#HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKIGN LONG. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

[hyunsvngs]

Hey I heard you are sick, so this is a reminder to drink some water and take medicine if you haven't already, our times are different so i dont know what it is for you rn but just treat yourself well and get better soon!!

that being said, i have some thots to keep you occupied if you like

the first is alien!jisung agenda, can you imagine how cute itd be if while he was fucking you soooo hard that his lil tentacles wrapped around you and held you close to him? that'd be so sweet, he just wants you to be as close as possible while hes pumping you full of his eggs <33

the second thought is.. longer. its hyunsung (is that the name of hyunjin x jisung??) x reader. so they dynamic would be dom!fem!reader, switch!hyunjin, and of course, sub!jisung. just imagine being at work, having a fairly good day until your phone pings with a message from your groupchat with the boys, its a video from hyunjin showcasing jisung on his lap, them both hard through their sweats, grinding against eachother. its only a few seconds long but hyunjin sends a short message after "jisungie is so desperate... what do you want me to do with him noona?"

of course, you send him a message back, instructing him to make jisung cum in his boxers and make him lick up the mess. Afterwards you instruct hyunjin to tie jisungs hands behind his back and put him face-down-ass-up on the bed and make him wait, sending a sweet "I'll be home soon boys, play nice"

They so exactly that, sending you videos of jisung cumming and of hyunjin getting jisung ready for you. When you get home you can tell jisung is already in that delicious headspace between "not knowing if its a punishment or praise" and "no thoughts-head empty". *time skip cuz im lazy* It ends up as that hyunjin fucks jisungs little hole while you fuck hyunjin with his favorite strap of yours.

Hyunjin is by far, the loudest which is saying something compared to jisung, but to be far hes getting it from both ends. He's crying telling you things like "m-mommy its- its too m-much i-.. i-im gonna c-cum please please mommy ohh p-please" all the while youre still abusing his hole and directing his hips to fuck into jisung properly whispering in his ear "i dont give a fuck whether you cum or not, but you will keep fucking jisung until he cums, you understand?".

My man almost cums on the spot after that, only cumming a few seconds later, crying and moving so much from the overstimulation, but you keep fuckign into him and making him fuck jisung until he(jisung) cums again.

after that LOTS of after care cuz yk its nearly more important than the actual sex. you tell the boys how much you love them and how well they did and you treat them with chocolate and a nice face and ass massage cuz yk they both SORE from that hahaha

anyway those are just my thoughts and i thought youd like them <3

*unedited (im lazy)*

-moose anon <333 (get well soon!!!)

JESUUUUUUS HOLY SHIT? IM IN LOVE WITH THESE THOUFHTS THANK U SO MUCH JESUS CHEISG

[boosaot]

Guess who finally kicked their ass into gear and it watching "Army of the Doomstar"

(vv Spoilers cuz I'm legit yapping about the whole movie vv)

LONG post warning

Dude Toki is looking ROUGH

How about we un-shift gears and mind our damn business

NAW Toki's lil sad noise after Skwis refused his hug :(

Nathan's goin thru it jeez- IN THE MEDICAL WARD CUZ OF PTSD DAMN

Intro got me groovin'

Am I crazy or did the quality of animation get a lot better?

Murderface,,, Time and Place dude,,

THEYRE LIKE CHILDREN IM HOLLERING WHY IS TOKI LICKING THE FUCKING PEW IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP HOLY SHIT

!!Get off of me don't touch Skwigsaar!!

Pickles exhausted mom core

What an entrance Nathan "Uhh-Hi. Sorry. I'm on Xanax"

SORRY WHAT- Xan, Red Wine AND COFFEE brother is OUT OF IT

"fuck off."

Charles,, brother,, this man is not hearing a WORD you just said

IM OGING TO THROW UP FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Marriage wont fix your trauma bestie- NATHAN PLEASE STAND UP

TAKE A LAP AROUFN THE BLOCK THINK ABOUT IT I- EHERHAHA

Nathan is just embarrassing the both of them in front of EVERYONE

IM- "There's no way this day could get any worse" "Please Welcome Dr. Rockzo, The Rock n' Roll Clown"

Someone kill this fuck-ass clown PLEASE his ass is OUT OF TUNE

Someone grab another pair of noise canceling headphones STAT

BRO YOU ARENT EVEN USING THEM PASS 'EM OVER

This has got to be a wild sight for Nathan bro is out of it

Fire cum is a new one,,, thank you for that Murderface

that was a bit excessive,, (actually startled me ngl)

hehaahEHAHA KNUBBLER YOU FUCKING LOSER (affectionate) looks so goofy fallin down the stairs

lol Toki quickly taking his feet out at MF pissing in their water supply (either cuz MF is literally pissing in the water or he himself didn't know he was putting his feet in their water supply,, either way, cute)

"Fuckers will be dying and shit" so real babe

Their hair wavin' in the wind so pretty

Sister Sunshine Rainbow Marshmallow Toki realness

:( this just make me sad bruh poor Murderface :(

THE WAY THEY JUST LET PICKLES FALL ON THE GROUND

Knubbler's losing it,, man,, that was good food too

Awe Toki's lil cheering while Nathan's climb

OKAY Animation I see you (Drugs ftw I guess)

SHOWTIME BAEBEYY

The ANIMATION WRAAA I am eating it (it looks so good)

Well as good of a song as this is,,, I HIGHLY doubt its the right one,, judging from all the death,, and non-salvation happening

GET UR ASS UP BITCH HEY YOUY BLOND FUCK GET TF UP HEY

nah im sure hes fine but still WAKE UP BESTIE (konked tf out)

BRO- Murderface the poor dude wtf man,,

damn R.I.P Knubbler u were a real one

IS HE PLAYING THE GUITAR PASSED OUT I-

bro is looking scrumptious

wet cat skwisgaar pt.2

he looks so baby right here whatthefuck

There was no way to convey this scene through text that would do it justice so here (The lil "uh-ow what the fuck ow" HAD ME CACKLING)

*claps*

Nathan you queer (<3)

even just the intro to the song is so fucking good dude )the lil "bwow-u-woung" noise from the guitar mnyamnyamnyam saur good)

Pickles is going insane on the drums

Salacia how about you go suck a bag of dicks

I wheezed (me too buddy)

They're on some gay shit rn (good for them)

Thousand yard stare

awe Toki

SKWISGAAR YOU CUNT IM HEHEHAHEHEEHAH

AYY fat kid survived the cats good for him

Hip jut out ok sass

LETS GOOOOO

WHALE GOD MVP

fellas... (Skwisgaar so princess loser here)

Nathen realizing the fans are the Army of the Doomstar is so fuckign funny (his lil "Holy Shit"s r so funny)

awe proud dad smile

-

That was such a good movie,,, holy fuckin shit,,

"chirp"

[iilmunchkiin]

Life Update

Hey so I know y'all like my art and all but college is creeping up on me so I might start posting less

I appreciate all the comments dearly, I really do, thank you so much for being so interested in my artworks and supporting me, but for now I really gotta take a break..

I might start going in a half-hiatus?? kind of state, where I'll be online but, not as active as I usually do...

This might change in the future, hopefully it does because I genuinely enjoy making silly art. This post is also going to be like some kind of time capsule to remind myself of SHIT I NEED TO DO.

I'm just filled with so much uncertainty at the moment...

If you read this all the way, thank you. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

(More yapping + potential art/concepts I plan to make underneath the cut)

(I repeat, some of these aren't final, just concepts)

Redesigning the entire undertale red and yellow cast into my style ( + the human souls )

Make a fuckign reference sheet for my persona

3 UTY AUs I plan to make

1st AU (Gameshow!AU) : Clover is aware of resets and they work along side Flowey with each other their own seperate goals (Clover - for the 5 missing children, Flowey - you already know), both of them treat the monsters and life itself as a video game and see everyone as nothing else but an NPC that exists in the game of life, however, deep down Clover genuinely cares and gets attached to everyone and their stories, but for the other's sake they have to pretend, pretend they don't care, pretend they're dismissive of everyone, and pretend to be the villain they claim they are. If they don't, Flowey will catch up and notice something's wrong so Clover just plays along as Flowey pulls on their strings and keep up the facade.

