#Guys what did I ever do to Norway and Denmark

[nicegaai]

having nor/ice thoughtssssssssssssss sad sad whiny kitty cat noises. wahhhh. im thinking about them wahhhhhhhh. WAHHH

what if i took all my small canonverse ideas and compiled them into ONESHOTSSSSS........................................ and what if they were CHRONOLOGICALLY ARRANGED ..... and showed RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSION over the course of 1000 years ...... and it wasnt that deep but i pretended it was and called it something like "i was meant to keep you warm" because i love to steal fox/i/ng lyrics. maybe even id find a way to make this a 5 times + 1 time format.

if i can wrestle my way into figuring out what goes on in nors head i could do it. ive figured that i want ice to never ever see him as a brother. my vision is that nor is iceladns hot babysitter fantasy and first crush that never goes away. he wants to marry him when he grows up but then his feelings stay that way and it never ever ever ever ever goes away and only gets worse. u understand? do u see it

and UNFORTUNATELY nor knows ic/eland likes him from the beginning. he can tell from like ice's adolescence onwards and is like yeah idk about all that...... but the attention is flattering and he loves this little guy so much and thinks its sweet. he doesnt get to visit often but ice writes him a lot because hes in love with him ykwim and nor loves him so much too (platonic) and always writes back.

and yeah they go through periods of living together for various reasons. sickness unions famines etc etc. not ever for long and nothing ever happens. if adolescent iceland pushed boundaries, nor would humor him a little with like...a kiss, bc he spoils him, but ultimately he hard-shuts it down. and ice would be traumatized forever and block the memory out / be eternally tormented at night by the time he did such and such so is the worst person alive etc

and ice begins teen life with the whole he will never love me and i am a tormented soul shtick. now he writes to him less, tries to put more distance between them... so it hurts less and all that. hes not GOOD at pretending he hates nor or whatever but its easy to lose connection when messages are rare and visits are rarer

he spends much more time at denmarks than with no.rway. he sees den.mark as a proper older brother / uncle / fatherly figure. hes closer emotionally to him and lives with him more and all that. his tutors are danish and he goes to boarding school in cop.enhagen in the 1800s. idk how this ties into the romance necessarily but its timeline relevant. whether or not denmark picks up on the crush , i dont know. i could go either way lol. also, den + nors relationship is strictly brotherly btw. ironically. because theres not enough fics where theyre platonic and i really do enjoy them that way too

nor and ice remain distant for several hundred years. its once ice gets into his pushing for independence mixed with modern technology for better communication ..... somewhere between say, the invention of the airplane and landline phones, nor and ice repair their relationship. iceland is coming into adulthood (independence) for real, and is SO mature about his international relationships. he can be so mature and normal about norway. he can sit down with him and have lunch and discuss business and norway wont talk down at him for being young at all (lie) and he'll be so chill about that and not yell at him (he only does it once) (he only has to do it once)

all this isnt to say n.orway himself didnt attempt to stay close over the years, but ic.eland wasnt reciprocating, and even if they saw each other every year at christmas (doubt) that doesnt make them really CLOSE. but i think iceland was always particularly special to him bc of how close they were as kids. and they WERE both kids back then. little icela.nd sent him letters while nor was like 14 at best. i believe in teen mom norway and his eldest sondaughter icey. at least from nors perspective. even tho hes so absent so much of the time. when he comes around he showers him in gifts as a love language even way back when

anyway, ice.land still has an obvious crush on nor and nor finds it SO cute. like he could just pinch his cheeks and coo at him for it. ice tries to keep a lid on his emotions but can only do so much. nor doesnt SAY anything to point sus behavior out. but as soon as he notices,,,, its like there was no time apart, to nor. ice is so closed off and stiff and weird around him and nor wishes he would relax so they can connect properly and he honestly CANT

the solution is to drink otgether i think. at some point. maybe not immediately but they'll get to it.

icela.nd isnt like oohg im too young to drink, i think hes just lived long enough that hes a bit Over It / doesnt want to act like an idiot / really doesnt want to act like an idiot in front of nor. but nor could peer pressure him into anything if he really tried so they finally get tipsy together and i think that goes a long way to repair their relationship.

they do this many times and as long as ice is careful to not drink a lot he'll be fine. hes gotta keep his wits about him and still be able to feel shame. one time he indulges a little hard and i think ice trauma dumps on him and they kiss to make up for the time nor pushed him away and nor didnt realize he was still hurting so much about that. nor is tipsy enough to do it (not even drunk) and afterwards he goes ohh wait i kind of enjoyed that. and do it a few more times then make out for a while and it doesnt go anywhere, they fall asleep

the next day they completely remember kissing and know the other remembers it and just mutually dont talk about it.

icelan.d is VISIBLY struggling even harder around him for at least a few days until he gets a handle on his emotions. and nor has a lot to think about. in general.

i dont know where the dna stuff comes in. im falling asleep while typeing this

but icelan.d obvioiusly is like wtf? we arent related. thats impossible. i cant even fathom this. and nor.way is like you are the closest i will ever have to family and i am your biological father and icel.and is like what the fuck ew you can say brother as much as you want but never say father again im begging you and nor is like Bet.

and then they test and they're first degree related. father or brother would be appropriate. and nor is like yeah obviously (already believed this when he kissed him) and ic.eland is like (max harlow voice) SUICIDE !! SUICIDE !!

icelan.d sits with that information for a while but his crush still doesnt go away. nor gives him space and also sits with the information. he never thought he'd end up here but he decides that hes into it. its kinda hot. I Do believe in slutty n.orway supremacy i thnk hes slept with most of europe and doesnt have a strong internal sense of familial boundaries considering he is a landmass and is like yeah id do that again we're both adults hes cute whatever

next time they see each other nor comes onto him. and ice is squeemish about it but this is also everything hes ever wanted. whats he gonna do, say no?

at this point i fell asleep but im awake again uhhhh

ic.eland gets to cope with being a creep a weirdo and getting what he wanted in the worst way possible and nor gets to torment him with the brother thing not as a kink but bcz it makes him uncomfortable and he thinks its funny.

i forgot to talk about the actual oneshot ideas that inspired this in the first place didnt i. oh well

aaaaaaaaaaaaand post

[thedreadvampy]

watching Sam play Screed: Viking Time and I have. Questions. about Asgard. to whit:

why must people always paint Loki as a generic villain? he's not a generic villain! he's a trickster! he's an Anansi kinda guy! he talks his way into trouble and then talks his way out! he's not even a villain he's just not always on the Asgardian side and he often Causes Problems On Purpose but he also...fixes them. for Asgard. idk it annoys me it's like always putting Hades as a villain in Greek stories it's like nah he's just a Different Kind of Guy

minor gripe but at one point Thor yells 'Jotunheim scum!' and can I just say that's like me running into battle against these guys yelling 'NORWAY SCUM! DENMARK BASTARDS!' like. I know you know the adjective is Jotun because you keep saying it.

