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[limnsaber]

In the 1981 Star Wars Radio Drama, Luke Skywalker and his best friend Biggs Darklighter reunite on Tatooine for one last trip through Beggar's Canyon.

-------

Biggs: Well, they're right about one thing, Luke. The rebellion against the Empire is a long way from here. You know, I doubt the Imperials would bother with this system.

Luke: But I could've sworn I saw-

Biggs: Hey, c'mon, I'll tell you what, let's take a spin in that landspeeder of yours, huh? I'd like to take one last look at Beggar's Canyon, y'know, for old times' sake?

Luke: Sure Biggs. Boy, you should've been there the other day when we ran the canyon. Fixer started bragging about how 'he could do anything that Biggs could do,' you know, so I said 'hey if you're so smart why don't you try...'

Luke: ...yeah, and Fixer just pretended it never happened. Course, my Skyhopper's busted up pretty bad.

Biggs: Oh, I'm sure that made your uncle happy.

Luke: You have no idea. I'm grounded for the rest of the season.

Biggs: Nah, nah, you oughtta take it a little easier, Luke. I mean even if you are the hottest gully jumper this side of Mos Eisley, you keep it up buddy and one day, whammo, you'll be nothing but a dark smear on a canyon wall.

Luke: Hey, why'd you want me to come out to Beggar's Canyon anyway?

Biggs: Like I said, old times' sake. I mean, who knows when I'll be back this way, right?

Luke: I guess. Well, there it is, the old stone needle. You know, you can see practically the whole canyon from this part of the rim.

Biggs: Yeah. Hah, I don't know how I lived through all the crazy stunts we pulled down here.

Luke: I remember some of those. Boy, if we had the 'hopper now we could give those womp rats a surprise.

Biggs: Oh sorry, I am now valuable property. Keeping in mind the expense of cadet training, all graduates shall refrain from unnecessary risk-taking.

Luke: You? They happen to know how many stabilizer veins you bent up on the back stretch down there? Or how about the time you almost wiped out the stone needle?

Biggs: I figured it was better not to mention those to my piloting instructors.

Luke: Boy, it hasn't been the same since you left Biggs. It's been so... quiet.

Biggs: Hah, I'll bet.

Luke: Yeah, you were always number one around here, Biggs. You were the one who made things happen.

Biggs: Well it's a big galaxy, Luke. At the Academy, everybody was number one back where they came from. All of a sudden I was just a face in the crowd.

Luke: Yeah, but you made it, Biggs. You're going to see all those places we used to talk about.

Biggs: Yeah. Luke, did you ever wonder why we're friends?

Luke: Huh?

Biggs: The rest of them, back at Anchorhead, they'll never leave Tatooine. Maybe never get as far as Mos Eisley. Have you ever thought about that?

Luke: Well, not exactly like that I haven't.

Biggs: Fixer's just smart enough to know he's better off being a big noise in a small room. Camie's dumb enough to think she's made the prize catch hereabouts, and Windy's nothing but a follower and Deak's the follower of a follower.

Luke: But- what are you saying, Biggs?

Biggs: You will make it off Tatooine, Luke. And they know it. That's why they won't accept you.

Luke: Huh. Well, they're not so bad, I don't really mind them.

Biggs: Then how come you work so hard at being the hottest pilot around, huh? Hey-- did you see that? Off in the far side of the canyon.

Luke: What, where-- Sand People!

Biggs: You got your macros?

Luke: Yeah, right here.

Biggs: Yep, three banthas and it looks like five Tusken Raiders.

Luke: Yeah?

Biggs: They're moving out towards... the wastes.

Luke: Hey I'm supposed to keep a watch out for them at the farm, my uncle said that there have been some sightings around here, I should get back.

Biggs: I don't think its anything to worry about.

Luke: Well, that's a little excitement for your visit.

Biggs: You only think this planet's boring because you've never been anywhere else, Luke. Luke, I didn't-- I didn't come home just for a visit. If I don't come back, I wanted somebody to know.

Luke: What? Honestly, Biggs, will you stop being so secretive.

Biggs: Luke, I made some friends at the Academy. And one of them will be on the Rand Ecliptic with me. At our first port of call in the inner systems, we're going to jump ship and join the Rebel Alliance!

Luke: But that's crazy! You could wander around forever trying to find them-- look, the Empire can't even find them.

Biggs: Well if we don't find the rebels then we're going to do what we can on our own! I'm not hanging around to get drafted into the Imperial Starfleet. The rebellion's spreading, Luke, and I want to be on the side I believe in!

Luke: Yeah, and I'm stuck here.

Biggs: What? I thought you were going to the Academy next year.

Luke: I had to cancel my application. You know, the Sand People acting up again.

Biggs: C'mon, Luke! Your uncle could hold off a whole Tusken raiding party with one blaster. One of these days, buddy, you gotta separate what seems important from what is!

Luke: But the farm's just about to start paying off. Look, Uncle Owen needs me one more season. Biggs, I can't just run out on him and Aunt Beru now.

Biggs: Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, first it was Sand People and now it's the crop. Meanwhile, your application's been cancelled, Luke! Cancelled! Luke, listen to me. Your uncle uses that 'I fed you and brought you up' line to keep you here, can't you see that?

Luke: Biggs! My aunt and uncle the only family I've got, they're all I've got! And I don't care what you or anybody else thinks about me, I can't let anything happen to those two.

Biggs: Luke, I didn't mean-

Luke: Oh go on, find your rebellion! You don't think I'd like to leave? You think I like staying behind?

Biggs: I never thought that, Luke.

Luke: Well, that's how it sounded.

Luke: Here, I'll let you off by the power station.

Biggs: Thanks for the ride, Luke.

Luke: Yeah. Sure.

Biggs: Luke. Luke, I had a friend at the Academy. He used to help me through, the way I-- the way I used to help you. Just before graduation, I heard he got picked up during a round of Rebel suspects, and they said he died in interrogation.

Luke: You've changed, Biggs. You've changed a lot.

Biggs: I have been doing some thinking, Luke. But, uh-- but you're the same as ever. Hey, tell me, are you still keeping a lookout for that dream girl you used to talk about?

Luke: Hah, I'll know her if she passes by. Biggs, I'm sorry about what I said back there.

Biggs: Yeah me too. Hey, just, let's forget it.

Luke: Yeah. Will you be around long?

Biggs: No, I'm leaving on the morning shuttle.

Luke: Looks like there's a wind kicking up.

Biggs: Hm. Wind's rising all over the Empire, Luke. Even Tatooine will feel it. Sooner or later.

Luke: I guess... I won't be seeing you for a while.

Biggs: Oh, maybe someday. I'll be watching for you.

Luke: Listen, next season, I'm going to be going to the Academy for sure! No, I am, I am! Take care of yourself.

Biggs: So long, Luke.

Luke: Biggs?

Biggs: Yeah?

Luke: Do you really think those ships out there were just freighters?

Biggs: Well, not if you say they were firing, hotshot.

[naffeclipse]

Ok, finally I can sit down and write this!! XD

Ahhh, what a chapter! Lots of new info, a new routine is starting to set in, and we had a bit of a surprise there at the end!!

So first off, we have that slow testing of the waters that is now a little more hopeful and I love it! So much of this chapter had me smiling widely and made my heart melt at so many points!

Like, first of all how the hunter teases the boys for "showing off" hehe! And it got me thinking! Because it never quite occurred to me how much they must have been holding back physically! Obviously they were careful not to exhibit any obviously demonic features, but the fact is that they never really went beyond what an animatronic their size should have been capable of. Always kept at a speed that seemed possible for their form when y/n was paying attention. never did anything that seemed far out of their reach. And when those things must have been so easy if they could have just done it, I bet it got at least a bit tiring hiding what comes naturally for them. It must be so freeing to be able to truly be themselves now! And of course, if they get the chance to show off a little in order to impress their heart haha!

And Oh. My gosh. The moment when Moon was startled by the crossbow! It caught my attention because aside from losing y/n (physically or metaphorically), the boys have not really shown fear. They themselves admit it's not something they tend to feel. They're always on the lookout and not easily taken by surprise, but they could have encountered at least a couple hunters before the one in the cornfield. They know what happens during an exorcism so there must be some instinctual fear when it comes to a hunter's weapons. But even more than that, I wonder if this is similar to y/n's fear of them growing bored and deciding to kill them in the future. But the boys may have imagined worse scenarios in which the hunter decides they actually are a danger and decides to take them by surprise, an attack when they least expect it. Even if they don't truly believe something like that will happen (and they could likely tell because of the heartbeat), the thoughts might have lingered and the sound of the unhooked crossbow put them on edge. (And in some way, that does confirm to y/n that they do consider them a strong person. They have seen them slay other cryptids, after all. So just what would it look like if the hunter, unhindered by the panic and the trauma that came from a demonic encountered, decided to play the long game to hunt them)

But then! Then when y/n realizes what exactly is happening they use the same words that Eclipse used to calm them!! And God if that isn’t such a neat little reversal of the dynamic so far. A promise that despite being someone that could hurt them the must, they will not. And it’s also a way to show the boys they accept their earlier reassurances. Trust is barely building, but Eclipse has repeated “You are safe” as basically a plea. To give them a chance. To beg y/n not to reject them. To try and not to be the source of their distress. And now the hunter is sincerely using those words back. As an apology and a promise. As reassurance. It’s like a direct response to the times the boys said it and I love it so much! 

And ooooo we get a conversation about the doppelgänger! Oh I can just imagine now, what their point of view must have been a couple of chapters ago. Before the reveal, the cryptid’s words were just an inconceivable (at least when in denial) lie and its dying scream just a way to hurt and mock them. But then it turned into a reality. How close the expression it mimicked must have looked to reality. The brief chase through the gully an eternity as every hope they had of this working out fine seemed to be disintegrating. And even when the worst had passed, the next whole day they just had no certainty that they would be allowed to stay at all. None of them are happy that the doppelgänger was right about how the reveal would go, but as y/n affirms, that was then and now is now. At the very least, it’s yet another way in which the hunter can see Sun and Moon’s more complex being.