2nd AU (Insanity!AU) : Everyone's Insane, it's basically like the rot comic except Clover is actually alive this time and they witness everyone just spiraling into madness. They're just so sucked up and so mentally fucked it, it feeds my delulu brain. (Example: Starlo losing his identity and not knowing who he is anymore because of how much he pretended to be someone he wasn't) (it's giving horrortale without the cannibalism lol)

3rd AU (Sci-Fi!AU) : basically everyone is like working in a company like uhm.. Mission Impossible type style or smth... like... they gotta save clover from Flowey's antics or smth idk man I'm cringe asf. The fiesty 4 is ganna be there along with Decibat and Penilla, Ceroba is going to be like the main focus since she's the one doing the planning and all. (Everyone is going to be in uniform and everything omg theyre so cool)

Some actual domestic and cute fluffy art because god damn I make so much sad shit HAHAHA (Examples: Beach Barbeque party, laundry day, grocery/clothes shopping in the surface)

More animations/animatics

Other things that aren't related to uty

As for the rot comic series I kinda(?) made in the r/UndertaleYellow sub, posts will get slower. I already mentioned it on reddit but I'll just copypaste what I said here.

If you want my reddit acc uhhhhh here lol (Also speaking of reddit holy SHIT I GOT AN AWARD???? I also loved reading the really long texts omg I love it when people hyper analyze shit)

And speaking of analyze.. did you guys notice Starlo's thingy on his hat was supposed to be a heartbeat? :3c

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #9 (Part 2)

Oh shit!! Is these ducks on the road??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY ARE!!! Anyways we're reading Ducks on the Road now which I'm super excited for because it features not one but THREE characters we've barely seen in the book club so far!!

This comic is LONG (I guess it's technically like 5 comics but we're reading them all in one go) so I'll probably end up having to extend this post with a few reblogs! So look out for those.

They're in.... VIRGINIA???? NOOOOOOOOOOO (person with irrational hatred of Virginia cause my whole extended family lives there so I have to travel there every holiday and it just kinda sucks there idk what to tell you. Also if Virginia is for lovers why is it called VIRGINia hm?? riddle me that BATMAN)

SCROOGE PAY YOUR FUCKING WORKERS also I love this outfit and haircut for Daisy she looks so cute here

Does this imply that Donald was living in Virginia beforehand because the implication that I'm only 1 state away from Donald is kind of frightening ngl. also Virginia sucks.

Did they hire Tuskerninni's cousin what's going on here. Actually this is the 70s it could probably BE Tuskerninni in an earlier life

I'm so used to talking about DT17 Gyro within my circles that I see Regular Gyro and it's like oh right!! He actually has joy and whimsy in his heart!! He's actually just a funny invention man who has totally not accidentally committed any atrocities in Tokyolk before!!!! He's also changed his hair color like four times

DON'T EAT THE GARBAGE SANDWICH WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIING

can somebody please help him he looks like an anxious chihuahua

How do you even leave piles of money on the floor to be blown away like that HELP I'm so stressed. Dickie get it together girl.

shoutout to these two and their cool accompanying text

HOW IS SHE SUCH A PUBLIC MENACE SHE'S LITERALLY JUST KINDA MID AT PLAYING GUITAR

She kissed him then IMMEDIATELY friendzoned him it was like a speedrun holy shit

Did he just headcanon Dickie and Daisy as lesbians? Because me too.

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT AFTER AN EXAM WHY'D THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 nice presentation you LONELY IDIOT.

DICKIE YOU CAN'T PAINT A FUCKIGN RENTAL VAN OH MY GOD

Ah yes my favorite sign on the highway. The big one that just says "WEST"

YOU GUYS I AM SO STRESSED DICKIE IS GONNA GET THEM ALL KILLED IN A HORRIFIC ROAD ACCIDENT. ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET ALL THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA-

NVM THEY'RE NOT GONNA CRASH THEY'RE GONNA GET SHOT BY THIS GUY FOR HARBORING CRIMINALS

DAISY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. also i want these two guys dead they were mean to her >:(

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

dork ass nerd and his dork ass math pajamas. and what I assume is a plush of Albert Einstein or something. NERD.

Oh ok so we're just not gonna acknowledge what they do about their tires being gone. Ok. No it's fine I guess that's like irrelevant information they probably just like... found some new tires on the side of the road or something..... yeah....

Anyways this is the part where I briefly end the post so I can attach more reactions with a reblog!

[keirawantstocry]

Its that time again! A more or less continuation of the c!Quackbur vampires

Cw: The suggestiveness that comes from letting your pal drinking your blood and you teasing him about it. Along with the actual blood.

(Slightly worried it might be too suggestive, so please tell me if its too much! :>)

——

Wilbur’s mouth meet Quackity’s neck.

All outside motions stopped, and instinctively, a tongue was licking a long strip down the column of Q’s tanned neck.

Suddenly, Wilbur’s entire body was set ablaze with hunger as one hand wrapped harshly around Quackity’s jaw, tilting it away for more access, and the other arm was hugging Q’s body to his so hard, Q knew there was no escape.

Not like he was planning too, but the inhuman strength that came from the undead always ticked the neediness checklist in this head. The way Wilbur was only a word away from devouring him, and was holding on by a skin of his teeth to not drinking Q dry.

What’s even funnier is that Wilbur hadn’t even pierced his skin yet, just shallowly breathing onto it making the rest of his body flare up in prey instinct. After all, what’s a human to a vampire?

Everything, the voice of past Wilbur spoke, doing a pretty job at taking away Quackity’s awareness of the now.

It was only after present Wilbur grips turned bruising that Quackity was brought back to reality, he’s own breathes turning heavier with the grip around his stomach tightening too hard for comfort.

“Hey, keep that up and you really won’t be getting not a thing from me.”

Wilbur’s grip relaxed, and Q smirked on how easy that was. That he had the beast wrapped around his little finger, all just for a taste.

Wilbur licked and sucked at Q’s neck, but never pierced, and he continued until Quackity was finally done teasing the older man.

“Now, what’s the magic wordddd?” Quackity mocked.

“Go fuck yourself—” Wilbur huffed out, still kissing Q’s neck and never loosening his hold around the other.

Quackity grabbed the arm wrapped around his waist, pushing it forward only an inch before he heard the other whimper.

Quackity’s glee and ego were absolutely drinking up the noises, so much so that Quackity finally decides to end the other man’s suffering and leads Wilbur to a tree.

Q lets himself get pinned to the bark, twisting so he could finally face Wilbur fully and drink up the sight of the disheveled man in front of him.

Quackity had too admit, it was a pretty picture, but he’s been teasing for too long and wouldn’t want the other to wait too long after all.

They both stared at each other, both hungry for different things, yet knowing only the other could provide.

“Have me, until I say stop.”

Wilbur’s face disappeared as fast as light, opening his mouth and finally being able to eat what he wanted.

It hurt, of course it did, and Quackity never thinks he’ll get used to it, but the blood rushing out his neck was always a addicting feeling. The way the silky liquid dribbled down his neck, the lightheadedness that came from the rapid loss, the person stealing his life from him.

Quackity loved it all, and seeing how utterly wrecked the other became for even a drop stroked his ego higher than the stars. Even as Wilbur was losing more control, lifting Q higher off the ground and pinning him to the tree.

The moonlight didn’t reach them, but the both of them were glowing so hard, they didn’t need any light.

holy fuckign shit. grabbing my hair and trying not to scream /pos

HAVE ME????!?!?!

STEALING HIS LIFE FROM HIM?!?!?!?!

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME????

and do not worry i loveee suggestive stuff. cannablism as symbolism for sex oh my gosh oh my godh oh my goh ouuisdjsjkfjdkhdfjdfjdkfh hdskjhdfshj f

[cecropiacrown]

Working on chapter 9 of Distance and have been debating about making this silly little text convo into its own chapter--decided it'd probably be best to just post it here--so please enjoy!

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 8:10am No, I don't think he hates you forever and never wants to talk to you again. I think he's probably asleep, didi

NEW MESSAGES

Feng Xin : 1:57 pm PEI MING HELP ME

Feng Xin : 1:57 pm PLEASE

Feng Xin : 1:57 pm THIS IS NOT A FUCKIGN DRILL 🚨🚨🚨

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 1:58 pm Are you injured, maimed, or otherwise dying right now?

Feng Xin : 1:58 pm NO ITS WORSE

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 1:59 pm Oh. Did someone try to flirt with you again? And if so, are they still there and, if yes, are they hot? Because I’m currently very free at the moment.

Feng Xin : 1:59 pm pei ming I dont know what to fukcing do but holy shit i’m freaking out right now

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 2:01 pm Oh so we’re talking like mega hot. A woman? Are you in the lobby??? I can be there in three minutes.

Feng Xin : 2:01 pm no no its not taht

Feng Xin : 2:01 pm i’m in my room

Feng Xin : 2:01 pm i’m on the phone with Mu Qing right now he fell asleep 

Feng Xin : 2:02 pm PEI MING HE FELL ASLEEP

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 2:03 pm How is this a problem? Just hang up if he fell asleep?

