#HELP THIS IS SO LONG TLDR AT THE END BTW

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

MegaCee would probably be where Arcee is the super innocent bean to help turn the murderous terrorist of a Decepticon into a more neutral character in terms of alignment. In my AU, Arcee is a gladiator forced to fight by being drugged with dark Energon while Megatron is a seasoned fighter who climbed the ranks high enough to spectate the fights. TLDR: Gladiators becoming besties and then one becomes an Autobot.

StarCee would be probably in the same universe, or if Starscream got his shit kicked in a little too hard by Megatron and was left for dead. Arcee finds him, fixes him, and keeps him with the Autobots. TLDR: She fixes his mommy issues after they get into bitch fights.

Both art works are mine. I had to delete my old account, so I'll try to re-upload stuff. BTW, this is for a fanfic I'm writing. I'll probably post it when it's done.

I'm high off of two days of sleep deprivation. IDK WHAT I'M SAYING ANYMORE LMFAO

EDIT: So, I was thinking a little bit more about MegaCee and remembered the rest of the lore kinda, I'll explain more based on the results of the pole, but essentially, in my universe, the Quintessons took Arcee while she was young, I'm talking like- five, and then experimented on her, destroying her body, ripping apart every organ, Gorey shit, etc, then hyking her ass up on dark Energon injected into her to make her viscous and kill all her cellmates. Then they entered her into an illegal gladiator ring that was like a gambling thing, bets and whatnot, then the whole Megatron thing I stated before, he was abandoned and trained by the bots responsible for the ring, meeting Orion Pax/ Optimus during it, then their falling out, and Megatron rose higher in the ranks. Arcee climbed the ladder of ranks in the ring due to her brutal and forced way of combat. Megatron almost formed an infatuation with her brutality and when it came time for them to fight one another, he gave her an opportunity. To join his cause. She accepted, they both killed practically everyone, and she became a spy for him to report back with Intel Sound wave could not. Because of the blue optics she has and her overall cuteness, she appears harmless and no one has suspected a thing. She no longer is hooked on the dark Energon, but kills out of loyalty for the most part. She does weep alone after every Decepticon life she had to take during the battles in order to not look suspicious.

Then for StarCee, to make it fair with the other ship, would be where Arcee is the same with this universe, but grows closer to Starscream, despite his jealousy of Megatron's attention being on her. Starscream, like in one of the comics, was abandoned by his mother figure, but in my universe Thundercracker and Skywarp are canonically his brothers, and he was responsible for himself and them. Due to him having to be an adult at such a young age, it could explain why he's more childish and bratty when older. This will probably end in both Arcee fully defecting to the Autobots and Starscream to join her, causing drama and shit to blow up.

Arcee will most likely be the therapy mom in both of these lol. DAMN. THIS WAS LONG AND IM SORRY. IM TIRED YALL

[salvatwh0re]

Hey girl! you explained really well why you think affirming for others won’t help but i honestly think that if you were to affirm for me/your followers, i personally would enter regardless

also you did say that you are now wanting to help others enter the void so, that’s going to happen but if i just may add in a lil bit of suggestion, maybe you could ask us to do a couple of things like a routine and affirm that “who ever follows this routine will enter the void regardless of everything in all realities”

i think it could be fun and a nice experience/experiment cause a blogger had done this before and had many success stories! like girl if you come up with something today i’m down to do it and share my success story with you right after cause i’m that confident it would work you know?

if you enter the void easily and instantly and could be down for this, i’d be so grateful for you giving this a chance, it’s worth a try imo

(as for others who can’t enter just yet cause of their mindset or something, we know you’ve got their backs too, cause you are starting a challenge soon right so they can work on their mindset and tap in the void then!)

i know mostly everyone presses on this individualist approach that you should be the one entering on your own account but i think we all go to help when it’s required, we go to the doc when we are sick, we go to tarot readers when we need a bit guidance and etc

tldr: we go to certain experts for their advice/help when it’s required! we live in a society and we rely on others for a bit of support every now and then!

and as for me i know that you entering the void and affirming for us would be a boost that could help me enter and be done with my terrible 3D circumstances once and for all so why not try!! i’m sure many people could relate w this and be so grateful for your help too

i have been trying for the void since years atp so i just know your help could seriously change this not just for me but a lot of people who are in the same boat pretty much. Could try it as a lil experiment and then go back to your challenge of course and what you have been planning! I really hope you give this a thought! Thank you!

(also you’re really really pretty btw!!!!) and i wanna go to machu picchu too!!!

Hii! omg this was a whole persuasive essay 😱

I must say you’re very good at writing lol. I actually didn’t want to mention this just yet but since you brought it up, i have seen that blogger and was very much inspired by it (hence why i’m starting a challenge). Also my subliminals too are a part of the experience.

I know it’s not my place to decide for yall, but i know that you will very much appreciate entering on your own. I’m always here to help, and i know it’s frustrating not seeing any movement after years of trying (trust me i’ve been there). But believe me when i tell you you’re gonna be so mad at yourself when you realize just how easy tapping into the void state is. Like genuinely im not even saying this because i do it all the time now. When i first tapped in and manifested everything, I got out and felt like the biggest dummy ever (not calling yall dumb btw 😭).

The point is, yall are simply just over complicating it and i’m actually so upset that it took me so many years to realize just how easy it is cause i could’ve had my dream life a long time ago and I wouldn’t have had to go through what i went through.

With my challenge (i promise it’s coming out sooner than you expect just bear with me 🙏🏽) you’ll definitely start realizing that on your own, with a little help on my end of course. What i don’t want to do, and will not do is all the work for you. Even though it doesn’t require much work on your end, the eye opening and truly awakening experience of finally pushing through was honestly the most humbling and beautiful experience ever. Like i will honestly never take anything for granted again because i’m just so grateful that i have the ability to manifest anything I want now.

When you’re first starting out you always think about it as an escape or like “I can have anything I want”. But once you actually do and you’re able to go about life and actually enjoy it with no worries whatsoever it’s just so amazing, I have no words for it.

But like i said in one of my other posts, some things in life are worth working/fighting for, and although the void state is truly the simplest thing ever (i blame tumblr and shiftok for overcomplicating it), i believe it’s one of those things that you need to experience and go through on your own cause it truly is such a personal and intimate journey with yourself. I’ve learned so much about myself on a spiritual level like honestly i cannot even express it in words.

I know some of you guys have been trying for months and even years (i was in your shoes once too, before i tapped in i was 2.5 years in) but follow through with my challenge, don’t give up on yourself and i promise you every thing will change for the better!

So again to answer your question, yes I am absolutely doing that, just in my own way. It might be frustrating to hear (i would know i hated when people would say this when i was struggling but in the end im grateful for it), but you honestly need to do this for yourself. I don’t know any of you personally and no matter how much you tell me about yourself and your circumstances i will never truly understand you or have your same perspective on life, so in reality you the only person who can truly help you is yourself. Look within first before you go outside of you for help. For some of you, you’ve already tried everything and I understand your frustration but also have some patience with yourself.

I promise you won’t be disappointed with my challenge ( it is being very carefully crafted, also i’m just having so much fun making it!)

I hope this answer was satisfactory for you! if there’s anything else you wanna suggest that i add to my challenge go right ahead! But again in short; my answer is yes :)

[c-cw-f-saeko]

tell me your name (tesso and seonhee headcanons 2/3)

they moved out of the way so i could take a picture of mt. fuji -> loose recreation of this image 

hi !! i thought i’d finish this tesso and seonhee (separate and together) headcanon masterpost. it covers their individual backstory, how they met and how their relationship grew.

btw i made another headcanon masterpost about the liumang here 🤩 it wouldn't be a bad idea to read it before this one !

i warn that this is the ultimate yapping session LOL so it's long and very image heavy OOPS! there are more than 30 images, i wanted to add more but will stop there for now. check the bottom of the post for some straightforward headcanons (and a TLDR).

also, please pretend the entire timeline makes sense.....i won't beat myself over ageless characters not fitting 100% with documented events 😭 (imo seonhee is 34 and tesso is 37 currently) nvm my guess for seonhee but tesso is surely 37

also, the two fics i wrote heavily tie to this (don't mind the last one). i won't say you need to read them to understand, but i recommend reading them (BC I COOKED!) it'll be linked when needed.