(sidenote: Moon then not even shifting when y/n handles the holy water!! He believes them! They’re safe and the water in the in their heart’s hands presents no more danger to them than the unloaded crossbow! That’s just giving me so many feelings! ;w; )

Oh ho! We also get some more info about the sacred rules! I have some theories about Paahlott but at this point they’re pretty vague for what we know XD I have to wonder how she was able to summon them and why they all agreed to the sacred rules. Maybe their views were all already aligned with what she proposed, since other demons like Shoh seem to hold no fondness for the innocence of children. The defenders of the sacred rules at least seem to rather enjoy and care for the little ones on their own accord, rather than just protecting them with indifference! Lots to think about! Oh and also, it’s so sweet how the boys talk about their family and how they are already considering who would love y/n immediately. It’s such a needed pinch of domesticity sprinkled over the wild last couple of days!

I am also so here for the reflections the hunter makes as they see their true form once again! Knowing that there is good to be witnessed among cryptids, but also knowing that means the sadism is so much worse from those that chose it. Because now it’s not a belief that cryptids are merely mindless and driven by instinct like animals. Some might be, but demons certainly aren’t. So it gives much more significance to both acts of kindness and malice.

And ooooooh that vow and the saltshaker comes up again! In the very next sense in fact! I’m just trying to think of what possible scenarios the hunter might find themselves in to consider breaking the vow. Maybe during an attack the only way to protect themselves would be a salt circle. Maybe, there would be no likely way to perform an exorcism without affecting the boys so y/n keeps them at bay and tries to do it themselves so that they can save Vanessa without risk of losing the boys, even if it places the hunter at great risk themselves. Hmmmm!

And DFKGHSKLÑ the almost kiss though!! Boys please! XD I know they are very eager but gotta slow down a bit there kjdhgfjh And it’s a bit funny but it makes a lot of sense y/n isn’t ready yet, because, even with all the demonic cryptid situation, they have very literally spent a lot of time alone before they met the boys. I bet they didn’t really try for a serious relationship after the incident of their past, and with the animatronic friend it probably didn’t cross their mind as a possibility so far (maybe it would have eventually, but it wasn’t happening soon XD) Now everything is out in the open, Sun and Moon basically confessed to them right after the reveal and the realization that they already have been living together and know and care for each other so much is hitting them in the face all of a sudden! It’s familiar but new, just like everything about the situation, so I can’t blame them for panicking a little haha! Like, that’s a whole kiss!

But aaaahhh then it leads to such a show of trust! ;o; Eclipse says “You are scared” and so the hunter does what absolutely shows that’s not the case. This is the heart eating demon. The one that caused them nightmares after they saw him destroying the rake and consuming its heart. And they show them. They might not realize it, just meaning to get them to listen more closely and tell them that it’s excitement, not fear, but it’s still very much placing all the sharp bits of this demon so close to them. The sharp grin right up to their chest. And knowing fully that they will not be harmed. The boys will not try to rip their heart out. They are allowed close. Closer than anyone else. Because the hunter wants and trusts them to be.

But ough then the pain of knowing what happened to Henry! ;O; He thought he was dealing with Bonnie! No doubt the others had spoken about him! So there must not be actual info about him in the book. I wonder if it was written before the cornfield demon found him. Or if maybe in the book there is research that could be helpful, although it could be misleading if it was lying all along. And oof, of course, that would bring back some doubts. The fate of Henry’s daughter was decided because he trusted the wrong demon. Who’s to say another couldn’t do the same? And ah, it aches but it’s actually a good instinct for y/n to keep it in mind. They are deciding to trust, but not blindly. They already did that and it brought a lot of pain, even if it also brought a lot of good. Now they are considering all the evidence, which tells them the boys are sincere, but they won’t let themselves fall into denial. That’s something their heart probably couldn’t take if they ended up being wrong after all.

And then we continue with Vanessa! Oh these GPS marks have me so intrigued. Is she asking for help and the demon interfering? Is the demon setting a trap? What in the world does it mean! Hmmmm. Aaaah, I’m so worried about her! Not only is she suffering a lot, but what Eclipse said about exorcisms doesn’t bode well for her. As a hunter she must have a lot of strength and will to live, but it must be very tough to remain strong after the sheer amount of time she has been possessed. She must be incredibly tired D: Hhhhhhh knowing how Deep Dreams ends reassures me a little but oooough I can’t help but think it would be just as likely a scenario that she doesn’t make it. And how sad it would be. For y/n, who has been fretting over her, having to do what they must to vanish the demon, but in doing so sealing their friend’s fate. AAAAA the suspense!

But that’s just something you are great at, Naff! You always keep us on our toes! X3

And talking about keeping us on our toes! Oh I just knew those three strangers were not just gonna be passingly mentioned but I didn’t expect FEI to suddenly decide they were actually gonna do something about this! I have so many questions about this organization. Surely, if they are affiliated to the Pizzaplex and knew of both the demon and the vessel (maybe even the makers of the vessel), then it wouldn’t have taken so long to confirm right? The hunters certainly knew what to look for. So why? Were they using y/n as a test for the boys? Were they expecting the demon to kill them and when that didn’t happen they sent someone to take care of it? Just what is their deal?

And oh my gosh when I say that as soon as the female hunter started talking I immediately thought of Cafaro XD And then I gasped and pointed at her name when it came up gñklfjhsgñhj Like hello! Glad to see you! Time to get punched again! Okay bye! You are so lucky that in this life y/n is not a vigilante ready to stab your heart, but a very kind, life-treasuring soul! (Though they do both have a knife when fighting her which is a fun coincidence XD)

(side note (wow only 2 sidenotes this comment kdfhjg) : also very interested in that seal! I know y/n threw it to the ground, but maybe if they find out what it is, it could be used to force the demon into a vessel different then Vanessa, if they can lure it out! Then use that to exorcize it!)

Ok, ok, last thing I wanted to comment on was Singh! Aaahhh it was a bit bittersweet hearing him talk. The fact that he was so genuine about it. He so desperately wanted to save y/n and was trying to be reassuring. Like, he doesn’t blame them from the start. And even if he doesn’t listen, he pays attention. He notices the hand on y/n’s shoulder and assumes it means they are not free to speak. But also he does not miss the way in which Sun is protective of them, although he doesn’t stop to consider it as the others keep pressing the matter. Then when he is holding the hunter, he keeps trying to tell them that they don’t have to be scared anymore! Because they might be resisting out of the fear of retaliation from the demon! Or just because they’re confused because of the possession! And then, when he’s the only one conscious, and he sees them getting away he pleads with the demon! To just let them go and not hurt them. That they don’t have to do this! And wow, of course that would resonate with y/n. We hear similar words in the vampire episode. The hunter wanted to free someone else from their perceived suffering. Pleading to let them help. Help them stop them from hurting others. It’s pure kindness. If it was hatred or fear he might have let them just go without bringing attention to himself and risk the demon’s wrath. But he chose what he had as a last attempt of what he thought was the right thing to do.

And then, when there is no reason for the cryptid to pretend, he hears them ask their question. And he doesn’t know the meaning of it. This is another reality that will accompany the hunter if they let Eclipse stay. Allowing this means losing their source of income (even if they are already well off), and the organization that facilitates their job. What they have been all this time will become 10 times harder. So the boys ask again if they are sure. And y/n does not hesitate. And Singh’s world has been tilted. He might soon deny what he heard as a trick, but the doubt has probably been planted! He’ll be left to think about it all. Three hunters faced off against a demon and though the demon won, none of them are dead after all. 

I… got a lot of feelings for this side character that reminds us slightly of the hunter huh? kfdjhglskdjfg

But well, that’s all I have for now! Awesome chapter like always, Naff! I am so, so excited for what comes next and I just know it’s gonna have me clutching my heart! <3

Chaotik, I've been rereading this over and over and I'm not normal about your thoughts at all aldsfjalsdfasfd

Oh yeah, the boys get to behave more like themselves now that Y/N knows! It's a weight off of their shoulders and one less stress to worry about. Also, Y/N likes it!

"So just what would it look like if the hunter, unhindered by the panic and the trauma that came from a demonic encountered, decided to play the long game to hunt them)" <<< The boys have seen Y/N slay cryptids, monsters, and it would break their non-existent heart to see Y/N with that set look, committed to the hunt, focused on them.

AHH YESSS! I'm so happy you took note of how much that means to the boys to hear Y/N say "You're safe." It's such a fundamental moment because, yeah, that's exactly what the boys said to them, but now, it's from them. They mean it. It's true. They're all safe!!!

The doppelganger was a ghost haunting Eclipse for all that time, but now that the worst has passed and Y/N affirms that it might have gotten one little detail right, it never told them about this. About things being okay. And they are okay ♥

Oh ho, I'm glad you like Paahlott and the little lore drops! You're right that the demonic cryptids who agreed to the sacred rules already held affection for little ones. It was for their kindness that Paahlott summoned them. Likewise, Eclipse always had a tender spot for children, and the sacred rules were a simple thing to bind themselves to.

Yes, some cryptids have sentient were others are more mindless/animal-like, but demonic cryptids are a special case, and noting that they can choose good and evil (relatively for cryptids) is another blow for Y/N and their past trauma. The cornfield demon really is a special kind of cruel, but to balance that out, there's Eclipse, who's a very special kind of caring.

I am eyeing your theories on the vow and saltshaker so hard rn hehehe

Ahahah, yup, this is very new for Y/N, and sudden. There's a reason Y/N was pretty obvious to a robot kissing their injuries better. Y/N wanted to show their own love and trust and very real, reciprocated feelings. Y/N is feeling a lot, but it's not fear for their dear friend.

"That’s something their heart probably couldn’t take if they ended up being wrong after all." <<< Keep that in your back pocket for later :)

Ahhhh, thank you, babe! I know I've been teasing Vanessa for so long now, but we're gonna see her soon. Real soon.

About F.E.I.—They knew Y/N was traveling with a demonic cryptid for a long time. Another thing about F.E.I. is that they don't tell their employees everything. That's why the three hunters were so concerned/angry about Y/N.

Ahahha, I love your reaction to Cafaro! She's a fan-favorite (very punchable alsdjflasdf)

Oh ho, that's the last time that seal appears hehe

Ah, babe, I'm so happy you like Singh! He was really important to write for this scene. A lot of cryptid hunters are in Y/N's same boat of experiencing cryptid-related trauma, and most do it for good reasons, even Cafaro and Rowe despite their rough demeanor in that situation. They're people. Good people. Singh was truly concerned for Y/N and to hear that maybe Y/N isn't in danger after all, around a demonic cryptid, changed everything.

There are going to be consequences with F.E.I., unfortunately, but Y/N has chosen Eclipse.

Ahhh, thank you, babe! I always look forward to your comments! They bring me so much joy! ♥

[zrtranscripts]

Season 10, Mission 5: Go West

A clone and a super soldier walk into a bar...

