly. Fun fact about her name origin though: My warriors.. sona, i guess? was called Morgenröte, or Dawnlight when i used her in english contexts, so Dawn's name is a callback to that c: I also considered naming her Morgan as a reference to "Morgen"

Kiran

Used to be a very spunky kid before Trauma TM happened and depression beat her ass. She's been getting better though! Used to be best friends with Lacrima but they've since grown apart. Loves animals and started working on Sam's farm partime.

Lacrima

Smart, self-sufficient, maybe a liiittle fucked up by when she god hellbent on vengeance oops. Lost her closeness with a bunch of her childhood friends during that time. Still a bit all over the place but has found she enjoys administrative work.

Noé

Local theatre kid, and a freelance artist. Which art? That changes with the wind. He has trouble committing to things but that's because so many things in this world are interesting!

Sam

Bit softie with abandonment issues. Loves his family and LARPing and his asshole horse named Sir Samuel II. Works on his farm full time but tries making as much time for his friends and family as possible. Childhood friends with Tumble.

Tumbleweed

A gentle giant who practically lives in the water. Life motto: motto: can't be disappointed by life if you don't expect anything! Works as a life guard and swim instructor. Childhood friends with Sam

Quentin

The swetest potato, but has trouble making friends. A casual but enthusiastic collector with a love for tinkering! Has a workshop together with Flora where he does repair work on mostly on non-mechanical things

Flora

Timid, but inquisitive and creative. Original founder of her now shared workshop which started as a mech repair shop and now entails "anything we can fix!"

Desertblaze

One of my oldest ocs! She's been (re)used a bunch and has been through some shit but always managed to keep finding beauty and love in life. She is. Very near and dear to my heart <3

Nightscar

Tbh i have not used him in a hot minute but i wanted to include him cos he's pretty u.u Also a very old oc; his og name was Schattenjäger (shadowhunter) lol. The first version of him drowned though rip.

Stormyrain

Another fave :] Spunky and full of wanderlust. Her cat version has been inactive for a long time but i love reusing iterations of her cos she is fun and i love her.

Kokosamu

Smug little shit who is equipped with an ego that is way too big for his tiny body. Despite this he is not as bad as he seems! Mostly. He does mean well.

Styrnlona

Big arms, big heart, big hopes. Grew up in a family of fishers and hopes to win lots of money at the coliseum for her family. Turns out that is Really Hard though.

Mikh'a

Is here to avoid responsibilities out of boredom and because adventurers get paid well, right? Well wouldn'tcha know, adventuring is dangerous! oops.

Ulhar

(Ex-)entertainer, professional bullshitter, and apparently a hero now? Ugh. Really just wants to get rid of the worm in her brain, please. Would love to say she doesn't care about anything but unfortunately for her she cares A Lot.

Jamie

The Cooler Sister, bestie of Cove, aspiring marine biologist. If you see me call her Stormy, it's because she is an iteration of Stormyrain xd

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 1.5 (No hiccups)

As so frequently happens when I attempt to write self-indulgent smut, I've wound up writing a bunch of hiccupless character stuff as well. What I've written so far feels fairly important to the "story" (such as it is), though, so I'll be posting it as well. Here's a scene where Kiran talks to Olivia (and eventually Maya) about Susanna and tries to learn more about her.

TW: Anxiety, Self-deprecation, BDSM (alluded to)

"U-um, hello Olivia."

"Hi, Kiran. What do you want to know about Susanna?"

I straightened my back out and shrunk in on myself all at once, no matter how obviously contradictory those ideas were. And my stupid hands just wouldn't stop flapping. In the glances I took at her face Olivia didn't look angry or upset. She didn't really look anything. And she never seemed to really look anything, though it wasn't like I'd know if she did. "I-I'm sorry, I don't want to treat you like some kind of—"

"It's fine." She shrugged. "I'm not offended. I know that you like her." Well. Susan had said that Olivia was perceptive. "And I'm the person who knows her best, so it makes sense to ask. I can't promise I'll always answer, but you'll probably get more out of me than her."

"I...it wasn't just about her," I said as if that made me less of an ass. "I was...I wanted to know...wh...what would you say your relationship is with Susan? Er, Susanna?"

Olivia arched her eyebrows. "It's weird to hear someone other than me call her that."

"Sh-should I not?"