Feng Xin : 2:03 pm NO you don’t understand

Feng Xin : 2:03 pm HES WEARING MY HOODIE

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 2:04 pm Oh ho 👀

Feng Xin : 2:04 pm PEI MING PLEASE WHAT DO I DO

Feng Xin : 2:04 pm HE CALLED ME A-XIN AGAIN

Feng Xin : 2:04 pm HES SO FUCKING CUTE

Feng Xin : 2:05 pm PEI MING

Feng Xin : 2:05 pm PEI MING PLEASE

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 2:07 pm You’re on your own with this one, babe. I think you know what you need to do 🥰 Let me know how it goes!

Feng Xin : 2:07 pm you are dead to me and i hope you never get laid again for as long as you live

Pei Ming (PHY 305) : 2:07 pm 😘😘😘

[spotsupstuff]

so like. whys Ramjet the hottest shit in TFA. who decided to make him the star of the Starscream show. like-

who gets to kick Starscream when he gets french revolution'ed by the headmaster unit in s2 finale? Ramjet

who rescues Lugnut in s3 n now has a favor OR blackmail material on him? fucking Ramjet

whos the one who apparently manages to convince Lockdown that he has a better deal for him than, basically, the second in command of the autobots?? GOD damn fuckin Ramjet

i cant wrap my fuckin head around it, Lockdown has no issue taking down two of Megatron's best lieutenants, both of em r real og people n not clones, who could Definitely give him run for his money n hold a grudge for who knows how long, but one lyin clone boy???? "well Shit! holy snappies!" says Lockdown, "tickle me silly! cant say no to that, ey!" LIKE SIR HOW

did Lockdown even figure out that Ramjet can only lie??? what in the utter FUCK was Ramjet gon do with Sentinel. bergaining chip??? was he gon stroll into Steelhaven n use Sentinel as a hostage against Jazz n the jettwins so he could release the others n take over the ship????? what the fuck was this white boy gon do, what was his game plan- win the fuckign war??? wHY IS RAMJET SUCH HOT SHIT. WHATS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HIM. OTHER CLONES DO JACK SHITE BUT HE OH BOY THE HE.

[ivy-is-fine]

WARNING: long vent underneath; mostly self deprecation so be mindful of that if you decide to read

chat I’m genuinely tweaking out so fucking bad rn I just spent like an hour and half making a custom Minecraft skin and then I accidentally hit something that destroyed all of my progress, RIGHT BEFORE I DOWNLOADED IT YALL I GONNA EXPLODE I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE SO UPSET OVER SIMETHING STUPID AND POINTLESS AND SMALL AS THIS BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM GOING TO CRY AND THEN I DONT KNOW THROW A HAT AT THE GROUND YALL IT LOOKED SO GOOD I LOVED IT AND THEN I FUCKING RUINED IT ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THE SAME EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, JUST HOW I WANTED IT TO BE. I KNOW I CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER AND BE MORE CAREFUL BUT THAT WILL TAKE SO MUCH MORE TIME AND IT WAS SO TEDIOUS THAT TO SPEND MORE TIME WOULD MAKE THE EXPERIENCE EVEN WORSE. CHAT. CHAT IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND. AND I KNOW IM ONLY SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS BECAUSE ITS HOT AND MISERABLE AND IM OVERSTIMULATED AND THERES SOMETHING WRONG GOING ON IN MY BODY THATS MADE ME LOSE THE WILL TO EAT AND I HATE MYSELF AND EXISTING FEELS GROSS AND I HAVE NO ENERGY SO NOW IM CRYING JUST AS BAD OVER THIS STUPID, POINTLESS THING AS I DID WHEN MY FUCKING CAT DIED. IM NOT READY FOR THIS SCHOOL YEAR, IM GOING TO BE MISERABLE AND BURNED OUT AND I FEEL LIKE MY BEST FRIENDS DONT LIKE ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW RATIONALLY THAT THEY DO BUT IM SCARED THAT THEIR OPINIONS OF ME ARE STARTING TO SOUR AND THAT THEYLL LEAVE ME BEHIND JUST AS EVERYONE DOES. GOD IM SO AWKWARD WITH PEOPLE NOBODY LIKES ME I CAN TELL AND I DONT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING INTERESTING OR KNOW ANGTHING ABOUT CARS AND TRUCKS LIEK EVERYONE I EXIST WITH. IM USELESS, I DONT HAVE A JOB, I DONT KNOW HOW TO MOW LAWN OR WEEDWACK OR DRIVE A TRACTOR. IM A WORTHLESS HUMAN WITH ZERO TALENT, ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE USELESS FUCKING ART AND WRITE USELESS FUCKING ESSAYS ABOUT USELESS FUCKING TOPICS. IM SO FUCKING WORTHLESS MY PARENTS SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT FROM THE START, I COULDNT EVEN EAT FUCKIGN RIGHT. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF, I HATE BEING A PICKY AND SLOW EATER ITS FUCKING EMBARRASSING I HATE BEING UNDERWEIGHT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WEAK AND I HATE BEING WEAK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE USLESS AND EMBARRASSING. I HATE MY SKINNY FUCKING WRISTS AND THE NAUSEA THAT CONSTANTLY STIRS IN MY GUT. I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING OVERBITE AND THE HERBST APPLICATION IN MY FACE TO FIX IT AND I HATE MY CURLY HAIR THAT I DKNT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF PROPERLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS STUPID AND MY SWEATY ASS PALMS THAT LEAVE MARKS ON THE FUCKING TABLES ARE AWFUL I HATE IT IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS I WISH I KNEW HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC I WISH I KNEE WHAT INCOULD DONTHAT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY BUT I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WOULD FUNCTION BETTER WITHOUT ME. I WANT TO BE A PART OF SOCIETY BUT I NEVER KNOW HOW TO ACT, I DONT KNOW WHEN SOMEONE CANT TOLERATE ME. PEOPLE SCARE ME TOO EASILY I WANT TO STAY IN MY ROOM WHERE NO ONE HAS TO SEE ME. I WANT TO SMASH MY HEAD AGAINT A WALL, MAYBE ITLL MAKE ME NORMAL. GOD I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION NORMALLY, HOW TO MAKNTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT, HELL, HOW TO HAVE AN APPETITE. I CONSTANTLY FEEL SICK AND RECENTLY IVE BEEN FEELING SO DETACHED FROM REALITY THAT I CAN HARDLY REGISTER ANY WORDS SPOKEN TO ME AND NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING IMPORTANT ANYWAYS LIKE HOW I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW WHERE MY FUCKING CAT GOT BURIED??? NO ONE SEEMED TO FEEL LIEK THAT WA SIMPIRTSNT ENOUGH TO TELL ME!!! IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE EXPECTS EM TO KNOW STUFF WITHOUT HAVING TO BE TOLD BUT INDONT KNOW!!! I NEVER FUCKING KNOW!! I DOTN KNOW ANHTHING OTHER THAN USELESS PIECES OF TRIVIA THAT WILL NEVER BE USED ANYWHERE AT ALL. UGH I FEEL SO ILL, HUNGRY YET SICK AT THE SAME TIME. STARVING WITH NO DESIRE TO EAT. I KNOW ILL DIE, IM ALWAYS ON THE EDGE WITH DEATH, WAVING ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. I DONT WANT TO BE SKINNY. I WANT TO EAT AND BE HEALTHY. BUT I CANT. I DONT KNOW WHY I CANT. I HAVE ACCESS TO FOOD AT ALL TIMES, THERES NOTHING STOPPING ME. I CAN HEAR MY STOMACH BUDDLE AND I CAN FEEL THE HUNGER PANGS BUT THEY DONT SEEM TO TRANSMIT TO MY BRAIN. MY MEMORY IS FAILING ME MORE AND MORE MY THE MINUTE, I CAN FEEL MYSELF

DETERIORATING. GOD IM SO SICK OF THIS THIS GAME ISNT FUN ANYMORE BUT I DONT WANT TO QUIT. ITS HARD BEING THE MEDIATOR, THE LIGHTHEARTED JOKESTER WHO DIFFUSES THE SITUATION AND REMAINS COOL AND CALM. IT FUCKING SUCKS AND I GET WALKED ALL OVER ALL THE TIME.

AND I KNOW THERES MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS WHO HAVE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES WORSE THAN ME, BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIVING SUCKS. MY BRACES AND HERBST MAKE MY FACE ACHE AND MY KNEES HURT WHEN HIGH PRESSURE SYSTEMS COME IN AND IM SLOW AND DONT PROVIDE ANYTHING FOR A TEAM. MY ARMS FEEL WEAK ALL THE TIME AND MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE AN EMPTY CHAMBER WITH SOME GUNK AND COBWEBS SLOSHING AROUND. GOD IM SO TIRED. EVERY PART OF MY BODY IS TIRED, IM EXHAUSTED THROUGH TO MY BONES AND BACK.