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Well, Ranger Five, that should be it, on the horizon. The base holding your namesake, Runner Five. A top secret Valmont facility in the Spanish desert. An entire prison dedicated to a single high-priority captive. That’s what it said in the intelligence we stole from Casablanca, but all I see is an Old West town. A single strip of wooden buildings. A saloon, a sheriff’s office. No signs of life.

I don’t know much about the American West, Five. They only had so many history texts on Red Scorpion Base. Sam once said they used to make cowboy movies in the Spanish desert. There must be old sets in this area. Sam knew a lot about movies. I hoped... one day I might get to watch some with him.

[Ranger Five’s implants whir]

Weeks of searching, Ranger. Weeks since we escaped Red Scorpion. All those Valmont decoys. The fake prison in Gibraltar. The false Fives in Tangier. This can’t be another dead end, it can’t be! What would the old me say, I wonder? Something megalomaniacal, I expect. I hear him sometimes in the night, Five, scolding foolish little Ernie for letting Valmont get ahead.

Valmont’s weakness is his flair for drama. That’s what the old Van Ark would say. His tendency for fancy. Just because he built a prison doesn’t mean it looks like one! See? Most of these buildings are wooden backdrops, but not the saloon. Its windows are all barred and sealed. Hiding a prison in plain sight surrounded by tumbleweed, that’s the sort of thing Brent Valmont would do!

You’d better get your implants ready for a fight. Runner Five’s imprisoned on that film set, I’d bet on it. It’s getting dark. We can use those wooden carts to cover our approach. Watch out for guards. There’s a hero waiting on our rescue. Run!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Here we are, Ranger Five. The saloon. It’s even got swinging doors. Sam’d love this, wouldn’t he? We’d best be careful. We don’t know what we’ll find inside, although... it’s strange we haven’t encountered a single guard yet.

[footsteps on creaking wood, piano plays]

I don’t understand. This place is deserted, but it’s certainly not a real saloon. Look at that thick metal door behind the self-playing piano. And the bar’s a computer terminal in disguise. [sighs] Hold on, I’ll hack the door. [computer zaps] Inside, Five. Quick!

[door opens, devices whir and hiss, chemicals bubble]

So much for the Old West. This is a laboratory! Centrifuges, robot arms, dissection tables, all fully automated. There! A cell door, in the corner. That must be where Runner Five is kept. Can you wrench it open? [implants whir, metal creaks, monitor beeps] A padded cell. One poor soul strapped to a gurney... Don’t worry, Runner Five, we’re here to - ! Oh. That’s... Not Runner Five.

PETER LYNN: Time for another robot checkup, eh, Brent? Got to top me up? Oh God! Oh, that’s Van Ark himself! That’s all I... [laughs] That’s all I need.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter Lynn! He’s unconscious. So many tubes connected to him. The immortal! He’s the priority prisoner, not Runner Five! [discordant piano chord, alarm blares] Damn! Can you carry Peter, Five? [implants whir] Please try not to hurt him when you unhook the tubes. There’s a back exit past the fume cupboards. Must lead up into the hills. We’ve got to get him out of here. Come on, Five!

~

[alarms blare in the distance]

ERNIE VAN ARK: Alright, Five. We’re out of the immediate danger zone. These hills and gullies will give us cover, but security can’t be far away. There must be guards somewhere. We need to keep moving. How’s our patient faring? Can you hear me, Peter?

PETER LYNNE: [gasps] Cold... So cold. Oh... no, no, no! Take me back!

[cloth rustles, metal clanks]

ERNIE VAN ARK: Don’t struggle, Peter, you’ll hurt yourself. Here, take my coat. [rocks clatter, zombies growl] What was that? A hand reaching out of the ground right where my foot was a moment ago. Zombies! Another one. Careful, Five. That one almost got your leg. We need to get Peter out of here before they surface fully. Quickly, run!

[footsteps in gravel]

PETER LYNN: What’s going on? Van... Van Ark? No, you can’t have me.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep a good hold on him, Five.

PETER LYNN: Get your metal monstrosity off me. I can’t be here! Jenny needs me.

[cloth rustles, metal clanks]

ERNIE VAN ARK: You won’t be doing anything for anyone if those zombies get you. Now, where have they gone? [rocks clatter, zombies growl] Up ahead, Five, clawing their way out of the ground. They must have burrowed under us. No time to evade them, Ranger. We’ll have to take them out. Put Peter down and fire.

[implants whir, zombies splatter]

Thank you, Five. These must be a variant of our Tunisian zombies. [footsteps] Oh no, Peter’s running away! I didn’t think he was well enough. He’s in no state to fend for himself out here. We need to get after him. Come on, Five!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Another Old West film set, and nothing but scrubby desert all around. Peter must be hiding in there. Keep your sensors hot, Five. [devices whir] There, slumped against that stagecoach. The adrenaline must have worn off finally. Peter, please do listen to me. We’re here to rescue you. Well... maybe that wasn’t the initial intention, but it’s certainly what we intend to do now. You have to stop running away! Let Ranger Five help you.

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] Your oversize Roomba can just keep its distance! I have had enough robotic hands inserting things in me for a lifetime! There are only so many curative substances one man can take, even me!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Curative substances?

PETER LYNNE: Which one was your favorite, Ernie? The one that blistered every inch of skin on my body? Or what about the projectile vomiting? Or – or that one where all my blood vessels ruptured at once, leaving me clinically dead for a week?

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, these experiments, these horrible experiments, they weren’t mine! I-I know what my other self did to you. Janine told me. I think it was the thing she was angriest about. But I’m not with Valmont. I was his prisoner, too! He destroyed the only homes I’ve ever known. Red Scorpion Base, my friends from Abel. He even killed Guillemette. And she was... kind to me, in her way. I saw him bragging about it in a Ranger’s files.

PETER LYNNE: I... don’t know what your game is. Maybe you are telling the truth, [laughs] I can’t tell! I think I lost touch with reality several experiments ago. You need to stop your walking Tonka truck stomping around like that. If you are who you say you are, I would get going while I still can.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Not without you.

PETER LYNNE: I have to say, [laughs] I’m surprised this latest batch is so mild. Uh, you know, I’ve had worse comedowns in abandoned warehouses in Manchester. Credit where it’s due, though, it certainly is... moreish.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Moreish? Has Valmont been injecting you with opiates? To make you dependent, I suppose.

PETER LYNNE: You know, a normal person’s first thought would have been to numb the pain.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh. Yes, I suppose it would.

PETER LYNNE: It doesn’t. Just FYI. Numb the pain, I mean. Oh, and as-as for the dependency, bit redundant if you ask me. Not like I have much choice but to stay here. [rock rumbles and clatters] Oh, [laughs] there’s my ride now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Burrowing zombies, more this time! We need to move before the whole street gives way! [ground collapses] Peter, Ranger? Is everyone alright?

PETER LYNNE: Oh, yep, never better!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Fascinating! We’ve fallen into some kind of underground tunnel system.

[zombies growl]

PETER LYNNE: And we’re not the only ones.

ERNIE VAN ARK: There’s zombies breaking through the walls. I thought they had human hands, but they’re actually more like huge blunt claws.

PETER LYNN: This is no time to admire monster design, Van Ark. Listen, I don’t much care if you live, but assuming you do, I suggest you follow me. I’ve been here before... and I know a way out, but we need to go now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: You heard him, Five. Run!

~

PETER LYNNE: Looks like we’ve lost them for now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: A chamber in the tunnels filled with Old West memorabilia. A sheriff’s hat, a gun holster, a giant cow’s skull. Wait. Not all of these are animal bones. That’s a human tibia with some flesh still hanging off it. It looks like it’s been... gnawed! Peter, what is this place?

PETER LYNNE: Ah, it’s just a cavern.

ERNIE VAN ARK: A cavern with claw marks on the walls that are a perfect match for those mole-like zombies and pits in the ground filled with more half-eaten corpses. I think that one’s moving! This isn’t a cavern, it’s a larder!

PETER LYNNE: I suppose you could call it that.

ERNIE VAN ARK: You brought us here deliberately! You wanted to be caught!

PETER LYNNE: Well, what was I supposed to do, trust you? Ernie Van Ark, action hero? Oh, forgive me if I don’t buy that from the man who ended the world!

ERNIE VAN ARK: And you allied with him from what I’ve heard! Why am I irredeemable, but not you?

PETER LYNNE: I don’t know! Uh, maybe both of us are, uh... But I can’t leave. The way out’s over there. I’m going this way, into the belly of the beast. Follow me or don’t follow me. I don’t care.

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: There he is, Ranger. Just standing in the center of a huge chamber surrounded by decaying, half-eaten corpses. He looks utterly without hope. Peter, please -

[intercom squeals]

BRENT VALMONT: Petey, Petey, Petey. If you’re hearing this, it means you’ve tried to escape again.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh no.

PETER LYNNE: Don’t worry, it’s a recording. I don’t even rate live surveillance, apparently.

BRENT VALMONT: You remember the rules of La Prisión de la DeLuca, don’t you? You stay put and let me try out my samples on you and I don’t cut off Janine’s fingers one by one and make you listen to her screams. Got it? Good! Now you enjoy the zombies hospitality and I’ll have someone out to pick you up ASAP. ASAPish, anyway. Only fair to let my undead security team have a nibble after the trouble you’ve given them. Oh, and uh, don’t try this again! Third strike, and Janine really will be out. Ta-ra.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, I escaped once before, but the zombies caught me. They’ve got a slow-acting strain of the virus, so they don’t need to feed as ravenously as your normal zom. They just bury you in a pit and pull bits off whenever they fancy a snack. It was... Days before the extraction team arrived.

ERNIE VAN ARK: So Valmont says he has Janine, and you just... believe him?

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] What choice do I have? If there’s any chance I can keep her safe -

ERNIE VAN ARK: No.

PETER LYNNE: What do you mean, no?

ERNIE VAN ARK: I won’t allow it. We came here to rescue a friend and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We can find Janine together. Runner Five, too.

PETER LYNNE: And if I don’t want to come, you’ll just kidnap me again, I presume.

ERNIE VAN ARK: No. If you stay, we stay, too.

PETER LYNNE: Oh great, very productive. We can all enjoy Brent’s lovely acid trips together!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Yes, except he won’t need you then, will he, if he has me? I can be his scientist and lab rat rolled into one. What do you think happens to you then? To Janine?