"I dunno. Never asked why she never corrected people. Maybe I should. But I call her that and it's fine, so I don't think it's a problem. If it is, though, she'll tell you. But as for your question..." After a moment of thought, Olivia stacked one of the common area's cube-shaped chairs on top of another, making a small cubby which she folded herself into. Since moving the chairs seemed to be fine, I pulled over my own cube to sit in front of her. "Mmm. Whenever people ask Susanna that question, she just says 'It's complicated.' I don't think it is, but it definitely takes more words to explain than most relationships. Susanna's been my best friend since preschool, but she doesn't think that part counts because we didn't go to elementary or middle school together. I think that's dumb." Susan's perspective on that made more sense to me, but I wasn't going to bring that up. "You think she's the right one, don't you?"

"A-aah—!" How did she do that? What did my face do? What were my hands doing now? Wasn't she supposed to be autistic like me? How did she do that?!

"That's fine," she was shrugging again. "Most people feel that way. And it's hard to explain why I'm right without context you probably don't have. And by probably I mean almost certainly. I can't give it to you, by the way. It's Susanna's context, so I don't share it without her permission. No matter how stupid that is. It's simpler to say that if I didn't know her in pre-k I wouldn't have known I should know her in high school. So it's really important. And I never had a better friend than her between pre-k and high school, so she was my best friend the whole time."

"I...think I can understand that logic. I see where you're coming from at least." She smiled at me. Or at least I thought she did. I wasn't certain. But it looked like a smile. "So you would say that you're best friends?"

Olivia nodded. "Susanna would probably say that too, and it's the simplest way to get most of the point across. It doesn't really cover everything though." She uncrossed her legs and started kicking them against the base of the chair. "I'm aromantic. I've never really felt the stuff that other people feel. But I still love people. I love Susanna, and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with her." My face must have done something because her voice got the tiniest bit softer when she spoke again. "Don't worry. I don't want to be the only person she spends her life with. Kind of the opposite. Going to school without her sucked, so because of that, I didn't realize that it was still really lonely with just the two of us. We've both got other friends now. I like that for both of us. But it doesn't change that she's somebody really special to me."

There was an absolutely unjustifiable envy in my chest, but I could feel the warmth underneath it. The fact that she felt no need to monopolize Susan was definitely making feeling happy for them easier. "It sounds like you have a really wonderful friendship."

She crossed her legs again, rocking back and forth on her tailbone. "Yeah. We do."

I wondered if I could ever have had a friend like that. All the preparatory academies I went to focused very heavily on academia, and what few other students there were we were encouraged never to socialize with. They were nothing but future competition. But even if I had been in a normal school environment, if someone as cool and handsome and funny as Susan only had one true friend, what hope could there have possibly been for me?

"And we also have sex." I yanked my eyes up and caught Olivia's by accident. Before I looked away, though, I got enough of a glimpse of her face to see she was grinning widely. Not just the small smile I thought that I might have seen, but something definitely real. "I always like saving that part for last. It's really funny to watch people react to it."

"I-I'm sorry!" I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for, but I absolutely meant it.

"Don't be, I'm having fun." She was still smiling when she said that. "We're still not girlfriends, because we're not dating. And I wouldn't want to be. I can be girlfriends with Maya, though. It means something different for her than it would for Susanna."

"I...suppose that someone whose relationship dynamics are as...unique as Maya's would inevitably result in unusual relationships between her and those around her."

"I was already weird, but yeah."

"So..." I swallowed. "Given that the two of you are...involved with Maya, would it be safe to, um...I mean, I wouldn't want to presume or, um, intrude upon—"

"No, Susanna and I aren't exclusive. I like her having sex with other people." Olivia paused and rubbed her chin. "I guess I can't say that for certain. I've only got one data point. But I'm pretty sure I'd be happy with you fucking her too." I could feel myself flapping and hear my mouth making noises, and I covered my face as hard as I could to try and make both stop. It sort of worked. "Hey. I know that saying this doesn't actually help, but you don't have to be afraid of her. Susanna will tell you if she doesn't like something. That's one of the things I like a lot about her."

I peeked out from between my fingers. "Sh...she said that too. But a lot of people say that they'll say, then they don't."

"Yeah, that's not her. Susanna's better at saying she doesn't like shit than anyone else I've met." Olivia heaved a sigh and started rocking back and forth again. "It's saying things she does like that's the problem."

"Well, I suppose I can understand that. We have one thing in common."

"You do, yeah. You're better at it than she is, though."