THERES NO GOOD WAY TO CONCLUDE THIS, AND IM SORRY IF YOUVE READ THIS THROUGH(OR AT ALL).

[callmearcturus]

If you don’t mind me asking, but what is the twin’s relationship to dirk in the fallout au? Are they directly related? I almost can’t imagine dirk willing to leave his siblings alone even if they can defend for themselves.

OKAY SO

the original plan for the fallout AU was actually very different and was going to be a Two Plots Running style fic like KTOWL was. in plot A, ranger karkat and the twins, yep, but midway through, rose was the one to be kidnapped, not by Gomorrah but by the Chairmen (leaders of the Tops).

In Plot B, Jake filled the role of Benny, head of the Chairmen, while Dirk was Courier Six. Benny shoots Dirk in the head, but he Gets Better, and manages to chase Jake down. At that point, Jake reveals that he's looking to take over the Strip by getting access to an old Enclave bunker hidden in the Mojave, and that he needed the package Dirk was carrying to open it, as well as someone from the lost Enclave. Dirk takes the package back (i hadn't nailed down what it was going to be, not a Chip like in canon) and says they're both going after the Enclave bunker.

Back in Plot A, Dave breaks into a ranger outpost to hang out there until Karkat shows up. (They let him out of his cell and he plays a showy Vegas card dealer for them and teaches everyone blackjack. When Karkat shows up, they're like "This one yours, Cancer?" and he's like "SIGH. YEAH.")

Dave then explains that Rose had been kidnapped by some checkered suit motherfuckers and he needs someone to track 'em. Karkat agrees to help, and they set out following the trail of anyone in a Tops suit. Before long, Karkat hears tale of Jake, and the plots start to intertwine, with group A and group B always JUST missing each other.

Karkat spends a long time thinking that Rose was taken bc she's a Forecaster so presumably she can get the kidnappers something with her powers. When the trail brings them to an Enclave bunker, Dave is like "oh. uh. that explains it. rose and i were uh born in Navarro. like, pre-NCR Navarro." and karkat is like "you're ENCLAVE? you're fuckign ENCLAVE?" and dave is like "babe, no one is Enclave anymore. why did you think they wanted Rose?" "because she's fucking psychic?" "wait..... you BELIEVED US? you think rose is PSYCHIC?!" "shut up." "karkat holy shit you are the EASIEST mark of all time."

and then the two plots were gonna combine but I didn't have a good resolution.

ANYWAY THAT'S WHY DIRK IS NOT IN THE FIC BEYOND A MENTION. /jazzhands

ETA: SEE THAT'S THE BRICK JOKE. THEY DID ACTUALLY LIE ABOUT BEING TRAGIC VEGAS ORPHANS. THAT WAS THE JOKE!

[mex-sickos]

Humu humu, your silly little oomfie is awake on a patch morning you know what that means :pausechamp: ANALYSIS TIME

Let’s go down the list based on what order I’m gonna do them

Shimanto: kinda thought she was a little bad at first but it was because I forgor about plygun (once again plymmie fixes everything for me) she’s a aa specialist so I’m not *that* in love with her kit (especially since no torp preload with a skill that wants you to load your torps twice before getting it off) but she’ll be a star in w13 at least (three years too late :chernoupset: but hither thither)

Kearsarge: “where is my brother sasuke?” “I air strike I salvo I airstrike I salvo I airstrike I sa-” she’s absolutely everything I wanted out of a DR bbv, she slots a real fuckign plane, she synergizes immaculately between the two with planes increasing shell damage and shells increasing plane damage, speaking of synergy she loves yorktwon I think my new anti-light is gonna be Kear/NJ/Yorkie

Felix- I bet you’re all surprised to see fewix here instead of Hindy, well it’s for good reason- long time oomfies will know that I’m a big fan of dds, especially gun dds, from a gameplay perspective and wooo buddy Felix goes OFF, s2 gives 18% eva *and* damage reduc, shields every 10 seconds that give 8% eva RATE when broken, on a skill that also fucking gives luigis slow torp skill and 15% extra cruiser damage, and this isn’t even my favorite fucking skill because s1 gives her increase crit rate AND damage (10 and 20% respectively), gives her a skill to make her want to use her CL gun instead with 10% extra efficiency and a 10 second cool down on the REAL star of the show, a barrage that makes her do 15% more to the enemy, kit wise this ship is the most excited I’ve been to test for a while (for dds at least), even if she’s bad it’ll be a lot of fun finding out where she lies

Hindy- CAs are tricky because for a while now there’s been this stigma, save ancho there hasn’t been a CA that’s really been better then the average CB in a while, their guns are only moderately faster and deal less damage, they’re less tanky and they don’t have nearly as much utility even if they do have damage or tank (all of the ones you’d even consider using are the ones that have good utility like adalberts damage sponge or baltis avi buff) but holy shit does hindy perform and then some, let me put this in a language you can understand- mgm+2 ca gun/torp mount (no one give a shit)/*ca gun/aa gun flex slot*, we are fucking COOKING - her first skill gives 15% fp, 5% more damage and SHIELD PEN if you dual wield (she has some buffs for using an aa gun but I don’t really give a fuck about those) and her second skill gives her a barrage that gives a debuff that makes her fire a special weapon (the skill is vague so we don’t know much but possible 4th gun?!?!?!?) this girl is everything I could possibly want out of a DR CA and it feels so nice knowing they haven’t forgor them in favor of large cruisers

Flan- I’m really not a huge fan of her, my feelings about her faction aside they kinda did her fuckign nasty, a skill that gives a) a 20 second barrage (whatever) b) whenever this ship fires its gun for the first time (it says second but she has a preload), she marks an enemy that takes 12% more damage FROM HER till she drops below 60%, the amount of unpacking this would take could fill a library so I’m gonna be succinct and say it’s fucking dogshit but here’s the real fucking kicker, her second skill increases her eva and fp (nice) and gives her a 15% heal that increases her secondary guns range and efficiency by a substantial amount, meaning that she’s only really good for bosses that don’t have a lot of pregame or fucking pvp, and bossing is pretty fucking competitive

[tempestuous-cosplay]

I am having some big fucking feelings so i’ll be cringe and blog about it

So. ah. I had a breakdown in the shower today bc it all hit at once that I was neglected as FUCK. like. holy shit i had an EATING DISORDER and NO ONE FUCKIGN NOTICED??? I was constantly going to school without a lunch because “You need to learn how to take care of yourself!!!!” My friends all thought I was So Forgetful because I was always “forgetting my lunch at home” because thats less embarassing than “I can’t make my own lunch”. I always thought “I bet being an adult is a lot of work, i don;t want to be a bother.” NO BITCH, THATS THEIR FUCKING JOB

YEA IT IS A  LOT OF WORK!!! AND PART OF THAT WORK IS MAKING SURE YOUR KID IS EATING ENOUGH!!! MAKING SURE THEY ARE SEEN AND LISTENED TOO!!! IM ABOUT TO BE A FATHER AND THEIR ACTIONS MAKE LESS AND LESS SINCE

WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT?? WHY WAS I STRUGGLING AND SUFFERING FOR SO LONG WHEN IM FINDING THE ANSWERS SO EASY!!!

DON’T HAVE FUCKING KIDS IF YOU ARENT READY FOR THEM TO NEED YOU FOR EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!!!! YU ARE CHOOSING TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS NO SAY IN THE MATTER!!!!!! GET YOUR SHIT HANDLED!!! 

Y’ALL FUCKING LET ME WALK AROUND WITH FUCKING MONO!!!! I TOLD YOU I WAS ABUSED AND THEN WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT!!!! I HAD A BROKEN ANKLE FOR MONTHS!!! I WAS SO FUCKING DEPRESSED FOR SO LONG AND JUST THINKING “OH THIS IS THE WAY IT IS I GUESS”

fuck man this is going full stream of consciousness. I struggled through COVID, starving the whole time bc my dad could be assed to cook anything. his GIRLFRIEND (my mom died just a fucking year ago, what the actual FUCK my guy) cooked me pancakes (the only meal i specifically requested bc i needed some comfort food)

My parents would always tell this story like it was SO FUCKING FUNNY that every time my mom would leave my sister and I with my dad for the day, she would always come back to us hungry, soiled, and distressed.LIKE MA’AM, THAT IS FULL ON STRAIGHT UP NEGLECT WHAT THE FUCK???

When I was, like, 11 I think, I found an empty condom wrapper in my room and my parents just SHRUGGED THAT OFF!!! WHAT WAS AN EMPTY CONDOM WRAPPPER DOING IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM WITH BUNKBEDS AND GIANT PINK UNICORNS?? WHY DID THAT NOT WORRY YOU MORE??? IT SURE FUCKING WORRIED ME!!!! 