Speaking of Greek stories I see we ran out of time on the design side and had to dip back to some Odyssey stuff because BOY HOWDY is this a Mediterranean looking Asgard. where exactly the fuck did all these fluted stone columns with Tuscan capitals come from? what's with the big courtyard with a geometric pool? why are there what appear to be sheets of lapis lazuli in the walls? why is there literally a Greek ruin in part of Asgard? there's these statues along the Bifrost and not only are they mounted on Doric columns and in classical contraposto they are literally wearing chitons and Corinthian helmets.

there's no longhouses! there's no wooden buildings! there is one (1) stave church style building and as Sam says it looks like it was made in the Sims, like someone had a sense of what they wanted it to look like but all the wrong building blocks. it's all stone columns with, at best, some knotwork patterning slapped on (over fluting, which is wild, even in architecture where Greek style columns are appropriate you usually pick BETWEEN fluting and pattern work, and I would be much more up for giving them a pass if they used a Tuscan pillar shape but put knotwork on. like really for a Norse style stone columns would be better squared off (or, mostly, not there) but if they needed stone columns and arches I could close my eyes and pretend if they used like. Romanesque pillars and rounded arches like 11th and 12th century cathedrals (even though the game is set in the 830s). but they're doing this very kind of High Classical thing with a very thin and half-assed Medieval Norse skin slapped over bits of it in a way that didn't really get popular in Northern Europe for like another 600 years and idk if it ever really took off in Norway (idk much about Norwegian architecture tbf). which makes me think they literally just retextured and rearranged a bunch of assets from Odyssey which is a shame because designing an Asgard setting is such a fun design project where you could really explore some unrealistic extremes with wooden-style structures. but no. it's Greek.

and the thing is, ok. with the Greek theming in Asgard. I know it's only happened because the game was rushed out, but like the conflation of Norse and Greek has some very 😬 unintended implications wrt how much a lot of the people who are Very Into The Surface Level Aesthetic of both cultures are. how to say. fashy white supremacists peddling the myth of some unified White Western Culture where both Ancient Greek and Medieval Norse cultures feature heavily. and if I was. making a game about Norse history and mythology. I would personally be being Very Wary of feeding the fash bc white supremacists looooooove their imagined version of Manly Viking Alphas.

[pvffinsdaisies]

The Nordics as song’s from Maisie Peters’ “You Signed Up For This”

With no explanation. Featuring OCs. The Good Witch.

YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS: ICELAND

“Please don’t give up on me yet, I know I’ll get better, I’m just not better yet. Can you tell I’m trying, running out of breath? I know I’ll get better, I’m just not better yet (you signed up for this.)”

I’M TRYING (NOT FRIENDS): DENMARK

“We were bad but we’re gonna be good. It didn’t work like we thought it would, and I resent you just a little, if I’m honest, but one of use has gotta try to keep a promise. And I swore that I’d swallow my pride, and you swore you would do better this time, well I might be bitter and twisted and broken and petty and lying, but at least I’m trying.”

JOHN HUGHES MOVIE: ÅLAND

“Cause this ain’t no John Hughes movie where the girl gets the guy, you look right through me every time I walk by. I keep waiting for the heartbreak music that’s never gonna come, cause if you don’t want me, then you’re not the one!”

OUTDOOR POOL: ICELAND

“We went swimming in an outdoor pool, and you wouldn’t tell a soul at school; I’m just 15, I just want you so that’s cool. It’s almost Skins if my eyes stay shut, but I don’t swim and you’re not in love. And you only kissed me after midnight in an outdoor pool.”

LOVE HIM I DON’T: NORWAY

“Now it’s coming up roses, kicking up snow, what a long winter, what a bad joke. Shady when we held hands, everyone else can have him, but I won’t. Love him I don’t, love him I won’t, love him I did for a minute, but I’ve finished cause I’ve learnt. Loving him hurts, loving him don’t work, so love him I don’t.”

PSYCHO: NORWAY

“Now that I’m over that hill, you wanna say how you feel, crazy to think that you still call me psycho. You wanna talk? Not ideal. Heard I moved on, babe, that’s real. And you got a girl, but you still call me psycho.”

BOY: NORWAY

“Boy, you think I’m dumb, trying to pull one on me like I’ve never been kissed. You had a couple of exes and I know that they let you get away with it, but you’re a boy, and I can tell that you’ve never been hugged, boy, and I can do better than this, oh, better than this.”

HOLLOW: SWEDEN

“Hollow, this hurts so loud, further than down. You left me hollow, are you happy now? I hope you’re happy now.”

VILLAIN: DENMARK

“Now you’re in her room getting undressed. I curse you on the front of the steps; I’ll burn this house, I mean it! If she’s the girl of your dreams, the best thing you’ve ever seen, well, what does that make me then? I’m your villain.”

BROOKLYN: FINLAND

“If you’re looking, if you’re looking for the girl of your dreams, she’s in Brooklyn with me, she’s in Brooklyn with me. If you’re looking, if you’re looking for the girl of your dreams, she’s in Brooklyn with me, she’s in Brooklyn with me. And if you want to take her out, you’re gonna have to ask me first! Come on, have you seen those eyes? It’s nothing but the best for her. Oh, if you’re looking, if you’re looking for the girl of your dreams, she’s in Brooklyn with me, she’s in Brooklyn with me.”

ELVIS SONG: DENMARK

“Late nights in the old arcade, drinking cheap wine as Elvis plays, singing, “you were always on my mind.” I was was yours and you were mine. Breakfast on your sofa bed, thinking, “oh, god, I’m in over my head.” You were always on my mind, you’re always on my mind.”

TALKING TO STRANGERS: SWEDEN

“Oh, I can’t stop, I can’t just not tell the whole wide world and this room. No, I can’t stop- even if I wanted to- talking to strangers about you, talking to strangers about you.”

VOLCANO: ICELAND

“All or nothing, you chose nothing! Pulled a parachute as the ground came rushing. You got away with it, with it, with it, yeah. All or nothing, you felt nothing! Pulled a parachute as the ground came rushing. You got away with it, with it.”

TOUGH ACT: FINLAND

“I know the reasons, took a couple tries to see them, but now everything is through, it’s you I wanna call though. When all I’ve known of is something that I should let go of, I’ll cut it at the root, and drain it till it’s all so hollow, but you are one tough act to follow.”

[wakemeupinmay]

My thoughts on the Eurovision songs this year

1. 🇦🇱 Albania - Duje - Albina & Familja Kelmendi

VERY dramatic, but I could shake my ass to the part in which she isn’t singing

2. 🇦🇲 Armenia - Future Lover - Brunette

„I just wanna make art, read books, be loved and called a good girl“ okay ma'am that’s everyone ur not special

3. 🇦🇺 Australia - Promise - Voyager

Do we know why they are headbanging this much? It couldn’t be bc of this song right?

4. 🇦🇹 Austria - Who the hell is Edgar? - Teya & Salena

Not often is a song made spicier by adding some church singing

5. 🇦🇿 Azerbaijan - Tell me more - TuralTuranX

I have just watched the video for the third time and I start to suspect that there is more than one guy singing, I could be wrong tho

6. 🇧🇪 Belgium - Because of you - Gustaph

He looks like a gay musketeer + weirdly enough this song doesn’t make me want to dance, it makes me want to walk???