"What?" I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "I...I can't be better at that than her. I can't be better at anything than her."

Olivia hummed. "Programming, chemistry, engineering, math, economics..."

"Y-you know that that's different."

She hummed again. "Sitting in skirts. Not getting in fights. Not getting in trouble in general..."

"I can't be better at socializing than her. Or communicating. I'm...I'm very bad at those."

"There's a lot that's wrong with what you just said, but I don't feel like getting into it right now." Olivia kept rocking back and forth, her eyes pointed up at the chair-ceiling of her cubby. "I haven't known you for very long, but I feel like if you like something, you're able to say that out loud before getting to the point of a complete emotional meltdown."

I blinked. "Has...has that actually happened?" Imagining calm, cool Susan having a "complete emotional meltdown"...the idea just didn't compute in my head.

"At least twice. I'm doing my best to make sure it doesn't happen again, but at the end of the day, that's not really up to me. As much as I'd love to cut the Gordian Knot of her weird anxiety with the knife of just saying shit, that wouldn't be fair to her. I'd be breaking a promise, and I don't do that. And if she never does it herself, she'll never grow. She's gotten better at it since both of those times, though, so maybe she just needs to break the calcium around her brain before she can actually change her mind?" Olivia shrugged. "I don't get it."

I didn't get it either. And I couldn't picture it.

...but I did have information I could get about it. I started forming a corkboard and strings in my mind. What had Olivia said so far?

She and Susan have an intense and loving relationship built up over years

This is not romantic, but it is sexual.

Queerplatonic? Can a relationship be platonic if it's explicitly sexual?

Etymology is frustrating.

This relationship started in pre-k and was re-established in high school after years of separation.

Olivia considered Susan her best friend the entire time they were apart.

There's missing context as to why Olivia feels this initial meeting was important.

It's "Susanna's context"

So something private about Susan?

Olivia likes the idea of Susan having relationships with other people, including romantic and sexual ones.

Or at least she assumes so? From how she spoke about having "only one data point", it seems that the only other person Susan's been sexual with is Maya.

Susan is incapable of sharing her desires

She is extremely capable of communicating her dislikes.

She can't share her desires without "a complete emotional meltdown"

This has happened twice that Olivia is aware of.

After both of these, she says she became better at sharing her desires.

I saw a potential connection and tied a mental red string between 11 and 15. Two emotional breakdowns, two sexual partners. And given that she'd spent so much time in catholic school...by my limited understanding of catholicism, the idea of her having possible hang-ups over sex made a lot of sense.

But then, wasn't she just as prone to sexual humor as Maya was? And seemingly just as comfortable in their queer, polyamorous relationship? Besides that, Olivia had spent some time in the same school system (albeit very little), and she'd demonstrated absolutely no shame or anxiety around sexual topics. Her openness was actually...frankly, a little intimidating. The matter-of-fact discussion of pegging that she and Maya had had in the middle of one of their rugby team's cool-down stretches still haunted my memory and feelings of awkwardness.

...now that I considered that openness though...

"Olivia, may I—" My voice cracked and I looked around, halfway panicked. Nobody else was currently in the common area, though. Not that I could see. "...m-may I ask another question? About Susan?" She shrugged. "I..." I took a deep breath, trying my best to not let my brain light on fire. "W-would Susan's potential...c-context have anything to do with...sexual or romantic relationships?" For a long while, Olivia was silent, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her face. "Y-you don't have to answer!"

"I know. I'm just thinking." Her calm tone let me glance up to look at her, and her face seemed as flat as ever, though she had begun her rocking again. "I'm not sure what kind of way I should answer this question. And me not being sure about that probably communicates something on its own. But then again, we're both autistic, so maybe not. I dunno. Feel free to play with your phone or do something else, I may need to think for a while."

I took out my phone and pretended to be doing something on it. I didn't actually have any games, nor did I have anything I particularly wanted to look up online or people I wanted to text.

...did I?

I looked at the chat app that the women's rugby team communicated with. Susan's profile was there...it was right there.

Could I just ask her?

No. No. I couldn't. Absolutely not. No way. Never.

...but I did have another potential source.

It took me a while to find her since she constantly changed her name and profile picture, but eventually, I managed to find the woman who, to my continued confusion and elation, I was technically dating??? After taking a few deep breaths, I started typing to her.