[forestryfae]

oh my fuckign god "did you wash clothes today" yes hi hello how are you how are you feeling are you doing well is the depression and general lack of enrichment kicking your ass are you stressed cus you have a house and two cats and you dont know what to do with them how was christmas vacation did you have fun did you live in a house where it was a constant 10c or less except for the maybe 17c you had in your bedroom? are you getting psychiatric care and medication to help you with your mental health problems?

no cus washing clothes and bugging me about it is more important. i tried to do some yesterday but we went for a walk and it was longer than expected cus they said it was short and never elaborated so i was exhausted and pissed for the rest of the day i am constantly exhausted and pissed. i have NO energy. i cant get people to talk to me when i want them to but everyone collectively has decided that when im upset and angry is the best time to reach out, when its literally too late and im already on edge and i can not fucking communicate properly how fucking hard is it for people to just. actually acknowledge that i have depression and ocd and probably other shit too and that that takes a huge toll on me, combined with just in general having a shit physical health that means i cant go for hour long walks with NO breaks in shit weather while im walking two times faster than my usual speed cus everyone with long legs or good physical health are unwilling to slow down at all or take breaks or WAIT for those of us who need them

jesus fucking christ its so infuriating how every time we go on longer walks and the people in front of us stop theyve had like a 5 minute break. and we get there and we dont even get a break. they start walking before we even reach them. so its fucking constant. my legs are fucking aching to the point where i will start crying if i dont get to take a break but thats not important. how fucking self centered and unempathic can someone be.

literally everything is OUR responsibility but we still get treated like kids and when we do our part we get their part shoved in our faces with a fun dash of "well why did you just do this why didnt you remind us" like FUCK OFF. the assholes cant even give me my penicillin without me reminding them i have recieved NO follow up after coming back from vacation i havent had anyone to talk to and my support contact, as much as i try to give her credit for the stuff she does and i try to be grateful that she atleast tries and she wants better for me than what i have, is missing most of the time and doesnt reach out to me and is completely incapable of understanding that i need them to actually d their jobs without blaming me when shit goes wrong.

holy fucking hsit how hard would it have been for them to ask "hey i know you hate going home and didnt want to, how was it at home, what happened at your house, are you doing okay after christmas vacation? hows your teeth didnt you have a medical emergency w your teeth? how do you wnat to restart your routines do you need help with that?" like its their fucking job to help me and i get fucking nada. can people just for once actually act like i have feelings and emotions and i need them to actually be validated and acknowledged without feeling like i need to justify them and defend them every time i have them?

[bicellbit]

trying not to be crazy negative especially since it's over and done with and my streamer won't be participating but holy fuck the event was done so badly and so poorly balanced and genuinely i do not know how people's lore is going to recover for the people whose stuff got interrupted like. no fucking wonder people are taking long breaks they have to rewrite entire chunks of their character because their arcs got not just interrupted but basically ruined AND if they plan/planned on doing stuff with others they have to coordinate how their characters are dealing with shit and basically it's all fucking agonizing and i GET that they planned a cool event and wanted to try it out but i wish they hadn't basically done playtesting on server members and had thought about timing and also sorry i like what people did with it but the eggs going missing the way that they did fuckign SUCKED so basically while i do like what my streamers have managed to do with the situation the last four months have sucked in terms of coherent lore that didn't fuck people individually. in conclusion i will not be watching purg 2 whatsoever MAYBE ill hop in to watch shub if shes having a nice time but otherwise i would rather not see an ounce of it im so fuckingl. im just tired man i miss when lore wasnt trying to be overarching and all-encompassing and was more character-focused and i miss when everything didn't have to be a huge dramatic thing and when the feds were the genuine real enemy and nothing else was distracting and i miss investigations and i miss people jsut hanging out and i think when a bunch of people have to take long breaks its not a great sign. thats my ted talk that no one will ever read

[lovelyirony]

pls 33.) “He said oh my god you’re piecing it together/You are just a shadow of me/oh my lord you’ve never left the mirror/You were never ever free” Mirror Master with Peggy and Sharon parallels and some Steve/Sharon mayhaps? OR 12.) “It’s on pretty lady/born to be angry/grip of the vice/click on the trigger, girl/sip wine on ice” It’s About Time with rivals to lovers Nat/Maria

Sharon loved visiting her Aunt Peggy. From investigating the various nooks and crannies around the house to the “don’t tell your father I told you this story...” tidbits, it was her favorite place. Her house always smelled of tea and linen, and sometimes Aunt Peggy allowed her to try on some red lipstick. 

“With red, you’ll be unstoppable,” Peggy says teasingly. “And who knows what will happen when you’re unstoppable...” 

Being a kid means you don’t see a lot of the things that go on behind the scenes, so to speak. Sharon doesn’t know why her mother never likes that it’s Peggy who watches her when she can, doesn’t understand why her father doesn’t want Peggy to tell her what her job is. 

She doesn’t know why her mom steers her away from any talk of “being just Peggy!” 

“You want to do something else,” her mother says worriedly. “Didn’t you want to be a ballerina?” 

“Peggy said they can’t work as a ballerina for very long because of repetition,” Sharon says, frowning. 

“Then you can be a doctor. Or a lawyer!” 

“Lawyers are boring,” Sharon says, rolling her eyes. “Why can’t I be like Aunt Peggy?” 

“Because...just don’t ask,” her mother tells her. She’s irritated, voice getting sharp. Sharon knows that her mom is never a fun person when she’s mad. So Sharon doesn’t say anything, not until her mother is lying down for the night and she sneaks out to her dad’s office. 

“Mom doesn’t want me to be like Aunt Peggy. Why?” She whispers, crawling into his lap. He smells like printer ink and the woodsy smell of his cologne. 

“Peggy...she’s chosen a dangerous career. It gets her in a bit of trouble sometimes. Your mother doesn’t want that for you.” 

“She wants me to be a boring lawyer,” Sharon whines. “I don’t wanna be a lawyer.” 

“You don’t have to be,” her dad whispers. “You can be what you want. But with Aunt Peggy’s job...there’s more of a chance that you don’t get to see family as often. She’s lucky that she doesn’t have to move to England or Paris again.” 

“She lived in England?” Sharon asks, eyes bugging out. 

“Yes, for a bit. You know that we were raised there. She wasn’t there to visit anyone. She had to work the whole time.” 

“That doesn’t sound like fun,” Sharon says, frowning. 

“No, no it isn’t. But I think saving lives as a doctor could be fun, yeah?” 

“Maybe.” 

Sharon doesn’t stop wanting to be like Aunt Peggy. Peggy is fierce and Peggy is liked by a lot of people and holds influence. 

Peggy Carter probably doesn’t sit alone at lunch because girls called her weird and guys say she’s too much like them. 

Peggy Carter has loads of friends, like Aunt Angie and Mr. Jarvis. 

If Sharon was more like Peggy, then maybe things would be different and her mom would quit asking her if she wants to invite Mackenzie to her birthday party. 

Sharon is very similar to Peggy. Scarily so. She has the same intensity to her gaze, the same drive to help others in her own way. She doesn’t suffer fools easily, and Peggy knows that if she’s not careful, Sharon will end up like her. 

And that is one thing that she is terrified of. Peggy knows a lot of the things that have led her to survive are either lucky or questionable. She’s done lots of things she’s not proud of. She doesn’t always check in on her kids as much as she should, doesn’t miss the drifting commentary of not being something/somewhere/someone “again.” 

Again. What a damning word, to be something/someone/somewhere “again.” 

So when Sharon asks her if she can start training--after all, she was already thirteen and needed to get a headstart if she really wanted to be like her aunt--and Peggy looks at her. 

“No.” 

“What? Why not?” Sharon asks, sipping the rest of her tea. “Is it still too early?” 

“My job is not easy,” Peggy says. “It is not a game.” 

“You think...what?” Sharon asks. 

“You wouldn’t take it seriously,” Peggy says. “This isn’t some adventure of Betty Carver, this isn’t a Captain America adventure. No.” 

Sharon blinks back tears. She can’t cry in front of Aunt Peggy, not here. Not now. She wants to prove she’s not some fucking little kid who thinks this is her thinking it’ll be like Betty Carver, the stupid nurse from the old radio show about Captain America. 

“I-I’ll go home now,” Sharon says, voice brimming with tears. She can’t hide it. Doesn’t have the training for it, obviously. “See you later.” 

Peggy knows it hurts Sharon. She knows it does, knows that she will never look at Sharon like she usually does. But she needs Sharon to be nothing like her. 

Because if she’s everything like her...oh god. 

- 

Her mother is relieved. There’s a lighter air to her demeanor when Sharon says she’ll just walk home from school anymore. 