7. 🇭🇷 Croatia - Mama ŠČ - Let 3

Thankfully for them I love chaos and not knowing what is going on, BUT I did get scared for a second when they undressed

8. 🇨🇾 Cyprus - Break a broken heart - Andrew Lambrou

I am mesmerized but that won’t get me to like the song :/

9. 🇨🇿 Czechia - My sister‘s crown - Vesna

Idk guys, is this a good song or does it just have a good message? It doesn’t bop for me, I’m so sorry I tried

10. 🇩🇰 Denmark - Breaking my heart - Reiley

Okay, do we also have a version in which we can hear his voice in the chorus better? Thanks, the distorted one playing over his singing is a no no. I dig the outfit tho 10/10 very cute

11. 🇪🇪 Estonia - Bridges - Alika

Don’t worry guys, Estonia is bringing the compulsory piano to the contest this year

12. 🇫🇮 Finland - Cha Cha Cha - Käärijä

Very entertaining and very eurovision by the hulk goblin king, very appreciated by me :)

13. 🇫🇷 France - Évidemment - La Zarra

This. woman. has. the. most. snatched. waist. I. have. ever. seen. Other than that, once again France does what it does best, which is being french

14. 🇬🇪 Georgia - Echo - Iru

Did she get turned into a white worm halfway through? + They surely get the award of „lyrics that make the least sense“ this year. „THIS FEELING IS LORD“

15. 🇩🇪 Germany - Blood & Glitter - Lord of the lost

So happy for Germany leaving its shell for once but maybe reconsider the red latex suit. Otherwise they are really cute and make me smile

16. 🇬🇷 Greece - What they say - Victor Vernicos

How did Greece get Tom Shelby’s son dressed like a school boy from the 1940ies to sing about his hurt feelings?

17. 🇮🇸 Iceland - Power - Diljá

So sad Iceland couldn’t keep up the streak of rly good entries. Unfortunately this song holds no PPPPower over me

18. 🇮🇪 Ireland - We are one - Wild Youth

Don’t worry guys, our knights in shining masks are here to save us. Not rly tho, the song is not that much fun :/

19. 🇮🇱 Israel - Unicorn - Noa Kirel

A song called Unicorn has no business being this serious

20. 🇮🇹 Italy - Due vite - Marco Mengoni

What can I tell u…. It’s definitely Italys entry + Does he sound like an italian Michael Jackson???

21. 🇱🇻 Latvia - Aijā - Sudden Lights

The last time I saw lights like these on stage Germany got 0 points, be careful Latvia

22. 🇱🇹 Lithuania - Stay - Monika Linkytė

What does Čiūto tūto mean?

23. 🇲🇹 Malta - Dance (our own party) - The Busker

I see you Malta, trying to have your own little epic sax moment

24. 🇲🇩 Moldova - Soarele si Luna - Pasha Parfeni

This felt like a spiritual fever dream + gotta love the nuns in the crowd

25. 🇳🇱 Netherlands - Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

This song is all the stages of grief I go through once my favourite does not win eurovision

26. 🇳🇴 Norway - Queen of Kings - Alessandra

Aye aye captain we stan! BUT I would have looooved if the show (costumes, dance,…) were a cringey eurovisiony pirate thing

27. 🇵🇱 Poland - Solo - Blanka

Why is it giving parody of rich spoiled brat that thinks she can sing bc daddy said so?

28. 🇵🇹 Portugal - Ai Coração - Mimicat

I like it, it’s not a ballad and fun also she looks exactly how I would imagine a Mimicat

29. 🇷🇴 Romania - D.G.T. (Off and On) - Theodor Andrei

I didn’t expect to be going to an underage bondage strip club tonight.

30. 🇸🇲 San Marino - Like an animal - Piqued Jacks

He is giving me mixed signals. Am I sexy Aphrodite or do I stink and am poisonous? Why is he chasing me? Is that good or bad? I’m worried

31. 🇷🇸 Serbia - Samo mi she spava - Luke Black

He is very much Melovin coded but I do connect with the message an awful lot

32. 🇸🇮 Slovenia - Carpe Diem - Joker Out

It’s good, I get the hype, curious what they’ll do on stage tho

33. 🇪🇸 Spain - Eaea - Blanca Paloma

Is it allowed to perform religious rituals on stage?

34. 🇸🇪 Sweden - Tattoo - Loreen

After that huge TV fell on that one kpop performers head this performance makes me extra nervous

35. 🇨🇭 Switzerland - Watergun - Remo Forrer

Don’t worry Remo, Switzerland is one of the safest countries on earth

36. 🇺🇦 Ukraine - Heart of Steel - Tvorchi

I think I have never been more surprised by a country sending a generic pop song. Or maybe it was to be expected the most rn. It’s not bad by any means but also def not a winner and everyone knows that

37. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom - I wrote a song - Mae Muller

If I don’t see the name Mae Muller on the writing credits to this song I will absolutely throw a fit

(List of videos I watched)

[eileentothestars]

A RANDOM AMERICAN’S THOUGHTS ON 2023 EUROVISION SONGS

Albania -- I never know what Albania is doing but they always look so interesting while doing it

Ukraine -- I feel like I’m kicking a puppy for saying this but I couldn’t quite get into it. I think the skips in the music kept throwing me off

Belgium -- Took one look at the person’s costume and could not hit play fast ENOUGH

Norway -- Is it the banana wolf song? No. Do I support it and She Queen of the Kings 1000 percent? You bet.

Slovenia -- I can dig it

Spain -- I like the vibe and the aesthetic more than the song

Czechia -- 1) What 2) This is Toy but grim and gritty 3) What

Latvia -- They just slapped a bunch of sounds together, stole Elena Kagan’s hair, and called it a day

Denmark -- I’m a sucker for retro stuff but that autotune is making me violent

Croatia -- 100/10, completely deranged, will listen again

Romania -- Why is that person wearing Beetlejuice pants at a kinky strip club

Malta -- Epic Sax Guy 2.0

Estonia -- I am now launching the Estonia Don’t Be Boring challenge

France -- Didn’t know I was into the 1930s disco steampunk aesthetic

Lithuania -- C’mon, you gave us the Roop and now this is your entry?

Italy -- So brave of this guy to sing a ballad as aliens are about to abduct him

Australia -- They aren’t bad this year???

Finland -- Didn’t need you to tell me this was Finland’s entry, we could all tell

San Marino -- I see they’ve decided to be subtle this year

The Netherlands -- Kind of a mood actually

Poland -- Low-energy Ariana knockoff, no thanks

Germany -- “Blood and Glitter” should be Eurovision’s new motto, I can’t believe Germany did something right this year

Serbia -- Did I say the Netherlands was a mood? I meant THIS is a mood

Austria -- This is the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Just give them the prize now, please. “What the heck is this about” indeed

Ireland -- Getting heavy ‘80s soundtrack vibes, which is to say I like it more than it probably deserves

Israel -- I’m curious to see how she turns into a centaur onstage. Also, ma’am, with all due respect, who dressed you this morning

Switzerland -- This is the same person from last time but with a deeper voice

United Kingdom -- Oh that ‘dai dai dai’ got old real fast

Moldova -- Perfect as always 10/10 no notes

Latvia -- Thanks I hate it

Iceland -- Never quite came together for me, but I do like her energy and the ‘80s chorus