- wang tielin

not completely accurate because he shouldn't have his scars but i'm too lazy to re-do the texture from scratch... sorry tielin 💔

birth name is wang tielin

born in japan. lived in the countryside with his uncle for the longest he could remember.

vowed to his childhood friend to live on the straight and narrow no matter what (hahaha)

a promise to keep was to become rich and share with their family when they grow up.

went to school just because, but had no plans nor dreams in particular. never stirred trouble.

was always kinda bland, but made an effort to become and dress "cooler" after coming to kamurocho (look at the fit please 😭 it was definitely a phase). this is part of the stuff tesso left behind (including his real name). would've preferred no one he knows today met him during that time.

zhao tried time and time again to make tesso show him pictures of him when he was younger but tesso claims to have none. zhao even got seonhee on the task and was ready to put down a good chunk of cash to make it happen. unfortunately for him, tesso was a nobody that truly came out of nowhere according to the geomijul (seonhee just lied 🤩 sorry tianyou).

-> long before the liumang

he came from some city in the country side where nothing really happens. his aunt and uncle took care of him and sent went to school. he was expected to take on his uncle’s restaurant since he was helping out from time to time and that’s what his uncle wanted anyway. 

how can i put it… as long he found a way to feed himself and have a roof over his head, he didn’t have a goal to attain (like a goal career or whatever). he had no aspirations as in “i guess i’ll live” 😍 

though, he had a close friend called liwei. they spent most of their time at school and outside together doing whatever. unlike tesso, liwei had big dreams of finally making it out go the “boring” countryside and establishing himself in a big city, becoming the wealthiest person of his family to provide for his parents. he had a passion about going to especially kamurocho because it was the complete opposite of their current lives. tesso's response to liwei was mostly -> “i support you!” he kinda admired liwei for having determined ambition. 

-> a bit before the liumang 

though, liwei ended up getting killed because a hit was ordered by a bunch of strangers on seemingly the wrong person. not a lot of clues were left behind, but tesso was adamant about it being a mistake since the two of them always swore on being on the straight and narrow (ironically).

so, tesso decided to leave his hometown in the countryside to find out what happened, who killed liwei and how the mix-up happened in the first place.

it lead him to many big cities (like kamurocho) though he navigated a bit clumsily with his words (talking a bit too carelessly about “i’m looking for such such that killed such and such, not knowing the type of place he was getting into), tesso ends up getting jumped by the local chinese mafia at least twice 😭 the clues he finds leads him into yokohama and bro gets jumped again 😭

all to figure out the true culprit was guys from yokohama's chinatown and going up front to them was the worst idea ever. instead, he joins the liumang (at first for refuge as outsider chinese people were vulnerable to trouble between seiryu/liumang and liumang/chinatown). then, in hopes of giving another meaning to his life and eventually seek justice for liwei’s murder.

-> in the liumang 

won't go too much in detail here, but tesso ends up being recruited personally by zhao as a liumang officer through a fight - given the exploit of him being able to scratch his jacket with his claws (and zhao scratched his face across his nose and cheeks with his sabre 😍)

- sakura, the number one hostess

long ago in kamurocho, seonhee used to be an hostess called sakura. remnants of the jingweon mafia rejected by mainland and local koreans (that later formed the geomijul) survived  the best they could with low-level information dealing. they used cabaret clubs to get info out of the local population. 

moving left and right with her mother, it was lucrative enough for her to be able to fend for the two of them — even if it was temporary, she would be doing it until they’d be able to find some sort of stability. 

eventually, the cabaret club was disbanded due to more prominent gangs taking over kamurocho, basically forcing the geomijul out of the city (to later end up yokohama).

in the move, the geomijul was very unstable; most members falling into despair as they were forced out of of home one more time.

seonhee was one of the few people to step up to rally the remaining people together. if they were wavering in the faith of surviving their predicament, the geomijul wouldn't even survive. she did everything she could to make sure fellow members wouldn't walk astray and find them a new home.

being one of people that proposed lodging the geomijul between the seiryu clan and the liumang and reprise their information dealing activities. it was through her sheer determination and in the success of securing the geomijul in yokohama that seonhee was made leader (despite being that young and a woman) jumping over all the oldheads.

fun fact, after leaving the cabaret club, she vowed to herself to never do that type of work ever again.

- meeting for the first time in kamurocho

bro came dressed like that to the luxury club 😭 first timer spotted!! fresh meat here!!!!!!

one promise he made to himself was to realize one of liwei’s dreams, no matter how futile it was. so, he gathered most of his money and decided to light it up for one night in kamurocho in his honour. he ended up going to the first cabaret club he laid eyes on - the one owned by the geomijul.

given the way he was dressed (lol) and the fact he had never been in the city before, seonhee (the number one hostess at the time) was tasked of  tending his table. she usually handled the most "suspicious" customers. 

that's what she thought at first, but past their initial talk, she really did find out he was just young random dude trying out the cabaret clubs for the first time. 

“is it your first time here?” “yeah, there isn’t stuff like this where i live” and so on. funny enough, he turned the conversation back on her a lot so she could ramble about the city and the type of work she did (life in the countryside is boring and uneventful anyway). it caused her to indirectly talk about the geomijul — tesso couldn’t know, her words still applied to the cabaret club dynamic. “the streets are competitive so we are working hard to stay on top!” and how teamwork was the most important thing at the end of the day, etc.

they had a good time talking and tesso was glad to find out city girls were so friendly. he had the impression that he’d be eaten alive, but he was doing ok so far. 

he touched briefly on the real reason he visited kamurocho (thought to himself it would defeat the purpose to not mention it). though, seonhee was smart to not make him linger on the subject by proposing to toast in his honor. tesso agreed, he was there to celebrate and she had made the right call. 

[sorry for the lack of continuity here but i can't being myself to write more atm. will evetually expand that part into a fic.]

- meeting for the second time in yokohama

tesso was always one of the officers zhao relied on the most. for example, he was leading the men sent by zhao after nanba through the city.

so, after mabuchi's overturned coup-d'etat and seonhee taking over the liumang, zhao named tesso as the most reliable man under him and could definitely provide great support in mending the geomijul and liumang together - zhao assured seonhee she could rely on tesso to bridge the two factions.

seonhee was quick to recognize tesso right away, thinking hard about where she had seen such a familiar face before - and the options were very little. it didn't take long for her to realize that it was the same guy she met at the cabaret club years ago. she thought about playing it cool and pretending they never met before, "he probably forgot anyway" and it's not like she looks exactly the same as she did. but she couldn't really shake off the possibility of him remembering. still, she plays it off in front of zhao

for as long as tesso remembers, the geomijul was a very secretive organization and most liumang didn't even know who the boss was and what they looked like. so he rolled with the assumption of having never met them before. so, of course, when he officially met seonhee for the first time, he didn't recognize her. at least at first 😭

- the underworld post mabuchi

because of fusion of the underworld, there was a lot of re-structuring to (such as combining certain cashflows, identifying businesses to assign new leaders to look after them, etc.) it was challenging especially after mabuchi basically left the liumang in shambles and with a lot of defecting members.

tesso helped out sorting out the mess with seonhee personally; it was easier to go through everything with someone that new the ordeal from top to bottom (thanks to zhao). the little time they had was dedicated to fixing the whole organization. at that time, seonhee relegated a lot of leading responsibilities to joongi while tesso did the same with his subordinates.

that's all it was; hours in a corner of the geomijul (usually in the middle of the night) sorting through hundred of files.

at first, it was awkward. tesso had never seen who led the geomijul before and the reality was very far from this expectations. starting at the fact he didn't even thought the geomijul had a woman at its head because of the rumours running the liumang. a detail zhao never bothered bringing up before they met.

zhao's funky and malleable nature was replaced by something more rigid, stern at times but always stood on business. it was different, but tesso went along with it. her style was definitely gonna bring the liumang and geomijul back on its feet.

still, he spoke to her with the same clumsiness as he did with zhao. distant in his words, just like a subordinate should be to its leader. she didn't mind, especially when she did most of the talking anyway.

that's how their routine was at the start: meet, sort documents, leave — there wasn't anything else more to it.