“I don’t wanna bother Aunt Peggy,” she says lightly. They can’t know what was said. She can barely think of it without tears coming back up. “Do you think I can sign up for anatomy in high school?” 

A doctor. That’s what she’ll be. That’s what she tells herself. 

But then there comes a night when she’s home alone. Her parents are on a date night, playfully telling her to not do anything dangerous. She knows they mean have anyone over, light the house on fire. 

They don’t think she’ll reconsider her career path. 

Aunt Peggy doesn’t think she can do it. She thinks that Sharon is just some kid who thinks this whole thing is some stupidly fun mission and she’ll tell stories by the campfire when she’s old. 

Sharon’s not stupid. She still may be a kid, but she doesn’t know why the hell anyone thinks kids are stupid. 

She can still pretend like she’s gonna be a doctor. She’ll just need to add some necessary lies. Like saying she needs to study foreign languages to a.) make sure she knows her patients, and b.) get scholarships. Saying she needs self-defense because she wants to work in DC. 

“To work on politicians, huh?” her dad asks with a grin. “Don’t pull the plug, they’ll throw you in jail.” 

“I won’t get caught,” Sharon jokes. 

“Don’t,” her mother warns. “You’ll get us all in trouble one day, I swear. What made you decide to focus more on all this, hm?” 

“Future’s important,” Sharon says. “Isn’t that what you always say, mom?” 

“So you can listen to that but not me telling you to put away your laundry seven times?” 

“Mom!” 

Her mother chuckles. 

“I’m proud of you, honey. Just think, our next doctor! How fun...” 

She prattles on about her insanely-boring Uncle Jimmy, who could make paint beg to dry quicker. 

Sharon starts studying, and studying hard. She memorizes languages, at least enough to get by. She starts going to the gym and kickboxing. And she remembers that she wants to do this in spite of Aunt Peggy, because she wants to be there to help people. 

She remembers Peggy’s stories of Steve, which always varied with Captain America’s. Steve was a sweetheart who liked to draw and had a surprisingly vicious sense of humor. 

“You and him would have gotten along like a house on fire,” Peggy would say, chuckling. “Of course, he owed me a dance...I’m not sure if I would have taken him up on that.” 

She would gaze fondly over at Uncle Daniel, who smiles in response and kisses her on the forehead and tells her what’s for dinner. 

Steve always did stuff for the right reason. Didn’t matter that he was as skinny as a telephone pole, didn’t matter that he could get around New York by categorizing which streets he got beat up on. He kept going. He kept trying to be the best person he could under the circumstances. 

That’s what Sharon likes about Steve Rogers. Of course Captain America most likely ended World War II on a much quicker pace and gave hope to millions, but it was Steve who at the end of the day promised a dance and had smiles on his face that were endearingly familiar to her. 

When she goes to college, she goes on scholarship and moves into a dorm. Her mother tries to convince her in vain to join a sorority. 

“Don’t you want built-in friends?” Her mother asks. “After all, you know that I still talk to Roberta and Missy from mine--” 

“And they’re such a delight,” dad mutters, ignoring the dirty look his wife gives him. “Sharon, do what you want. You wanna join a sorority? Fine. You don’t? Cool.” 

“They’re beneficial, Sharon. Who knows how many connections you could get for jobs?” 

That makes Sharon pause. 

She joins a sorority. Not her favorite thing, but some of these girls have mothers and fathers and family members that sway decisions. And if she wants a favor later, she’ll have to see Lindsey puke out three margaritas in a shitty bar to do it. 

Class, of course, is difficult. She plays the part well of studying to be a doctor and finding out it just isn’t for her. 

“Oh that’s okay,” her father says. “I wanted to be an archaeologist at some point. Can you imagine how ridiculous that would be? I misplace my socks half the time, I don’t know what I’d do with dinosaur bones...” 

Sharon giggles. Says she’s thinking about switching to be a communications major. 

They okay it, she’s set. She also has more time to train, practice languages, and get a minor in Spanish. 

She keeps a lookout for SHIELD. Listens carefully to what her dad says about Aunt Peggy. 

He knows something happened. Neither party will tell him, but something is off in the way Sharon makes too sharp a remark and Peggy hasn’t the faintest idea what Sharon’s actually up to. 

“I worry about both of them,” Harrison tells his wife. 

“People grow apart some times,” Amanda answers sleepily. “And it’s good that Sharon grew out of that phase where she wanted to be Margaret. Of all things...” 

He supposes his wife is right. He sets down his newspaper, takes off his reading glasses, and heads to bed. 

Meanwhile, Sharon has ditched her sorority’s party night to interview at SHIELD. She’s submitted her applications under Agent Thirteen, waiting for a response. When she gets an email from someone named “Phil Coulson” to meet at seven o’clock for an interview, she dresses in business casual and waits at a cafe for him. 

He blinks. 

“Does...does Director Carter know you’re here?” 

“No, and I would prefer it if she didn’t,” Sharon says. “Especially since she’s retired and SHIELD is no longer under her eyes.” 

Coulson clears his throat. 

“Of..of course. May I ask why?” 

“Family connections are dangerous things to have in this business,” Sharon tells him, taking a swig of coffee. “I would prefer to avoid it.” 

- 

She gets a trial run. She’s put in a course with the other new recruits. Calls her parents and says it’s a boot camp for leadership. (She’s not wrong...technically.) She tightens her ponytail and listens as the senior agents tell them all it isn’t a walk in the park. 

“This isn’t some ‘save-the-day’ routine that you get to brag about once it’s done,” Agent Coulson says in that infuriatingly even, boring voice he has. “You’ll have nightmares. You will have to lie to everyone you love about everything. And people will leave you and you cannot blame them for it, you cannot tell them the real reason. Are you ready for that? Do you think you can handle that?” 

Recruits nod. Sharon says “yes.” Because verbalizing it? That means you have a dedication. Simply nodding never means what it is. It means you cannot dedicate yourself to a problem, but you think you can. 

It is that night when she sleeps on an uncomfortable cot that she understands Aunt Peggy a little bit more. She understands why she couldn’t always be there, why her own kids didn’t like visiting, or so mom had said. 

(Maybe why she told you to stay away, her brain whispers. But she remembers her throat burning, remembering that her aunt had told her that she couldn’t train someone like her.) 

Sharon keeps that thought away. Better not to have personal connections. 

Of course, everyone wants to know why she’s Agent Thirteen. 

“You like numbers or something?” One girl asks. “Come on, you can tell me. We’re friends, right?” 

They are not friends. Lily seems to think they are because she wants Sharon to let her guard down enough so she can beat her time on the obstacle course. 

“Nope,” Thirteen says. “Just call me Thirteen like everybody else. You’re not gonna know it.” 

“Fine, be that way,” Lily says. “I’m still gonna kick your ass on the obstacle course, Thirteen.” 

Sharon grins. 

“Do your worst, Lily.” 

(Lily’s worst is...well it’s worse than most everyone’s. She’s rejected from the field academy and doesn’t let anyone see her cry. But everyone can hear it over the steady thrum of the shower.) 

“So, why the number Thirteen?” Agent Barton asks. He’s different from most recruits. For one, he’s from Iowa. That in itself is...something. Secondly, he was recruited from an honest-to-god circus where he wore purple sequins. 

“Thirteen is my favorite number,” she responds, rewrapping her hands for the sparring session. “Why purple sequins?” 

“They were out of hot pink,” Clint says, and she laughs. “Come on, I think if we hurry to the cafeteria we can get a meal that is only questionable and not highly questionable.” 

Thirteen scores well on tests involving body language. She reads people like a book. Her aim could use work, but it’s proficient enough to impress. She can turn on the charm, turn on the lies like she’s meant to do it. 

(And she’s spent so long lying to everyone around her, is it any wonder?) 

When she gets officially inducted, Fury asks her if her aunt knows. 

“No, and I would rather she didn’t,” Sharon said tersely. 

She understands Peggy now. She understands her in the way that agents are lost and people get frustrated and drop the training because they have a spouse that they love more than life itself. God knows how Peggy balanced it. 

She thinks that maybe Aunt Peggy was scared that Sharon would disappear and never return, become like so many others on the wall of remembrance. 

Sharon touches Steve’s placard every time she passes it. It’s more tarnished than others, the first one on the wall. Her fingers trace the “S” and the “R” every time, and she smiles as she remembers the stories of him. 

People see similarities. The higher-ups don’t spill any secrets to the lower agents, they can’t. But they know that she’s related to Peggy in the way her voice becomes clipped when she’s frustrated, in the ways her eyes flash in rage. 

She’s too similar, she knows that. 

The comparisons won’t stop. Because she knows she’s too similar. Dear god, sometimes she’s worried that she’ll look into a mirror and see her. 