PETER LYNNE: You... [laughs] you wouldn’t.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Don’t presume to know what I would or wouldn’t do, Peter Lynne! You refuse to believe I’m on your side, so do you really want to risk Valmont getting his hands on me again? [zombies growl, rock clatters] Hundreds of burrowing zombies bursting out of every square foot of wall and ceiling. Decision time, Peter. Them or me.

PETER LYNNE: Alright, fine! That tunnel to the left, that’s the route Valmont’s men took the last time they hauled me out of here. It’s a safe passage to the surface. Follow me. Go, go!

~

[footsteps]

PETER LYNNE: [gasps] The surface. We’ve made it.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep running. These zombies tunnel at incredible speed. We’re not out of the woods yet. [zombie growls, rock clatters] To your left, Five! Claws bursting out of the ground.

PETER LYNNE: Up ahead, a whole line of them like an undead barbed wire fence!

ERNIE VAN ARK: We’ll have to jump them, then head for the river beyond. Ready, Ranger? 1, 2, 3, jump! [implants whir, footsteps, water flows] We’re over the river. Keep going!

PETER LYNNE: Wait! [laughs] Wait! [laughs] They’ve stopped following us.

ERNIE VAN ARK: The river must act as a natural boundary to their territory.

PETER LYNNE: Oh God... Oh God, what was I thinking? I can’t go on the lam with Van Ark! Janine...

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, you being locked up in that lab helps no one but Valmont. What do you think he’ll do to Janine once you’ve outlived your purpose, hmm?

PETER LYNNE: But when he finds out I’ve escaped -

ERNIE VAN ARK: Who’s going to tell him, the zombies? That message was prerecorded. He doesn’t know you’ve escaped yet. And he doesn’t expect you to actually try, not with Janine at stake. He won’t know you’re not in the zombies’ larder until he can get a recovery team out here. That will be two weeks at the earliest based on the map I’ve constructed of Valmont’s facilities. Find her before then, and Janine’s safe.

PETER LYNNE: All right... Say I trust you on that. What’s next? Do you even have a plan?

ERNIE VAN ARK: That recording, do you remember hearing anything in the background?

PETER LYNNE: I don’t know. Bird calls, maybe?

ERNIE VAN ARK: Several different species, if I’m not much mistaken. And more than that. There were waves, too, crashing against rock.

PETER LYNNE: So we’re looking for a seaside location that’s... popular with birdwatchers, or-or used to be?

ERNIE VAN ARK: There’s only one Valmont facility that matches those criteria. I’ve got the map here. Look, this island.

PETER LYNNE: Tabarca. That’s... really close. All right. Okay. I don’t know what Valmont’s drugs have done to me, or... how I’ll cope without them. But I can last until we get to Janine. I can free Jenny. And then nothing else matters.

~

[whoovesnassistant]

Skit Contest Entry 17

“Bubbling Awake” - By Queen Tut

Cheery opening tune, much like the opening to Domestics. Music from that episode or others could be reused for this purpose if it suits the editor.

Derpy *frustrated murmuring* Bedsheets and pillows brush together harshly as a body moves about within them, restless and desperate. Derpy What I wouldn’t give for some shut eye right about now. Gully Glub Glub. Derpy Ugh, you said it Gully! More pillows and sheets moving. Objects around Derpy clatter as the springs of the bed emit a small crunch, indicating she’s pulled herself halfway out of the bed. Derpy What time is it… Something slides against a wood tabletop. Derpy *alarmed* 2:30? Oh no… have I been moving around for the past five hours? Gully Glub Glub. Derpy Ughh… A pillow audibly flops on the floor before the mattress springs crunch for a final time as Derpy fully rises from the bed. Derpy Glad to know you’re okay, Gully. Want a scratch from the fishy stick? Gully *enthusiastic* GLUB GLUB! Derpy *laughs* Okay. Lemme go get it. Objects clink and clatter. Derpy seems to be looking for the stick. Derpy Wha? It-it was right here? What did I… More objects move about as Derpy descends into mumbling. Derpy Why would somepony take it? I know the Doctor can be nosey, but he wouldn’t take it, he knows better! Gully *sad* Glub Glub…

Derpy

*whines with pity for Gully* Wait… Oh! Tick Tock!He was looking around for sticks and tools all day yesterday! I bet he knows where your sticky is!

Derpy’s hooves (pun?) clap against the tile floor. Derpy I’ll be back for you, Gully! With the princesses as my witness, you will get the stick scritches! Gully *neutral* Glub. Door creaks open. Derpy stomps out. The hoof-clap sounds change as she enters the more metallic clang of the TARDIS’S main room. She comes to a door and opens it. Derpy Hello? Tick Tock? There is silence. Derpy Huh. He must still be in the workshop. Derpy’s hooves clap against metal and a different door opens. Derpy Tick Tock? Tick Tock Agh! ??? Mrew! Tools and equipment clatter, much of it falling to the ground. Tick Tock Oh, Derpy, thank goodness! It’s only you. ??? *relaxed* Mreeew… A small ambient humming noise comes from the mysterious meowing creature. Derpy Tick Tock… why is there a glowing cat on your head? Objects settle near the unicorn before he responds. Tick Tock That is a long story. Though since you’ve awakened, perhaps you can assist in solving a perplexing mystery? Derpy Oooh! A mystery? That sounds so exciting! What is it? Cat Prrr… Tick Tock Uhhh… UH! It’s doing it again. This feline seems to bear strange hypnotic properties. The vibrations are prone to lulling the victim into a partial trance. The creature does not behave in a hostile manner, but I can’t pinpoint the purpose of this technique. Tell me, Derpy, does this animal appear predatory in nature? Cat Mrow? Tick Tock’s magic is whooshing, presumably from levitating the Cat. Derpy *laughs hysterically* Tick Tock… don’t be silly! It’s… a cat! She’s just purring because she likes you! Tick Tock *hesitates* What? Cat *sweetly* Mew? Mrow? Prrr… Derpy Awww!!! She’s a sweetie pie, isn’t she? Tick Tock Derpy, how were you able to identify the creature as female so easily? Derpy I dunno, I can just tell. She’s all black and ginger all over, those ones are always girls! I’d know, my momma loves feeding stray cats. Tick Tock’s horn whooshes again Cat MROW! Derpy Aww! Okay, kitty. I can give you scritches too. Cat Prrr… White noise comes from the cat again. Derpy Wow, you really are a glowing cat. Oh my, did something happen to her eye? Tick Tock It’s gone. I found her like that. Derpy *gasp* Oh no… What kind of awful pony would leave her all alone like th- *cuts off* Tick Tock *winces* The unicorn shifts his weight audibly. Afterwards it becomes quiet enough to hear a pin drop (though no pins actually drop it’s just a metaphor). Derpy Tick Tock… What happened to your leg? Tick Tock Wha… What do you mean? Derpy You know, the one covered in bandages? Tick Tock Oh, this? I just cracked a hoof is all. Nothing of concern. There is another silence. Derpy When’s the last time you’ve slept? Tick Tock *hesitates then mumbles incoherently* Derpy Did you sleep… at all? Tick Tock *prolonged hesitation* Negatory. Derpy Tick Tock! Tick Tock I have been preoccupied. Derpy You shouldn’t do that, it’s not good for you! Cat Meow! Derpy See? Even the kitty agrees! Tick Tock *murmurs* Derpy *sigh* I need to borrow Gully’s stick back. Will you please let me take you to bed? I’m worried for you. Tick Tock *hesitates longer than ever* Okay. Derpy Good. Now let’s go. Noise indicating time skip. Pillows and bedsheets move against each other with soft sounding friction. Derpy There. Isn’t that better? Cat Mrow… Sound of kneading cushions blends into the scene. Cat Prrr… White noise indicates the cat is glowing again. Derpy Oh, I didn’t think of the glowing. Is that gonna be okay? Tick Tock *thoughtful* I… do like it better than total darkness. Cat Prrr… Derpy *wistful* She’s so sweet. We should keep her around. Tick Tock *sleepy* Maybe… Derpy I’m gonna lay with you. Tick Tock Oka- *cuts off* There’s a loud thud and the screeching of swaying bed springs. Derpy *relaxed* Ahh… Is this okay? I don’t want to be in your space. Tick Tock *soft chuckle* No worries. There is a silent pause. Tick Tock Your mane. It’s so… soft. Derpy It’s getting too long. I want to cut it. It’d be nice to have a bob but those can be really hard to do with your own hooves. Tick Tock Maybe… I could help? Derpy Really? You mean it? Tick Tock Of course I do, Derpy. Derpy Oh, Tick Tock. You’re so sweet. Thank you. Tick Tock *hesitates* I should be thanking you, Derpy. Derpy Hm? Tick Tock shifts in the bed. Tick Tock Ever since I came on this TARDIS, you have done nothing but care for me. You and the Doctor are the only ponies… well, only creatures for that matter, that I never had to prove myself useful to in order for them to care. Thank you. There’s silence as Tick’s words sit in Derpy’s head. Derpy I’m gonna hug you now. Crunch sound effect as Derpy hugs him. Tick Tock Mpf. Soft squish sound as Tick Tock hugs her back. Tick Tock These hugs might actually be better than peaches. Derpy *sigh, relaxed* Yours are pretty good too, Tick Tock… Yours are pretty good too. Scene fades out as skit ends.

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 2 - Wrap Up

OMG!

Yes OMG! What does this mean? It means you are either a "Brett" or "Scott" putting up major numbers and are feeling pretty good about yourself - or you are a "Dana" or "David" and you are in panic mode. If you happen to be neither of those you are what I call "the lucky ones". Of course, everyone is just happy football is back but with all the injuries and all the upsets - it's for sure making the start of the fantasy season interesting!

WHAM BAM THANK YOU LAMB vs HOWARD

I was going to blame this week on Josh Allen, then I was going to blame it on Scott Krippayne because he took my Chargers waiver wire pick, then I was going to blame it on my opponent, Rob Howard....but then I realized - that it's nobody's fault except mine that I lost last week and this week. I am a loser to the core. Rob is great fantasy football manager. He knows how to draft, he knows how to win championships...what does David Breen know how to do...order a Brisket from Hogwood and make his wife cook all day once a year. That's it. So, congrats Rob. You deserve all you are receiving this year as do I.

MOOSES ON THE LOOSES vs FUNK GUY

A win does the heart good...but for Mitch who had a heart "attack" two wins is extra special. Maybe they put something special in his heart that has made him a changed man or maybe he just played two very unprepared individuals in week 1 and week 2. We have all seen Dana's text this week about how he is a disgrace to our league and it's going to be interesting to see what he does to turn things around...after all 66 points is a tough thing to come back from. Nice win Mitch. Let's see how you do next week against your good friend Bebo!