but, something didn't feel quite right.

the more he heard her talk, the more he was sure to have met her before. the words she used, her tone... it felt so familiar. and he had plenty of time to think about it. there was no doubt, she definitely was that girl from the cabaret club...

he kept it to himself and vowed to pretend he's mistaken. the last thing he could do was to bring it up first and be wrong. he would continue to behave the same as he ever did. given their circumstances, he could assume she had left her old life behind as well.

though, irony seeped from his pores, it was stronger than him. the coincidence was a bit humorous; the two of them meeting again with different names and under these unlikely circumstances. he kept his stun under wraps - or at least tried to.

from lingering gazes when she wasn't looking to the way she held herself, tesso recalled the selfless woman he met long ago in kamurocho. despite the heavy facade she always wore, she played it off well, how, in the midst of her words, always passed others before herself.

even with her bolder style, and it's not like she changed much: she was still as beautiful as ever and had that unwavering aura fit of a born leader.

perhaps, he had made his realization too obvious.

ever since zhao presented tesso to seonhee, she knew they had met before. thus, sat quietly with the intent of pretending she was someone else. however, tesso's demeanour changed out of the blue. he seemed a bit more awkward and careful in his words.

though, seonhee resigned on pretending. "tesso? is that how you call yourself these days?" shortly followed with his real name. she asks, chuckling a bit. perhaps, he could've picked something more subtle. he did abandon his birth name for this alias he wasn't really sure whom give it to him. but it doesn't really matter. it just meant was a completely different man now.

it was a bit ironic; they are able to have to shy laugh about it, the ice is starting to melt between them.

- the bridge between the geomijul and yokohama liumang

overall, the union between the geomijul and liumang was welcome by its members. given the situation they both were in - one left without a leader and the other very vulnerable to outside threats. it was worth leaving residual animosity behind and cooperate for the sake of keeping yokohama safe.

so, antagonists to seonhee taking over after zhao were far and between - mainly geomijul oldheads (like seo hancheol 😍 rip bozo) and the few remaining mabuchi enjoyers (like zheng because yes in this timeline bro didn’t get banished out of yokohama).

so, not only did tesso assist seonhee in the merge of the two groups, but he kinda became for the liumang what joongi is for the geomijul: the first commander under the leader and first rep for the liumang. so, in case of trouble or any reference needed from geomijul members, they could ask him if needed. tesso is known to get along with younger folks (canon) so it helps a lot!

overall, the underworld is structured like this:

- factions subordinates (tesso and the geomijul)

yeona calls tesso liumang oppa 😭 she's the one that got tesso to read manga

i feel like yeona would get along well with these two LOL she can get info on joongi from tesso since they work on another level (joongi hides his cringy side from his subordinates). also, she tends to tease seonhee a bit about not being single anymore 😭 in a little sister-big sister type of way. bc like it's not like they ever announced anything, but yeona just picks up on vibes like that 😭 there's banter between seonhee and her, but it's in good faith!! there are so little women in the geomijul, so yeona made sure to stick with

"seonhee unnie, that's your boyfriend isn't it?" she didn't say that, but her eyes kinda did 😭 yeona always knows when something is up about her big sister. this whole exchange happened while tesso was reading his notes LOL 😭

well kinda... because now that seonhee is taken, han-sama (joongi) can stop worrying about seonhee's relationship status.

- advisor to advisor (tesso and joongi)

"Tha- That's not possible! She couldn't have a boyfriend! Some random man from who-knows-where!?" (direct canon quote istg 😭)

"some random man from who-knows-where" that's literally what tesso was to joongi for awhile. 

of course, he knew tesso was one of the closest subordinates of zhao. but he wanted to dig out his history as much as he could before even asking zhao about it. surprise came when he didn’t find much out of the geomijul surveillance system — there was no way to know for sure how nor when he got in the city. however, joongi was adamant about not asking seonhee about it just yet. 

sure, tesso and seonhee never announced they were together (for a very long time). but joongi picked up the smallest changes of seonhee's demeanour and her mannerisms. she tried her best to conceal it, but nothing went past his eye. and it was very clear to him... seonhee was indeed dating that random man.

at first, it was veiled concern but joongi believed seonhee could do better. he thought seonhee could aim for someone more or at least just as good looking than him (im sorry LOL but exhibit A) and someone as refined as her and not so… contradictory in looks and personality (tesso looks rough with a lot of distinctive features but is rather simple). so, first impression wise, it was off to a rocky start. 

despite being the two most important members of the geomijul and liumang, joongi and tesso didn’t really get along. tesso thought joongi was arrogant and preferred dealing with his subordinates instead (like yeona with whom he was able to work well with). 

“don’t mind han-sama. he’ll get over it eventually…” tesso still has no clue what she means by that

the impression of tesso and joongi not getting along wasn't setting a good example for the fellow geomijul and liumang members. while tesso was unsure about the whole thing, joongi struggled moving on for a bit. even seonhee wasn't sure of what was going on between the two.

it took yeona telling on joongi's business back to seonhee for her to set the record straight. no one knows for sure what she has said, but their short discussion was followed by a shy apology from joongi, blaming the geomijul's eternal lack of trust of others for his behaviour and vowed to be as reliable as ever. actually, that was a move from seonhee where she wouldn't let a reason so petty cloud joongi and tesso's relationship further. it was better if tesso didn't know (lol).......

in joongi's opinion, there was too many red flags or dubious points about tesso and couldn’t figure out where nor when they even met (as seonhee never mentioned him before). so, everything came to him as a surprise. 

deep down, the hurt joongi felt was because seonhee didn’t tell him about it first when they shared pretty much everything. he took it as a sign of being unworthy of her trust. understanding it didn’t come from malice, joongi slowly opened up to tesso - it was iffy at first, there was still moments when he was a bit rude despite him. it took time, but joongi trusted seonhee in her decision and agreed that tesso wasn’t so bad after all (“albeit a bit goofy and doesn’t have a presentation as neat as I do”). all that mattered at the end of the day was seonhee’s wellbeing and she seems happy. bro got over himself…

- relationship ladder

(i'm not gonna extend myself too much on this but) the particular thing about them is how the closer they got, the place to work on business changed as well.

this is the fish shop next to eomoni's vow 😭

it started at the corner of the geomijul but surely became eomoni's vow (which is just my first fic LOL) - right at the time when the city was as calm as ever and the liumang and geomijul were combined together. members were more comfortable walking the streets so the need to remain miles of tunnels under the surface wasn't as needed.

still, they usually met in the middle of the night to work on stuff, but just end up eating and drinking the hours away. they got in the habit of playing mahjong against each-other singing karaoke on rare occasion (amongst other things).

next location is qing jin.

omg bro with the three piece suit 😭

it's upgrade from eomoni's vow since the top floor has a dress code 😍 you have to be put together to get in there so dresses and dress shirts are a must.

tesso debated for awhile before inviting her. it was a bit of a bold move, but he knew qing jin would be more of her taste (more spacious, luxurious and an entire different palate) AND it was still very private.

tesso actually picked the artwork (see the tomato picture below) and the room divider is from lin lin

they went a few times, and that was then tesso told seonhee about zhao's apartment complex and eventually advanced the idea to share a spot there. won't go over the details again LOL but you get the idea 🤩

knowing she'd be coming, tesso leaves her sweets 🥹 he's usually more busy on foot (you know assassination quests 🤩), but will drop by before she does if he has other stuff to do for the day.

seonhee definitely spends more time there since she doesn't have to be out carrying missions out on the streets and enjoys the privacy. it's seemingly normal when compared to the gloominess of the geomijul and restaurant row.