Cyprus -- Thanks for the Imagine Dragons impersonation

Sweden -- Dang Sweden brought out the big guns

Portugal -- So glad Harley Quinn made it to Eurovision this year

Greece -- “Sad boy angsting in leaking basement” is not really my thing

Azerbaijan -- Now that is how you ascot

Armenia -- Did absolutely nothing for me

Georgia -- She looks like she’s wearing milk. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

[lietpolski]

0 for Iceland if you're still doing these?

im SADLY still doing uni work so yes i'm still doing these asks to make it more bearable :,) oh oh but i'm excited to talk about iceland thanks for asking about him!! :DD

1) what would their social media page/activity be like: almost none! it just doesn't seem like his kinda thing u know it goes against his old man energy... but he does use social media to talk to people and keep up with what the others r up to, he just doesn't post much! except for nature pics on instagram <- i think that's canon but don't quote me on it

2) what animal they remind me of: puffin is a boring answer so i'll say he gives off cat energy!! not in a catboy way, in the clingy-but-pretending-not-to-be way

3) my thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone: LOVE his design!! i think his outfit is unique and looks so nice (if u forget the shoes). i did kinda prefer him with the blue eyes he had innnn the movie was it?? but purple looks cool! ALSO ashy-haired iceland is the only iceland to me ok!! he and finland look too much alike in the newer seasons >:(

4) physical headcanons: i think he has a rlly good sleep schedule! like we're talking,, 10pm to 6am he's insane like that. i like to think of him as just slightly shorter than nor, and taller than finland! umm this isn't a headcanon it's canon but i feel like it's an unpopular opinion on tumblr :,) but he's 17 to me! he's also on the slender side. he never had to fight the way the other nordics did, so he's a bit twiggy

5) social headcanons: yes ok!! i covered his relationship w/ denmark in that ask so i won't talk about it again. i think it's so sweet how he looks up to sweden in canon, and while i don't think he grew up close enough to him to view him as a father figure, he's kind of a dad friend to him! ice definitely values social connections a lot, but he still struggles with making them, so he pretends not to. it's been better since the internet became a thing! but u have to think about what being a preteen growing up with ur only friends being your brothers does to someone :,) he's still not the best at socializing and making friends. ALSO NOT A HC BUT I LOVE THAT HE HATES ENGLAND ITS VERY FUNNY TO ME i hc he gets all >:/ when norway talks about hanging out with england like eugh. that guy?

6) psychological headcanons: like i said i think loneliness and self-isolation are def things he's struggled with. the other nordics help a lot but ! i think especially when he was growing up he felt insecure about physically growing so much slower than everyone around him, too. he & norway are also super interesting to me! i think his whole not wanting to call him big brother thing would be more than just him wanting to look grown up (but that too!), he feels awkward being emotionally vulnerable with norway, after growing up extremely close to him but then not hearing from him at all during his formative years (when denmark had to step in). they love each other all the same, but the awkwardness in their relationship is more than just him being immature! don't get me wrong they get along though and tease each other and talk on the phone about silly things and i adore them

7) ship(s) with them that I like or at least consider: aah i like hongice a lot !! i've literally only ever found one good fic of them BUT IT WAS SO GOOD that i fell in love with them as a couple!! i also think him and luxembourg or hongice + lux would be fun!

8) made-up connections with other characters that weren't in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever): aah i don't actually think i have any :,) it's not canon anymore because of him making friends with the aseans, but prior to those strips i would've called him the nordic with the least relationships outside of the group. i think he's friendly with the others around his age though! taiwan, seychelles, liechtenstein, lux, latvia! and he likes america, although he overwhelms him

9) Headcanons about their past: hrmrm in the hongice fic i mentioned he stayed in london during ww2 and i think that idea makes a lot of sense & i really like it!! the rest i've pretty much covered. i'll add that in my head he lived with norway growing up (canon is kind of contradictory, but one strip implies he lived in iceland even after he met norway). i just think it makes more sense that they wouldn't leave this kid all alone?? but it does also mean he witnessed a lot of difficult things (sweden & denmark's fights especially) so it wasn't always a happy time

10) content about them I'd like to see more of: him & denmark like i said !! also more nationverse hongice i feel like it's so rare!! and i loooove things going into the complexities of him & norway as siblings. plus anything about his young teens because we only ever see a frame of that in canon i'm p sure!!

[laifelow]

I dunno how I'm always late for reviexing eurovision entries (some I check out immidiatly, but others...... God I'm so late)

Thoughts (in no particular order)

Check this post for Ireland, Norway, Belgium, Albania, Slovenia, Spain, Ukraine.

Finland : Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha. I'm in tears. It's so good. What a lad. By far one of my fav this year. The charisma. The dancers. The colors. CHACHACHA. It's about getting drunk af. An absolute athem.

Czech Republic : Vesna - My Sister's Crown. Oh yeah, it's good. Did I ever mention how much I love trad sounds? Especially the white voice singing and harmonies? (yes, I did). It's a bit underwhelming at the verses, but the chorus is f i n e.

France : La Zarra - Evidemment. I can't deny that her voice is great, and huh..... she gorgeous. Not a fan of the dance elements, but, well, it's fine. VERY FRENCH THO. I what can I say? I don't like the majority of french pop. But she can sing.

Italy : Marco Mengoni - Due Vite. Why does everybody love it? It's boring? He's a good singer, no questions there, but... it's a ballad. Don't get me wrong, some ballad are great. Just not this one. The weakest italian entries in years if you ask me.

Serbia : Luke Blake - Samo Mi Se Spava. wtf it's great. I'm loving how much of what my friends calls "berliner night club" vibe we're getting this year.

Netherlands : Mia Nikolai & Dion Cooper - Burning Daylight. I'm pretty sure this one will grow on me, esp if they have a good stage presence (sing w/ your guts and you're good). But pretty underwhelming.

Croatia : Let 3 - Mama ŠČ!. Big fan of whaterver is gooing here. Dunno what's they're sniffing , but I want some. Do I love the song? No. But I'm glad it's there. (kinda catchy tho) Hope they go to finals

Moldova : Pasha Parfeni - Soarele si Luna. I'm crying. The esc Gods have listened to me. There is SO MUCH trad techno this year. I'm ascending. Alvan & Ahez would be so proud. I'm sure are. The fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuute T-T

Australia : Voyager - Promise. Yeah, I like it! It's good! I hope they'll hgave a good live performance!

Poland: Blanka - Solo. Oh no. No, this one is not good. She's off key. It's bland af. Pass. Jann was JUST THERE.

Estonia : Alika - Bridges. Well, there's a ballad I can get under. Not really my jam, but it's good.

Germany : Lord of the Lost - Blood and Glitter. Can't believe Germany finally decided to stop being lame. I'm proud of you guys. You're a good neighbour once in a while.

Cyprus : Andrew Lambrou - Break a Broken Heart. Side note : what a title. Also, can Cyprus do anything aside from pop? Like, they're good a it, but still... Nothing special here, move on.

Denmark : Reily - Breaking My Heart. Side note : heh, title. This one kinda pisses me off, bcause I don't like It, but also.... I'm vibbing to it?????

Iceland : Diljà - Power. Heh. I guess it's fine.

Malta : The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party). I'm so weak to sax solos, I'm almost ashamed. So yeah, I like it :) They have this Lake Malawi kind of charm.

Lithuania : Monika Linkyté - Stay. Guys........ I'm really triying to make an effort here, but why your ballads have to be so generic?