The older agents, the ones that have been in the field and now deal with all the boring paperwork and paper trails whisper to her that Peggy made a lot of the same decisions as she did, stayed behind to make sure the job was done. 

“You’re just like her,” Agent Veering says, his spectacles slipping down his nose. “She would be proud of you, you know.” 

No, no she wouldn’t. To have someone turn out exactly like you? 

Well...you know your shortcomings. You know your failures. You know how you will die, nearly. And someone having that same pattern? 

God, Peggy would die. 

So she pushes that out of her mind. She focuses on the mission at hand and reads the various notecards on the fridge about “please don’t touch this meal or you will die.” 

She’s one of their best. Of course she is, people say. Fury is reminded of Peggy’s legacy, of how Sharon acts. She puts herself out there first, luring people away with expectations. It’s...eerily similar. 

Sharon gets a call from her parents. They think she has an office job dealing with communications in security fields. (Technically not a lie. Also not a complete truth.) 

“You need to come visit Peggy,” dad says quietly. “Please.” 

“What happened?” 

“She’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” 

It’s a terrible thing. Because it can’t get better, it will only get worse until you have someone who doesn’t know a damn thing. 

Peggy doesn’t like all the fuss. 

“Don’t worry about me darling,” she tells Harrison. “I’m fine. Just a bit forgetful. I’ll be out of hospital in a week, tops. I’ll be back to work!” 

She thinks she’s going back to work a lot. 

They actually have to keep her in a special home, one monitored by SHIELD agents. She keeps revealing secrets, ones that people absolutely cannot know. 

But on good days, Sharon visits. And on bad days. 

“I cannot believe you joined SHIELD,” Peggy says sharply. “It’s exactly what I didn’t want you to do.” 

“Should’ve told me to go for it and then told me about the recruit training,” Sharon says. “Would’ve turned me off completely.” 

Peggy laughs. She holds Sharon hands. 

“Promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t...don’t be like me.” 

And it means more now. It’s unavoidable, what Peggy has. And yet there’s always the “what if.” 

“Okay,” Sharon says, knowing she is lying. “Okay.” 

Sharon cries in her car. For longer than ten minutes. Which is fine, she knows that. 

But she gets a call from Hill. 

“Thirteen?” 

“What?” 

“Okay over there?” Maria asks. Sharon can feel the eyebrow raise from here. 

“Personal issues. I’ll be okay. What is it?” 

“You’re gonna want to get here as quick as possible. I’m talking a hundred miles an hour.” 

“What, did Fury finally wear white?” 

“No, way better than that.” 

- 

They fucking found him. They found Steve Rogers. He’s in a block of ice and he’s alive. 

Sharon’s horrified. Everyone else seems to be losing it, smiling and grinning because Cap is back. 

They don’t know how badly he’s going to be out of time. 

She goes straight to Fury. 

“You can’t push him immediately,” she says. “You can’t.” 

“And what, you know Cap better than us?” Fury asks. 

“I know Steve better than you,” Sharon says, leveling with him. “And this is gonna suck and he’s going to need to learn how to be himself before Captain America is even an option. Trust me. Trust the psychologists who are gonna tell you the exact same thing.” 

Fury looks at her for a moment. 

“Tell me the difference.” 

“Steve is going to run out of that room because you messed up,” Sharon says, gesturing to the woman they’re having going in. “You got the fashion wrong, you got the hair wrong. In the army, her hair would’ve been up and away. You’re also playing a baseball game that he was at. He knows that he won’t be.” 

“We’re not sure the state of his memory.” 

“He memorized strategies and sites of attack in one glance and could recall even the smallest detail about a stranger, he’ll remember,” Sharon argues. 

Steve Rogers runs. 

Sharon curses. She fucking knew they’d pull this, knew that SHIELD wanted Captain America back so badly they’d forget that he’s still just a guy.

He stares at Times Square with all of its people, all of the lights, and he looks lost. 

“I...I had a dance.” 

Fury ushers him back inside. Sharon says nothing. 

This does not explain why Steve Rogers gets moved in right next to her apartment. 

“What the fuck,” Sharon seethes into her phone. “When I told you to get him help, I didn’t mean me!” 

“You’re the one who has the closest connection to him. Seeing your aunt is gonna depress the living shit out of him,” Clint says. 

(Yes, she told Clint. In her defense she was wine-drunk, had eaten the best burger to that point in her life, and Clint had made her laugh for ten minutes straight.) 

“Is he seeing a therapist?” 

“As soon as he agrees to one.” 

Sharon knocks her head against the wall. And then goes over to see Steve looking forlornly at the space. 

“What’s up?” she asks. 

Steve turns, blinking at her. 

“Who are you?” 

“Sharon. Carter.” 

“You’re...?” 

“Related? Yes. But that’s not important right now. You need help unpacking your kitchen stuff.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“I don’t think you realize how bad new agents are at packing things,” Sharon says. “I’m helping.” 

Steve is truly and really lost. It reminds him of when he went through the city for the first time by himself and got lost around a streetcar and he couldn’t find his way back until Bucky had happened to walk by with a cute girl on his arm. 

He should really tell Bucky about all of this, he just needs to find--

Stamps. For a man who’s MIA. Or KIA. Most likely the latter. 

Then he can’t breathe. And he sits on a chair that’s too modern and he stares at a carpet that looks weird, and Sharon is by him. 

“Hey,” she says. “Breathe. You’re here in your apartment. I put away dishes. I’m making you get new coffee mugs because the ones you have are disgusting.” 

“Where the fuck do I get those?” Steve asks. “Woolworth’s? Do they even have those?” 

“Missed it by a decade or eight,” Sharon says. “No, there are other stores. Better designs, too. Or we can go and paint custom mugs. Ever wanted to see what it looks like to paint ‘fuck you’ on a mug?” 

Sharon is pretty sure she’s fucking everything up. 

But Steve laughs. 

“You can....you can do that?” 

“Of course you can,” Sharon says. “Let me show you some stuff...” 

Steve is taught the worst and best of American pop culture. He hates rock music for now. 

“I’m down the hall, the first room on your left,” Sharon says. “Don’t hesitate to knock for anything. I know you will need things, do not tell me you are fine. You’re not a good actor yet.” 

He breaks a wall. A fucking wall. It’s the one leading into her room, and luckily her bed wasn’t against it. He’s covered in dust and wood and plaster, and he speaks a litany of apologies. 

Sharon can’t help it. 

She laughs. 

“Only you would make sure we had a shared apartment,” she says. 

“I can fix it I know it isn’t proper--” 

“I don’t care about proper,” Sharon says. “At least now I can keep a closer eye on you. We’ll have SHIELD do some renovation work while I show you potentially the worst or best places you will ever go.” 

Steve gets a tour of DC. He remembers when there were stories and pictures of President Woodrow Wilson’s sheep “mowing” the lawn. He’s surprised at all the security measures, and is not happy that there is more security on public transit. 

“We can still break in if you want,” Sharon says. “But I’ll get you a pass.” 

“It’s the future and it sucks,” Steve mutters. 

Sharon laughs out loud at that. 

“Well I’ll show you something that doesn’t suck, and that is a restaurant that I only take few people to, such as Agent Barton. You’ll meet him later, he’s a real disaster.” 

Steve loves the burger place and all of its seedy decorations and kitschy photos of old celebrities visiting. 

Sharon takes him grocery shopping. He’s overwhelmed. 

“How are there more than one type of orange? How can you afford them?” 

“We get good pay from SHIELD,” Sharon answers. “Tell me, have you ever had a strawberry margarita?” 

“What?” 

“Adding to cart,” Sharon answers. “You’re about to enjoy alcohol, finally.” 

“Peggy tell you I hate it?” 

“Just figured you would,” Sharon says. “She said the only time she saw you drink was when Bucky disappeared.” 

It’s sad after that. Steve’s shoulders hunch in on themselves. 

“You ever lost someone?” Steve asks. 

“I am,” Sharon says quietly. “Do you want to make a pie?” 

“What?” 

“I’m going with no,” Sharon answers back. “We’ll make good brownies then.” 

Steve’s frame is hilariously slim when you wrap an apron around it. Sharon can’t see she doesn’t admire it. 

“This is amazing,” Steve says. 

“Quit licking the batter,” Sharon says. “We have to eat these, you heathen.” 

“Oh, like you’ll die from it,” Steve answers back sarcastically. “I was frozen for seventy years, I wanna lick batter.” 

Sharon nods. 

He doesn’t want to see a therapist. Insists he’s fine. 

Sharon gestures to the wall that is now tastefully decorated with curtains. 

“...fine. But if I don’t like it I’m leaving.” 

“Would never force you to stay,” Sharon says. “Keep in mind one therapist is not your end-all solution. Sometimes you need to look around.” 

“Do you...?” 