- trip to kyoto

this is basically the fic i wrote last year - tesso and seonhee go on a trip to kyoto. (PLEASE READ IT I COOKED!!! 😭) the fic in a nutshell:

i am kidding of course

despite being a higher ranked officer with more responsibilities, he’s always stuck at the “uhhhh taking some time off like that kinda feels unfair” but was bullied convinced by zhao to take some anyway. yokohama had been peaceful for awhile now and his subordinates could run well without him around for a few days.

so take the bullet train to osaka only to come back three days and four nights later. notably, they visit the nonomiya shrine (the shrine of love woooooooohooooo, no it is actually!), tesso dedicates her a poem and they stay in a machiya.

funny enough, i managed to make 3d models pretty close to the original drawings (iykyk) so it's fun!

pretty!!!!!!!!! 😭

- miscellaneous

funny thing they do -> rock paper scissors and they talk to each-other the native tongue of whoever wins for a day. seonhee tends to win often; she's just built like that.

during yua's first year at seiryo, tesso and seonhee attended the parent-student meeting together in place of her uncle (yua's legal guardian at the time). to meet sawa-sensei (yes she lived).

negative trait

tesso : can be too passive | seonhee : lacks humility

positive trait 

tesso: dependable | seonhee: diligent 

strength against the other

tesso: resistant to dominatrix energy | seonhee: resistant to tianyou

their weakness coming from the other

tesso: her cute mannerisms | seonhee: him calling her a specific petname (b......ba......omg i can't [dies of cringe])

serious complaint about the other

tesso: sacrificing health for the sake of fashion | seonhee: sleeps too little

unserious complaint about the other 

tesso: lacks stamina | seonhee: grandpa mannerisms at 37

random quirk

tesso: can fall asleep anywhere | seonhee: rarely laughs from her the pit of her stomach

karaoke? 

seonhee: enjoys anything from koda kumi | tesso: either tone deaf or decent, nobody knows… won’t do anything more than adlibs

hobby they got because of the other

tesso: skincare | seonhee: gardening

seonhee enjoys growing tomatoes, amongst other things. on his part, tesso grows nappa cabbages somewhere on a rooftop in restaurant row (mostly for kimchi ofc).

hobby they don’t share

tesso: shopping | seonhee: running

hobby they tried together for the first time

dancing (thank you yagami)

seonhee is pissed bc yagami made them do something really hard as a tryout. it's not easy, but it's simple at least so they managed!

thing they do when sick

tesso: eats lemons like oranges | seonhee: drinks tea with every single aromatic she can find (ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, peppercorns, etc.)

last thing they fought about

seonhee being frustrated at tesso’s reluctance to take over the liumang, leading her to talk ill of zhao’s ways of leadership. though, seonhee is too proud to apologize first and they didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. even zhao and saeko picked up on the fact they were kinda avoiding each other. 

one thing they struggled with

(especially tesso at the start) treat each-other on equal footing. he was kinda confused at how to behave, whether to be or to not be subservient, like.....

not that it was his second nature, but that's what he used to for the longest time. so, he didn't mind at all.

seonhee was a bit frustrated at the need to spell it out, but it was better that way. at least, everything was clear between them from that point on.

for zhao's costume party [i'll write about this later? maybe?]

(actually seonhee convinced tesso but) they did matching costumes of leon kennedy and ada wong from RE.

TL;DR: i think there are moments when seonhee shares more of herself to someone on equal footing, moments where she's more vulnerable and has room to step away from her idolized self.

i think there are moments when tesso has to put himself first, moments when he must learn to not overextend himself at his own expense.

despite the unlikely circumstances and complicated conditions, i think they would be able to do that together. tesso and seonhee are polar opposites on so many things and i think they can learn a lot from each-other.

i'll make another post with all different outfits they had soon because the volume of models i made 😭

next headcanon post is either going to be ichitesso on dondoko island or yua.....idk yet........

and yes in my book miku was on dondoko island LOL

and before you ask, yes i smoke crack! thank you for coming to my ted talk!

[prototypelq]

Wonder if Larian's games could have been better if like, at least 20% of content from them had been cut.

Listen, listen, before you say anything - I love Larian and their mentality. This team is making incredible games, and the amount of creative energy that is poured into each of their releases is incredible. Playing their games is a joy, and hilarious and amazing.

But, but.

There can be too much of a good thing. And I don't think Larian's ever learned that...

Do you know the average percentage of players that actually finish the main story in games? 30-40% if we look at achievements across different platforms. That is 60-70% of players who never saw the end of the main story.

I've been replaying DOS2, and it's a Joy to play through, however the 'joke' that tutorial level takes about 10-15, maybe even 20 hours to complete is...not a joke. There is beauty in hiding some content, so that only the dedicated players find it, but this doesn't exactly work for RPG systems that heavily depend on level&equipment of your player characters, now does it. This basically forces players to clear out the entire map to be able to progress the story further, and while the tactical aspect of this game is big, I doubt your average player can use it to beat difficulty&enemy level curve.

I had a big DOS2 phase before, my last memories of the game are Beast's quest (BEST COMPANION WHY IS NOONE TALKING ABOUT HIM) in Arx, soo I've been somewhere very near the end of the game. I never finished it because I was frustrated with a lack of direction for the main story for a long time, and Arx was the point where I jumped games.

So yeah, I believe cutting at least 20% of content from each of the acts of that game would have helped keep the main story in focus, plus the time to complete the game might have been more affordable.

Another thing is, from the documentaries on DOS2 development, and with the Larian saying that BG3 production took the studio much closer to the edge of closing, Larian seem to have a systematic problem of forever chasing their ambitions without really caring about their costs. DOS2 development was described as 'trying to build a plane as it is taking off', a lot of features for the game have been added last minute, and BG3 release players are sort of in the same boat. So yeah, some content cutting would have helped out the studio themselves quite a lot, or let them have more time for quality testing and polish.

tldr: I believe Larians are amazing but also head over heels in their production, their games are huge and the nature of their rpg mechanics forces player to play through everything,or never finish the main story, plus the studio have a history of releasing arguably unfinished games*, so I believe they should consider cutting content for future releases both for the studio's sake and to improve the player experience

*don't @ me, DOS2 and BG3 were arguably unfinished on release. That said, Larian's 'unfinished' and Average Game Industry 'Unfinished' are very different instances, I meant that Larian clearly would have benefitted for some polish time before release

btw why the Hell are there built-in Larian-approved player modifications for the games, however Turning Them On is a crime that disables achievements??? Larian, my guys, why.

[beanghostprincess]

Thinking of Sanji introducing Usopp as his boyfriend to Zeff and Usopp being absolutely terrified by this man. He has gone on so many adventures with his crew, faced so many dangers and gone trough so much character development, he truly has changed over the years and become braver as a result… but when he’s faced with this stern faced man who ATE his OWN damn leg he immediatly turns into an overly nervous polite little lad trying to make a good impression. He feels like a tween asking a father if he can take his daughter to prom. Horrified. Zeff not really warming up over the evening doesn’t help matters. He’s polite but distant, which Usopp reads as disdainful as they all eat together and Sanji so effortlessly manages to not be scared but also bicker with his father figure like old times immediately. His boyfriends father HATES him he’s convinced. Until he’s ready to stiffly exchange handshakes at the end of the evening and instead of Zeff crushing his hand the man just looks him straight into the eye and goes „You’re a fine man. I’m glad you’re taking care of my boy.“ and gives him a rough but honest pat on the shoulder before wordlessly going back to work. And from a man this blunt and honest, that’s high praise and Usopp feels like he’s floating for an entire week right after.

Tldr: Zeff instantly accepts Usopp as his son in law but is just that kind ™️ of dad that cannot communicate that stuff properly.

This is the cutest and realest thing,,, And Sanji would, like, be so confused about Usopp being nervous all the time when Zeff is clearly accepting Usopp right away! ('clearly' because the only one who can tell the difference between his emotions is probably Sanji). Sanji would be so confident about it, anyway, because even if Zeff didn't accept Usopp, is that actually going to stop him from dating the sniper? The answer is obviously no, although he does want his father to like Usopp, deep down, instead of getting into another of their fights. But yeah, Zeff is one of those dads and he's also intimidating af so of course Usopp is scared.

Honestly, new concept: Zeff accepts him right away and he genuinely likes Usopp a lot but he has never seen Sanji so in love before and it deeply scares the shit out of him because he doesn't want his kid to end up heartbroken and, well, it's just another reminder that he grew up. And he's one of those dads who's shitty at communicating and seems mad all the time but he actually likes Usopp a lot! However- However!!! Usopp genuinely thinks Zeff hates him, and he has been scared af all day long. Until the end, when Sanji is already heading outside and Usopp and Zeff speak privately. And somehow Usopp manages to be more confident and tell (yell at) Zeff that he has been a great dad to Sanji and he appreciates that but he's not going to let his shitty opinion affect their love!!!!!!!!!!! Zeff loves that, btw. He was worried about his son growing up too fast and ending up heartbroken, but with such a ridiculous (but beautiful) statement like this one, he realizes that yeah, they're still young and he has nothing to worry about, and that at least Sanji has somebody to love him when his fatherly love and protectiveness aren't around.