LONG LEFT BALLERS vs TuPADRE

I know Gully won, and Bebo lost - and it was all fair and square...I just feel like Gully dodged a bullet on this one. Such low numbers for Bebo this week from White, Kupp (out for an extended period), Pickens and Kelce - I just can't help but think if just 1 or 2 of these guys showed up Gully would be 0-2 instead of 1-1. Oh well. If I am being really honest I didn't have too much to say about this match up but this GIF was so good I had to use it so I made this shit up about "dodging"....Nice win Gullahorn!

LANAKILA vs TREE HUGGERS

What is going on? Last week high point was 131...this week Scotty K throws up a 168? Is this what the year is going to be like? And poor Cliff who has an amazing week but doesn't get the win, money or any recognition....that's always tough. To pay tribute to Scott's impressive high point - lets highlight a few of the key players he had this week...Kyler (34.5), Hall (17.4), Devonte Adams (22), Metcalf (23.9), Dobbins (24), Prater (kicker 14) and my chargers defense (19). Amazing. Nice win Scott ($20).

TRADE WITH ME vs BOOMER SOONER

And, with our close call game of the week we have Brett vs Stu. After Sunday Trade with Me was at 127.68 and Stu was at 127.24. Stu was done and still had Kyle Pitts to play. So, technically Brett already had it won but Stu was holding out for that negative 5 yard loss and then a broken leg. Which is a tough ask any time. In the end Pitts but up less than 1 point so it really was close! Brett walks away with win number 2 and another high scoring week. Stu moves to 1-1 and puts a bunch of points in his column toward wild card assurance. Also - Brett, bet you are loving that auto pick was on for that Kamara pick now!

MR AWESOME vs RIDLEY ME THIS

What have we here? A new name, a new look and a win for Kyle Allmendinger. Nevermind that he had to change his name because most likely Tua is gone and Nacua is out for an extended period. Given those two scenarios I guess there is not much reason to matata anymore..so he is now Ridley Me This. I will say Ridley did get him a win over the Gabe Scott who now has a Q on Justin Jefferson (after he put up 24 points) and a Q on Rachaad White...so Gabe is in murky water. Congrats Kyle! Nice win.

SURVIVOR

If I just would have taken the Chargers everything would be over...I would be the survivor champ...but it's still me, Gabe and Stu. On to week 3.

CHEERLEADER OF THE WEEK

#DallasCowboysCheerleaders2024

[arosebyanyothername2016]

April Won

Alright April show us what’s on “tap.” Right-left-right cha cha cha. March is a wrap. Let’s do the hokey pokey. Double down and bet the store. We ‘ll turn on the victrola. And dance across the floor. A little twist and hully gully. If that’s what it will take. Then we’ll lindy hop and jitterbug. No more dancing just in place. Hit the ground and sprint ahead. Add input to affect a…

[drchenquill]

Storm

Sophie never liked storms. The pattering on the windows, the cloudy sky. She wasn't afraid, she never flinched when thunder roared through the sky. Nor was she frightened when there was lightning. Her feeling towards storms could almost be described as hatred. Storms were like a cage for nature-loving Sophie. No walks, no scurrying around the garden and tending to her flowers, just sitting somewhere and hoping it would be over soon. Waking up and hearing the rain pattering down as if it was sneering at Sophie's fate was not a good morning. She forced herself to get up and cursed quietly all the way to the bathroom. Sophie had a lot planned for today. A walk in the morning, then coming home and going into the garden and then, in the afternoon, she and Nathan had planned a picnic in the park, but everything was flowing down the gullies with the rain. Nathan was Sophie's boyfriend. They had been together for a month and Sophie was more than happy with him. He was a sunny child and could always make her smile, but unfortunately the plans with him had flopped. Sophie made no effort to freshen up on this stormy morning. She tied her dark curls into a tousled bun as she wiped the sleep from her face. When she looked in the mirror, she saw the irritation in her grass-green eyes. She dragged herself into the kitchen and started brewing her coffee. It was quiet in the room, the only thing you could hear was the rain and the hissing of the coffee pot. Sophie was irritated. She was grumpy and nothing could change that. She also had to let Nathan know that their day was canceled and that made her even more annoyed. She didn't like disappointing him, but that was exactly what this storm was forcing her to do.

She went into the living room with her coffee and threw herself onto the couch. She reached for her cell phone and tried to find the right words to cancel the date when the doorbell rang. Sophie got up, even more irritated than before. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The first thing she heard with a furrowed brow was the loud rain and thunder in the background, but then a smile crept onto her lips as she realized who she was looking at. Bushy red hair stood out from under the soaking wet hood. Steel blue eyes gazed down at her, while a sugary sweet smile adorned the freckle-filled face. "Nathan." she said delightedly, stepping aside so her boyfriend could step inside. She quickly closed the door so she could go back to forgetting what a shitty day it was. "What a morning, huh?" he commented with a laugh, taking off his wet jacket. He also had a backpack with him, which he casually slipped off his shoulder. "A wet morning." Sophie said, but quickly added: "What are you doing here anyway? I was just about to call you." Her voice betrayed her sadness over the broken date. Nathan tapped his temple and said, "I figured as much, but I come prepared." He opened his backpack and pulled out a bottle of red wine. "Picnics don't have to be outside," he said with a grin. "Here?" Sophie asked excitedly. "You can bet on it. Now shoo, go and freshen up, I'll pick you up in ten minutes for our date." Nathan said and winked at her. Sophie blushed slightly and scurried off with a smile.

The bad mood was blown away when Sophie came back into the living room, changed and fresh, and saw what Nathan had prepared. He had moved the couch and spread a blanket on the floor. The picnic had been set up on it. The homemade sandwiches, the red wine, open and poured into two glass cups, while he smiled proudly at her and approached her. "You look lovely," he said to her with an enamored smile. Sophie had put on what she would actually have worn on the date. A short, dark blue summer dress. She had made herself look presentable and left her hair down. Nathan leaned down and gave her a tender kiss, which she returned without hesitation. "Shall we?" he then asked her and led her to the picnic. "You really are a sweetheart, Nathan." Sophie said as she sat down on the blanket. "'One does what one can." he replied with slightly flushed cheeks. Sophie grabbed her glass and Nathan did the same. They smiled at each other and both took a sip. She could hardly be happier and she showed it by snuggling up to Nathan. Cheeks slightly rosy, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. It was storming outside, the sky was dark, but Sophie had her sun with her.

(written and translated into english by me~)

[salmonberrypj]

Interview With a Raindrop

[Interviewer]: And joining us as our next guest, allow me to welcome... a raindrop!

[Crowd cheers]

[Interviewer]: Welcome to the show, raindrop! I gotta say, you're looking great tonight!

[Raindrop]: Aw, really? You mean it?

[Int.]: Every word!

[Rain.]: Well thank you! I don't hear that a lot, at my age.

[Int.]: I hope this isn't too private of a question, but I'm sure our audience would like to know - how old are you, actually?

[Rain.]: Oh, I'm as old as they come. I'm as old as the rocks that sleep deep beneath, creeping up to recycle for a couple million years before they melt into a smooth snooze again. I'm as old as the old ocean, before this one, that mostly floated off into space. I'm older than the Moon. I'm older than the rain.

[Int.]: And was that your first gig? The first rain?

[Rain.]: Ah, yes, we played so well in that one. I remember how we played for centuries, filling oceans, and submerging forever all the deepest cracks and hollows where the darkest creeping creatures used to hide. It was a sold-out show, I think. You never heard anything like it.

[Int.]: I bet! And you've been touring quite a lot since then, haven't you?

[Rain.]: I have! I've gotten to see some amazing places. Aquifers, avalanches, inside airplane window-panes. Antarctica. Agents, peddlers, and also solicitors. Petersburgs & Pacifics Northwest. Every crinkling frond of every Carboniferous fern. Bodegas in bromeliads with frogs bartering bugs. Sinks, soups, streams. Salty water and saltwater. I've played everywhere there is to play.

[Int.]: And, besides that one first rain, what's been your favourite so far?

[Rain.]: Well, this morning I landed on one of your audience members' heads in the shower. Don't worry, I won't say who. But I thought they were so lovely, I gave them little kisses all down their forehead.

[Crowd goes 'aaaw']

[Int.]: That's very sweet! I have heard, though, that some of your fans are a bit disappointed, because there's been some rumours that you were involved in that tropical rainstorm last month, you know, the one that destroyed several houses. Care to address those rumours?

[Rain.]: Oh, yes, I was a part of that storm, and it was pretty dreadful.

[Int.]: Really? Do you wish you hadn't been?

[Rain.]: I don't. I'm a raindrop, see, and raindrops can't wish otherwise, because we have only one path to take. We can't hope or hop-options, as humans often opt to. It's one of the things I admire so much about you - you can choose things, and you frequently do. Like that rescue crew, after the tropical storm. But raindrops, no, not us. We have a pretty strict manager.

[Int.]: And who is that manager? God? Physics?

[Rain.]: Yes, very much. She goes by lots of different names.

[Int.]: Well... there you have it! We're running out of time, so I have just one more question for you. Where can your fans go to hear more of your work?

[Rain.]: That's a good question! Gullies, sometimes. Gutters, especially over rocks, or the kind that pour out into the yard. Gargoyles are a particular favourite. Misty forests are good, or mountain fjords, or mighty floral broadleafs. The storm drain, when it gets clogged up. The blood in your ears, when you're mad. Two single tears, one hitting the pillowcase after the other. We don't do deserts much, yet, but pretty much anywhere else you get your music.

[Int.]: Thank you very much for your time, and I hope you have a great night. Next up, we'll be interviewing only five of the 3.348 million people in Mongolia, and after that? Well, we'll get there when we get there.

P.J.

[eponastory]

TELL MY HEART TO BEAT

Chapter 8 - Black Night

This is the final chapter of the story! Evan will return in one shots and possibly in the future with a story I'm working on right now involving Dante and Vergil's return from the Underworld...eventually. I'll definitely post some stuff that happens between this story and DMC5

There was something poetic about a moonless night in a snowy forest. It set the perfect imagery for some of those books that Patty always went on about. Dante bet that those books never included jet black wolf-like demons with an appetite for human blood in them. This would probably make for a best seller in the horror genre, no questions asked.