San Marino. Piqued Jacks - Like An Animal. Welp, this has potential.

Latvia. Sudden Lights - Aijà. I really want to like this one, but the live version is just underwhelming. The studio version slaps, tho.

Romania : Theodor Andrei - D.G.T (Off and On). I'm not sure. It's good, but also it's meh. It lacks a littke something, but I like it I think.

I'm impressed, we're actually getting a really good year! I can't wait to pressure my friends into watching the final with me!

Also, I'm loving the national langages this year!

[deep-hearts-core]

(tonight we're gonna party like it's) 1999

god damn i haven't done one of these in a while. its charlotte nilsson time baybee

Lithuania REAL SHAME about this staging. it's a nice song and aiste has a great voice clearly but she doesn't have the right kind of stage presence for this. the dancing around that she was doing didn't feel right for this genre, it was discordant and distracting. also the pink lighting didn't work. if i could go back in time and fix this i'd tell the lithuanian delegation to keep the camera close on her upper body at all times.

Belgium nice song nice voice well staged but she's too damn quiet. i can't really hear her. especially at the beginning. sad bc i have no other complaints about this one except for maybe "is that guy blowing into a horseshoe crab?".

Spain she's a good singer so it's a shame about that dress. also, the verses are kind of boring and i only really enjoy the chorus. also, i keep misremembering this song as having the tune of a bosnian song called "zena svijetom upravlja" or something like that that a friend of mine submitted to a tumblr fancontest forever ago. also also, did i mention that dress? distracting.

Croatia love the "ah-ah-ah-ah"s in the chorus. favorite thing about this song. (maybe because that's what's familiar because that's the thing that everyone puts in the fourth place compilation recap vids or whatever). she looks nice in that dress i guess but something feels kind of off with the staging. i can definitely tell that this followed immediately after dana international. there's something in the way she's moving that's making it clear she's trying to imitate dana in some way.

UK i love this one!! love a girl band, the main singer is really good, and those silver outfits are great. that "say it again, say yeah" is the most catchy/memorable line i've heard so far tonight that i hadn't already seen in a recap video. unfortunately one of the girls was a little pitchy in the high harmonies and that got on my nerves a little.

Slovenia i mean i don't love it but there's nothing to hate about it really. she sounds good. nice classic eurovision ballad.

Turkey this is every turkish entry ever, right? it's not bad really it's just not my speed. i spent most of my time watching this thinking about danish barbershop quartet the clementones and admiring the stage, because this year's stage is cool. more on that later.

Norway ngl kind of disappointed? the dance routine was good, i guess? idk it's not my kind of song and he wasn't great vocally. and that shirt wsa sort of. a choice. didn't work imo.

Denmark you can always count on denmark to do a good happy duet with a guitar. love this. if they hadn't fucked up that very last note this would have been absolutely perfect to me. <3

France like if that song "free fallin'" got eurovision'd.

Netherlands early dutch country is also every eurovision song that follows it for the next like 5-6 years, more at 10! nah but it's alright. and she's pretty, which helps. the song started before she started singing and i was like "?? this is gonna be so good?" and then i remembered it was the netherlands and my expectations instantly went medium. lol.

Poland great belt on this man. not like a literal belt but like his voice near the end when he's belting his high notes, that's good. good tone. song's ok i guess.

Iceland this song slams and i fucking love it in studio but the staging was... a little too over the top, tbh?

Cyprus her voice isn't a good fit. the slow start goes on for just a little too long and she's just kind of shrill.

Sweden it's good, i can see why it won, but her outfit is just so MUCH. i hope it was a candidate for barbara dex. the eyeshadow. the flesh colored fabric underneath the pretend crop top. no thank you charlotte.

Portugal not bad. rui bandeira is kind of a guy who looks like a girl who looks like a boy iykwim. idk it kinda sounds like all the other ones.

Ireland this song is too low for them and it does funny things to their tone quality. too much vibrato.

Austria she's cute, i like the guitar line, this is very radio-friendly and american in a way that allowed me to like... yes tune out but not tune all the way out and just kind of vibe.

Israel it is a sign of how brainpoisoned i have become that i saw a quartet of guys on the stage and thought, "ah yes, the guy in the different shirt is the lead, he has the tenor and the bass on either side of him, and the other guy is the bari". i'm in hell. good song though. i mean i guess. why is it happy birthday?

Malta their harmonies aren't really locking. given, i have a much higher bar for that these days due to the aforementioned brainpoison, but still, some of these chords are heinous. also the song is just sort of not good.

Germany song is alright except for the bridge which is unnecessarily cheesy. i mean, even for the thing that it is, which is a eurovision song.

Bosnia & Herz d... dino merlin? idk this one is weird, they're like conjugating french verbs or something and also this one was muted in the video archive i had and the dino merlin official youtube upload had terrible audio quality so i feel like i can't really judge it

Estonia the onstage aesthetic vibe of this is beautiful, and i like the song, too. it's a shame that it's not a good vocal fit for evelin. a clear precursor to randajad and good use of the stage too.

My top 23 1)Denmark 2)Estonia 3)Portugal 4)Iceland 5)Sweden 6)Austria 7)Belgium 8)Poland 9)Israel 10)Germany 11)UK 12)Slovenia 13)Spain 14)Croatia 15)Ireland 16)Turkey 17)Netherlands 18)Lithuania 19)Cyprus 20)France 21)Norway 22)Bosnia 23)Malta

shoutouts again to my friend rachel's prefsorter, because we can't always have gerbear

Miscellaneous commentary the little cgi tour of europe at the beginning was cute. but also very funny because of how squished together and contiguous everything was. lmao @ the host greeting the "distinguished guests" and everyone there in nice clothes. like wow the contest has changed in 20 years obsessed with these postcards btw. cartoon eve fully tits out. jesus represented as a hot guy in a suit. joseph and his brothers singing in barbershop harmony. the baby moses video game. priceless recaps are so short? i already have a hard time remembering how each song goes but like the recap snippets help absolutely not at all lol at the sun prop. it was a really excellent stage, honestly, a lot of contestants were able to use it really well, but after last year's debacle i just kept giggling whenever i saw the thing move. overall like...it's hard to judge the songs in this era, it's hard to rank them, because really i don't like most of them? like they just aren't really my style. i feel like for many of the 90s rankings the margins between songs are going to be very thin and i'm going to have trouble remembering a lot. i don't listen to a lot of 90s music so it's like... ok? sure? do i even know if this is good? no i don't!

[icelandsgirl]

Radio Silent Chapter 1: Going Under

A fanfic I wrote (on AO3, MadisynShirley) about Iceland and the end of the world for Hetalia: Axis Powers. I hope you guys like my really bad Gutters wannabe, this is my emotional support imaginary universe.

Iceland loves Denmark. He always has, and he always will. Denmark has always been a father figure to him, taking care of him. There were rough patches, things Iceland could neither forgive nor forget, but he loves Denmark. He will never say it aloud, though.

Until that day.

It was the first of August, 2023. The Nordic 5 were chilling and hanging out like they always did for Verslunarmannahelgi, Iceland's Labor Day. It actually falls on the fourth, but everyone was busy that day, so they celebrated together early (Iceland would join his people later, just without the other Nordics).