Kiran (Kiki): Hello, Maya. ...I hope. If this isn't Maya, I'm very sorry.

All 7s slut machine: Nah you got me! Sup Kiki!

Kiran (Kiki): Ah! Good. Well, I happened to have some free time right now, and I've been having a conversation with Olivia.

All 7s slut machine: Hows that work Do you two just Magical brain vibes back and forth at each other?

Kiran (Kiki): ...neither of us is nonverbal, Maya.

All 7s slut machine: I mean Liv is sometimes but not for 'tism reasons. Anyway What were you two fine ladies talking about?

Kiran (Kiki): It's a bit rude, but I was asking her about Susan.

All 7s slut machine: LMAO that checks out Susies never gonna tell you shit about herself unless she doesnt have a choice. So good thinking going with Liv. Whatcha learnin?

Kiran (Kiki): Well, I have a better understanding of Olivia and Susan's relationship now.

All 7s slut machine: Shit really? Explain that to me sometime Not now tho keep going.

Kiran (Kiki): I've also learned about Susan's difficulty communicating her wants.

All 7s slut machine: Yeah she fuckin sucks at that. She made my dumb drunk ass have to sort some of the weirdest shit out just so I could get her to come out of the bathroom so I could fuck her.

Kiran (Kiki): I'm sorry?

All 7s slut machine: Long fuckin story. Probably can't tell you yet. Do you have "The Context"? Except imagine it in like Bigass government letters. THE CONTEXT. Then play scary music or smth

Kiran (Kiki): I'm fairly certain I don't. Would this be the same context that Olivia alluded to regarding their friendship?

All 7s slut machine: THATS THE BITCH

Kiran (Kiki): So may I presume that you actually do know the context?

All 7s slut machine: lol yea And I would fuckin love to tell you about it Kiki I really fuckin would But if I did Susie might actually kill me And by kill me I mean break up with me Whichd like Kill my heart But my heart would go on like Celine Dion Zombie heart. Isnt that a movie? I swear thats a movie.

"I think I've decided." I looked up and saw Olivia sitting up straight again, and I quickly pocketed my phone, turning the sound down to avoid the repeated notifications being sent by Maya. "Yeah. The context has to do with sexual stuff. Good guess. I'm telling you because I'm pretty sure that me even having to think about it was already basically a yes. But I think I'm gonna shut up about it for now, because that's probably more information than she'd want me to ever give."

"I-I'm sorry!"

"You shouldn't be. You didn't do anything wrong." Olivia got up, deconstructing her chair cubby and stretching herself out. "I'm tired of talking, so I'm heading back to my dorm. You can text me if you want, but I probably won't reply for a few hours. See you, Kiran."

"Um...y-yes, bye." I couldn't believe the casual way Olivia said that. Just ejecting herself from a conversation like that...I was horrified and a little offended, but I was also very jealous. And I knew her well enough at this point to not take it personally.

After a moment, I remembered the other conversation I had been having and took my phone back out, seeing a double-digit number of notifications.

All 7s slut machine: Man fuck film critics dude "Trite and formulaic" fuck you! Movies got fuckin zombies in love what more could you want. 34% on rotten tomatoes my ass.

Kiran (Kiki): Um, Maya?

All 7s slut machine: wut Oh shit Ive been ranting Uh What were we talkin about?

Kiran (Kiki): Susan?

All 7s slut machine: RIGHT Susie and her stupid fuckin CONTEXT Okay I cant tell you shit cause Susies dumb and weird about it But I can chuck some hints your way. Liv wants Susie to actually fuckin say it herself but that aint gonna happen so you gotta go detective on this shit.

Kiran (Kiki): You seem really confident that she won't.

All 7s slut machine: I mean she might iunno But shes definitely not gonna do it fuckin fast So Heres some hints.

Kiran (Kiki): Wait!

All 7s slut machine: ???

The correct thing to do here would have been to tell Maya I didn't want any "hints". Even if that wasn't a violation of the letter of Susan's privacy requests, it would certainly violate the spirit.

So telling her to stop would be the right thing to do.

...

Kiran (Kiki): Could you put them under spoilers? I'm Not sure if I want them or not.

All 7s slut machine: lol sure thing cutie God knows you got a bad girl in there wanting to break free. So lemme help you out with a liddle temptation.

"Bad girl", "temptation"...Maya really knew how to make a girl blush.