And then it's basically just a pat on the back, a simple smile, and a: "Now get the fuck out of my restaurant because unlike you two lovebirds I have work to do".

Thank you for this idea btw!! I love when we include Zeff in these things because I think he's a very crucial part of Sanji's character and he would love his favorite people to meet properly.

[critter-itter-corner]

low-key maybe im missing a point but the more ithink about it, i think chapter 3. lacked the critters compared to the amount of advertising we got for them

(lots of stuff under cut in case im pretty long)

love ollie but if he just ends up as a voice the prototype mimicked (FNAF REFERENCE/j), was he necessary?? we could've easily had dogday guide us, and when he had to, he died. it would've made the chase scene/his death a SMIDGE more impactful? considering we would've gotten to become attached and knowing he risked his life to save us and get us out of there

(rq abt ollie he has to be some type of toy/experiment bc there's no damn way a kid survived 10 YEARS without food or clean water. absolute, excuse my french, BULLSHIT)

also low-key why was making it so the rest of the critters all died feel like. a cop out-? like the chapter is pretty long already but im gonna be so real my brain is forgetting certain parts but just saying "yeah everyone except catnap and dogday are dead!!1!11!1111!!!!!" feels so boring and bland

we could've had just IMPLIED moments of the other critters being alive aside from dogday's conversation. like notes or hide outs or their broken pendants hidden in places

also also. what did the other critters even do??? like obviously catnap would put them to sleep and give them horrific nightmares and dogday would probably help guide children to their actives like a leader but the others.......are never mentioned. like not even anything about bubba being in the school to help miss delight teach kids bc he's the smartest critter, or something like hoppy and/or kickin at the playhouse to play around and entertain kids with high energy

idk im not thinking from a gameplay or game design perspective, more like lore so obviously im not taking certain things into consideration. this is just an opinion i have though bc i LOVE THESE STUPID ANIMALS‼️‼️‼️‼️

it's like 2 am ranting abt this so if you're mad just wait till i wake up and reread this lol/j

im just letting the autism win too btw so like rrrrawusgajhw

ONCE AGAIN PLEASE REMEMBER I DONT EXACTLY REMEMBER ALL OF THE LORE FROM CHAP 3!!!! i could be extremely wrong about everything. i also don't have the book so if stuff is explained there. well. too bad‼️ don't take this too seriously btw im just spilling my thoughts

tldr chapter 3, despite being called the smiling critters chapter, didn't have enough smiling critters and im sad and im gonna sue for false advertisement (/J IM NOT ACTUALLY GONNA SUE)

[necrophiliak]

umm. bhaal thoughts nd stuff under the cut. ive seen a lot of stuff mischaracterising/interpreting/whatever and it bothers me. i like him.

bg1+2+3 spoilers btw.

i dont wanna seem uhhh. confrontational or anything so this is just me airing thoughts out cz its true u dont rly Hear from him much directly in bg3 so i guess i get why ppl wouldnt know or think certain stuff. and im not the worlds expert on the topic as much as id like to be. but writing gods in stuff is never easy i think, especially as a fan, since they function on totally different ideas and have worldviews we could never possibly understand, etc etc

i think what bothers me the most is the misconception that bhaal would give a shit what the urge does. he definitely doesnt. the canon bg1+2 is a human male goodguy (derogatory) and even he was still supposedly favoured by bhaal (in that achieving slayer form was from a feeling of 'divine hatred' and not an actual gift since bhaal at the time was dead and he was favoured not for this but in that he was the strongest of all his spawn (this is bg2 stuff btw i highly recommend u play both those games if u liked bg3 durge)) i actually miss how bg2 introduced that form its way better than in 3 but thats a big tangent ToT and i get why since the durge was quite literally made with it in mind anyway he didnt care about the prev spawn because their only purpose was to die anyway. but he doesnt care abt what durge does either. he would not care if he was fucking gortash. the one constant w him is that all he cares about is the end goals, the process doesnt matter at all. i cant be bothered putting screenshots in rn but both the durge's old diary and sarevok say "bhaal cares only for death. death in numbers, death in droves." and the ingame proof is in that even if u refuse to kill isobel u can still get the slayer form by agreeing to accept his gift in the temple. whether u killed isobel or not just determines if u get slayer form early. the other proof is orin, who doesnt follow him as he would ideally want either (too focused on making 'art' with death instead of actually killing) but still gets to be his chosen if u play as tav instead of durge (he also doesnt like the way shes loyal to sarevok more than him) hes pretty pragmatic

also the other thing... abt the butlers. sceleritas isnt there to ensure u are loyal, thats his own prerogative and pride as a butler. tho i think the specifics of him in general are left intentionally vague. the rest of bhaals butlers are always imps, and his own was also an imp (theyre made in his imps image after all), bt sceleritas is made in bhaals image. since he has a glued on nose and the colouring on his face looks like a skull. and the earrings are mirroring the slayers facial horns. thats a bit of a tangent tho umm anyway, my point is that durge got a very special butler for reasons we can only guess at. (tho i enjoy thinking that he really was meant more as a nanny/standin parent figure)

anyway that got sort of long. i love dad a lot. everyones durge can be different frm canon obviously... bt bhaal is an established char, nd a super interesting one (i have a lot of thoughts abt the similarities w mystra+shar especially cz of bg3 and the way sheart+gale narrative's play out bt again thats uhhhhh a HUGE tangent and im not even sure how to word my thoughts)

anyway tldr bhaal is a very hands off parent and doesnt give a shit what u do as long as u get the job done (and i love him very much 🥺)

oh also if u math the years out, durge is 20yrs old at max. and that takes the assumption that bhaal made u ASAP after he was resurrected. trivia. if u wanna read the thing wheree he gets rezzed, its the 'murder at baldurs gate' story which also comes with a rly intensive worldbuilding manual for the city which could help w fanfic or whatever u want. i enjoyed reading it (helping w dnd stuff T_T).

another edit: i doubt anyone except me is rly interested bt i have soooo much to say on the topic of how bhaal treats the urge (positively+unconditionally), sceleritas in general, and the way the urges journey mirrors bhaals own fall from grace and coming back stronger, etc etc, i already wrote half of it on twitter anyway so if theres interest i can share it here too

[ophii]

YOU

Yes, you

Tell me about your faerie OC- /nf

YES!@!! UI LOVE YOU /P

OKOKOKOKOSOOO their name is nova :3 they're a silly little faerie:

them^^ i have a whole backstory written out for them but im gonna tldr it rq!! they were a prince of a fictional city-state called alesdrya but there was a war that happened which caused them to flee to other citystates, specifically one called latyia, where they joined a small team-rocket-esque trio which doesnt have a name quite yet but im gonna make one soon!!! they arent really evil but its nicknamed the evil trio cause the leader ..eats people. so thats why its called the evil trio.. i made the whole over-arching story with my friends btw! but their backstory is made by me!!

silly art of them and their sister figure, stella, who is also part of the evil trio... but theyre wearing their respective adult figures outfits!!!

stella belongs to my sister, @sunny8011 , btw

and the whole written out backstory for nova (+ their actual sister!) is below the cut :3

Nova and Astra were born in Alesdrya to the royal fae family. They lived a pretty average royal life until 2020, when a war broke out between humans and the fae. It was because there were rumors and legends that depicted the fae as evil pranksters, so Mythosonia (the human part, mostly) created a reason to go to war. I should mention that faerie hunters have existed in the other Estarian city-states for a long time, but have been considered illegal in Alesdrya (since the population is 99% fae.) Nova was 6 and Astra was 16 when the war started. Their parents were hanged in the town square as Nova was attempting to be escorted out by some maids. Unfortunately, the maids were assassinated, and Nova fled out of the city-state on foot. Astra was no where to be seen, though, as she was sent into hiding in the castle, being the heir to the throne. Once the war ended in 2022 after both parties decided to call it quits, Astra reemerged and claimed the throne, rebuilding Alesdrya. She has tried to look for Nova, but to no avail. Nova was pretty much a nomad/refugee until they ran into Stella at some point along the way, probably when crossing through Fey'in, the witch-populated city-state, and then they met Aster. Aster convinced (manipulated) them to help him with his evil plans and ideas, and they agreed, having no where to go themselves. Eventually, the two mostly quit being evil, instead just focusing on their magic studies and only periodically helping Aster terrorize humans and such. also nova has no idea astra is alive

[sunsetshifting]

what should i affirm for respawning?