The slight summer heat was a nice change from the blustery cold that usually hung in the air like a stubborn rain cloud that refused to move. The skies were a pastel blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds, and Iceland's favorite flowers, white roses, grew in random smatterings on the grass. Pop music, mostly Icelandic, played quietly, a background hum, as the five chatted excitedly over little things. Finland remarking how warm it was. Denmark absentmindedly tripping over rocks and the like. Norway reminding them all that they never should have brought Denmark. Iceland appreciated that they always remembered and came to his house to celebrate, but he felt awkward because the conversations switched rapidly between accidentally ignoring him and him being the center of attention. He was just grateful Sweden and Finland hadn't brought Sealand. That would have been a nightmare and a half. Finland was smiling and going on about one thing or another when suddenly the festivities came to an abrupt halt.

It was as if, in an instant, a beautiful, foggy window shattered, revealing the ugly world behind it. The very pillars of Iceland's world were coming tumbling down, bringing his whole reality, and everything he thought he knew, over a precipice and into nonexistence.

Denmark had gone from smiling, laughing, drinking, singing along to silent. He had doubled over, inhaling sharply, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Norway nearly threw the glass of vodka in his hand on the ground, rushing over to help and leaving the shards of glass in a heap in the dirt.

It all happened so fast. Denmark collapsed to the ground, spitting out chunks of his blood. Oh, how Iceland hated blood. Blood was one of his greatest fears, it scared him more than he would ever be willing to say, and the sight of it coming out of his father figure's mouth in slimy, red strings was absolutely horrifying. His heart beat frantically in his chest, as if trying to escape the monstrosity he was witnessing. Every fiber of his body screamed at him to turn and run, to not look back, to get away from everything. But some small part of him told him that if he left he would regret not being there for one of the people he loved the most. So, instead of running, he threw himself on the ground next to Denmark, asking him if he was okay in Danish and desperately telling him to breathe.

Denmark sucked in a shaky breath and steadied himself. Norway gently placed a hand on his best friend's forehead. "You're burning up," Norway said, his usually monotonous voice shaking with fear. Denmark looked up sheepishly. "I don't-" He began but was cut off by a coughing fit that brought up more strands of bloody spittle. Norway and Sweden hoisted him up and walked him inside, laying him on Iceland's couch. Finland got straight to work, checking him over and making sure he was as okay as was possible to be in that situation. A swift realization hit Iceland in the gut like a bus.

If Denmark wasn't well...

That would mean...

His country was doing even worse.

Iceland jumped up and turned on the TV.

"Lillebror, what are you doing?" Norway asked, attempting his emotionless voice but failing yet again.

Iceland didn't answer, deciding he would simply show him. He switched it on to a Danish news channel. He wished he didn't.

The news reporter stood facing the ruins of the once-great kingdom. She turned and said in a panicked and unprofessional voice, "This is not a drill, Denmark has been hit by an underground megathrust earthquake. I repeat this is not a drill." Every eye in the room was drawn to the screen, staring in disbelief. Tears filled Denmark's eyes, a strangling sound in the back of his throat. They stood frozen in place as behind the reporter the entirety of Copenhagen liquefied, sinking into the ocean like it never existed. They all turned to look at Denmark, and as he burst into tears, they all surrounded him, wrapping their arms around him as tightly as possible and not letting go for a long, long time.

Denmark stayed at Iceland's house while he recovered, and the other Nordics stayed as well. Sealand came over too, with no one else to watch him, but he was well-behaved and did his best to try to help his uncle. Today was the day they decided to go to Denmark to see the damage. The boat pulled into the port, and they sailed past the liquefied remains of the once beautiful capital city. It took them a few hours, but they finally made it to flat ground. It was so much worse than the underwater city. Bridges and highways lay collapsed on the ground. Broken gas mains and power lines sparked fires that ravaged the landscape, and the remaining safe places. There was a nation-wide blackout that hadn't yet been fixed, and emergency personnel were struggling to respond to a disaster of this scale. It was worse than any horror movie Iceland had ever seen. Denmark's shoulders shook as his whole body was racked with the sobs he had tried so hard to hold back. Norway wrapped his arms around him, letting Denmark rest his head on Norge's shoulder. The population was reduced to nearly nothing. The thousand or so people left were far inland. It took an hour to reach the sole survivors. Denmark introduced himself to his people, who already knew who he was.

"Where will we stay? Where will we go?" A woman with tear-stained cheeks holding a small child in her arms asked.

"I don't..." Denmark's eyes were as downcast as his voice as he had to voice his fears. "I don't know."

It was a blow to Iceland's usually distant heart. "With me..." He suggested quietly.

Denmark's head snapped upwards so fast, the snap was audible. "You really mean it?"

Iceland couldn't possibly say no now. Even he wasn't that cold-hearted. "Of course I do, Den."

And so, with that, Iceland became the home of the few Danish people left on the planet. Denmark had to live in his house now but it was better than living in his rapidly deteriorating home country. Iceland had a very bad feeling that this was the start of something terrible.

Something so unthinkable he wouldn't even allow himself to think of it.

The end of his world as he knew it.

[sibyl-of-space]

I got to the point in Umineko where the game was like “ok we are going to solve the witch’s epitaph now” and I was like. Man, okay. You really and truly only get the experience of trying to solve a riddle ONCE. When you know the answer you can never un-know it. So, I sat down and I have given it the old college try to come up with SOMETHING. I had so much fun. I spent like an hour outside of gameplay trying to figure it out. I am also almost certainly wrong, but the actual answer hasn’t been stated to me yet, so I can still hope.

Leo’s big brain solution lies under the readmore, definitely do not read if you haven’t played through chapter 5 just because even if I’m way off, my thinking has been influenced by a lot of recent and blatant hints.

A H E M.

For the record I did this during that sequence when Lambdadelta and Bernkastel take you into the fucking void and spend like 10 minutes giving you blatant hints. From there I decided it was worth trying to find a solution, so I did.

“beloved hometown” = Europe. Grandpa was a Europe weeb.

“sweetfish” = SWEDISH. this is the part of my solution that is definitely wrong but, like, what if it’s right though. That would be so fucking funny. it’s such a stupid solution that I want it to be true. I came to this solution while literally on the toilet and going “what the fuck is the word sweetfish supposed to remind me of”.... and then i was like “well... i mean it sounds kinda like ‘Swedish’ I guess??”. This was after like 30+ minutes of me staring at European geographical maps and getting nowhere so at this point I decided to just go with it.

“sweetfish river” = the Baltic Sea, the sea (”river”) that runs adjacent to Sweden and “through” Europe. look I know it’s a reach but it’s what I got

"a village” = Denmark, AKA the big guy that the sea runs into on its way out to the ocean

“the shore the two will tell you of” = the point on Denmark’s coastline that points right to the border between Norway and Sweden

the key = the name of the city at that point on the shoreline.... SKAGEN

IT’S 6 LETTERS. QED.

....anyway, now that I have done my best to try and come up with *a* solution, the game very promptly decided to not actually tell me ITS solution. I am appreciating the theme of “multiple truths can exist until the box is opened and one is verified” because right now the box is not opened and for all I know my solution could be the solution. I can’t wait to find out.

Haven’t been compelled to spend 1 hour of my life staring at maps IRL by a game in, um, probably ever? It was so fun. I love this kind of thing.