The snow crunched under his boots as he came out of the gully, ready for a good fight. As long as he had the demon's attention, Evan was out of harms way. Said Demon was walking around with its nose to the ground, whining as it scraped the layers of snow away. Maybe demons were not so far removed from animals, although this one was sniffing for blood.

Dante could see the silver eyes of the demon glowing from where he stood. Its massive form blended in with the darkness, only outlined by the snow sticking to the bark of the trees. This black demon was much bigger than the white one he had defeated earlier. It was not as bulky looking, either.

He had a feeling it was searching for any trace of its mate, which was currently in devil arm form. Trying to explain that to an enraged demon was going to be a little fun. He was more surprised that the huge black mass had not spotted him yet, but he could remedy that. There is no better time to pick a fight than the present, and boy, did he want to have it out with this monster.

Rebellion hummed as Dante pulled the sword from its place on his back. The sword glinted even in the darkest of nights, possibly from starlight alone. He readied himself for what he was about to do. Taking a fighting stance with Rebellion swung out behind him. Dante whistled low to get the attention of the wolf like demon.

All at once, it stopped, picked up its head with ears perked and eyes right on the demon hunter. Even if it was a demon, Dante could swear it behaved more like a dog than anything else. Its silver gaze picked up on Dante's movement.

"Yeah, that's right... come and get me." He said as the beast snarled after picking up his scent. "Let's get this over with." He put on a hard gaze. This time, he was serious. There was much more at stake than having a little fun.

The beast let out a howl before charging at Dante. The half devil stood there in its path as it ran towards him, knocking over trees and moving earth. The ground beneath Dante's feet trembled from the oncoming demon, almost enough to rock his stance a little. However, his feet were planted firm as he waited for the great beast to get within range of Rebellion's edge.

What the hunter had not expected was for the demon to turn into a shadowy mist before reaching him. It caught Dante off guard as he had not anticipated this sort of trick. Instead, just as he turned around to look behind him, the demon reappeared in the direction it came from. He was barely able to move out of the way when its giant maw came snapping at him.

"Nice trick!" He slammed Rebellion's sharp edge onto the wolf-demons snout, creating a large gash. The beast made a sound of pain but never backed down as its silver eyes locked on to the hunter. "Don't you do it!"

Dante jumped back as the beast snapped at him again, this time with a swipe of its massive paw right behind it. The demon was fast, but Dante was faster. He jumped up in the air with the intent on slamming down with Rebellion, but he was yanked out of the air when the demon clamped its jaws around his right ankle.

The next second had Rebellion flying out of Dante's hand as the demon shook him around like a dog with a snake in its mouth. The wildness of it all had his head spinning from the force. His body was basically a rag doll at this point, and he was a hundred and ten percent done. He managed to gain enough control of his body in order to pull Ebony and Ivory from their holsters.

"I'm done with this shit!" He managed to haul his torso up against the force of gravity and bury the barrels of his guns into the flesh of the demons snout. As soon as he did, the silver eyes landed on him, and the creature stopped moving. "Yeah, I got your attention now, bitch." Dante did not think twice before pulling the triggers, causing the demon to open its jaw.

He landed on his feet as the black beast pawed at the sting left by his guns. This demon was putting up more of a fight than the last one. He fired Ebony at the demon while he looked for Rebellion in the snow. He could feel the swords hum as he got closer, managing to see it impaling a tree. Well, it could be worse.

Dante pulled the sword from the tree just as the demon was back on his heels. He could see how it managed to lift up a car and toss it in the air a quarter of a mile now. He swung right as the demon ran by him, managing to make a good-sized nick in its right foreleg, but not enough to bring it down. Instead, the beast simply spun around before coming to a stop, knocking over trees in the process. Then, it disappeared in a black mist again.

The devil hunter stood on guard as he listened for any sign of the beast. The demonic power inside of him was boiling as he was getting fed up with this game. Just as he was about to say 'screw it' he was grabbed at the waist by the demon's flying head. The rest of its body was black mist as it sideswiped every tree and rock it could find, bashing Dante's head against all of it. If he had no trouble with pain before, this was certainly giving him a headache.

Right as he was about to make contact with a large boulder, he finally decided to let his inner demon out to play. With a frustrated yell, he triggered right as his head met with the boulder. This did not do any damage to him, but the boulder did not fair so well as it burst into pieces. The demon had not expected this as Dante was able to reach in its mouth and rip out its tongue in one moment.

This not only made the large demon materialize its full body, but it rendered its jaw useless as the muscles that controlled it were ripped out with the tongue. Holding it up in front of the slack jawed demon, Dante tossed the tongue in the air before slicing it to pieces in the blink of an eye.

Then, it was over as he launched himself at the demon with Rebellion held out in front of him. The blade found its target between the silver eyes of the wolf-like creature, ending it. It's body fell limply to the ground, causing the earth to shake and the trees to drop loads of snow around him. He stood on the beasts snout for a moment as his demon form disappeared leaving him breathless.

"Bad dog." He said before jumping off as the body started to disintegrate into the air leaving a silvery orb behind. "Another one?"

The orb grew bright as it formed into another sword the same size and style as the last one, only with a black wolf devouring the blade. He had no intention of keeping this blade either, but a thought crossed his mind that made him change his intention. Maybe he will hang on to the two blades for the time being.

The blade was sticking up out of the snow, beckoning to the other one in his possession. Fine, they were a matched set, so he picked the newest blade from the snow and added it to the ever growing arsenal he held within his half demon soul.

Now all that was left was to get back to Evan, who was likely terrified and freezing. Not only did he want to get back to her, he also wanted to leave this damn forest as soon as possible. Going home never sounded so good as it did then and there. Dante was determined to bring Evan home with him.

He caught his breath before heading back to the gully where his daughter was. Despite being a powerful half demon, he felt exhausted, maybe because there was nothing left to fight. That or it was over, so there was a sense of relief. Either way, he ran back to Evan as fast as he could, coming up to the deep trench in the ground.

There, Dante could barely see her curled up in a ball with her hands over her ears. She was crying, which brought up a memory that he really did not want to think about at that moment. It was a time when he was both confused and terrified, so seeing her go through it hurt him deeply.

Jumping down, he slowly approached her shaking form and set Rebellion down before crouching in front of her. She had her eyes squeezed shut as tears cascaded down her pale face. It broke his heart to see her like this, to see her trying to shut out the world in fear. He removed his gloves on instinct, somehow believing that his touch was more effective if it was not hindered by leather. He set them down before gently placing his bare hands on her wrists to remove her hands from her ears.

As soon as Dante's hands made contact with her wrists, she opened her eyes and shifted her tearful gaze to his. Even in the dark, she knew where to look. There were no words said when she moved forward in an instant, wrapping her arms around him. Dante was not expecting her to latch on to him, but it was welcome. He slowly closed his arms around her, his left hand cradling her head and the other hand going to rub her back as she cried.

Evan was tiny for an eleven year old, just like she had been tiny as an infant.

She cried and cried. All the while, he resorted to falling against the rocky wall and leaning against it while he held his daughter. She was so small and fragile compared to him, but at the same time, she was strong enough to have survived the wild as she had. He was both proud and horrified that she had come through it all in such a state. He never noticed how poor her state was until he could feel her spine through the coat she wore.

"It's okay, I've got you." Dante had no idea what he was doing, but he was completely relying on the paternal instinct that resurfaced after learning Evan had been out in the forest by herself. "I've got you." He held her close as her sobs calmed down.

"Is it dead?" Her voice was muffled as she put her face into his chest.

"Yeah, it's dead." The hunter loosened his hold on her so they could both relax. "It's not going to bother anyone ever again."

"Good." She backed away so she could sit next to him and let out a shaky breath as she leaned against his side. He sighed as he let his shoulders drop in exhaustion.

"I don't know about you, Princess, but I'm sick of this place." He grabbed his gloves and put them back on before standing up. "Come on, let's go home." He held his hand out to her and she grabbed it.

By the time they reached the road, the sun had barely started making its way above the horizon. It's rays were warm when it hit Evan's face as her father carried her down the road. There were no words to describe the feeling she had as Dante brought her out of the forest after a long and miserable battle of survival. She knew things would never be the same from this point forward.

"Dad?" She had decided that having him in her life was better than being alone. He looked slightly shocked that she called him that, but then he smiled softly as he looked at her.

"What?" He turned his gaze back to the road ahead of them as he walked.

"Thank you... for coming find me." She leaned her head on his shoulder as he gave her a squeeze.

"You never have to thank me for this." He told her as the warmth of the sun began to heat the cold air. "There is not a single thing I would not do for you." It was the truth. Whether he could live up to those words was entirely on him, but in that moment he would do anything and everything to protect her and give his all doing it.

"Does this mean I'm going to stay with you?" The all important question that he was waiting for since he found her.

"If you want to." Probably a bad idea, but he was sure as hell going to try and make it all work. "I can't promise much in the way of fancy clothes or things like that, but I can promise an endless amount of pizza and strawberry sundaes." He smirked at her when she looked at him confused then her face hardened.

"Let's be real, Dad... anywhere is better than where I was." He could not agree with her more. Her grandparents obviously did not care what happened to her so that left him with only one choice.

"Okay, if you say so." He cleared his throat and then got serious. "But, here's the deal. I have no idea what I'm doing other than offering the basics of food, shelter, and water so you're gonna have to cut me some slack." He knew he was going to mess up, that was a given. He had a record of failure a mile long when it came to personal relationships, but hopefully his relationship with his daughter would be different. "I'll try my damnedest to be the dad you need. I promise."

"You're doing good so far, even though I don't know what a dad should do... really." She had lived without him or any other father figure up until this point. He had lived without his father for most of his life and had no experience with kids other than Patty. Oh well, they would figure it out.

"We'll be okay, Princess." He told her as they walked down the road into a new part of life.

[mumbaicricket]

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[highpressurephotography]

JULY 17-19, 2014 – FORBIDDEN W. RIDGE

After a long backpack excursion into the Pasayten Wilderness, I was eager to haul heavy loads up to an alpine climb and feel the excitement of exposure beneath my feet. After much weather checking and beta reading, we decided that the short drive up to the Boston basin trailhead and an attempt on Forbidden was our best bet. The weather forecast for the 17th and 18th were superb, with a system coming in on the 19th. Our plan was to hike into camp on the 17th, climb on the 18th, and then simply walk out, likely in light rain, on the 19th. If that was our plan, we did stick to it, though… it’s probably assumed that we meant to actually get back to camp and sleep before walking out…

The decision to climb Forbidden was undertaken seriously once we read trip reports at the ranger station that the snow in the approach gully was still in. This key part of the climb is often the crux. Not necessarily for its difficulty, but for the exposure to rockfall and the fewer options you have to do anything else. There are bypass routes that have you scrambling up on a nearby rock buttress, but if the snow in the gully is in, it should be a simple matter to walk up on top, with much of the loose junky rock locked into the snow below your feet.