All 7s slut machine: okay three hints comin right up First ones the least specific second is kinda third is most Have fun sherlock 1. ██████ ███████ ██ ████████ ████ ██ ████ 2. █████ ████ ██ █████ ███ ████ ██ ██████ 3. ███ █████████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ██████ ████

I stared at those three redacted "hints". Why why why did I think this was a good idea? What was I going to do? How could I possibly resist this sort of temptation?

I couldn't help it. I clicked on the first.

1. Susies CONTEXT is actually cute as fuck

...that wasn't particularly helpful. Maya thought a lot of things were "cute as fuck". If they were all as unhelpful as that, then maybe I didn't have to feel so bad about checking them. So I tapped number two.

2. Youve seen me tease her with it before

That wasn't any help either! The way Maya's mind worked was even more of an enigma than most.

...wait, "with" it? Not "about" it or "for" it? So this context was something that could be...wielded? Used? In some way weaponized against Susan? What would one tease someone with? I could feel my face getting redder as I considered the possibilities. A feather, a light touch, a kiss, a whisper, a breath, anything that could potentially be found arousing.

Arousing...was the secret something that Susan found arousing?

That would be relevant to sexual relationships. It would absolutely be something that Maya would refer to as "cute". But would it fit into where Olivia had said she couldn't share it? God, I wished that I had taken notes.

I hovered over the third spoiler. Did I dare?

...no.

No. I didn't.

...but I did dare something else.

Kiran (Kiki): I've looked at the first two hints.

All 7s slut machine: Eyyyy bad girl! Maybe I oughta give you a spanking huh?

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC FLUSTER FLUSTER FLUSTER REDIRECT CONVERSATION IMMEDIATELY

Kiran (Kiki): SO ANYWAY

All 7s slut machine: lmao

Kiran (Kiki): With regards to hint #2, would it be a safe assumption that if you've teased her with it before, you're likely to do so again in the future?

All 7s slut machine: You fuckin know it cutie Probably cant say when im doin it though I know you got the tism but you might have to pull a Liv and figure shit out from the way people react to shit.

Kiran (Kiki): That's Difficult. But with the information I've gathered, at least I have an idea of what to look out for.

All 7s slut machine: w/your bigass brain youll get it in no time

Kiran (Kiki): I appreciate your vote of confidence, though I certainly don't share it. ...If I'm not able to figure it out, though, that's That's alright. I'll trust Susie to eventually tell me. Olivia thinks she'd be able to, and she's known her the longest, so I'll trust her judgment.

All 7s slut machine: good call lol Man I gotta take all four of you out sometime. That'd be bitchin. Maybe try and get some embarrassing stories out of Liv. Get Susie chuckin more bread rolls my way. They taste better when a hot girl throws em at you.

Kiran (Kiki): I'll take your word for it.

I closed my phone and sighed, looking up at the ceiling. The lights were so bright. They always seemed to be.

...it occurred to me that the lights were feeling so bright because it had gone dark outside. That...

That wasn't good.

I mean, it wasn't as if this town was particularly dangerous with regard to crime, petty vandalism and underage drinking notwithstanding. And it was a weeknight, so there was no reason that I should be worried at all about the possibility of walking home in the dark. It was irrational. Stupid.

Childish.

For some reason, Olivia's voice rang in my head: I feel like if you like something, you're able to say that out loud before getting to the point of a complete emotional meltdown.

I tried to picture Susan having a "complete emotional meltdown" again. It still didn't work.

I could absolutely picture myself doing so. And it didn't seem like it would take much to set it off. But it wouldn't happen because I couldn't say what I liked. It would happen because...

...because I couldn't say what I didn't like.

Not like Susan could.

I swallowed back a lump in my throat and opened the chatting app again, moving to the server for the Women's rugby team.

# general

Kiran (Kiki): Hello. I'm currently in the common area of Dedication Hall. I've stayed longer than I intended to, so If it's not any trouble Would one of you be available to walk to my housing with me?

God, what a ridiculous thing to ask. I covered my face and felt so stupid, and when notifications started going off, I braced myself before I read them.

# general

Blindside bitch: FS FS, I got u sis. B there in 5.

This ass warms benches: Dammit, Chloe beat me to it!

Blindside bitch: everyone beats u 2 everything slowass lol

This ass warms benches: You want water next game or not, motherfucker?

Senioritis made manifest: Don't fucking text and run, Chloe. You're not helping anyone if you slam headfirst into a lamppost.