(I still have no clue about what to do with the rest of it btw. I kinda want to know if my key is right before I bother with the rest)

[espys-art-stuff]

It has occurred to me that I should probably... publish more of the random, insane things that go through my head rather than keep them locked up in my private digital notebooks forever. So with that said, please have this thing nobody asked for,

PREPARE

FOR MY GREAT EUROSLANDER POST

(disclaimer obvious satire piece is satire)

Directory of Europe (as written by an ignorant US tourist)

BRITISH ISLES, aka the only places we care about (wait they're islands?? I thou--)

England: Harry Potter Land and so London, very Posh, quite barmy out innit, god save the queen King, I want to hop into a queue and buy some fish and chips and good english tea, *waves the union jack aggressively*

(i feel so bri’ish!!1!11 did i do the accent right [is speaking cockney])

Ireland: EIRISH ((does several bad (scottish)ireland imitations)) and so beer and drienk, my grendfather was born ‘ere so I understind everythin’ aboot this playce

N. Ireland: I understand nothing about this place

Scotland: Aye Laddie, kilts and bagpipes and castles and ACCENTS (we're so scottish)

(wait you guys sound irish--)

Wales: tbh we didn't know you existed until we looked up the funny nonsense words

what do you mean there are native languages spoken in ENGland that aren’t english

THE SOUTH (Boonies)

Spain: Mexico 2.0

wtf do you mean it's more similar to california, california speaks Only English, a spanish-speaking country could never be as advanced

Italy: PIZZA (and old people) (and fascists), florida if floridians ate proper food

Greece: boring ruins and so poor, none of this was ever significant

Portugal: tbh we thought you were a territory of Brazil

Turkey: Earthquakes and Muslims (terrorists) (barbarians) (Iran begins here)

THE EAST (Mordor)

Hungary: We know nothing about it except that it's led by that one guy all our Conservatives really like for some reason, but hey he's White and European and Will Smith did a dance video in Budapest so they’re probably fine, also LOL they must be Hungry

Russia: Very Bad And Mean, We Boycott You For 1000 Years :( (but actually we still buy all your stuff and want your tourist traps and money)

Ukraine: *waves flags* (we did not care about you before but you're White and European and frankly Russia just isn't playing to our interests anymore, so we'll back your war while we look the other way on all the ones in those Non-White Countries)

Poland and like 70 other countries: Witcher 3 and commies

THE WEST (Civilised Countries)

Germany: yeah sorry like 85% of us still think you’re nazis, you're sort of just screwed on that front

France: PARIS and EIFFEL TOWER and ROMANCE (and also rude people)

Belgium+Luxembourg+Switzerland: Alps and croissants and swiss cheese and yodelling (and also rude people)

The Netherlands: 67,342 people skipped over this country because "the netherlands" sounds like the sticks

(we later figured out you were the dutch and we apologized that you have to live out in the sticks)

Austria: The Sound of Music

THE NORDICS (Socialist Paradise/Hell, speaks Weird Shit)

Denmark: we thought it was in America (the Actual America, not the rest of it) like all other good companies are tbh, but LEGOS

(you mean nothing to us otherwise)

Sweden: The ones who will take us, but too liberal and socialist high taxes and immigrant for our tastes (ALL (nonwhite) immigrants are illegal) (enlightened Conservatives STAY OUT)

Finland: The forgotten edge of the world, everyone here lives with eskimos and polar bears

Iceland: Hawaii vacation but Cold and Exotic

Norway: So rich and socialist, but they're White and European and sell oil so we can't knock it tbh

Greenland: the USA definitely claims this. we just haven't taken it back yet because there are absolutely no colonies living on this useless rock

(however once we begin shipping all the illegal immigrants out like how our lord and saviour Ron Desanctimonious has shown us, we will require it once again)

tune in next time for my post where I do all 50 states of the USA and destroy half the world as a result

[merakislaughter]

My friend,

@the-everlasting-one ,

and I were playing with an incorrect quotes generator and we started to take turns matching them with characters…

Some of these groups might not make sense due to the fact that we’re both certified idiots.

UN: Why is Greece so sad? Italy: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes UN: And...? Italy: He got Turkey.

Greece: There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Cyprus: France: United States: Everyone Else At Greece’s Surprise Birthday Party: Italy: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

England: We need a distraction. Northern Ireland: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Wales, whispering: My time has come.

Google: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited. Amazon: If? Bing: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

United States: If you had to choose between Alaska and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Imperial Russia: That depends, how much money are we talking about? Alaska: Dad! United States: 63 cents. Imperial Russia: I'll take the money. Alaska: DAD!!!

EU: Why are you on the floor? UN: I'm depressed. UN: Also I was stabbed, can you get WHO, please?

Facebook: How's the sexiest person here~? LinkedIn: I don't know, how are they~? Facebook, flustered: I- Instagram, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Denmark, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him? Sweden: You did WHAT– Norway: William Snakespeare.

*The group is getting into the car* Delaware: I’m driving. Texas, out of view: Shotgun! Massachusetts, turning to face Texas: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Texas: WOAH- Texas, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

Fascist Italy: Don't worry, I got a plan. Third Reich: Alright. Fascist Italy: TraitorSayWhat? Imperial Japan: Excuse me? Fascist Italy: What? Imperial Japan: Fascist Italy: Fascist Italy: No wait-

Florida: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Louisiana: How am I supposed to know? Florida: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Louisiana: *sighs* Louisiana: You wouldn't be trapped.

Kingdom of France: Must be hard not being able to laugh. England: I do have a sense of humor you know. Kingdom of France: I’ve never heard you laugh before. England: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Denmark: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Finland: Only if you also don't ask why. Finland: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Denmark: Finland: Denmark: This one is fine.

United States, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day! US Navy: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar, US Navy: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?! United States, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS US Navy: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! US Navy: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND United States, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

USSR: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. East Germany: But – that’s just a trash can. USSR: It sure is!

UN: Anyone d- China: Depressed? United States: Drained? Chad: Dumb? North Korea: Disliked? UN: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

Liechtenstein: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Switzerland: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. United States: Three of us saw it, Switzerland. How do you explain that? Switzerland: *points at United States* Sleep deprivation. *points at Russia* Paranoia. *points at Florida* Delusional personality disorder.

And on that note, I think that’s enough for one post. Here’s the link to the generator if you want to give it a shot: https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com/

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

Okay okay, so Norway, Denmark, England, Germany, and Iceland but this time their gf IS dumber than a brick but what she lacks in book smarts she makes up for in kindness and emotional intelligence? Like, she’s so dumb, but she’s very good at reading cues and knowing just whatcha need to feel better and is so soft and loving?

And as they say, there's a difference between book smarts, and street smarts! (Just a side note, I don't believe in people being 'dumb'. We all have limits, and strengths others may not have ❤️)

Norway, Denmark, Iceland, England, and Germany with a S/O who lacks Book Smarts!

Norway:

He's going to be the biggest person to either not really notice, or care, how smart someone is.

Give or take rude arrogance.

He's a very calm and patient guy so it's not that big of a deal if he finds himself explaining things to his S/O

Especially because he's a bit of a courious person himself, so who is he to judge?