I may have misspoken when I said the approach gully is the crux of the route. Taking overnight gear up the boston basin trail gives most any technical part of the climb a run for its money. Large signs greet you at the beginning of the trail. One clearly states that if you aren’t in for the type of trail that is coming, you should drive further up the road to the Cascade Pass trailhead, and its plethora of switchbacks. The boston basin trail is a wilderness climber’s trail that is not maintained, but just tromped down by the traffic. Stream crossings are wild and thought provoking. I see the point of maintaining the ideals of wilderness in this special area. I also wouldn’t have turned down a well constructed (or poorly constructed) bridge across some of the sketchier stream crossings.

After the work of gaining the basin and the seemingly class 3 scrambling up trail, the amazing views of the iconic peaks of the Cascade Pass area are well worth it. From Torment to Forbidden, Boston to Sahale, and always Johannesburg behind you throwing ice down its flanks, the scenery does not let up. Even though the approach gully was reported as “just barely” in, the upper boston basin camp was not melted out, so almost all the climbers had opted to stay at the lower camp to enjoy the flat dry tent spots and easy access to stream water next to camp. After trudging up the trail, we didn’t disagree.

From camp we could see the beginnings of the gully and even more importantly heard stories from folks who had gone up and down the gully in the preceding days. Most of these stories were epics. 20+ hour pushes up the east ridge and back down the west. Bailing off the classic Torment-Forbidden traverse. We listened to the stories, mentally set our alarm clock for earlier and earlier, and then quickly filled up our water reserves and made haste to cook up some dinner. After thinking through the next day we decided a 3AM wakeup call was in order. I snapped as many pictures of the beautiful scenery as I could, set up a timelapse and finally crashed for a few hours of rest before the climb the next day.

Since we had our food situation dialed from the backpacking trip our breakfast went super quick – pour water into our granola and dehydrated milk, chow down, throw down as many bars as possible, and then gear up for the hike. As the approach image shows above, there is quite a bit of walking up from the lower camp along moraine features before traversing under snow and then finally gaining the gully’s snow finger before climbing up to the base of the route. As we started to move, early morning light was already gracing the clouds above Torment, and as we made the traverse over underneath the snow, the basin was already seemingly awash in early morning light.

Roping up at the bottom of the gully afforded the ability to quickly throw in a picket and a hasty belay wherever needed. The conditions proved straightforward, however, and we continued up simul-climbing until we found a large crack in the snow. It was almost possible to jump across, but would have been risky with a 10-15′ sliding awkward fall into the crack if you didn’t make it. The team behind us managed to stretch across and place a picket before yarding themselves over – I wish that thought had occurred to me.

After thinking about our options and taking a look around, I eventually climbed down into the crack, got down to the rocks below and did some fun and slightly terrifying mixed climbing up along the wall next to the snow gully. Rap stations of dubious quality were all around, but I climbed further up and gained a small ledge where I eventually built a rock anchor and brought Nicole up. From there we walked up the rock ledge further, passing by another smaller crack in the snow, before again regaining the snow at a small step across. Now we just had to walk the remaining several hundred feet up to the base of the route.

Once we reached the top of the gully, we made a critical error in forcing the line straight up to where we could see the notch and the beginning of the formal route up the west ridge. The beta described easier class 4 ramps, but my eyes only saw the doable (though slower!) class 5 terrain above. After 45m of loose and somewhat sketchy mid class 5 climbing, a short 5.8ish headwall finished off the first pitch of our climb, where I set up a belay in sight of the obvious class 4 ramps that walked right around the technical terrain I had just picked my way up. With plenty of gear placed on the route, however, I was forced to have Nicole follow my poor path, retrieve the gear, and continue on. Time was already not in our favor, but the day was still early, and we pushed on.

We tried a stint of simul-climbing along the ridge, hoping to make up time, but a few step across moves and the extreme exposure had us quickly switching back to belayed climbing. Immediately the route succeeded in showcasing its classic status, as pitch after pitch of amazing moderate climbing unrolled in front of us with amazing views off to some of the jewels of the north cascades and beyond.The first false summit comes quickly, and as we approached it a pair of climbing rangers were climbing down after having climbed up the north ridge. We chatted as we brought up our respective followers, and then pushed on.

We lost count of the number of pitches and half pitches we added together. At one point we were passed by the only other group on the mountain – a duo of guys who were day tripping and, until they passed us, quickly and efficiently simul-climbing. We hit one of the mid-5th cruxes shortly after they took the lead, and as they switched to belayed climbing, we waited behind for our chance to forge ahead. Not that we weren’t already behind our schedule already, but the constant 20minute delay at each belay station certainly didn’t help.

We got to within sight of the west summit as the weather started to turn. A slight but steady wind picked up, and the friendly clouds that had danced around the nearby peaks suddenly thickened and the cloud ceiling fell precipitously. Being so close, we pushed on and tagged the west summit, eyeing the east summit so close by, but far too far away time-wise. A careful downclimb or rappel followed by one more pitch would have been required to top out on the east summit. We took in what was left of the views, and started rigging ourselves up for the descent. We were again caught up behind the crew of two who were doing 30m rappels along the ridge. With our double 50s, we shot down a little lower at times and traversed back to the ridge, always just a step behind. While we were moving efficiently, we had already dedicated ourselves to a long night – it was far too late to still be as high up on the rock pitches as we were.

Gorgeous views, but we didn't really want to be still on rock at this moment...

The lack of pictures should tell some of the tale – I tend to keep my camera out in all kinds of conditions. It has gotten rimed over on the south sister summit, drenched in moisture in Glacier National Park, and laid out in dusty desert scenes throughout Joshua Tree and other southern California vistas. With the fading light, I finally stashed it in my backpack and concentrated all my efforts on the descent. It was full on dark when we found our way back to the notch in the ridge. We now needed to find our way down technical rock to the top of the gully proper, down the snow, across the crack in the snow, and then back to camp. The descent on the ridge was slow, but straightforward for the most part. Nicole led a few down-climbing pitches, and was a champ at route finding in reverse to keep us from veering too far off the ridgeline in the wrong places. We came upon the notch in the ridge, and despite the flat bivy spots there were not tempted to stop yet since we hadn’t even reached our cache of boots and gear, which we had left at the top of the snow gully. Had we scrambled up to the notch via the class 4 ramps, it might have been tempting to hunker down there for the evening.

We searched around in the dark misty conditions for rappel anchors or a feasible scramble down the ramps. We finally picked our way down, slowly moving down slick wet rock. After finding a rappel station, I shot down the ropes and landed in snow. The headlamps above and to my right gave away the position of the next rap station where team ahead was still to send their second down. As we put our boots back on, added layers and debated bivying on the last flatish ground we would have for hours, the guys finished their rap and pulled their ropes. We were tempted to take them up on their offer to use their rap lines, but the angle of the ropes actually left their lines well over our heads, and flicking didn’t produce enough sag for the lines to come back to within reach. After deciding to continue down, I climbed up a sketchy 15′ up to the rap station which was presumably set when there was much more snow to facilitate access.

Incredibly our first 50m rap brought us all the way down across the top crack, and just a dozen feet above the major crack in the gully – talk about making it feel small! I rapped down and set a double picket anchor, then yelled down for Nicole to follow. Once she was there it was game plan time for the last technical hurdle before walking out – the larger crack below us. The other team had lowered the first person across, since from the upper portion you could just about reach across with a foot to the top of the lower snowbank. With some rope tension it was then possible to stand up and lean back to get across the gap. Their second then placed a picket directly uphill of the crack, clipped it, and got the same treatment. He attempted to reach back across to take the picket back, but it was too far uphill. We eventually did exactly the same maneuver. But first we needed to pull our ropes from the first rappel. This went smoothly enough at first, but once the first knot came down we paused and untied it and set up the next rappel which we only needed 25m for. Once we went back to pulling the upper rope it got stuck fairly quickly – presumably wedged up in-between some rock and snow up high. Nicole put me on belay with the other rope and I started to climb up to attempt to free the blue rope. After getting 20′ above, I slipped out in the snow and slid for a few feet before self arresting. The gully is steep enough that Jim Nelson describes self arrest as not being an option. I recalled this sentence in the route description as I sank my axe into the snow and put all my weight on it. I wasn’t really in the mood to throw a factor 2 (minus whatever friction I could provide) onto the picket anchor. After thinking through our options, the time, fatigue and everything else, we eventually decided to leave the blue rope. I felt sick over this – it’s expensive. It’s junk we’ve left up in the mountains. But at the time it seemed the safer thing to do.

Once I got back down, I lowered Nicole through and she yelled back up that it was possible when she was on the other side. I carefully down climbed to the bottom picket, clipped it, and used the tension to help get across. I was already pretty out of it – looking back I wish I had thought to just make a quick snow bollard and taken the gear back. I’m pretty convinced that the snow conditions would have been just about perfect for it. Regardless, the plan went off without a hitch, and there we were below the crack with continuous but steep snow below us, then a walk back to camp. For a few 50m rope lengths I would lower Nicole through the steep snow, then she would give me a hasty belay from below as I carefully down climbed. At this point, probably sometime early in the morning, we had decided to keep moving, but to go slowly to avoid any poor decisions due to the fatigue.

The next landmark we had were a small pile of rocks where we had left our poles on the way up. The visibility all night long was about 10 feet. Headlamps allowed you to see around you, but if turned off, you could sense larger ridgelines much further away, but could make out no detail. The obvious pile of rocks on the way up didn’t feel so obvious any longer. We followed the beaten down path of a boot track, passing numerous small rocks on either side until one particular set gave me a bit of a weird feeling. I walked over, and as the mist cleared around the rocks, there were our poles! It was an incredible bit of luck, and maybe a sign that things were letting up and that we would get out of here OK. As we continued down, we attempted the follow the bootpack as best we could, but it kept veering in weird directions and splitting up. For a long time we followed the steps of the only person who had recently worn crampons through the area, as it made the prints stand out. After far too long, we realized that we had dropped too far and gotten too far to the west. The GPS only had a partial charge so I had hesitated turning it on before when we had tracks to follow, but turning it on now was a bit depressing.