Susie Q(ueer): I'll head over too just in case she tramples some freshie and gets arrested.

All 7s slut machine: Sure thats why youll head over lol

Susie Q(ueer): Go back to Vegas, slut machine.

Piper: Speaking of Vegas, over/under on Chloe's head v lamppost?

Token heterosexual: I'm putting money on Chloe's head! It's denser than whatever modern infrastructure is made of.

Blindside bitch: Fuck all u bitches! (xcept u Kiki ur the best ilu <3<3<3)

Even though I was reading the chat, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. I believed it both a little more and a little less when I heard the smacking of sneakers against the pavement outside. "Hey! Hey Kiki!" I heard Chloe's voice. "Get out here and tell those bitches I didn't run into shit!"

The fact that an intimidating woman who tackled people (and possibly a much shorter intimidating woman who was also the coolest person I could imagine) was outside and willing to...happy to walk me home...

My stupid hands wouldn't stop flapping as I walked out the door.

[ouatnextgen]

Right Where You Left Me screencaps!

Some scenes from @hannahhook7744 and I's OC ouat au.

I tried to go in roughly timeline order.

Here's Graham and ten-year-old Silver at the tavern where Graham wrecked those attacking men

Penelope meeting her three "aunts," Lachesis, Atropos, and Clotho, for the first time

And just a few days later, Kiran goes to ask Pen about the spinning

Rowena aboard her brother's pirate ship. She's about three seconds away from stealing a rowboat

Tempest saving Rowena's ass from her siren teacher, who wants to eat her.

Will trying to convince the Merry Men to let Warren join

Silver and Ruby in wolf form, protecting Snow and David's kingdom from Black Knights

Rowena and Warren getting very hurt, but still cuddling #couplegoals

Kiran and his family while cursed

Silver, Granny, and Ruby right after the curse breaks

Idk, just Pen and Kiran being cute after the curse

These next two are two of a pair. Warren and Tempest finding out that their girlfriend's ex, Aris, is in Storybrooke...

...and this is the result. #couplegoals

[hulloitsdani]

Gather round children it’s time for a Ted Talk about FEH and how I go about drawing these characters.

When making art for this game, I have found immense satisfaction in attempting to meet FEH on its level and remain fairly loyal to the Intelligence System’s approved content we have. This is remarkably challenging. For me, at least. I find this game’s design sensibilities run very counter to my own. That’s not a critique of any in game art of the characters (although I do think they improve greatly over time) as they fulfill their purpose really well. They are meant to be drawn 4 times max which means they can go pretty crazy on the details. But hahahaha I’m not doing that. Clearly. I’m drawing these guys by hand at different angles and posses fairly consistently, which is just not what they were built for. Don’t think when someone designed Kiran they thought of the person who’d be drawing them chilling ontop of a fridge with a bottle of mustard in their hand, you know?

So naturally I got to do some translating! And that’s the really fun part >:]

There are many things I had to find creative answers for, like Kiran’s face and Alfonse’s stupid haircut. But the one rotating rapidly in my brain atm is the Askr quartet in combat. I wanted lean hard into the fact that these four are, well, very human in comparison to every other combatant that enters Askr. They aren’t exactly helpless nor unskilled. If any of the trio raised their blade at Kiran, they’d start digging their own grave themselves. But the group are regular soldiers fighting against straight up warriors of legend. As individuals, Anna, Sharena, Alfonse, and Kiran are not that strong in comparison. No merges for these bitches they gotta work with what they got. However, they all know that. So they make up for their weaknesses through terrifyingly effective teamwork. Through the power of trauma bonding- I MEAN FRIENDSHIP they become a fucking terrifying force of nature. It’s like pissing off an ant hill or a wasps nest. A lancer goes for Alfonse and suddenly theres a swarm of five level 1 heroes making such a distraction that they don’t see Anna’s axe sweep through their Achilles heels or Sharena’s follow up shield bash.