(Quick note: My internet has been failing on and off all day/night, so I might not have another post up tonight, but hopefully it'll be fixed by tomorrow?? So sorry abt that!!)

Doing the asks a lil out of order, sorry this took so long btw!

Before I start, I’m going to quickly clarify the difference between respawning and permashifting, just to make sure you make the best choice! (Affs and advice included at the end.) :>

.

To quickly remind everyone:

Respawning is shifting and scripting that you completely forget your OR/CR. It is completely cutting ties with your original reality, and is irreversible. IT DOES NOT MEAN DYING IN THIS REALITY!!! A version of you will still remain behind, so absolutely DO NOT give up on life here, or make plans to end your own life! It will not, in any way, help to do that. /srs

(I urgently repeat, do not attempt to hurt yourself or take your own life just because you’re desperate to shift. Dying is a long-term solution to temporary problems, and will only forward pain onto those around you, as well as those you care about. Respawning is not about that. Dying is not part of respawning. Self-harm of any kind is not part of respawning. It will not help. Please, take care of yourselves and stay safe.)

Permashifting is shifting and simply not coming back. You still remember your OR/CR perfectly well, but you just willingly don’t come back. This decision is reversible, should you so choose to come back, someday.

So Respawning is permanent, and Permashifting is reversible!

.

Now that that’s cleared up, affirmations for respawning, permashifting, and regular shifting are generally pretty similar.

Any normal affirmations will work, such as “I am shifting”/”I have shifted”/”I am my desired self”/etc etc. That said, there are specific subliminals for respawning which you might find particularly useful! Since it’s such a big decision, I’d recommend ‘shopping around’ a bit on youtube to find some good, reliable sources (should you choose to use them), such as channels like Slade, Kween Subs, and mxrahki. :>

Something that could also help (and that helps in general with shifting) is affirming things specific to your DR self, but as if they’re already true and present in your reality surrounding you. Examples could include affirming your DR self’s name (like saying “My name is XYZ”) or where you live, as well as where you intend to wake up.

If you’re looking for basic affirmations, though, a good list would include smth along the lines of:

I am in my desired reality. I have respawned into my desired reality. I am pure consciousness. I am choosing to experience my desired reality. I am a master shifter. Shifting is as simple as breathing. I shift often.

Alternatively, some people find it easier to phrase the affirmations like questions! This is also an option to try out, if you believe it could help! Those would go more along the lines of:

Why is shifting so easy for me? Why can’t I stop shifting? Why do I shift every time I try? Why do I always shift on the first try? Why do I shift so often? How am I this good at shifting?

.

TLDR: Shifting affirmations between respawning, permashifting, and normal shifting aren't all that different, as it's still the same process, just with a slightly different end result.

Shifting is also super personal, so experiment and see what works best for you! Hopefully that made some sense?? I'm a little tired, but happy to upload something for you all! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send another ask! :3c

<3 Happy Shifting! <3

[pandora15]

what's so weird is that I joined the sw fandom while rebels was airing right? like. by the time I caught up on the movies and tcw, star wars rebels season 3 was about to drop and there were all these hints about obi-wan showing up, so as a brand-new obi-wan fan I was like. HYPED

and I was also like "omg omgomg omgomogmg ewan should come back as obi-wan please it's all i want i'm going through A Lot and him coming back as obi-wan would just really help me get through all the shit i'm going through"

and so yeah obi-wan does show up in rebels which is like :')))))) SUCH A GOOD EPISODE btw and not long after that tcw season 7 was announced so I was like "omg yes even more new obi-wan content! i am thriving!"

and then not long after that the kenobi series was announced and that show made ALL of my dreams come true but now it's like. it's done and I'm so conflicted about whether or not I want a second season (I think I'm leaning more towards I want ewan to come back again but I'm not sure if it should be in the form of a second season, since the series ended on such a perfect note)

but now it's been almost two years since the show and for the first time since I joined the fandom, there's been not much new obi-wan content in tv/movie canon (there are plenty of books and comics though I'm just very behind with my TBR aklsdjfljalsdflafd)

so the fandom just feels different to me y'know? or at least the obi-wan centric part of the fandom feels different. the past few years have been amazing and I really hope we continue to get more obi-wan content in one way or another but I also don't want it to be at the expense of his character. I want it to be right.

but this means less obi-wan content and I'm just trying to come to terms with that :/

TLDR i joined the fandom at a time when a lot was happening with obi-wan's character and now things have settled down after all of that and I'm trying to wrap my head around all of it

[fanby-fckry]

assumption: you like corvids!

anonymously make an assumption about me and i'll confirm/deny it

Ding, ding ding! Correct!

A few days ago, I was talking with my fiancé and for some reason we started assigning each other animals? He said I’d be a chicken and I was so offended, because if I were a bird, I’d be a corvid, no doubt about it!

They’re my absolute favorite bird family. I can’t decide between the Common Raven and the American Crow for favorite specific corvid, because they’re both local and I love them. 🖤

Also, I went on a rant about a game from a let’s play we’re watching together, because in the game you can use ravens to locate food sources, because they fly over fresh kills from the in-game predators (wolves and bears).

Under the cut because it gets long.

Warning: fictional survival-apocalypse scenario and absolutely slanderous representations of corvids, wolves, and bears.

The game also has wolves and bears as automatically hostile. They’ll both attack on sight.

In a real survival scenario, you should be a lot more worried about the ravens than the wolves and bears!

Let me explain.

Wolves have a very specific way of hunting prey. If you don’t run, they won’t chase you. The End. Of course, if you go right up to a fresh kill, there’s a chance they’ll defend it, if you attack them, there’s a chance they may choose self defense, etc., etc.. But overall, wolves are afraid of humans and generally avoid us.

Bears also tend to avoid humans. Make noise so they know you’re coming, and they’ll generally get out of the way. (These were Brown Bears, btw, not Polar Bears. Polar Bears are a whole other can of worms, because they’re lacking in prey and it’s bad enough that they tend to consider us on the menu.)

Now, back to the ravens.

In the game, if ravens are flying over a carcass and the predator(s) that killed the prey are gone, you face no negative consequences for taking it.

*slams fists on table* Bullshit! The ravens are circling it. That’s their meal, now. You do NOT want to be caught stealing from corvids.

Corvids remember faces. Corvids hold grudges. Corvids teach their grudges to their friends and family for generations to come.

Good luck surviving the apocalypse with an unkindness of ravens or a murder of crows on your ass! They’re gonna be out for blood!

They’re going to attack you every time you show your face, and because you’re one of the only humans around, they might attack you even if your face is hidden. Because it’s not to hard to figure out that the human running around with a ski mask and the human that stole their shit are the same guy when there’s only one human for miles!

If I were in a survival-apocalypse situation, I would not fuck with corvids. If I thought I had enough supplies, I might attempt to befriend them? But even that could end messily. Similar risk to having human allies, except that it’s harder to explain a miscommunication to birds who can mimic but likely don’t fully understand human speech.

Pros:

Helps stave off loneliness by having intelligent animal companions

They might help you scavenge and share food in return

They will bring you cool gifts that might be more useful to you than to them

They might defend you if another human attacks

Looks cool as fuck

Cons:

If you slight them, they will choose violence

You may not realize it’s a slight until after the deed is done

Now you’re fucked six ways from Sunday, apocalypse not included

TLDR: Humanity should be less afraid of wolves and more afraid of ravens.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey, I was hoping we could get some advice? We have a semi-recently formed alter who is, in the politest terms we can muster, unkind and harmful. He is actively attempting to harm others in the system, and the body itself. (This is Not an urgent ask btw, take your time!)