We were, as I had insisted we couldn’t possibly be to Nicole, too far to the west and too low. We needed to start cutting back uphill and across the basin. Only trouble is from where we were that meant crossing several stretches of melted out sidehilling heather patches. The slick vegetation on the uneven rocky surface was terribly slippery, and we were both glad we had found our poles to help stabilize ourselves across these patches. After what seemed like hours we finally found a sizeable bootpack again, which led to a trail that I swore was not the same one we used coming in. We took it for a ways, and then set off traversing snow further over, following the GPS towards the location of our camp. We finally topped out on a moraine feature that felt familiar, gained a small trail and rolled into camp – it was full on morning at this point, and everything in camp was soaked – there goes the quick nap we thought we were going to have!

Not wanting to stop for fear of passing out until it was dark again, I pushed Nicole to pack up and walk down to the car right away. Our bags weighed significantly more with the water soaked gear being shoved into them, but once we had everything packed – I felt a sigh of relief knowing that all we had to do was follow a clear trail, even with its sketchiness in places, down to the car. This relief was subdued quite a bit when Nicole paused ahead of me on the trail and I almost fell over myself trying to stop. The rocky trail was more than enough to defeat my fatigued reflexes, and the reality of having the remaining trail to negotiate in this condition set in. We hiked down slowly, managing the stream crossings just fine despite our fears that the wet rock would make them much more difficult. The trail condition for the most part was better than I had recalled for the trek up, and we made decent progress, with limited stops. Once past the section of “class 3 trail” I was really hankering to get to the car, and every switchback below seemed to look like a forest road before we got closer and the reality became apparent. We could finally hear the road, and I galloped down the broad road towards the car, thankful to duck under the tailgate out of the rain while I pulled off all the wet clothes and boots I had been wearing for the past 30 hours. Once we started to drive down the road we realized we weren’t out of the woods quite yet. After about 20 minutes I pulled over and gave the wheel to Nicole, who pushed us down the road 20 more minutes before we gave up, pulled over and napped for 2 hours. Only then did we feel rested enough to make the drive to Marblemount where we refueled at the Shell station with copious amounts of sugar and drinks. The drive home from there went surprisingly smoothly.

I’ve reflected back on this trip many times. We didn’t necessarily make any singular mistakes that cost us a lot of time. The shenanigans to get across the large crack in the gully cost us at least an hour or two, and could have been undertaken in much less with a bit more experience with those conditions. Another hour or so was lost to the first “pitch” that brought us up towards the notch instead of simply scrambling around. The ridge itself was also very mellow for the most part, and simul-climbing should have been possible for us, yet we were a bit intimidated by some of the step across moves at the very beginning, which forced us back into belayed climbing. After we were on route, I think we did very well, blowing past any sort of turn around time not included. All in all I’m glad to have had the experience of getting up Forbidden, and look forward to heading back to do the east ridge, and coming down the now familiar west ridge. I think in a typical snow year, early to mid-July is about the end of the snow in the gully, and unless the NPS ever allows a safer bolted rap route down the nearby buttress, I’ll always plan to be there when there is snow for a descent down the gully.

30+ hours on the move.

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 6 - Wrap Up

What a Week for NYC

What a crazy week for the New York Football Teams....Jets and Giants. With the Jets upsetting the Eagles and the Giants coming so close to taking down the Bills at home....I just kept thinking about this Fred Armisen bit about New York accents and had to post. Nothing more to say - just think he's funny. Welcome to week 6 wrap up!

MALIK MY BALLS vs MOOSES ON THE LOOSES

Sorry Mitch. Sorry that I didn't bet you a bottle of Tequila on this match up. Sorry I took away your precious High Point money. Sorry your kicker only can put up 6 points. Sorry you dropped Achane and that he also got hurt and that Mostert is now starting and that he put up 36 points. Sorry that you seem to be having an amazing season but yet you are tied with me at 4-2. Sorry that you lost...actually sorry, not sorry. Fun week Mitch. Sorry.

TREE HUGGERS vs TRADE WITH ME

OMG...he's 6-0. Scott Krippayne is 6-0. With a modest week of 96 points and without getting a full game out of his precious CMC - Scott Krippayne was matched up against Brett Rutledge who with Ekeler still to play is down 42 points going into monday night - so yes, I am callling it. Brett who was riding high on his 1 game winning streak just could not get it together with disappointing performances from everyone except the Lions Defense. Scott, who didn't have a great week saw amazing numbers from Thiielen, a TD from CMC before he went out and a good outing from Dalton Schultz. Nice win Scott...will you ever lose? Next up for Scott...Cliff Young.

BOOMER SOONER vs LANAKILA

The thing with Cliff is - if you give him a little taste of winning - he wants it all the time. He is now on a 4 game winning streak, and like Krippayne, this wasn't a high scoring week for Cliff either...but he put up enough to beat Stu Jones. Stu's best player - Stefon Diggs only put up 15 points...and he needed 6.05 more to win the match up. So basically had Diggs scored a TD things would have been different. In fact, Stu would have won, I would have won a bet or two, and some needed money...and Cliff would be a loser. Thanks Stu and Stefon. Nice win Cliff - keep it up and we may have a back to back champion on our hands (hope i didn't just jinx ya).

BACKDOOR BANDITS vs HOWARD

Yes, this GIF is because Rob Howard plays the banjo. Most weekends that's what I hear from my house...banjo music from his porch. Sometimes he has an entire polka band out there. It's a really special place to live. This week Rob beat Kyle. Rob put up 124 points so he almost won high point but I had a little bit better of a week so i snag the dough. Rather than talking about what Rob did right let's spend a moment focusing on what Kyle did wrong. He just doesn't have a very good team this year. And those players that you would think would be great like Metcalf, Lamar and Etienne...well, when only one of them put up significant points - you don't win much. So Ron moves on to 4-2 and Kyle to 1-5. Nice win Rob. I am ready for Octoberfests to be over so you are not on the road and the neighborhood can hear you play again.

MR. AWESOME vs TuPADRE

Usually one of my favorite match ups of the year. Gully vs Gabe. Best Friends going at it. At this week Gabe took the stick to Gully and knocked him out early. Gully had a good week from Tua with 28 points, Derek Henry in London managed to give him 17, and Ravens Defense in London gave him 15 but Gabe just had the magic of Tyreek (27), Hall (15), Pitts (10), Waddle (11), Kicker Carlson (13) and Eagles D (10)....and who know what tonight holds with Dak...he may put up 37 and steal my $20 from me. Nice win Gabe. I am sure your friendship will carry on but you should feel better than Andy and Son.

LONG LEFT BALLERS vs FUNK GUY

Why do I feel like we are in the same place every week with Funk Guy. More times than not - it comes down to Monday night...there's a bit of hope but then it ends badly. Tonight we go in with Dana leading 80 to Bebo's 76. Dana with Cowboys defense still to play and Bebo with Keenan Allen and CeeDee Lamb. Dallas defense is always good...they are always putting pressure and getting sacks but tonight the Charges did find a way to score. In fact, the first score of the night was a Keenan Allen TD. So, when the game ended...Bebo won...Dana lost. Bebo moves to 5-1 and Dana to 1-5. Heartbreaking week for Dana - first with his Giants and now with himself.

SURVIVOR

The Final Four Continue. It was a close call for Gully but everyone moves on.

CHEERLEADER OF THE WEEK

Brianna was born in Stuart, FL and now lives in Fort Lauderdale. She was rated by Women Fitness as the most beautiful cheerleader...and as far as I am concerned who would know if that is true, more than other women. I am trusting it. Brianna for the win.

[arosebyanyothername2016]

In the Groove

 Alright 24 show us what’s on “tap.” Right-left-right cha cha cha. 23’s about to wrap. Let’s do the hokey pokey. Double down and bet the store. We ‘ll turn on the victrola. And dance across the floor. A little twist and hully gully. If that’s what it will take. Then we’ll lindy hop and jitterbug. No more dancing just in place. Hit the ground and sprint ahead. Add input to affect a…

[ericleo108]

12/16/2022 Click here for Spotify or Apple Music. This is my 26th official release. “Bounce With This” is a more fun and whimsical track exploring ideas that I talk about a lot. This song touches on a little bit of everything from social justice, to popular media, to my cosmic luve blog.  The goal was to let the listener know a little about my personality.

The cover art was made by ArtworkGang from Fiverr. The beat is from KeyAnobeat.com. The track was professionally recorded, mixed, and mastered by Sam Peters at LA Luna Recording Studio in Kalamazoo Michigan. You can stream or download the track wherever music is sold. Thank you for your support. Be sure to follow because new music is released every first and third Friday of every month.

Lyrics:

Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it  We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it  The sound and the high hat Bring it round and slide back Up around and find that Turn around and pop that I see you when I blink I dream of you when I think Your what makes it worth it Your my love & my purpose

We gon make the best of this Wriggle with the restlessness  Get it like the bet we risked Won it and the next is fixed That’s how it goes when your when your wealthy and have capital You use the tax code to minimize the back load Exploit labor, as you stack racks tall  Rig the economy and claim it’s their fault Just wanna spread some knowledge and rap a play ground  We gonna have a ho down, come and bring the hoes round Michigan, the birth place of Mo Town,  Where we get so loud, yes I’ve been endowed With 108 the meaning is profound In Hindu what it means to you and what it founds Sentientism, and a way of knowing The Psycho Consumption Cage, a way coping Therapeutic music, share the hope Be my Fern Gully, and help it grow

Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it

We gon get it pop’n, like it Britney and we toxic Get me on a beat and I’m a killer like the cops is Tune aperture to optics, arete and hospice Encapsulate a galaxy in the size of a droplet  You can find me ballin just give me the palpit  Got’em all fallen for Champaign and Chocolate The truth is I’m trapped with her on a star ship I love her heart and want her hardship  Give me what you got, baby I’m in it for the fallin The good with the bad, bet love will solve it I’mma bring it back and rap it all in, Cuz that girl named Charlotte, I wanna see her flossin

The sound and the high hat Bring it round and slide back Up around and find that Turn around and pop that I see you when I blink I dream of you when I think Your what makes it worth it Your my love & my purpose Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it  We gon’ bounce with this We gon’ bounce with this Go ahead and roll another half ounce with it  Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh Let me hear you say what, if you came to get it crunk  Girls go on get it up, you know we don’t give a uh