“Yup,” Sharon says. “Can’t be as sexy as I am without a few issues that need working on.” 

Eventually, Steve finds one. 

He shows Sharon his world. He shows her records that he keeps buying off online sites, the player that he swears he can fix up. 

“We could probably get you a functional gramophone if you wanted,” Sharon says. “Like yeah it’ll be expensive but we can do it.” 

“I want one that’s well-loved,” Steve says. “One with character.” 

Not for the first time does Sharon smile. 

They sit together at dinner sometimes, and Steve tells her about what Brooklyn used to be, and she tells him stories of how she would climb trees until she couldn’t go any higher, and she used to memorize all of the cassettes and CDs that her parents had. She could still sing along to ABBA with no prompt. 

She makes Steve watch Mamma Mia! after that, laughing as he stares wide-eyed. 

“This is incredible.” 

Steve looks at Sharon like she’s his world. And in some respects, she is. But he can’t get over how different she is from Peggy. And that’s the damning evidence, isn’t it? That she’s a connection, but she’s...she’s not. 

She doesn’t wear red lipstick, doesn’t own any. Told him one day that she looked stupid in it. “I’m unstoppable without it, I don’t need it,” she says, and it feels like there’s something more there. 

How she reacts in some ways like Peggy would, but how communicative she is with others. How she laughs and makes sure people are comfortable in the situation. Not that Peggy wasn’t any of that, but she was focused on getting to the end, to proving that it was a success. Sharon wanted the same thing, but what mattered was that people were okay. 

He doesn’t stay with Sharon all the time. She encourages him to get out “into the big, bad, scary world.” 

She meant interacting with college art students, which is quite scary. He agrees. He thinks it’s very cool that you can dye your hair now, and buys the shittiest dye ever. 

He dyes his hair blue and accidentally smears some down his neck. He shivers as Sharon traces her hand down, laughing. 

“Oh my god. Steve, what did you do?” 

“Marcy in my class has pink hair, I wanted to dye my hair!” Steve says defensively. “You left me bored.” 

Sharon smiles up at him. 

(What would it be like to wrap his arms around her? To hold her and let the universe pass them by?) 

He shakes his head out of the thought. 

“Ooh, showing off the hair?” Sharon asks, grinning. 

“Of course.” 

“Nerd,” she teases. “Well come on, I got some ice cream from the store. Your favorite which is disgustingly basic, but here we are.” 

“It’s basic for a reason, it’s good,” Steve teases right back. “Need to ask you about my new art project.” 

“Shoot.” 

“I need to draw someone. And you’re basically the only person I really, um, want to draw.” 

“What, afraid that you can’t capture Coulson’s strong personality on paper?” Sharon asks wryly. Steve snorts. 

“Oh yeah, his vivacity would fly off the page. Really and honestly, truly.” 

“Well, what do I need to do?” 

“It has to be a stylized portrait from any historical era,” Steve answers. “And I already have the materials and stuff, we just need to go shopping for some clothing and stuff. Maybe accessories.” 

“Okay.” 

Sharon thinks her heart is absolutely stupid for beating this fast. It’s been doing this more recently. 

Natasha keeps making fun of her. 

Steve wants to do a Baroque style, over-the-top goddess style. He has her dripping in drapery and gold chains, thin as can be. He delicately sets a crown that he weaved into her hair. 

“You look gorgeous,” he says, blinking. “Just...wow.” 

“All thanks to the cute artist,” Sharon flirts back, winking. “Tell me how you want me.” 

Silence after that. 

But Steve positions her reclining, and she can’t stop herself from raising an eyebrow at him. 

“I feel ridiculous, just so you know.” 

“You look great, if that’s any connotation.” 

“It could be.” 

She smiles at him, and that’s the winning expression. “Hold please.” 

Sharon tries her best, stilling. Benefit of SHIELD training. She can stay still for hours. Her smile, however, moves. 

This is fine. Steve smiles back. 

“Break time,” he announces a couple of hours later. Sharon sags on the couch, swinging her legs over. 

She overestimates her abilities and the fabric, as one foot gets caught and she falls forward. 

Steve’s catching her in a flash. She grins. 

“Being my hero, huh?” 

“Of course,” Steve says. “Where would I be if I didn’t save the pretty lady?” 

Sharon smiles, leans closer. 

“Can I...I wanna kiss you.” 

Steve blinks. Goes for it. 

Sharon smiles into it. 

- 

Months later, when everything’s going to shit and Natasha asks if that’s the first kiss he’s had since 1945, he smiles to himself. 

“No, it’s not,” he tells her. “You knew that, didn’t you?” 

Natasha smiles to herself. 

“Sharon’s not gonna be mad at me, is she?” 

“Of course not,” Steve says. “Especially after I tell her I convinced you to wear these terrible shoes.” 

“Hey!” 

When he wakes up at the hospital, Sharon’s standing at the side and Sam’s sitting down. 

“On your left,” Steve pants out. 

“You--” Sam hangs his head, laughing. “You got me on that one. Got your shield. We don’t know where Barnes is. Your girl is here, by the way. Gotta say, you got lucky.” 

“Damn right I did,” Steve says weakly. Sharon waves. Steve tries to wave. 

“You got thrown from a Helicarrier, don’t,” Sharon says. She sends Sam off with a goodbye hug and a promise to deliver some dessert as a thank-you. 

She looks at Steve. 

“You have so much explaining to do. So much. But later.” She takes his hand, kissing it softly. “I was terrified.” 

“So was I.” 

They sit like that for a moment. Steve turns, seeing the bandage around her arm. 

“What’s that?” 

“Rumlow’s a bastard with a knife, played dirty,” Sharon says. “It’s nothing. He got crushed under a building. Karma, you know. Whole thing.” 

Steve laughs. Winces. Sharon puts her hand over his. 

“Get some rest,” she says. “I’ll be back tomorrow to visit and evaluate if you can go home or not.” 

“I’ll be fine.” 

Sharon rolls her eyes. 

“Of course you are.” 

She presses a kiss to his forehead. 

“I love you, honey. Stay safe.” 

“You too.” He squeezes her hand. 

Things will be okay. 

[kuiinncedes]

hkdslfj

[roseworth]

i love arkham knight bc it’s a villain jason story that makes sense 💚💚💚 among other things. it’s also SO jason like that’s totally him it’s not an “ooc” else world. also arkham knight himself….. twirls hair

YESSSS the thing about arkham knight jason vs main comics jason is that he can be so much more fucked up and evil in arkham knight <3 in the comics obviously hes killing the bad guys and doesnt do the "kill without thought or warning" thing which i think is perfect for him usually BUT its fun to see an elseworld where he doesnt have the same morals as he does as red hood

just . his origin in arkham knight is that he basically was changed so much that he doesnt recognize himself anymore :( he had thoughts forced into his head through YEARS of brainwashing and torture that all caused him to become the arkham knight and hhh its just the fact that he KNOWS that joker was lying to him but he still had it so ingrained in his head that batman was evil hmhnmdsjadjam

but LISTEN. the fact that bruce showed that he cared about him one (1) time then jason immediately went "NVM. were all good <3" is so important to me because its like. yeah hes relearning the Truth but also :(! :(! :(! hes realizing that everything that hes believed and held onto ever since leaving arkham wasnt true!! he chose not to go back home because he thought that bruce replaced him and didnt care about him, but then he finds out that none of it was real and everything he did was for NOTHING ? he led a militia to attack the city just to realize that everything he was mad about wasnt really true. and he could have been welcomed home the entire time. like yeah thats gotta fuckin hurt!!!!! bc in the mainverse he was mad about joker being alive but in the arkhamverse joker is dead! he has nothing to get revenge for anymore!! he wants his revenge for being left in arkham but he finds out that he wasnt really left behind (once again pointing to "he left me!" "he LOST you." in the audio logs) and just. everything has been for nothing. he thought that he wanted batman dead but he didnt!!!

and oh my god. after YEARS he finally realizes he doesnt want bruce to die. he saves bruces life and its a big deal for him because holy shit thats a big change! its what HE wanted instead of what the joker made him want!!! ahhhh!!!! but then immediately after he realizes that he doesnt want bruce dead, bruces dies. (or well. "dies" but bruces ugly ass let everyone think he was dead)

and that has to fucking HURT because he wanted it for so long then the second he changed his mind, he gets what hes been working for for years. and saving batman while everyone else gets arrested means that he cut ties with everyone that he was working with (not that he would even WANT to keep working with them anyways but the option is not there) and bruce is dead so hes just. alone again. :( and bruce said that he wanted to help him and then before he could do anything he fuckign DIES ahhhhh

anyways. that was a whole rant completely unrelated to what you said. im not sorry i have a lot of feelings that i need to talk about or i die