We are just wondering exactly if you have any advice on handling him. He has no interest in actually talking with other headmates or anything, so we don't know what's got him so upset or anything. Our gatekeeper(?) has him "isolated," but from past experiences with another alter like this we know that's not the solution and could cause more harm, and is not a permanent solution.

TLDR; We have a "new" alter who is an Issue, we want to help him calm down and not hurt us, but he is completely refusing to communicate or work things out.

We're really just not certain how to help/deal with him without causing all of us any harm. Thank you and I hope you're keeping well! 💕

Hey, we get asked a lot about how to deal with angry, violent, uncooperative, and mean headmates, so a few of our parts wrote this post yesterday (warning, it’s kind of long and references some potentially triggering topics):

That post ^ has a bunch of information from our own experience, research, and time in therapy. We hope something there can help you and that soon you’ll be able to make positive progress with this headmate.

If he’s completely unwilling to talk, then showing him kindness and providing him with his own private outlet might be good ways to start to connect. Dang though I know it sucks and can be really hard showing kindness to unkind alters… but in the end it’ll probably be worth it.

We’re wishing you and your whole system the best of luck with figuring this out. Sorry if this response isn’t actually very helpful…

💫 Parker and 💚 Ralsei

[henry1986]

Guiding (Gale x Tav)

This is my first ever Tumblr post after years of lurking. I wanted to format it differently, but it's been so long so I've written anything that I can't get back into my ao3 account, so here we are. (BleuHenri on there, btw. Wrote a kickass Labyrinth fanfic some years ago now).

This may be the only thing I write or share, but something in me has been longing to share fic again after so long. Had a shitty relationship that crushed my spirit so I stopped doing anything that brought me joy...you know how it be. Now I'm super happy and adjusted to life and letting my old self come back.

The TLDR: Random oneshot about Gale and my named Tav (Fits) from Baldur's Gate because this game is insanely amazing and I fucking love Gale and I love my little oc Fits (urchin tiefling druid who named himself 'Fits' with an s because he just wants to belong).

Summary: Fits doesn't do well with the unknown. So being blinded by a spell in the middle of a battle is not his ideal situation. Cue panic attack, and cue the voice of a certain adorable wizard he's been flirting with for weeks now. Gale to the rescue!

Story Below:

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Dry and rot, what he wouldn’t give to be a child once more, laughing off his mother’s cautions with the arrogance of youth. His current situation is neither fun nor remotely game-like, so it seems unfair that he still has to suffer the drawbacks. Today one of Fits’ few childhood memories has come back to bite him in the tail.

                He’s probably going to murder Volo if they make it out of this mess.

But who is more the fool, he wonders briefly, the one with the ice pick or the one offering himself up like needlepoint? Either way he knows it’s not fair to blame the bard. Mistakes have been made, his party has been ambushed by bandits, and now he can’t see a godsdamned thing, false eye or no. Where just minutes ago his sharp tiefling vision would catch movement in any shadow, now he sees nothing but black. And what’s worse, his companions seem not to have noticed. Well, that’s his fault for breaking formation and getting separated. Stupid, stubborn rock that he is. And now that stubbornness has cost him his sight – possibly even his life.

The sounds of the battle thrash his ears, now sensitive in compensation. Somewhere to the left Karlach’s grunts mix with the dull thud of hammer on shield. The bandits shriek and curse and scream and…gargle? Perhaps that one has just met Astarion’s fangs. It would serve them right for thinking to rob a half-starved group of exhausted travellers. The thought of Gale’s stew simmering back at camp has been on everyone’s minds during the long trek back. To be delayed further has no doubt pissed them off to no end.

                “Desperados and cutthroats I don’t mind, but why did we have to find the only bandits clever enough to find a mage to fight for them?” Karlach had lamented as their attackers had unleashed their secret weapon. Gale had snorted, deriding the man in torn robes as nothing more than a charlatan with a few spell scrolls on hand.

The origin of the magic is a moot point – it hasn’t made Fits any less blind. And now he’s wondering if he should call for help, or if that will alert nearby enemies, and just what is he supposed to do? His mouth is dry as a creek bed in summer. His tail flicks an anxious metronome. The not knowing has always been his undoing. Fits is no stranger to pain and loss, same as many others. If there’s a burden that needs shouldering, he’ll take the weight with few complaints. But the not knowing…the archer he’d seen earlier might still be perched atop that rocky outcrop, not yet aware of his advantage on the blinded druid. Or he might already know, and there are precious few seconds left to find shelter. He might be knocking a fresh arrow right now, as Fits stumbles backwards over a rock and hits the ground. He might be lining him up in his sights as Fits grasps desperately around for anything to use as a shield, for a tree to hide behind, for his dropped staff or –

                ­­He’s a child again, youthful arrogance snuffed to embers, no longer lucky enough to have parents to caution him. The streets are filthy and bustling, danger lurking in the shadows. He’s small, so small in this big city with no idea of where to go or around which corner the next beating will take place –

                 Sounds blur into a single crushing weight, ringing in his ears. His breathing is fast as a swallow bursting from its nest, like a thousand swallows in a thousand nests trying to fly free all at the same time. Usually so dextrous, his stiff hands curl in on themselves like gnarled trees aged by time. Hopelessly he drags one numb hand across his face, risking damage to his good eye by rubbing at it so viciously, desperate to make it see, please just see…

                Someone’s gentle hand stills his movements.

                “Come on now, no need for that. Just breathe,” someone says, prying fingers away from his face. And then three words to change everything: “I’ve got you.”

The voice is fixed with the luxury of knowing – of always knowing – and tempered by reassurance. It’s so familiar his heart leaps into his throat. Relief douses his panic so violently it’s difficult not to collapse with the intensity of it. The city streets and their thugs are cast out of mind, thrown back to the recesses of memory to haunt another day. “Gale. I...my – eyes.” The words won’t come. They’re still struggling against the tide of his laboured breathing. Through the numbness in his hands he feels the barest hint of warmth; Gale’s fingers do not stray from his, lending him strength.

“Ah, so your hearing is still keen as ever, good to know. Though how you can hear anything over the utter racket Karlach is making, I don’t know. Honestly, get between a barbarian and her next meal and may the gods protect you…”

                Fits doesn’t hear the rest of the wizard’s rambling. I’ve got you. Has anyone ever said that to him in his life? Surely his parents must have at some point. There must have been a moment where he existed not as an urchin to be kicked but as a child that belonged to someone. If ever that time was, he doesn’t recall it. I’ve got you. It’s difficult with legs that feel like dead weight but he manages to climb to his feet and throw his arms around Gale. Grace is not his strong point in this moment. Gale catches him with a gently breathed ‘ooph’ as Fits bumps into different bits of him all at once.

Everything is intensified in his blindness: the pressure of Gale’s hands slipping around his waist to keep them upright, the pulsing scent of their mingled sweat and the tang of blood that speaks of fresh injury. “You’re hurt.” His fingers stumble along Gale’s arm and find a tear in the fabric. The skin beneath is slick with blood, coating his gently probing fingers.

                “How in the hells did you know that? You’re blinder than the proverbial bat.” Gale sounds as if he’s trying very hard to sound amused. Fits hasn’t missed the sharp breaths that begin and end his question, a parenthesis of doubt.

                “Your blood…smells strange. Different.” He inhales both to calm himself and to further investigate Gale’s scent. Fascinating.

                “Ah. That would be the orb’s influence. Let me assure you, in normal circumstances my blood is indistinguishable from any others’. I’m sorry if the odour offends your sensitive nose.”

                “I said it was different, not bad.” The sounds of the fight flicker and die for the briefest moment as they stand together. Gale’s hands flutter around his back before settling on a place below his shoulder blades. His fingertips meet at the spine and stay there with gentle pressure. So decisive. He wonders if the man has ever been unsure of anything in his life. What that must feel like… “I didn’t think anyone saw me go down,” Fits murmurs against the starched collar of Gale’s robes. The smell of him is grounding, chasing away his panic. “I cursed my own stupidity for straying so far off.”

                “Yes – well. I admit I did question the intelligence of your decision to pursue that ‘mage’ –” he spits the word out with scorn – “On your own. And good thing I kept an eye out for you, too. I saw the spell hit you and I thought...” His voice lilts with care, stepping over the words as though they themselves are creatures to be soothed. “I know you don’t do well with the unknown. I didn’t think you’d much care for blindness.”