So this means I get to convey their team composition through their body shapes and give them clear strengths and weakness for the others to cover. Which is just so god damn FUN. Like we all know Kiran is the squishiest of the squishy, so it’s really fun to show just HOW squishy they are through the immediate comparison Alfonse and Sharena. I gave those two sturdier square shapes, and thus making them shorter yet stocky. This makes it look like they could fucking launch Kiran’s bony ass to the moon and back. However, that’s on the condition that either of them could catch Kiran, as their tall slim build implies the lightweight speed they move with. Which is so!!!! Fun!!!! Aughhh big love. Kiran could literal use Sharena as cover to snipe enemies from. Meanwhile Anna and Alfonse are a bit ahead using reposition to let Anna provide swift dps without getting too beat up herself. And by reposition, I mean Alfonse using his shield as a jump pad to launch Anna at the enemy with. You know. Just bro things. Anna’s triangle shapes make her both just hearty and lean enough to pull it off, might as well go for it. Just make sure she’s properly supported and safe by the time the enemy phase rolls around you know?

And I swear, the combos just write themselves too. Like between Sharena and Alfonse, a poor soul gets caught in the worst version of ping pong as Alfonse captain America’s his shield between the two of them. Kiran could then use that same shield like Link does and surf out of enemy range, shooting at the enemy the whole way. It’s fun! These guys have the potential to really sync up during combat and be emblematic of their bonds with one another.

Example, Alfonse. Alfonse could TECHNICALLY be a stronger solo fighter if he ditched the shield. He has the constitution and skill to not actually need the extra protection, and if he decided to two hand his weapon (haha there’s a joke there) the damage he could do would be devastating. However, the shield isn’t for his protection, but to be better help to his closest friends. The shield isn’t taking as many hits for him as it is for Kiran and Anna, who can’t afford to carry shields without compromising their own effectiveness. Plus through creative (and probably not intentional) uses it helps better position them on the battlefield. It’s for THEM. The only time he’s going to stop using the shield is when they aren’t there fighting along side him.

Enter Líf.

He hasn’t had a shield for a long time now.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Fighting for my fucking life. Similar to Luca, Kieran's hair color has been tormenting me for so long. Why? Bc characters Hop, Leon and recently Jacq. It was funny to think " oh haha, these guys are often mistaken for being related but their not" but over time Kiran's design started to bother me. A lot. So when I couldn't get what I needed from picrew, Gacha life came again.

His hair is still purple! Just much much darker. I realized that the plum color isn't exactly bright per say. I will say I miss his more vibrant hair color, but I think for my sanity it's probably better this way. His brown eyes I'm debating on switching for blue. I know I know, I am a big ass advocate for characters having brown eyes, but I felt that him having a different eye color could better contrast Danica's dark warm brown and Barry's bright orange eyes. But again, I'm not 100% sure on how I feel about it. Maybe switch his sister's eye color of purple for his brown? But I still want him to have something from his dad so. I dunno. Like I said, I am fighting for my life.

Will Kiran's name change? No clue lmao. Curse you Kieran, you got me thinking.

[thehellsystem]

TELL ME ABOUT UR OCS

GIGGLES Sosososo. Picture Hugo. Not as an image but like, as a personality. Give him so much money. THAT is Julian. An asshole with access to an ungodly amount of money. I created him at age ELEVEN so his backstory is a stew I have been brewing for five years. He has gained several scars since then, lost a leg, and undyed his hair. He also lost a pair of wings. He has existed in several universes. In DND, he's a tiefling bard. Who doesn't like to sing. Or play music. He has no idea why he is a bard, he just is. He's also a filthy rich prince. In Genshin Impact, he's a lawyer from Fontaine who sides WHOLEHEARTEDLY with Furina regardless of her fucked up ideology and obvious incompentence. In a modern au he's just. A law student. He's so tired. He spends his days studying the law and being a slut. He wakes up every day and does nothing but law and slut. And post about white girl shit on Instagram. He was a child actor once. In the bad direction. In all of these universes, he gets a fat sum of money from his dad just being rich. So he's filthy rich. My BOYFRIEND has an oc named Kiran and they are kissing. Right now. They have three kids in every universe. There is no universe where they are not sending each other death threats with little hearts at the end. He has FANGS and his boyfriend has tusks so when they kiss it's just a constant struggle of trying not to hit each other with their teeth. He IS the beauty standard. That is his y/n trait. I made him a beautiful gay twink and haven't ever looked back. He is a white man with brown hair and blue/purple eyes, women LOVE him and I can't do anything about it. I didn't even write this out. It just happened one day. He's the actor that acted in one of your childhood movies so you look him up to see what he looks like now and you go "Oh DAMN" He's not even an asshole on purpose, he just has no idea how anything ever works. He is the sheltered rich kid ever. His husband before they were husbands told him he played music in taverns for money and he was like "Well why don't you just... get money???" I've been obsessed with him for five years straight. One time he dated a pumpkin named Jack. He went from dating a pumpkin to dating a beautiful cub who has enough body to compress Julian inside of him. Vaccuum seal his ass. HE IS MISSING A LEG. Except in the dnd universe, where he just has a curse on his leg so he limps around like a wet cat. He did not tell his husband this until they were dating and he just casually took off his leg and his husband was like "ARE YOU OKAY???" He is the autistic gifted kid ever. He is a horsegirl. He's a necromancer who keeps reviving his horse from the dead because he loves his horse. He killed a man one time and the other party members were like "Are you gonna bring him back?" and he was like "...no I didn't like him." Unimportant to his entire backstory but in the first draft his mom threw him out a window. And that was kinda funny. But I had to take it out because I couldn't take him seriously with the knowledge that his mom threw him out a window.