Every now and then he does give a bit of a chuckle at their confusion, and jokingly likes to say "What would you do without me?"

He's not trying to be mean, he just wants them to know he's always there for them, especially because they're always there for him.

Denmark:

Naturally he can be a bit of an airhead, so I can see the both of them spacing out every now and then

But his positive attitude certainly helps him navigate anything his S/O lacks.

But he didn't really fall for them for their smarts- their personality sent him to the moon and back.

He kind of enjoys the relaxing, and giddy parts of their relationship.

He doesn't have to uphold any kind of high standards when they're together, and it's just nice, ya know?

He was surprised when they came to his aid the first time he was down in the dumps.

Even with his fake smile, the fact the knew better made his heart skip a beat.

He's wrapped around their finger and everyone knows it.

Iceland:

Two adorable, and semi clueless beans in a pot!

He's also a bit on the dumb scale, especially with social interactions, so they're pretty much ying and yang.

Though if he ever picks up on people being cruel or taking advantage of his S/O he's immediately all over it.

Really appreciates their love and paitence with him

Won't admit it, but they make his heart skip a beat, and he adores them more than he could ever say.

England:

At first it made him think of America

But then he saw how gentle and sweet they were and that's when cupid put an arrow through his heart.

He tried so hard to hide his feelings, but it did not work

Doesn't think they're really dumb actually.

He just assumes their really chill and likes asking him for help with stuff

So long they get to be together what do book smarts matter anyway?

He's really a hopeless romantic.

Germany:

Oh don't worry.

He doesn't notice, and compared to most of the other countries they're probably smarter than them anyway.

And we all know Germany falls for these kind of people anyway and he can't stop thinking about their cute giggle when they realize how silly they've been

Funny thing is he also starts doing dumb things because he's so blinded by his own love

Find both of them tripping over their feet on the way to their first date.

He really does love their emotional intelligence, which is something he doesn't really lack, but needs a better example; via his S/O

By the way the amount of mush that goes on between them is kind of overly sweet, but hey, whatever works.

Don't cross his S/O unless you want to get messed up.

[askthetomatogang]

Belgium and Romano, what’s the nicest date you ever went on? Or do the others have better date stories?

Belgium- All our dates are nice, it doesn't really matter we do as long as I can send time with Romano.

Romano- That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me...

Spain- Romano are you crying?

Romano, wiping his eyes- No, shut up!

Portugal- Well since they're going to boring I'll tell you about my best date ever, it was with Netherlands and we went for this romantic walk. It was really nice, the weather was perfect and we had seen a rabbit earlier so Ned was in a good mood. But then we accidentally saw this couple having a picnic so we decided to ruin it for the guy. We made scary noises to lure the guy away from the girl then we beat him up together, it was great.

Spain- That sounds kind of like my worst date ever.....hey wait I was that guy, you two were the masked guys who beat me up!?

Portugal- Yeah that's what made it fun

Belgium- Ah so that's why Spain just abandoned me on that date.

Luxembourg- The only date I've ever been on was the set up one with Norway. Though we did become friends after so it wasn't that bad.

Netherlands- I guess my first date with Denmark? There wasn't particularly anything special about it but it just felt like the best date. Probably because after waiting for so long we were finally on a date together.

[deep-hearts-core]

2022: semifinal one

AAAA okay! so i watched this yesterday with my partner and didn't take notes, BUT i'm going to go through and rewatch it again (as though anyone on tumblr cares abt my thoughts) and review at least the songs. maybe not the hosting though.

Albania I hated this in studio, but I feel like it was a strong opener. Ronela performed really well live and I found myself enjoying this. Some of the camera angles were a bit weird but this wasn't nearly as bad live as I'd thought it would be; it was overall a strong performance and I'm shocked it didn't qualify. Even though I don't like this style of music.

Latvia It was still quite fun, I liked their suits and they did well live and the guy in the green had a lot of energy. But I guess I wish they'd done a little more with it. I was oddly reminded of 2014's Pollaponk (Ileana, if you're reading this, know I misspelled that as Peppaponk at first).

Lithuania I was so sure this wasn't going to qualify, and then it did! And I'm delighted! Monika and the staging team did a great job. It felt really intimate and evocative of the classic contest and the way Monika was styled and the way she moves does an incredible job of evoking that as well. Also her sparkly dress is gorgeous.

Switzerland I remain unimpressed by the song and his voice, but they did a great job staging this one, and I laughed out loud when he dropped the mic stand and it literally bounced on the floor.

Slovenia Yeah I mean it wasn't that impressive. I liked their suits.

Ukraine Expected a little better from the staging, but given the... yknow... i guess I ought to cut them some slack. I maintain that this would have qualified even without the war.

Bulgaria Yeah, no surprises here. Nice to see Stoyan there jamming out I guess.

Netherlands This song has meant a lot to me lately. I've been struggling with my mental health quite a lot. And it was beautifully sung and the Netherlands shockingly did a wonderful job with this staging - it's evocative of Sweden 2014, Belgium 2017, and of course Arcade itself. Stien looked a bit nervous onstage but honestly I would be too if I were singing about my mental health struggles to an audience of millions. Wonderful job.

Moldova Was expecting a little weirder, tbqh. But the Advahov brothers look quite happy to be there, and I LOVED the visual of using train lines to make traditional Dacian patterns.

Portugal Live vocals left a bit to be desired, but I liked the staging. This still isn't very high on my list but suddenly I wonder if this could win this year.

Croatia This NEEDED a costume change. Mia needed to rip her dress off and have a littler dress underneath. And maybe it would have been better if the whole thing were sung in Croatian, she seemed a little more invested there at the end.

Denmark It's not the best girl band ever but for Eurovision it's alright. I don't like their outfits. And honestly the disconnect between the first and second verses, how long it takes for the guitars to kick in, is probably why this didn't do so well. But once it picks up I really do enjoy it.

Austria This one just sucked lol worst performance of the night. Sorry to Sarah Z I guess. It is the thing that it is which is mediocre Euroclub, it was badly staged, and Pia sounds strained.

Iceland I'm glad they went with the nf staging. Idk, it's nice to listen to but I feel like it loses a lot live, it's very quiet and while that can be nice it's like. I don't know. Maybe I'm still stuck on that ill-advised major chord at the end. It's nice that they qualified and I'd like them to do well but I wished the song had just a little more.

Greece Her outfit is extremely Victorian ghost, I don't know what's up with the chairs onstage, I am still weirded out by these lyrics. HOWEVER. Greece made one good choice this year and that was by putting the high note clip as the recap. Definitely a smart move.

Norway Yeah. it is the thing that it is. It sure is, huh. It's fun. My girlfriend really liked it. Not really for me.

Armenia On the one hand, the all-white post-it quilt whatever staging really does not look good. On the other hand, this sort of staging worked really well for I think it was Malta 2019 - makes the stage look smaller, makes Rosa have more stage presence.

Miscellaneous Thoughts Hosts seem cutely comfortable with each other. I liked their lil hug. Even if Laura seems a little too comfy with the male hosts. I also liked the postcards! They'll probably look pretty cheap in a couple of years but for now they're cool.

My personal qualifiers: Lithuania, Netherlands, Albania, Croatia, Norway, Moldova, Greece, Ukraine, Denmark, Switzerland