                Fits’ anxiety has become no secret to the wizard in the last few weeks. He’s never been more grateful to have such a confidant. Especially when a hail of somethings whizz right by, spraying around them like deadly rain, and he feels the warmth of Gale’s magic envelop them both in a shield. It’s like stepping into honeyed sunlight from a cool spring shadow. His skin prickles. He can feel it even after they’ve stepped apart. Gale’s magic always feels so different to his own.

                “Will you two stop flirting for one gods-damned minute and do something useful?!”

                Fits winces at Astarion’s tone. Usually, the elf takes great delight in watching the two of them dance awkwardly around each other. Apparently his patience only stretches so far on long days. Fits shakes the moment off, refusing to imagine a lovely blush on Gale’s cheeks when he hears the man cough pointedly. It’s difficult to focus with nothing to visually keep his attention, but he figures they should probably start helping.

“I don’t suppose you could be my seeing-eye wizard until this spell wears off?” he asks lightly, amazed at the recovery of his confidence.

                “It would be my absolute pleasure,” Gale replies.

Fits can hear the curved edges of his smile. When they clasp hands, it feels as if for the first time – every ridge and dip of Gale’s palm is treasured new information. He catalogues the placement of each ring on the man’s fingers, evaluates the silver clang of them against his own single allowance of metal: his mother’s ring. Their hands sway as Gale swoops down momentarily with a soft grunt – his knees often protest such actions – and then he returns the precious weight of Fits’ staff to his free hand. With that the last of his anxiety pools to dull thunder in the back of his head, and they get to work.

When the last bandit collapses to the ground a short time later, Karlach’s triumphant call for dinner is echoed back by all. They trudge back to camp, tired but enthusiastic. Astarion asks if there’s any of that half-decent wine still left. Usually this leads to a quick but snarky conversation between him and Gale. ‘If you took any interest in maintaining the camp supplies, you’d know the answer to that.’ ‘But you do such a fine job of it darling, I’d simply mess it up if I tried to help.’ ‘That sounds awfully familiar to your arguments against chopping firewood and washing dishes.’ ‘But true nonetheless.’  They say no such things tonight. Gale’s thumb brushes Fits’ and he tells Astarion in a distracted voice that yes there might be some left, certainly, he’d have a look.

They find a comfortable alignment on the path back, Fits trusting the wizard to guide him. Each time the party changes direction or pauses to scout, Gale murmurs a soft instruction. It’s an experience that would have been terrifying for him at most other times in his life. He’s never completely given himself over to the care of someone else, let alone someone he’s known so short a time. But Gale is different. They’ve been friends from the moment Fits pulled him out of that portal. And now…well, Gale warns him about rocks in the path and at one point helps him climb a fallen log. The sensation of straddling the tree with Gale’s voice so close in his ear – “That’s it, up you go, just like that –” does things to his insides that are better left for late night contemplation.

Eventually his vision returns, the comforting greens of nature a welcome sight, Lae’zel’s torchlight too bright for his sensitive eye - the one that hasn't been gouged out by an ice pick. Yet for all his relief he somehow feels a pang of loss, like the unravelling of a well-kept secret between two people. So as his eyes readjust Fits says nothing, enjoying the feel of Gale’s fingers jostling his in their loose grip, walking along in silence. If Gale notices at some point the druid’s steps become more confident, his pace not at all like that of a man still blinded…well. He doesn’t say anything, and they don’t stop holding hands the whole way back to camp.

[atlasofthestaars]

OK OK OK SO I JUST READ YOUR HEADCANONS (love em btw) but they got me thinking :

How’d you think Bi-Han would be with a woman really confident in her sexuality? Like she knows what she likes and doesn’t mind teaching her new partner how to do things. She’s experienced her fair share of things and is ready to help Bi-Han find what he likes as well

TLDR a confident bad bitch

Haha thank you!

I think Bi-Han the idea of Bi-Han being explicitly taught would wound him at first because he doesn't like the idea of not knowing something. I imagine he has a whole like, pride complex thing idk imo BUT I think as long as someone would be patient and wouldn't poke fun of him he'd be much more receptive of it. He loves you after all, and love requires trust on both ends.

He'd probably be really, really hesitant of being on the more submissive side because I imagine he wouldn't like the idea of relinquishing power. It is FOR you though so he would do it, but even then I feel like naturally he'd prefer being dominant in any scenario, even if it is in service for you.

TLDR: Because in my head Bi-Han would be already in love with you by the time you guys have sex, he would be willing and receptive, but because he's Bi-Han I think he'd be a lil hesitant still.

[hibiscera]

i would like to hear all of your ideas about poison ivys backstory please ?

OH !!!! This is a good one, I’ve thought about it quite a bit.

So while Woodrue is still a big part of my backstory for Pamela, two things:

1. They do not have a relationship. Rather, Pamela ends up trying to mold herself in his image due to never having a proper parental figure. She’s trans, so she tried SO HARD to be the kind of man she was looking up to… not allowing herself what she really wanted.

2. She turns herself into Poison Ivy. And this is a good thing, btw.

The tldr of her backstory so far… her parents were neglectful, so she was very lonely growing up. She found difficulty connecting with her peers… and then of course there were The Gender Problems.

But of course like every good future Gotham rogue, she had her dear beloved special interest, plants! ☺️ It was easier to isolate herself with them… watching them grow and change into something beautiful. How they’ve grown and changed with our planet to sustain it for millions of years!!

Needless to say, it was what she worked towards studying once entering university! Studying under the brilliant Dr. Woodrue, famous professor of botany, what a dream come true! Alongside Bella Garten, who is someone she would become Very close with, and Alec Holland.

Surely nothing could go wrong. (:

Anyways without getting toooooo long winded, Pammy ends up taking a particular interest in Mycology as well and how plants and fungi interact with one another. It’s through this path she ends up discovering a type of parasitic fungus that’s been left untouched for ages…

Ultimately, that bastard Woodrue steals her research on it and that breach of trust is the last straw for her, after living a life where her fellow humans kept consistently failing her. Where she tried to be something she’s not in order to maybe just MAYBE find her place somewhere.

So of course the only answer is to turn herself into a plant person, which rules btw. Something she had been concocting for a while…

The bad part is she’s decided she wants to help the parasitic fungus.

There’s definitely a lot more to it but I’m trying to be a little patient and save it for actually drawing and writing parts of the story.

[without-it]

long ass fast update

im still GOINNNGGGG. feelin alright rn tbh really happy im still going strong w this fast.

heres the part anyone cares abt, the weight lost. today i weighed in another -1.4kg down, so thats 2.4kg total so far (5.2 pounds). really happy with that, and super motivating to keep this going.

usually weight loss stalls for me by day 3/4 so im not expecting a good weigh in tmro but thats alright.

i also had severe food nightmares all night!! literally night terrors about giving up and breaking this fast, so thats fun

daily cravings update:

saltines - oh my god all i fucking wanna do is eat saltines its so bad rn. its literally all i craved all day yesterday and i cant even eat them when the fast is over bc u cant rly buy them in shitty fucking australia. hate that i live here rn lmao

i bought some electrolyte drink to help me get a bit more energy during this fast. i have a full time office job i need to be able to focus at, and im also studying a new language so i can hopefully leave australia soon. both things that i rly need to be able to concentrate for and we all know fasting isnt great for that.

the plan for fasting btw, is eat monday like normal. thats usually something around 10 am (which is why this fast ends at 10am), and then i alw go to my families house for dinner monday nights so eat dinner as well. and then right back into another 6 day fast. im going to try to follow this pattern until i lose the weight. i basically have 31kg (70 pounds) minumum i want to lose by the start of december, so i really need to be kinda extreme with this one.

in case ur curious - to help hopefully not die doing this, every morning im taking: iron (im severely anemic lmao), a womans multivit, zinc, fiber (filling and helps w the constipation), and several collagen suppliments bc ik im gonna have fuck tons of loose skin by the end of this. im also drinking an electrolyte drink, and plenty of water.

tldr: down 2.4kg, im less hungry than i was yesterday. im tired, bit dizzy, my jaw kinda aches??? but still going strong ❤️