[msweebyness]

Class of Heroes AU: Heroic Quotes

@artzychic27, I see you, and I raise you….

Thanks and credit to the above and to @imsparky2002! And to Disney for the quotes!

——

Marinette: It's going to take a miracle to get me into this school.

[Plagg’s shadow appears in giantic form and surrounded by flames]

Plagg: Did I hear someone ask for a miracle?! Let me hear you say "Ahhhh"!

Marinette: [in fear] AaAaah!

Plagg: That's close enough!

———

Adrien: [Mercenaries appear] Who's that?

Félix: They don't like me.

Adrien: [the castle guards appear] Who's that?

Félix: They don't like me either.

Adrien: [Maximus appears] Who's that?

Félix: Let's just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn't like me!

———

Alya: Listen here, missy. This stick in the mud has had to work two jobs her whole life while you've been sucking on a silver spoon, sitting on your lazy butt, in your - your ivory tower!

Chloé: [glances away] Actually, it's polished marble.

———

Nino: What in the world did I do with that magic wand? I-I was sure I...

Zoé: Magic wand?

Nino: That's strange. I-I always...

Zoé: Why, then you must be...

Nino: Your Fairy Godbrother? Of course. Now, where is that wand? I- Oh! I forgot. I put it away.

———

Security Fairy: Step aside, please. Random security check.

Denise: Random, my ass! You always stop me.

Security Fairy: I'm just doing my job. Name?

Denise: Lara Croft.

Security Fairy: Name?

Denise: Demolition Denise!

Security Fairy: And where you coming from?

Denise: Uh, the woods? From Nature Survival Class?

Security Fairy: Okay, then, where you headed?

Denise: Study Hall.

Security Fairy: Anything to declare?

Denise: I hate you.

Security Fairy: I get that a lot. Proceed.

———

Aurore: A lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face!

———

Ismael: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

———

Alix: [to Austin T.] I've been looking all over for you!

Austin T.: [whispering] What are you doing?

Alix: [whispering] Just play along.

Shopkeeper: You, uh, know this young man?

Alix: Sadly, yes. He is my brother. He’s a little crazy.

Shopkeeper: He said he knew the sultan!

Alix: [gesturing to Jalil] He thinks the monkey is the sultan.

Austin T.: [bowing to Jalil] O wise Sultan, how may I serve you?

[Jalil mutters gibberish]

Alix: Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done. Now, come along, bro. Time to go see the doctor.

Austin T.: [to a camel] Oh, hello, Doctor. How are you?

Alix: [through her teeth] No, no, no, not that one... Come on, Sultan!

———

Ondine: (Holding a fork) Have you ever seen something so wonderful in your entire life?

———

Young Mireille: What's a motto?

Alec: Nothing, what's a motto-with-you?

Theo: Nice!

Alec: Boom!

———

Nathaniel: Uh-oh.

Jean: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Nathaniel: Yep.

Jean: Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Nathaniel: Most likely.

Jean: Bring it on.

———

Kim: Guys, you gotta admit. That…was pretty heroic. (Falls flat on his face)

———

Marc: What is that amazing smell?

Marc/Kiran: Chocolate.

(Both laugh)

———

Bob Roth: Stop! You can't do this to me, you can't...

[Kim punches his face in]

Bob Roth: Fine, okay, well I deserved that.

———

Mylene: [to the doves] Want to know a secret? Promise not to tell?

[singing]

Mylene: We are standing by a wishing well. Make a wish into the well, that's all you have to do! And if you hear it echoing, your wish will soon come true.